#dont look too closely for mistakes or ill cry

[taohs]

...for everything.

[baby-prophet]

ahh I'm putting two and two together..... it's because working a double and I got way too high at work and it turns out all I ate was 2 chicken tenders, three mozzarella sticks and fries for lunch yesterday..... it all makes sense..

ugh I feel hungover

[taegularities]

i got into the biggest fight with my mom today and it was just filled with so much gaslighting on her end. she knows i cant go to sleep with a heavy heart (and she definitely takes advantage of it) but i called her and apologized for my tone of voice today (not for the content i fought about) and she immediately began gaslighting again. she literally claimed i must be "mentally struggling" since im causing conflict, rather than taking a step back and looking at how my emotions were being affected by her actions... idk i feel so disappointed and weak for apologizing/the day and argument in general. do you have any advice?

i dont want to get too heavily into the topics of the fight as ill start crying again, but it basically consisted of feeling like she doesnt like me/gives me the same love and attention she gives my older siblings (def a lot a pent up stuff from over the years) please feel free to ignore this ask if youre uncomfortable. i love you regardless.

hey, love <3 apologies for getting back to you so late. has she apologised by now, too? i'm sorry that you feel that way and that she makes you feel that way; it'd definitely be the right thing to acknowledge your feelings instead of shutting down your apology and increasing your discomfort. i think adults and parents often foster this deep-rooted belief that they're always right bc they're older or bc they're parents, yk? they don't realise that respect is earned, not required. i think what you could do is sit down with her in a moment where neither of you is heated or angry, and explain to her why her comments hurt the way they did, and that you're human too and allowed to be upset about such an issue. perhaps give her examples of when you felt neglected; in the end, she's human, too, so maybe she'll finally understand.

if communication doesn't bear fruits, then don't be too bummed out – one thing i've been saying to myself is that it's not our job to explain stuff to people. i know it's a close relationship and we want that attention and love, but if she can't listen to her own child, then maybe you shouldn't constantly have to explain yourself, either. either way, i think you aren't weak for saying sorry at all. like oh gosh, it takes so much strength to apologise, so be proud of yourself bc i am!! the weaker ones gaslight and the stronger ones reflect on their mistakes, no matter how small that mistake.

okay, i rambled once again, but i hope any of this helps <3 but whatever comes out of this, a lil presence here loves you at least :3 and i'm here for you if you need anything. 🤍

[megafaunatic]

idk if ur like open to randos in ur asks giving u media recommendations, but i would give anything in the world for u to try and give the k-novel 'return of the blossoming blade' by BIGA a chance... UR MY FAVE CONTENT CREATOR SINCE THE YE OLDEN TGCFMDZS DAYS SO I WANTED TO AT LEAST TRY LOLLL its like my favourite novel of all time and ive been trying to force it upon everyone with little avail, which i dont understand WHYY cuz its SOO GOOOD like it definitely deserves to have the same level of popularity w international fans as MDZS and TGCF had, but for now it remains a hidden gem.......... it's an insanely long novel i will nawt lie (1.5k+ chapters and updating everyday but only like 500smth have been tl'd into english on the fantl site Sky Demon Order[who also post semi-daily]) but its sosososo worth it i prommy..trust me..:smiles: it's a classic 'hero from the past who died a tragic and preventable(?) death reincarnates a hundred years into the future hiding his identity to teach the youth in order to keep the future generation from following in his footsteps and making the same mistakes he did' but without all the stale, predictable, boringness u'd typically expect from that specific genre... it's an incredibly comedic action novel that takes place in ancient china wuxia setting & focuses primarily on found family and those close familial bonds between the main cast behind all the sword fighty action (dont know how to fit this in anywhere else, but its important to me that u know the mc, chung myung, is the main casts grandpa.. hes their peepaw.. he shows affection by beating them on their heads). theres no romance at all, but i would argue that is a SELLING POINT for this novel like i swear it is so refreshing, the found family of it all means soo much to me, so much so i am now going to force it to mean so much to you too(this is a threat).... if u do gaf abt ships tho then maybe the doomed, tragic, best-friends-to-almost lovers tangchung yaoi and the love at first sight iseolsoso yuri might catch ur eye *LOOKS AT YOU* i genuinely really really feel like it would be straight up ur alley, like its definitely smth i feel would at least peak ur interest imo (chung myung, the mc, is probably my fave mc of all time..at eighty two years young, he IS the next peoples princess and i want to hit him with my car and then nurse him back to health just to hit him again.. i feel like u'd enjoy him like that as well).. im so desperate for more eng fans of this novel u cant see me rn but i am biting into a leather belt trying not to sob and cry out loud as im typing this this is so long im so embarrawsed so ill leave u here.. i hope my pleas have touched ur heart in some way and if the novel chapter count is too intimidating, ROTBB also has a webcomic on webtoons by the same name (season two of the webcomic just started ^__^ ) and the art is so good and funny and its a good way to get into the novel without being overwhelmed by the chp count methinks BUT i would definitely consider reading the novel mandatory cuz the webcomic only fills u in on so much.... ok. i hope u managed to get thru this insane wall of text, my bad.. until we meet again...*salutes* *revs up my motorcycle and disappears behind a cloud of smoke but when the dust settles i am laying dead on the floor*

ok so first of all i respect this so much 🫡 thank you for spreading your passion in the final moments before your motorcycle dirt death 🫡🫡🫡

second of all this does sound really fun !!! i have found it on sky demon order and i'll give it a try... BUT i gotta be real over a thousand chapters and only two hundred of them translated AND no romance is unfortunately killing me... i just dont know if i have the stamina for that... im a horrible little fujo if its THAT long theres gotta be some kissing!!!!! sorry 😭😭

for u i will give it a try but i can make no promises 🫡 i will consider chung myung my blorbo in law tho

[perpetually-sad-but-its-fine]

chicago pd 10x11

GUYS

IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE

I WANNA LEARN MORE ABOUT KEVIN

WE GET TO MEET HIS DADDDD

ahhhh

im so nervous

oh yippee

it start w/ a funeral

im already invested

‘its all politics kev’

‘okay, i hear you over there being a cynic’

but is she wrong kev?

is she wrong?

no

she's not

oh no

NO

COME ON

KIM

THEY CANT LEAVE HER ALONE

and oh my god

chicago pd writers not ignoring the trauma that kim went through????

*gasp*

that's a first

‘its just too much caffeine’

‘mhm’

kev not buying her bullshit

i miss my patrol buddies

back when they were so innocent

‘i raise you, its a little bit of both’

‘mhm’

best buddies

ahhhhhh

KEV AND KIM GETTING TOGETHER AND SHARING THEIR FAMILY

I LOVE ITTTT

I WANNA SEE IT SO BADLY

ohhhh

this is his father isn’t it????

ITS HIS FATHER

OH MY GOD

I KNEW ITTTTT

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

aw no

im not prepared for this

aw kim looking out for kev and kev looking out for him

i love it so much

oh my god what the fuck

THAT CAR CAME OUT OF NO WHERE

OF COURSE IT STARTS SHOOTING

OF COURSE

my god

bro

come on

kev’s vest isn't even on properly

I DONT WANNA THEM TO GET HURT CUZ THEY DIDNT PUT ON THEIR VESTS PROPERLY

kev looking for his dad

im not prepared for this angst

please tell me he doesn't do something stupid and delete the photo

kev is a good cop

oh noooo

hes close to crying

noooooooo

my baby

my poor baby

‘for good behavior’

im excited to find out why that's such a surprise

kev doing his job like a good cop

we love to see it

oh no kev

what're you gonna do now???

IS HE GONNA TELL VOIGHT

ohhhh that poor boy

this poor child

i feel so bad for this kid

oh kim letting kev take the lead

we love to see it

KEVINS SO SWEET

hes so understanding

and i love him

so so so so so much

hes amazing

chicago pd please give kevin a good storyline

please give him a love interest that deserves him

please let him be happy

please

oh this big guy is gonna be kevin’s father i can feel it

oh nvm

torresssss

my bby

adammmmmm

my loveeeeeee

haILEY

SHES SO PRETTYYYYYYYY

im not okay

im not

BURZEK

my babies

please let them be okay this season

ohhhhh

this is gonna be an interesting conversation

kevin and adam and kim are besties

and i want them to spend more time together

‘i'll let you know, promise’

‘oookay?’

he says very confusedly but lets her go anyway

kim looKS SO FUCKIN GOOD

oh we love to see the patrol babies looking out for each other

voight and atwater

the father-son duo that we love

see, this is why i love kevin

hes a sweetheart who's doing his best

he recognizes when to lie and when to tell the truth

he knows the value of his job and doesn't want to unnecessarily endanger that just bcuz he doesn't like the truth of whatever’s happening

he has strict morals that he follows and he acknowledges that he makes mistakes and knows that he can improve

he also

doeSNT FUCKIN KEEP SECRETS FROM VOIGHT

FUCKIN EVERYBODY ELSE

FROM ANTONIO TO JAY TO HAILEY TO KIM TO VANESSA TO ADAM TO ERIN TO AL

E V E R Y O N E

HAS KEPT SOMETHING FROM VOIGHT

EVEN TORRES HAS

THE WHOLE THING WITH DETECTIVE DICK LAST EPISODE????

YEAH HE KEPT THAT FROM VOIGHT

KEVIN IS THE ONLY ONE

WHO

HASNT

LIED

TO

VOIGHT

he deserves so much better

and ik for a FACT

that chicago pd writers are going to ruin his character

i fuckin know it

okay

back to me being dramatic about the show

now

voight is asking questions about kevin’s father and im interested

poor kevin

he deserves so much better

voight looking out for him is so sweet

‘ill tell ‘em’

is amazing

bcuz the team is his family

the family that he deserves

and the family that loves him

god im so nervous for this part

oH MY GOD

THEY HAVENT SAID ANYTHING

BUT IM ALREADY CRYING

ohhhhhh

im so scared for how this is gonna go

this conversation is unsettling to me

‘i know that's not the truth’

come on man

tell himmm

TELL HIM THE TRUTH

poor kevin

they keep hurting him

and me

i can't

kevin can never get a break can he?

thank you kevin’s father

oH SO NOW YOU WANNA ASK ABOUT JORDAN AND VANESSA???

NOW YOU WANNA ASK

oh mY GOD

laroyce hawkins is an amazing actor

that break in his voice kills me

oooo

this'll be fun

ITS ONLY FIFTEEN MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE AND SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED

oH MY GOD

THATS SO FUCKIN VIOLENT

HOLY SHIT

oh nooooo

thERES A BABY

THAT POOR CHILD

AWWWWW

I WANNA CRY WITH THIS KID

THIS POOR POOR BABY

aw kevin covering the child of this baby

im soft

'emphatic no’

we love to hear it

kevin

my poor sweet child

kim doing her best to distract kevin and then giving up and just straight up asked him

we love it

i wanna see kim and kev and adam go out for drinks and talk about the terrible shit that's gone on in their lives and i want kevin to be okay

i need it actually

god

im dying here

chicago pd writers need to stop hurting me

seriously

im too sensitive for this

oh no

his dad’s here isn't he

oh fuck you kevin’s dad

fuck you

how dare you

kevin still doing his job

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

kevinnnnnnn

im so sorry my love

kevin my dearest child

i must hold and comfort

i must

goddamnit kevin’s dad

you better be telling the truth

why do i feel like hes hiding something

GODDAMMIT KEVIN’S DAD

YOU WERENT EVEN THERE FOR MAJORITY OF HIS LIFE

YOU DID SOMETHING STUPID

AND THEN HIS MOM DIED

AND HE HAD TO RAISE VANESSA AND JORDAN

AND YOU WANNA PLAY THE GUILT CARD????

NAH MAN 

YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF

‘do i look angry right now? i don't got time for that.’

mY POOR CHILD

stop this hurt

stop it

hes juST

nO

I HATE THIS

SO MUCH

poOR KEVIN

adam and kevin

my loves

they are brothers

kevin

please

for the love of god

TALK TO ADAM

kev

the fuck are you doing

kevin

please

ik hes doing his job

but like

I DONT WANT HIM TO GET HURT

voight looking out for kev

again

I love it

THE USAGE OF HIS FIRST NAME

GODDAMMIT

torres

my boy

kev and dante

i love it

dante reassuring kevins father

idk how to feel about that

TORRES IS STEPPING UP

MY BOY

this meet is scaring me

oh wait

kevin’s father is telling the truth

oh my god

he was telling the truth

waIT

HOLD ON

OH MY GOD

SO HE WAS A GOOD FATHER??????

this meet isn't gonna end well

danteeee

ma boi

i love you

god 

i love him so much

hes great

ilovehim

now i feel bad for kevin’s father

im not okay

aw my poor kevin

my poor child

my poor poor child

‘hm’

‘hm’

we love the communication guys

adam and kim

looking out for their brother

i want a heart to heart with them

but i also don't trust kevin’s dad

im conflicted

WHY WONT THEY MAKE KEVIN HAPPY

WHY

oh comE ON

thEY WERE STARTING TO TALK IT OUT

GODDAMMIT

STOP

I DONT LIKE THIS

*gasp*

waIT

IS KEVIN’S DAD GONNA DIE?????

I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE

I DONT LIKE HIME

BUT I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE

i dont like how this is playing out

kevin’s dad, tf are you doing man

torres

be smart

oh good god

im too scared to watch this

‘i get the whole story playboy’

bitch i will smack you

upton and ruzek in sync

thEY BOTH GOT OFF THE BENCH AT THE SAME TIME AND IN THE SAME WAY

I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THAT

bruh what is this nonsense

whats happening

im noT READY

god

kevin’s dad is gonna die

i can feel it in my bones

they won't let kev be happy

they never will

goDDAMMIT

IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

thiS IS SO INTENSE

AUGEVPIWE

IM NOT READY

trudyyyyy

my mother who raised me

i need more of her

ooooooo

ITS SO INTERESTING

come on

please don't kill kevin’s father

kevin

please tell me that youre thinking clearly

kim’s face just reads ‘somebody fucked with my best friend and they’re gonna die today’

and we love her for it

where the hell is kevin’s father

where is he

whERE

W H E R E

oh thank god

hes there

hes not dead (yet)

can't wait to see how this goes

‘i aint never seen him before in my life’

adorable

so believable

kevin’s dad

please

be reasonable

god

i can't handle this angst

I cannot

im not strong enough

nowhere near strong enough

god

please

this is K I L L I N G  M E

kevin

please

im crying

im sobbing actually

my poor child

finally admitting his feelings

my poor baby

please

solve this

its too much

kevin’s dad please

im begging you

OH MY GOD

STOP IT

HIS VOICE IS CRACKING

AND IM BREAKING

I NEED HIM TO BE OKAY

oh shit

this is

stop

stop

stop

stop

stop

stop

stop

no

no

no

no

no

no

no

no

no

no

COME ON

THIS IS SO MUCH HURT

THE LOOK IN KEVINS EYES

THERE ARE TEARS

AND IM FULLY SOBBING

OH MY GOD

COM E O N

his voice

stOP

PLEASE

thiS IS NO LONGER A JOKE

IM FUCKIN SOBBING

PLEASE JUST GIVE KEVIN A LOVING FATHER

HE DESERVES IT

LAROYCE HAWKINS IS AN AMAZING FUCKIN ACTOR

AND HIS PERFORMANCE IS MAKING ME CRY

P L E A S E

SIR

kevin’s dad im so sorry i ever doubted you

please hug

please

cOME ON

NO

‘it was too late, son’

im numb

i. feel. nothing. 

THEY DIDNT EVEN HUG

GODDAMMIT

stop

PLEASE

THIS POOR CHILD

THIS POOR MAN

HE WAS FORCED TO GROW UP TO RAISE HIS SIBILINGS

AND HE LOST HIS FATHER

AND HIS MOTHER

AND HE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING

AND HES STILL NOT HAPPY?????

CHICAGO PD WRITERS

DO YOU ENJOY MY PAIN??????

ITS NOT FUCKIN FUNNY MAN

[fallen-soul-starz]

i feel like i need to scream but i cant without changing how my mom sees me. she wouldnt actually care, she'd only tel you to stfu, you know that, you know that i guess i want that but idk, id make her feel like shit, she already has a lot going on. i hate being like i am, because these people i love and care about their voices are in my head repeating things theyd relistically say if i fucked up badly knowing how theyd react you know those voices are right, get a grip astrid im so enraged for no reason at all theres a reason theres a reason theres a reason, stop lying to yourself i want these people to care so much but why would they? bout tired of lying to themselves i guess. theyll talk to each other endlessly but when it comes to me, no, no no nononon ono no no non noo. im too messed up for that. im not worth it. they know getting close to me is a mistake. im a mistake. i want them to admit that those voices arent true but i doubt theyd even bat an eye towards it. if i get too close to someone, ill mess up, ill fuck smth up for them, theyll feel worse. im sick. and so fucking tired. i want to talk to lilac, just, something mentally is barricading me from talking to him and i hate it so much, because he means so much to me, hes the only one that seems to care. it hurts watching his messages go by and mentally it wont let me talk to him, like i enter into the text box and my brain becomes foggy and overwhelmed. theres something wrong with me. and with lavender, i want her to care too, even though theres no hope in it now, they treat me like im their past, oh well you deserve it and you know that, thats the deal with everyone. sunflower and black bat flower talk to me i guess, rather talk to each other though, i trust them so much and promise they care but im starting to think theyre lying, sunflower hasnt talked to me much anymore, guess i did smth to be less again. always tend to fuck it up. oh well. thats all you know how to do. stfu. they are liars. liars

my brain is looking for this person that'll care that isnt there, and even if they're there, my brain wont let me talk to them. i hate myself so much. i need to change. or die. thatll fix things. whats wrong with me? instead you sit here crying because youre delusional and your "friends" dont actually care enough about you, youre too much and youre going to jinx it soon enough, just kill yourself already, now wont you???

[vermil1ion-sky]

this got me tweaking... sweating... hope you dont mind me expanding on your idea i just have to ramble a little

-

jing yuan, like the post said, listens quietly to all your screaming and fussing with his usual carefree smile that makes you even more frustrated.

he's patient, endlessly for you specifically but it has its limits too.

only when you're done screaming and you're crying silently, trying to hide your face and wipe your tears with the sleeves of your jacket, he speaks. quiet, like hes trying to soothe an injured animal.

"did you get it all out, little sparrow?" his hand is gentle on top of your head, an affectionate and soft gesture that normally makes your heart flutter. now, however, it only makes everything in your head feel worse.

without thinking, you swat his hand away with more force than you intended to. it doesn't hurt him, and he doesn't look bothered in the slightest. the same easygoing smile now has a slight tilt of something you can't quite put your finger on. all you know is that whatever that is, it makes a shiver run down your spine.

you turn to walk away, huffing for him to leave you alone, to not bother you, wanting to hide that knot forming in your stomach. maybe you can sulk in your room until you've calmed down, head hanging low and an overly-rehearsed apology at the tip of your tongue when you next meet him. he'll smile that stupidly handsome smile of his as he accepts your apology and the day carries on like normal.

only when you feel his hand on your head do you realize you're not about to get out of this unscathed.

the same hand that pet your hair so tenderly earlier now grasps your locks near the scalp, pulling you back as you gasp in surprise so youre pressed against his chest. his grip is tight and it stings; it gets tighter when you try to wiggle out of his hold, whimpering quietly as tears threaten to spill again, for entirely different reasons than before.

"now, now..." he leans down, whispering near your ear with an eerily calm tone. the feeling of his lips and warm breath on your skin makes goosebumps rise all over your body and a shiver runs down your spine when you notice the way hes looking at you.

beautiful golden eyes that regard you often with love, now look serious, borderline ticked off. deep down you know he's not mad, not truly, never at you. never at his love.

it still doesnt ease the mild dread that spreads through your entire body.

"i-i didnt mean to-"

"oh but you did, my love. you get feisty and bite the hand that only wants the best for you..." from the corner of your eyes, you see the corner of his mouth raise in a small smirk. he knows hes in full control.

"... and this is the thanks i get? such an ungrateful," he punctuates the last word with another tug on your hair, making you whine and yelp. "... little thing you are"

"i-i-"

"hm?" he has a shit eating grin now, admiring how your eyes are starting to get that glassy look he knows entirely too well. he notices the way your chest heaves more with every breath, the flush in your cheeks as you look at him pleadingly. a beautiful sight. "what is it? has my sparrow lost all her earlier bite? so quickly?"

"i-im... sorry please..." your voice comes out weak and trembling but youre too busy trying not to have your body react to the heated surge running through your veins at the close proximity.

another tug, less harsh than before but hard enough that it makes a small tear trickle down your cheek. his lips kiss the spot on your skin where the tear falls, a soft gesture that makes your knees weak at the stark contrast.

"please what? use your words, pretty girl"

"please ill... ill be better... ill be good..."

"will you now?" he chuckles in your ear, pleased at your quick submission. even more pleased at you nodding your head tearfully.

"y-yes... yes... im sorry sir..." the last word slips out of your tongue by mistake but the way his grin gets infinitesimally wider makes you think he liked that. he releases your hair, not before rubbing your scalp in soothing circles.

"good girl..." he releases you, his usual carefree expression back on his face, the intensity no longer there. the smile on his face makes it seem like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. you hang your head low as you follow him quietly back to his office.

jing yuan doesn't really brat tame. he lets you get angry and hissy. you can put on any attitude, he's so unphased. unbothered! you can kick and scream and shout for attention until you tire yourself out. when you've finally ran yourself in circles, so frustrated that you're at the point of tears, jing yuan will tug your hair just right and with the kindest smile say, "now isn't this easier? why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

[spacexseven]

ok im finally here with the spy au stuff. sorry this took me so long i suddenly got Extremely Ill and couldnt really do much but im BACK baby.

im gonna do some more than i originally planned since i made u and the venerable budijojo wait so long so buckle up

AKUTAGAWA - ohhhh akutagawa… poor thing. this is about The Most devastating thing that could possibly happen to him. i could see him not realizing he loves darling in time just by virtue of arrogance, similar to fyodor. he doesnt think he’d ever deign to have something as silly as affection for someone like… you. preposterous. doesnt help that he has dazai’s voice in his ear at every second. but, well, here he is: stuck adoring somebody who hates him, and knowing it’s all his fault. although deep in despair, ever the devotee, he will gracefully take any punishment darling throws at him- granted they stay by his side. you might not think so, what with all the ‘stabbing you a hundred times with his jacket’ business he put you through, but you’re truly the safest by HIS side, you’ll see! no one can protect you as well as he can! you can spit at him, scream at him, hurt him, tell him all the ways you despise him; he’ll accept it all, but he won’t- *can’t* let go of you. he needs to keep you safe, it’s the only way he can make up for his sins.

DAZAI - oh christ. if you thought akutagawa had attachment issues get a load of this guy. i could see him REALLY shooting himself in the dick by also getting a bit of torture in before “killing” you- either cuz you suddenly started being cagey with information and he was approaching his deadline or just cuz he felt like it at the time. dazai is… very jarring. his emotional state is such that he feels this very suddenly and very violently, and his demeanor is very dependent on what he’s feeling. this is all to say that when you and dazai meet again, the version of dazai you knew- the manipulative nihilist who kissed your cheek within the same hour he broke all your fingers with a pair of pliers- is all but gone. he’s been replaced with some sopping wet cat of a man who looks honest-to-god shattered at your rejections. and he really IS like a pet cat who just realized hes in trouble, or maybe more of a stray who learned the hard way that people stop feeding you after you maul them. anything he can think of to get even a SECOND of your affection he’ll do, and i do mean anything. he’ll debase himself, scream, cry, beg, kill, anything he thinks will do the job. just please please please please PLEASE dont run away from him he loves you so much please stay he needs you please….

CHUUYA - i think hes the least likely to make this mistake just cuz he seems pretty self-possessed, but i could also see him getting very swept up in the little competition he made up in his head and not thinking his actions through very well. also DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL he’s gonna be the LAST guy to admit his feelings in this circumstance, just cuz admitting it would be much too painful so his brain just rejects it. i mean, the fella kicked you so hard into the wall it made a crater, he can STILL hear the echoes of your bones crunching in his head every time he closes his eyes, thats HARDLY the actions of a man in love. besides, even if you DID somehow survive that, youd never take him back (not that he wants that lol no way) so it’s not even worth thinking about. theres gonna be a lot of waking up from a drunken stupor only to find himself in your old apartment or surrounded by your possessions in a nest and some extremely pitying glances from kouyou before he lets himself accept what he feels and what he did. any peace he manages to make with this over time will immediately shatter what he hears that youve been spotted wandering around the city. our boy is going off the deep end instantly. 

FYODOR -it doesn’t really come as a shock that fyodor didn’t realize his feelings for you til pretty late in the game, given that he’s a black hole where emotions go to die. UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT i can very easily see fyodor feeling guilt over the whole Trying To Kill His Darling debacle, its just that he doesnt really have any kind of handle on this feeling at all. all he can process is that you’re scared of him/mad at him and this makes him feel this Mysterious Bad Feeling™ that he doesnt know what to do with. it occurs to him that he could very easily just make you compliant with him by fiddling with your brain like he did to ivan, but this makes the Bad Feeling worse. he doesnt want you to be a smiling puppet, he wants YOU, as strange as this desire is to him. all the little things used to do that had gotten on his nerves or perplexed him he now feels this alien yearning for. he feels this full body frost whenever he hears you crying through the door of your (cell) room, the distinct sensation of oncoming sickness. he finds himself very hesitant to put his hands on you, or even enter your line of sight out of fear of disturbing and upsetting you. odd. expect him to creepily watch you sleep a lot after he kidnaps you, enjoying seeing your face at peace for once. 

GOGOL - clown boy has established he feels guilt over things as much as the next guy, so ohhh BOY is he not gonna handle this too good. honestly, i could see his guilt overwhelming him to the point where he refuses to kidnap you or approach you again at all. he had his chance and made his choice, best to let his birdie be free now, yes? of course, he doesnt let you go TOTALLY. he has his eye on you as often as his schedule will allow. definitely dons disguise after disguise as an excuse to get close to you, maybe even makes up a persona that works at a shop you frequent so he gets to talk to you every day. eventually his mind might fray to the point where he cant STAND it anymore and NEEDS to get you back no matter what, especially if he insists on prolonged exposure to you, but hed probably try to avoid upsetting you as much as he can. youll give in eventually, hes going to be the only person youre ever going to be close to again, after all, so theres no need to force anything. he can convince you of his sincerity, hes sure of it.

also bonus i think this concept would also work really well with jouno what do you think. couldnt think of anything for kouyou sorry :/

- 🩹

thank you so much for all your effort behind this :> hope you're feeling better now!! i tried to write fyodor a little differently for you so. what do you think eheh :> the linked words take you to the original spy au posts for those characters! i considered writing for jouno but this post is way too long already for an ask lol

cw: yandere characters (akutagawa, dazai, chuuya, fyodor, nikolai), obsessive behavior, violence, forced relationships, stalking, manipulation, mentions of torture/interrogations, deceit, imprisonment (not proofread)

akutagawa is constantly tormented with his feelings for you. he knows he doesn't have the time to be in love, since he has more important things to do like make dazai recognize him, but he doesn't have a handle on himself. he can't put a lid on the wonderfully complex things he feels for you, and that's why it manifests the way it did. besides, he can't imagine actually tolerating, let alone liking, you, with all your kindness and concern that was long beaten out of him.

you've always been so kind to him, looking out for him, talking to him, treating him like anyone else. but all he could do in response was nod to your questions. akutagawa himself hasn't been shown a lot of affection so his way of showing his feelings is...awkward. he didn't know how to be friendly or be loved, but you didn't seem to care. and then when he finally, finally identified the cause of his palpitating heart and distracted mind, when he finally came to terms with what he felt, everything went wrong. you weren't supposed to find out, and you weren't supposed to get hurt. you weren't supposed to hate him, even if everyone else did.

he had been prepared to face the anger from his coworkers when they found out he fell for the enemy, but he wasn't planning on you finding out the way you did. and the look on your face, the hatred and the betrayal, it broke him. akutagawa, having lost everything already, grovels at your feet. he's desperate for another chance, but he doesn't dare complain, not when you ignore him and scorn him, not when you refuse to even acknowledge him.

he has hope, though, that one day you'd realize he only wanted to keep you safe. he only wants to show you that he's worth keeping around. you saved him before, and he only wanted to repay the favor forever. your organization was down and yokohama was far from safe, but with akutagawa by your side, nobody would dare touch a hair on your head.

dazai well, it's established he hates you from the moment he was assigned the spying mission. of course he hates you and the dates you planned out and the meals you make and the hand holding and the kissing and the...warmth he never gets elsewhere...and...the adoring way you look at him...and....and...

what was he thinking? you were just a target!

dazai has so many dilemmas during this mission because he's conflicted with hating you for being so damn annoying and feeling something because you're head over heels for an asshole like him, but let's say he pushes down the growing good he feels for you, shoves it away and sticks with hating you constantly for the purpose of this scenario. when the gig's up and you find out he was using you to get intel, there's no point in pretending anymore. no point in going along with your affectionate touches and asking about your day.

dazai has to rely on his usual, faithful method of getting intel—interrogation. he pretends like he doesn't care about hurting your feelings, pretends like it's just another job and it doesn't affect him if you're scared or crying. he doesn't care what you think of him now, of course not.

but right after it's all done, he's drowning in regret. he can't even remember what you told him, he just wants to take it all back. he scared you terribly, he knows he probably traumatized you and he can't undo it anymore. he tries, though, of course he does. at one point you were hopelessly infatuated with him despite how mean he was, so if he was the complete opposite now, you'd definitely look back at him, right? you'll be satisfied seeing him suffer for your sake, right? he'll happily beg for your forgiveness and debase himself if you'd feel even a little satisfied. if there's no way for you to forgive him, then he'll just have to go all out. he'll pull out all the stops and do everything in his power.

(i think dazai would definitely kick into the typical "i'll kill for you" yandere thing around here, hoping that by killing your enemies you'd appreciate him. he can't stand knowing other people were around you, people you had no reason to hate unlike him. what if you liked them instead? you liked dazai despite his shortcomings, so you could also fall for someone else that wasn't him. he couldn't have that)

chuuya (hehehe ive been waiting for this) feels the most guilt out of everyone in this list. i find it hard to imagine him actually hurting darling even if it's for the pm, like you said, he has the most self-control. in the original post of spy au! chuuya, he's completely obsessed with you and ends up scaring you off since you realize something's off, which leads to him finding your new place and what not. so i'll use the premise of him feeling guilty for scaring you and you kinda hating him for being a creep :>

he can't bring himself to hurt you, so knowing he's frightened you, knowing you hate him for what he believed was showing concern for you because he loved you, it shattered him. he didn't mean for you to think that he had it out for you or that he was going to kill you just because he worked for the enemy organization. he loved you and he only wanted you to be safe. he only wanted to get to know you so you'd love him back.

he allows himself to suffer, drinking a dangerous amount almost every night, staying in the apartment you used to instead of his own, looking at all the things he bought you and imagining you using them. it's pathetic to see how he's turned into a helpless, lovesick fool that can't even get you to look twice at him anymore. he tries to throw away the feelings he had, he avoids any mention of you and drowns himself in work and alcohol, but it's only a matter of time before the two of you cross paths again and he's unable to hold back from breaking down and begging you to take him back.

since i don't have a planned out story for fyodor in this spy au i'll make it up as i go. probably some info stealing for the doa, he can't exactly ask anyone else to go. bram is...in an awkward state, kamui is far too much of a public figure, sigma is too busy with the casino, and nikolai...there's no guarantee he won't just kill you, and fyodor can't have that, not after all his efforts to track you down and choose you for his mission. you should be honored, really, that he's giving you such an important role in his plans. maybe he could even convince you to join his side and completely sell out your organization.

everyone knows fyodor would be successful in his mission, and they know he'd get you wrapped around his finger very quickly. of course you don't think there's a single suspicious thing about this strange man who suddenly walked through the doors of your life and is somehow always around you and wow he's so nice and wow, isn't this moving too fast? but fyodor has that way of reassuring you with a smile and gentle strokes that there was nothing to worry about, and who were you to question him then?

you try to make him happy. he's always a bit emotionless, always a neutral expression on his face so you can't really tell if he's upset or happy when you greet him with a kiss. or is that surprise on his face? you don't know if he likes you holding his hand or if he wants to hear about your day, but one reassuring squeeze of the hand and an acknowledging hum sends you happily continuing your earlier actions. fyodor is a little surprised by your efforts to make him feel included. he's used to silence except for nikolai's random interruptions, but having you constantly by his side isn't the worst. compared to the miserable people in the world, you weren't nearly as unbearable for him.

fyodor is mostly surprised by how disappointed you look when it all blows over, and his identity is revealed. you're not disappointed at him, but at yourself for falling for a lie, and causing your coworkers deaths. he was too good to be true, you think, and you blame yourself for falling for his tricks. trust one charming stranger, and look where that got you? in some obscure prison cell and subjected to cruel questioning.

it's not very satisfying seeing you cry and rub at your red eyes. it's far from nice when you're ignoring him and boiling with resentment. and well, he shouldn't care. you had one purpose in his plan and it was now fulfilled. you should be happy you had a chance to help out in the making of fyodor's goals, but here you were sobbing so uncontrollably. he's a little uncomfortable seeing you look so devastated, and he's uneasy now that you don't tell him anything anymore. it's unfamiliarity that haunts him because you've changed, and not for the better. if he sees you opening up around sigma, who was the most ordinary person in the building, he's a little troubled by it, but you glaring at him with burning hatred is even worse than seeing you talk to someone else, so he just leaves the room.

despite the unhelpful suggestions he gets from the rest, he doesn't want you to lose your mind like ivan, even if the latter claims he isn't unhappy anymore. watching you when you sleep1!! yes, the only time he feels he can be around you now, when you're unaware of his presence. he doesn't like it, doesn't like having to walk on eggshells and hide from you like he was in the wrong. which he shouldn't be. he was only saving you from that hellhole and that shitty organization that never stood a chance against him. if he left you back there, you'd be dead. shouldn't you be grateful?

considering nikolai is like, the master of disguises, this mission should have been a piece of cake. get intel, and then he can do whatever he wants to you and your friends. this was a fun break for him! he was asked to join the company you worked for (a front for the organization) as a new hire and gather all the intel he could, but he didn't think he'd get attacked to anyone on the job.

you were surprisingly excited to guide him around the office, taking the senior role with pride. nikolai doesn't let it slip that he doesn't care about what you do or where the break room is, so he happily follows you around and shares your enthusiasm. you're all friendly and helpful to him, and he doesn't mind at all but it was a little annoying when he was trying to bug a meeting room and you just came around the corner, insisting he check out the new coffee machine. well, despite how irritating it got, he couldn't bring himself to dislike you for it.

and really, he can't help but tease you a little, watching the startled expression when he stares at you a little too coldly for a little too long, or lets it casually slip that he knew about the organization, though he's a little surprised by how quickly you bounce back to your usual carefree manner. oh, but the fun hadn't started yet! he was mostly looking forward, to the after. he couldn't wait to see your expression when you realize you've been cheated all along, and how you were going to die by his hands—

—but when the day came, it wasn't even a little satisfying to see you crumble. he didn't expect to be consumed entirely with guilt when he sees you tear up, hurt in your eyes. something inside him aches; he knows he's not invulnerable to feeling like this, but this intensity of emotion was new. he can't bear to look at you, facing the horror etched into your face at the sight of him, so he just disappears into his coat, leaving you somewhere far away from the devastation.

despite how much he yearns to be free he can't let you experience the same, unable to stop thinking about you. he checks in on you from time to time, hoping you'd try seeking him out. after all, he was the only other person who knew what happened, and you couldn't rely on anyone like you could on him. he knew you better than anyone else, all your secrets and your thoughts, and you'd need him by your side.

he'll definitely give into his urges and kidnap you eventually. he can't bear to be away from you, not after he knows you're probably feeling lonely, not knowing anyone else who could understand you. well, you probably didn't want to see the man who ruined your life, but it wasn't like you had many options. he's sorry that he hurt you, really! nikolai promises to be good, to go back to being the guy you befriended, but only if you promise to stay by his side.

[reusedtrashcan]

Jschlatt x reader: Love Game

ALRIGHTY!!! Finally, i have moved my smut from Wattpad to here. if you still use wattpad (i dont cause im an adult now,) you can follow me @reusedtrashcan!

I'm a trans boy, so the reader in this is trans but hasn't transitioned yet. I really want to, but I'm terrified to get it. Anyways, have a boy with titties and a VV.

  !SMUT!

"Y/N, ITS 9AM, CALM DOWN!" my lover, Johnathan Schlatt, shouts from the other room. I giggle quietly as I whisper to my twitch chat.

"I think I woke the bear up... I'll be riight back!" I stand up from my black and white gaming chair, making my way to mine and Schlatt's room, our orange tabby named Jambo following close behind me. I slowly open our door and peak in, seeing my king facing away from the door. I hold back a giggle as I see his medium length brown hair sticking up in tufts. Jambo wanders in, jumping on the bed and laying by his fathers feet.I walk over to the bed, climbing next to him, my 5'6" body body tiny compared to his 6'3" figure. I wrap my arm around his waist and set my head on his arm. "Johnny, I'm lonely... Come stream with me..." I whisper in his ear as I rub his chest and stomach. He groans, rolling over and throwing one arm over my waist, the other traveling up to play with my short blue hair. "Why not cuddle with me instead?" he mumbles tiredly, his morning voice deep and gravely. I giggle. "Because, I'm busy doing my job and streaming for 16k people who are waiting for me to return right now." I whisper sweetly, cupping his face, my hand resting on his 'mutton chop'. I lean forward and kiss him on the nose before standing up and straightening my 'Unus Annus' hoodie. He flips on his back and stretches before placing his hands behind his head, watching me as I fix myself in our full body mirror. "Whatcha' looking at, Punk?" I ask, faking an attitude. He laughs, standing up and walking over to me. He places his large hands on my hips, leaning close to my ear." I was admiring what's ~mine~." he whispers as one of his hands slides to my ass, squeezing it, making me gasp. He turns around and walks to our closet."I'll be out in a minute. Don't miss me too much..." he hums as I turn around, heading out of our room, a blushing mess. I walk back into the streaming room, looking directly at the camera before checking the chat. They are all asking where Johnathan is. "Schlatt will be here soon, he's getting ready so he looks like a pretty princess.'' I say laughing as I stand up straight. "What?" I hear him ask from behind me before I feel him wrap his arms around me, leaning down to bury his face in my neck. "Nothing Love..." I say as I smile, placing my hand on his head. He stands up, looking at my chat, who is spamming my 'AW POG' emote. He laughs before leaving the room again, probably to grab food or something.

~TIME SKIP~ Sighing as I end my stream, I sit back, feeling a presence behind me. I look up to see Johnathan looking down at me, smirking. He pokes my forehead, looking further down me before I realize why. I quickly pull my hoodie up a bit before giggling. He sighs and moves his attention to my computer screen, watching as I put my favorite playlist on. "How to Save a Life" by The Fray starts playing as Schlatt walks around the chair, picking up my small body and sitting down, setting me on his lap. I lean my head into his chest, enjoying the moment. After about 20 minutes of just sitting there listening to music and cuddling, he finally speaks as I wiggle down further into his crotch, trying to get comfortable. "Y/N..." he says, I shift again, which made him groan. "Y/N, stop moving." I gasp a bit as I realize what I did. I quickly try to hop up, but he wraps his arms around my waist, keeping me in place as he rubs against me, putting his head in the crook of my neck. (authors note, I'm writing this in Science class) Feeling his shallow breaths against my neck as he tries to keep in groans, our roommate Connor asleep in the next room. He continues to grind against me as he gets rougher, making me moan. He places his hand against my mouth as he gives one more hard grind before bending me forward and pushing me against my desk. He leans over me, grinding again, and whispering to me. "Next time Y/N, watch how you move, alright? Now, Prince, be a good slut for daddy."I nod my head and he chuckles, leaning back up, running his hands over my ass. He suddenly smacks it, making me gasp. He runs his hands up my hips, flipping me around and lifting me to sit on the desk and spreading my legs apart a little, stepping in between them as he takes my hoodie off. He immediately starts sucking, leaving hickeys on my neck. I moan as he gropes my boob with one hand, his other traveling into my pants. (I'm now in ELA class... hah) He sets me on my feet, looking at me impatiently. I quickly pull my pants down, leaving me only in my underwear and him fully dressed. He only looks at me with dominance. "Everything off Y/N." I look at him, rocking on my heels, feeling a bit bratty. Mistake. He wraps his hand around my neck and I hear a very familiar click. My eyes widen as I rush to take my panties off. "Good boy~" he hums, picking me up as I wrap my legs around him. He presses me against a wall to hold me up with one hand, using the other to take his throbbing member out of his pants. I whine as I feel it brush against me. He chuckles, brushing it against my opening, teasing me. I moan and he covers my mouth with his large hand as he pushes into me, letting out a soft groan. He slowly pumps, knowing he's driving me crazy. I whine and he lifts his hand from my mouth, wrapping it around my throat. "What do you want, baby?" he asks, smirking. I choke back moans. "Please..." I say, out of breath as he continues his teasing pace. "Please what baby boy? Use your words~" he purrs. "Please.... please... f-faster... h-harder..." I quietly say as he smiles crazily. Suddenly he slams into me, making me scream as he places his hand back on my throat. "Happily!" he laughs as he continues slamming into me. You can clearly hear my moans through his hand as I feel the burning knot start to build in my stomach. His pace stays just as ravaging as he groans. At the sound of his groan the knot in my stomach snaps as I cum on him. He continues pounding at the same pace. He looks down and his lip curls up. "Did I say you could cum, slut?" he spits, picking up his pace and throwing his head back. I begin to cry as the overstimulation overcomes my body. He keeps his pace as my tears roll down his hands, my screams sounding as though they aren't even muffled.

As I begin to come down from my high, I feel my second orgasm start to build up. I start whining to tell Schlatt so I don't get in trouble. He laughs.

"Do you really think i should let you cum?" he questions, removing his hand from my mouth again and grabbing a fist full of my hair, his thrusts getting sloppier. I nod rapidly. At that, he grins. "Beg"

"P-please... please Daddy, please let me cum, Ill be good! Please" I plead in-between moans. He chuckles, letting go of my hair and stroaking my cheek softly. "Good boy~ Cum with me~"

As his thrusts become harder and sloppier, I cum again. Seconds after I feel him release ropes of his seed inside of me. He pulls out, shifting me into bridal position as I feel his cum dripping out of me. He quickly throws a blanket over me as I lay my head on his chest. He carries me out the office and into the bathroom, setting me in the tub and starting the warm water. He momentarily leaves the room to grab me new clothes, and I hear Connor outside the door., making me giggle.

"Next time Schlatt, keep it down."

(If you want, dm some story ideas. ill take some.)

[moxfirefly]

B D J O V for Donnie, Karl and Alcina? (yes I am in love, no I dont have regrets uwu)

My 3 loves? Well why not! And pls enjoy the ficlet styles I’m going to opt for when doing dirty secrets! This is a little long so is going under the cut.

🩸🍷Alcina Dimitrescu🩸🍷

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and on the other)

A bit of an odd one here but she loves backs, like your actual back. The line of your spine, if you have those back dimples, ufff. She loves the shape of it if you’re on the more curvier side, she loves the skin, and your rolls, and any stretch marks. Just picture that elegant hand of hers ghosting over your back, nails maybe even claws.

On herself, well Alcina is aware of her assets and she’s very aware of her chest, both she’s quite proud of but she’s really proud of her figure over all.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There was a pretty seamstress in the village who always was brought up to the castle to help with her dresses. She was a pretty thing in Alcina’s eyes, very much her type. When your making or fixing or measuring a tailor made outfit for a 9ft+ woman well it gets tricky and a little more handsy than usual. Alcina didn’t mind, the seamstress didn’t either. It was interesting following simple commands even if they were asked upon her with nothing but grace and poise.

So as Alcina sat for the 40th time to have something around her neck marked to be fixed, she had to stand between her legs to best approach and see the mistake. Only sitting did she have the best chance at seeing her at a more eye to eye level (well as best as it could be).

She isn’t dumb, she knows curiosity, want and lust like the back of her hand. Sees the nervous swallow of the seamstress whenever hands glide across her chest. The whispered ‘pardon my lady’ when she rests a palm on Alcina’s throat and takes a needle to the neckline with all the gentleness she can muster. Of course it’s the moment to prick her finger, the quiet hiss and scent is enough to alert Alcina and without waiting for her to fuss she takes that bleeding digit and kisses it, tastes the bead of blood, all while looking straight at her. When she still sees lust there, oh does she pull her closer.

One of her maids walks in about twenty minutes later, an array of materials in her arms so she doesn’t quite catch how the Lady of the castle smooths her dress and tries not to laugh, chest heaving a little and legs closing a tad. The maid greets her with her usual honorifics before leaving the requested materials, she notices the seamstress isn’t there and arches a brow at the room. “Lavatory” is all Alcina says before the maid makes a question. She nods but feels something isn’t right with the current picture but still leaves.

Once gone.

The seamstress crawls out from under Alcina’s skirt, mouth shiny, hair disheveled and nice set of teeth marks at her bosom.

It becomes a frequent thing after that.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

It’s not to say she needs to because she sincerely feels she has anybody at her beck and call who is willing ready and able. But on the rare occasion she indulges in some self care, it’s mostly in her luxurious tub. Feeling the warm water, her hair clean and smelling of that weeks chosen fragrance, well it gets her thinking and thinking leads desiring and if there isn’t anybody she’ll handle it. Slow, she loves drawing out her own pleasure, loves to feel that rise but stops before it’s too close. She’ll do that, edge herself a little bit more before biting down on her lip to muffle a more particular louder cry.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Both. She lives for giving it and she loves to receive it. She is just, wow, so incredibly good at it, she’s goes about it in such erotic and passionate way and if you’re not looking like you are being possessed by the devil then she up’s her game to make sure that happens. You can squeeze her head with your thighs all you want, she’s built different lol she can handle it. Don’t yank to much on her hair though, claw at her all you want but easy on the do.

She’s had a few inexperienced lovers which she has to guide when they want to go down on her. She’s very particular of what and how she likes it, but she’s patient enough to teach you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I’ll do you one better, https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRSKhUoh/

⚙️Heisenberg⚙️

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and on the other)

https://hagelpaimon.tumblr.com/post/661063110466158592/i-wonder-wonder-who-ill-pick-hesi-baby-a

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) shout out to @imthegreenfairy88 for helping me out with this one.

The first few times he indulged in this he was very adamant in keeping it to himself and to himself only (with time and reassurance he chills out) but the first time he tried doing ‘back door’ stuff on himself he was very surprised about how good it fucking felt and every so often he indulged in it. There’s an occasion where he ends up in bed with some tourist, gun to his head he doesn’t remember their name but he sure fucking remember the blow job and fingering combo that they gave him that had him seeing fucking stars. He tensed up at first was about to say something but they crooked their fingers just right and swallowed his cock at the same time and words were out the window along with thoughts.

He was so far gone that it didn’t cross his mind that when he begged for another finger, he gave himself away and if their eyes weren’t indication of how delighted they had been, feeling two more additional fingers really proved the point.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

I mean I’m saying yea, he has to get creative with it sometimes so as to not get bored, but he picks up a few things he enjoys (he is creative after all) he’s definitely ruined his fair share of pillows, loves rutting into them. He has beat off probably in any section of the factory but shower is better for clean up. He for sure has done it outside of the factory, probably relaxing on a chair and if the weather is nice enough, it’s not like anybody is gonna suddenly drop by. He likes a tight closed fist when he’s close but enjoys a teasing touch to start things off, really enjoys grabbing his balls when he does it. Very messy messy boy when he cums.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

This man blows you like his life depends on it. VERY sloppy but it’s really hot, it’s how eager he is about it and how willing he is to suffocate and or choke on it. He’s told you to sit on his face multiple times at multiple moments of the day. He loves the taste of you, loves feeling suffocated by your thighs. You know what they about big noses too 🥴🥴

As for receiving he likes to dish out what he takes. So expect some rough mouth fucking, he will make you gag, he will make you all teary eyed cause he enjoys it. He’s fine with it without to be honest, he much prefers to be balls deep in you but if you enjoy doing it then expect hip thrusting.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not super loud, but he isn’t mute. He groans and moans but he’s also a talker so expect a lot dirty talk. His voice drops in a way when he’s fucking you that it makes your toes curl. He’s all breathy pants when he’s close. Lots and lots of cuss words.

👾Donnie💜

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and on the other)

https://hagelpaimon.tumblr.com/post/661063462078889985/b-body-part-their-favourite-body-part-of-theirs

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes the taste of his own cum.

He denies it, really denies it, just says it’s his way of cleaning you up after a nice romp but he really has a way of proving the opposite. Donnie has ‘finished’ on you in every way shape or form. On your stomach, back, face etc you name and each time he has cleaned you up he’s either wiped it up and sucked on his fingers or he’s just full blown licked it off of you.

And there is something so disgustingly erotic about that you haven’t or don’t want to call him out on it. You’ve gone down on his multiple times and he very eager to kiss you after your done. One time you purposefully left some on your chin and lips to see if he’d clean it up first but nah, kissed the heck out of you. His favorite is cumin in you and then going down on you. The first time he did that, it was enough to make your toes curl till they cracked and just as you were about to say something he was yanking another orgasm from you. The combined taste of his and yours release? Fuck now that was his favorite.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Does it and does it often. He’s not prudish about it, it’s free oxytocin and for a guy who’s convinced he’s never gonna get a shot at being with somebody physically, might as well practice some self love.

Loves visual stimulation but he’s really into audio stimuli. Likes those audios where he feels he’s there with the person or the ones where they give instructions. Donnie is really into edging and if he’s got the time and privacy he can literally edge himself for a couple of hours. Has at times managed hands free orgasms. Has made cock sleeves or basically fleshlights (ah ingenuity), can have his moments where he’s super slow and teasing about it, light strokes and all that. Can also have moments where he basically fucks his fist to the point of making some pretty obscene wet noises. If listening to audios or watching videos he really loves trying to cum at the same time as the person in the vid or audio. Has a bottle of lotion right on the desk but that shit is so cluttered with stuff that nobody has picked up on it and honestly it’s kinda funny.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

GIVE GIVE GIVE.

Oh my lord is he OBSESSED with giving oral. It’s such a big turn on for him. He just loves how intimate it is, he loves how he’s giving you pleasure in such an intimate position. LOVES over stimulating with his mouth, loves feeling thighs trying to break his head, happy to die down the suffocated in his favorite place, loves feeling a hand at the back of his head and pushing him in further.

He’s not crazy about receiving cause he knows his size is a challenge but he’s not opposed to it, he much rather get a hand job from you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Loud and not afraid about it. He enjoys the fuck out of it and is going to be vocal about it unless it’s adamant to be quiet because people are around. His churrs are really nice, deep but not as baritone as say Raph’s, but they feel and sound so good.

[nebulathespacepirate]

I made this post after my 10year old cat died in 2015 after being ill for some time. We missed the early signs back then, tried to give her help but it was futile and too painful for her. And this november one of my cats died. Her name was Vasya - Vasilisa. I came home that evening, kissed her, she was fine. A few hours passed, i came by her again, she had trouble breathing. I took her in my arms, accidentally smelled her breath - it was horrible. Me and my mom started giving her water and dissolved baking soda (good for poisoning), she didnt get any better, had trouble walking and then just laid down. It was near 9pm, almost all the vet clinics were closed, but i phoned some vet trying to get answers what to do, but the answering girl only named the price, and i said i was afraid they were not gonna make it in time. Then they called back saying they were not going to come. I decided to bring her to the clinic that was supposedly open. My baby started screaming by that time. Thank god i dont really remember that sound. She didnt talk much in her life. We put her in that cat bag, went out. There was ice on the ground. She went quiet in the middle of our way there. I didnt cry at first, couldnt imagine her not being alive. For some reason we kept going and when we reached the clinic there was a sign saying they were closed early that day. We opened the bag, she was gone. We went home, i cried, still couldnt believe anything. Took a shovel, found a place where the ground wasn't frozen, buried her. I still couldn't think straight. I got ill a day after (after my mom who had been sick with flu or some virus before that week). For two weeks i was almost delusional, cried all the time. Then went to work again. Thought i got better, cried in the evenings of course but still was doing better. Then the new year holidays started and i fucking started losing my mind all over again. I dont want to remember anymore but i have this intense guilt like i fucked up several times that night. For some dumb reason i decided not to wait until the morning and not to try and find out from the vets what the fuck happened to her. The biggest mistake of my life. The thing is she was only 4 years old, didnt have any signs of health problems except she was a bit overweight and not very active (she was sterilised for 2.5 years). I was so distracted from everything those days with my mom being sick and all that i missed the possible changes. I kept thinking about the causes ever since, came up only with heart attack (which is often described as not showing any previous symptoms) and maybe it was caused by that virus we had. All the other explanations are mystical. The only thing that makes it easier is that she didnt suffer much. It wasnt weeks on the IV like with my poor kitty in 2015 or long and probably useless rehabilitation afterwards if we could save her.

I hadnt been well that month, was actually hoping i would catch that something from my mom so i could get rest, stay home, sleep, spend time with my cats. And that i did. My god, she was my..i dont wanna say favourite. But she was mine. When she was born, my mom instantly decided to keep her only sister, because she looked a little like our old cat (from the post above). And we thought that Vasya was male at first and tried to find her a home. By the time some ppl agreed to come look at her, we realised she was a girl and i was in love. And she stayed. When she got a bit older, she always slept in my room, considered me her owner, and i basically took care of her till this past summer when my mother and i had to exchange the bedrooms and at night the doors stayed open and the cats went where they wanted.

I knew i had depression for a while but it was manageable. Or i didnt want to do anything about it. Now that my baby's death hit me so hard, i went crazy. I cry all the time and not even about her anymore. My mood changes 10 times a day. I managed to distract myself by this time and feel alright now, but i know that tomorrow i will go through a few circles of hell again. I probably need help, we'll see about that.

Sometimes i think i accepted it and then i think about it and still cant believe she died. In my head i describe myself as the girl owning this cat, nothing else seems to matter. And she left me.

I love you to death, Vasya. I dont have the words to describe what you were to me.

is it normal for the ones who stayed alive to blame themselves for the loss of their loved ones

[gennabi]

i'm not going anywhere

takashi x reader (no prns) • 1.5k

platonic; fluff, slight humour, comfort

ft. takashi x hakkai (romantic), slight chifuyu x reader (platonic)

[ aka taka being a bff n brother figure , reader and hakkai has some sort of bff vs bf rivalry , slight slander to hakkai lol (i love him i promise) , a bathing scene so there's nudity , taka crying n relying on reader bcs yes saur true , luna calls reader "-chan" only to emphasize closeness ^^ ]

🎶 lean on me - seventeen

request :

hay!!! so like i was wondering if you could do a Takashi Mitsuya x reader where like they're SUPER duper close to eachother but doesn't have feelings

this kind of scenario where like they take a bath together, nun else they just chill and talk. PLATONIC FEELINGS ykk?

im sorry if i dont make sense this is like my first req ever T T

SORRY I NOTICED THIS SUPER LATE you accidentally sent it to my submission instead of asks but thats completely fine, ill just off my submission from now on so misunderstandings wont happen again :)

BUTTT YESSSS I KNPW I SQUEALED WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS 😭💖💖 i want bff taka to baby and scold yes you saw that right me so bad :(

dw abt it!! this is my first request here too so im grateful more than anythg :D 💖💞💞

tokyo revenger masterlist | main masterlist

"you forgot your morning coffee."

takashi strides into your class at seven sharp, doing what he's been doing for the past year without fail. you take the canned espresso from him, the cold surface slightly jolting you awake as you smile, "thanks." he looks down to your desk and sees the half-filled worksheet and sighs. "what did you do last night?." his voice similar to the tone he would use whenever luna and mana did a mistake. but he's not your brother so you literally have no reason to hang your head down low.

yet your reply comes in a mutter anyway and takashi frowns, and now you feel like a disappointment (ironic how you're thinking this as if you won't repeat it tomorrow) as you clear your voice. "chifuyu found a link to the jujutsu movie yesterday so...," you trail off as you lift your head, takashi's eyes piercing into yours. you gulp. "yeah.."

the lavender-haired guy heaves out another sigh. then, he sits himself down on the chair opposite you. you blink. turning the book so that it faces him, he begins to do his thing as his hand skillfully circles here and there with the same pen─ your pen ─he's been using for the last month. maybe you should buy him a matching one.

you don't notice you've been staring at him for the past few minutes until he lightly taps your nose with the pen.

"did you even hear what i was saying? honestly, what would you even do without me, y/n?"

"taka-chaannnnnn."

is this why people say they hate rain? you muse to yourself when the white, now-transparent shirt starts to become one with your skin, exposing your body and now, everyone is going to fall in love with you. you would have to shoulder this big burden of being thousands' crush. they're going to think you're effortlessly sexy and-

"don't tell me you forgot your umbrella too."

your bestfriend's voice disrupts your thought process and you reply with a side glance. only then you notice his other best friend standing beside him. you can recognize that almost bald, blue-haired guy anywhere. how dare he took away your position of takashi's fanclub leader. though you're not entirely opposed to it since the guy's been giving your best friend literal heart eyes just for literally breathing. idiots. one of these days, you might as well trip hakkai and make takashi catch him or something.

shaking your head, you pout. "was only waiting for you, taka." takashi purses his lips at that before saying, "sorry y/n, toman has a sudden meeting today."

right. toman.

"then i guess i can't really beg you to change your schedule then," your pout deepens, "toman is important after all." the first division captain slips off his sweater and instructs you to lift your hands before putting it on you. he then taps your cheek as if it'll help comfort you. it helps. "when i'm finished, promise we'll take a bath later together okay. we'll use that bath bomb you dearly love, is that okay with you?" he says this as he looks at you. and it seems to do its magic when your eyelids flutter close and hands reaching out to hug his form. "that, and you better let me hog the blanket tonight." you mumble and he simply nods. (and hakkai in the back is now curving his lips downwards. how dare you take a bath and sleep with taka-chan before he can?)

your best friend unlatches himself from you after a moment, patting your head as a sign of parting. "i have to go now. take care, bub." you wave them off as they continue their walk and you hug the sweater tighter. you won't be looking au de naturel anymore but you suppose it's fine since it's your best friend's clothing covering you.

you were playing fortress with luna and mana when the bell suddenly dings. the three of you rejoice and choruses of "taka-nee is back!!" echoes through the house before the door is opened.

takashi chuckles when his sisters immediately lunges for each of his legs, their tiny hands holding it like there's no tomorrow. he makes an effort to walk into the living room and you immediately reach for his bag to help the trudging guy. and again, takashi's future boyfriend is here. hakkai catches the way your eyes look him up and down and immediately defends himself, "i'm babysitting those two." your expression lightens and you skip to him to whisper, "don't lie, you want to ogle taka's body right? not like you haven't done it though."

when takashi turns and spots his best friend cackling while his other best friend drops to the ground, a soft smile blooms onto his face.

ah. they're getting along well.

"man, i'm so tired~" you whine as you start to discard your clothes meanwhile your best friend checks the water temperature. he makes sure it's slightly warm before filling in the bathtub. you were searching for your favourite bath bomb when he replies, "tell me about it."

"i still don't get why the school insists us to change to our uniforms after p.e." a prompt 'aha!' leaves your lips when you find what you've been looking forward to and you continue, "it's not like you immediately shoo the bad smell away just because you wear another uniform. it just adds the amount of smelly clothes you have to wash! and also the club activities! why did i even join them in the first place.. sure it's fun but i didn't ask for the president position..!" you wail out as you close back the cabinets dramatically.

he lovingly rolls his eyes and begin to unbutton his shirt, "isn't hakkai the vice president though? depend on him a little, i think he's very reliable─", he immediately corrects himself, "no. he is reliable." you take your usual spot on a small chair beside the tub as you wait for the water to reach a certain level. when it does, he gets in and you throw in the bath bomb. "it's mine but you're the one using it first, huh." you jokingly scoff and he chuckles.

you let the silence fills the air then as you start to wash his hair with the shower. you pump out the shampoo before your hands work skillfully through his scalp, massaging every single spot with precision. you have chifuyu to thank this ability for. you don't know how and why he knows how to massage, but you swear he's a jack of all trades.

you thought takashi had dozed off when he suddenly starts, "you have to learn to depend on others you know." and you just had to burst your lungs right there and then because, "say that to yourself then, taka." "this is why i hate you."

"no but seriously," you wash off the shampoo on your hands, "would it be that bad to say 'hey, i'm actually struggling right now'? you know i'm always here, right?"

and it's true. even now, he's asking about you first. right after an important meeting and his first concern is to know how your day went. it's unfair, you think. he's your best friend but you're his best friend too.

he feels the water running through his hair when you continue rambling, "you don't even have to explain if you don't want to. you can just say 'i don't feel good today' and i'll do everything to make you feel better. cuddles, food, even money─ not too much money though, i'm not that rich. but anyway, my point stands. rely on me a bit, yeah?"

you're met with no response so when you stand to get a better look, takashi is immediately ducking his face away from you, "dude, what the f─ shit, you're crying─ oh, um─ fuck what do i do─." in your panic, you try to copy a scene you've seen from a movie in attempt to soothe him. cupping his cheeks so that he looks at you, your fingers delicately brush away his tears.

takashi cries beautifully. not that you want him to ever cry again. but his tears are silent, his sobs contained to himself and himself only. you don't think this is the first time he cried. but you're glad that this time, and the next ones, you'll be there right beside him.

"hey. hey. i'm here. takashi, i'm here."

you stare at him with a heavy feeling in your stomach, watching as he tries to blink the tears away but at your words, he feels like a baby again and those tears fall down faster. "it's alright, come here." you try your best to give him a hug from your position and he immediately caves in.

his hands loop around your neck a little tighter when you whisper for the nth time, "i'm here. it's okay."

bonus:

"why is it so quiet in there?," luna pulls hakkai's sleeve and points to the toilet, "y/n-chan is always baam this and that but it's so quiet today." hakkai softly smiles, "i'm sure they're alright. or y/n-san would've been screaming," and the two little girls laugh at that, nodding their head in agreement.

"now, who wants to watch jujutsu kaisen 0?"

advertising jjk 0 bcs i can

[moon-goddess-posts]

Hi I saw your requests were open and I’d like to request maybe Kaeya comforting his s/o once they’re rejected from the knights of favonious. They’ve tried really hard to get accepted but got rejected for some reason.

Hi! I'm so sorry it took long to answer your request 😭😭 school has been pretty rough and my motivation has been dying but here it is!

Kaeya comforting s/o

Hurt/comfort, fluff, slight angst, slightly suggestive 🤨

You trained so hard for this day, practiced everything from knightly poses to helping the city as much as you could for hardly any pay. Some told you it was over working but you desperately wanted to be accepted. You wanted to continue helping others and you longed for the next step of that. But life wasn't always fair. You were on your way to try outs, people cheered for you with their hearts believing you were more than capable to become a knight. Excitement filled your bones and nervousness kicked in as you were greeted with the Knights of Favionus doors.

With giving everything you've got in the try outs, you were sure you'd be able to get accepted. You worked so hard right? Had the gods witnessed your hard work as well? Walking back home, so many thoughts raced through your head. Days went by waiting for a note, you never gave up on waiting for a response and you dreamed of wearing the uniforms and going on so many missions. Even possibly working with your boyfriend the calvary captain, Kaeya. You had met during your practice on becoming a knight and he was impressed to say the least.

Finally after a week of waiting, a letter came in. Reality kicked in as you read the note.

"We would like to inform you that unfortunately the Knights of Favionus believed you didn't meet the requirements to become a knight. We were impressed by your mastery of your swordsmanship but it was not what we were looking for. Please don't be discouraged, there are always other try outs being hosted.

Thank you for your hard work

-Knights of Favionus"

"What...?" Confusion and sorrow began creeping in. Had this been a mistake? But your name had been at the beginning so it couldn't have been.

"Was I really not good enough?" You had worked so hard for this opportunity, had they turned a blind eye to what you've been doing? Tears started seeping out of your eyes and you didn't hold them back. So many thoughts raced through your head to the point of insanity. You were laughing hysterically as tears slipped down your face. You wanted to rip your hair out, all that training, all that practice, all those times Kaeya trained with you, the times he believed in you. It was for nothing. All of it was for nothing. Laughs turned into loud sobs, into cracked whimpers and weeps. How would you face everyone now?

You didn't leave your house for several days, completely ignoring the fact that there was people out there who need your help, who wanted to see you. Knocks were at your door but you didn't bother to answer until your heard a particularly familiar voice.

"Kaeya, he can't see me like this! Not when I'm such a wreck!"

"Hey its me Kaeya, please open your door. I know what happened and im really worried about you," his voice wasn't like usual, it had a mix of sadness and worry.

"G-give me a second please!" You rushed to the bathroom to try and freshen up, making sure he didn't notice how puffy your eyes were. You opened the door and saw kaeya, you wanted to cry again, cry into his arms, but you held in your tears.

"I'm here now..." was the only thing he said before pulling you into a tight embrace. You couldn't help but cry again, but this time it was comforting. You felt safe as you let someone finally help you, maybe that was what you were missing. The ability to ask for help in difficult situations. All this time you had thought being a knight was only helping and protecting others, but you also lacked the trust for them to have your back as well. More tears flowed out like a faucet at that realization.

Kaeya didn't dare speak a word as you both embraced each other for some time. You didn't notice being carried until you felt the familiar sensation of your bed.

"Kaeya...I dont know what to do...I worked so hard for it, I wanted to work with you as well, I wanted to help people more," choked sobs came out and Kaeya rubbed your back.

"Becoming a knight is just a title. I recognized your hard work, and so many others have. Jean was the one who made the decision, i'll talk to her about it tomorrow."

"N-no its fine i just...I dont know, was I not good enough?" You gripped his shirt.

"You were and will always be good enough my love, you've done so many good things for this city and you're so humble about it too. Even without being a knight, so many others see you as one." You were glad for Kaeya's reassurance, the tears started to slow down and you started to get sleepy.

"Stay here i'll get you water ok?"

"Mmhm..." you let him go and started getting under the covers. Few minutes later he came back with the water and some of your favorite snacks.

"Would you mind sitting up for me?" You followed his instructions and grabbed the cup of water gulping it down.

"Would you like to eat these snacks or get out of the house and order something from Good Hunter?" You've been stuck in your house for almost a week and you longed for fresh air.

"I wanna go outside." He gave you a warm smile and nodded his head.

"I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready"

"Alright ill be here if you need anything, I love you darling" Kaeya said genuinely, which made you blush.

"I-love you too," you rushed to the bathroom and he chuckled

Freshly out of the shower, you grabbed a new pair of clothes and it felt weird being in something other than pajamas. As you were about to put your shirt on you heard a knock.

"Ah, dont come in im not done changing yet!" Kaeya didn't listen though and barged in anyway.

"Kaeya! I told you not to come in!" You were blushing profusely.

"Hm? Whats wrong? No need to be shy, I've seen it all before" he smirked and walked toward you.

"Thats not the point!" He didn't seem to stop coming towards you while you covered yourself with the shirt you were about to put on. You slowly felt his hands creep over you waist and you flinched from the cold sensation.

"You always feel so warm," he whispered in your ear, now his hands going up further and his lips on your neck.

"Kaeya...I thought we were going out..."

"Haha we are, I just missed you too much. I'll be done soon..." you felt his smile on your neck and you closed your eyes. His hands, his lips, his voice, it made you realize how much you missed him too. You hung on to him waiting for Kaeya to be done with his little shenanigan. His hands and lips left your body suddenly which made you whine and he laughed.

"Shall we get going? Oh right, you still have to get dressed" he snickered.

"GET OUTT!" you shoved him out the door and he still kept laughing. You hated but loved his teasing. He hadn't even kiss your lips but you already felt so hot all over. As you put on your shirt, you hoped he'd give you more after dinner. Once you were fully dressed, you walked out the door with Kaeya.

"You look absolutely stunning" kaeya kiss your hand and you rolled your eyes, you loved him anyway.

"You better finish where you left off after you take me out." You looked at him in the eye and a smile tugged at his lips.

"Oh? After you were so embarrassed back there? Will you be able to handle it?" You playfully punched his shoulder and he laughed out.

"Are you done?" You said

"Yes yes, let's get going for real" he smiled and took your hand. You smiled back already forgetting what had happened to you.

[morizoras-cave]

Over The Line (Request)

Tom Hiddleston x gn!teen!co-star!reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Request Description: alternatively, could you please do a tom hiddleston x teen!costar!reader where she's being abused by her manager. one day, when tom enters the break room, he sees the reader's manager hit her. he becomes really mad and protective over the reader. thank you!

Warnings: child abuse, yelling, harsh insults, language

(A/N): woah it feels weird doing all this again. anyway im back! i wont be posting as often as i have previously, but ill still try to write as much as possible. i just dont want to pressure myself :) ill make another post thats maybe a bit more precise about this. hope y’all enjoy!

Your manager had always been harsh. Even at the early stages of your business relationship, he’d yell and insult you. But you were so young, it was hard to understand it. You just thought that it was normal, and even thought you didn’t like it, you sucked it up. 

The first time he hit you, was when you talked back. It was in your very early teens, when you had started feeling a little rebellious. He was yelling about a failed audition, when you said that “it hardly mattered” and that you “find something new”. 

He slapped you across the cheek and whispered with gritted teeth, that you should never ever talk back to him again. You didn’t. And you didn’t tell anyone, because you’d convinced yourself this was something all actors and actresses went through. When your manager realised you weren’t telling anyone, he started hitting you regularly, releasing whatever frustrations he had on you. 

It was only recently you’d become aware that it wasn’t okay. You always wondered if it was right to feel so sad and broken and worthless, especially around a manager. You found out that abuse from managers was not normal. And it was bad. 

But at that point, what could you do? Would anyone believe you? I mean, he’d been your manager for almost a decade! Could you tell him? Would he be angry? Would your parents be angry? Were you overreacting? 

There was too much doubt in your mind, so you just kept it in, and took whatever insults and violence he gave you. 

“God, Y/n. You can’t go around forgetting lines like that? Practice, practice, practice. God, you’re such a stupid fucking bitch. Can’t even remember a line. A goddamn line. And it’s your job. People must think you’re a fucking idiot. You can’t even hide your idiocy around professionals? You’re pathetic.”

This was nothing new to you. It still hurt nonetheless. You stood still, looking at the floor. There was a slight shake to your body, and you flinched each time he made a big gesture. 

“Repeat your lines, Y/n. Repeat the next scenes lines!” he looked at you with those mean eyes. His fist was closed - something that made you aware of the consequences if you would not answer correctly. 

“Um..” you swallowed. Your voice was weak and small, tears pooling in your eyes. You felt pathetic. “L-Loki! Don’t. You-You can’t do this to me. You don’t have to.” 

Silence followed your unsure voice, except for the impatient and angry tapping of your manager’s foot. “Go on.”

“Oh- Uh.. That’s not how- That’s not how I feel. Can’t you- Um.. No wait- Don’t you understand tha-”

Before you could correct your mistake, he interrupted you. First came the sound, a loud, unforgiving slap. Then the pain, staticky and pulsing. Then the tears and the hand that went to your cheek to hold it. 

“You fucking idiot!” he spat. You were hyperventilating, as he barked in your face, furious like you wouldn’t believe. He raised his hand again, holding it for a moment, to watch sickly, as you trembled and closed your eyes, readying yourself for another slap. 

It didn’t come. It didn’t come and you didn’t dare open your eyes. It could be another trick. You just stood there, shaking and doubled over, with arms in front of you. 

“Oh! T-Tom! How long have you been there?” 

Huh?

You peaked open your eyes, to see your manager, his head turned to the entrance. He had an intense fake smile on his lips, and had his hands in his pockets. You looked over in shock, and indeed, your co-star and friend, Tom, stood there, paralysed. 

He was angry. Eyebrows furrowed, nostrils flaring, and body tense. It was written all over him. It was something you so instinctually associated with punishment, which was why when he marched over angrily, you flinched and clamped up, thinking, for some reason, that he would hit you. 

Again there was silence. Tom stood, fist raised to your manager, breath like fire. But then he saw you. Hurt and scared. Thinking that he would hit you. While it only made him angrier at your manager, it also made him want to focus more on you. He, reluctantly, put down his fist. 

He snaked his arm around your shoulder and pulled you to him. His eyes didn’t leave your managers. Your manager knew he was caught. He was quiet now, waiting for Tom’s reaction.

“I’m gonna take Y/n out of here. Help them calm down, comfort them. Then I’m going to report you to the police and you’re going to go to prison.” Tom said calmly, but his voice was shaking. There was one, almost infinite moment, of relentless eye contact and intense air. Tom let go of the anger and turned around, guiding you away from that monster. 

He stopped. “You fucking scumbag,” he spat, and then disappeared behind the door with you. 

Meanwhile you’re crying. No, sobbing. Shaking and hardly walking, sniffling and your heart is pounding. It was both relief and terror. What would happen now? What would your parents do? What would your co-stars and friends think? It was all too much. 

“Shh,” Tom whispered, pulling you into a different room. It was seemingly an empty breakroom. He squatted down in front of you, and shushed you again. 

He was frowning, as he wiped your tears away, gentle on the cheek that had been slapped. “It’s okay. It’s okay, Y/n. I got him away. He’s not gonna hurt you anymore.” 

Slowly, Tom calming voice pulled you down, down to a place where he could communicate with you. 

“Thank you,” you croaked. Tom smiled sadly. 

“No need, sweetheart. I need to know a couple of things before I can report him, is that okay?” 

Tom went on to ask you several things, all the while hugging you and reassuring you. Complimenting you. It was tough. It was everything you feared, but it was good. It was nice, nicer than you could have ever imagined, the feeling of letting it all out. 

And even if it was hard at times, in court, with parents, media, friends, Tom always stayed right there with you, supporting you through the hard parts. 

“It’s okay, Y/n. It’s going to be okay.”

And it really felt like it would. Especially, with Tom right there with you. It would be okay. 

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun @deephideoutmilkshake @rae-is-typing @sophs-library @herecomesthewriterwitch @alicedanganh @eviemarvel @idk123906 @tamayakii​ @xiumin-girl99​ @frostedgiant 

[riathedreamer]

You asked for it: live thoughts from Ria and @creatrixanimi​ watching RvB Zero.

So, after having a movie night the day before (third movie night in a week, actually, we are very productive) watching Neil Breen movies and “Cool Cat”, it was now time to touch upon Zero. Sadly, Zero does not belong in the “so bad it’s good” category, but alas, Ria had to spoil Haley’s innocence.

This is not a proper edited review, but just snippets of our live reaction while watching the thing together. We are not drunk, but this continued way past midnight for Ria, so maybe her brain isn’t fully functioning. Also, Ria is a potty mouth because cursing is easy when it’s not your native language. Enjoy.

Episode 1:

Ria: I can’t figure out if they were trying to do a Grif and Simmons parallel with those two random guards talking outside, the ones with the Wash retconning.

Haley: Their armor doesn’t cover their noses. 

Ria: That’s gotta be cold. Frostbitten noses.

...

Haley: There is no exposition. Like, it feels like the writers had their idea and know what is going on, but we don’t so it just feels weird and random. It feels like a Marvel movie.

Ria: Is that a compliment? I haven’t watched Marvel.

Haley: Not a good one.

 ...

Ria: This episode isn’t that bad in itself. But it’s just there to establish that the OG characters can’t beat this new villain, but the new guys can, and, urgh.

 ...

Episode 2:

[The shot focuses on One’s behind.]

Ria’s dirty mind: Ass.

 ...

Ria: STOP CALLING HIM DAVID.

...

Ria: I like this character, but I don’t remember his name.

Haley: Raymond.

Ria: This is why we need a name system like with the Freelancers and states. Should’ve just been numbers all the way through. Except Eleven, you fucking whore.

 ...

Haley at the sight of Raymond’s phone: It’s so big.

Ria: It’s the future. I can believe it.

 ...

Ria: Here’s the thing driving me crazy. Axel is a normal name in Denmark. But like, only old people use it. I know two Axels and they are both older than eighty. So that’s when I think of when I see Axel.

 ...

[After the whole training montage where we are introduced to the characters, we are still confused.]

Ria: I can’t remember their names.

Haley: Well, they didn’t show all of them. They didn’t show One.

Ria: They did!

Haley: They did?

Ria: Wow. So we got all that tell and no show, and we are still confused.

 ...

Haley: When it comes to genre, it’s actually not that bad with the narrated tell and don’t show. If it wanted to be a cheesy/bad action movie, that’s a trope that’s used relatively frequently in the genre. It’s a bad action movie. But it’s not RvB. It’s kinda like a particularly bad Marvel movie.

Ria: You’re really not selling me on the Marvel movies tonight.

 ...

Ria: I know I’m just a sucker for Joe, but I keep thinking of s15. Like, here they just use the files as a cheap way to introduce the characters. But like, in s15, Dylan just read out loud Grif’s file, and it was not to introduce him, but like, to show the complexity of the characters and go against the files? I don’t know, it just seems way cooler now.

 ...

[After the whole “what’s East’s deal” scene, we were so confused. Literally paused for five minutes trying to figure who was whose dad and why and what. How many daughters did Axel have? And where are they? We were just lost. Future Haley: Him waxing poetic about his daughters while watching the two girls in his team train confused me like I thought he was talking about East and One and couldn’t count sdfghjk. Future Ria: I’d even watched the show before and I was still confused.]

Ria: I can’t figure out if they’re too fast or if we’re just stupid.

Haley: It’s like I’m trying to remember the details but it all slips through my fingers.

Ria: The whole Zero experience is to feel too old for this shit.

 ...

Ria: STOP FUCKING CALLING HIM DAVID

 ...

One: This is how it’s done, grandma.

Ria: Fuck you.

 ...

Episode 3:

Haley: People would like it if they love dumb action shows. It works as a mindless action show.

 ...

Haley: So this is a temple?

Ria: I hate the worldbuilding. Is this the same planet as before? Like, Chorus had temples, but it also had lore about it. Is this the same sort of temples?

Haley: So shouldn’t this temple have its own key? Why do they need to include Tucker? It makes no sense for the temple to require a totally different sword from a different planet.

Ria: So they could beat him up ‘cause OG characters are weak now.

 ...

Haley: I don’t like the training scenes. They are so long and boring.

Ria: This is like the third episode where they are training. Holy shit.

 ...

Haley: It’s not that bad. But if you like Red vs. Blue, it’s not something for you. They aren’t really comparable.

Ria: I just don’t understand what they wanted to continue for Red vs. Blue. Like, it’s not the worldbuilding or the plot or the characters. I just don’t get it.

 ...

Haley: Raymond is the best character.

Ria: I like Raymond.

Haley: He’s RvB. He should be the main character.

 ...

Ria: Did East just use the “I’m not like the other (girls)” line?

Haley: I don’t like her. She’s a brat. Why did Carolina have to apologize? They were just training, this is something she’s gonna have to deal with on a daily basis lmao.

Ria: Didn’t Carolina have a cast on her arm? It’s gone now. I can’t keep up with the timeline. So, she’s healed, but how long was Wash gone? They are so vague about everything. Worldbuilding, timeline, motivations.

 ...

Ria: …Did Carolina just say she’d suit up? While wearing a full armor suit?

 ...

[And this is where the cursed part takes place. To talk, we’d often pause the thing. Here, I randomly paused during the introduction for Starlight Laboratories. There’s a desk in the shot. With a fucking marker on it.]

Haley: That’s a Crayola marker. That’s a Crayola marker on the table.

Ria: Glad we can appreciate the details by pausing.

[Haley then missed the entire Axel flashback scene because she was too busy looking up pictures of Crayola markers. When this is revealed, Ria lost it for like, three minutes]

Haley: I had that marker as a kid. 

Ria: So 4/5 stars for the marker?

Haley: They were supposed to smell like blueberries or something but they just smelled like chemicals.

Ria: This is the most excited we’ve been about Zero so far.

[Future Haley: I was literally laugh-crying you dont understand. This was the best part of the show.]

...

Episode 4:

Ria: They all have super powers. It’s so weird.

Haley: I keep thinking they are gonna explain stuff. But they don’t. So I’m just confused.

 ...

[Haley has now brought forth all the markers in her room to find a Crayola one. She drops them all on the floor. Ria loses it again.] [Future Haley update: I found a yellow one it smells like lemons :)]

 ...

Ria: They are all glowing and have super powers. It’s weird. Like, I know we had super powered armor before but that was all connected to AIs. I don’t get how all of this works. They don’t have AIs.

 ...

[We both agree that we enjoy Raymond and Tiny. Bless them.]

 ...

Ria: It’s weird. The dialogue is so oblivious, it comments on its own mistakes. Like, Carolina just acknowledged Wash has had a computer in his head before. But they don’t acknowledge the whole canonical lore about his trauma regarding computers in his head and why he’d hate this. Same with the name David. They just noticed that it’s his first name and that’s how they’d show how close Carolina is with him, but they didn’t acknowledge the canon lore that Wash dislikes people using his first name.

 ...

Episode 5:

Haley: Why didn’t they use Locus’ sword instead. It’d make more sense. He’s the one travelling around planets and wanting to help people?? 

Ria: What’s the worldbuilding here? Is Tucker on the same planet? Is this Earth? Chorus?

 ...

Haley: Gotta love it when they make Tucker hit on teenagers.

Ria: Oh god why did they make East 18.

 ...

Haley: They should have done something with the Warthog song, even if that’s a Red Team thing.

Ria: I miss Red Team.

 ...

Ria: Wait, so if these three swords are connected, why can the two first ones move by themselves and they have like super powers connected to them? When Tucker’s sword is just boring? They didn’t even make a joke about how the two new swords are longer than Tucker’s.

 ...

Tucker: I’m fine, I have my sword.

Ria: That line is so tragic in hindsight.

 ...

One: It’s Tucker. He is dead.

Carolina: Oh my god.

Haley: *laughs her ass off*

 ...

Haley: I don’t understand why anyone is doing anything.

Ria: Your brain is still thinking about that fucking marker.

 ...

Episode 6:

Ria: The dialogue did it again! Wash just said “amazing medical tech”. Like, he points out a plot hole. Because that amazing tech can heal brain injuries and bring people back from death, but East had to be tortured for years to heal her vague illness? Like, why couldn’t their amazing tech fix that.

 ...

[While watching the design of the temple.]

Ria: It looks like those are just plates glued to the wall. Dinner is served.

 ...

Haley: There is no logical reason why they brought in Tucker. His sword isn’t even from this planet.

Ria: To lure in fans.

 ...

Haley in a very sad voice: The speech wasn’t good.

 ...

Episode 7:

Ria: Is all of this happening on the same planet? They keep driving. The worldbuilding is so weird. At least earlier RvB made a joke about how they could just drive everywhere. This is like a big desert, a training base, laboratory, city and temples and Tucker’s workplace, and I don’t know if it’s even on the same planet.

 ...

Ria: Diesel is just standing there waiting while they outfit Carolina.

Haley: It’s like a video game.

 ...

Ria: The temple’s walls are filled with runes.

Haley: It feels like a free/bought asset. It doesn’t even look like the temples on Chorus. It looks like something in WoW or something like that.

Ria: It’s driving me mad. I can read runes! Imagine a big boss fight and the freaking alphabet is plastered on the walls. That’s what I’m looking at.

 ...

Haley: Zero is such a boring villain. It’s not interesting when we don’t know what this “power” actually is or what he wants to do with it.

 ...

Ria: That’s the helmet Spencer wore.

Haley: Oh god I forgot about him.

Ria: So did the writers.

Haley: Spencer should have been the real villain.

 ...

Haley: *sees the random model of the temple guardian alien* I miss Santa.

 ...

Episode 8:

Ria: The aliens are just dancing in the background while Carolina is fighting Diesel.

Haley laughing: Oh my god, they are. They are just jumping up and down.

 ...

Ria: So, the villain just turned overpowered, and the solution is that Raymond just flicks a switch we haven’t heard about and now the heroes are overpowered too?

Haley: It just makes them shiny. And like... they don’t even use the “power”, they don’t fight him with their powers which only some of them have, they just shoot their ordinary guns at him while doing unnecessary flips.

Ria: I just remembered Church’s dick switch. That had more dramatic buildup.

 ...

Axel: You’re too cocky for that.

Ria’s dirty brain: Cock.

 ...

Post Zero thoughts:

[Ria returns from bathroom break and Haley is proudly showing off her marker over video cam.]

Haley: There was too much going on so I just focused on the marker.

Ria: So how many stars would you give it?

Haley: It’s really bad.

Ria: How many stars for marker representation?

Haley: Three out of five. It was only there for a second.

 ...

Haley: In the beginning, it wasn’t that bad. It was dumb, but also fun and sorta cool. But then it just went on for too long and they didn’t explain anything properly and it stopped being fun really fast. But I can see why some people might enjoy it. Like, you’d love it for its action but only that. Not for plot and/or the character writing.

Ria: I think my biggest problem is the worldbuilding. They kept everything so vague because they didn’t want to connect, not really. Like, where is this happening? When? Why are Carolina and Wash there? Like, the motivations for all the characters were so vague as well.

 ...

Haley: Raymond was great. He had personality and some good lines. And he felt like RvB. Like, he used his brain and actually got shit done, but he also wasn’t over-powered. He followed a similar character arc to what the Reds and Blues had. He sucks at fighting but he’s efficient and smart in a practical way with his rocket launcher. He does the most and he doesn’t stop being a goofball! Even Zero was focused on stopping him the most at the end. And he didn’t need to do any stupid flips.

 ...

Haley: The borrowed assets annoyed me. It ended up looking stupid, like, the temple felt more like fantasy than science fiction. And nothing like Chorus. And normally, RvB doesn’t have to worry about being cohesive because all of the designs are from Halo so it all makes sense and it’s connected. But this is just so random it feels distracting, I feel like this is a big reason people felt that Zero was so jarring… but on a subconscious level. It just felt off and there was no cohesive design. Also everything looked like it was made for video games and not modified at all for the show.

 ...

Haley: Honestly I was optimistic at first but then I got confused really fast and it kept getting worse because it was so fast. They didn’t explain stuff properly or at all. Like, they made it too big. Should have been smaller. I thought going with the “Starlight Labs is evil and needs to go down” plot would have been A LOT better and would have tied together multiple aspects of the story that the temple plot didn’t.

Ria: If I had the power which I don’t, I dunno, but I if the main point was to introduce new characters, I’d keep them tied to lore and worldbuilding we already know. So we don’t get so confused and it doesn’t feel so disconnected. Like, I’m still in love with the idea that it should have been Carolina on Chorus dealing with these soldiers who have been fighting all their lives and now don’t have to do that anymore. But maybe Chorus still needing an army, and that’s why she is training it. I don’t know, but like, familiar, build on what we know. And then they wouldn’t be superpowered, but like, just competent-ish but normal soldiers and we’d get to know them better, but I just think Zero just wanted them to be these super cool soldiers even better than Carolina so they could pull off all the fight scenes. ‘Cause it’s all Zero has going for it. The fight scenes. It’s its strength and weakness ‘cause they sacrificed everything else to look cool. And it does. But it’s boring and there is nothing else going on.

 ...

Ria: I’m still so annoyed about the temples. Why are they there? Like, on Chorus it was a big thing, also plotwise, but it had lore connected to it and the worldbuilding explained it. So, where are these temples? A different planet, right? Is it the same aliens? Are people just cool with the temples? Why haven’t they been explored before. Chorus made sure to explain all of that.

 ...

Haley: The West and East scene-

Ria: Feast.

Haley: Confused me. ‘cause West didn’t really regret anything. He just said why he did it. And then all of the sudden East forgave him and rejoined the team. It was so weird. He doubled down on the thing she hated him for so much I was like “Wow he’s kinda an asshole” and then all of a sudden she was on his side? What?

 ...

Haley: Zero does its job if you want action and nothing else. And it’s not RvB. Don’t watch it if you like RvB. And I just want to acknowledge that we are nitpicking. Quite a bit. I’ll admit that. But, I wouldn’t nitpick the other RvB seasons the same way because the old RvB never took itself seriously the way Zero did.

Ria: I agree. We are nitpicking. But like, that’s why we have the movie nights.

Haley: But we are also allowed to criticize it. You can do that with any season. And with the other seasons, you could nitpick it and you can find stuff you don’t like, but there are always stuff you do like or that other people like. I just can’t find anything about Zero that I like. Besides Raymond.

Ria: Yeah. Like, I really love 15. And it had so many flaws people pointed out. And when it comes to criticism and Zero, I just don’t see many points about why people like it. They are allowed to do that though. But, like, we could have a movie night where we watch the Chorus seasons and we’d nitpick so much because we both have issues with it, but there is still so much stuff we’d still like.

Haley: I like Raymond though. He’s like Grimmons lovechild.

Ria: No. Fuck you. Don’t put that in my brain.

 ...

Haley: Raymond being in this… I want to say it feels like the Freelancers seasons but if Grif was part of the team or something. But that’s just “Hit and Run”. *laughs*

Ria: NO! That’s cursed. Shut up. Also, the Freelancers were way better written.

Haley: And those seasons made better sense.

Ria: And like, the Freelancer seasons did the thing with change of tone and have these new and super cool characters and fight scenes. But they kept half of the seasons to be around the Reds and Blues so we still had the humor and the dumbasses, and Zero just, it didn’t connect.

 ...

Haley: So, I have some thoughts on Zero.

Ria: I know, you fuck, I had to write them all down by hand.

Haley: I like bad movies, actually, but Zero didn’t stay fun, so no, I didn’t enjoy it.

 ...

Ria: Do you forgive me for making you watch Zero?

Haley: Yeah.

Ria: What should we watch next?

...

Also, Haley dressed up her dog for the event and you all deserve to see her:

[bananonbinary]

oh fuck its a deltarune liveblog post!!!

just gonna put it all in one shot so i dont get spoiled while writing

- aaaaaaa the save file said ‘kris’ again and i didnt realize and just clicked through and now im an ASSHOLE :( sorry kris. i gotta save tho, i will definitely get u killed otherwise.

- hm. interesting that you can’t dick around much on the way to the classroom; i’d have to check but i think in chapter one there was always someone else present to railroad you. does this mean kris is exerting more control?

- god i love this light world->dark world animation, VERY saturday morning cartoon

- ooh Lore(tm)

- oh right, im very bad at bullet hell

- oh....the town is named after my savefile....Don’t Like That. feels like i robbed kris again.

- “you could wear whatever you want” “all sorts of keepsakes could be put here” hmmm feeling some Things about kris’ empty room. also the half-finished look of these rooms feels Important.

- SUSIE MY BELOVED

- the town having no music is creepy as hell

- Sure.

- JESUS the werewires are cool

- i am Suspicious about what these fountains are, and if it’s really a good idea to seal them

- god i love these kids

- also hey! kris posed this time!

- i am very into these rhythm challenges

- people keep commenting on kris having zero inflection. “being possessed 99% of the time” is looking more and more likely.

- “always been annoying how much your hair smells like apples” is this...flirting???

- it means tity

- i don’t have tons to say about the plot cause its like...yep thats standard magical quest shit

- god susie and ralsei’s friendship is so good. ill be so happy if susie becomes a healer

- “you do not do crazy things like ‘have opinions.’ or scream when i capture you.” seriously kris is Not Okay

- i only got 5/6 werewires but im pretty sure im past where you can fight them and its pissing me off

-noelle is adorable

- terrified to find out whatever the fuck roulx has been doing this whole time

-oh shit nvm theres the last werewire

- njadkslfnasjdfnajksdl found the annoying dog. why.

- i’m so fucking lost where am i supposed to go

- is gamer’s delight just a mountain dew pie

- oh my god susie’s heal attack

- NOELLE IS ADORABLE

- video game piano tutoriel fucking got me okay

- okay but if we take this at face value, that’s a LOT of characterization for kris. they like bath bombs (or potentially just making shit they find on pinterest), they actually are a knife nerd, they’re thinking about college, and they are a gamer (which i think we already knew a bit). and i think they probably googled magic immediately after chapter one, which is adorable.

- kris keeping their eyes closed for asriel’s room could just be the game continuing to keep the audience in suspense, but i wonder if in-universe it’s also kris’ choice to keep their brother away from the Player 

- beardly is papyrus if papyrus sucked

- if anything permenant happens to lancer im killing everyone in this dark world and then myself

- wow, backstory! what an asshole

- okay i thought that was basically what was wrong with lancer, but why is ralsei fine then???? how did he even GET to this dark world anyway? i am Suspicious.

- wait shouldn’t rouxls be dying too then?

- how fucking long is this game????

- “it’s nice that you’re you” oh god. oh god.

- OH MY FUCKING GOD

-ah. so roulx IS also dying. ralsei what are your secrets?????

- that’s TWICE now that ralsei, and ONLY ralsei, has been able to change our pov. RALSEI WHAT ARE YOUR SECRETS??????

- BABY LEBSIASN

- ooh Lore(tm) part 2

- mmmm im not sure i trust ralsei. again. the fountains seem....weird. why does he want to close all of them except his? i dont think he’s evil, but. hm. i feel like something else is going on here.

- dsfmlkasdmfkal someone’s gonna notice that we keep stealing shit to put in this one random closet

- you know what here at the end of the game i actually really like queen, she’s a very fun character

- time for the reunion tour!!!

- think i will leave the boss rush challenge for later lmao i did just spend 7 hours on this game

- went to the graveyard. hmmmmmmmmmmm

- okay what the FUCK is up with that door toby. and why arent there any other humans here?? really probably fake game theory: this is the reverse of undertale, and all the humans are locked up underground.

- man we’re gonna fail this group project

- ???????? why can’t kris play piano now?

- oh shit is that shyren’s sister? the one that became an amalgamate in undertale?

- god i missed sans

- JESUS asgore you gotta get your shit together

- don’t you fucking play the “Home” motif at me again i WILL cry

- susie’s “i have to spend time with my friend’s parent” walk is incredible

- aaa kris i’m sorry i keep doing this to you!!! i’m so worried about them where did they go? the thump out the window sounded like it hurt :(

- .....huh. i er, huh.

- what the fuck is this credits music

jesus christ that was 8 straight hours, i might have made mistakes