#THAT SHIT WAS SO FUNNY IM NOT EVEN GONNA LIE LMAOOOOOOOO

[kuratm]

i need to tell you all that after i beat the ice titan in book 6, i screamed FUCKING FINALLY so loudly that my dad called out from the other room like 'did you have to say fuck'? NOT EVEN GONNA ASK ME WHAT GARNERED THAT REACTION NOR ANYTHING...nah, just straight up 'stop swearing, girl, i s2g'

[starsinthesky5]

OKAY HERE FOR MY SHORT AND SWEET THOUGHTS.

overall: … this album. this fucking album. ONE OF A FUCKING KIND. idk what the fuck she put in this album, but IT IS A LITERAL DRUG. sabrinia carpenter, the WOMAN YOU ARE. THIS IS AN INSTANT CLASSIC.

okay now here’s my favorites ranked with thoughts from while i listening to them for the first time:

1. good graces - MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR. THIS IS GONNA BE ON REPEAT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. “with your favorite athlete” IS SO FUNNY LMAOOOOOOOO.

2. bed chem - OH MY GOD. THIS SONG IS UNREAL. i’m gonna need 3-7 business days to process just THIS SONG.

3. juno - real. me when i see joe fucking burrow. okay but seriously this is the cutest and smuttiest little song i love it 🤭

4. sharpest tool - HEL-FUCKING-LO??? too good. TOO GOOD. TOO FUCKING GOOD. IM NOT OKAY. IM NOT OKAY. “if that was casual then im at idiot” REAL. TOO FUCKING REAL.

5. dumb and poetic - SOBBING. SOBBING. TEARS. SHE JUST KEPT GOING. “JUST CAUSE YOU ACT LIKE ONE DOESNT MAKE YOU A MAN??” GAGGED.

6. lie to girls - SABRINIA IM CRYING GIRL. IM NOT OKAY.

7. coincidence - DRAG HIM. DRAG HIM. “YOUR CAR DROVE ITSELF FROM LA TO HER THIGHS.” HOLY SHIT?? OMG??? GAGGED.

8. don’t smile - REAL. ALL A MAN FUCKING DO IS LIE. even though this song is literally so sad, i literally wanna shake my ASS to this song.

9. please please please - song of the summer for a reason. also i hope that the rumors they broke up aren’t true ☹️

10. taste - GAGGED. CERTIFIED BOP. THE MUSIC VIDEO???

11. espresso - MHM. MHM. a classic. it should be ILLEGAL for how catchy this song is.

12. slim pickings - “SINCE THE LORD FORGOT MY GAY AWAKENING” LMAOOOOO. one thought: 🤠

brb. listening to this masterpiece again.

we are the same person bc YAS.

- with your favorite athlete KILLED ME

- juno: this is the joe song.

- JACK ANTONOFF COOKED WITH SHARPEST TOOL. LIKE YES JACK GO OFF WITH THAT PRODUCTION.

- don’t smile fr makes me want to shake ass idc

[drarry-with-a-side-of-harry]

THAT WAS ONE OF THE GAYEST EPISODES IN A HOT MINUTE LMAOOOO WTF

so i’ve just watched series 4 episode 10 ‘A Herald of the New Age’ uhhhhhh

wait wait wait so gwen’s gone for two (2) seconds and Arthur and Merlin are flirting like they’re in a school playground all over again lmaoooo i’m so done

so first of all they get back to Camelot and Merlin’s falls back into his concerned boyfriend routine 🥺🥺🥺🥺 SIDE NOTE THE KNIGHTS ARE JUST FULLY AWARE OF THESE TWO AT THIS POINT THEY ALWAYS FLIRT AND ARE REALLY TENDER IN FRONT OF THEM I CANNOT BE ARSED anyway Merlin asks Arthur if he’s alright and Arthur’s all sad and brooding 🥺🥺🥺 so Merlin says he was being quiet and Arthur just answers him with a snide remark but with none of the laughter and ARTHUR, KING, SWEETIE WHY WON’T YOU JUST LET THIS BOY HELP YOU???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

SO THEN WE SKIP AHEAD A BIT AND OMFG LET ME TELL YOU I WAS CACKLING WITH LAUGHTER AND KEPT HAVING TO PAUSE IT. THIS SHIT IS GOLDEN

so Merlin walks in on Arthur asleep at his desk. if you’ve watched the show you will remember this scene because it’s too iconic but am i gonna run through it anyway?? you’re damn right i am because i am obsessed lmaoooooo

SO MERLIN JUST STRAIGHT UP BANGS ON THE DESK REALLY FUCKING LOUDLY TO GET HIM TO WAKE UP HAHAHAHAHHAA AND ARTHUR HAS FOOD ALL OVER HIS FACE I-

who fucking wrote this shit it’s too good man

Arthur jumps out of his mind and Merlin the little shit has the audacity to say “oh i’m sorry i didn’t mean to scare you” HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ABSOLUTE DICKHEAD MERLIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and he barely even cracks a smile how this man holds it together i will never know. honestly how Colin Morgan managed to deliver that just once without cracking up is beyond me.

OH BUT WE’RE FAR FROM FINISHED

so Arthur responds “you didn’t scare me, i was asleep” LMAOOOOO YEAH BITCH WE KNOW HAHAHAHAHAHA IM STILL SCREAMING ABOUT THIS

so now Merlin starts to laugh a bit but he’s holding it together. you know when you’re in school and something funny happens with your mates and you shouldn’t laugh because you’re meant to be working but you can’t not laugh and you’re all just snorting to stop yourselves from laughing??? yeah same energy

Arthur: “why’ve you got that stupid smile on your face?” baby i don’t know what to tell you anymore

Merlin: “it’s nothing. why were you sleeping with your head on the table?” and his face just drops to confusion HOW DOES HE NOT KEEP LAUGHING

Arthur: “i fell asleep while i was reading” uh huh okay sure thing

Merlin: “what were you reading?” this is turning into the most mundane conversation you’ve ever heard but it’s priceless because Arthur’s still half asleep and Merlin’s just fucking with him i’m so done

Arthur looks around trying think of something and realises be can’t lie anymore so this bitch just has to say “i am the King of Camelot i do not have to answer to the likes of you” LMAOOOOOOOO KING JUST ADMIT YOURE AN IDIOT AND LEAVE and Arthur’s almost cracking a smile at this point too we get it you love him

Merlin: “oh you’re in a good mood, you obviously got out of the wrong side of the table” AND THIS MAN JUST STARTS PISSING HIMSELF AT HIS OWN JOKE I-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AND ARTHUR’S DEADPAN STARE IS PRICELESS

and Merlin explains the joke while he’s still laughing and Arthur replies “that’s extremely clever and funny Merlin there really are no limits to your wit now will you please just get me some breakfast” HAHAHAHAHHAA MATE WHEN I SAY IM HOWLING WRITING THIS POST

‘there really are no limits to your wit’ sent me

so Merlin goes to get breakfast and Arthur (who has loads of food on his face remember) uses the plate as a mirror OH BOY

THIS SCENE COULD NOT BE ANY FUNNIER I SWEAR

he lowers the plate with another deadpan stare aimed at the door. boy is FUMING LMAOOOOOOOO

he shouts Merlin and i will suck my own big toe if there is anyone in the castle Camelot that didn’t hear him MY GOD THAT WAS PRICELESS

me current state: deceased

OH AND IT DOESN’T STOP THERE OH NO NO NO

so the very next scene we’re at training Arthur tells the lads to pair up and Gwaine asks what’s in his hair. Arthur’s face is just a picture. Merlin helpfully answers that it’s stew. Leon asks him why he’s got stew in his hair. Merlin quickly responds “because he was reading” in that tone when Merlin’s being a right snarky little shit oh you know

the lads just turn to look at Arthur like “wtf man??”

Arthur takes a minute and says “change of plan. i think we’ll try something different” lmaoooo you just know what’s coming next

so Merlin’s used for sword practise

Arthur has first go and the lads are smirking at them and each other like “oh these two had another domestic” “about the stew this time ahhh right” lmaooooo

JUST GOLD

there was a whole two (2) minutes of just solid flirting, taking the piss and just generally annoying the shit out of each other i-

OH AND THERE’S MORE

it’s nighttime now and this cheeky bastard asks “would you like me to make up the bed Sire, or will you be sleeping on the table again?” with a little smile on his face HAHAHAHAHAHAHA it just keeps getting better this episode really is a gift

Arthur doesn’t respond because he’s all moody again and Merlin all but roles his eyes all he wants to do is cheer up his boyfriend 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 so he sighs “is this about Gwen” and Merlin looks kinda irritated and sad and Arthur won’t even look at him and Merlin says “we all miss her. you more than anyone” and Arthur cuts him off with “you can go now” maaaaate the feels

Merlin: “Arthur”

Arthur: “get out” oh so now you look at him

omfg you were happy earlier can you please just let him help you ffs you’re just making each other really fucking sad and it’s not helping anything

and Merlin leaves and Arthur kind of looks over his shoulder and almost shakes his head like he doesn’t actually want him to go 🥺🥺 and every damn time something like this happens i expect him to say “no, wait” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

and now Arthur looks even more sad. well baby i don’t know what to tell you but you did just do that to yourself a little bit. just leT MERLIN HELP YOU ffs

SO Merlin storms in and dad Gaius is at the table reading and Merlin’s just ranting that he’s done being nice to Arthur and he doesn’t get any thanks and he’s saved his life so many times and all he ever does is shout at him. yeah boy we know aND SO DOES GAIUS because this man does not look up at him!!!!!! tell me that’s not Merlin ranting to his dad about his crush i swear-

Gaius tells him there’s more important things to worry about like the plot of this episode perhaps??? lmaoooo this is getting out of hand now. dad’s so done with Merlin’s lovesick bullshit lmaoo

so we move on a bit and Arthur tells his uncle that Merlin thinks Elyan’s possessed oh so now dad’s dead you value Merlin’s counsel huh king?? we love to see it

we love that Merlin can speak up a bit more now ehehehe

so uncle says that Merlin’s just tryna protect his friend and Arthur just looks at Merlin like “i believe you don’t worry but we need evidence man”

oh my christ we’re only half way through true episode i’ll try and speed things up a bit i think the main Merthur action’s done anyway

Merlin breaks Elyan out. arrives back at Camelot and walks into the throne room. Arthur’s drinking and reading something and just looks up when Merlin enters with the most glorious look on his face like “oh this bitch is back finally” and carefully considers what he’s gonna say to him 😂😂😭😭😭

Arthur: “Merlin! good of you to join me. perhaps i should fill you in on all that’s been happening while you’ve been... that’s a good question. what the hell have you been doing??” LMAOOOOO these two i can’t

Merlin: “i was...”

Arthur (cutting him off): “choose your next words carefully. they may be you last” pahahahahahaha alright king pipe down

Merlin: “i was searching.. in the woods.... for some herbs for Gaius” boy’s just rambling about herbs and says he got lost

Arthur: “you mean to tell me that you’ve been wandering around in the woods all night???”

and the look on this man’s face. WONDERFUL

Merlin says yes and Arthur asks what happened to his head because it’s bruised and i just knew it was coming ffs “i tripped over a root and hit my head on a tree and knocked myself out” this fucking moron. this fool i despair

Arthur just toys with him and offers him some food with him at the table is it a joke though Arthur if you actually just want to have a lunch date with him and Merlin realises he’s joking and we get another golden deadpan stare from Arthur and it’s the funniest shit damn this episode is blessed and Arthur just stares him down as he fucks off out of the room lmaooooooo 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and then to finish it off dramatically picks up his paper again so we all know he’s back to ‘important reading’ uh huh Arthur sure you’re not just thinking about that interaction?? like the rest of us clowns

fast forward and Arthur let’s Elyan go and somehow Merlin’s there again???

anyway Arthur talks to his uncle and when he’s gone Arthur confides in Merlin and Gaius i’m sorry but we have to stan some A+ development (also i really hope Arthur’s starting to lose trust in his uncle because i was sort of getting that vibe from this scene idk we can only hope)

Merlin’s in Arthur’s chambers that night clearing up and Arthur says “that’ll be all Merlin” anD MERLIN REPLIES “are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” UMMMMMMM FOR WHAT????? I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT ARTHUR WAS GOING TO SLEEP UHHHHHHHHHHHHH IDK MAN SEEMS KINDA SUS TO ME WHAT’RE YOU GONNA DO MERLIN JUST SLEEP IN HIS BED WITH HIM??? HMMMMMMMMM THE PLOT MAJORLY THICKENS BECAUSE ARTHUR DOESN’T EVEN FIND THIS AN ODD SUGGESTION BECAUSE HIS RESPONSE IS JUST “think i’m gonna get an early night” OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL THAT IMPLIES THAT HIM AND MERLIN WOULD BE- *BIG COUGH COUGH*

AND SECONDLY THAT IMPLIES THAT THIS IS SOMETHING THEY’VE DONE BEFORE I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION THE EVIDENCE SEEMS PRETTY CONCLUSIVE TO ME YOUR HONOUR

then they have a nice little joke about Merlin not getting an early night lmaooo we do love to see the bants

so later on Merlin follows Arthur into the woods lmao of course he does would you really expect anything less at this point?? and they have this whole why are you here?! no why are you here?! moment lmao

Arthur tells him he’s free to go back to Camelot at any time sweetie you really think that’s gonna happen?? you fool Arthur Pendrgaaon because obviously Merlin’s not going anywhere AND THEN ARTHUR’S BACK TO BEING A SELF SACRIFICIAL LITTLE SHIT AGAIN BABY YOU’RE KING NOW YOU CAN’T BE SO WILLING TO DIE AT EVERY FUCKING PROBLEM WTF we find out that this whole thing’s Arthur’s fault but this whole scene is honestly so nice and lovely and warm and he knows what he did was wrong and that he was a stupid young man 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and the druid boy forgives him 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he’s CRYING omg recently Merlin’s constantly on the verge of tears but when Arthur cries you know some bad shit’s going down and the music omgggg 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 “from this day forth the druid people will be treated with the respect they deserve, i give you my word” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i love him your honour

so then we’re back in Arthur’s chambers and Merlin says “you know that was incredibly moving what you said at the shrine” Arthur says “it served it’s purpose” because Elyan’s alright ARTHUR STOP PRETENDING YOU DON’T CARE TO LOOK COOL FOR YOU BOYFRIEND MERLIN KNOWS YOU’RE 10X THE MAN YOUR FATHER EVER WAS

Merlin says “you meant it” and then Arthur gets a bit snappy because he’s embarrassed 🥺🥺🥺 and Merlin says “i don’t ever think i’ve seen you cry before. well not like that. you had tears running down your cheeks it’s nice to see this new sensitive emotional side to you, it suits you” doesn’t it just baby???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 then we get a classic shut up Merlin and this is the first time Arthur dares to look at him throughout this conversation 😭😭😭 and then Merlin mocks him *gasp* “i really thought you’d changed” lmaoooo “then you’re as stupid as you are ugly” lmaooooooo Arthur just tell him he’s pretty and leave

and just to finish things off

Arthur’s walking to the door

Merlin: “so there’s no chance that we could have a hug?” and he’s half 🥺 and half smiling/laughing ready to play it off

Arthur turns back to him and starts play running towards him and Merlin runs away and Arthur tackles him off screen aND YOU CANNOT TELL ME ARTHUR DID NOT GIVE THAT MAN THE BIGGEST HUG WHEN THEY WERE BOTH DOWN ON THE GROUND AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA THEH ARE SO PURE I LOVE IT 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 can you not just imagine these two giggling and chasing each other round the room i-

[tellywoodtrash]

shaadi mubarak 27 - 31.08.20

tried to make this short and sweet like i said i would, but my damn brain just won't fucking shut up while watching tellywood. toh yeh lo. almost poora lbs.

27.08.20

life mein kya chahiye, bas itna support aur laad jitna KT's whole family is barsaofying on this 40+ year old man.

oh and garmaaaaagarammmm moong dal kachoris.

oh ho his shaadi is seveeeeeeerely sore topic.

KT gaining lotsa SM clout with shayari he picked off the floor at some random shaadi he made a PR appearance at.

this man's whole life is a rampwalk, huh.

preeti talking about her DIY'd dresser is the most animated i've ever seen her.

lol preeti running to hide when she sees someone she knows will talk to her #relatable

awwww man preeti getting validationnnnnn about her poetry.

OMG I HATE THIS DUMBASS MUSKURANE KE LIYE ROKDA NAHI THOPDA LAGTA HAIIIIII LINE

"meriiiiiiiii sharmeeeli fannnn" haaaaye, cuteeee.

tarun and rati have made an appearance and thus is it time to fwd liberallllllly.

YESSSSSSSSSSSS IM HEREEEEE FOR PREETI TELLING TURN TO FUCKKKKKK RIGHT OFFFFFFFFF AND STAY IN HIS LIMITS

i hate rati too, but i hate her a little less than tarun.

YESSSSSSSSSSS KUSUMMMMMMMMMM IS HEREEEEEE.

lol her fangirling over KT's dimples is such a mood.

"nihaar hi toh rahi hoon, kaunsa ghar chod ke bhaag rahi hoon inke saath?" snort i honestly love her the mosttttttttt.

sumedhhhhhh is also cutest. good son, good husband.

"beendini, thari maa itni nazdeek reh-re, ki cheenkte wahaan hai, cheetein yahaan padti hain" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

kusummmmm is a hardassss but totallllly adorable mom. i'm so glad juhi and her get along.

ouff mother india and her tarun ki khushi. so wasted.

lol KT's khaaai ka depth is getting deeper with each retelling.

preeeeti, why so adorable.

"signal toh humara hamesha green hi rehta hai!" THIS INCORRIGIBLE MANNNNNNNNNNNN

oh man, every time iktara plays, my heart gets the feelz.

28.08.20

lmaooooooo kusum is coming at the same time as KT.

WHY DOES THIS MAN TALK LIKE A WHATSAPP FORWARD FROM THE GERIATRICS IN THE FAMILY

lmaoooooooooo pooooor preeeti and the desperation on her face trying to get rid of himmmmm.

OMG THE STATUE MOMENTTTTTTT. MY HEART!!!!!!!

good lord he's literally such a maan na maan, main tera mehmaan.  

hahahahaha the kali mirch on his photo.

I AM LITERALLY PREEETI, HE TALKS TOOO FUCKING MUCH. BAS BHI KARO BHAISAAB. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR FITNESS REGIMEN HERE.

OHNOE KUSUM IS HEREEEEEEEEEE

fwding all this rati tarun chanda crap.

KT and his ainvayiiiiiiii ke assumptions.

gosh such bad green screening of kusum and the neighbourhood.

OH GOD THIS ROKDA THOPDA LINEEEEEEE

WILLLLLLLLL KUSUM AND KT MEEEEET?!?!?!!?

phew.

ugh why does preeti have to touch her feeeeeeet every timeee?!?!?! it sucksssssss.

I LOVE KUSUM. SHE'S SO NO NONSENSE!!!!!!!! SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT THOSE FUCKHEADS HAVE PREETI HERE FOR.

die in a fire, tarun.

blah blah fwding all the chori waala drama.

29.08.20

i think i should just skip this whole ep.

ok just skimming.

juhi Knows. juhi is best beti.

ugh tarun i hate you so much.

this doesn't look like a luxury car to me? and it's def not an SUV.

ok blah blah fwding.

fully relate to KT's current breakdown. THE BIGGEST LIE IN THE WORLD IS THAT YOU STOP GETTING ACNE AFTER PUBERTY. FUCK ADULT ACNE, WHICH HAS BEEN CREATED BY THE DEVIL HIMSELF.

coffee aur honey nahi, tea tree ya neem lagao.

i hope this mom of KT's is gonna be nice to preeti.

blah blah blah fwding these assholes' drama.  

skimming, and honestly, the fact that rati looks more contrite than tarun!?!?!? i want to murder him so fucking bad, it's not even funny.

MAN WHERE CAN I GET A FAMILY THAT HYPES ME UP THE WAY KT'S DOES HIM?????? NO WONDER HIS CONFIDENCE IS AT 300% ALL THE TIME.

KT is so pure. sniff. please god star plus, you've ruined every single male lead over the last few years for me, please can i just have him?!?!?! PLEASE I'M FUCKING BEGGING OVER HERE.

oh no naach gaana, fwding.

what's the fucking deal with his marriage anyway?!?!?! biwi bhaag gayi ya.... MARR GAYI??!! like.... WHAT'S THE WHOLE MYSTERY?! I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY FOR A WHOLE OTHER RAIMA KINDA THING NOW. NOT IN THIS FUCKING YEAR OF 2020, WHERE EVERYTHING IS ALREADY TOO MUCH.

back to fucking tarun and his garbage. fwding.

thank goddddddd, juhi's here. she's a personification of "kaleje ki thandak".

btw, what's juhi's profession?

juhi is purestttttttttt. human sunshine! (quite literally, in this outfittttt.)

oh ho, ainvayi ka dupatta misunderstanding.

LMAOOOOOOOO THIS FUCKING OVERDRAMATIC FUCKER.

yeh lo ji, pehlaaaaa lift bhi ho gaya show ka.

31.08.20

the subtitle people need to decide the spelling of preeti's name once and for all. all of last ep it was "priti".

ugh tarun and rati are back.

lol kusum grumbling about juhi being a working woman.

what's up with priyanka? why's she forever grumpy?

lmao kusum is literally every desi mom - LAD MARO SAAARE!!!!! (helpfully providing the weapons also.)

thankfully sumedh is here to save the day.

arre waaaaah. gold frameeeee mein chadhwa diya bete ne photu ko.

wasn't KT in the center in the pic? why's kusum in the middle now?

sumedh foreshadowing the preeti/kusum brotp!

hahahahahahahaha kusum coveringgggg preeti up with the wall hanging.

ugh don't wanna watch this KT scene if it's with tarun/rati.

oh ho KT. such ainvayi ke assumptions.

oh boy, juhi has walked in hearing the suicide allegation.

god KT just leaveeeeee instead of stirring the pottttttt.

yessss, juhi is taking tarun's class.

YES ALL OF IT IS COMING OUT. TARUN KI KHAIR NAHI. JUHI GONNA STRAIGHT UP SHANK HIM IN THE FACE.

ok if juhi doesn't do it, i swear to god, imma ghusofy into the screen and do it. i don't think i've hated a character as much as i hate tarun.

beta ho toh sumedh jaisa ho, warna na ho.

TARUN FUCKING DESERVES TO BE THROWN INTO AN ACTIVE VOLCANO. MY GOD WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT.

god preeti, drop this fucking flop. he's a sunken cost.

YES PLEASE PREETI, FUCKING LEAVE.

sumedh has finally had enough. good. wish he'd headbutted tarun on the way out tho.

oh dang, juhi might still do it. she's the real warrior in that couple.

RATI KO AYAAH KI PADI HAI. SERIOUSLY.

kusum + sumedh had a wholeasssss conversation aankhon aankhon mein.

LMAO WHAT A WEIRD MOMENT TO FOCUS ON THAT PIC WITH KT IN THE BG.

ok aaj aur kal ka lb kal post karoongi (coz i don't want a whole new month's lb mixed up in the previous one's.) chalo byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.