#dont risk it lads
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Cal in a natural history museum. Can he see the memories of the dinosaurs (or you know, insert Star Wars equivalent)?
I'm so sorry to be the one ruin ur new year like this but most dinosaur skeletons in museums are casts, not real skeletons ):
#most dino skeletons r incomplete and they dont want to risk damaging the skeleton w hanging/leaving it out on display#i think cal can't directly read organisms tho im fairly sure he can only do it thru touching their idk clothes or their object#but that means he should totally be able to read OBJECTS at museums#take that lad to the fashion museum on naboo and he's giving u random details of long-dead queens#thanks for the ask!
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actually fucj my life dude
I TRIED DRAWING MUSCLES ON HIM AND DIED do not look. it was so scary.sorry
#scratchpad#dude i dont even wanna tag this#im risking it.whateverr#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#bellringer#THATS IT. NO MORE#im so scareeedddd#my face was burning hot when i was drawing it#i feel like a lad 200 years ago seeing a fair maidens ankle
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i am SCREAMING that episode was fucking INSANE holy shit
#doctor who#like no spoilers but jesus fucking christ WHAT??#like i totally loved it but oh my GOD#i feel like i've experienced every emotion ever lol#will probs wait until the ep airs on tv before i reblog stuff about it#cos i rly dont wanna risk anyone seeing spoilers cos LADS ... holy shit
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#in regards to the oceangate drama#i never like laughing at anyones death so to speak and i cant imagine how that poor lad who is only 19 must have been feeling trapped on t#submarine with his dad and other strangers#in such a tight space with no way of getting out from the inside way deep under the sea#wouldn't wish it on anybody#but i do blame the billionaires who knew the risk they were taking with such a sketchy company#watched a documentary where another rich lady said how she been in the same sub and how it had been very touch and go#and that at the beginning of each trip there is a small print sign saying people need to know the risk of never coming back#so part of its on them and on the company for not having the proper equipment and checks#however im also in the believe that the titanic is a GRAVEYARD and it should be well left alone and not a tourist site#its why i dont like these celebrity graveyards in america and there is on in london#i just dont get it#it never appealed to me#even ordinary folks would just go to a famous dead persons grave and take pictures of it#i think the dead should be left alone#also this submarine was UNCERTIFIED
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If anyone's in the market for an official 2023 SPN calender I am now the proud owner of 3 courtesy of myself, @drunknoah and my mum. Fuck me.
#i bought myself one purely bc the 2021 one was comically bad and i missed the laugh we had flipping it every month#clearly beth had the same idea for me and my mum had heard me mention needed a new calender so was trying to get me a nice suprise#so now i have three!#i thought about putting one up at work but theres no chance im risking a conversation about spn with my very normal coworkers#also can we talk about the cover bc whats going on there lads? S6 Ssmmy S2ish dean that black trenchcoat cas that they use on EVERYTHING#and then crowley front and centre#dont get me wrong i love crowley but its such a weird cover#ive purposefully not looked at the months other than january just to make sure it was bad and it looks like its quotes from the show along#with the pictures so we're in for a treat every month godbless#i almost choked laughing last week when i got the one from beth so unwrapping the one this morning from my mum almost finished me off
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AM I HAVING A FUCKING STROKE?!
or did Rishi Sunak really basically just admit IN FRONT OF THE WORLD that taking the UK out of the EU was a terrible decision? Also what I heard: "This country we took but dont acknowledge until it benefits us is in the best position in the world in terms of access to the market"
#Rishi Sunak#Ah lads looks like the Uk remembers we exist again for the benefits of exploitation#Cause mark my words thats whats gonna happen. We now benefit the Uk to exist in the Uk#I mean dont get me wrong our political system is an absolute SHAMBLES too but JFC talk about shooting yourself and your party in the foot#british politics#Brexit#Northern Ireland#I might... just move back to Northern Ireland lads#Níl aon tinteán mar do thinteán fhéin#HEY MA! IM COMING HOME MA!#If you cant tell... im conflicted.#I'm happy Northern Ireland is apparently in a good position well see how long that lasts now England is acknowledging us again#but I'm also hella salty over BOTH countries politics#We only ever get mentioned by the british government when it suits them and I refuse to be 'something good' a torry did after all the years#of pure bullshittery#cant even spend UK STERLING in England without being treated like a criminal#Not to mentiion the sheer bullshittery of 'we only post to the uk' and then being told Northern Ireland isnt part of the UK WHEN IT CLEARLY#FUCKING IS CAUSE I FUCKING GREW UP IN THE TAIL END OF WHAT HAPPENED AFTERWARDS!#AND THATS JUST SURFACE LEVEL PETTY SHIT THATS HAPPENED!#Good Friday agreement at risk anyone?#northern ireland protocol#No one remember?#Northern Ireland has so much potential and the tories will do their best to bleed us dry#we havent much more to give you sir#just fuck off and sort out the cost of living crisis please#Stay in your own fucking lane and sort THAT shit out#I had so many rant tags I've just discovered Tumblr has a limit given over half of them were deleted from the post XD#Long story short YAY Northern Ireland now please leave us alone Rishi#Just to be clear... I love England. Its the Tories and the government that are grinding my fucking gears right now
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LOST A BELOVED ARTICLE OF CLOTHING INCIDENT HUNDREDS KILLED THOUSANDS INJURED
#nebbles talks#IVE LOST MY FNAF HOODIE ZIP UP NOOOOOOOO#IT WAS THE COOL ONE THAT WAS LIKE A MOCK SECURITY EMPLOYEE UNIFORM 😭😭😭#I AM SOOOO DEVASTATED THAT WAS MY ABSOLUTE FAV I CANNOT BELIEVE ITS GONE#i for the love of god cannot even find anywhere to buy a replacement for it either#it was a hot topic series from like 2012-2013 and im pretty sure they dont even make em anymore ;~;#the only thing i can find is a shoddy potential spam shop that has it listed for like 70$#but for obvious reasons i dont wanna risk spending the 70 bucks on a online shop thats almost 99.9% for sure a scam shop#im utterly devastated lads my heart is absolutely broken </3
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Husband!König has many piercings, some he regrets some he admires himself from getting.
Getting in military after many years of bullying gave him lots of confidence, you can see it. From his lines in game you can understand how cocky and sure of himself he is. He’s a colonel now yes, but he was younger too. I believe he got to hookup more from his 19’s to his late 20’s, this gave him a possibility to discover himself, what he liked and to actually explore himself as a young adult. I believe he has had a brow piercing, the hole almost totally closed because he decided it was too risky keeping one on the field (image he actually rips it off because it gets stuck in something;-; ewwww) He just took it off and never really thought about putting it back in.
Classic but I do image him having a tongue piercing. Like listen, we know König eats pussy for pleasure, he would be okay with only feasting on your pussy for the rest of his life if he could choose to. So ofc, when he started to watch porn and noticed many actors having piercings, and how hot il looked while they ate pussy, he just went with it and got one. The fact that he actually went to a piercer instead of just asking Nikto for help by sticking a mf needle in his tongue and risking an infection, is actually pure luck, because our König is also a proud mf, he takes pride in being good at anything, And why wouldn’t he be able to stick a needle in his own tongue alone! (Thank god Nikto was the one to persuade him, he would’ve gotten an infection).
NOW, König has a big cock, we all know it, he knows it, everyone knows it. And how can his big attributes be highlighted if not by some downstairs piercings??? He’s got one on his tip, unfortunately removed due to the discomfort it gave him by constantly rubbing against his TOO TIGHT pants (whore). BUT DONT BE SAD! He once stumbled across a stack of porn magazines, they were old fashioned ones, probably from late 90’s, depicting naked man and women on each and every page (lol ofc they were porn magazine.)
A model in particular captured his attention, his soft dick resting on the side of a thigh, he could see the small piercings along the under part. Thank god König is also a tech genius, he works with advanced technology every day, so a silly and fast google search brings him to what he is looking for, that strange piercing’s name. Yes everyone, a Jacob’s ladder ;). He’s got one, his dick all hot and bothered form the moment he saw that model’s picture, because he was sure that it would feel SO GOOD to be inside a nice hot pussy, feeling how after each and every thrust the piercings would drag around the insides of a girl, making a moaning mess out of her.
Yes he got one, and he was very careful with it, König is a pretty clean lad, he may not have a skincare, may not use fancy lotions and shampoos, but he knows his routine, he keeps himself clean, even more now that he got the piercings. Well I think he got them in his 30’s, he was already mature enough to understand if he could or couldn’t take care of such an important body modification, and he went for it. He got it done when he knew he’d have the most time off from work, where he knew he could spent at least a few months outside the base and actually be able to care for the wound. Very sexy mature choice woof woof bark bark snarl gnawn
He has a failed lip piercing guys, if got ripped off when a bullet hit his face and scarred a bit of his lips, destiny wanted for the bullet to be deviated exactly by his lip piercing. He’s got a bit of a trauma now, refusing to get another one, but still grateful that the first one kinda saved his life and his face from the possibility of a fucking hole being planted inside of it. He was so sexy too, you have seen a pic (yes a pic, I never see anyone talking about how they actually have technology incorporated in their lives! They take pics guys! Like boomers probably, but they do!) you may try to convince him to get one again, and who knows, maybe he’ll actually consider, but only because YOU asked!! Image now the contrast of his tongue piercing and his lip one while he eats you out, woof woof bark, I’d faint.
#cod x reader#cod#cod mwii#konig cod#konig smut#konig x reader smut#konig x reader#konig call of duty
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Marti it is Moss *does small dance* sending in a Hobbit imagine should it strike your fancy to answer. If not feel free to delete you come first and foremost! Your blog is always a delight and i read everything you post like its the morning newspaper.
Im wondering if you would write a hobbit headcanon for a reader who uses a mobility aid like forearm crutches!
I myself use forearm crutches (named Catcher and Holder a la Dwalin) for dizziness and weakness due to neurological issues, but there are many reasons for their use from joint pain to hypermobility. Sometimes people use them all the time and other times they are only used when they have flare ups (some have to have them available all the time in case of The Return tm)
Sometimes you use one and sometimes you use two. All depends on condition severity, needs,what youre doing, and preference
Even when you have a flare up you may not prefer to use them for short distances ie in your house some people choose not to. I use mine on the steps unless im doing something hazardous and dont want to risk a fall (and be able to walk in general)which ive become prone to over the last two years.
You still live your life and do what you do sometimes its a bit different other times its not. Sometimes you have a stick or two.
You can make a lot of fun decorations and functional tools like cupholders and pouches for your crutches and stickers make them unique and customizable. Honestly the biggest challenge for me is mugs and stairs+ other two handed tasks 😩 let me see someone smack a warg protecting their bestie and then lament not planning their cuppa retrieval rofl.
Im wondering how our lads would have a time with this- not acceptance wise as i know Dwarves are very accepting. More along lines of shenanigans wholesome fun bonding the good daily stuff that you write so beautifully and capture each one of them so well!
Thank you so much and if you have any questions please feel free to reach out
🌿🏹moss🏹🌿
Hello Moss 🥰💚 OMG Catcher and Holder that's perfectttt! Sorry this post is so fuckin long in the making but hopefully you enjoy it and this captures it well! I confess I don't personally use a mobility aid at this time so I may not have the greatest frame of reference 😅 but yeah I hope you like these little moments! *does small exit dance in return*
Warnings: canon typical violence in some
Thorin's Company + Reader With Mobility Aids
Balin
“Might I ask who built that?” Polite as ever, Balin motioned to the chair upon which you had affixed a pair of wheels. “I did,” you answered, “I was the only person in my little village who needed something like this.” “Well, you are quite the craftsman. Would that you had no ties to your hometown and the Lonely Mountain could snap you up! You could see those skills built up tenfold.” “R-really? I came here to Laketown for something just like that! But I’ll confess I think you will be a far better teacher.” Winking, you gave Balin a smile he mirrored. “You’re resilient. Smart as a whip, too! It would be my honor.” “And after all,” you added, “If anyone would know how to mount a crossbow on the arms, it would be dwarves!” At that, even as polite a dwarf as Balin could hardly help bursting into a wicked grin.
Dwalin
“Nice axes.” “Forged them myself,” Dwalin answered with a nod, “Grasper and Keeper. One grasps your soul, the other keeps it.” “How funny,” you remarked, raising your forearm crutches, “I call these Catcher and Holder. Same idea only with the body. Suppose that isn’t nearly as impressive, though.” “Impressive?” Dwalin burst out. “We’ve all got our battle scars. Our wounds. Never be ashamed of that. The fact that you’re still up ‘n’ going? Be proud. I can show you plenty o’ scars myself!” At that last bit, Dwalin began lifting up his tunic to reveal toned skin paled in some places and darkened in others by all manner of scars and at that, you couldn’t help shyly laughing. Proud indeed.
Thorin
Yes, the king had not denied you entry into his company when Gandalf had recommended you, but he had raised and furrowed his regal brow in the skeptical look all but branded into your mind. He’d asked Gandalf if he was certain, and from then on the fire in your heart blazed. Certainly Thorin treated you as an equal, giving you the tasks he gave all others, but he had been yet to see you in battle and you knew that was where your proof would solidify. In fact, the first time wargs closed in upon you, you were one of the first to run back at them. Hearing the way Thorin called your name, but thoroughly ignoring it in favor of landing a solid crack upon the nearest adversary's skull. Luckily your body was having a better day anyway despite all the walking, because you spun and smashed your way through the orc pack, especially once you saw the way one bowled Bofur and Dori over. Fire took over your heart and eyes as you swung your mace until you could swing no more, all but deaf to the cracking of heads and the clattering of your allies’ blades through that pounding adrenaline. At the end of it all, Thorin approached you, his expression surprisingly mild. Then it broke into a smile. “The wizard was right about you,” he told you, clapping a hand to your shoulder, “Invaluable in all respects indeed.”
Oin
“Oh, that’s clever, that is!” “My eyes are up here,” you quipped, crossing your arms and smiling sardonically down at the dwarf bent over peering at your wheels. At that, Oin tilted his head up to look back at you, giving a raucous heh heh heh of laughter. “Never seen anything like this lot before,” he commented, shaking his head and running a hand over the frame of your chair, “You’d think dwarves’d be the first to make ‘em! ‘S beautiful.” Your lips parted wordlessly for a few moments before you spoke, head still slightly tilted. “Beautiful?” “Course!” Oin replied, smiling widely as he rose to his feet again. “A real beauty for sure. A marvel, actually. It is quite the privilege to get to see it in action!” “No one has ever told me that before,” you replied quietly, a smile spreading across your lips.
Gloin
Orcs rushed you from every side, sending you scrambling as fast as your crutches could support you. Carrying a sword aside it all was about as unwieldy as one imagined, but you knew no different. In fact, your best strike that fight had nearly taken a whole arm off. Catching sight of you, though, the nearest of your blood-spattered adversaries grinned and gave a savage kick, sending your crutches flying from beneath you. Teetering, you pitched forward, trying to catch yourself with one arm and steady your sword with the other as the shout rang out. “You think you’re so clever, you great filthy buzzard? I don’t think so!” With a savage growl of his own, Gloin flew into the fray, and with a violent swing of his axe the orc’s head was sent unceremoniously tumbling to the dirt. “Serves ‘m right, eh?” Gloin asked with a smug look as he extended a hand, helping you up, handing you your crutches, and even gently dusting you off.
Bifur
You had seen the way he glanced your way. How his eyes traced the lines of the crutches extending from your forearms, the extensions of steel that made walking less painless. And running more painless if you were a charging warg on the receiving end of a bash to the face. Bifur had seen the way you slid your arms free to motion and sign to him, indicating the interesting things seen along the road. If you had a tendency to go nonverbal, he would aid you in removing your crutches when you needed to sign. Such things had been floating in your mind when you sat by his side, asked him if he understood in a way. You certainly felt understood in his presence, after all. Bifur glanced away with haste, but still you caught notice of tears in his dark eyes, just for a moment. A moment before the smile spread across his face and he leaned in, gently resting his forehead against yours- carefully, of course, so you barely felt the brush of the axe against your joined skin.
Bofur
“Bofur!” Uncaring how earsplitting your scream may have been, you charged forward, heaving one leg before the other as fast as you could while still keeping a hand on your walker. Which was faster than even you realized, sped by adrenaline and rage and urgency all pounding through your ears. Loading your crossbow again and again, you fired three successive shots into the assailant’s side, shoulder, and finally with the last you struck his ugly head and knocked him down onto his ass. For good. Sighing heavily, you leaned for just a moment on your walker frame before making your way to Bofur’s side, this time at a less painful pace, and turned it around to take a seat. Leaning down, you reached for his hand. “Bofur, are you alright?” “I am thanks to you,” he chuckled, his hazel eyes fixed upon you fondly, “Maybe I need to get myself one of those. Seems to aid the aim, having something to lean on.” Grinning and blinking back tears, you procured a cloth and a strip of bandage and started to dab away the blood on his shoulder.
Bombur
“Hope this isn’t rude…” You were surprised by the sound of Bombur's soft voice coming from your side, turning from the journal you wrote in and setting your implements aside. A part of you wanted to roll your eyes, well aware of all the 'not rude' inquiries you'd received over the years as to why you carried crutches, especially if some days you did not. However, knowing this one came from sweet Bombur softened you. He actually meant it. "...But what's the hardest part of having those?" You couldn't resist a snicker at the thought that immediately rose to your mind. "You'd really like to know?" "Yes," he nodded, "If I may." With another little snort, you smiled and told him, "Mugs." "Mugs?" "Mugs and stairs. Can't tell you the number of times I've spilled on my way up. Anything that takes two hands, really." "I see!" The conversation ended with Bombur's eyes lighting up. At least you thought it had ended... Several days later, he came shuffling up to you with that same sweetly eager glint and his hands behind his back. "I've made you something," he told you, pulling out an open cylinder of steel and unfolding another little piece from it, "Hope it works. It's a little mug holder. Go on, let's see if it fits." Snapping the little unfolding piece to your crutch, Bombur watched your face break into a grin as it remained in place. "This is the sweetest thing anyone has done for me, Bombur. Thank you." "You deserve it," he replied, smiling fondly at you.
Dori
“I wouldn’t exactly mind having one of those.” “A cane?” You arched a brow. “I’ve always thought it made you look distinguished,” he admitted with a smile. “Now that is a new one,” you commented wryly, “All for use of my leg.” “Nothing wrong with it,” Dori shrugged, “We all do what we must. Seems a shame you’ve such a plain one, though.” At that, your proverbial ears perked up. “As opposed to what?” “Well,” he shrugged, “I don’t know. Haven’t you seen all the nice silver tips and things they put on canes?” “Ah,” you nodded, “I see what you mean! It is a bit of a shame I haven’t anything to decorate mine with, isn’t it?” “Haven’t anything? What do you call this?” With that emphasized last word, Dori reached behind into his pack and procured a little silver charm, one carved richly with dwarven runes and even centered with a little green stone. Fiddling at his back more, the dwarf also found a section of string and hastily tied it to your cane’s handle. “Now what do you call that?” He asked, waving a hand over the charm. “I have a bit of luster dust if you’d like something more.” Needless to say, it was the most fun night you’d had in those endless weeks of trekking.
Nori
Raising one eyebrow at Nori, you stared in skepticism as he held a hand out and repeated his request. “Your cane, please?” “How do I know you won’t just run off with it?” You shot back. “You’re sitting,” he pointed out, “Not like you really need it. Besides, do you really think I’d be so incorrigible a scoundrel as to make off with someone’s means of walkin’ for no reason?” Nori’s gaze slid upward from your carven wood cane back to your eyes, which remained as they were. “Second thought, don’t answer that. Just trust me, hm? You won’t regret it. Dwarf’s honor.” At the invoking of honor, an action infrequently taken by Nori, your brow lowered to form a more neutral, though inquisitive, expression as you handed your cane over. You were quickly distracted by conversation from Dori as you sat, folding your hands in both complacency and content and shivering a bit in the snow. The conversation continued for some time until an ‘A-ha!’ rang out and Nori came running back up, triumphantly hoisting your cane, to which he had crudely affixed one of his many knives. “And what,” you asked, “Is this?” Nodding beyond your night’s campground, Nori indicated the ice extending across the ground. “Aid in your trek! Can’t have you slipping, can you? Not that I won’t catch ya.” He winked.
Ori
“Your sticks!” Ori gasped, brown eyes wide with horror. “Where are they?” “My crutches?” Eyebrows sliding upward in amusement, you made your way toward the young dwarf, who was stitching a sock a handful of feet away. At that, he simply nodded, repairs completely abandoned upon his lap. "Oh, I simply had no need for them today," you answered with a small shrug of your shoulders. At that, Ori gave a curious little frown. “So you can walk some days?” “It isn’t only a matter of walking,” you chuckled, “Moreso that some days my pain and balance are worse.” “Like when Gloin’s leg bothers him?” Ori asked, face turning to childlike eagerness. “Or how Bifur doesn't talk some days?" A little smile spread across your face and your chest expanded with warmth. "Yes," you agreed, "Just like that, Ori."
Fili
Mind drifting off in tandem with the pulsing ache of your limbs, you gazed at the flicker of the fire, faintly drifting smoke curling into the air from pipes and the kindling itself. Your hands idly wrung your cane until the sensation of warmth brushing your leg drew you from your empty focus spiral. Shifting your gaze, you were met with the sight of Fili sitting at your side. "Think I might need one of those after today." Following his gaze, your eyes fell back down to your hands, more specifically the cane held there. "Your own mobility aid or the other?" At your last words, Fili quirked up a golden brow. "The other?" He repeated. Smirking proudly, you slid the end off your cane, revealing a sword hidden within. “The other,” you repeated once more with emphasis, “Guess you weren’t paying attention to how I heaved so many goblins off that bridge.” “You’re right,” Fili agreed, blue eyes lighting up in the fireglow, “I do want that. How long has that been there?” “Whole time.” “Just waiting for the right moment, eh?” “Of course,” you bantered back, “Gotta make a show.”
Kili
“Can I try?” Kili smiled up at you as you blinked at him, face blank with thought. Reaching down, he pantomimed using your crutches for a step, swinging his arms back and forth. "You want to give my crutches a go?" Your eyebrows shot up, a smile building upon your face. Memories flooded your mind, deep knowledge of the struggle that nearly always comes with those first steps and even far beyond. Loosening the grip you had upon your aids, you handed them off to Kili as you took Oin's hand and allowed him to help walk and lower you onto a makeshift camp seat. Hooking his arms in, Kili stood up, adjusting his posture after several moments. He took a step, then swung them. "Wait, that doesn't make sense. Hold on." You giggled from your seat at Oin's side as Kili raised one leg, thought, brought the crutches down again and wobbled such that you were tempted to extend hands that could catch him.
Bilbo
“I was scared first, but trust me: you’ll be grateful in the end once you get on these fellows,” Bilbo told you, looking down at you as he patted the pony he sat upon. “It isn’t that,” you answered, gaze dropping from the hobbit’s, “It’s…well, it is a bit embarrassing, to be honest.” The dwarves had been sweet enough to fortify the feet of your forearm crutches, though they still could not understand why you didn’t ride. The answer, quite frankly, rose a bit of a flush to your cheeks. Bilbo must have caught this. “You shouldn’t be ashamed. Nothing of it is your fault. You can tell me. Probably better me than all those dwarves, right? I won’t tell a soul.” His voice dropped to a playful whisper for that last sentence, which though it didn’t help the heat radiating beneath your skin did open your heart and your mouth. “If I were to get lightheaded or a shock of pain riding a pony I could fall off. And...And I would need someone to hold onto me.” “Ah,” the hobbit replied, this time taking his turn to shyly gaze away, “Well, if you ever change your mind, I would be more than happy to hold you.”
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#the hobbit#the hobbit imagines#the hobbit x reader#the hobbit headcanons#thorin’s company#thorin's company x reader#balin#dwalin#thorin#oin#gloin#bifur#bofur#bombur#dori#nori#ori#fili#kili#bilbo#ask#filiswingman#requested#disabled reader#mobility aids
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OMG I LOVE YOUR FICSSS SO MUCH
Here's my request😆
So on TikTok, I have seen so many vids of people(Floridians) doing the craziest and and most hilarious things during Hurricane Milton, like dancing to the Earth Song by Michael Jackson with extremely strong winds going on, or doing the Krusty Krab pizza delivery SpongeBob meme when they're literally getting blown away and singing eye of the Hurricane by Hamilton while is costume in the midst of POURING RAIN🤣🤣
I was wondering how the LaDS boys would react/what they would do if they saw a video on social media of the reader/MC at their home(since it would be too dangerous to go out because there's a LITERAL HURRICANE) were the reader/MC does something similar, like there was a really strong hurricane with strong winds and flooding and the reader/MC goes on something that dangerous but funny then posts it??
uhhhh ngl im not super into crackfic stuff and this is like?? bordering but ive seen those videos and lowkey they are hilarious couldnt be me though extreme weather makes me very anxious
i dont really have much to say for it though but this uhhh
He is not happy to see you risking your life like that. Honestly, if the weather event was that extreme he would be home, with you - except for Zayne. He's at work but he's calling you any chance he gets. Even if it's for a funny video he'd tell you to get back inside and that it's far too dangerous for you to be playing like that. Honestly, it'd be strange if you guys weren't already evacuated, him prioritizing your safety above all else.
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How would dark/yandere!peaky boys react to the reader asking for a break up (if they're dating) or divorce (if they're married) since reader gets uncomfortable with them now and finally notices their really possessive and unhealthy behavior? I have a feeling this most certainly won't go well
thx so much lovely❤️🔥
Thank u for this anon, not something ive ever tried to write before
Feel like this goes without saying lads but these wee headcannons depict sometimes abusive relationships that some people won't enjoy and may find upsetting. Please if u think it might upset u or put u at risk of harm, don't read them. (Im going to post some light stuff tonight too later on dont worry)
Tommy
🌿I'm not gonna lie, i don't think he'd let it get that far
🌿He's always in control, always pulling strings, no one thinks, feels or does anything without him knowing their desires before he does.
🌿He can read people like books, understand them deeply within only a few conversations, thats why he's so good at manipulating people and situations to get his own way.
🌿So if you are breaking up with him... Its because he wants you to, its just another microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan ect. ect.
🌿 Youre not leaving him, he's letting you leave... For one reason or another
🌿 It might be strategic, might be a way of taking the decision out of your hands, hes involved with some dangerous men and he wants you out the way for awhile, so he can be sure nothing will happen to you. If this is the case youll be dead to him, publicly, and as far as youre concerned. He'll cut you off completely, the only way youll be able to get through to him is if you march up to his front door.
🌿If he's letting you get to the point you actually try to leave him, he'll probably let you do it... If he shows you what life is like without him, how weak and feeble you are when you don't have him to protect you from the big bad world.. Then he knows you'll come running back.
🌿He might even set up the incident that scares you back to him. He might put you in "danger" then come swooping in to save you. Your tommy keeping you safe.
🌿And when you do he'll open his arms to you, he'll ask you if you missed him, "You've had me worried angel, thought somet had happened to you," and he'll lull you into a false sense of security.
🌿And just when you think youve been forgiven, he'll change, he'll be calm and cold but all the love wilo have drained from his eyes... "don't you ever do that to me again y/n, you know now eh, that world out there, it'll chew you up and spit you out and it won't think twice about putting you through hell, and i won't be so forgiving next time, might not let you back in... Think about that eh... Your Tommy might not let you back in..."
🌿But when he sees the tears in your eyes, that fear, the slight tremble in your bottom lip, he changes again, cups your cheek in his hand, rubs his thumb over your skin soothing and sweet, "Come 'ere eh, s'alright now love, you're back where you belong, right here with your tommy, c'mere"
🌿Pulls you into his arms, tight hug, holds you seriously and kisses your forehead. His eyes open the whole time.
🌿"You stay here now with me yeah, be safe as houses, just you and me against the world.."
🌿And he means it, thats whats so sinister about it, he really means it. As far as hes concerned in this world theres only really one thing that matters and thats him and you, him having you...
🌿So he wouldn't think twice about killing, destroying, burning the whole fuckin city to the ground if it meant keeping you.
🌿Ultimately youre the only thing in his life which is worth living for, other than spite. Hes obsessed with the idea of keeping you healthy, of giving you everything, of making sure you live the best life and remain pure and unscathed by the world...
🌿 Which again, is why he'd sooner see the whole world destroyed before he let you go off on your own and risk being hurt.
Alfie
🐻 Just like Tommy Alfie wants to protect you. He is obsessed with your innocence and your youthful optimism, he wouldn't want any harm to come to you or for you to ever be in danger... Which is why he dotes on you, completely smothers you with his love, never leaves you alone.
🐻 And just like Tommy Alfies not surprised when you try to leave. Unlike Tommy it isn't part of some greater plan... When he first realises youre beginning to distance yourself from him he is genuinely hurt.
🐻He loves you... In his own, maybe more intense than is generally conventional but you know, thats just him ain't it, kind of way. He genuinely doesn't know what he'd do if he lost his little zieskiet...
🐻 Hes concered too, he actually does think you're as small and helpless as he's always telling you you are... He genuinely does believe that without him, you'll wither away, be dead in a week. He knows you can't look after yourself... If he lets you go thats it youre gone forever
🐻 Which is why hes so determined to keep you
🐻 He starts simple, he turns on the charm offensive, twists that dial right up to 11... He doesnt realise its making you feel worse though, all this walking you from home to the shops, the bar, meeting you outside your work...
🐻 He brings you flowers, bakes for you, buys your pretty gifts and is ever so sweet to you
🐻 But he notices what you're doing, youre still making plans... And last night one of his men told him they saw you buy a train ticket to take you up north...
🐻So he takes things up a notch... He's never let you in his office before, tells you the only people who ever come into his office are business men, cause you only leave his office on a deal or death basis
🐻So when he calls you and instructs you to come to his office you know you're in trouble, and you're terrified he knows your plan
🐻 "Alfie whats going on youre scaring me..."
🐻 "Not as much as youre scaring me poppet..." "I don't under..." "you know what i dont like poppet?... Rumours... Yeah nasty little things rumours, theyre like fuckin woodworms yeah... Theres never just fucjin one of em is there, theres always fuckin hundreds of them and theyre everywhere right... Fuckin woodworms.. You know theyre all different dont you, theyre all their own little wood munchin grimy little individual selves... But see the thing is they all look and sound thr fuckin same... Disgusting, i hate woodworms... They get into everythin don't they, the very bones of your house, and they feast on it, fuckin parasites right... And sometimes you dont even know youve got em until one night youre sleeping, dreaming fuckin lovely little dreams and suddenly, they all start dropping on you from on high... You ever had that poppet? Woodworms? "
🐻" N.. No Alfie..." "Nasty shock, fuckin horrible shock actually..."
🐻 "And thats the thing right, rumours right, theyre exactly the fuckin same and see recently yeah, I've been hearing a lot of em... Know what theyre about?" he's leaning back in his chair fingers locked over contemplative, until he turns them on you, "You..."
🐻 He tells you hes heard rumours youre going to take a train up north, he tells you all the journey details... Departure time, the stops you'll go through and the time you'll arrive at your final stop. "Amazing init, the details you hear in rumours..."
🐻Now you think you know why hes brought you to his office... The gun in his drawer, maybe he's worse than you thought he was, you try to angle yourself so that you can see his hand.
🐻 "Now what i wanna know right, is if these rumours are true?" youre trembling, utterly terrified, youre not a good liar and you know you definitely can't lie to him... But do you have a choice.
🐻 Your hesitence tells him everything he already knew.
🐻 "Now this is bad news innit, very bad news indeed poppet," "Cause see what ive been doing all these years we've been together yeah, you being mine and me being yours... Ive been looking after you, your old man - thats me yeah - 's been looking after you, plain and simple... And well, its been so long i don't know how you're gonna fair without me?"
🐻 He'll get you to stay by making you doubt yourself, he's always babied you and now hes going to remind you that you really are his little girl. That you need him to help you with everything, you won't survive without him. Who will do all the thinking for you? Make the difficult decisions? Who's going to defend you against all those bad men out there that want to hurt you?
🐻 "So these rumours right? Are they true?" this time you dont hesitate, you shake your head and say no, you dont want to leave him you want to stay with him forever...
🐻 He welcomes you into his lap, pats his knee says "well, thats alright then ain't it, come here poppet, come sit in your old mans lap yeah?" he strokes your hair and holds you and keeps talking to you about how he takes care of you.
🐻 You reach down, trying to be subtle you want to see if the gun is in his drawer, if he was going to use it on you. But he catches your little hand in his raises it to his mouth and kissing your fingers one by one whilst hes talking to you.
🐻 "Did you think that's what id brought you in here for poppet? You think your old man was gonna offer you a deal or death?" you shake your head but youre lying again and this time he questions for a second if he went too far... He did want you to think he might do that...
🐻 But he never actually would... Wouldnt every hurt you like that... Alfies toxic behaviors stem from him being possessive and too protective, he only holds on so tight to you to try and protect you from every threat he percieves. Why would he kill the thing that means the most to him.
Arthur
🍂 He knows he has problems... Well, he's aware of most of them
🍂 He knows his temper is bad. Hes convinced that he's a monster. If you start to believe you are something hard enough you'll start behaving like it. He thinks hes a monster, hes convinced hes going to lose you
🍂 Whether he actually is or not.
🍂But he doesn't realise, that believing you to be the only thing thats good in this world, is a problem too. That thinking youre the only one who can save him, that without you he's doomed to hell...
🍂 Thats what starts to worry you, how hes always telling you youre his ticket to heaven... But his temper and his jealousy, the rages he throws himself into when he thinks someone else has looked at you or flirted with you... They're the things that make you certain you have to leave.
🍂 Its only a matter of time before someone gets killed because of his complete obsession with you, so you try to leave.
🍂 You dont want to hurt him though, despite his rages, his violent outbursts you see him for what you believe him to really be. A wounded man who is hurting, a man who is capable of love but gets so overwhelmed by it it starts eating him alive like black rot.
🍂 So you try to break it to him gently. You tell him you love him but you have to go, its too much, too intense. You make the mistake of telling him he scares you
🍂 "Alright love you listen to me now... This is whats going to happen yeah... You are going to go upstairs now yeah, youre going to unpack your things, put em all back where they belong and then you're going to come back down here and youre going to apologise to me for fucking scaring me alright?"
🍂 He doesnt say it calmly either, he has that low, threatening anger, you can see how hard hes trying to hold it together but hes shaking with rage, you can see it bubbling up behind his eyes.
🍂 You try to be brave, you try to say, "no arthur, thats not how its going to be this..."
🍂 Thats when he loses it, "Alright?" he raises his voice getting louder, "I said fucking alright y/n? Did you hear me?"
🍂 He might get physical, he won't attack you, but that switch will flip in his brain, triggered by how scared he is to lose you... And you'll definitely be scared that he might really hurt you
🍂 He'll probably grab you too roughly, perhaps trap you against the wall. Hand gripping your throat tight enough to leave a mark.
🍂 If he hurts you hes going to feel bad about it, full of guilt later. He'll apologise to you, tell you it won't happen again, he'll probably tell you he knows youre scared of him, hes a monster, you and fuckin everyone else is scared of him these days...
🍂 You'll stay because he scares you. But also because you are convinced that maybe underneath it all there is good in him, you can change him...
🍂 But he won't change.
🍂 He can't change. He doesnt know why he feels everything so intensely but he does, he feels his love for you like bullets ripping through his body. He wouldn't be able to breath if he lost you. He'd suffocate
🍂 Which is ironic because sometimes hes so overzealous with his love, so possesive, always touching you in public, behaving inappropriately at parties and in front of other people. Squeezing you, rubbing your thigh, your arse... Can't keep his hands off you... That it feels like hes suffocating you with his love.
🍂 If he isnt following you everywhere personally, hes got peaky boys watching over you at all times.
John
🌼 Doesnt know that he has problems, thinks this level of adoration and love combined with this level of fear of your leaving, is normal... Its just the nature of your relationship, because he lives in such a dangerous world, its natural to fear you could be snatched from him at any moment. So he doesn't realise theres anything wrong with his attachment to you
🌼 He wont believe you, he'll probably crack a grin and say "what was that flower?" when you don't answer though, when he looks and sees the tears in your eyes he'll shout, "fuckin what was that y/n?"
🌼 He has tears in his eyes, you cant tell if hes really going to cry or not...
🌼 Hes far too invested in your relationship its like his whole life depends on it... That the second you tell him you've had enough, of his fighting and drinking, the crime, the violence, the worrying he ain't gonna make it home to you... The second you quite fairly point out that it isn't fair on you, he hits breaking point.
🌼 0 to 100.
🌼 At first he can't believe it, then hes devestated, then hes angry. And the emotions hit him at 100mph
🌼He doesnt understand why you want to go? He believes the two of you are perfect, that youre the perfect example of when opposites attract, that your good balances out his bad...
🌼 So you try to explain it to him, you can see he's upset so you try to be kind... Try to tell him theres no balance... But his emotions are all over the place and he keeps flipping between crying and heartbroken to white heat anger
🌼 "You wanna talk about fuckin balance love?"
🌼 He takes his gun out, turns it on you, then himself then back to you. "Find the balance now eh... We're on a fucking seesaw now y/n and one of us has got to go yeah, me or you?"
🌼 You have to talk him down from his rage, but its hard, you're holding back tears, trying not to show how scared you are but seeing him point the trigger at himself it makes you realise how devestated you would be to lose him
🌼 And that must mean you love him right? You always knew you did love him, never questioned your love for him... Just whether or not it was good love.
🌼 Youre not stupid, you know this isnt good love but... Its the only love youve got and you do love him...
🌼 So you talk calmly, approach him slowly, youre trembling and when you get to him theres a moment where hes still pointing the gun at you... Hes tears on his cheeks and hes shaking too.
🌼 "John love, sweetheart please don't do this i love you Im sorry i love you..."
🌼 You end up crying together on the kitchen floor, him holding onto you so tight.
🌼 He makes sure in future to be extra sweet to you, he buys you a locket with a photo of him in it, on the back "my love" is engraved. Its beautiful. He tells you to wear it everyday. Never to take it off.
🌼He will also use sex to keeo you his, making you feel good and reminding you that hes the only man who could make you feel that good.
Bonnie
🍀 Doesn't really know that hes as bad as he is... Hes just protective, some would call him possesive too but all he thinks is that hes protecting what is his.
🍀 He knows he shouldn't like the fact that youre physically much weaker than him as much as he does but he brushes it off as just something that attracts him to you... Everyone likes different things and he likes you.
🍀 If you realise he's a little too possessive, if you work out the fact that he never actually leaves you on your own, that even when you go for walks you feel like someones following you, that you see him waiting across the street from you in town, always watching you (he'd say watching over you, making sure hes there near by if you need him)
🍀 Then you might decide you want to leave.
🍀And Bonnie does have a very strong moral code, he has certain views about relationships and women that hes stubborn about.
🍀 He wont hurt you, he wont physically stop you, won't even threaten you... Because he knows that isnt how you treat women... Even when they're scaring the shit out of you threatening to break your fucking heart
🍀He'll look sad when you tell him, when you tell him he scares you when he follows you, that youre scared to be with him
🍀He apologises, tells you he does it cause he cares about you, because he loves you, hes so sweet about it, so apologetic that you know he really is sorry he scares you...
🍀 He promises you he'll change... And he tries a little, not very hard because theres some changes he doesn't think it would be very smart to use make...
🍀So in the end he doesnt change at all, he still follows you, still lingers around you all the time, watching you with those intense eyes. Its like hes waiting for something bad to happen to you...
🍀He probably uses his peaky boy status to scare other lads away from you, hes scared of losing you to someone else so whenever he sees another man near he intervenes, either by coming up to you, holding your hand, putting his arm around you, kissing you in front of them, marks his territory or, by threatening them later when youre gone.
🍀Hes always finding an excuse to give you his clothes to wear, he likes it when you wear his coat. Feels like hes keeping you safe, but also it shows everyone that youre his.
🍀 You think Bonnies sweet, that he really is only trying his best to keep you safe.
🍀When things get rough, when he thinks you're becoming distant, he'll take you off into the wildlands where the two of you can be alone together for as long as it takes to win you over.
🍀And when you do say you'll give him another chance he's ever so sweet and good to you, smothers you with affection. He does make you feel loved, even if at times it is intense and scary.
Isaiah
🐀Hes jealous and he has a temper.
🐀The temper is usually reserved for people he percieves to threaten the happiness of you and him.
🐀You're his prize to defend and hes convinced hes always going to be fighting people to keep you. Thinks everyone wants a piece of his girl
🐀When you tire of the constant convincing him youre his and only his, and you try to leave he kind of bates you?
🐀"Fucking fine y/n, fuckin leave me then.." he can pretend not to care for just long enough to make you doubt yourself, just long enough to break your heart and make you regret your decision.
🐀Thats only because thats not something that takes very long... For a number of reasons
🐀Isaiah is very good at playing the long game. When things are good he showers you with expensive gifts and spoils you sexually too, he's always giving you little reminders of how hard he works for you and the life the two of you have together. He's always reminding you that everything he does is for you.
🐀He's always leaving little marks on you two, love bites and things, marking his territory
🐀So when he switches the charm off the moment you threaten to leave it makes you question whats wrong with you, he isn't even upset, maybe you need him more than he needs you?
🐀That scares you into submission pretty quickly and when you shake your head, change your mind and begin to cry, he'll change again, tell you not to cry, not to be upset.
🐀"Don't cry sweetheart, not your fault, i know you get a little bit confused sometimes, such strong, scary emotions must muddle that pretty little head of yours right up," he's good at babying you, talking down to you to remind you that without him you couldn't survive on your own.
🐀Will start kissing you, touching you, carressing you, teasing you until he has you undressed for him, he'll drive you crazy the way only he can and when he's fucking you into submission he'll remind you that hes the only one who can make you feel that way. Hes the only one youll ever be able to feel so good with. You need him.
🐀Buys you pretty jewellery, expensive gifts, takes you out to expensive bars and spoils you, buys you things you'll never want to part with.
Michael
☘️ Is obsessed with you, with the idea of owning you. Youre the pretty thing he wants to show off to the rest of the world, he wants to see you thrive because it will make him feel good about himself. Knowing his girl is the best there is. That shes all his.
☘️Because of this he invests so much time and money into you, you get music lessons, art lessons, you get libraries of books and youre spoilt but controlled too.
☘️ Michael controls everything about your life, from what you wear to how you spend every second of every day. He wants what's best for you. Thats all hes thinking about.
☘️Is pissed that you'd want to leave, not just pissed but insulted... He knows hes possesive and controlling and he knows he cam be cold sometimes but
☘️ "Everything you've got y/n, I've given you... Everything i own i share it with you.. Everything I've worked for its for us... Together right?"
☘️ Threatens you, not with physical violence but instead threatens to take everything from you.
☘️ "if I'm going to fucking lose you y/n then youre going to lose everything?" youre everything to him so it seems fair that you should lose everything if you walk away from him
☘️He'll dazzle you with all the fancy gifts hes brought you over the years, he'll stand behind you in the mirror, let his fingers trail the silk dress he chose for you, that he paid for... He'll kiss your neck just above the string of pearls you wear doubled around your neck
☘️ And then he'll tug them, the necklace tightens around your neck... Almost... Almost enough to actually choke you
☘️ You'll lose everything y/n... Your connections, the family will cut you off... We can leave you behind, forget we ever knew your name, but you can't leave us... People will always know you as my wife... Bad men will still try to use you to get to me..." "But if youre not mine anymore i wont protect you, ill let them have you wont i... Cause you wont be part of the family anymore and i wont know you... Wont know who you are..."
☘️ These kind of threats are as scary as anything threat of physical violence could be. You know michael really means it when he says these things. He's a cold man. Capable of cutting you off.
☘️"No second chances y/n if you want to leave then leave, but there'll be no second chances..."
☘️And maybe you could be fine on your own, maybe you could start fresh, somewhere no one knows your name... But is it really worth the risk...
☘️ "Or you can stay, you can apologise to me for being so ungrateful, and then I'll forgive you and we'll go back to happily ever after.." "Just like that?". "Yes love, just like that"
Idk if i did these right sorryy bestie, i hope you liked them though!!!
#peaky blinders imagines#bonnie gold x reader#tommy shelby x reader#arthur shelby x reader#john shelby x reader#peaky blinders headcanon#look at me giving advice#peaky blinders imagine#alfie solomons x reader#peaky blinders#dark!tommy shelby x reader#Dark! Peaky blinders
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never go out of style
josh jenkinson x stylist! reader
authors note: I had loads of fun with this one! this one is for the josh girlies. also its so fluffy, as all my stuff is, life is sad enough so my fics will probs always be soft lol !
bryantartists
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bryantartists we just wanted to re-introduce our wonderful SENIOR stylist. yourusername has diligently carved out her place in our team, harry_lambert's prodigy is stepping into her rightful place!
Her work ranges from musicians to actors, and we're just as excited to see what she gets up to !!
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yourusername such a pinch me moment !
harry_lambert the hardest of workers
yourusername never a hard task working for you <33
1975fan1 omg is she still working with matty? I miss those outfits
1975fan2 fr the part of the band outfits where so dark.. yourusername heya lovelies I'm not currently working with sir healy for the up and coming album! we are friends tho so if things get too dreadful I'll step in xx trumanblack too dreadful wtf is this..
yourusername
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yourusername incase you dont follow bryantartists, I've been PROMOTED! they did a truly lovely post featuring some of my clients but I had to note my love for the boys who to a risk on a no name stylist who was looking for her first client. inhalerdublin a girl never forgets her first 🤠 (@eli please give the leather jacket a rest some more xx )
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joshjenkinson_ thanks for making us look cool
yourusername its easy making the cool cooler 🫶
ryanmcmahon_15 too big for us now 💔
yourusername for you ryan NEVER bobbyskeetz fr we do not have the budget for you anymore.. yourusername I tell you to drop the trackies for free EVERYDAY
elijahhewson you'll have to pry that leather jacket out of my cold dead hands.
yourusername you MANchild inhalerfan1 dont fix whats not broken I say
yourusername posted to their story!
replies:
elijahhewson now why do I also feel targeted by this 1975fan1 please please date him!
trumanblack posted to their story!
replies:
yourusername I know I made this and practically forced you to post this, but thank you hahaha yourusername I didnt think far enough ahead tho cause all your fans think we're dating 😭😭 trumanblack ouch what does the secret boyfriend think of that? also you're not my type sorry love xxx yourusername 🙄🙄
inhalerdublin
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inhalerdublin we are back to work and yourusername has removed all leather jackets from the premises... the withdrawl symptoms are kicking in.
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yourusername MWHAHAHHAHAHAH
yourusername inhaler girlies bare with me, it'll be worth it I promise !!
inhalerfan1 I'm so obsessed with you, I'll do anything you say.
elijahhewson really regret hiring her again
joshjenkinson_ I dont bobbyskeetz oh well we all know you dont joshie 😏 joshjenkinson_ literally stfu inhalerfan2 ooohhh now what is this
inhalerdublin
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inhalerdublin love will get you there. link in bio.
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inhalerfan1 people died.
inhalerfan2 🤯🤯
inhalerfan3 sooooo excited omg
bryantartists
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bryantartists inhalerdublin for british gq styled by yourusername !
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inhalerdublin wow are we cool...?
yourusername the boys killed it as per 🔥🔥
yourusername joshjenkinson_ you are lucky you're so cool or I'd be more annoyed about the leather...
joshjenkinson_ I feel so special <;3 bobbyskeetz what about me am I cool too?yourusername hahahaha robert don't make me laugh!!
yourusername
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yourusername a gift for the inhaler girlies !! so I usually get my clients to send me pics of their outfits, for the portfolio and what not. but the lads pics have gotten increasingly more dramatic over time, so I guess enjoy ? 🤷
tagged: inhalerdublin
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inhalerfan1 you are the peoples princess thank you
inhalerfan2 josh looks so cute in the second pic awwww
yourusername stop I know he can do it all, cause look at the serve in the third pic!! inhalerfan2hahahah OMG hi! I love that you're a secret josh girlie bobbyskeetz nothing secret about you being a josh girlie yourusername for once in your life SHUSHH
bobbyskeetz feel like you could appreciate these masterpieces more
(liked by elijahhewson, ryanmcmahon_15 and others)
joshjenkinson_ (private)
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joshjenkinson_ glastonbury bits.
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bobbyskeetz now when oh when did you see our favourite stylist.....
ryanmcmahon_15 suspicious that it was kept a secret... elijahhewson huhhhh wonder why were we left out of this little rendezvous ?? bobbyskeetz care to comment sir jenkinson ??? joshjenkinson_ jesus cause you act like this 🙄
yourusername wowww i've made it to the insta :o
joshjenkinson_ is this what they consider a hardlaunch...? elijahhewson a HARDlaunch ?!?? yourusername the DRAMAtics
yourusername
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yourusername later in the summer, I sit beside the sea
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harry_lambert well earned break, you never stop!!
yourusername says the one haha! pleasing, love on tour, zara collab, gucci editorials... the list goes on and on xx
elijahhewson huh good lyrics them
joshjenkinson_ whos picture are you looking at?
yourusername no picture needed I've real thing infront of me, which is wayyy better bobbyskeetz yall are sick
inhalerfan1 oh not my wife soft launching a MAN
inhalerfan2 omg imagine it was josh!!
inhalerfan3 so random wtf inhalerfan2 no hear me out! shes a self proclaimed josh girlie !!
inhalerfanclub
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inhalerfanclub guys GUYS so I just thought id post these here incase some of you dont follow josh on twitter, BUT LOOK HE'S SOFTLAUNCHING A GIRL
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inhalerfan1 wow i dont know how to feel..
inhalerfan2 these photos are so delicate I cant
inhalerfanclub fr to be seen in this point of view ! a need!!
inhalerfan3 I am CONVINCED its yourusername, their recents are such similar vibes !!
inhalerfan1 wait no you're right inhalerfan2 and that dress is soooo something she'd wear, our stylish queen <3
yourusername
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yourusername give it up for josh jenkinson (my fella !)
and my boyfriend's boyfriend (robert keating 🙄)
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joshjenkinson_ haha what happened to the soft launching
yourusername its no funnnn I've pictures to post god damn it ! joshjenkinson_ <333
bobbyskeetz oi whats with the full name
yourusername stop stealing my boyfriend and I'll stop using your full name 😤 bobbyskeetz no way I was here first yourusername but I'm WAYYY cuter bobbyskeetz and I have nicer hair !! yourusername damn I've been bested joshjenkinson_ I think you have beautiful hair love x bobbyskeetz thank you yourusername thanks love inhalerfan1 hahahah this is the best thing ever
inhalerfan3 ohh it feels so good to be right
trumanblack finally can the people stop shipping us now?
1975fan1 yeah we were so wrong, he's wayyy better for our mother yourusername ahahhaha imagine getting abuse from your own fanbase
-finished-
would LOVE to know you're thoughts! come chat about this fic or even ideas you have for my next one??
#josh jenkinson#josh jenkinson x reader#inhaler oneshots#inhaler band#inhaler imagine#inhaler fanfic#inhaler dublin
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can I prompt you to talk about Menelaus sparing Helen I'm just like :chinhands: about everything u say about the house of atreus
hey, if you're willing to listen, i'm more than happy to talk - thank you!
so. again. we got Big Three versions.
menelaus says 'guys it's chill i'll kill her at home. let's all cool our jets' (this is the version in euripides)
menelaus goes to kill her himself. helen shows her boobs. menelaus suddenly very chill (this is also implied by euripides)
menelaus gets men to kill her. helen shows her boobs. men suddenly very chill (stesichorus)
CAN YOU GUESS WHICH TWO I DESPISE? no. fr. the last two (the boob two) are far too dependent on helen being vain. and helen .... almost not feeling any guilt or shame from what's happened. and we know that's not true from the iliad. these two, to me, are classic. THIS IS JUST HOW HOT HELEN WAS propaganda. cause yknow. ur a greek/roman/ancient dude and you hear that helen of sparta showed you her boobs like 'damn bro i wouldn't kill her either ahahahaha pass the wine, maximus'.
but helen was never vain. she was never arrogant. she was confident and self-assured. but it's pretty much everyone AROUND helen that comments on her beauty and stuff. she never really does herself? which is another fascinating element of her character tbh. so her doing THIS as a means to be spared? doesn't suit me. do i think helen wanted to die/was willing to die? no. but i think she would have gone about pleading for her life a different way, y'know? also i hate the whole 'her tits got her into this mess they'll get her out of it' like shut UP. menelaus is not 12. he's fucking 60 odd at this point. he is tired. he is wounded. he is so beyond mentally well. give him some respect. he wouldn't have been blind sided by this.
but i don't think menelaus EVER planned to kill her. i can accept euripudes' version cause i think there would have been a lot of greek men that would have wanted to see helen dead. it makes sense yknow? they dont see the full narrative. the big picture. as far as they're concerned helen ran away. loads of people died. and now she's gonna get away with it. they're not narrative aware enough to see all the cogs of fate and the gods and all this. so i can respect that some greeks would have wanted her to suffer and menelaus would have risked a fuckin riot if he outright said 'nah lads she's fine lets crack on' so the whole 'wait til we get home' narrative is a good way for him to save time. to buy him and helen some time to come up with a plan, a story. to hear each other out. to work through stuff. they don't get back to sparta for like. 10 more years. they can EASILY have come up with some reason why she's not been killed yet. or why he's not gonna go through with it/why it's all worked out.
in regards to menelaus never wanting to kill her, i believe that because of how menelaus behaves in the iliad. menelaus is constantly lamenting the deaths of the greeks. the needless death and suffering. how these men are working and sacrificing to get helen back. to bring her HOME. what would killing her do? another senseless death. all the sacrifice for naught because menelaus doesnt get his wife back. he goes back to sparta alone. as if he never even went to fucking troy and tried to get her back?????
and also because menelaus loves her. despite everything he loves her and he never stopped. it's why i really like his portrayal in IOA even if he is a giant ass clown. he's a man desperate to get his wife back. and he's under the impression they're just gonna go to troy and get her back. simple as. two months tops. he's frantic and desperate and willing to try anything to get her back (yo bro kill ur daughter for me kthx). and i don't think that desire to get her back changes. menelaus grows more subdued and quiet. and has less fire. but he's still trying. he goes toe to toe with paris, is willing to take on hektor. menelaus is very much: 'i am dying at troy or i am leaving with my wife' and how is that not love? it's literally. he is going to get her back or die trying.
(also idk how much people value to fall of troy texts that are around but like. menelaus kills deiphobus in those. when dei is with helen. the man is insane in those moments he could easily have took helen out too in his madness. but he doesn't. also also. when he's in the horse and he hears helen, he's said to 'groan' when he remembers her and given the context of the other men weeping and stuff. this is like. a groan of pain. hearing helen's voice after so long and remembering her. HURTS him. he's missed her so much.)
menelaus and helen loved each other. you see it in odyssey 4. the healing they must have gone through in those 10 years. is so admirable and powerful. and they did it because they wanted to. because they were gonna see this out. they were gonna make this work. and even zeus acknowledges it. because he lets menelaus into elysium just to be with helen (his own DAUGHTER) for eternity. even though menelaus has LITERALLY no elysium qualities. not even zeus cant bear to separate these two.
they're just so fucking powerful.
#long post for ts ///#menelaus#yes i am starting to tag my menelaus stuff. ive studied him for a decade.#ive given talks on him. ive written papers and been referenced in essays im about him#2023 is the year i embrace the 'menelaus expert' meme#that isn't ............. talking to a class and having them stare at me for like an hour#i have no idea if anyone agrees with ANYTHING i ever say#but i refuse to be silenced tbh#havent been quiet about the HOA for ten years. im not starting now#thank you for the kind words though friend!!! this passion has a very special place in my heart#it's nice to have an outlet for my menelaus thoughts <3
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as a transmasc whos had a complicated relationship (haha ship boat ship) w hearing people talk about objects w the same pronouns as they talk abt me, and also more primarily as a transmasc who likes to think HUGE, why dont (or moreso, why cant we now) refer to boats (at least/relevant thing for rn) as he? i mean the huge brained thing would be designing neos for your boat (id love to hear the discourse between marine workers abt what pronouns the boat would have. can you imagine) but idk, whatd happen if you he/him'd a boat? would your peers take the change in stride after thinking about it? would there be some sort of strange peer group split about people deciding he/him should be valid vs staying she/her?
anyway sorry if this is insane im autistic but instead of only failing social situations i also think of novel insane social situations. i think we should just have more fun w weird pronouns in situations like that. the "being out at sea for too long" generated pronouns would go really hard i think.
Hi there! This is a more elaborate version of a question a lot of people have been asking. The reason boats are she is steeped in a lot of (most likely sexist) history. These days people in the marine industry are not thinking of the pronouns in that way, really, or in any particular way, except as a way to vaguely personify the boat, because that is just how we see them. It's not explicitly granting her feminine characteristics, it's just respecting her totality, as an individual (very few boats or ships are identical to another, they tend to be unique) and as more than the sum of her parts, and from my point of view as a designer, sort of arguing for the need to respect her as an integrated whole where every system affects every other system, not just an assortment of independent systems.
Could you call a boat "he"? You could. I remarked in a couple of other places that if you wanted to make it stick, you'd have to actually make it part of the name, like "Empress Sophia (he/him)". Actually register him like that and paint it on the hull. It would be hilarious. Whether people would respect it or not I don't know, no doubt some would, others might try but forget because the she habit is so ingrained, others would just ignore it altogether. You might run a risk of people just reverting to "it" in confusion.
If I personally just started using "he" for boats in a professional setting, people would find it very weird, but also funny, and would eventually put it down to a personal eccentricity, of which there is no shortage in this line of work. They would be unlikely to follow suit.
As an aside, the fact that calling a boat she doesn't confer feminine characteristics also means that you can say amusingly gender-bent phrases like "she's a big lad" if it makes you happy.
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I had a wild idea. How would the lads react if they found a research room, of sorts, that Mc is using to try and figure out a way to safely seperate them? Would they think its sweet Mc is working so hard, keeping track of things and theorizing ways to make life better for them? I dont mean this in a creepy secret room about them sorta way, no no no, its just to try and help them.
I would keep it a secret from them for as long as i could just because i dont want them worrying about me worrying about them, heh.
Also bonus, id keep a picture of us all on a seperate desk just because i love looking at them, remembering who im working for<3
It would make them happy to know you put in that much effort just to help them. Who knows, maybe you'll find a way. They just hope you won't do anything dangerous in the process. They'd rather you didn't put yourself at risk for their sake.
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I was reading @internet-sentences talk about being molded into a manhattan spreadsheet monster from a young age, and she frequently mentions technical problems (super vaguely) around what I imagine are ito calculus or linear algebra or diffeq without hinting at any joy in it.
And while I'll occasionally lamentfully wonder about what I'd have been like if i had a single goddamn engineering role model before reading the sequences, I think it's possible that I dont really grok one of the upsides of taking a calc1 class at age 24:
I am often stunned and grateful about the beauty and power of mathematics. I drastically underestimated the limits of my power as a wee lad, then I updated, which is a hair like ascending to godhood. I actually remember being blind, sight is still kinda a strange place I dont belong in.
In EA and ML, people around you sometimes reference some calc2 or linear algebra trick and say "oh yeah, from 11th grade, haha". These are the legacy admissions, who went to wizarding school because it was their birthright. I'm a bastard who hitchhiked from a muggle neighborhood with forged documents and lied to the wizarding school enrollment desk.
I dont think I can solve a problem without risking going mad with power. I feel like I'm at a symphony or art museum most of the time.
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