#dont want yall thinking I am too crazy… yet.

[viperify]

Smutmas 2024 | ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴏ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ X ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Cool Down.

Short summary: After having spent a night in a cabin up the mountains with your boyfriend, you find yourself stuck the next morning with a massive amount of snow blocking your way. When Mattheo’s finally had enough of your complaints, he finds a way to get you to calm down.

Warnings: 18+ only! temperature play, impact play, unprotected p in v, slight degradation, slight brat taming??

A/N: based on this request by @jolly4holly. I know it’s a little different, I hope it’s still alright tho!! 💜

wordcount: 1,5k

It was supposed to be a short trip – two days only. A surprise from your boyfriend to take your mind off your upcoming exams for a while, as he knew just how stressed you were. It had been such a great day, exploring the area and then finally falling asleep cuddled up with him near the chimney, which radiated a pleasant warmth throughout the tiny room.

As your eyes fluttered open the next morning, waking up from probably the best, most carefree night‘s rest you have had in a long time, the cabin was almost entirely dark. The fire had gone out over the course of the night, only a dim light from the windows illuminating your shared cabin. You were sure it must be morning already, so you got up and opened the front door slightly. Instead of sunshine, a thick layer of snow greeted you, cutting you both off from the outside entirely.

It’s been three days since, with the snow only melting bit by bit each day. You have increasingly grown more nervous and there wasn’t much Mattheo could do to calm you down. He has been trying everything to reassure you, but with your exams so soon, and you not having studied yet, nothing could possibly help.

The snow level had gone down enough that you could now at least leave the cabin, up to where Mattheo and you had cleared most of the snow. You had been pacing around the tiny room, rambling all day about your studies, how tired you are of being stuck up here and what not. He’d been listening to it, just like the days before, until he had finally had enough of your antics and led you outside.

He currently has you kneeling just outside the cabin, the biting cold spreading through your body, sending shivers down your spine as you inhale a shaky breath. This is Mattheo’s way of getting you to listen to him, always “solving” your problems in his own, unique way. The clang of his belt dropping to the floor with a thud has your head turn to face him, your lips turning into a pout.

“Please Mattheo, it’s cold!”

“Well, no shit. You are kneeling on snow.” he scoffs, casting a charm on himself to keep warm before he gets down behind you, the snow crunching under his weight. “That’s what bitching around the entire day gets you. Always need me to fuck that damn attitude out of you.”

“But-“ you try to protest, though his palm coming down on the flesh of your ass cuts you off with a gasp. “You have complained enough. It’s time out for that bratty mouth of yours.”

One of his hands covers your mouth, the other reaching between the both of you to guide his tip between your already slick folds, collecting some of your arousal before he nudges at your entrance. Mattheo then steadily sinks his length into your anticipating cunt, a low groan falling over his parted lips as he does so, your warm walls a welcoming contrast to the freezing temperature outside. “Fuckkk. Complaining it’s cold, yet your pussy is fuckin’ radiating warmth. Wish you could feel that now, huh?” he taunts you, and although you aren’t able to see his expression, you can hear the stupid grin he is wearing while he says it.

Mattheo’s hand leaves your mouth hastily, both sets of his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips instead. He then slowly, agonizingly so, drags his cock out of your pulsating heat, making sure you feel every single inch of his length before he slams back inside of you.

He sets a steady rhythm, your combined moans and the sound of your skin smacking against his fill your otherwise tranquil surroundings. You struggle against the cold, tiny clouds forming in the crisp winter air each time you breathe, your fingers tingling from the lack of blood circulating through them.

A shriek escapes your lips as a splash of water lands on your bare skin, wandering down your back until Mattheo wipes it away, stilling his movements. “You just squeezed me so fucking tight. Icy water making you feel good now?” the brunette mocks, reaching beside him as you hear the crunch of snow. Before you can react, a shockingly cold sensation forms on your lower back and you lurch forward, though quickly stopped by your boyfriend.

“Mattheo! What the-“ you hiss, and although you shiver in response, it oddly intensifies the feeling of him inside of you. Again, he grabs some snow and trails it over your neck and shoulders, following the damp path with his tongue. “Mhm. I knew you would love this, filthy girl. Can’t deny it when all I feel is your pussy begging for more.”

You open your mouth to argue, which finally is the last straw for the embodiment of impatience behind you. “Givin’ me no other choice now. Always need something in your mouth to stop whining.” he hisses through gritted teeth, the sound of cracking ice reaching your ears. “Open your mouth and keep it there. If you dare complain again before I am done with you, it’s not only your knees that will be sore tomorrow.”

Mattheo brings something frozen to your mouth, something you make out to be an icicle. As you try to protest, his fingers firmly wrap around your hair, pulling your head back to rest on his shoulder. You innocently look up, meeting his sharp expression, eyebrows raised expectantly. “Okay, okay!” you finally give in, and he lets you go, pushing you forward again. “I thought so.”

Reluctantly, you wrap your lips around the frozen spear, holding it up sideways like he instructed you to. Your whines are muffled and he doesn’t waste another second before he thrusts up into your warm cunt once more, having you almost drop the provisional gag as you gasp in surprise.

“Knew she would love this. Dripping all over me, makin’ a fuckin’ mess on my cock.”  Mattheo growls as he pounds into your pulsating, wet walls wrapped snugly around him, your mixed arousal evident on both of you. You have always loved how vocal Mattheo gets when he is close to his release, groaning and whimpering as he hits your cervix with every single thrust, his tight grip on your hips surely leaving bruises you’d be able to see for days to come.

“Fuck- just like that, don’t stop!” you cry out best you can as he brushes against that sensitive, spongey spot inside of you, your cunt greedily clenching around your boyfriend’s swollen length in return. “So- fucking- impossibly- tight.” he gasps loudly, punctuating his words with particularly rough thrusts.

His palm repeatedly comes down on the plush curve of your ass, each strike sending a sharp, blissful sting straight to your core. “Coming, baby. Fuck-“ he exclaims, collecting your hair in a messy ponytail just to push you forward into the snow, his hips slamming against yours as he hovers over you.

In the meanwhile, the icicle has slipped from your lips, and you whimper as the last bit of warmth leaves your body when it touches the freezing cold snow. It doesn’t take long until all the sensations you are feeling become too much, having you tumble over the edge with a cry. Mattheo’s breaths become ragged and hot against your neck, as a low, guttural groan slips from his parted lips. He soon too finds his release, painting your velvety walls with thick ropes of his white cum.

Mattheo pants heavily, lowering himself to rest on top of you to catch his breath, placing soft kisses on your shoulder. You were quite certain that any second longer of this would turn you into an icicle yourself.

“Mattheo. Could you-“

“Oh shit, baby wait,“ he says, pulling out of you and getting up instantly, dragging you with him. His eyes hurriedly travel up and down your form to check if you were alright as you stand before him. “You okay? Wasn’t too much?” he asks, voice laced with worry.

You shake your head, grinning. “It was perfect.”

Immediate relief floods the brunette’s face, a sly smirk forming on his lips as he pulls you into a tight embrace, praising you for how well you did for him. With a flick of his wand, he casts a drying spell on you before getting you back inside the cabin to warm up.

Mattheo wraps a blanket around your shivering form, guiding you towards the fireplace he had already lit beforehand. Your head rests on top of his shoulder as he helps you get warm, gently stroking your back and pressing a kiss to your forehead. Then, you two are silent for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s company before he turns his head toward you slightly, his brown eyes meeting yours, a mischievous grin playing on his lips.

“Just needed me to fill this pretty pussy up to get you to calm down, huh?”

“Mattheo!”

thank u sm for ur help @leona-hawthorne 💜💜

[afsalovescats]

hi! I am 🏛️, so i would like to request a 18!Dazai and reader, like idk of you do smut, if not then you can ignore, i dont want yall to feel uncomfortable.

Make dazai like veryyyy Horny, and reader just appears at the wrong time (poor them)

If you can do this, thank you, if you feel uncomfortable then i am truly sorry.

Guys he is the litteral def of a slut. also u can interperate their relationship.

Anywho yk the drill, too lazy so ill add banner later, enjoyyyyyy

no but srsly i got so much motivation yaeyyyy

You walk into the living room, ready to relax after a long day. However, the scene before you makes your jaw drop. There's Dazai, sprawled out on the couch, completely naked a white button up which leaves little to the imagination. His lean physique is mostly on full display as he touches himself shamelessly, one hand stroking his impressive length while the other goes under his shirt and he tweaks a nipple.

"Fuck, name." he groans, eyes closed in ecstasy. "I've been thinking about you all day. 'Wanted to feel your tight little body wrapped around my cock." He moans out with eyes squeezed shut. Dazai is too lost in his lustful fantasies to notice your presence yet. His hips buck upwards as he works himself over, panting heavily.

"Gonna fill you up so good," he mumbles deliriously. "Paint your insides white with my cum. You'd like that, wouldn't you? To be marked as mine..." he then lets out a whine as he groans. hes an actual slut!

You stand there completely shocked and suprised as you watch with parted dry lips, trying to stutter out anything but just go red at the sight of him. Hes thinking of you so shamelessly too. Hes out in the open and….gah.

Dazai's eyes flutter open for a second and land on you standing there, mouth agape. For a moment, he seems startled, but then a wolfish grin spreads across his face. "Well hello there, Name. Fancy seeing you here," he flirts, making no move to cover himself, in fact he continues stroking himself as he eyes you.

If anything, his arousal only seems to grow at being caught in such a compromising position. His cock throbs and twitches in his hand, pre-cum beading at the tip. "Like what you see?" Dazai taunts, slowing his strokes to an agonizing pace. "Why don't you come closer and get a better look?" he hums as you glance at his red angry tip.

He spreads his legs wider in invitation, the bulge in his underwear straining obscenely. One hand reaches down to cup himself through the fabric, massaging his heavy balls. "I bet you're curious what it would feel like to wrap your lips around my dick. To taste me on your tongue as I fuck your pretty little-”

“ 'Samu!” you exclaim all red at his words. Then the realization hits, Dazai is a man of his words. He gets what he wants no matter what he has to go through. You sigh as you glance at him, hes giving you a look which you know it’ll be difficult to decline. What a slut.

Dazai's fingers dig into your hips as he thrusts into you with force, his cock stretching you deliciously. Each powerful stroke sends shock waves of pleasure rippling through your body, and you can't help but moan and yelp in ecstasy. The room is filled with the sounds of your combined passion. The slap of skin on skin, the creaking of the couch, and your constant cries of pleasure.

"That's it, Name," Dazai growls, his voice thick with lust. "Take my cock like the good little slut you are. Fuck, you feel incredible." Ironic how you called him a slut not too long before you started sucking him off.

He leans forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss as his hips continue their abuse on your poor cunt.. His tongue explores your mouth, tangling with yours in a dance of raw desire. He taste’s himself on your lips and tongue, the flavor driving him crazy. (Slut.)

As Dazai ruts into you, you feel another orgasm building deep within your core. Your body tenses, muscles coiling like a spring about to snap. "Oh god, oh god, I'm gonna cum again!" you cry out as you spasm and hold onto him digging your nails on his pale skin leaving red delicious marks.

After you both are so spent, you try to communicate your exhaustion to Dazai, but he's too far gone in his lust to register your signals. His hips continue their relentless pace, plunging into you over and over again. As he does, you notice his eyes squeezing shut, his face contorted in a mix of pain and pleasure. You both are so overstimulated.

" ‘Samu," you gasp out between labored breaths. "I think we should take a break. I'm... I'm too sensitive." You pant out so so tired.

But your words fall on deaf ears as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his teeth grazing your skin. "Can't stop," he mumbles, his voice muffled against your flesh. "Need you so fucking bad. Gonna make you mine forever." Shit your going to die in lust with him.

[kleptozoology]

Listen I am really happy that the United Healthcare CEO got shot, but yall are saying some CONCERNING shit about his suspected killer. First of all, you are innocent until proven guilty, so stop calling Luigi Mangione the assassin when he literally hasnt even had his trial yet. Secondly, yall treating him like a saint, a martyr, and the Second Coming of Christ (literally wtf, I've seen the art yall make) is fucking creepy. Seeing people compare him to art of the arrest of Jesus and making votive candles of him dressed as a saint? Fucking weird. That is not a normal thing to do no matter how much I hate UHC (I'm a disabled American who has had them deny my treatments repeatedly). Yall need to put some ice on your murder boners. I was pretty excited about this at first too, but yall have taken this to a crazy extreme. You've made a fandom. You've made a fandom that is bordering uncomfortably close to a cult. I think yall need a few deep breaths, a glass of water, and a fuckin wake up call. This did not hurt UHC in any measurable way. They replaced the CEO immediately as if they were cycling the laundry and the money machine kept churning. Hell, their stock actually increased in value immediately following the assassination.

My treatments still arent fully covered and my insurance keeps shifting me onto less effective medication because they dont want to pay for me to actually get well. Nothing has changed. This was a deeply satisfying moment of national catharsis, but the moment has passed and yall are making it weird.

[thatdeadaquarius]

With your language AU, I remember watching a video about a guy speaking angrily nonesense in an Indian accent and people thinking he was very angry. Imagine this as the Creator speaks angry gibberish to people and they just assume that the Creator is cursing them or something. (Or like when they speak gibberish to babies and everyone's like, "Aw the Creator is teaching that baby their divine language")

*AUDIENCE DRAMATICALLY GASPS.

✨️I look pretty good for a dead bitch✨️

She's alivveee!!!

Whats up i almost passed away from sheer academic workload, but im not in the ground yet 🥰 And with drafts outta my ass! :D

Hope yall ready for ur regularly scheduled Bullshit Genshin Sagau <3

SANDBEES THATS SUCH A GOOD USERNAME & ALSO SORRY I ANSWERED THIS SO FUCKING LATE JESUSSSSS 💀💀💀

SORRY ABT THE POLL I CANT BELIEVE I COULDNT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DELETE IT IM FUCKING CRYING I WOULD DO THIS-

Well at least i can do polls thru this in the future?? Idk tumblr is ass so we'll see how this accidental test works out...

☆

So these were the first thngs i thought of and its not super long bc ASKERS R GENIUSES OKAY

SOMTIMES I JUST WANNA PROFUSELY THANK U GUYS AS A REPLY FOR SHARING WITH THE CLASS THRU MY BLOG 💖💘💫

Saw the gif and couldnt help but think this is how ppl like Alhaitham or Diluc would react to u "speaking ur langauge"

"Our langauage" aka being a SIM 💀

◇

Stop Albedo would ask you to teach him ur lang/grammar rules 😭

What u gonna do when Zhongli asks you to teach him some words-

OH NO

NO DONT PASS ON YOUR BULLSHIT LMAO

U GIVING ZHONGLI SOME STUPID SIM WORD LIKE

Your ass: "GIGGLABAH means beautiful :) "✨️

Zhongli: "Oh thank you, how different from our own version, so excited sounding..."

You walk by him strolling the harbor and he just smiles at you and says

"You look gigglabah today my liege."

HIS REGAL FACE AND FANCY WALK WITH HIS HAND BEHIND HIS BACK AND EVERYTHING

(honestly ppl paint him as oblivious but he kinda seemed like the type of bastard who seems like he's not aware but sometimes he secretly knows the truth, he's just getting too much amusement out of it to stop doing it, LOL he does shit like the above to see YOUR reaction- LMAO)

◇

You're a maniac pls tell me u dont pass on simlish to all the serious characters-

XIAO WOULD SECRETLY THINK IT SOUNDS GOOFY BUT WANT TO BE INVOLVED BC ITS YOU ANYWAY LMAO

SO HE'S JUST SLIGHTLY SQUIRMING AND GETTIN PINK EVERYTIME HE SAYS A STUPID SIM WORD BC HE FEELS LIKE A GOOF HAHA

(& he's not the only one, others too like Kaveh, YELAN, Ningguang, Nahida, DILUC, AYAKA LMAO-)

◇

Some ppl i could see taking ur gibberish bullshittery and whether they believe its real or not is irrelevant bc theyre using it anyway-

And i dont mean in a good way 😭

LIKE IM THINKING OF VENTI.

CRAZY BARD INCLUDING SIMLISH ASS GIBBERISH WORDS IN HIS SONGS BC OF YOU

"Be cheerful like the hugkukie,

and may your cup never leaky!"

And Diluc loves you.

Really he does, deeper than he thinks-

But his eye is twitching LMAOO

◇

(Ok but if you did like multiple of these language shenanigans thruout the asks ive gotten, Kaeya would literally grow so fond of you and associate you with goofy funny shit that makes him laugh so hard that everytime he sees you he automatically is beaming with a smile, or trying to supress a warm grin- this got away from me but its 1:44am for me rn so i would love a smiley Kaeya rn -)

♡

Speaking language bs I have my 2nd oral exam for spanish tomorrow, pls send whatever good vibes u got and i am also really open to prayers from any religion as well. sobs

Hope anyone got any enjoyment out of my response bc tbh the ask is what rlly matters to me atp lmao

Until the next shenanigan-

Safe travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds mwah ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[ohyoufool]

Writing Patterns

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there’s a pattern!

Tagged by: @doggernaut and @montrealmadison my besties!!! I am so touched!!!!! and aren't we lucky that I just hit 10 posted fics?? And because I can't stop yapping, I put a little note about each of them.

austin (check, please!, bitty/jack)

"Jack comes to Georgia like a summer thunderstorm."

(this one is alternately titled 'I went through a lot of breakups last year and got into country line dancing and it shows')

call of the champions (check, please!, lardo/camilla)

"It’s Lardo and her board."

(THE FUCKING FIC. I AM SO PROUD OF HER. and also I bought a sick salt late city 2002 olympics leather jacket because of it and it's basically my whole personality)

creation myth (check, please!, bitty/jack)

"It goes like this."

(this is me and @montrealmadison's magnum opus, and I learned how to bind books just to immortalize it)

sloshed with gold (check, please!, bitty/jack)

"Jack’s phone starts ringing halfway through his Tuesday morning jog."

(if you like nhl!bitty and photographer!jack, she's your jam. not sure if I will ever like the way I wrote this one but eyyyyyy it exists)

rocket man (voltron, keith/lance)

"The fireflies were flickering above Keith’s dark hair to light the path. He stood on the porch as Lance looked out from the doorway. There was a moment of silence. “You will help me keep him here this time, won’t you?” he asked."

(I won't apologize for voltron. I am too far past the shame. i wrote a paper on voltron queerbaiting and it got me into college. I owe her everything.)

season of the witch (check, please!, bitty/jack)

"Sometimes, Bitty gets carried away with baking."

(um fun fact there's apparently been a typo in the first line of this one for the last THREE YEARS ?????? its fixed now but dear god. I would delete this if it didn't have the second most hits of any check please fic i've written. I cant reread it it makes me want to die.)

don't waste another mile or minute (not kissing me) (voltron, keith/lance)

"Light. An unusual amount of light. Keith throws his elbow over his face as he peels his eyes open, wincing as the sun blasts through an open window."

(an OLD banger that I wrote at my first internship because it was so boring. some clever lines but my writing has improved tenfold since 2018)

and all I can taste is this moment (voltron, adam/shiro)

"There is absolutely nothing like flying, Takashi Shirogane, sixteen, almost-professional pilot, assumes. He assumes because he hasn’t been allowed to fly (yet), but if the simulator gives him any idea of what flight is like, Shiro is going to be hungry for it for the rest of his life."

(my magnum opus before creation myth, and the longest thing I've ever written (48k). yall ever yolo on a rarepair and write a biblically accurate cold war fic? no? just me? ok.)

last sunrise in the wasteland (voltron, keith/lance)

"The first time that Keith kisses Lance, the sky is the color of cotton candy. "

(this is my fic with the most hits which is great except there's a softcore porn scene in it I forgot about and subsequently subjected my grandpa to when he was reading it and making edits for me. so now it makes me want to die a little thinking about that. no he never brought it up.)

In my veins (carry on, baz/simon)

"On the worst day, Baz wakes up in Simon’s arms, the cursed tattoo glaring at him in the morning sunshine. Simon is still passed out, body curled into Baz, chestnut curls bouncing with each heady breath. The mark bitten onto his neck from the night before flashing like a highway sign on his neck."

(once someone bookmarked this with the tag 'out of character' and it has haunted me every single fucking day since I read that. WHY DID THEY BOOKMARK IT IF THEY DIDN'T LIKE IT. sorry it drives me crazy. I DONT UNDERSTAND.)

Tagging (no pressure, and anyone else can also jump in!): @justlookfrightened @bittysthesis @chaoskiro @zimbits-my-love @parseisflat @a-very-gay-disaster @dessertwaffles

[cf-377]

JAKE - boyfriend

It's crazy how crazy I am about you.

Jake!fem/reader

Date at the cinema.. and a kiss🤭

:tell me if yall want a serie I really want to do one so bad 🤔 (jk I already started at one😃)

⚠️OFF TOPIC - NEED TO BE READ IF YALL DONT WANT TO WAIST MONEY AND ITS 100%FREE⚠️

I do not use Spotify because I will not waist my money on it! But I have another app and it's the best app ever and I want more people to know about the app so they don't waist there money on spotify, the app is called AUDIOMACK and it's not an ad or whatever I really just want yall to use it if yall don't want to waist you're money!🤝🤝 JUST HELPING!!!

The theater is almost silent, only a few others scattered around, but it feels like you and Jake are in your own world. His arm rests over your shoulders, pulling you close. The movie has been playing for a while now, and although you try to focus, you’re too aware of him beside you, his warm presence and the way his thumb gently brushes your shoulder.

Then, on the screen, the two main characters exchange a glance—an unmistakable, lingering gaze—and you know what’s coming next. The characters in the movie kiss, slow and intense, the kind that makes everything else disappear.

You feel Jake shift beside you, his fingers freezing for a moment, and you sense his gaze on you. You turn toward him, heart pounding, cheeks already flushed. His eyes drop to your lips, lingering, like he’s thinking about it, feeling the same pull you do. The light from the screen reflects in his eyes, making them look even softer, and he leans in, hesitating just a breath away.

"Is this okay?" he whispers, his voice barely audible, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath.

You nod, almost forgetting to breathe, feeling like every second is stretched out, heavy with anticipation. Jake’s hand lifts to gently cup your cheek, his touch featherlight but grounding, as his lips meet yours. It’s a soft kiss at first, gentle and cautious, like he’s savoring every detail, like he’s afraid to break the spell. His thumb grazes your cheek, and you feel the warmth of his fingers, his steady presence grounding you.

But as you sink into it, as you respond to him, the kiss deepens, turning into something more raw, more real. His hand slips behind your neck, pulling you closer as if he can’t quite get enough. You lose yourself in the feeling of his lips moving with yours, his gentle yet insistent hold, the way he tastes faintly like popcorn and warmth.

The movie keeps playing in the background, but you’re completely oblivious to it now. All you can focus on is Jake, the way his hand cradles your face, the way his other arm tightens around your shoulder, as if he never wants to let you go. The kiss is intense, raw, as if you’re both pouring every unspoken feeling into it, all the words you haven’t said yet.

When he finally pulls back, just a little, his forehead rests against yours, his breathing unsteady, eyes still closed as he smiles, almost like he’s a bit overwhelmed too. You both stay there, caught up in the magic of the moment, not saying a word, just letting the silence and the warmth between you linger.

"Guess the movie isn’t the only thing I’m falling for tonight," he murmurs, his thumb tracing slow circles on your cheek.

You let out a quiet laugh, feeling the exact same, your fingers still tangled gently in his hair as you whisper, "Maybe we should come to the movies more often." He chuckles, and for a moment, everything just fades away, and it’s just you and him, holding onto a memory that feels like it’s yours forever.

:sorry if it's short!! And ikk there's gonna be a lot of post but because I've been working on them for long so I thought why not post them? Anyways- I hope yall like it and I take req so feel free.❤❤

[eclipsewxtch]

okay so i have so much stuff planned for blue moon so MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD FOR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS FOR ANY FUTURE CHAPTERS LOOK AWAY AVERT UR EYES:

ik i said this before but all relationships r implied n i don’t make anything canon. that being said, i make sure all ships (even the most obscure n rare ones) get their flowers!! whether that’s from POV’s in the chapter, dialogue, or just little moments/details. that being said, here’s what i intended:

• ethan & jesse have the relationship dynamic of two toxic divorced men who have shared custody of their daughter (jane)

• jane is jesse’s kid idc idc idc im making it happen its gonna give reluctant dad/mentor who’s lowkey the Worst Person Ever & daughter/mentee he didn’t want but NEEDED!!! they’re gonna be so good. im gonna eat it up.

• jane is ethan’s kid too ig but it’s not the same. like that’s her protector n her brother sure but JESSE?? he commits war crimes for that little girl she’s his baby

• audrey & ethan have the relationship dynamic of something soft and sweet. like she makes him feel grounded, but not exactly human. safe. i adore them. i rlly wanted it to give monster bf x human gf so i hope it has those vibes(?)

• rory & ethan (im so so biased i love them so much) they have the dynamic of puppy love. they’re just the sweetest n kindest n they make my heart hurt so much. literally aches.

• benny & ethan r very much old married couple. (they’re gonna hurt yall so bad in the last chapter for s1 like yall r gonna hate me!) they fight n bicker, but it’s like a domestic kind (until it’s not) n crazily enough i actually don’t ship them (don’t crucify me yall) but i want to feed the bethan shippers.

• sarah & ethan give nerd x cool girl he’d do anything for. like he is the loser bf to her cool popular gf!! i actually rlly love this ship n its kinda sickening, but i think ethan heals sarah from her past hurts (jesse u asshole) n sarah makes ethan feel seen n less of a dork.

• erica & ethan r just cuties!! friends forever!! like it’s black cat x golden retriever with them. while i don’t ship, i understand it’s a REALLY rare pair, so they have cute moments where they have fun together. its more platonic, i’ll admit, but if u wanna read into it u can.

• benny & erica r unrequited crushes. like i fear they had a crush on each other b4 she became a vampire, n after the bite it just could never go anywhere. she became too different, n he stayed the same. he’s bitter abt the missed chance; n she can’t imagine him ever liking her before she was a vampire.

• erica & rory have the same dynamic in the show but she’s just nicer to him about it. that’s her puppy, n she treats him as such but she’ll be DAMNED if YOU treat him like a dog. who do u think u r???

• erica & sarah are sapphic vampire gfs. soulmates, ur honor. it’s bad. real bad. i fear they are each other’s homes.

• jesse & rory give evil villain n his loyal henchman. it’s cute in a “oh he listens n respects ur opinions” kind of way, but he takes those opinions to further his selfish agenda.

•NO RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN JESSE/SARAH OR JESSE/ERICA, THAT SHIT IS PAST TENSE AND FINISHED!! REFUSE TO HAVE A MAN COME BETWEEN WOMEN!

•audrey & sarah r gonna be best friends. they don’t argue over a man; they’re better than that. unfortunately audrey is straight n this won’t be romantic😓

• s2 is gonna be longer than s1–so like twenty chapters probably(?) #longfic #somuchthoughtputinthis and i am probably gonna go back n edit s1 chapters in between updates for s2 but i rlly rlly wanna dive deep in each character. ESPECIALLY JESSE. this redemption arc is gonna go crazy. he’s a horrible, terrible, very bad man and yet!!

• i love audrey n im forcing everyone to love her as well. i normally hate OC’s in fics bc it’s like damn why is this person taking over the narrative(?) n more often than not it feels like an extension of the author’s personality. unfortunately if i was gonna make audrey an extension of me and a self-insert for me i would have her flirt HEAVY w erica. love erica bad😝 if anything audrey is just for fun. i was like hm? what if we gave ethan a little red riding hood?? wouldn’t that be sooo funny? n it is.

• i’m sorry for bringing this up again but the ethan & jane & jesse dynamic goes sooo crazy. so crazy. be thankful im not turning it into a louis & claudia & lestat situation bc i contemplated more than once having jane almost die n ethan beg jesse to turn her. i decided against it but the urge was there.

[agp]

i dont know how to share my confidence on anything honestly around here you know how it is. but its over. we won tabarnac. the communists win. i told opirg today. you dont need to dig very far to see how game over it is. we have world peace by christmas and i believe it for real. gg guys.

peace and love on planet ottawa! peace and love on turtle island! peace and love in palestine! we have negotiation tables in qatar again monday morning!! did that 20 million year old fossil in washington need a slap from his buddy justin or did this not even need to happen?

there are a lot of doors everywhere. there are a lot of keys everywhere. people love to just leave their keys everywhere, especially still in the ignition in this stupid city and im the biggest thief here. de toute facon comme jte disais..

the iron dome has security measures. i have good reason to believe i am aware of a particular security vulnerabilty on the israeli side and ive been telling everyone to change their passwords forever you know how crazy it is out there.

i shared a particular code with an antizionist mensch that has been coming to the solidarity demonstrations held every weekend in ottawa since netenyahu and his genocidal regime escalated the situation to a war months ago last october. i shared other strategic victory plans with the pym and they all know where to find each other.

ill go bug embassy security about nonsense at 3am on my way back from the bar if anyones around. its warm as shit out here this month idk they might be out for a smoke or something. its not like the palestinians have much of an equivalent but im in the market so yall know exactly where i wanna go.

long story but my favourite tree in town survived the two years of peace i gave canada and the rest of the world from my bullshit! i think qatar or some other gulf state is building its embassy around it. i want to convince them to save this thing and integrate it into their design so bad. her name is grandmother acab!! forreal guys. if theres another close favourite its the apple tree near the aviation museum that fruits like a maniac. im just too shy to bug the ppl at city hall about it if they already offered it to another gulf state in that alley (the japanese and south korean embassies arent far either, its just behind global affairs lmao).

i wanted to play more concerts in that field with my friends. as far as i can tell mitski and lady lamb are interested in playing there again. i need to hit them up when shit gets less crazy again. i dont even know if they realized this was communist bullshit and theyre americans lmao.

its been left to fallow for sooo long and its one of my favourite spots in town. ive offered to kill suicidal friends there before idk. its very sacred to me. and im so glad the bulldozing hasnt started yet really. the shit they did down by the marina and the path down to the kichi zibi (ottawa/great river) from the north end of lowertown hurt me sooo much my god. i was scared i lost so much more behind the mint too dear lord.

sorry for making the good news so long and silly tonight. i need to hustle more responsibly lol. ily all. if i dont see you again good morning good afternoon and goodnight bozos! this truman show with the rcmp bugging my life needs to stop already. check out lady lamb! sound of the summer!

with solidarity and friendship,

audrey, jeanne, and friends

miigwetch

[hotgirlstiles]

What do you consider essential sterek songs? 💓

OHHHH MY GOD I JUST WENT CRAZY. OJAY!! OKAY:

in my room by frank ocean is THEEE one. i heard this song and instantly i was like i NEED to make a sterek playlist. like she started it all!!!

(also mind you i have 8. EIGHT. playlists for sterek. this might be a little long 🥲😂😅🤣)

BITE ME by kilo kish. just listen to it

home with you by fka twigs DUHHHHH.

seigfried by frank ocean of course. the markings on your surface. your speckled face. i just am a firm believer of derek hale who listens to frank ocean

closer by nine inch nails. It should be in everyones sterek playlist tbh

old money by lana del rey. i love my boyfriend by princess chelsea. NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU BABY BY CIGARETTES AFTER SEX. NO EXPLAIANTION NEEDED!!!!

angel by massive attack!!! this is specifically dark derek to me.. ouhhh

YALL THIUGHT I WAS DONE. IM NOT. THATS JUST ONE PLAYLIST.. i have sooo many essential songs for sterek uts drastic

i go to sleep by the kinks as well.. this is just sooo derekpov to me..the lyrics are just so fucking devastating to me... can also be applied to s5 stiles ohgod my tummy hurts

now this is the most important song i think. i bet yall were wondering why i havent even said it yet.. please, please, please let me get what i want by the smiths. or the one by deftones. both just scream DEREK ABOUT STILES so bad !!!! AND ALSO BACK TO THE OLD HOUSE BY THE SMITHS AGHHHHHHH THEEEEE DEREKPOVS ABOUT STILES SONGS likw the lines and youll never know.. how much i really like you cause i never even told you.... and about how he wants to go back to the old house but he cant... GAWD!!!!

distractions by wild painting is SO summer before s3 sterek to me.. like the kinda slow vibes and then the buildup to the bridge... thats just how i see sterek develop always like this crazy and gradual buildup that explodes everywhere

i wanna be good by the walters OHHHH GOD. OKAY THERES A PARTERN. A BUNCH OF DEREKPOV SONGS IT SEEMS.. hes amiling right at me and i feel it in my knees but i dont wanna trust no one.... like hello. god

iris by goo goo dolls. DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN. and VERY specifically this official live in buffalo, ny. Godfuck

and of course.. francis forever, pink in the night, geyser, and i will, all by mitski 🩷

as a final essential song for sterek…. i’m on fire by the everamazing bruce spingsteen.. 🩷🩷💗🫂

geez... this got too fucking crazy but i hope you like this little playlist almost.. maybe ill make my 9th sterek playlist and its just these songs.... i hope u also see sterek thru these songs like i do.. 💕🎀🍒🧸❤️

[onlyjaeyun]

honestly ive noticed how much u put aftercare/reassurance and my second thought after”sunghoons a bitch” was “i know this killed zadie to write”😭 the sacrifices u make for a good story i salute u🫡but dont feel bad bc this suits the plot so much better than if u had had hoon switch this early, same as the no kissing bc of the intimacy yet! dont worry yall itll just hit harder when it DOES happen hehe🤭

but zadie baby this is the most fun e2l ive read in forever! most r once sided or straight abuse so to see equal energy from both sides is so refreshing! like as a petty mfer who also gets called a bitch idc if i love u talk to me crazy i will talk crazier cause who tf u think i am🤨 HELL i nearly fought my brother(9yrs older than me) yesterday cause he caught an attitude with me for the cat running out the house like bitch do i look like fawn the animal fairy to you???

YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL BECAUSE DAMN RIGHT I DIED 😭😭😩 you're 109% right as this is needed for the character development and the plot so we gotta just squeeze them asscheeks together and take whatever comes our way for the plot's sake 🤕

pls i will literally give you a kiss rn 🥺🤍 thank you so much baby, so so happy to see how much you all are enjoying CH so far and you and me both because if i were in our girl's place i would have knocked that fucker down without hesitation 😩 youre so real for wanting to fight your older brother thats me with every male in my life

[sassyitalianversionoflove]

Out of reach

Tell me why it is so easy to fall in love but so hard to reach that love?

I have spent the last 12 years here where i live and i have been through my fair share of partners. hell even had a baby with one. but nothing has ever hurt as much as this.

let me explain, I met this man 25 lives in the states. and in the two weeks that i have known him i have fallen so deeply in love with him that this doesn't make any sense to me. we spend all day and night on the phone sometimes not talking about anything but yet have everything to say. Hell even his family thinks we are a thing. byt i wont commit. its too hard as he lives not where i am.

i know i have talked alot about sex and random hookups but for this one. it is love and what you cannot obtain when you want it the most.

He is this funniest man i have met. the kindest, man , and the most generous. Yall he is coming to my city next week after only knowing me for two weeks. This young 25 year old has shown more ACTION which most men lack in that time and i cannot help but think to myself how much i love him.

its getting harder and harder everyday and i don't know how much more i am willing to deal with this. yeah yeah yeah i know, give it a try. i mean he is moving to a city near me but still in a different country. its not that easy though, i need my person near me. i need love and support, affection. i don't want to do life alone like that.

hahah he said before me he had no intention of ever coming to canada! crazy right. believable i don't know. thats another thing. i dont know how much of his words i know how to believe or want to trust. my trust is gone yall, to allow another person in after this last one. is almost crazy.

Right now he stares through a screen watching me type this, looking at me telling me "you look cute"

I wish i could copy paste all of our late night talks and beautiful words that comes out of his mouth. but i cannot, and i wish it wasnt to hard to travel and make room in my life for someone who is far away. but it is . do i want to break hims heart? no. but sometimes i dont know if i have a choice.

Next week on Wednesday he will be here and i want to give him the best time and show him how amazing this place could be. but at the end of the day here we are, this perfectly imperfect duo that fell in love over a phone screen.

You are out of reach, but yet so very close.

your lips are right there, but yet i cannot touch them.

Your eyes are too easy to get lost in and they are in another country.

tell me how is this possible?

How is it this easy to allow myself to allow yo even a little bit in more than i have allowed anyone in and they live here?

I mean we could argue because there is a border creating space. and it's a lot easier to walk away.

This is all just off the top of my head, it wont make sense. it wont seem real. but welcome to my thoughts. welcome to disaster.

how do i navigate this?

[sapphicgarlic]

hi guyss

its been ages since I have been on here and I kinda miss it a lot, I am way more active on twitter under lioncunt but that's not what I logged in to say

its been a crazy (good and bad) months and I wanted to share a little bit

most importantly, I got off my medication which is crazy good. I have been on them for more than 5 years and I have very young so that's a lot. I started them when I was 14/15 and had been needing them since I was like 12 so getting off them is a huge thing for me. I am very truly happy about it because I truly didn't think about a time where I wouldn't need them. I thought it was going to be permanent especially since I am still living with my mom. its been crazy to see how depressed I was all my life, how sad I was. I haven't been taking my meds for like a year but that was me saying "I dont think I need them anymore" but to have a medical professional say "yeah you good" was crazy. bonkers. its so weird and so gratifying but that the same time I don´t want to come on here like everything is fine.

one of the thing that has made my months crazy is accepting I was abused. accepting that I am still abused. and have been, since birth. its really fucked up because now I truly see how little I was (and my brother too) and how much shit I was put through. that I am still put through. because that's the word. abuse. I always knew things were different but never ever considered it abuse. its a big word especially when its accompanied by child. I was a kid. still am in a lot of ways.

one of to good stuff is that me and my brother are thick as thieves which is something I never saw it happening. I just to be so angry at him. call him hideous names and now, he's the only person who actually supports me at my house. every weekend we go out and do a little brotherly outing, small as eating pizza or going to the farmers market. and its so nice. never thought that would make me as happy as its making me.

idk if I ever updated y'all but me and my ex broke up for good couple of months back. I don´t actively miss her but I have been thinking more theses lasts two weeks (I am over analyzing shit but in the normal sphere of things) about her unfortunately because she's in my class so I have to see her everyday but I low-key love hating her. its so nice. its such a normal thing and I love messing shit up. like I am sorry for her for being a child sometimes but I deserve to act like it ( it has been a while since I have bugged her, I actually only bugged her truly once and I learned my lesson!!!! I thought that bugging her was going to help to make me not hate her but it just added fuel to the fire so I leave her alone and I was having a hard week but yeah its so nice to hate her and call her names in my head. is it healthy? no but there's worse things in my life. the funniest thing that has happen is that I had a presentation on bipolar and she thought I was calling her bipolar through the presentation because my friends came to talk to me bc she was making faces all the time I was speaking so that was fun. in her defense, I used to say she had very bipolar behavior ( I actually forgot about it and only linked the dots after my friend talked to me and was like "she thinks you are talking about her") so yeah sdhfjhsdjfshdjfhsdjfhjsdsdjfhdjfsdhj do I really think she has bipolar? no. does she has a lot of bipolar behavior? definitely but you know, who's to say? I had to hold myself back a lot because I had to urge to send a text in the group we have saying "some people told me there wasn't a lot of happy faces while I was presenting, if anyone has a problem you could have talked to me and presented in my place" but as I said, I learned my lesson and I am staying quiet HUHUAHAUHAUAHUA

about jiji, my dearest, idk yet, going to the doctor again for the first time after the diagnosis and going to run more tests. wish me luck and will update yall again afterwards.

about my mom and her zumbi state, there's a light in the darkness because (dont ask me why or how) we have money to travel and see my family in Portugal next year. its going to make it or break her for good. I truly dont know what I want more. she's not living until I am thirty and I actually dont want it. if it didn't mean I would have more responsibilities, I would want her dead now, for her own good too (I am serious)

[mariii1]

🦋What your future partner/sexual encounter will sound like in bed🦋

18+ Photos from Bjork's mv for pagan poetry

1-2-3

4-5

Am I going crazy? Maybe. Is this the first time in a while I've posted TWO pacs in such a short time period? Yes. Will this continue? Maybe if I keep letting the impulsive thoughts win. Tbh I'm thinking of creating like extended posts you can buy or maybe there's like a poll and it's like a paid general reading??? Anyway it won't be over 3 dollars but it depends on how many of y'all participate so we'll see 🤧

1. Struggle bus. This is a cocky man who's not delivering on the cock if they have one frfr 😕 i feel they may be flashy with their self expression and definitely od with letting you know they came buttttt they're lacking. What could possibly make them so bad is not that they can't read your body like lets bffr nobody can read your mind, but they dont even take their partner's suggestions seriously and think they're all that. Lots of grunting and maybe even yelling but you might feel like you're at a zoo instead of in a bedroom 😭😭

2. DONT PLAY WITH IT DONT PLAY WITH IT COME ON BABY DONT PLAY WIT ITTT Its bussingg, its kinda giving unhinged tiktok comments, when they say out of pocket stuff like "bitch boy whimper" or sum 💀💀 yall relax plz. They're voice sounds like gold or the sounds their body makes are v nice. Like i think half of you are going to be surprised by how much you like how they sound bc they could have a unique voice or sum different. But you're going to rlly like it, the other half if you listen to audio porn or erotic asmr, you already know what to expect. 🤭

3. This will most definitely be with a future long term partner. This is giving the silent killer. They don't say a lot and don't need to. This is I'm not bragging because I know, I don't need to convince you, you feel me? Fuck around and you'll find out 😏 This could be a more reserved person in general, and I don't think they dirty talk because they're always so focused. You might not even hear them breathing, buttt you're going to be focused on not losing your mind in a good way. Honest to god they could hear you in bed all day but this is someone who knows if you're faking it or acting like it feels good when it doesn't. It will be embarrassing mostly for you only if you're not upfront about how you want to be touched 🤭 they could come off as intimidating for a few of you but they just are so focused on making you happy and get off from that; nothing you do will make them dry/limp. Unless you fake or just try to do the most when you really don't need to.

4. So you got the most amount of collaborative cards in heree. I welcome all poly AND/OR orgy fanatics in here. You're moans might actually be in sync, it might sound like a choir or gospel at a certain point 💀💀. Maybe you'll even climax together. Idk i got future partner for a lot of you so I feel like this is very healthy, everybody is pleased, no drama sex. This could also be lazy sex as well that turns into something more but it doesn't get too wild. Y'all might even smoke/drink after and get some delivery food👌

5. Like they sound like how you expect? Kinda like they sound like a grown person, like specifically i was getting how you would think a man would sound. So this person might ask you out after or your on a date and then you have sex after. Its not super set in stone yet like this feels like a very fresh relationship,like 2 min fresh. Anyway, I just think you guys are going to be in sync and whatever your first impression about them is, it's correct just know that.

[safetycar-restart]

Hiiiii lemon here, gonna drop a somnophilia ask in beforehand (and hope it doesnt get lost in the fanmail lmao) if thats alright bc im gonna be travelling around that time and will likely be in no shape to send it in then (its v exciting but its so stressful i swear im going crazy i wont be surprised if i turn into a motherfucking banana before this is over. A banana anon. Abanananan. If this doesnt characterise the chaos my life is rn i dont even know) (oh crap the banana is taken already. Am i a hybrid? Lemonana? Balemon? Banamon? It looks like a banana and then you take a bite and surprise surprise its evil?? I dont know i should get to the ask prbly)

So idk if this is weird actually but i was thinking seb getting to play with you while youre asleep instead of the other way around? 

I mean, he is an early riser and sometimes he would wake up unbearably horny. It starts out as him cuddling up to you, kissing your neck maybe, nuzzling into your shoulder insistently, and he always shakes you awake when he cant wait any longer because he would never do anything without your explicit permission. 

And some morning he shakes you awake, and you swing an arm lazily around his neck and tell him he can go on, so now he is grinding against your hip, and it’s so nice—it’s a steady pace that’s almost lulling, and you’re warm and happy and have your favourite boy here with you who is so cute when he is needy, and it’s not like you were fully alert in the first place, so you start to drift back to sleep. 

He stops and shakes you awake again.

The problem is, you really don’t want to wake up yet.

“What’s the matter, love, do you need something?” you mumble, and he hides his face into your shoulder guiltily, realising he isn’t letting you sleep when you probably want to. But what if you want him to stop or something and you can’t because you’re asleep? You hum and settle more comfortably against the pillows. “Wake me up if you want to come, but not earlier than in half an hour.”

It turns out to be pretty fun—most of the fun being how into it he unexpectedly is. Because you trust him with this? You trust him to be a good boy and do everything right while you’re not watching him, but also trust him with your body so completely? 

He is not allowed to come until you wake up and give him explicit permission, but other things may vary: sometimes you will tell him beforehand that everything is fair game but he cant wake you up before your alarm goes off (otherwise he doesnt get to come for the rest of the day), or that he isn’t allowed to touch you, only help himself. 

Initially the main rule sounds something like “no orgasms while i’m asleep” and he is puzzled by it. Turns out, the question is, should he wake you up if you’re about to come? You don’t think there is much use in this rule, surely you’d wake up if you were that close, but you keep it anyway—and turns out the little shit can be extremely sneaky when he wants to, and not a little bit smug about it, too. So sometimes you wave the rule on yourself. As a treat.

With love, 

Lemon 💜🍋

p s hope everyone is having a fun kinktober the 15th, will look at what yall were up to as soon as i can! 💕✨🥰

Okay so lemon sent this ask a while ago and I have been counting down the days until somno day because this ask is fucking AMAZING. Lemon you are an absolute genius this is incredible.

Also lemon, we need a travel update. I assume you've gone insane, but we need to know the level of insanity. Update us!! We require a debrief.

Okay anyway, back to seb somno!

Before you came along, seb never really woke up horny after he was like 15. But then he gets into a relationship with you and suddenly he's waking up horny all the time? Like his body is aware that he's next to you and knows you'll make him feel good.

And of course, you love waking up to a horny seb, and love being woken up by a horny seb even more. Because the times when Seb wakes you up himself are just the best. He's so painfully hard, whining into your ear and finally shaking you awake because he cant take it anymore.

Being able to grind against you feels so nice. Not just because it's getting some much-needed friction, but also because he feels so warm and safe? He can can cuddle into your side, head resting against your shoulder as he grinds against you.

But then you fall back asleep and seb panics?

I also think it would take seb a minute or two to realise that you've fallen asleep? Because he's just so wrapped up in how good it feels to drag his hips against you in the warmth and comfort of the bed.

And then he looks up at you to get a kiss and realises that you've fallen asleep? Seb panics so much.

Because he doesnt know when you fell asleep. What if he's been grinding against you and you fell asleep basically the moment you said he could?

He feels so bad. He has no idea what to do, but he's also still so hard and not moving his hips against you feels like absolute torture because now he knows how good it feels.

So he shakes you awake, because he figures if he's going to get in trouble, then he should own up to it. That's one of his rules: he must always tell you if he's been bad and if he's honest with you, he'll get a lighter punishment (you have never needed to punish him, but he insists that you have rules for that).

So he shakes you awake, and you're very confused.

"Close to cumming?" you ask him, still half asleep. You assume he's woken you because he needs permission to cum.

"No..." he mumbles, "you fell asleep, and I.. I didn't know so I kept on going."

Now you're even more confused.

"Yes?" you say, "I told you that you could? Seb, why would you think you'd get in trouble for doing something I gave you permission for?"

"Cause you were sleeping," he explains, "you weren't... you didn't know?"

You roll over to face him, cupping his jaw, "You're my good boy. I know that you'll always follow my rules, even when I'm asleep, and I know that you'd never hurt me. So you can grind against me when you wake all hard and achy, yeah? You're a good boy, and good boys get to do that."

Seb cries at your words, shuffling closer and hugging you tight because he cant he gets to have this, cant believe you trust him with something as precious as your body.

From there, he gets more used to it. He understands he's always allowed to grind against you, that he can get pleasure like that for as long as he wants until your alarm goes off. And he knows that when you wake up, you'll always let him cum.

It's actually him that asks about him touching you while you're still sleeping. Cause he wants to make you feel good?

You're open to the idea, and you know he'd never hurt you.

Seb loves it so much! Even more than grinding against you, just settling between your legs and licking you for a little while is the perfect way to start the morning.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Jane Foster’s child

Jane Foster x child!reader

Thor Odinson x Foster!child!reader

warnings:

a/n: no not a foster child, jane foster’s child 😌 also im so super glad you liked those!!! hope these are just as good!!! and im genuinely so sorry these took so long

prompt: anonymous: “Hey! I just read the Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader HC and I loved it! Would you do the same but with Thor and Jane? ❤️”

no babysitter = go to work with mom

dr. selvig gave you a rubik’s cube to keep you entertained

“fuck that! here, y/n, you can play my DS” -darcy

“can you not swear in front of my child?” -jane

you thought tonight would be boring, but then your mom and darcy collectively hit a homeless guy with a car!

“holy crap, we’re all going to jail!” -you

“don’t say ‘crap,’ y/n! we need to get him to a hospital!” -jane

ngl this dude was kinda funky

darcy used her taser and your mom covered your eyes, but you still peaked ;)

ride to the hospital

“don’t touch him, y/n”

“sorry, doc”

and the very next day you guys stole him 💕

“mr. thor, where are you from?”

“i am from asgard! it is much different from this realm, but your’s is adequate, i suppose”

“thanks?”

you could see the way your mom looked at him, though

he ate all the pop tarts >:(

she gave thor her ex boyfriends clothes

“yeah, donald was a real ass—” -you

“don’t say ‘ass.’ darcy curses too much” -jane

“sorry, mom...anyways, donald forgot to pick me up from soccer practice like, a dozen times. he sucked” -you

“this ‘donald’ doesn’t seem like a very good man...also, what is ‘soccer?’” -thor

you grabbed a soccer ball and tried to show him how to play but there was some other stuff the *scientists* had to take care of

you were a regular at izzy’s diner (well, mom was) and they always made you cute pancakes in different shapes!!

“ah, it’s a smiley face! that’s adorable!” -thor

“yeah! they like to surprise me whenever i come in. they’re pretty awesome” -you

*your mom literally beaming at how good thor is with you already*

you and thor were drawing on paper placemats

and then he broke a glass and you started giggling hdhshshs

but he had to leave

“no, thor, please don’t go!”

“i hope to meet you again one day, little one. hopefully fate sees it through”

:((((

no time to be sad bc ur mom’s lab got hijacked by the government

“hey, no fair! that’s my diary!” -you

“sorry, kid. there are constellation drawings we have to observe” -coulson

“aw, you draw constellations? wait, not now. you can’t just take all our stuff. especially that! that belongs to a child!” -jane

“sic ‘em, y/n!” -darcy

“don’t listen to darcy, y/n” -selvig

chilling in the trailer and missing thor bc he was the most interesting thing to happen to you and your mom in a while

and you wanted her to be happy even tho he was kind of crazy

“hey, mom? do you want to watch the stars tonight like we used to do? we could make s’mores?”

“that sounds like a great idea, baby! i’ve gotta go take care of some science stuff, so i’ll pick up some s’mores stuff while i’m out. love you!”

yeah she went to go see thor and he kinda got arrested but your mom came back home so you could watch the stars!

“so, do you like thor?” -you

“what? what makes you say that?” -jane

“it’s cool if you do, i think he’s awesome. a little weird, but at least he’s nice”

then thor and selvig came home and selvig was drunk as a skunk

*poking him while he giggles and tells you about thor*

“i wish your grandfather could have met that guy! he would have loved him...i wish you met your grandfather, too” -selvig

thor inviting you back outside

“i’d like you to teach me more about this ‘soccer’”

by the time you guys were done, it was 3am and you were too pumped to go to sleep

so thor told you stories of his home and battle and family

you didn’t want him to stop, you were fascinated by it all

and uhhhh yeah then earth kinda had some vikings show up

they told you that you’d “make a fine warrior one day”

and then yall got attacked by a ????? a what??? a destroyer???????

“get y/n out of here now! they shouldn’t have to see this!” -thor

you were still nearby and saw thor become thor again

after he was done fighting the destroyer, you ran to give him a hug

“that was awesome! can i hold your hammer?”

“maybe someday, little one”

then you didn’t see him for 2 years

which upset your mom a good bit, you had to help her through that episode. lots of sitting on the couch and eating ice cream together talking about how he wasn’t worth her time even tho you missed him too

but he came back! and then your mom sent everything flying bc she had an “infinity stone” inside her and thor took you two to asgard

“y/n! you’ve grown so much, i almost didn’t recognize you!” -thor

tbh you really digged the outfit they gave you, but also you were on another planet? thor insisted on giving you a tour (by flying you around)

“i do hope you’re having fun, little one!”

worrying about your mom simultaneously bc you overheard she was sick

but asgard got attacked and you and jane were confined to a room in the palace, which sucked because you wanted to see it all

but thor sent guards to bring you anything to keep you entertained

“maybe we’ll skip the mace for now, thank you” -jane

after several events that count as child endangerment, this chapter came to an end and your mom and thor finally made it official

loki called you a rodent and then saved your life so you were kinda iffy about him

about a year or two later, your mom had to travel a great deal in order to get some work done, so you were left in the care of thor, who took you to avengers tower

“oh, my girlfriend’s child is an angel! and they’re so intelligent, just like their mother!” -thor gushing to other partygoers

“yeah, thor, your ‘angel’ is sneaking drinks from the elderly” -tony

*sipping his beer* “they’re a growing teenager”

you did have an amazing time interacting with the avengers

and once they tried grabbing the hammer, you knew you had to get in on it (but you failed like the rest)

“don’t worry, my y/n, you have to be eighteen years of age to be able to lift mjölnir!” -thor

“oh, that makes sense!” -you, while thor aggressively shakes his head at the other avengers. he just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel bad you weren’t worthy yet :(

more child endangerment but really what did you expect?

thor went off world and your mom split it off w him but you did have his email so you were still in contact with him

swearing you saw odin on the street once or twice (fast forward)

and then your mom dusted and thor found you as soon as he possibly could, it was so good to see him

he took you in since you were alone now, you moved to new asgard and became prince(ss) of the new land by relation?? makes sense right

basically you and valkyrie made all the calls while thor grieved for years

but he still took care of you

“y/n, would you like to play video games with me? i think it may be a good bonding experience, what do you say?” -thor

“duh!”

uncle korg made you help him with fortnite while thor was asleep

you wished to wield stormbreaker one day

showing thor earth media! his favorite star wars character is r2-d2 dont ask why

he taught you asgardian recipes and you taught him...earth recipes?

when he was drunk he’d ramble on about his childhood and battle and enemies and jane and loki and hela and frigga and literally anything that came to mind

“y/n, could you please get me a beer? and get one for yourself, too” -thor

valkyrie most definitely gave you some battle training so you you blow off some steam, you were glad she taught you how to fight like a true warrior

thor wanted to teach you battle tactics so you could fight alongside him, but he never got around to it

a raccoon and bruce banner visited later on, proposing a way to get your family back, thor was an emotional wreck

his debriefing on the reality stone was tense when he started crying about your mom and everyone stared at you

“hey, don’t look at me. i don’t control the god, i just keep him company”

ending up waiting 1 second for the avengers to come back from their mission, resulting in you being stuck in the middle of a very heavy battle

“y/n, get out of here!” -thor

“don’t worry, thor! valkyrie taught me a few moves!”

“you make me incredibly proud, little one!”

“i’m not so little anymore, am i?”

“you will always be my little one, y/n. blood or not, that will not change!”

victory, but at what cost? it was a rough ride, you needed to get patched up, but your mom was finally home and thor...he decided it was time to leave earth again

“don’t worry, my y/n. i will see you again.” *tearing up* “i’m so glad i got the pleasure of raising you these past few years. i love you dearly, now go be with your mother”

you straight up wanted to bawl your eyes out right there

“well, y/n, you’re next in line for the throne of new asgard. what is your first command?” -valkyrie

“actually, i think you’d make a much better ruler than me. i’ve got to spend some time with my mother now that she’s home”

“you’re so much like him, you know that?”

staying with your mother, who was diagnosed with cancer not long after returning from the soul stone (a/n: jane getting cancer is canon in the comics and confirmed for thor 4)

“i missed five years of your life and now i’m sick, that’s just our luck, isn’t it?” -jane

she was understandably upset, but she also felt guilty

“mom, don’t beat yourself up. everything is okay, we’re still together right now. i won’t be going anywhere, i promise”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck //

[heyitsyn]

'Siri Am I Having a Stroke?’ Sofia the First

Soulmate!Daichi x Reader Soulmate!Tendou x Reader

a/n: lmao, yall finna know what kind of soulmate au this

when your soulmate gets hurt, you kinda get hurt too

the music your soulmate listens to or constantly sings is always playing in your head

request:  Can I request a daichi, tendou, and aone soulmate au headcanon 🤲🏽😩 they're my faves, I wanted to add some more but there could be a limit? I'll request again next time ^^

a/n: sorry anon but ill only do daichi and tendou bc im not very familiar with aone :( but theres not really a limit so go ahead!!

requests open!!

so anyways

for most of your life, you thought you didnt even have a soulmate

there were no scars, no bruises,

nothing

this other half of yours was completely silent and you really thought that youd die forever

but, you

you were a wild chile and you were the type to go playing outside w your brothers and get a lot of cuts

maybe that was why you thought you didnt have a soulmate bc when your soulmate does get hurt, you wouldnt see it since youd think it was one of your own

now, daichi

he worried for you

new scars and bruises would appear on his arms overnight and he fussed over the fact that you would constantly getting hurt

were you in a toxic environment?

were these intentional?

but he would try and heal them, thinking that it would heal you too bc he didnt want you to be hurt

uwu daichi luv

he would even kiss them better bc his mom told him that kisses help them heal faster

then,

during middle school, daichi found his love for volleyball

he started training and being more active and that caused him a lot of bruises and pain

meanwhile w you,

youve mellowed out a bit

so when you entered middle school,

you were actually ecstatic to find that you had a soulmate bc you would find bruises on your hands and arms

you found out the afternoon of the first day of middle school

daichi was in the gym, practicing during lunch, and he hit a spike that bruised his fingers and he received a really powerful ball

you were sitting in class, completely bored out of your mind so you just doodled on your paper

then you flinched at the sudden pain and saw the formation of the beautiful mix of blue, purple,green, bruise

yall are in different schools btw

you shrieked and stood up, cutting off your teacher and surprising everyone in the room

‘my soulmate!’

they were like, ‘okay and?’

the entire day, you admired the colors, not even minding the hurt bc this was it!!

!!!!

your soulmate was real!!!

but daichi was worried that you were also going through the same pain and soreness from practice

and you were

after the shock and happiness of knowing you in fact do have a soulmate,

youve started getting annoyed

was this what he felt whenever you injured yourself during your younger years?

bc this waas annoying

you were constantly fatigued, tired, sore

even the mere action of getting up in the morning sucked and you actually fell down the stairs due to the soreness of your legs and you dropped your chopsticks due to the hurt in your fingers

youve concluded that your soulmate was either an athlete or in a toxic environment

during the walk to school, you raised your arms and watched a new bruise forming

it was a truly beautiful sight but the stiffness and hurt weighed it down

this was your only form of communication with your soulmate and you were sad bc you wanted to be there for him and help heal his bruises and scars

one of your friends suggested a crazy thought of hurting yourself to write a small message which you instantly turned down bc thats too crazy and you will not do that

as the years went on, you were starting to get more worried each day that you wont be meeting your soulmate soon

for almost 6 years, youve wandered over to every athletic club in your school or nearby schools to find if there was even a person who had the same bruises as you

ngl, some lied just bc they wanted you as their soulmate uwu

one of your classmates in seijoh, iwaizumi hajime, has understood your dilemma since he was one of the ones youve expressed this concern to

youve been classmates for 3 years and youve always been coincidentally sat next to each other so youre close

i really cant resist my mans

‘y/n, i really think your soulmate is a volleyball player’

you rolled your eyes as you continued taking out your bento

‘iwa, ive checked your team, multiple times, and none of them are my soulmate! ive even checked other schools too since my brothers have connections there. but still nothing’

he felt bad for you, truly

he already found his when yall started high school, almost immediately, and you were so jealous

‘but those bruises on your arm can only be from volleyball. the way its placed, its like receiving an intense ball while the fingers might be because he spikes the ball’

you sighed before leaning your chin on your hand

‘okay, great buddha iwa-chan. enlighten me as to why you think so’

his eye twitched at the ridiculous nickname

‘y/n, im a volleyball player. ive been playing since i was like 6 and im the ace. i have those same exact bruises’

‘WHAT! IWA-CHAN ARE YOU MY SOULMATE?!’

‘YOU IDIOT I ALREADY HAVE MINE!’

but you mulled it over for a few days

yea, it would make sense, right?

but it still doesnt add up that youve literally visited every single club around with the help of being iwa’s friend and going to their matches

however,

due to karasuno not having practice matches w seijoh or not advancing far enough to play against them, youve never really interacted with that team

besides, the times they actually played against each other, youve been busy due to having to do interships, part time jobs, and studying since it was your last year of high school

it was during the second interhigh that iwa finally got you to go watch them play

‘come on, y/n. shittykawa misses you and matsun and maki keep demanding your support’

‘iwa, what-’

so you found yourself at the stands, just watching the games until seijoh actually plays

then you saw the team, known as karasuno, enter the gym to start their warm-ups

your heart started beating really fast and you were kinda freaking out bc what was happening

‘siri am i having a stroke?’

daichi was feeling the same thing

he thought it was just the adrenaline of playing a game but in all of his years of play8ing volleyball, he hasnt felt this intense beating of his heart

he even had to lean on suga for support bc it felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest

‘daichi, you okay?’

suga worriedly asked and placed a hand on his forehead to check his temp

daisuga rights yall

he didnt want to worry the team so he nodded, just waving it off

he was captain so he shouldnt worry the others

oikawa and iwa entered the stands and were confused as to why you were looking around with wide eyes like an owl

fukurodani vibes

‘y/n-chan, what’s wrong?’

oikawa asked and you looked at them, surprised and shocked

they were lowkey freaked out bc what was happening

‘oikawa-san, my heart-’

you mumbled and pointed to your chest

his smile wobbled bc you just started at him and it was starting to scare him a bit

since oikawa hasnt found his soulmate yet, he wasnt familiar with the feeling of being in the same vicinity as his other half

but iwa did

and he was smiling

‘you owe me so much, y/n’

‘IWA! I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO DIE!’

karasuno was going against johzenji and daichi wasnt exactly in his best game

to others, he looked like he was doing great but he wasnt feeling good and the beat of his heart was still very fast

this distraction caused him and tanaka to collide and everything went to hell

the entire time, your arms were crying and you were just sweating from the pain but you were also sweating w the possibility of your soulmate being either in johzenji or karasuno

but that was answered when daichi got hurt and you just collapsed, also falling unconscious

iwa, who returned from getting drinks, ran to your slumped form and oikawa, who was focused on the match and didnt notice, shrieked at your unconscious form

‘y/n? y/n, wake up’

everyone in the stands stared at your unconscious form and they started talking, eventually catching the attention of the karasuno team

suga, who was fussing over daichi, heard that a girl also fell unconscious

omg what if

oikawa was grinning at the sight of your bruised cheek bc you finally found your soulmate so you would shut up about it

iwa carried you to the nurse and you actually woke up as he placed you on the bed, conviently beside the karasuno captain

‘w-what-’

but he only smiled

‘congratulations, y/n’

bih what

congratulations for what

the nurse went over from beside daichi and she giggled at the meeting of soulmates

you sat up, wincing at the pain in your tooth

‘ow’

that caught daichi’s attention and he stared at you and your arms before looking at his

they were the exact same

‘i think,,,, i think we’re soulmates’

that made you quickly look at him and noticed the big bruise on his face that was like copy paste on you

‘oh god!’

you cowered and had your hands over your mouth in surprise

he froze, starting to feel insecure that he wasnt what you wanted

‘is something wrong-’

‘you’re HOT!!’

you shrieked unconsciously and when you finally realized it, you hurriedly pulled the blanket over your form

lmao gurl noooooo

daichi started laughing and he thought you were cute

straightforward

but cute

‘oi, come on. i want to see your pretty face’

yes police officer. this is the man who stole my uwus

you peaked your head out from your blanket cocoon and he smiled softly

‘i’m sawamura daichi, by the way. 3rd year’

‘l-l/n y/n. same y-year’

‘so? you expected me to be this?’

you shook your head

‘i mean, iwa told me you could be a volleyball player. but i didnt expect the universe to like me enough to give me a greek god as my soulmate’

im disowning y/n yall

he turned flustered and looked away to hide his blush

‘youre not too bad yourself, you know. youre actually more beautiful than i thought’

‘sir! dont say that to me i be catching feelings way too fast for that!’

i-i cannot w you

he laughed out loud before wincing, causing you to wince too

‘but are you okay, though? i mean,, it must hurt’

but you shook your head

‘i should be asking you that. does it hurt as much as it looks?’

‘nah, its bearable’

you continued talking about your childhood and you actually clarified that you were just rambunctious when you were younger so you got hurt pretty often

‘i really thought you needed to be saved or something’

you smirked

‘oh? my prince charming? knight-in-shining-armor? knight prince daichi?’

he stared at you, a blush creeping up again

‘are you always this bold?’

you shrugged

‘meh. im friends w oikawa tooru’

‘oh. makes sense’

lmao

you both completely forgot about the fact that his face literally got hurt and his tooth was gone bc you have been talking like two best friends who got separated

but you had to separate at some point too

the beautiful manager entered the clinic and asked if daichi was okay enough

‘yea, im fine. i can go now, i guess’

you nodded sadly

‘okay. bye, daichi’

he furrowed his eyebrows

‘but wait for me later, okay? ill treat you to something after i win this match’

from your bed, you crossed your arm with a smug smile

‘oh? youre confident, captain’

‘of course. ill win bc this victory is for you’

you bashfully smiled and chuckled

‘go hurry and win! i expect that date as soon as possible, captain!’

the deadchi memes are literally scaring the new fans and i feel really bad

bruh hes so cute for what

for his entire life, he had the sofia the first song stuck in his head

it was maybe bc his soulmate was in love w that show or just in love w the song

but either way, he constantly hears it and thinks about it

meanwhile you,

you constantly heard bye bye bye by nsync

of all things, it had to be a boy band

however, you were lucky bc for years it varied on what song would be playing

but for him, it continued to be sofia the first

this drived him to watch the show and he did see the appeal and soon, he started singing it too

omg its such a bop

you were triggered bc the song then switched over to sofia the first and you were like, ‘does he like it too?’

you would be going around the store, holding your mom’s hand, and singing it out loud, hoping to find your soulmate

but he never seemed to hear it

instead, hearing the song in your voice, instead of the show’s

he thought you had such a beautiful voice

then in elementary school, his bullying started and ngl, he was actually hurt by the words other kids said

he still had his cute smile on and acted like it didnt bother by teasing others but he was still sad

did nobody like him?

was he always going to look like a monster?

would you be revolted if you saw him?

then he heard this song in the radio ‘dear insecurity’ and he just couldnt help but keep listening to it

ofc you noticed and you were sad that he was listening to such sad song

he was insecure and you couldnt do anything about it

then you started looking up motivating songs and you started singing the one that you really liked

‘i see your monsters, i see your pain, tell me your problems, i’ll chase them away’

he heard your voice as he was hiding behind the school building and his tears instantly stopped, hearing a different song but he couldnt help but smile

he knew that song was for him

you were out there somewhere and a complete stranger to him but you were the only person who seemed to care

because under that teasing and cheerful personality, he was still human and he was very insecure about himself

but you were always there to encourage him, your voice instantly chasing all the fears away

when he started playing volleyball, he became famous for his efficient blocks and you could hear him singing different songs, all of them just under a minute

you concluded that they were his own songs

sometimes, you laughed bc they were funny songs and catchy so you would memorize it and sing it back to him

this was your only way of communicating back of forth and you were so lucky that you even got to hear your soulmate’s voice

then high school started, meaning your friends started meeting their soulmates one by one until you were the only one who didnt

your school, karasuno, had no one that had the same voice as your soulmate’s

some people even saw you as an extrovert and a people person since you started conversations with strangers easily but this was just your way of finding your other half

with no luck, you started singing your concerns

in no time, ‘thousand miles’ was playing on loop in tendou’s head and he was already feeling your antsy attitude

in retaliation, he starts singing ‘lucky’ by jason mraz and you always turned red, slightly happy that he was practically calling out to you

so even though you suffered through years being alone, you didnt give up on hope and continued your search

now, youd be asking, ‘why cant you or tendou just sing each other’s location?’

yes, young grasshopper, there is an explanation to that

you and tendou collectively agreed to let fate do its work and just wait for the time it happens bc if its meant to be, its meant to be

besides, tendou likes to tease you and he wants to make you wait for him so that the moment you do meet, it would become more special

in your last year of high school, you ended up helping kiyoko in being manager and you were so proud of these boys for making it to the finals

you were excitedly waving an orange flag in support of your team and you screamed with the others as they entered the court

you and yacchi ended up helping tanaka’s sister, saeko, and was setting up the plan for their cheers so you werent exactly focused on your soulmate

but tendou did keep hearing a fight song in your head

then they walked in

shiratorizawa made their presence known and you turned to look at them but locked eyes at the unique looking player

his red hair glinted against the bright lights of the gym and his smirk curled in such an attractive way that you were leaning forward to get a closer look

tendou noticed a stare at him and he saw your surprised yet flustered look

that eye contact made everything fall deaf in your ears and you just heard silence

no song, no cheer, just absolute silence

but you and tendou are practically the same so you thought for the worse that your soulmate has died bc of the silence

dread filled your stomach and you started singing sofia the first in instinct

your mouth moved with the words and you shut your eyes, trying to calm yourself down

his jaw dropped, hearing the familiar voice and song that correlated with your mouth’s movements

‘there you are, little birdie’

semi turned to tendou and saw him with a smile hes never seen before

it was so soft and genuine that he got a little scared

the entire game, you were all depressed bc it continued to be silent in your head

tendou was just teasing you a little bit and he didnt want to think or sing a song bc he wanted it to be a special cliche reunion after he crushes your team

but his famous song ruined it

it blared in your head and it got 2x bass boosted when he sang it out loud, completely disregarding the fact that everyone was listening

‘you!’

you shrieked and pointed to him

he was your soulmate

and he was alive

not dead

everyone, including all players, looked at confusion between you and him but he just waved at you

‘ill talk to you later, little birdie!’

great, he embarrassed you in front of everyone

but you didnt care bc omg he was your soulmate!!

‘omg universe and fate, you actually like me to give me such a handsome soulmate!’

now, youre actually cheering on both teams

one was your home school the other was your soulmate

however,

there could only be one winner

and that winner was karasuno

you noticed the defeated looks of your soulmate and his teammates and you almost bursted into tears

you quickly maneuvered yourself through the people and found the familiar spiky hair standing at the doorway, looking at the gym with a forlorn expression

the others noticed you there, especially ushijima who gave you a nod and a small smile

‘i trust you’ll take care of him’

you nodded shakily, raising a hand in salute

‘y-yes!’

you approached him and his teary eyes almost made you bolt into his arms but you calmed yourself

instead, you didnt say anything

but you did sing

‘come stop your crying, it will be alright. just take my hand, and hold it tight. i will protect you, from all around you. i will be here, dont you cry.’

tendou looked to his side and saw you there, not looking at him but also looking at the same direction he was previously

‘my name is tendou satori’

despite already hearing his voice, you still turned red and you looked at him, warmth and love present in your eyes

‘and i’m l/n y/n’

‘you have a beautiful voice’

‘and you are beautiful’

that ending for shiratorizawa physically and emotionally and mentally broke me