#dont do that id kms | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

prodbyton · 4 months ago

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when i heard that anton sometimes googles his name i keep thinking if he sees the shit we say on tumblr 😭😭 it's so funny to me bc imagine like "anton would ____" blah blah and he's like "i would ??!?!?@*#?#*#&??????"

it reminds me how fricking delusional we are (i still will continue u to be bc why not)

youd have to like actively look up fanfic i think tho cuz it usually doesn’t come up in top searches but im sure he’s aware of fanfiction 😩 that woukd be so humiliating tho like omg… cuz ik if i was famous i would definitely read fanfic of myself LMFAOOO

#anton already knows me tho because im his gf so everything i post is accurate /j #thats like the main reason i wouldn’t face reveal on tumblr like #cuz i think im pretty and would do a face reveal fr BUT imagine my ults are on my page lurking… hell nawl #like imagine im at a riize concert and anton is like yo dont u write smut ab me #id have to kms right there 😭#toniiswrld 💌

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freakinator · 1 month ago

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i really need to give the lsers different hairstyles than v-shaped front bangs, long sidebangs, and short back of head hair considering half of them already have that hairstyle but unfortunately its fucks hard so.

#mine.txt #sorry to long-haired kab enjoyers but shes getting it all chopped off #its a major reason why i have trouble drawing her #like psychologically i mean #so i kinda have to if i wanna keep drawing her #yeah my brain just kinda decides what design traits certain chars Should have #and if i deviate from that id wanna kms everytime i draw then #dont ask me why i work like that i just do #worst part is i dont even know what the problem is right away #i have to figure that part on my own based on which part of the drawing process makes me feel like theres hooks in my brain

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brainrot-stitch · 5 months ago

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How 2 do well in school, which is starting soon, no glue no borax

#i think im smart. maybe. cuz my finals last uear were aparently AWESOME for some fucking reason #i was failing allll my classes tho #except like. gym. but the rest were legit all Fs #idk how i passed.....#im just godly #but fr ive gyat no motivation to do anything ever and honestly id rather kms than be there BUT i have a gf now and also the convergence ->#-> reboot hasnt come out so i cant die yet #ive lost most motivation for my hobbies at this point and now i gotta go back to that freakshow #SIGH #the ppl there are MEAN and some of the things they tey to teach us with suck ASS #PLEASE. IM SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT ENGLISH. IT USED TO BE MY BEST SUBJECT #😭😭😭😭😭#the thing we have to do stuff on tho SUCKS bc i can barely ever finish it in class cuz theres not enough time and i dont have the motivation #to do it at home so eventually i just stopped bothering with it #like i just stopped #honestly halfway through last year i just gave tf up in general 😭💀and they literally pulled me away and were like “r u ok....”#i dont remember where i was going with this #im eepy everything hurrts i dont wanna go back #i wanna be silly i wanna make straight As and Bs like when i was an little kid i want to make the ppl that care about me happy but.augh #vent post #I GUESS #mother get me tested + medicated challeng e level IMPOSSIBLE😭😭😭😭😭#ganvg im starting to think i may have smth besides the adhd.... hmmm.......

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superbellsubways · 10 months ago

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im gonna be honest gang ive been feeling more and more hopeless as of late and seeing everything thats going on both online and in the real world im just like. wow the misery never fucking ends!!!! we live in an actual hell world and its exhausting!! fuck

#I dont feel safe anywhere as a queer poc even around my family cuz ik if they knew about who i really was id probably be on the streets #im never going to feel safe i dont know what to do #and everyone constantly like to remind me of how useless i am i know i cant do anything ithink im just really sick of everything #can someone invent a way to not exist for a temporary amount of time please #i wanna kms without actually kms u get me #like damn. NOBODY wants me here #whatever ill be normal again tomorrow probably idk #we have no food here barely any money to survive i havent even eaten today ill just wait till something happens idk #who cares #nobody cares

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littencloud9 · 4 months ago

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i should drop out

#whyyyyy didddd iiii chooososee thisss LOFE #LIFE #god i cant WAIT for exams to be over i have so much i want to do but. the horrors #three more left… i spent all week on the one i have in. seven hours. AND I STILL HAVENT MEMORISED EVERYTHING #LIKE WHY IS THIS ACRUALLY IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!#and dont even get me statyed oncbhemistry k think id sooner kms #i cant do this anymore IM AN ACADEMIC VICTIM!!! LET ME OUT!!! n ABEJRBFMFNFLTNFNGM #ok bye

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jrueships · 4 months ago

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Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them

#i am not a sneakerhead #i wish i could be . finacially i can be. but mentally i cannot #i am not a car guy either. i could. but i cant mentally #bcs the only time id get smthing pretty is to look at it. and keep it safe #and then id want to km$ for not using smthing thats intended to be used bcs i hate wasted potential #once i got these rlly nice shoes #ive worn them once when i was trying them on #and i hate myself every day for doing that but also i just cant get them dirty #BUT I HATE THAT #some ppl can do that. they get a million things and only use it once and yea i COULD but psychologically i just CANT #im friends with a lot of sneakerheads and chain wearers and while i cant mentally make myself one #i can understand why they can #like ppl always wanna excuse not helping ppl by pointing at the stuff they already have #like oh u can buy urself a chain but cant buy ur momma and u a nicer place to live #like ok so credit scores are not existent then. especially when ppl use that phrase against ppl growing into crime like #yes they are making money now but is it good clean money? no. thats not gonna go into smthing long term n hefty like a house #chains are a rlly big thing bcs sometimes some jewelers just dont ask questions. hence bmf's jeweler getting roped into their crime schemes #any business can be like that btw. like michael jacksons doctor getting paid to kill him. the difficulty lvl just changes #and also. random ppl make fun of the stuff they can see or hear right in front of them #random ppl can and will make u feel bad abt any little thing they know or see the best bcs theyre assholes like that #u wear shoes all the time everywhere. thats more and more eyes noticing how old/dirty ur shoes are #or ur cars old n busted or ur phones a fucking android like it doesnt matter. the more ppl can see. the more theyll know #the more sensitive u get abt whats actually small to u at the start but big 2 them n then it gets big 2 u #anyways yea so like. i get it. i dont do it but i can see why others do #anyways yea these shoes are so ugly lol like i dont buy merch of my favs unless the style matches mine personally #he just liked them bcs they were giannis tbh n then i pointed out they were modeled after 1 of the jerseys #which made he rlly want them a while back so i surprised him today #but yea these things are ugly lol im glad he likes them but ew LMFAO

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meimeikyu · 2 months ago

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im being consumed by the fucking dread

#im a useless failure who cant even do simple fucking classwork im never gonna amount to #anything in life ive never actually planned a future bcs ive never thought id make it far enough #and honestly i still dont and even if i do pass n graduate highschool what do i do then?#go to uni get a job what is even the point either of those would destroy me #mentally n physically #im just not built to be a person. not built to last #i wanna cry #i dont. want to kms but i dont exactly wanna wake up tmr...#personal #vent #do not reblog #replies ok

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violentviolette · 1 year ago

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i struggle to talk about this sometimes cause i feel like i sound like an entitled and spoiled piece of shit, but i think these are real problems that happen when ur life stops being a dumpster fire and its important to talk about how to navigate them

because my life right now is extreamly stable. i have a home i dont have to worry about ever being evicted from, i dont have to work in order to affort to live, i have the time, space, freedom, and support to do absolutely anything i want right now

and yet i find myself doing absolutely nothing. im so used to using stress and external threats, the threat of starvation, homelessness, abuse, being kicked out or fired or flunking, to motivate me that now that those things are gone and im in a safe environment that asks nothing of me, im just at a loss. i struggle to even wake up everyday without some kind of big consiquence as a motivater

and even when i do have ideas or inspiration as to what i want to do with my now endless hours of the day, i just. dont really know how to execute them. i dont know how to do things if its not in a crunch time manic haze.

i think my big goal this year is going to be to try and figure out how to navigate that and retrain my brain to be able to set more long term objectives and then follow through on accomplishing them. because i can feel myself becoming a more flakey and unreliable person who gets nothing done and just kind of Exists with no real reason or purpose and i reallyreally hate that

i finally have a life i dont want to kill myself to escape from and i just feel like im wasting it by not actually being present in it, u know?

#jack.speaks #i feel like the last 3 years happened in a depressed haze where weeks went by like days and i just kinda floated thru them #i havent accomplished something i was really genuinely proud of in a reallyreally long time #i know getting fired and not working has really contributed to that #i always get more depressed when im unemployed #but normally id have been forced to get a shitty job that makes me want to kms to get by already #but i didnt have to do that this time and i dont wanna just do that just to have a job #i want to do something thats like #actually sustainable and long term for me #but im. so bad at long term goals

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itsalwaysdark · 19 days ago

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and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4

#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly #rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever #and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and #stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc #him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare #longingly at the floorplan i did #bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right #there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan #i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk #but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm #youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan #still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead #i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town #4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better #for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome #but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4 #me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive #which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with #them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between #me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from #work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the #power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a #good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her #deeply #her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell #bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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seeing info only about the kiryu and majima statuettes but absolute radio silence on the ichi one is utterly sending me. Theyre hiding the fact theyre gonna make ichi pale as a cracker again

#snap chats #theyre in the lab making a skin tone with melanin in it for once im SCREAMING #JUST LET ME SEE MY BOY PAINTED LET ME SEE HOW BAD THE DAMAGE IS #whether i spend $150 is entirely dependent on if ichi is pale or not and im so serious its why i didnt get his plushie #anyways i got hate crimed today i was getting lunch with my dumbass friend WHICH. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I DO #CAUSE WE JUST SIT IN DEAD SILENCE AND SHES TERRIBLE AT CONVERSATION RIGHT anyway.#we were getting lunch and her prof ask her like ‘oh are you on a date <3’ like prof i would rather kms !!!! then go on a date with this gir #literally my biggest fear i hope people dont think we’re dating id actually drop out #‘snap you make her sound awful’ because she is and i dont feel bad about bullying her anymore NO LISTEN #WE WERE PLAYING Y7 LAST NIGHT AND SHE BUTT DIALS HER FRIEND. LIKE A DUMBASS.#AND DEADASS ME AND HER FRIEND JUST TALK ON HER PHONE ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE SUCKS.. WHILE SHES SITTING RIGHT THERE.#i felt so validated cause everything he was complaining about id complain about like oohhhh my god i should meet him #hes the guy that called me that invincible character. and mystery man. i think i talked about this already wait—#ITS STILL FUNNY TO ME IDC ive never felt so seen in my life. why an i friends with this girl idk we’ll figure out one day #right now i want. ichi statue to be real and tanned #ok bye i have class soon

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hershey-not-the-chocolate-maybe · 1 year ago

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i have two moods :😔 crippling depression and anxiety making it hard to stay alive 😔

and ✨️pop icon in the bathroom✨️

#honestly i think im funny when i want to be with the people i want it to be #and honestly not many people get to see that side cuz it just takes away from this mysterious and quiet persona i have #but once i let u in baby the jokes never stopping #well they stop when im having an existential crisis but lets not count thay #actually i make jokes even when i feel like dying lmao #so um yeah #i wish i had friends whom i could make jokes with #but the problem is people dont understand my humor cuz they dont about the topic im talking about #but like here on tumblr say if i make jokes about some character people do get it #my fandoms dont match with otherss irl #actually most of my irl friends are not into any actual fandoms 💀#given i dont have many irl #people whom i actually talk to ? not more than 2-3 id say #i do have more friends but like i dont TALK talk with them iykwim #and tbh i dont really need too many friends im fine with what i have cuz thats amazing #more people u let in = higher chance of becoming toxic + more heartbreak + more energy drainage + start losing urself to please others +#more back bitching + bejng asked to give more explanation when u have ur kms times and u disappear for a while #and when u dont explain they get mad or u get tired and just cut them off #lmao im rambling all my problems in just one post oops

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widevibratobitch · 9 months ago

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no panic attack <3 no emotions whatsoever to be quite honest. oh well. nothing new.

#it could be literally anyone in that bed i dont feel anything #sad but true #and now one more trip to the cemetery :))))) istg when i die i dont want a grave. like at all.#id kms if people did whatever tf my mom is doing at that grave #i truly hate it here #maybe im being too much of a cold little bitch but like. my god. if the alternative is my mother then im perfectly fine like this thanks

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simonisferal · 6 months ago

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never watch 20th century girl.

#simon.talks #the fucking way I continuously SOBBED for eighteen minutes before my sister came over and told me to gts #like #id actually take a knife and kms with it than experience that movie irl #I would rather HATE scara wanderer Kabuki WHOEVER AND WHICHEVER than not cry thinking about it #(( spoilers !! ))#if I was bo-ra and I figured out that yeon-du liked woon instead of bauk id actually sob #LIKE WHAT??? I got heart problems too bitch I'll fist fight you for woon do NOT play with me /hj #(no offense to her but full offense)#I don't like joking about actual mental health but I would GENUINELY become depressed #my sister stopped me before the movie ended but she said woon DIED?? IS THAT TRUE #WAIT DONT TELL ME #if it is I'll kms

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beautifel · 1 year ago

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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately

#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level #for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her #still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions #Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later #jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this #not fair not fair at all this is evil #and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences #i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it #i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity #is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike #Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even #LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it #what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol #hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather #kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter #how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there #n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng #or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak #n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own #well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her

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homokeiju · 5 months ago

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seein the whole olympics gender scandal unfurl has been yet another extremely grating experience for the lil ol transsexual me. i cant even go to a swimming center w/out years of plannin n mfs talkin bout the unfair advantage i'd hve over the old aunties swimming laps twice a week in there. stfu

#if u wonder why i havent bloged bout that it's exactly cuz we started burying the oyhrr woman n digging up the other's genome while they're.#mostly just tryin to chill n do sports n live they life. fuckin weird n it creeps me out. im glad im not a public figure id kms live on tv #like i very rarely even reblog ANYONE'S face cuz i dont wanna play da game of makin sum1 more widely known it feels like invasion of privacy

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himejoshibutch · 5 months ago

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i need to vent so bad but i dont want to be a bother so i'll just rant in the tags. feel free to block me for no reason at all 👍

#GAAAAH I HOPE I DIE I CANT FO TJIS ANYMORE #never thought id be this stressed about college idk what should i study idk where should i study i feel like i need to kms #please i just want to study compsci why is everything so complicated i just need a fucking degree god please just let me have this #sighhhh i hope everything turns out well idc if it's a bad college as long as i get a degree #i can do everything else from my own i dont need to rely on colleges for that #BECAUSE FUCK THEM #i really need to stop freaking out but its so over guys im so fucked up rn

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