#dont hate on the other teams and dont engage with the people making fun of us

[iron-galliant]

Its not funny anymore. Sorry to my fellow frye fans we're about to see so many posts making fun of us being upset. Don't respond, just block them if they think its funny at this point. Also dont start anything with the other teams, we'll get them next time!

[hearts401]

grins at you do you wanna talk about how liz and evans relation ship would have grown and changed if they lived

YES I DO

First I wanna say

when they were kids Liz avoided both her brothers. they were obnoxious. the ones who got their family shot weird looks. She didnt want weird looks, and she certainly didnt want to be associated with the boys who made their family look like it was a mess.

But at home, she's chill to hang with them. michael and her get into a LOT of fights though, and shes pretty shitty to him specifically, since pushing his buttons is more fun and she hates him a lot more than she hates evan. michaels the one their father always has to complain about, and he's soooooooo annoying. if he starts something shes gonna finish it (bonus if she gets mike in trouble with will) but shes cool with them if theyre cool with her. she used to do their nails and makeup and whatnot before william told her to stop, though. she'll enjoy her hobbies with them, but she's not going to engage in theirs

As she gets older, her relationship with her father changed. the role of golden child becomes harder and harder to uphold until she finds she's hopelessly unhappy. her grades slip, she gets less and less attention from him and overall her happiness drops

at the same time evan is having the time of his life. his brother finally fucked off!!! he plays fucking. idk. basketball now!!! hes decided it was immature!!! fuck yeah win for the evan afton community

at the same time, hes making friends. hes getting along with the emilys lately, and theres a weird normalcy between him and mike. and also hes learning to get pushed around less and less.

Eventually, michael and evan arent lugged together anymore and liz is no longer isolated with her dad.

which means they finally have a reason to interact.

shes still so stubborn and snappy with him and her autism does NOT connect with his well (shes loud, excitable, low empathy, and bad with her tone of voice, while hes quiet, easily overstimulated, high empathy, and if you sound even remotely like ur mad at him he'll cry)

But they LIKE each other. like they dont click at all but they LIKE EACH OTHER.

so its a bit different from when they were kids. dont get me wrong, evan deserves better still, and liz is not the kindest, but shes nicer to him than most people.

and so elizabeth finds someone who really cares about her, and evan finds someone whos willing to try kindness with him.

all in all, they make a pretty good team. and while i think theyd eventually split their separate ways and get distant, they'd be able to fix it if they tried, yk?

where michael has years of making it up to evan, elizabeth just needs to show up. and be kind. and shes capable of both, even if she may not know it.

[voiceofsword]

sry to bitch in your inbox abt this but im so glad you pointed out how so many modern enstarries Dont read the stories and base everything off fandom perception.. i saw these users joking about which character would say slurs and someone was ADAMANT rinne would and tho i knew it before it Really struck me then

a) none of them have ever engaged with this text in any meaningful way, ESPECIALLY not the first games' stories, because surprise! characters in es! did Canonically use slurs! and back then Nobody Liked It. we didnt joke about it. most people i know completely stopped paying attention to the characters who did until they apologized. (tho ofc its more a problem w the writing than the characters, but still. we were young. we had the spirit.)

b) people really like using rinne as a punching bag because they dont read the stories and know literally nothing about him except funny drunk drugs gamble man "fuckboy" who harasses niki and the other bees and its. infuriating.

i dont understand how anyone can claim to like a media without ever properly engaging with it, i dont understand how people have fun misunderstanding characters so drastically, and i also think joking about slurs has gotten wayyy too normalized where people feel comfortable saying these things about these characters they allegedly like. and characters like rinne (with a constructed mask of obnoxiousness and such) are the perfect target for these people. which SUCKS. all of it sucks.

NEVER BE SORRY!!!! i hope this is alright to post i thought your ask was good and insightful and i'll add onto it a little bit with my own thoughts (heart emoji)

yeah um ! was definitely a ride. i wouldnt recommend it to everyone but at least we have hindsight and things like slurs and general offensive terms/behaviors can be warned for, so that much is nice. i remember being really upset about a few of these, and then getting back into enstars earlier this year and reading a few of the more current stories + !! stories i was happy to see that the writing has developed CONSIDERABLY in terms of this especially after beasts. something ive noticed a lot of newer fans do (referencing my previous post irt the feeling morally superior) is that if you like a specific character for whatever reason youre actually a horrible person because that character said something awful once. of course youre allowed to dislike characters for whatever reason but dont tell other people they should perish because they like them (as if liking them means you implicitly agree with said views, more often than not One line in a miriad of stories that you might not even have read). but like you said, characters making ignorant comments (an unfortunate occurrence, although rare, it still happens) is not a reflection of 2d pixels on a screen but rather a team of writers..... idk. its a complicated situation. i see both sides and i think people are justified in liking or disliking but this is a game about idol boys (and girl) got dam

yeah i hate how people treat rinne a lot. like because characters like him and eichi are villains that means everything that they do or say is, at worst, a straight, physical threat to everyone around them, or at best, an annoyance that can make the fandom feel justified in making them the butt of reoccurring jokes. idk what else to say about him that i havent said already but its also 3 am now and i SAID i was gonna go to sleep an hour ago but i think i might just be a filthy liar

ALSO its probably because enstars is long, there's a lot to read and although tl's arent necessarily hard to come by you actively have to seek them out. again i understand how this might be a nuisance but instead of sitting down and listening to summaries or analysis ive noticed that a lot of short form consumption content lends itself to people just. posting the most reactive interpretations, and people playing a game of telephone with said information until a lot of the fandom has come to accept this misinformation as true. LIKE SOMEONE ON TIKTOK SAYING HAJIME AND WATARU WERE RELATED? IDEK IF THAT WAS A JOKE OR NOT? and yeah the use of slurs is like ridiculously normalized now im not one to say whether people can or cannot reclaim slurs and people are free to do as they like if they can. i see this one thing specifically with tatsumi a lot where people jokingly bring up how said character is homophobic or make homophobic comments towards characters even if theyre being like. excited or happy. and idk. personally it makes me sad. like maybe its fandom culture now maybe im old (is 23)

WHY WOULD RINNE SAY SLURS HES LITERALLY GAY AND IN LOVE....COME AWN NOW

[bettermiya]

hi hi ! May I have a haikyuu guy matchup if they're still open? On the fluffier side pls (maybe a hint of hurt or angst somehow?)

I’m an introvert and have to go a few days without talking to people after prolonged socialising but I'm friendly and have no problem talking to strangers. My hobbies include gym, playing volleyball, and sleeping. I’m either active or in bed there is no in between lol. In terms of vibe, my friends tell me I have a princessy/bit of an airhead vibe since I dress girly and am a bit slow with jokes (I do study law though).

I'm ambitious (not to be the best but to be respected) and a perfectionist but laid-back a majority of the time. I'm usually ambivalent about most things and dont have a strong opinion about anything but when I fixate on something (like volleyball), I have to be GOOD at it and I can get obsessive doing that. I always look at the bright side of things and I love love supporting people in their passions. I don't like conflict but I don't have a problem facing it head on and prefer to talk it out rather than be passive aggressive about it.

I need someone protective and dominant though it doesn't have to be in-your-face dominant. I also need someone I admire. My love language giving is physical affection (since I hate it normally) and receiving is quality time (things like going grocery shopping together).

I haven't done an hq matchup in foreevver so hopefully this is open! Thanks !!

Iwaizumi Hajime has trained for this day.

Iwa understands from first hand experience how easy it can be to grow obsessive over something you are passionate about. That is what draws him to you, your passion and the way you support and celebrate others’ passions as well. He finds you practicing, having stumbled into the wrong gym or perhaps it was the right gym on the wrong day (although it seems to him that it was the right gym and the right day and the right time because that is how he found you.) It was an easy mistake to make; he was tired from chasing his captain around and simply followed the sounds of volleyball until he wandered into where you were practicing. Your skill and drive impress him, and he finds himself following your movements about the court with his eyes, studying your form and strengths.

“You’re really quite skilled.” He speaks in a low, but deeply sincere tone. He hovers there in awkward silence before thrusting out a hand to you in an effort to introduce himself properly. “Iwaizumi Hajime.” He is much better at communicating with his team. His only vague experience with romance is chasing off Oikawa’s fanbase when they rile Oikawa up too much. He isn’t quite sure how this sort of thing works, but he would rather look a bit foolish than dare to ask anyone on the team. (If Oikawa found out he likes someone and that he doesn’t know how to talk about such things, Iwaizumi would never hear the end of it.) “Make sure that you are taking time to rest and recharge. I know that you care about other people, but it’s important to always take a bit of time for yourself, too. Don’t overwork yourself.”

Even in the times when you are not together on the court, Iwaizumi is happy to engage with your other interests. Between studies and work and the rest of life’s challenges, he has a hard time making himself rest, though he harps on everyone else that they need breaks and sleep to survive and thrive. But, if you are sleeping, he will find it easier to rest himself. He tends to sprawl a bit when he sleeps, so you might wake up with an arm or leg draped over you. He also snores. (He is a bit embarrassed about it. Oikawa once said he sounded like a wild boar and it kind of hurt his feelings a little?)

Errands are much more fun together, and Iwaizumi likes to take you everywhere. How else is he going to learn all of your favorite things? He wants to make sure you always have your favorite snacks and foods handy. He isn’t very subtle, unfortunately, so don’t be surprised if he questions you specifically about what things you like and dislike. He will remember things from conversations, even if it is just a throwaway comment about how you once wanted to try a specific type of ice cream from an ice cream truck as a kid. Don’t be surprised if he brings it to you one day. (He searched all over for it so that you would get to live out your childhood dream.) Or that special plush you used to sleep with that got left behind on a family vacation. (He found it online. It’s not the actual one you lost, but it can be something to keep those memories alive.) He is very protective of you. Woe to anyone who stands in your way or hurts you. He will destroy them. (Oikawa is the most devious person on the planet. He is good at using subtle tactics to socially and psychologically destroy a person, and Iwaizumi is not afraid to use his best friend’s skills to his and your advantage. Though depending on the situation, he might just take things into his own hands- literally.)

[yesimwriting]

hi, i love all your work! could i please request headcanons for what it'd be like to go from being enemies to lovers with nikolai lantsov.

thank you:)

A/N maybe i moved this up on my request lists bc i woke up today and went 'nikolai lantsov'

--

- i'm being a little liberal with cannon bc my mind first went to 'princess! reader who hates nikolai bc they're competitive and then they have to team up together to try to get their parents to break up their arranged marriage but fall in love in the process (this might be a little undetailed but i'm thinking of writing a full fic or mini-series with this plotline so let me know if you'd be interested!! i could see a smutty ending to that fic but idk,, lmk what you thing ig lol)

- Ok so first off enemies to lovers with the loml nikolai lantsov would be SO GOOD bc he's so dramatic and obviously attractive so even though you hate him you know he's hot,, there's never a dramatic realization that he's attractive bc it's just a fact

- butttt you'd rather give up any claim you have to your family's throne than feed his already gigantic ego

- okk but lets get to the beginning of your enemies to lovers relationship

- so basically every summer your parents go and stay with Nikolai's family at this super fancy vacation home bc your parents are both royalty and your kingdoms have a very healthy relationship

- just bc it's the summer season doesn't mean it's summer vacation,, so as children for about a month you two share a tutor,, and when i tell you that created a rivalry so fast i mean it

- you're not the eldest princess and you're always trying to be the best for your parents approval, nikolai just wanted to impress the really smart girl who had a pretty laugh (poor nikolai lol,, he had no way of knowing how important being the best in school no matter what was to your self esteem)

- maybe if you two could communicate you’d like each other a little better at this point but it starts when you’re pretty young and by the time you’re like 13 it’s a solidified dynamic (and 13 year olds are the MEANEST and most insecure people in the world so that’s when your relationship turns to full enemies)

- now that you’re 13 you have more princess-y requirements, especially over the summer. So when you see that Nikolai gets to practice with swords and gets more free time while you have to practice setting tables you hate him more than ever. 

- Nikolai senses that you’re extra hostile but he has no idea why,, he tries asking once but he makes a joke about how ‘maybe you’re jealous bc youre no longer the center of my attention’ and even though he’s just trying to ease the tension you feel like he’s making fun of you

- so that’s when things get aggressive, but at that point summer is almost over so it’s whatever

- next summer comes and you’re still SO MAD at him,, so when you get to the estate you’re like ‘i’m not even talking to him idc how quiet these next three months are’ 

- and you get there all determined to hate him,, but once you get there and see him something in you cracks bc he had the audacity to spend the last year going through puberty AND LIKE HE’S ALWAYS BEEN CUTE BUT THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE 

- so youre mentally panicking bc how do you even talk to someone that looks like that now???? but then you remember that you didnt even want to talk him so in a panic youre like ‘maybe i can avoid him and he’ll just assume it’s bc i hate him bc i do,, who cares if he’s unbelievably hot now’ 

- nikolai doesn’t assume anything, he just gets to the estate and is like ‘why hasn’t she insulted me yet?? is she suddenly too good to give me attention?’ so during the lessons that you still share he gets an idea

- he decides to one-up you in everything bc that’s always gotten a reaction out of you 

- it works,, every time he corrects you or steals an answer from you, you’re ready to snap but then you look at him and take in his stupidly perfect face and  you just shut up 

- nikolai thinks it’s not working so he just tries harder

- by the end of week one you can’t take it anymore so when the tutor leaves at the end of lessons you snap, you tell him off for how often he’d repeat what you said and change a few words and get all the praise from the tutor

- on the inside he’s like ‘took long enough’ but the more you rant he’s like ‘is she okay???’ he’d be more concerned if you weren’t threatening his pride and at this point he’s still annoyed bc if you were that annoyed you should have just talked to him instead of ignoring him for a week

- he’s thinking that just bc you got really pretty over the last year doesn’t make you too good to yell at him on the daily

- the worst thing anyone can do to nikolai is ignore him LMAO (lowkey relatable)

- so he starts arguing with you and you’re so upset that you forget about how aggressively attractive he is 

- and you two are alone in this room and the more you argue the closer you two get

- the climax of the argument is when neither of you are yelling, you’re just so mad you’re beyond raising your voice and once you’re both at that point it goes like this: 

“Nikolai Lantsov, you are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met” 

“Well then, Darling, you should look in a mirror.” 

“You are so entitled, so ridiculously self obsessed that it ruins your attractiveness.” 

“...” he literally just like blinks twice. “You think I’m attractive?” 

“Uh? No--i didn’t say that at all, maybe if you didn’t have the language comprehension of a child you’d understa--” he just reaches forward, grabs the collar of your dress, and kisses you. 

- it’s your first kiss so you have no idea what you’re doing and it’s with some one you CANT STAND and you’re so mad bc you had expectations for your first kiss and he’s taken that from you--but the thing is,, 

- he’s good at it. Like really good at it. Like so good it makes you curious about what he does the nine months of the year he’s not stuck here with you bc there’s no way he hasn’t had practice. 

- but you’re also extremely confused and nervous and aware of how stupid you’re being (and a little hormonal bc being 14 isn’t easy) and then he places his hand on your cheek and that snaps some sense of reality into you bc it’s one thing to enjoy the kiss but another thing entirely to want him to escalate it

- so you place one hand on his chest and push him off of you slightly. He takes the hint, pulls away enough to look at you and then you two just stare at each other 

- your hand is still on his chest and you have absolutely no idea what comes next, but you find yourself looking at his lips

- since you haven’t slapped him or pulled away more than a few inches he thinks maybe things are okay so he leans forward slightly and kisses you again. 

- you reciprocate a little too fast, the kiss lasts two seconds before thinking about how insane you’re being so you push away entirely. 

- He lets you go,, and in the most awkward display ever you’re like ‘uh I need to go,, i can’t be late to ball preparation lessons’ and you leave that room faster than you’ve ever left a room in your entire life. 

- the next day you consider pretending to be sick to avoid him but that would only give him more power over the situation so you go,, and he’s just sitting there calmly

- youre on edge the entire day but he never even jokes about it

- a part of you is a tiny bit annoyed bc who kisses you and then pretends it never happened? but overall, you’re relieved 

- the days pass and it never comes up but now whenever you two argue you think of how quickly kissing him both shut him up and got rid of your tension 

- the summer goes by quickly, your usual dynamic has returned and you wonder if he even remembers kissing you. twice. in a row. 

- the next couple of years are normal,, even when you two no longer take lessons together you still dont like him. He’s just so assured and he takes such joy in bothering you. 

- and then one summer your parents sit you down and they’re like ‘we need to plan the future alliance of our kingdom’ 

- you’re a little confused bc you’re rarely allowed to sit in on these things bc you’re a girl and you’re basically meant to just be a royal’s bride--and then you realize why you’re there. 

- you start protesting before your father can finish announcing your engagement 

- the parents were smart bc they announced it at the end of summer so you two couldn’t drive them crazy or conspire

- the first thing you do when you get back to your castle is write to him for the first time ever 

- your letter is basically ‘pls tell me you’re doing something’ 

- the two of you talk until you come up with the plan to get your parents to break up your engagement 

- your parents dont really care about your feelings and they expect the two of you to argue with them,, but they care about the kingdoms

- so you two decide that if you act like youre so in love that you let your duties slip the engagement will end,, especially if you two are in love in a toxic way 

- so the next summer you two make sure to flirt and act like youre totally obsessed with each other and skip lessons together and just are constantly together and acting like you’re on a honeymoon

- your parents are like ?? since when 

- at one point you flirt with a random guard just so Nikolai can have a ‘jealous outburst’ while your families are strolling through the garden 

- ngl jealous nikolai had you ready to RISK IT ALL,, you were ready to drop the plan and marry him on the spot 

- he notices bc he notices everything about you and when your family walks away he gives you a quick kiss and youre stunned,, much to his delight 

- your desire to break up your engagement takes a slight backseat in your mind bc you decide to set off on a secret goal to make him flustered

- it doesn’t take much, your dresses get a little more risky, your comments get a little more suggestive

- the only problem?? he seems to have his own personal goal and it’s to make you even more flustered than he is

- soon the two of you are lost in layers of pretend and competition

- when your parents are finally thinking about delaying the engagement and keeping you two away from each other until you calm down a little (i feel bad for them,, an entire summer of being surrounded by the ULTIMATE sexual tension) 

- you’re sad and you don’t know why bc this is what you wanted, but then Nikolai stands up and says that you two planned for this and he has the letters to prove it (he was ready to drop the receipts LMAO) and youre like ??what are you doing?

- and he says he’d rather marry you then never see you again bc now all he wants is to get know you bc he has no idea how he wasted so much time arguing with you 

- and you just meltttt but your in front of your entire family and his as well so you just sit there for a minute and then you tell him you feel the same way 

- but the summer’s over

- you kiss him before leaving and he says you’ll have to visit bc he can’t go an entire year without seeing your ‘pretty face’ 

- you promise to visit him soon

- your at home for exactly a day and a half before getting an invitation to visit him 

- you laugh bc the only way that letter could get to you that fast is if he mailed it before you even left 

- you say yes obviously,, and spend some time having a really cute fall-dating vibes together until you figure out how you really feel 

- and you feel like he makes your heart STOP and that’s why you hated him,, bc you didn’t like being vulnerable 

[maschotch]

When JJ rolls her eyes at Reid in front of local cops it feels like a hate crime. She does it when hes saying something pertinent to the case. Its very people are dying Kim. Everyone on the team cuts him off or makes fun at some point. But to be so unprofessional about it is infuriating.

honestlyyyy she leaps at any chance to belittle him and it’s so painful to watch.. maybe i just dont get her “humor” lol but her sardonic remarks dont seem to be taken well by reid either. he gets embarrassed or self conscious and its so fucking heartbreaking. like the others will tell him to shut up sometimes, but it’s either gentle (hotch redirecting his focus to the task at hand) or teasing in a way that he understands (morgan always making sure reid knows he means no harm). and some of them will encourage him!! (elle listening intently to whatever he’s talking about, emily engaging and asking questions and adding her own input.) everyone has a kind word for him but jj, who seems to make it her life’s fucking work to humiliate him whenever possible

[chocogi]

fINALLY SOMEONE GAVE A REQUEST-

i dont know how to write it with gender neutral help me

so uh they’ll be female but they use they/them

afab? i think? yh

yO I HIT 20 FOLLOWS YALL THAMKS

(please give me something to work on ;-;)

Diluc

•loves it

•would be all soft and encouraging

•dresses them up in sultry suits and if they steal his old tuxes, he’ll act like he never knows

•would buy them the suits they glance at for a second too long

•stg this mf is too rich sometimes

•but then the charity events come by

•not them making it as hard as possible for diluc to get them into a dress lmao

Diluc leaned on a corner, slightly heavy breathing escaping his tired lungs

in his tightly wound hand was an elegant yet quite the simple dress; made of the same material Diluc’s s/o adored on suits, and a purple ribbon on the waistline, ending as a cute bow

pertaining to how slow his combo attacks are (like the idiot the author of this is), he was also a tad slower than them and they manage to outlast him multiple times

the maids just giggled at his suffering while the family butler, Elzer, just casually looked away

on the other side, they giggled and proudly nodded to themselves. time to wear that nice sui- oof

“you won the battle but you lost the war, dear.”

“hey! no fair!”

Kaeya

•i legitimately do not see him caring wkndksns

•or maybe he’d go like:

Kaeya laughed at them, said s/o still dressed in a cute créme tux.

“that’s so weird it’s ridiculous ohmyarchons-”

a bystander thought the situation funny and said “nice suit” all the while trying to hide a grin.

all of a sudden kaeya’s straddling them

“that’s my s/o you’re laughing at! and that is a good tux!” while you sweatdrop in the background kehe

•aura just screams “only i can make fun of them” stg

•fite me i cannot see my mind changing

•then since he knew they liked boyish stuff more (i think) they would, more than often, drag them to his room to dress them up into his very own mini-me

•my ghad my heart go bOOm bOOM BAKUDAN-

“my, my, cashmere? I liked the cotton suit more.”

they squeaked in protest as they immediately noticed Kaeya behind them in the mirror

“knock next time, damnit!”

Kaeya just laughed and pressed your back to his chest. “no thank you; i’m quite content with this, love.”

“hmph”

Zhongli

•casually takes off dress coat and shoves it in s/o’s arms-

•it goes against the unspoken dress code that most liyuean citizens follow but they’re the one zhongli loves in this lifetime he cant hate anything from them-

•zhongli is part of my team but i know little to none about his personality 🥲🤚

•adores your pride when you’re wearing a really good piece

•would lend them some of his spare clothes.

•mini me. yes. mini me.

•xiao shall look on in confusion. like confused unga bunga

•that meme has never left me i wonder when it will

•someone pls give me a nuke build

•moving on

“you look charming in that, princess. would you like to try silk?”

they hummed, glancing at the mirror then switching to the walking encyclopedia they engaged years ago

“i like cotton more for casuals, they look and feel a little more fluffy ehe.”

zhongli hummed, helping his s/o tie up the securing waist accessory from behind

“though a cotton-linen blend really is the go-to for more formal meets. silk is better but much more expensive.”

“don’t worry about the costs, princess. i’ll take care of that.”

they felt warm lips on their forehead; they felt so lucky to find such a blessing as him.

okay so-

to help, diluc’s and kaeya’s are on “suits”. like the formal, prince-y type. like the one you visualize people wearing when on buisness

zhongli’s are on hanfu. one of the traditional male attires of China. i’m not sure which suits the scenario more tho, hanfu or changpao? i stuck with hanfu because i have done minimal research on this ;-;

[tiktaalic]

pls give us all ur miles luna opinions i've never followed any of rtah's socials and i'm curious

arughgh for brevit y sake i will stick to rvb opinions but chorus genuinely truly wonderful little arc i love it with all my heart start to finish i have only the smallest of tweaks i would make it's, as far as rvb goes, quite nearly flawless it's funny it's engaging there's little emotional moments there's carolina there's fun fight scenes and there's KIMBALL! great character. idk if you watched chorus? but the gist is civil war the rebellion's commander is that's incredibly young and scrappy and has watched all of her friends die and she's Too Young To Be Doing This and is very practical about rationing/trying to keep as many people alive as possible. that's kimball she's the second best thing to ever happen to the show (carolina being the first) . god. she's incredible . the republic's general is some guy with a silly british accent who is comically unprepared to be a general and has supplies for days but is just so completely untactical that he's still getting his ass beat. spoiled rich boy who's now running an army very let them eat cake. ANYWAY. circumstances happen and the republic n rebellion team up against Third Party Threat and combine camps supplies plans etc. the new conflict is that the two camps dont like each other. kimball doesnt like doyle because hes incompetent and inexperienced and ignores her advice and strategies to waste supplies . the republic soldiers hate kimball because shes an uptight bitch what a bitch etc etc she gets called a bitch like 10 times an episode. television! the point is. one of these characters is deeply compelling and experiencing real problems in a silly little show (kimball). also kimball's VA is like. a semi professional voice actress who cares deeply abt the character. and one character is a bit character doing bit character things (doyle) played by miles luna's friend who was free that weekend or whatever. and both of their Situations are treated as if they're weighted of exact same importance. not once not ONCE has miles ever said anything about kimball as a character or how great she was to write or this that or the other. vs him tweeting stuff like man i still think about doyle sometimes he was such a good guy..... NO1!!!!!!!! FUCK DONALD DOYLE ALL MY FRIENDS HATE DONALD DOYLE WHAT DID HE ACCOMPLISH BESIES BEING BORN RICH AND FAILING UPWARD. NOTHING. I'LL DIG HIM UP AND KILL HIM AGAIN WHY THE. why the fuck do you think he's a more compelling character than kimball. aaaaaaguh

[madisonrooney]

i would love to hear your thoughts on how descendants is the perfect trilogy. i've read so many criticisms so i'm interested to see a different perspective!

"in order for a protagonist to be well-written and layered, sometimes bad things have to be their fault" i love that! i agree that it's important to have characters make mistakes and learn from them. if there's no accountability, then there's no chance for character growth.

those are such wonderful experiences. it's amazing that he remembered that detail from a year before. that's really special! glad that he went out of his way to make sure you got your hug.

the vk mashup cosplay sounds really fun! it's so sweet that cameron cheered for you. i'm always amazed when celebrities can remember people they talked to for less than five minutes. i'm glad to hear you had that special connection with him and that you are donating to his foundation. he was so talented and such a wonderful person!

next question for you: who are the top 10 disney channel characters you relate to the most and why? ⛄️

for starters, i wanna say that i dont think that just out of bias towards the franchise bc its one of my favs. i have other fav franchises that i think have imperfect sequels or are imperfect trilogies, like happy feet two or the how to train your dragon trilogy. i just genuinely think all 3 descendants movies mix so well together.

i like it when the plot of a sequel is like...the natural next set of events following the set of events of the first movie, rather than something the writers just pulled out of their ass for the sake of making a sequel (ex. i dont hate cars 2 like a lot of people do, but admittedly the spy plot came out of nowhere and cars 3 wouldve made more sense as a direct follow up to the first movie). i think the descendants movies did that very well. for example, d2 is about mal struggling to accept her new life and her new home which makes perfect sense following the first movie. i know a lot of people had issues with ben and mal getting engaged so young in d3, which i get to an extent, but without that happening, the conversation of what to do after hades' attack probably wouldn't have included mal at all.

also, the endings mix well together, if that makes sense. we end d1 with the core four now in auradon, we end d2 with the intention of more to come, and we end d3 with the barrier gone forever. it's just a really solid progression imo.

beyond just mal, the introduction and development of other characters works great, too. we get the sea three in d2, who serve a purpose and aren't just there for the sake of adding new characters for a sequel. and i've already said that i love how uma is an antagonist but one with history with the protagonists and potential to be redeemed, which ofc she is in d3. i think having audrey as the villain in d3 was really smart after how she acted in d1 and given that she was absent in d2, and the message of "we're all capable of good and bad no matter which side of the barrier we're on" is very smart. (a part that always makes me laugh is the news broadcast where they say people think audrey is responsible for putting everyone to sleep and the guy's like "we're trying to find out who's responsible for these terrible rumors!") in d2, evie becomes more accepting of her past, carlos musters up the courage to ask out jane, and jay helps stand up for lonnie. granted, d3 is more focused on mal/the team aspect, but we have some good moments of the other three bonding with the sea three.

i also like how they never strayed too far from their roots. it could've been easy for them to devolve way too deep into their own canon have not referred at all back to the source material, but they didn't do that. they kept introducing new villains and VKs like the sea three and hades, and kept making references (ex. gil's direct references to beauty and the beast in both d2 and d3). as a big fan of disney animation outside of disney channel, that was important to me.

also, the final shot gets me every time, of the core four running across the bridge right after saying their final rotten to the core. and i love that it was dove, sofia, cameron, and booboo's idea to do that.

SO i hope that makes sense? tl;dr each movie is great individually AND great in respect to one another.

~

exactly! i can think of plenty other movies where the protagonist does something wrong and the message of the movies comes from them learning from their mistakes (ex. woody in toy story, simba in the lion king, etc.) it doesn't make them a bad person or bad character so why is it all of a sudden bad when mal does it?

oh man TEN!? im a very odd person and can often struggle to relate to characters bc so many aspects of my personality are like very specific to me but im gonna try my best!

in no particular order:

1. maddie rooney. probably a mix of i AM like her and i WANT to be like her. there are plenty of aspects of her that i can't relate to (ex. i hate sports with a burning passion lmao), but i just see myself in the way she carries herself and talks. even my mom has told me she sees that too. i also relate to her gender expression which is something i talk about a lot (i headcanon her as nb) 2. riley matthews. its been a while since ive watched much of gmw so i don't remember a lot of the reasons why but i know i related to her HARD. i guess just in the sense of living off in your own little world, acting like a child to some degree, and not knowing what to do when something is out of your control or doesn't go your way. people make a lot of fun of girl meets rileytown but that ep was actually very real for me in the sense of "you exist and you're weird so stop being weird and stop being you" bc ive been treated like that 100%. 3. liv rooney. this is another one where idk if i AM like her or WANT to be lol. i definitely relate to maddie more, but she has a sense of optimism and naivety a lot like riley which i can see myself in. i also headcanon her as autistic which i might be myself so there's that. (i saw @addisonwells headcanons riley as autistic too and i cant believe i never thought of that before.) 4. joey rooney. again with the l&m characters lol. i just really relate to him being a nerd in all kinds of fandoms and being all around awkward. also loving cats. 5. olive doyle. points for obscurity! ant farm is another show i havent watched in a long time, but i also have a crazy good memory if i do say so myself, and she mentioned needing like 10+ hours of sleep and wanting to cuddle with as many stuffed animals as possible which is v amandacore. 6. mal. ok i know that sounds forced but im struggling here lol. honestly tho, i share her feelings of self-hatred, not thinking youre good enough, thinking you're only hurting the people you care about, etc. 7. cricket green. i also headcanon him as autistic, specifically bc of the episode where the greens went to the library and he could only focus on the books with pictures which was very much "i'm in this photo and i don't like it" lmao 8. huey duck. has to have things planned out and done by the book. possibly also autistic who knows. 9. launchpad mcquack. a lot of people think of him as the big dumb idiot but he knows he has more potential than people realize. also very engrossed in his fandoms and can be very knowledgeable about them but not about many other things in life. helps that the fandom that he's hyperfixated on in is specifically darkwing duck much like myself. 10. artie smalls. im not proud of this one but he's hopelessly in love with liv rooney so obviously.

id ask you the same question but that might be a giveaway? up to you!

[izzyliker]

hey - this is one of the mods of the bi jon project. we don't actually dislike or disagree with pan jon at all, we just want to make a project focused on and celebrating bisexuality. our carrd is a bit rambling, but frankly we were trying our best/overcompensating to try and make sure people didn't misunderstand us and do - well, this. our intentions are good, and it's really kind of disenheartening to see all the hate we've gotten for what was meant to be a positive project. (1)

you're under no obligation to answer these, but i saw some of your posts in the tag and felt like reaching out because you did give us even the tiniest bit of slack in good faith. honestly, if you have any advice about what in our carrd is so overwhelmingly bad, we'd be happy to hear it. we've been trying to respond to the overwhelming amount of criticism we've got in a positive way, and take peoples' suggestions. (2)

as for why 'no anti-antis' was at the bottom of our rules list, it's legitimately bc we were trying so hard to be preventative about this negativity that we forgot to add it when we first posted the blog, and just remembered later. again, you're under no obligation to answer these, i just feel like no one's really actually letting us defend ourselves/are taking things in as bad faith a way as possible. (3)

im not exactly sure how the posts showed up in the tag bc ive been very purposefully not tagging them, also ive blocked all of you back (not sure why you blocked me if you actually want feedback, so it seems more like you just want free positive pr and not actual feedback) so its unlikely youll see whatever it is that i reply to this but whatever. 

the issues have all been repeatedly brought up to you so i dont really see how me repeating all of them once again could help. when i last looked at the cardd the things that stood out immediately included. 

pitting ace & bi identities and people against each other REPEATEDLY,  

starting off with a guilt trippy tone and maintaining it throughout (in my experience this is the #1 best way to receive backlash because people do not want to participate in events where you feel like youre being guilted into it, which going into scrutinizing detail over there not being enough content and passing judgement onto authors or artists over it is something that comes across as guilt trippy.),

repeatedly equating asexuality with sex repulsion (not to get into the misleading information about modteam aspec identity breakdowns, since you claimed that 3/4 of the team are aspec, which is technically correct, but what you didnt say was that only one is acespec. surely you know that [allosexual] aro and [alloromantic] ace are not interchangeable) and calling using biromantic over bisexual a “misunderstanding” of the identity as if how to define romantic vs sexual attraction (how to divide, if or if not to divide, use interchangeably different labels) isnt a deeply personal choice ace people who experience romantic attraction make, 

claiming that bisexual jon is canon (he isn’t. this is why people are suspicious of anti-other mspec identities sentiments. which theyre right, if youll be so kind as to stick around til the last paragraph) and repeatedly implying that the reason there isnt “enough” content centering bi jon because the aces are simply unable to not fixate on his asexuality (again, pitting identities against each other),

making the banned ship list way needlessly confusing and including ships that dont even include jon to it, which simply comes across as some kind of a list of bad ships, idk. a way to bypass this would simply be to say “we are looking for portrayals of healthy relationships!” and that couldve just been it. if you felt that that wouldnt exclude specific ships (eg. jondaisy that a lot of people write as a relationship between trauma survivors who have done very bad things trying to get better and learning to trust each other) it is possible to simply say “the modteam is squicked[/triggered] by ships with daisy/elias/peter and we’d like to read all of the works submitted so we’re asking not to receive submissions with those ships.” hating ships is literally completely normal but making rules hard to parse is going to attract questions, especially when the implication is that ships are excluded on the grounds of morality, and a blatant power difference ship (jonelias) is equated with jondaisy, which is from what ive seen almost exclusively shown to be a relationship between equals. that makes people EXTREMELY confused about where the line is. thats why youre getting so many questions about this.  

in general the carrd was spotty, guilt trippy, and needlessly moralizing where it definitely did not need to be. the key to getting people to engage without getting backlash is to make the event seem fun. when your carrd is filled with stuff about unrelated negative stuff people are not going to think it’s a fun event at all. 

and none of this even gets into the fact that at least one of the mods has a history of open hostility against pan people. i heard through the grapevine that he has since made a fauxpology about it, but frankly it already shone through in the language used in the event descriptions. its extremely hard to take any of this is good faith when it is easy to see that one of the organizers is quite fucking clear about thinking pansexuality is biphobic and the carrd is or at least used to be full of anti-pan (and other mspec identity) dogwhistles, and is notorious in some of the tma fic author circles for being extremely fucking nasty about trans men writing fic he doesn’t like to the point of pretending that we’re all cis people (in case youre not keeping track that is misgendering us by implication) because he doesn’t like it. i think some of you (or maybe all of you? idk) in general could stand to examine whether your engagements and participations in the fandom have been at all about having fun or adding positivity to anything, or simply making posts about what other people are doing wrong. it seems that every post i see from anyone in this group is guilt trippy and authoritative, and sadly this translated directly into the event. 

when youre, say, a trans man whose first touch to one of the mods was a post about how fic where trans men have piv sex with cis men is hurting him personally and making it a moral issue and not a matter of a simple preference to the point where he feels comfortable making claims about the trans men (and transmasc nonbinary people) writing fic about trans characters re: their gender or whether theyre fetishizing trans men, your willingness to engage in good faith with an event hosted by him that features numerous red flags is not going to be unconditional. 

im sorry to hear that it has been bad for your mental health, and idk whats fucking going on with this event anymore, but my good faith interpretations have diminished significantly since i saw the shit tmc specifically has been saying about pansexual people and pansexuality as an identity label. i have no clue where the rest of you stand but tmc has repeatedly, consistently shown himself to be unable to act in good faith towards anyone other than people who agree with him.  

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for dating Natasha Romanoff

Natasha Romanoff x reader

warnings: knife/gun/violence/death mentions

a/n: ILY EM

prompt: @the-radio-star: “wait ok can i request headcanons for dating natasha romanoff?! I saw you were looking for more natasha requests :D”

you were a SHIELD agent and clint’s partner sent to take nat down

you were desperate to finish this mission but thank goodness clint was there to stop you

“y/n, we’ve gotta give her a chance. she deserves it”

“clint, we have a mission to complete”

he apprehended her, disobeying the shoot-to-kill order, which you were upset about at first

but natasha didn’t seem as heartless as they said she was

“i can tell you want me dead. it’s okay, lots of people do”

“just following orders”

“so was i”

clint and you were assigned to her by nick fury himself, helping “the black widow” out of the rogue assassin role and into a domestic assasin <3

you began to warm up go natasha, though, which surprised you a lot

clint ended up taking off to be with his family for a while, so it was just you and her

nat and you learned a lot about each other (as a trust exercise)

“well, uh, have you had any pets, ms. romanoff?”

“i have not had any pets. but there was a rat living underneath my bed when i was younger”

“oh”

time actually slipped right past the two of you, as you ended up talking all night

“what time is it?”

“um...oh, it’s four a.m.”

“really? we’ve been talking all this time?”

as time went on, she began flirting less and less subtly

you weren’t opposed to it

it was obvious to clint

you and nat got sent on your first mission together to prove she was loyal to SHIELD and she ended up taking a bullet for you

you thought she was going to die, you couldn’t stop freaking out

but she was amused by your concern

“are you like this with all the agents or just me?”

kissing her just to get her to stop making fun of you

“i’m gonna say you only do this with me? i sure hope so”

fury knew this shit was gonna happen, actually he was planning on it

“you two make a great team, no doubt will you be an amazing couple”

the agents have been shipping yall since the beginning

you were already close with clint’s family, but now natasha was getting the chance to meet them!

“daddy, who’s that girl with the red hair?”

“that’s y/n’s girlfriend, lila! her name is natasha”

“aunt natasha!”

more missions with natasha because you do great together

unspoken movements that flow together so well

when she’s away on her own, she calls you (or messages you) every night to tell you about her day and how stupid her target is

easy peasy

the avengers initiative was activated and you were apart of it, along with nat

so now you guys were a mf power couple

nat was totally soft on you compared to everyone else dhshshha

they were stunned

“loveeee youuuuu, y/nnnnn”

the hand holding mhm yes

tony poking fun at your relationship

“say that again and i’ll cut your eyes out, stark”

“nat, please, no. knife away”

thor thinks your relationship is adorable

and he’s so genuine about it!!

“you two fight your battles together! such a strong bond that cannot be broken! i wish the two of you nothing but happiness!”

nat is a cuddler i swear

if she’s not cuddling you she has to cuddle a pillow so she hates being away from you

making jokes about “engagement firearms”

“be serious, nat, if i proposed to you with a pistol would you still say yes?”

“y/n, if you handed me an old shoe and asked me to marry you i’d probably still say yes”

constantly looking out for each other

she likes to lay on your lap

“i thought you were the black widow, not the black cat”

getting her some of her favorite food :)

nat loves wendy’s

you make jokes abt how she should be wendy for halloween dhahahhah

ahhhh she loves you so much its so cute

especially bc of the minor ways she shows affection, you know its for real

like she’ll walk up behind you and wrap her arms around your waist and put her chin on your shoulder and hum

you love hearingher tell you she loves you in russian

its the sweetest thing

she grabs your hand and puts it on her head so that you’ll play with her hair

because SERIOUSLY SHE LOOOOOVES PHYSICAL AFFECTION SHE NEEDS IT

you make her feel all tingly inside!!

“babe you’re the best thing that’s ever happen to me”

she’s a spy and you know she has to play another “character” but when she was on the run from HYDRA she kissed steve and he STILL cant look you in the eye because he feels bad no matter how many times you tell him that it’s not a big deal and literally they were trying to throw off bad guys its FINE

“im sorry, y/n”

“steve you’ve never done a thing wrong its OKAY”

you know she’s capable of taking care of hereee but you are always so terrified whenever nat’s in the slightest bit of trouble

you’re prepared to die for/with her

“think it’ll be okay”

“as long as im next to you”

going on the run with her after all the bad blood between tony and steve

it was like a very long and stressful vacation

but there was something undeniably romantic about sharing a shitty hotel with a loved one

“want to order some pizza and watch friends?”

“of course”

she loves adding an element of domesticity to her life

but it always feels weird to her

fighting thanos together what terrifying, you wouldnt gave anything tonsee that she was safe after this

thankfully both of you lived

“nat, are you okay?!”

“yeah, im okay. dont worry”

spending the next 5 years together at the avengers compound and just keeping each other afloat through it all

“can you give me a kiss before i start crying again”

“i’ll give you as many as you want”

helping her distract herself through it all

“i dont know what i did to deserve you, y/n”

when there was some hope, you guys took a leap of faith to save the other half of the population

“see you in a minute”

“you can count on it, love you”

(i dont wanna go any further i might cry shahhaha)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual //

[ouyangzizhensdad]

I love ur takes but I'm kind still impressed by ur persistent hate for cql. The novel is the base but all the medias adapted from it take a single aspect of the story and make it their own. Look at the manhwa, audio drama, donghua or the drama. I still dont know what ur issue with the drama is coz for a low budget drama with censorship they did everything they could for the novel fans (yes they recorded straight bit so if they had issues they will go straight but they are a drama)... yes they added a few things for the show to telecast it for the chinese consumption (they dont really need white validation unlike kdrama which has more ifandom). Both cql or winter begonia were handled very well and the dramas were overnight hits coz of the scriptwriters and directors keeping the novel story alive.

I think it's also coz u and most white fans of the novel or cql haven't seen anime and its live actions so u dont know that the live actions made in different periods of time change the story according to the area they're being released in... Itazura na Kiss has 3 live action dramas and all three are from different countries and different time periods so the way all three are adapted are alot different eventhough the base story is the same. If u want to follow the novel read that but if u want to enjoy the story cql, donghua, audio drama of MDZS and the manhwa are very nicely done. I hope just coz white cql fans have issues with the novel u dont spread hate for the drama that has made it possible for a relationship to be shown between two men. The asians arent as thick to think they're best friends, everyone who watches the drama knows that it's a gay love story

Hi anon, 

There’s a lot in there and honestly I don’t think I can address all of your points. But I’ll try my best.

I have said many times that I do not hate CQL and that I enjoyed watching most of it. It was a fun little idol drama that wasn’t a very serious watch. At the beginning I even enjoyed the fandom for a little while. Now, yes, I do post a lot of content that is negative toward CQL and/or its fandom. But you may have noticed a few things though. My criticisms (or my moments of incomprehension) are always related to:

Specific issues I have with the choices it made as an adaptation

People trying to pass CQL, a cheaply-made idol drama, as a masterpiece. This is nothing personal against CQL: it has more to do with how it puzzles me that people don’t see to know what competent and good tv looks like. I have nothing against people praising the show, but they don’t have to act as it doesn’t have a lot of basic, technical issues. 

the CQL fandom cross-posting everything, or bringing CQL canon and fanon into novel-specific discussions. People can mix and match the canons, of course, but it’d be a nice courtesy to be at least open about it so that people who want to stick to one canon may be able to do so. And it is frustrating because people like me have literally just given up on trying to read fics because authors are not forthcoming about which canon they are drawing from. That’s frustrating and a source of bitterness!

arguments that CQL is a stronger/more complex work of fiction than MDZS. Again, it’s nothing personal about CQL, it’s just mind-boggling having to explain something so fucking transparent. 

arguments that CQL is better “queer rep” than MDZS.

absolutely whack takes from the CQL western fandom.

You feel that the screenwriter and director kept the story alive, and hey, that’s great for you. Yes, I’m aware that adaptations will change things. Analysing adaptations is actually partly how I developed a lot of my media analysis skills. However, I personally believe that the story that CQL tells and how it chooses to tell it fundamentally changes so much about the narrative, the characters or even the genre of the story that it does not keep the truly interesting and engaging elements of the novel. It might be flippant to say, but even if the production team were truly doing their best (and I do believe they did), it doesn’t mean they achieved what they set out to do--and some of it may just come down to a question of skills, as story-tellers. 

Although I am white, I may not fit into the narrative you present since I have watched many live actions and animated series adapting a manga/manhua/novel. I watched my first jdrama 15 years ago, and to be illustrative, this first jdrama was Hana Yori Dango. In the past I’ve also watched many dramas that were originally japanese/taiwanese/chinese/korean and their adaptations. Hell, sometimes even adaptations that crossed to the western market. I assure you that I am familiar with a property being adapted at different times and in different countries and through different mediums. I’ve also interacted with the other adaptations of MDZS. The thing is, what this has showed me is simply that doing something differently doesn’t translate necessarily in doing as good of a job. Adaptations can fail, either by virtue of what they fail to do as their own work of fiction, or as adaptations of an existing property. 

I’m not trying to shit on to what CQL may mean for chinese audiences or diasporic chinese audiences as well. When I point out the fact that Wangxian is just subtext in CQL, it’s not because I think “asian audiences are dumb” but because the reason why subtext may be acceptable under censorship is that it keeps a level of plausible deniability. Some people will of course recognise it for what it is, but some will simply not pick up on it or refuse that reading. I also do take pains to remind people how the flow of capital that allows for these adaptations to exist may have to do with how far the portrayal of the subtext is being pushed over any concerns for the original story or nebulous gay rights. I do find it interesting though that CQL is often presented in fandom discussions as this unprecedented occurrence in Chinese media, since there was very heavy subtext in earlier live action adaptations like Guardians or the side couple in Love H2O, just to think of quick examples. 

But obviously anon, my more salty or bitter posts about cql seem to bring up frustrations, so if it is an impediment to your fandom experience it might be best to simply unfollow me. If you wish to stay for the novel meta and avoid these posts, I do tag them with either “brine corner” or “cql negativity” or “cql vs mdzs”.

[gringolet]

i just discovered your blog and i need help because like. so im an english major graduating after next semester but i only got to experience older english literature in two classes and i gained a passion for it. one was just an english literature class (i know we did sir gawain and the green knight but i dont remember if we read the whole thing, most of it was just parts of things) and thats where i fell in love with it. but that had translations. the next class was where we read le morte d'arthur the entire class and i only hated it because it didnt have translations and i had NO idea how to be reading it, but it wasn't that i didn't like the story itself. anyway long story short ive saved ur pinned post but i was gonna ask what u recommend with like translations and/or learning to read old english without craving the sweet release of death even though the stories are great. i feel like a fake reading translations but i also have no clue how to read this shit, man. like...im so passionate about all this medieval stuff and yet here i am. unable to read it. thank u for listening ;-; <3

hi! firstly, you absolutely are not a fake for reading translations. unless you want to do a close reading academic analysis of the language, theres no reason a well done translation wont work. i think the idea that you cant truly enjoy a work if you read a translation is a huge boundary to younger people, neurodivergent people, people for whom english isnt a first langauge etc getting into medieval lit.

that being said, the language of middle english texts like sir gawain and the green knight is beautiful, and well worth reading if one so desires. i dont personally read old english (old english is like beowulf, and is legitimately a completely different language than modern english: see the first lines of beowulf

Hwæt. We Gardena in geardagum, þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon, hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon. )

middle english is the language in which sir gawain and the green knight is written, and while the line to be drawn is murky, it is generally considered a seperate language from old english and modern english, and is a lot easier for modern english speakers to understand:

SIÞEN þe sege and þe assaut watz sesed at Troye,

Þe borȝ brittened and brent to brondeȝ and askez,

Þe tulk þat þe trammes of tresoun þer wroȝt

firstly i would learn the alphabet of middle english, like þ  makes a th sound. however, most printed editions will have the alphabet changed to modern english (sithen the sege and the assault watz sesed at Troye) which makes it much easier to parse. then its a matter of training your brain to see the differences in spelling, through practice. a synaptic translation is a great place to start-- that is, one which has the original text to one side and a translation on the other. when we correct the spelling we see:

sithen the siege and the assault was ceased at Troy

The final step is learning the words in middle english no longer used today. there are a number of handy middle english dictionaries available online with a quick google, and i reccommend keeping at least one open to look up words you dont recognize. “sithen” for instance, means “since” or “from the time that” but could be translated also as “when” giving us

Since the siege and the assault was ceased at Troy

cool! a real sentence. we did it!

okay, moving on to reccs: theres a wonderful beautiful website i love so dearly, https://d.lib.rochester.edu/teams Teams has a number of middle english texts available online and also cheap as paperbacks, which have the letters corrected and annotations on the side defining difficult words. they’re so helpful and a great way to get started with middle english! also, as a note, i wouldnt start with sgatgk; its more difficult than a lot of other texts in terms of the language. one text thats really engaging, has easier language, is on teams and has beautiful language is the stanzaic morte d’arthur https://d.lib.rochester.edu/teams/text/benson-and-foster-king-arthurs-death-stanzaic-morte-arthur-part-i

le morte is also very late for middle english so is a good place to start, if a bit of a lengthy slog at times. in general just have fun with it!

[mjalti]

I appreciate when you talk about boundaries. Im in my late 20s and still figuring it out. My family is so rude to me, they make fun of me and call it jokes, its the most degrading type too. My brother lives in another country and my parents always force me to talk to him when he calls, and then he'll start insulting me, and my parents join in and call it "joking". And even in person, he's even worse. He's so neurotic and weird. Siblings have a type of teasing each other, but he straight up degrades me and treats me worse than he would any stranger. He never does any wrong in my parents' eyes. I told them i dont want to talk to him, but my father says to stop breaking the family apart. I hate my family, but im think I'll eventually cut them off. Idk if you know boundaries for family, but i feel truly alone.

Do you feel worse when you are alone, or when you are degraded? 

I would implement some massive changes. If he starts videochatting you and insulting you...simply hang up. Obviously he knows it’s wrong and you have tried to communicate with him about it. Let’s say you video chat every week. & You can measure this by time. First call; 2 minutes in, he starts insulting you. Hang up. Next call, 1 minute in, he starts insulting you. Hang up. Next call he starts insulting you 2 minutes in, hang up. Next time he insults you 5 min in, hang up. He will eventually make the connection that speaking with you is a privilege and a relationship to be invested in, and not something he can toy with. 

I think your brother is the one tearing your family apart. The victim of the situation’s retaliation is always merited, just, and holy. You are not crazy for feeling hurt and being victimized several times over. But you have to be on your own team. Being at peace alone is always better than walking on eggshells, feeling crazy, or engaging with people who need a punching bag even if they are the people who are biologically your family. Start investing your time in some other people around you, build your own family and start habits that your kids wont want to grow out of :)

[saturnwritings]

freeze your brain

—after a disheartening start to the evening leads you to hide under a table at a party, a chance encounter with kenma leads you to have one of the best nights of your life. | based on a pov by a cosplayer on tiktok (@/sea.kaninchen)

pairing(s): kenma x reader, past/brief daishou x reader 

word count: 3993

warnings: cheating, hints to sexual themes (only briefly)

a/n: i think i should mention that I DONT HATE DAISHOU!!! i think hes a complex and interesting character and ppl shit on him a lot but i did need a villain for this so im sorry for being basic he doesnt deserve this 😪also i was honestly really excited to do this?? like tiktok cosplayers’ povs are not bad i love cosplayers its just straight tiktok’s povs im sorry 😔 

9:32pm.

You let out a sigh as you glance at your phone for what seemed like the thousandth time that night, the numbers moving slow, in almost a mocking way. The blinding, multi-colored lights dancing around the room kind of made your eyes spin, and the air around you made you wonder if it was possible to describe air as ‘sticky’ and what… questionable ways it could get to that state. There were bodies moving all around the room, most likely all around the house, doing a multitude of things: dancing, talking, loitering.

You had been coerced by your friends, as well as your boyfriend, Daishou, to come to this party, with promises of letting loose and free food. As reluctant as you were, your boyfriend had assured you that he would personally make sure you had a good time; said boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.

As you leaned against the wall, you raised your phone screen to your face as you mindlessly scrolled through various social media feeds and such, trying to pass the time. Ultimately, there’s only so much you can do constantly refreshing pages. On top of that, it might have just been your imagination but people seemed to stop and sneak looks at you, probably wondering why you were staying by yourself in a corner for so long.

Putting your phone away, you decided to approach some of Daishou’s friends - after all, the least he could do was to hang out with you at the party he kind of forced you to go to. Taking a quick look around the room, your eyes landed on a group of boys hanging out on the couches, you recognized them as your boyfriend’s friends. You greeted them as best as you could over the loud music, almost pounding your eardrums.

“I was just wondering, have you seen Daishou anywhere?” As soon as you mentioned his name, that atmosphere within the group grew tense. They all seemed to avoid eye-contact and some even started fidgeting. Suddenly, one of the boys spoke up.

“I- uhm, I think I saw him go upstairs?” He was met with pointed looks from the rest. Confused, you thanked them nonetheless and located the stairs.

Maneuvering your way through the many bodies on the stairs, you start searching through the many rooms of the house as you think to yourself: Who’s house is this? Why are there so many rooms? You must’ve looked through the first 4 rooms of the hallway (bathroom, storage closet, bedroom, bedroom) before reaching another door.

When you opened the door, thankful it wasn’t locked, you immediately saw two figures in a bed in the middle of the room. Upon closer inspection, you saw that they were very much not having a nap together but instead moving in tandem. You were about to exit before they could see you when one of the figures, a girl, locked eyes with you. She immediately fumbled and pushed the other figure, a boy, off of her and drew the sheets to cover herself. Feeling awkward and frozen in place, you started to spew out apologies. 

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, I, uhm,” you hands out in a defensive motion “I didn’t mean to walk in! I was just…” You trailed off when the boy turned around and you got a good look of his face. It was then when you had realized it was your boyfriend in a bed with his ex-girlfriend, Mika. 

“Suguru…” Your face morphed into a disheartened expression, “You’re…” you couldn’t finish your sentence though, your eyes frantically shifting between Daishou and Mika, who you had just realized the identity of, in confusion as you opened your mouth to say something, but the words lay stuck in your throat. Fat tears welled up in your eyes, eventually falling down your cheeks, but you had yet to move. 

“y/n! It’s not what you think!” Your boyfriend started as he moved off of the bed and towards you, fumbling for an explanation, but his lack of clothes told you everything. No matter what excuse he came up with, the intentions were clear. 

You choked up and you pushed him away. “Save it! We’re through!” Your voice wavered as you turned and ran out the door, covering your mouth with your hands in an attempt to stifle your crying. Unfortunately, you moved to hide in the bathroom to gather your thoughts, gripping the door handle and pushing when you realized it was locked. 

You looked around for something, you weren’t really quite sure what, but you knew you needed to be away from your boyfriend (ex-boyfriend, you reminded yourself) no matter what. In the heat of the moment, you stumbled your way downstairs and into the dining room. It was completely empty, which came as a surprise, but you realized it was probably because the living room was big enough for everyone to do what they wanted and the food was spread out in the kitchen and living room. 

You managed to take a second to catch a break. You were about to take your phone out to call an Uber when you heard Daishou calling your name. In a moment of panic, your eyes landed on the dining table in the middle of the room. Swiftly, and with less gravitas than you’d like to admit, you crawled under the table, thanking the lords above that it was covered in a table cloth that reached the floor. An interesting style choice? Sure, but you were thankful nonetheless.

Holding your breath, you heard your name being called before you heard footsteps leave the room. So there you were, crying under a table at a party. You could still hear the loud techno and pop music from the other room, albeit muffled, and let it drown out your sorrows. 

You thought of calling an Uber now, but you figured it would be smart to take the time to let your thoughts regroup so you at least stopped crying hysterically. 

***

“Please, Kenma?!” Kuroo pouted as he clasped his hands together, “C’mon, it’s not gonna be that bad, it’ll be really fun!” Kenma sighed. He looked down at his paused game of MonHun and took note of the time.

3:51pm.

It was nearing 4pm and Kenma still had yet to clear this level. “I already told you, I don’t wanna go,” Kenma started, “I don’t like parties.” That had Kuroo bouncing and flailing around.

“But Terushima always throws the best parties, they’re fun for everyone!” Kenma grunted in response, he had started playing his game again, Kuroo narrowed his eyes and pouted even harder. “Pleeease?! Everyone’s gonna be there, it’s gonna be great! But it won’t be fun without you,” Kuroo pleaded. Kenma scoffed at that, he considered agreeing just so shut Kuroo up, but he wanted to know what he was getting into first.

“Who’s gonna be there?” Kenma asked, not looking up from his PSP.

“Everyone!” Kenma thought it was almost comical how Kuroo immediately perked up. Kenma shot him an incredulous look. “Uhm, okay, so I know Bo’s gonna be there, which means Akaashi’s gonna be there… You can hang out with him!” Kenma hummed, only partially listening, “No, you’re right, you’re right! What was I thinking? Obviously Akaashi’s gonna hang out with Bokuto, which means I’m gonna have to third wheel!” He tuned Kuroo out as he went on.

Just as Kenma had lost another round, Kuroo seemed to have finished his rant about being a third-wheel and the dynamics between Bokuto and Akaashi.

“Um, well, I mean pretty much all of the Volleyball teams are gonna be there, Terushima really wants this to be epic! Uhm, other than that… Oh! Isn’t there that girl? I forgot her name but she’s dating… Daishou…” Kuroo shudders, Kenma hummed in response. “She’s in your class isn’t she? What’s her name, you can hang out with her!” 

“y/n.” Kenma offered, still not looking up from his game. 

“Yeah, that’s it! Ugh, she’s kinda strange… like, Daishou? Really? Last time I saw him, he was wearing that ugly sweater…” Kenma tuned him out once again. 

While Kenma continued his game, he subconsciously pondered on your relationship. You guys had never really been close, save for the occasional group and partner projects you guys did together, as was expected, you were in the same class after all. If Kenma was being honest, the only time he paid you any mind was when Kuroo brought up how Daishou was most definitely blackmailing you into dating him or something or the sort.

Fed up with Kuroo’s whining, Kenma spoke up after another round lost. “Kuro, I’ll go to the party,” Kuroo’s eyes widened as he gasped, sporting a surprised smile, Kenma continued, “But if I get bored or stressed, I’m leaving.” 

Kuroo nodded.

***

Needless to say, Kenma wasn’t having a good time. While he did enjoy seeing his friend, Hinata, again, the loud and, quite frankly, annoying music was starting to hurt his ears and the food provided was decent at best, meaning fast food pizza and about a million different bags of chips.

“Kenma! C’mon, get over here! We’re playing beer pong, I need a partner!” Kenma sighed as he heard Kuroo call out to him. From where he was leaning against a wall, he could see Kuroo, Bokuto and Miya Atsumu setting up red solo cups on a table. 

This had been happening all night, Kenma minding his own business, occasionally engaging in conversation with Hinata or Akaashi if they crossed paths, with Kuroo swooping in to try to get him to play some sort of party game with him. The first was Just Dance, which Kenma avoided by saying he was hungry, next came truth or dare, Kenma used the bathroom excuse on that one, and so on and so forth. The cycle continued, Kuroo hunting down Kenma and Kenma finding any way he could escape. 

That led Kenma to this moment: leaning against a wall in the kitchen playing on his PSP, with Kuroo struggling to maneuver around everyone to get to him. Kenma checks the digital clock on his PSP. 

9:46pm.

That seemed like a good time to leave, Kenma thought. As he was pocketing his PSP to get ready to make a dash for it, Kenma panicked for a moment, realizing that to get to the front door, he would have to pass by Kuroo and the beer pong table. Contemplating for a moment, he concluded that he would much rather wait it out and leave a bit later than have to explain why he was leaving. 

When Kenma came to his senses, he realized Kuroo was even closer to him than he thought. Scanning for options, he ran the only direction he could, through the arch connecting the kitchen with the dining room. 

In a moment of desperation, he ducked under the table cloth.

***

You checked yourself again in your phone camera. Thankfully, you had calmed down and stopped crying hysterically, and were only left with the occasional sniffle. Unfortunately, the redness was still very much present, as were the tears when you thought too hard about Daishou. Despite all the nasty things other people, especially in your school, would say about him, he was a kind person, passionate about many things and was very caring towards you: always cheering you up and lending an ear when you needed to vent. 

I guess he just… really liked Mika, then, huh, you thought to yourself as you hugged your knees close to your chest.

Deep in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed the frantic footsteps making their way towards you. You only realized something was off when the table cloth rustled and was lifted open, only for someone to slip in and under the table with you.

The boy seemed to be catching his breath when you made a startled noise of surprise. Hearing it, the boy snapped his head up to meet your stare. You were both just staring at each other with wide eyes, after a moment you both started fumbling out uhms and i’s, glancing around to avoid eye contact. 

After accidentally looking up at each other at the same time, you realized who the boy was.

“Wait… Kenma?” He blinked.

“y/n?” He responded with a tilt of his head, “Uhm, I’m sorry, I was just… trying to get away from someone…” You shifted in your spot, casting your eyes away in embarrassment hoping he wouldn’t see your red face and stray tears. “What about you?”

“Hm?” Your eyes widened in confusion.

“Why are you, uh,” he paused awkwardly and gestured around vaguely, “What’re you doing under a table?” You didn’t really know how to respond to that.

“Uhm… well,” you felt tears welling up in your eyes again, “I-” a sob wracked through your body. Completely overwhelmed with emotions, you burst into tears. Kenma’s eyes shifted frantically before he regained his composure, he had never really been good and expressing emotions or helping others with theirs.

Kenma thought to himself: What would Kuro do in this situation? Sure, Kenma had gotten upset lots of times, and Kuroo always knew how to help. He realized that one thing that Kuroo did was ask him if he wanted to talk about what was going on - of course, Kenma never did, but for some strange, unknown reason, it made him feel just the tiniest bit better. In the back of his mind, Kenma thought that it made him feel better because it told him there was someone who cared about him.

“Do you, uh, wanna talk about it? Maybe?” He winced at his awkward delivery, his hands fidgeting.

“Is that,” you sniffled, “is that okay?” Kenma tried his best to give a reassuring smile, he was sure it came off as strained.

“Yeah, sure.”

You told Kenma about your relationship with Daishou; how it started, all the ups and downs, and finally how it ended. How you kept having chance encounters: at school when you were out shopping and even late one night at a public library - that was the night he asked you out for the first time, and you couldn’t have been more smitten. 

During your relationship, he was so kind and considerate to you, and he never failed to make you laugh. You told Kenma how he even said that despite going to different schools, there was no one else he'd rather be that: that apparently didn’t stop him from hooking up with another girl.

After you went silent, Kenma found that you were finished. Despite only thinking of you as ‘that other girl in his class that was dating a volleyball player Kuroo hated’ until recently, seeing you cry and pour your heart out gave him a strange, internal attachment to you.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Kenma asked suddenly, turning to you and planting a hand on the floor, learning towards you ever so slightly. You blinked.

“What?” Surprised by his own outburst, Kenma decided to roll with it.

“There’s an arcade a few blocks down… sometimes when I get upset, I go there and it always cheers me up?” To be perfectly honest, Kenma wasn’t really expecting you to say yes. He expected you to brush him off, say you were feeling better and ready to go home. 

Kenma himself didn’t know why he asked, he usually didn’t really like spended excess time with people he didn’t know that well, but subconsciously, there was a part of him that wanted to help.

“Oh, uhm, yeah! Sure, why not?” You metally cursed yourself for your stuttering, it was bad enough you were info-dumping and completely oversharing, you didn’t want Kenma to think you were that weak. You sniffled again, realization dawning on you.

“We gotta find a way out of here first, thought.” You said. Kenma cringed. 

***

Long story short, you and Kenma managed to escape the table without anyone seeing you. You were extremely thankful, as it would have been very awkward if someone saw the two of you crawling out from under a table. 

Getting outside was another thing, thought. Kuroo and the beer pong table were still very much blocking the way out, and there was always the risk of bumping into Daishou again. After a bit of asking around, you found out that there was a backdoor in the kitchen, so you and Kenma were able to make your escape. 

Now you were playing away to your hearts’ content to some random racing game at an arcade. You both were playing side-by-side, versing each other. To no one’s surprise, Kenma was beating you. Deep down, though, Kenma was a little impressed you were able to keep up with him so well, being a religious player of Mario Kart himself and all. 

You both fleeted from game to game, playing almost every game available from shooting games to claw machines to even a Space Invaders-esque game. You had managed to earn a good amount of tickets, all thanks to Kenma’s membership card and the loose tokens he found in his wallet.

Eventually, you had played until the arcade was empty and one of the employees came up to you to tell you they were closed. They did mention that you could still buy some prizes if you wanted to, to which Kenma turned to you.

“Do you want to?” 

Over the time you had spent playing games together, you had gotten to know Kenma better than just ‘the quiet boy in your class’ in between passing conversations and empty, teasing threats, some of your favorites had been: I will steal your kneecaps and If you play with that character you don’t deserve rights.

“Yeah, sure!” You replied, a genuine smile crossed your face. 

In the end, you had gotten a keychain with a mini funko character on it and Kenma settled on a cute sticker that, with much encouragement from you, he stuck on the case of his PSP.

After exiting the arcade, Kenma took a moment to glance over at you. The empty street illuminated by semi-faulty lampposts, and he found it showed your face more clearly than all the neon lights of the arcade. Your tears dried up, although there were still hints of red in splotches on your face. 

As he watched you talk excitedly about your new keychain, he couldn’t help but feel a strange way, an unfamiliar feeling he had never felt before. It was warm in a way, something akin to stepping home for the first time after being away for so long. It was weird, in all the years he had known you, or been partnered up with you for whatever, he had never thought of you as anything other than a random classmate. However, after everything you had both gone through together that night, something new was forming.

Little did Kenma know, you were thinking the same. You noticed the little things about him; you thought back to how his nose would scrunch when he would mess up in a game or you would surpass him in something, or how his eyes lit up and almost sparkled ever so slightly when he was picking out stickers. Now that you were outside, you could see how his dyed hair swayed gently in the crisp November wind, or how his eyes would somewhat crinkle as he laughed when you made a joke.

After a few moments of silence, you spoke up. 

“Hey, so, I didn’t really get to eat at the party… Do you maybe wanna get something to eat nearby?” You asked, turning your head to Kenma. Realizing how that sounded like you were asking him on a date, you quickly stuttered out “Of course, you don’t have to! We can just get a small snack or, or maybe we don’t have to get anything!” You laughed awkwardly as Kenma showed no obvious emotions, however his eyes were slightly widened and his cheeks growing more red, but you chalked that up to the colder weather and surprise. 

Kenma suddenly remembered how he didn’t get a chance to eat as well, but in all the games you guys were playing, he didn’t get a chance to feel hungry. Realizing he had not responded, he quickly thought of a place to get food, his mind immediately wandering to 7/11.

“Oh yeah, sure. There’s a 7/11 down the street, if you want?” He said, and you were off.

***

Sitting in the 7/11 with Kenma under the fluorescent lights was oddly comforting. You were happily eating your warm soba noodles (topped with tempura) as Kenma ate his apple pastry (having already eaten half of an egg salad sandwich and wrapping the rest for later) as you engaged in mindless conversation, Kenma periodically pulling out his PSP to either play or check on things. 

During some random conversation about a new game Kenma was playing, you noticed him occasionally glancing behind you. Eventually, you looked behind you to see what looked like a newly installed slushie machine, touchscreen and all. Realizing Kenma wouldn’t speak up about it, you decided to take charge.

“Do you wanna get slushies?” You said with a grin. Kenma looked surprised for a second before lightly laughing.

“Sure.”

Over the machine, you tapped the screen to get a strawberry lemonade slushie, while Kenma opted for cherry one.

Slushies didn’t exactly pair well with warm soba, but tonight was apparently a night full of surprise, what with finding out about your boyfriend (ex, you reminded yourself), not to mention these spontaneous adventures with a random boy who was, you thought, not so random anymore.

“Wanna have a competition?” Kenma’s voice interrupted your train of thought, “Let’s see who can drink theirs the fastest.” You grinned.

“You’re on!”

After Kenma counted down, you both tried to down your slushie. Halfway through, though, you had to stop.

“Ah! Brainfreeze!” You exclaimed, clutching your head with one hand. Kenma also stopped drinking and laughed, “My head feels so numb, argh!” You hummed. “At least now I won’t think of Daishou anymore… My brain feels like it’s pounding like, like it’s having a rave or something!” It was getting late, meaning you were dangerously close to your stage of drowsiness that caused you to infodump like crazy. Kenma’s smile dropped every so slightly. 

“Hey, uhm,” he looked as though he was looking for the right words to say, “I’m really sorry about what happened, uh,” he scratched the back of his head nervously, “Sorry, I’m not great at… feelings… but, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.” 

You blinked for a second before smiling. 

“Thanks, Kenma.”

As you were finishing up the rest of your slushie, you turned to Kenma.

“Hey, uhm, I know this is pretty random but do you want to be my partner for the project we’re doing in science?” Kenma looked up from his PSP and stared at you, as if trying to remember what you were talking about, “The one about incomplete dominance and sex-linked traits? The teacher said you had to find a partner of the opposite gender so you could create a ‘hypothetical baby’, which, honestly, I find kinda dumb… Like, if the baby’s just hypothetical, then you could partner up with anyone, right? It’s not just me that feels that way?” 

Kenma remembered what project you were talking about, but he really enjoyed when you would continue on these rants. Being one to not talk that much, he liked how you were able to fill in the silence, although the times when you would be eating and he would be playing in silence were not as awkward as he thought, they weren’t awkward at all. 

“So… Do you want to pair up?” Kenma flushed, realizing he was mindlessly listening to you talk.

“Oh, uhm, yeah, sure.” You beamed.

bonus: you did your project on incomplete dominance and sex-linked traits and learned about the wonders of co-dominance in blood types. also kuroo was very worried about kenma leaving and thought he got kidnapped by a van that said ‘free games’ but it was all cool when he learnt kenma left with a girl ;)

[oh-anime]

He Said Hes Fine

A/N: I FUCKIN DID IT !! I wrote a haikyuu fic! i have loved this manga and anime for eight years and i finally wrote for it. ALBEIT its the shittiest piece of fic ever written but i genuinely hope you enjoy, maybe rb and comment??

summary: he always says it, whats different now?

words: 1399

warnings: Angst, no happy ending, collapsing, ambulance

Ao3 Link

“Im fine! Toss me another one!” Hinata, sweating with his chest rising with every breath, calls out to Kageyama. So the raven haired setter does with pinpoint accuracy the ball reaches Hinata's red hands but the fire in his eyes only burns brighter. The ball reaches the other end of the court before anyone can even see it.  Cheers roar from Karasuno's exhausted team as they take the final and winning set. Hinata and Kageyama celebrate together with hands connecting with so much force. “Yeah!” Hinata shouts

“We get it, you're good at the game” Tsukishima comments standing next to Yamaguchi. He takes the water Yachie offers him before engaging back into conversation with Tadashi.

“Jealous Tsukki?” Kuroo asks as he approaches from the other side of the next, Kenma follows, trying to steady his breathing. Hinata snickers before giving a grin to his opponents. “That was pretty impressive Hinata” The nekoma player compliments before ushering for Kenma to follow him as they join their team

“See you later Shoyo” The opposing setter waves goodbye.

“Wipe that stupid grin off your face” Kageyama spits hoping to break down the sunshine that blinds him. But nothing could, they did it, they beat Nekoma. And it counted, it counted for something. Hinata was on cloud nine. Not even Kageyama could effect him. “You did good Hinata”

Or maybe he could

“Whaaaaa?” He drags it out “An actual compliment? From-”

“You tell anyone and I never toss you another set” Kageyama shoves his hand over his teammates mouth.

“Tsk tsk, haven't you learned?” Tsuki approaches them “You're not the only person who can toss to Hinata..” The blonde looked to the defeated yet determined Inarizaki team watching from the sidelines “Not anymore...your majesty”

~~~

“Im fine! Let's go again!” Hinata claps, even their captain, Daichi was exhausted. But not the freak duo. Kageyama sighs but for some reason he couldn't say no, so with sweat practically constricting his view he tosses Hinata another ball watching with the same hidden amazement as it passes Nishinoya and scores them a point.

“Ok” Daichi manages as Kageyama and Hinata share in their cheer. “Good practice match everyone” He nods, feeling the silent gratitude from the other members of the team. “Kageyama, Hinata, since you two seem adamant on practicing you can clean up”. So with groans from the pair and laughter from Tsuki the rest of the team make their way home leaving the pair to close up.

“Do you ever get tired?” Kageyama wonders as they fold up the net. Hinata doesn't respond, in fact he stops in his tracks, his grip faltering a bit. “Oi, Hinata” Kageyama remind the small one of his presence

“Hm? Oh no! Never! Why get tired when this is everything I love!” And suddenly the odd aura was gone and the orange haired ball of energy was back. Kageyama shook off the odd feeling and finished cleaning up.

~~

“M fine” Hinata gives a lazy thumbs up from his desk. They were in the study hall for the last period of the day. Kageyama and Hinata had decided to meet Yamaguchi and Tsukki in their class for extra help.  

They had been doing their homework for at least thirty minutes before Kageyama noticed a slight falter and delay in Hinata's normal determined speed to finish his work. So naturally the boy questioned how he was doing. His response was soft, tired clearly but he still managed a smile.

It made Kageyama's face tingle, he knew his feelings had been surfacing but he buried them. They were for him, plus nothing would come of it. But still, that gentle smile, careful flutter of his eyelids...it was sweet and tugged at Kageyamas heart.

“Great, then finish your work” Tsukki dragged them back to reality. Hinata stuck out his tongue but ultimately set back to work. Once they had finished Tsukki and Yamaguchi wasted no time leaving the two to their own devices.

“Hungry” Was all that left Hinata's mouth, he stood with Kageyama following him making their way to the vending machine by the gym. “Whoever invented chips deserves a raise”

“Im sure they are rolling in money” Kageyama retorts poking the straw into his milk. “Wanna do some sets? Or are you too tired” he teases

“Im…” A yawn that could compete with a babys giggle in the cuteness scale “Fine”

So Kageyama spent the afternoon setting to an increasingly tired Hinata..but he just wouldnt let up.

~~~

“Im…” Bokuto waited for the response after his clear victory over his star pupil. Kageyama did too with his eyes still in shock after watching his perfect set...fail. “Fine” Hinata finished through a wavered voice.

“So we all agree? Hinata is clearly not fine?” Akaashi says receiving a nod from Bokuto, a small ‘yep’ from Kuroo and a thumbs up from a sideline Kenma too intently focused on his games.

“I am fine!” The orange haired fighter claims. “I missed a spike! big deal!” He throws his hands into the air in frustration. The training camp had been going well, a tough but educational experience.

Kageyama had his doubts when Bokuto and Kuroo invited the pair to a bit of after dark practice, concerned for Hinata's physical and mental being but of course his partner in-game was revving to go.

“Shoyo you should sleep” Kenma muttered, Kuroo pointed to show his agreement.

Don't call him that, Kageyama thought but he ultimately agreed.

“No fun! Any of you!” Hinata pouts, he sits on the cold gym wall, shivering at the chilled touch. Clearly he refused to go to sleep so this was their best bet at him getting any rest. Kageyama felt out of place in this group with Hinata out of commission but continued playing. He honed his other skills and had an interesting time serving to Bokuto and Kuroo but he found his mind focused on the stupid tangerine who refused to give it up.

~~~

“Im f-” He never finished it this time.

That's a first, Kageyama thought before turning around, his face morphing in horror. He watches as both Nishinoya and Daichi race to catch a collapsing Hinata, grabbing him before his head hit the ground.

“H-hinata” Kageyama could barely think. Everyone rushed to the fallen decoy, even Tsukki looked concerned but Kageyama was frozen. Or he was until Suga met his eyes, they told him one thing.

It was odd watching an ambulance pull up at their school. It was even more odd to watch Hinata be taken away. But the worst of the weirdness was having to tell Ukai and Takeda what was happening. Because he didn't know, and he hated that.

And he hated it even more because Hinata never faltered, he could read Kageyama like a book.

“You looked upset during the first period and it was your angry face number 3, so during lunch I went to the store and grabbed some milk!” Kageyama hadn't even registered Hinatas words before the boy skipped away leaving him with the beverage.

Everytime, no matter what, Hinata was there.

“Take a break, grab some ice from yachi and sit out. Observe what Kenma does ok? And make sure you get some water” Hinata said with the most even breath. Kageyama couldnt conjure words, his hands were numb and he couldn't even feel his head. But any outsider couldn't see that, the karasuno setter looked perfectly composed.

So how the hell did this tiny bouncing annoyance know?

Because he was there, and he cared.

“I knew and I saw for months..and I just ignored it” Kageyama balled his fists, he stormed away from the conversation ignoring the calls from his coaches.

~~~

“I dont just like you Tobio, I love you”

“I dont feel the same”

“Oh”

He regretted the words instantly

“Hinata-”

“Im fine” Hinata said, if you could even call the stoic boy that stood in front of him Shoyo Hinata anymore.

“Wait Hinata-”

“I said Im fine” He put a hand up before leaving the gym.

The gym typically felt full of life whether filled with his teammates or just littered with balls. No matter how many people were in it, it never felt empty, it breathed life and energy.

But in this moment

As Hinata left the gym with his quickly falling tears hitting the ground.

The gym had never felt more empty.