#dont wanna forget to bring anything but like tomorrow im only going in a very light cos

[basslinegrave]

con tomorrow doesnt feel real... i was a bit excited but now i feel nothing again its so weird like i can imagine just walking up there in the cold morning and getting thru the ticket lines and then be like ok now what. could get coffee there to kill time but i kinda wanna drink some at home hm

guess its better to go in with low or no expectations so that i get to have at least a bit of fun its just lame going alone and relying on meeting someone there 😭

hope that at least the weather is nice and that i dont boil alive in the rabbit mask

[minahoeshi]

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

--

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s son (Part 2)

Tony Stark x son!reader

warnings:

a/n: had to split it into 2 parts bc i hit the text limit dhshaggags

prompt: continued

part 1

~sokovia was ur first big mission~

“why is y/n here, stark?” -cap

“the first mistake was letting me become a father”

“good god, tony...”

you having the time of your life crushing robots

“WHEEEEEE”

also proving useful by saving avengers a handful of times

“thanks for the assist, stark clone” -clint

rip pietro

rhodey was actually the most worried about you if we’re being honest, he didn’t understand why they let you in this one???

“y/n? y/n, talk to me! are you alive?”

“yes, uncle rhodey! i’m perfect, stop worrying!”

“i love you, kid! be safe!”

✨a good family you’ve got✨

soon the avengers broke up bc your dad cant get along with steve and it was just really awkward

but you chose your dad’s side

“sorry, steve! he pays my allowance!”

peter was actually a little okay, you know!! spazzy at first, but he was cool

“dude, you’re y/n stark! you’re tony stark’s very own son! i’m talking to mr. stark’s only child!”

“yep, that’s me. i’m what earned tony the title of ‘DILF’”

teenage teamup? ofc

“am i doing alright?”

“looking a-okay, pete!”

tony was worried fighting steve would traumatize you so he made you wait at the hotel with happy and peter

“don’t do anything to embarrass me, y/n. i dont want to see you on the news for something stupid”

you and peter ended up hanging out in your room and watching tv and ordering room service

“how do you do that so smoothly? i’d just freak out and go get it myself”

“years of experience as a spoiled rich brat”

absolutely positively being up all night and trying to fight your exhaustion

“you two seem to be getting along well. couldn’t be me” -happy

“for someone named happy, you never seem to be happy”

“not around teenagers, no”

“i remember when you loved me, ‘uncle happy’”

peter texted you every day after that

whenever flash picked on peter for “never meeting tony stark” he’d show a picture of you and him taking selfies in the lab together yes you invite him over much to the dismay of everyone else around you

plus tony was out of town and you were finally trusted enough to be left alone unchecked so like, happy would just leave at the first sign of peter

“that’s not real!”

“jealous?”

you actually showed up for homecoming on a dare (but in disguise)

didn’t wanna attract all the attention, you just wanted a high school experience

but you got called into avengers tower to help move early on :/ bad timing too cuz peter had to fight his first villain and u missed it

“dude, how do you feel?”

“bruh sound effect number two”

“oh my god”

FRIDAY heard him and pulled up the sound and you were WEAK you couldn’t stop laughing

“please....i think i broke a few ribs. cant laugh until tomorrow”

tony offered peter the avengers gig and peter said no, you were very disappointed but u understood that not everyone wanted to be in the spotlight like that

but you and peter obviously still hung out

oh, tony proposed! they interviewed you on sight!

“y/n, how does it feel to know that you’re going to have a stepmom soon?”

“you guys are aware that pepper helped raise me, right? right?!”

moving on, life was smooth for a while, there was some wedding planning, talk of you being a best man (which rhodey fought you on)

“no, i’ve known your dad longer!”

“i’m his son!”

i n v a s i o n

oh boy that was rough

bruce was surprised that you had fucking grown so much in the past 3 years good lord

“y/n...your VOICE”

“puberty, i know. when’s it gonna happen to you?”

“it hurts more when it’s from a teenager”

“uh, did you forget my birthday?”

peter’s back! peter’s back!

finally, man

“spider-kid, i could use an assist!”

“on the way!”

“aliens, why did it have to be aliens?”

up up and away for tony and peter, leaving you on the ground with all the earthly chaos and fear

“you two are the absolute worst, you know that? DAD, PETER, GET BACK DOWN HERE”

“no can do, kid. i—” *cuts off*

“oh great, no service on the space donut, huh? find a damn wifi password and call me back you asshole”

pepper was probably having a heart attack bc the news stations were having a field day but you were one of the only active avengers left, meaning you had to help clean this up

“bruce, we gotta get going”

“what? where?”

“upstate”

patching up the avengers as best as you could to take care of the threat

but you guys always win, this should be a cake walk, right?

wrong.

this was bad, very bad

after a lengthy battle with thanos in wakanda, you had failed. thanos got the stones, he snapped. the world was in ruins. but you didn’t get to see that part

you dusted away

“tell dad i’m sorry and i love him”

tony finally came back to earth hoping to see you, but upon seeing pepper’s face, he knew you were gone

“he did everything he could, tony! he didn’t deserve it!”

she was extremely upset, she saw you like a son of her own

soon, her and tony restarted their life and had a daughter, dad always wondered what it’d be like to have a little girl. it was different, it really was

she was eager to meet you

morgan stole pictures of you to hang up in her room

“when i meet y/n, im gonna give him a big hug! then we’ll have a tea party!”

tony has a picture of you and peter in the kitchen, he misses the two of you, but found comfort in the fact that you may be with each other

an ounce of hope, he had to try something

save his only son, and his other son

when he got to 2012, he was disappointed that he hadn’t let you become an avenger yet because he couldn’t see you here

yada yada he fucked up now he’s in the 70s and he fixed the fuck up and now hes in 2023

and bruce snapped

and you were all brought back and the way you kicked ass was inspiring

tony had to see his son now. right now.

“y/n, dear god! you’re okay! oh, man. i love you so much, kid. i missed you”

“i love you too. and i can’t believe you went to space without me, meanie”

“get over it”

ah, back to old times

peter and you obviously had to team up for this one! come on, what a story to tell!

and then, a snap and the warriors began to fade. you turned around and saw him on his knees

“no...”

you rushed over to where peter already was and tried to hold back tears, to be strong for him

“hey, dad. i’m here. no more missed goodbyes, okay? i’m here.”

you sat beside him and held his hand while the rest of your family made their peace with him and he finally slipped away

“y/n...are you okay?” -peter

“not even a little”

peter was worried about you, but you were worried about peter

mutual worry

meeting morgan was...surprising

pepper forgot to tell you they had a daughter while you were gone

she was so sweet and for the first month you lived at the cabin, she slept in your room

you got NO space

“i love you y/n”

“love you too” *thinking about dad bc she just reminds you of him so much*

“i love you y/n”

“love you too, morgan”

over and over

peter and you had sleepovers a lot, usually at his house bc you were the only one besides ned allowed over bc of all the spider-stuff

ned fanboyed over you

also sleepovers at peter’s were a nice break from being at tony’s cabin where you were constantly reminded that he wasn’t there

“y/n, i’m going to europe for a field trip! it’s gonna be awesome!”

“dude, you’re gonna love it. are you bringing your suit?”

“no, this is my offical vacation. no spider-manning”

“good for you, man!”

peter sent you all the pictures he took on his phone

all of them

Peter-Man: And this one is me and Ned in our crappy hotel room. And here’s the river. And here’s MJ covered in birds, and here’s the airplane, Mr. Harrington fell asleep on me

you had to come to europe once you heard what was going on

happy and you picked up peter and he was a mess

“you gave away dad’s glasses?”

“i think we’re past the point that i am not smart”

“jesus, peter. you should have called me about them. i would have taken them off your hands if you weren’t ready for them”

having to make sure that you guys didn’t get hurt bc this was honestly your guy’s first solo pair-up

there wasnt much backup here

finally, you defeated the evil (who apparently held a very large grudge against you. sorry mister beck) and were able to go back home

“call me if you need anything, pete”

“i will. i promise.”

and the next thing you know...peter’s identity was exposed

“i left him alone for one day!”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //

[simpsiren]

late at night

mark lee x reader

“you make times like these a whole lot better.”

main masterlist

description. you were drinking after you had a breakup for the 16th time and you felt the need to meet your best friend, mark at 3am

genre. ITS ALL JUST FLUFF!! confession au

warnings. nonee

a/n. this is not going to be long but i just liked the thought this scenario was hella cute so hope yall will enjoy! :D

you have been drinking since 1am. you wanted to escape from the fact that you need to handle yet another heartbreak after being dumped at a high class restaurant. drinking was the only thing you did whenever you had a breakup. you constantly get in and out of relationships, sixteen relationships to be exact. you sort of just hopped from guy to guy, developing deep feelings for them and having to suffer later.

you know very well you’re stupid, but also not. despite going through all the heartbreaks, you would still go ahead and find a new guy. and you kept the real reason for that hidden. not even mark knows the truth to your stupidity.

you were laying your head on the table as you stuff handfuls of popcorn into your mouth while watching some movie you dont even know the summary of. you groan from boredom as you pick up your phone. a quick glance at it tells you that its now 2:27am. you start to wonder what are you even doing at this hour.

you start to feel lonely all of a sudden. you wanted to talk to someone. anyone. and the first person that comes to your mind is your best friend of 10 years, mark. he’s been with you to accompany you through every heartbreak you have. no matter the time, he’ll come rushing over to you. this time is no different.

you unlock your phone lazily and give mark a call, waiting for him to pick up. it only took 2 rings to hear mark’s voice at the other end of the line.

“why are you up this late? dont tell me you suddenly want to do a movie marathon of harry potter again.” you hear mark say.

“emergency ice cream date..?” you whisper, closing your eyes to rest them for a moment. earning a sigh from mark, you could tell that mark knows you’re drunk. and he knows why too.

“dont move. im coming over.” with that, mark ends the call. you place your phone faced down and stared at the television, quickly turning your attention to other things in the house as you wait for mark to arrive.

“you never should have dated him.” you take another spoonful from the huge tub of strawberry ice cream, hugging it close to you as you hear mark talking.

“i just found him cool.” you simply reply. mark reaches over to you. you hold the ice cream out to mark, waiting for him to take some. he gladly accepts the offer and eat a spoon of ice cream. “your standards are just low.” mark comments.

mark grabs the tv controller and open the tv. the first thing that came on screen is a re-run of a table tennis match. you whine and smack mark’s arm, making him flinch back slightly. “i dont wanna watch sports, mark!”

“harry potter, then?” mark raises both hus eyebrows as he patiently waits for your answer. you nod.

mark nods back at you and proceeds to open the first harry potter movie, eating a spoon of ice cream in the process.

as the movie starts, mark snatches the tub of ice cream away from you and place it on it lab. you glance down at the tub before looking up to you. you frown. “hey im the one that bought this ice cream, love.” mark flases his bright smile. you couldn’t help but smile softly back, noticing how cute he looked.

mark tilts his head when he saw your frown. he purse his lip into a thin line, giving in and wanting to give the tub back to you. before you could grab it, he moves the tub backwards, making you whine again. he lets out his signature obnoxious laughter while you furrow your eyebrows.

“calm down. here, open your mouth.” mark brings his spoon up to your lips. you blink at mark a couple times before mark nods his head to signal you to open your mouth so that he could feed you.

you slowly move your body closer to mark. “keep feeding me.” you pout and bat your eyelashes. mark runs his hand through his hair before taking another spoon of ice cream for you to eat.

the two of you watch the movie silently as mark constantly feeds you spoons of ice cream till the tub is now empty. you take the spoon from mark’s hand and play with it, moving it around in the empty tub. “thank you for coming.”

you lay your head on mark’s shoulder. somehow your face starts to heat up at how close you are to mark. you were especially cuddly tonight. it felt like you needed mark for physical touch. mark brings his hand up slowly to your hair, stroking it as he lets out a sigh.

“if i see you with someone else in one week i sweat i wont be your friend anymore.” you quickly look up at mark with scared eyes. “dont ever leave me.” your lips turn into a frown. “i have my reasons for doing this..” you mumble under your breath. you notice mark raising an eyebrow.

“what’s the reason?”

“i cant say.”

“why?”

“you’ll leave me because of it.” mark grows silent. you see him looking at you, eyes soft as ever. and his touch was gentle too. “you make times like these a whole lot better.” you comment out of the blue.

mark suddenly stops stroking your hair and brings his hand down to your cheek to make you look at him. you see his eyes glaze through your face, as if observing and admiring every inch of it. “its because i’ve never left your side. now tell me why you keep throwing your heart around meaninglessly as though you dont give a fuck.”

mark’s eyes grow dark and stale, his tone got lower from his usual bright and happy high pitched voice. you gulped and glance to the side before opening your mouth. “i wanted to hide my feelings for you, or forget them. something like that.” you see mark’s reaction but you were confused. his face had no reaction. you wonder what is going through his mind.

mark uses his free hand to put the tub on the coffee table, maintaining eye contact with you. he then pulls you in by the waist in one swift motion. you were taken aback. “your ears are turning red. you’re feeling nervous, huh?” your mouth gapes open slightly as your hand reaches up to touch your ear.

“you thought dating guys and getting heartbroken so that i can comfort you is the only way you can get close to me?”

“it’s because you’re my friend. i didn’t want to lose you.”

mark doesn’t say anything for a moment. “are you still drunk?” you nod your head slowly. mark tightens his grip around your waist, only pulling you closer till your chests’ were touching. your hands are unknowingly placed above his chest as your face continues to blush a light pink from being nervous.

mark leans towards your face. so close his nose is touching yours. “you know well im better than any guy you’ve dated. you should’ve told me.” mark whispers before connecting his lips with yours and bringing you in for a kiss. you kiss back immediately. his lips were soft and gentle against yours. despite your lips being chapped and rough, mark kisses it with full passion. you hands move to his neck as the kiss gets deeper. but mark pulls away quickly, maing you frown slightly.

“i hope you’ll remember tonight and confess to me.” you see mark closing his eyes, his arms still wrap around you closely. you look up, admiring his face greatly. you felt peace and calmness as you watch him in a calm state. your finger unconsciously goes up to his lips and moves it over them slowly. it only made mark wake up. you knew he was a light sleeper anyways.

“what’s that for? thinking of kissing me again?” you kept silent, but the two of you knew the answer to that all too well. mark immediately pulls you in for another kiss. it was sweet and gentle, with a hint of hunger in it. it was slow yet grew heated very fast. you reciprocated it back almost instantly.

“be mine tomorrow. tell me you like me tomorrow.” you felt as though you weren’t drunk anymore. your mind suddenly thinks straight when you hear mark say that. you smile softly, nodding your head. “i need to be mentally prepared before i could say that to you.”

“that’s why im giving you till tomorrow.”

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 4

The next morning i was up and ready to go by 6:30am after only a few hours sleep! Frank was insatiable last night and now I was exhausted! Maybe id be able to sleep in the car on the way to Vermont.

"Okay i'm gonna go" Frank said wrapping his arms around my waist from behind and kissing my neck as i started to pull out a couple of travel mugs to make some coffee.

"Mmm okay" i mumbled leaning back against him.

"Can i call you or are you off limits til you get back?"

"You can call, text. I'll answer when i can"

"Good"

"You'll probably forget all about me while im gone" i chuckled. His arms tightened around me and i felt him shake his head.

"Not gonna happen sweetheart"

"We'll see" i turned in his arms and kissed him properly before playfully pushing him towards the door.

"Okay i'm going" he laughed catching my lips one more time "i'll call you later, have a safe journey".

"Bye Frank".

Once Frank had left i double checked i had everything and carried on making the two cups of coffee to go.

Andy: Im outside :)

Y/N: on my way.

As i approached Andy's car he got out and greeted me with a smile taking my bag and putting it in the trunk next to his. I couldn't help but notice he was dressed more casual today, wearing black jeans and black Henley.... he looked good! Andy ALWAYS looked good but there was something about seeing this more relaxed side to him that made me smile.

"I made you some coffee for the journey" i held out the cup to him shaking my head slightly to clear it of thinking about how good my boss looked!

"Oh my god you must have read my mind" he smiled and accepted the cup before we both got in the car.

I spent the first half hour of the journey covering my mouth as i yawned, Andy had caught it a few times but didn't say anything which i was grateful for! When we finally arrived at the hotel he grabbed both our bags from the car insisting that he carry mine.

"Do you wanna sit down and wait with the bags and i'll go check in and grab the room keys?" He turned to me and asked pointing to the sofa's in the corner.

"Yeah sure" i nodded quickly with a smile. Once i was alone i took the chance to check my phone, i had felt it vibrating a while ago but didnt want to check it in-front of Andy.

Frank: Hows the journey?

Having fun?

Y/N: Journey was fine, i spent most of it trying to stay awake because SOMEONE kept me up all night lol

Frank: Didnt hear u complaining last night babe 😈

Y/N: im not stupid thats why! 😂

Y/N: i gotta go, just checking in. I'll text when im in the room x

Andy walked towards me looking a bit sheepish and scratching his beard.

"All sorted?" I asked as i stood up.

"Kinda, there's been a mix up with the bookings and they only have my room. I tried to book another one but their fully booked because of some event"

"Oh"

"They can bring a cot up to my room though, you can have the bed"

"Okay, i guess theres not much more we can do" i shrugged, i could hardly insist on going home just because we had to share a room! We were both adults for christ sake. Taking both bags again Andy led the way to the elevators and hit the button for the 8th floor.

"Im so sorry about this Y/N they must have double booked us somehow. I feel awful" he sighed before dropping his head down and slowly shaking it.

"Its fine Andy, i mean we wont even be at the room much. Its just somewhere to get a few hours sleep"

"Yeah i guess your right, i'll buy you dinner tonight to apologise"

"Hate to break it to you boss but you were already paying for dinner" i chuckled as the doors opened and i stepped out the elevator "what room is it?"

"Um.....815"

I took the keycard from Andy and quickly located the room.

"You in a rush?" He laughed from behind me.

"Sorry i really need to pee" i replied stepping into the room with a quiet "wow!" the room was huge and obviously very expensive....It was more like a suite!

Of course he'd have one of the fancier rooms.

After i was finished in the bathroom i pulled my cell from my pocket and pulled up my messages with Frank.

Y/N: Hey, you'll never believe what happened??!

Frank: Hey sweetheart. What happened?

Y/N: The hotel double booked us so there's only one room!

Now i have to stay with Andy!

Frank: ur right, i dont believe it! He so obviously planned this to happen!

Y/N: Its a bit odd i have to admit, but their fully booked for an event in town. Its fine though their bringing a cot up to the room, Andy said he'll sleep there and i can have the bedroom

Frank: Make sure u lock ur door!

Y/N: Very funny! Lol

Frank: Im serious! Lol

U need me to come rescue u??

Y/N:  No i'm good lol i gotta work.

"You okay in there?" Andy suddenly called from outside and then i realised how long id been in the bathroom!

"Yeah!" I called back tucking my phone back in my pocket and opening the door, Andy looked over at me smiling.

"I thought maybe you fell in or something"

I shook my head laughing "No, i was just texting a friend and got distracted".

Andy nodded with a tight lipped smile on his face as if he wanted to say something but thought better of it.

"I eh, i left your bag in the bedroom" he said pointing towards the bedroom.

"Thanks"

"Im just gonna call my friend and find out where to meet then we can get on with what needs doing"

"Okay, i'll check the emails while you do that make sure nothing urgent has come up back home"

"Great".

We had been waiting down in the hotel bar for Andy's friend Paul to arrive for over an hour now and there was no sign of him. Andy was getting more and more agitated as the time passed. He finally grabbed his phone and excused himself, i watched as he stormed outside and made a call, pacing up and down past the window shaking his head....10 minutes later he came strutting back in and sat on the barstool next to me.

"everything okay?"

"His not coming" Andy shook his head "he said he got called to an important meeting and now cant meet me until tomorrow morning!"

"Oh..."

"Such a bullshitter! His probably with some woman" he moaned "put all that away Y/N" Andy nodded to my laptop and notebook that i had out.

"We done for the day?"

"Yeah fuck it, how about we go back to the room and get changed into some comfier clothes then dinner and a few drinks?"

"Sure, sounds good boss, lets go" i smiled as i quickly tucked the laptop and notebook away in my bag....I couldn't wait to get into my comfy clothes and get something to eat.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama

[selfcareparker]

LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼���🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

[scottfuckingreed]

No - Montgomery De La Cruz

-

ANONYMOUS SAID: “can u write a Monty imagine where the reader is friends with all the boys like Jeff, Justin and them & she is warning Montgomery about Bryce after a comment he makes? xxx’

-

Warnings!: Swearing, sexual talk and Bryce being Bryce (yuck)

-

Summary: although it is unknown to their friends, you and Monty are in a committed relationship. Things take a turn when you and Bryce are left alone at his house

-

“You’re such a dickhead!” Jeff shouts towards Justin and throws a chip at him over the table. This kind of sums up most of our lunches. It’s a routine almost. We sit in the exact same places, talk about pretty much the same things, and act the way we always do. It’s only ever subtle changes that happen. A hand lands on the patch of bare skin just above my thigh, but I don’t even flinch. No one can see it. Monty and I are very low key. It’s better this way. I know he’s mine, and he knows that if he looks anywhere else I’ll cut his dick off. So we’re VERY much on the same page about everything. No one else has to know, just as long as we do.

I drive myself to Bryce’s house for a typical hand out with the usuals. I see them all sprawled out across his room, smoking all the shit in the bong. Everyone has their eyes fixed on the game going on the tv between Zach and Justin. It may sound boring, but the shit - and it is utter shit - that comes out of these boys when they’re playing is too funny to miss. I lay eyes on Monty. I’d love to go and cuddle with him OBVIOUSLY but that can’t happen. I don’t know why it can’t, but I know it can’t. We lock eyes. It feels like minutes before we look away, but I know it’s only a split second before he blinks away. “I’m getting a drink, anyone want one?” He asks as he pushes himself out of the bright blue bean bag. Almost half the boys say ‘ah yeah’, which is perfect for me really. “Jesus Christ guys I’m not a fucking God y’know!” I grunts at the response. I mean... I personally disagree but I’d never tell him that. “I’ll help you,” I laugh.

We get to Bryce’s kitchen, and I get lifted onto the counter almost instantly. Our lips connect and I pull him as close to me as I possibly can. My legs wrap fully around him. I imagine they look pretzel shaped if you looked from behind. Unfortunately his kitchen is very open and we’d get caught very easily. A little make out wasn’t enough, but I guess it’ll do for now. “I missed you,” he mumbles before placing one last peck on my lips. If he said any of the shit he says to me in front of any the boys he would get SLAUGHTERED - let alone Bryce. It makes these moments even more special. I know he’s only like this with me. “Tell me about it,” he pulls away fully and goes towards the fridge. Monty comes back with four beers and places them in my lap. “That’s cold,” I moan and hurry them onto the counter. I see a smirk form in the corner of my eye. “What’s that for Cruz?” I lightly tap him with my foot. He pauses, before coming over to me with his four cans. Leaning in towards my ear, he begins to whisper. “I just think you should save that moaning for later.” Fuck.

“Honestly... Fuck you!” I shout as Jeff absolutely obliterates me. “I’m on your team!” I add as I lift my leg to kick him. He grabs my leg with his right hand and twists me playfully. I scream, which makes him do it more. I suddenly start to feel eyes burning in the side of my head. I continue messing around with Jeff because I’m probably over reacting, but I hear a cough behind me. “I think I’m gonna take off,” Monty stands up. Jeff stops, allowing me to sit up and look at him. I feel restricted from saying anything in case it makes it obvious. “Come on Cruz, it’s only 8!” Bryce throws a screwed up empty can of beer at him. “Sorry man, I’ll see you tomorrow.” And he leaves.

Running after Monty would just scream desperate and relationship so I don’t bother, but know that it’s all I wanted to do. If I wasn’t such good friends with these guys it would’ve been a no brainer. The stupid gaming goes on for hours, which causes both arguments and physical fights. I think everyone knew that it was time to finish. As people start leaving, it feels more and more calm and normal. It always feels like there’s hundred of us, although it’s 12 people at the most. Sometimes it’s nice to just be at 0. Not 100.

Pretty soon after people start leaving it’s just me and Bryce. We’ve known each other for what seems like forever, but we were never really ‘close’ until maybe a year or two ago. I feel like I know him, but he’s always been a closed book. But maybe that’s just me. Either way, I don’t think we’ve ever hung out just the two of us. “When do your parents come back?” I ask as I help clean up all the mess. “Tomorrow maybe. Who knows?” He laughs. I go into the kitchen to throw the cans in the bin, but when I turn around Bryce is right in front of my face. “Woah,” I laugh uncomfortably. My hand goes to his chest to push him back slightly to get past. “Y/N,” he says calmly. I say nothing and just turn back around. His energy is a lot different to how I’ve ever experienced it, so I’m unsure of what to do. I watch as he takes steps towards me, and the vibe I get from the situation is just... I can’t really describe it. It’s just negative.

One second he’s across the kitchen, next there’s hardly any space between us. I desperately want to move, but my back lays flat against the back wall. The feeling is indescribable. I don’t know why I feel so... weird..? about this whole thing. I’ve never seen him like this before. His hand lifts, making me stiffen up as he brings it to brush a piece of hair behind my ear. ‘I’m with Monty’ wouldn’t even come out of my mouth even if I wanted it do. “Bryce I-“ a fingertip that slightly circles the outside of my thigh silences me. “No I-“ and he doesn’t acknowledge, just continues. He’s stronger than me. He’s bigger than me. I begin to go into panic mode - but that just comes across as a frozen statue. “Don’t kid yourself Y/N,” he leans down and whispers in my right ear. Every hair across my skins stands tall. “Bryce- no- I.” I try forming a sentence in my brain, but they come out jumbled. His lips lower to my neck as I feel his finger slip up my shorts. I dont know where this strength comes from, but I push as hard as I can. He falls onto the ground, almost hitting his head on some cabinets. Almost. “Fuck Y/N!” I rush to grab my jacket, wanting to literally crawl up and die right about now. “You act as if you haven’t fucked half the baseball team.” I hear as I open the door. And a final “SLUT” as I slam it.

I drive out of his ground. Feeling completely numb, I stop driving pretty much as soon as I’m away. Words I’ve heard other girls scream about Bryce just rush through my head. I ignored those girls. I never thought twice about Bryce’s character, but I should have! The vile and sickening shit things they had to say about him was true... and I didn’t do anything about it. All I want to do is call Monty, so I do exactly that. It rings and it rings and it rings. I try at least 5 times but he cuts it short. I slam my hands on the wheel in frustration. Why didn’t I just leave when he did?

The next day

Guilty. The last feeling I thought I’d feel this morning. I feel guilty that I didn’t run after Monty. I feel guilty that I now have to tell Monty about what happened. I even feel fucking guilty about what Bryce did. He didn’t understand no. He assaulted me, and I feel guilty. Fuck feeling guilty. But it’s all I feel. Other wise I’m numb. Completely numb. I didn’t sleep last night, just cried and stared at my ceiling. Then the wall. Even out the window. I kept telling myself that it could’ve been worse. And it could’ve been! But playing last night through in my head on loop just made it sound worse, and then better, but it’s not getting better. I found myself making excuses for him, that maybe I gave him the wrong message. Maybe I did. Did I flirt with him? Did I give him a look?

I roll over to my phone which was centimetres from my head. My silenced phone must’ve been buzzing. Me and my running brain did hear a thing. I see two missed calls and a text from Monty. The text reads ‘Sorry I was in the shower, is everything okay?’ with a heart on the end. Part of me wants to be angry with him for not being there and leaving me. How can I though? I should’ve left with him. I should’ve ran after him.

It’s actually only 7:30 so unfortunately I haven’t missed any of school at all. Nowhere near. I don’t wanna go. I don’t think I can. I don’t know how to act. Just as I roll over and bury myself under the covers, I hear a car door slam. God I hope that’s not for me.

Minutes after there’s a knock at my door. I turn to face it only to see Monty’s head peak through the crack. Seeing his face actually makes me forget for a second. Happiness fills me, and as soppy as it sounds, I think he’s actually a cure to my sadness. He smiles massively at me before closing the door behind him and jumps onto my bed. “Jesus Christ Monty, you’ll break the bed,” I laugh, and as soon as I speak I can sense somethings coming. “Well I’ve done it before,” I push his face slightly, but I start to smooth his cheek instead. His eyes stay locked on mine. “Im sorry about yesterday by the way, I shouldn’t have left like that,” for a minute or two I completely forgot. I feel my smile just sink off my face, and I look down away from his gaze. This is Monty’s best friend. “How was it anyway?” He throws his arm around my shoulder. I lift my knees and lay my head on them to try and hide to fact that I’m slowly breaking. Fuck. This is so hard to rat him out. “Y/N...” he says quietly. My arms wrap themselves around my legs. I honestly feel so small. “What happened?” I’m not sure if it’s anger I hear in his voice, but something sounds different. “Uhm...” I sniff and wipe my glistening eyes into my covered knees. Turning my head, I look into his eyes again. “It was good until-“ “Until?” I can sense his whole being start to tense up. He’s sat up pretty much up straight and stretches to intertwine his fingers with mine. “Until everyone else left.”

It was almost as if he knew what I was gonna say. “Everyone meaning... you and Bryce were just left alone.” He takes his hand away from mine. “No it wasnt anything like that.” I panic and reach up to the cheek to comfort him. The discomfort on his face was so apparent and so disheartening. “I honestly swear.” I pause and take a breath. “He just... got a bit forward,” still, even with Bryce being an absolute dickhead, I find myself not wanting to hurt Monty by telling him this. He stands up in a rush. Pacing my bedroom floor, his fingers brush through his hair in frustration. “I swear to fucking god if you’re about to say what I think you’re going to!” I just lose it. Seeing how angry he already is just insane. Tears start to spill slowly but steadily. I can’t imagine what he’s thinking. I shake my head at him while I wipe my eyes. “I don’t want you to be angry with me,” my voice breaks. He kneels at the side of the bed, taking both of my hands in his. “Just tell me everything.”

So I do. I start with how it was normal. How it was nothing out of the ordinary. His eyes stay focussed on mine throughout my slow explanation. I wish I could just scream how much of ass he was, but Monty is his best friend. I’m so scared it’s gonna back fire on me. What if he takes his side? What if Monty isn’t the guy I thought? “He started getting really close and just weird,” I breathe my words out as clearly as I can. All I’ve heard leave my mouth is mumbles and blabber, so I have no idea how Monty’s understood any of it. But I can see him understanding every word. Fluently. “I just- I moved away. I really tried...” breathe. “I tried to ignore the fact that he was being off.” This was the bit. This part was make or break. “I can’t describe what I saw in his eyes but it wasn’t what I knew, yknow.” Every word that exited my mouth flowed into Monty’s brain. I could see it. He was calm. He was calm until the final part. The neck kissing. The thigh touching. I actually think he was mad at me until I made it very clear. I kept saying no.

He was up and out. I hardly saw him move. One second he was holding my hands, next he was leaving my house. I grab my closest clothing item, which - funnily enough - was one of Monty’s hoodies, and run after him. I catch him just as he turns on the engine. “Montgomery,” I sigh as I get in the passengers seat. He doesn’t even look in my direction. A wet patch on the right cuff spreads. “I knew you’d be pissed at me,” I huff in a whisper, but it was evidently loud enough for him to hear. He punches both hands against the steering wheel. “Why the fuck would I be mad at you?!” He starts the car.

The car ride is silent. Im unsure of where he’s actually driving to, but the ride is very drawn out with the tension. My thoughts are running away. I just find myself looking over at Monty in the corner of my eye. His face was blank. It was as if he was thinking of nothing at all. Like he was literally empty. “Monty,” I let out in a whisper. He doesn’t react at first, so I don’t think he hears me, but he then grabs my hand. “I wasn’t a slut was I?” He eyes widen, and I think a smile starts to form. “How would you be a slut if you’ve only fucked one other guy?” It comes out in a some sort of laugh, which is honestly so relieving. “I must give off that vibe then,” I sigh and gaze out the window. His hand goes back on the wheel as he turns up to a too familiar house. My eyes widen. “Monty...” he turns off the engine. “I’ve got something to get quick, you can drive on the way back,” he hands me his keys with a warm smile.

I shuffle myself across to the drivers seat. This feels a bit odd. To going from him being ‘angry’, and now going to see Bryce. Did he have to get it now? I’m just a bit confused. Like are we fine? I honestly have no idea. Just as I get comfy, I see Monty run down the driveway and rush into the car. The door opens, and the first thing I see is the red blood-like colour all over his hand. Oh shit. That’s actually blood. “Shit Y/N drive!” Bryce comes out his house with what looks like a bat?! I drive literally seconds away before asking the obvious question. “What the fuck did you do?” I ask, but as I finish it comes out in a bit of a laugh. “I only punched him.”

He sits at my kitchen table while I get the first aid kit. “This might sting,” I warn him before I clean it with alcohol. He hisses but only for a moment. “What did you actually do?” I ask. ‘I only punched him’ was absolute bullshit and I knew it as soon as I saw his hand. I can see literal pieces of glass at the surface. “I didn’t go in to- no I did go in to punch him- but I saw his face,” He shakes his head. “I just knew that he’d brag about it to me if he got the chance.” “So what did you say?” With tweezers I pull the pieces of glass out his knuckles, apologising as soon as I realise I didn’t warn him. “I couldn’t say much. I missed when I swung for him first and killed the mirror instead. I went for him again and just - dunno... might’ve broke his nose.” He shrugs, which makes me burst out laughing. “Im glad you find this funny,” a massive smile forms on his face, dragging me forwards to straddle him. I place a kiss on his lips. “Breaking a mirror is like 7 years bad luck,” I can’t help but feel so happy and over the moon. His left and absolutely fine hand goes to my ass, squeezing it slightly before whispering, “You know I love you right?”

[gwoongi]

𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗎𝗌 ✰ taehyung (7)

𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗎𝗌 kim taehyung / reader genre: zombie apocalypse au words: 4228

It felt shit to feel thankful of someone’s screaming. Mostly, Taehyung was happy it was them and not him.

a/n: funny story, i submitted this chapter as part of my creative writing portfolio and the prestige uni i sent it off to loved it and accepted me :D hopefully thats a nice indication on whether or not this is good :S

warnings: extremely graphic content, sexual pain, graphic torture, gore, violence, death, Humans Suck

01. denver ↝ 02. holiday with me ↝ 03. sad forever ↝ 04. surely ↝ 05.scorpion ↝ 06. shakespeare ↝ 07. thrones ↝ 08. moon motel

The group leave the trailer park three days later.

Bundling everything of use into the back of the truck, which seemed darker in colour since the last time it was used, you had found you enjoyed leaving more than you did settling in. Packing everything into correct places had always been such a bore, even at a young age. You remembered when you were eight, and moving in to your grandparents’ home in the outskirts of Denver. Was this really Denver? It was a small town, barely noticeable amongst the cluster of trees and ferns, but nonetheless peaceful, ‘perfect for a new place to start fresh’. Yeah, it only took around an hour and a half to get to school every-day, but don’t worry, it’s a fucking perfect place to live, aged eight, as an orphan. It took you around eleven months to finish emptying each box.

But four years ago, throwing everything into a backpack and into the boot of a car you nicked from down the road, it had been so easy. It was so easy to throw everything out and keep what you really needed. Easy to forget to pack a jacket you had been given for Christmas off an aunt you barely knew, easy to remember to pack all the knives out of the kitchen and the forbidden gun your grandfather used to hunt deer in the winter. It was rather symbolic- pretending people were deers as you shot them between the eyes.

“That everything?”

Namjoon stood, risen off the ground, his hand on the bar of the roof of the truck. Taehyung stepped down the plastic steps from the trailer, not bothering to lock the door, knowing nothing in there was of any value. At one point, the rainbow-glassed fruit bowl might have been of value, sentimental value or something. Now, it was worthless, with a lightning bolt crack down the middle.

“Yeah, good to go,” Taehyung replied, hovering when you climbed into the back to join Kyungmin. He waited, not knowing what for, only mildly embarrassed when you turned to see him staring. “You okay?”

You nodded once with a smile. “Mm. Are you?”

“Yeah. Sorry, I-”

Somehow, he hadn’t realised you shuffle to the open back doors to pull him in for a simple kiss. It was that quick and simple that he almost missed it. His eyes opened to the sight of you in front of him, your hands holding his face, rubbing the stubble around his jaw.

“You’re holding us all up, you know.”

“You’re holding me up,” he muttered, peeling your hands off his face and pressing a kiss to your knuckles, somehow finding the strength to let go and at the same time, make his way to the front of the truck. The whole vehicle shook as you pulled the back doors closed, submerging Kyungmin and yourself in familiar darkness.

“You got a map anywhere?” Taehyung fuddled in the glove compartment as Namjoon started the truck up. He pulled out a worn map, the same one you had used to direct the both of you out of Denver. Namjoon didn’t care for the quality, muttering a hasty thanks and peeling it open, staring at the lines and faded colours. “Keep heading East, as if we’re going to Georgia. Hopefully, we’ll catch Seokjin and his crew of fans on the way there.”

“And if we don’t?” Taehyung asked. When Namjoon fell silent, Taehyung’s lips pulled into a tight frown, “I’m just asking for the future. You’re not coming to Georgia. We’re going. I wanna know what our plan is before we put ourselves in danger in the middle of nowhere.”

Very aware of the compartment slider down, Namjoon found it was difficult to pick a solution that would best suit everybody. Kyungmin wanted to stay with Taehyung and yourself, forgetting Korea entirely and heading straight for the islands off the coast. Namjoon knew you wanted to go to Georgia with everybody, hoping to stick together as a four, but if there was no other option, you’d go to find a plane. Taehyung wanted to get to Georgia with you, but wouldn’t be opposed to finding Seokjin. As for himself, Namjoon wanted to take the jeep to Virginia, leaving Taehyung and yourself on the road.

Everybody made tough calls. Those words echoed in his head. Above all else, Kyungmin was his priority.

“I wanna take the jeep,” Namjoon said slowly, aware of the frowns, “but I can help find a vehicle for you and Y/N to use to get to Georgia. When that happens...we’ll go our separate ways. Half to Virginia. Half to Georgia. Fair, and square.”

Kyungmin fell with a thud and a sigh in the back of the jeep, and Namjoon did his best to ignore it.

“Alright,” Taehyung agreed, believing there was no other way around it. As long as you and him were safe, he didn’t care how it happened. “Whatever you say goes.”

14TH MARCH, 5 YEARS AGO.

Jiyong: i’ll be round at like 7:30ish. lost my weed bag and i’m a junkie and cant leave without it

Y/N: i hope it kills you

Jiyong: watch me actually die

Jiyong: don’t cry at my funeral you fake friend

Y/N: KIDDING!!!!

Y/N: is...seunghyun coming

Jiyong: fuck off

Jiyong: hes banned from seeing you

Jiyong: i cant believe my best friend is fucking my other best friend

Y/N: i like to call it woohooing and we’re being safe

Jiyong: i cant believe this is happening

Jiyong: why seunghyun?????? why not youngbae he treats women nice

Y/N: idk!!! we just hit it off a lot

Jiyong: you’ve known him for like 5 minutes

Y/N: it’s literally been like 5 years but whatever

Y/N: can’t you just be happy for me? i’m living life getting laid being happy n shit

Jiyong: i respect it but i’m not coming to urs expecting to have fun watching goblet of fire for the millionth time only for you to give seunghyun a sweaty bj right in front of me

Y/N: that was one time Let It Go

Jiyong: one day i’m gonna fucking die and you’ll realise how badly you treated me

Y/N: stop you’re my best friend :-(

Y/N: what are you like jealous that im banging him and not you???? wanna join

Jiyong: yeah i’d literally rather fuck the girl from the ring

Y/N: kinky

[03:45am]

Jiyong: woah did you hear about the north korea shit

Y/N: im literally being pounded into Cant this wait

Jiyong: we’re gonna die because kim jongun wants to nuke us and all you care about is seunghyun’s 3 inches

Y/N: it’s just fake news dont worry about it

Y/N: how many times has he threatened nuclear war

Y/N: he should hurry up and do it before exams

Jiyong: just wanted to check up on you because ur nan is fucking mental and she’ll probably collapse tomorrow morning and panic buy loaves of bread

Y/N: stop omg

Jiyong: anyways stay safe love U please bring me my weed tomorrow morning me and Jennie are gonna get high and try anal

Y/N: sweet thanks

SOMETIME LATER.

Leaving the world behind through the back windows of the jeep, you were oddly reminded of the time you left everybody behind during a Summer many years ago. It had been a spur of the moment decision, something you never expected to do, but found yourself doing anyway.

It felt like a lifetime ago; you had almost forgotten about it, until now, until seeing a sign graffitied with a smiley face, reminding you of the “GRIME SIGN” back in your hometown, renowned for being the most graffitied sign in the city. Whether or not that's true, you never really found out. Seunghyun and Jiyong had come along too, for the moral support of being alone on the road. With Jiyong in shotgun and Seunghyun in the backseat, it had felt like something slap-bang out of a teenage coming-of-age movie, titled “3 delinquents on the road to God knows where”, directed by Quentin Tarantino. You didn’t even know how to drive. It was pure bliss.

“Any luck with the radio?”

Kyungmin rattling the small radio that had been picked up from the trailer park startled you, the memory of driving nowhere and everywhere at the same time suddenly gone like the wind. As your vision readjusted to the dark, you noticed that Kyungmin was pressing all the buttons and turning all the dials, a frown on her lips jutted outwards.

“Not yet,” she replied. “Just give me a few more minutes, I can probably get this thing working.”

Namjoon let out a soft curse, swerving the truck slightly to move around a left behind Volvo, the cars open like wings with a dried trail of dragged blood leading into the thick forest. Things like that were common accessories, famed like tourist attractions. Namjoon now thought of what the world was really like- could Paris be any worse than America? What was Iceland like these days?

“Nearly there, now,” Namjoon said vaguely, and Taehyung debated whether or not to reply, if there was even anything to reply with at all. That’s how things went now, short replies or simply none at all. When the world died, so did words. Namjoon thought that was funny, how the collapse of society could mean the collapse of communication and language.

“We’ll need to stop for gas,” Taehyung said, his voice barely above a third volume. From the back of the van, you sat with your face looking out towards the left behind road, your eyelids growing heavy at the sound of Kyungmin pressing buttons, and the hum of the van beneath your thighs. “We’re running on fumes.”

Namjoon grumbled a reply, mentioning something about a gas station a couple miles ahead, near the clearing in the woods, just off the road. It didn’t take long to approach, only around ten minutes if Taehyung were to count. At least three songs had played since then. Taehyung couldn’t believe he was now counting using songs.

The station was large, decaying and it looked unsafe. Taehyung didn’t exactly care about the safety of the building itself, just caring about how safe it would be in the long-run. Safe enough to hide inside? Safe enough to step inside? Safety in architectural design didn’t matter anymore. If it looked rusted, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

Namjoon pulled the truck into the station, immediately noticing a few canisters of fuel that was left for the purpose of using, a sign reading “STAY SAFE” stood up, stuck with black masking tape. The letters were dripping onto the concrete, a small pool of chalky white near the drain where a plant was starting to sprout.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Kyungmin’s voice made you look over from the canisters, a wrinkle between your brows. She smiled, generously, and waited for your reply. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

She was talking about the Great Escape the other day. You already knew that.

“Just curious,” she replied, the smile never wavering. “There’s not many people left in the world, you know. Next to Namjoon, you and Taehyung are all I have.”

A silence fell on the two of you, and all you could hear was the sound of Taehyung dragging a barrel across the gas station, dipping his head underneath a broken window and scanning the interior of the gas station.

“I’m here for you,” Kyungmin continued, her voice significantly quieter. “You know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” you replied, and your hand came up to stroke her forearm, a smile on your lips. For a moment, it didn’t feel like the apocalypse. In that moment, it felt like two best friends, reunited after a Summer break, the pine trees isolating them from the world, a Studio Ghibli film, released 2019.

And yet Kyungmin moved away, her gaze lowered as she passed across the gas station to meet Namjoon, already lifting canisters of gas towards the car to refill. Taehyung had emerged once again, his bag refilled with cans and cigarette packets, surprisingly a bottle of liquor in his hands as he stepped back into the bitter wind. Inhaling a breath, Taehyung crossed the width of the station and opened the passenger door to the vehicle, setting down his bag and the bottle, as if they were small children.

“There’s no way we’re making it to Georgia on time.”

Taehyung paused, throwing you a look over his shoulder. “What?”

“Let’s think realistically,” you reasoned, tugging at the cloth over his elbow. Above all, you didn’t want Kyungmin to be upset if she overheard. “It’s been...how long? Since we left the warehouse? I haven’t exactly been keeping up with the dates, but it’s been too long, Tae. Normally, it takes less than 24 hours to get from where we are- wherever we are- to Georgia. And yet, we’re still not near. I’m just-” you sighed, raking your hands through your hair. In the dim light, the grease was visible. “I think we’re out of time.”

“Y/N, they’ll be there,” Taehyung said. He didn’t know what else to say, frowning, “I thought you wanted to remain optimistic?”

“I do, but I can’t afford to hope to get to Georgia and find them there. And what?” you continued. Your voice had raised slightly, not enough to make Kyungmin or Namjoon ask questions, but enough to make Taehyung’s nose cringe at the increase. “We get there, and find them. Is anything gonna be the same? What if we get there and they’re gone and there’s no boats? What if we get there and something happens to any one of us? Tae, I can’t have that on me. I can’t have that on my conscience. Not again.”

Not again. “Yena wasn’t your fault, Y/N, you have to know that-”

“I don’t fancy being out on the road all night.” Namjoon stepped into view from around the front of the van, his hands shoved into the pockets of his distressed jeans. “Thinking we keep driving, turn in when it gets dark to the first place we see.”

“Isn’t that a little risky?” Taehyung asked, mentally making a note to continue your conversation later. “I mean, we have to really check the place before we head in.”

Namjoon frowned. “I know that. But, Kyungmin’s feeling kinda travel sick, and I don’t wanna overdo it, you know? Nights like back at the trailer park...I want more of them.”

Already moving to the back of the van, you pulled open the double doors and slipped inside, keeping them open in time for Kyungmin to crawl in after you. Her skin was a shade of ivory, whiter than earlier, as if the sickness had come suddenly like a simulation glitch. Wasn’t that what you were now? A glitch? An error in coding.

Namjoon shut the drivers door, groaning at the loud sound.

“Hey, man, you okay to drive?” Taehyung asked quietly, looking over from shotgun. “Look, if you’re tired, we can switch the orders around.”

Namjoon looked over weakly- “You’re sure?”

Taehyung unbuckled his seatbelt, dumping his jacket in the footwell with a sniff of stuffy air. “I’d prefer if you slept if you’re tired. ‘Specially when they’re in the back. Don’t wanna hurt them.”

He made a sort of grunt as a reply, switching seats with the younger. When he was sat in the passenger seat instead of the drivers, he let his head lull back onto the windowpane, feeling the chilly glass cool the back of his head. It was as if resting his head had added extra weight to his eyes.

“‘m gonna drive straight-ish,” Taehyung said with his tongue between his lips, backing up the van slowly and carefully. Namjoon opened his eyes slightly, squinting.

“Can you drive?”

Taehyung changed gears. “Yes.” 

If Namjoon noticed that Taehyung paused, he didn’t mention it. In-fact, he closed his eyes again with a shrug, a half wriggle, resting his forehead against the glass, pushing towards the cool touch.

Taehyung had been driving for hours, for sure.

The time in the van was unlikely to be reliable, reading 5:19pm when the sky was as black as squid ink, the dim street-lights that somehow worked- probably solar - beckoning the group forward. In honesty, Taehyung had no idea how long it had been since the gas station, just long enough to give him a crick in his neck, the back of his thighs numbed. All things considering, Taehyung thought he was getting better at driving.

He flinched slightly as the divider to the back came sliding down, and your face popped out slightly, peering out the front window with sleepy eyes. If he had a free hand, Taehyung would have wiped the sleep from the corner of your eye, and he turned back to the road, oddly afraid of crashing the car with all four of you inside. Like yourself, he didn’t want that on his conscience. Like yourself, he couldn’t have it on his conscience, not again.

“Are we stopping soon?” you asked quietly. Namjoon shifted, making it known he wasn’t sleeping. He groaned, grinding the heel of his palm into his eyes, unbothered when dust and dirt smudged on his skin when he pulled away. He could look worse, he thinks.

“Nearly,” Taehyung replied. “I don’t know where to go from here. Last road was blocked, so, I’m trying to get out of here.”

Namjoon shifted, cracking his shoulder loudly. “You tried any back-streets?”

Instantly, Taehyung thought of the woman earlier in his trip. The way she screamed at the car, scratching at the rusty paint job, her eyes bloodshot and her skin a lime colour. He gulped the hot lump in his throat, “I’d rather avoid them.”

“It’s safer,” Namjoon continued. “Out of the way-”

Somewhere outside of the van, there was a loud crash, similar to the way you sound when you drop something at midnight when your parents are sleeping. The volume was loud, louder than anticipated, and Taehyung unintentionally stalled the van. Kyungmin jeered forward, hitting the underneath of her chin on the seats opposite, sending out a string of foreign curses to Taehyung in the driver's seat. He avoided the stare of Namjoon, deciding he didn’t want to see the deathly glare.

“What the hell was that?” you asked, cradling a throbbing pain on the side of your face after catching it on the separation between front and back. “Is someone here?”

Namjoon stayed silent for a moment, staring darkly into the outside. Taehyung didn’t know what to do except wait, ready to jump into action when Namjoon made a noise of surprise- or was it shock?- and slapped Taehyung’s hand with great panic, “Fucking pull up somewhere. Turn off those fucking lights. Fuck, fuck, fuck-”

“Jesus,” Taehyung cursed, doing exactly that as you leaned back to switch off the lights, submerging Kyungmin into darkness as the blood pooled in her mouth from earlier. She groaned something between her lips, holding her chin with her left hand as she picked herself up to lean over into the front, staring out at what Namjoon was watching across the small street. With the van now in darkness, away from the streetlight, you were invisible.

It wasn’t hard, locating the source of Namjoon’s panic.

Across the street, a flood of artificial white engulfed the street, barely missing the pull-in that Taehyung had moved into moments earlier. Namjoon slouched out of instinct, keeping his eyes on the road as he noticed three people dashing out into the darkness, the explosive lights following them as if they were automatic. They probably were, turning on as they stepped further and further away from the door they ran from. As they hurried past the hidden van, another noise pulled away your attention.

A large garage door screamed as it opened, in desperate need of oil, chains clattering against the metal interior. The light suddenly changed to an eerie green, something you saw in documentaries about weed farms. As it slid further up into the building, Namjoon hitched a breath as the sight of three sets of human legs came into view, dressed in stunning ebony, large guns by their hips. One of them smoked a cigarette, the smoke rising up like old Native smoke-signals. The middle guy pulled up his mask, covering his nose and lower face, and loaded the large Heckler Koch HK MG4 MG 43, aiming it swiftly at the little piggies running away from the slaughterhouse.

Taehyung knew that gun- the Heckler Koch never missed a target. He barely flinched when the gunman hit the kneepits of the runners, sending them to the ground instantly, their bodies buckling under the loss of legs. The screams were loud. Mama has the bacon, now.

The other two gunmen laughed loudly, approaching the pigs and picking them up to drag them back into the garage, a trail of blood marking the concrete like paint. He said something, the main gunner, and the two spares were taken away, possibly to die, maybe to a waiting room where they would await their death, as casually as they would waiting for a doctor’s appointment. The last runner, a man who looked to be in his mid-thirties, with already greying hair at the top, was pulled to the side of the room where three more men emerged, a woman amongst the pack with her hair sprawled out to her elbows, in mermaid curls. She was gorgeous, nobody could argue against that, with her body in a glamorous dress, something too glamorous for the apocalypse. On her feet, heels that presented her perfectly painted toes, a peachy shade.

“What’s happening?” Kyungmin asked. It was rhetoric. Everybody knew the answer.

The woman dressed in glam approached the slumped body of the runner, crouching to cup his face and stroke a thumb across the bags under his eyes, bleeding out with veins a bright red, the red of a freshly picked apple, the red line under a spelling error. She closed her eyes and leaned forward, putting her thumb over his lips and kissing her nail, before retreating and nodding curtly at the men around her. It was a signal, for they picked up the runner and began to tear off his clothes, leaving him stark naked, covered in purple bruises, tiny flowers on his skin.

Taehyung had seen things like this before- he was no stranger to the way the men beat the man with clubs and their boots, laughing at the way he retreated into his own skin, recoiling at every kick and screaming with every sickening club, until he accepted the fact that his body was their plaything. He watched, in morbid wonder, as they dragged him by his swollen balls to the center of the room, where a sharpened hook hanging from a chain off the ceiling swung threateningly, a bone being wagged in the face of a dog. The man whimpered, his eyes hurting, only barely making out his destination before his body shook violently.

The man picked him up as if he was a sack of sugar, with one hand around his neck, promptly planting him on the hook as if it were a throne. Now Taehyung had to close his eyes.

It was curling upwards, sharply, scraping every wall and nerve and good spot that ached. Yet, the men watched with wonder and satisfaction, clapping when he thrashed like a fish out of water. His legs were immobile, moving inches and with every movement came a grunt of pain, flashed with panic and agony from his rather pointy throne, and then the passing pain of his arm being cracked upwards.

The crack was loud.

From behind him, Taehyung heard Kyungmin make a small wheeze, hurrying into the back of the van, where Taehyung watched you pick her head up off the seats, your thumbs in a pool of vomit around her mouth. You didn’t even care about the sick on her knees, or the smell in your nose. Namjoon looked through the slot, dragging the divider up before the sound of retching made him sick, too.

You stopped listening to the retching, quietly shushing each whimper as Taehyung slowly started the van back up, grateful that he was covered by the sound of someone screaming in fucking agony. It felt so wrong, to be thankful of a tortured man. Cock and all, Taehyung was thankful he was screaming. The tyres of the van slowly rolled along the road, in the shadows, at a sluggish pace. Namjoon wiped away a line of sweat on his forehead, unable to look away from the man, thrashing like a pig, hanging like a sack of meat in a slaughterhouse, blood pooling now at the corner of his mouth, his eyes, his nose, dried blood at his ears.

It felt shit to feel thankful of someone’s screaming. Mostly, Taehyung was happy it was them and not him.

[sulpher]

what do you call someone with a strong annoyance borderline hate of men specifically men who are incredibly (masculine) toxic but would be the shit out of anyone who tried to say a man could be assaulted, or that men should be belittled and mistreated like women?( a rant?)

I remember I got called a terf like maybe two or three months ago and it bothers me because I worry if I could be aligned in that horrible theory. I always thought the main core of terfism was that you are “ gender critical “ and you ironically just like the patriarchy don't think a woman could ever be smart enough to know the difference in literally - anything? i like trans woman too many folks...i like women - cis and trans...they're cute and awesome ...so like how could you not?  Im bringing this up because as of late ive had a very angry and almost cold voice that respond when i see violence against women because people felt entitle to people bodies and just like school shootings and trumps camps I have to numb myself too it or otherwise i would literally go on a suicidal/homicidal spree.  “ a women’s death is nothing in comparison to a man’s freedom. a woman;s discomfort is nothing in the way of a man entitlement “ I dont like that phrase. i feel like if come off to me as the epitome of femi nzai if that’s even a thing anymore since the men who hated them are most likely real nazis. Listen im 28 and stuck in a house with two men who double-crossed me and are only taking care of me because i decided to quit my job. im only in this house with someone who i thought was literally going to harm and someone who stolen moeny from me becuase as a soceity i have been mold to bend until i break and be gaslighted as “ an irrational fuhmal” not even human if i bring it up. its 2019 and im still tlaking to people who think its ok to count thier two stay at home mothers as an example of why women get paid less because they work less but tell em that the 50 women i work with at a company dont count becuase that’s my just my feelings  and smirk and bring up “ toxic feminity” like that not a sub division of toxic masculinity - Because women DID NOT tell other women to compete with other women in order to get men  Because women DID NOT teach other women that it’s ok to hit men and that men shouldn't cry  Because other women DID NOT teach other women that men couldn't be raped, should always pay the bill Not in the beginning ...that was toxic masculinity but how dare I expect men to accountability for responsibility - that’s just one of the privileges of being a male. and stop telling women when they get hurt by a man that they should of got a guy form thier family. You mean the same guy who was allowed to walk around in thier underwear while i had to fully dress in my home at 9 years of fucking age because my body attracted raped and his didn't or as i like to say it “ boys will be boys but girls should know better by knowing nothing at all” 

Listen I don't think the world would be better if men didn't exist. I don't think the world would be better if men were put under the social pressure of women . Im just dont exist in this society any more as hetero passing individual because i dont get along with it’s morals. im so fucking tired of watching women dying because “ a man has his needs...and his excuses “ and before the misandry parade comes put the cuffs again - i dont mind being a misandrist as much as i don't want to be a terf but again im not looking to get in fights with men. I honestly wish i was invisible to them since seeing me as anything as a female is so socially ingrained is impossible and understanding - im not even mad. make go back in the kitchen jokes, shit on my existence, make me play this doll for the sake of your “ cool girl because if i dont letyou hug me, if i show even a sign of resistance to your sexual banter or your anti feminist logic or your victim-shaming statements...im no longer an object of convenience...and i potentially become a another death statistics  and to the “ protect the boys” brigade aka the people who come screaming from/the corner of this hellsite like someone told your child santa doesn't exist when a woman says something like  “ you know i like getting dress up for other women I try not to think about men “ “ im not here for emotionally unavalible boys” “ I'm not here for men who don't want to fix themselves” ” I'm not worried about children and men “ ” I didn't find him interesting so i didn't give him a chance ” and then you mofos come of the fucking woodwork screaming like a motherfucking banshee  ” BOYS NEED LOVE ! IF YOU DONT WANNA FiX HIm HOW IS HE GOING TO GROW ?!” ” DONT SAY MEN ARE TRASH ! TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A RESULT OF HIM NOT BEING LOVE PROPERLY !” ” IGNORE THEM BOYS WE WONT LET THEM FORGET YOU “ * animal like screeching To you ; you dont care about men. You care about the status quo. You think if men become “ as emotional as fuhmales “ (because half of you don't see women as anything but her genitals ) that they will break down. you don't want men to make a connection between the idea that men need to sex in order to be valuable even if that means taking it and that anyone who take sex is a rapist because then men would have to be accountable for their actions. They would feel bad and you wouldn't want your favorite child to feel bad, after all if they feel bad they cant let loose and be the “ best version” of themselves- even if that version of themselves is a fucking dumpster fire. You want them to be the full end of this spectrum at the expense of your less favorite child ( women ). You might be someone who just, in general, have fed into the bullshit that woman are liars ( another concept that makes it easier for rape culture to be prevalent and strong ) and that men are calm, collective beings who are being neglected thanks to feminism and woman not focusing on them. you might think “ well logically if you only tell men they're trash they're going to be trash “ Ive been told i was a bitch , a fake, a slob( that is true. i am dirty af and i will not put on deordorant unless someone coming), pathetic and useless.  I decide one day that if i didnt like any of those things i would change it , becuase if i didnt like being those things that i needed to change them for me. I CHANGE WHEN I DIDNT LIKE MYSELF and before anyone says anything i have had depression and anxeity. i have been gaslighted and bully for years but at the end of the day my change didi not come from people cheering me up or tearing me down it came from ME being critical of myself nad my actions. And that’s why you “ what about the boys” people dont love men as much as you say you do . You're so afraid of them becoming something more than your baby boy being more than what you want, greater than what society has allow that you would rather make in a pacified monster than a human being. you guys hate men and i cannot stand any of you  to the young man who has  been discriminated against because you weren't born as a cis male  were raped by women and wasn't respected by either woman or men when you look for support  gritted your teeth and read through all my rambling you're valid. you worried about having your whole life ruined by false rape accusations or in general, you are generally afraid of adding to a woman’s concern when it comes to men. you dont like being around certain woman becuase you feel they are too touchy are they are the one who the moment you dont find them attractive and everyone includes other men invalidate you're right to not want to be touch. you fucking have to control your urge to gut punch every time you here the phrase “ men are trash “ becuase you understand the phrase isnt about you and some smart ass is like “ if its not about you why are you getting mad “. Like we all know why you're mad - but we know you're better than that.  I appreciate you questioning your friends on thier used of rape jokes and trying to implied that sexual assault doesn't exist becuase “ if the guy attracted females dont complain “ I think you're wonderful...but i want out  becuase my death is just another occurrence. being someone’s property as a child, wife or even friend means nothing now. my death is nothing different than throwing out an aluminum can. i no longer wonder if the person im talking to is capable of rape. i know longer wonder if ill makes it home safely. i know get angry about wanting to do things like move out on my own, be respected by men and not feel that my feelings are constantly being pacified like a battery operated doll who the owner is cooing to work.  I expect it. and when it doesn't happen i hold my breath and try to not think about tomorrow where ill pretty much have the bar set that low again. I expected to have my feelings band aid with “ well im sorry someone hurt you “ or “ youre apart of the problem thinking like that”. when something im uncomfortable with happens i dont go out in a rage but belitting my feelings as “ sensitive” or “ stop being a bitch “ roll off me.  Humankind is capable of amazing thing and i know change is possible...but i dont expect it anytime soon. ....I really just want out. its 2019 and women are still getting killed becuase of entitlement and the only ing most of you is complain that it happens to men too.....Im tired of pretending this society cares if i was murder right now. you only careif i fit the commodity of the day...I want out for i am so very tired 

[new-to-this123]

Emptiness

As per requested

Hello, can you do a imagine where the reader and Zach are dating but she's very depressed (but never show it) and when he find out that she was planning to kill herself he freaks out and tell her how much he loves her and she gives up because loves him to

Zach Dempsey X Reader

Warning: mentions of suicide, swearing

Word count: 1493

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~Journal Entry~~~~

Thursday April 13, 2017

i'm a lucky girl. My parents are rich, i lived in a mansion, im a straight A student, i'm captain of the cheer team, all the boys want me, even though i'm taken by none other than Zach Dempsey, every girl wants to look and be like me. I have everything! My family loves me, my parents are still together, and it looks like i'm gonna follow in Jay and Jordan, my older brothers, footsteps, and go to Stanford. I mean my dad already told me i was going to get accepted. But i don't know. I just don't feel like i belong on this planet. In this universe. In this lifetime. I have everything but i'm depressed. I want to die. I’m never really happy. And it's not like i can just tell my parents, they'd tell me i was wrong and that i'm ok and that i have no reason to be depressed. And i can't tell zach, id scare him off. So here i am dealing with this alone. Anyways i guess ill stop being a big suck and go to sleep

~~~~End Journal Entry~~~~

Text:  

Loverboy: Good morning babe! I hope you slept well and had great dreams. i just wanted to let you know that i can't wait to see you today and i love you so much. And i miss you too! Even though i saw you yesterday lol I love you Y/N! Y/N: awe thanks boo! I love you and miss you too and i can't wait to see you too!! :* Loverboy: Wanna ride together? Or do you wanna meet at school? Y/N: IDK i think my Rolls-Royce Phantom Serenity beats your audi! Lol lol lol :P Loverboy: so you can pick me up then, little miss perfect ;) Y/N: me and my perfect car will pick up my perfect boyfriend in 5 minutes :)

You left your house, got in your car, plugged your aux cord into your phone and blasted “crossroads” by I Prevail as you headed to zachs. He was outside waiting for you.

“Well good morning handsome” you said as zach sat down

“Well good morning beautiful” zach replied hugging you and kissing your lips.

You drove to school listening to your music, holding zachs hand.

You got to school, got out your car when justin and and bryce walked up to you guys.

“Wow your parents let you take this to school??”  Bryce asked looking at your car

“There's not much my parents wont let me do” you said with a smile on your face, deep down you hated it. The fact that you could get away with murder and your parents would still think of you as a saint.

“That car looks like it cost a lot” justin exclaimed looking at the car.

“Roughly 1 million dollars” you replied, hating the fact that you knew he came from nothing and here you are driving a million dollar car.

“What kind of car is that?” Scott asked as he walked up to you guys, with jeff.

“It's a Rolls-Royce Phantom Serenity. Not lets stop gawking over Y/N car and go” zach answered taking your hand leading everyone to the school.

Everyone said Hi and Good morning to you, like always, as you walked into school. You secretly hated it, but whatever, that comes with being the “Happy Popular girl” that you were! You headed to your locker, grabbed your books and headed to your first class.You were happy that it was friday because that meant half day. Only half a day to deal with all these dumbasses, you had to call your peers. Some days you were impressed that you managed to keep your anger and hatred and depression under lock and key as well as you did.

Finally the bell rang signaling it was home time.

Text:

Loverboy: Hey beautiful, got practice so i'll catch a ride with one of the guys. I love you. And i'll see you tonight or tomorrow. Y/N: Have fun i love you

You drove home, not sure what you were feeling. You wanted the emptiness and confusion you felt inside of you to go away. You hated it. You got home and went to your room.

~~~~Journal Entry~~~~

Friday April 14, 2017

I'm so hurt. I don't even know why. I just wanna die. I think, i think i might actually try and kill myself. I'm over feeling lost and alone. And empty. The emptiness is driving me insane. Literally. I'm going crazy over how empty i feel. I love my family and i love zach, but i just can't seem to shake this loneliness away. The fact that everyone likes me drives me insane. I hate the fact that they all like me, and they think i'm some saint. I'm not a saint. I hate being known as the smiley happy girl. Urg here i am ranting again. Feels like im doing this a lot lately. Ranting about everything. About my life. My oh so perfect life.

~~~~End Journal Entry~~~~

You sat on your bed looking at your journal crying. “Why do i feel like this all the time? WHY?” you thought to yourself. You laid down, and cried yourself to sleep! You were woken up by your mother's voice.

“ hey Y/N how was school?”

“Oh hey mom.” you said sitting up. “ school was ok. Whats up?”

“Your father and i are leaving, for a few weeks. A business trip”

“When do you leave?”

“Right away. Im sorry it's last minute. But your father is waiting for me in the car. We love you, be good, and your brothers are just a phone call away, if you need anything.”

Your mom walked out your room, not even looking back. You didn't want to be alone this weekend, not with the mindset you had, but didn't want to pester zach to come over. So you called your oldest brother, Jordan.

“Hey what's up sis, you're on speaker” jordan said

“Hey monster” jay said. He had always called you that.

“Hey guys. I was wondering what you were up to this weekend?”

“Partying” your brothers said in unison.

“Would you be willing to come home?” you asked

“Why?” Jay asked

“Because mom and dad left and their gone for who knows how long. And i just dont want to be alone.”

“Call up zach” Jordan said

“Please guys”

“No way man! You'll be fine! It's not the first time you've been alone and it won't be the last. We dealt with it and you can too.” Jay said almost annoyed

“Ya but you had each other and me! Im ALONE.. Please”

“Y/N stop. You'll be fine! We aren't coming!” Jay replied

“Jordan” you said, before being cut off by Jay

“Bye Y/N” and jay hung up.

You started crying. You hated everything right now. Your parents always being gone, your brothers for being assholes, everyone for thinking you were oh so perfect. You were done waiting for life to be better. You were done waiting for your thoughts to get better. You were gonna fix everything. You went to your bathroom and ran a bath. You went to your parents room and found your dad's razor blades. You walked back to your room, crying. You sat in the tub, fully dressed, holding the razor blade in your hand. You were crying, and didn't hear the door of the bathroom open.

“Y/N what the fuck???” zach yelled

He ran up to you and took the razor blade out of your hand.

“Why? Why would you do this?” zach asked crying

“Why why are you here?” you asked

“Jordan called me. Said you called him and and were practically begging them to come home and he wanted me to come check on you because he was worried.” Zach answered. “And now i see why”

“I'm sorry” you said as zach helped you out the tub.

“Babe, come here” zach said pulling you into a hug.

“I'm so sorry. I'm just.. I'm just so sad. All the damn time. And i hate it. I want to make everything just go away.” you cried

“I love you so much Y/N and im always here for you. Why didn't you tell me any of this?” zach asked you

“I don't know how to. I didn't want to bring you down. I’m fucked up ok?”

“No no NO Y/N you're not. You just need help. And i'm gonna help you get it. When you're ready.” Zach told you, getting you some dry pjs.

He helped you get dressed and led you to your bed.

“Zach i promise, i won't ever do it again.” you said laying down in bed, zach climbing in behind you holding you close.

“I love you Y/N, Never forget that” zach kissed your head, and you both fell asleep.

[willgayers]

i havent been COMPLETELY thru your list of reddie fics so if youve already done something similar ignore this but. what about a sickfic where richie is sick? also maybe eddie just like, forgets about germs to take care of him and then ends up getting sick too and blaming richie and richies jus like, dude, were you here

i changed it a little but only the part where he blames richie and richie wonders if he was there !!! hope u like it :-)

again,,, sorry for the length?? but i cant write these short?? also again. IT IS WORTH IT 

so obviously eddie is TERRIFIED of germs and every time one of the losers has even a little flu he’s not gonna touch anything they touch and will stand 5 feet away from them and honestly in the end will probably just be that one friend who’s gonna say

“my mom said no”

just so that he won’t hurt his friends’ feelings even tho he really just doesn’t wanna be anywhere near them bc hey he could get it too and it could turn into something more dangerous like leper obviously

but then one tragic time… richie gets a flu

and eddie’s very torn bc he doesn’t wanna be with richie cause ???? he isn’t clean

but then again they were supposed to hangout

eddie is thinking whether he should ditch richie or not

“jesus i’ve been sneezin since 8am”

yeah eddie is not gonna go there

the gERMS ARE FLYING and just the thought makes him shiver

he’s thinking that oh well maybe tomorrow he’s gonna be ok again

spoiler alert: he’s not

so eddie suffers thru the day bc its boring at school without richie

they talk on the phone later that day and eddie’s like hey r u feeling any better

“i am nod” richie answers with a stuffed nose

eddie just sits on his bed with a facial expression that is nothing other than :(

then the day after that ,,, eddie goes to school in hopes of that maybe richie had a miracle healing last night and now he’s gonna be there

LMAO YOU THOUGHT EDS

now eddie is just gettin pissed off bc how dare his boyfriend be sick for this long

so again that night they speak on the phone

“richie jesus christ when are u gonna HEAL”

“i am do dorry eddi-spageddi bud i am just so sig”

eddie is gonna turn into hulk soon from the conflict bc he REALLY misses richie

should i stay or i should go™

(nice stranger things reference)

ok maybe eddie is gonna give it one more day.

so it’s friday and richie has missed school for almost the whole WEEK

“wow eddie you’ve been without richie for almost the whole school week how’s that feel must be a new record huh”

“shut up stan”

don’t be mean stan

eddie’s heart is breakin

again,,, he goes home from school and calls richie immediately

“ARE YOU,,,,STILL…. SICK?????”

“yeah i— *LEPER COUGH* i ah-ah-AMh *cough*”

eddie cringes because ???? oh my gosh he is turning into a zombie

“oK THATS IT”

eddie has had it

he hangs up and stomps out of the house and rides his bike to the grocery store and buys all kinds of stuff like non-caffeine tea ((bc he knows for a fact that it helps better than regular)),, some ice cream and chicken soup in a can even tho eddie thinks it’s disgusting and fights with one of the workers

“YOU DONT HAVE NORMAL,,, READY CHICKEN SOUP IN THE FRESH FOOD SECTION????”

“yeah not today”

“my bOYFRIenD haS bEeN SiCK!! FOR A WEEk and i hAVE TO BRING HIM A CAN????”

eddie shakes his head in disbelief and curses the store as he walks away

then he finally arrives at richie’s house

he knocks on the door first just in case his terrible excuse of parents are home but they aren’t

so he leans down to grab the key from under the doormat and opens the door

he walks in and stiffens his upper lip as he glances around at the sight of empty beer cans and liquor bottles and there’s just the smell of old booze and cigarettes in the air

like it’s normal (and eddie hates that it’s normal) but richie’s SICK and he should be breathing fresh air not the literal definition of the breath of a drunken bum who’s been living in the gutter

this wasn’t what he was expecting bc he figured that richie’s parents would at least open the fucking window because their son is sick inside the house

so quickly eddie makes his way to richie’s room that is at the end of the hallway and he knocks on it softly before opening the door

he finds richie sitting in his bed ,,, burrito inside blankets and he’s watching something from his laptop

his eyes are red and his face is a lil swollen and nose also v red

eddie wants to cry bc he looks so bad

“eddi???”

“yes,,, eddi to the rescue” he mocks his boyfriend’s stuffy nose voice a little

richie is literally starstruck bc ???? EDDIE IS THERE ???? EDDIE , IS THERE , WHEN HE IS SICK ????

“whad de fug edz u should go befor u ged dis doo”

“i’ve been to school without you for a week now richard im done”

richie wants to cry

eddie is still just staring at him bc he doesn’t know how to approach him since he’s still a little disgusted at the situation this is all new for him ok but he really wants to help his bf

“i bought u some stuff”

richie starts to smile wide

“BUT” eddie starts

“before i give u any”

“????”

“you’re gonna leave this house”

richie looks at him like he’s crazy

“r u serioud eddi every pard of ma badi hurts”

eddie feels so bad for him

“you don’t even have fresh air here richie so i am serious”

richie can’t take the fact that his boyfriend is such a knight in shiny armor

eddie leaves the bag for a moment to grab richie inside his blanket burrito and pull him up.

“ur gonna have to get rid of this blanket tho”

“no:(”

eddie looks at him

“srsly richie i can’t give you a ride on my bike you’re gonna fall down and roll down the hill”

“:(”

“i will give you my blanket once we’re there”

richie throws his blanket down way too fast and he starts feeling nauseous

the bike ride isn’t very aesthetic™ for him either bc his head is spinning and all of his muscles hurt and oh my gosh he’s doing his everything not to throw up on eddie’s back rn

eddie’s mom isn’t home so eddie can easily sneak richie in

he’s not sure how he’s gonna explain him living there until he’s healthy again tho

but he’s not gonna worry about that now

(fast forward;

i donT CARE THAT HE’S SICK AND INFECTED MOM,, i LoVE HiM!!!!)

so now they go into eddie’s room ( he’s basically holding richie up )

and richie settles down on eddie’s bed and eddie wraps him inside a blanket and richie is just smiling at him the whole time

“r u comfortable”

“very” richie says. the blanket smells like eds and he is in eddie’s bed. ofc he’s comfortable 

“here’s my laptop”

eddie hands him his macbook and goes to the kitchen to prepare the chicken soup. in the can. which eddie still thinks is unacceptable as he heats it up

“here”

richie is about to cry bc “did you really mage me chiggen soub”

eddie nods with a light frown like wtf obviously that’s what you eat when you’re sick

“there’s also ice cream”

“ice cream???”

“yeah it’s for the throat…???

eddie is kinda confused bc how can richie not know it helps

then it occurs to him that

richie doesn’t know, because

no one’s probably ever taken care of him when he’s sick????

i REPEAT, NO ONE’S EVER TAKEN CARE OF RICHIE TOZIER WHEN HE IS SICK

now eddie wants to cry

“scoot over”

he wants richie to be on the side next to the wall so he can lean his head on it if he wants to it’s more comfy  

with a lil trouble richie does move and eddie cuddles up next to him

literally cuddles

richie is SHOCKED

“are you sure u wanna do dat”

“100%”

richie wants to marry eddie

“wad r we watchin”

“kill bill”

“waid a minude… isn’d dis-”

“yours. yeah. i never watched it and i never gave it back so”

“u never watched dis?? oh my god eddi—”

“eat ur chicken soup and watch this movie with me now oKAY” eddie is a pissed off knight in shiny armor bc talking is just gonna exhaust richie more and he needs to get WELL

richie eats his soup and they watch the movie in silence,,,, glued to each other and at some point eddie realizes richie’s fallen asleep with his head resting towards eddie’s

eddie can’t move because he knows if he does he’s gonna wake up richie

but thankfully after like 15 minutes richie wakes up and he’s like “shid where am i”

“you’re with me”

he turns his gaze down at eddie and he remembers that yes,,, he is in fact with eddie and he just feels: ️️️️️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

well the weekend goes by and eddie goes hardcore nurse on richie and literally by sunday he is already pretty healthy like his voice is back to normal and so on

but… Oh… no

eddie and richie are eating in the kitchen

richie goes;

“baby can u pass me that ketchup”

“sure—”

SNEEZE

eddie’s eyes widen and he freezes in shock

richie looks at him like o'shit he done caught the flu

but then he starts to smile

“WELL I GUESS I WON’T BE GOING TO SCHOOL FOR ANOTHER WEEK”

“what do you mean?!?!?!”

“because obviously im gonna take care of u”

eddie is 😨😭💘😓😭💕😨😭💗

then later they tell the other losers why they’re both missing school and stanley uris wants to comment again

“so eddie u went to richie’s house??”

“yesh”

“and i thought i was romantic letting bill choose dinner”

@nopetaking @xbell22 @donthateonk8 @stenbroughbros @reddiebrekmyheart @itsgreywaterrichie @donvex @blueeyespurpleskies @ageorgymi @oh-youre-the-worst @eddiekaaspbraak @whipashwhipash @rissyq @richietoaster @edskasqbrak @waterlouis @wyattghouleff@urtury @bukiminajimu @kcutieeesblog @stansmansuris @adorefack@reddieaddict @icyeyes102@denbroughbill @graveyardshipper @taletellingsir @anxiety-freak-yuuri @rheddie @queertrashmouth 

[cryinggameff]

Sixty Three

Cayden

I was in Jamaica working on a deal with some guys Sean had connected us with a while back. We had been doing small business with their niggas out in texas and we hadn’t had any real problems, other than the small feds issue but that was on our end, and it had been dealt with. My sources let me know people had stopped talking and the investigation was dropped. Randi was on on my ass to fix that one real quick, but i understood why.

Jamaica was beautiful though, i wished i was here to just chill, with my girl, not working. We’d spend the day on the beach, or in this big ass hotel room…fucking and everywhere. Most likely the second one. I promised myself to bring her some time.

Sean and Pat were both with me, and we were going to some meeting with the dude who was gonna supply shit. We were in our car on the way there.

“Like i told you, dude kinda crazy, so lets try and avoid any beef. I heard he be keeping niggas balls as torphies and shit,” Sean said, looking over from the drivers seat.

“I can respect that,” i chuckled. “Maybe imma start doing that, make yall niggas really fear me.”

“Thats some batty man shit,” Pat mumbled.

We pulled up to the building, which was some food place.

“They doing drug deals out of a restaurant?” I looked at Sean.

“Thats how it be here,” he shrugged. We walked in past the store front and inside there were lots of tables and plastic chairs. A group of people were gathered at the back near the register, two guys stood on either side of the table, body guards. They stepped up when we approached and my instinct was to be pissed off because the nigga knew i was coming but yet he had security in my face.

“He knows who i am,” i said simply. They looked back at their boss and then let us through. We sat down on the opposite side of the table.

“Sean, wa gwan my brotha?”

“Im chillin. Omarion, this my nigga Cayden. Cayden this the crazy dude Omarion,” Sean said. Omarion looked me over and i did the same.

“Texas right?” he said. I nodded. “You know i done business with yall in the past actually.”

“Word? When?” I asked. He leaned in, putting his hands on the table. He smirked in a way that really made me think he was crazy.

“Way back when, Red was running shit back then,” he said, tilting his head.

“That must have been a long time ago then,” i said nonchalantly.

“Shame what happened to him isn’t it?”

“Tragic,” i said. He burst into full blown laughter. I guess people really knew what had gone down. I smirked.

“I like your style Cayden,” he said. “This should be a good partnership. Lets get to the business then.”

“We got everything ready on our end. Just gotta see what we buying before we hand the money over.”

“Everything irie my brother, dont worry,  we got the best quality product. I got some coke and the weed for you to try, the rest will be here tomorrow when we do the drop,” he said, turning and nodding to one of his guys. The guy got up and went back to the kitchen then came back with a brick of coke and a bag of some rolled up blunts. He put them on the table. I opened the plastic wrapping and looked over the coke before passing it to Pat. I wasn’t about to try it because i knew i had a problem with the shit and Randi had threatened to leave me over it when we first got together. Doesn’t mean i wasn’t tempted though. Pat took a sniff while i lit the blunt. I knew the weed was gon be lit because everyone knew this was the place for the shit. I took a long pull.

“Damn,” i said, blowing out smoke. The guys chuckled and i took another drag.

“I told you my brother. So we good for tomorrow?” Omarion put his hand out. I nodded and shook his hand.

“We’ll see yall tomorrow,” i said, standing up. Pat and Sean stood up too.

When we got back to the hotel the first thing i did was face time Randi. It has only been 3 days but i missed her and i knew she was probably freaking out by now. She was clingy for a nigga. Her phone rang for a real long time before she finally picked up.

“Why the fuck it take you so long to pick up?” i asked, immediately wondering what she was doing. She moved the phone so i could see her face.

“Well i was sleeping,” she said, voice low. I could tell she had just woken up from her hair and her voice.

“You at the girls’ place?” I asked, not liking the idea of her being alone.

“No, they’re here, at the house, they watching a movie i think,” she said, brushing hair out of her face.

“You love watching movies, why you sleeping?” my brows came together.

“I was tired. Where are you?” She asked.

“My hotel room. Its real nice, youd love it here babe. Imma bring you one day.” She smiled.

“Okay,” she said, excited now.

“You look pretty,” i told her, looking at her messy hair and makeup around her eyes, i liked it.

“I literally just woke up, im pretty sure theres drool on my face,” she wiped her cheek.

“Nah. You look perfect.”

“I miss you,” she frowned.

“I know,” i said simply. She knew i was missing her the same if not more.

“Come home quickly, i need you…”

“Whats wrong?” I asked immediately. I already knew something must be up.

“Nothings wrong. I just love you and i wanna see you,” she said in a not so convincing voice but i let it go.

“I love you too. You gon be aight. Just a few more days. But you need to get out of bed and get outside. You even leave the house today?”

“Not really.”

“Get off your butt or im gonna send someone over there. Im gonna send Ty actually. He needs the key to my office anyway. You know where it is?”

“yeah i know,” she said. “Ill give it to him.”

There was banging on my door then and i lookd over. Sean and Pat stormed in and were making all kinds of noise.

“Nigga we going out,” Sean said. Pat grabbed my phone from my hand.

“Hey Randi. Cayden has to go now,” he said.

“Okay. Bring him back in one piece please,” she said.

“I promise,” he said.

“Okay, go play with you friends. I’ll talk to you later,” she said to me.

“Bye baby,” i yelled. Pat hung up and i sent him a mug.

“Dawg you not staying in this room. Grab yo shit we going,” he said. I groaned but got up. It would be a shame to leave jamaica without partying.

Randi

The last few days were very strange for me. I would go to sleep and when i first woke up id forget about the whole being pregnant thing, then after a few minutes as i really woke up and started my day id remember and be momentarily terrified. I mean i was terrified the rest of the day too because i still had no idea how i felt other than scared and i couldn’t even share it with anybody because Cay didnt know and wasn’t here. China and Jada were staying here right now and, though Jada sort of knew, i hadnt confirmed anything after the positive test, i couldn’t talk to them about it.  The crazy thing is that i was actually scared to the core to tell him. I couldn’t rationalize why on earth id be scared. That morning when i woke up i decided to call Dr. Williams office to see if she had an opening, and she did. So instead of going to the salon first thing like i usually did, i went there.  

She looked like she was ready to pop. Seeing her so sure and confident in her pregnancy and clearly over joyed about the prospect of having a child, i couldn’t control myself, i spilled the news because i had to talk to someone.

“Thats definitely some news,” she said, giving me a soft smile.

“It feels weird saying it out loud,” i said, running my hand up and down my thighs.

“This is the first time you’ve told anybody?” She asked, surprised. I nodded. “So Cayden doesn’t know then.”

“No,” i said in a guilty tone. “I found out at a bad time, he was leaving for work and i didn’t wanna make him worry or feel like he had to stay, so i kept it to myself,” i said.

“That sounds pretty stressful on you, dealing with it all on your own,” she said sympathetically. I nodded, biting my lip. “How are you feeling about it, whats been going through your head?”

“I dont think im feeling the things im supposed to be feeling,” i explained.

“You dont have to feel a specific way, you’re allowed to feel your own emotions. You can always say the truth here,” she tilted her head to the side.

“But i don’t want something to be wrong with me,” i said.

“Why would something be wrong with you?” she wrote on her notepad.

“Because im not all excited and happy, im just terrified. I’m even scared to tell Cayden,” i sighed.

“Being scared is normal. This is a big change,” she pointed out. “Do you fear how Cayden will react?”  

“No,” i shook my head, “its not that. Im not sure what it is,” i played with my hair.

“Whats the worst thing you immagine happening,” she tried instead. I paused for a while, picturing me telling him.

“I think its more to do with me. I dont want him to see my fear and be upset by my reaction,” i scratched my arms. She nodded.

“You think Cayden won’t be understanding of your fears and concerns?”

“I dont know,” i shrugged.

“You’ve been together for how long now, has he given you reason to think he wouldn’t be understanding of your story and how things may feel a bit intense for you?” I shook my head.

“Then maybe you should give him a bit more credit and trust that you can confide in him,” she put a hand on my knee. I nodded. I knew she was right. The fears were all because i was in my own head too much. I knew i was also generally high strung when Cayden was far away from me.

“You’re right,” i said, dabbing at a single tear that had escaped. Why did she always have me crying in her office?

“You’re very brave, dont forget that. Give yourself a break. You are a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman…and you will make a terrific mother.”

When she said the last part i really lost it, i don’t know why. I took the tissues she offered me and we just sat in silence for a little while, since my hour was almost up anyway. Once the session was done she gave me a long hug and told me to come in any time. I thanked her and then left the office.

When i got back home i was emotionally drained and just tired all together. Jada invited me to watch a Romcom which was my favourite, but i needed to lay down so i flaked and went upstairs to sleep instead and Cayden ended up calling me an hour into my nap and we had a short but nice conversation. Hearing his voice and seeing his face lifted my spirits and also made my stomach flutter in a new strange way. I couldn’t believe i was one of those girls who couldn’t go a few days without seeing her man, but it was different once you were married. We truly functioned as a unit, and taking him away was taking away part of me. He encouraged me to get out of bed though and i washed my face before going to join my friends downstairs.

“How you doing?” Jada asked, looking at me a little too intensely.

“Im good. I had an intense therapy session, im always drained after talking to Dr. williams,” i explained.

“We got you some food, i was gonna bring it up but i didnt wanna wake you,” China said. “You should eat,”

“Im actually starving. What you get?”

“Fried rice, its in the fridge” she said. My mouth watered immediately and i ran to the kitchen. Suddenly i was happy and feeling good about life as i warmed my food and grabbed some cutlery. I brought it to the couch and Jada flipped through netflix finding a new movie.

“A walk to remember?” she asked.

“Too sad,” i said.

“Jumping the broom?”

“Yeah i like that one,” i nodded. She pressed play and i made myself comfortable.

Later on in the day, Ty did come by just like Cayden had said. I let him in and asked him if he wanted something to drink. He said sure and followed me to the kitchen. I got him a can of coke from the fridge.

“How you doing nugget?” he asked. “You look down.”

“Im alright, i didnt sleep a lot last night. Im just tired,” i said.

“Can’t sleep cause yo nigga gon?” he guessed. I stuck my tongue out at him. “Yall so extra.”

“Don’t act like you dont be all pissy when Cole not here. We all have to put up with you until he come back on the weekend.”

“I dont get pissy,” he said real quick, face serious as ever.

“Ok,” i said in a ‘sure’ tone. He sent me a mug and drank his coke. “So what did you need again?” i asked, having forgotten what Cay had told me i was supposed to give him.

“The key to Cayden’s office,” he said.

“Right. Ill go get it, be right back,” i said. He nodded. I got up and left the kitchen to go up to the bedroom. The key was in some safety deposit box with a pin but it was our wedding say so i knew it. I unlocked the box and got the key while also lurking at everything else. There was some money, a gun, some keys, and an envelope. I grabbed the envelope and opened it. It was a deed for the house that had, apparently, been updated to have my name on it beside his. I couldn’t help but smile. I had never asked him to do that. Cayden had bought this house all on his own way before me. It made my heart skip a beat seeing he added my name on a legal paper listing me as an owner of the property.

“I love you Cay,” i said to nobody. I put the letter back where id found it and locked the box back up. I left the room and started for the stairs, jogging down them because id kept Ty waiting when i got distarcted. I was wearing socks though, and the stairs were polished wood, so when i put my foot on the next step it slid all the way past the edge and threw me off balance. I let out a little scream as i  slipped and caught myself on the hand rail before i could go tumbling down the stairs.

“Fuck,” I said, my heart pounding. Ty was now at the bottom of the stairs. I took the rest of the stairs slowly. My hand had somehow ended up on my stomach in a very non random way, i guess to protect it.

“You good?” Ty said.

“Yeah,” I said, trying to calm myself. “That was really scary,” i ran my hand up and down my lower belly. He looked down at my hand which was still on my belly, making slow movements. He looked at me like I was weird at first then he seemed to put things together. I went red.

“Wait…” he said. I quickly removed my hand and wiped the nervous sweat on my jeans. “Are you knocked up?” I didnt answer right away so that about confirmed it.

“Please don’t say anything to anyone,” I begged, closing the sweater I had on. He chuckled.

“Oh shit,” he said, looking at me like he was seeing me for the first time.

“I haven’t gotten to tell Cayden yet so don’t tell him please. I know you’re his best friend but im begging you,” i said desperatly.  

“Don’t worry, I won’t” he said in an understanding tone.

“If he asks how i am just say im good. I dont wanna worry him,” i said. He nodded. “Thanks,” I said, handing him the key. He took it and I thought he was gonna leave but he wrapped one arm around me and pulled me into a hug. This was the most affectionate he had ever been with me. We had a very brother and sister relationship. I mean he would mess up my hair teasingly or choke hold me but this was a real, soft hug. I didn’t know what to do.

“Be careful on the stairs aight?” He said. I nodded. He pulled away. He nodded and then went out the door. I knew I had to tell Cayden. I would feel horrible if he found out from someone else. I promised myself that would be the first thing i did when he got home. I just had to wait a few more days, and not fall down any stairs.

[qitwrites]

happy birthday dearest @ryugazakkis ♥. here’s a small textfic from your precious oikuro college!au. Hope you have an amazing day ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒

Kuroo: we’re out of eggs

Oikawa: and?

Kuroo: buy some

Kuroo: youre out loafing anyway

Oikawa: first of all, fuck u

Oikawa: secondly, im not loafing, im buying our face packs for this weeknd

Kuroo: ok, understandably important business

Kuroo: but Bo is craving my omu rice

Kuroo: and theres no eggs in the fridge

Oikawa: fyn. u both owe me.

Oikawa: i need to walk an extra 468m to reach the grocery place

Kuroo: do i want to knw y u have such an accurate measurement of the distance?

Oikawa: ……

Oikawa: i get bored easily

Kuroo: u need new hobbies

Oikawa: once again, fuc k you

~

Oikawa: <link attached>

Oikawa: <link attached>

Oikawa: <link attached>

Oikawa: <link attached>

Kuroo: wtf is this

Oikawa: proof

Kuroo: of wat?

Oikawa: the existence of aliens you imbecille

Kuroo: im sorry, but im still not a believer tofu

Oikawa: traitor

Oikawa: y r we frnds?

Kuroo: because u love meeeeee

Oikawa: -.-

~

Kuroo: tooru

Oikawa: hmm?

Kuroo: i miss home

Oikawa: we get a break in two weeks

Oikawa: hang in there

Oikawa: im out rn

Oikawa: ill bring the ice cream

Kuroo: youre the best

Oikawa: i know

Kuroo: asshole

Oikawa: theres my tetsu-chan

Kuroo: <3

~

Oikawa: it’s fascinating, really

Kuroo: wat is

Oikawa: the way my face twists when someone says ushiwaka within 100 feet of me

Oikawa: bo snapped a pic

Oikawa: <image>

Kuroo: meme worthy

Kuroo: truly

Oikawa: honestly

Oikawa: the man manages to make beauty lyk mine look stale

Kuroo: that’s to say

Kuroo: u have any beauty at all

Oikawa: pfff

Oikawa: tetsu-chan please

Oikawa: ur a lot of things

Oikawa: and i mean A LOT

Oikawa: but blind is not one of them

Kuroo: ass

Oikawa: i don’t see u disagreeing

Kuroo: …….

Oikawa:  (✿´ ꒳ ` )

~

Kuroo: wat do u wanna watch 2night

Oikawa: well

Oikawa: im kinda in the mood for horror

Kuroo: i was thinking the sameee

Kuroo: saw 2?

Oikawa: yaaasss

Kuroo: also pizza

Kuroo: hawaiian or pepperoni

Oikawa: pepperoni pleasee

Kuroo: done done

Oikawa: thanks :*

~

Kuroo: oikawa

Kuroo: oikawa come on

Kuroo: tooru

Oikawa: i don’t wanna talk rn

Kuroo: i know it sucks to be fighting with iwa

Kuroo: bt just calm down and think abt it from his perspective

Kuroo: and dnt ever forget

Kuroo: he loves u

Oikawa: ……

Oikawa: i know

Oikawa: i just need time

Kuroo: i know

~

Oikawa: dnt forget

Oikawa: we’re running tomorrow @ 5:30

Kuroo: i hate u

Kuroo: every single cell in my body

Kuroo: prays fr your untimely demise

Kuroo: is the sun even up that early

Oikawa: .______.

Oikawa: tat’s the point u idiot

Kuroo: i hate u

Oikawa: im aware

Oikawa: ill knock on ur door til u wake up

Oikawa: just saying

Kuroo: ur existence is sevearly regretted @ the moment

Oikawa: dnt be late darling

Oikawa: u can thank me later

Kuroo: go to hell

Kuroo: preferably before 5:30 in the morning

~

Oikawa: KUROO-MOTHERFUCKING-TETSUROU

Kuroo: yes dear?

Oikawa: will u

Oikawa: fr the love of all that is good and pure

Oikawa: stop changing my bg’s

Oikawa: to posivitely atrocious selfies of urself????

Oikawa: i had to show my prof something on my cell

Oikawa: and that picture just blares up at us

Oikawa: and ive never felt so horrifyingly embarrassed

Oikawa: his eyes Kuroo

Oikawa: he looked so betrayed

Oikawa: his hatred for me in that moment

Oikawa: could prob burn a hole through wood

Kuroo: brb

Kuroo: crying so har d rn

Kuroo: ur prof saw?

Kuroo: omggg

Kuroo: ◝( ′ㅂ`)و ̑̑

Oikawa: rot in the depths of tartarus

Kuroo: just as long as u wont be there

Oikawa: 🖕

~

Oikawa: kuroo

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: correct me if im wrong

Oikawa: bt did u just walk into class in your kitty pajama bottoms?

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: wit ur hair unbrushed

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: without shaving or even remotely grooming

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: zombie mode activated?

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: alrighty the n

Oikawa: ill get u coffee wen your class is done

Kuroo: blessed

Oikawa: monosyllabic bastard

~

Kuroo: u doing anything for the upcoming long weeknd?

Oikawa: i wanted to go home

Oikawa: bt my parents already planned a trip

Oikawa: so no

Kuroo: ok then youre coming

Oikawa: where

Kuroo: bo and i have planned a road trip

Kuroo: call iwa too

Oikawa: that sounds like fuuuun

Oikawa: o(≧∇≦o)

Kuroo: i know 

Kuroo: ρ(￣ﾍ￣ ﾒ)

Oikawa: iwa says yessss

Kuroo: awesome!

Kuroo: don’t forget sunscreen this time

Oikawa: it happened ONE TIME TETSU

Oikawa: let it go

Kuroo: u were pink for a week and half

Kuroo: im neve r letting that go

Oikawa: go fuck a trumpet

Kuroo: tempting

Kuroo: bt no thanks

Oikawa: y haven’t I blocked u yet jezuz

Kuroo: u keep asking urself that

~

Kuroo: <voice note>

Oikawa: from all that screaming and yelping

Oikawa: im assuming bo wants curry?

Kuroo: yas

Kuroo: me 2 actually

Oikawa: do we have any ingredients/

Kuroo: uhhh

Kuroo: i think a moth just flew outta the cupboard

Oikawa: ……

Kuroo: yeah ill go shopping

Oikawa: good idea

Oikawa: and take that hyper active eternally hungry puppy wid u

Kuroo: his name is bo

Oikawa: just goo

Oikawa: shooo

Kuroo: going going

~

Kuroo: sometimes i wish

Kuroo: the aliens had taken u

Kuroo: wen we offered u to them

Oikawa: same kuroo

Oikawa: same

Oikawa: (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Kuroo: wanna try again ?? ???

Oikawa: we’re too sober

Kuroo: not if i can help it

Oikawa: ill bring the tequila

Kuroo: i approve

~

Kuroo: Tooru

Kuroo: it’s not your fault

Kuroo: no matter what you or anyone else says or thinks

Kuroo: it’s not your fault

Oikawa: i am weak

Oikawa: so pathetically weak

Oikawa: coach should fucking bench me

Kuroo: open the door

Kuroo: I have wine, chocolates and bubblewrap

Oikawa: …..

Oikawa: I love you.

Kuroo: I love you too.

Kuroo: youre good enough

Kuroo: dont doubt that

~

Kuroo: daisho’s resemblance to reptiles

Kuroo: makes me truly believe in the existent of mutants

Oikawa: well, he’s certainly

Oikawa: whats the wor d

Oikawa: slimy

Kuroo: bo wants to strangle him for touching kei-chan

Oikawa: ill join him

Oikawa: my poor iwa-chan is suffering wid him 2

Kuroo: ugh

Kuroo: i hate him

Oikawa: i know

Kuroo: bleh

Oikawa: Netflix and cuddle?

Kuroo: Netflix and cuddle

~

Kuroo: <missed call>

Kuroo: <missed call>

Kuroo: <missed call>

Oikawa: wt actua l FUCK

Oikawa: its 3 AM

Oikawa: y u do this

Kuroo: i want tacos

Oikawa: ok just to put this in context

Oikawa: u have woken me at ass oclock in the morning

Oikawa: 2 get fucking tacos

Oikawa: hve i forgotten anything?

Kuroo: and churros!!!

Kuroo: im craving something sweeeet

Oikawa: im gonna kill u

Kuroo: yeah yeah no prob

Kuroo: see u in 5

Oikawa: …….

Oikawa: i want chocolate filled ones

Kuroo: attaboy

~

Oikawa: i think the four extra months ive spent on this planet

Oikawa: has given me this undeniably invaluable insight of the world

Oikawa: im sorry u cant ever experience this kurooo

Kuroo: that’s alright

Kuroo: i see things in a way diff from u

Oikawa: how so????

Kuroo: i mean

Kuroo: i am 3.4 entire cms taller

Kuroo: the view is simply breathtaking

Oikawa: ……

Oikawa: fuck u

Kuroo: ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)

~

Oikawa: hey

Oikawa: wen u free?

Kuroo: i got tomorrow evening off

Kuroo: what’s up?

Oikawa: i wanna work on that spike wid u

Oikawa: also blocking practice with bo

Kuroo: im game

Oikawa: good

Oikawa: we need cooler hand signs too

Kuroo: tots agree

Kuroo: we’ll brainstorm alright?

Oikawa: sounds like a plan

Oikawa: ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)

~

Kuroo: code ET

Kuroo: i repeat

Kuroo: CODE ET

Kuroo: which means i am VERY sad

Oikawa: got it got it

Oikawa: ill meet u at the regular spot in 10

Oikawa: and ill bring bo

Kuroo: and my hoodie

Oikawa: and your hoodie

Kuroo: cookies and cream?

Oikawa: ye s plis

Oikawa: bo will have mint choco

Kuroo: got it

Kuroo: come fastly

Oikawa: almost there

~

Oikawa: just for 10 mins

Oikawa: ill only practice serves

Oikawa: i swea r

Kuroo: for the last time

Kuroo: NO

Kuroo: you are going to rest your knee till its better

Kuroo: even bo is mad this time

Kuroo: he wont let u on this court either

Oikawa: can i watch?

Kuroo: nope

Kuroo: focus on healin g

Kuroo: idiot

Oikawa: ……

Oikawa: im sorry

Kuroo: don’t be

Kuroo: we miss u too

~

Oikawa: i may not say this all the time

Oikawa: but your existence is appreciated Kuroo

Oikawa: thank u for coming into my life all those many years ago

Oikawa: and dealing with my stream of bullshit

Kuroo: likewise

Kuroo: <voice note>

Oikawa: pfff

Oikawa: tell bo I love him too

Kuroo: will do

Kuroo: oh bt w

Kuroo: Tooru?

Oikawa: yeah ?

Kuroo: i still don’t believe in aliens

Oikawa: F UCK YOU

Kuroo: I love you too

Kuroo: ♥♥

[ishqbaaaaz]

Ishqbaaaz - Sept 20/17 - Episode 372

Am I supposed to feel something for Pinky here because i really dont care

Shivaay is me

he literally doesnt give a fuck

LMFAO BYE

SHAKTI BROUGHT HER A CACTUS

THATS WHAT SUITS HER PERSONALITY

I AM DECEASED THIS IS AMAZING

shes getting all butt hurt

lmao how does it feel when someone insults you to your face BITCH

she left

Shivaay says its Om’s turn

hes like but my wife aint here

Gauri is heree

hes like IVE BEEN CALLING WHERE HAVE U BEEN

I am here for Concerned Omkara

Ok their challenge is for Gauri to find Om blindfolded

why is this version of lafzon ka yeh sound so weird LOL

THIS SHIT IS SO CUTE IM DYING

Om is SULKING

he is not having this haha

ok honestly im having so much michmichi right now

theyre like hitting her with pillows LOL

SHE FOUND HIM

LOOK AT THEM HOLDING HANDS

AND LOOK AT THAT SMILE ON HIS FACE

IM DYING THIS IS SO CUTE

HIS CHALLENGE IS TO SAY A SHAYRI FOR GAURI

IM GONNA BE SHOOKED I CAN FEEL IT

omg omg omg

THAT SHAYRI

WAS SO CUTE I CANNOT I CANNOT

i cant eve type it sorry bros im fucked up 

She said thank you properly and hes like huh??? and shes like i said thanku

Now its my bbys turnnnn

what is this cheating dadi

they both get one paper

they have to give each other a gift but it has to be from within the house

IS SHIVAAY’S GIFT GONNA BE HIM SAYING I LOVE YOU BECAUSE IMMA BE SHOOKED

oh nvm they have 2 mins 

oh theyre back already

she didnt bring anything

im confused

ANNIKA IS TAKING CONTROL I AM LOVING THIS ANNIKA

Her gift to him is her

shes giving him her all

THAT SHIT IS SO HOT

LOOK AT THEM SO HAPPY

His gift to Annika is Sahil’s custody papers

wait...didnt we already know this already?

Like she had the papers yesterday...

DID THEY FUCK UP THE EDITING??? LMAO BYE IM DYING THEY FUCKED UP

THEYRE ACTING AS IF SHE DIDNT HAVE THEM IN YESTERDAY’S EPISODE

this is a mess whats happening

but shit im down for all of these hugs

Fam photo what nerds

Forwarding swety

Bhavya is thinking of turning the rishta down

Why is Bhavya lying

BITCH YOU AND RUDRA HAVE SOMETHING OK

Rudy is in denial

Everyone is gathered waiting for dadi

i love what Annika is wearing

LOL Shivaay - while dadi isnt here we can forget about this 2 feet separation 

DADI IS COCKBLOCKING REAL HARD

7 DAYS LATER IS THE SHAAADIIII

its gonna be forever for us

BUT SHIT IM READY

Chunri and ring ceremony 

IM SHOOK FINALLY 

WAIT

WAIT

WHAT THE UC K

BHAVYA IS MARRYING THE DUDE???

WHAT TH FUCK

WHAT

OH MY GOD IT WAS RUDRA’S DREAM

THAT SHOOK ME UP OMG

Why is Rudra asleep when the functions start tonight

This uncle is their dadi’s most loyal employee

his daughter is getting married

OMG DOES THIS MEAN OUR COUPLES ARE GONNA GO TO A WEDDING

THAT ISNT THEIRS

YES LET ME SEE THE DRESSED UP YES AND ALL FLIRTY YES PLS THANK YOU

oh its in the gaon

Shivaay cant go

Om cant go

Rudra cant go

The bahus are gonna go LOL

THEY GONNA PROLONG THIS DAMN WEDDING THEYRE LEAVING 

they talking about the family’s izzat

oh man something is gonna happen at the wedding i can feel it

oh shit the wedding is today

they gotta be back before night

SOMETHING IS GONNA HAPPPPEN

Gauri is packing and hiding her english books

shes gonna text her teacher than she cant come to class

Why is she packing so many clothes babe you’re only going for the day LOL

Om is tryna talk to her and shes ignoring himmmm

HE SEES THE TEXT

HES LIKE WHO IS SHE TEXTING WHO IS SHE MEETING

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Annika is looking for her bracelet

Shivaay asks her whats wrong and shes like i cant find my bracelet

he sees it on the ground

LOL he tells her to check the other way

he picks it up off she ground

HE WONT GIVE IT TO HER

LOOK AT THEM ALL CUTE

I WANTED A SCENE LIKE THIS SO BAD

AND NOW I GET IT

what a smug bastard i love him

YOUR CHAND IS BEAUTIFUL BUT NOT MORE THAN MINE

GOODBYE FRIENDS

Hes being all sexy i cannot

Shes like fine keep it

he pulls her back

hes gonna put it on her oh my god fuck me UP

Im gonna parallel this to the first time he put her bracelet on her omg

intertwining their fingers 

i friggin LOVE when they do this

HES KISSING HER HAAAAAAAAAAAAAND

that was an awkward cut back to rikara lol

hes gonna help her zip her suitcase

why does om always look unimpressed lmao

hes staring at her 

he tells her she doesnt have to go if she doesnt want to

he believes a person should only do what they want to

OH YEAH OMKARA? WHAT ABOUT AFTER THE BUA MAA MESS AND SHE WANTED TO LEAVE AND YOU ASKED HER TO STAY

HOMEBOY CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF

Om just say it upfront that you dont want her to go bby

Oh this is because of the text she sent probably

shes like this means you never understood me

HE SAID YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD ME EITHER

these two are a damn mess

but i love them so much i dont even care

hes like if you dont say anything then how will i understand

she says even if i do you misunderstand me

lmao if that aint the truth

hes like i asked for forgiveness and shes like im not doing this for you to realize your mistakes

tbh what the hell is happening with these two

she says its good shes going for a few days because he’ll get a break from her

GAURI BOOBOOOOO

aww he looked hurt

im confused

theyre going for a few days? but isnt the function that night?? 

shes leaving

he tells her to have a safe trip

BACK TO SHIVIKA

what a kinky asshole

“dobara nahi karoon?”

hes still kissing her hand holy shit

she nods her yes but says no hahahah

i wanna parallel that too back when it was the memory loss days

hes bummed shes leaving after she just got back

hand holding ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

she starts to leave

he calls her

and throws a dupatta on her

lmao wth why did you do that

but i am TRASH for this stuff oh my god

HES GOING UNDER THE DUPATTA WITH HER

KISS HER YOU FOOL

HES LINKING THEIR HANDS

KISSING HER HANNNNNNDS UGH YES

Look at how hes looking at her

its so intense

KISS HER

OH GOD IF THIS SHOW WAS ON HBO WE WOULDNT HAVE THIS ISSUE

OH FUCK U GUYS

HOW DARE YOU END THE EPISODE LIKE THAT

THANK GOD TOMORROW IS A WEEKDAY

Precap: Annika says shes leaving early so she can come back early. Hes like you dying to marry me

“jiski hoon, uski hone ja rahi hoon” 

Today was such a good episode omg. Also a very long post forgive me i had so many emotions today

IMMA SEE YA’LL TOMORROW TO CONTINUE THIS AMAZING SCENE AHHH

[tumblunni]

OKAY!!! I am wearing my binder and then i am wearing my other binder on top of my binder and I am devouring all the binder safety tips and how to dress to cover up the lil bit of non-flatness that is always inevitably gonna be there and i am feeling VERY MORE CONFIDENT IN MYSELF AAAA and i kinda sent a kinda rambley sentimental thank you email to the customer service guy who helped me order the binder and AAAAA this is just a very good day and I say this even as im feeling lightheaded and resigning myself to a life of chest pains every single day like seriously, if you do it properly then it wont be unbearable or damaging or anything, but you’ve gotta respect the fact that choosing to bind is choosing to be rather uncomfortable, yknow? and its kind of a skill you have to learn, to be able to wear it for long enough to get through social situations and then not hate yourself when you have to take it off. Cos yeah seriously you can literally break your ribs and this happens A LOT because seriously it is a thing that stops your dysphoria so its fucking difficult to remember to take it off and rest in between uses. literally people have BROKEN THEIR RIBS! literally! THEIR FUCKING RIBS! Or cut giant gashes in their flesh or been unable to breathe or even unable to EAT because its just THAT tight! And I dont mean to scare anyone off with that stuff, it only happens if you bind improperly, but honestly its really tempting to bind improperly just to get better compression on the chest. there isnt really a binder yet that makes you look 100% cis and works the same for every single chest size. And I mean its not gonna be peaches and rainbows impossible to feel it, even if you get the right size! its binding your literal ribcage, its gonna make you short of breath and its gonna be hard to forget it’s there. And you’re gonna be living like at like a 75% athletic potential compared to everyone else. I know i couldnt have been able to bind during my school years, i would have been constantly worried about outing myself by fainting during gym class! So yeah just... I admire people who are able to bind for their whole life. I admire people who can look handsome as hell doing it, instead of like a horrible lump like me! And I’ll admit im a little worried i wont be able to put up with this kind of comittment, that I’ll wimp out cos its too difficult to get used to. But really seriously SERIOUSLy it is fuckin worth it! its so fucking worth it and ive waited so long. i’m not terrified to go outside tomorrow, i wanna find some sort of excuse to take a walk and see if i can get used to wearing this in public! I dunno yet if i’ll feel more or less anxious about people looking at me? i mean im gonna look more openly nonbinary and all, so its a bit nervewracking knowing im a clearer target for trasphobes. I guess thats always the fear of coming out of the closet, but being inside it is terrifying and demeaning too :P I just hope that someday I can like.. look like myself without ALSO having to associate it with a crushing weight on my chest and a huge list of medical tips to avoid disaster. I hope someday I can get top surgery and be able to just relax, though again I mean surgery isnt an instant solution, you have to endure through the rehibilitation progress and all. It can be demotivating to know you just have to keep working for years and years but at least ive made the first step! and the light at the end of the tunnel will be there someday! ...oh man i hope someday i’m confident enough to bring up the subject again with my social worker though. I’ve tried talking to her like twice and im always on the verge of tears and then its like i never even said anything. She still keeps calling me ‘miss’ and like.. im reaching out for help and all she’s said is ‘well we should work on your depression first before we talk to the doctor about that’. But like.. i kinda.. might be.. a bit less depressed if I could talk about my gender?? mannn im just frickin glad i know friends on tumblr who’re more educated about transgender stuff, otherwise i never would have learned. never even would have known that there were words for what i feel, never would have felt welcomed enough to even ask for help. Man, the real pressure on my chest is the feeling of trying to come out of the closet to a goddamn medical professional! That felt like a heart attack! XD so.. yeah.. im just.. very sentimental right now thanks everybody for supporting me! I’m kinda due to take this thing off now and have a two hour break, so im gonna go have a blazing hot shower and try dyeing my hair that colour i love, and then take a selfie of the new and fabulous me! with my still kinda gross horrible far-from-passing chest, but at least its 40% less female than before! :D

[5hfanfiction]

Only Words Bleed (Chapter Six)

Camila’s POV

“Wait…what?”

I now sat straight, disbelieving that I had finally admitted what I felt. I smiled vaguely and gave Dinah a minute to let it all sink in.

“What do you mean ‘he’s not Lauren’?”

“I literally mean that Connor is not Lauren.”

“Oh my god, Mila! You like Lauren?”

“Sssshhh…don’t let the world hear you. Quiet.”

“How can I remain silent when my best friend finally likes a person?! I better call the Vatican cause this shit is important,” she shouted while standing up.

“I need to tell Mani and Ally…they’ll be stoked.”

“What?! Hey - no. I’m not ready to tell anyone.”

“You told me.”

“Well, yeah cause you forced it out of me.”

“Mila, this is huge!”

I shrugged. “Maybe…but don’t get too happy about it.”

Dinah frowned. “How do you not exp- ”

“Lauren’s dating Connor, Dinah. She’s very happy.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Uh, yes I do. She told me herself.”

“What did she say exactly?”

My mind began to remember. “Um, she said that she didn’t wanna label herself as his "girlfriend” just yet but when she’s around him she feels happy.“

Dinah seemed to be considering the information. "So they’re not really dating?”

“No. But that doesn’t mean I can just swoop in and steal his girl.”

“Lauren’s not anybody’s girl. Yet. If you don’t do anything, and fast, Connor will.”

“I know you’re right. But I just can’t bring myself to say anything. I literally lose my cool when she talks or when we’re together.”

“Aaaaw, lovesick Camila is back. I’ve missed her.”

Dinah sat down on the bed. “So. Tell me how it started.” Dinah requested.

Sighing, I said, “Well, I don’t really know. I’ve been having these feelings for a really long time but I think last night, when we were together, my heart kinda confirmed it.”

Dinah nudged my shoulder. “What happened last night?”

“Nothing. We were just talking about my favourite book and just hearing her talk made me happy. And then I realised why.”

Dinah smiled. “What are you gonna do?”

“I really don’t know. If I tell her it could potentially ruin our friendship. If I don’t I’ll die.” Camila shrugged.

“Well then, let’s go get your girl.”

“How do you mean?”

“We’re gonna hang out. The five of us. I wanna see if there’s any chemistry or 'sparks’.”

“What - now?”

“No, in 2020. Yes, now!” Dinah pulled her from the bed and walked her over to the door.

“Ugh, fine. But we’re getting pizza.”

Dinah trudged while I stopped in the doorway. Dinah asked her what I was doing. “I’m texting her.” The blush was evident on my cheeks.

C: HEY! dinah has called an emergency hangout…come to the pizza place(:

L: hallo! why am i not surprised lemma say goodbye to connor and ill be there

Annoyingly, I frowned at the text and showed it to Dinah. Dinah also gave an apologetic smile.

C: kay dont be late like you often are

L: excuse me? ill have you know im very puntual

C: hmm see why dont i believe you

L: im on my way to shut you up

C: ooh so scared mom help

And we were off, arms linking and laughter echoing.

-

We sat at our usual booth, Dinah making sure no one sat next to me. I rolled eyes at her, scared that the way she was acting was a bit too obvious. Normani and Ally were busy conversing while Dinah kept looking at the door.

As Lauren came in, Dinah nodded to me and made space for her. “Took you long enough,” Dinah stated.

“Yeah, sorry I was with Connor,” Lauren said while sighing. Dinah and I exchanged a look.

“You know I’ve been wondering…”

“Wait, so Dinah Jane thinks now, too?” Normani joked. “Lord the apocalypse is upon us.” This caused everyone at the table to giggle, Ally especially.

“Shut up, Mani. Anyways, Lauren. What’s going on with Connor?”

“What do you mean?”

Before Dinah could respond Ally started humming: “What do you mean? Oh oh…when you nod your head yes but you wanna say no…”

“Excuse my friend Ally, she’s very theatrical,” Normani laughed.

“Oh, I can tell,” Lauren smiled before continuing, “Connor and I are not dating. Pretty sure Camz told you. We’re just, uh, seeing things as they are.”

“Camz?” Dinah questioned.

I  rolled my eyes again. “Yeah, Camila…Camz. Pretty similar, no?” Lauren admitted.

Dinah nodded. “Interesting.”

“Okaaay! Why don’t we order, huh?” I intervened.

“Yes please, I’m starving!” Ally chimed, signalling a waiter.

-

After eating, all of us headed back to Normani’s house. We had reached and were standing on the patio. Lauren turned to me with an exasperated sigh. “Your friends are hard to keep up.”

“Yeah, they are aren’t they?”

She smiled. “Well, I have to go now. Parents have their anniversary and Taylor and Chris are bugging me to come early.”

“Why?”

“We’re planning a romantic night for them. It’s a bit too extra if you ask me because they’re already out on a romantic dinner.”

“Aw that’s cute. I’ll see you later, then?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

As Lauren went off, I walked inside to the room where all three girls were in.

-

Narrative

The next day, after her parents’ dinner, Lauren went over to Connor’s house. He had invited her to 'hang out’ but Lauren felt nervous nevertheless. She always felt nervous around people. She wasn’t proud of it.

“Hey!” Connor greeted her with a kiss.

“Heyy,” she said and sat down. “Playing Call Of Duty as usual?”

“Ah, you know the drill. I have to complete at least one mission daily.”

“Right. So what am I going to do?”

“Oh, silly. I’m not going to play now. I’ll play it later.”

“That’s…very considerate of you.”

“Well, I am a very considerate guy.” Connor brought her into a kiss. In a short while Connor had Lauren lying on the bed, biting her neck vigorously.

“Connor, stop.”

“Oh, come on Lauren.”

“Please- I, I can’t.”

“We’ve been going out for a while now. It’s time.”

Lauren pushed him off of her. “You can’t decide when it’s time. I told you I’m not ready.”

“Still?”

“This isn’t something that you can do on a deadline, you know. I need time.”

“I gave you time. It makes me nervous that it’s taking you long.”

“What? Why?”

“Cause I fear you don’t like me enough.”

“That’s not true and you know it. I just need more time.”

“Stop saying that. It’s not helping.”

“Well then, what will?”

“Look, Lauren. I want to be with you. If you don’t then just say so.”

“I do.”

“Really? I can’t see any effort.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to show my effort.”

“Either you are my girlfriend or not.”

“That’s it, then? No in-between?”

“No.”

And with that Lauren took her cue to leave. She tried hard not to let tears fall but she had just experienced her first 'heartbreak’.  How could she not cry? She took to her safe haven, wanting to find some solace - that is, the library.

Camila’s POV

As usual I was sitting in the library. The girls had gone home after a while but I headed back here to read a bit. I was in my spot, reading 'The Book Thief’. There was a quote that struck to me like the waves of an ocean: “My heart is so tired.” Its so simple but equally powerful. All of a sudden I heard a voice; it startled me but when I looked to see who it was I smiled.

“At least someone’s in a happy mood.”

“What can I say? This place makes me happy.” I said while Lauren sat down next to me.

“Cool. It makes me happy, too.”

“But you’re not happy now, are you?”

“Not really..,” she sighed.

“What happened?” I gazed at her face trying to read her expression. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Connor and I 'broke up’. I mean we weren’t dating but like, it’s totally off now.”

I tried not to show my pleasure. I’m not sure if it worked. “Oh, Lauren I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s literally nothing.”

“You’re hurting. It’s something.”

“I guess because it’s the first time this has happened to me. I’ve never been with anyone before.”

“I understand.”

We sat there in silence for a while. As I continued reading I felt a head on my shoulder. I looked up to see Lauren resting; she was crying. I could feel her tears. “Hey, hey. Lauren.”

I stroked her hair, hoping to calm her. “It’s okay. Don’t worry,” I held her face in my hands. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I just- I don’t know what to feel.”

“You’re not supposed to feel anything. Just forget it. You’re going to be okay. I’m here.”

“So tell me what happened.” I said gently, after she stopped sobbing.

She cleared her throat as I lifted the book from the floor. “Basically I went to his house cause he said he wanted to hang out. We talked and he kissed me,” Lauren explained.

“But then it got serious so I told him that I wasn’t ready yet. In short, he gave me an ultimatum: either I be his girlfriend or I leave.”

My heart shook at the admission. “So you left.”

“Yeah, I left. What else could I do?”

“You did the right thing. You shouldn’t rush into this. It doesn’t require a deadline; it needs a lot of time, you know.”

“Exactly what I said.”

“How do you feel?”

“Well, not great. But better, I guess.”

I smiled. “Because of you,” Lauren said truthfully.

“You know I’ve realized that ever since we became friends my life has gotten bigger. In, like, terms of everything. I mean I made new friends, I had enough courage to talk to a boy and I finally found a mutual. You know what I mean?”

“Oh, stop it Lauren. That was all you.”

“Maybe. But I just want to say thank you.”

“Well, you’re welcome.”

“Oh my god you’re reading my favorite book. What part are you on?”

I looked down at the neatly placed book between my legs and remembered that I was, in fact reading. I cleared my throat. “Yeah! I’m at that part where the Mayor’s wife lets her into her library.”

“Ooh that’s where things get interesting.”

“Shut up, don’t ruin it for me.”

“I won’t, I won’t. I get how you feel.”

“Do you?”

“Totally. I remember once I was reading Allegiant and I was almost finished, right?”

I nodded. “And then my stupid friend so very selfishly told me that Tris dies in the end.”

“Hey! Spoiler alert.”

“Oops, sorry. I didn’t know okay?”

“Yeah-yeah.”

“So are you gonna go home soon?” I asked.

“Um, in a while. I just want to get some reading done.”

“Oh. Well I should go now. My mom’s probably freaking out.”

Lauren nodded in understanding. “See you tomorrow, Camz,” she said as I stood.

“Bye, Lauren,” I returned.

As I was walking away Lauren spoke, “Hey, Camila?” I faced her.

“Thank you.”

I was shocked. I started walking towards her while saying, “For what?”

Having sat back down, Lauren muttered,“For being there. For me.”

“Yeah, of course,” I smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“And thank you too.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Me? What for?”

“For becoming my friend. For coming into my life because it’s become better with you in it.”

I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and gently stroked her cheek. I could feel her shivering at the touch but I kept my hold strong.

“I think I should say the same.”

I stared into her beautiful, spellbinding green eyes and she looked politely at mine. Seeing her in the dark made me lose all my conscious as I had no idea what propelled me to lean in. I closed my eyes when I watched her shut hers. There seemed be such a little distance between us but it still felt like a thousand miles apart. In a gentle touch my lips met hers and I pulled her in. I didn’t want to come out too fierce or forceful so I kissed her as slowly and as gracefully as I could. She hesitated at first but gave in nevertheless.

Her lips felt so perfect against mine. I felt her hand moving to grasp my neck for support and my hands moved down to her waist. Our bodies were attached to the bookshelf behind us; our hips and abdomens were in soft contact. I tried to pick up the pace and realized that Lauren was giving me full access to do so. I humbly put my tongue in her mouth and bit her bottom lip. I couldn’t help but hear a small moan from her. I was shocked to feel her biting my own lips after I granted her access.

I was enchanted. I didn’t know that there was heaven on earth. Was there? I didn’t want to think much and all I wanted was to continue kissing this beautiful girl in front of me. My conscious told me to stop immediately but my heart and my lips ached for more…

I started pulling away. “Uhm, I-I’m sorry.” I said completely out of breath.

Lauren hadn’t fully recovered from this too as I sensed her breathlessness. “No, I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have done that,” I shrieked as I forced my body to stand up.

“No, no it’s okay. I’m sorry too,” Lauren had stood up now too.

I shrugged in panic. As I was about to respond I heard my phone ring. It was my mom. “Yeah, yeah I’m almost there.” I looked at Lauren. She looked so elegant and as much I as didn’t want to, I had to return home. “I’m sorry - that was my mom. I have to be home.”

I saw her nodding right away and I offered a sweet, I’m-sorry-I-kissed-you-out-of-nowhere-but-I-wanted-to smile and walked in the opposite direction. I heard her say, “It’s okay. I’m sorry.”

“Bye, Lauren,” I chipped and exited the door.

During the way my head was running a million miles. Had I really done that? If so, when the hell did I become so confident in doing that? Maybe because it’s Lauren, I thought. It felt…enchanting, I repeated this feeling in my head as I carried on. 

A/n: finally tho! The story is progressing…I have a lot of stuff on my mind so stay tuned, loves! I hope you’re liking it so far because I honestly have nooo idea…would definitely appreciate feedback(:

The recent events have everyone depressed and shook. We’re all hurting right now and it’s taken a toll on us. I’ve been a fan for quite some time now and I just want to say that it will take time. I started this story as an interest which is why I will keep writing for as long as I want to because if you enjoy it, what’s the harm, right? Take care and Happy New Year!