#dont get mad at me please i still dont know how tumblr works

[cezorian]

Kian art dump

In early september i made myself a roblox oc that I am hopelessly in love with and they also drastically improved my art skills for whatever reason

(we ignore this one its bad)

(first ref)

(most recent ref)

[mahomadjicks]

Im not gonna lie this is the nail in the coffin for me with clash…

So uh, nahhh. Im good

Between being not too fond of the manager worship in the fandom and the clash team lobotomizing their own game, in my eyes im just done.

Rather than becoming bitter or anything like that, I’m putting this blog on ice indefinitely. if you like me or my art in general, regardless of toontown, look at these;

Main Blog (Random stuff I like/reblog)

https://www.tumblr.com/softpopdrink

Squirrel and Hedgehog related blog (current fandom/art I draw)

https://www.tumblr.com/weaselfactoryex

I still like the idea of Toontown. I may like a few posts here and there going forward. I may or may not finish Greening Sideshow. We’ll see. I’m a small blog, so me leaving wont make a huge difference.

See yall later.

(Below is a rant section, so please ignore if you dont care for that.)

Is it just me, or does it seem like the clash team is bending their own backs to cater to the more ravenous, clash manager obsessed sides of the fandom? Being a fan of normal cogs, or TOONS for that matter sucks. Godspeed if you like anything besides Clash in general. Rewritten fans are just that, written off and not as noticed as their clash counterparts. You can see the interaction disparity just by looking on the tumblr tags. It literally took a ‘manager-like’ update with the new department heads for the game to get any sort of traction.

If you’re a fan of a server like ODS/Realms/literally any smaller server then god…I dont know what to say. I’m so sorry. What little attention you get for that hard work, and the small teams that are still holding on despite being brushed aside CONSTANTLY. You all are certainly strong. It must be absolute HELL to constantly be told to use your talents for clash or rewritten. Or to be told that your work would be great (as a feature for a larger server)…

Corporate Clash itself seems to be buckling under the swaths of new fans only arriving for the manager cogs. A lot of the updates and lore changes post 1.3 just seem to further weaken and break the game. Mechanics wise, the clash team seems to think that making manager fights hellish or straight up impossible to beat unless you do very specific character builds or strategies is a good thing. SPOILERS!!! Its not. Sure, you pat the back to anyone who unhealthily studies the game or looks at the wiki, but to new players who just wanna casually go through the story? They get chewed up and spit right back out by some out of nowhere cheat for the umpteenth time—

Looking at lore is a shaky subject in Corporate clash, so i understand wanting to tweak things. Alas, the clash team seems to want their cake and to eat it too…by wiping away 90% of Pre-1.3 updates without acknowledging the massive gaps in lore that opens up. Its not like they can’t look back and reference lore either. If a lowly fan like myself can piece things together then why cant the staff of literal game? They claim that old lore is confusing, when it literally takes a couple google searches to find what they’re looking for! The clash managers LITERALLY are the results of actions and events in Break the Law, aka, pre- 1.3 lore. To remove that removes their point of existence. Removing The CJ’s prior existence in the game, as well as him quitting, LITERALLY removes the reason why the CLO, and the Litigation Team exist in the overall story. Absolute nonsense.

Okay. Something slightly more positive.

I can understand why they wanna distance theirselves from Coach Z. Having a character associated to a homophobic old man sucks. I’m not too mad about that.

I understand why the Clash team thinks their choices are beneficial. Regardless of how much I stomp and whine, going forward, the clash manager cogs are the ‘blueprints’ of success for Toontown servers going forward. All of them are great challenges (when not constantly buffed) and breathe life into a 20+ year old game. Each of the managers are great characters in their own right, i just wish the fans didn’t treat them as the center of the universe.

At the end of the day, the clash team isn’t getting paid for all they do. They do all this stuff, updates for free, and that’s amazing. It’s just not for me anymore.

(Rant section over)

[scummy-writes]

Scum's Anon Tips

Hello 👋 I have been on tumblr for around 8-9 years and have seen this website change a lot! Nowadays, I notice old information circling around regarding anons, and I wanted to share some information I've experienced through my time here.

This is not meant to be mean spirited, it's just meant to be helpful since I am noticing a trend of anon hate in the circles I'm around. Please feel free to add any corrections that you know to be true, or any additionals.

1. Blocking an anon does not put the user who sent the message in your block list.

(Tested and verified)

I see this one spread a lot and, from what I believe, this is from Way Back on tumblr from around the time I joined. It's possible that this was never a thing, and people just said it was, or this was a glitch that happened eons ago. Who knows! This site is held together by sticks and gum, so shit happens.

What happens instead is that it blocks the anons IP address . This is verified here by the site themselves (under 'other considerations'). Before they implemented having to be logged in to send anons, this made dealing with anon hate a bit more difficult since dedicated folks could try to bypass the IP block.

2. Blocking one anon message, out of a group of them, then refreshing, can show you how many of those anons were sent by the same person/IP.

(Tested, verified with note)

This is something I would do when I would seemingly get a batch of anon messages from 'multiple' people in the last few years (and recently as of March/April-ish of 2023), only to block one and then refresh, and have all of the hateful messages suddenly gone from my inbox. It's a helpful way to help realize that no, 282973 people are not slamming in to get mad at your characterization in a fanfic, its usually just one dedicated asshole.

Side note: last time I tried this, I did have a notif for one of the anons in my notifications, but not actually in my inbox. It's possible that this may be buggy at times. In my experience, aside from that single instance, it's repeatedly gotten rid of other hateful anons in my inbox.

3. Blocking someone who you believe/know sent the anon message does nothing to the anon message in your inbox.

(Tested, verified)

Until recently, I thought that this would work! But as of 07/09/2023, I realized that this does nothing to any anons in your inbox. I had my roommate send me an anonymous message, then I blocked her account and refreshed my inbox multiple times: and it never touched the anon message. I think this is odd for tumblr to do, but it may line up with some sort of privacy protection they have.

So if you have any worries if someone sent an anon message, this is not a way to test it out.

4. (A Tip) If you find yourself getting a lot of anon hate...

Not a great answer, but one that is needed to be heard: Stop Answering Them. We've all been online long enough to hear the 'dont feed the trolls' mantra, but seriously. Answering the ask means you can no longer block Or report it. In point 2 I mentioned it's usually one dedicated asshole, but if it isn't, then you're just opening yourself to more anon attacks. If you Badly want to answer it- screenshot it, then answer that way, because at least you can still block and report the OG anon. I think this is even more important now that users have to be logged in to send anon messages. They can't play with IPs as much anymore with this feature, so it's more important than ever to block and report em now.

Reporting can be done on mobile and desktop version of the site, as well as blocking. Please, always utalize these. You're not a 'coward' or whatever for curating your online experience.

Additional Note:

When it comes to information spread about anons, a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself if it seems to be in line with any possible privacy issues with tumblr. The point of anonymous messages, good or bad, are to be anonymous. It does not make much sense for a site to allow you to easily see who sent the anon in that context. Especially when, on the official Help section of the site, they have confirmed that even staff supposedly doesn't know who sent said anon ask (It's under 'What About Anonymous Asks?'). So why would they have their site (alibet held together with sticks and gum) show you very easily who sent the anon?

On their side of things, I hope this is a little fixed now that we have to be logged in to send messages, so that they can take action on the accounts sending hateful shit.

-----

Please feel free to add onto this list, but I repeat, please add on with things you know to be true. Not stuff you heard through the grapevine, as there is so much misinformation on that vine, but things you yourself have experienced and have Worked. It'll be helpful to know if your tip is something from before the 'must be logged in' change or not as well!

[hauntedtotem]

So i dont know your OCs but tell us about one! Please?

HI! so. Im currently working on getting updates ref sheets bc my birthday is coming up and i might commission or find art trades or whatever- but atm I'm stuck with old art for most of them, bare with me here :')

starting off with Rayn (pronounced like Rain), they're a fallen angel that was cast out of heaven by a tyrannical god for disobeying orders (was supposed to smite a human but felt too bad about it) they're nonbinary and a total softy, very timid "crybaby" type but they come out of their shell more after meeting their gf Dusty

Dusty and Rayn are some of my oldest ocs i still use, dating back to 2015 and were originally inspired by wtnv and gravity falls

(ooold art here vv, all outdated information )

they used to have multiple/weird eyes like this but eventually was changed, which sucks bc i have some cool ass fanart of these designs. I don't want to scrap these tho so I'm thinking they can be alt forms for when they're more "powered up"?

--

Then there's my mad scientist boys, modeled very very vaguely off me and my partner lol. They're trying to create an army to sell to rich villains, but have very different approaches. Malcolm (blue) is trying to resurrect the dead, while Lucius (green) is trying to create sentient mutant plants. They're more of a comic relief than a serious story-line, and not very successful in their endeavors

---

then Clementine and Vermillion-

Clementine is a gardener that has a huge distaste for humanity, believing that humans are evil and have poisoned the earth to an irreversible degree, so she summons the god of decay and rot (Vermilion) to bring about a plague and wipe out humanity. Problem is, Vermilion isn't this horrific eldritch creature she thought he was going to be. He's more of a trickster god and likes humans a lot, "because they're funny" and he likes their fashion. His story arc is more so about how rot is a necessary part of the circle of life and how concepts like death aren't evil- it can also be beautiful and bring forth new life. so, Clementine USED to look like this vvv

but everyone HATED her??? so she got n update. ((the skull pupils r from her pact w vermilion bc she has to serve him now tht she summoned him

and this is vermilion

admittedly, he is very fun to make horror content for though, and I like dressing him up in a bunch of different outfits lol

theres abt 4+ more ocs, but tumblr wont let me add more photos lol

[inkwell-intrigues]

OKAY SO I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY TO THE CREATOR!

(P.S if you do post this it has major spoilers!!!)

…

…

… 

Okay sooo

YOU ARE SO GOOD AT WRITING I'M MAD AT MYSELF BECAUSE THE BOOK IS SO GOOD LIKE HOW I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHO GENTTE WAS AND DIDNT CARE TILL I SAW THIS STORY AND READ IT!!!!!!! OMG NOW IM SO ATTACHED TO HER!!! SHE IS SUCH A MOTHER THE POWERS OF THE STRENGTH AND SIGHT GO SO BEAUTIFULLY WITH CUPHEAD AND MUGMAN WELL THEY WERE MEANT FOR THEM BUT STILL THO AND THE SASS AND ATTITUDE AND BACKSTORY OF KING DICE IS SO WELL WRITTEN!!!! AND THE DEVIL IS JUST LIKE IF I WAS STARING AT SATAN HIMSELF LIKE IF THAT WAS HIM AND THE STORY IS SOOO WELL WRITTEN BECAUSE I CAN SEE MYSELF THERE EXPERIENCING IT ALL! AND IT'S SO WELL WRITTEN I'VE SAID THAT LIKE 4 TIMES ALREADY BUT I DONT CARE ITS SO GOOD!!! I LOOOOOVE THE TRUMA THE BOYS GO THROUGH… (that’s probably weird but yeah). I LOVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT LIKE IF THEY WERE ACTUALLY DOING IT IN REAL LIFE AND HOW BOTH BOYS WHEN THEY SNAP LIKE KING DICE SAID RELATING THEM TO ONE OF THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS THEY EXPLAIN GREED TO CUPHEAD WHO WAS THE ONE TO GET THEM ALL IN SHAMBLES IN THE FIRST PLACE AND WHEN ELDERKETTLE HITS HIM IN THE HEAD HE REALIZES  AND WRATH TO MUGMAN!!!! AS HE MIGHT KILL KING DICE BY LETTING HIS FEELINGS GO HIS UNDYING HATE!!!! AND WHEN BOTH BOYS DO THIS ITS LIKE AS SOON AS THEY DO SOMETHING IN THE MORTAL/DEADLY SINS THEIR EYES TURN LIKE THE DEVILS!!! MAYBE THAT'S WHY GINETTE HAS THE EYES BECAUSE BACK WHEN SHE WAS THE MAD LITTLE SCIENTIST SHE DID SOMETHING THAT MADE HER EYES CHANGE! AND AND HENCHMAN IS SO ADORBS AND THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND MS CHALICE AND CHALICES BACKSTORY IS A CHEF’S KISS!!! I LOVE ALL THE CONNECTIONS BACKSTORIES AND PROGRESSION AND LOVE THE TATTOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WISH THE BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND AND ON THIS BOOK I HOPE YOU CONTINUE AND I WILL KEEP SENDING KUDOS TILL MY PAGE CRASHES!!!! YOU ARE SO GOOD AT WRITING KEEP IT UP AND PLEASE TEACH ME SOME TRICKS I MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT BE WORKING ON MY OWN BOOK!!! ABOUT THEM KEEP UP THE LORE AND WISH YOU THE BEST TAKE A BREAK TO JUST NOT TOO LONG BECAUSE WE ALSO WANT IT TO CONTINUE!!!!!! KUDOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS TO YOU <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 < 3 AND YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD CONTINUE WITH THE BOOK!!!!! KUDOSSS TO YOU AND DON'T WORRY YOUR ANGST AND BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THE BOOK ARE JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT!! CONTINUE WITH YOU AND DON'T GIVE UP NOW I WILL GO SUPPORT YOU AND OTHERS FANDOM SUPORTER OUT!!!!

WAHHHADFHUIGFHIOFGRIHORGHIORGEHIRDGHIRGHRGHGRD???????

THANK YOU!!!!

Dude, legit I haven't logged onto Tumblr in so long because I've been burnt out and freaking out about how I was gonna have to announce that I'm rewriting TSTS and legit this ask was like...

I needed this, really badly. Thank you, thank you SO much for this. I really really appreciate it.

Thank you <3

I promise the rewritten TSTS will be worth the wait

[boyfhee]

realised that i didnt reply to the latest ask you have answered ;-; hope medicine isn't treating you hard but if you work hard and think it is going to go good, that should be enough. don't take too much stress sweetheart <3 wow a neurosurgeon needs a lot of strength and patience, as the tools for brain have not been discovered yet, it is quite hard, brain surgeries and becoming a doctor for it — i respect you for that. ( imagine five years from now, i become engineer and cry about jay too 😭 we sit on the same boat sweetheart!! )

but yup yup, you are right, once classes start they will teach but if i were ready beforehand , it would be easier for me hehe, so i asked my mom what to study, she recommended to study c language + she said she would teach me + i never knew my mom specialised in c language 🥲 but i will try my best in learning from my mom and the internet

no for real, last year we had out lab practicals written too, during dusheera holidays, i put flicker, bills and chaconne on repeat <33 please help, i knew chaconne would make it well, i still can't understand how people can judge a 10 second music clip without hearing the whole song like dude?? listen first, judge later!!!

haha, waiting for season 3 patiently and beusoir is so cute and your discord name is much cuter :( wow, but i dont have discord so ill give you my instagram when i feel like it :p (because i havent created one yet for my future tumblr friends 🥲) noo because you always expect the unexpected hehe… but i was your fan, true fan <333 love you sweetheart :)

— lover club anon <33 congrats on 5k again

love, i have two of your asks unanswered i'm the worse one between the two of us :/ neuro is acc really interesting because wow!!!! live surgeries :D u def can't perform a heart surgery while keeping someone up ( although i think patients are awake during stenting :O ) but i wanna do cardio more because i remember stuff about heart and thorax easily .. idk u ask me nature of twelve cranial nerves and i'll fumble but ask me one thing about heart i'd be lore dropping TT

RIGHT five years later i'll text u on insta ab someone from enhypen enlisting and we'll be crying and next sec i'll be like oh shit gotta go someone in the er burst an artery ? 😭 or you'll be writing the best of the codes like mhm yeah jay is enlisting— why isn't this code working 😭😭😭😭 struggles bruh

omg c++ ?? i didn't know it was still in use so i never mentioned it but i think it might be necessary .. who knows :O but ur mum knowing coding is so cool, i hope u have a fun time learning ^^ let me know how it goes, feel free to drop some info here to feel smart while i stare blankly and take notes :>

prdx always helps me concentrate on physics idk why 😭 i wrote my phy practicals and practiced the mocks to that song TT also yeah, i get u might have fav tracks js from snippets but still!!! i remember when memorabilia dropped, everyone who didn't like teeth that much was bashed on ?? like playfully, most of the time, but some of them were really mad like cmon aren't i supposed to choose my fav song lmfao

take your time with the accounts, i'll be looking forward to following you on insta as well ^_^ and it's completely fine if you don't have disc, it's not like we have to be in touch everywhere :"> love u too, bby mwah

[ohwonzs]

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆🌹

PAIRING(S):: nsb x reader

GENRE(S):: soft/fluff

W.C:: + 1K

WARNING(S):: cursing, none

!!not checked twice

AUTHOR’S NOTE:: tumblr keeps deleting this shit im so done fr- enjoy<33

𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫: 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐬

As I already said, Oliver is a teddy bear: he is so lovely and soft im crying. We already saw how he is when he meets stars, so the first thing I'd think abt Oliver's form of love would be hugging. He would hug you whenever he can, no matter the situation: for example, if u are sad or not feeling good he'd hug you tight and whisper smth like "Hey, don't worry, I'm here with you okay?" or just a simple "I love you" (simple but full of love uwu). He would hug you after a long day at school/work, while you are cooking dinner for the two of you, and even while you sleep. He just wants you to know that he loves you a lot and that he is beside you.

𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐞: 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬

I think Kane and Oliver would have similar forms of love: Oliver's is hugs, and Kane's is cuddles. Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles, this is what goes on Kane's mind whenever he sees you. Like Oliver, Kane just wants to make sure that you know he is and he will always be right there for you, but also he likes to see your body wrapped in his arms (it makes him the happiest human being living). He loves to cuddle, especially before going to sleep because he has the opportunity to protect you while you sleep. He would pet your hair, hug you tight, and whisper romantic ass things to you, such as "I love you so much" "you make me so happy" etc. You better marry this man or I'll go after you 😤😤

𝐒𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧: 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮

We know how is Sebastian, and honestly, I think he would show his love for you not by doing smth romantic like Oli or Kane, but by making fun of you (not seriously). He would do it if you are shorter than him, or for things that happened in the past. You would complain and tell him it's not funny, but this mf finds you so cute when you get mad, especially when you pout and go away angry (he'd do it on purpose no cap). Sometime you'd stop talking to him and he would do anything to make you talk to him again- i mean it. He may be annoying as hell sometimes, but he just wants you to know he loves every imperfection of you ngl this is a weird way tho

𝐑𝐲𝐚𝐧: 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬

When we think about Ryan one of the first things that come into our minds, after the fact he is hot as fuck look at me simping lmao, is that he doesn't like skinship and affection, but YOU ARE WRONG GRR. Ryan himself told us that he likes PDA (his TikToks r a PURRFECT example fr). For example, once he said that he would put a pic of him and his s/o kissing as lockscreen, he even said he would kiss his s/o 24/7, so dont think he'll stay still cuz bruh he won't😭 NO BUT I WANT THIS😭😩 I think his forms of love would be kisses but also holding hand yk. This mf clearly said he loves kisses, so be ready to be attacked by his lips lmao😭😭 He would kiss your cheeks, your neck, your lips, your hands, your fingers, EVERYTHING, he loves to kiss you and he will always do that, no matter what. Maybe he won't kiss you that much when you are in public or when the members are around, but still. He'd probably kiss your hands randomly, but mostly when you two are holding hands I fucking want this holy shit: he'd hold your hand randomly, just because he wants to feel your presence. He'd do it while you two are hanging out, while driving, or when you are cuddling on his bed. Please please please show him affection or I'll do it back off LMAO he will play valo for a whole day😟😟 (straight)

𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧: 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

Like Ryan, I think Justin would show his love by holding hands. He wants you to know he is with you and that he will never leave your side, no matter what. He wants you to be conscious that he loves you to death, and that you are one of the most important people in his life. He would hold your hands especially when you are feeling nervous, or there's something big coming (such as graduation, meeting parents and friends, etc) and he'd probably tell you something like "Don't worry about it, you'll make it" "I'm right here, dont worry okay?" or just a simple "I love you" in a very comfortable way. He loves to see your small hand holding his, he finds it really cute uwu. Holding hands makes him really happy and better, so please hold his hands whenever you can:((

𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐞: 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬

It may sound pathetic as hell, but Regie would let you wear his clothes. He loves to see your lil body in his clothes, he finds it hilarious🧍‍♀️ "LMAO BABE YOU ARE SO TINY HAHA" 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ anyWAYS- It all started when you slept at his place and the next morning you put on his hoodie cuz it was cold and your dumb ass forgot to bring a sweater, since then Reg's obsession started😭 He'd do anything just to see you wearing clothes of his, and I mean it: for example, he'd hide your clothes and act like he does not know a thing. "Regie where are my clothes??" "I don't know, well since you can't find them you can wear mine". He even left some of his clothes at your place, in case you want to wear them. If he tells you to wear them, dont complain, just do it, you'll make him the happiest. MY HEARTEU

𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧: 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Darren fought so hard to get a partner 💀 that now he doesn’t want to ruin anything (you are basically stuck with him LMAO HELP-🤡🤡). He knows too damn well you love the food he cooks, so he would cook for you almost every day give me a Darren pls. He’d cook for special occasions (such as birthday, mensiversary, graduation or/and meeting your parents) or even randomly, you know, just because he loves you so much. Speaking of parents, after eating Darren’s food they’d probably tell you to marry him asap😭😭😭 no but fr they’d be speechless who wouldn’t bruh

DO NOT STEAL MY WORK!!

credits to the owners of the banners

[xmascritter]

So, I have been dragged out of my internet slumber leading up to finals to see this mess, and i dont post much, but I do have to rant here because people keep saying something that gets on my nerves.

NSR/NO STRAIGHT ROADS PEOPLE: THIS RANT IS NOT AT YOU! This is tagged because I am using concept art of Sayu. Please go on with your day. :)

Now, for the Subma and/or Pokémon fans,

As Im sure everyone who has been under the ingo tab for more than 2 seconds today has learned, there's supposedly a leak of pages from the PLA concept art book of the concept art of Ingo with a receding hairline and no eyebrows. If you don't know what Im talking about, here is the picture.

Now, I feel I have to address this first before I move on to my actual problem here. I personally see no problem with Ingo having a receding hairline and no eyebrows. Honestly it's kind of funny. Will I personally be drawing and/or imagining him with a receding hairline? For the most part, probably not, but I support the people who do.

HOWEVER, what I AM pissed about are the people who are saying that this is canonical. You have to remember that this is an art book, and while it is still official concept art, it is just that, CONCEPT art.

CONCEPT 👏 ART 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 ALWAYS 👏 CANON!!! 👏

A perfect example of this is Sayu from the game "No Straight Roads" by Metronomik (hi NSR fans, sorry if you're still here and have decided to see the fuck is happening in the pokémon side of tumblr). The lovely crew behind the character designs for the game let us see A LOT of the concept art for these characters, and probably one of the most distinct evolutions of the characters design in the lineup and probably the best example of my case is Sayu, the bubbly mermaid popstar. Some of her earliest concept art shows her even before she was decided to be a mermaid!

Now, is this what sayu looks like? NO! Can you draw her like that or write fanfic about her looking like that? Yes! But JUST BECAUSE ITS AN OFFICIAL CONCEPT DOES NOT MEAN ITS CANON. Early concept art of her even in her mermaid form shows a vastly different design!!!

Later concepts do get a lot closer to what her official design is, but, well... thats how concept art works! The later concepts are going to a lot more closely resemble the final product because its what immediately lead to it!!!

Needless to say, we don't know all the changes Ingo's design went through during concept phases to his official artwork, since Gamefreak only shows us so much in these artbooks, we don't fully know how his design has evolved over time. However, this

And this

Are the official design and model that we got. Meaning his hairline could be fucking across his forhead for all we know. Please, do have fun and enjoy drawing bald Ingo, I look forward to seeing what this does to all the fanfics, headcanons (ha!), and the stories. But please, don't call that shiny head canon, I don't need to burst a blood vessel today. You can call me in denial all you want, but unless we see his hairline in some official artwork like pokemon masters or the anime or something, I will continue to sit on this hill until I too look like I've gone through hell after getting yeeted to the wrong time period.

TL,DR; girl gets irrationally mad at tumblr because they keep saying that because something is in the concept art that it is canon.

Thank you for reading through my half baked rant, and I am sorry.

[overwatchfics]

shhh im on anon because im too nervous to not be. anyways! hi there mage, if you recognize this typing style or not, that doesnt matter, i've just come to deliver some good words to you!

i love, and i mean i LOVE your content!! well. the fluff content, at most(nsfw and such else arent my thing is all!!), and you have genuinely no idea how excited i get when your content appears in the tags!! you have such a fun way of writing headcanons as well as you make it unique to yourself, and i think thats awesome!! i love that you put your heart into your content, er, well...i see that you do, and its so nice that you write for the silly people within this fandom!

it sucks that people also are. weird to you and dont follow your rules. thats a load of bullshit. i sincerely apologize that happens to you :(( but you're a trooper as ever and you still manage to be clear with your boundaries. people are just hella stupid

anyways! im closing this off by saying that your (fluff) content has truly brightened my days a lot, and i look forward to what else you put out!! never stop being awesome, you silly goose!

IDK WHO YOU ARE BUT FUCK DUDE THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY TO READ.

I understand NSFW isn't everyone's thing so as much as people want this to be a pure smut blog, I love writing fluff and romantics just as much! I'm glad you enjoy my content otherwise! It warms my heart knowing that I really try to put myself out there in the way I write HCs I try to be goofy make people laugh or just have some random HCs out there to get people super confused like I totally know that Sigma's favorite cereal is captain crunch. I love providing cool content for people, that's how I met a good chunk of my cool mutuals on this site! I play with them sometimes or just chat and tumblr has become a safe place for me socially, I'm so glad to write for my mutuals and my readers especially when I get messages like this in my inbox? I'm so happy people genuinely get gratification from my writing; I want to improve and make it quirky and fun for people to enjoy as time goes on. Thank you so much for the kind message! People who don't want to follow rules clearly don't want me to write for them so now I just delete their requests, but I have made it clear so many times about my rules and req status. I gain most of my inspiration from my other mutuals to write when Kiriko first came out I desperately wanted to write for her and the first writer I interacted with and was the first to write for her was @leorawright (super cool homie check out their stuff so wholesome and good and jsahdfkasjhkljahg just check them out) and I made a blog for OW I was originally just going to make it for kiriko, but their HCs made me want to explore character depth and have fun with the way I see characters. It started with Leora and I've met so many other writers, artists, and readers who have expanded my creative pallet. I wouldn't be writing the stuff I do without all of them. Their own content has brightened my day numerous times so get it fr anon.

KNOW WHAT CALLING OUT THE HOMIES RN

@raihyeon @trcwen @leorawright @syddybus @enforcermoss @moira-mains-go-to-hell @leonhardt-simp @cerezzzita @tonberry-yoda @moicy-madness @yospongebobthisedibleaintshi @legoskii37 @waspsinmyvents (idk if there's actually wasps in her vents, but I am terrified)

I'm very glad to have met and interacted with these people. Their content, words, and feedback are inspiring. Please, if given the chance go check out their works as well! Super damn good, most of them are multifandom so go ahead and check out what fandoms they write for and see if you match up with anything they write! Very friendly and chill community

Anyways on one last parting note, thank you all for continuing to support and enjoy my content, it means quite a lot to me knowing people out there read what I write. Keep kicking ass y'all! Your mage will keep on lifting the pen!

[orionsangel86]

I don't often ever really talk about these things but like, does anyone else have MAJOR franchise fatigue?

Marvel, Star Wars, Disney, HARRY FUCKING POTTER

I am so done with them all.

I'm gonna rant about Harry Potter for a bit. Fair warning.

I got tired of Harry Potter well over 10 years ago. The final movies hadn't even been released and because I have the disadvantage of living in bloody England Harry Potter bullshit has been EVERYWHERE for TWO FUCKING DECADES. I remember my friend dragging me to the studio tour because she got tickets for her bday. I like movie BTS stuff but my god the amount of BUY THIS BUY THAT that gets shoved in your face drove me mad. Proud to say that other than the OG books I read when I was a teenager I have never owned a single bit of HP merchandise in my LIFE. It took my irl friends bullying me to finally go on pottermore and get sorted into a Hogwarts house when I was 27. TWENTYSEVEN. I resisted for years!! I don't even care. They sat me down and made me log on to that stupid website and take the stupid quiz whilst I raised an eyebrow the whole time and tried to smile and pretend it was fun. After all, I'm not actually a total bitch and they are my friends and were enjoying themselves and I didn't wanna upset them. But why do I need to know if I'm a hufflepuff or whatever? Oh thats right, so I can buy the appropriate MERCHANDISE.

You know real witches make their wands? They go out and find a tree and ask the tree if they can take a branch, you have to give the tree something back and say a blessing. You can add crystals or ribbon or whatever you want but a wand is NOT something you buy in a bloody shop. I hate that HP made kids think that.

Why would anyone wanna buy a game about a nearly 3 decade old franchise thats been shoved in all our faces practically our whole lives (if you are a millennial or younger). Im not a gamer anyway so I don't get the appeal but even without all the transphobia and antisemitism involved the whole concept is extremely tiresome to me.

Can we please be done with Harry Potter now??? I dont wanna see it. I dont wanna see anything about it. I didnt give a fuck when I was in my early twenties and I dont give a fuck now in my late thirties its never been any fucking good. Its a rip off of Lord of the rings crossed with the writing of Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman anyway.

For years I felt awkward even mentioning to people that I didnt like Harry Potter, like it was a cardinal sin or something. I'm glad people are finally seeing it for what it truly it, even though I wish it didnt take the lives and rights of transpeople to get to this point. Its disgusting that its still so damn popular even WITH JKRs blatant transphobia. I hope the boycotts work. Trans and Jewish people you have my love and support, for both your sakes and so that bloody franchise can stop being shoved in my face everytime I leave the bloody house. Im glad people are finally picking it apart and realising how problematic it was. Things I think made me uncomfortable about it before I really understood the depth of reasons why.

I have been obsessed with witchcraft and paganism since I was a child. I was a weird kid. Harry Potter turned something I was passionate about in a deeply personal way into a consumerist nightmare. Witch became synonymous with it, spells, charms, magic, I'm honestly surprised JKR didnt try to copyright the terms.

Look I dont often talk about social issues. My tumblr is my escape from the injustices of the world and I take my mental health very seriously. But I support trans and jewish people in boycotting this game.

I care about trans rights, about the rights of LGBTQA+ people. The rise of antisemitism AGAIN deeply disturbs me. People truly never learn from history do they? I try to do my bit where I can offline. I have signed petitions, I have donated to causes where I have found them and I am most definitely gonna do my damndest to get everyone I know to vote the transphobic (and otherwise generally evil in every way) Tory government OUT at the next election.

This rant may come across a bit selfish. It is tbh. I am fucking glad Harry Potter isnt popular anymore. Though outside of online communities particularly in the UK its still huge and everywhere. I wish we could wipe it off the face of the Earth.

I am fed up of all these franchises though. If I never have to sit through another Marvel movie it'll be a happy day. If I never have to hear the fucking Star Wars theme again I'll celebrate, if I never have to read about another Disney remake again Ill be so relieved (although I do get some satisfaction reading about them flopping). This post capitalism hellscape we exist in is fucking exhausting.

What we really need to do with these franchises though is pull an Avatar on them (the blue people not the cool cartoon). We need to stop talking about them. Stop letting them infect our collective cultural consciousness. The only way to get them out of our faces is to actually let them die. We did it right with Fantastic Beasts. We can do it again. Remember that in capitalism, even negative press is good press, and the more the press focuses on the controversies and discourse, the more the name of the game is getting into the minds of consumers, especially those that dont give a fuck about trans rights or antisemitism.

I dont know where it ends, but my god I hope it HAS an end. Something surely has got to give right? Anyways. I dunno if there was a point to this rant other than im fed up of a lot of things and feeling particularly grumpy today, but anyways. Boycott Harry Potter and all things related to it.

Support trans rights. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Enough of this bullshit already.

[husbandohunter]

So like...this is honestly the first time.I'm ever requesting on Tumblr...so please dont be mad if I'm.not descriptive enough..

But i love the beautiful angst you be writing😩 and i wanted more...however I'm also in a genshin parenthood faze atm so you can probably see where I'm going here

I wanted to request one where the reader is the guys' gn! Child (Diluc, Childe and anyone else of your comfort) and they go too far from their dad's sight and end up getting taken by some bad people (like the abyss order or fatui or just a powerful person who has a grudge) and like they get really mad and go to find their kid but is meet with a painful sight (you could choose whatever it is whether death or their hurt really badly etc)

Like just that fatherly vibe...ugh i need it...sorry if this is a little too much...just something along those lines u know?

Fatherhood [Genshin x Child Gn!Reader]

Synopsis: A father's love is like a lion's heart. When their child is endangered the facts don't count.

Characters: Diluc, Childe

Heads up: depictions of violence, angst, child reader

"Hi anon, thanks for sending in the req! There's no need to be ashamed at all, I know how nervewracking it can be to send your first ever request (I was there too!) It makes me warm inside when you say my writing is beautiful 😳 I want to deliver. Tho, I held back on the death part since I have a very soft spot for children.

======================

{Diluc}

"Papa hurry up! We have to be fast or the crystalflies will fly away."

You tugged on your father's sleeve with both hands, urging him to quicken his pace, however it only caused him to trip over a few of his steps. The Dawn Winery was most fruitful during the spring season. Grapevines ripe as can be, ready to be harvested and the mint-scented smell carried in the occassional wind whenever it passed by the river-stream. While mother nature sings amongst this new birth of birds and trees, this only served as a sign that Diluc's schedule would be much busier than before. New menus, adjustment to the interior design for Angel's Share, business partners, endless and endless work piles in his head as he went about his day until you managed to beg him out of the tight office room he deliberately burried himself in.

"Ahm, careful there love. The crystalflies won't go away unless we approach quietly. There's no need to rush."

The maids dusting their brooms upon the stone porch couldn't help but sneak in a giggle at the sight playing before them. He was heavier, far taller in comparison and more...tired. As always, Master Diluc was no match for children, not even his own.

You skittered to a halt, causing yourself to lean forward while clinging tightly to your father's hand for support. Diluc pulls you back as you laughed away and squealed when bumping into his stomach. With your chin planted directly on his shirt, you looked up at him with brilliant eyes, "I have an idea!"

"And what might that be?" He calmly asked, resting both hands at the small of your shoulder.

"Can you carry me instead?" You began jumping vigorously with arms spread wide, "Please and thank you? I want to hug you Papa."

Diluc lets out a soft chuckle at your enthusiastic request and leans down to your level, "Alright hold still," he scoops you into his grasp, bouncing once to adjust your small figure in a more comfortable position, "There we have it. You've grown quite a bit haven't you? Although, just not enough to outgrow this yet."

"And this," you included, grabbing him into an embrace, "Hehe, Papa you smell nice. You smell like...like grapes."

"It's my favourite fruit," He nuzzled closer in response. Diluc had spent a good amount of time with the brewers since early afternoon. Since grapes were an essential ingredient for making wine their scent must have rubbed off of him at some point. It wasn't the type of cologne he prefers but watching the sweet expression on your face as you pestered him like a cat indicated that you certainly did and suddenly, he thinks the outcome may not have been so bad, "Would you like to drink something, love? It's almost time for your dinner so we shouldn't be out here too long."

Puffing your cheeks, you shook your head immediately, "Not yet Papa. We haven't started anything yet- Ah! The crystalflies are gone..."

"It seems they have decided to call it for the night. Don't worry, they'll be back tomorrow morning," Diluc comforted in a soft voice, "What has gotten you so eager about crystalflies lately? We can always ask Adelinde to catch some for you to play with. That way, your clothes wouldn't have to get dirty in the process."

"But that would ruin everything," you protested, "Because I'm supposed to catch them with you!"

Startled by your declaration, he had to blink several times, "With me?"

"You're always so busy Papa...and you're always in that same room," you trailed off while fiddling the golden braids of his coat, "I-I don't know anything about wine but uncle Kaeya told me it's alot of work that a child like me doesn't have to worry about. So I thought if I did something fun, maybe you'll come out to spend time with me more often."

Oh.

Diluc drifts into contemplation, not sure on how to respond to your concern. Even before he had you, time was something he lacked and became one of the main reasons why his previous wife had left him. All that was left was your existence, the only person who was truly part of his family yet he couldn't spare you the emotions of feeling neglected while his own father ensured he never felt that way either. Guilt rises to his crimson eyes as he presses his lips together. Things changed since your grandfather passed away, including himself. It was the price to pay for choosing the path of being Mondstadt's vigilant hero that affect the relationships in his life.

But Diluc couldn't tell you anything, at least, not now when you were still so young.

"I see now. It wasn't my intention to make you feel this way, I'm sorry love," he began, "Just because I'm busy doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with you. Rather, I just...have something very important to do, that's all."

Unfazed, the child-like innocence held within your gaze, "Like what?"

"For our future and the future of this city," Diluc reaches up to brush away the hair from your face that was sprawled out by the minty breeze, "So that there will be a day where we can spend as much time as we want and a place for you to grow up safely. How does that sound?"

"Promise me?" you shyly requested.

He softens into a mellow smile and bumps his forehead against your smaller one, looking directly into your eyes before declaring his oath.

"I swear it."

Upon the surface, many people see Diluc Ragnvindr as an impenetrable shield in which he holds up with pride. Behind that shield was a side that only you could see. Your father had a heart with the depth of the abyss and a burning passion equivalent to the Vision he possesses. He was a loving man and he loved you the most. His child, a small part of him and someone he absolutely must protect.

One day he recieved an emergency announcement in the middle of a business meeting, saying that Elzer had something important to tell him. It was you. The night they found the windows to your bedrooms open but you were no where to be found. Diluc was furious at his staff for being so careless that even Adelinde flinched at the way he yelled. The last thing he said before stomping up the stairs was that each of them were getting one strike in their record for their tardiness.

But the person he was the most angry at was himself. Was this his punishment for leaving your side too often? Did you suddenly grow tired of this behavour of his that you decided to run away? Diluc knew he was fortunate enough to have Crepus as his father and he knew it was unfair how you wouldn't be able to experience it through him. He clutches on the stuffed toy you would hug to sleep if you were still here, feeling like a failure that he was unable to keep his promise.

No. He will keep his promise. He has to.

While working on his late night shift at Angel's Share, one of his connections came in to inform him about the high possibility of you getting kidnapped. It was the Abyss Order, his biggest fear came true, they realized his identity and that you were indeed related to the Darknight Hero. This was a ploy to lure him in and exact their revenge they always wished to seize.

Through restless days and sleepless nights, he used every opportunity he had to search for your whereabouts. Diluc refuses to ask help from the knights for two main reasons, one being his secret and the other was their incompetence. What kind of father would place the care of their child in someone they can't trust? Seeing how much the odds were against him added the fact they had you to ransom however they intended to do, Diluc didn't have much of a choice.

And yet he decided to place his trust in someone he never thought he would trust again.

"I need your assistance."

The Cavalry Captain subconciously gripped upon the rim of his glass with an astonished look marring his features, the liquor once swirling now swished and stilled along with their shared silence which somehow became even more quieter. Diluc stiffly stands behind the bar, feeling the need to swallow his pride once more. It was the lack of response that bothered him since he was so used to Kaeya throwing in useless remarks just to get a rouse out of the situation.

"Ahaha," The Captain chuckles, as if amused by a humourous statement. Ten years have passed and he lived to see the day where his sworn brother would approach him so openly, "Well this is rather...unexpected. Of all the people you know, you chose to come to me."

"Don't flatter yourself, I still don't trust the likes of you," Diluc scoffs at a low tone, "The only reason why I considered you an option is because of (Y/n). I'm sure the Knights of Favonius are aware about the missing child."

"Ah yes, word spreads rather quickly within the walls of Mondstadt," he noted off-handedly while closely eyeing the liquor in his glass. Diluc knew how close you were to your uncle, he sometimes couldn't help feeling a little jealous at the carefree relationship he was unable to provide. But regardless, he was happy that you managed to get along with Kaeya, it even brought a sense of nostalgia through him. Hence it was also why Diluc could tell that his brother was certainly lying through his teeth.

"Or perhaps you've done something to aquire this information," he adds discreetly, "Am I mistaken Captain Kaeya?"

He could hear him smirk, completely defeated the Captain gives in, "Not at all, you're well informed as always Master Diluc."

Two sides of the same coin, brothers who were in seperation with an abandoned past must work together under a common goal. To Kaeya, you were also someone he considered family. There were many incidents where Diluc tried to keep him out of your way to prevent bad influence but you freely chose to stay in the captain's company. Even if there was nothing he could do to earn back the relationship he had with Diluc in the past, including this, he absolutely could not allow your well-being to be endangered.

They travel deep into the domain and thought it was best to split up to cover more ground. Kaeya was the one who did most of the decision making after seeing how irrational his brother had become. Diluc pushes forward upon full force, any Abyss mages who appeared in front of him were struck down with a powerful blow from his claymore as he channeled in his anger. Revenge, fury, all of it, the pain wasn't enough of a punishment either.

"(Y/n)?! (Y/n)?!" He calls for you every moment, breath ragged from adrenaline or panic, he didn't know. Most likely it was both at the same time.

The entire cave was a dark place, he could only imagine how alone and scared you must have been. Are you concious? Were you able to eat? Or drink? He remembered the time when he offered you grape juice after watching crystal flies on the first day of spring. That day will surely happen again, he swears it will, but there was an ugly voice inside his head that considere the possibility where you might already have been dea-

"Papa..."

With speed he didn't know he had, your father rushed towards where you may be. It was only above a whisper and barely could match the sound of his heart racing but he will never forget the voice you used to call him, your first word right after the first time you learned to walk, he only hoped that it wouldn't be your last.

Red. It was all that he sees. The colour streamed from your head down to your chin as you were laying on your side, struggling to keep your eyes open. It was the emotion that roars inside of him when he sees an Abyss mage surrounding you with their staffs held high. It was his desire to see the world burn for being so cruel.

He swoops you up into his arms while creating a distance between him and his enemy. The grim stare was evident when you could make shape of the eyebags forming from the shadows of his bangs. While safely cradled in your father's warm loving touch, you could feel him trembling.

Thank achons, you were still breathing. He came just in time. Diluc held you close to his chest, reveling in your warmth, trying to convince himself that this was real.

Once Kaeya arrived, Diluc handed you gently over to his brother's watch. A silent gesture and exchange but the Cavalry Captain was experienced in reading people's emotions through their eyes.

I'm counting on you.

Your father didn't tell you what happened after your uncle took you out of that scary place. The Abyss mages said many bad things about Diluc, that he was a bad man who murdered their people. You couldn't understand what they were saying and no one seemed to want to explain it any further.

The whole time you were asleep in your bed, recovering your injuries, Diluc stayed by your side. Sleepless nights once again, woken by the fact that if he were a second too late, the Abyss mage would have lowered their staff and taken you out of his life, this world, gone, forever. Now he's paranoid if you would wake up to see the next sunrise.

He grew extremely overprotective ever since. Demanding to have guards (not from the Knights of Favonius) to be around you 24/7. His determinations to rid of the Abyss Order had only been fueled, second chances are not plenty and thirds are impossible. If the gods have given him a second chance to allow him to keep one piece of good in his life, then he will gladly see it through the end.

{Childe}

Opening his eyes, Childe wakes up to see the sunrays filtering through the tree branches while feeling the grass poking against his skin.

Where on Teyvat am I?

Pushing up to a sitting position, he blankly glaces around the valley that had expanded before him. As he continued his duties outside the snowy grasp of Snezhnaya, Childe learned to appreciate warm climates such as this. The air reminded him of Mondstadt just by the way it rushes past his ears similar to a bard's ballad despite only hearing stories about the city of freedom. However he observes the trees to realize that they look identical to the ones he came across in Liyue yet there were no mountains in sight. Strange, two distinct places sharing distinct characteristics, it would be difficult to decipher where he was located.

"Daddy you're awake! It's about time, you have noooo idea how long I've been waiting here."

Childe instinctively crawls backwards when startled by your voice. For situations like these he would immediately summon his hydro blades unless the opponent he was facing against were children. In this case, it was. You stood in front of him with both hands fisting your hips and a perplexed look on your face, glaring at your Dad for having such a reaction at your greeting, "Heeey why did you do that? Don't tell me you were scared."

He could hardly believe who was manifesting before his sight. Acting as if he hasn't seen you in months. Why? What was going on? The more he tried to make sense of his thoughts, the more cluttered they became. Even the most recent memory he had was quickly burried under the weight.

"Hmph! Are you going to say anything?"

But you were here. And that's all it matters, right?

"Heh, you're gonna have to do more than that to scare me, come here sweetheart," Childe pulls you into his arms and glomps you tightly, "There, feeling all better now?"

"Woah! Daddy, I'm eight years old, I-I don't need hugs," you protested but he knew just as well that the answer was the opposite.

"You think so? Well then, how about this," suddenly your dad sprung to his feet and lifted you into the air, spinning around over and over as the wind began to catch up, "Hold on tight, hahahahah!"

"Faster faster!" There was no greater joy than the sound of your ringing laughter in his ears.

From one activity to the next, several hours passed but the sun does not set. The world was an endless field of grass and empty greenery as if you and your dad were the only ones to rule it all. It wasn't easy to raise you as a single parent, Childe struggled between the lifestyle of being your dad and a Fatui Harbinger since having you find out of what he was truly doing at 'work' was the last thing he wanted. Just like how he treated Teucer when he was your current age, Childe told many stories about travelling the world and selling toys. Although it was only a matter of time that Teucer found out what his brother was really up to once hitting his adulthood, the truth disappointed him greatly but understoond that Childe had good intentions. So naturally, they both did not have the heart to tell you when seeing the bright naivety sparkling in your eyes when hearing stories about the world through their mouths.

Eventually you stumble upon a lake and called over your dad to go fishing. Whenever he paid any visits after a week of being away to 'sell toys', Childe would bring you to the freezing pong outside your house to go icefishing. It was said that the creatures that dwelled beneath the surface were much larger and heavier so often times if you were to catch something, he had to help you pull them out of the water otherwise you'd fall in too. At least, that was what he thought. You were stronger than what your figure deemed you to look like, Childe wonders if you got it from his genes.

"Daddy, can I tell you something?"

Your dad turns his head slightly and smiles, "What is it sweetheart?"

"One day I want to travel around the world."

A brief pause, though he knew he shouldn't be surprised, "Well don't you have big dreams. Must've been those stories I told you about."

"Mhm!" you nodded happily, "You travel all around the world to sell toys dont you, Daddy? I want to see what the world looks like too. Can I? Please?"

"Of course you can. Though, I prefer that you slow down a bit," he chuckles and presses his hand on top of your head, a hit of solemnity in his gaze. Kids, they always want to grow up so fast, "Once you're older that is. For now, focus on catching your fish."

"I wiil. I'll catch the biggest fish and prove to you that I can be just as strong!"

The fog gathers in misty hue as they rose from the lake, gathering around your small form. Childe widens his stare in pure shock, darting his head to each side when the world didn't stop morphing. He tried to grab you but his body stayed still. He called your name but no sound came out. The only thing he was able to do was watch you helplessly as you faded into the distance in front of him.

"So you better not fall behind. I'll be waiting for you."

Daddy.

Childe wakes up in cold sweat, his hands clawing hard against the wooden desk with papers scattered across them. He burries his head in his hands and laughs, it was just a dream. No wonder.

A week had passed ever since recieving a letterfrom one of the treasure hoarder's boss, revenge they said, Childe often targeted them to satisfy his own bloodlust so they thought it was about time that they called it even. He couldn't decide feeling either fury, pity or just humoured by the actions of his foes. Who in their right mind would challenge a Fatui Harbinger using such low-born threats?

Childe glances at the picture of you on his desk. You were beaming in the the middle as his other siblings surrounded you in the family photo, he had several pictures of you on his desk but this one in particular was his favourite. If those treasure hoarders thought about laying a finger on your skin, let alone, hairstrand, oh just imagine all the things he could do in return. Multiplied.

Perhaps he would start with the fingers, breaking them one by one, slowly as everyone else watched and agonized for their turn. Or he could open their mouths and drop a bomb into their throats before gagging them completely. Ah but he couldn't neglect the sheer thrill of summoning his to graze against flesh- possibilities, so many of them. However his fantisies are only a waste of time, what matters was if those fantisies would become real.

When there was no result in his search, Childe would take out his frustration upon hilichurls roaming nearby and come back soaked in blood. The thought of his kid getting taken away drives him feral that even his underlings were afraid to approach him sometimes, feeling as if they would be the next target for his rage if they weren't too careful.

But at night he would just break down. From all the stress and fear. Family was everything to him. What if he couldn't save you in time? What if you were already dead, injured beyond repair and they had you rotting away somewhere in the gutter? The look of his usual bright child and always full of vigorous energy now pale and grey, scared and alone with no one to give them hope because he failed to protect your dreams. The thought causes his head to ache after a good night of silent tears, if you were alive he would come and save you. If you were dead, he'd still come to give hell to those who hurt you. Either way Childe was not going to stop.

And the fateful day when Ekaterina barges in after she recieved another letter regarding to your whereabouts. Childe stands up and takes his leave, they gave him only one condition that is to ensure your safety, he must go alone.

Nothing irritated the harbinger more than being in a situation where he was completely powerless. It felt as if he stood in a maze with eyes observing him outside of the box, trying to see how their mouse would escape the puzzle they trapped him to be in. Childe felt the tips of his fingers twitching with anticipation when he came eye to eye with the treasure hoarders, ready to summon his hydroblades and end it all using one swift blow to the head.

But he forced himself to hold back, reminding that you were still somewhere in this building, alive. Yes you were surely still alive as they have promised.

"I got the mora," he declared unmanneringly, tossing the mora pouch to their feet, "Now where's (Y/n)?"

The person who seemed to be the one in command waves a hand over their shoulders and signals his henchmen to open the crate. They pulled you out harshly by the arm while having your hands tied together at your front. Childe instantly takes a step forward upon seeing you after so long, you looked so scared right now and he knew it well, just by your eyes.

"I'd stay where you are pretty boy," a treasure hoarder brings his blade dangerously close to your face, "Unless you want them to get hurt."

"Is that so, how uncunning for you treasure hoarders to result in using these lowly tactics," he remarks, but the hints of agression was apparent in his voice and was enough to tell you that something was wrong, "If you were to harm (Y/n), let's just say you won't have to worry about running from your crimes anymores because I'll be here to take care of it. Permanently."

You've never seen your dad's expression turn so dark before, the shadow casting over the side of his face and the soft smile you known so well, doesn't reach his gaze. He was almost unrecognizable.

"Daddy what's going on?" trembling, you called over to him, "Why are these bad people doing this? I don't understand..."

"Sweetheart, don't worry. Let me handle this," your dad consoles, "It'll only take a minute. I promise so just relax, okay?"

Although the request was hard to comply, you nodded quietly. Childe has always kept his promises with you and there was no doubt that he will keep this one. However, those who challenged a harbinger knew what they were up against. Only foolish criminals would underestimate their opponents and having come this far, they weren't willing to give up their chances so easily.

Once catching the possible intention behind Childe's words, their boss grins sadistically, "Oh it'll take a minute alright," and raises his blade into the air before coming in contact with your skin.

As you fell to the floor, he fell too.

So much blood was spilt that day. Childe doesn't remember screaming, he doesn't remember summoning his element before going into his foul legacy form and massacring the entirety of those who reside in it. All he could think of was your well-being, with every slash towards his opponents, the image of your lively face came into his mind. There was no reason for him to show any mercy.

Childe's whole body was so stained after the fact that he was thankful you weren't concious to see it. After the final treasure was taken care of, he drags his feet to your side and drops down beside you. One of the many reasons why he kept his real life out of your reach was because he knew you were always a curious person. That if you had known, you'd willingly follow him through Teyvat just to see what he was up to, eventually leading to this. Most parents give up something in their lives for their families and also to keep their families safe. He was aware how it was a selfish act to pursue the militaristic life for the sake of adventure and entertainment ever since having you, and this was the result of his actions.

"It's okay now, they can't hurt you anymore," Childe says in a hush manner as he pulls you close towards him. You were still breathing, thank archons, "I always knew you were a strong person, sweetheart."

It was faint but you could recongize the sound of your dad in the stranger's body. He has yet to show you his Foul Legacy transformation but through the way you were held, this stranger was without a doubt, the same dad you've always know.

After bring you safely home into your room, you spent your days unconcious while recovering your injuries. The doctor says that because the environment was so contaminated and that you weren't given proper nutrients, you were hit by a fever as well. Of course Childe didn't stop there. He had alot of connections through the Fatui organization and the fortune to accomodate it, every week a new doctor would come in since the previous ones couldn't do their jobs rights. Ekaterina felt the need to criticize him for making very spontaneous decisions but she didn't want to anger the Harbinger, thus she remained to keep silent.

Childe brings back new items he buys from Liyue merchants and places them at your bedside. He felt like this was the only few things he could do for now, to keep you happy and the happier you are the sooner you'll feel better right?

"Do you think I can travel the world?"

He remembers those words you said in his dreams but as he closes his eyes once more, the memories dating back to the day when you were kidnapped made him hesitant to answer that. Childe secretly hopes that you wouldn't indulge in those visions any time soon.

[rinstars]

hey is everything alright??? you kinds disappeared on us. hope everything’s okay

hiiii everyone! everything's fine. now. at the very least, everything is starting to be okay. i'm sorry i disappeared for a while without saying anything or giving u guys updates about why and if i was ever coming back. there's probably a lot of questions you guys have so ill just break it down in a single post, making it easier for u guys to find what you wanna know.

1. what happened and where were u?

thing is, the last time i was here i mentioned something about being sick and that was originally the only time i needed off. i was just waiting to get better and it wasn't supposed to stretch into a month. however, a very unfortunate incident happened where i had to be hospitalized and monitored as i sustained an injury to my already very weak knee. growing up, my right knee has always been very prone to dislocation but it wasnt too serious to the point that i could still join cheerleading and excel in it. it wasnt until i was doing a dance required for one of my classes and my knees knocked and snapped that i fell so hard crying when i realized this time it was.. bad. i had a surgery that wasn't anything too crazy and got put in a cast until i was fully recovered bc simply popping it back to place like they always did stopped working. that, too, was fine. but finding out i'd have to take it easy on dancing and possibly cut off anything that has to do with the hardcore dancing i was used to for the rest of my life to make sure it wouldn't get any worse than it already was literally depressed me and put me in a slump and i just didn't want to answer anyone and tell people all about it yet. especially not on tumblr where i know people were waiting for something ive promised to finish. i was just very out of it and wasn't sure if i was even in the right mindset to ever continue being here at the time. so there's that but now that im able to tell u all about it, it means it's gotten a lot better and u dont have to worry about my knee bc it's healing fine :") im very thankful for all the messages and i read and appreciated all of them. im sorry it took me so long to respond.

2. what's gonna happen to cfm?

the very short answer to this is im not abandoning it and will continue writing the remaining 3 parts! dont worry! you can rest easy. however, ill take this in my own pace. ill work hard to post it in 2 weeks time but it's not a promise and i'm still wrapping my head around my whole knee thing and the start of my semester. but i love the series and it means a lot to me. i want to see it finished probably more than any of u do that's why you can count on the ending that will surely come. i know ive gone so long without updating and idek if any of u will still be reading it when i post it in a few weeks! but it's a risk im willing to take because we're so close to the end! and i am so excited for all of u to see how suna and yn end up living after where i left act x on hehehe

3. im not leaving and im sorry

i feel really horrible leaving u all in the dark for like more than a month now i think. that was a dick move. if an author i follow suddenly disappeared after what happened in act x i wouldve been mad and worried too so im really sorry. i didn't want to ignore any of u. i was just in a place where i didn't feel like moving. thank u to everyone who has been very understanding with me despite not knowing what was happening. to my friends on discord that i wasn't replying to, to all my followers and readers, to everyone who reached out to my friends hoping to know if im doing well, thank u sooo much and i love and appreciate u all so much.

im sorry this got so long but i hope i answered everything! if i missed anything, please just send me more asks, ill be happy to answer them hehe. love u!

[a-dragons-journal]

i dont "kin for fun" but through tiktok i found out about the whole kin for fun vs actual otherkin... situation ig? im having a really hard time taking it seriously... maybe im just burnt out and bitter from dealing with the worlds current events, and maybe its because on tiktok the only people i saw mad about it were white people, but you're the most reasonable person ive seen talking about it (a lot of other posts have this odd tone that 12 year olds on tiktok saying kin is the worlds greatest opression and it weirds me out) so ig my question is just... why exactly does this matter? why does it matter enough to post about and care about and not just ignore? /gen

Hey! I don’t blame you for being a bit weirded out by it, we’re a weird subculture and we’re well aware of it! xD I appreciate you taking the time to actually look into it past your first knee-jerk reaction, especially considering burnout and the state of things.

I’m not totally sure if you’re asking why otherkinity matters or why the “kin for fun” being wrong matters, so I’ll answer both - they’re pretty well tied together anyway.

The short version:

Otherkinity is an identity. It’s who we are, we can’t choose to pick it up or put it down, and it comes with struggles - though no, ‘kin are not systematically oppressed (though we are pretty badly bullied and, at this point, pushed out of our own words and spaces).

What people calling roleplay/relating to/projecting onto characters “kinning for fun” does is steal our words, make them meaningless, and in doing so, make it difficult or impossible for us to find each other. If someone says “I kin [x],” I no longer know whether they mean “I am [x] on an intrinsic level” or “haha I relate to this character a lot”. I no longer know whether they actually share my experiences or if they’re going to turn on me and call me “crazy” as soon as they realize I’m not exaggerating or joking or roleplaying. It’s done massive harm to the community as a whole because it’s become difficult to tell whether someone is actually ‘kin or if they’ve misunderstood the whole thing - and because antikin rhetoric, which I’m seeing more and more in KFF spaces, hurts far more when it’s coming from inside what you thought was a community space than when it’s coming from self-labeled “antikin.”

There are other words for roleplaying and relating to and projecting onto characters. Hell, there are words for strongly identifying with-but-not-as characters/things, though usually KFF people don’t even seem serious enough for those to fit in my experience. I’m really not sure why these people are so determined to steal and misuse our words, words that were specifically created to mean something else, when they already have their own and are just refusing to use them. (Or, hell, if you don’t feel like those fit, make your own. We did. It’s your turn to put in the work. (General you, not you-the-anon, of course.))

An analogy, if that still doesn’t quite land for you:

Consider, for a moment, the transgender community. I am aware this is a dangerous thing to say, but bear with me. Obvious CW for hypothetical transphobia up ahead is obvious.

Consider if you were part of the trans community (I don’t know if you are or not), having finally found a word to explain why you feel the way you do about yourself, why your experiences don’t seem to match up with those of everyone else around you. Having found a community, a home, full of other people like you, people you never would have met if not for words like “transgender” and “gender dysphoria/euphoria” that were created specifically to describe your experiences.

Now consider if people suddenly stumbled across your community for the first time who were not trans themselves. They see community jokes and lighthearted posts out of context, because Tumblr and Twitter aren’t exactly conducive to making sure people find the Transgender 101 information posts first. They don’t bother to do further research, assuming they understand: ah, these people like to crossdress! They like to pretend they’re a different gender! This seems like a fun hobby, I want in!

They begin to post things like this. They post photos of them crossdressing and caption them “hi, I’m [name], and I trans men!” and things of the like. Suddenly the concept of “transing for fun” seems to be everywhere - and it’s not at all what being trans actually is, but these people either don’t know or don’t care. When actual trans people try to politely correct them, they’re accused of “gatekeeping” - and to be clear, this is not “nonbinary people aren’t real,” it’s “transgender means you identify as a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth, and you’re self-identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% and telling us this is just a fun hobby for you, therefore you’re not trans, you’re crossdressing or doing drag or being GNC. That’s fine, but it’s not being trans - you have other words to describe that, use those.”

(Yes, I am aware these things have a history with the trans community - please just ignore that for the sake of the analogy and bear with me on the slightly simplified version of this. “Kinning for fun” does not have that same history with the otherkin community.)

...And then the response to those attempted corrections, in some corners, turns into “wait, you ACTUALLY think you’re another gender? idk that sounds pretty unhealthy, maybe you should see a psychologist or something :\” and “you’re taking this too seriously.”

I imagine, in this hypothetical scenario, you’d also be pretty fuckin peeved.

(Obviously, in this hypothetical scenario, systematic transphobia would be an issue as well, which isn’t the case for otherkin - again, you’re gonna have to bear with me on the simplification for sake of analogy there.)

(EDIT: this is not an anti-MOGAI/exclusionist argument, this is “you’re literally telling me you don’t fit the definition,” explanation on that here)

The long version, which is probably still worth reading if you have the time and energy:

Otherkinity is... pretty core to who I am, who we as a group of individuals are. We live with being otherkin on a daily basis. Many of us spent a long time feeling different and disconnected and not understanding why until we found the otherkin community. Even people like me, who don’t share that experience and still had social connection - I’ve still had to live with weird differences that I had to learn to mask when necessary; instincts that don’t line up with human society well, feeling body parts that weren’t there and that no one else ever seemed to have, things that other kids grew out of because it was just make-believe for them and I... didn’t, because it was never make-believe for me to begin with. Oh, sure, I played make-believe too - I played warrior cats and house and all those things with the other kids, but there were things that weren’t play-pretend for me too. I didn’t have an explanation for it for a long time - it was just how I was, I was weird, and fortunately for me personally I was okay with that (many of those with species dysphoria or more trouble connecting with humans have more problems from that than I did).

And then I found the word “otherkin.” And suddenly everything fell into place, and I had an explanation for the things I’d been experiencing, and there were other people like me. Something I’d assumed didn’t exist. I found others who shared my unique experiences, who were talking about how to cope with the instinct to growl or snap jaws at people instead of expressing annoyance in a human way instead of just saying “that’s weird, don’t do that”, who were talking about dealing with phantom wings and tails, who understood me. I wasn’t weird, I wasn’t broken, I was exactly what one would expect from a dragon living in human skin. I found an explanation for myself. I found a home.

That is why otherkinity matters - it is who we are, it’s not something we can walk away from (certainly not most of us, anyway), and it’s something many of us need the support of the community to help deal with on a daily basis. Being a nonhuman in human society isn’t always easy, but it’s not something we can just magically stop being - it’s core to who we are, we (generally) didn’t choose to be this way, and we (generally) can’t choose to stop. Which is fine - the vast majority of us can cope with it just fine, with a little advice and help and space to be our authentic selves in. We found each other, we built this community from the ground up to make a space and words to make finding each other easier - or possible at all.

Thus we come to the second half of our story.

It was only a couple of years ago that the “kin for fun” trend started getting big. It had existed before that, of course, but it only started going mainstream two, maybe three years ago, from what I can tell. Suddenly people were treating “kin” like it meant relating to, projecting onto, roleplaying as, or just really really liking a character or thing - not being that thing, which is what it actually means. Not long after that, it became hard to tell whether someone saying “I kin this” meant they were that thing, that they were actually part of our community - or that they really really liked that thing and either didn’t know or couldn’t be bothered to learn that that wasn’t the case for us.

Not long after that, it became relatively commonplace to hear phrases like “otherkin are ruining kinning!!” and “you’re taking this too seriously” and “idk, if it’s that serious for you that sounds unhealthy. maybe you should get some help :\” (all directly quoted, or as exactly quoted as I can remember, from things KFF people have said to me or people I know).

It is a special kind of hell, I think, to be told “you’re taking this too seriously, that’s unhealthy” by people who are taking words created to describe your experiences, not theirs, and misusing them to mean something that you do for fun on a weekend instead of something that’s intrinsic to your being.

Perhaps more importantly, like I’ve said, it’s making it almost impossible to know whether someone who says “I kin [x]” is actually ‘kin or if they’re misusing our words to mean something else entirely. The entire point of words is to communicate ideas, and once you start misusing words to mean something totally different than what they actually mean, that communication falls apart and suddenly we might as well not have those words at all. Especially when the community is small enough and obscure enough that we’re starting to be outnumbered by the misinformation. We’re being run out of our own words, words we created to describe our experiences specifically - because we’re a small community that the wider internet can easily drown out by sheer numbers of people who either don’t know any better or don’t care to learn.

That’s the harm it does - the harm it is doing, right now. That’s why it’s important enough to post about. That’s why it matters - because we’re fighting desperately to hang onto our own words so that others like us can actually find us. Because we’re seeing young nonhumans go “this isn’t a kin, I actually am this” and screaming “No, I’m so sorry that this is what the misinformation has done to you, that’s exactly what otherkin means, you have a place here, please don’t let these non-’kin misusing our words drive you away from the very community you’re looking for and that you belong in.” Because we can’t even communicate effectively about our own experiences anymore except in semi-closed spaces like Discord servers and forums (and the number of Discord servers overrun with KFF people is absurd).

......This got very long. Hopefully it at least explained why it matters so much to me and others a bit better ^^; Thanks for hearing me out, and thank you again for looking into this beyond your initial knee-jerk reaction - I really do appreciate it.

(For further reading, if that text wall didn’t blow you out of the water completely, I recommend my “kin for fun” tag, which has more posts like this in both short and long form.)

[planetdemon]

I just wanted to be a swan

pairing: bang chan x reader

genre: angst, fluff, but mostly angst

warnings: low self-esteem, body hate/dislike, eating disorders, swearing, food, insecurities, arguing DONT READ IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH IT!

wc: 2.003

note: so this scenario has been going through my head for quite a while now, and I tried writing it by myself lol. Hope it's good ;) I've also sent a request to @channienet about the same topic, so make sure to check her interpretation out as well! enjoy!

summary: Due to Chan's heavy working schedule, spending time alone was a thing you couldn't quite befriend with, especially after you've noticed some changes you have gone through. There is a to change it, but it isn't quite... let's say healthy. How will Chan react, after he finds out? Will he even care? (dude I'm shit at writing summary lol)

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Taking a bath was normally something that should be considered relaxing or calming. You've always enjoyed letting the hot water surround your body whilst taking all the dirt and negativity off that you have collected during stressful days at work.

But lately, taking a bath wasn't as enjoyable anymore as it once was. Chris has been working a lot lately, due to the kingdom stage and their nearing comeback. He has been spending more and more time at the company, working on producing new tracks for him and the kids, often staying at the dorms because they were closer to the studio than the apartment you shared. So you were left alone, by yourself.

Even though you wished he would be by your side while you were falling asleep, you couldn't be mad at him. You knew what his work meant to that boy and you would never tell him to stop doing what he loves just so you could spend some time together.

But being alone also meant that you had to kill the boredom somehow and, thanks to Felix's Brownie and Cookie recipes, you had the perfect thing to do in the meantime. Baking and eating delicious desserts.

You were just stepping out of the bathtub, grabbing the towel you had prepared, and drying yourself with it. Once your body was half-dried, you turned around to hang the towel back at the hanger, so it could dry properly.

And at that moment, you knew, you've fucked up. You couldn't avoid looking at your wet, naked body in the hot, steamy mirror near the hangers.

You always hated looking at it, but thanks to the sweets you had been eating lately, looking at yourself only made you feel sicker than it ever did.

You couldn't tear your gaze off the excess of flesh around your tummy and thighs and the stretch marks, that decored your boobs only seemed to scream "Look at me!". You slowly turned around and saw the tiger stripes creeping up your bum and the undersides of your arms.

'Fucking disgusting', that little voice in your head sneered.

'How could I let this come this far?', you thought. At this point, you were somehow happy Chris wasn't here, knowing he would be disgusted with how you've changed.

You've always felt a bit insecure by his side, knowing you could catch up with neither his attractiveness nor his muscular godlike body. But seeing yourself like this destroyed every little self-esteem you had left in your cells.

-

It has been nearly two months since 'the incident' in the bathroom and you couldn't shake that feeling of disgusts off. Not even for one second.

You only wanted to try a one-week detox diet that was blowing up all over social media, hoping you could lose a little bit of weight, so you would be back to normal. But seeing the numbers on the scale dropping so unbelievably quickly only made you realize that you could look even better than you thought you could.

You kept on following the diet and restricting everything that wasn't included, not noticing that restricting also damaged your mind.

One time, Han and Felix asked you if you wanted to have lunch with them and the others, but fear crept up you back as soon as you thought about the food they would have ordered, knowing that you would only gain weight again if you didn't follow the rules.

So you stayed home, keeping yourself isolated from your friends and most importantly, Chan.

You were lying on my bed, scrolling through Tumblr when Chris' Caller ID showed up and your phone started to ring. You sighed lowly, not wanting to talk to him.

Over the past few months, you stopped showing up at the studio, being afraid the boys would notice the changes your body went through, thanks to the diet. You were happy about it, knowing that you were losing weight, but you haven't reached my goal. You were afraid, they would judge you the way you did when you looked at yourself.

"Chris?"

"y/n? Han just told me that you weren't coming over. Are you okay? Y-" Chris's muffled voice appeared and you felt instant regret deep in your guts, knowing how much fun you guys had when you spent time together back in the days.

"Yeah, I'm okay Channie, don't worry. I just feel a little sleepy. I'll come next time. Promise" You tried your best to sound optimistic or at least not too sad, hoping Chris would believe your lie. "Okay," he mumbled, "I love you, baby girl".

-

You knew you were in big troubled the second Chris opened the fridge, seeing no food in there.

He randomly decided to stay over the weekend, saying that he missed you. You weren't ready for this, knowing that you couldn't hide the signs of the 'passion' you had developed in time.

"Why is there no food?" You fumbled with the arms of Chris sweater you were wearing while looking at the ground. "I've forgotten to go grocery shopping" You answered.

"But there is nothing in there, y/n. Nothing" He walked over and took hold of your cold hands while looking you straight in the eyes.

"Why is there no food?" Chris asked again.

"I just told you I forgot to go grocery shopping, Chan. Relax" You snapped back, getting anxious about the fact that he could notice something.

You were nearing your goal, even though you knew that you could never be satisfied with how you looked. He couldn't just come over and ruin all the progress you've made after being not here for so long. He doesn't have the right to do this.

"Don't fuck around, y/n. You always have at least some butter in your house. Where is the butter? Where is Ramen? You must have some food here!"

Your body started to shake as you heard his voice rise, keeping your gaze low, not daring to look him in the eyes right now. He was right.

You always had something at home, so you could quickly cook something when you were hungry. But you didn't saw a point in keeping food at home if you wouldn't eat it anyway. It would just rot.

"Y/n look at me" he whispered, after realizing that you were trembling. Chris gently grabbed your chin to make you look up at him. You were expecting to see anger, but the only thing you saw in his brown orbs was sadness.

You started to tear up after you noticed it, knowing that he put one and one together. You missing out on lunch with the boys, you not showing up at the studio to bring him food and spend with him there, listening to his tracks, you not having any food at home. It was obvious, but you still hoped he wouldn't notice.

Chris slowly took you in his arms, noticing how your figure felt smaller and bonier than before. It made him sick, knowing what you did to yourself. 'Why would my girl do something like this?' he thought 'how could my little princess torture herself this much?' But he couldn't find a 'because'.

In his eyes, you were the best thing that happened to him. You were the prettiest girl on earth. Warm tears were running down his pale cheeks, dropping to the floor.

He couldn't stop blaming himself for what you did. Maybe if he would have been there, he could have stopped you. Maybe if-

"Channie?" You quietly asked, looking up at his tear-stained cheeks. "Channie why are you crying? We can go to the store and grab something if you want. You don't-"

"Why have you been doing this to yourself, y/n?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why haven't you been eating"

Well, shit.

"What are you talking about, Channie?"

"Don't fucking lie to me, it's too obvious for you to do so. Why haven't you been eating?"

"I... I, I'm pressured Chan" You answered, knowing that he wouldn't believe you if you would tell him otherwise. Telling him the truth was the only option at this point, even though you didn't want to.

"Pressured?"

"Yes"

"Princess, I don't understand what you mean by that"

You shook your head and let go of him, before walking over to the couch and sitting down with a low sigh. "Maybe you shouldn't understand," I said.

"Jesus, y/n" I heard him mutter under his breath. He walked over and sat on the floor, in front of you, looking at you with a scared expression.

"Please tell me what's in that pretty little head of yours. I can see that you have lost weight, but I don't understand why. I mean, you are the prettiest human I have ever seen in my whole life, why would you do something like that?"

"Why do you even care? It's not like you here anyway" you simply said, grabbing your phone, trying to ignore him.

After he noticed your intentions, he quickly took your phone out of your hands, placing it on the coffee table behind him.

"Hey! Give me my phone back, you dump a-"

"Fucking stop it, y/n. Stop ignoring me. I care for you because I love you! You are my everything and I know I haven't been home lately, but at least I tried making time for you and inviting you to the studio", he said, "but you never came! Don't act like it's only my fault we haven't seen each other."

You looked at him with wide eyes, shaking your head. He was right, it was also your fault. And you hated the fact that he was right. "I-"

"Please y/n, please stop turning away from me and closing up. I-I know it's not easy to open up, but I'm here for you. I'll always be."

"Well, I... I couldn't, no, I can't feel happy when I look like this, Channie. I mean, look at you, look at your perfect body and your perfect personality and your perfect everything! I don't fit in. I don't fit in, because I am the ugly duck surrounded by beautiful swans. I just... wanted to be a beautiful swan, Channie."

That's it. You've made it. You've told him what was going through your mind all the time.

He slowly pulled you off the couch, into his lap. He could feel your seat humps against his thighs, how bony and strong they were. Chris shook his head in disbelieve, another wave of sadness crushing over him.

"You are perfect, baby girl. You are perfect in every single way. You always were the most beautiful swan I have ever seen in my entire life. I love everything about you, y/n. I love how your thighs wiggle whenever you run towards me when we meet, I love how curves look in that dress I brought you a year ago, I love how your stretch marks are decorating your body like silverish paint. I don't want you to change for me, because you are perfect the way you are. Jesus, even Hyunjin said you are even prettier than himself, and that means a lot. Please don't hurt yourself like this, princess. You are destroying yourself"

He took hold of your hands and kissed your palm.

"I promise I'll stop working so much, so I can spend more time with my beautiful girlfriend, but please... stop hurting yourself" he whispered, searching for any signs of discomfort in your eyes. But you just set in his lap and listened to him.

"Hyunjin thinks I'm prettier than him?" you asked awkwardly.

Chris chuckled and nodded "Is this the only thing that got stuck in your pretty little head?" He asked.

You smiled a bit, leaning your forehead against his while closing your eyes. "I'll try to get better, Chris" you whispered.

It wouldn't be an easy journey going back to 'normal. Once the hole is there, digging is difficult. But it is possible, especially if someones helping you.

[keysimash]

Hiiiii making a new pinned post because I almost exclusively use tumblr on mobile

So first of all pro lifers go away I hate you I hate you I hate you

Ppl that love to police how queer people should express and label themselves you too shoo

You're probably here from my Ao3!! If not, oh boy, you're in for a treat! Oh god why did you read that dogshit??

My personal blog is lazydestinypaper not anymore! Now its simofabitch if you, for some reason, can't get enough of me here 💙

Okay now that's out of the way

I'm an adult! Minors pls dont interact with my nsfw stuff if ur parents get mad at me I can't afford a lawyer

Most artists r uncomfortable when ppl vent or say weird shit in their tags or inbox -- I dont care!!! Go for it!!! You wanna tag a chapter or drawing I made as #me when my father was absent from my life??? Sure go ahead I literally dont mind. I would be a hypocrite if I cared anyway because I'm literally coping by dumping everything on my comfort character <3 so dont be ashamed if it helps you. This is a safe space. Just keep in mind ppl can in fact see it so dont be, yanno. Saying stuff you dont want others to know about you or that would put u in danger. And this only applies to stuff I personally make don't do that on a random stranger i happen to reblog

I read everything you say to me even if I don't respond I love every thing and I mean it

If you hate my stuff leave your thoughts I would love to hear them this is not a joke I an 100% serious and I will not be angry about it

Magolor is my favorite character ever he is my comfort boy pathetic cringefail big wet eyed kitten catboy so dont be surprised when I never shut up about him

If you want me to hurry up on a work -- leave a comment!!! Getting comments like "please update" actually motivates me!!!! Kind of... Just keep in mind I am the EXCEPTION not the rule most writers hate when u ask them to update so. Dont. Also I have no update schedule it's literally based on mood and chance and motivation level

If you think something i wrote is weird /cringe/has a plot hole chances are I already know about it and hate it ten times more than you. Suck my cock about it

Don't be surprised when my posts are weird it says "cringe compilation" for a reason

If you really miss a work I've deleted I might consider giving you a copy if you message me

I might edit this later with my tags because I want to improve my tagging system but I think this is good for now

Edit 12/25/22: my tags are still a fuck!!! Fuck!!!

Edited 3/6/23 with new main blog url and other minor changes

[tenthgrove]

Anon sent me a very wonderful ask about Myriad Trickery last night but I don't want to spoil the story for anyone who hasn't read it, so I'm pasting the ask under cut along with my response.

hi my name is not important but what IS important is that you handcrafted Myriad Trickery and you are the finest argument of why i phucking love fanfic SOOOO much. you have crafted a storyline i never even thought about and put a Metric Ton of care into story structure, worldbuilding, and RELATIONSHIPS, (yes relationships, not just romance because y/n getting to know the squad is SO WELL ILLUSTRATED, like the progression is so delishus. especially with pros. oh to be someone named celeste with a shitty ex husband and smol kids you need to get back --- anyway) like. shit these last few chapters Hurt me. i would like. beat my own ass up for making my babies so sad. so mad. smad. but like, you gotta get your money tho. so shoutout to y/n and wanna know for doing what they have to do with their skillset. also can we talk about y/n l/n for a second?? making them a P.I.??? in-fucking-spired. doing The Absolute Most with 4 entire personas and using them to sink their fingers into hardened criminals and SUCCEEDING at making most of them catch feelings???? teach some classes please because i cant even do that with 1 person!!! (lets leave out the fact that y/n fell too because the squad is so fun to be around.) y/n being knowledgeable in stealth n subterfuge, AND armed with their wits to get as far as they did despite not being an indestructible tank??? we cant all be like jotaro so we make do babey, and thats part of why i love y/n so damn much. im too soft, im not a tank at all and i dont want to hurt anyone or make them sad (well unless they do it first) but i dont even care that the difference between me and y/n is the one with jupiter and phuckin earth. y/n is engaging asf and going thru their thoughts is a treat. like its not ME me, but the way you write them makes me feel like i understand them completely. so i have an easier time immersing myself without anything getting me out of that immersion. your writing????? has me on the edge of my seat. im even using my voice to say their lines!!! y/n and i…… we r kind of dumbasses tho but im a corporate slave 8/5……. still. i wanted to read the next chapter on ao3 so hard, i was legit sneaking peeks at my phone at work -- very risky because we got undercover unauthorized breaktime snitches --because i wanted to know all the juicy details of what was going down, and now i regret it because im finished with the chapters on ao3. i want to experience the story for the first time again but you can only experience something for the first time only once!!!!! im gonna reread my fave parts, which is everything with prosciutto because he is my absolute favorite. but like, im happy you're here on tumblr so i can send all this directly to you. you make me want to print Myriad Trickery out and have it bound so i can pull it off my shelf and read everything cover to cover, like a bedtime story. i dont have the words to thank you enough for the monumental effort you did to give us this story except for: thanks so much for giving Myriad Trickery to us for free. shit if i were a publisher i would want to give you a book deal but for now here is a big ole virtual kiss for you for imparting the greatest reader insert saga -- yes. a wholeass saga -- ive ever read.

Hello anon! Where to begin?! I cannot describe how much it means to me that there are people this invested in my silly little stories. I'm a person who writes more for comfort than actual writing merit but MT is one of the few stories where I really wanted to create something to be proud of on a literary front, and that's what makes it so hard but rewarding to write.

The good news is that I absolutely do want to continue the story. I started a planning document for the next chapter soon after the last and it's been empty until last night, when I finally got down a paragraph on how I want the next chapter to begin. My problem is that I wrote the initial plot entirely around the build up to the big twist reveal, and it's kinda hard to come down from that, but I do have a basic idea of what I want to happen.

I may just cut down the remaining plot to about 3 chapters, but no matter what form I do want to get something out.