#dont get passive aggressive about a small issue

[nosonna]

Honestly I fuckin hate helping other offices with their scheduling. I hate it even more when I am just doing what I'm told to do and the doctor gets fucking passive aggressive about someone I scheduled. "That doesn't answer my question as to why it was double booked." Bitch idfk. I've been at this office for 3 fuckin days and I have no clue what your schedule preferences are. I did what the practice manager told me to do. If that ain't a good enough answer I don't know what to tell you. I've already said I would fix it if that wasn't supposed to do that. So suck a bag of dicks lady.

[yesimwriting]

Hi! Can I have billy and stu (separate) with a gn!s/o that cries for 10-30 mins whenever they dont get something right?

A/n why is this lowkey so me

update: after the way i reacted to losing three points on an assignment today,, yeah, this is me 

also made some serious progress in part 8 of final girl!! might have to split my original idea for that chapter into chapter 8 and 9 bc i want to have something out for you guys 😭 fell a little behind with school starting and some personal stuff

----

Billy Loomis with a gn!s/o that cries whenever they don't get something right:

hm, i go a little back and forth on this bc when dealing with dating killers that have at most a limited amount of empathy capability, emotional, feely stuff is back and forth

But I feel like that's accurate, like one day, you could burst into tears and Billy would be 10/10 attentive physically because he doesn't have the right vocabulary,, and then the next he'd just sort of freeze up or get manipulative

Let's get into the good days though

If Billy knows something's going on that could lead to you crying, he'd take a preventative approach on a good day

Softly rubbing your back while you do whatever the thing that could make you cry is

Won't make you talk about the root of the problem, but will listen more than he lets on if you do want to

If you want to be distracted, he'll think of something else for the two of you to do together

In that vain, if you needed a minute, you'd get as far as the bathroom.

He doesn't like leaving you alone when he knows you're emotional, a part of it goes back to his abandonment issues with his mom.

He may not know a lot about feelings and isn't above the occasional manipulative ploy,, but he knows he doesn't ever want you to feel like that

A small part of him worries that if he does leave you like that you might either resent him or somehow start associating bad feelings with him and try to leave him

He also doesn't like feeling shut out, and likes feelings trusted

Speaking of feeling trusted, that feeling of vulnerability makes it easier for him to be understanding

Even when he doesn't get it or feels like something's dumb, he knows not to say that because he doesn't want you shutting him out

The fact that you're willing to cry in front of him kind of makes the medicine go down easy

Depending on what it is, might even encourage you to try again Now, onto the not so great days

It's rare that Billy's cruel (out loud, bc his lack of empathy thoughts aren't always the nicest) about you getting emotional, bc he doesn't want to feel like you're going to leave

But there are a few exceptions, the main one being if it involves something/someone that makes him feel jealous/territorial

Like if you're crying over a project that you're working on with some guy, his reaction to that will vary in levels of passive aggression

Or if you're crying because of some fight with friends he feels like you spend too much time with, he'll be even more aggressive/manipulative about it

"Only want me when your new friends are making you cry, huh?" type of thing

Will for sure use these moments to encourage a state of co-dependency, like reminding you how much you need him bc of who or what made you cry

Stu Macher with a gn!s/o that cries whenever they don't get something right:

Okay, so similar levels of versatility to Billy, just bc i see them both having trouble understanding emotions, and having even more trouble caring about other people’s feelings

Just bc you’re the exception to Stu not ever really taking into consideration other people’s feelings doesn’t mean he knows how to help

So his first instinct on days where he’s a little more patient/understanding is to try to change the subject

Sometimes it feels like he’s trying to redirect you like you’re a toddler with too much energy 😭

Like if you’re tearing up or crying over let’s say not understanding homework or getting a bad grade, Stu suddenly remembers this movie he’s been dying for you to see or randomly has a need to go out for ice cream or do anything that could make you stop thinking about something 

It’s normally nice, even when it doesn’t feel super helpful to you, because you know it’s his way of showing that he cares

He’ll also probably make fun of whatever/whoever is at the heart of the issue

The jokes have a range depending on how upset you are, if you’re feeling better he’ll probably be a little ruder/more open about his dislike

If you’re super upset, he’ll make fun of it in a more lighthearted way,, will probably also make the insulting parts of the joke more ridiculous so that you laugh

Definitely goes out of his way to try to make you laugh on his more understanding days

He’s also super touchy, will hold onto you in one way or another, usually won’t let go until way after you’ve calmed down

He says it’s just to be sure,, but you have a feeling he has some personal motivations

Now, on his less understanding days, Stu’s first instinct is to manipulate 

He sees how emotional you are as an opportunity to push you towards co-dependency,, so he’ll go out of his way to baby you

It’s generally nice,, he’s super attentive, but if you try to do anything for yourself while upset, he’ll be bothered

There is some intended manipulation there, but it’s also because he doesn’t know how to talk about his feelings, at least not without layers of innuendos and sarcastic quips to hide the actual feely stuff 

So all he has to show you that he does care, that you do matter even though he might not get why you’re upset, is his actions 

It’s a mix of what he’s picked up from media and the softer things he never had anyone do for him when he was a child 

So it does feel a little patronizing when he goes too far with it, especially because it’s rooted in things no one’s done for him so it’s not like he has a lot of experience/examples on how to do it “correctly”

It’d be a lot sweeter if you knew why he gets like that, but besides a few implied comments, I can’t see him directly admitting this 

Honestly, not always a “bad” thing,, it just has the ability to get a little volatile depending on how you’re feeling and how moody Stu is that day 

Also definitely tries to throw money at the problem, will offer to take you shopping as “his treat” while you’re emotional/crying bc that’s the only supportive model he’s seen 

[chuuyascumsock]

MY DARLING POOKIE !!!

I'm so sorry for the late reply T-T. life is being a bitch :/

but OMG IM SO FLATTERED THAT YOU FEEL HAPPY WHEN MY USER COMES UP? Literally all i want is my mooties to know i love them so much???? 💐❤️

ily guys MWAH!!!!!!

but, anygays,

How are you snookums?

and i agree, WHO EATS PIZZA AT 8AM????? WHAT?? I thought pizza was like a lunch/dinner kinda thing... but i cant talk cause i dont rlly eat pizza that much-

ALSO THE DRAWINGS WERE SO CUTE??? i feel bad now cause i have no clue what eddsworld is but now i really really have to know or ill lose my mind!!!

and, side ramble, im going on some camping thing this weekend, BUT THE THING IS. I dont want to go. but i dont have a choice??? like ive never rlly been camping before and i feel kinda awkward around the ppl its with?? idk

so hopefully i definitely become one with the wild 😋

How are you? how's life been?

HEYYYY POOOKIEEEE ❤️

Glad to hear from you again, thought I lost you and was mourning like a widow 🙏😔

I’m good, I dyed my hair once more (just added pink onto the fading blue so now the tips are purple <3).

We don’t open at 8AM (we open at 10:30, which there were customers who came in as soon as we opened) but I was in the back for two and a half hours prepping the dishes (spreading dough on pans and etc. which I could be spreading your dough, if you catch my drift 😏).

It’s okay that you don’t know what Eddsworld is lol, it was popular back in like late 2000s, early 2010. There was an animator named Edd who made wacky little animations of him and his friends going on made up adventures, but he sadly passed away from cancer in 2012. One of his friends is continuing his legacy and they still create animations in honor of him which I think is super sweet :] (honestly Edd was a main inspiration for me to get into drawing self-art and such). But yeah 🫶

I love camping, wish I could go with you, we could be filming the best analog horror tapes known to man (where my horror analog girlies at). I hope you make the most of it though and have fun. Tell me how it goes <3

I’m going to see a movie today (the new Quiet Place movie) and then I’m going to eat dinner with some friends at ihop 😌 I’m just hoping nothing goes wrong because Libby and I have been having some small issues with Teagan lately (he normally is a super great friend and I’ve rarely had any issues with him since I’ve known him since middle school), but he’s been acting off and I just want us to go back to normal when he wasn’t passive aggressive about things that shouldn’t matter (like boys). I’ll never let a man come between my friends and I, but I will if they’re being mean to Libby (hi snookums Ik u see this 😚).

But YES GO BE ONE WITH THE WILD, say hello to the bears for me 🫶🫶

[gordon-freeman-phd]

Ask game for someone’s OC(s) ~ For Richard Does your OC have any phobias? What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

yayayay richieee timeeeee

Does your OC have any phobias?: oh boy what isnt this guy irrationally afraid of, dude is a walking anxiety ball, but the main phobia would be agoraphobia, intense fear of places or situation that can cause panic, helplessness, or embaressment, which for him is very real becuz he feels that pretty much anywhere that isnt in teh safety of him room, even if hes managing it fairly well, hes still a very high strung guy and anything can ruin his day

What do they love to do? What do they hate to do? richie loves to build models of pretty much anything he can get his hands on, vehicles, people, toys, whatever there is out there, he likes working on the small scale since it requires his utmost concentration and helps keep his mind from catastrophizing about other things. he hates however, going to the doctor, they dont treat him well and are passive aggressive about his weight and ignore his issues almost as a rule, he also frankly should be going to a shrink but he doesnt want to look like any less of a man than eh already does, and also he thinks that they wouldnt take him anymore seriously than regular physicians do

[kasaneteto]

anyone else remember the badgers yt video

sorry this isnt about that i just didnt know what to type above the cut im venting about my job again 👎

i really love working where i do but i think the unprofessionalism of it all has caught up with me. im realizing in retrospect that many small comments made by my boss were in her mind her “talking to me” about my cleaning not being up to standard but like. im sorry but making a comment like “i left a pile of crumbs under one of the tables to see if you would sweep it up” is not properly communicating an issue to me. like that reads as a joke. how am I supposed to take that as an actual criticism when its so passive aggressive like im obvs gonna assume thats anjoke when youre my BOSS?? especially when you know im autistic like you cant just imply something and expect me to get it. shes ACTUALLY talked to me about cleaning better once and that was like 2 weeks ago. and now this. so youve had more problems than just my cleaning and never communicated it to me and now im being punished for a problem that was literally just brought to my attention. i wish this didnt happen literally right before my three days off because now ive been brooding over it and the idea of going into work tomorrow has me chewing my foot off with anxiety. like if i talk to her about this and she shows no compassion or empathy from my perspective on this then im going to have to look for a second job. and i dont want to fucking do that because this is a really sweet deal ive got going on here. however……there is a queer coffee shop that is way closer to me and it would be so nice to not be misgendered by everyone i work with, to not have to serve primarily old conservative white men, to not have to put up with the insane lady next door or the insane entitled regular……it would be nice. but we’ll see how it goes.

[rinzis]

what your favourite genshin impact character says about you: no holding back edition

i’m finally allowed to post again!!! great joy

aether/lumine: you’re basic as hell sorry . also stop fighting over who the better twin is they’re literally the same person but different genders. you’re pretty fun to be around ig but i feel like you eat food off the floor. 5 second rule not 5 hour rule ok

amber: ok i’ve actually met a bunch of people whose fav is amber and you guys are actually really sweet but pls learn when to stfu you’re so loud . also you guys go feral whenever someone (everyone else in the fandom) says amber sucks like chill bae

kaeya: jesus fucking christ your horny is off the scale. every kaeya stan i’ve ever met cant keep it in their pants. and we know the only reason you like him is bc of his giga bouncer supreme ultra man rack 3000. stop saying you want him to smother you with his tits. get some help.

lisa: YOU GUYS ARE COOL AS HELL!!!!!! as someone who relates to lisa you’re very cool. most chill people to be around and you’re definitely super smart. not lazy but just reserved. 11/10. oh btw do you use her for climbing?

diluc: do you have daddy issues? you guys definitely have a thing for the tsundere archetype and you probably like zhongli too. just admit you want diluc to do the kabedon thing on you and move on. we know what you’re like. also how does it feel being so short? i swear every diluc stan is small as hell

jean: YOU GUYS are so sweet pls whenever i play co op with a jean main it’s just like wow you’re so strong and nice and thanks for healing my entire team wow........ however although you’re so responsible you probably enjoy cancelling people on twitter for fun . sorry

venti: VENTI STANS. I LOVE YOU. is it partially because i myself am a huge venti stan? yeah no. you probably missed out on his first banner and are saving for his rerun..... same......... anyways you guys give off the best vibes n it’s always so fun to be with you. i love you all

razor: i have one question for you guys . did you either like warrior cats or were you a wolf kid?

albedo: you guys are so smart wtf !!!!!!!!! you’re so rational in co op mode too and if you have albedo you probably use him as a sub dps for your teammates bc you’re so good at reading situations........ then again you also have some weird shit going on like cmon it’s milk after cereal you psychopaths

sucrose: you either kin sucrose or are creepy sorry . ok but she’s so underrated like her passive 3........ WOAH.............. you definitely use her in spiral abyss,,, also are you a burnout successful kid who used to kiss teachers’ asses and middle school was a breeze before getting to college/university and realising that professors don’t give a shit anymore? wow who would have guessed

diona: wannabe catgirls assemble! please move on from your warrior cats phase you’re almost as bad as the razor stans but you’re adorable too. you probably want qiqi or klee but don’t have them so you’re settling for diona

barbara: thanks for healing my team in co op barbara stans !!!! you guys are genuinely so nice omg thank you for being so reliable all the time,,, do you highlight your notes so it’s more art than notes? yeah that’s what i thought

mona: ok if no one else is gonna say it i will,,, no one understands shit about your astrology thing going on. i’m a caprisun? great

bennett: YOURE ALL ADORABLE. thanks for helping us out in co op!!!! you definitely advocate for bennett rights and yes pls do,,,, we all love benny deep down!!!! you either don’t have him or have him at like C218372

fischl: jojo stans

just kidding but you all probably act like fischl irl. also did you have an emo phase

klee: ok if your favourite is klee you definitely don’t have her . waiting patiently for klee’s rerun!!!! shes just so adorable and so are you guys,,,,, so fun to be around !!!!! you probably have diluc and hate him

noelle: you guys....... the rarest of the rare. you love trying to convince people that she’s a great healer dps n everything else...... no bae you probably use her because you like geo and claymores like hmm yes i will now hit things hard with my big sword and rock power

ok onto liyue now sweats nervously

childe: you guys are ALL simps. ALL OF YOU. go n touch some grass bro!!!!! you either think he’s super sexy or you bully him and make the ed sheeran jokes (not funny) . you follow griffin burns on tiktok too dont you

zhongli: you either love him for his gentle demeanour or you want him for his fat giga dumptruck 3000. make up your minds!!!!! you guys are so clueless in co op mode but you’re hilarious. you probably have his energy recharge at like 200% so you can use his ult and hear I WILL HAVE ORDER every 4 seconds

xiao: STOP GROWLING AT PEOPLE. every xiao main is so aggressive not joking . yeah the only reason you saved for him is because you want to stare at him all day n listen to him growling . you guys genuinely scare me . no he would not hold ur hand and do cute things with you,,,,,, if given half the chance he’d probably decapitate you

ningguang: alright jeff bezos, hand over the cash. yeah so you’re either rolling in it or want to be her sugar baby. but you guys have such an intimidating aura like playing with ning mains is just .... you always build her so well she’s an absolute tank!!!!!! thanks for scaring the shit out of me but also protecting me

beidou: YOU GUYS. you’re fun to be around but i also feel like you could probably destroy me in 3 seconds flat !!!!!!!! do you hate diluc too? i love playing with you guys because all i hear is TO ASHES every 2 seconds and she’s just cool as hell so yeah i really like beidou stans. i feel like you all have her so congrats

qiqi: you’re so cute,,,,, best healer !!!! you probably love playing qiqi because her skills look so cool and you prefer playing heal/support,, if you don’t have her you just love her bc she’s so tiny . spoiler alert but do you have a thing against xiao for killing her lol

xiangling: you’re so chaotic help,, you definitely pair her with xinyan too because you give off the most uncontrollable vibes,,,,,,, did you level her to use her in the spiral abyss or do you just think polearms are neat and don’t have xiao or zhongli

xinyan: please reread xiangling paragraph but replace polearm with claymore . you like either bring me the horizon or bubblegum pop there’s no in between

chongyun: you’re all the nicest people ever and you’re so chill . you love chongyun with your whole hearts and i adore you !!!!!! the animation of him eating the popsicle melts your hearts (no pun intended) and you just think he’s really cool :( ily all

xingqiu: chongyun vibes but make it kinda unnerved . burnout successful kids 2.0 ,,,,, are you clever too? you also love xingqiu and believe he’s worthy of being a 5 star with his heal and damage reduce !!!!! he’s so helpful wtf and so are you . please stop going on about his legs though it’s highkey weird asf

keqing: COOL PERSON SYNDROME! i main this gal so i love you all . do you get as mad as i do when people say she doesn’t deserve to be a 5 star? yeah . are you a procrastinator and try and take lessons from keqing but are just so lazy? do you use her teleport because you can’t be bothered to climb mountains? yeah that’s what i thought

ganyu: you’re all the nicest people alive and i adore you all . thanks for being so kind in co op mode . every ganyu main i’ve met is so sweet and you’re all so powerful too woah....... you hate the cocogoat jokes too >:( pls mihoyo give her more attention !!!!!

scaramouche: you have rights guys we know you exist. also we know you want him to be playable. we know that you think his hat is neat. we know you love this shawty but please be quiet.

signora: wait you guys exist

hu tao: you prank people for fun like pls stop im so on edge when youre around . plus i feel you laugh at videos of babies falling over n shit,,,,,,, you cant wait for her banner but also please shut the fuck up

dainsleif: please leave me the fuck alone we did 1 (one) quest with him and you’re all obsessed with him . ok second hand dmitri from fire emblem you want a medal for being a fucking simp?

[passmethemolly]

dteam + friends as old navy employees

 Bad is the manager. a very tired one, but he keeps everyone in check

bad: guys please make sure we’re asking for cards today- we’re behind and-

dream: its georges fault

george: it’s not! i ask and everyone says no-

dream: thats because you aren’t asking them right 

george: how the hell do you ask for a credit card right???

bad is long gone by that point. he’s quietly sitting in the office watching george and dream bicker

he has a photo of his dog on his desk and will smuggle her into the workplace sometimes 

will deal with the difficult customers but will feel bad for being mean even though its his job

sapnap is on the floor bc he can perfect fold things

hates every second of it and always hides in the fitting room or goes up to cash wrap to bother george

purposefully messes up piles of clothes so dream has to refold it

scares tommy whenever he hides in said fitting room

overall, super chill and will go where ever he needs to but folds like a sloth

once caught someone stealing but he didn’t say anything

george is always up at the registers and he absolutely hates it

he will never ever ask people to open up a credit card unless bad is there or unless dream gets put up there with him and they compete against each other

as soon as a customer has an issue with something, george calls bad up to the register to deal with it and he walks away

george will ignore customers and let wilbur take them instead

he steals the candy all the time

dream is tossed around all over the place

doesnt do anything, yet still manages to meet his credit card goal which annoys the fuck out of george and sapnap

he hits george with hangers 

george will always hit him back

the kids are fighting again ft. hangers 

he attracts the weird customers which makes for good stories

he once fell off a ladder and george saw that and he will never let dream live that down

a BOPIS beast- not a single order goes unnoticed by him

sapnap likes to fold the kids clothes since theyre easy and bad never checks kids

dream is a huge wingman to sapnap through the walkies 

dream: sapnap, tell that girl that the boyfriend jeans are 100% off at your place.

sapnap: dude i have a girlfriend 

dream: okay, say it for me then

sapnap: dream im not saying that-

george: will you please shut up i can’t hear anything but you two idiots

alternatively- also the biggest instigator

dream: george, i dare you to not talk to the next customer

george: what? no, i have to it’s literally my job to talk to them-

dream: do it, trust me

george: im not gonna ignore them as i check them out

dream: if you dont, im telling bad that you dont ask to open credit cards and you didn’t count the money from last night and youve been stealing the kitkats

long story short, they got a complaint and george was tasked with cleaning the bathrooms that night as punishment

tommy is in fitting room and he loves it 

he was put there since he was “too aggressive” to be on sales floor

but hes the only person at the store that can open more credit cards than dream due to his aggression 

he gets to go on his phone and drink coke whenever

once locked sapnap in the fitting room for three hours 

whenever he has to return the ‘go back’ clothes, he sprints through the store. he literally runs the clothes. 

once fought a customer that told him he was wrong about a price. 

tommy: HOW IS IT WRONG I SCANNED IT WITH THE FUCKING IPOD AND IT CAME UP THAT PRICE HOW IS IT WRONG

tubbo is holding him back while bad is apologizing to the customer and offering them 70% their entire purchase

wilbur is on register with george and they gossip about the customers 

wilbur is the best dressed there 

everyone swoons for him, which racks up sales since everyone wants to be checked out by the cute cashier

him and george are lowkey the power duo on register 

he cares very much about sizing and taking proper care of the clothes

he drives tommy and tubbo to work

dream and george go get lunch together on their break

dream will occasionally bring george mcdonalds if he feels like it

george, in return, won’t do anything special <3

jk- george just helps dream fold the floor after closing instead of hiding behind the cash wrap counter

george will always bring dream a starbucks cookie on fridays

one time, bad wouldn’t let george wear one of his supreme shirts and he had to wear dreams hoodie to cover it up

techno is a ghost at this old navy. hes never scheduled to work but when he comes it- everything is perfectly folded and they have a spike in customer satisfaction- but people rarely see him do these things

small rivalry between dream and techno obviously 

they will always make a competition out of everything

always a closing time employee- he never opens the store. 

dream is obsessed with how he perfect folds and will stalk him around the store when he does work

techno just wants to work tbh  

tubbo is in fitting room with tommy 

hes more…passive… with the customers 

will always wish everyone a nice day even if they leave the room a mess

will take the time to clean each room while tommy sprints in and out with his arms full of clothes

does whatever tommy wants to do

except when it comes down to who is cleaning the bathrooms at closing time- then its a battle

(just rock paper scissors) 

tubbo and dream sometimes trade places, but tubbo always goes back to the fitting room since he has no idea how the sales floor works 

dream ROCKS old navy clothes 

he abuses the fuck out of his employee discount 

sometimes he’ll get george to give him a bigger discount 

george always wears stuff with brands even though its against dress code (he will not give up his hypebeast shirts) 

bad will let it slide most of the time but not all the time yk?

sapnap shoves his phone into clothes and plays games 

on the quiet days- everyone is on sales floor except tommy. tommy is forbidden from being on sales floor.  

tommy watches from afar as his friends slap each other with hangers and talk shit about the public

his time will come. he will get out of the fitting room

at closing time, dream and george hide in a blind spot and talk for the rest of their shift

sapnap: can you guys please stop flirting and go fold in mens? bad says if we fold everything we can leave early-

dream throws a bundle of socks at sapnap 

george wants to be on sales floor so bad, he complains about register everyday

dream wants to be on register since sales floor is boring to him

bad wont let them switch 

tommy, tubbo, and wilbur always start fights with george, dream, and sapnap

a ‘war’ broke out one night when they were closing

bad made them stay an extra two hours to refold the entire store since they trashed it

george once parkoured over a jean table

sapnap is always friendly to the customers and will ask them how theyre doing as soon as he sees them

scares the shit out the customers at the same time. he’s a ninja

tommy got out of the fitting room once and hid in a rack of dresses so bad couldn’t find him

bad just wants people to open up credit cards

sapnap would bring his girlfriend in a lot and now bad is considering hiring her since shes here so often

on their breaks, they will all sit in a circle and watch the cameras and make fun of people

they have a groupchat called “the navy soilders” and they literally just send the same video of dream falling off the ladder that george pulled from the cameras

[the-sanders-sides]

(wtit spoiler warning)

unpopular opinion, but im not really a big fan of the idea of the orange side being wrath or anger. while similar to inside out, the sides arent really emotions; rather, they are your different conflicting thought processes when you work through a problem. you have the side of you that is logical and knows the facts and tries to use reason to solve things, the side of you that focuses on your morals and tries to use steadfast loyalty to your values to solve problems. there is the side that is anxious and tries to use to make use of fear to protect u and solve the problem.

there are the sides of you that are creative that think of fantastical solutions to your problems, whether good or bad, that try to take you to your dreams and desires. with roman, this is with disney-esque tales and hopes that keep thomas going and having a reason to things. with Remus, I think it may be using the intrusive thoughts to get Thomas to slow down when thomas is overwhelmed and wants to rest, which makes sense bc, at least with me, ik when I have an uptick of intrusive thoughts, it usually means i need to rest and relax so I'll be less overwhelmed and take care of myself.

and there is the side that is deceitful and cunning and mean and self-centered as a means towards approaching your problems with your self-preservation as the primary thing to uphold. unlike morals which may tell you to share what you have, this deceitful side of you acts selfishlessly to make sure that you are put first, no matter the cost. which is why I think any anger or wrath would come from Janus. anger as an emotion is often an expression of self-preservation. you feel anger when you know you've been hurt and you lash out in anger to protect yourself. janus has lashed out a fair amount for the small amount of episodes he's been in.

by now, it's also fairly agreed upon that Janus and patton are opposites/counters as well as roman and remus. with both pairings, it's seen that you need a healthy balance between those two sides, those two lines of thought, to not completely fall apart.

i am a firm believer that anxiety is the counter or parallel or opposite of logic. your logical thought processes get so messed up when you're anxious and scared, and logical thinking is often used as a tool to combat anxiety. this was explored between Virgil and Logan very early in the series. virgils anxiety causes cognitive distortions that weaken logans logical processes in being listened to. logans logical thoughts are able to tame Virgil's anxiety when it's too strong. i think Logan and Virgil balance each other out. those are the two who make a healthy balance together which has been discusses, albeit briefly, early on (remember the Yerkes Dodson curve?).

this is why I think that whatever the orange side, the seventh side, is, it won't be a counter to anyone in specific, and it won't be wrath/anger. right now, orange is showing up when Logan is weakened in someway. when janus kidnaps him in svs redux, orange only shows up after that. when Remus messes with Logan in today's wtit and logan is frustrated and out of it, only then did orange come through. we don't know if orange can control other sides as well, but if it's like janus at all, where janus tries to remove logan and his rationality from the problem solving, there's a reason it would focus on messing with logic & rationality to achieve it's goal of however it helps thomas.

because remember, all the sides do what they think is best for thomas. the sides are the manifestations of his different thought processes driven by different outlooks that all have an end goal of trying to solve thomas's problem in that way. but in the end, it is always up to thomas to choose which thought pattern he'll listen to. thomas chooses what he will do based on the persuasiveness of his different thought processes.

(for example, c!thomas comes across a wallet on the sidewalk. morally, he thinks the wallet should be turned in to the local authorities at all costs no matter what. his self preservation instincts tell him to take the cash and leave the wallet behind since the detour would waste his time. his anxiety tells him to leave it alone so he wont get framed for stealing. good creativity/roman would make him imagine a grand heroic prize for tracking down the owner of the wallet and personally delivering it, and bad creativity/remus might make c!thomas imagine finding and killing the wallets owner so he can take all the money. logical thought would say for c!thomas to return the wallet to local authorities if he has the time to do so, and if not, to leave it be. these are all just the different thoughts running through c!thomas's head which can then be personified as sides, and whichever action he does is attributed to the side who had the most persuasive line of thought, but none of these lines of thought are trying to hurt thomas, it's all different ways of protecting/helping him.)

so whatever orange is, needs logic and rationality to be a bit disrupted before being able to be persuasive enough to be listened to. this doesnt really seem like anger/wrath to me. someone can be rational and angry (ie. planning a revenge later rather than hurting someone now, passive aggression, etc.) which all feels more like Janus things to me, and I think you actually need to be rational to use your anger effectively. going ham on someone without thought will not have the same effect as thinking about the best places to hit without them getting you back. anger and logic don't need to keep each other in check like deceit and morality or logic and anxiety; rather, they need to work together. i dont think logan would be opposed to a side that represented anger at all. and orange would not destabilize logan so much if it were anger.

plus, Virgil is the only side that really represents an emotion. but I think people generally always have a sense of anxiety and fear in their problem solving, but anger/wrath isn't always there. for a quick issue like a lost wallet, i can see how these other sides of thought processes can exist, but i dont know what anger would tell Thomas to do there since anger is just an emotion.

so the question is, what is a thought pattern that exists when solving problems that tries to protect/help you, while also needing to push away or overpower your sense of logic & rationality to be persuasive enough to be listened to? I don't have the answer to this but I'd love to hear what other people think about this! especially if u see flaws in my reasoning of why orange isn't anger, I'd love to know!

[sweettodo]

i got a request hshd,

hc for Levi , Erwin , and Mike (for the mike stans cause ik there might be some,,, a lot on here😭) hc for the crush (or s/o) being hit on by some random ass person (like—flirting—idk djfjfjwq)

MIKEEE I FORGOT ABT HIM LMAOOO

cannons below !!

levi :

- walking back from the stables, he sees you. sees you scrunched up and against the wall of an ally.

- he sees you cornered there, clearly uncomfortable by the man inches away from you, nervously laughing and looking anywhere but his eyes.

- you internally prayed levi would both intervene, yet spare the man of a harsh punishment.

- he already knows you have a boyfriend, so why does he think he can corner you and try to get you interested in him? is he asking to be killed?

- levi strolls towards the dilemma, until he reaches the two of you. your eyes bulging out of your sockets.

- he steps back, smiling, “c’mon, i’m just playin’ around, right?”

- you shake your head, knowing levi would now take control of the issue. “she looks like she wants to run away from you, not play around, are you blind?”

- levi’s intense state was enough to make the mans knees weak in fear, and your boyfriend was boiling with anger.

- “she could’ve said stop! i wouldve! i swear!”

- the man takes it as a chance to run. run away as fast as he can. your hands instantly wrap around his wrist, removing his hand from the blade handle.

- “it’s okay, it’s fine levi.” you soothe, trying to prevent further issues. you had a bad feeling about this, it was not over for the man who made you uncomfortable.

- ‘who the fuck does this animal think he is?’ levi was seeing red. seeing nothing but a blaze of fury as hes watching the man run away in fear.

- “you, stay here, i’ll be back.” he didn’t care what you had to say, he needed to show everyone you were not one to flirt with. he didn’t even want a man smiling at you, ‘what the fuck is so funny?’

- you didn’t know what to say, stumbling over your words, he doesn’t even turn his head, “dont- levi don’t kill him!”

erwin :

- he remains calm, more put-together than levi.

- sees a man trying to make an advance towards you in the hallway outside his office, “the balls on this guy, huh”

- you see him, he’s tense, watching down the hallway with a small stomp in his step.

- erwin is less confrontational, so all he does is grab your hand and pull you away, walking away with you.

- he holds your hand, not even batting an eye at the pig who was trying to talk to you.

- but there’s more.

- erwin is more passive aggressive, so he’s gonna ruin the man, making his life a living hell.

- he finds out who he is, talks to his commander in charge, and then sets him up for failure, getting him where it’ll hurt.

- he laughs at the fact that people are so clueless, why even bother talking to you when you’re dating erwin.

- “you got me stuck with doing stable duty for a year! what the fuck?!” he cries, stopping you in the middle of the corridor, on your way to erwins office.

- you shrug, shoving past him, “you bitch!”

- “you shouldn’t yell so loud, he might hear you.” you smile, hushing the man, loving how the man was so upset.

- “hear what?”

- the man tries to evade your boyfriend before he gets to him, running out the door and cowering in fear away from the two of you.

mike :

- a combination of the two previous men.

- stumbles upon the two of you, the pervert desperately trying to talk to you.

- you brush him off, ignoring him.

- mike has a harder time concealing his anger, but he’s very witty, very rude.

- he stuffs his hands in his pockets, thinking about what he’s going to say as he reaches towards the man trying to make a pass at you.

- he brushes past the mans shoulder, he stops and steps back, mike turns on his heals and throws his arm over you.

- he stands there, evil smile on his face, listening to the man stand there in silence.

- “what’s up, bud!”

- mike taps his foot, smiling like an idiot.

- “i was just-”

- “you were just what? leaving?”

- “mike,” you mutter, tapping his back, “it’s okay, he wasn’t bothering me,”

- mike shaking his head, taking his arm off of your shoulder and stepping towards the man, who tries to remain still.

- “i think you need to get away from her before i do something about it, yeah?”

[spencersweetie]

here’s a vent

warnings parents?? idk

i literally hate being home lately like. whenever my parents have like a fight/disagreement they give each other the silent treatment for like ever. its happening rn and its been like this since sunday. it’s so awkward bc like if my dad is in a bad mood he takes it out on everyone. like he texted me during dinner and asked me to bring water for him but i was eating so i didnt see it right away. when i did and got up to do it he came inside and i said oh i was about to give it to you and he just ignored me and did it himself and left. i literally hate being fucking ignored it makes me feel so fucking dumb. and yesterday he was like in a bad mood and loudly cleaning the dishes and the kitchen and i was like are u ok and he said yeah so i tried to tell him about my day bc he likes that sometimes and he just. ignored me. i can’t even be like are u mad at me or did i do something wrong bc he’s so passive aggressive so if the answer is yes he either won’t say anything or he’ll straight up yell at me. i feel like this rant is really dumb like it’s a very small issue but i feel crazy at home and i feel like im dumb and i dont even understand why. i fucking hate it here literally every one needs therapy and no one is getting any. what the fuck

[orchidbreezefc]

OKAY COOL I WAS ON THE FENCE ABOUT POSTING MY OWN EXPERIENCES IN THE KFAM DISCORD BECAUSE A POST ABOUT People Being Mean To Sage Specifically SEEMED KIND OF MASTURBATORY OR SELF-PITYING OR WHATEVER BUT IF WE REALLY ARE GOING TO STILL BE OUT HERE PUSHING THE This Server Is A Lovely Familial Community And Dissenters Are The Problem NARRATIVE EVEN NOW? HELL NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

obviously this is hard to be objective about. this stuff is a lot less concrete than my first post, a lot more based on vibes i got, which, yknow, is why it’s not in my first post. but if anyone identifies with this, if anyone sees their own experiences in this discord reflected in mine, then it’s going to be worth the worry i’m reading too much into things, or others thinking the same of me. if i can help anyone who felt like THEY were mistreated there and weren’t sure if they were reading too much into things, then. it’s worth it. especially since the M.O. in there was ‘everything’s fine and if not we’re going to MAKE IT FINE by silencing anyone who disagrees’.

a lot of talk has been done about the censorship (word used loosely, first amendment protects from the government not from the mods etc, definitely a specific suppression of dissenting ideas though) the mods have been doing--once more i suggest @kfam-tea for receipts and screenshots. not something i feel great about, but not something i have personal experience with, so i won't speak to it. see also my first post about my interactions with the creators. it touches on the dogpiling, which i'll go into more depth on in this post. you can find it [link: here].

so. the first thing in the official discord that tipped me off about the hivemind samethink phenomenon is that the whole place is distinctly frosty on the subject of samben. that’s a post all its own, one that follows through to numbers on ao3 and whatever, but i’m not here to make a ship manifesto. suffice it to say i got attached to the ship upon listening, inhaled the (suspiciously small) ao3 tag, and was stopped in my tracks at the discord server where any implication of such ship inclinations were met with silence and pointed changes of subject.

distinctly weird. distinctly unusual fandom behavior, that i couldnt even hint around shipping the two men whose incredibly profound relationship is literally the crux of the show, who have exchanged ‘i love you’s, one of whom is confirmed gay--all other romantic entanglements aside, because when have those stopped shippers? that was weird. i realize that's maybe a bit tinfoil hat of me. it could have been the goldfish-bowl big-brother-is-watching vibe from having creators in there, except, as i said, it carries to other sites.

anyway, much more concrete was when i spoke out about my thoughts on ben’s actions in ep68. again, enough there for another post, so tl;dr: he was doing his best, he’s a good guy and a good friend, but his actions DIRECTLY outed sammy to the WHOLE town, without allowing sammy to say the words himself. it was an accident, yes, but it had tangible, harmful consequences, and even accidental harm warrants apology. it should at least be... acknowledged. at some point. by the show OR the fandom. it's a disservice to ben himself to never get the chance to own up to it.

this was an unacceptable take. i tried breaching this topic and making my case twice, and got THOROUGHLY dogpiled both times. a dozen fans crawled out of the woodwork to argue heatedly, sometimes getting quite aggressive, sometimes toeing the line of outright hostility toward me personally. definitely some downright rude messages. not once did anybody speak up to defend my right to put forward my dissenting opinion, let alone SUPPORT my argument, god forbid. ben’s were the actions of a good friend, i was told. outing someone to their whole town without giving them the chance to say it on their own terms didn't qualify as harm at all, i was told, on account of ben's heart being in the right place.

still, the opinions being argued matter less than the attitudes and behaviors. people don't have to agree with me about that ep, i don't care. i do care about being given the right to, as a single person on my own, have space to make an argument without being shouted down by a dozen people. i do care about how it fit into a greater pattern of forbidding any criticism of the show, and ben in particular, who is a good friend and therefore all of his actions are good and harmless, who is our resident heterosexual unassailable paragon of purity. which might explain the samben problem--sammy/ron[/jack] was perfectly fine, even popular, but there was never a whisper of shipping ben with anyone but emily. they're Official. theyre The Perfect Couple. don't you dare challenge that (and for the most part, i didn’t dare. i quickly learned not to).

my [link: previous post] details kyle's response to these fun events, where he specifically went out of the way to follow me being shouted into silence (a result of me being driven to literal tears and shutting down rather than invite more argument) with a warm congratulations to everybody for their conduct in this discussion. because that's the kind of conversation kyle wants to specifically and explicitly praise and encourage, i guess.

anyway. this contributed to the growing sense over my time in the discord that people held a certain distaste for me but didn’t want to say anything direct. instead they talked around me, ignored me, immediately changed the subject from my messages, the whole while bestowing constant glowing compliments on each other and endlessly repeating saccharine sentiments about what a nice family type community they were, how grateful they were for the discord being such a positive space. i suppose that’s an easy impression to get when negativity is ruthlessly suppressed (and apparently outright censored nowadays) and instead of insults or, god forbid, communication with people with whom folks might take issue, they just (more or less) silently stonewall and cold shoulder them.

again, i could be misreading cues, being egocentric or tinfoil hat by reading this pattern into how i in particular was treated. either way, the fact that i was given the fandom friday shout out the week after KFAM live was definitely... strange. fishy, even. i was already mostly out the door at that point, had been for weeks--it was actually in my last few days speaking there period. i felt strangely guilty that they would dedicate a day to me when i didn’t like being there much and hardly spoke any longer. one thing’s for sure: my congratulations were fewer and more impersonal, perfunctory, and/or generic than other fans got (i kept a screenshot). i still have no idea what to make of that one, but there you have it.

p.s.: since vagues are in vogue now apparently, i might as well mention the person who's been accused of being A Problem In The Discord For A While Now, among nastier things, which definitely is not an effort to justify kyle's passive aggressive response to their untagged post which used the phrase 'death of the author', or kyle subsequently crying on twitter about death threats because apparently he couldn't be bothered to google a basic literary analysis term and thought if he was vague enough nobody would look into what was actually said. i guess he was right, if the hundreds of asspats and outcries against The Evils Of Podcast Fan Meanies were any indication.

i digress. i just wanted to testify that the fan in question was one of maybe three or four people on the server who consistently treated me nicely and acted like they liked me. and that another fan who claimed to be uncomfortable around death-of-the-author-person was the person who came the closest to being outright nasty to me when i expressed a critical opinion. make of that what you will i guess!

p.p.s.: if i never say anything more about this whole thing or the creators’ part in it, i do want to say for the record: noah james is fully exempt from all of this and remains absolutely wonderful and a whole treasure. like dont pedestalize male creators and assume them incapable of wrongdoing etc etc but i had an hour long midnight denny’s breakfast sitting across from him and he was nothing short of an angel the whole time. sweetest guy i’ve ever met. he hasn’t breathed a word about any of this drama. he may not even know it’s going on because he’s too busy being the most beautiful and talented man in america or something. i love you noah

[someone-ds]

Darling, I think I messed up.

I got tangled up between wanting more and being satisfied with what I have.

There is this vacuum inside of me, neglected and stored in the back of my mind. A hole that I try to fill with the love of others. This love I should have gotten from my parents or family. Now I dont know what platonic love or romantic love is. The lines are blurred.

We started out pretty well but my ever existing need for more and more and more drove you away. Nice chats. Compliments and goodnight and good mornings. Talking about everything. You made me think that I was interesting again.

We talked every day and I didn't get sick of you. I have such a small portion of patience and tolerance for people. A flaw that I don't even try to hide anymore. I just get sick of people, I get sick of myself. You just had something that made you different and that's were it all went wrong.

We talked about everything jokingly flirting and it was all harmless. Jokes, sarcasm, whatever. All our friends were in on it, it was an innocent joke. Summer came to a close and it had been over 5 months since I've last seen you. But we talked everyday and I think that made up for the time we didn't see each other.

The last time I saw you we went to the movies. A nice september night. All our friends together again. The 5 of us. I think after that it just all went downhill. Talking to you was almost a necessity. Again my greedy need to satisfy the gaping hole inside of my chest destroyed a perfectly good friendship.

Goodnight darlings and goodnight sweetheart were normal between us. Normal. Joking. Harmless joking. Except there was nothing harmless about it, the end product of all this innocent joking led to confused texts about what is okay and what not. Ignoring each other for a while. Our friends asking what the hell happened and well I just didn't know.

You stopped saying goodnight. You stopped telling me about your day or about your annoying co-worker. I stopped asking after a while. I stopped calling you darling. We stopped talking in the group chat, except for a few passive aggressive responses. It was ought to catch up with us at some point.

Before this I'd argue that I was good at reading people but you were a blank page. A big question mark in front of me. You started to get a bit too possessive for someone who is just a friend. Asking things that were none of your business. About past friendships that scarred me for at least 2 life times. I was starting to get way too defensive. Everything you said was almost a hidden attack of sorts.

Countless times we had discussed my past friendships if you could even call them that and how I have severe trust issues because of those. Countless times I asked you if you still liked me. If I was your friend. And you always said yes but then... well then you said

Idk

You don't know?

That was it I think. The last drop I needed. I exploded, all the confused anger inside of me bubbling up coming in streams. We fought. It was gruesome but it hurt way less than it should have. You know why? I saw it coming, everyone leaves eventually but this time it was just as much my fault as it was yours.

I deleted all my social media, blocked a few annoying creatures from the past. Left our group chats and told you that I was leaving. Only for a while to figure things out. I didn't know what I was expecting. Maybe an apology or a don't go we'll figure this out. Nothing came. I expect too much of teenage boys.

I think this was bound to happen. God or whoever is up there is probably laughing at us now. At least someone can laugh at this massacre because I certainly cannot.

I'm start to dislike you. Took like 2 days. Funny.

I broke down crying three separate times today. I feel like crap

I'm utterly confused and almost mad. It's been a few days now. I saw a flower on my run and thought of you. Starting go get concerned about this whole thing.

[faithfullymckay]

Broadripple: The Retreat, Task One: Character introduction

BASICS

Name: Faith Rose McKay

Age: 18

Grade: Senior

House: Melleray

Cabin Room: Senior Room 2

How long have they been at Broadripple: Four years if you don’t count her six month break

Where are they from originally: Boston, MA

Extra curricular: She’s centre forward on the field hockey team, president of SWAT, is a buddy, Vice Chancellor for Women of Broadripple and a proud member of Sacristan club. She takes all of these roles very seriously.

TRAITS

Positive Personality Traits: Responsible, Organised, Driven, Helpful

Neutral Personality Traits: Athletic, Neat, Honest, Conservative

Negative Personality Traits: Competitive, Judgemental, Naive, Narrow minded

FACTS

Faith is from Boston and is a middle child. Her older sister Hope is a living legend at Broadripple, she graduated a couple of years ago, was a huge sports star and is currently studying pre-law at Villanova. Her younger sister is Trinity, a sophomore and awkwardly trying to fill her bigger sisters’ shoes. Faith loves her sisters, and family in general, a lot. Hope’s her biggest role model, good thing she’s more than happy to fill those big shoes, and she’s constantly trying to make sure her younger sister doesn’t forget the values they were raised on.

If you couldn’t already tell from their daughters’ names, Mr and Mrs McKay are pretty much zealots, and they raised a very good Catholic girl. Faith is pretty much Broadripple’s poster girl so beware if you don’t feel like hearing all about God’s wonderful plan and every traditional value that she’s never thought to question.

Her uncle is a Bishop of Boston, it’s sort of the reason she went to Broadripple in the first place. She’s very proud but also has always felt like she needs to make him understand that recommending her wasn’t a mistake.

No fear there because she’s a model student: good grades, always willing to be involved in school life and tons of BA pride. She observes the rules to a t, no exceptions can be made in her book. Don’t worry, she’s more than willing to hold an intervention or two for those who are struggling more than she is…even if she hasn’t technically been asked to intervene

Your character might be a little shocked to see Faith roaming around campus again because she’s just spent six months in Malawi. As she was a dear friend of Maggie and Izzy, maybe a little more where the latter was concerned, Mr McKay became very anxious when the two seemingly disappeared. The day after her friends’ disappearances, Faith’s place at Broadripple was suspended and she was sent off to Malawi on mission with Hope.

She enjoyed it, she loves helping spread the good word, but she was eager to get back to school - even managed to keep up with her credits so she could slot right back where she was. She’s not thrilled about the whole insect thing, and even she admits the cabins are creepy, but she’s happy to be back.

Watch out for a little blonde girl running around looking like Shrek at house events because Faith isn’t just BA proud, she’s Melleray mad.

The best way to describe Faith is probably control freak. She’s a typical type A personality - she’s got everything arranged in colour coded notebooks with matching binders. She’s a major perfectionist so if she wants something done she does it herself otherwise she’ll just have to correct whoever done it wrong in the first place

She’s passively judgemental, she doesn’t mean to be mean or offend but she has such a small understanding of real world issues that sometimes it happens. If she gets defensive it’s only because she doesn’t understand something and can’t think of a bible verse that vaguely relates.

She’s a textbook people-pleaser so if you ask for help she’s going to find it very hard to say no.

She’s so sweet you’ll get cavities, always good-intentioned even if it doesn’t translate will. Every accidental judgement is said softly with a smile, her hugs are tight and sometimes unexpected because she believes anything can be solved with a good hug no matter who you are.

On the hockey field…well she’s a bit of a monster. You’d never belief it but that girl’s got some aggression. You’re likely to find her at confession after a match because competitiveness isn’t very holy and she definitely needs forgiveness for that wrath.

HEADCANONS

Is a master DIYer. Any life hack you see online? She’s done it.

Big football fan. Specifically the Patriots, used to have a Tom Brady poster that she made her uncle bless before games. She’s not ready to talk about the loss yet.

Scrapbooks everything.

Wears a thin golden chain with a small cross.

Never knocks because she has zero concept of privacy. She’s had very little to hide.

Carries her planner everywhere.

Hates secrets so you have to make it really clear when you don’t want her to blab about something.

Has Love Myself by Hailee Steinfield on her spotify because she hasn’t worked out it’s not about self confidence.

Owns a swear jar.

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE RETREAT

What do they think about The Retreat?

She came back at the wrong time, but Faith is an optimist so if anybody is going to make the best out of a bad situation it’s her. She will admit the cabins are a little creepy but she’s going to do her best to make everybody feel at home. She is pretty sure she saw hell hounds out in these woods once but she’s trying super hard not to think about that.

Do they have any previous experience with camping or other outdoors?

She’s just spent six months in Malawi, most of that being in a tent, but other than that she’s definitely taken a few family trips out to the woods. She’s not the most comfortable, but she’s not totally helpless either.

What does their cabin bunk look like? How will they decorate their space?

A lot of photos stuck to the wall beside her bed: her and Damian, her and the Malawian children she was helping, her and her sisters, an old photo of the god squad. Her bed sheets are pastel pinks, greens, and blues and the bed is always perfectly made. You’ll find a bible tucked between her pillow and the wall and a black hair ribbon tied around the bed post.

Do they believe in the supernatural? To what degree?

Faith is a big believer in the supernatural. Maybe not the ghosts because she believes the afterlife is heaven, hell or purgatory, but she is firm that demons are real and she saw those hell hounds.

Are they easily spooked?

Yes. It comes with the naivety. One ghost story - which she’s going to loudly proclaim they shouldn’t be allow to tell because it’s scaring people! - and she’ll be up for the rest of the night trying to rationalise that it is in fact a tree tapping against the window pane and not Edith Lynch’s victims here to act out their long awaited revenge.

AND FINALLY,

Very accurately, Faith got the lord will protect me from any evil: ghosts? raging animals? monsters? serial killers? they dont have SHIT on our lord jesus christ. Something she’s actually said...the first part, no way is she cussing.

[aughraseye]

Character ask: Onica!

@tunnelscreamer Thanks for the ask!! I ended up procrastinating on this a little, so I’m sorry. But I hope there’s some stuff here you’ll agree with! I’m also gonna take the chance to let you know much I LOVE all your Tavronica fanfiction!! It’s so good and has definitely influenced the way I see their characters!

Anyone who ships Tavra and Onica needs to go read The Storm and The Sifa on Ao3 right now!

Why I like them

I don’t just like Onica. I love her. She’s got that witchy lesbian vibe that makes me fucking swoon.

I loved that she was willing to stand up for Brea and take her seriously. She even dismissed the prejudices against her clan and helped only because it was what she felt was right. She’s far and away one of the wisest characters in the series and she uses that wisdom to the benefit of all Thra. She’s smart, caring, tough, and bold and beautiful.

Like many early members of the resistance she listens to her heart and keeps an open mind. She is unafraid to defy authority and fight for something better. Even her skills as a a fardreamer and soothsayer are put towards the cause. And frankly I love the concept of her gift. Having a character able to tap into the dreamspace, as Onica does, is so amazingly cool.

Honestly in both the show and the books, I loved every second of her character. She is welcoming and warm, a little distant but hardly unfriendly. She is shown time and time again to be true to herself and the causes she cares about above all else. And even in the face of great obstacles, pain, and heartache, she remains relentlessly strong and dedicated to being who she is, living the life she wants, and sharing it as much as she can with those she loves.

Why I don’t

She’s too perfect.

That may sound like a joke, but it is not. In the books and the show, we’re never really given any reasons to not like Onica. She’s never fleshed out quite enough to show any significant weaknesses, character failings, or traits that might cause the reader to feel less than ambivalent towards her.

This could just be an effect of how I read the books, and I welcome others with differing opinions to jump in, but for me I always wanted more insight into her character and for her to be a little more rounded out.

Another thing I will add, not related to the point above, is that in Tides she says that now that Tavra is a spider it will be easier for them to be together. It’s kind of treated like a throwaway line, and we don’t see the effects of that statement play out, but it was either a desperate attempt to look at the bright side of a terrible situation or was an outright awful thing to say.

I don’t necessarily think it should be taken as a measure of her character though. She says it and it pretty much has no effect on the story, her relationship with Tavra as far as the reader sees, and was ultimately kind of inconsequential. That doesn’t make it NOT a troubling sentiment, but I’m willing to overlook it and extend the benefit of the doubt because it did end up being functionally pointless.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

My favorite Onica scene (because there are so many to chose from) is when Brea first goes to see Cadia about the symbol she saw. I really liked how she stood up for Brea and went against Cadia’s wishes to help her. It was a great glimpse into her character and we also got hints at the extent of her gift.

Plus how I can not choose the scene where she smashes Cadia’s head with a teapot?

I also really liked her first appearance in Tides. If I didn’t already love her that would have done it.

Favorite line

“When Elder Cadia looks at your symbol he only sees the end. But I see the chance for a new beginning. End. Begin. Death. Life. It’s all the same circle.”

Favorite outfit

We only get the one outfit, but she looks like a damn snack in it so

OTP

Tavra x Onica own my dumb ass.

Brotp

Onica and Tae!!

I also saw someone else say that Onica and Rek��yr would be good friends and ever since I’ve really wanted to see them interact. Definitely some friendship potential there.

Head Canon

I’ve already talked elsewhere about how I think that both Tavra and Onica have a great sense of humor, and I think there is evidence in the show and books to support that. I’d like to build on that here and say that Onica knows how to weaponize that humor against people she doesn’t like.

Onica is pretty much shown to have an affinity for teasing people - Tavra, Kylan, Peris, etc. - and I think that she knows how to sneak in subtle barbs and digs at those who annoy her. She does it carefully though, with a smile or serious look on her face so they can never quite be sure if she’s just joking or intentionally doing/saying shit to get under their skin. While I’d don’t think she’d ever be outright rude unless they’d really done something particularly egregious, making a few disparaging comments or snide remarks and then passing them off as only a jest is well within her capabilities.

Further, I like to imagine that she isn’t above using her gift as just another tool to poke fun at someone. She basically did do this in Tides when Peris wanted his fortune read, and I really don’t think it was a once off kind of thing.

Unpopular opinion

I don’t think I really have any opinions about Onica that would be considered unpopular, namely because there just aren’t enough opinions circulating about her to begin with.

However, for the sake of putting something here that might at least generate some conversation I will say that Onica is more likely to pick fights with Tavra than vice versa. I really see Onica as the type who, despite a calm and nearly unflappable demeanor, experiences her emotions very strongly. As a result, she has the habit of bottling her feelings up, struggling to let things go, being passive aggressive, and snapping over small things when the real issue is something much bigger.

Tavra meanwhile, though a woman of few words, is generally pretty open about what she feels, especially with Onica. She’s not only calm and easy going, but has learned to let shit go. She also has a blackbelt in conflict resolution (and avoidance) because she’s always in the middle of Brea and Seladon’s arguments.

Onica though, who’s just as good as Tavra at helping other people deal with their problems, can be just awful at dealing with her own. I really don’t think they probably fight often, and I expect them to have strong and open communication, but when they do fight it’s usually result of some long simmering issue that Onica either snaps over or Tavra has to pry out of her.

A wish

I’d really like Onica to have a bigger role in season 2. We only get two pretty brief scenes of her in season 1, and given what a big role she played in the later books I think it would be fitting if they gave her more screen time in the coming seasons.

Seeing her far dream is also pretty high on my wishlist. It was described so well in the books, giving me such a clear picture of what it would look and feel like to look into the dreamspace with her, I really want to see it on screen. Actually seeing her do any soothsaying, fortune telling, etc. would be awesome.

Also, if Tavra is alive they damn well better be sure to give us some Tavronica scenes.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

Tavra’s already dead or a spider. I’ll have to sell all of my possessions and become a wild woman roaming the coasts if they both die……or both become spiders.

5 words to best describe them

Wise, kind, generous, composed, playful

[simplysparrow14]

“Shadows Of The Dark Crystal” Book Review

So, I'm going to say this write out the bat: I gave this book ⭐⭐⭐

And I give it three stars, mostly because it wasn't a bad book by any means, but I found myself really disappointed with this book on a number of issues. I felt that this book had really great potential, but it merely stays in the lane of “It's a first book in a series.” 

To sum up the entire book: 

“Shadows of the Dark Crystal”  takes place within the world of Thra, The home planet of the Dark Crystal. We see the gelfling empire thriving. Everything is peaceful, there are no wars to be fought, every clan is living their best lives, and they are prospering alongside their benevolent rules, the bird-like creatures known as The Skeksis.

 In “Shadows”, we follow a young gelfling tomboy by the name of Naia. Naia is the daughter of the clan Maudra, or leader, but she kind of resents her status of future maudra.  She once had dreams of being called upon to serve The Skeksis, these fair rulers who claim to be the Protectors of Thra, but her dreams were dashed aside when The Skeksis came to call upon her twin brother Gurjin instead. Because of this, she mostly spends her days training to be the next future maudra, to harness a healing fire that has been passed through the Drenchen bloodline for generations. 

One day, while patrolling through the swamp, Naia finds a visitor walking making their way toward her home.  Because of how thick and large the swamp is, Visitors are not common within the swamp, so she;s very on edge as too why this silver-hair, fair-skinned gelfling is trooping through the swamp like an idiot. Following the visitor, it turns out that the visitor, a Vapra gelfling by the name of Tavra, had arrived with a message from the ever-powerful All-Maudra, who sends a message that Gurjin has been branded a traitor to the Skeksis, and is now to be put to trial at the Castle of the Crystal. 

And then everything goes from there….

So from the get-go, I’ve always been hesitant about reading this book. It's mainly because of how deeply I would compare and contrast the TV Show vs The Books. 

I was very afraid that my high-expectations and Love for the show would taint my reading experience throughout the book, and thankfully,  for a majority of the book, it did not taint it. I found myself enjoying it.  but that doesn't mean that I don't find myself really disappointed with the execution of those ideas. 

As usual, I really found myself loving the world of Thra. The way the landscapes and locations are told is absolutely spectacular and i can see everything very clearly. The way J.M Lee encorperates “Clan Life” in the narrative is also wonderful--I absolutely love the snippets we get, like the drenchen putting their dirty food plates in small hanging baskets and leaving them out to get washed in the rain, or the Sprition having a small communal cooking fire and their relationship with the podlings is fantastic. 

The Skeksis were goofy and horrifying as always. and the climax of the book was very intense and action pact. The dialogue for the Skeksis, however, was very jarring at first, especially with the other Skeksis that wasn't the chamberlain. I'm so used to hearing that very lyrical, very quotable dialogue from the show. 

“All the better to hold on life, no matter the cast.” 

“All ready a solution lies within the Scientists very grasp.”

“We are the lords of the Crystal-- We have ruled for a thousand trine, and we shall rule for a thousand more--We are Eternal!

“I plant lies in the ground--Watch grow into Truth.”

“Two questions answer each other.”

“Gelfling have always been ruled--heads down, backs bent!”

The characters were quite pleasant--They did the job they were given. 

Naia and Kylans friendship was so soft and so pure. Just the way the two bonded and cared for each other really made their relationship all the more adorable. 

I loved the rivalry that Tavra and Naia sort of formed, it felt very pure to the conflict within the show, with them allking each other “Drenchen” and “Vapran” with such hatred and disdain. 

I also loved the amount of clan racism that was in this book. I loved the ways that the gelfling treated each other, with one of the most prominent encounters being with Naia and Maudra Mera. I love how J.M Lee wrote the dialogue for the scene--It was very passive aggressive in a way, with Mera basically telling Naia “Alright now, I'm giving you a meal and a place to sleep, but as soon as the sun rises over those mountains, you need to take your dreadlocks and swamp-smell and get out of my clan” 

But im afraid thats where my praise for this book ends, Now onto my complaints. 

So, the book is written in very short chapters, each with maybe 8-10 pages each. It makes for  avery quick read, but thats where one of my complaints with the book lies: There's not enough time within the chapter to fully flesh out the scenes. We do get confrontation on some scenes that come in later chapters, particularly the scene where Kylan explains to Naia that he himself experienced the same vision-residual echo as she had within the dark wood and their dreamfast,  but it wasn't enough for me. It felt as if the book was holding me back with the end of a fairly long pole. I really wanted to dive deep into scenes, explore these characters thoughts and feelings about whatever was happening, but the book wasn't allowing that unless it was directly needed. 

It absolutely felt like the Aughra and Brea scene within The Dream-Space where Brea was like, “Hey--What's wrong with the Crystal?! Why is it cracked?!”

And Aughra’s just like, “We don't have time for that! We’ll get there when we get there! No time for emotional scenes, we need to get this plot moving!”

Another thing that kind of ties up with my first point, is that while the Characters were good and they played their roles well, they’re relationships and dynamics were not fully fleshed out. Everyone felt confined to a role and no one felt fully able to push against those roles. 

One of the reasons why I love the protags in the TV show is that the writers gave them a chance to push against their roles: 

Rain is supposed to be a guard of the castle, this impressive force of strength and bravery, but in actuality he’s very much a coward and like what the chamberlain says, he runs the first chance he gets.  Throughout the season we see him learn from this fight-or-flight mentality, we see him lean to stand his ground and grow a pair in facing the skeksis. 

Deet is a happy little farm child who has a positive outlook on life, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't experience doubt and fear about her journey and her meaning to this big quest. We see her start to view the world differently, and in the end, we see her take a life, something she would have never had done in her lifetime (Granted she took the life of a diseased dodo-overlord, but given that deep is literally a sunshine child, she would have loved Skeklash, warts and all. )

Brea is a princess who loves to learn, she boasts about how she’s read certain books more then once and how she lives in complete luxury, but we also see her being a smartass. She’s manipulative and quick-witted and kind of conniving in the most endearing way. 

In “Shadows,” I never got any of that. I get that its a first book in a series and that as the books go on, the characters character-development will start to come into play, but I feel as though, at the end of book one, your characters should be at least a little bit different than at the beginning. 

In the end, Naia still felt like Naia. Yes, She discovered that the Skeksis were killing gelfling and yes her wings came in at the last second, but in the end, Naia still felt the same as she did in the first page. She had changed, yes, but not enough for me to be really be pumped to see where her character goes from end. 

Same with Kylan. He felt changed, but not enough for me to be excited for him. 

One last thing I need to say is that I wanted the background characters to be more fleshed out.Obviousl, again, I know we have more books in the series to go through to get some development, but i really wanted them to feel real enough for me that when they do come back in the later books, Im absolutly excited to see where they go.  I love Naia’s  family--I love Laesid. I love Bellanji. I love Naia’s little sisters. I love them all, but I wanted them to have more agency on the plot. I love how protective Bellanji and Laesid are of their Children, especially when this silver-haired stranger comes tromping through their swamp and just spits out, “Hey i'm sorry for bothering you during your lovely dinner but your only son is now a traitor to the skeksis and if he doesnt turn himself in we’re going to hunt him down like a nebrie.”

And both Laesid and Bellanji are like “eXuSe mE tHe FuCk?!”

But that also what bothers me is that they do all their negotiating and planning within this scene in Laesids room. There's never a time where Naia and Lakeside and Bellanji and her sisters are gathered AS A FULL FAMILY to discuss what the hell they are going to do about this situation. They’re only son, Gurjin, has just been branded a traitor to the crystal and If they dont bring him home and let him have an audience with the All-Maudra, they themselves are going to be branded traitors as well.  I feel as though with those prospects, the entire family would have taken a few moments to talk about it, instead of Laesid just going, “Okay Bellanji, take Naia with you when you go to the All-Maudra because plot demands her to go.” 

And that's where I think my biggest issue with the whole entire book lies. It fleshes out things, but not enough to where it really packs a punch. It never fully brings it home for me. When I read, I want to be invested. But with this book, I was invested, but not in the way that I wanted. 

Some miscellaneous things:

The Skeksis take Naia to a part of the Castle known as the All-Maudra’s guest Quarters. This suggests that the All-Maudra spent the night within the caslte, thus making it canon that the All-Maudra had seen a naked Skeksis walk the halls of the castle before. 

Tavra just causally popping her arm back into its socket like it was normal Tuesday for her. 

Bellanji flirting with Laesid while she tents to his wounds.

Laesin having (1) leg and being more badass for it

Gurjin being more interested in hunting in the swamp and wooing “Lassi-wings” up into trees for some fun times. 

That (1) podling definitely called playfully insulted Naia on her way to the village. 

Neech being best eel. 11/10 would fetch anything.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

(1)So I've recently come to the conclusion that I want to cut ties with my mother because she's extremely toxic and bad for my mental health. My parents are divorced and she never physically sees me (It's been 4 years) but she messages me and calls me to get angry at me if I take too long to say happy birthday or on any holiday. The majority of my childhood memories with her are all blurred out except for 2 good memories and all the times she frequently screamed at me at the top of her lungs.

(2) My mother has bpd and anger issues, so this would happen a lot over every small thing I did. It totally destroyed my confidence in asking or doing anything without checking to see if it was okay with literally everyone or to see if I could have permission first. She'd yell at me over everything if I couldn't find a certain item she wanted (and her constantly doing that made it to where whenever she'd ask me for something I'd go into panic mode and wouldn't be able to find it as a result)

(3)She'd also yell at me for not understanding my homework or when I'd accidentally hurt myself, drop something, or spill stuff. I also learned after coming out to my dad that my dad has told her he thought I was gay and that she'd vehemently deny it. She's extremely conservative as well (to the far right) and whenever I would visit her she'd spend all the time talking with my brother and I'd be in the background terrified something bad was going to happen and I'd be yelled at.

(4)To put it even more into perspective, on my birthday I took too long getting ready she and my brother left to go get yogurt and I only found out about it once I finished and came out of my room much to my dads confusion who asked why I wasn't with my mom. My entire childhood scope of her is just an amalgamation of her being violently angry and selfish. I dont want her to be in my life or to force my partner or future children to interact with her in any way. But I don't know how to cut ties.

(4) Like I said she hasn't visited for a while, but she will text me and call usually to just inform me that she's upset with me. I know if I don't pick up or respond she will go in a frenzy of angry texts and will spam my phone. I also still live with my dad (who is absolutely wonderful) so there will probably be questions directed at him or even my brother who she talks with all the time. Im 21 now and I don't know how to officially cut ties as I've never really considered it before seriously.

(5//end) but it feels like she will use my cutting her off to victimize herself and won't even hear any reasoning I have. I know for sure she is the type of person to plaster screenshots of conversations on her social media and passive-aggressively make posts if she doesn't. I don't want that but I feel like I'd owe her an explanation as to why I felt compelled to not speak with her anymore What should I do?

Sorry this took so long for me to answer, hon, and I’m really sorry you’re in this situation and that you’ve been put through so much misery. The way your mother has treated you is absolutely awful, and you’re completely right to cut her out of your life.

I’m low on spoons, so let me just relate to you my own experience: my dad walked out on me and my mom just before my 17th birthday, and I cut him out of my life. It took a few emails and texts, and he still sends me cards and tries to play the victim of the daughter who won’t ~reconcile~ with him, claims he misses his ~little girl~, but I throw away the cards and I go on with my life.

I hate my father, and I haven’t missed him even once. My life got so much better when he left and I never had to see him again. It got even better when I stopped responding to his digital communications and I stopped playing into his victimhood. Yeah, I’m sure he tells lies about me to his new family and stepchildren, he acts like he’s the poor guy whose heartless daughter won’t talk to him, but I honestly don’t give a fuck, because I don’t think about him. 

I literally don’t think about him, and that’s a freedom I wish for every child of asshole parents.

I can’t tell you the answer for how to deal with your mom bothering your brother and father, but I can tell you that whatever bullshit victimhood she pulls will be worth not having to constantly deal with her in your life. Deciding she doesn’t matter will be so fucking liberating, and you have the right to make that choice.

You don’t need to justify or reason yourself to her, you don’t owe her anything. You don’t have to argue with her or make her try to understand, you can just lay down your terms and your boundaries and enforce them. It might take practice, but you can do it. You don’t have to say happy birthday to the person who traumatized you, you don’t have to take her call or answer her texts or reply to her emails. Let her be her miserable asshole self and live your own life.

I’m not saying it won’t be hard or won’t hurt or cause problems sometimes, but I wouldn’t go back to being in contact with my father for anything.