#dont reply w bullshit

[kath-artic]

ohhhh my god if this fight is about what i think its about im gonna lose it

[kuratm]

i need to tell you all that after i beat the ice titan in book 6, i screamed FUCKING FINALLY so loudly that my dad called out from the other room like 'did you have to say fuck'? NOT EVEN GONNA ASK ME WHAT GARNERED THAT REACTION NOR ANYTHING...nah, just straight up 'stop swearing, girl, i s2g'

[sanzuballs]

theyre the type toooooo….

ft. zoro, luffy, sanji, law, ace, robin, nami

hii guys. this is gonna be real fluffy (mostly) and sweet so hopefully u guys eat this up. have fun reading my bullshit headcannons.

——————————

zoro is the type of guy to come into the room at 12 am after a intense workout and want nothing but your pussy and then to take a nice shower after.

“zoro? is that you?” he replied with a grunt and grabbed you while peppering your face with kisses. “youre all sweaty, baby.”

“kay then let me fuck you then we can take a shower together, please?”

—

luffy is the type of guy to talk about your guys’ sex life to others on accident. hes just so proud to be with you.

“this would totally taste better if y/n let me eat it off her. oh! like she did last night!” he’d chirp aloud.

“LUFFY!!”

__

sanjis the type of guy to try not to admit his dirty thoughts when hes alone with you.

“sanji do you want me to start moving?” you said as you sat on his thigh with your arms around him.

“what?! you can do anything you’d please. i dont care what you do i want you to be happy! why would you think that?!” he’d spurt out.

—

ace is the type of guy to fall asleep right after sex with his cock still in you.

“fuck, ace you always do this.” you smiled as his sweaty body held you close to him. you were unable to move from his tight grip. it kept his cock snug in your pussy.

his face was too peaceful and cute so you just sank in.

—

law is the type of guy to make it so obvious he had a boner while trying to hide it.

“lawww!! do you like this dress?” you smile at him with your new small dress on.

“its so damn small.” he just decides to take a seat and set his hat down right ontop the fly of his jeans.

“law. i know you like it.”

__

robin is the type of woman to let you do whatever makes you happy. for example, if you want to cuddle on her boobs then go ahead, if you want to sleep inbetween her thighs then go ahead.

“robin im so tired but cant find i good place to rest on the bed.” you said as you shuffled around the bed.

“come here then.” she grabs you and your head hits her plush tits.

—

nami is the type of girl to seriously do anything for you.

“y/n? are you okay? you seemed a little down today.” she grabbed your shoulder. you turned around then gave her a smile.

“yeah i just got a headache today.” you replied.

“oh, do you wanna take a bath or nap?” she asked.

“im okay nami, thank you!” you smiled at her.

then you found the luffy and ussop and chopper with big welts on their head from nami punching them for being “too loud for y/n.”

—

monster trio again bc im inlove w them

zoro is the type of guy get jealous easily.

“that damn bartender couldnt keep his eyes off you.” he said as you guys left the bar.

“zoro you know im only yours.” you smirk at him in your tipsy state.

“y/n! you-u know what saying! i just dont.. um like sharing, okay??!” he turns away while blush covers his face.

—

luffy is the type of guy to overstimulate you so bad.

“luffy, you said that was the last one.” you whined as he rammed into your overstimulated pussy.

“im sorry baby. i love when you tighten around me so much. you know that right?” he smiles at you.

you couldnt even hear him as you were on the verge of passing out.

—

sanjis the type of guy that you would just napping in your bed with a pair of your panties in his hands.

“sanji?” you found a lump of a man in your bed. he was definitely out but in his hands you saw a pair of your favorite panties.

“you perv.” you smiled as you got into the bed with him.

—-

this was so funnnnnn <3

[borzoilover69]

I have this vivid post-game earth c vision of jake roxy dave and ecto-clone meenah going on clubbing hijinks. Because theyre the only people in the friendgroup interested in doing that extrovert shit and 1/2 of the party gets invited by jake.

Meenah gets into a fight w/ jake bcus he thinks shes actually meenah, but in the end they laugh off the misunderstanding and joke insult each other and exchange socials. She also controls what music they listen to as they drive, and has a rotating door of dancestors who chill w/ them. Wears a lot of black.

Roxy is a bit flakey but she makes the cut cus shes generally chill and gets along w/ people. Shes the one buying bottles of soju from bws and texting in the backseat with her painted nails while keeping up w/ the others banter. Shes chill w/ going w/ the flow. She also manages to find more obscure clubs thru her feed or other mad hacker skillz (lulz). Wears a lot of colourful stuff

Dave got invited by Jake once as a “fuck it why not (and a massive fuck you to dirk)” and ended up vibing w/ meenahs music tastes (they have similiar tastes so shes chill w/ him) so they kept inviting him back. Generally doesnt have anything going on for him post-game so is always down for it, plus is totally trying to hit on jake to some regards. This is mutually beneficial, as jake is full aware of this fact. They are both jackasses full aware of the taboo crossover waiting to happen. Gets along REALLY well with jake after a few drinks. Jake and him generally dont talk in normal circumstances but you bet the minute jake asks if daves free hes getting off the fucking couch to text a reply much to the chagrine of his roommate vantas. Dave is the most basic its either a hoodie and shorts or a tshirt with cargos. Solid colour, little to no decor.

Jake is the passenger princess (part two) drinking before they get to the party and laughing or engaging with a bitching session with meenah. They have a sort of thing going for them in the way that meenah will drag jake into a bathroom and give him a peptalk or grill him for being too hard on himself. Respects her for her shit. BPD solidarity because in return for all the times shes grilled him in a bathroom about how strong he is for putting up with bullshit he receives from other people he in return makes sure to check on her when she isnt doing too hot and takes her out to lunch or something. Also they both bitch about their crazy exes, jake bitches about dirk and meenah bitches about ecto-clone aranea (they met in a psychward). Jake and meenah have an on-going “ill end my toxic relationship if you end yours.”

Roxy and Dave are both well aware this shit is taboo af but also they genuinely do not have that much going for them so its like a nod of respect to the fact theyre the two other gods who enjoy clubbing. Just not being the ones who plan and arrange it. They do like being invited tho.

Dave and Meenah both vape, Jake and Roxy dont. Meenah and Dave occasionally beef but he always ends up back in the crew cus hes usually the loser stuck parking and hes the only one trusted with the music other than Meenah. Meenah is VERY particular about the vibe. No sad songs. No indie. No chill beats. Gotta be high energy. I think she would listen to something like heartbeat by childish gambino or lemonade (feat.nav).

I have more thoughts about it ill prolly elaborate if anyone interested. I have such thoughts abt their fashion and habits. Enough about introverts lets get some extrovert rep.

[isappuccino]

hey babe :3 u said reqs r open so i hv an idea!! make like a fic w gunwook n its highschool volleyball au where u both r the captains of the boys n girls teams idk how to explain it.. also do u think miumuras is a good username for my blog cs im gna change it once my smau is overrr

this ask is so old, omg im so sorry!

f!vbcap!reader x vbcap!rival!gunwook . fluff . no tw . rlly rlly cringe...

"gunwook." you say as you look up at him. "yn." he replies smiling, making fun of your seriousness. it really wasn't a big deal in his opinion, all he did was steal your court. "this is our court, we were here first." you state, trying to focus on his eyes and not the obvious smirk on his face, "yet you all left to get ice cream. meaning free opportunity, so i took it." he says, leaning down to get closer to your face.. you flinch away, scrunching your face up in the process. "bullshit. we booked this court a week ago! i'm getting coach." gunwooks smirk fades as he grabs your hand stopping you from walking away, "don't. fine, we'll give you the court, but only for today. don't keep expecting me to be nice." you scoff, watching him walk away 'what is he? some villian?' "alright, girls! on the court!" you hear your coach call out.

you walked out of the school, looking up at the heavy rain. quietly, you curse at yourself for not bringing an umbrella. "fuck. guess i'll have to run" you huff, annoyed since you're still sore from practice. "need help?" you hear from behind you. turning around you're face to face with the captain of the boys volleyball team, and your worst enemy. gunwook. 'great. just my luck.' you turn back around, rolling your eyes. "no. gunwook. i dont need your help." taking off your backpack you carry it above you as you step out into the pouring rain. "holy shit! its fucking cold!" you scream out, hearing giggles behind you, "do you need help now?" gunwook says, walking next to you with his umbrella dawning only above him. torturing you seemed like his favorite hobby. "oh fuck off dude. i dont wanna play today." you yell, walking faster than him.

it had been 10 minutes since you left the school, slowly hating how far away your home is from the school. weirdly enough, gunwook was still next to you walking with his umbrellla. you had passed by many people, staring at the two of you wondering why one of you was drenched in water, while the other remained dry. "fuck! fine I need your help!" you screamed in a last effort. the rain had gotten even worse. "okay!" gunwook said, instantly pushing himself closer to you. "feel better now, sweetheart?" gunwook smirks, "whatever, shut up and walk." you say shoving his side. you cant lie, his presence had been comforting. "say, do you really walk this far? everyday?" he asks, you nod before answering him. "i live this far, idiot." he laughs, looking down. "you're really pretty." he says randomly, a blush creeping on both your faces causes an awkward tension. "... you too." 'FUCK!' "you too?? can't even say thank you, huh?" he smirks, "shut up, i'll take that back too." yeah, maybe his presence wasn't so bad.

[billgetsmewet]

Make-up S€x..

Bill Kaulitz

-MUTUALS WHO FLWD ME FOR FASHION PLS IGNORE THIS OMDS-

warnings : s€x , fighting/arguing, sad start (great end😊)

You were at your apartment, waiting for Bill to come home.

He was always getting home late nowadays, barely paying attention to you, even though you tried to let him know multiple times that you felt neglected.

He told you he would be home by 11pm on the dot, he sweared he wouldnt be late this time.

Wasnt a surprise that it was already 1am and he still wasnt in your sight.

Around 1:54am he barged in, not even saying hello, before dropping his bag and his jacked straight on the floor and going to bed.

He knew this bothered you but he couldnt give less of a shit.

You walked up to him, about to confront him, but he didnt even look at you, you were on the edge of breaking into tears.

You sat down next to him, trying to spit a word out of your mouth without crying.

“Bill..” you mumbled, your voice all quiet and shakey.

No reply.

“Bill!” you said, a bit louder this time.

Still no reply.

“Oh for fucks sake, Bill!” you angered, raising your voice enough for him to finally look at you, but you could tell he was already tired of you talking to him.

“Bill..” you let out another mumble.

“What?” he replied harshly

“Talk to me..” you begged

He didnt even budge, he was too tired to make an effort.

“You said youd be home by 11.. its almost 2am..” you said, waiting for a reply… but he just stared at you.

Finally he sighed, replying.

“I got busy”

Why has he been so cold and ignoring..? you thought to yourself.

“I was worried” you whispered, almost breaking into tears on the spot, you knew he was lying, you knew he was just having fun with his friends.

“You should be used to it by now” he replied coldly, tearing your heart apart.

You couldnt hold it back anymore and you let the tears shed.

He sat up, snapping back to reality.

You walk out of the room, not wanting him to see you cry.

He follows.

You sit down on the couch in the livingroom, curling up.

He sits down next to you.

“L..listen.. i didnt mean to hurt you.. ive been busy.” he stuttered.

“Bill, i know youve just been out with your friends, i know damn fucking well youre not busy!” you cried.

“Ive been worrying my ass off, you sweared youd be home on time.. Im not your mom, i cant stop you from coming home late, but you can do the bare minimum and make an effort to be home the same day atleast!” you wiped your tears.

He sighs.

“Y/N i just want to live life until i can! im only young now!” he says.

“Bullshit.” you sigh. “You lie too, theres no point.”

“Bill, you have to understand im young too! And i happen to want to live my life with you! I make efforts, i dont want to beg for your love.”

He feels his heart break as you say that.. did he really hurt you that much?

“Im.. im..” he couldnt seem to get the words out of his mouth..

You zip your sweater down, youre getting hot from crying so much, and Bills body heat is making you feel hotter.

He looks at you as if he saw an angel fly by, you looked gorgeous, but he knew he shoudlnt focus on that, however his eyes were gkued to your chest.

“Im..” he mumbles.

“Youre what, Bill? Is it really that fucking hard?” you mumble, not loud enough to make it clear to him what you said..

“W-what..?! I-Im not.. hard? I..” he tried fighting down what he thought your assumptions are.

You look him up and down, rolling your eyes.

“I- i mean! i… oh god” he stutters.

“Youre a fucking idiot..”

You walk back into the bedroom.

He follows once again.

You lay down on your side of the bed, he lays down on his, facing you.

“Im sorry..” he finally spits out.

“Wasnt so hard now was it?”

He looks down, ashamed.

You turn over, you dont want to see his face right now.

He glides his hands down your stomach, pulling you closer.

“Can i make it up to you?”

His words gave you butterflies, but you didnt reply, you just wanted him to read your mind.. or your body language.

He glides his hands even lower, finally touching the bottoms of your pyjamas.

God, his hands are so gentle..

He pats your thighs a bit before bringing his hands back up and tucking on the string of your pyjama bottoms.

“Can i?”

You nod.

He unties the string, sliding his hands underneath your pyjama bottoms.

He can feel how wet you already are.

Your breathing gets heavier and heavier by the second.

You arch your back, begging for some spark, begging him to finger you.

—————————————————————————

You can barely catch your breath , as he thursts his cock in and out of you at such a fast pace that youre surprised you can even keep up.

With each thurst he slides his cock just to the very tip, only to slam it right back in.

He moans with each thurst, your noises align.

He feels as if he cant control himself…

He can feel both of you reaching your climaxes.

“Hold onto me.. okay? Fuck…”

“Close?” he whines.

You nod, moaning heavily.

“Me too baby, me too..”

He continues, not missing a single beat from the rythm.

Not long after hes on the edge of finishing.

“I..Im.. fuck..”

He tries speaking again.

“Im gonna.. cum..”

He moans as he says the last word, releasing his seed inside of you, making you finish aswell.

He makes sure to fuck his cum into you, not wasting a single drop.

—————————————————————————

You guys cuddle in bed, resting after whatever just happened.

“Im sorry” He whispers.

You pull him closer as an answer.

“I promise on my life i wont be late again.. im sorry..”

He kisses you, caressing your head, before both of you fall asleep.

—————————————————————————

Alright i hope u guys liked that! sorry the smut part was short:(

Also i apologize for the spelling mistakes and all that, im hungarian and i dont know how to spell fancy words, ykwim?

Tried my best! Love u!

[burnedwriter]

thinking abt alhaitham/kaveh/itto with a s/o who practically acts real bossy with them but becomes absolutely dumb when they get fucked. if its okay w u, could u pls write abt them (or any one of them) railing the brains out of their s/o after a day of bossing them around? no rush, and feel free to write as you please! thank you!

A/n:thank you anon for the req!,i apologise for the wait,i didnt forgot your req,my inbox is in flames right now soooo,i hope you enjoy,i wrote about all 3 of them because i just couldnt choose one

warnings:smut,!gender-neutral language used,doggystyle(itto),against the table(kaveh),degrading(alhaitham),rough sex,teasing,gagging.

🌱al haitham

''are you done bossing me around all day you little slut,dont forget who is the real boss here''al haitham groaned in your ear,his chest pressed against your back as he pounded into you.

''what are you too cock drunk to answer''he teased you seeing no reply from you but only moans,his fingers deep inside your mouth gagging you as you drooled all over them,unable to form a single sentence but only reply with moans.

Al haitham thrusting into you at a fractic pace,his frustration showing with each one of his thrust,one more brutal than the other.He wasnt the hotheaded type nor the type to loose his cool at anything,and now you learned the hard way that you fucked up really bad on why you shouldnt make him mad

His strong thrusts knocking the the air out of your lunges,as you held into the bed sheets for dear life,al haitham was not going to stop anytime soon and its was going to a long night for you.

🏛kaveh

''oh kaveh please~''you cried out,your legs pushed onto either side of your head as kabveh fucked into your hole,he couldnt hold back anymore,he tried to be patient with you but afte today you took it too far with your bullshit,couldnt you wait for one hour until he was done with his assignment or do you wanted him to fail?you were suprised he was so patient for so long.

''where is your bossy attitude now hmm''kaveh said with a mocking tone,seeing how your eyes rolled at the back of your head everytime he trusted into you,your mind felt hazy.

''i-im sorry kaveh''you tried to beg for forgiveness from him but you were too fucked out of your mind to form a sentence,your mouth gapping open the only thing coming out being your moans.

''by the time im done with you the only thing you will be screaming is my name''he huffed still frustratedas his pace never slowed down and became more brutal.

👹itto

itto is not the type to loose his but....he was so done with you,he already had kuki to boss him around all the time but you...you were a different type of bossy,you wouldnt stop talking until what you wanted got done.

''fuck itto slow down~''you whine,itto showing no mercy as he pounded deep into you at a brutal pace,while he pulled your hair as he fucked you from behind.

''You think you can boss me around''he growled his merciless pace never stopping one bit,you mind felt blank unable to think a smart comeback anymore you were basicly moaning mess at this point.You have never seen the oni be so frustrated with your attitude before which was really out of character for him to do so.

itto hit your sweet spot over and over again with his cock earning more moans from you in the process,brace yourself because it was going to be a long night for you as the oni wasnt going to stop anytime soon until he gets his messages across.

[sovksluv]

GTYU2K - static chapter 1

✰ . pairing - ex!Luke Castellan x italian!fem!singer!reader smau

✰ . summary - dating an ex-frat boy was definitely not the best idea, but now that you’re only a girl he used to know, you’re making tons of money off him and his lying, cheating ass, iykwim 😉

✰ . includes - badassness, italian singer but no specified race, cussing probably, sad luke because he regrets what he did

✰ . series taglist - @sluttysammyy

✰ . pjo taglist - @perseus-jackass @niktwazny303 @st4rzl7

✰ . now playing - GTYU2K by Alexis Munroe

✰ . a/n - im not really sure how artists like talk about their new albums and stuff so taylor swift is my inspo!! also PLEASE if you haven’t, GO LISTEN TO Alexis Munroe (aka princessbri) ALSO!!! pictures do NOT depict the reader!!

✰ . series masterlist

y/ny/ln u make me sick

view all comments

larueclarisse FUUUUCK HIM !!! U DONT NEED HIM 🫶🏽❤️‍🔥

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln ridding myself of allllll the bullshit

ׂ╰┈➤ user09 ATE

missbeauregard soooo excited !!! and so proud of you lovie 💕💕

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln ilyyyy mwah mwah 💋💋

seaweedbrainbaddie um where’s my photo creds 🤨🤨🤨🤞🤞

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln no

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie yes

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln no

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie YES

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln FINE. 📸 creds to @seaweedbrainbaddie (stupid name btw)

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie thank you and FUCK YOU

ׂ╰┈➤ annab3th LANGUAGE.

view more

pipesqueak drop the album alreadyyy!! i’m dying waiting 😫

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln coming soon i promise ml 💋

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak not soon enough :(

iamchris_h can’t let bro know i fw this 😣

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse don’t even know why ur friends w such a loser

ׂ╰┈➤ iamchris_h we all make mistakes guys

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse his dad definitely did 🥱

ׂ╰┈➤ missbeauregard CLARISSE.

hater77 she’s just obsessed with her ex like if it’s so bad why make a whole album about him LMFAO

ׂ╰┈➤ user54 ur just mad she’s making money and u aren’t 🤣

larueclarisse GIRLS NIGHT ‼️🥂❤️‍🔥 tagged: @y/ny/ln @missbeauregard @pipesqueak

view all comments

pipesqueak i had so much fun !!! 💕💕

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse WE ALL NEED TO GO OUT TOGETHER AGAIN?!?&:8

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak YES !

y/ny/ln holy shit i’m so hung over but at least i look good 🤷‍♀️

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse only Y/n Y/ln can get full on shitfaced and still look good 😫❤️‍🔥

seaweedbrainbaddie omg guys why wasn’t i invited :(((( 💔😖

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln you’re a boy. it was girls night.

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse you’re like 8??

ׂ╰┈➤ missbeauregard you would probably just complain the whole time

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak you can’t even drink

ׂ╰┈➤ annab3th you’re annoying.

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie babe you weren’t even there ??

view more

itslukecastellan she looks so pretty

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse boy gtfo

ׂ╰┈➤ iamchris_h Luke i can’t even defend you anymore 🤦🏽

y/ny/ln just posted a new story

view reply from larueclarisse:

larueclarisse YESSSSS IM SO EXCITED 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

y/ny/ln my biggest supporter 💕

view reply from missbeauregard:

missbeauregard DISSIN HIM AND MAKING MONEY!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOUUUU

y/ny/ln thank you babyyyyyy <3333

view reply from cast311anbackup:

cast311anbackup i miss you

y/ny/ln leave me aloneeeee how many mf times do i have to block you.

y/ny/ln i’m not the girl that u used 2 know🤷‍♀️

comments turned off

© sovksluv 2024, please do not repost or translate my work!

[anxiousthoughts365]

Drama

TW: Long term health conditions

'Moony!'

Remus is on his feet so fast that he feels something pull in his lower back. He knows he'll be feeling that for days, but the genuine distress in Sirius' voice has him moving as soon as he's upright. He has to focus so that he doesn't trip on the cane he'd snatched up as he rose, but he's in the bathroom in record time.

'Pads?' He pauses in the doorway when he finds the other man sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor, his hands twisted around his long black locks and his aristocratic face wet with tears.

'I ... I ...' Sirius is already hiccuping, so Remus carefully lowers himself to his knees in front of his husband. When he feels stable, he reaches out and presses the palm of his hand over Sirius' heart, right in the middle of his chest. He can feel it thrumming under the Rune he knows is tattooed right there, under his shirt, but that's not the purpose of the touch.

Sirius' eyes close at the prompt, and Remus waits, watching while the man takes a few slow, steadying breaths. It's only when the beating under his palm has slowed to almost normal that he murmurs, 'Look at me, Cariad.'

Sirius' eyes open, and even though they're swimming, Remus can see calm focus in those pools of silver, and he lets out a breath of his own. He raises one eyebrow, a silent nudge, and Sirius' voice is quiet as he says, 'I found a grey hair.'

In their youth, the dramatics would have earned Sirius a sound clip around the head and a severe tongue-lashing for the absurd bullshit. But they're 20 years in now, 15 years married, and Remus had learned early on that the berating did nothing. Sirius was dramatic to his core, and no amount of chastising would change that.

'Show me,' he simply replies. Sirius gives him a grateful look before turning around, tipping his head back to allow Remus to examine his locks.

'Right here,' he sighs, reaching behind him to point firmly at a particular spot. Remus doesn't even want to know how or why he had been looking so closely at the back of his own head. Instead, he just starts sifting through the black strands, taking his time. He doesn't find a grey hair.

He finds six.

'Alright,' he says slowly, thinking about how best to break the news. He opts for humour. 'I guess we can get rid of that portrait of you that we have stashed in the attic. It's clearly not working.'

Sirius wails, spinning around to throw himself into Remus' waiting arms.

'I'm hideous!' Sirius cries, burying his face into the threadbare jumper covering Remus' torso. 'I dont want to be getting old and ugly and grey!'

'Oi!' Remus protests. He had started going grey the day he'd turned twenty.

'Oh, you know what I mean,' Sirius huffs, sitting back and waving a dismissive hand at Remus as he wipes at his cheeks. 'It suits you, Moony. You look refined, dignified. I'm going to look so -'

'Sexy,' Remus purrs, leaning closer and smirking when Sirius' breath hitches, his tears stopping suddenly.

'W-what?' Sirius blinks stupidly at him, and Remus is immediately thrilled that he's managed to derail the spiral so quickly. He doesn't often do this, he usually just responds to Sirius' antics with a dry sarcasm that gets his husband grinning and sending back his own sharp jibes. But Sirius has always been precious about his looks, and Remus is willing to pull out the big guns for this.

'You're going to look so fucking sexy, Love,' Remus goes on, his smile growing when Sirius' eyes drop to his mouth, his pupils blowing wide. 'Your hair will match your eyes, and you're going to have the evidence of our happiness and our fights and our hardships show on your lovely skin, and your body is going to get a little softer so that my hands will fit your curves more perfectly than they already do. And I can't wait.'

'Moony,' Sirius whispers, a light flush creeping across his cheekbones as he meets Remus' gaze, swallowing hard at whatever he sees in the werewolf's eyes. He sways forward, and he's almost there, so Remus goes in for the kill.

'My very own silver fox,' he rumbles.

Sirius pounces. And as he falls back onto the cool tile of their bathroom floor, as his husband follows him down and sets about showing his appreciation for Remus' innate ability to catch him, Remus can't help but think how this will be worth the two days in bed that he's likely going to need after this.

[simpingladyforyourmom]

Little punishment' huge package

: I'm back again with another one cause i'm bored as fuck so here ya'll bitches go

Let's say ony was one of those aggressive niggas

your ass better be his good girl or you'll be having a package growing inside of you for nine damn months

sadly your ass came in the house with the worst mood ever

enjoy your soon to be created package

Well you came in the house in a bad mood from you coworker constantly bothering you for random bullshit and then you manager that was pushing your ass around all day, and for ony as always he was chillin in his room playin CoD with his homeboys, connie and eren. as you make you way into the bedroom ony

greets you with "What the fuck yo! Why you walking up in here with that bad attitude!"

you just stand there like a idiot not really knowin what to do but you know one thing for sure you don't want to make the nigga upset. but your attitude gets in the way and you snap back

"You always sayin I walk around with a bad attitude!" you say with a snappy attitude.

ony looks at you and says "Because yo ass always walking around with a bad attitude now change your fuckin tone!"

you roll your eyes and reply with a "Okay"

ony stares at you with a angry look, "okay? as ony get up and walks towards you and pushes your ass on the wall

"I said change your tone. and don't you ever roll your eyes at me, bitch" he says

"Im sorry, babe" you say.

ony grabs your neck and puts a little bit of pressure, "Yo, when im talkin to you look at me, and if I tell yo ass to do somethin, you betta do that shit. Im your nigga not you bitch, got that?"

you nod yes

"good now take your clothes off" he says letting go of your neck.

"w-what" you ask confused as hell

"I said take your clothes off!" ony yells.

as you begin to take your clothes off you notice the boner on his pants, ony sits back down and plays his game, but not before yelling

"And take that shit off right, I dont need your ass strippin, and get over here"

as you take the rest of your clothes off, you slowly walk over to ony.

ony tells connie and eren that he'll be back and shuts the computer off, you stand there awkwardly with your clothes in hand, not knowing what to do with them. ony takes the clothes from you and throws them on the floor.

"Lay yo ass down on the bed" he says

"Okay" you say

as you lay down on the bed, ony begins to crawl on the bed until he's on top of you.

"So, I know why you walkin round with a bad attitude" ony says

"Why's that" you ask.

ony leans over to the drawer, opening it, taking something out, he leans back and reveals a bottle of lotion

"Because yo ass been so busy workin all the time and shit, and yo ass hasn't been givin me any attention"

"Babe, I can give you attention tonight if you want" you say

ony smirks and says "Too late now. But dont worry, your gonna get plenty of attention tonight"

as ony opens the bottle of lotion, he squeezes some on his hands.

"Now lay back and relax" he says as he squirts some lotion on your chest, you wince at the cold sensation,

ony spreads the lotion all over your chest, slowly rubbing the area around your nipples, ony notices the sudden rise of them

ony begins to pinch and pull at your nipples, he looks up and sees your face of pleasure,

"Damn, your enjoying this aint ya" he says,

"A little" you say with a moan

ony chuckles and starts sucking on your left nipple, his hands start to wonder, one goes to your waist while the other rubs you through your panties.

you moan loudly at the feeling, the way ony rubs his hand against your womanhood and the feeling of his tongue and teeth teasing your nipple

"b-babe.." you moan,

ony looks up and sees the look of pleasure on your face, he then starts to bite and lick his way to your other nipple,

"Babe..I want you inside me" you moan

"Your gonna have to wait" he says

"b-but babe.." you moan

ony pulls away and looks at you

"You wanna get fucked so bad? I bet you been cravin a big dick in yo pussy all day"

you shake your head yes

"But your ass been so bad today, that you dont deserve it"

"Please, baby" you moan.

ony looks at the state of your body, he then pulls your panties off and spreads your legs,

"I guess since your beggin so hard, I can reward you" he says

"Thank yo--Ahhh!" you yell as ony slides a finger in your pussy

"Damn, your soaked" ony says with a smirk,

"Shut up" you moan

ony laughs and starts sliding his fingers in and out, the lewd noises fill the room, and your moans follow suit,

ony watches your reaction to his fingers, "damn, yo ass is suckin my fingers up so hard"

you close your eyes and try to focus on the feeling of his fingers inside you, but then your eyes shoot open as soon as ony inserts another finger in.

ony smiles at the look of pleasure on your face.

"Do you like that, bitch" he asks.

"Y-yes" you moan

ony laughs and starts fingering you faster, watching you squirm around.

"I wanna see you fuck yourself on my fingers"

you begin to thrust your hips up, and moan as soon as you feel the tips of his fingers hit your sweet spot.

ony smiles and starts to rub your clit, making you moan louder,

"B-babe..im cumming!" you yell.

ony smiles and starts going harder, and not long after, you squirt all over his fingers,

"Damn, you just squirted all over my fingers" he says as he watches your pussy contract,

you moan loudly, and catch your breath

"You enjoy that?" ony asks.

"Yeah" you say with a smile,

ony grabs the bottle of lotion, "good. Now im gonna fuck the shit outta you"

you smile and spread your legs, and watch as ony squeezes more lotion on his hand.

ony strokes his dick with lotion, making his dick nice and slick.

he then spreads the remaining lotion all over your pussy and inserts himself in.

"Fuuuccckkk" ony moans as he slides into your pussy.

"Oh god" you moan

"damn" ony says as he slides deeper

"Fuck" you say.

ony then grabs you legs and throws them over his shoulder, "now imma fuck the shit out of you"

ony begins to thrust hard and deep, your eyes roll to the back of your head as you enjoy the feeling of his dick going deep in your pussy,

"Shit" ony moans,

ony picks up his pace and starts going faster and faster, and soon you find yourself cumming.

"O-ony, I'm c-cumming" you say.

ony smirks and starts going faster and soon your squirting everywhere,

"You like that shit, bitch?" he asks

"Yes!" you moan

ony keeps pounding and not long after he's cumming as well.

"Fuck" ony moans as he finishes his nut.

he then pulls out and lays down next to you.

"Damn, that was good" you say,

ony smiles, "yeah, but yo ass is still bein punished"

you laugh and say "oh shit, what is it?"

ony smirks "you gotta clean this up and we gonna cuddle for a bit"

you laugh and say "Okay, I love you"

"I love you too" ony says

*time skip to a few weeks after you little punishment and your little package is growing in your stomach even more*

"Bitch, Im gonna kill yo ass"

"Oh god.." you think to yourself,

ony walks up behind you and turns you around,

"What did I say about being late and shit"

"Im sorry" you say.

ony smirks and puts his hand on your stomach.

"Yo, how the fuck are you only two weeks pregnant, and yo ass already lookin like your about to pop?"

"Shut up" you say.

ony smiles and starts rubbing your stomach.

"I cant wait to meet her" he says.

you smile and rub his hand.

"I love you"

"I love you too" ony says.

[superemeralds]

i think about ur piece with shadow captioned “welcome to the promised land” ALOT… with that, i wondered what your thoughts are on the sonic movies (both the ones that came out and the new one thats coming) in regards to their portrayal of the police/military/GUN.

I’m personally really disappointed in whats been done so far (with Tom being a cop, like cmon man what. and with the goofy portrayal of the military, especially that old general guy in the second movie) and im really nervous about whats coming, with team sonic working WITH GUN (and now Tom and Maddie wearing military uniforms) in the trailers. I have a suspicion that Maria’s death will be an “accident”, like a very MCU style “sometimes the military makes mistakes…” bullshit. itd really suck to see this series become another piece of copaganda, especially since like. its so out of character, like sonic is unique in the way its been blatantly anti military (for the most part) in the games. it wasn’t revolutionary by any means but it is arguably a core part of the original story.

What are your thoughts? sorry for the long ask, I’m a big fan of your writing and thoughts on sonic (huge heart of a monster fan!). Hope youre having a good day!

big same. I've made the comic in question as a response to the first trailer for sonic 3 actually.

the trailer made me feel a LOT of emotions, mostly negative if im honest, and the only thing that I liked from it was the scene of shadow bursting from his tank thing and being sloppin wet that looked like he was standing in the rain. so i went and made a comic of shadow in the rain. and i made it as anti military and anti capitalism as i could.

becasue sonic 3's marketing, in my opinion, especially after the second trailer came out, is a perfect axample of everything wrong with the current western (mostly USA, but the USA influences the entire world so.) society. it exemplifies capitalism, militarism, consumerism, a lack of emotional depth and the infantalization as well as mliking (for a lack of better word; i mean how advertizements are usually heavily marketed at kids because parents will buy anyhting to shut up their crying annoying meat bags and therefore spend money on shit they dont want nor need) of children (that detective pikachu bit was so painful). and let's not forget the fatphobia. it was so painful to go back and watch the first trailer to freshen my memory for this reply oh god.

when sonic 2 came out i was really happy with the movie. i think sonic 2 is miles better than 1 in terms of characters and fun, most obviously because there's more of actual sonic characters in it now then the first. the first felt mostly like a pilot honestly. the second one had much more fantastical details and elements thatreally leaned into sonic's world. Or at least... the environment artists tried with it. I remember being OBSESSED with the fact tehre was a mural of perfect chaos in that labyrinth for like 1 second and theorized about what it could mean. while watching the movie i even speculated it was foreshadowing that perfect chaos was gonna be the secret final boss of the movie as that was only the halfway point of the runtime. having sobered from the hype i understand its a neat detail from the cg department that means absolutely nothing.

the worst thing is that the movie (sonic 3 now) itself might be like. a well made movie with good (enough) writing and good visuals and whatever. sonic might betray the military and go his own way bc here he's a little younger and he's learning (he didnt grow up w military so he might be blissfull yunaware bc hes only been fed propaganda through hollywood movies so far) and him meeting shadow and learning about his fate might change his mind. we don't know yet.

The marketing sometimes is detatched from the movie itself so it'll misrepresent things for the sake of "bait" to get ppl to spend money to watch it (the teenage kraken movie suffered from that bc it was fun imo i liked it). Or even just to get people to make viral reactions to get even MORE news of the movie out and attract more people. Especially when adapting a story that already exists I think it makes them reveal a LOT of the movie (I saw ppl complain they reveal the entire movie in the trailer, i think given the fact we already know all those key moments shown it's fine)

actually. does anyone know if the us army funded this movie? i know it does a lot of movies ever since iron man

idek where im going w this rn im just. eghh.... def not gonna see it in cinema ♥ my money goes towards literally anything else

[wordy-little-witch]

Hiiii i hope im not annoying u or anything w my frequent asks dksjzjzjz if so pls dont feel pressured to answer it, it do be tiring esp in this heat n economy 😬

i just saw another great post abt buggy having oblivious survival clown rizz and im like that victorian era boy with a bowl saying "pls sir" CUZ i need more of it😭🥹🤲🥣 i never knew i needed it but now my eyes are opened,,, so im guessing buggy has rizzed more than half of the entire pirate population and the landlubber population, but does dis also extend to the enemy/marines? 😳 also can i ask for more buggy accidental rizz headcanons n ideas? Actually any ideas u have r rly great, its extra dopamine or feels when u update lmao

thank u for replying to my questions🥹

Hiiiii~ don't worry about being annoying, love, I love hearing from you! Honestly, having asks makes me all fluttery and happy, it's like digital tumblr penpal friendship hehe~

As for Accidental Rizz Buggy, BABES I have TOO MANY THOUGHTS

On the Marine topic, ABSOLUTELY and I am LOSING IT over the mental image of Buggy having a fan club in the Navy and he just Doesn't Know.

I already ship Rosinante/Corazon and Buggy ANYWAY and so I am so down for pirate/marine ships bc it's so good ong-

Specifically speaking, I can see Buggy accidentally doing some accidental charming either by showing some of his rarely touched on moral ambiguity. Like. Dude does not subscribe to the general populace, he marches to his own drum and we love him for it. The world of One Piece has a recurring theme of Morally Gray and No Such Thing As Good Or Bad type of stuff. Especially with Pirates vs Marines.

So like. Imagine Buggy being involved in some sort of mad wild bullshit hunt/fight, he's escaping the Marines, he's cackling, making a show of it and between one taunt and the next, he catches sight of movement in an alley way.

Two pairs of eyes stare back, wide, terrified, and he freezes.

Immediately all fight and threat drains, and he turns to the alley. "Hey," he greets softly, not too gently but with care dripping from the vowels. "What are you brats doing out here, huh? It's dangerous."

The Marines try to cut in and Buggy disengages at best, forces them back at worst.

"Time and a place," he tells them, "change of plans, there's kids here. Time out, buddy."

He's soft with them, but not alarmingly so to their wild eyes. He recognizes the signs there, and he simply lets them choose their pace.

The officers there view a new side of a fierce pirate, one who would quail under a sharp look one moment and glare back, hissing in fury thr next to a commanding officer with two little ones to protect. He is multifaceted. He is complex. He is.....

Really pretty.

Uh oh.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Bonus, Buggy absolutely accidentally charms the FUCK out of Sengoku, both in a CoraBug sense and in a non shipping sense. I feel like Buggy would annoy his way into being Sengoku's beloathed favorite. He's suffering through it all. Very much "unfortunately, I like you" type of deal.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: does something surprising/cute/attractive/competent

The world: oh I guess I gotta kiss this muppet senseless

[oh-no-its-bird]

Hey, it's the person who bombarded you with their idea about your team ro timetravel + team ro defects au. Just wanted to say I am. So sorry for my nonsence. It's not an excuse but at the time the Thoughts about Story were plaguing me and i needed to get them out of my head and i thought oh it's based off your au, maybe you'd like to see. But you neither asked for my insane ramblings nor even know me so like. I'm real sorry and pretty embarrased about dumping All That on you and if you wanna go ahead and delete the asks you absolutely can i'll probably feel less stupid if you do honestly. Again, very sorry for my bullshit and pls have a good day

Replying to this immediatley actually to not leave u in suspense but SHUT UP DONT APOLOGIZE I LOVED UR ASK IVE BEEN SUPER BUSY THIS WEEK IS ALL IM SO SORRY !!! BUT I ACTUALLY SAW UR ASK LIKE. AS SOON AS IT CAME IN. ABSOLOUTLEY DELIGHTED ME. THEN U SENT ANOTHER AND I WAS OUT HERE KICKING MY FEET TWIRLING MY HAIR READING IT , LITERALLY WENT "OHHHH ANOTHER ONE!!" OUTLOUD I WAS SO HAPPY

I like replying to my asks, especially ones involving prompts, whenever I'm in a specific headspace to write, bc I always wanna give the ask the long reply it deserves! I always feel so bad just replying w smthn short so I like to really sit down and give whatever I got sent my full attention. U sent me smthn so thoughtful I wanna send u smthn thoughtful back yk!!

I've been kinda brain dead latley tho so uhhh. I havent been replying to asks too much, oops !

BUT I STILL LOVE THEM ALL AND I LOVED URS SO MUCH, NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR DUMPING UR IDEAS IN MY ASKBOX, I LOVE HOW ENTHUSIASTIC U WERE IN THEM!!! I MEANS SO MUCH TO ME TO BE ABLE TO SEE MY IDEAS GIVE OTHER PEOPLE BRAIN WORMS IM SCREAMING FR!! THANK U SM FOR UR ASK I LOVED IT AND I STILL LOVE IT AND I WILL REPLY. SOON. EVENTUALLY. PROBABLY THIS WEEK IDK I HAVE A LOT GOING ON. BUT I LOVED IT THO THANK U

[st-rayy]

hi ^^ could you make a song fic w kavetham (rom) w the song good luck babe ? tyy >_<

Hope this is to your liking, Anon xo Yk, I love this song but it was so hard to actually write something to this, therefore this is very messy oopsies ^^;

Not beta read we die like sumeru katheryne Happy Halloween btw

rough word count: 1338

─────────────────

(please dont) stop the feeling | KaveTham SongFic - Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan

credit: .hunni. on hoyolab

“I’m home” Kaveh said, putting his keys into the little dish on a shelf. Usually, the scribe would’ve greeted the blonde, even if only with a hum, but it never came.

As Kaveh stepped into the house, he looked around, only to find Al-Haitham occupied with a book, as always. “Hey, Hayi.” The blonde tried again, only to be met with a glance and a grunt which indicated that Al-Haitham acknowledged his presence.

Weird, Kaveh had throught, Al-Haitham had never been /this/ quiet, and it worried him. Sure, they still argued occasionally, and Kaveh didn’t pay his rent on time a few days ago, but that had never been a problem in their 1 year relationship, at least Al-Haitham never voiced it was a problem.

“Are you mad?”

“No.”

“But something’s wrong. Want to tell me?”

The blonde was met with silence, his cue to not push the topic. If Al-Haitham didn’t want to talk about it, Kaveh wouldn’t force him to, ever, and the scribe knew that.

Maybe that was a mistake.

Al-Haitham had started to become more and more distant, treating Kaveh less and less like his boyfriend. He didn’t even call him petnames anymore. The blonde had waved it off as a “mood swing” before, but as it stretched over multiple days, it concerned him.

“Could you hand me the book, Kaveh?”

“Why?”

The room fell silent, a confused expression forming on the grey haired man’s usual nonchalant expression. “Because I asked you?” Al-Haitham replied, but Kaveh only shook his head. “Why did you stop calling me baby, Hayi?” Kaveh decided being direct was the best approach, but Al-Haitham’s nonchalant expression started to piss him off.

“You’re being cliché” Al-Haitham replied with a shrug, reaching over to grab the book himself.

The phrase had startled Kaveh. Yeah, maybe he was a bit cliché, but did that really matter? Would Al-Haitham actually call it “love” what they had going on? Or had he just enjoyed being the person that Kaveh would call “baby”?

The same evening, the blonde had decided to call it off and Al-haitham hadn’t even tried to stop him. The scribe had excused his actions by saying it would just be the way he is, that they had just been a casual thing going on.

Kaveh felt tried when he heard those words. He felt hurt, it’s not fair.

“No matter how hard you try to deny this, Haitham, it will always be there.”

“It’s just the way I am, doesn’t mean I actually like guys, Kaveh.”

“Well, good luck, babe.” The blonde told Al-Haitham, having heard enough nonesense coming from the usually smart scribe. He packed his things and left the same night, staying with Cyno until he could afford to life by himself.

It’s fine, Kaveh told himself, it’s cool.

There was no reason to look over, no reason for him to stare at the grey haired man that was kissing the red haired girl. There was no pain in his chest when he saw that, that was just his mind playing tricks on him.

Who was he kidding?

The loud chatter and loud music in the tavern partially toned out his thoughts that spiraled about Al-haitham, the man who was sitting not too far away from him. Nilou sat right next to Al-Haitham, clearly drunk and clinging to his arm like her life depended on it. And the worst of it all? Kaveh had used to be in that position Nilou took from him only a couple of years ago.

The wound, the fact that Al-Haitham had started to treat Kaveh more like a roommate, more like a “buddy” than his boyfriend, still fresh like it happened just yesterday.

“That’s just the way I am.”

Bullshit.

The scribe had suddenly started to say that they were wrong, a mistake they had made. Kaveh had never understood why Al-Haitham had suddenly started to deny his feelings, why he had suddenly started to deny the way he had been, why he thought that it was wrong.

Because whatever Al-Haitham reasoned with, was always made up, always a lie that Kaveh could see through every single time. They didn’t break up because Kaveh didn’t make Al-Haitham happy, they didn’t break up because of their fighting, they didn’t break up because Kaveh paid his rent a little later than he should have.

No, they both know that none of those things were the reason. But if Al-Haitham was happy now, Kaveh should be too, right?

Just that he wasn’t. Neither of them was.

Nilou wasn’t the first girl Al-Haitham dated right after breaking up with Kaveh. There were at least 4 others before Nilou, all of which had never been able to put the same smile on Al-Haitham’s lips as Kaveh had.

Al-Haitham could shoot another shot, could force himself into a hundred more relationships with women, but it would never stop the feeling deep inside of him, they both knew. Yet, here he was, kissing and holding Nilou in a filled tavern.

Kaveh had attended their wedding, not because he wanted to but because Cyno had asked him to. He wouldn’t have come, wouldn’t have been so insane to watch his ex-boyfriend get married to a woman that the scribe didn’t even love.

There were many people, Kaveh, unlike Cyno and Tighnari, was not one of the groomsmen, the traveler had taken his place instead.

“I do” those words felt wrong coming from Al-Haitham’s lips.

What felt even more wrong was to be jealous of someone that Kaveh knew he could never be, Al-Haitham’s wife.

“Congratulations!” Cyno and Tighnari had cheered for them, the latter more than the other. Kaveh forced a smile, trying to be brave for the sake of Nilou and Al-Haitham, he would be an ass to ruin their wedding now.

“Congratulations.” The blonde forced the word out of himself, shaking both of their hands. He couldn’t help but notice the way Al-Haitham flinched when their fingers had touched, how awkward.

Nilou and Al-Haitham probably enjoyed their day, Kaveh couldn’t bring himself to stay for long, as cold as that sounded. Cyno and Tighnari knew about the dilemma, of course Kaveh had told them right away when it had happened all those years ago, but it seemingly never affected the friendship with either of them.

Well, good luck, babe.

Al-Haitham awoke in the middle of the night, next to Nilou, like countless of other nights. Another uneasy sleep, another uneasy dream of the past.

He put his head in his hands, the ring on his finger cool against his skin. The scribe glanced at the red haired girl next to him, her peaceful snored filling the room. He watched her sleep, the rise and fall of her chest not helping with the pain in his own chest as he had hoped.

Al-haitham’s eyes shifted back to his hands, which had fallen onto the blanket in front of him. The light of the moon reflected itself in the metal of his ring, his reminder of what he and Nilou had acomplished just a few weeks ago.

He was nothing more than Nilou’s husband now, wasn’t he? When had Al-Haitham even started to think about marrying Nilou? Never, honestly, she had asked him to marry her and he stupidly said yes.

The scribe took the ring off his finger, rotating it his hand to let the light reflect against the different engraved letters on it. Thinking about the wedding a face suddenly popped up in his mind. Red eyes that stared at him with an intense look, a simple word being spoken before said person left the wedding soon after.

Kaveh. Sweet Kaveh that would even go to his wedding after Al-Haitham had left him hanging all those years ago. The memory was a painful reminder of his situation. He glanced at Nilou again but in the red of her hair he only saw the red of those beautiful eyes he missed ever since they called it off.

In his mind, he was standing face to face with Kaveh, the blonde mouthing words that he didn't want to hear.

“I told you so.”

[lovelyrotter]

I read your thing about stridercest. I didn’t super like the ship (I’m more of a lalondecest girlie) but I respect the hell out of the textual analysis you did. Anyway do you have any good fic recommendations? I want to see what you see in it.

oh fuck yeah i love sharing ship stuff especially with ppl who dont usually go here and vice versa for me. its like hell yeah im digging in sand and its fun i love my sand and then i turn around and woah i had no idea there was even MORE sand just behind me ya dig? that might not have made any sense hahaha. its the joy of trading pokemon cards except with ships

but okay heres some of my current faves. bear in mind i read mostly M and E rated stuff but ive got a sprinklin of lower ratings in here too. im also gonna categorize this list by stridercest flavour. theres a lot so this turned out like ridiculously long

anyone else goin through this feel free to link yalls faves in the replies too cause im ravenous. especially if its haldirk. im constantly craving haldirk

guardiancest

doku line terminus & two steps away from the county line by lildogie these first cause theyre my ultra faves rn and i cant get enough of this au. set in the same universe but county line is the prequel. a/b/o verse with lotsa interesting political stuff and also interpersonal dynamics. dave & dirk are there too and are real cute. its also got mysterious time travelling. i really cant sell these two enough like i am not doin these justice

davedirk / dirkdave

if i woke up next to you by bumbly | G, ~2,700 words, complete. SUPER sweet relationship study, made me fuckin melt. this author has really good stuff for other ships too but mind the archive warnings

dont joke about hentai face broctopus transplants im eating cheese n onion pringles here by smrtnik | M, ~1k words, complete. this one made me fuckin melt its so tender. it truly feels like were peeking into their life together. also great title

Stasis State by Caeslin | T, ~3k words, complete. another really intimate feeling one. its so fuckin sweet. mind the tags for typical dirk suicide attempt but its not on screen its moreso the recovery and how dave is affected by it

“stupid fucking bullshit” ad nauseam by anon | T, 13.7k words, complete. REALLY GOOD AU. trans striders, fade to black sex scene. the boys are cute and you can feel how much theyre drawn to each other immediately. wish there was more of this

sometimes the bad guy wins by nutrimercenary | E, ~7.5k words, ongoing. wow. oh wow. ive been looking for a davedirk fic like this for a long time. PLEASE read the warnings and tags but its so fuckin good. a crossdimentional narrative tug-o-war between dave and ult dirk i fuckin love it

got it goin on by bumbly | E, 7.5k words, complete. dirk indulges daves mommy kink after prying it outta him. its cute and funny and sexy it made me smile. their dynamic is sooo sweet

helping hands by ghostlyAnarchist | E, 5.1k words, complete. THIS IS SO GOOD. its got trans man dave and is genuinely one of the hottest transmasc fics ive read so far and boy howdy ive read a lot. slight warning for dysphoria discussion but its not too bad its all just hot af a dick-sucking venn diagram by Elendraug | E, 10k words, complete. first off domestic af. very established relationship and you can tell. its so fuckin sweet. i looove this one. its like the best kind of silly realistic smut its one of my faves of all time

STILL WITH ME by egbert | E, 8k words, complete. dave and dirk strife and then fuck in the bathroom. holy shit this is hot. their want is like tangible in this one

brodave and a!brodirk

hardware by orphan_account | E, ~8k words, complete. dave gets some dick piercings and bro goes insane about them. hot as hell and also features bottom bro which is my fave. its got a couple uses of the r-slur but its also from 2011 so i take it w/ a grain of salt. 2011 and earlier fics are like internet artifacts (/pos)

but you better never pull it by hapaxlegomena | E, 5k words, complete. wow. WOW. sub top bro and dom bottom dave need i say more. this sub bro activates my cute aggression the power play is great mars & murrie's by orphan_account | E, 6.8k words, complete. a!brodirk, omorashi. super hot!!!! alpha dave is sooo embarrassed about his piss kink but dirk wins in the end hahaha. really intriguing which i know sounds funny on an omo fic but read it and youll know. i love this alpha dave

temporal sunset by Plajus | M, 19.5k over 5 chapters, complete. a!brodirk. holy shit what a ride. this one held me hostage and now lives in my brain rent free (bdum tiss sorry). dirk is terminally ill so i know it wont be for everyone but give it a try and goddamn you wont be disappointed. trust me

a swinging pendulum by ghostlyAnarchist | T, ~900 words, complete. a!brodirk time/dream bubble encounter. wow just wow. the want. the yearning immaterial by LPSunnyBunny | E, 1k words, complete. a!brodirk, trans dirk. holy shit!!!!!! holy shit!!!!! hot hot hot!!!!!!! shower sex sensation control!!!!

haldirk

singular by 2x2verse | E, 6.8k words, complete. hal has an existential crisis dirk catches him and then they fuck tenderly about it. genuinely so romantic. im addicted to this kind of haldirk. honestly i just recommend the entire series diagnostics by 2x2verse | E, 2.9k words, complete. i know i just linked this authors whole collection of haldirk fics but holy crap this one in particular. dom/sub electrostim with sensory deprivation, hal is the dom. i LOVE how hes written here. very attentive domming, great details

A Fatal Error Has Occurred by Mortior | E, 42k words, 4/5 chapters. oh mortior my haldirk regent. really fuckin good character writing in an au where hal has an android body before the alpha session is started. read the tags for warnings. the tension between them is insane endangered by Mortior | E, 100k+ words, complete multichapter. holy fuck where to begin with this one. this is a haldirk sensation. post apocalyptic au where androids won the human-robot war. dirk runs into AR. AR takes an interest in him. dirk takes even more of an interest in AR. if youre gonna read any haldirk read this one

"im basically fucking him" series by Elendraug | T & E, all complete. so!!!!! fucking!!!!! tender!!!!! really cute haldirk progressing through their relationship

ridiculously late by cinnamonfreak | E, 21k, completed multichapter. a/b/o au where dirk suddenly presents. REALLY intriguing hal in this one i fuckin love the power play

roboporn by smrtnik | E, 3.9k words, complete. really fun power play in this one. hal is waterproofed externally but not internally. he gives dirk a handie over his open chassis torso. theres also really sweet snuggling afterwards

[retroactivebakeries]

The Scriptures of the Maidens as Dril Tweets

The Eternal Maiden: pissed off by the idea of my ass becoming grass The Desirable Maiden: drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or not, The Maiden at Sea: (witnessing the flaming wreckage of a 6-car pile up) ah. Respect. More power

The Maiden Entombed: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit The Maiden and Shadow: who the fuck is scraeming 'LOG OFF' at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off Lover and Maiden: damn it to piss. my wife replaced all of my anti-wife reading materials with Pro-Wife bullshit The Hunted Maiden: (dismissing waitress handing me the check with a hand wave) no thank you. i dont believe in any of that The Bride: i lvoe and cherish all of the girls of this site, and other websites. you all become my wife more and more with each passing day. Thank you The Dancer: my watch beeps whwich means its time to stand in front of my ex-wife's house and play "Hit THe Road Jack" while dacning and licking her mail The Desperate Maiden: ive signed a 1 Month Pact w/ my wife which grants her the right to viciously berate me online, as long as she watches & supports my Stream's The Clay Maiden: (playing russian roullette and its my turn) hasta the vista mother fucker (shoots the other guy The Drowning Maiden: joke's on you; i actually love being body slammed by one dozen perfect wrestlers. and my mouth isn't filled with bloodm, it's victory wine The Maiden on the Shelf: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian . The One-Handed Maiden: BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES The Maiden at War: astrally projecting my brain into antifa head quarters and memorizing their combat patterns is the easiest shit i have ever done in my life That Old Thing: if someone posts something that is good then i will look at it and think its good. Simple The Savory Maiden: Your replies have been simply Fire. Love the energy but please do keep any talk of boiling me alive to a minimum as that is against the law The Maiden in Terror: big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck The Maiden in Chains: i was tricked into sending $100000 to a man claiming to be DB Coopers son. and not a single one of my followers even bothered dialing 911 Absence: no The Maiden and the Dust: so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement The Maiden and the Scythe: people come up to me and say, "I will never use the bathroom. I will never shit" and i gotta tell them pal, sooner or later youre gonna shit The Maiden's Promise: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying The Expectant Maiden: as far as im concerned the best revenge is ordering wolf piss online & pouring it into soneones car. "living well" is too hard The Maiden and the Road: obliviously driving m y car through chernobyl , absorbing lethal anmounts of radiation while looking for cute girls