#dont reply w bullshit

[kath-artic]

ohhhh my god if this fight is about what i think its about im gonna lose it

[kuratm]

i need to tell you all that after i beat the ice titan in book 6, i screamed FUCKING FINALLY so loudly that my dad called out from the other room like 'did you have to say fuck'? NOT EVEN GONNA ASK ME WHAT GARNERED THAT REACTION NOR ANYTHING...nah, just straight up 'stop swearing, girl, i s2g'

[sanzuballs]

theyre the type toooooo….

ft. zoro, luffy, sanji, law, ace, robin, nami

hii guys. this is gonna be real fluffy (mostly) and sweet so hopefully u guys eat this up. have fun reading my bullshit headcannons.

——————————

zoro is the type of guy to come into the room at 12 am after a intense workout and want nothing but your pussy and then to take a nice shower after.

“zoro? is that you?” he replied with a grunt and grabbed you while peppering your face with kisses. “youre all sweaty, baby.”

“kay then let me fuck you then we can take a shower together, please?”

—

luffy is the type of guy to talk about your guys’ sex life to others on accident. hes just so proud to be with you.

“this would totally taste better if y/n let me eat it off her. oh! like she did last night!” he’d chirp aloud.

“LUFFY!!”

__

sanjis the type of guy to try not to admit his dirty thoughts when hes alone with you.

“sanji do you want me to start moving?” you said as you sat on his thigh with your arms around him.

“what?! you can do anything you’d please. i dont care what you do i want you to be happy! why would you think that?!” he’d spurt out.

—

ace is the type of guy to fall asleep right after sex with his cock still in you.

“fuck, ace you always do this.” you smiled as his sweaty body held you close to him. you were unable to move from his tight grip. it kept his cock snug in your pussy.

his face was too peaceful and cute so you just sank in.

—

law is the type of guy to make it so obvious he had a boner while trying to hide it.

“lawww!! do you like this dress?” you smile at him with your new small dress on.

“its so damn small.” he just decides to take a seat and set his hat down right ontop the fly of his jeans.

“law. i know you like it.”

__

robin is the type of woman to let you do whatever makes you happy. for example, if you want to cuddle on her boobs then go ahead, if you want to sleep inbetween her thighs then go ahead.

“robin im so tired but cant find i good place to rest on the bed.” you said as you shuffled around the bed.

“come here then.” she grabs you and your head hits her plush tits.

—

nami is the type of girl to seriously do anything for you.

“y/n? are you okay? you seemed a little down today.” she grabbed your shoulder. you turned around then gave her a smile.

“yeah i just got a headache today.” you replied.

“oh, do you wanna take a bath or nap?” she asked.

“im okay nami, thank you!” you smiled at her.

then you found the luffy and ussop and chopper with big welts on their head from nami punching them for being “too loud for y/n.”

—

monster trio again bc im inlove w them

zoro is the type of guy get jealous easily.

“that damn bartender couldnt keep his eyes off you.” he said as you guys left the bar.

“zoro you know im only yours.” you smirk at him in your tipsy state.

“y/n! you-u know what saying! i just dont.. um like sharing, okay??!” he turns away while blush covers his face.

—

luffy is the type of guy to overstimulate you so bad.

“luffy, you said that was the last one.” you whined as he rammed into your overstimulated pussy.

“im sorry baby. i love when you tighten around me so much. you know that right?” he smiles at you.

you couldnt even hear him as you were on the verge of passing out.

—

sanjis the type of guy that you would just napping in your bed with a pair of your panties in his hands.

“sanji?” you found a lump of a man in your bed. he was definitely out but in his hands you saw a pair of your favorite panties.

“you perv.” you smiled as you got into the bed with him.

—-

this was so funnnnnn <3

[billgetsmewet]

Make-up S€x..

Bill Kaulitz

-MUTUALS WHO FLWD ME FOR FASHION PLS IGNORE THIS OMDS-

warnings : s€x , fighting/arguing, sad start (great end😊)

You were at your apartment, waiting for Bill to come home.

He was always getting home late nowadays, barely paying attention to you, even though you tried to let him know multiple times that you felt neglected.

He told you he would be home by 11pm on the dot, he sweared he wouldnt be late this time.

Wasnt a surprise that it was already 1am and he still wasnt in your sight.

Around 1:54am he barged in, not even saying hello, before dropping his bag and his jacked straight on the floor and going to bed.

He knew this bothered you but he couldnt give less of a shit.

You walked up to him, about to confront him, but he didnt even look at you, you were on the edge of breaking into tears.

You sat down next to him, trying to spit a word out of your mouth without crying.

“Bill..” you mumbled, your voice all quiet and shakey.

No reply.

“Bill!” you said, a bit louder this time.

Still no reply.

“Oh for fucks sake, Bill!” you angered, raising your voice enough for him to finally look at you, but you could tell he was already tired of you talking to him.

“Bill..” you let out another mumble.

“What?” he replied harshly

“Talk to me..” you begged

He didnt even budge, he was too tired to make an effort.

“You said youd be home by 11.. its almost 2am..” you said, waiting for a reply… but he just stared at you.

Finally he sighed, replying.

“I got busy”

Why has he been so cold and ignoring..? you thought to yourself.

“I was worried” you whispered, almost breaking into tears on the spot, you knew he was lying, you knew he was just having fun with his friends.

“You should be used to it by now” he replied coldly, tearing your heart apart.

You couldnt hold it back anymore and you let the tears shed.

He sat up, snapping back to reality.

You walk out of the room, not wanting him to see you cry.

He follows.

You sit down on the couch in the livingroom, curling up.

He sits down next to you.

“L..listen.. i didnt mean to hurt you.. ive been busy.” he stuttered.

“Bill, i know youve just been out with your friends, i know damn fucking well youre not busy!” you cried.

“Ive been worrying my ass off, you sweared youd be home on time.. Im not your mom, i cant stop you from coming home late, but you can do the bare minimum and make an effort to be home the same day atleast!” you wiped your tears.

He sighs.

“Y/N i just want to live life until i can! im only young now!” he says.

“Bullshit.” you sigh. “You lie too, theres no point.”

“Bill, you have to understand im young too! And i happen to want to live my life with you! I make efforts, i dont want to beg for your love.”

He feels his heart break as you say that.. did he really hurt you that much?

“Im.. im..” he couldnt seem to get the words out of his mouth..

You zip your sweater down, youre getting hot from crying so much, and Bills body heat is making you feel hotter.

He looks at you as if he saw an angel fly by, you looked gorgeous, but he knew he shoudlnt focus on that, however his eyes were gkued to your chest.

“Im..” he mumbles.

“Youre what, Bill? Is it really that fucking hard?” you mumble, not loud enough to make it clear to him what you said..

“W-what..?! I-Im not.. hard? I..” he tried fighting down what he thought your assumptions are.

You look him up and down, rolling your eyes.

“I- i mean! i… oh god” he stutters.

“Youre a fucking idiot..”

You walk back into the bedroom.

He follows once again.

You lay down on your side of the bed, he lays down on his, facing you.

“Im sorry..” he finally spits out.

“Wasnt so hard now was it?”

He looks down, ashamed.

You turn over, you dont want to see his face right now.

He glides his hands down your stomach, pulling you closer.

“Can i make it up to you?”

His words gave you butterflies, but you didnt reply, you just wanted him to read your mind.. or your body language.

He glides his hands even lower, finally touching the bottoms of your pyjamas.

God, his hands are so gentle..

He pats your thighs a bit before bringing his hands back up and tucking on the string of your pyjama bottoms.

“Can i?”

You nod.

He unties the string, sliding his hands underneath your pyjama bottoms.

He can feel how wet you already are.

Your breathing gets heavier and heavier by the second.

You arch your back, begging for some spark, begging him to finger you.

—————————————————————————

You can barely catch your breath , as he thursts his cock in and out of you at such a fast pace that youre surprised you can even keep up.

With each thurst he slides his cock just to the very tip, only to slam it right back in.

He moans with each thurst, your noises align.

He feels as if he cant control himself…

He can feel both of you reaching your climaxes.

“Hold onto me.. okay? Fuck…”

“Close?” he whines.

You nod, moaning heavily.

“Me too baby, me too..”

He continues, not missing a single beat from the rythm.

Not long after hes on the edge of finishing.

“I..Im.. fuck..”

He tries speaking again.

“Im gonna.. cum..”

He moans as he says the last word, releasing his seed inside of you, making you finish aswell.

He makes sure to fuck his cum into you, not wasting a single drop.

—————————————————————————

You guys cuddle in bed, resting after whatever just happened.

“Im sorry” He whispers.

You pull him closer as an answer.

“I promise on my life i wont be late again.. im sorry..”

He kisses you, caressing your head, before both of you fall asleep.

—————————————————————————

Alright i hope u guys liked that! sorry the smut part was short:(

Also i apologize for the spelling mistakes and all that, im hungarian and i dont know how to spell fancy words, ykwim?

Tried my best! Love u!

[burnedwriter]

thinking abt alhaitham/kaveh/itto with a s/o who practically acts real bossy with them but becomes absolutely dumb when they get fucked. if its okay w u, could u pls write abt them (or any one of them) railing the brains out of their s/o after a day of bossing them around? no rush, and feel free to write as you please! thank you!

A/n:thank you anon for the req!,i apologise for the wait,i didnt forgot your req,my inbox is in flames right now soooo,i hope you enjoy,i wrote about all 3 of them because i just couldnt choose one

warnings:smut,!gender-neutral language used,doggystyle(itto),against the table(kaveh),degrading(alhaitham),rough sex,teasing,gagging.

🌱al haitham

''are you done bossing me around all day you little slut,dont forget who is the real boss here''al haitham groaned in your ear,his chest pressed against your back as he pounded into you.

''what are you too cock drunk to answer''he teased you seeing no reply from you but only moans,his fingers deep inside your mouth gagging you as you drooled all over them,unable to form a single sentence but only reply with moans.

Al haitham thrusting into you at a fractic pace,his frustration showing with each one of his thrust,one more brutal than the other.He wasnt the hotheaded type nor the type to loose his cool at anything,and now you learned the hard way that you fucked up really bad on why you shouldnt make him mad

His strong thrusts knocking the the air out of your lunges,as you held into the bed sheets for dear life,al haitham was not going to stop anytime soon and its was going to a long night for you.

🏛kaveh

''oh kaveh please~''you cried out,your legs pushed onto either side of your head as kabveh fucked into your hole,he couldnt hold back anymore,he tried to be patient with you but afte today you took it too far with your bullshit,couldnt you wait for one hour until he was done with his assignment or do you wanted him to fail?you were suprised he was so patient for so long.

''where is your bossy attitude now hmm''kaveh said with a mocking tone,seeing how your eyes rolled at the back of your head everytime he trusted into you,your mind felt hazy.

''i-im sorry kaveh''you tried to beg for forgiveness from him but you were too fucked out of your mind to form a sentence,your mouth gapping open the only thing coming out being your moans.

''by the time im done with you the only thing you will be screaming is my name''he huffed still frustratedas his pace never slowed down and became more brutal.

👹itto

itto is not the type to loose his but....he was so done with you,he already had kuki to boss him around all the time but you...you were a different type of bossy,you wouldnt stop talking until what you wanted got done.

''fuck itto slow down~''you whine,itto showing no mercy as he pounded deep into you at a brutal pace,while he pulled your hair as he fucked you from behind.

''You think you can boss me around''he growled his merciless pace never stopping one bit,you mind felt blank unable to think a smart comeback anymore you were basicly moaning mess at this point.You have never seen the oni be so frustrated with your attitude before which was really out of character for him to do so.

itto hit your sweet spot over and over again with his cock earning more moans from you in the process,brace yourself because it was going to be a long night for you as the oni wasnt going to stop anytime soon until he gets his messages across.

[sovksluv]

GTYU2K - static chapter 1

✰ . pairing - ex!Luke Castellan x italian!fem!singer!reader smau

✰ . summary - dating an ex-frat boy was definitely not the best idea, but now that you’re only a girl he used to know, you’re making tons of money off him and his lying, cheating ass, iykwim 😉

✰ . includes - badassness, italian singer but no specified race, cussing probably, sad luke because he regrets what he did

✰ . series taglist - @sluttysammyy

✰ . pjo taglist - @perseus-jackass @niktwazny303 @st4rzl7

✰ . now playing - GTYU2K by Alexis Munroe

✰ . a/n - im not really sure how artists like talk about their new albums and stuff so taylor swift is my inspo!! also PLEASE if you haven’t, GO LISTEN TO Alexis Munroe (aka princessbri) ALSO!!! pictures do NOT depict the reader!!

✰ . series masterlist

y/ny/ln u make me sick

view all comments

larueclarisse FUUUUCK HIM !!! U DONT NEED HIM 🫶🏽❤️‍🔥

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln ridding myself of allllll the bullshit

ׂ╰┈➤ user09 ATE

missbeauregard soooo excited !!! and so proud of you lovie 💕💕

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln ilyyyy mwah mwah 💋💋

seaweedbrainbaddie um where’s my photo creds 🤨🤨🤨🤞🤞

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln no

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie yes

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln no

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie YES

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln FINE. 📸 creds to @seaweedbrainbaddie (stupid name btw)

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie thank you and FUCK YOU

ׂ╰┈➤ annab3th LANGUAGE.

view more

pipesqueak drop the album alreadyyy!! i’m dying waiting 😫

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln coming soon i promise ml 💋

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak not soon enough :(

iamchris_h can’t let bro know i fw this 😣

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse don’t even know why ur friends w such a loser

ׂ╰┈➤ iamchris_h we all make mistakes guys

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse his dad definitely did 🥱

ׂ╰┈➤ missbeauregard CLARISSE.

hater77 she’s just obsessed with her ex like if it’s so bad why make a whole album about him LMFAO

ׂ╰┈➤ user54 ur just mad she’s making money and u aren’t 🤣

larueclarisse GIRLS NIGHT ‼️🥂❤️‍🔥 tagged: @y/ny/ln @missbeauregard @pipesqueak

view all comments

pipesqueak i had so much fun !!! 💕💕

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse WE ALL NEED TO GO OUT TOGETHER AGAIN?!?&:8

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak YES !

y/ny/ln holy shit i’m so hung over but at least i look good 🤷‍♀️

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse only Y/n Y/ln can get full on shitfaced and still look good 😫❤️‍🔥

seaweedbrainbaddie omg guys why wasn’t i invited :(((( 💔😖

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln you’re a boy. it was girls night.

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse you’re like 8??

ׂ╰┈➤ missbeauregard you would probably just complain the whole time

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak you can’t even drink

ׂ╰┈➤ annab3th you’re annoying.

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie babe you weren’t even there ??

view more

itslukecastellan she looks so pretty

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse boy gtfo

ׂ╰┈➤ iamchris_h Luke i can’t even defend you anymore 🤦🏽

y/ny/ln just posted a new story

view reply from larueclarisse:

larueclarisse YESSSSS IM SO EXCITED 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

y/ny/ln my biggest supporter 💕

view reply from missbeauregard:

missbeauregard DISSIN HIM AND MAKING MONEY!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOUUUU

y/ny/ln thank you babyyyyyy <3333

view reply from cast311anbackup:

cast311anbackup i miss you

y/ny/ln leave me aloneeeee how many mf times do i have to block you.

y/ny/ln i’m not the girl that u used 2 know🤷‍♀️

comments turned off

© sovksluv 2024, please do not repost or translate my work!

[simpingladyforyourmom]

Little punishment' huge package

: I'm back again with another one cause i'm bored as fuck so here ya'll bitches go

Let's say ony was one of those aggressive niggas

your ass better be his good girl or you'll be having a package growing inside of you for nine damn months

sadly your ass came in the house with the worst mood ever

enjoy your soon to be created package

Well you came in the house in a bad mood from you coworker constantly bothering you for random bullshit and then you manager that was pushing your ass around all day, and for ony as always he was chillin in his room playin CoD with his homeboys, connie and eren. as you make you way into the bedroom ony

greets you with "What the fuck yo! Why you walking up in here with that bad attitude!"

you just stand there like a idiot not really knowin what to do but you know one thing for sure you don't want to make the nigga upset. but your attitude gets in the way and you snap back

"You always sayin I walk around with a bad attitude!" you say with a snappy attitude.

ony looks at you and says "Because yo ass always walking around with a bad attitude now change your fuckin tone!"

you roll your eyes and reply with a "Okay"

ony stares at you with a angry look, "okay? as ony get up and walks towards you and pushes your ass on the wall

"I said change your tone. and don't you ever roll your eyes at me, bitch" he says

"Im sorry, babe" you say.

ony grabs your neck and puts a little bit of pressure, "Yo, when im talkin to you look at me, and if I tell yo ass to do somethin, you betta do that shit. Im your nigga not you bitch, got that?"

you nod yes

"good now take your clothes off" he says letting go of your neck.

"w-what" you ask confused as hell

"I said take your clothes off!" ony yells.

as you begin to take your clothes off you notice the boner on his pants, ony sits back down and plays his game, but not before yelling

"And take that shit off right, I dont need your ass strippin, and get over here"

as you take the rest of your clothes off, you slowly walk over to ony.

ony tells connie and eren that he'll be back and shuts the computer off, you stand there awkwardly with your clothes in hand, not knowing what to do with them. ony takes the clothes from you and throws them on the floor.

"Lay yo ass down on the bed" he says

"Okay" you say

as you lay down on the bed, ony begins to crawl on the bed until he's on top of you.

"So, I know why you walkin round with a bad attitude" ony says

"Why's that" you ask.

ony leans over to the drawer, opening it, taking something out, he leans back and reveals a bottle of lotion

"Because yo ass been so busy workin all the time and shit, and yo ass hasn't been givin me any attention"

"Babe, I can give you attention tonight if you want" you say

ony smirks and says "Too late now. But dont worry, your gonna get plenty of attention tonight"

as ony opens the bottle of lotion, he squeezes some on his hands.

"Now lay back and relax" he says as he squirts some lotion on your chest, you wince at the cold sensation,

ony spreads the lotion all over your chest, slowly rubbing the area around your nipples, ony notices the sudden rise of them

ony begins to pinch and pull at your nipples, he looks up and sees your face of pleasure,

"Damn, your enjoying this aint ya" he says,

"A little" you say with a moan

ony chuckles and starts sucking on your left nipple, his hands start to wonder, one goes to your waist while the other rubs you through your panties.

you moan loudly at the feeling, the way ony rubs his hand against your womanhood and the feeling of his tongue and teeth teasing your nipple

"b-babe.." you moan,

ony looks up and sees the look of pleasure on your face, he then starts to bite and lick his way to your other nipple,

"Babe..I want you inside me" you moan

"Your gonna have to wait" he says

"b-but babe.." you moan

ony pulls away and looks at you

"You wanna get fucked so bad? I bet you been cravin a big dick in yo pussy all day"

you shake your head yes

"But your ass been so bad today, that you dont deserve it"

"Please, baby" you moan.

ony looks at the state of your body, he then pulls your panties off and spreads your legs,

"I guess since your beggin so hard, I can reward you" he says

"Thank yo--Ahhh!" you yell as ony slides a finger in your pussy

"Damn, your soaked" ony says with a smirk,

"Shut up" you moan

ony laughs and starts sliding his fingers in and out, the lewd noises fill the room, and your moans follow suit,

ony watches your reaction to his fingers, "damn, yo ass is suckin my fingers up so hard"

you close your eyes and try to focus on the feeling of his fingers inside you, but then your eyes shoot open as soon as ony inserts another finger in.

ony smiles at the look of pleasure on your face.

"Do you like that, bitch" he asks.

"Y-yes" you moan

ony laughs and starts fingering you faster, watching you squirm around.

"I wanna see you fuck yourself on my fingers"

you begin to thrust your hips up, and moan as soon as you feel the tips of his fingers hit your sweet spot.

ony smiles and starts to rub your clit, making you moan louder,

"B-babe..im cumming!" you yell.

ony smiles and starts going harder, and not long after, you squirt all over his fingers,

"Damn, you just squirted all over my fingers" he says as he watches your pussy contract,

you moan loudly, and catch your breath

"You enjoy that?" ony asks.

"Yeah" you say with a smile,

ony grabs the bottle of lotion, "good. Now im gonna fuck the shit outta you"

you smile and spread your legs, and watch as ony squeezes more lotion on his hand.

ony strokes his dick with lotion, making his dick nice and slick.

he then spreads the remaining lotion all over your pussy and inserts himself in.

"Fuuuccckkk" ony moans as he slides into your pussy.

"Oh god" you moan

"damn" ony says as he slides deeper

"Fuck" you say.

ony then grabs you legs and throws them over his shoulder, "now imma fuck the shit out of you"

ony begins to thrust hard and deep, your eyes roll to the back of your head as you enjoy the feeling of his dick going deep in your pussy,

"Shit" ony moans,

ony picks up his pace and starts going faster and faster, and soon you find yourself cumming.

"O-ony, I'm c-cumming" you say.

ony smirks and starts going faster and soon your squirting everywhere,

"You like that shit, bitch?" he asks

"Yes!" you moan

ony keeps pounding and not long after he's cumming as well.

"Fuck" ony moans as he finishes his nut.

he then pulls out and lays down next to you.

"Damn, that was good" you say,

ony smiles, "yeah, but yo ass is still bein punished"

you laugh and say "oh shit, what is it?"

ony smirks "you gotta clean this up and we gonna cuddle for a bit"

you laugh and say "Okay, I love you"

"I love you too" ony says

*time skip to a few weeks after you little punishment and your little package is growing in your stomach even more*

"Bitch, Im gonna kill yo ass"

"Oh god.." you think to yourself,

ony walks up behind you and turns you around,

"What did I say about being late and shit"

"Im sorry" you say.

ony smirks and puts his hand on your stomach.

"Yo, how the fuck are you only two weeks pregnant, and yo ass already lookin like your about to pop?"

"Shut up" you say.

ony smiles and starts rubbing your stomach.

"I cant wait to meet her" he says.

you smile and rub his hand.

"I love you"

"I love you too" ony says.

[wordy-little-witch]

Hiiii i hope im not annoying u or anything w my frequent asks dksjzjzjz if so pls dont feel pressured to answer it, it do be tiring esp in this heat n economy 😬

i just saw another great post abt buggy having oblivious survival clown rizz and im like that victorian era boy with a bowl saying "pls sir" CUZ i need more of it😭🥹🤲🥣 i never knew i needed it but now my eyes are opened,,, so im guessing buggy has rizzed more than half of the entire pirate population and the landlubber population, but does dis also extend to the enemy/marines? 😳 also can i ask for more buggy accidental rizz headcanons n ideas? Actually any ideas u have r rly great, its extra dopamine or feels when u update lmao

thank u for replying to my questions🥹

Hiiiii~ don't worry about being annoying, love, I love hearing from you! Honestly, having asks makes me all fluttery and happy, it's like digital tumblr penpal friendship hehe~

As for Accidental Rizz Buggy, BABES I have TOO MANY THOUGHTS

On the Marine topic, ABSOLUTELY and I am LOSING IT over the mental image of Buggy having a fan club in the Navy and he just Doesn't Know.

I already ship Rosinante/Corazon and Buggy ANYWAY and so I am so down for pirate/marine ships bc it's so good ong-

Specifically speaking, I can see Buggy accidentally doing some accidental charming either by showing some of his rarely touched on moral ambiguity. Like. Dude does not subscribe to the general populace, he marches to his own drum and we love him for it. The world of One Piece has a recurring theme of Morally Gray and No Such Thing As Good Or Bad type of stuff. Especially with Pirates vs Marines.

So like. Imagine Buggy being involved in some sort of mad wild bullshit hunt/fight, he's escaping the Marines, he's cackling, making a show of it and between one taunt and the next, he catches sight of movement in an alley way.

Two pairs of eyes stare back, wide, terrified, and he freezes.

Immediately all fight and threat drains, and he turns to the alley. "Hey," he greets softly, not too gently but with care dripping from the vowels. "What are you brats doing out here, huh? It's dangerous."

The Marines try to cut in and Buggy disengages at best, forces them back at worst.

"Time and a place," he tells them, "change of plans, there's kids here. Time out, buddy."

He's soft with them, but not alarmingly so to their wild eyes. He recognizes the signs there, and he simply lets them choose their pace.

The officers there view a new side of a fierce pirate, one who would quail under a sharp look one moment and glare back, hissing in fury thr next to a commanding officer with two little ones to protect. He is multifaceted. He is complex. He is.....

Really pretty.

Uh oh.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Bonus, Buggy absolutely accidentally charms the FUCK out of Sengoku, both in a CoraBug sense and in a non shipping sense. I feel like Buggy would annoy his way into being Sengoku's beloathed favorite. He's suffering through it all. Very much "unfortunately, I like you" type of deal.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: does something surprising/cute/attractive/competent

The world: oh I guess I gotta kiss this muppet senseless

[lesbonoi]

ive been working on this for like. a couple weeks. i got the heights from the allspark almanac 2. generally arranged in height order but kibble and helmet bullshit make it kind of hard to tell. the line is based on op's back heel since he's used as the reference

some direct comparisons i know everyone's interested in plus a couple that interest ME specifically. any other comparisons u want shoot me an ask

screenshot of the original page w the charts i used

also please dont comment any like. height difference/size kink whatever in the tags or replies

[lovelyrotter]

I read your thing about stridercest. I didn’t super like the ship (I’m more of a lalondecest girlie) but I respect the hell out of the textual analysis you did. Anyway do you have any good fic recommendations? I want to see what you see in it.

oh fuck yeah i love sharing ship stuff especially with ppl who dont usually go here and vice versa for me. its like hell yeah im digging in sand and its fun i love my sand and then i turn around and woah i had no idea there was even MORE sand just behind me ya dig? that might not have made any sense hahaha. its the joy of trading pokemon cards except with ships

but okay heres some of my current faves. bear in mind i read mostly M and E rated stuff but ive got a sprinklin of lower ratings in here too. im also gonna categorize this list by stridercest flavour. theres a lot so this turned out like ridiculously long

anyone else goin through this feel free to link yalls faves in the replies too cause im ravenous. especially if its haldirk. im constantly craving haldirk

guardiancest

doku line terminus & two steps away from the county line by lildogie these first cause theyre my ultra faves rn and i cant get enough of this au. set in the same universe but county line is the prequel. a/b/o verse with lotsa interesting political stuff and also interpersonal dynamics. dave & dirk are there too and are real cute. its also got mysterious time travelling. i really cant sell these two enough like i am not doin these justice

davedirk / dirkdave

if i woke up next to you by bumbly | G, ~2,700 words, complete. SUPER sweet relationship study, made me fuckin melt. this author has really good stuff for other ships too but mind the archive warnings

dont joke about hentai face broctopus transplants im eating cheese n onion pringles here by smrtnik | M, ~1k words, complete. this one made me fuckin melt its so tender. it truly feels like were peeking into their life together. also great title

Stasis State by Caeslin | T, ~3k words, complete. another really intimate feeling one. its so fuckin sweet. mind the tags for typical dirk suicide attempt but its not on screen its moreso the recovery and how dave is affected by it

“stupid fucking bullshit” ad nauseam by anon | T, 13.7k words, complete. REALLY GOOD AU. trans striders, fade to black sex scene. the boys are cute and you can feel how much theyre drawn to each other immediately. wish there was more of this

sometimes the bad guy wins by nutrimercenary | E, ~7.5k words, ongoing. wow. oh wow. ive been looking for a davedirk fic like this for a long time. PLEASE read the warnings and tags but its so fuckin good. a crossdimentional narrative tug-o-war between dave and ult dirk i fuckin love it

got it goin on by bumbly | E, 7.5k words, complete. dirk indulges daves mommy kink after prying it outta him. its cute and funny and sexy it made me smile. their dynamic is sooo sweet

helping hands by ghostlyAnarchist | E, 5.1k words, complete. THIS IS SO GOOD. its got trans man dave and is genuinely one of the hottest transmasc fics ive read so far and boy howdy ive read a lot. slight warning for dysphoria discussion but its not too bad its all just hot af a dick-sucking venn diagram by Elendraug | E, 10k words, complete. first off domestic af. very established relationship and you can tell. its so fuckin sweet. i looove this one. its like the best kind of silly realistic smut its one of my faves of all time

STILL WITH ME by egbert | E, 8k words, complete. dave and dirk strife and then fuck in the bathroom. holy shit this is hot. their want is like tangible in this one

brodave and a!brodirk

hardware by orphan_account | E, ~8k words, complete. dave gets some dick piercings and bro goes insane about them. hot as hell and also features bottom bro which is my fave. its got a couple uses of the r-slur but its also from 2011 so i take it w/ a grain of salt. 2011 and earlier fics are like internet artifacts (/pos)

but you better never pull it by hapaxlegomena | E, 5k words, complete. wow. WOW. sub top bro and dom bottom dave need i say more. this sub bro activates my cute aggression the power play is great mars & murrie's by orphan_account | E, 6.8k words, complete. a!brodirk, omorashi. super hot!!!! alpha dave is sooo embarrassed about his piss kink but dirk wins in the end hahaha. really intriguing which i know sounds funny on an omo fic but read it and youll know. i love this alpha dave

temporal sunset by Plajus | M, 19.5k over 5 chapters, complete. a!brodirk. holy shit what a ride. this one held me hostage and now lives in my brain rent free (bdum tiss sorry). dirk is terminally ill so i know it wont be for everyone but give it a try and goddamn you wont be disappointed. trust me

a swinging pendulum by ghostlyAnarchist | T, ~900 words, complete. a!brodirk time/dream bubble encounter. wow just wow. the want. the yearning immaterial by LPSunnyBunny | E, 1k words, complete. a!brodirk, trans dirk. holy shit!!!!!! holy shit!!!!! hot hot hot!!!!!!! shower sex sensation control!!!!

haldirk

singular by 2x2verse | E, 6.8k words, complete. hal has an existential crisis dirk catches him and then they fuck tenderly about it. genuinely so romantic. im addicted to this kind of haldirk. honestly i just recommend the entire series diagnostics by 2x2verse | E, 2.9k words, complete. i know i just linked this authors whole collection of haldirk fics but holy crap this one in particular. dom/sub electrostim with sensory deprivation, hal is the dom. i LOVE how hes written here. very attentive domming, great details

A Fatal Error Has Occurred by Mortior | E, 42k words, 4/5 chapters. oh mortior my haldirk regent. really fuckin good character writing in an au where hal has an android body before the alpha session is started. read the tags for warnings. the tension between them is insane endangered by Mortior | E, 100k+ words, complete multichapter. holy fuck where to begin with this one. this is a haldirk sensation. post apocalyptic au where androids won the human-robot war. dirk runs into AR. AR takes an interest in him. dirk takes even more of an interest in AR. if youre gonna read any haldirk read this one

"im basically fucking him" series by Elendraug | T & E, all complete. so!!!!! fucking!!!!! tender!!!!! really cute haldirk progressing through their relationship

ridiculously late by cinnamonfreak | E, 21k, completed multichapter. a/b/o au where dirk suddenly presents. REALLY intriguing hal in this one i fuckin love the power play

roboporn by smrtnik | E, 3.9k words, complete. really fun power play in this one. hal is waterproofed externally but not internally. he gives dirk a handie over his open chassis torso. theres also really sweet snuggling afterwards

[retroactivebakeries]

The Scriptures of the Maidens as Dril Tweets

The Eternal Maiden: pissed off by the idea of my ass becoming grass The Desirable Maiden: drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or not, The Maiden at Sea: (witnessing the flaming wreckage of a 6-car pile up) ah. Respect. More power

The Maiden Entombed: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit The Maiden and Shadow: who the fuck is scraeming 'LOG OFF' at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off Lover and Maiden: damn it to piss. my wife replaced all of my anti-wife reading materials with Pro-Wife bullshit The Hunted Maiden: (dismissing waitress handing me the check with a hand wave) no thank you. i dont believe in any of that The Bride: i lvoe and cherish all of the girls of this site, and other websites. you all become my wife more and more with each passing day. Thank you The Dancer: my watch beeps whwich means its time to stand in front of my ex-wife's house and play "Hit THe Road Jack" while dacning and licking her mail The Desperate Maiden: ive signed a 1 Month Pact w/ my wife which grants her the right to viciously berate me online, as long as she watches & supports my Stream's The Clay Maiden: (playing russian roullette and its my turn) hasta the vista mother fucker (shoots the other guy The Drowning Maiden: joke's on you; i actually love being body slammed by one dozen perfect wrestlers. and my mouth isn't filled with bloodm, it's victory wine The Maiden on the Shelf: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian . The One-Handed Maiden: BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES The Maiden at War: astrally projecting my brain into antifa head quarters and memorizing their combat patterns is the easiest shit i have ever done in my life That Old Thing: if someone posts something that is good then i will look at it and think its good. Simple The Savory Maiden: Your replies have been simply Fire. Love the energy but please do keep any talk of boiling me alive to a minimum as that is against the law The Maiden in Terror: big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck The Maiden in Chains: i was tricked into sending $100000 to a man claiming to be DB Coopers son. and not a single one of my followers even bothered dialing 911 Absence: no The Maiden and the Dust: so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement The Maiden and the Scythe: people come up to me and say, "I will never use the bathroom. I will never shit" and i gotta tell them pal, sooner or later youre gonna shit The Maiden's Promise: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying The Expectant Maiden: as far as im concerned the best revenge is ordering wolf piss online & pouring it into soneones car. "living well" is too hard The Maiden and the Road: obliviously driving m y car through chernobyl , absorbing lethal anmounts of radiation while looking for cute girls

[daydadahlias]

Hahah you had a fight with matt pauling on insta? I need to know what about hihi

tea below <3

ok so i dont know if yall have been keeping up with this guy but he has turned into such a fucking BITCH over the last year. like, i try not to be too negative on this blog and start drama and stuff but me and ALL my homies hate Matt Pauling. he can get FUCKED as far as I'm concerned.

I've been following him since Superbloom, right?? bc i loved me some mattshton and I appreciated Matt & Ashton's cute lil spiritual hippie vibe they had going on and their whole "love u brother" "love u roomie <3" energy. it was very cutie!! But then Matt fell off a cliff (and that's oversimplifying what happened and forgive me for sounding insensitive about a lifechanging injury but i hate this fool) and he turned into a little brat piss baby.

He went private after his accident but I'm still following him so every single Instagram reel I see, his comments are at the VERY top so i ALWAYS see them (does this guy get fucking paid to talk shit on insta or something?? does he not have a life?? these are the things i wonder) and this guy just does not stop YAPPING about BULLSHIT. he is sOOO AAA.

he is SO blatantly fatphobic and sexist (ie. talking about "toxic feminisim" in comment sections) and also just a fucking idiot (telling cancer patients meditation will heal them) and finally, I had about a fucking enough of that stupid guy so I replied to him as you can see below:

and this motherfucker pulls out some backward ass eugenics movement type fuckshit !?!?! oh, his original comment was him saying "[fat people] will do anything except work."

yeah no i hate Matt Pauling deeply. but i rest easy at night knowing Ashton has beef w/ him now and they don't live together or hang out anymore <3

[g-xix]

no wait can u pls explain the trent thing ??? who is he tryna get with ???? why is he ??? what relevenavce ??? why are people so salty ???? I DONT GET IT

RIGHT SO

Started off with Miaxmon (girlfriend of WillNE, British YouTuber) receiving a DM from Trent (TAA, Liverpool footballer) which Will exposed in this Tweet:

Funny haha, nothing too deep j having a laugh

I think that everyone had a little laugh at this bc yk, it's funny asf and Will didn't react poorly to it either...

Joke continues in Twitter and on Mia's post that haha, Trent shot his shot with "WillNE's girl" n whatever

A few months ago there was the video on Sky Sports or smth were Will and Mia went to a Newcastle v Liverpool game asw, where a few jokes about Trent were thrown about... All just a bit of fun.

Then a couple days ago, bang:

Still a wee bit heartbroken, but Mia and Will have broken up... :( Hate to hear it, I (and quite a few others, from what i've seen in replies) thought they'd get married n all but i suppose that's it

But anyways, quite a few jokers thought it'd be funny to make jokes that it's Trent's time to get her, shoot his shot, she's single now so he's safe to chat to her... Yk, just banter nothing too deep

But anyways, I make my joke on Tumblr abt Trent's time to shoot his shot, but guess what?

The tumblr!Trent girlies that saw my post were PISSED.

I think it's just the natural fangirl rite of passage to defend your man when he's in drama or being slated by anyone (online especially), and TAA girls don't seem to stand for ANY bullshit

Fair dos, I mean, tbh I like Trent but these user's got me thinking that maybe I don't wanna admit I like him that much 🤐

Either way, conclusion: -August 2022, Trent slid into Mia's dm's -Will made a Tweet laughing at it -Everyone on the Internet trolls Trent for about a week -Will and Mia breakup in Sept/Oct 2023 -Ppl joke it's Trent's time to shoot his shot w Mia again -Girls on Tumblr do not find the Trent joking funny.

Hopefully that's sort of cleared up what all the Trent-Will-Mia posts are about, lmk if i missed anything else out and pls don't send any death threats cuz im having a laugh at trent asw xxx

[cheolhub]

hey hey heyy!! i have a question about your first impressions of your moots and anons?

i did a few of my mutuals and my active anons 🥹

@ncteez was literally going to pee myself when she followed me. the first time we talked, we were doing a pc trade and i was lit RALLY so fucking terrified of her but now i love her and i miss her and she makes me feel better when i have an issue with anything. my hon <3

@rubyreduji i rmbr one of our first convos was months after we became mutuals— i was really drunk at a party and i told him everything that was happening. he’s the only person im not terrified to talk to because i alrdy know he hates me 🤗. fun fact: jj has seen me in my truest form bc he follows my finsta (everyone keep him in ur thoughts)

@agustdiv1ne ashlee, aur my god. my first thought abt tumblr user agustdiv1ne was ‘wow, this theme is so cute’ and my second thought was ‘wow, ashlee is so kind and chill and i think i would like her to be my best friend’ and now i hit her up at least once a week on some bullshit and i make her pick my next read or i tell her abt this bitch that owes me $500 <3 she understands me bc we were cut from the same cloth

@etherealyoungk i thought skye’s account was so cute 🥹🥹 omfg i remember the first time we interacted was on our birthday (april 30th, nobody forget) and ever since then she’ll come into my inbox and check in on me and it’s so endearing and makes my whole day. i also love hearing abt how she’s doing T-T NOW me and skye are lowkey bffls. we just buddy read a book together and it was saurrrr much fun, i love her sm 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

@majestyjun MILLIE WAS ONE OF MY FIRST TXT MOOTS. i love her so much omfg, i’ve always thought she was the coolest ever like 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i am kinda just her fan at this point like it’s so embarrassing. i get all blushy when she replies to my asks

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast i was kinda intimidated bc rj uses punctuation (which is literally fine and normal) and i thought she was mad every time i’d be in her ask box. now i think shes the funniest person alive and she’s my favorite person to annoy the shit out of.

@heesbaby MY FIRST IMPRESSION OF CINNA WAS THAT SHE WAS THE SWEETEST ANGEL EVER. i still think this by the way. i will literally get on one knee and propose and love her forever /srs.

@gyuswhore i think i thought em was really nice and quiet and i was so wrong. em is so fucking funny and unhinged in the best way possible. she’s probably the only person that will call me a bitch and an irresponsible spender (she’s never wrong)

@toruro my first thought of mika was adorable and i thought she was a really great writer. literally have her manhandling with chan tattooed on my brain. she is so nice to me and our brief biweekly interactions are very endearing to me <3

@homerunhansol J MY WORLD, i think ive always thought she was an angel in disguise and she’s ALWAYS been someone i want to be happy forever and ever and ever. i also think i thought her love for vernon was so cute bc i dont come across dolly’s very often and it’s just so endearing when i do bcos they are literally a gift from the gods. i love j ⭐️

@sunnylovespickles i thought sunny was so cute actually. i remember our first conversation and she was making me so nervous liejwheheb so cute and sweet like i’ll never get over the way she flattered me. (how to get to my heart: validate me the way sunny did)

@taekurai MY FIRST IMPRESSION OF MAX IS SO FRESH BC WE JUST BECAME MOOTS BUT OFNSHSBE I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER? love at first sight seriously. i thought she was so kind and i love the pink on her theme and i just love her sm fr.

🪴 dead plant nonnie T-T ive always been obsessed w them. they told me they liked my desk set up and ive been whipped ever since. no but fr, getting an ask from dead plant nonnie is the highlight of my day. they are someone i feel like i’d be really good friends with irl 🫂 dare i say bffs

🍀 lucky charm nonnie!!! i genuinely think they are my lucky charm bcos every time i’d get an ask from them, i’d literally get a boost of serotonin and my day would significantly improve :,( i love and miss them dearly and i will kill for them. (and make them tea whenever they lose their voice in rehearsal)

🛼 roller blade nonnie <333 I THOUGHT THEY WERE SO FUNNY (i still think theyre hilarious ofc) but they reminded me a lot of myself and i felt like every time i received an ask from them, id laugh to myself and be like “this is some shit i’d say” 😭 i enjoy they’re book reviews and im waiting for them to send an ask so i can talk about acotar with them 🤗 (cough cough, come home nonnie im on book three cough cough)

[aakariiiii]

Haha, Sorry I fell asleepˏˋ°•*⁀➷

features: Baji x Fem!reader

contains: uni student Baji approaching you for your number..

Requests: open

a/n: this is inspired by a song called haha, sorry I fell asleep by egg. Enjoy <3

____________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

You’ve had a crush on Baji for almost half a year now and sharing some classes with him didn’t help at all.

Usually, you were the quiet type of person, always trying to seem invisible and stay hidden from any sort of spotlight.

So when Baji approached you on a sunny day where the golden ball of fire sent streaks of gold down to the earth, heat pervasively echoing through the campus, you were taken aback.

Really taken aback that you gawked at him for good minute, mouth wide open.

“Hey….it’s fine if you don’ want my number y’know. Just close your mouth unless you want to catch a fly—“ Baji muttered, snapping you out of your thoughts as a flush of embarrassment creeping its way up to his neck which he rubs in order to shoo away the heat from.

“W-wait! I dont mind having your number..It’s just that I was taking by surprise because…I’m not the most noticeable person you know…” you spurted, which caused Baji’s sheepish smile to turn into a dazzling grin.

“You’re not noticeable? Haa? That’s bullshit! You’re so pret—Ah I mean give me your phone and I’ll give you mine,” he stuttered as the flush finally made it’s way to his cheek.

“Hu—“

“It’s nothing just give me the phone! I mean if you want to of course—“ but you cut him off by handing him your phone and taking his.

With trembling fingers, you typed ur number on his phone.

Handing you his phone back, he said:

“I have to go now, my friends are waiting for me. But I’ll see your around~”, winking in process which made your heart skip a beat. Or two.

“Yes! See you!” you said, flustered because of what just happened.

—————————————————————

Baji

hey

i just wanted to say this

now since i couldn’t say it earlier

but I think that you’re too pretty

to “not be noticeable” ahaha

hey again i’m sorry if this made you uncomfortable but I’m really saying the truth

fuck. did i make you that uncomfy? it’s been 5 days

do i just delete this? no nvm u have to see this.

i’ll be waiting for ur reply

———————————————————————

While you’ve been avoiding Baji’s messages for the whole week, you’ve been also avoiding his presence which was quite hard as the both of you were studying veterinary medicine, and he probably noticed the fact that you’ve been avoiding him. But hey, you did your best.

And the fact that he was approaching you just now startled the loving life out of you.

Fuck. Where do I go?

As you were about to turn away and sneak out from the cafeteria, a callous hand secured around your wrist.

It was Baji, he looked like he was running like his life depends on it, beads of sweat covering his flawless forehead and racing down to his neck.

Why does he look so attractive even when he’s fucking sweating.

“W-wait y/n!” he stuttered through gasping breaths.

You nodded your head, giving him a moment to gain his composure.

“I wanted to as-ask you, why have you been avoiding me for the whole week? did my texts make you uncomfortable…?“ he muttered, staring into your eyes.

You both just stood there, staring into each other’s eyes as every fracture of a movement and buzz of a sound faded into vacancy until his eyes were the only sort movement, the colour of honey hiding behind fearful irises that spoke in a faint whisper. I’m sorry, they said.

FUCK

“I—no, no—I’m sorry! I was in class and then fell asleep! I—“ you stuttered as the heat rose to the apples of your cheeks. How embarrassing, you cant even make a proper lie.

“T-then I kept waking up later and forgetting my phone..I—I really didn’t mean to leave you hanging there alone!” you bow, asking for forgiveness not only for leaving him on delivered, but also for making up some lies.

As your head lifted up from that bow, you were met by soft, doubtful eyes and a raised eyebrow.

“C’mere, let’s properly talk because I’m sorry to say, but I’m not buying this.” he said, dragging you by the wrist to a quieter place with much less people and stopping near a bench.

He sat there and patted the spot next to him, then just stayed quiet. It was so quiet, you could hear the sound of his breathes which made you shiver.

“I’m not mad about you not answering, y’know. I’m just wondering if I made you feel uncomfortable or weirded you out..” he muttered, small knots of embarrassment interwove into his voice, which made you regret the little lies you made.

“I—no you really didn’t , it made me really happy actually but I’m just…an awkward person. I didn’t want to spoil your impression of me, you know! I’m not used to guys being all nice to me and—I really—really couldn’t think of anything good to say..Do I say thank you? Do I compliment you back? Do I refuse the compliment?” you waffled as the heat spread from the apple of your cheeks to the rest of your face. He looked at you and his eyes told you to continue, he’s here to listen.

“I’m—I’m just afraid, y’know. You’re a really popular guy out here and I’m just a nobody, unlike you, and I’m scared that if I was seen with you—that’ll somehow increase the already high chances of me being all alone. Plus! I dont know what you meant that compliment as—was it a flirty way or a friendly way. How do I act around you? I dont want to seem fake but I also want to see cool—though I’m kinda lame but, y’know. So mind is telling me it’s better that way, which is why I told that I feel asleep, I’m sorry.” Your eyes were staring at the ground for the whole entire time while you dumped everything on Baji. As you averted your your eyes from the ground to Baji, the first thing they noticed was his wide agape mouth.

What the fuck did I just do. I’m so dumb.

“Hahaha—I was joking, I really fe—“

“Hey,” Baji stood up, flawlessly and moved so he can be directly in front of you.

You were looking up at him as he did the following.

“I don’t think you’re lame, you���re pretty as fuck!”

Then he turned around, making you face his back.

“Now get up, pretty girl. We’re gonna go have lunch where I can really tell you what I meant by my texts,” He pulled out that little cute smirk of his, winked at you, then grabbed you by the wrist again, dragging you away from the bench.

“You heard me. Oh and I’ll make sure you never sit alone, ever again. From now on, I’m your best friend….and maybe your future boyfriend.” he muttered the last part to himself, overlooking the fact that you.

might or might’ve not heard him.

And oh boy, to say that you were on fire was an absolute understatement.

____________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

[mrdragonageherself]

...

So my sister posted a super sarcastic comment for attention out of the blue in the group chat for the family and my husband messaged asking was it sarcasm because if it wasn't it was fine but it seemed bitter and angry

And my sister went ooofffffff in the group chat and I had a feeling it was because of me because I had ignored 3 messages from her but yeah my husband was like hey maybe just communicate and don't make comments like this and then she tri3d to back track saying she didn't mean it to be angry she was just overwhelmed and he was like ok maybe communicate better.

So he left it at that but then she started messaging him and went ooffffff on him about how she didn't mean it badly she just felt like I'm mad at her and she was having a hard time and she wanted to know and he was like I don't speak for my wife speak to her if you think she has an issue don't make passive aggressive attention seeking comments and theeennnnnn she did what she always does which is say she's suicidal actually and that she's been pushing it all down to support me because I'm going through so much (all of this is bullshit she hasn't helped me or spoken to me about my problems because she always smothers me, makes everything about her, uses any weakness I show against me the second I d9nt give her what I want and when I put up a boundary, claim she's suicidal) and she's really not doing well.

When my husband was like sorry to hear thst in that case seek professional help but don't make passive aggressive comments and then even though she confirmed it was sarcasm she claimed it wasn't and everything is hard over text because you can take things wrong, and when he was like but yoy literally confirmed it was sarcasm you just don't like the consequences she got mad and said he was treating her like a child. She sent over 40 messages including novel like paragraphs and every time my husband kept bringing it back to the point she kept claiming she is just suicidal and needs help and it's because I'm not talking to her enough and she's supporting me so hard. My husband sent like 7 messages. She deleted 6 messages before he could read them, probably because she was finally mad he wasn't letting her off without apologising and taking the suicide bait and finally stopped replying.

I'm so stressed for the fall out, somehow it was all because of me even though I didn't say or do anything, my little sister even said why don't you tell her you just need space and I said she would do exactly this if I did and she still did it anyway just to my husband and it was so weird because it was clear she meant the messages for me (my husband kept having to remind her, he isnt me and isnt speaking for me) and was expecting my empathy and placating, which my husband was not giving.

I'm just sick of her always claiming to be supporting me through everything when she never does, and is often my biggest bully. she's really emotionally incestuous with me and blows up if I put up boundaries and then claims she's suicidal and doesn't take any accountability and when you finally calmed her down she won't ever acknowledge her own behaviour was inappropriate. I just hate that she is always dragging others into it as well, this is her first time doing it with my husband but normally it's because I beg him not to engage but he was too mad this time because of how distressed it makes me and my little siblings don't get it because they don't know how bad her temper and viciousness can be because of all the work my mom and I have put in to get her to stop (shes a lot older than them and they werent alive/dont have working memory from then). She used to tell my other older sister with cancer she was glad her friends from the cancer ward died and she hoped my sister would die too and laugh at her when she was in pain from bone marrow transplants and steal all my pocket money and break and steal my stuff, destroy art projects I was really proud of and mock me to my friends and she would do or say anything to hurt you as deeply as possible just because you slightly annoyed her and she always repaints herself as the victim from back then simply because our dad was abusive but she was always abusive to everyone too and it didn't stop because he was forced to leave she just needed the help from me and my mom and we wouldn't put up with it or let her treat my nephew that way so she's learned to seem sweeter but I can't set any boundaries with her without her telling me she's going to kill herself and its my fault and actually what she said or did wasnt bad becasue shes just misunderstood and im taking her wrong. Ugh.

She's 35 by the way.