#dont know who said that sorry guys . weird

[satorisoup]

people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T

tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

am still not fully in the itoshi brother pit but. i feel very strongly that i want to see rin cry + want sae to see me cry ……… is this anything …………….

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[blirpus]

bald guy at work asked me what he should do with his food because "women are usually smarter than men with food related things" ???

[elegyofthemoon]

😊

[gregoftom]

oh they fr had bitchnasty sex after this

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

[cthonicascendant]

ok i cant send asks to all a youse about this so im just makin a psa for my followers

thele5bianpoirot is a radfem please stop puttin her post about stay at home girlfriends on my dash (leavin the quirk on for that one so i dont accidentally summon that person somehow but replace the 5 with an s for the actual username)

i will be happy to try to explain how i knew her views were suspect AFTER my headache is gone but if you dont believe me just check out that persons blog you wont have to scroll far to find proof the very first post when i checked it out was a screed against intersectional feminism so

[toytulini]

idk. picky eater rights. im coming to your events and turning my picky bitch nose up at your fancy ass desserts you spent a bajillion hours working over in the kitchen and asking if i can find like a basic ass brownie with no extra flairs or ingredients or steps or whatever the fuck. cry about it. stop trying to feed me

[muttsona]

can they invent a january that isnt the worst month of my life

[wolfram-but-art]

I love your Polish Spy headcanon so much. There is next to no mutual intelligibility between Polish and Russian, so Heavy would be just as confused as everyone else, but at least it would explain why Spy takes off his shoes indoors or something. Anyway, https://youtu.be/jaMcIbIWt_4 consider this video

BAHAHA I HAVENT SEEN THE PART WHERE HE ASKS WHERE HE WAS BORN THATS SO GOOD,,,, i love that video so much <3

i thought it was funny to include Mundy asking Heavy to translate because Polish is very commonly mistaken for Russian... they're not even that similar...

and YES!!! i didn't even think about the shoes part but that's so true

also Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz is Spy's real name but nobody believes him, so they just pretend/ choose to believe he has no name/ hasn't told them his real name

[rockmonopoly]

Always figuring out what to say in important conversations literally multiple hours after they’ve happened. Like sorry I didn’t contribute at the time. When you asked for help. Now I know what to say but it’s probably too late so I’ll just not say anything. It probably would’ve been awkward either way

[coffee-and-tea-time]

Yandere shop! Choose your yandere!

I was thinking, did you ever listen to yandere asmr videos? If so, you will catch on quickly that this is based on the yandere shop, which was so popular in asmr videos during the pandemia. - coffee

If you didn’t, quick summary Coffee gave me: imagine if there is a place where you can enter and you can ‘buy’ (they pay you since you are going to take care of a serial killer so he don’t kill people while you two got your twisted love) a yandere of your choosing. - tea

Word count: 1.2k but this will be edited to correct misspellings or weird sentence structure later, sorry in advance.

tw: yandere behavior, willing reader, delulu, written in you/yours, reader is a little nervous but really interested, you can choose humans yanderes and non-human (although humanoid) yanderes!

You fix your clothing and take a deep breath, your mind filled with ‘what if..’ yet, you were here, in a place that you didn’t trust was real

A creak takes you out of your thoughts, a smiling man dressed rather formally, greets you cheerfully.

“Sorry to interrupt when you are so absorb in your pretty mind My dear, but you know, a little push may help you”

He said as he extended his hand to you, well, you already made your way here hoping to get a yandere so you gather all your corague as you take the man's hand. He led inside the shop, you can hear the click of the door closing behind you as you follow him.

“Oh, I hope you weren’t thinking of backing up so quickly Dear, want something to drink?”

You gently shake your shake as you sit down in one of the couches, on the inside it looks pretty much like a coffee shop.

“Smart choice but you still seem rather nervous, want to say something before I go ahead and show you the catalog?”

“Well, I wanted to know, what can you do for the yandere you like to like you back? What if the one I choose doesn't like me back?”

Your worries were met with a not-so-subtly laugh from the man which make you kind of annoyed and embarrassed.

“Sorry Dear, I just never thought I ever meet somebody that feel insecure about the love of a yandere”

Now you wanted to punch him, is a normal question to ask! The yandere have their own way to fall in love!

“Let me give you a quick explanation, if they had a darling, both of us know they would be busy stalking them. The yanderes we have don’t have a darling, but are eager for the sense of love on their own way which may not suit everyone so to avoid problems, this shop was put in place as a matchmaker between differents kinds of yanderes and people who enjoy them"

You sight in relief as you nod.

“alright, who is more likely to go even more insane if they don't get a darling soon.."

"Sorry, what did you just say? I couldn't hear you well"

"Oh, nothing Dear, I was just searching for the ones that been waiting the most, is how the list work, I will show you a few options first so you have an idea, you can ask for another kind if you had something else in mind, I'm sure we got something that will suit your taste; Although, do remember that is just one yandere, we had problems with that before"

"How is it that someone got the permission to have more than one? I thought you guys will keep in track that since well, it's dangerous for anyone"

"She didn't have permission but she manage because she stubbornly wanted a yandere harem, the result are expected, averyone in that house died except for one yandere, he is again on the list, and as you can guess, he end up more being more... intense. He is totally your perfect option if you like a very possessive yandere, he's a more serious yandere for that experience"

“That will be dangerous for me too?”

"Dont worry Dear, he is truly desperate for love like the rest, his name is Dizie. But if you rather a more gentle treat, Gabriel is your guy, I don't know much about him since he said that only his darling will get to know everything about him. As far as I know, he's kind of yandere that will kiss the ground were his darling walk, a worshiper you can say, if you like someone looks at you like you are a deity, he's definitely your perfect match"

“Isn’t every yandere a worshiper in their own ways?”

"Well, I guess? Is true that others have another específic ways to worship, look, he's the baker, relishes in your enjoyment of their pastries, a very skilled baker that knows how to include the most unique of ingredients to make the sweetest of treats, dreams of putting his heart and soul in every treat he bakes for his darling, his name is Oliver”

"What kind of ingredients tho?"

“The next one you may like is actually a popular singer, he chooses to keep anonymous unless chosen, but if you want to be a celebrity or date one, he is someone you can guess that will love to spoil their darling, he’s on the talkative side, if you like art or stuff like that, you will enjoy his house. although he babbles a lot of how he wish to hear the voice of his darling obsessively for hours”

The seller seems to dodge your question.

“Ah, of course, we also have some special yanderes if humans are boring or less attractive for you, look, he’s Myotis, the classic vampire, he even has wings! Isn’t it perfect to see the sky closer while you enjoy the company of a yandere that looks like he just came out of a book? If you are also into short kings, you gonna love him without a doubt”

"He's not going to drain me out of blood, is he?"

“Dear, why would a yandere who waits so long for their darling, kill them? But if vampires aren't your type, you could go for a mothman! You will be the light of his life, literally. He’s a big softie and kind of clumsy; he just eagerly waits for the arrival of his daylight. A good choose if you like special clingy yanderes, he is not around humans too much, but he said he wanted to be called Lior if he got chosen. Oh, if you are on the stronger side, you may want to keep your eye on Tarak, he said something about his name meaning something like star and protector I think, I guess he chose the name by himself, he’s a prideful dragon and really loves to talk, honestly, I’m not that intelligent to understand some things that he say, but if you like to know new things by listening, asking or reading, he's your man, you can try trying to teach him something new, I don't think is impossible to archive”

“You know what ag…”

You stopped talking when you catch a security camera in a corner moving around frantically yet appear like not seeing anything?

“Don’t mind him, is just Grier, even though I don’t know if that's his real name, I do know he loves trying to spy here using the security cameras so we end up having to put tape on them when a darling is coming to the shop; as you can guess, he’s a hacker, if you choose him, you will be very well protected and taken cared of since you gonna be being watched even if you think you are alone, if that what you wish for, please do choose him.”

The seller looks at you, waiting for an answer, to choose what kind of yandere you want or ask for a specific type now.

“You don’t really go outside too much, so I don’t think you gonna have problems with any of them”

You act like you didn’t hear his murmur as you look at the papers in your hand of every yandere he just talked about.

If your favorite options lose or you want something specific, just send an ask! We love comments and interactions in general so don't be shy.

seller post

Sneak peek of the first encounters

Grier post

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

images from pinterest ⚘

[secondwhisper]

I don't think this is a reasonable generalization. It's good to know that many conversion processes don't explicitly push students toward zionism, but I think it's more common than you may realize.

My conversion classes were co-taught by the local Hillel rabbi. (Anyone who's spent time in Jewish non- and anti-zionist movements for more than a couple years knows why this is a red flag.) Unfortunately, upon review of my notes from one particularly memorable class a few years ago, I didn't write down most of what she said. She did claim that BDS is inherently antisemitic. And she very explicitly told us that day that all real Jews are Zionists.

My sponsoring rabbi was aware that I am not (and also was not then) Zionist. He warned me before the beit din that I should not share my opinions on medinat yisroel unless explicitly asked. The Hillel rabbi, who was also on my beit din, did ask about how conversion "made me rethink my relationship to the state of israel". My sponsoring rabbi cut my response short - I think he was afraid the Hillel rabbi would not let me move forward to the mikveh if I said anything more than "it's important to know the historical context" and "it's important to be aware of what harms are perpetuated in the name of our supposed safety." (The third rabbi on my beit din did not talk much and I could not read his expressions.)

It was very much an effort of myself and one of the other students in these classes to politely push back against the compulsory Zionism created in that space primarily by the Hillel rabbi, and which was most aggressively enforced by one of the recently-welcomed gerim who just kept attending classes with us all.

---

Conversion does not have a standard curriculum. (Certainly not in liberal strains of Judaism, where I've spent my time and where I have the most friends, but I've never heard of a standard curriculum for Orthodox converts either.) I know (or at least fervently hope) that my experience (wrt pro-israel pressures) was not standard. But it absolutely did exist, and we did have a half dozen converts every year.

Hillel is one of the most prolific Jewish organizations in the US. Hillel is explicitly Zionist. It is hardly any wonder that those taught or sponsored by Hillel-affiliated rabbis would be pushed toward Zionist expressions of modern Jewish life.

Becoming Jewish means being welcomed into a people. There are plenty of Jews in the US (the context I know we're both speaking from) who simply would not welcome a convert who does not materially support the Israeli nation-state project. And if you're not welcomed by your beit din (or if you can't even find a rabbinic sponsor), then you're not welcomed officially; if you're not welcomed officially, your conversion is not finalized.

this is what happens when a reddit atheist automatically switches "jew" to "zionist", either using an algorithm or in their head. statements like this are an admission that "zionist" is being used to mean jewish.

[snekdood]

I accept that ill probably be alone forever. I just wish it wasnt because people were so manipulated by someones fake narrative abt me.

[cloudcountry]

Hi, I was wondering if you could do a Malleus, Jamil, Leona, Vil, and Idia x Fem Reader, where A mix-up with Valentine's Day gifts leads to Reader receiving a gift meant for the character in question, and the confusion might lead to an unexpected confession?

SUMMARY: you get a gift that was meant for the student you like, and the contents spur you to action.

COMMENTS: so usually its them getting jealous of you being courted but i decided hey its YOUR turn to be jealous. good luck!!

im a firm believer that anyone who says getting jealous when youre not dating is weird is the weird one. like obviously you'd be upset, you wanted to be with them and you're not. of course you feel bad. it's okay to feel bad??? like thats literally so normal. you dont have to be like "oh ofc im happy for them!!" like you can BE SAD. its okay.

You stare blankly at the box of chocolate in your hands, the gift crammed into your desk haphazardly. At first, you thought it was for you—that’s what anyone would assume, right? Except...the note on top of it is not addressed to you, but rather, the guy you like. It makes you wonder if this is some joke, or if one of his friends wanted you to deliver it for him. You pick at the heart sticker sealing the note shut and peel it open, taking a peak of the contents.

Your eyes wide and your heart lurches in your chest, panic and annoyance roaring like red hot flames as you read what sounds like a genuine confession of love. Someone had their eyes on him? How did you never notice?

Was it weird to get jealous? I mean, he’s not even dating you yet...you don’t even know if he feels the same way. You can’t deny it doesn’t feel good that there’s another student trying to woo him, though. You’ve been so scared up until this point, so nervous about what he might think, but the clock is ticking. You’ve got to tell him before it’s too late.

Leona cracks open a single eye when you softly knock on his door and enter, shutting the door behind you. With the look on your face, you’ve got something very serious to tell him.

“Woah there, herbivore. You look like someone died.” he yawns, flopping on his side as his tail flicks lazily behind him, “What’s got your face all twisted up?”

His eyes dart to the heart shaped box in your hand and his ears twitch. You look apprehensive—his smirk only grows when he realizes you’ve brought him an offering. How sweet.

“I like you. Romantically.” you blurt.

The second you say it you think about how many other ways you could have said that exact thing and sounded way smoother.

“Yeah, I figured as much. So you came to confess? I feel the same.” Leona yawns again, feeling a bit mischievous as he turns him back on you and yanks the covers over his head, “Well, goodnight then.”

“What...What the fuck, Leona?” you sputter, and he starts laughing harder than he’s ever laughed before.

Jamil wasn’t expecting to receive anything today. You can tell he wasn’t, because the second you walk into Scarabia his eyes go wide when he sees the chocolates and note. You don’t hand it to him though, and that makes him pause.

“Did something happen?” he asks softly, searching your face for an answer as you stare him down.

“I like you.” you blurt, and Jamil’s ears start to ring.

I like you...?

“What?” he clears his throat, shifting on his feet, “Sorry, did I hear you right?”

“Yeah. Yeah you did.” you reply immediately, as if there’s no room for doubt whatsoever.

“Oh.” he says, thinking a million thoughts at once and simultaneously nothing at all.

“Well? How do you feel about me?” you ask, and your voice shakes like you’re scared.

Jamil doesn’t know why you believe there’s room for doubt.

“I feel the same.”

And he smiles.

It's obvious that his words are awkward and reserved, but you know he doesn’t mean it in a bad way.

Vil’s pretty brow furrows in concern when he sees how upset you look, your whole body wound tight like you’ve never been so tormented in your life. You poor thing...you look so stressed out. He whisks you into his arms and into his room, where he sits you in front of his vanity and insists you tell him what’s wrong.

“These were on my desk.” you tell him, handing him the gift, “I can’t stand the thought of someone else confessing to you first. I wanted to tell you before it was too late.”

Vil reads the note in silence. He admits it's sweet, but it reads more like fanmail than an actual confession. He places it on the vanity and looks back at you, a tender look in his eyes.

“My dove...I love how bold you are.” he takes your hands in his, and goosebumps shoot up your arms at his gentle, perfect touch, “But you had nothing to worry about. I am yours.”

“I’m sorry, what!? Some extroverted rando wanted to confess their feelings to me!?” Idia shrieks, face twisting into a confused scowl, “Is that some kind of joke?”

You furrow your brow, a scowl of your own on your face as he jumps to the conclusion that it’s a joke.

“You’re really attractive Idia, you know that right? You’re handsome and smart and kind too!” you snap, feeling personally insulted by his assumption, “Don’t assume it’s a joke! I’m taking this very seriously!”

You toss the chocolates on his bed and hand him the note, crossing your arms over your chest. Idia reads through it but he doesn’t seem happy, his scowl planted firmly on his face.

“I don’t believe it.” he huffs, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, the note crushed in his fist, “Someone’s planning a prank on me.”

“Idia Shroud!” you kneel in front of him, placing your hands on his.

You don’t miss the way his hair flares pink.

“I’ll let you know that I like you very much! And I’m not joking with you one bit! I have never been more serious in my life!” you huff, squeezing his hands as you stare straight into his eyes, “So stop acting like anyone who loves you is foolish!”

Idia opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, the pink flames creeping up into the roots of his hair.

That’s enough of an answer for today.

“Child of Man...you mean another confessed their affections for me?” Malleus grumbles.

He’d looked so excited when you walked in with a gift in your arms, but the second he learned it wasn’t from you his eyes narrowed and his lips pulled into a pout. Was it raining outside now...?

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean. But...if I’m being honest, I don’t like it.” you huff, placing the gift on his desk, “I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours in return. Someone else having you doesn’t sit right with me.”

Oh, suddenly it’s sunny out. Huh. Wonder why that happened.

You slowly turn to look at Malleus.

 Sure enough, his lips are pulled into a bright smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he reaches for you.

“I’d be your everything if you’d let me” he croons, tucking you into his chest.

TAGLISTS -> leona's napping buddies . . . @loser-jpg @vivigoesinsane @dove-da-birb

-> jamil's jewels . . . @vivigoesinsane @identity-theft-101 @dove-da-birb

-> vil's spudlings . . . @cookiesandbiscuits @vivigoesinsane @dove-da-birb

-> idia's player twos . . . @vivigoesinsane @identity-theft-101 @dove-da-birb

-> malleus's most trusted . . . @vivigoesinsane @identity-theft-101 @rosalianel @dove-da-birb