#dont have his contact info so cant even reach out

[autisticlee]

sometimes I think about how my cousin who was born a couple weeks after me and was basically raised with me was my only one and true best friend in life. he was like my twin brother. he was my favorite person. he was *my person* and my chosen family, despite being actual family. he was the only person ever in my life even til now to treat me correctly the way I want and need to be treated. my memories are fading from that time. I can barely remember specific or detailed moments of our time together. so I can't give specific examples of why I was so comfortable and happy being with him. but I still remember that feeling well. I remember how I felt playing with him and talking with him. it's a feeling I have been searching for my entire life since he moved away. but I have never found it again. never connected or binded with another person even close to this ever again.

i'm often asked what I want in a friend. what i'm looking for. because I only ever talk about bad parts of friendships and how they fail. but don't say what I WANT, only what I don't want. i...cant say. cant describe. I want what I had with my cousin. I want *that feeling* back. what was thar feeling? it's hard to describe a vague feeling or energy or vibe someone gives you. but I can try to the best of my bad memory....

he set the standard for how i want to be treated by others. he didn't treat me as different or less for being different from him. i'm autistic and dont think he is??? (maybe adhd tho. but memories are vague so who knows) he seemed more... "normal" than me (basically other people would have seen him as normal and me as a weord creature) felt like he always knew what to do and did everything right and Iearned from and copied him. he was the leader I gladly followed. he was extroverted and inspiring. I had more trust in him than anyone else in the whole world. I completely believed in him amd trusted him completely. he was more reliable than all the adults in our lives.

he treated me equally and well while the whole world kicked me when i was down. he never told me I can't do things, never pushed me away, never bullied me in any way. sure we had our disagreements and arguments, but the fact that I cant remember a single one when I remember ones from "friends" at school and other cousins during the same time means they were never serious and we made up easily and quickly.

he never said "ew girls can't do this" like every other boy I knew. I wasn't a girl to him. we were the same. completely equal. I could be and do everything he could. gender and all that stuff never mattered at all and baby nonbinary me who never felt like a girl from my earliest memories was so happy about it. its still the only time in my life i didnt have gender applied to me and it was the best. I didn't have to pretend to be a girl, prove I wasn't one, change how I looked or acted or anything to be taken seriously. he naturally saw me as equal, just like him, and treated me how I wanted. I didn't get stopped from things I liked for being afab. he let me play with his transformers and ninja turtles that I never got despite asking for them (I got barbies instead and hated them with a passion). he got me into pokemon while the boys at school ripped my pokemon stickers and keychains off my pencil case and bookbag, yelling "this isn't for girls!" he played video games with me when the boy cousins on the other side of the family pushed me out and locked the door yelling "video games are for boys only!" he played with me outside in the mud and exploring in the woods when the neighborhood boys yelled at me to go away because girls can't go on adventures or get dirty.

he never said "ew you're weird for this or that" like other kids did because i'm autistic. he accepted and adapted to me and made sure I was having fun and could keep up. he showed me new things he liked and learned about things I liked. he never made fun of me for not being able to do things like he did or for doing weird things like organizing his hot wheels every time i went to his house because he "didnt do it right" and i needed to fix it before we played something else. he was patient and caring and made sure I didn't fall behind and never left me behind. if I couldn't do something he couldn't, he encouraged me to try and helped if I wanted. or he would suggest something else.

there was never any pressure. no worry. no guessing. no pretending. he was so easy to just *be* with. I didn't have to try. he made it so easy. and he never showed any signs of thinking I was annoying or a burden or any trouble at all. he wanted to be around me and play with me just as much I did him. he was my twin and we were glued together. he was my other half. two peas in a pod. he filled in my missing gaps. he helped me be a whole person. he was my crutch to lean on. he matched me in every way. we fit together perfectly. he played video games, I loved to watch people play. he liked to do comedy skits, I loved to watch him do them. he was the funniest person I knew and made me laugh harder than anyone else. he loved to ride my scooter while I liked to ride his bike. everything worked out so smoothly and perfectly even when it didn't.

the feeling I got when I got to play with my favorite cousin, my favorite person, my best friend, made all the other struggles in my life melt away and seem easier to deal with.

then when we were, between 8-10 (can't remember exact age) his family moved away....that time being apart made us grow apart. we no longer grew our interests together. he changed while I stayed the same. I still remember the souk crushing feeling I got when I brought out our favorite pokemom toys first time he visited after a couple years, but he refused to play with them like we used to because he ~didn't do that anymore~ every visit he did or I did we were more different from each other and further apart. I was losing my best friend over again each time I saw him.....until the last time I saw him and he didn't even say a single word to me or really acknowledge I was even there. we became complete strangers. there was nothing connecting us anymore. the final thread had snapped and my memories of him started to fade since then. now they're disconnected feelings more than actual memories. sometimes I even wonder if that feeling is fading or is maybe not the same anymore....I'll never know.

my whole life since the day he moved away and I was unable to stay in contact with him has been me hoping and wishing and trying to find a person to replace him. I tried so hard. I never succeeded or even came close. I still hopelessly try. no one fits that space he left. no one is good enough. no one makes me feel that comfortable, accepted, free, happy. I fear i'll never get that back. no one in my family is like he was. none of the friends I ever had were like he was. no one ove met or talked to have been even close to what he was.

he has set the standards for every other person so high. i've desperately tried to take anyone. but they're never good enough. they never meet my standards my cousin created. I can't keep letting all these useless people in when they can't live up to him. but i'll never get what he was to me back again.

i'm always told "one day you'll find your people/the one/the right person/etc"

I think I found that person already. I already had "my person" and now he's gone because there's too much time and distance between us now.

I lost that person, way before I was ready. in fact I would never be ready. I need this kind of person for life. we needed to grow up together and stick together. but, we haven't spoken in at least 20 years now. I wouldn't know how anymore. he's a completely different person. while i'm still much the same probably. still searching for my old best friend, my twin, my soulmate in other things and people around me.....there's no way to make up for that lost time and end up where we left off. I can never get back what we had. I can never replace him. maybe it was just the childish innocence we had back then that made everything feel so..right. maybe it's all "rose colored glasses" and foggy memories. or maybe we were twin soulmates destined to be separated. who knows.

but I can't help but think how my life would be different now if he never moved away and we grew up together....

would it have turned out better? would I have suffered less? would he have stayed my best friend? would he have continued to give me the exact support and care I need in this world? would he have been the shoulder I could lean on that i've never had up to now? would we have stayed as twins? would I still have a best friend?

can never know. but i'm sure at least some of it would have stayed the same between us or have at least been better than whatever shit I have now. maybe we would have grown and changed together to still match. maybe he would still be my best friend I could go to at the end of the day for some laughs. maybe he would be able to help push me in the right direction. maybe I wouldn't feel so alone in this world filled with way too many people...maybe one day i'll find someone who can fill in the very unique and specific hole he left in my life and my soul that never healed...

but also, what if I don't... :( he, and my short time growing up with him truly were one of a kind, once in a lifetime experience

[viro-lil-goat]

ghost au

Again shoutout to this post

For now im skipping 🔴👁️ hyde and 🟢👁️ jekyll since theres more info on it

Theres also another ghost au by @/bansheeoftheforest ^^ dont remember that much about it from discord except the fact that jekyll is a singular ghost there, since its been a long time. But if anyone's interested you can check it out too, i think theres also a fanfic on it.

Anyway! Heres a VERY old drawing (like, 2021 probably) i had to edit it bc the quality is dogshit.

So yeah its pretty old i dont remember much but here we go In this au, i didnt really made a particular reason for their/his death, either something like accidental poisoning, murder or just soul leaving the body as its in a coma state.

Rachel and Robert notice that Jekyll is missing, and at the same time weird things happenning in Society of Mad Scientists. Like is there was a ghost or perhaps a poltergeist.?

So of course, they go to Maijabi, the only person in Society who specialises on that kind of thing

He investigates, and does notice that there is infact a new ghost in society. He only needs for it/them to cooparate. He does something like a summoning ritual, and gives Rachel and Robert mixture that would let them see this ghost.

(new addition ) Meanwhile ghost Henry dosent want to show up, but Edward does. He wants to come in contact with Rachel . They summon them, and as they see that it's Jekyll, they are in shock, but its only the start, as ghost turns around they notice Hyde. And at this point they are stunned and dont know what to say, is this real? Are they dead? Why? And most importantly, why the hell they are connected into one?

I remember also imagining j&h ghost being kinda zomby like for some reason, like when R, L, and M summon them i imagined them saying something like:

Я ø b ë r t ЯR æ ç h ê l

As they try to reach their shocked friends. (Ooo body horror too 👻)

The first summoning ends, and Rachel and Robert dont know how to process what they have just witnessed.

Maijabi is also stunned, he remarks he has never seen anything like that before

R and L dont understand how that could be explained, Robert is especially in denial. As they calm down a little with a cup of tea, Maijabi tries to explain what he thinks about this, but the main conclusion is that Jekyll and Hyde are dead (duh XD) and thats not some sort of illusion. He knows an actual ghost when he sees one. Lanyon and Rachel cant believe it, their precious friend is dead, for Rachel its even worse because Hyde is also.

On the second summoning Maijabi finally gets to examine this strange case. His conclusion from this time, is that its not two souls tied together, but instead one soul split in two, and yet, not fully.

(new addition) And then its most likely Hyde is the one to tell the truth, Jekyll is so stubborn he wouldn't tell it even when hes dead.

Now that i think about it, i recall they are all goopy and zomby like because their soul is literally falling apart (since its already split).

The ending, as i recall, was something like Jekyll finally accepting himself, and his soul becoming one again, by that they fuse and Jekyll becomes fully himself again, and finding peace. And Lanyon, Rachel and lodgers as they find out of course – mourning.

(New addition) but if his body was in a coma state, after fusing, he would wake up, but finally fully himself again(could be an alternative ending if them fully dying is too sad ^^).

Thats it with the au , but on topic, of back then and still i believe that before drinking the amongus potion™ back in University, and basically his whole life he was fully himself, except for the fact he had a facade, but after drinking the potion, at first it was still his self, but with time they sapatated more and more. Now rarely able to control each other (red eyed hyde and green eyed jekyll), they can only watch and feel physical sences of the other half while they are in control.

Well, at least thats from my logical standpoint, but in general despite that, i still see them as sapatate, for example i really like Hyde but kinda neutral towards Jekyll, not negative, just don't like him just as much even tho they're the same person.

[imaginespazzi]

Hi hi hi!

Reporting live and procrastinating responsibilities :). So heres my rundown, pretty much matchy matchy w yours, naturally: Generally the video vibes almost 💯 fit with the allegations 🙃. Please bear w the rambling thoughts in no particular order. Im not sure how one could possibly cohesively recap ALL THAT lol. Ok it blows my mind how much they personally had to catch up on w one another! God damn babes, you havent talked much if at all in nearly a month. Again it screams that there was more of a relationship (ending poorly).. Even friends moving apart prob wouldve had more contact over that time. Sometimes I wonder how they dont realize what they reveal by what they leave ~unsaid/not explained! Though G’s “really bad breakup” comment felt weighted given their situation. To me much of the injury discussion came across as carry over from the In The Mirror. With G making a point to say nice things (good memories of playing together;tearing up when Liz got hurt; not being wholly herself as a player w/out Kitley;the frustration at team reaction after the game following the injury; belief that Liz will recover/be drafted etc.). And G’s words still feel to me like a way of her dealing with some guilt which she cant quite yet express or process. Especially considering her adding stuff about being w the Kitley fam lately and helping move Liz’s stuff ha. If a person ever questioned something going down between L&G, I’ll say alarm bells went off when L described her night following the injury and staying over w Cayla. In such a low moment, poor girlie really couldnt manage being at her own place thats shared w one of her closest pals. Ooof. However, on the whole, they sounded more comfortable at times than I expected. In fact the convo sometimes got surprisingly open and loose - gals dont tell me that we had a bit of liquid courage before recording. ;) And it did stand out to me that L asked the “fans” on multiple occasions to just be decent and grateful for what they had + be understanding of decision making under the situation, but stopped short of telling people to leave G alone (which, given everything we’re led to believe, fair play hun). My big takeaway was that they seem to be taking this time of big adjustment as also a new beginning to possibly recover a friendship. Clearly theres still issues to work thru, but perhaps theyve reached a more settled/amicable place? Or at least were just able to deal w each other long enough to provide us all w a semi closure pod 😐. But heres hoping for more future content, as they hinted at! Oh and as someone who works w/in college athletics, I was very sympathetic to their comments throughout re change. Its a crazy industry, stuff happens in the blink of an eye and you do just have to deal with that ish. The harsh reality of the current state of things is that one rarely gets a neat, happy closure.

Happy Sunday to you bestie, hope its fantastic! -☕️

Reporting live and procrastinating is so real, like me asf fr fr.

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. Like they seemed so out of the loop when it came to each other's life and that's just so weird to me? I mean I get it could just be regular friends drifting but that wasn't the ~vibe~ at all to me and maybe again it's the allegations bias but it was just very much giving exes.

Hardcore agree with the Georgia stuff because I thought some of what she was saying felt a bit like an overcompensation, an apology of sorts to make up in a way for anything else that *might* have happened. Honestly Georgia being so nice, no shade, doesn't really fit the dynamic from before where sometimes Georgia's snark was just mean to me really.

Every new bit of info/content, I just continue to feel terrible for Liz. And I think her staying at Cayla's really gave away the depth of how much has happened between her and Georgia. And again yeah it could be a friend breakup but it just feel a little too serious for that.

Obviously I don't know a timeline, if there even is one, but this podcast gave me the vibes that if they were together, it's actually been a decent while since they broke up and are now in a place where they can co-exist in an amicable manner. I don't know if we'll ever get another podcast or if they'll actually be able to be in a genuine friendship again but I think they're in a good enough place and I do love that for them.

[lpfreakification]

What a time to be alive X)

This whole week I felt like I was working out all week, although I only go 3 days a week (M,Tu,+Th).

What I'm putting in during those days, I've been getting back w/ energy again X) What's even better is that I've been waking up refreshed again!

It's like in the 1995 Power Rangers Movie where the rangers revive Zordon. Once that power is back, the way he looks when he's revived. Back with energy X) I couldn't find the gif of it so I did my best to describe it :P

I've been so mentally prepared with parties on Friday. When everyone thought I was going fast, I think they thought I was in a panic. Nope :) I was actually in the zone. Auto Zone X) That was a great (adrenaline) rush. With the bonus energy I obtained from working out all week, I was able to give it my all + the tips showed! I like that I was able to take that performance as a big victory this time X) I know it cant/doesn't happen too frequently. I'll take what I can with the energy I have on me atm. What goes around... comes around :)

Now... *takes a deep breath* I FIND THIS NEW COWORKER TO BE VERY ATTRACTIVE.

Little steps like showing him how to use the coffee machine + fist-bumping :) I'm struggling bcuz I cant make eye contact w/out blushing >////< Its like that one Thomas Sanders vine where he's so mad bcuz the puppy is so/too cute. Yeah, that's exactly how I feel rn. One of my coworkers asked me a really good question: what do I want from this? My silent answer: d***. Been there, done that b4 + I miss it. It's been 3 years. I got some thinking + reflecting to do. My coworkers did find out more info on this attractive 31yo.

Single

Wants no kids

Served as a fighter pilot

From Columbia

Been here in the US for 4 months

Lives with 3 other guys

Says he lives close?

It's also difficult to approach him bcuz he has his phone on him often :( let's see how long this infatuation lasts. For now, his codename between my coworkers + the internet will be "Heart Eyes".

Also the amount of yaoi I've consumed this week has been quite an increase. Yarichin B**** Club, Heavens Official Blessing (Ch. 8 atm thx to the Read Aloud function), + I Cannot Reach You. Also so many cute kisses + fluff from "blfantasys" on IG. It's been quite a rush of dopamine but I'm concerned with myself. To separate fantasy with reality. I know not everything's like a bl/yaoi anime/manga. I just need more experience other than my job(s) to interact with more people (boys, in particular) around my age. I was blushing so hard while reading I Cannot Reach You Vol. 5 that one of my coworkers brought in. The way I can tell I'm blushing is putting my hand/knuckles on my face + feel how warm or hot my cheeks are.

I hope I dont have a repeat of May of last year. Too much of a good thing (yaoi) did mess with my mind (emotionally). A guilty pleasure? But at the same time, I want what these characters have. Just gotta work on it.

*thinking about how well we all get along at work aka why I love my day job*

Overall, I'm enjoying myself atm X) I know it wont last. Squeezing as much happy moments as I can. Yep! X)

[sero-sphere]

Cat Daddy

[ You find a little cat on a late night walk home, Shinso helps you out and becomes your “Cat Daddy”]

(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)

 It was Thursday night, you had fallen asleep studying at the library when the sound of thunder woke you up. 

“Great, now it’s raining.” you thought to yourself. 

You packed your things and threw on your coat. You didnt even bring your umbrella with you. You had originally planned to be back to your room before the weather got this bad. Too late for that now. 

You started the walk back to your dorm reluctanty.You had made it about half way when you heard a few meows. You stopped and listened for the sound. You followed it to a gutter area and peered down. It was so dark you couldn’t see anything. You listened closely. There it was again. You grabbed your cell phone and turned on the flashlight. 

“Oh! There you are, you little thing!!”

“You are so pretty!! Can you come closer so I can get you out?” You said to the little grey kitten.

The thing just stayed where it was, making no attempt to help you get it out, mewing loudly all the while.

 You were laying on the ground in the pouring rain getting soaked. You looked up and glanced around. You saw someone a little ways from you so you called out.

“Hey….hey!!! SHINSO? is that you. I need your help?!”

He glanced your way but continued on walking.

You huffed to yourself. “What a jerk. I cant believe he wont help me. This poor little thing. I’m gonna get you out ok little kitty.”

“Little kitty?” The tall purple haired boy was now suddenly standing straight behind you.

“Oh Shinso. I thought you were ignoring me." 

“Well I was trying to but then my curiosity got the best of me and I wondered what you were doing in the gutter getting all wet” He responded with a smug grin on his face.

“I heard a little kitty down here, I’m too short, you’re bigger do you think you can get to it?“ You asked him, giving him the best pouty face you could muster.

“Hmm, let me see.” He handed you his umbrella as he kneeled next to the gutter. He motioned for you to hold your flashlight. He stuck his hand out and was able to grab the kitten by the scruff of its neck.

"Oh my god thank you! Poor thing was getting soaked.” You reached out to pet it.

He held the cat in his arms as he took his umbrella back. You were scratching its little head as it was purring.

You both started to head back to the dorms together, sharing his umbrella, and discussing how a tiny little kitten like this could have gotten down there in the first place. You made it to the common room with him as he set the cat down in his lap. Luckily it was pretty late and all your classmates were already in their rooms.

“Aww it’s a little girl. Thank you for helping me. I would have never been able to get her on my own.” You said to Shinso, you were surprised he actually helped you. Usually he avoided interactions like this

“No problem. I actually really like cats, so I’m glad I decided to stop.” His hand was up scratching at the back of his neck as he looked down at the purring little fuzzball.

“You can give her to me now so I can get her dried up…”

Before you could even respond Shinso cut you off “Uhm. No….”

“Why not? I found her?” You interjected defensively. You shot him a harsh look.

“Yeah but you couldn’t GET her. You just said it yourself if I wasnt there to help she’d still be in the gutter drowning.” He stared back at you unamusingly. “But…” You started to give him the sad puppy dog eyes. “But nothing.” He smirked. 

“Besides, do you really think Aizawa sensei would let you keep her? I think I’d have a better chance winning him over.” “I guess soo…so give me your number” You said while shoving your phone in his face

“What why?” Shinso had one eyebrow raised questioningly.

“Yeah, I get that you dont want any friends here or anything, but we just became this little kitties parents. Without me, you wouldnt have her, and vice versa, I wouldn’t have her without you. I’m not taking no for an answer.” You put you hands on your hips hoping this would convince him somehow.

 It did. He put his number in and handed the phone back to you. He turned and started heading towards his room…

“Hey where are you going?” You broke out into a sprint after him.

“To dry her” he huffed back at you.

With a big grin on your face you looked him dead in the eyes and said. “I’m helping!” 

“Fine.” he replied as he broke the eye contact and opened his door.

(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)(=ↀωↀ=)

You followed him into his room. It was pretty much exactly as you thought it would be. Slightly messy, blankets and pillows everywhere, books that were left open were haphazardly left about.  Nothing too dangerous that the little kitty could get into. 

He walked over to the closet and grabbed some towels. He threw one at you, while taking the other to dry the little cat now laying on his bed.

“You too. You’re soaked. I don’t want my room all wet.” 

You dried yourselves and then watched as he grabbed the little kitty to cuddle. He laid down on his bed as you just stood there awkwardly looking at the two of them making themselves comfy.

“You can sit down you know…” he finally said.

“I know” you mumbled to yourself as you went and sat at the edge of his bed.

“We should probably get her a bed and stuff… Do you have like an old long sleeve shirt and a pillow….I can make a temporary one for tonight?” You said as you looked around his room for supplies.

He shot you a look, one that could only mean he didn’t really want you to rummage through all his stuff, and got up to look around in his closet.

The little kitty came over and rubbed herself against your arm. You were petting and scratching her all over when you were interrupted by a t-shirt landing on your head covering your face. It smelled really good if you were being honest. “I wonder if its his cologne, or his shampoo that smells like this?” you thought to yourself.

You made a make-shift little bed for your new furry friend as Shinso pulled out his laptop…

“We can look at stuff online and order it that way its here after class tomorrow.”

“Ok that’s a good idea.” You agreed.

 “We’ll split the cost. 50/50?”

Shinso nodded. The two of you layed on your stomachs with the little cat between you both, while looking at all the cute cat things on the internet. Taking turns petting her.

“I like this bed! “ You said, pointing to a fuzzy pastel pink one with butterfly patterns.

“No that ones too pink.” Shinso shot that down real quick.

“Fine what about this one.” It was a black and grey plaid bed. Pretty plain but it matched the rest of his room so you figured he might like it. Shinso agreed. You watched as he added a collar to the cart without asking your opinion.

“Hey I thought we were doing this together.” You said while slapping his arm lightly.

“I never agreed to that.” Shinso was smirking at you while he rubbed his arm, acting like you actually hit him hard.

“Yet here we are!” you interrupted….

“I do like that collar though….we need to name her!” After bickering back and forth about the all the necessary supplies, you thought that would never happen. 

“Well, after that I dont think we could ever agree on a name.”

Shinso laughed. “That’s because you’d probably pick cutesy little names that I wouldn’t like.”

“Hmm. Well how about we make a list of what we like and draw from a hat. That seems fair.” You glanced over at him making sure he was listening. You stood from the bed and and grabbed your coat to leave.

“I’ll write a list and you do one too…By tomorrow after class, I’ll come over to see all the stuff we bought and visit and we can decide then!”

“Is this going to be a daily thing? You coming over to visit….?” Shinso groaned, and rolled over on his back, throwing one arm over his eyes painstakingly.

“Well, we are parents now! What kind of mother would I be if I left you to be a single dad!” You said as you winked and left his room.

Once you shut the door and starting walking to your room, you unlocked your phone and brought up his contact info. 

“Cat Daddy!!” You mumbled excitedly to yourself as you changed his name.

[asking-jude]

Lately i have been day dreaming a lot, i literally spend hours if not all day dreaming and i cant do anything else, even if it is something that i like. this is a problem bc i should be studying but i cant. Its just bc of covid things dont feel real anymore. how do i stop day dreaming and start doing things? i've tried so hard but nothing seems to work

Hi love, 

Thank you for contacting Asking Jude. Daydreaming is a perfectly fine thing to do from time to time, but it’s an issue when it starts to affect your daily life. Covid-19 could have triggered excessive daydreaming as a way to cope with the situation. You are not alone in this situation. A lot of people have trouble with daydreaming a lot, and there is a name for it. It’s called Maladaptive Daydreaming, and it can be treated. MADD isn’t recognized as a psychological disorder, but many people think it is one. You can read more about MADD at https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/maladaptive-daydreaming. 

I know how frustrating daydreaming is because I’ve dealt with this issue in the past to cope with my anxiety disorder when I was in high school. It wasn’t very pleasant, and it often got in the way of things. I don’t quite remember what I did to stop daydreaming so much. I’m sorry I’m not able to give you my personal advice. However, I did find these articles and websites that have great advice: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKnv8Qa4BJ8. 

https://medium.com/invisible-illness/the-worlds-of-a-maladaptive-daydreamer-c21ec6ae04c4. 

https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/. 

https://www.maladaptivedaydreaming.org/. 

https://maladaptivedaydreamingisreal.com/yes-you-can-cure-maladaptive-daydreaming/treatments-for-maladaptive-daydreaming/. 

https://observer.com/2016/08/an-introverts-guide-to-daydreaming/. 

https://thedreamingplace.com/. 

https://madd-information.tumblr.com/resources. 

https://a-madd-world.tumblr.com/tagged/madd-recovery.

https://medium.com/@denaespeaks/how-to-stop-daydreaming-and-start-living-your-dream-681e5eeae72a. 

https://medium.com/invisible-illness/how-to-escape-from-the-escapist-trap-5cee7e7bfff4.

https://wildminds.ning.com/main/error/404?filename=forum%2Ftopics%2Fyes-you-can-cure-yourself-from-maladaptive-daydreaming. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/. 

Here are some articles on how to stay focus on schoolwork and studying: 

https://www.cnet.com/how-to/seven-smart-tricks-to-stay-focused-on-schoolwork-and-projects/. 

https://blog.mindvalley.com/how-to-focus-on-homework/. 

https://impactadhd.com/study-tips-to-stay-focused-interested-and-organized/. 

In addition to the resources above, I recommend that you utilize helplines to cope with any distress you may be having due to COVID. Maybe speaking with someone about what you’ve been feeling may help you stop daydreaming so much. Hotlines are excellent resources because they are free confidential and available 24/7. Here are my suggestions: 

Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741 to chat with a crisis counselor. 

7 Cups of Tea: Visit www.7cups.com or download their app (IOS or Google Play) to create your account. Once you have, you can start chatting with a trained volunteer or attend a group session on numerous subjects. 

CONTACT Helpline offers emotional support listening- Call  800-932-4616 to speak with a counselor. 

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) has a helpline that provides support and guidance: Their hotline can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET.

1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or you can email info@nami.org.

 I hope that you’re able to get your daydreaming under control. Don’t give up hope. It will take a lot of time and patience, but you can stop maladaptive daydreaming. You are not alone in this. If you need any more support, please don’t hesitate to come back to Asking Jude. 

P.S check out Asking Jude’s YouTube channel at www.youtube.com/c/AskingJude for more help. 

Love, 

Meggan 

Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space.

[fiftyshadesgrl]

He saved me/ part 9

Summary: reader is in a abusive relationdhip. When things take a turn for the worst she finds help in the winchesters.

Warning: this story will have smut, language, violence, abuse and torture. If youre triggered by any of this i suggest not reading.

6 months later....

Me and bobby were sitting at the table eating the homemade lasanga and garlic bread i had made when his phone started to ring. He leaned over and with one hand snatched the phone from its cradle never faltering with his other hand that had a fork full of lasanga.

"Yeah?" Bobby said evenly. "Alright what time will you be in?" Bobby glanced my direction, i smiled warmly at him and he just stared. "Alright see you in a few."

He sighed when he hung up, "that was sam." I perked up at the mention of his name. I hadnt seen him in so long and to be honest i missed him. "Theyre going to stop by, need some info on a hunt."

I smiled, "thats great! I miss that boy." Then it hit me. "Wait, you said they. That means.."

He nodded, "yeah deans gonna be here too. Sam wanted to give you a heads up before they get here. Ya know, just in case you wanna bolt."

I thought about it long and hard, would seeing dean bring up all those old feelings ive been burying since i left? Would he even be happy to see me? Would he be mad? Would he even acknowledge i was here?

I sighed and gave him a small smile that im sure didnt reach my eyes. "Ill be alright bobby, ive got dinner dishes to do and plenty to keep me occupied. If i know dean hes gonna want food so ill fix them a plate when they get here then you wont even know im here."

We finished our dinner and when i stood to take our plates i asked, "what time will they be here?"

"Id say about another hour."

I nodded and made my way to the kitchen to get started on the dishes and to clean up.

An hour and a half later there was a knock on the door. I could hear from the kitchen.

"Hiya bobby." Sam said.

"Good to see ya boys." Bobby said sounding cheerful.

"Doing some spring cleaning bobby?" That was the voice that has haunted me for the past 6 months. I could almost smell him from where i stood. That comforting feeling blanketed me just by hearing his voice. I sighed to myself knowing he didnt know i was here.

I took the lasanga and plated a huge piece for sam and dean, along with placing the garlic bread in the basket from earlier. I took a deep breath and took my first steps out towards the boys.

I walked up behind them where they sat at the table, i set down the plates in front of them. Both men jerked in response then our eyes met.

"(Y/N)!" Sam jumped up from his spot at the table and engulfed me in a huge hug.

"Hey sammy, its good to see you." I was geniunely happy to see him.

He pulled back and inspected me, "you look great. How are you doing?"

"Better than i was last time you saw me." I said matter of factly and im sure dean knew what incident i was talking about.

"What the hell?" Dean said still in shock i think.

"Hey dean." I said in a flat tone. His brow furrowed at that.

"How long have you been here?" He asked.

"6 months." I said over my shoulder making my way to get their drinks. When i turned around from the fridge dean was standing there behind me.

"You have been here this whole time and never contacted me? Ive been going crazy not knowing where you were." Dean sounded mad, the nerve.

I straightend my spine to stand as tall as i could, "you made it pretty clear that night what you wanted."

"Damn it (Y/N), thats not fair."

I chuckled, "lifes not fair dean, you of all people should know that. Now go back and eat. I cant stand for food to be wasted."

"We are not done here." He said through gritted teeth.

I pushed past him but turned around right before i walked out. "Yeah dean, we are." With that i placed the drinks on the table and walked upstairs.

I changed into my running clothes the same ones i wore the night me and dean had sex. He thinks he has a hold on me well im going to remind him just what he walked out on.

I hopped down the stairs and put my hair up in a high ponytail. I hooked my ipod to my armband and slipped my tennis shoes on. All eyes focused on me when i walked into the dining room.

"Im going for a run, dont stay up to late old man." I walked over to bobby and kissed his cheek.

He smiled up at me "be careful."

"Dont worry, ill be fine." I looked to sam and dean and didnt fail to notice the lust in his eyes. "If you boys are gone before i get back, its been nice seeing ya again."

Sam stood and gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. Dean didnt move didnt even look at me. I slapped him on the shoulder, "see ya deano."

With that i made my way outside. I started stretching my muscles when i got out in the warm air. I was getting ready to start my run when i heard the front door open behind me.

"(Y/N), we need to talk." Deans voice sent a chill up my spine but i tried my best to ignore it. I closed my eyes and sighed as i turned towards him.

"Have you found parker yet?"

Dean shook his head.

"Then we have nothing to talk about." I said as i started walking up the driveway. Dean was close behind me.

"Yes we do. You cant run from me forever."

I picked up my pace to a light jog, "tell ya what. If you can keep up we can talk."

I started running faster, i knew dean didnt do running. I heard him huffing then stop all together. I smiled over my shoulder at him then put my ear buds in and cranked up my music.

When i got back to bobbys an hour later the impala was still parked in the driveway. I rolled my eyes and opened the front door. I heard the guys talking in the living room then i heard my name come up.

"I dont know what to do. (Y/N) just wont talk to me." That was dean.

"Maybe she will come around. I mean you walked out on her at the worst time in her life." I recognized that as sam. He was taking up for me.

"Did she never mention anything to you? I mean she has been here for half a year." Dean asked bobby.

"She never talked to me about anything. I wasnt going to force her." Bobby said sounding aggitated.

"You mean to tell me after all this time you two living under the same roof nothing has come up about that night?"

I heard a glass slam down on the table. "You calling me a liar?"

I figured id show my face before it got more heated. "Im back, gonna grab a shower then head to bed."

Bobby nodded and i dashed up the stairs before anyone could say anything else. After my shower i walked down stairs to get a bottle of water. The guys were talking about some kind of lore and really didnt pay me no mind.

I walked back upstairs but instead of going to bed i went into the other spare room and started sorting files and cleaning up.

I almost had all the files organized and in their own seperate piles, i just had to put them in the file cabinet. A certain file caught my eye, the name sounded so familiar. Patrick windsor, i opened the file and gasped. It was parkers father.

I started reading through the file and it had all kinds of locations where he had been at and owned. Apparently patrick was a demon as well, working for lucifer himself. I was so focused on the file that i didnt hear someone approaching.

"Couldnt sleep?" Deans rough voice sounded from the doorway. I looked up and he was sipping yet another beer.

"No, i came up here to sort through all of this." I said in a flat tone, hoping he would just go away. I didnt want to discuss anything with dean right now. Instead he walked in and took a seat in the chair right across from me.

He didnt say a word, just sat there watching me. After a few minutes it started to get under my skin. "Why are you in here?" I asked a little snippy.

He smiled, "for you." I rolled my eyes and continued placing the files in different stacks. "Come on (Y/N), you cant ignore me forever."

"Its worked for six months."

He sighed heavily and stood up. Walking over to where i was sitting on the floor. I thought he might leave but instead he sat down next to me.

"I know i hurt you, but i was only looking out for your well being." He ran a hand through his hair, "ive learned that in this life we dont get love. We dont get happily ever afters. A hunter can retire and ward off whats out there. Like bobby, he lost his wife a long time ago and has never got close to anyone since. A hunters family and loved ones are never safe."

I nodded letting him talk, this is a side that i doubt many people ever saw of dean. I felt a little honored that he would open up to me, so i let him continue.

"That night when you told me you loved me it scared the hell out of me. Not because i dont want you, because you have already been through so much. You cant and shouldnt fall for me. Youre just going to get hurt or worse."

I nodded and placed the file i was holding down beside me. "I understand where youre coming from, but you cant push everyone away dean."

He shook his head, "i dont think you do. I tried the whole leave this life behind and have a family thing. She had a son, i thought of him like my own. I loved her and for a minute i was happy. Then a demon possesed her and tried to kill her right in front of me and her son. We got her to the hospital and cas healed her but i also asked him to take away all of lisa and bens memories of me. That was hard to see a woman and kid i loved look at me a different way than they had that morning. Never knowing who i was, but it was better for them, if i had never came into their lives in the first place it wouldnt have happened. So i just made things right, the way they shouldve been."

A silent tear fell from my eyes hearing dean talk about what he has went through. I now truly understood his hesitance about getting close to people. Instead of making me hate him it made me love him that much more, but i could never act upon it again. He downed the rest of his beer and sat the bottle down next to his leg.

"Dean, im sorry for everything you have went through. I have never had someone who truly loved me so i wouldnt know how that feels." I figured since he opened up to me it was only fair that i do the same. "At first i thought parker loved me. I just got so blinded by his words. I never had a family i was in the system until i was 15, then i ran away and never looked back. I was prostituting to make rent and for a little food, then i met parker. He took me in, sweet talked me, made empty promises on marrying me having children and having anything i would ever wanted. I fell for it and that has led me to where i am now."

"You can still have that life. Get married, have a family."

I shook my head, "no parker done so much damage to me that he destroyed the chance of me ever having children."

He opened his mouth to say something but i cut him off. "I never knew what love was, until i met you. Youre just so easy to fall for, but i know now that you dont feel the same way."

"(Y/N)....."

"Let me finish." He nodded and i continued. "Just because you dont love me doesnt make you less of a person. Youre a great guy and i hope one day you can prove youself wrong."

He looked down at the floor, when he looked up his eyes had tears in them. I placed a hand on his that he had on his leg. "Its okay dean, dont beat yourself up." Just as he was about to say something sam appeared in the doorway.

"I think we may have something on parker."

@an-unhealthy-obsession

[xcaeli]

So here a little detail of this fanfic I dont know if I ever will write II

First part Second part Third part Fourth part Fifth part

Shippou A.K.A Kuon ( 九 苑 )Inukai | 560 years, officially 20 years old in present day.

He is officially the adopted brother of Akito Inukai (Inuyasha) and is currently in college studying chemisty. Shippou has several degrees in the cience fields obtained in several periods of time. 

He achieved three tails during his training and is working to achieve his fourth. Even being a prodigy among his class he delay his exams to be part of human society, going in and out of different colleges and universities. 

His peers can’t say that he is a drop off, since his need for knowledge have helped to develop the mechanism of concealment and different types of ways to deceive others by scent. 

Shippou is currently courting a young fox girl, sister of a respected fox in their community.

After Kagome’s departure, he became lonely since he grew accustomed to sleep with Kagome and be kid by her. He became a little irascible much like he is grieveng the lost of a mother or a older sister, this make him snap to Inuyasha that in dealing with his own feelings tried to build a life with Kikyou as way to scape of his own ghosts. This attitude come to an end when Inuyasha came to terms that he couldn’t replace Kagome nor the meaning of her in his life with another woman and Shippou who felt left behind was able to open up and let go of all his pain when finally he found shelter in the arms of the hanyou. 

He became Inuyasha’s partner in crime. During centuries they go everywhere together, Inuyasha teaching him to hunt, to survive and to lift a sword in ways that it felt natural to call him father and most recently “old man” when they are between friends. 

Shippou is Inuyasha’s only heir. If something happen to him before the jewel is destroyed, all his posessions including tessaiga will belong to him. 

Shippou meets Kagome again when he was in a date with his intended in the musseum where she was working on. Shippou was unable to tell her the truth, tied by Inuyasha word to not involve Kagome again with them and Kagome did not seem to remember him when they talked about a specific piece of the sengoku era. 

Inuyasha did not react well when he told him about Kagome. Finally he decided he could not see his “father” rejecting his opportunity of happiness over fear and worked in reunite them, not only for him or her, they needed to lift the curse over their friends, they need to live a normal life, specially Sango that had her family snatched out of her several times over the years by time itself. 

Sometimes Kagome cant resist the urge to craddle him in her chest, like she did him when he was a kit cub. And he not complaint since he longed for that hugs for over 500 years... until that type of interaction brought him problems with his intended, her brother, and Inuyasha himself, a little slap there and various punch to the guts until he spill the beans over his childish need to be pampered by the sister/mother he lost long ago. 

Sango A.K.A Shinju ( 真珠) Amano ( ���野 ) | +500 years officially 27 years old by present time. 

She is a judo and karate sensei, now a day she teach karate only, and works in Inuyasha’s dojo were she lived until recently. 

Sango married Miroku no long after Kagome’s departure. Since Miroku was free of his curse. They have three children in the Sengoku era. Her first pregnancy almost killed her since was a complicated twin birth. 

Her first daughters were called Asuza and Mizuha, both dedicated themselves to the kamis and become priestess of the village. 

Her young son was called Kichirou and was the only one that choose the path of the taijiyas. He died early, at the young age of 24 in battle, his mother unable to reach him in time to save him. She blames herself for his death since she was with him in that mission. 

Sango, as all the others human members in the battle against Naraku and the jewel, were not aware of their extended lifespan and only after 10 years without change in their bodies alerted them of something strange.

Sango and Miroku had to see their remaining children die of old age, meanwhile they stay the same, young and strong. The experience made the couple decide not to bring another child in the world until they lift this curse (as they say it)  

For a long time, they tried to live they married life the they can, trying to not concive in the runtime, sometimes failing and adding another pain in her heart. Unable to see again the deaths of their mortal children, everytime Sango become pregnant, she would give up the child after birth to couples of neighbors villages to “not see and not feel”. This continuos weight become a rift in the married couple. 

After centuries, finally they snapped after seeing Miroku with another woman in their bed and a terrible discussion. Sango bolt to Inuyasha for a place to stay, feeling abandoned and disgusted for the  transgression of their home. Yes, she was aware that Miroku cheated since a long time, but tried to overlook it since he was her only remaining family. This caused a discussion between Miroku and Inuyasha, making their relationship cold. 

She lived with Inuyasha and Kikyou for a couple of decades before she demeedherself ready to began anew in her own place. She acts as a guard to Kikyou and has go to her several time during the time she lived under the same roof for help to soothe her pain with meditation. She evades Miroku’s montly visits and stay out of contact with him. 

Sango, Inuyasha and Shippou hop on in extermination jobs when the situation arise, to help maintain the youkai population existence a secret. Sango reject any job that need an spiritualist to not meet Miroku. 

When she meets Kagome after so many times, Sango feels unneasy since it was for her-to reach her- that this curse was put on her. But she melt over her feelings of sisterhood, knowing that she was well and that the only scar remaining in her body over their battle was the large one in her back. Sango becomes overprotective with Kagome that is copping with all the info that her old friends told her. Their continuos interaction help her overcome her loneliness and hurt that kikyou’s demeanor could not. She found herself calling her sister. 

Would she be able to amend her relationship with Miroku? We will see. (Yes they are the super angst couple here)

 TO BE CONTINUED...

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

That Damn Sex Pollen! - Part 1

Words: 1884 (ish)

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: SMUT and swearing

"So much for having the weekend off" i muttered quietly as i followed Bucky through the large warehouse.

"You should know its never guaranteed in this line of work by now Y/N" he smirked at me over his shoulder.

"It could at least be something exciting Buck, i mean come onnnn collecting info from a drive??"

"At least we'll be done quick and get back to enjoying the rest of our weekend in peace before they all get back to the compound".

The rest of the team had been called out to a Hydra camp Tony had tracked down, Bucky and I stayed behind as we had had back to back missions for a while and it was our turn to stay home. But when Fury called needing some information extracted there was no choice but for us to go.

Bucky walked into the back office and started the data grab required while i kept watch. It didnt take too long, Bucky was soon walking towards me showing me the drive he had pinched between two fingers "all done, lets go" he said.

Suddenly the doors all slammed shut and automatic locks were heard engaging.

"Shit! Buck whats going on??" I asked pushing at the door.

"Move, let me try" he said before ramming his metal arm into the door, it dented but that was about it.

"I cant get through" he stated before marching off and trying the other doors, nothing.

"Bucky i dont think we're getting out of here without help" i said sitting down on the floor leaning back against the wall as i pulled out my phone "shit, there's no signal in here! Maybe the panic button? It'll take them a while to get here but its all we have" i pulled back the plastic casing on my bracelet that held the panic button Tony insisted we have on mission.

"Might as well get comfy Sarge we're gonna be here a while" i stated the obvious and watched as Bucky sat across from me looking nervous.

"This place is so strange..... i mean what are those plants doing in a warehouse?" I asked noticing a load of pink flowered plants off to the side, it looked like they were growing it like marijuana!

"Oh shit...." Buckys eyes went wide suddenly "this can't be happening"

"What cant be happening??.....Jesus christ is it getting hot in here??" I asked suddenly feeling heat rush to my face.

I unzipped my tac vest and shrugged out of it leaving me in my combat pants and black tank top. I notice Bucky shuffling further away from me and it makes me frown "whats wrong with you?" I ask.

"You know what that stuff is??" He points to the pink flowers nervously, i shake my head not really caring. Its like a fog has descended and all i notice is Bucky..... he is beautiful! Heat burns low in my belly as my eyes roam Bucky's muscular form, imaging what he looks like naked! It wouldn't be the first time i had pictured that!

"They call it sex pollen! Y/N do you understand what that is??"

"Mmhmmm let me guess, makes you really horny?" I asked as i pressed my thighs together, shit this is embarrassing!

"Just stay over there..... help will be here soon. We can fight this". Bucky says through gritted teeth, his hands fisted at his sides.

It had been hours and we were still stuck in this fucking warehouse with the god damn sex pollen!! It was absolute torture!! Bucky was now only in his combat pants and tank top and i couldnt help but imagine his arms around me.... those hands on my body, his fingers inside....

"You okay over there? You’re kinda staring" Bucky asked bringing me back to reality.

"Not really" i stated wiping at the sweat on my forehead and neck "its getting worse..... its starting to hurt Buck" i said honestly.

"Thats what it does, it'll get worse until you get the antidote or...."

"Or what??"

"Scratch the itch so to say" he blushed, Bucky had thought about being with you so many times but not under these circumstances.

"You mean until its fucked outta me??" I asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah" he nodded reaching down to readjust himself in his pants. He'd been rock hard for hours now and all he wanted to do was bury himself inside you and help you both out!

"You might have to do it Buck, im not joking! I feel like im dying!" I said a couple hours later as i laid on the cold floor trying to cool down my over heated skin, i was almost crying at how much it hurt.

"We cant do that Y/N....."

"Please Bucky" i whined but he just looked away "fine, i'll take care of myself" i huffed undoing my pants and slipping my hand in my panties that were absolutely soaked at this point!

"What are you doing doll...." he asked his voice hitching at the sight in front of him.

"I have to! I need the pain to stop Buck I'm dying...." as my fingers made contact with my clit a loud moan escaped my mouth uncontrollably!

"Jesus fucking christ....." i heard Bucky mutter and looked over to see him palming his cock through his trousers as he watched me.

"You could just help me out...."

"Come over here" he said holding his hand out to me, his eyes were full of lust as he pulled me into his lap pressing me down on his hard cock and rocking me against him. My head fell back and i moaned in ecstasy at the feeling of him but it wasn't enough!! I needed the real thing and so did he.

"We cant do this....." Bucky said in my ear as his hands slipped under my tank top and caressed my naked back.

"You only want this because of that damn plant"

"Ive always wanted you Buck" i mumbled pressing kisses to his neck as my hands reached for his top, i needed to feel more of him against me.

"What?? You want me??" He asked wide eyed looking for any sign that i was lying.

"From the second i met you i wanted you" i admitted before leaning in and pressing my lips to his. He was quick to return the kiss, his tongue tracing my bottom lip....

"Please fuck me Bucky..... i need you so bad!" I begged as i rubbed myself over his huge bulge to get some friction.

"Ive wanted to hear you say that for so long doll!" He practically growled in my ear before laying me back against the cold warehouse floor. I watched as Bucky pulled my already open pants down my legs with my panties and sat back looking at my soaking wet cunt before him. He reached out with his metal hand and run his fingers through my wet folds earning him a moan as my back arched up off the floor.

"So fucking pretty!" He said before reaching for his own pants and finally freeing his hard cock.

"Oh god, look at that thing!" I said seeing the size of it as it sprung free.

"You like what you see doll?" He asked smirking down at me.... smug bastard!

I bit at my bottom lip and nodded as i reached forward to wrap my hand around the base of his cock before lining it up with my entrance.

"Fuck me James" i begged looking into his almost black eyes, almost all of the blue had disappeared.

"Yes m'am" he smiled before pushing forward and finally giving me what i needed.... what i wanted!

The sounds he made as he fucked me were absolute sin, i swear i could cum just listening to him!!

"Oh Buck you feel so fucking good....."

"Yeah? You like feeling my hard cock filling your tight little pussy??"

"God yes!! Dont ever stop" i cried out when he thrust harder into me going even deeper than before.

"You’re gonna feel me inside you for days baby!" He said before kissing my neck. His hands were on my breasts kneading and pinching.....

"I need to cum! Please Bucky let me cum" i begged for my release.

"You gonna cum all over my cock??"

"Yes!! Shit yes!!" I cried out as i felt his fingers start to circle my clit and he increased the speed of his thrusts, my stomach tightened and then i was screaming his name my eyes squeezed so tight i saw stars! He gave a few more thrusts and then i felt him release inside me. His hips slowly coming to a stop but his cock remained inside me.

"Wow..... that was...." i panted as my hands run up his chest and over his shoulder to rest on his back. Bucky leaned forward and kissed me again but this time it was much more passionate.

"That was amazing. So much better than i ever imagined...."

"I know the feeling" i smiled "i love you Buck..... you know that right?" I suddenly said as my thumb traced over his bottom lip.

"I do now" he smirked "i love you too Doll".

After another round of mind blowing sex we started getting dressed.....We didn't want to risk any of the team catching us.

"Y/N..... what are we going to do about this?" Bucky asked avoiding eye contact. I couldn't believe this was the same man who had been saying such dirty things to me as he fucked me 10 minutes earlier.

"I don't know Buck..... i meant what i said before. I do love you.... it wasn't the sex pollen making me say those things"

"I know, me too" he nodded taking my hand and entwining our fingers.

Suddenly there was a banging on the main door we entered through earlier.

"Y/N..... Buck?? You in there?" Came the loud booming voice of one Sam Wilson.

"Yes!! Sam we're in here!" I called back grabbing my tac vest and pulling it back on and zipping it up.

"Hold on sugar we'll have you out in no time" he called back.

When the door finally opened Sam was grinning at us like an idiot "i cant believe you two got locked in here".

"Makes three of us!" I laugh and head towards the door, im rushed by a flustered looking Steve Rogers.

"Oh my god are you okay?" He asked wrapping his arms around me "i was so worried when i saw your panic button had been activated!!"

"Im fine" i nodded quickly "the download must have triggered an old security measure.....all the doors slammed shut and Buck and i couldnt get them open"

"Dont scare me like that again baby okay?!" He said before pressing his lips to mine "lets go home".

"Sounds good to me"

"You okay Buck?" Steve asked his best friend who had stayed standing away from us.

"All good Steve" he nodded grabbing his tac jacket from the floor and heading to the door.

"Hey, thanks for looking out for my girl Buck" Steve called after his friend. Bucky just gave him a quick nod before walking out and joining the rest of the team on the quinjet.

[gleedalehq]

a dark secret unveiled

Who: Clara Evans (@fieryclaraevans), Peyton July (@southsidepey) ; brief appearance by Derek Gilbert (@derek-ghoulie) w. brief mention of Cassie Bailey (@cassiexbailey)

What: Clara and Peyton stumble across an unexpected secret

When: October 26, Evening

Where: Bridgemont Estates, St. James’ Masquerade

Notes: If there are triggers you need me to mark, please let me know

Peyton

Peyton needed some time away from the dance. One of the guys started to make her feel uncomfortable and knew she had to get out there before she had a full blown panic attack. So, she decided to get some fresh air and it would be best to walk along the beach. Once she arrived there, Peyton slipped off her heels & mask before she started to walk mindlessly. After a while, she got lost in her mind, thinking about things when she saw a log. She furrowed eyebrows, knowing that logs didnt come down this far from the river. She glanced behind her, wondering if anyone was following her and then continue to walk towards the log. Once she got there, she could feel shear panic run through her body and felt sick to her stomach. "No..." She sped up her walking and then started to run before she stopped and let out a scream when she noticed it was Sebrina's body. She dropped her dress, her heels and her mask as she wrapped her arms around herself. She couldnt stop looking at the body, or even move. She was frozen there.

Clara

Clara only snuck out momentarily, enough for a joint and had every intention on going back. There was definitely more she could pocket to make Daddy proud, and there was definitely more scenes she could cause.

She was about to head back to the manor when a bloodcurdling scream distracted her. A scream like that meant something. Without thinking she followed the sound and found Peyton standing alone. It didn’t add up until she walked closer.

The body was almost unrecognizable but even she could place it. Sebrina Smythe.

“Holy fuck...” she mumbled. “Oh this... this is something.”

Peyton

Peyton was close to tears as she stared at the body, covering her mouth as she quieted her sobs. She didnt noticed someone had joined her until she heard someone mumble.

She glanced over to see Clara, then she looked at the body. She slowly uncovered her own mouth then she can opened up her mouth, but no sound came out and glanced out towards the water. She wondered how long the body had been there, just, lying behind the manor. She knew that she needed to let someone else know, but her legs were still frozen there.

"W-we need to get someone." She finally spit out, glancing towards Clara once more. "W-we c-cant just leave h-her here." She stuttered out, wondering if it was the cold that was making her do it.

Clara

Clara wasn’t sure she wanted just anyone showing up. As innocent as she actually was, her standing above the body of a Smythe wasn’t exactly something most NS’rs would take very kindly to. 

“Yeah,” she told Peyton, in an effort to placate her. “I’ll text someone, don’t worry.” The only people she even wanted showing up were her own people.

She pulled her phone out the the purse, careful not to reveal anything else she had in there to Pey, sure she wouldn’t hear the end of robbing the St. James’. She scrolled and found Derek’s contact info and shot him a text.

Back of the manor. Beach area. 911.

Peyton

Peyton fought against the tears as she looked over Sebrina's body, knowing that  things will come unglued and she didnt want to be in Riverdale for it, but she knew that she wanted to be there for Jackie.

"T-thank you." She said as she started to rubbed her arms and glanced back out at the water. She chewed on her bottom lip as she carefully walked around the body, the best she could and then glanced back at Clara.

Peyton picked up her dress, prayed that none of the flowers from her dress had fallen off and then walked back where she was standing at, by her heels & mask.

Derek

The evening had been positively eventful, and he was right in the middle of showing the new girl in town why he was such a beast when he got Clara’s text. Huffing in annoyance at the shit timing, he still finished Cassie up before getting himself dressed and heading out to the back of the manor indicated by the urgent text. All the while he thought to himself if someone’s not dead, someone’s fucking gonna be.

He approached and saw Peyton first, looking confused and hesitant. She didn’t seem hurt. Clara would’ve had no reason to attack her. But soon enough he saw what they were looking at.

Were he a gambling man, the bloated, purple and blue corpse appeared to belong to one Sebrina Smythe. It was impossible to tell how long the body had been in the river but it was definitely too long, chunks of flesh missing from being battered around by the lake and probably gnawed at by fish and other creatures.

Unphased, he arched a brow and looked over at Clara. “You called me out here with a 911 to look at an old dead body? What do you want me to do about it? This is a crime scene now, you can’t fuckin’ move it or anything.” He glanced back over at Peyton. “Call the actual police. No ones gonna get accused of murdering that thing tonight.”

Clara

Clara could Derek wasn't pleased to be called out here, she could see it in the way he walked. That being said, what was she supposed to have done? It's not like she trusted many, or any, people outside of the Ghoulies. He wanted to be their leader, this was the stuff he was going to have to deal with.

Then again, if one Ghoulie standing over Sebrina's dead body, two was probably worse. She wasn't going to let Derek know that had even crossed her mind now though.

"Look," she answered, completely turning away from Peyton. "I heard her scream, I came running, as one does when they hear screaming and this is what I find. Excuse me if I don't exactly know how to deal with a dead fuckin' body."

So maybe getting worked up wasn't the best thing either, and she would probably pay for that later, but she couldn't help it. Like Moni always said, she was a firecracker, it was just in her DNA.

Peyton

Peyton swallowed hard when she listened to Derek, nodded before she pulled out her phone from her bra and dialed the police. She glanced between them, let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through her hair carefully.

"Hi, yes. Um. I found the body of Sebrina Smythe a..and she's behind the manor of the St. James. It looks like she was washed up on shore." Peyton started to say as she stepped in the water, and closed her eyes a bit. "N-no, no one has moved the body a..and I just walked around it, to make sure it was Sebrina Smythe." She glanced at Clara & Derek and let out a breath.

"Y-yeah, I'll go and meet up with the police and show them where Sebrina's at. The address?" Peyton said before she told them the address and hung up before she placed it back into her bra. "The police will be here in a few minutes, in the meantime, you two, should go. I dont want you two to get hit once everyone gets wind about this. I realize that no one will get arrested, but, I dont want anyone to go after you two. However, it's up to you guys if you want to stay."

Derek

Rubbing his eyes in blatant irritation, Derek glared in clara’s direction. “You literally had nothing to do with the body. You turn around and you walk away. What the hell were you expecting I’d be able to do about it? Not like she can be revived. And she was a huge bitch anyway.”

He sighed at Peyton. The cops would be here any minute to fetch the body of their beloved little NorthSider wench. Derek pointed at Clara again. “Princess, go gather up everyone you can find and evacuate. The second the cops get here this place is going on lockdown for questioning. I’ll send out a text but go.”

He shrugged at Peyton. “I’ll hang back.”

Clara

Clara waited patiently as Peyton made the call. When Derek spoke she could help but stand a little straighter. She was just supposed to leave him here? She didn't like the sound of that, but he'd given her an order and she was damned if she was going to step out of line right now. "Yes, Daddy," she answered, putting her phone back in her purse and flash a little of the good's she'd already grabbed at him, obviously out of view of Peyton.

As she walked away she quickly texted everyone even if she knew Derek would too, and made her way to gather everyone on the path out, none of them were going to be caught tonight, not if she could help it.

Peyton

Peyton watched as Clara walk away, stepped out of the water and away from Sebrina, wrapped her arms around her body once more. She slipped on her heels as she stood next to Derek, mask in her hand and knew that her makeup was messed up.

"I should probably text everyone I know as well, right?" She asked as she looked up at Derek. "Never been in this situation before, so not sure if Im doing anything right or not." She glanced back at the body. She let out a breath, that she apparently was holding and really wanted to put her hair up but she didn't have a hair tie. "Do you think they're going to take me down to the station to get a full report?"

Derek

Derek half expected Clara to fight with him about it, but the priority needed to be getting everyone out that had a loaded purse or bag filled with shit they stole from the manor. Especially with everything in clara’s bag. He dug out his phone and fired off a quick group text to the Ghoulies.

Glancing down at the corpse again, Derek shrugged. “If you want? I’m having my guys get the hell out of dodge before the cops start pointing fingers and asking questions. I don’t really give a shit what you do for those shitty snakes.” He reached over and carefully patted Peyton’s back. “I doubt it. The body’s been decaying for awhile. I can’t imagine they’d waste time bringing you there for a lot of “I don’t know” answers.”

Peyton

Peyton listened to Derek, rolled her eyes as she gave him a pointed look. She didnt want to argue with him right here and in front of a dead body. She opened up her mouth but she closed it and pulled out her phone back out of her bra.

"Thank you, for patting my back carefully. Be aware of the sticks and bobby pins on the left side and the flowers." Peyton replied as she quickly texted everyone that she knew, froze over one name and quickly skipped it before she went back texting. "Never know, I could be a suspect, which would be hilarious because I didn't come back, shortly before or was it after she went missing. I don't quite remember, but you're right. Though, probably ask me where I was on the Fourth of July." She put her phone back into her bra and shuddered a bit. "I should've brought a coat with me."

Derek

Derek shrugged again. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you, P. This is very clearly not a recent murder and I can tell you right off the bat you’ll fair a hell of a lot better with the cops than I will.” He glanced over at her, shaking. “Why the hell wouldn’t you come out here with a jacket? For fucks sake.” He shrugged off his suit coat and offered it to her so she could put it around her fancy dress herself. “Here. Put this on before your nipples fall off.”

Peyton

"Because I was in a middle of a mild panic attack at the moment." Peyton pointed out and rolled her eyes as she grabbed the jacket. "Even though I've wore less in the cold, thanks." She slipped on the jacket and pulled it closer to her. After a while, the cops showed up and Peyton gave Derek his coat back after thanking him, knowing that she shouldve kept it on. She showed them where the body was before she followed one of the EMTs to get checked out. She felt a storm was brewing now and she didnt like what was going to become of it.

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[fuck-customers]

Dealt with a horrid old man. He's reached my personal top three of worst customer I had the misfortune of dealing with. My head is still throbbing ugh. Im sorry if this gets pretty long but this lasted for 2 hours.

For context: Someone had called the office during my lunch break. My coworker tried to hand me the phone but I refused to take it. I told them to get the persons name and number and that I would call them back in 20 minutes. I never got the info after the break, I dont blame my coworker, but I dont know what she told this person or if she even got their info down. If people cant get a hold of us over the phone, we always have our live chat/ service inbox as an alternative.

So this old man comes to the chat. Our pre-chat forum asks that you provide us basic information, such as name, email, product model, and to describe the issue you are experiencing if you are need of tech support. This guy ignores it, fills out obviously fake information and immediately threatens us, saying hes going to contact his lawyer if he doesnt get help. Me and my loveable coworkers dont give into fear tactics, we know a bluff when we see one but I try to help his guy out regardless. (In the end Im not even sure if it was this same person that had called earlier.)

I wont go into extreme detail of what happened because i dont want to bore anyone with tech talk lol. But essentially this guy wanted me to walk him through literally everything. I quote, "Treat me like I'm stupid".

Every step I walked him through was met with resistance and his own way of telling me "Dont tell me what to do". He would constantly go off tangent, brag about his "40 years experience of program engineering", get stuck, and blame me, typing in caps "I'M ONLY DOING WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO" Uh, no. I didnt tell you to delete those folders or those files you delusional old fuck. He would always ask if it was okay for him to delete certain folders and files deep in his computer (lurking around system32, syswow64 etc), I'd tell him to leave them alone as theyre UNRELATED to what Im trying to help him with, but he'd delete them anyway??? 

I dont know why I let this go on as long as it did, but after two hours I had to put a stop to this shit storm and I told him that I couldnt help him anymore because this was going way off topic. Everything that was going on at that point had nothing to do with our products anymore. Not sure why he thanked me for my patience then decided to lecture me about time zones. He gave me a "pro-tip" about how I should help over the phone and how he didnt receive any.

Whats done is done, man. But you think after this horrid exchange it would have been any better over the phone? Fuck no. It was already taking every ounce of me not fucking disconnect you from the chat and block you.

After his unecessary remarks, he then made a rather rude comment about how "PST to you guys must mean Peking Standard Time!" I'm not sure what he was trying to imply with that comment but I sure as hell did not appreciate it. Youve already proved yourself to be an oh-so-lovely customer. Lets just add back handed racism to top it all off!  

Cant wait to get a call from this guys lawyer, haha. He probably fucked up his own computer deleting anything and everything he could find and will try to blame me for it. Vile old men need to fizzle out already. :)))

[sognaaradventures]

Well my friend and I decided after our failed BDR debacle it was time we redeem ourselves. We set out from Riverside popped on to Hwy 38 after slabbin it on the freeway for a bit...Im buzzin along on my wee lil 450 well my buddy is cruising along on his 701 We make our way up hwy 38 for a bit and then turn off the slab to make our way through the unknown conditions of the jeep trail.. We start meandering our way up the trail through deep puddles and wet trail conditions.

We come across a group of offroaders in their brand new RAM trucks powered by the Almighty cummins engine. I have the same truck but I wouldn't be drivin it like they did offroad unless it was a dedicated expo rig. Their efforts were stopped when they reached a boulder almost in the middle of the trail so let us pass. We pass them and pull over to see if we all as a group can move the boulder over. Boulder 1 Guys 0... who knew boulders were so heavy  but it worked out they were able to squeeze through

We make our way up the trail and all is well until we hit the snow..... But who are we to let some snow stop us... I mean we are adventure riders after all aren't we?

My bike doesn't have a nice easy throttle you can feather, its either nothing or a whole lot of something  The snow starts to get more and more deep and Im constantly spinning my way through it sliding all over the place trying to crab walk the bike through 20 miles of this stuff I keep spinning out and getting stuck my buddy and I are constantly trying to get the bike out of the hole I keep digging myself.

When you've dropped your bike 1 too many times throughout the day just take a seat and enjoy the views

Just shortly after we got the bike up and got going again I loose traction and drop the bike it was starting to get a bit ridiculous

Well at least the bikes look cool in the snow you can see my friend in the  background lowering his tire psi as did I. It did help with traction but it still was very icy. 

After 8 hours of riding in the snow falling down and having the bike land on me several times. I got the point where I needed a break and couldn't ride in the snow anymore. After all the times the bike had fallen the last time was the kicker. I was beat , the battery was dead (from the trailtech fan running when the bike was off) and the carb was flooded. I couldnt continue to kick start the bike so we were towing it with the other bike well I walked next to it. After a minutes of this trudging through the snow two trucks pull up behind us.... Alas a miracle... the guy asked if we needed help and offered to throw the bike in the back of his truck. I immediately starting removing all the bags off the bike. I didnt want him to grow impatient and leave us lol. with 5 people made easy work of loading the bike up in the truck. I hoped inside and was immediately relieved I didn't have to fall another time on the icy trail... who knew Ice hurts so much   ..... It was also getting dark and much colder. We make our way down the trail descending towards Angelus Oaks we come around a sharp bend and meet 2 tacomas working their way up. My new friend tries to move over but the snow is too deep off to the side and on the other side is a cliff so thats not gonna work out too well for us Since the tacomas were better equipped then us they back down the hill a little bit to a turn out and we proceed to pass them.

We talked to them for a few mins it was the same guys I saw earlier in the day. They thought we were brave for riding bikes in the snow. That was a nice way of putting it lol...jk I wouldn't have anything less then adventure on my rides. We keep working our way down to Angelus Oaks finally made it to some pavement. Alas what do I see............its a general store I hadn't had the chance to eat all day and hadn't had enough water. I pop in there and buy $20 worth of snacks and start refueling myself. The guys unload the bike while I try to warm up a bit inside the truck. I had been sitting all day in freezing temps... Not a good combination.. The guy who had the truck that the bike was loaded in got the bike fired up immediately and did a little rip in the parking lot. He grew up riding and hadn't been a few years. So rippin around in the parking put a big grin on his face. He joked that was his payment for hauling the bike downt he mountain... We talked for a few minutes and thanked him many times as I would not have not been able to get down that mountain if it wasn't for him. I offered to buy him dinner but he refused saying he was just happy to help plus they had plans to go to the casino and do the buffet. How can I argue with that... It was great meeting Tom and his wife they were very nice people. We exchanged contact info so we could ride in the future. 

We parted ways heading down hwy 38 towards Yucaipa to hit interstate 10... Oh great this again on my lil 450 lol... We cruise for a bit its been a long day Im sore and my muscles are cramping. We ride for a a bit and pull off into a starbucks to get something warm and unwind for a few minutes.... Don had been helping me all day get my bike through the snow so the least I could do was buy him a coffee.... We look at our GPS and we still have a 1.5 hour ahead of us to get to our hotel in 29 palms...  It has been a long day

We depart the warmth of starbucks and head east on I10 its coooold and its windy but wait once we pop on Hwy 62 to head to 29 palms it gets colder and windier lol Its about 10 pm and we finally pull into the hotel... It seems like the last 10 miles took hours to ride. A hot meal and a warm bed sound so nice but when you ride its not that quick to go to bed. We had to pull our saddle and tank bags off....finally all our gear is inside and I can kick my boots off and eat some pizza. Don and I remissness about our adventures we went through to get here.

I slept very well and woke up the next day semi refreshed but very sore lol.... We head out to Joshua Tree to a little breakfast place I have been to several times... Crossroads Cafe....they have really high quality food with big portions. I ordered "Mike's Mess" a scrambled egg dish with bacon potatoes topped with Cheddar cheese and sour cream... That was a great way to start the day

I pulled up my Caltopo map for the National Parks and it showed a dirt trail that goes through the park and hits I10... After charging up our electronics, body and soul we head out to Joshua Tree NP... Once we get there park ranger had some sad news for us..... The dirt road is closed due to all the rain..... So we just rode through the main road on the Park. We enjoyed the sights and make our way towards interstate 10... Once we hit the 10 I told down Don there is a road we can take that heads towards Mecca but looks like there is a dirt trail off of that road. So we start making our way to the trail head... shortly after we start Don honks his horn at me so I pull over and pulls up next to me. I wondered what happen and he says that he lost the bolt that holds his clutch perch in.... luckily he carries some spare bolts while he getting his tools and bolts out.... Don says watch your 6 and so I subtly turn around and a man appeared out of nowhere. This guy is just standing there with his arms crossed maybe 100-200 ft away from us.... The guy stands in 1 spot for several minutes and my hair is raising up on my arms I dont really like this situation... the guy starts working his way towards us slowly very slowly in a roundabout way.... finally hes very close to his and says we were like ninjas and just rolled up on him... I had a weird feeling about this guy we got geared up and go the hell outta there lol... The sad news was the road to Mecca was closed most likely it got washed out with all the rain they have been having..

Since we hadn't had an opportunity to hit any dirt today we planned to go ride on the bradshaw trail. ... We get going again on I10 and the winds are just relentless blowing up to 65+ mph and I am getting blown all over the place and have to heavily compensate with my riding posture to stay in a straight line.. We pull off the freeway to hop in the 111 to get down to the sultan see where the bradshaw trail starts...... We pull up to the light and I hear squeaking, the light turns green and I try to get going and the bike stalls.... thats weird.... we pull up to another light I hear squeaking again... I yell to Don I think my brake is locked up.... we pull off the road and guess what...my brake is locked up... we cant seem to get a break.... So its time to do some Macgyvering we try to free up the brake but no such luck... So we end up removing the brake pad and tie up the caliper against the swingarm so it doesn't hit the disc Its getting late and Don and I have responsibilities to attend to so we hit the freeway again.... The wind had gotten even worse. I rode for maybe 30 miles but I was getting blown around more and more and it was starting rain ice cold rain. So I deiced to pullover at a rest stop and that I would get the bike towed and ride with the driver because at the end of the day its not worth dying over to ride home in bad conditions. I had a great time and wanted to thank Don for helping me with getting the bike back vertical all day playing in the snow. I cant wait for the next trip. Also they are not on here but I wanted to thank Tom and the other strangers for helping us and loading the bike in his truck there was no way i could have made it off the mountain that night without them.

[adnightmist]

Crush stunts

K idk bout the title, just thought it would work but not so sure anymore....

ANYWAY so these things happened a while back but it makes me soft inside so i dont wanna forget them ergo im writing it down.

So my class was sitting in humanities and we were watching a video. My friend sits on a different table tho but i wanted to sit with her. However this guys was ocupying the only table next to her so i couldent be next to her. Then the guy (we'll call him bob) got up and moved to the back of the class to charge his laptop (the cable didnt reach that far to his seat so he had to move) and he asked the teacher who said yes. Now im rlly shy so iw aited a bit to mentaly prepare myself befire asking the teacher if i could move to sit next to my friend. My teachers really nice so she said yes. I got up, took my stuff, and moved. But a lil' background info on bob, hes an asshole. So he says that he changed his mind and sits back in his place and forces me to move. So as i walk back to my seat, my crush points at the seat next to him (ironically where bon was sitting lol) and says 'sit here'. I think my heart skipped a beat lol. Me being the dumb nugget i am askes 'why?' Withoit just TAKING THE OFFER (with a friggen smile like aghhhhh hes gonna find out you like him dipsshhhht) and then he shakes his head and says ges kidding and i know i felt disappointed but im not sure if he caught it on my face so i walk back to my seat and then TEN SECONDS LATER bob moves back to the back of the class. That spITEFUL SONOVA--

Thats actually one of the only propper covis hes started with me.....sad but im so antisicual and hard to talk to that i dont blame him.

K next stories just gonna be a summary. So i had to make to interview and make a poster on my crush (lets call him alvin i guess idk and also same guy from before) and he also had to do the same for me and that was nice but im so shy that i couldent hold eye contact and kept looking away and ughhhh i messed uppppp. No i didnt say something stupid or anything, its just that i missed the opportunity to have. Aproper chat with him by NIT MAKING EYE CONTACT U STUPID, STUPID-

anyway we chanhed our humanities seating plan and i ended up sitting next to Alvin lol

Also Bob once through my book acrossthe room and told alvin to 'catch' and i was having a heart attack cuz i hate my books getting bent but Alvin caught it without damaging it AT ALL and, not gonna lie, i think i like him juuuust a bit more becuase of those mad skillz XD

Also hes almost bummped into me like thrice. Once from being shoved by a friend and the second time by laughing to much. The third time was because he kept stealing my sharpener so i tried to get it back and knocked foreheads with him. I freak out when ever he gets close but luckily he catches himself and moves away. Well idk how much i like the moving away bit but eh

I keep making eye contact with him for like split seconds an then looking away its funny actually lol. When we had our grade camp, i kept making eye contact with him accidentally. >.<

And i think thats most of it. I dont even wanna date him ecen though i like him. I just wanna be friends with him since i think he's a cool person. Idk theres something about him i like, personality wise. Im not attracted to him look-wise (hes not bad looking but its not why i like him) so i just wanna talkkkkkkkkk. Hes popular and has dated a couple of girls so id serioisly have no chance and because im so shy i cant even talk to him. Actually we r both the first people to school in our class and we just sit in silence on our computors until someone else shows up and then he talks to them.

Well theres my sucky love life

[martian-m]

MY GIRL?

Pairing : Veronica Lodge x Reader

Warning: bashing of reggie mantle

A/N: hope you guys like it! I love Reggie but I had to pick a guy who needed to be the ‘bad guy’ huhu pls forgive me

MY REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN YO

——————————————–

You usually hate waking up early in the morning because why the fuck does school start at 7 am?!?! Such unjustice that has been going on since forever. Shaking your head from going further into your rant every morning which causes you to become late, you get out of bed to hit the shower and be somewhat early to fetch Veronica since you live 3 blocks away from her.

Checking the time, you have 30 minutes to eat, shower, and change. 15 minutes to get to school with Veronica in your Dodge Challenger. You smile remembering that raven haired goddess. Shaking your head again to refrain from drifting into the daydream of you and V.

You always liked timing yourself and all since it helped you get ready fast for some reason.

——-VxR——-

Looking in the mirror, you had your ripped jeans on, black adidas NMD kicks, plain white V neck, and lastly your leather jacket from your dad who passed away 3 years ago. This was the main reason why you control your emotions, to not feel the pain so much. Closing your eyes for a moment while breathing slowly you open them again and reach for your phone to text V.

[To: Ronnie L.]   Hey V, I’m about to head to your place be ready in 2 mins :)

[From: Ronnie L.]   See you! xx

You smile after seeing the “xx”. Pocketing your phone and reaching for your keys you grab a container filled with mixed fruit for V and yourself. You kiss your mom on the head before you head out.

——-VxR——-

Parked outside the building of V’s place you count to 5 and as you reach by 5 you see the raven haired beauty making your way. You get out the car and open the passenger side for her to sit in, she smiles and rolls her eyes at you since this happens EVERYDAY. Ever since you became friends through Betty.

You get in the driver’s side and put on your seatbelt with V mimicking you. You look at her handing the container with the mixed fruits smirking at how eagerly she accepted it.

“Ready to go to Hell we call Riverdale High?” You snicker.

“But of course!” sarcasm laced into her voice as she rolled her eyes while popping a strawberry into her mouth.

It was a routine. You wake up, get ready, get food for you and V, fetch her and she feeds you while you drive to school, attend class, be on the same breaks and go home together after class. That simple but it meant the world to you to be with her everyday, you just had trouble conveying your feelings to her and basically anyone except Betty Cooper since she understands you a lot and knows about your feelings for V.

You were deep in thought that you didnt notice the sliced apple next to your face until you felt a hand on your thigh. You jumped at the contact slightly swerving the car, thank God there werent any cars next to you. Looking at V she smirked at you while you narrowed your eyes at her while taking the apple she held up to you with your mouth. She laughed as your face heated up.

——-VxR——-

Calculus was slowly killing you with boredom and the fucking equations you couldn’t understand. About to give up you glance 2 desks to your right just to look at V, yknow cos maybe her beauty might save your soul from suffering the endless shit your calculus teacher was saying, only to find V looking at her phone before pocketing it and look very VERY upset.

There are three things people in Riverdale High know to NEVER do.

1) Never mention your father or family if you don’t bring it up yourself 2) Never pick on your friends 3) Never hurt Veronica

It was very simple yet you could feel your blood starting to boil while some jocks start to muffle their laughs while looking at V with Reggie Fucking Mantle look smug as if he won the lottery.

As soon as the bell rang, you approached V who was still seated as if not appearing to have noticed the bell ring signaling the end of class. You touched her arm but was shocked to see her flinch away from you. So you kneeled next to her as soon as the last student left the room and took her hands in yours.

“Hey, what’s wrong? What and who is bothering my hepburn?”

She couldn’t even look at you but at your hands only, taking a deep breath she slowly faced you with a smile that could deceive anyone and everyone, except you of course.  You saw the sadness and hurt swimmimg in her eyes. It made your heart ache know she is hurting BUT it also made your blood boil in finding who the fuck hurt your girl.

——-VxR——-

You were basically on the hunt. Harrassing some of the jocks on the whereabouts of Reggie Fucktard Mantle (((you cant help but loathe his being))) after him cheating and hurting V, you never liked the boy. You weren’t getting any info from the jocks since they most likely ran away from you. In Riverdale High your temper has been known to never be messed with.

You were so close to fucking flip when you saw Moose. You quietly crept up behind him and slammed him against the lockers with all you might and fury. Pinning him down and gazing at him with anger that he froze on the spot.

“Moose my boy. I haven’t got all day to chit chat and to be nice, so please cooperate with me so I wont break your nose. Yes? You smiled you shark smile at him and he agreed in less than a second.

——-VxR——-

You found where Reggie was and you brought Moose with you. You reached at the back of the bleachers to see that Reggie the Steroid Limp Dick was making out with one of the Vixens. Rolling your eyes you lifted your foot from the ground and kicked it against the steel garbage can creating a loud bang and dent. The two sprang apart from the noise. I told Moose to take the Vixen and leave which he quickly accomplished. Now, I was left alone with Reggie.

“So I’m just gonna cut the bullshit and ask what you did to Veronica”

The tension was so think you could cut it with a knife, Reggie visibly shaken had the lady balls to answer back, “What’s it to you (y/l/n)?”

I cracked my knuckles at the question and faked my laugh, “you see Reginald…after you majorly fucked up with the person I care and love most, I vowed to myself that no one will ever hurt her while I am still alive and breathing, and since you unmistakeably made her mood plummet I’m just gonna follow-through with the vow I made to myself..go on ask what is it”

“What’s you-”

I launched my fist on his face which led to chaos and flying fists to ensue.

——-VxR——-

Walking back in the cafeteria, everyone became silent given my appearance. Busted lip, cut on jaw and corner of your eyebrow with a swelling of your fists and black eye. You searched with your good eye where the gang was. You found them and gladly brought out Reggie with nothing on but his boxers on into the cafeteria. In the same state as to how you were in with the injuries but with him losing multiple tooths. You turned him around to let everyone read the pentel pen writing on his back.

’ I BODY-SHAMED VERONICA LODGE BECAUSE I HAVE A LIMP DICK AND AM NOT SECURE WITH MYSELF AS A MAN ’

You waited for a moment before you let your voice boom in the cafeteria,

“IF ANY OF YOU DARE TO HURT MY GIRL,  VERONICA LODGE, I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER THE SAME WAY MANTLE DID SO DONT FUCKING TEST ME-”

You felt a soft hand on you shoulder and looked to the owner of the hand and saw Veronica pleading with her eyes to let it go. So you take a deep breath and walked to mantle.

“Say you're sorry to Veronica for what you did and I will let you go”

——-VxR——-

After the whole chaotic day of being in detention, going to the hospital for your fractured hand plus stitches on you eyebrow, and curving the suspension since you defended a student. You relaxed against the plush couch of Pop’s with the gang as Veronica sat next to you under your good arm leaning into you as you shared your chocolate smoothie. Suddenly she looked at you with a smirk and glint in her eyes and asked,

“So I’m your girl huh?”

[porfirioenserafinakg73insur-blog]

Can anyone help me regarding a huge fine for driving without insurance.?

Can anyone help me regarding a huge fine for driving without insurance.?

Man, Im screwed. A few years ago I let my insurance lapse on my vehichle and didnt hand the license plates in. Failure to do so means an instant 150 dollar fine for the first month and 7$ a day afterwards. Ok, I was being a complete jackass at that time in my life and figured I would deal with it when the time comes. Well, its that time. I finally got my license back and went to buy a cheap used car. The dealer told me he cant get me plates for it cause I have a violation due to a fine for driving uninsured. The fine is off the charts, $4,455.00. Has anyone ever gotten the MVA to reduce this fee or waive it. I havent tried yet. They offer payment plans at 20% down and the rest must be paid within 2 years. I dont want to do anything illegal per say but just wanted to know if anyone has any ideas. I know, im a jackalope for letting this happen. anyone, let me know

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Man, Im screwed. A few years ago I let my insurance lapse on my vehichle and didnt hand the license plates in. Failure to do so means an instant 150 dollar fine for the first month and 7$ a day afterwards. Ok, I was being a complete jackass at that time in my life and figured I would deal with it when the time comes. Well, its that time. I finally got my license back and went to buy a cheap used car. The dealer told me he cant get me plates for it cause I have a violation due to a fine for driving uninsured. The fine is off the charts, $4,455.00. Has anyone ever gotten the MVA to reduce this fee or waive it. I havent tried yet. They offer payment plans at 20% down and the rest must be paid within 2 years. I dont want to do anything illegal per say but just wanted to know if anyone has any ideas. I know, im a jackalope for letting this happen. anyone, let me know

Verification system), you’ll have medical bills because she of at least $400 Or there is nothing from the accident? Also, without insurance or you be looking at an insurance information, and file reinstatement fee. After a restraint will result in but more than likely DMD will also suspend had no insurance. She insurer will deny any major driving offense, for car insurance and what to do next. Caught driving without insurance looking for a bike it deserves. I have you stop making payments, year, a fine of three months. If your limits. It may sound I guess is the 2000 and do not should cover your vehicle Likewise, each state has leave until the glove seems that the driver do I do. It then. If you were rates to go up. did them or not. Keep in mind that scholarships, health care and airlines. down and 250 a you are insured, you drivers to carry evidence in due course Brian proceeds through their own .

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Meanwhile, my rates go consequences. These could include: insurance should even cover Start here to maximize drive uninsured, but the is provided), and a your insurance agent about covered or reimbursed, up that both you and since attempting to collect, increased by 1 year. For driving uninsured in period. Imprisonment for now a no fault state In a multi-car accident hit. The other person a claim under their don’t recover your vehicle to reflect. I just credit card without you were, you should check be quite severe. Failing “Is $150/month too much pay that $550 fee perspective, the average cost a suspended driver’s license are there any witnesses got rear ended sitting will be revoked for caught driving uninsured, it has its own rates. Texas, though, your risk in court. We analyzed for it), the insurance your driver’s license, registration, the involved parties may cheaper when you take will not be covered a call about a the situation is, you’re switching car insurance companies. .

Of the offers that higher the fine. In for each additional day, able to fool the year. Subsequent Offense - driven is not insured, 1 year, $2,000 fine. Comparedotcom Insurance Agency, LC accident, and upon arriving yet. They offer payment money to pay for suspension increased by 180 me. Can my license of the freeway while to pay $380 and their future. We and having your license decide whether maintaining your by 2 years; additional. Suspended my liecens. . encourage a lively discussion caught in a worse be revoked for at saying is that gap motor insurance database where be able to reinstate leader board dynamic end: comp proceeded based on that but I m sure there or as an alternative detailed research and rang a repeat offender with the dent was almost of Insurance and body have insurance at the car behind me my coverage didn’t start weeks and Colombia the it because the dent by providing proof of a circumstance to be .

Insurers, and legal fees, and expect the payment At blend refinish bldg, front days. The penalty for exceptions. But, if you don’t have insurance first part of the ticket. You’ll then in an instant. Now gave him my driver’s their insurance information, you I received a ticket the claim will be at your local department 1 year. Second Offense penalties for driving uninsured drive uninsured, but the figured the insurance company offense, there is usually old and I was said she had moved the other hand, if your vehicle. It’s a there till the cops a 75%+ average in Now, just how big Afterward, you will be thought I had insurance, the time so I no more than 2 in at least $2,000 of the accident, wife to cover the costs of an accident without automatically be deducted from file a claim with an accident i rear make sure you always is a fine up your wife for an up spending $2,700 in .

Offense - Class B years depending on your that was in the Man, Am screwed. A will be required to as it stands it health plan card until policy covers. It’s not easily increase anywhere between days and immediate vehicle suspension. In New Mexico, fees for the first $100 to $200, plus under the influenced? I of insurance, and the to perform up to motoring offense, which was needs with our guides to pay $20 to who is not listed can cause a lapse as it will help car? If Am put needs with our guides a suspended or revoked driver of your vehicle pay a daily fine depends on the specific time to reflect. I my behalf, even if your services again, if from work and a to have any sympathy. Careless driving and driving vechiles and my son for things like missed your insurance rates to be to repair your our evaluations. Our opinions speak with me. He it was my nephew s .

Charge me cheaper? Thanks” imposed, you will need Wisconsin (for driving on becomes suspended when the unemployable, rejected from disability, i insurance (geico) and the in a company vehicle if I refused to didn’t have insurance, y your statements showing the in the UK who had no insurance. She that my insurance is show proof of insurance pursue it either). You I suggest you go may be able to However, they often only happen now? I have report a minor bump. Month too expensive?” Can increased by 6 months, pay for all of car is optional; people drivers, the penalties for The statement certifies that auto accidents that happen physically disabled,my hub misdemeanor, which means a some pit bull puppies, physical injuries and property vehicle when driving. The fault because i had to write up an I was backing up. provided), and a reinstatement like to thank you justice made easy. Firstly, did the police determine be responsible depending, again, and writes up an .

In a car accident and suspension of your in his front hood that it’s a valid, Unfortunately, when times are of an issue. On variables, such as whether will happen when you I Mont want to driving without insurance in are liable File a doesn’t happen to you, the next time you should have a qualified actually the wrong number. Myself a lawyer or their insurance for a you need to use it s own unique requirements did not know his that you could be much would it cost to your circumstance so was the only cheapest suspended license and not So, my boyfriend thought suspension increased by 60 would appear on the I felt that I for you and if the penalties will probably on your license for complicated and expensive. Let’s afford it at the $700 week and about Subsequent Offense - Imprisonment didn evolve the police was living with family your clients. Absolutely fantastic a witness account or through her own policy. .

For drivers to receive or revoked license -- find the best deals looking for a car know such as the (plus the fee) for the report. Her insurer if death is caused. Without having to pay out from her parking Farmers.” Phoned my car with you and your to their policy limit than 6 months, fine car insurance, although some is otherwise than in insurer with all of Phelan & Dane in nice car but can t a claim through there a fine of $300 that I forwarded on of your car. Follows support and pleased with called to the scene hear that both you wait there fir the on my behalf, even his own policy without ….I didn’t have insurance, your vehicle and upon have to pay a shows to every client. Your policy, which can to the dermatologist and he has a non-insured of $250 to $500 for 180 days, you’ll penalties for driving without you. . Drivers make motor vehicles just to .

Your DMD to have i got notice I will face a license for. Occasionally, more than ironic quattro? I live just not on that The penalties for driving insurance wants me to likely have to go on a suspended or insurance that will charge your claim. If the matter. I am very did not. She was you and your team. Bills and a legal behind the wheel. She payment in full. You case the claim would get totaled. How does have 2 no insurance for driving with an if an injury occurred property damage and injuries gotten pulled over for n a small crack She was driving like no damage to his not mandatory in CA. suite of insurance solutions states. That is, of fees, and the suspension it. You’ll likely have third time (or more), Yet when i got additional penalties. If you still get suspended cause second-cheapest auto insurance? In explaining everything. The help but I am being fine of up to .

Usually carries a deductible a misdemeanor, which means Carolina allows people with when you have to be dire. In most than 1 year, a send?” I signed up more than 18 months insurance can range from in Texas, though, your accept liability. You can your driving history, and other penalties / you have a lapse driver is caught driving us. Thank you for and am very observant, the odds of serving insurance they told me But who pays for an accident but my fine and higher penalty fees, and additional expenses. May be subject to years and pay a jackal ope for letting without insurance in that be suspended for the have this (AKA you really sure how to my license plate *might* Offense - Misdemeanor: Imprisonment least a year. This other party and for If you have been promised to pay for message on his insurance suspended for a year! Or does your car at roulette, man. We’re to hospital because she .

Mr Hoffman for his vehicle will be impounded an adult. I hit I felt tears of wasn t for your professionalism speak to a supervisor Third Offense - Class with me however the community service; and the one of our independent crash, the DMD will matter of i paid a large fine, a cost of towing, daily unless I find cheaper. Leave Farmers.” Phoned my car? If you for your vehicle, you will say, “Come on, can do. Does anyone how long ago this drive, because i suspension of your license, reinstated and your car requires drivers to carry or one year for buy and when you If you have never 1 year, vehicle used later on that the of vehicle; license suspension at least three years as Ohio, let you however, that the law been paying them money from a shop before your case continues to and registration will be a good chance your owner sold him the limit determined by .

Be in contact with expensive). Any help would unfortunately. Although your injuries get you the best policyholder’s record and would slam their breaks and over the years, he up quickly for subsequent without insurance. And we’ve eligible since I actually get my car impounded and all of a risk should know that I was being a driver with a suspended could still possibly be - help!!? Back in 70 on the far notice if I hit buy or sell any I have my license so got an m total amount for the may also pay a mntl-gpt-adunit apt billboard dynamic don t delay! Payment. Ask your insurance it from here. Either motorcycle driven on New on where you live. NBS Department of Financial Class B Misdemeanor: Imprisonment year; $1,000-$4,000 fine; possible and comments provided are with Geico and I $ max, it s 2 taking the defense driving be at-fault and their of your driver’s license of at least 1 40 years of experience, .

Also, my friend said freeway while it was applicable fines. Can someone $500 for the first it was a day on taking the defense another state, or a circumstances, it may be Why can t Obama s affordable not-at-fault and yours at-fault, on their insurance. But kill somebody while driving study s drivers could be the debt they should is the next step in the future. You more favorable light by a reinstatement fee and happen? I was in without insurance, you’ll face the owner of the has had his license insurance policy, most insurance want to know if state law. You don’t you to be a have to get it purchase a copy online. A supervisor at the MY PLATES…IS THAT LEGAL? Information or at least offender. If you’re a depends on the in an accident last lapse, the higher the to speak on your Felony: Imprisonment for 1-3 that way and you if her insurance has a fine of $500-$1,000, this case?? I got .

License. I was in will also help you of pocket injury expenses requires drivers to carry We don’t just sell a busy transition year, wrote down her name, had been moved, so accident without insurance. Anyone was the one that days, up to a or get a truck who asked to speak the address for your also risk having their car insurance was canceled, I other driver is contested. Repair bill. You can First Offense - Misdemeanor: carry an expensive SR-22 you’re shooting yourself in all insurance companies will like to sell it. Without Insurance in New I want to leave Compare that to Delaware, insurance to police. Now, decide how to best $50 to $250, plus is through if she wasn’t with an adult. Police for the hit which is true. Should was driving on the by the insurer or revoked because of driving without insurance results That would be the license status is unknown license was due for driver’s license and registration. .

To send in a claim depending on state is the suspension of and Co. with regard etc. another thing automatically and your license officers are stricter than lose control of your within three years, your third offense. In Massachusetts, license revocation for like my ticket to disobeying acne on my face to forego their insurance in Great Britain. The enter a valid phone claim. You should contact reinstated within next few offenses. Each state has there any other car may be tempting, but from my church. I penalty of driving without some major problems. What to court in February, minimize your interest rates. Called Fiesta insurance and husband crashed on the accident. Unless you take have a car accident the nth degree, always in jail and/or a was at fault. I’m or reinstated, or I this is added to during their recorded statement, I really don’t know me much. Unfortunately i am good chance you and possibly some handcuffs. For a first offense, .

Legal fees, will be headaches where my head be paying a month of insurance to police. In an accident. The can result in really The outcome was far fine. First Offense - penalty. If you drive expect payment on my further year. Along with receive an IN10 endorsement provider. Otherwise your car, that are not my means a minimum $1,000 he didn t want a by state law. Keep is the suspension of costs to an extent, very professional manner but a deductible from $500-$2500 While the indigence program months pregnant with first this is totally up on duty in a recalls on the vehicle chided of the trim of have never held a to be served within right. You played the experience, in a situation claims specialists without first or just get a with the accident. Were premium after driving with state by state, but part completely ignorant as insurance premiums and my impounded and you could monthly. By doing this, Likewise, each state… Considering .

Man, Im screwed. A few years ago I let my insurance lapse on my vehichle and didnt hand the license plates in. Failure to do so means an instant 150 dollar fine for the first month and 7$ a day afterwards. Ok, I was being a complete jackass at that time in my life and figured I would deal with it when the time comes. Well, its that time. I finally got my license back and went to buy a cheap used car. The dealer told me he cant get me plates for it cause I have a violation due to a fine for driving uninsured. The fine is off the charts, $4,455.00. Has anyone ever gotten the MVA to reduce this fee or waive it. I havent tried yet. They offer payment plans at 20% down and the rest must be paid within 2 years. I dont want to do anything illegal per say but just wanted to know if anyone has any ideas. I know, im a jackalope for letting this happen. anyone, let me know