#dont know how the fuck that ones fine when everything else isnt tbh

[memorycycle]

post for @wuggen asked to see the code i wrote for simulating a realistic car engine so here

its built in godot btw

the script extends rigidbody3d cus im actually just moving an invisible sphere along the ground with a car basically stapled to it

did you know car engines put out different levels of torque at different rpms which affects like basically everything about the car. the torque curves are actually way more complicated than this, they kind of look like ramps with a hump in the middle followed by a dip followed by a bigger hump. but im just doing something that looks more like a perfect mound here. it works fine

i found the equation power=torque*rpm/9549.3 online from a forum where some guy posted the results of a dyno run on his porsche. the number 9549.3 is definitely specific to that porsche, so its probably a variable id want to be able to change later i guess

theres 2 big scary chunks of code here written by someone else which youre looking at in the pic above. i dont know shit about rotating and transforming 3d shapes so yea thanks guy on youtube

^this is basic shit but let me say one thing having the layout of accelerating with up on the right stick and braking with down on the right stick makes racing games so much more intuitive to play because suddenly it all just becomes one button that like the player understands in their mind as just "movement" and say for example when the player is coming up on a turn and they point both the steering and throttle joystick towards the turn whats happening is that they steer towards the turn of course but also they decelerate because the right stick is no longer pointed fully up in the Y direction, its Y value is now something like 0.7 instead of 1.0 because of the angle the stick is pointed in, that extra 0.3 went to the X direction , meaning the player automatically decelerates the car based on the angle of the turn without even having to think about it. if the turn starts to become more hairpin the angle is so great that the Y starts becoming negative and now braking is happening instead of acceleration automatically. its actually beautiful how simple and effective it is

^heres my cool function that does basically everyuthing related to the rpm. different gears rise and fall at different rpm speeds and it even simulates the effect of engine braking caused by releasing the throttle when shifting gears. it has so many fucking magic numbers from me just fiddling with it for like years trying to get the acceleration and shit to feel just right

^this ones mad complicated i commented every line

awesome gear shifting stuff its so fucking yummy because if u look closely in the video at the top u will notice i never use the brake to slow down. i downshift gears which causes causes the car to lose speed because the power it was giving out is less efficient now due to the lower gear ratio which also means the rpm jumps up to redline speeds which lets me instantly shift back up to retain some acceleration i cant tell u how satisfying it is to drive this thing and it feels like a real car

^and thats it thats the last function. 212 lines of code honestly pretty small tbh. theres still stuff missing like for example when a car is turning the rpm starts increasing at a slower rate due to things like centripetal force traction rolling resistance weight transfer weight load engine load steering angle friction but im probably just gonna end up calculating it only based on velocity * steering angle or something lol. if anyone made it this far i contratutle you i dont think anyone who isnt as obsessed as i am with this stuff could ever read this whole thing so thank u

[magnoliamyrrh]

. ive got such a long list of reasons to be bitter and fed up and angry. i have so much pain within me. sometimes i feel like pain, deep, deep, sorrowful pain, mourning, grief, anger, a desperate need to stop feeling suffocated is what i know best. and u know as much as i think all thats justified and as much as i think my anger is important for my sanity , and as much as tbh i like by this point to an extent that my over it little tolerance for bullshit angry kinda agressive vibe is a part of my personality - that my bitterness is earned and aged like fine win. but idk, i have tired to rein it in these last months progressively bc it was consuming me and my nervous system literally couldnt handle it

but. something i still havent figured out how to deal w is my very, very, very bad case of survivors guilt. maybe its gotten a bit better but that makes me feel guilty too. it always does. i try not to let it haunt me but It Always done it haunts me that its somehow not supposed to consume and haunt me

. after everything my own pain and trauma is not what fucks me up the most. its always that its not over for so many others. for so many others its not over, its never over, theyre going through it rn, many worse than anything i ever went through. many that wont make it out alive

.

my best friend says its not my responsibility especially with my crippled health and the little of my fragile sanity to try to do something about it. that spending years trying to do something about sex trafficking or whatever else would break me, eat me up inside, that people who aint traumatized end up killing themselves or alchoholics, shells from what they've seen, so what would it do to me? he says. ive earned my rest, ive earned looking away, ive earned my peace

...

but what does that matter? what it would do to me? he says he doesnt understand why i spend so much time writing and speaking on this shit. at first it was to understand myself. now it is the horror that it is so much more horrible and bad and keeps going, its not me. its others. i always have felt more impacted by seeing others in pain than myself. i never can stand seeing my pain on someone else.

he says he doesnt understand why i look. he says he doesnt understand why i think. he says he doesnt understand why i study. doesnt understand why i want to do something about it when its so horrible

........

but ive been.... lucky. not so but lucky. lucky enouth to live. to get out. to get my "freedom."

but what does "my" individual freedom mean? when others dont have it? what does it matter?....... what does it matter?

it feels like my trauma isnt over through them. its not. im just one person, but for so many its not over. it wont be over. they may never see over until their graves.... time is a flat circle and all

...

and i think, how many? how many? and i think too.... in the history of the balkans, of my people, my women and little girls... how many? for how long?

how many today? everywhere?

how am i supposed to rest easy. how am i supposed to live my life ignoring it

why shouldn't i burn myself out. i already am. why shouldnt i take on the trauma of getting back into it for the sake of others

.

what does my freedom mean without theirs?

.

their screams echo through my head. they were my own once. i have stopped screaming

they have not

[effervescentdragon]

Re your interviewers not even sure what to ask anymore ask, that’s me but with the fandom lol. I’m literally this close to just starting to translate all of Toto’s German interviews just to feel like there is Any reason for me to still be here doing Stuff in this fandom, like what am I doing, exactly? Make predictable guesses as to who’s gonna win, only get surprised by DNFs and engine failures and battling in the mid-field, have my grandpa tell me ‘the races have really been going downhill’ and log off??

i posted sth about jude bellinghams dick game on insta on main yday and og bff asked me what im compensating for w footie posting and should he be worried abt my mental state and i said f1, because im just not incentivised to watch it anymore at the moment? im hoping it changes when races stop being so early - i am sad i missed nico's commentary the most tbh. i guess fandoms come and go and things get more and less interesting but the thing for me is - if im not enjoying it, i won't make myself watch/read/do it just because i've made it my Thing. i can have many Things. we all can. i think, when something doesn't bring joy, its good to step back. give yourself time. f1 will be there. 🫂

i also think there is this insidious thing that you have to be "productive" in a fandom, that you have to do, be doing something to justify your presence in it. i know i've felt off because im not churning out 10 ficlets a day anymore, but the fact is - you don't have to DO anything to BE in the fandom (this feels like some metaphor for life but i only took one sip of coffee today so far). fandom is about enjoyment, yohr enjoyment and sharing that enjoyment with people who also love a certain piece of media or whatever. this capitalist bullshit of treating a fandom space like it's a job (what am i contributing? have i met my quota of posting about my blorbo today? how many followers do i have?) like... who the fuck cares. i still count myself into the silm fandom and i havent posted about it in ages. doctor who, star trek, hell, fucking x men and cap america and hannibal and so many things. i am still a fan of so many things that bring me enjoyment. thats why im a fan in a fandom.

i guess what i'm teying to say is that its really hard sometimes, when you lose interest or get disheartened by someting thats brought you joy before. when you feel like you're "failing" at liking something. but i try to remember - im a person, i have interests, interests change. a thing i loved isnt that anymore. okay. not okay, but it's fine. you may find joy again, you may surorise yourself, or you may just drift to something else. you're no less you, and no less a fan, if your intensity isn't the same now as it was yesterday or a decade ago. and with f1... its changing so much that its honestly pretty understandable to feel that way. bff stopped watching during the seb era, came back when it looked like seb might win w ferrari, then skipped the whole lewis era. og bff skipped merc domination era completely. my cousins husband stopped watching the moment alonso won. ive had friends stop watching the moment max won. it happens.

what im saying, too fucking long and winded bcs apparently im in a mood today - dont force yourself into something that doesnt bring you joy. theres so much joy to be found in this world deapite everything, and you're no less you for losing an interest in a fandom.

[boypussydilf]

[runnning in] relationships askgame. tell me about. kururu and saburo. thats the white haired kids name right

YEAAAAAAH IT IS. SABURO. sabOwO. sabUwU. his name is different in the anime vs the manga i call him saburo bc thats his anime name so itswhat im used to but in the manga hes mutsumi… i think he changed it he runs a radio show and in the anime they changed it so that it’s a SECRET that he runs it and in both the name he uses for the radio show is 623 which is a pun on. mutsumi. bc sgt frog fucking ADORES giving the characters pun codenames & plays on possible pronunciations of numbers that also sound like their names. so if it was a secret that he was running th radio show his actual name couldn’t sound exactly the same as his radio show host name. so the anime named him saburo. but like. why change that at all. anyway! ah i didn’t really think this would get very long but uh. readmore time

describe their canon relationship/dynamic

WE DONT REALLY… GET TO SEE THEM ACTUALLY INTERACT ALL THAT MUCH… saburo exists so that in his introduction scene yoshizaki can have his little evangelion reference and then after that saburo just. exists. like hes interesting but no one gets to talk about it because he almost never shows up. they damned him to the box. they put him in a storage closet. Anyway the good thing is when kururu and saburo DO interact its almost always like. Stellar. 10/10. Incredible moment. It’s usually either “one of them asks the other for technical help with something and the other one goes ‘sure that sounds interesting lol’”, or kururu sending saburo a text that goes “I’m not even IN any danger so don’t even bother trying to help me tbh, like what could you even DO, everything is fine, here are my exact coordinates btw” and saburo goes to help him, or both of them like, sitting in a tree going “Those losers are pretty excited about cherry blossoms huh? Well they are kind of pretty sometimes, I guess”.

Saburo is a fair bit more Openly Nice than Kururu but they are still both like, always running a program of “act Distant and Disaffected and Cool and Like You Don’t Really Care About Anything Unless It’s Funny”, but where it would read as being rude to anyone else interacting with them, they fundamentally GET each other, so when they’re having very brief interactions with each other where they’re just asking for favors or talking like nothing really matters and they’re only here because they didn’t happen to have anything better to do, they both see it for what it is and read it for gestures of kindness and friendship and so they endure despite their lack of open and honest communication. The ultimate point of their dynamic as laid out in canon is “they Get Each Other, in a way absolutely no one else does”.

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?

You know… again… I don’t think there’s any way to improve on this. I don’t think any concept of Them in my mind has really drifted from or made new additions to how it’s portrayed in canon. I can’t even say that I think they should hang out more, because the POINT is they’re both not very social and spend a lot of time alone, they give each other space out of RESPECT and UNDERSTANDING.

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?

what about that ISNT interesting and so much fun. Just fundamentally the whole concept is. GREAT. I love you, Wave Buddies, whatever the fuck that means. ok im pretty sure itsjust short for wavelength as in on the same wavelength but itsreally funny how the first version of relationship chart in the manga. in english anyway. just calls them Wave Buddies with no context. Anyway their dynamic is absolutely BALLER. more characters should be doing whatever this is.

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?

THIS IS WHERE I WISH WE KNEW MORE ABOUT EITHER SABURO OR KURURUS LIVES BEFORE THE SERIES!!!!!!!!! I really should read that manga chapter about how saburo was RAISED BY ALIENS but it hasn’t been translated and I don’t know how much context it would give on like… The point is like. With Giroro Keroro & Dororo we know a LOT about their childhoods and other parts of their lives before the start of the series, so we have plenty of information & context that helps to inform Who They Are and Things They Might Be Thinking and Possible Reasons They Make The Choices They Do. But we know next to nothing about Tamama and Kururu’s lives before the series, so we only have TINY bits of context, so most things you can come up with as “stuff that might be going on in their minds” or “possible larger-scale reasons for their actions” are just like, uh. SPECULATION thats the word. Same with the humans. We know many details of Fuyuki, Natsumi, & Momoka’s lives, so we know who they are on a large scale informed by their earlier childhoods and environment, and we KIND of know stuff about Koyuki’s life, but. What we know about Saburo’s life before the series is: he was raised by aliens until he was like 9, apparently. he started a radio show at one point. this concludes what we know about saburos life. The point is we don’t have the same Canon Indicators for what they think of each other the way we do with some other characters - like, Fuyuki has always been obsessed with aliens, of course Keroro is special to him, or, it makes sense for Dororo to be extra special to Koyuki because he’s the only thing in her life that’s the same after leaving her home.

But of course I guess we’re not that COMPLETELY barren of information. For one thing it’s pretty clearly shown several times that like. Kururu doesn’t actually like Being Disliked or having people say mean things about him. He’s dedicated to upholding his precious reputation of a Rude, Weird, and Dislikable Guy anyway, but he … doesn’t… he doesn’t want people to actually dislike him. He doesn’t like it. Saburo DOESN’T misunderstand him, and DOESN’T dislike him, Saburo thinks he’s COOL and INTERESTING. Saburo is IMPORTANT.

More than that we also have the manga chapter & anime episode that flashback to their original meeting, of which the central point is, they became friends because they found each other interesting. like it goes like this: the whole platoon got separated and got lost right after coming to earth, so kururu goes whatever i can invade by myself anyway, starts looking for high schoolers he can turn into his army but then Saburo Can See Him. Saburo Can See Him Through The Barrier That Only Aliens And People Who Already Know About The Existence Of Aliens Can See. And Kururu goes what the FUCK and then they have a big chase & dramatic anime fight through the whole school and in the ANIME. in the ANIME events lead to a Big Fucking Monster incident and then kururu is in danger by a Big Fucking Monster and saburo saves him and that’s part of why they become friends,. But in the MANGA that doesn’t happen.

In the manga Saburo is just a cocky smug little bitch even though he’s one random teenager fighting an alien with tons of weapons technology and training who he clearly has absolutely 0 chance of not DYING against and kururus like “Why the fuck are you being like this? You realize you’re definitely gonna die?” and saburo says something that in both the english translation and in the original japanese i dont… i dont have a fucking clue what hes getting at or trying to say? But whatever hes getting at kururus like “ok yknow what fine <3 ill stop trying to kill you lets help each other out instead”. And also in that chapter there’s a scene where they both think “he seems interesting” at each other and another point where saburo thinks kururu is gonna erase HIS memories along with the memories of everyone else who saw Saburo Destroying The School While Fighting Something Invisible and hes like NO THIS CANT HAPPEN WHEN IVE FINALLY MET SOMEONE INTERESTING so . Their deal is that they find each other interesting I guess.

favorite interaction they have in canon

oh my god i thought of a really good one earlier but looking thru the flashback chapter to their meeting totally threw it out of my brain. uhhh RIGHT RIGHT. in the anime its a secret that saburo is the one running the 623 radio show but its NOT a secret to kururu, and there’s an episode towards the end where saburo quits running it like Under A Manager, bc hes sick of people trying to push him to show his face in public and his like producers are trying to set up Face Reveal Events, and he ends up running the radio show Independently instead and kururu helps him by making an Invisible Flying Recording Booth for him to use and being the only other person involved in making the show.

Also all of episode 229b. obviously. you know how it is when your best friend is trying to sacrifice himself to save the world and you realize YOURE the one who made it possible for him to do that in the first place by giving him a pen of Make Anything You Draw Real that he can use as a weapon and if you dont fucking hurry hes going to DIE TONIGHT so you drop everything to work for hours straight and then go save him at the literal last second and then you have an interaction tbats just like “you know you could’ve died :/“ “yeah so lol. ok fine Thanks” bc both of you are insane

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in

I get why they don’t live together & kururu lives in his lab instead, bc, you know, the whole loners who respect each others space thing, but like, it would be funny for kururu to live in saburos shitty little high schooler apartment or wherever he lives. Actually like. He probably DID for a while. In between allying with saburo & when he reunited with keroro and built the secret base. He had to at least be in easy CONTACT w saburo that whole time and like. I doubt he was living in the bushes. I can picture it now, the like, couple months of kururu living in this random kids apartment and definitely mercilessly insulting earth technology and probably upgrading random shit for lols so that saburo now has like, the most insane faucet in the world or whatever, and saburos just like whatever thats cool lol, want to watch bargain bin dvds with me.

[inutaffy]

🧍🧍🧍

im not sorry. im pulling up a chair and you will be stuck here for a millennia

SO. NUMBER 1. “do you know why you’re leader of this team?” “well uh yeah. bc i asked to be? u said it wasnt bc of my skills.” THIS RIGHT THE FUCK HERE. OKAY. BITCH.

LEO ALREADY HAD SO MANY DOUBTS ABT BEING LEADER MAN ITS AWFUL. LIKE. FUCK. and this isnt to say that leo is like confident in his abilities bc HE IS. HE REALLY IS HE KNOWS HE’S GOOD WHEN HE NEEDS TO BE but like that doesn’t immediately get rid of the feelings of inadequacy, ESPECIALLY after he got beat down by shredder in s2 and the earth got destroyed in s3

to him, he’s just leader bc he asked to be, nothing special abt it. its not bc he’s the smartest or the strongest or fastest. he just asked and splinter said lmao sure why not (LISTEN I KNOW THAT THAT WASNT REALLY SPLINTERS REASONING. leo was always gonna end up as leader bc he IS GOOD AT IT. he knows how to lead n he’s inspiring or whatever but he doesnt say this to leo until later) so to him there’s NOTHING STOPPING HIM FROM BEING REPLACED IF BE SCREWS UP ONE TO MANY TIMES. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? IT LITERALLY MAKES EVERYTHING MAKE SENSE. like the shift in how he views leadership after s1. how he CONSTANTLY sacrifices himself for the cause bc WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THINGS SPIRAL OUT OF HIS CONTROL?? just. dude. i fucking hate this. he sacrifices himself at any minor inconvenience (not really but 😐) and i hate that it makes since. he is only leader bc he asked, there isnt some special skill keeping him in this position (THERE IS. the others would be soo screwed if he wasnt leader. they’d make it obviously but DAMN) so he’s easily replaceable, and if something goes wrong to the point where he needs to REALLY get his shit together and DO SOMETHING TO FIX IT, HE SACRIFICES HIMSELF. BC WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO. he does it when they had to destroy the technodrome, he does it when he goes to fight shredder alone, he does it when they needed to get that black hole generator piece from that one lady, and he does it when trying to destroy the triceraton mothership. its the worst thing in the whole fucking world

number 2. “i knew that one day you would grow up to be the leader of this team, and when I pass on to be like a father as well.” OUGH. this hurts me so much. this is damn near the center of a good chunk of raph and leo’s fighting. not ALL of it obviously bc they’ve got their own stuff to work out but this definitely plays a part bc above all he wants leo to be HIS BROTHER. not his dad. NEVER HIS DAD. leo IS NOT their fucking dad and when he tries to act all high and mighty it IRRITATES HIM. WHICH IS SO VALID BC WHY ARE YOU THE WAY THAT YOU ARE. STOP. SERIOUSLY. WHO ARE YOU. yk? like fuck. he doesnt want leo to parent them dammit. imagine your dad dies or something and then your older brother is trying to fill that gap instead of taking time to GREIVE

AND TBH. I DONT THINK SPLINTER MEANT IT LIKE THAT EITHER. splinter probably meant this in a “when i die i trust you to take care of this family and be there for each other and support each other” way. not in a SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS WHO LOVES HER KIDS WND NEVER STOPS WITH GETNLE HANDS AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTER IM A SURVIVOR kinda way

this gets lost in translation tho bc leo totally takes this and runs in the opposite ducking direction for a while which just

NUMBER 3. AND THEN WHEN SPLINTER OFFERS HIM SOME ADVICE/WISDOM LEO JUST. HE CLOSES HIS EYES AND SHAKES HIS HEAD AND TELLS HIM THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE. YOU ARE FINE. BC HE NEEDS THIS TO BE TRUE LIKE. ISNT THAT JUST AWFUL? you watch your dad get killed in front of you, then you go back in time and save him, only for him TO STILL DIE. that is AWFUL MAN.

“i dont get it, you’re fine father. is there something your not telling me?”

I HATE EVERYTHING. leo is dodging EVERY hint that his dad could die soon, he refuses to even entertain the idea. like at all. and its so fuckinf sad bc he is clinging to this hope that no matter what everything will work out fine just like it did before, they’re going to come out on the other side bruised but whole, and it HURTS bc that is not what happens at all. splinter is still killed right in front of them and they carry his body away and bury him and that’s it. that’s fucking it and it’s TERRIBLE.

and its not just awful bc of that its awful bc splinter is trying so hard to prepare them for this, he knows he died once, and has come close numerous times, so its gotta stick eventually right? so the least he can do is make sure his family isnt without closure yk? he can make it so that he torn from them without any warning or goodbye, without something to remember him by, so he goes and he has a moment with each of them in this season before he gets killed and it hurts me so much bc he’s trying to gently prepare them and its just. ough. OUGH. can we just take these mfckers out of situations ffs

NUMBER 4. THIS SHIT.

HIS FUCKING FACE???? AS THEH WALK AWAY???????? KILL ME NOW PLEASE???????? he literally just wants his family to be ok and theh ARENT and it hurts me so. his brothers and dad look so fucking happy too but just. OUGH. the HORRORS man the horrors are coming

anyways. timestamp 3:25am. this is just my rambling from the first few minutes and these are all the scenes from the clip i tagged u in. we haven’t even gotten to splinters death or what leads up to it yet, things are deceptively calm rn and im so scared

GO TO BED

[briankang]

i mean using jae isnt a great thing because he did fucked up continously in the twitch app (the j thing being the last drop to a lot of mydays) and yes it is kinda of fucked up but it is to protect him because the whole ive thing and how stray reacted to it too just fucked him up also like they schedule has been f up he could use this time to rest, is it ideal? no but like jyp this time is actually making him take a step back before something bigger happes (as it did w jae tbh w his whole i dont drink thing and fucked up being sober)

ok lemme. clarify. when studio j stopped making jae stream back in the day, it was really only for that one thing, and possibly some other v small things they didn't like. the jaime thing and his comments about sana on that podcast and everything else weird he was doing and everything didn't happen until much closer to when he left the company entirely/actually did leave, which is why he was being such a piece of shit LMFAO. like there'd really not been much of a problem up until then, and tbh, i've seen a handful of his streams from before he left, and they're perfectly fine! jae had a lot more issues going on than twitch streaming and tbh i'm really not here to talk about him, but like. i'm not here to villainize him over smth like this lmfao, esp when he's doing a lot better now

it's moreso frustrating to me that when we were told chans room was stopping, it was meant to be a break bc of their busy schedule (and who knows, maybe it started that way), but not because the company said to stop, and we'd been opperating on that it'd be coming back idk at least sometime this year. chan's room works a LOT differently and has a much different place in stays lives than i think people realize, so to have that pulled and to hear about it through a fucking fan question IS stupid.

we can argue about this all day but i think the company getting involved in fanwars IS stupid, that shit happens all the time on twitter, and tbh would've died out within a couple days. i think it's kinda fucking funny that a vague, non directed comment was taken personally by a fandom, one that wasn't really even that harsh, and was turned into literal death threats and some of the most evil, vile shit i'd read, which is what chan ALWAYS gets from other fandoms. he can be so kind and compassionate and say the best things about ANYONE but the second he says smth NON DIRECTED about his own feelings (which he blamed himself for during that live, i think people forget that. he thought it was a HIM problem. he didn't even BLAME THE JUNIORS HE WAS TALKING ABOUT) he's devil incarnate. but trust that when they need some defense they'll pull out a clip of him praising their faves. fuck off with that shit LMFAO

[toutallyahoe]

Dear, you need to stop exposing yourself. How am I supposed to friendly bully you if you keep doing it to yourself? =P

jk, love you. Anyway, cause I have actually seen a RE2 playthrough and remember like maybe 5% of it, please do give me your nsfw thoughts on Leon.

pairing(s): leon kennedy x male reader

warnings: cursing, nsfw content ahead

a/n: cn, daeling, i literally am trying but unfortunately i have half a braincell and asdagjsjdkfjdjdfafa *sobs* 😭😭😭

but anyways, i think someone asked for my hcs on leon's kinks awhile ago but imma just compile it here like i did with ethan's as well 😌😌😌

also, i still havent finished re2 yet so adsgjskdkdksldkjfksjdjf

leon is affection starve (whether he admits it or not)

and that he has a bit of an abandonment issues

but anyways—

leon is affection starve. period.

he didnt knew it at first until you came along and made him feel love and adored for the first time in his life

this leads to him wanting more physical contact while having sex

as well as him having a praise kink

call him handsome, pretty boy or your baby boy and this man will go soft

just praise him please

or have your hands roam and touch his entire body while whispering praises on his skin

but back to the physical thing

leon needs to have your hands either hold his hips in place when you pound into him

press yourself close to him and remind him that you are right beside him please

leon adores getting praises as he gets fucked

mate pressing is definitely his favorite position btw

he just wants you close

leon is also very much into biting, not from zombies or anything, but he wants to be marked by yours

mark him as yours that when he wakes up in the morning and see the hickeys and bites you left on his skin

it makes leon smile and reminded what happened with the both of you the night before

leon loves you so much and will sacrifice everything for you

which is very sweet of him really

but anyways, more nsfw!!!

welcome home sex is a must due to leon not liking on leaving you alone

especially if leon comes home from a very long job and just wants to forget everything in the world besides you and fucking him hard

you both also mostly have sex either into the living room wall or floor because neither of you couldnt even wait to go to the bedroom

welcome home sex is much more desperate and passionate sex than the usual soft ones you guys do and it mostly a bit more kinkier as well

when you do managed to get into the bedroom though, its really just the same as you fuck him to the floor but at least its soft to slam him there lmao

anyways, teasing leon is fine

he is a bit into foreplay but just dont make it too long or else he'll go power bottom on you even if he is tired af and his body is begging for him to rest

but teasing, yes

teasing and commenting on leon for probably touching himself while he was away with the thought of you fucking him isnt really anything new to you both

leon wouldnt actually masturbate on a mission but he sometimes thinks about it and really tempted since he gets hot and bothered by thinking about you being there and help him blow off some steam

unfortunately for leon, you arent so reasons why the welcome sex is a must

you gotta make up for being too damn sexy to almost make him touch himself in a life or death mission you know!

also just edge leon's pretty ass that has him begging for you to let him cum and fill him up to the brim and make him reminded that he got fucked good please

leon wants to be filled by you and fuck him good that he'll remember it until he goes back for another mission

youre his fuel basically lmao

also, choking

just choking yall

leon gets off to you choking when you both get kinky

which isnt that rare tbh since most soft vanilla you guys do almost always ends with some nice spice added in the mix

anyways, leon loves the way your hands wrapped around his neck and occasionally squeeze to let him know youre in control

he just loves being breathless by you fucking him basically makes him turn on more

he is really into that

god, please choke him while praising how much of a good boy he is

in the end really, leon is just very happy to come back every mission with you welcoming him lovingly with a smile on your lips

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[rivetgoth]

trip report from last night did a new drug for tha first time ✌

omfg i tried molly 4 the first time last night and it was a mess. i kno molly isnt really a consistent single type of drug so idk wtf i got but like, it was from a batch a lot ov people i know had already taken and had good reports, so idk. anyway i took it like an hr before we left for the club hoping it would hit shortly after i was there and instead like, 2 hours in i was feeling basically nothing but a little antsy, a little anxious, sorta in my own head, nothing much else though. so i had a drink (just 1 !! being responsible with the molly/alcohol overlap i promise) to calm my nerves and was feeling better but mostly just normal buzzed at the club... we danced a little but the music was NOT that good and the dancefloor was NOT popping, it was empty as fuck tbh. then a big group of friends got there and literally two and a half hours after taking the pill... it HIT out of NOWHERE as i was trying to say hi to them, my heart started slamming in my chest and i felt so delirious, i felt like i was going to die tbh and i KNOW drugs enough to know that im not, literally like a bunch other ppl i know have taken this batch of pills they are safe and it was just me freaking out but my heart felt out of control, angel was reassuring me that my heartbeat sounded fine but i was panicking like when i took too many edibles or shrooms lol 😭 so i was having this stupid panic attack in slow motion at the club while trying to act normal enough to socialize...

everything just felt really chaotic and too much. like the music wasnt good but it was so damn loud, i didnt know anybody except my immediate friend circle and it felt simultaneously too crowded and surrounded but also like there was nothing to do, nobody was being super sociable there, i just felt so insane i felt so out of control i wanted to keep moving but i also wanted to lie down and i couldnt talk or communicate well with people, me and angel went to the bathroom so i could try to calm down and i just kept repeating that i felt like i was going crazy........ finally i just told her i wanted to go because i couldnt handle it, it was just too much, i was getting paranoid during every conversation and i just wanted to sit down somewhere... the bouncers were being really really rude about ins and outs and kept demanding to know why we were leaving and what we wanted from the car, as if thats any of their business when we paid the fucking 25 dollar cover fee and were on the guest list loll stupid. we sat in the car and one of my bffs came out to chat with us for awhile, the bouncers gave him a little less shit because he explained he was coming out to check on us haha. it was so nice after that, just chilling in the car and talking. me and angel decided to go home early after that, it wasnt even midnight yet i dont think, we drove around and listened to music and it was sooo nice, i felt so much more in control and just felt so elated and euphoric... listening to skuppy and ministry and thrill kill kult and iamx and tr/st and male tears etc etc. once i was out of the club and in the car and then in my house with speakers on listening to music it felt amazing, totally euphoric like similar to the times ive taken fucking.. prescription opioids and shit, like wow, but my god @ how bad that shit hit at the club, one of the scarier drug experiences of my life initially 😭 such is the life of a goth club kid in his 20s ig lmaooo. the club was wack honestly it was wayyyyy too expensive, 25 cover fee plus 25 for each drink plus 8 dollars for water plus rude bouncers empty dance floors and boring music. waste of time but at least i got that experience outta the way, it was really fun to experience in hindsight. fear and loathing in los angeles.

[gayspock]

okay tldr im just kinda ... eye twitch at that whole parter LOL

like ehrhgh. SO preface: i think its always the case with "cliff hangers" wherein the reason why they fall flat so often is, like, if the actual cliffhanger itself is so... perfunctory. like they just do it because they felt like they had to leave us hanging on some tense situation - but the thing is, like? you dont NEED to orchestrate that, man; you already had our attention. so its so stupid then if like... they just resolve the situation in 0.2 seconds in the next episode. but its like yknow... its sth a lot of shows do unncessarily and ultimately if it is just a really weird blip when transitioning between eps its like. whatever.

BUT thats all to say... the end of s3 COULD have been a good use of a cliffhanger, yeah? because it's establishing, like, a pretty specific situation with longer lasting consequences than just saving someone from immediate danger in the first scene. but then they FUMBLEDDD ti like...

ough you set up sth genuinely kinda neat. i dont know why they walked it back so fast AND also made the things they did right less effective. like they open up s4 with john sooo alone and its genuinelykinda tragic but then by the end of the ep chiana's already back and its like so what... and then they all IMMEDIATELY reconnect next ep and its like- they dont even really get a proper freaking reaction, when its implied john's been out there alone for god knows how long on a dying ship like... its like nothing happened and

its like. i just feel like if ur not going to utilise the situations you construct - bc this is fiction, and you do construct the situations - why.... construct them? bc if you were gonna reunite everyone with so few consequences, we could have instead spent more time where it was worth instead. but no... and tbh that makes the cliffhanger thing even WORSE bc now u have to waste time walking it back to reset it... and its also a loss of momentum, you know? like- i know im bingeing this, so its a different viewing experience so maybe momentum isnt the right word, but yeah...i guess it just sort of sets the expectations and tone totally out of whack with what they initially establish and not in a good/intentional way

especiallyyyy bc then these two eps after ep 1... arghh!! bc of that they already are building off a strange foundation - but then with these, everything feels so rushed and sloppy. i genuinely had to check- did they kno abt cancellation, pre-production? bc i thought they were trying to speed through it but... naur, like...

farscape in the past has been one of the few shows to pull off the "just fucking throw EVERYTHING IN THERE!" bc it knows how to move quickly, and matter of factly but here its just like... stuff was just weak. i think, usually, when it DOES introduce a lot fast it knows how to really build them up. it uses super simple concepts and then layers them really well. here, not so much... i feel like the whole planet situation was, eh, contrived? is that the best word for it? its introducing a lot of weird mechanics to how it works- and maybe that'd be fine, usually, but again with everything else going on its like they introduce way too much, too fast. like oo-nii, also- i really loved the design, actually, loved the colour, but also kinda a really strange addition in here.

and i hthink its worsened with grammy granola grime bc i SAID I LIKED HER, I DO, but ive always felt with the more "spiritual aspects" (for lack of a better word) such as stark and zhaan they come close but also they kinda ... dont... pull it off ever. SORRY lol. i mean stark- actually stark did have some really good stuff in his first introduction, but i feel like its always so ill-defined in the bad way where it sort of feels like their nebulous abilities are used moreso to plaster over places in stories where they didnt know what to do rather than an actual exploration into something more interesting . like theres always a very shaky core to them- and that kinda sucks, bc you do NEED something even if you are trying to go for mystery or surrealism bc theres a difference between that and just kinda. yeah. anyways

thats all to say like. all of these issues and again entrenching some really important and heavy subject matter... EEK...!

like even just the minor shit. jool and d'argo. eh, man. just burnt through the whole damn thing in this ep... OK, LOL. IDC ABOUT IT? sorry... i just think its so weird how they handle other romances bc johnaeryn are so fucking organic and well-paced and claudia and ben do such a good job with the intimacy between them that just makes it real as fuck whereas like... everyone else is strange, man... eh. why'd you do it. come on man. its a shame bc i praised them in s1 bc they were pretty normal about zhaan and d'argo- kinda saying "oh, there's tension sometimes but otherwise its like eh theyre not super into it theyre just chilling as friends tbh" which is a dynamic that i actually find refreshing tbh... the more casual nature of it, yeah? as its told moreso through subtext and interactions whereas its like man what the fuck. everything with dargo otherwise has been, like, just so tell not show wtf...

and the major shit. i know the confirmation that jool's species are related to humans somehow is important. but its like... amongst this whole ep that whole thing really didnt have any impact bc like i said. its kinda all over. uhm. idk how i feel abt that. uhm well ... i dont like it. ok. SORRY. LOL.

but thats less so about it being done here even if it wasnt so good andmoreso i dont really want... them to be related... i dont know. what i liked about farscape was how it treated humans- john was never something special in the way trek always put "HUMANITTYYY" on a pedestal and forced the universe through human's perspective and culture and morality etc.... i really fucking hope it isnt some, like, "humans are their great ancestors" type of thing, that'd be the worst - ive had enough of that through shitty dw fan theories

and also just, like, in general ughghghg i DONT LIKE it when like.. there's a whole univers,e yes? its so infinitely huge and... well idk if it's coincedental, yet, but i dont like how small it makes the universe feel when it just so happensss that its humans like... AGAIN i think it detracts from whats established already, about how crichton is so far away from everything hes ever known ... it makes everything so much smaller in perspective and its just... ssorry to 🤓 but its soo 🤓unrealistic! AND YES YES YES its a damn fiction show- but i mean... within the established show, is what imean, bc i dont really care about technicalities USUALLY until then yeah its actually affecting the narrative where i think it is here and anyways thats speculation bc

AND OK

CANT SKIP AROUND IT

HEAVY SUBJECT MATTER

right the thing is i said it yesterday. i am not against them deciding to have *that* happen to john, in any capacity. there are respectful and meaningful ways you can explore that type of thing with care.

and its odd. bc i look at the time period this was done - and fucking hell, even comparing it to now - and theres stuff with the execution here thats... and i hesitate to say it, but it's almost... good... like.. im talking specifically about john's reaction and performance bc- god, even nowadays i feel like in media it doesnt always... get handled, well? but god- john doesnt take it well, and it isnt brushed off by the *narrative* in some parts (ehrm).. like i meanthe show knows that thats really fucked up, it acknowledges johns pain, and god like. i dont know; mauybe ben browder's performance was carrying, there, but what i mean is like.. even now i feel like with men, this type of thing isnt taken seriously or depicted like this with the grace given in PARTS of this, but also like...

GOD WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON. AND ALSO... D'ARGOS REACTION. UHM. LIKE EVERYONE ELSE'S- that just felt so fucking wrong, man. like jesus. and i mean, well, i think sometimes people do project a morality onto characters - expect a perfect reaction to things like this, when thats just not how people are, yknow - and i wouldnt want that either if it wasnt true, as i think an important aspect of this conversation IS reaction/others' perception but.. THIS? COME ON, MAN.. that whole bit is brushed off andits... icky which... again if d'argo and co misunderstood/brushed it off normally i'd be fine but its also like- the show itself brushes off them brushing it off, is my issue? no rumination on their reaction, which as i said an important aspect of that but... yeah. yeah.

and yeah. the thing in the first place- its also just sort of... ugh. like unnecessary. like- bc it isnt really reflected on much here it jsut... i dont think its shock-value territory, but it just feels like kind of a pointless jump to make - something a bit needlessly..,cruel... to approach such a serious topic when you really dont have the space to properly handle that kind of thing right now. and also its not- like from a story perspective it isnt... establishing anything, man, like... you could still have grayza domineering and even have her still like manipulate people through some similar means without that added layer (or hell, even everything up until that part with crichton i was kinda unnerved by but it didnt cross a line for me) and it would still be as effective. its not like the aurora chair or the neural clone wherein the consequences of them both have longstanding implications and do actually properly escalate-escalate, here its just like... alright lets just.. yeah. ok....

anyways

im kinda annoyed jool is now leaving like did her actress wanna go i mean thats okay if thats the case but like i dont like the revolving door character situation we've been having with regards to introducing new people like i just think it'd be fine man if you didnt. LOL

anyways

this isall so negative nancy SORRY LOLLLL im still having fun ofc its just OUGH... i swear, every opener i go through kind of a . ughhpart. at least it feels that way- maybe im misremembering

[wolfboyvirus]

How well Arcana characters can read/write

(Im bored as shit yall)

Nadia:

The best reader and writer in all of vesuvia, can read the longest word to ever exist without hesitation and writes in the smoothest cursive youve ever seen. Sometimes she writes things on your skin like "my love" or something while yall r cuddling and if it was a normal person it would be great but all the swirls and curves just send you to heaven its fucking therapeutic. And, i forgot to mention she can read and write in like 3 other, way more complicated languages, and normally she isnt the type to brag but that is a serious achievement right there so how is she not gonna be like "oh of course i understand [insert language]. I can write in it too. Its rather easy, if im being honest." (insert smug smile)

Julian:

Is average at reading, nothing too special, but he's canonically the shittiest writer to ever exist. One time someone actually mistook it for genuine chicken scratch. Tbh he only learned to read and write because he needed it so he could do doctor-y things. However, he's fully aware that his writing is shitty so if you ever offer him any tips ("hey maybe make your o's by drawing a circle instead of a sloppy infinity sign") he will definitely take them.

Asra:

Before your death he couldn't really read or write at all but when he realized you had to relearn everything he learned all the shit so he could teach you. So now he's actually pretty good at it. Just a little under Nadia's skill level when it comes to reading, and his writing is just good enough to be actually readable (for you at least (he doesnt give a shit whether or not others can read his writing he just needs to make sure you understand it))

Portia:

She only just barely started learning a while back, so she's at the level of a 4th or 5th grader rn, but with time she's able to read literally anything. Unfortunately bad handwriting seems to run in the family since she's almost as bad as Julian. She's trying, just make sure to remind her that she should make a line straighter or a curve curvier every now and then and she'll be just fine. Also has a little trapdoor in her cottage leading to a little basement with a ton of books and paper she's dedicated specifically to her studies and there are cushions everywhere with patterned letters printed on them.

Muriel:

Actually can't read or write at all. Completely illiterate. He grew up homeless so he didn't really have anyone to teach him (except Asra but he didn't know either), and even after he ran away from the coliseum he didnt really need to learn. But, at a certain point you send him a cute love letter while ur traveling somewhere and he's like "wait i want to know what this says" so he learns the entire alphebet and like 37 words until you come back a week later and help him out. The only problem is that he has no concept of spacing or writing small so he can write "i lov yu" and it would take up the entire page. And the worst thing is that he finds he actually kind of likes writing and wants to keep a diary so he had an entire box of books full of writing thats slowly getting smaller and smaller and its actually a great way to track his progress but the amount of money you've spent on paper makes you wanna die. But it makes Muriel happy so who cares about bankruptcy right

Lucio:

He's barely any better than Muriel tbh. He sees you reading a book one day and he asks what its about (he doesnt like books but if ur interested in it then its probably good) and ur so focused on the story that you just show him the cover so you can keep reading and he's just like "...i cant fucking read that lmao" and you have to teach him because he starts to feel left out/insecure. He grew up in a tribe surrounded by violence and didnt really need to read and write to be a good mercenary so he had no incentive to learn. He only knows a few words because even though he usually got others to do work for him he did have to handle certain responsibilities as the Count of Vesuvia. So like he knows how to sign his name and initals and thats it. He really really wants to learn cursive like Nadia because it looks fancy but you actually dont know cursive so he needs to settle for normal writing like everyone else oof. He still prefers picture-based books but now he can enjoy that awesome novel u were reading :D

[limelocked]

/ rp

/ tw: abuse & torture

One thing I don't understand is how people can say that Dream's treatment is okay because he designed the prison that way. Like, so did Sam? Sam literally built the prison? Y'all telling me you'd be perfectly fine with Sam being kept like that? I mean, people were freaking out about him potentially being locked up back before the prison was finished when we still thought the conditions would be, y'know, Not This.

I feel like people forget that Sam made that cell with no idea who Dream wanted to put in it. He was completely willing to put someone else in those conditions. Sure, he might've refused if Dream tried to imprison someone innocent. I doubt he would've been okay with Dream throwing Tommy in there with no explanation. But the thing is Dream's a manipulator and he one of Sam's oldest friends. Sam trusted Dream. It wouldn't have been difficult for Dream to convince him that someone "deserved" to be locked up and Sam likely wouldn't have treated them much better than Dream's being treated now.

Tbh, as an abuse victim, the way the fandom's been treating this arc's made me really uncomfortable. Just the idea that someone can "deserve" abuse... It makes me feel kind of sick. Where do you even draw the line on something like that? Does Schlatt deserve to be abused? Does Technoblade? Wilbur? Niki and Jack?

It's just... upsetting, I guess. Thank you for talking critically about the prison, it makes me feel a lot better to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

          you :handshake: me abuse victims that think this is fucked up

you’re 100% right about the thing with sam, dream may have helped design the place but sam built it without much if any second guesses (i have another ask about this so ill try not to go too in depth here) and i doubt as well that if sam was locked up in there that he would get the same “he deserves to be there because he built it”

something ive been thinking about is if dream actually... knows he abused tommy? he knows hes done bad stuff, that him blowing up tommys shit was bad and that not allowing the beach party invites to get out was bad, but i honestly dont think that dream understands the damage done because when he thinks of exile he thinks about tommy and him hanging out and having fun at a time where dream was working hard to detach himself from everyone and everything

that doesnt excuse his actions, it still fucked tommy up so so bad but its punishing someone who doesnt really understand why hes being punished, torturing someone who just thinks he did some bad actions, abusing someone who doesnt know hes an abuser

all that being said; no one deserves torture or abuse, even people whos wronged me, i would take no satisfaction in knowing that my abusers might have had to go thru the same thing they put me thru after i left them because that isnt the way to teach someone that theyve done wrong, thats just the way to traumatise more people in some sick cycle of violence kind of way

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[soopysoap]

Uh, I read your post about having an 80's au for the foreigen kids. And since I'm a Foreigen kids stan, can you tell me more about it?

HI. ANON? ILY.

They're really just random n messy ideas and i forget how many there are but i'm throwing them all here

so the whole thing takes place in highschool and mainly surrounds the cockswolds cotswolds (mainly mark but rebecca is usually there too)

most of them are seniors, rebecca's a junior

mark is an unpopular nerd, therefore the main character because it's the 80s. so is rebecca but she's not the main character

uhh everyone else is kinda just there

like there are no side characters all the foreign kids are kinda equal focus- wise but the main one is mark i guess

like the leader of their group idk idk

estella is the stereotypical rich popular girl, but she's also a closeted lesbian they're all closeted tbh so she's trying to hide that from her mom. Her mom, instead of being all 'Blah blah blah brrak hearts to fuel my life' or something she's just obsessed with status and how popular Estella is. She's always pleased when Estella has a boyfriend, but it's not often. Basically Estella is more smiley and happy than she usually is, but she's stil usually indifferent. Smiles either when she's genuinely happy or wants something. Most of the time she's deadpan or rolling her eyes

Gaydamien is the rich popular jock, his ego is huge. His dad (since he cant be the son of satan in this one) is the principal of their school. He usually gets what he wants, no matter what. Instead of "You dare [insert something here] to the Prince of Hell????" its that but with "Damien Thorn???" yknow because of his last name. He's been dating Estella to boost his ego, mainly. Doesn't realize he likes guys yet. Estella and Damien hate each other, but everyone believes they're dating because they're too scared to say otherwise. They complain about each other to each other AND to people in private.

Pip is just- he's less of a nerd but more of a kid that's just. There. He isn't nerdy but he definitely isn't popular. At all. He's just a pushover man idk what to tell you. He's usually being bullied. He has a huge crush on Damien, because he got him out of trouble with some other jock like. Once. Always gets giggly around him, it's funny to watch. Also very passive aggressive @ Estella because she's dating him. They have very few classes together, but whenever they do he's always like "hey :) so hows damien" and she responds with "why would i know" and he's like "because??? youre dating him???" and she looks really confused for a second and then is like "OH- Oh yeah okay uh. I don't know. So." and then she starts complaining about him or something and pip is all ":) why not just break up?"

Pip also hates Christophe

Which, speaking of, Christophe is also an annoying egotistical jock who plays football with Damien. Damien and Christophe are best friends. Christophe and Gregory are dating in secret

Gregory is the stereotypical gay kid. No other way to put this. If Ryan Evans from High School Musical had a superiority complex. He's a theatre kid, and takes pride in tha- OH MY GOD. Rachel??? Maybe he's Rachel Berry from Glee??? it would kind of work idk,, ok uh anyway yeah he's always bullied for being openly gay and it sucks but he took defense classes in Yardale (yes he's still a transfer from Yardale, yes he constantly mentions it) so he's able to hold his own. But Christophe usually steps in to get Gregory out of there and tend to his wounds.

Rebeccaaaaaa she's the unpopular girl, just started school and doesnt know shit about it after being homeschooled almost her whole life. Has a little crush on Estella, but Estella "Doesn't" notice her. (Estella just thinks of her as some pretty girl who isnt worth her time) Rebecca usually keeps to herself, is usually gossiped about. Estella never gets involved, but whenever she'd get asked about it, instead of defending Rebecca she just says "I hardly believe any of the rumors. She was homeschooled, not taught in witchcraft or satanisim. Or whatever else everyone's saying. Everyone should really calm themselves, if they were so worried about what people thought of them when Rebecca started going here then they should get that in order first before ruining Rebecca's social life. God. You all have to grow up." So, not necessarily a defense but also not an insult. Rebecca still finds it sweet.

Mark is a neerrrrrrd 80s main character. Minus the popular love interest and yearning 😩 And also if the main character had a god/superiority complex.. he's bullied the most other than Gregory, mostly by Damien n Christophe. Girls don't like him, guys don't like him, he really only had Pip and Rebecca for a while. Pip because he's overly nice to almost everyone and wanted to befriend Mark immediately. Usually during lunch Mark sits with Pip and Rebecca. Mark has to hear about Damien all the time from Pip though, so that's annoying.

Uh I know that Pocket is TECHNICALLY a foreign kid but idk shit about him and dont really think about him but he's Estella's cousin and often hangs out with her since he doesn't really have a friend group. He's also really good friends with Pip. BUT since this is a horror au he dies off early

After theyre all friends some stuff happens yada yada yada Gaymien realizes he's pan and has a crush on Pip, Estella takes Rebecca out for a makeover , Christophe gets severely injured because this is a horror au as well, Damien and Pip make out at some point-

Estella and Rebecca both know that theyre Lesbians but they refuse to admit that they like each other

Kinda thinking of this as if it was stranger things or something so i definitely want there to be like... a series of bad events. everyone thinks everythings cool and fine and whatever and there are moments where our group kinda just get to chill n' be kids. idk i just want there to be a falling out in the group and then they all realize they need each other or something dumb like that

also for some fun chill moments we can have estella and rebecca walking around holding hands and laughing n' stuff bc they love each other idk idk

and after the falling out when they all join together again estella is the first to see some scary stuff but she was also the first to drop everyone except damien and christophe (because of her mother) and so she blames herself and doesnt think she can go to them and just has to deal with it on her own

eventually she tells damien who immediately tells pip who immediately wants to get the group together again

everyone's (the cockswolds) are reluctant to hang out again because of the way they were just forgotten so easily, but they go anyway. because of the horror stuff. they both are pissed at estella though

at some point estella gets badly hurt and rebecca saves her and starts nursing her back to health

estella: why are you... why are you doing this. dont you hate me?

rebecca: i'm doing it because i actually care for you, idiot.

estella: i care for you i just... couldnt...

rebecca: what? spend time with a lowlife like me?

estella: you know thats not what i meant-

they go on like that for a little while longer until they wind up confessing to each other "Because I love you! Is that so fucking hard to believe?!" Would be rebecca's and Estella's would probably be "I don't hate you! You're my favorite person, and I hated having to stop hanging out with you! I love you, okay?!" it would be :) fun

damien and estella come out to each other first. well- damien doesnt really come out he just tells her how confused he is and they hug it out and estella tells him she's a lesbian and they both talk a little while longer and decide that breaking up would be the best idea

thats all i've really figured out for sure,, i have some more ideas but this is. a lot already so. i'm just gonna stop before i write too much 👉👉 anyway, anon ily ty for this. also sidenote: the horror stuff has to do with weird sacrificial cults. i know i have nothing for that and really only talked about how everything starts and drama instead of the interesting stuff but 🥴 i have no defense i just love my kids ok drama is fun

[grlfriends]

The Raven Boys thoughts

ch 1: boi I thought gansey was the bald one 😔 anyway the bald bitch and the nerd who looks like a twink in every fanart are gay

ch 15: wow guys nothing has happened so far... nothing..... we're almost 200 pages in and nothing that interesting has happened, I know the plot is setting in and the pace is starting to speed up a little but wow so far this already isnt my fav book of the series I think

ch 24: ok the pace is starting to pick up and I'm really enjoying it rn, I still see gansey as this polo wearing and golf player fucker but he's getting better I guess, Ronan can fuck off sometimes he's so edgy it irks me a little

on this and on the previous chapter they saw/hallucinated some stuff at that hollow tree and then at the end gansey was like "ohh blue was the missing person/thing I feel so connected to her something something" and tbh I did not enjoy that very much it was a bit 😬😐 for me bc I just dont like when this type of connection between characters bc it feels like the author is trying to force/speed up a relationship they just dont have yet?? and we the readers must accept they feel the connection in their souls and it just feels so right for them to be around each other when in reality it feels a bit lazy to me..... I'm still halfway through the book so it's not like I can complain for real but still ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ch 42 maybe?? : okay just something's I wanna tall about: can we pay respect to Maggie stiefvater and how organic she made Adam deciding to wake the ley line?? bc it was GREAT and I deeply loved it, i know i said that the book felt boring and very slow and how it needed to pick up the pace but i think this trilogy falls into the lotr/hobbit category where it's one big movie (in the specific case, book) divided into 3 so it would be easier to digest and I think this makes total sense, everything I've read so far (from chap 33 to here) feels so perfectly paced and planed but still it feels natural, when Adam was coming back home and he had a confrontation (well, not really) with his dad it just felt like was supposed to happen at that time with those exact words describing everything and mwah I'm loving it so much

also!! boi do Adam and blue sound so cute together, when he said he wanted to kiss her I was like

bc holy shit do they make a cute couple EVEN THOUGH I do know she ends up with gansey and their energy is also really good but goddamn do they look cute together and to think he would have been her first kiss too I'm going insane rn brub oh my god

also maybe it's the 21 year old in me talking but god did I wish they were one or two years older, it just kinda makes me a bit :// reading to 16 year olds being this traumatized about life in general and I feel like it honestly would change much if all this happened in the meantime they're about to turn 18 bc it would still be a ya book but it would be just?? more comprehensive I guess, adam dialogue about making up enough money to leave his house and getting into a good college so he can live a good life and have a home finally baby that's a 17 year old talking and feeling the pressure of the so called adulthood and being so close to being independent but also still being so young and !!!! I just feel like it would make more sense to me personally

re: about gansey's glasses: did I miss something or have the part where he gets glasses already went by?? bc he shower up at blue's home wearing white ones and there was no tall about it?? nothing else and it makes me feel like I missed something and I'm not sure yet

ch 48 and ending thoughts: ok. I'm not really sure what to feel about it bc even I had a rocky beginning with it I did end up really liking the ending but it left such a big taste of wanting more than I got that it just kinda makes me feel like it was, in a way, a prologue for the second book, where I imagine things will be more intense and already be in motion plot-wise. I have many question but my biggest one is that wow apparently that was the big explanation for gansey wearing glasses?? bc it honestly looks like I missed something or a chapter where something happens and he got glasses, his fight with whelck did break his thumb but it somehow got him glasses too?? or what the hospital like "yeah you're blind so fuck here's some glasses bitch"?? and Adam mentioned something on his face from their fight and??? was the discussion their fight and how did it hurt gansey's face?????? HOW???

not only that but also Adam sacrificed himself and how exactly does that affects him?? or was the whole "oh I've sacrificed myself my whole life" dialogue supposed to explain something?? bc yeah it kinda did but I was left with the thought that he would be kinda like a puppet I guess? bc he said he would sacrifice himself so in a way he wouldnt be himself anymore and there would be something else controlling him and maybe that was just my imagination wanting to guess what was going to happen now

I did think there would be the classic sacrifice scene and that whelck would try to shot gansey and that Adam would step in front of him or idk bc the scenario wasn't really solid in my mind and I did have trouble trying to figure out who was in what place but it was fine I guess

how on earth did Noah pull out chainsaw from his dreams?? man what the heck I need to read the second book