#im trying to put this under a read more but it wont let me??

[teardew]

-

im thinking about making a patreon because i .. uh .. i cant justify drawing for myself anymore and its killing me lmao

it takes me really long to draw so any time i hav should be spent on comms... iv been trying to fight off burnout by drawing things i like inbetween commissions like that sv anatomy practice and vampire/werewolf mngling was just for me but it still ended up setting me behind schedule because i had to rest my eyes and wrist afterward. but not only that i also wanna like. make a lot more things ...

like i wanna do animal, insect, architectural, jewelry studies and fashion and character design explorations and try designing icon packs and branch out trying embroidery with mixed media and clothes making and get into making like 3d things with clay and soft sculptures. i wanna make historical fashion coloring books with việt phục and fashion zines ...

also theres a lot of stuff i dont post bc im not sure if anyone would be interested in all the design concepts and notes i had for example the homestuck dreamer outfits or the various sha hualing designs and sketches i had before getting to the thing i posted? like i hav a bunch of different sqh outfit and hair designs but theyr more clothing based and not detailed character/face art ...

idk !! it sounds like an excuse. its like, who cares just post it ! i know i shouldnt value my art by the amount of numbers i get from posting on social media and i dont mostly but its kinda unavoidable ? to me ? i know i only post fanart and ppl follow me for that and its not a bad thing ! being realistic i just dont think anybody but me would be interested in it ??

i dont know. god. i dont know what this post is about. ''i dont think anybody would be interested in the things i really wanna make'' but im thinking about making a patreon for things i really wanna make anyway because thats the only way i can justify it is if i can profit off it in some way. i dont really want to, but with my financial circumstances i dont know. i never wanted to make my livelihood off my art. i dont even consider or call myself an ''artist'' really, i just want to MAKE art

i dont know why i still cant find a steady job after 5 months applying to everything and its making me miserable. its embarassing, they say to be persistent with jobs but calling and even walking in to check on applications and watching employers awkwardly try to turn me away without just flat out telling me no even though none of them hire me is an exercise in public humiliation. how bad do you want a job? bad enough to make a fool of myself with nothing to show for it. and i want to make art for myself to cope but it takes too much time and time is money

maybe this post is about my art anxiety under capitalism. i dont know

i think im safe enough now to admit my friends gofundme i was posting about months ago about helping their friend escape their abusive household was actually my gofundme because i was worried about them finding out and preventing me from leaving or internet stalking me afterwards. i did hav a scare when i got a phone call i thought was from my brother but ended up being a police officer, whos my mother's friend ...

but anyways. me admitting this is just to give context that. i ran hundreds of miles away from financial security and everything i ever knew and im still struggling to find steady income nearly half a year later. i just dont understand what im doing wrong. is it my name? is it because im not from here? iv been working continuously ever since i could legally my resume isnt BAD. am i just stupid? should i have just tried to make peace with my lot in life?

i thought getting away from my family would let me be in a better place to create more art, thats one of the things i was so excited about but this feels just as stressful as when i was the only earner supporting my family during covid. i just want a stable job so i can make art. i dont want making art to be my Job. i dont want to be a ''starving artist'' begging for people to care about my art i just want to make art. but fuck i dont know how to sustain any of this

sorry for this mess. insurance is different out here and i havnt been able to find a psych either so its not like i can talk about this in therapy instead of venting on my art blog. all my life i wanted to make things without the fear of it all being destroyed. the main reason i havnt branched out from illustrations is because its entirety can be saved digitally even if its physically ruined. my sketchbooks were thrown away or ripped apart by my family either from carelessness or anger to hurt me but now that im finally enough safe to have them again or make something i can hold in my hands without the fear that someone will come in break it and make me clean up its corpse i cant afford it

i dont know what to do. is it worth it? is making art worth it? i mean. its worth the rent this month. and i still love drawing god this is probably bad for business because i dont want people to feel bad for commissioning me or anything but not to be dramatic why does it feel like im fucking dying

[theartofclowns]

Distraction.

OKAY SO LIKE I REALLY HOPE THIS IS GOOD BECAUSE THE IDEA IS SO FREAKING AMAZING. AHAHJDJSHDF

a/n: first time writing smut so.. be nice! anyways hope you enjoy! NOT PROOF READ BTW!!

cw: AFAB reader!, oral! (reader receiving), slapping, slight choking, cum eating (idk if it counts correct me), slowburn kinda? TELL ME IF I FORGOT ONE PLEASE!!

wc: 4650

————————————

Art was in yalls shared bedroom, whiles you were in the kitchen on your laptop studying for you classes. You had a big exam coming up so you havent been giving him much attention as he wanted. You would oush him away when he tried hugging you, and when he would try to give you kisses. You were very focused and you couldnt have any distractions, not even to give your boyfriend a kiss or a quick hug. He felt unloved during this time and today he wanted it more. His day was shit. Full of his victims escaping and only getting about two kills in. He wanted your attention. He wanted you. And he was going to get what he wanted.

He walked towards the kitchen, where you were obviously, and he wrapped hims arms around your neck loosely. "art im busy. go away.", you say harshly. He stays there with his arms moving down to your shoulders. "art! im busy i said." you say with a slightly harsher and louder tone, clearly stressed. He shakes his head and pulls the chair from under the table. You finally look up from your computer screen and looked at him. His shirt off, and only his pants covering the rest. You smile slightly before shaking your head "babe im very busy.." you say in a softer tone. He mockingly pouts and sighs silently, his arms dropping, putting up a act. You feel guilty and finally get up from the chair youve been glued to for the past 2 days. You look up at him and sigh "what is it?" you ask. He then unexpectingly picks you up and places you on the table. he starts kissing up and down your neck, leaving marks here and there. You moan softly feeling his lips all over you. He then pulls away from your neck and starts rubbing your pussy through your shorts. You feel your cunt get more and more wet as he continues. He keeps eye contact and you look down at his hands. You feel his hand smack against your face and you feel a rough grasp around your neck forcing you to look up at him. He wasnt grabbing to much to where you couldnt breathe but enough to where you can breathe a little. You let out a small moan as he pulls your shorts down, revealing you soaking wet panties. He then rips them effortlessly off of you. He lets go of your neck and bends down to face your dripping cunt. You look down at him with needy eyes. He smirks slightly spitting on your pussy, making it wetter. He starts eating at your pussy like a madman, suckling on your clit and pushing two fingers into your pussy. You let out a low moan as you feel his fingers curling and pushing in and out. He then pulls away from your clit and pulls his fingers out as well. You whine and pout at him. He then mockingly pout and puts his hands up to his face in a crying motion. Humiliating you, he then silently laughs at you. You feel embarrassed and start to tear up. He slaps you once again before ripping a hole through his pants, freeing his huge cock, no matter how much youve seen it you still think it wont fit. Its a good 6.5 inches and has a little girth. You look down with a smile as he puts it up to your hole, he then pulls away and then does it once more. Over and over you get teased, you look at him and whine again "please just "fuck me.". He then puts a finger to his chin, ina thinking motion, before shaking his head. I guess is your karma for ignoring him for so long. He then takes you out of thought by pushing balls deep into your pussy. you moan loudly at this, clawing at his arms, making him look like a zebra. His strokes are fast and short. He then switches to slow, long, hard, strokes. You continue to claw at his arms, moaning softly now. He then quickens his pace once again, his speed is inhumane, you start moaning loudly again as you feel the knot in your stomach tightining. "i..im gonna cum art.." you whisper as your high crashes down onto you. Shaking your entire body. But hes not done, he keeps going, faster now, you dont know how its possible but its art. What do you expect? His strokes become slower and a bit sloppy as hes coming close to his finish. He then leans his head back as he cums inside of you.

He then stays inside of you for a few more seconds before pulling out and kneeling down to face your pussy again, cum spilling out of you. He pushes two fingers inside of you pushing his cum deeper inside of you. He stands back up and comes closer to your face, bringing his fingers to your lips. Cum on them, he presses against your lips, you open your mouth willingly as he pushes his fingers inside, making you taste yourself and himself. He pulls his fingers out after feeling they were clean. He then leaves you there. All fucked out and full of his cum. He goes to the couch and lays down on it.

---------------------------

well thats it! i honestly dont think he'd do after care so i didnt put any. IM SORRY! but anyways i hope yall enjoy this!

[mugzymiik]

HELLOOOO my old intro post is way too long so uhmm heres a better less complicated one

LAST UPDATED: February 20, 2025

HI HELLO!!! call me Gold. or October or Bug. those r my names but idgaf what im called as long as i can recognize it as me :D (pls don't call me Mugzy though)

i am bigender (transmasc + demigirl)!! probably!! gender has been hard lately!!!!!

any pronouns (but he/they + any neopronouns preference)

est timezone

DNI:

homophobics, transphobics, misogynists, racists, sexists, pretty much anyone whos bigoted and/or just an asshole

people who are under 13 (im an older teenager and i dont feel comfortable interacting online with people who arent even SUPPOSED to be online yet)

people who are or support transrace/transabled/transage/transx/transid/whatever the fuck

proshippers

pedophiles

users or supporters of ai """"art""""

supporters of cryptocurrency/nfts of any kind

drama stirrers

supporters/friends of cintagonisupet

supporters/friends of hxngr/constant_hungr/hungry_starving/whatever the fuck he goes by now.

supporters of mirei touyama animations/brebear jones

people named Ry*n or Q**nn. sorry hhh

people who obsess over Dead by Daylight. (i have bad experiences with a person who really likes that game- i wont say full-on dni if you like it because thatd be pretty damn stupid, but if you constantly post about it please dont directly interact with me a lot)

byi:

im a minor !!

i have autism, adhd and anxiety, among other things. im heavily disabled in general and i also joke about that a lot- if you dont like it lol sucks to suck , its my experiences to cope with not yours

i have a hard time reading situations so if i say anything bad/unneeded/confusing PLEASE let me know i /srs do NOT mean any harm to anyone 😭-

tone tags r needed aaa

NO WARPED FACIAL BODY HORROR AROUND ME PLEASE

i am a childish freak <3

i embrace my cringe (even if i get embarrassed about it sometimes /silly). if i find you going out of your way to harass me or anyone i know for being """cringe""" I'll spam your askbox with OwOs and UwUs i am being completely fucking /srs.

i ignore unsolicited dms from people i dont know too well unless it's important

sometimes i delete asks if i dont know how to respond to them ;; i apologize

i block people who make me uncomfortable

my fandoms:

the pink corruption/tpc

just shapes and beats/jsab

warriors

stray

other smaller hyperfixations, some of which come and go

my tags:

#mmmramblez (rambles)

#art + #animation/#writing/#shitpost

#ask

#drawing ideas + #for later

#kinposting

my fandom tags:

#tpc shorts but also not [tpc]

#golds tpc designs [tpc] (posts with the original tag will be edited with this one soon)

#tpc episode [tpc] (i download tpc eps and put em in a google drive bc i REFUSE to give brebitch more views.)

#trongle stash [tpc + jsab] (if you dont want your posts/art in this tag please let me know & ill remove it/try to remember to not put your stuff in it)

#tpc cats end [tpc]

my blogs:

@mugzymiik-infodump

@pinkcorruption-verysillyedition (tpc incorrect quotes; submissions are always open, probably looking for mods too if it gets active again 😭)

@lemonboynotcavetown (Gold rp blog, very headcanon-heavy)

@8sided-insect (BUG RP BLOG!!!)

@pinkcorruptionconfessions (tpc confessions :D)

@tpc-bugverse

(there r other ones but uhh im not listing em theyre REALLY inactive </3

FRIENDS & MOOTS!!!!! <333:

The Goobers <3

@many-faced

@darkhatkid

@/m00nlit_sage

other friemds that are Just As Cool!!! :D

@trash-jsab

@paw-ureyesout

@kitcatttt

@comet--storm

@anonymously-night

@cielos-pasteles

@astronic-fr

@lavthequad

@orchuris

@1nto-the-zone

@cyberrcyanide

@greenpentagon

@taxi-dummy

@cowboytorrenter

@tasty-eggs

@streetmurder

@thesealantern

@frozen-treachery

@octahedral-chaos

@makothedorito

@coresystem

@lesboyajaceare

@snakeualzayden

@fandomt4keover

@something-named-vexxie

@packitupkittycat

me other socials:

discord: @/mugzymiik

youtube: @/mugzymiik

bluesky: @/mugzymiik

instagram: @/mugzymiik

deviantart: @/MugzyMiik

toyhouse: @/MugzyMiik

toyhouse (au edition): @/goldenuniverses

art fight: @/MugzyMiik

strawpage: @/mugzymiik

my discord server!!!

tpcblr discord server! (not mine)

miscellaneous stuff i also wanna say cus why not:

i am a Very Heavy Kinnie of Gold from TPC and the triangle player from JSaB :D and also Bug (tpc oc) too

^my headcanons go for Gold Kin™ too :help: i feel.....snak.

i fucking love cheese and ranch

#1 Mother Mother fan

im so normal about triangles trust

i own Bug hi /silly

i love everything you hate and/or cringe at :)

other stuff:

art Status

commissions: closed with exceptions (cashapp is currently fucking me over the head with receiving money)

art trades: open

requests: closed, only open at times when i say theyre open

art info

commission information (DM ME)

other post shit i made

my tpc headcanons

tpc google drive

squeemsh

TPC SHOWDOWN

divider credits

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Hello, Im not really good at putting my thoughts into words and english isnt my first language, so im sorry if this doesnt make sence.

Cw talking about suicide

If killer and color got their happy ending and got to escape nightmare, I think killer would kill himself eventualy, specificaly i think it would be stage 1

As far as i understand wasnt it implied that killer was going to kill himself but then nightmare took him out of his au to work for him. And i dont think stage 1, in the rare ocurances that he was "awake" (idk how to say this properly ×_×) he wouldnt like being forced to kill again but now under someone elses command so maybe he will try to end himself too, but nightmare would propably cause a forcable switch to his soul so he would go back to stage 2.

Color let killer choose to go with him, so surely color wont entervine when killer decides to not exist anymore? Well i guess if killer chose to leave with color than maybe he decided that he wants to live, since working for nightmare, he would be dead anyway, either from nightmare or maybe form some other person while hes in a fight or somethingm

But as someone who relates to killer a lot.. i dont think this urges of wanting to die would go away that easily. Im sure stage 1 still thinks about it, and maybe he would feel guilty for troubling color with his problems , that he doesnt deserve to have color as a friend and hes only causing him trouble and such. Stage 1 would propably feel bad for killing people and causing pain to so many people maybe.. Im just thinking about how color crying having to let his friend go on his last walk, and killer comforting him, that this is truly what he always wanted...

If color was truly his friend he wouldnt take the freedom away from him and try to convince him not to do it right? Wouldnt killer think that color is taking that choice away from him. Or maybe it would be different with color, i dont know...

I dont know how to conclude this, I hope this makes sence... i love reading your theories and headcanons for killer and color, you made me care about him again after years of not being in the fandom^_^ i hope you have a good day

I get what you mean. And I agree that even in his Good Ending, killer will struggle in many ways. his self destructive tendencies and suicidal ideation and self harming behaviors wont just dissipate. And neither would the absolute shame in his existence, the belief he doesn’t deserve to exist.

I do believe that if color realizes that killer is dead set on killing himself, that existing just hurts him more, although it will be hard and color would exhaust every option first..I don’t believe color would ever take away killers choice. especially not when this is a choice thats been taken from him before.

..maybe they’d even attempt to do a double suicide or a suicide pact. but I think killer would want color to live, if only to keep him alive in his memory a little longer before they met again in the afterlife.

but heres the thing. killer & colors stories are one of the very few in the utmv that ends happily, on a hopeful note. And I don’t wanna take it from them when it’s something they fought so hard for.

and..well, the idea that tortured people can only find happiness and peace in death and will never ever heal..just upsets me a lot. i think killer deserves to live life, however long he has, with those who he loves and who love him back. and i want him to pass smiling and content.

he may not live to be anything close to physically elderly, but I want to believe he cherished the last few years of his life. and he was happy.

[thewisaaaaad]

Hey so I was possesed by another vision.

Im so sorry. Have anemoia AU. Anemoia means "having nostalgia for a time you never experienced.

Also this one dives a little into horror, and I made an image to go with it so. be prepared for that.

my yappin below the Read More.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why had you tried to be rid of me? Had I done something wrong?

Oh. oh I must have. something horrible, and now I have done something so much worse! A fool such as myself has no business being ROYALTY! Oh no, this will not do at all! My lord, reduced to a groveling peasant!

But now you are free! Forgive your humble servant for the shoddy illusion of the cult I had left you in, I needed time to prepare your surprise! I meant no harm by it, and it was no prison. You could leave at any time!

And now you have! But oh, oh my Lord, you still look so upset! My deepest apologies and condolences, my lord!

But that foul mood will not last, if I have anything to say about it!

I know! I'll put on a show! Only the finest entertainment will do! The worst of the worst, tormented for eternity!

All for You! What a wonderful circus this will be! Such a wonderful show, indeed!

The price of admission? Oh no such thing, my lord! I would rather impale myself upon a sword or twelve! I offer a gift instead!

Your crown! Your wondrous, red crown, returned to its rightful place!

This body? oh, merely a puppet, my lord! My main body is setting up the big show. If you wish to rip it to shreds, such is your right!

But there is so much more to do, once you are done!

There are plenty of heretical souls to punish here with it, so many traitorous souls to cut down at your pleasure!

Ooh, ooh! There are refreshments, too! Fresh marrow to sup upon, and warm blood to slake your thirst!

And for the main events! Oh! Oh, how the bishops shall suffer for your amusement! Heheheh, I'm rather proud of those, myself!

First, we have Leshy! He of Havock, reduced to bird seed! I made hawks pluck at his eyehole as he remains chained to a rock! But not in the way normal birds of prey do, oh no. They pluck at the same nerve endings.

every. time.

A being who relishes in chaos such as he will surely die of BORDOM from such a fate! oh, but do not worry, my lord!

I WONT LET HIM LEAVE THAT EASILY.

Next up, we have that rotten toad, Heket! She gets the honor of standing in a river, with fruit dangling just overhead! But she never gets to taste either, oh no. The pears retreat, just beyond the reach of her grubby mits, whenever she dares to try and seize them.

And that frigid water that rushes past her legs? Why, her parched lips will never reach its surface! the spiked collar around her fragile neck will make sure of that.

SHE WILL FACE THE VERY FAMINE SHE ONCE RULED.

As for Kallamar. Well, lets just say that I was tempted to make him shove a boulder up a hill for eternity, but his weak noodle arms could barely push a small rock! It was so pitiful, I couldn't even stand it.

So I decided to play to his strengths.

A god of plague should be more than a match for his domain, right? Hehee! I thought so too, but his vomit seems to suggest otherwise! I have lined up a wonderful conga line of suffering for the cowardly squid, a beautiful set of symptoms that shall create a wonderful symphony of agony!

Ah, but I haven't left him defenseless! that would be no fun at all! I have left him a table of tools, a bouquet of medicine to try ant treat what ails him!

But every, SINGLE time he starts to recover to a mere cough...

I HAVE ANOTHER CRIPPLING ILLNESS WAITING IN THE WINGS!

And Shamura!

...ah, Shamura.

It was so hard to find a punishment that got a good reaction out of them. Every single form of torture, from boiling in oil, to being crushed under a lead cloak, they took all of it on the chin.

"Through this, I will repent" MY ASS!

But I figured out a hell that makes them squirm. Its so ingenious!

I simply employed the same punishment that they made YOU suffer through! Ehehee, with a slight twist, of course!

They get to watch their siblings SUFFER for all eternity! Hah, and they get to sit there, knowing, KNOWING that this is all their fault! AHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Oh don't look at me like that, you aren't part of their family! They forsake that honor the moment they thought to put you in chains!

...oh, and before you go enjoy the festivities, I wanted to tell you one last thing.

I will be hosting a show of my own! "The Comedy Of the Last Lamb!" oh, I have been working SO very hard on it! I do hope you enjoy it! The story will be a little... tweaked, from how it actually went. The new ending should fit your tastes MUCH better than how... It had gone.

I do hope you'll show up to see it!

You have a starring role in it, after all.

Please, enjoy yourself.

My lord.

[raven]

As someone who plays persona I feel you’re a good person to ask: should I play a persona game

you know a game is a real one when the answer is "if you do, please dont think im stupid for liking it". the first persona game anyone should ever play is persona 5 royal and that game is. well. the best part isnt until 70-90 hours in on average. tries really hard to be a social commentary but fumbles basically every aspect. can barely keep a cohesive character arc for most main characters. "the gameplay is really good though" -karl marx. so like short answer, do you have a hundred hours or so and want an excuse to hate on something's story and politics while also having a good time in the actual gameplay, sure... i feel like i can recommend this to any general person but i feel less confident recommending it to you specifically as i feel you are a woman of taste. but you're also someone who loves the slop at times. and what is this game if not slop. i put the rest under a read more because i said too much. My bad for being loquacious

like storywise i do like it... Mostly. and i do like the characters. and i think akechi is genuinely a great character, well written, well acted, yaoibait, knocked everything out of the park with him. he is what kept me going, but if you dont like characters whose main flaw is that theyre a teenager and therefore stupid, he might not click with you. like yeah, everything he does is poorly thought out... it's consistent. it's in character. and he does it with such swag, too. everything in the game's story seems designed around him, including the phantom thieves themselves. but i dont know whats in it for people who dont like him. not that you'll really get to know him for a good chunk of the game. which is the biggest thing... i could say "keep going, it gets better" but... does it? for everyone? it did for me, but it was made in a lab for me.

the game can understand that violence against women is wrong, but it doesnt understand what violence against women is. it can understand that the current system isnt working, but is too weak to actually take a stance on how to fix it. it's too obsessed with giving the player a power fantasy than to give them any challenges at all, or to make them think for a second. which i like in a game. i like it when games fuck up hard because theres more to discuss. and one of my biggest issues was discussed in the very last part. not necessarily to the depth i would have preferred, but it lets you draw your own conclusions. it also really shocked me at one point near the end there, which really colored my view in a positive way. i had grown complacent. i stopped thinking. i didnt think the game could do anything interesting... and then it did. but that level of shock was only because of my specific proclivities... i dunno. like it's hard to defend.. oh also theres a massive climax that builds up to a twist and reveal which is genuinely one of the worst ive seen a story ever do it, especially with such a strong set up. like genuinely laughable. but once you reach that part you're about 3/4 of the way through so you cant really stop there just have a laugh and know it's almost done.

the gameplay IS good though. like it's not only flashy, it's fun. i think the only issue is that it can be too easy, and the merciless mode is famously easier than hard. but as persona games go, it really is the best. it's just fun! the social sim elements are... well lets just say the majority of character writing in this game is stupid. otherwise, it can be fun to try to balance everything. it's possible to do it all on your first playthrough even if you don't know the perfect strategy, but if you fuck up too much you really wont be able to finish them all.

but heres the thing: metaphor refantazio just came out, which, aside from the time aspect (you have so much time lol) almost improves on persona 5 in every way. it's slightly less misogynistic. the social commentary... well, its fantasy racism, but it's a little more well thought out than p5's. but the main thing is the gameplay. and like, the gameplay in p5 was already good! metaphor is much more balanced for difficulty than p5's, but if you really get a hang of character building you can really take control. the slight differences in battle systems really take it for me. press turn system every day. i adore it. basically you get turns if you hit a weakness but if you miss you lose two turns. same goes for the enemies, so you can really get destroyed, but you can dodge every attack and they wont be able to do shit. but the story is, well, it's okay. there were some really good moments, and i liked it mostly because its kind of.. the least bad anyone could ever do it? it's pretty idealistic but just seemed like, nice in a way that i really cant describe. like, i have my issues with it that i could go into detail, but i still generally liked it. beautiful presentation as well-- and is that not all that matters? give me literally anything with a beautiful cutscene and I'll be tearing up. and the words "election magic" are so potent to me. its also shorter than p5r. but will it stick with me as much? no. would it have caused me to play the rest of the persona games? unsure. have i listened to the soundtrack so often while falling asleep that atlus is my number 5 artist on my spotify wrapped, not because the soundtrack is so calming or because i especially like it, but because i was trying to conjure a character in my dreams? NO. and persona 5 was a resounding yes on all fronts.

in terms of the other persona games, i dont recommend 4 unless you want to feel like, actually bad? i dunno it just put me in a foul mood. it was like radiation emanating from my switch for several weeks. incredibly homophobic with a side of (possibly slightly unintentional) transphobia. as well as some very fatphobic jokes (what game from this time period doesnt, but.. well it's bad every time!) and of course our classic misogyny. all this and the gameplay is worse than every other (new) persona game, and the story is fine. it thinks its twin peaks at the beginning. it is not twin peaks. LMFAO. 3 is better than 4 but theres not really a definitive edition even though it just got remade. each version has its ups and downs. if you look it up and any of it compels you i can give you more info on that one. the aesthetics alone are enough to be compelling , I'll admit. if you like boring and repetitive gameplay this ones for you! Im being serious. the story's pretty good though, and the characters are probably the best in the persona series. 2 (which is a duology, but the gameplay is the same and the second is well, a sequel) is pretty bad gameplay wise that i would only recommend if you're really into the series. i really liked the story but yeah i dunno. eh, it's fun. hard to recommend. 1 is okay. underwhelming. nothing much.

[moldsporesinhaler]

pinned intro (a bit long, so cut off, but feel free to read. if you plan on interacting with me i advise you read) (edit: you dont have to read the pinned intro no more just click my carrd if you want to. its updated.)(site looks better on PC)

NO DONATION ASKS. -> https://www.tumblr.com/nhadyaoi/770454720828653568 (donation asks will be unanswered + asker will be blocked)

hi! im nick :)

general info:

he/him//it/its pronouns - cis AMAB dude - christian - autistic - bisexual - black + hispanic - feline therian (just grey tabby cat, no specific breed i think) - minor

not a furry.

things i like

- just shapes and beats

- murder drones. somewhat (crippling hyperfixation i had on it ended a while ago, dont expect me to post much about it)

- dialtown

things i like very autistically and will not shut up about once it is brought up

- just shapes and beats. but none of my current friends talk to me about it. so. yeah i think im too annoying 👍🏽

- cats. cats. all of them. i will talk to you about cats for hours. days. i will lock you in my basement to tell you about cats. for example. did you know cheetahs purr and meow because they dont have the cool big cat vocal stuff (gets pushed offstage)

- vampires

- robots, mechs

- cars

BYF/DNI

- i talk. a lot. if its too much for you and you want me to stop. PLEASE!! TELL ME!!!!!!!!

- if you follow me, chances are, i'll follow you back because my blog is still pretty small and i dont have many followers yet anyway. besides, i feel like its basic internet etiquette to fb everyone;; unless its like, not, anymore? idk (i dont fb EVERYONE however. simply if i think your blog is cool and youre not a bot)

- if i like you im gonna tag you on random cat posts, because i can.

- as aforementioned, im a minor. dont be weird. im not even 15 yet. nsfw blogs you know the deal

- i have attachment issues :'/ ++ act dumb and childish sometimes, if not often

- if i act or seem rude/standoffish/aggressive/avoidant its usually not intentional. if i say something that sounds rude please forgive me and know that i typically have no ill intent . :'] its just the way i come off sometimes i try not to be mean trust me

- i happily and obliviously interact with blogs i dont know/non mutuals, sorry (i try not to). you may or may not be here reading this because i liked and rbed 5000 of your posts

pleaseplease PLEASE let me know if it makes you uncomfortable and ill stop. idrk tumblr etiquette i just got here

- you dont have to do this 24/7 (i can interpret tone SOMEWHAT well, not great) but please use tonetags when talking to me. especially if its something like an inside joke, i easily misunderstand things

- keep in mind, i am disabled. if im slow sometimes w art, communication etc you gotta be patient with me. i suffer chronic fatigue along with the tism

ough. ok. dni list

- basic criteria, you know who you are. i dont think i need to put "nazis dni"

- proshippers. you are not welcome here.

- nsfw blogs. i mean, i guess you CAN int, just, don't talk to me please :/ + i will not fb

- anti furry/therian/otherkin + anti agere/agdre

- anti palestine/gaza, pro israel

- children under 13. get off tumblr and play outside, this is not the site for you just yet :) you guys are notoriously bad actors on the internet anyways. just dont interact

- mutuals/anyone ive interacted with before, you're totally welcome to join my discord server. just be nice. heres the invite:

(psssssst dont be scared to join. if you join i WON'T kill you.) + theres lots of other members you certainly wont be the only one. so it wont be awkward

gah

friendos. mutuals. cool blogs::::

@furrycatas3922 this is winter and she is my beloved wife of 25 years (dc friend since early jul 2024 and we draw stuff for eachother n play roblox together).

i am married to winter

if you steal winter from me i will find you. (/j)(hi winter)

@mugzymiik mutual. they draw + animate cool tpc n jsab stuff 👍🏽 (hi mugzy)

@sodascreen first blog i had follow me back on here, hello first moot :)

they draw cool stuff

ok thats it if i have anymore bullshit to add ill add it. bye. happy tumblring. tumbling?? tumble?? tumbling. 👍🏽

liking this post will give me the general impression that you read all this btw 👍🏽

[wholemeallbread]

help me decide: shidou, sae, or kaiser

this is an extremely important question that provides little to no contexf, but ill give you my (multiple) answers. (im really bored)

before i waste your time (i still am going to waste your time writing this entire thing) i have a theory that ur going to draw smth... the short answer is mostly kaiser but i have like another little bit under the cut and the rest is yap (if u think im joking i genuinely wrote 4 paragraphs on some random questions)

So! sae sae sae sae sae he doesnt seem like he would habs big muscles... hes just kinda 🧍‍♂️ ykwim? 🕴️. HOWEVER I DO THINK HE WOULD COPY SNAPS LIKE THAT!! thats him in his silly mood. we love that for him. shiddouuuuu might be the same case. does he even train his body or is it just natural from practice? then again he picks up charles like hes nothing but it could just be adrenaline. i think shidou would have big chesticles but lets not delve into that... KAISER ANYWHA!!! he may look lean but if he FLEXES youll see some apples (hello what does rhis even mean) i think he takes pride in his stature but he only shows it off when need be.. to shut the haters out if ykiwmwiym. sleeper build but its like lean. i would say boom shakalaka

but if we're talkinf ahour rhis specific trend i havent seen one for shidou yet. but would sae (in question, if hes the one asking) really go BOOM SHAKALAKA? or would it be someone else? but who is the question. literally nobody likes him like that except for sae and charles really wouldnt say that either... HEAR ME OUT ON THIS THEORY! HIORI!!! i think i saw somewhere that shidou watched him play games on his phone ajd honestly who wouldnt like hiori. would hiori like him back? nop. according to the bllk bible or whatever 🤓☝️ hioris type is someone who gives him space. shidou.. heh.. spaceless. he is your space.

lets say in theory which one would be the best to date. kaiser is not an option. emotionally it would be shidou. it may not show because sae is equally as freaky, but i 100% beleive that he will always try to match your vibe. he's always trying his best... slightly pathetic slightly concerning but the effort is clear. physically, it would be sae. he may not be emotionally available but he would take care of you or whatever... OUT OF BOREDOM. wat an asshoel! this sounds bad but youd be more like a sea monkey to him. yk sea monkeys? those fish that u can get like eggs and dump them into a container... and then they just exist... and u cant do anything with them... (i was going to say smth else but lets keep this pg 😼) yeah

now lest say in theory youre stuck on an island and you're left with one of them. sae is the worst because he cant do anything and hes a worthless bum! we all cheered! shidou hm.... we have no backstory yet so we dont really know what his life was like. in theory, if there was a tiger on the island, he will fight it barehanded. kaiser is 1# but thats kinda sad so we wont expand on that. theres a chance that he knows what to do, but hell make you do it in his place. and then he gets a flashback and runs into the forest never to be seen again

if ur thinkinf avout who to write for thenn hmmm... i dont really think a lot of people read for shidou?? i just never see many fics for him. kaiser is also great but i think its difficult to put a finger on his character/personality without knowing his entire backstory first (im guilty of this) and how he would really act around somebody he loves bc we just dont see that. if anything, we are all in #saveness squad and no you dont have the option to leave. our nonchalant king sae can sometimes be boring, but if u write him right (heh rhyme pun) and make him a little... cheeky... heh.... 😼😼😼

if its for a theme... hm.... shidou really doesnt have that many pretty scenes/panels yk?? he looks constipated half of the time. his bowels need some help. or a creep. we accept that either way. my personal pick for you 🫵 would be kaiser bc u just give me 🅱️lue vibes.

[sirxlla]

Bigger Picture

------------------------------------------------

Warnings: Fluff

Prompt: Reading with Tim on the very little time off he has during his "vacation." (aka Art told him to go home and forced him a few days off.)

Notes: female reader, italics are actions and thoughts.

-With that said it's all under the cut-

You ran you hands through Tim's hair as he laid down on the couch with his head in your lap, your fingers in his hair and nails gentle against his scalp earned a few hums of content from those pretty lips of his. He was reading Harry Potter for the first time, he didn't tell everyone but he was an avid reader. Tim always loved to read to decompress after work, it usually pulled his mind away from whatever bullshit he was dealing with.

You had told him to get audible so he could listen to them and he politely declined, a normal book book let him stay alert to his surroundings whereas an audio book didn't. Just general perks of being with someone that was in the military, they have to have the seat facing the door, they have to know where all exits are, checks the doors like three time before bed amongst other things like the way he made the bed, the way he combed his hair, the way he couldn't sleep past six and the nightmares of his time in Iraq.

"I just can't believe Art sent me home, I mean that girl needs my help." There was something about this case that was driving him up the wall and he couldnt pinpoint it.

"Maybe he thinks its cause youre too close. Maybe getting away will help you get a fuller picture." You offered your advice hoping to help calm the irritation in that Texan accent with more than just your hands.

"I feel like fuckin Blue's Clues putting all this shit together on my own then Art pulls me out and crates me." He huffs, clearly chomping at the bit to try to figure out this piece of the puzzle.

"Hey, Blue is cute, you're sexy...Entirely different." A smile graced your lips as you responded, You had spent a lot of time with him and he had encouraged a sharp tounge and quick wit. It hadnt been perfect but you were getting better at it.

"Blue didnt get punished for doing his job." Again another huff left his throat as you looked down at him.

"Art's not gonna be the only one punishing ya if you dont quit huffing, makes me feel like you dont wanna spend time with me." You stated as this was the only time you two had even remotely gotten to chill together or relax in a while.

"I'm sorry, Honey. I'm just stressed over it." His tone changed a bit.

"I don't mind you talking about the case, Baby. Im sorry, I was being selfish." Your tone changed as well, you didnt want him to feel guilty for doing his job like Winona did to Raylan.

"I just dont know why she wont talk to me, she knows its the only way to get her protection." He's still tryna scramble his brain on why this woman wouldnt talk considering she's got no reason in his mind not to.

"Maybe she wants protection for her and someone else? She got a boyfriend, best friend, mom, dad?" You asked trying to be helpful in any way you could and your outside perspective sometimes gave him that aha moment with something he'd overlooked.

"She doesn't really have anyone else. Her Daddy died when she was a kid, her Momma ran off to shithole Indiana and her boyfriend's in the Lexington jail right now for her ratting him out." He leaned his head back into your lap but that was when he noticed a bit about your belly and boobs, they were slightly larger.

"Are you pregnant?" He asks with a bit of wonder and excitement.

"Yeah, I- I was gonna tell you at dinner tonight." Your tone was nervous, tracing his nose gently knowing your kid will look so similar. He eyes flitted back and forth in realization of you but also the case.

"I think you just helped me figure this out! She's afraid that if she says something she'll go to jail and then she can't be a be a mother within prison walls." He grabs his phone and calls Raylan to update him on whats going on. Tim's brain was always slightly on work but thats just what came with dating someone in a profession as such.

You kissed his neck as he chatted with Raylan, teeth gently nipping at his neck which caused Tim to cut his conversation short.

"I gotta go, Raylan. Keep me in the know." He said before he hung up quickly with a mischevious smile on his face.

"Oh, youre getting it now!" He laughs as he picks you up and carries you back to your bedroom whilst you giggle and squeal as he tickles you.

That night was similiar to others to come, his hands on your belly, he did that every night. He was proud of you for being so strong but also so paitent with him, dating any first responder type wasnt easy and his being so much worse cause he was often being shot at in one of these shithole Kentucky hollers. You were all he could ask for, strong, paitent, kind and goddamn gorgeous.

Masterlist <- -> Tim Masterlist

[lotus-sunn]

@katentines this is your fault/pos

So lotus-moonn I have been THINKING ABOUT HER. And I decided since my pfp is sweet mikey I thought maybe if lotus-moonn existed

they would use covert-mike (Mikhali) as their pfp since well if you know anything about covert mikey then its fairly obvious why I choosed him

I thought of her personality and I conclude..Shes a fucking dick. or atleast more blunt and straight forward not caring about someones feelings and wouldnt see the reason to soften the blow. Would say "that looks like shit" to your face and call you out for more of your wrong doings

I love the DRAMATICS but i think too much is wack so maybe she would have a love for all types of dramatics.

I love to make a good first impression and I am pretty sensitive when it comes to being yelled at in a aggressive way. I start to cry as the yelling continues, so she would NEVER (rarely) cry. It would take a lot for her to cry, and first impression? who gives a shit she is gonna do what she wants and not give a shit if you like her or not.

Not a hugger or very touchy its rare for her to even touch anyone (fucking insane i know) Suprisnly less of a realist. (im a realist) More of a lets just do it and find out. Doesnt care for people who overthink she doesnt get it. like cmon your thinking too much LETS GO.

Not much for reading feelings she just freezes if they confide in her. She is pretty serious. If you told her a joke she would take it literally.

social cues??? she doesnt know what that is?? context clues what??

(fucking dumbass)

Doesnt swear. literally man she doesnt. I swear like sailor so she wouldnt. Why use swears when you can insult someone in more creative ways? she doesnt get the appeal.

really really smart in the education level. Works slow and good, doesnt work well under pressure.

opptimistic? no? but also yes.

one thing I wont change. She is stubborn but not me type stubborn. She is fucking STUBBORN once she decides something its set in bedrock she ingraved it into its very core your not changing her mind

(people trying to rehabiltate lotus-moon get meet with her fist)

was a kid who was more reckless and got more injuries (i was the same. but she actually broke a bone.)

faking confidence? she doesnt do that depressing bullshit. her confidence is real but that gets in the way of most of goals she has so much faith in herself she grows arrogant. She thinks that whatever she puts her mind to WILL happen doesnt matter who come in the way

fighting? HELL YEAH. SHE FIGHTS WITH ALL HER MIGHT! exploding PASSION!

I dont get sick easily. She does tho (LOSER COULDNT BE ME) its cold and she doesnt wear a scarf and jacket GET SICK BITCH (and very sensitve when sick. Im not i can function well enough. she is like fucking DEAD like family guy dead pose.)

hopeless romantic? fuck no romance is icky she doesnt like it.

very Social. ikr what the fuck?? if anything she wouldnt be. And you'd be right but Im not very social i have a close friend group of 5 people THATS IT. so she would be very social despite her dumbass not knowing of social cues.

[withgreatpowercomesmyfuckingdick]

brief rant on me hating online school scroll if uninterested

i just. fucking hate online college.

im going to start with omfg these people don’t give two shits about their students which nah fucking duh. this is a technical college putting courses online to cut corners and do more courses with less teachers because they’re BROKE. it isn’t ideal and i am completely self taught. let me repeat that. i am COMPLETELY self taught.

i am also working at a tax office. during fucking tax season. my teachers are pretty much completely unsympathetic.

and sometimes im like well maybe im lazy, maybe im not doing enough, and then i have to remind myself: I’m fuckin ADHD. I’m severely under medicated, as in my meds don’t do shit anymore and I currently can’t access new ones. I TRIED to get on disability, because schools CAN get you accommodations for ADHD, and the lady in charge of the office ignored me. I emailed her several times, got the read receipts, and she ignored me. She doesn’t even have an office on campus, so I can’t ask to speak to her.

and it’s not like im dumb or can’t keep up in learning. i know my shit. i ALWAYS know my shit. i just don’t do well with conventional assignments and i don’t do well with the online schooling system because i have no way to separate my personal and school life. assignments just rack up in front of me and im procrastinating on them right fucking now because it intimidates me when its like that, even when i know if I don’t complete these my grade will get worse. i’ve hit a point where the urgency makes me shut down instead of going into overdrive because there’s too much shit going on at once for me to stress myself out, even though i SHOULD be stressing

I’m doing my best. I am, but the odds are stacked against me and my teachers are no help. I feel whiny and bratty saying that because it’s fucking college, ofc teachers don’t give a fuck, but I don’t understand how these people don’t even teach me and can’t find it in themselves to give me some leeway on an assignment I’m turning in late or didn’t even know existed, or straight up giving me a ZERO over an assignment I broke my BACK over because the annotations weren’t the specific format she wanted. im fucking exhausted and so so sick of watching the grades decline because I can’t keep up, and no matter how I try to explain, they’re giving me the polite, roundabout version of “skill issue, tough break, get good” and fucking moving on. i know im a drop of water in the bucket and this means absolutely nothing but its so FRUSTRATING and i’ve got parents breathing down my neck that hate to see C’s, and C’s might be the best I can give them at this point.

i want to just quit at this point honestly, but i wont, because i didnt get to this point just to fucking quit. im going to aim for B’s out of spite, and I’m going to bug the shit out of my teachers, and I’m going to ace my fucking finals just like I did last semester so i can walk out throwing birds over my shoulder.

thanks for coming to my tedtalk or wtv

[fatuismooches]

My previous asks about biting is just because i have cute aggression and your works are so cute (usually, one time i wanted to test out how dramatic my mascara was so i read some of your angst, cried) but now that i really think about it? my number one competitor is Il Dottore himself

It's my personal headcanon dottore has really bad cute aggression, sure it's mainly under control now because he's been alive for fuckinf Centuries (for all childhood friends works where the reader is male would it count as old man yaoi- *gets shot*) but with his lover? absolutely out of control

Maybe they're cuddling and his lover's hand gets close to his mouth? eated, chomped

childhood friends reader who has scars on their arms because of how hard dottore has bitten them

it gets so bad that the reader has to give him a taste of his own medicine, he bit them a few minutes ago and now he has his hand by their mouth? EATED (he gets so confused and then Realizes, unbeknownst to you, you started an all out war.)

Make sure to wear turtlenecks during the chomping war because if you walk past him wearing like, a tee-shirt he'll just move the collar of the shirt (or even stretch it, bastard) just to bite your shoulder and then act like nothing happened

after about the first week, you both look like you were mauled by a small cat.

Eventually, a truce is made, so it's not as bad, but you two still bite each other like feral cats.. It's just more provoked rather than "i have to get them back IMMEDIATELY"

So there's not as many bite marks everywhere, mainly on each other's arm and hands now because, what else are you supposed to do if your lover's hand is by your mouth? kiss it? fucking casual. Bite his cheek and watch him go absolutely insane though

some other harbingers who i think have cute aggression but not as bad

The second place is pantalone, he isnt bitey, but he will grab, squish, and tug at your cheeks aggressively if you say or do something cute whole cooing about the cuteness of what you just did

columbina will just, hug and squeeze you really REALLY tight if you do something cute, its hard to breathe but thats ok

the last and (funnily enough) least aggressive when it comes it cuteness, is childe, he'll hug you tightly (not as tight as columbina) and squish your cheeks, but only for a few seconds (unlike pantalone, who will literally make your face numb) he is lime a healthy mix of both of those two, he will get bitey however. - 🎈 pspsp smooches cmere i promise i wont bite you (lying)

🎈 ANON?? HELP IM SORRY FOR MESSING UP YOUR MASCARA I DIDNT MEAN TO 😭 (or did I?) But omg, I honestly didn't know what cute aggression was until now, thank you for informing me of this AND I'M GONNA BE STEALING YOUR HCS BC THATS TOO CUTE 🤲❤️❤️😭

I'm just. EXPLODING 💥 Bro doesn't know how to control his biting strength too so he ends up drawing blood sometimes 😔 (But it's okay since it's Dottore) I bet people assume the scars you have are from something cool like battles but nope... you got BIT by a human, multiple times at that. The first time it happened you probably let out a little scream because he's literally nomming on you unprompted and... you've never met anyone who does that 😨 I wonder if he even has an explanation for it or he just... does it? He just wants to bite you and he will, you can't stop him😭🙏

I mean, you get used to the random bitings, but if there's one thing about you, is that you will put him in his place if need be! If Dottore thinks he can just go on ranting about his research after fatally biting you, he's wrong 😒 He starts waving his hands around in excitement and you know what. Bitten. Nom-nom. Congrats. This is one of the very few times Dottore's rendered speechless. (Worst mistake of your life.) You know how regular couples give each other good morning/night kisses? Well Zandik does something like that... he just bites you unprovoked instead. It's the absolute worst during the Akademiya because you're sweating so hard trying to cover all of your skin but also trying to avoid getting nipped on the neck by that irritating deadly scholar 🫠 He is so nonchalant about it too 😒 But you're not. As soon as you land a bite you're grinning so hard and he's just like 😐 Ehehe... pretending to kiss his cheek and then nibbling on it and giving it a lil bite... I'm evaporating... i love the little love bites <3

THE PANTALONE ONE IS SOOO TRUEEE AWWW 😭🥺🥺🥺 I see him as very touchy so omggg him squishing your cheeks is so cute 😭 You would just be talking and saying something unintentionally adorable to him and all of a sudden he's cupping and then squishing your cheeks all while going on about how cute his darling is, and your words are now getting all garbled up 😔 it's A NEED. (Then he'll kiss your cheeks so gently if you get pouty cuz he pulled too hard :(( <3)

100% agreed on Bina she is. A MONSTER. when it comes to those hugs, you may faint if you don't build up some resistance to it. You can try to do it back to her but for some reason, she isn't really affected by it even if you muster up all your strength, but she still adores the notion! And Childe... RAHHH THESE ARE SO GOOD!! It's funny for him to be the least aggressive but his co-workers are something else I guess 😭 We love a king who's so affectionate but also won't kill you with it 🤭 I imagine if you return it he would be so flattered...especially if you're strong enough to actually keep him from leaving your hug. Now that's the good stuff.

🎈 anon 😳 you can bite me if you want, I don't mind 😌🫶

[kindred-spirit-93]

*succinct & eloquent opening line. maybe a clever joke or quote* :D

do you ever sit there and contemplate your life choices after like a certain experience or a talk with a loved one?

do you ever come across a quote or a piece that seems like it was written for you in this particular moment in time? an anecdote that mirrors your current situation perhaps?

well im currently going through it & after a double whammy of mama lore TM during some resurfacing anxious & assorted crises, i dont even know what im going through anymore. but we shared a really sweet heart to heart and reminisced over good and less good times aw!

i am reminded that there is still much to life, light to be sought and found, good times yet to be had. its bittersweet. its mature. its scary? its like coming to terms with your mortality but on a smaller scale. or bigger whos to say...

i wont be venting anything, i think for now at least im content to vague post lmao. also my dad bought me some stress eating treats so i might need to go wallow in my feels for a bit

after i jinxed myself by saying im going on hiatus but failing to stay off the website lol (i had moot withdrawl symptoms sue me), i wont be repeating the same mistake, but with context clues i trust u can see where im going with this

it might sound presumptious to state so confidently that this next month of my life will be the hardest in my career, especially since im not even half way there yet, but the truth of the matter is that it is.

ive been struggling for well over a year now (mostly academically) and im both succeeding in places i didnt before (alhamdulillah!) but failing in the exact same places elsewhere. guys i may have anxiety lol

self fulfilling prophecies, nocebo effect, whatever it is & regardless of what you want to call it, its rough. its hard. im tired. theres still so much left and im tired. i shouldnt be this tired. or this empty. or careless. what have i let myself become? why am i punishing myself still?

this coming month will dictate the rest of my future and ill have no one to blame but myself if i let the opportunity slip through my fingers. but if all goes well inshallah i can put this all behind me and start anew so theres that silver lining :D

i kinda lost direction of this post about half an hour ago lol. my point is im going to try harder at balancing several life aspects bc i really cant put it off any more. i need to establish balance because ive been out of the loop for too long now. *shudders in python*

anyways there are plenty of things i have to work on, both in my studies and life, so i have that going for me *party kazoo noises*

id love to grace you all with some wise words or a life lesson or something but i dont have a neat one liner to sum up anything. despite that im writing this because sometimes letting thoughts float in my head isnt enough, i need to articulate and write it out because to let them roam in the vast expanses of my mind under the pretense that i achieved something is frankly silly as it is counterproductive.

a n y w a y , to anyone and everyone reading take care of yourselves and your loved ones. i wish everyone the best in life and in their endeavours. i will probably pop back in every now and again to catch up on messages and make sure everyone is alive and nothing burned down. i will however attempt to exert self control. (key word: attempt)

aight imma head out before i get too emotional or combust with the need to say something stupid like i love you be more unserious XD

[rusticcircus]

funfact i made my twt privs banner this Exact inage becausei reread the deviousduo thing and tweaked so hard. im So Srs😭😭

I love when people put me in the banner of anything🛐

Have another devious duo thing, under read more because is kind of long.

If you are blind to that (i am fine with that)

Spoke’s voice cracked as the words tumbled out. His fists clenched tightly, his nails digging into his palms as though the pain might steady him, might stop the flood of venom he couldn’t seem to hold back. “After all, what am I if not someone who ruins everything? Who just poisons every relationship he has? Who—”

“Spoke.”

Mapicc’s voice was calm but Spoke barely registered it, his breaths quickening, his chest rising and falling in sharp, uneven bursts. “Who just can’t even realize who he is, who—”

“Spoke!” he raised his voice, leaving no room for argument.

Spoke froze mid-sentence, his mouth half-open, the weight of the other's voice sapping him back to reality. His lips trembled, and his eyes darted down, unable to meet Mapicc’s gaze. The shame was suffocating, it felt like being choked. He waited for anger, for frustration, for the inevitable confirmation that he was as toxic as he feared.

But it didn’t come. Instead, Mapicc let out a soft, exasperated sigh, and his expression softened into something almost unbearably kind. “Look,” he said, his voice lower now but no less steady, “I’d love to debunk every single thing you just said. Every word of it.”

Spoke’s head snapped up, confusion mingling with the lingering self-loathing in his eyes. “You don’t have to—”

“Oh, but I do,” Mapicc interrupted, a small, wry smile tugging at his lips. “It’s just… if I start now, I’m not sure I’ll ever finish.”

Spoke blinked, his breath catching, his mind scrambling to process what Mapicc was trying to say. “You… You don’t have to pretend,” he mumbled, his voice barely audible. “I know it’s true. I know—”

“Spoke,” Mapicc cut him off again, this time stepping forward and placing a hand on Spoke’s shoulder. The contact was grounding, real, and Spoke flinched at first before leaning into it almost instinctively. “Look, i wont pretend to know all the things you have done to be where you are now, to be so fearful to make mistakes. I know that look in your eyes, the guilt i have after years of trial and error.”

"...you see yourself in me, Mapicc?" the realization hit him.

"I don't think so, you process things... different." He paused for a moment "But just know. I don't want you to tell me you are a bad person spoke, i want you to promise me you will never change"

The silence settled between them, a promise to never stop being who he is... well, at least that's something he could pull off after being stuck In the same repetitive and destructive cycle.

Spoke reached for his friends hand.

"Only if you promise me the same."

A smirk drew in the canine's face. As he grabbed spoke wrist to pull him in a hug.

"If you think i'm letting you alone in that, you are delusional"

[nyaatorou]

signalis analysis? thematic analysis i guess. this is mainly for a friend so it’s a little more cohesive than ramblings on discord, but obviously massive spoilers under the dropdown, go play the game first!

ill put this as a disclaimer, this is not an indepth line by line break down, this is more my thoughts on the overarching themes and what i remember from just beating it last night, so if something has direct evidence against it, then oops, and im assuming if youre reading this you know roughly what im talking about too

reading other people’s analysis of the game though i think some people get too caught up in trying to figure out what’s REAL and what’s not, what’s ariane’s dream and what’s actually going on

but i think the issue with that is that it’s an exercise in futility, it’s a game about dreams about dreams, layers on layers, i don’t think there’s any true or “best” interpetation of what’s going on

the core story, the one that we the audience are let in on the most and care about, is ariane and elster’s love story (they’re all love stories tho). ariane comes from leng, living away from civilization with her mom, and is sent to school in rotsfront, there she’s bullied and seen as weird by peers and her elders she does her military service, and applies for the penrose program to leave, to get away from it all, to find something out THERE in the space, anything that’s not her current life and she gets in, and meets Elster, and is told officially not to be friends with her, to keep her distance, and she does at first, but ariane gets lonely

she and elster open up to each other, fall in love with each other, until 3000 cycles in, and they find out the truth, that they’ve failed their mission (through no fault of their own), and they will die out here

ariane will die from starvation or from radiation poisoning, or from the Promise

signalis to me is about 2 core things, about being stuck in a cycle/loop, repeating yourself over again, trying desperately to break free from and failing, and about contradictions of PARADOXES, and by their nature lead to each other!

the promise elster is asked to fulfill by ariane is never stated, but i think the literal one was to kill ariane, but i think the true promise, the unspoken one, is for them to die together.

ariane talks in a diary about how shes scared one of them will wake up one day but the other wont, the fear of one of them dying leaving the other alone

and so reality is warping, not just in sierpinski but in general, ariane and elster keep looping different lives (as we see in the tarot/planets/dream diary), but they cant break that cycle Lilith itou and alison seo of vineta, soldiers in love, left stranded by their nation, a soldier returning home alone

Isolde and erika of rostfront, the sisters (familial and sisterly love is still love!!), isolde left alone by her sister first

the grand empress of buyan, wedded one day, taking her life the next, presumably leaving their spouse alone

and ariane, born on leng!, and elster

(i mean also, Isa’s full name is literally isolde, left alone by tristan)

(also for isa and erika there’s weird stuff going on there i may come back and edit this later, but isa and erika’s journey parallels very obviously ariane and elster, isa’s appearance at the end, with the stabbed eye mirroring lilith her mom and elster after alder, but there is the parallels as well with isa’s injuries being similar to ariane, and with in german when isa sees ariane being bullied, that erika came to protect ariane not isa, and that this damaged their friendship.

but still this to me is still symbolic of elster and ariane, of isa failing to do what she needed to, which she regrets. a “fun” theory too is that in protecting ariane from the bullies is what gets erika killed, either in punishment which we know can be fatal cause Eusan Nation is fucked, or in getting sent away to reeducation in Leng which is where Isa went to look for her sister. again, parallels of how isa feels regret for not doing what she needed to, for hesitating the critical moment just like elster did.)

(and also theres heimat, the 6th life but heimat is the only one not mentioned in the dream diary, but also heimat just means home as far as i can tell in german? theres something there, of the 6th life that we dont see, that ariane doesnt dream about is of their life at “home”, at the capital of the Nation. something something heaven and hell, the promised land, a place where they may have been happy but never get to be, a place where they would be home together)

it’s all one big loop, the grand empress creatures the empire, which splinters into the empire and the nation, in their war lilith and alison meet, lilith gets used as the neural template for elster, lilith is presumably the mother of isa and erika, elster and ariane’s bioresonance leads to reality warping, leads to the grand empress, the start of it all, forever in a loop

they exist at the same time as each other, they create each other, because its all a contradiction, stuck and bound together in eternity, forever together, but always left grieving, the symbolic nature of grief feeling like a cycle, even when you think it’s over it comes back!

and it sucks and its painful, and each time you try to find a way out, to break the cycle of grief, but it feels like it never ends, it never stops

but the bittersweetness even in that, that even in grief they find each other still

they’ll always find each other, fate brings them to each other, and fate rips them away from each other

ooahHG it just. its so good.

ariane and elster are the contradiction too, of their lives that we see, ariane is the one that surives not elster, but there’s so much in that being half true

in “reality”, elster is still the one to survive not ariane, elster’s replika in a journal entry being stated to have been recovered and used as the neural template for future elsters, so even in death, she remains the one to survive

but in the dream, ariane is left alive while elster fails to fulfill her promise, she fails to kill ariane, and in a greater sense she fails to uphold the cycle! she died first, and so the cycles must continue, she has to kill ariane so she can die too

its all contradictions! they want to be together, even in death, but the promise is for one to kill the other, one survives the other, and the other survives them, both are true at the same time

ariane in her sleep, the red eye, the entity, the song, Nowhere underneath the surface of leng, some cosmic entity without form (more contradictions), deep in the earth, has a bioresonance with ariane, connecting with her in sleep in her eternal dreams

side note i love the imagery behind the Song cosmic entity, the idea of the a being that exists without form (cough cough disco elysium). as a kid the idea of tartarus, of gaia, nyx, and ouranus in greek myth being what they are was so sick. theses things that gave birth to the titans, these things that aren’t entities so much as they are just things. the earth, the night, the sky, and the void

and here the threat isn’t some big oogly woogly monster, it’s the song the bioresonant people hear and are in tune with!

the cosmic horror isnt some big scary monster, it’s just a SONG

it’s their song, it’s the song they dance to, it’s all the songs they dance to, it’s the symbol of their love, the signal of their love and their grief, it’s the broadcasted message, it’s why the signal that plays to them was the signal of the end, the alert message that came at 3000 cycles, resonating through time and space, their love and pain and grief for each other being so strong it bends reality, their love and their grief being what infects sierprinski, and now finally in the lily/artifact ending its what “breaks” the cycle

taken from mint, their love is the cosmic horror! their love is what strong enough it distorts their world around them!!!

and the mining facility digs too deep, connecting the waking world with the dreaming world, and falke enters the dreams, and comes out half falke half elster and to me half ariane, falke coming back changed

falke coming back as part of elster, and in her grief, elster’s grief, she sleeps too, changed and driven mad by it all, and in coming back she brings a part of elster back with her,

and in the end you have to fight her. you have to kill her to reclaim yourself. elster has to kill her, kill a part of herself to become whole again, to remember her promise, to remember what happened.

someone i know had a good ass line about it too “We Are All Falke, Driven To Madness By The Purity Of Their Love“

also? falke sleeps like ariane, during the plot of the game, but to me falke is doing what elster can’t. elster can’t sleep, can’t “die” like ariane can, and in sleep becomes one as well with ariane

which may be what’s making the corruption spread, her bioresonnance in her dreams spreading ariane’s nightmare of the red flesh, of the cancer from the radiation poisoning, as it only gets worse with each cycle that elster makes and tries, their pain spreading on and on

in some cycles she fails (leave ending), entirely to even enter, knowing what and who is inside, unwilling to confront it

in some cycles she makes it in (memory ending), but fails to uphold the promise, dying at ariane’s side, leaving ariane to survive, the dream continues, the cycle must continue

and even when she does fulfill the promise (promise ending), it doesnt break the cycle, she kills ariane but even if she dies too soon after, she dies alone, not together. death isnt anything more than eternal slumber. the dream continues.

then theres the lily ending, there’s some great analysis of the king in yellow by Chambers and the story of the Mask which features the white lily, but to paraphrase, the white lily is a symbol of rebirth, both biblically and in the story, in which the white lily and Genivieve are turned to marble (look to alison’s hair turning white like ariane’s??), but at the end of the story turn back to their original forms, but the eldritch horror aspect (i think hastur in the books?) hastur was what may have given the characters the solution, so the lily and genivieve can be interpeted to have returned as changed now, the same but different

but in the secret ending we offer up the lily on the Artifact, the thing that was found deep within leng, the 6 pillars of the 6 planets around a slab. 6 elsters, 6 lives of herself offered up to the artifact, the glowing fractal that’s on the slab

and just, the eye watching them as they dance in the penrose ship, but now the dilapidated version of their ship? ariane’s red eye in some shots in the endings, of ariane maybe ascension? there’s the lines in german before the offering, after picking up the white lily from the safe “and in those days people will seek death and not find it“, with red on black, and then

after the offering, “The mystery of this god is finished, as she announced it to her servants the prophets.“ with reversed colors

they suffered and sought out death and couldnt find it, always looping, always starting another cycle, and then as the offering is given, the mystery of this god is finished, judgment is here from god, this god, this song. the song is over. we see them dance again as the music fades in then it all fades to black. the cycle breaks not with the promise being fulfilled or broken, but with their death together, together in love, dancing together into the end.

and from it all, and this is me reaching for even a bittersweet ending, to me it’s the contradiction finally closing. they were stuck in a loop because they couldnt bear what should have been the end of the true loop. did they deserve to die? god no but it was their end right? they were meant to die in space, or crash landed on a planet, but they resisted.

they find out their fate cycle 3000, but ariane’s notes start with cycle 5xxx. 2000 more cycles, they fought to be with each other, to survive, every extra day together, every time they both woke up

and even after elster passed, even after ariane presumably passed, in her dream and nightmare they kept fighting. kept warping reality, kept trying again and again to find each other

i dont think the happy ending is in ascending to divinity, in perptuality, but i think its in this being their end, and finally for them their true promise, in being together, their happy ending.

in passing together, not alone. as it fades to black they’re in each others arms

and just because it’s their end doesnt mean its the end right? the entire game has been about about the cycles of fate, of life and death. its about a dream with a dream. a loop with a loop.

their loop’s ended but their loops goes on, a story about contradictions.

theyll find each other again, fall in love again, and be happy again. in another life theyll explore the world, see the ocean that elster reminds ariane of.

[volvolts]

sorry it took me a while to read the fae story, zenless zone zero has been grippin me by the neck but dang, love kynseed, such a good game and i find it very touching the love you pour into this story, id like to know more (and jonah's sister intrigues me tbh)

no worries at all on the replying! i'm also sorry about the super long wait for this answer too lol (i had a lot of stuff happening for me this past week, nothing bad tho so no worries)

kynseed really had me in the throat with the idea of estranged siblings and the prologue was so good with setting that up! I loved when you meet your sibling again after the time skip and i was honestly super upset when they told me they wanted to be alone (i also named them after my own sibling so that adds more too lol)

i also really liked that when you reach rep 3 your sibling is back but in my game, they just suddenly come back and is super happy seeing me again and not addressing how they left me (also is there supposed to be a letter they send you before you meet again?? i swore i saw a screenshot of a letter someone sends to you in the game but i never came across it myself). but also the lack of apology left me thinking of the idea of you letting it go because you dont want to lost them again and the resentment that could build from that

i tried to transfer the idea of that into my story via jonah's sister (which imma put under a read more for this part as we are now proceeding past kynseed)

jonah's younger twin sister shay is similar to the idea of what i thought about the kynseed sibling being, a sibling seemingly abandoned by their twin whom they never forgave. shay is also a sentinel (refresh: sentinels are fae blessed children who travel and bridge the world of fae and humans) but she doesn't want to be. she didnt ask for this life and wishes that she was normal. one day she's going to outlive those she loves and latched on to jonah, the only person in her childhood who she wont outlive. however jonah wants to be a sentinel and, when forced to make the choice between following her or his own path, he chose his own

shay has never forgiven him for it and cut him out of her life. both siblings are miserable but also refuse to be the first to apologize. jonah because he has always chosen her over his own wants and has turned resentful that the one time he chooses to be selfish, she cuts him off. shay because she's stubborn and was incredibly hurt that he wants to do the role that has estranged them from most of humanity.

shay isnt really a great person, having spent decades letting her resentment fester and she's really callous with people but shes a lot kinder to animals and if she truly pities you. she's also the kind of person who lashes out at others when shes upset. shay does still care about jonah, no matter what she says, but for now, she won't apologize and will only forgive jonah if he apologizes first and renounces his role as a sentinel

i have a lot of fun trying to figure things out with jonah and shay, the doomed siblings duo. they both love each other but are too stubborn to be the first to cross the gap and neither want to compromise. theyre in a frustrating situation and im most particularly enjoying tyring to find things for shay to do (i wish i can draw faster and actually visualize properly haha...) but that's all! thanks for reading