#dont ask why gordon has a black eye. he just does.

[airyesart]

eye of the storm

[tigerdrop]

dogboy gordon rutting against benreys leg in the same way that benrey did it in the reverse. benrey encouraging him and also making fun of him in the same breath. yummy brain thoughts. i am rotating this

jesus christ i started thinking about dogboy gordon and have not stopped thinking. theres 7k words of dogboy stuff under here im going insane

how in the. help. Help. dog boy. how does he become dogboy. i cant keep giving these idiots potions but i guess thats what ive been reduced to

gman turns him into a dog boy. walks thru a portal and comes out in nintendogs but hes the dog and when he comes back out again hes still a little bit dogy. this is fucking stupid

THE TAIL WAGGING im going to pass away

> i think he would have such fucking issues with the fact that his tail and ears are expressing his emotions so much

trying to act angry towards benrey but hes given away by his tail wagging like crazy......and he never even knows its happening until somebody points it out

it would be cool if. um. he got a little more into roughhousing and rough play afterward. you know. like a . hes already really handsy......physical. . .. .

> okay like the anger turning into somewhat-serious jostling and pushing which turns into roughhousing

its not even horny at first it just gives him the weirdest fucking endorphins. like. its fucking fun man

> and by the time theyre roughhousing his tail is wagging furiously and like thumping on the floor when he gets pinned haha

> YES its about the exhilaration ......he gets this rush from flipping benrey over after he's pinning him, baring his teeth triumphantly

benrey pinning him by his wrists and half-laughing at him like "what the fuck is wrong with you??" and the rest of the science team chimes in like YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS WHAT WAS THAT

> gordon comes back to himself and turns red immediately and splutters like "i dont know! what - im just - benrey started it!” so like he refuses to do it again but then benrey pushes his buttons and he gets in his face, ears pinned back a bit and shoves him and benreys like oh...so its this again huh...

GOD......PUSHING HIS BUTTONS.......its sooo much fun now that gordons so physically reactive too

> what if he manages to get an honest to god growl out of gordon at one point and it makes something ugly twist in benrey's gut and he wants to make it happen again

and its probably really gratifying for him to see just how often gordons tail wags when gordon looks at him or snorts at one of his jokes

TWO SIDES

> the duality of their relationship....gordons tail wagging just a bit when hes looking at benrey though im

> im thinking about the growling though like...benrey gets fixated on how he fucking sounds, all deep and rumbly and this intensity just focused on benrey only....makes him think about how that would look in other contexts....

> benrey riling him up while their roughousing so he can feel that growl travel through his chest and like...getting gordon to that point makes him SO determined to win the "fight" over benrey hes almost a bit out of his mind with it......pins benrey and subconsciously ruts against him a bit as a sign of dominance....please stop me now goodbye....

NO LITERALLY THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MOMENT I STARTED TYPING

prodding gordon further and further and riling him up until gordon pins him to the floor, hard, an arm jammed behind his back and his HEV suit jammed up against benreys ass and rutting subconsciously as gordon. h. gordon. clamps down on the back of his neck and growls

benrey sucks in a rattling gasp and is like "what? ow" in a weirdly shocked yet distanced way

he cant feel where gordons hard b/c of the HEV suit but he can feel the metal awkwardly bumping against his ass Like That. and inwardly benreys on a loop of "what the fuck what the fuck" but not in a bad way in the slightest. just utterly cannot believe this is whats happening, right now, gordon freeman dry humping his ass behind a bunch of crates, not 100 feet from the rest of the science team

> gordon snapping out of it and being like...what the fuck am i doing... or....maybe the gasp makes gordon bite down harder in response...not sure

> gordon not even realizing hes doing it until that moment is so great....i dont know but....maybe he lets go and pushes off benrey, panting and wild eyed, and the image of benrey on his stomach, his bite mark in his neck, is burned into his brain

> he just doesnt say fucking anything and just dips to get jacked off by the suit maybe.... cant stop thinking about how it felt to see benrey with his teeth marks....hates himself for feeling that sick satisfaction in his chest

benrey......touching the back of his neck afterwrds, kind of dream-like, both consciously and subconsciously.......

i like making gordon freeman suffer so i want him to just angrily try to rut against his arm in private later trying desperately to get off thru this stupid busted HEV suit that he cant get out of. pathetic. gordon freeman humping his own fucking arm in a bathroom stall. like a dog

and he thinks about how benrey smelled when he had his teeth clamped on the back of benreys neck, his nose buried right against benreys jaw and neck, smelling the sweat and the hormones and feeling benreys rapid heartbeat, and his whole fucking head throbs with how bad he wants to get off

> and he just cant get off....has to deal with going back the team tense and a bit sweaty and just move on when they ask what happened. benrey doesnt say anything just stares at him and gordon cant meet his eyes. gordon tries not to fucking let benrey get under his skin cause i think hes probably mad upset and embarassed that he reverted to his like,,,more base instincts because of BENREY of all people.....

> but he still thinks about it sometimes and....he tries to distance himself from him but hes still a pretty touchy guy and he find himself around benrey still....laughing at his jokes and getting in his space once in a while. always pulls himself away when he notices but not before he takes in a deep breath of benrey's scent...

> meanwhile benreys trying to think of how to make gordon do that shit again LOL

ohmy god. oh my god.....before this.....before he tries to stop getting in benreys business and before he even recognizes what hes doing.......he like.....hes so touchy feely that he subconsciously tries to mark benrey a lot. like just doing everything in his power to rub the inside of his wrists somewhere on him. even if its barely gonna do anything b/c of the suit. its just instinct

> NOW HE ...now he realizes that he was doing that the whole time..jesus,...

> AUGH....in the buildup before this he didnt realize that he was doing it........but now he realizes he fucking misses doing that shit and kind of berates himself for doing it in the first place....like what the fuck....be Normal gordon...you cant want to fuck him....do you..?

i want him to. grrgohg i dont even know how or why this would happen but i want gordon freeman to lie supine on the ground with his hands up like paws like hes a big pupy looking for tummy rubs OKAY! BYE. I HAVE TO GO. im going to fucking sob why am i like this why is this the cutest possible thing for a man to do. i cant even think of a fucking reason why he would do this so im so fucking embarrassed

i want to fucking. i want to rub his fucking tumy and make him pop a boner from it im literally so sick of this earth

> i was literally Just typing: i just think it would be cool . To pet his tummy and keep telling him "good boy" in a Certain kind of Tone that just totally fucks him up about it . maybe flushed and tongue starting to wanna hang out of his mouth as he goes from laying flat on his back to kinda twisted to one side, breathing heavy, tail thumping hard against the floor cause hes a big dog so that thing is like a lethal weapon

> petting the fuzzy lower belly while hes already hard & needy just to make him whine Very high pitched and desperate-sounding bc its so close to what he wants but that just makes it worse 8)

> What if. Benrey pinning Gordon, maybe scritches behind his ear, as a "joke", he's a dog haha good boy wants ear scritches?? And Gordon immediately squirming and whining. Maybe even kicking his leg just a little bit

> i think it would be cool for a post-black mesa puby gordon pinned benrey to the floor with his whole body weight and humped the life out of benrey's leg while panting and drooling in benrey's ear. a total lack of regard for benrey, (of course he's into it tho) just using him like an object that's conveniently there for him to furiously get off on

> i'm thinking.... this happening after a period of prolonged teasing, like you said. rubbing his tummy and ignoring his dick

> Man ok combined with the suit edging huh? I love that, but i also kinda want gordon to sneak off to get off and discover his uh. k. kn. knot

> he sneaks off and if in this situation he can.  idk. get at his dick in a bathroom or whatever. and well, he gets caught up so easily in his 'head empty' instincts mode that when he cums he's kneading that thang for like 2 minutes before he even becomes cognizant enough to notice. and then immediately panic. so idk maybe he cant get at himself for a while, right, so he didnt notice this

> i just think gordon being in the suit would not let him get at his dick and he would only be able to get off in really convoluted ways so like...he wouldnt fucking Know he had a knot he would just feel a weird pressure at the base that he doesnt know what its about. but he starts getting these fantasies of holding benrey down and staying in him when he comes and he doesnt know where the hell thats coming from.....yet. until after everything is over and he can get out of it, and the first time he jacks off again he realizes HOLY FUCK? like what the hell....but it makes sense in retrospect where those fantasies came from. but hes just super embarassed about those fantasies and pushes them down until benrey comes back into his life and activates him again

> in addition to embarassment i think he has a lot of complicated feelings about benrey and definitely feels a guilty about wanting to fuck him into the ground and fill him with cum....but GOD if benrey doesnt get to him just as much as he did in black mesa

> i think that something like this would be so unplanned and shit but like......theyve probably hung out a few times before this or more like maybe benrey has dropped into his house just to annoy him and gordon finds his ears pricking when he hears heavy footsteps around his house cause he recognizes them as benrey's...

> little rush of exhilaration maybe. cause it means they'll spend some time together and he has just all these emotions under his skin when they do. i dont know how this would happen but maybe gordon forgets to keep himself in check when benrey makes him laugh so hard he's snorting and his tail is wagging furiously.benrey tries to touch/catch his tail cause he's kinda curious about it and it never got to mess with it in black mesa. but it turns into roughhousing as gordon shoves him away a little bit but benrey keeps trying to get at it and then get at his ears

> "cmon man just let me touch them whats the big deal-" "NO!" but like hes still laughing a bit until they start really getting into it and he gets breathless and a little irritated at having to roll around and try to pin benrey's hands to the floor

hell on earth......the way his tails wagging and hes grinning and drooling a little once he gets benrey pinned.......

> little triumphant smile when he finally does.....got benrey on his stomach and he's subconsciously rutting against benrey's ass like in black mesa but hes just not noticing while he's berating benrey for losing

> talking right into his ear, and benrey lets out a little gasp when he does a particularly hard thrust and then hes like oh. fuck. he takes in a deep breath and can smell benrey's sweat and realizes hes just as horny about this as he is. cant help but bury his face in the back of his neck and lick. and benrey starts pushing back into him and talking the worst dirty talk and it makes him growl right against his neck and put his teeth there again as a warning not to move but benrey doesnt still, he just keeps talking. so gordon bites down, hard, cutting him off mid sentence with a yelp

f. fucking. benrey......arching his back into it.......pressing his hips up as high as theyll go......the angles bro.....the angles

> also: gordon popping boners more easily, even when he's just platonically excited w/ benrey..... yeah... :)

> like the thing about this is just that he got so excited from the wrasslin that he popped a boner....wasnt even thinking of horny.....

> not until benrey started gasping and arching back into him. then hes immediately aware of how this looks...like hes already basically in the position in his fantasies hes just rutting against him in the imitation of fucking

> gordon getting more frenzied by the little sounds benrey is making as he clamps down on his neck, drool dripping down his chin. benrey braces himself with one hand and gets the other to pull his pants down and then tug on the leg of gordon's down a bit because gordon is kind of. not thinking straight right now. gordon gets the message and fumbles with the buttons to get it down and like. haha i thinnk it would be fun if benrey prepped himself before this and gordon notices like. you really managed to prep urself this time? god, you really wanted this to happen. but maybe benrey had been doing it the last few times cause gordon would get in his space again sometimes and things were tense

NO GOD THIS IS GOOD. LIKE. oh my god gordon just like bitching at him and getting up in his face and Growling a couple times before while his pants are all tented from the inadvertent excitement boners that he doesnt even realize hes having.....and benrey might not be smart but hes not stupid

theres like a 50% chance theyre gonna fuck at any given time he realizes so like. why not......

even if it doesnt work out in the moment benrey still spends the whole time hopped up on the knowledge that they could have, that he was the little fucking pervert who got himself all prepped just in case gordon decided todays the day hes just gonna mount him, and honestly the way he beats his meat and fucks himself afterwards might be nearly as good as the real deal, just from that little bit of self-inflicted degradation

like u said...........he really wanted it to happen

> hhh.... maybe gordon ruts a bit against his ass and benrey guides him in and. he makes a deep growling rumble when he bottoms out. benrey feels it through his chest and gets a full body shiver as he's filled. i dont think hes fully developed his knot yet but its a tight fit. he starts fucking hard and fast into him while open mouthed panting, he cant keep his face away from the benrey's neck, licking up the sweat and burying his face there to breathe in his scent

the fucking . the desperation......every instinct in his body has been telling him to fuck benrey - yes, that benrey, fucking benrey - into the ground for......weeks now? months??

dudes probably tried everything he can think of to overcome it and to think about literally anything else when he gets off but nobody he fucks even comes close to smelling as good as benrey did when gordon had him pinned and gasping and sweating and he could smell the want rolling off him in waves.....and it sucks massive dick and he hates it

> hes been driven crazy by this thought for so long.....cant fucking control himself. wh. what if gordon managed to get a hold of a piece of benrey's clothes that he left and held it up to his face when he let himself jack off to this particular thought so he could get the scent but it jsut wasnt the same without his warm, panting body below him . he always nuts the hardest when he has it though

huffing benreys undershirt and desperately rutting into a pillow on his hands and knees with his ass fully up and hes just utterly debased right now

sad and pathetic gordon freeman humping his pillow like a dog and whining thinking about fucking benrey. if his past self could see himself like this right now he would be disgusted

> !!!!!!!!1 HIM GETTING INTO THE MOUNTING POSITION ON INSTINCT WHEN HE DOES IT...YOUR BRAIN ! i think that gordon would definitely give everything hes got to benrey when he finally gets to fuck him.

> now that hes actually doing it he's just out of his goddamn mind. benrey already being ready for him, slick and hot, just letting him push in .....i think he would definitely go insane

dudes never fucked so hard or so mindlessly in his life......for once all the neuroses just fly out the window. overcome by instinct

> letting out all these whines and moans, not even caring for how loud hes being... benrey's wanted this so fucking bad hes just eating it up, pushing back on him like an animal and getting a power trip that he made gordon this unhinged

thinking about him just being utterly shocked when benrey guides him in and he can just bury himself all the way to the hilt so easily and it makes something in his brain snap

> gordon doesnt even tell benrey when hes close, benrey can just start to feel his knot swell inside him and how it stretches him a bit past what he prepared for...but he wants it in him so fucking bad, he just lets gordon keep fucking into him

like. oh my god. does benrey even know about the knot or is this a brand new and fun surprise for him

> I DONT KNOW......I JUST REALLY LIKE THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING A BIT CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY IT....

> being caught off guard by it but being so turned on by the feeling of it filling him that he lets out this really high, needy sound. which goes straight to gordon's dick and he just pushes into him harder and jolts his whole body with it. maybe he h....he bites down on the other side of his neck again and thrusts in one more time before coming deep in him. just shuddering from it, eyes squeezed shut and jaw locked around benrey

benrey just fuckin. face down ass up and arching his back as high as he can

(mumbling very quietly) it might be cool also if. gordon maybe.....started growling some things as he got close. a certain something. a word

you know......just......bent over benreys back......arms wrapped around benreys chest and fingers digging into the soft flesh (maybe even his titties, if youre feeling spicy).......pistoning his hips in staccato bursts while he growls.........u bh hhhhh......"mine". over and over not even realizing hes doing it b/c his brain is so fogged out on the sheer delight of rawing benrey after having thought about it non-stop

(mumbling so quietly im speaking at a pitch below the human hearing threshold) benrey hoarsely saying "'m yours, 'm yours" while hes got one hand jammed underneath himself to tug at his dick is the thing that sets gordon off and makes him come, perhaps. perhaps

and gordon just.....slumps over him, leaning his full body weight on him, panting weakly into his ear while his hips subconsciously rut just a little bit, arms still wrapped around benrey but otherwise as useless as a bump on a log while benreys jerking himself off to the wild new feeling of having that knot stretch him open and tug at him every time gordon shifts his hips

gordon nuts and becomes utterly useless but at least his knots still fat as hell so benreys still got something to work with

(sobbing) i just want to see men acting like animals leave me olone..... its about the submission to instinct......the degradation and dehumanization......and also the scent kink its all about the fucking scent kink. its about wanting to huff a guy you pretend you hate like hes a fucking magic marker and its about wanting to make him smell like u

> for scent kink, Gordon's boners due to sweaty benrey hehehehe. this is narsty -> Benrey is like "yeesh that was a lot of exertion" after their first almost-sex wrasslin match, and gets embarassed, so next time he like, wears a bunch of old spice.... but gordon doesn't get as excited. like yeah he can feel him against his back and yeah he's not soft but.. he's not panting or as hard. benrey thinks real hard when he gets home

> CLEAN SWEAT OK ITS A COMBATIBILITY THING OK. IT IS. LOOK UP THE SCIENCE OK I ...walks away. clown shoez

YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT THANK U

> Maybe next time He doesn't bother with the old spice at all, and he gets real into the wrasslin... hell maybe he even uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gets gordon's head under his arm im just saying

I DIDNT WANNA BE THE ONE TO SAY IT BUT NO YEAH THATS COOL. ITS A VERY COOL THOUGHT

think about......dogboy gordon roughhousing and getting pinned down himself and snapping his teeth up at benrey like joking but not joking. you know

they both start just getting really into roughhousing b/c sometimes gordons brain gets Stressed The Fuck Out by all the added stimulation to the senses of being pupy......theres too many sounds and smells sometimes and it makes him even more neurotic and makes him start acting up and getting irritable and trying to start shit until he exerts himself enough to tire his brain out and make it shut up

maybe even like.....in the interim after black mesa but before he runs into benrey again, gordon becomes a fucking hot mess b/c he doesnt know how to deal with it all and the only way he got thru black mesa without his brainstem snapping in half was b/c he and benrey would start shit and start fighting and wrestling and the rest of the science team eventually shrugged and accepted this as a (very weird) part of their life now. he looks like hes one minor inconvenience away from a panic attack and its so sad

any kind of physical exercise would help (he takes up jogging when hes feeling stressed out, which is a lot, and hes gotten some really nice legs by this point) but theres just something different about the roughhousing. its a mental exercise as well as a physical one, so it exhausts his brain more, and unbeknownst to him, he just gets fucking endorphins from the way benrey smells and from being able to mark him with all the up-close physical contact theyre getting. so. hence the wrestling and roughhousing and gordons occasional tendency to just pounce the guy in public and start fighting him with his tail wagging and thumping like crazy

it might be even better if gordon attempts to roughhouse with just about the whole science crew at some point, just for a point of comparison

like.....its usually good, its satisfying, and it wears him out and lets him function like a human being......but theres just something about roughhousing with benrey thats really satisfying and he doesnt have the emotional intelligence to figure out what it is

gordon freeman is an idiot, is what im saying

> tommy indulges him and probably lets him win a few times, coomer soundly wins out every time and bubby probably...loses some before getting pissy LOL. i think that its fun for him to get the most Good Feelings out of roughhousing with benrey.....

AUUUUGHHH WHAT IF HE LICKED BENREYS FACE THO

g gbfbhhh god im obsessed with the way benrey laughs at him and asks "what the fuck is wrong  with you?" in the act 3 commentary and thats the exact kind of vibe im feeling from him about like. everything gordon does in pupymode

> Okay, before I go to bed, I shall leave you with a Dog Thought™. Gordon probably wouldn’t be the “best trained” dog in the world because, well, he doesn’t have anyone to make him listen or obey. Heck, given his need to be in control, he probably thinks he’s the leader of the proverbial pack and nobody can tell him what to do. He’d probably slip and do quite a few “rude” and obnoxious dog things, including but not limited to being all over Benrey.

> Trying to goad him into roughhousing. Licking his face. Being in his space to the point that it even starts to make Benrey raise an eyebrow. Inappropriate marking and whatnot. [cough] And what if Benrey--in a weird reversal of the roles we usually give--is stuck with the task of… training Gordon… to behave…

> YOU KNOOOOW. Because pitting alpha dog Gordon against Benrey, who is trying to get him to be “good”...

> … Well, that could be interesting.

> Imagine if you will: Benrey realizing he needs to get Gordon under control. As much as he likes the attention, it's becoming too much. Relentless. Tables have been turned and now he's the one that's a little overwhelmed by the situation because, well, Gordon is running on pure instinct half the time. Making it hard to do things. Making it hard to live his life. Always in his bubble which was, like, fine at first but now he can't do anything without feeling a wet tongue on his face or having Gordon trying to goad him into rough housing.

> He needs so much attention. Has so much energy. It's too much.

> So, he decides he's going to try to "train" Gordon to not... do that. Benrey trying to assert dominance over Gordon, as if he were just a normal dog. Gordon, who has already marked Benrey and decided that Benrey belongs to him does not take to this very well. This is not how the chain of command works. This isn't how the chain of command works at all.

> Benrey, struggling to curb him through praise and admonitions--"good boy," "bad boy," tossing him ~treats~ if he does something right--is now facing off with Gordon, who is both enamored with the attention he's getting but utterly pissed off by the fact Benrey is trying to stop him from doing what he wants.

losing it at the tables being turned and now gordons the annoying fucker getting up in benreys business all the time and never leaving him alone. he deserves this

> They're basically both unmovable objects and unstoppable forces. Benrey is stubborn and isn't going to give up all his sweet PS3 time because Gordon won't stop humping his leg, and Gordon is not going to give up his God given right to make Benrey his property. But Benrey isn't completely averse to the idea of being Gordon's bitch. He just wants to be his bitch on his own terms.

> So, in a surprising show of... well, intelligence on Benrey's behalf, he starts redirecting Gordon's energy towards what HE wants Gordon to do.

> That's how you handle misbehaving dogs anyway. You redirect their energy. That's what all the books on dog training says anyway, and Benrey's inclined to believe it because he's read it in all two books on the subject he casually flipped through.

> So, when Gordon starts getting in his space, he starts redirecting him to touch where he wants touched. "Good boy." When Gordon starts getting a little rough, he purposefully positions himself so he gets the most out of it. "Good boy." When Gordon's licking his face, he starts trying to guide that tongue down to his neck. Feels better there. "Good boy."

> Because he's not a complete idiot. Him and Gordon both know this is sexually charged at this point. And Gordon... Gordon can bend his behaviors a little bit as he's being directed if he still gets to do what he wants (in a way), and Benrey still gets to be fondled by the nerd.

> "But part of the problem is that he is in Benrey's space all the time!" Yeah, but Benrey figured that out, too. You know what shuts up Gordon real fast? Pushing him back down on the other end of the couch and telling him to stay. And if he listens, he slowly, carefully hand feeds Gordon a treat as a reward. Pushing it into his mouth, making sure it goes all the way in. Letting Gordon lick the last bits of taste off of his fingers. He usually sits still after that. "Good boy."

i have a thought thats almost unrelated but im so desperate to give this scenario the proper context

thinking about......gordon getting out of black mesa and hes still dogboy.....and hes attempting to go back to life as normal now that benreys out of his hair for ever but one day his pupy nose catches That Fucking Smell on the air and he realizes that benreys not fucking dead. he thought benrey was fucking dead, b/c he killed him

gordon freeman losing his mind for a solid week or two trying to hunt that smell down (why?? to prove a point?? to try to kill benrey again??? uh huh.) and then when he does hunt benrey down, its like.....well, what was the plan, bud? you found him, and now youre having a staredown outside a 7/11 while benreys frozen halfway through his big gulp

i literally forgot what i was typing b/c dogy gordon tum y rub b gtfhgbb ggfabgbbg

and.....well......he doesnt know exactly what his game plan was, but he does know that benrey cant be trusted as far as u can throw him, and hes not about to let benrey wreak havoc on new mexico if he can help it, so now his new hobby is......tracking benrey across the city to keep an eye on him

and thats how they keep ending up in close proximity

and thats how u start looping in the whole role reversal thing.....suddenly gordons the one that benrey cant shake......hes a bloodhound and hes got the scent

SORRY im SORRY i crave context with the same ferocity that i crave, like, air

and then they start roughhousing when gordon tackles him to the ground one day to stop him from doing.....something......and gordon snaps being to being a normal person so quickly afterwards that its dizzying. turns out a solid 80% of what he really wanted was a sparring buddy

> good afternoon everyone this is not horny in the slightest but i just wanted to say- you know that thing dogs do where they get REALLY excited and playful when you come home from a long day at work? well i’m just thinking about. y’know how benrey has a tendency to just, vanish for a while and come back like nothing happened? think it’d be cute if he were gone for a particularly long stretch of time b4 catching up with the science team again and gordon RESPONDS in his typical annoyed, bratty fashion while his body language is saying something completely different (he still hasn’t mastered the art of puby)

> like, u know, tail wagging a hundred miles a minute, ears perked up and attentive, subconsciously getting all up in benrey’s space

Im going to Cry thats so fucking cute wtf wtf  wt ff

still going insane thinking about the “good boy” thing......like...... its all fun and games until hes grappling his best friend benrey and hes got benrey in a headlock and hes plastered against benreys back from head to toe and his tails thumping excitedly against the floor and hes panting hot and harsh right against benreys ear and benrey takes that moment, right there, to choke out "good boy"

its half outright horny and half power play b/c benreys banking that either theyre gonna fuck or gordons gonna let go and be like "what the fuck, man" and then benrey can get the drop on him again

the way gordon just goes stiff after he says it.....breath getting shaky.....dick twitching once against benreys ass and the guy can fucking feel it clear as day......Augh

his tail slows.....and then fires right back up again when he tentatively rocks his hips against benreys ass and feels the sound benrey makes more than he hears it......and like for fucks sake theyve been dancing around how horny their roughhousing sessions are for weeks, this guy deserves to finally get his rocks off by dry humping benreys ass while benreys getting spots in his vision from how tightly gordons got his arm wrapped around his neck. he deserves this

gordons free hand slowly opening up and pressing flat against benreys shirt, then crawling under it so that he can feel the bare skin of his stomach......rocking his hips against the dip between benreys cheeks and whimpering when benrey says it again, breathless and hoarse. "good boy." his tongue poking out to lick a broad, wet stripe up the side of benreys neck to taste the salt and sweat and the hormones, jesus christ, hes never been able to taste if somebodys horny before but its rolling off of him in waves.......and gordons breath comes out so loud and harsh and desperate when benreys leg lifts up a little bit for him to slot his own between them more easily

just mumbling stupid horny shit like "fuck benrey, you taste so good" while his tongue lolls out of his mouth and he licks the curve of benreys ear and rolls benrey onto his stomach b/c something in the back of his brain is whispering to him that it would be a really, really good idea, and hes originally got benrey just crushed flat against the floor with his full body weight but benrey takes a rattling breath and tells him to ease up, get up offa him.....

and gordons confused at this point b/c he was pretty sure this was where this was going, he was being a good boy, but that thought doesnt last very long b/c benreys shuffling into position under him, raising his hips and pushing gordons up with him while his face and torso are flat against the floor, and, Oh. hes. hes doing that. this is what theyre fucking doing now

> gordon taking the collar of benrey’s shirt in his mouth in an crude imitation of scruffing him

every fucking bone in gordons body is telling him to move his hips, fuck benrey stupid, bury himself to the hilt, but he cant do that when theyre both still clothed so he does the next best thing and ruts against benrey like he fucking means it and like if he just tries hard enough, gets enough friction, itll be just like fucking him for real......

hes so dizzied by looping thoughts of he wants this, he wants you to mount him, like youre a filthy fucking animal, arent you? you sick fuck, you wanna mark him and breed him and hed let you, hed beg you for it, look, hes doing it right now and when he comes back down to earth, yeah, benrey is begging right now, isnt he. while hes palming at the front of his sweatpants and whimpering and calling gordon a good boy, attempting to tug his pants down to his knees so gordon can rut against bare flesh, and gordon slows down just enough to let him do it and to fumble open his own zipper to ease some of the agonizing pressure

gordon fumbling his dick out of his underwear to line it up between benreys fat cheeks and god, the feeling of skin against skin is so much fucking better than chafing against his jeans that it makes him growl against benreys neck and benrey cant pump his fucking dick fast enough. hes so encouraging, what with all those little sounds hes making and the way hes arching his back and pressing his hips up as high as theyll go, groaning into the crook of his arm "fuckin, fuck me, bro, j-just like that"

> thinking...... they both get so lost in it, they both can’t hold back long enough to fuck for real. this is too hot, benrey feels something hot and wet on his ass and gordon is curling into him. benrey’s never felt so simultaneous turned on and frustrated that he’s still empty, he’s still gonna have to wait, snd ironically that denial pushes him over too

GOD yes fuckin. coming on his ass b/c gordons so frantic and desperate that he cant wait...... but seeing his cum all over benreys ass is deeply satisfying in its own way. he smears it deep into benreys skin to mark him like that

> oh hey imma be nasty sorry but Gordon all cum-high just sort of manouvering Benrey until he can start licking his cock clean bc he likes to uh. i mean benrey's all wet and you know. he likes it. and benrey comes from that, before he can even think about sucking him off properly

> he doesnt have a thought left in his head at the moment... and can u blame him? so he just uh follows he nose.......  and benrey's brain is deleted except for "GORDON FREEMAN ON MY DICK????????" bouncing around like a screensaver yes

> yeah he's not even trying to suck him off really, hes not gotten that far yet cuz hes so cumbrained, gone stupid, etc

im gonna be gross here too okay......and like. fucking. huffing and burying his nose into the crook of benreys thighs b/c he smells so intensely like sex and sweat and it makes gordon lightheaded

> YEAAH maybe he starts licking there before he gets up to his dick. it's not like he's dragging it out really so it's not long but benrey's gaping like a fish. he's trying to say something sorta but he can't get any words out and isn't even sure what he himself is trying to say

maybe he cant help himself and he just starts licking and biting on impulse b/c its your resident fuckin thigh guy here and i think benrey deserves to get em chomped like a drumstick

> and then that's gordon's tongue on his dick, bro and this neurotic mf looking so pleased and blissed out as he sloppily licks him all over is a sight he couldn't have even cooked up in his imagination before now

> benrey not coherently enough to warn him he’s like right there, his babbling incoherently at the tease of gordon’s nose and lips is gonna make him- and then his Tounge darts out and it’s over, the start of the end and he’s spurting all over gordon’s completely surprised face without even being jerked or licked through it

> maybe since gordon's been so stressed and keyed up for so long that benrey coming is a surprise but still doesn't shock him enough to clear the cumbrain, so he licks ben clean after that too, while he's twitching and whimpering etc

> think that benrey massive meat being useless and barely even touched is hip and rad even in the context of him technically being in the higher position of power

> then rests his head on beny's belly for a while, feeling very accomplished and tired. he'll panic later, don't worry

god im still thinking about. pillow humping/voyeurism

gordon freemans a bad fucking dog and sometimes he cant help himself and just starts rutting into a pillow with his ass up and his face buried in one of benreys undershirts while hes just panting and mumbling shit the whole time about benrey, benrey, benrey, why is he so fucking obsessed with benrey and with thinking about mounting him just like hes doing to his poor abused pillow every week

and. you know. maybe one day......benrey kind of.....catches him in the act. i think that would be cool. just coming home one day and cracking open his bedroom door and seeing gordon freeman on all fours, his teeth sunk deep into one pillow and another pillow between his thighs, desperately fucking it while hes groaning benreys name b/c he sure as shit was not expecting him back that early, which is why his cumbrain made him feel confident enough to crawl into benreys bed and roll around in it and mainline benreys scent from his clothes and nut on his pillow (and then feel fucking bad about it and frantically try to clean it off)

and benrey just slooowly steps back with his heart pounding out of his chest for possibly the first time in his whole life b/c he did not think gordon freeman ever wanted to fuck him, but here he is, using benreys pillow as an imitation of the real thing and jerking off in his bed

just turns right the fuck back around and goes into the bathroom and splashes some water on his face and stares down at his sudden boner

THANKS FOR READING ALL OF THIS B/C THIS ISNT EVEN GETTING INTO THE PISS STUFF THAT WEVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT. SORRY FOR BEING LIKE THIS

[dibs4ever]

Death of Dick Grayson

The entire “Batfamily” aside fromBarbara sat and stood around a circle in the cave.

All of them glum

Stephanie was sobbing into Tim’s chest

Jason clenched his fists

Cassandra and Duke looked down at the ground.

Alfred was taking deep breaths attempting to control his emotions

Damian was looking up, his eyes closed tightly, grinding his teeth fighting the urge to show emotion

Bruce looked forward emotionlessly, not looking at anyone

“Oh God, what about Barbara. Who’s going to tell her?” Stephanie sniffed as realization struck her

Everyone looked at Bruce who still refused to meet their eyes

“I will” Jason spoke standing up

Bruce shook his head “I need to”

Jason held up a hand “I will tell her Bruce, who better to break the news than someone who has been dead before. Maybe it’ll give her hope”

“The last thing Gordon needs is false hope” Damian grumbled

Jason’s head whipped in Damian’s direction “It’s better than nothing”

“It’s worse than acceptance that Grayson is gone! The fact that grandfather brought you back was an extreme rarity, besides you know he can’t do it again. Grayson is dead. “

“I wish it was possible.” Tim sighed

Jason swallowed “Look, you don’t think I know that if given the chance of a miracle like mine happening and one of us coming back to life all of you would choose Dick over me? “

Bruce shook his head “Jason that’s not true”

“Don’t lie right now, Bruce!” Jason held up a finger “I would gladly die again if it meant bringing Dick back. He makes our lives just a little brighter. Now if you’ll excuse me.” He began exiting

“Master Jason where are you going?” Alfred spoke softly the sadness evident in his voice

Jason inhaled a breath wanting to speak softly to the kind-hearted butler

“To crush my brother's girls heart.”

“Jason? Barbara asked confused as she opened the door to her apartment letting him in

”Hey BG” he spoke

she continued to look at him ”Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be on that big secret mission with Batman and Nightwing?”

Jason inhaled a breath “Mission is over”

She tilted her head if the mission was over Dick would’ve called her as soon as he got back

“We had an emergency and called it off” he continued

She sat down “Is everyone okay?”

Jason was silent

Barbara stood placing her hands on his shoulders “Jason where are Bruce and Dick?”

He let out a breath “Bruce is home with Dick.”

She knew something was being left out and stared him down

“Dick is dead Barbara,” Jason said sternly

She shook her head “Don’t joke like that.” She went to grab her phone but Jason stopped her ”I'm serious Barbara. I saw it happen. He went into the building and it blew up!”

She shrugged “He could still be alive . Why aren’t we searching!” She went to her room to retrieve what he presumed was going to be her batgirl suit but he stepped in front of her. “His body is at the cave....I’m sorry.”

She shook her head “I-I Dont believe you.”

Jason bit his lip “Look I can bring you there if you want to see for yourself.” He knew he probably sounded like an ass but she needed to accept this

30 minutes later Jason came into the cave , the family looking shocked as Barbara rushed in toward the medical bed

“Dick” she touched his chest gently for a moment, then moved her hand to his wrist

“Dick?” Her concern rising, her hand moved to his neck and then his foot “Why isn’t he hooked up to anything?” She stuttered “And why does he just have a sheet and his boxer briefs on?” She continued

Bruce shook his head “Barbara he’s gone.”

Barbara shook her head “No he’s not! “ she rose her voice slightly

“Alfred could you brew some of the hibiscus tea? You know how Dick likes a nice cool fresh glass of that after a bad night.”

“Barb-“ Tim began

Barbara held up her hand “Do not tell me he’s dead. He isn’t dead. “

They were silent, nobody moving

But Bruce knew he needed to get Dick’s body out within an hour before the injection wore off

“Barbara I need to get his body to a morgue” Bruce took a step

“No-he-hes gonna-. “ she continued pressing pressure points, pulse point and feeling for breathing . “He’s going to wake up, he’s-he’s just passed out.” She ran her fingers through his hair. Taking notice of the family staring at her she turned back to Dick “Dick? Come on wake up.” She jostled his body “No!! You aren’t gone!” Tears started streaming down her face as realization took over. She shook him more aggressively “You can’t be dead!” She screamed as she crawled into the small space on the bed. Lying her head on his bare chest, hoping to hear some sort of heart beat “Baby? Please wake up. Don’t leave me. I-I can’t live without you.”

Bruce couldn’t handle it anymore “Alright thats enough”

She shook her head, worming her body up so she could nuzzle his neck and inhale his sent “Please Dick, nobody will ever understand me like you. Wake up.” She turned her face planting a tender kiss to his cheek

“Just give her a minute!” Stephanie barked

Bruce sighed , thanking his stars that the injection was strong enough that Dick wouldn’t know how Barbara reacted to his death

She slid off the bed, Jason jumping to her side. He slid on the ground pulling her to his chest

“He’s gone.” She sobbed

Barbara began hiccuping “Dick....my my my Dick. My sweetheart.” She gasped for air. Crying harder then any of them had seen someone sob.

Bruce took this opportunity to wheel Dick out

He zoned out the sounds of Barbara’s wails, the rest of the family gathering around her to give comfort.

2 weeks later

Dinah had picked the lock to Barbara Gordon’s apartment and was creeping her way through the kitchen . The door creaked as she opened it, silently she cursed under her breath.

“Why are you hear Di” Barbara mumbled into the pillow

Dinah walked into the dark bedroom, “Because it’s 1 in the afternoon, you’re still in bed. It’s pitch black in here” she flung the blinds open letting in sunlight

Barbara groaned pulling the blanket over her head, rolling so her back was to Dinah

Dinah crawled into the other side of Barbara’s bed “And nobody has heard from you in 2 weeks.” She said swiftly as she rested a hand on Barbara’s shoulder

Barbara rolled on her back and pulled the blanket down to look at her friend “I’ve been out”

Dinah nodded “Yeah on patrol as Bargirl and that’s it. And from what I’ve heard about that work you haven’t exactly been at the top of your game. Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Barbara looked down

“Sorry, probably bad choice of words but you know what I’m saying.”

Barbara shook her head “Whats the point Dinah. Dick....without him I feel like I lost a piece of me. He’s gone now and I will never get the piece back and be whole again.”

Dinah lied down pulling her friend to her side “Why don’t I fix you something to eat?”

Barbara shook her head “I can’t, every time I eat I get nauseous, plus I’m just really sleepy and moody which makes me even more not in the mood to eat.”

Dinah looked at her “Why don’t you go see Leslie about this!”

Barbara shook her head “It’s just sadness. Nothing she can do to help”

Dinah nodded “Yes there is BG, there is no shame in medication for depression. Plus what if it’s something else...‘what if you’re sick or worse what if it’s a serious illness “

Barbara shook her head “Fine I’ll go tomorrow. Hopefully she has something before noon. I’m supposed to meet Wally for lunch.”

Dinah smiled feeling victorious, hoping Leslie could help her friend feel better

Should I make a part 2?

[dallanebbia]

betsubara

title: betsubara fandom: bnha pariring: kacchako; bakugou katsuki x uraraka ochako word count: 3.9k (including text in posts) warnings: none synopsis: in which the u.a. test kitchen tries its hand at the whole youtube thing, and the internet collectively ships kacchako. bon appetit test kitchen au + socmed au notes: written for day 3 of kacchako week 2020, with the prompt ‘desserts & sweets.’ i know that BA has its share of problems, but i really wanted to write this after stumbling across ba test kitchen fanfics on ao3 and some social media aus on twitter… i have so much respect for people who make smau fics, i don’t know how you do it. ochako here is a bizarre mix of brad leone, solha el-waylly, liziqi and emmymadeinjapan, and bakguou…. is bakugou :’) ao3: [link]

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別腹 | betsubara (n.) – Japanese, second stomach for dessert

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Susan Anderson @susan.anderson – Jun 29, 2XXX My grandchildren said I would enjoy watching the UA test kitchen youtube channel, but I don’t know where to start. Can someone please give me some suggestions? Why do they change chefs in every video? 62 🗨️   133 ⭮   869k ♡

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↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Replying to @susan.anderson Hi Susan! I’m the kitchen manager for @ua_testkitchen, and I’d be happy to help! We have playlists for each of our web series on our YouTube channel, but I’ll do my best to explain each series below. 23 🗨️   241 ⭮   3.2k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Hot Takes – If you don’t mind some occasional foul language, this is a very popular series! Chef @bakugoukatsuki demonstrates techniques on how to make Japanese staples, from omurice to hand cut soba. It’s extremely educational! 123 🗨️   213 ⭮   3.5k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Bon Appetit – This series is all about French food, with Japanese twist! Chef @foreversparkling breaks down intimidating recipes like souffles, gougeres, and quiches for the amateur cook to try at home! 89 🗨️   165 ⭮   2.8k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Farm to Table – If you’re interested in where your food comes from, this is a great choice! Chef @u_ochako shows viewers what it takes to grow and cultivate ingredients. She also delves into the science behind making things like kombucha, natto, and beer! 155 🗨️   188 ⭮   3.9k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX From Scratch – This is our only series with two hosts! We ask our chefs @shouto and @yaomomo to tackle the challenge of recreating popular junk food and snack items entirely from scratch. These can be anything, from your favorite candy to foreign staples like Twinkies! 102 🗨️   288 ⭮   2.7k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX 10 Chefs – This series asks ten of our @ua_testkitchen chefs to undergo a series of culinary challenges of varying difficulties. These can range from cutting a durian to cooking a live lobster! 48 🗨️   85 ⭮   1.4k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX The Great U.A. Bake Off – These are special videos that showcase U.A.’s biannual dessert competition! We invite renowned chef and television star @AllMight to join as our host and judge. Our resident pastry chef @satousugarman has held the title for the past four years! 99 🗨️   174 ⭮   2.1k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX We also film various instructional videos, which are not part of any particular series. These can be recipes or in-depth guides to various kitchen tools and appliances. Hopefully these give you a good place to start, and feel free to contact me if you have any other questions! 21 🗨️   98 ⭮   1.1k ♡

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↳ Susan Anderson @susan.anderson – Jul 01, 2XXX Thank you, Mr. Midoriya. I started watching Farm to Table, and I’m enjoying it a lot. I do have a question – I’m reading the comments, and there’s a cooking term I’m not familiar with. What is a “kacchako?” Is it a cooking appliance? 721 🗨️   2.1k ⭮   8.9k ♡

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↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jul 02, 2XXX Replying to @susan.anderson … Um. 202 🗨️   4.3k ⭮   10.4k ♡

↳ jfc they’re actually clueless @hitoshinsou – Jul 02, 2XXX Replying to @susan.anderson and @dekiru yeah @dekiru, what is a kacchako? 180 🗨️   961 ⭮   2.9k ♡

… 331 more replies

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“Hey guys!” Uraraka waved cheerfully at the camera. “My name is Uraraka Ochako, and welcome back to Farm to Table, a show where we explore where our food comes from!” 

“For today’s episode, we’re going to be doing something a liiittle different.” On the counter was a pile of misshapen brown lumps, mottled with different black and brown spots. “On our cacao episode, a lot of you were a little… shall we say, disappointed with me, when I didn’t make chocolate out of a cacao pod.”

Uraraka’s smile turned icy, as a screenshot popped up on screen. She held up a little slip of paper from her hand and cleared her voice.

“ ‘Making chocolate isn’t easy,’ ” she read, widening her eyes for emphasis. “ ‘This girl has no idea what she’s talking about.’ ”

The dark, saccharine expression on her face never faltered as she ripped up the paper into tiny pieces, throwing bits over her shoulder.

“Now, I’m here to show you that actually, yes – making chocolate can be easy!” The hard smile was replaced by a warm grin. “My friends at Tokyo Cacao sent me some pods to work with, and lucky for us, they’re ripe and ready to go!” 

She beamed, picking up a pod and showing it off to the camera. “I’ll show you guys how to turn these bad boys into chocolate - and after that, I’m gonna share one of my favorite chocolate recipes with you!” 

Uraraka then grinned mischievously. “First things first – we gotta crack this little guy open.” Reaching under the countertop, she whipped out a gigantic chef’s knife. It was easily as long as Uraraka’s forearm, and the polished blade was engraved with two characters that clearly read, ‘Bakugou.’

A choking sound was heard off screen. 

“Holy shit Uraraka, you took it?!” A man popped into frame, gaping at the knife in Uraraka’s hand. “Dude, Bakugou’s been looking for that all morning - he’s going to kill you for real this time!” 

“Not if he doesn’t find out,” she said seriously, fixing the blonde man with a pointed look. “You’re not going to rat me out, are you, Kaminari?” 

“And get killed in his Baku-rage? No thanks.” He shivered, staring at the knife as if it was going to attack him. “At least you’ve got a chance of surviving.”

Uraraka laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re acting like he’s going to eat you or something.” 

“You don’t know about poor Mineta,” Kaminari looked grave as he closed his eyes in a moment of silence, before scurrying out of frame. He called out, “If anyone, especially Bakubro, asks – I was never here!”  

“O… kay?... ” Uraraka blinked at the camera for a few moments and then shook her head in amusement. “Anyways, back to the topic – opening the pod! The rind is pretty thick and slippery, so be careful where you’re cutting! The best way is to set the edge of the knife in one of the grooves and give it a good whack, like this - !” 

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Pro Chef Makes Omurice | Hot Takes | U.A. Test Kitchen 3,439,062 views ･ August 29, 2XXX

To quote our favorite foul-mouthed chef: “Even a F***ing idiot can make omurice.” 

Join Bakugou Katsuki in the U.A. Test Kitchen as he makes a Japanese comfort food staple, omurice. This isn’t your average, amateur omurice omelette video - Bakugou breaks down the special tricks and techniques he uses to achieve the perfect taste, shape and texture. His recipe uses buttery chicken, fried… 

[SHOW MORE]

10,237 comments

hvf26 – 3 hours ago Japanese gordon ramsey 👍 2.7K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 25 replies

TipTop – 2 hours ago new drinking game: take a shot every time you hear “fuck” EDIT: 13 shots in and 18 minutes left, i give up 👍 8.6K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 93 replies

shroomaster3110 – 9 hours ago bakugou: “even a fucking idiot can make omurice” also bakugou: “veal stock, red wine, honey, tomato paste, reduce for 3 days” me: instant ramen it is 👍 749   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 8 replies

obsssd1992 – 6 hours ago hOoly fuck the sound uraraka made when she tasted it 👍 9.4K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 155 replies

vulcanus – 3 hours ago 7:33 cracking two eggs at the same time with one hand he really be flexing on us huh 👍 233K   👎   REPLY

periperi – 10 hours ago 22:18 is it just me or does bakugou look like he’s blushing??? like, his ears are so so red 👍 5.1K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 84 replies

dinovino44 – 7 hours ago “just fucking flip it” I blinked and that shit literally went from goo to an omelet HOW 👍 144   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 3 replies

Angela B – 8 hours ago I would love to try this but i dont want to waste 17 dozen eggs trying to make it properly 👍 3.7K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 29 replies

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“Oh fuck, that’s good,” Bakugou groaned, mouth full as he chewed. The mango-coconut tart in front of him was dotted with swirls of candied orange peel as a garnish, but it did nothing to hide the fact that the entire thing was dusted with a liberal coating of violent red chili powder.

At his side, Uraraka beamed, sniffling a little from the pervasive scent of spice in the air. “I added some lime too, just to break up the richness – it’s not too sweet?”

“S’fucking perfect.” Bakugou scarfed down the last bite of the piece in his hand. He let out another long moan, the sound of it deep and guttural, and Uraraka’s eyes widened as she stared, her cheeks turning red. “Screw it, I’m eating this for lunch.”

“Eh?” Uraraka blinked, snapping out of her daze just as the tray was snatched from her workbench. “Wait, wait – Bakugou! Give it back, I haven’t even tasted it yet!”

“Pft, like you wouldn’t down a carton of milk after one bite,” he scoffed, holding the tart above his head and trying to fend off Uraraka with his free hand as she pulled at his arm. “Fucking get off, Uraraka, I – !”

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SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Aug 17, 2XXX alright since some of y’all are fucking BLIND here’s a list of every bakugou x uraraka moment on the u.a. test kitchen youtube channel (a thread) 184 🗨️   5.3k ⭮   12.6k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Aug 17, 2XXX [01] the great u.a. Baking show, cheesecake: during taste tests bakugou hated every single person’s cheesecake EXCEPT uraraka’s peach and plum one. He said it was acceptable BUT THEN HE GOES BACK FOR ANOTHER PIECE 2 🗨️   229 ⭮   10.4k ♡

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↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Oct 28, 2XXX [33] farm to table, jicama/watermelon: bakugou says there isn’t enough heat in the dipping sauce during taste tests, uraraka then pulls out the extra spicy version she made just for him and bakugou looks flabbergasted when he tries it and then HE TAKES THE SAUCE HOME 10 🗨️   121 ⭮   2.4k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Nov 01, 2XXX [34] from scratch, shrimp chips: at 14:53 you can see bakugou and uraraka in the background working on something together and when aoyama comes in waving around a whisk like a madman bakugou PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HER WAIST AND PULLS HER OUT OF THE WAY 15 🗨️   146 ⭮   2k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Nov 01, 2XXX [35] from scratch, shrimp chips: when uraraka’s taste testing the final versions, she tells bakugou to come and try them. Bakugou grabs the chip she’s eating out of her hand and takes a bite AND THEN STUFFS IT BACK IN HER MOUTH BEFORE WALKING AWAY 29 🗨️   132 ⭮   2.4k ♡

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↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jan 11, 2XXX [69] hot takes, udon: bakugou says he’s only doing this video because someone said he had to, and uraraka mouths at the camera “he can’t say no to me” and bakugou sees her doing it but just rolls his eyes HE DOESN’T DENY IT 34 🗨️   204 ⭮   1.8k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jan 11, 2XXX [70] hot takes, udon: bakugou’s testing the dough consistency and yells at uraraka to come over so he can compare it TO HER CHEEKS and the man no cap says “not soft enough, it needs more pounding” and the blush on her face AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 119 🗨️   451 ⭮   3.6k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jan 24, 2XXX [71] the great u.a. bake off, pavlovas: honestly just take this entire episode as proof you can FEEL the tension through the screen my god. the way they’re play-fighting/flirting throughout the episode jesus fucking christ the flavor is immaculate 85 🗨️   154 ⭮   2.1k ♡

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↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Mar 01, 2XXX [82] bon appetit, coq au vin: aoyama asks uraraka for help and bakugou literally spends the entire video glaring at aoyama from the background and ochako mouths “I’m almost done katsuki” at 15:43 SHE USES HIS FIRST NAME 26 🗨️   98 ⭮   1.9k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Mar 09, 2XXX [83] hot takes, takoyaki: uraraka asks bakugou to taste test a smoothie for her and he goes, “the one you made yesterday was better” but later he says something about hating Mondays WHICH MEANS HE AND URARAKA WERE TOGETHER OVER THE WEEKEND 37 🗨️   159 ⭮   2k ♡

… 13 more replies

↳ teatime @kabedondon – 6h Replying to @retrograade the detail in this thread is scary but even more concerning is the fact that you’ve somehow managed to convince me, at the very minimum, that they’re fucking 13 🗨️   1.1k ⭮   4k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – 4h Replying to @kabedondon welcome to the club, hope you enjoy your stay 21 🗨️   59 ⭮   573 ♡

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Todoroki stared down at the gooey, green-streaked mess of chocolate in front of him mournfully. At his side, Yaoyorozu looked equally despondent, poking at the dull sheen of dark chocolate covering the biscuit in her hand. 

“Should we…?” Todoroki glanced over hesitantly, and Yaoyorozu bit her lip. 

“I was really hoping we’d get it this time.” She sighed heavily, before turning around. The camera zoomed out, the frame widening to show a few people milling around in the background. “Uraraka! Do you have a moment?” 

A chirpy voice replied, “Sure!” Todoroki visibly sighed in relief, quickly dumping his mixing bowl into the sink of dirty dishes as Uraraka came into the shot. 

“Huh, that’s definitely not right…” The brunette poked Yaoyorozu’s chocolate mixture with a frown. “What temperature did you heat this to?” 

“45 degrees?” Uraraka hummed, scooping up a bit of the mixture and dumping it into her hand. She rubbed at it, frowning. “What did you use as your seeded chocolate?” 

Todoroki slid the half-empty bag of chocolate chips across the counter, and Uraraka dumped a pile of them out. Little disks spilled across the marble, and she tested one piece between her clean fingers. “Uh, you know that you’re supposed to use tempered chocolate to seed, right?” 

Todoroki opened his mouth, paused, then closed it abruptly. Yaoyorozu buried her face in her hands and audibly groaned.

“Hey, the good news is that you can totally reuse this!” Uraraka tried to smile encouragingly. “Did the matcha chocolate come out weird too, or –?”

“Oi, what the fuck is this?” The camera panned to the side, where Bakugou was holding up Todoroki’s abandoned mixing bowl in a fist, features twisted into a grimace. “Did all those e-cigs fry your brain, Half-and-half? Who the fuck doesn’t sift matcha before –” 

“Hey, lay off of him, Bakugou.” Uraraka stomped over and snatched the bowl away. “Tempering is hard! And you know white chocolate is tricky.” 

“Tch, please.” He scoffed. “What kind of idiot can’t temper chocolate?” 

Uraraka’s eyes flashed, and she planted her arms on her waist. “Have you ever tempered chocolate before?” 

“What kind of dumbass question is that?” Bakugou growled. “Course I have, I didn’t live under a fucking rock like these two morons.” 

Yaoyorozu bristled indignantly, but Uraraka held up her hand. Todoroki just looked tired, and muttered under his breath, “Here we go again…”

“Then you wouldn’t mind giving us a demonstration, would you?” Bakugou looked at her sweet, smiling face suspiciously. “Or are you too chicken to prove it?”

Red eyes flashed dangerously. “... the fuck did you just say?”

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

The video cut to a shot of lumpy, melted white goo, before zooming out to show Bakugou’s scowl. “What the fuck is wrong with this shitty chocolate?” He kept stirring, even more vigorously this time, and looked down at the mixture as if he was trying to set it on fire with his glare.

Todoroki and Yaoyorozu were tucked a little ways away, snickering quietly as they watched from a safe distance away. Across from Bakugou, leaning casually against the counter, Uraraka smiled gleefully.

“Hur-dur, ‘what kind of idiot can’t temper chocolate?’ ” she mimicked, her voice lowered in an approximation of the blonde’s low growl. Uraraka laughed, and then ducked as a chocolate-covered spatula sailed over her head.

“FUCK OFF, ROUND FACE!” 

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

smolbean678 reblogged kryssalys ochaakou:

reasons you should stan uraraka ochako, u.a.’s farming goddess and resident bakugou whisperer:

- has probably saved about half of the “from scratch” episodes by virtue of being the only person in the entire u.a. test kitchen who can consistently temper chocolate

- speaking of chocolate, this woman pulled the hardest flex by making her own chocolate from a raw cacao pod, and then proceeded to make chocolate chicken mole with it just to prove to the haters that she could 

- is the acting president of the musutafu ninniclub, a japanese club for lovers of garlic. she also openly admits to sleeping with a ninnikyun plushie, aka the club mascot which is apparently a giant garlic clove (seriously, you can’t make this shit up guys)

- vocal advocate of Feeding Japan, a hunger relief organization that works to combat food insecurity, and is frequently seen volunteering at food banks and soup kitchens (1) (2) (3) (4)

- a lot of the ingredients she features in the “farm to table” series come from her parent’s farm! (pics) she grew up working at her parents’ stall at her hometown farmer’s market and promotes buying locally to support regional farms and businesses.

- this masterpiece of a tweet: “I love food and I love to eat. If someone wants to shame me for my body then they can go fuck themselves.”

- creates recipes that not only taste good but are also healthy, quick, easy and beginner friendly – yes, I’m looking at you, mr. bakugou “just fucking flip it and reduce for 3 days” katsuki – see the archive of her recipes here (x)

- has a tiktok dedicated entirely to trolling todoroki’s reactions with weird flavors of soba, these are my favorites (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)

- she’s a self-taught chef who started as a dishwasher and worked up to being the sous chef at ryuko tatsuma’s restaurant dragoon before coming to the u.a. test kitchen and was regularly praised by food critics (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

- has single-handedly saved u.a. millions of yen from that one time she stopped bakugou from ‘accidentally’ exploding an air fryer

- speaks fluent baku-rage, not to mention their chemistry is off the charts hoO BOY the slow burn is fucking real y’all

alright there’s so much more stuff but I fucking hate formatting links, so watch farm to table and follow uraraka on social media (twitter / instagram / tiktok) because this queen deserves our love. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

hoooooot-hoot:

[link] to the twitter thread for my fellow kacchako shippers, i gotchu

54,230 notes #ua test kitchen #kacchako #stan uraraka #bakugou better worship our queen or im gonna throw hands

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

“Ugh.” Uraraka glared down at the sad, deflated lumps sitting in the middle of her ramekins. “Where is Aoyama when you need him?” 

“That looks pathetic,” a blunt voice said, and Uraraka sighed as Bakugou came into the camera frame, leaning over the counter to peer into one cup with a skeptical look. “What the hell are you making?” 

“Well, it’s supposed to be a pistachio-strawberry souffle.” She huffed, rubbing at her neck in frustration. “I can’t figure out how to get the nuts to distribute evenly… and it’s just not rising? I don’t get it – I remade my pastry cream like, three times, I know it’s fine, and I buttered my molds but it just…”

“You try freezing the molds after you butter them?” A frown came over Uraraka’s face as she shook her head. Bakugou grabbed one of the little cups, prodding the contents with a finger, and made a face. “Keeps it from contaminating your mixture and fucking up the rise.”

“When I make them at home, they’re usually fine at room temp,” she said dejectedly. “I don’t know why I can’t get it right today.” 

The camera zoomed in a little, focusing on Bakugou’s expression as he glanced towards Uraraka. He looked a little concerned, and after a beat of silence, he came around the counter to stand beside her.

“Oi, don’t get all mopey on me, Cheeks.” He nudged her shoulder lightly, settling a hand across the back of Uraraka’s neck. “You good?” 

She sighed heavily, leaning a little into his hand. “Yeah, yeah, I just… I don’t know. My brain isn’t working right now.” 

“Tch.” Bakugou looked over the mess of bowls spread across the counter, eyes settling on the deflated looking egg-whites on one side. “Look – I’ll help ya out, just this once. Don’t quit on me now, yeah?

She blinked, looking up at him with furrowed brows. “But I thought… don’t you have that thing, with –”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. This is more important,” he said, shrugging off his leather jacket and rolling up his sleeves. Uraraka just looked back at him in confusion. 

“But…” She bit her lip hesitantly. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah.” Bakugou smirked back at her as he tied on his apron. “I got you, Cheeks.” 

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

[Video: Todoroki, frozen in place with blank eyes and noodles falling out of his mouth as someone shakes his unresponsive body]

u_ochako: i… may have made chocolate flavored soba. PLEASE DON’T CRY TODOROKI #imsorry ♡ 137.4K   🗨️ 3251 

trololoki: holy shit he actually looks like he’s about to cry View replies (157) ⯆ 

augusttine: can we all agree that what makes this 10x funnier is bakugou’s hyena cackling in the background View replies (209) ⯆ 

u_24: this is soba-sphemous View replies (54) ⯆ 

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

Uraraka rubbed her eyes, blinking as she gaped.

“You…” She looked up at him, chin trembling. “Did you really…?”

“Tch.” Bakugou huffed, trying to hide a smile. “What, your eyes don’t work now, Cheeks?” he teased. 

“I just - ” Uraraka pinched herself, yelping at the pain, before a huge, toothy smile broke out across her face. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually did it.” 

“You did get on your knees and beg, so…” He shrugged, snickering as Uraraka approached the counter reverently, her face glowing in sheer joy. “Ten kinds of mochi, as fuckin’ promised.”

She turned to him pleadingly. “Can I…?” 

“I already took the photos.” He nodded at the spread, a rainbow of different colors delicately arranged with a pot of tea, ready to be eaten. “Go for it, babygirl.”

Uraraka already had a daifuku mochi halfway to her mouth, lips open as she got ready to take a bite, when an unfamiliar voice cut into the video. 

“Wait a second.” Both of them paused to look at the camera in confusion. “Did he just call you babygirl?” 

There was a beat of silence, before Uraraka’s face exploded into a bright red blush. Next to her, Bakugou quietly muttered, “Fuck.”

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

[Photo: an image featuring white sheets and pillows, a woman’s bare upper back, and messy brown hair with a woman’s face half-buried in a pillow]

Liked by dekiru, redkiri, and 541,803 others bakugoukatsuki: delicious u_ochako: UM bakugoukatsuki: @u_ochako did i lie though shouto: thank god fucking finally View all 6,248 comments

3 HOURS AGO

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jun 04, 2XXX RT @marsali: I. FUCKING. CALLED. IT. 

THIS IS WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF @marsali – 21m @retrograade THE SHIP HAS SAILED I REPEAT THE SHIP HAS SAILED #kacchako [media attached]

42 🗨️   3.8k ⭮   8.7k ♡

[polymathemawrites]

Restart in Recovery Mode Chapter Two

Cw: graphic descriptions of panic attacks, ptsd, severe trauma, depictions of injuries, drugs

Gordon gets a weed card (this isn’t as funny as it sounds)

20 Hours after Xen

He can't stand it, too bright, too much sun, and too much dog. He likes dogs, and now that Sunkist isn't a jpg he even likes him a lot more, albeit if he stares too long sometimes he does seem a little... flat... off in the distance. After the third dog licks his hand and reminds him he has a right hand, he has to sit down. It isn't his fault it's intimately ingrained in him to offer sniff-hand as dominant hand.

Tommy drifts onto the bench next to him, not too close, not too far. If Gordon needed to he could reach out and graze his fingers against the tie dye t-shirt the young man is wearing. Wait how old is Tommy again?

God, he feels so fucking old, he's only 27, he's pretty sure Tommy is in his thirties, the birthday was JUST yesterday.

"Are you alright, Mr. Freeman?" Tommy asks.

"Just a little winded."

Tommy makes a soft humming sound, out here, out of Black Mesa, the strange static tint to everyone's words had faded, hearing Tommy in crystal clear clarity made the whole traumatic situation somehow seem like a bad dream. The glaring bruises that tugged at him whenever he moved were pretty much singing in neon lights, 'hey fucker you just went through hell.' He can hear the ghost of a pleasant female voice whispering 'morphine administered.'

"Tommy, I need you to check me into rehab if I start buying street drugs at any point." He says apropos of absolutely nothing.

"Of course, Mr. Freeman! Do you want me to help you get a medical marijuana card?"

Gordon pauses, remembers college - not sleeping for two days, hyper-focused on his books, ink stained hands and his roommate passing him the blunt, the bright incandescent feeling of anxiety melting away like the clearest blue - "Actually, yeah."

Tommy takes him to a chain clinic and fills out the paperwork for him while he walks around the strip mall with Sunkist, he's pretty sure that it would be illegal for Tommy to come out of there with a weed card for him without him ever setting foot in the establishment but also that he's killed an unknown percentage of the US military so what even is legality at this point.

Sunkist barks and takes off down the intersection between two strip malls and Gordon blanches, following at a half-trot, body angrily telling him, hey fucknugget what do you think you're doing moving like that?

Turning the corner he sees Sunkist has stopped, paws up on the edge of a concrete and pebble garden decoration. It's like one of those needless blocks of concrete they put outside malls and fill with non-native flowers. But this one has a tree planted in the middle, a fountain under the tree, and a large number of shrine-like objects Gordon does not have the cultural connotations to decipher the meaning of. Sunkist is watching the water pour down the fountain and stays propped up there for Gordon to finally catch the dog's leash.

When he notices the face watching him from around the tree he screams, breaking the nice quiet serenity of the hidden courtyard.

Benrey puts his hands to his ears, his helmet-less head covered by the grey hood of a jacket, inhuman eyes scrunch up in pain, "shh, why you do a big loud?"

Gordon doesn't say what's fire hot and klaxon noise blaring in his skull, he doesn't say 'you're dead, we killed you' he turns, with Sunkist's leash in the iron grip of his hand, and walk-runs away, panting, vision blurring, his chest hurts, fuck is he having a heart attack?

Some distant sweet song of logic informs him in a voice that sounds nauseatingly like the HEV suit's AI, panic attack imminent.

Yeah no shit, he's in it.

He doesn't get fully around the corner, he's heaving, looses grip of Sunkist's leash, he's spinning in circles it can't possibly be the whole world spinning instead. Blindly he moves his hands to brace for something, his vision collapsing in on itself like he's going through a portal, like he's back in Black Mesa.

There is a hand on his arm, one at the back of his neck under the hot-heat of his ponytail. The world is blue like a '98 vintage pop song.

When the edges of his vision clear, when he finds himself again, Sunkist is leaning against his legs and has him pressed up to a wall, the courtyard is empty - just the two of them.

Tommy's voice comes from far away like at the bottom of a well, Gordon registers slowly that no, it's him who is just fucked up not hurry lassie, Tommy’s fallen down a well. His hearing hasn't come back completely, still partially stuck in that hellish panic-tunnel. Sunkist keeps him from moving, from falling down, and then Tommy is there, nervously fidgeting in front of him, not touching, just anxiety incarnate. Or that was him, ha.

"Did you see him? Did you see that eldritch fucktruck?" Gordon slurs, looking, searching.

"Who?"

Gordon bites it down, he's too raw to admit he's probably hallucinating. Shakes his head, still trembling.

Tommy drops him off at home with overpriced pharmaceutical grade weed and the reminder that he's just a phone call away. Gordon has to assure him he's fine a total of 5 times. He's not fine, he's so far away from fine.

Listening to his son on the phone, his sister telling him about the craft fair she'd be working tomorrow, he lays on the floor of his living room and smokes like he did in college, till the world goes soft. His sister reminds him to eat enough protein before she hangs up. He hasn't eaten all day, but it's too late to get up now, the fucking world is melting.

When a hand touches his hair, the side of his face, he opens his eyes to see Benrey crouched over him, body tucked up above his head, looking down at Gordon not with a shit-eating grin or nothing at all but instead a look of anxiety and something Gordon is too fucking high to quantify right now. He laughs, a warm sound that rumbles through his chest, this doesn't seem to make Benrey feel any better, Gordon doesn't understand why, he thinks shit is hilarious.

"Yo, are you real bro?" Gordon asks.

"i coulda done this for free, i do it all the time, for you, be a cool, and what, you dont need me? gordon too good for black mesa sweet voice?"

"You said my name again." Is what Gordon chooses to take out of that exchange.

He's pretty sure when he wakes up later he's stress-hallucinating some kind of horror-terror. There isn't therapy for this, is there?

[bubbyleh]

I See La Vie en Rose - Chapter 7

cw for mentions of past character death and limb loss (not explicit)

Chapter 7: Hitch a Ride

Tommy: Hey this is gonna sound weird but Tommy: Do you want to meet my nephew?

Darnold ♡: You have a nephew?

Tommy: Not like. Biologically. Tommy: You’ve met Gordon and Benrey! He’s their kid, his name is Joshua.

Darnold ♡: Oh! Darnold ♡: I didn’t realize they were together!

Tommy: Yeah, they have been for a while. Tommy: But, uh… Tommy: I can’t really get into it, but things have been tense lately? And it’s mainly centering around Gordon :( Tommy: Everything’s fine! But Tommy: I kinda wanna take Joshua out for a day, you know? Tommy: And I’m asking you to come with

Darnold ♡: Of course! Darnold ♡: I heard the museum has free admissions for kids tomorrow. Do you think that’s a good idea?

☆○☆○☆

Tommy: Benrey?

Benrey!!!: oh hey Benrey!!!: ur awake Benrey!!!: why

Tommy: Why are you awake? :(

Benrey!!!: cant sleep

Tommy: Is it Gordon?

Benrey!!!: yeah hes Benrey!!!: i dont know Benrey!!!: why are you texting me? u can come over?

Tommy: I’m kind of comfy in bed right now Tommy: And it’s late Tommy: And Tommy: Is it fair to say I don’t want to? :(

Benrey!!!: oh more than fair

Tommy: But I want to ask you something Tommy: I was talking with Darnold Tommy: NOTHING SPECIFIC! Tommy: Trust me. Tommy: But he suggested, and I agree, that we could maybe take Joshua to the museum tomorrow?

Benrey!!!: i dont know man Benrey!!!: i feel like feetman would yell at me if i let joshy head down now Benrey!!!: if he yells at all Benrey!!!: hes just been so quiet lately Benrey!!!: i hate this

Tommy: I really wish you’d talk to us, Benrey. Tommy: I hate to say it, but Tommy: Maybe we could have avoided this :(

Benrey!!!: … Benrey!!!: maybe

Tommy: I think getting out will do Joshua some good, though? Tommy: We can have a fun day! Tommy: It’s just that Tommy: All this stuff! Gordon not acting like himself! Whatever’s going on with you Tommy: He’s in the same house as that Tommy: So I think NOT being in the same house will help?

Benrey!!!: wait

Tommy: What?

Benrey!!!: gordon not Benrey!!!: i think u have a point Benrey!!!: about a few things Benrey!!!: yeah u can take joshy down tomorrow Benrey!!!: ill make sure gordon agrees just Benrey!!!: dont come back until i tell you okay? Benrey!!!: i think i can fix this

Tommy: Yeah?

Benrey!!!: yeah Benrey!!!: make sure joshy gets something at the gift shop Benrey!!!: get something for me too?

☆○☆○☆

The next day is overcast, but Tommy’s not sure that it’ll be rainy by the time they leave. Still, he has Joshua grab his jacket before they leave, just in case. Not that it’s actually possible for either of them to catch a cold, but getting soaked isn’t fun!

“Re-remember Joshua,” Tommy says as they approach the museum. “Darnold is a friend, but the- the rules still apply!”

Toomy feels Joshua nod into his back, which is a good enough response when you’re giving someone a piggyback ride. Joshua loves asking Tommy for piggyback rides, though it’s more a result of Tommy being the tallest than any special uncle privileges.

“Is, um,” Joshua asks. “Is this the guy my dad says is your special friend?”

Tommy holds back a laugh. With everything happening, he hasn’t actually gotten a chance to share his updated relationship status with everyone. “What are- what are your dads telling you?”

Joshua, being three years old, caves in immediately. “Um! They say that there’s a guy you really like, and you want to kiss him and marry him someday!”

“Marry!?” Tommy exclaims. “I mean, I-I like him and all, but marriage is a… it’s a little ways off right now.”

Pouting, Josh swings his legs. “But I wanna go to a wedding! I wanna go to a party after a wedding!”

“Weddings are mostly boring, actually. I was- I was at your dads’.” Tommy says. “Hey, climb on my shoulders. Try to- to find Darnold for me.”

While Joshua does comply, he complains as he crawls up. “I don’t know what he looks like!”

Tommy sighs, unlocking his phone and handing it up to Joshua. “Look through the gallery, he’s- he’s in there.”

There’s a moment of silence and Joshua navigates through Tommy’s phone. “Woah!” he shouts. “Why do you have so many pictures of him?!”

“He’s my boyfriend, I- I like having pictures of him,” Tommy explains. Joshua blows a raspberry down at him.

A hand tugs as Tommy’s sleeve from behind, and after turning his head, there’s Darnold. “Hey-” he starts, but is cut off when Tommy places a finger over his own lips.

“Do you, uh… do you see anything u-up there?” Tommy asks, and though he’s speaking to Joshua, he’s looking right at Darnold.

Joshua sighs. “Uncle Tommy, I don’t think he’s here.” He presses his face into Tommy’s propeller cap. “I guess we just have to go into the museum without him.”

“Oh, but I really- I really like him!” Tommy pretends to whine, and Darnold covers his smile with a hand. “Try looking a little bit lower? He’s kinda short.”

That earns him a jab from Darnold’s elbow, which he wasn’t exactly undeserving of. However, Joshua feels the jolt, and their little game is done.

“L-look Josh! There he is!” Tommy acts surprised. He lifts Josh off his shoulders and places him on the ground.

“Hey there, Joshua!” Darnold finally gets to greet them. “I’m Darnold. It’s a pleasure to meet you!” He offers his hand mostly as a joke, but Joshua does end up taking it and giving his best attempt at a handshake, albeit appearing confused the whole time.

“Hi,” Joshua manages. “Uh. I don’t really hear about you.”

“No?” Darnold chokes back a laugh. “Does, uh… does Tommy not talk about me?”

Joshua shakes his head. “No, he talks about you with the grownups. We talk about dogs! And cowboys!”

“Dogs and cowboys?” Darnold looks up at Tommy, smirking.

“He’s three,” Tommy defends himself. “There’s not a lot of- of topics to cover.”

☆○☆○☆

After paying their admission (Tommy insisted on paying for Darnold’s, after all, being a god allows one access to a healthy sum of money), Tommy swipes a pamphlet and begins to look through the museum’s different exhibits. They’re stopped for a moment, because Joshua’s shoe was untied and he wanted to show Darnold that he learned how to tie it last week, but his hands are so small and it is so difficult. Anatomy, no. Dinosaurs, definitely. He judges them, one by one, until a specific exhibit catches his eye.

“Hey Joshua, my- I lost the ability to read.” Tommy places the pamphlet in front of him and points to a specific line. “Can you tell me what that says?”

Forgetting about his shoe, Joshua squints at the paper. Ugh, he might be taking after Gordon in the eyesight department. How are you supposed to get a child god with no actual birth certificate prescription glasses?

“T… th… the w…” Joshua sounds out. “The wil...d… we… st? The wild west?” His eyes light up immediately. “Cowboys!? They have cowboys!?”

“A cowboy exhibit?” Darnold leans over to check out the pamphlet. “Huh, would you look at that.”

“Are we- are we heading there first?” Tommy addresses the other two.

“Yeah!” Joshua throws his arms in the air and jumps off the bench. He takes off in a random direction. “Cowboys! Cowboys! Cowb-”

“Wait, Joshua! Your shoelace!”

Smack!

☆○☆○☆

The moment they step into the Wild West exhibit, Joshua stops sniffling and rubbing his red cheek, instead excitedly wiggling out of Tommy’s arms, marvelling at the presentations around him as if it were a candy store. Realizing that he’ll be

murdered

if he doesn’t capture this moment, Tommy pulls out his phone.

“So,” Darnold asks. “What’s with the cowboy thing?”

Tommy chuckles. “It was- Benrey showed him Toy Story 2, as a joke. He- he really liked it, kinda went from there.”

“Not Toy Story 1?”

“Joshua has never seen Toy Story 1.” Tommy snaps a few photos of Josh, making a mental note to send them to everyone later.

Tommy and Darnold end up mostly dragged along by Joshua, who constantly runs ahead and then doubles back to get them to read a placard for him. Josh seems to take a liking to Darnold, which Tommy is thrilled to see. Occasionally, Tommy will reach to hold hands with Darnold, only to find that Joshua has beaten him to it.

If it wasn’t so cute, Tommy would be a little angry.

“Look! Look!” Joshua shouts and points. “Real cowboys! Real pictures of real cowboys!”

“Heh,” Darnold remarks, nodding towards one of the black and white photos. “That one kind of looks like your dad, Joshy.”

Tommy is frozen.

Joshua grabs onto Darnold’s shirt. “Lift me! I wanna see!” Darnold complies, and when he lays eyes on the portrait, Joshua gasps. “That- that looks just like Daddy!”

The man in the photograph has the same chin, the same cheeks, same nose. But he’s so different too. His hair isn’t pulled back into a ponytail, but rather falls down around his shoulders. One of his hands isn’t ghostly and transparent, instead something flesh and whole. He’s smiling, and Tommy can’t remember the last time he saw that smile genuinely.

“Let’s see here.” Darnold reads the plaque underneath. “The Free Man, date unknown. The Free Man spent his days hunting down violent offenders in the west for private individuals. He disappeared, and his fate remains unknown.”

Not unknown. Tommy gulps.

That doesn’t just look like Gordon. That is Gordon.

It’s easy to forget. Gordon’s been around for two and a half centuries at this point, and Tommy didn’t know him before that. He doesn’t know the man in the photograph, who let his hair down and laughed and still had two hands. Who lived and had a beating heart. Who was betrayed and killed in a cave in the desert.

Tommy doesn’t like to think about the fact that Gordon was mortal once, and how he got to where he is.

He looks away. Tommy turns his head a full ninety degrees to the right, because he can’t look at this right now. He’s looking at another display, one with a small wagon, a plastic horse, and a skeleton standing upright. It’s nice, probably about trade, or ranchers, or-

Hang on a second.

“Maybe it’s an ancestor of yours or something?” Darnold theorizes. “What do you think, Tommy?”

Why is there a skeleton there?

“Uncle Tommy?”

[delusionalkiing]

Voltron Season 2 Thoughts

After having some time to process everything that happened, I wanted to do a write up about season two!  I’ll be going over everything I liked and everything I didn’t like (justice for Hunk and Lance plz!!).  I’ll be going over each episode briefly but most of my thoughts will be about the major characters!

Obviously, major spoilers are under the cut!

Episode 1: Across the Universe

Pretty strong season opener!  I’d have to say my favorite parts are Pidge’s junk friends and Allura and Coran’s time loop.  Coran getting younger and younger and poor Allura trying to save him was really good!  Especially when she says she saw him as another father!!  I wanted to cry!  Pidge missing her friends was so painful too.  Liked the Shiro and Keith part too and Keith asking black Lion to help him save Shiro!  Very nice!

Episode 2: The Depths

Oh man I have such mixed thoughts about this episode.  I really loved the underwater world, the mermaids and all the Hance interactions, as well as Lance unlocking a new weapon.

I disliked the continuous pushing of Lance trying to flirt with every mermaid lady... like... this is something I’ll bring up again later but I feel like they really just turned him into girl chasing comic relief.  Justice for Lance tbh.

Episode 3: Shiro’s Escape

I liked seeing how Shiro escaped!!  Though FUCK the Galra /took/ his hand, I always kinda assumed he lost it in the arena or something but fsfjlekjsflsfe SHIRO.  Someone give him a hug.  Ulaz was a really interesting character and the Blade of Marmora’s methods of hiding their bases are super interesting!  The fight was really neat too and Ulaz’s sacrifice was painful too, even though we barely knew him.

I also really liked how it was Shiro that brought up that not all Galra might be evil, despite everything he went through.

Episode 4: Greening the Cube

THE SPORE FIGHT WAS ADORABLE.  I really love moments like this where the paladins all bond together and stuff!  The alien race and their planet and nature tech was really awesome too.  I really love all the aliens races in this show, tbh.  They’re great!

And ahhh Pidge bonding more with her lion was really good!  And her new weapon is really cool and will definitely be useful in the future (and it was!)  I don’t have much else to say about this episode other than I really enjoyed it and the NGE references during the fight!

Episode 5: Eye of the Storm

ALTEAN BIOLOGY LMAO.  I wanted to know more about it but NOT LIKE THIS.

The Klance moments were HILARIOUS, as well as Pidge trying to learn Altean.  Hunk’s cooking did save the day, which was nice.  I just wish later episodes didn’t just focus on this aspect of him...

Not really much else to say about this episode really other than Coran was really funny and Zarkon chasing them was really tense.

Episode 6: The Ark of Taujeer

I found Allura and Keith’s talk in the pod really interesting!  I’m all for Allura having one of one moments with the younger Paladins and getting to know them better.

The design of the alien race made me laugh ahah they look soft.  I enjoyed this episode except for one thing: Hunk’s new power activation.  I kind of have the same issue with how Lance activated his.  Compared to Pidge, there wasn’t a huge focus on connecting with their lions??  Pidge had a whole scene but their power just sorta... happened in the middle of a tense situation and not separate from the fight.  Idk it would have been nice to see them have more of a connecting moment with their lion rather than wham bam new power.

But yeah, that’s about it.  Oh, Red saving Keith and Allura from so far away was great!!

Episode 7: Space Mall

Okay, I won’t lie, all the scenes that take place in the mall had me dying of laughter.  Pidge and Lance’s quest for money, Coran sneaking around, Hunk being Gordon Ramsay (would have been nice to have less food jokes with hunk tho...), and Keith getting distracted by knives lmao.  And the mall cop was HILARIOUS.  I love seeing the younger Paladins able to act like the kids they are despite the war.

ALL THE SHIRO SCENES MADE ME WANNA SCREAM.  Though I’m really glad his connection with the Black Lion got stronger and Black saved him and severed the connection with Zarkon!

Episode 8: The Blade of Marmora

THIS ENTIRE EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, first: The base hiding spot is SUPER COOL and really pretty looking!!  The Blade is also really interesting!  I’ve been waiting SO LONG to get something about Keith’s backstory!!  So of course I was screaming the entire time ahaha.

We were all right that Keith was galra BUT we got it wrong that Thace was his father!  His father is human and his mother is Galra and I LOVE THAT???  I want to know more about her??  Who is she??

And I’m so glad with the whole “Shiro, you’re like a brother to me” line because Keith has always acted kinda distant and like he has no family but he does!  I love that so much!

Also overprotective Red Lion!!!  I love Red’s connection with Keith!!

Episode 9: The Belly of the Weblum

THIS EPISODE WAS GROSS LMAO But I still loved it because of all the Hunk and Keith interactions!!    We finally get an episode with Hunk doing great stuff...  Him distracting the worm and putting himself in danger of the laser thing was so good.  THIS IS THE KIND OF HUNK CONTENT I WANT.

Also Keith saving a Galra was interesting!  I wonder if the Galra soldier will ever come back??  I really want to know more about them tbh...  It was interesting.

But yes, more good Hunk content like this and more Keith interactions with the other Paladins!!

Episode 10: Escape from Beta Traz

I really liked this episode because as someone with severe anxiety, I relate SO HARD to Slav LMAO.  Seeing more of Pidge’s tech genius was great and finding out that Matt is okay and escaped with some rebels is great!  (Though where is her father?????)  

I WAS SO HAPPY FOR THE LANCE CONTENT but it didn’t really go anywhere...  It sort of did with Shiro acknowledging that he’s a sharp shooter but other than that, nothing much else happened with it...  I really hope we get future episodes of Lance struggling with this!!  Please give my son the arc he deserves!!

Also I want the space dog thing it’s so CUTE AND BIG!!!

Episode 11: Stayin’ Alive

Allura!!!  I love her and her interactions with the Balmerans!  AND SHAY ASKING ABOUT HUNK <3  Her fighting the Robeast with the castle until the others arrived with great too.  Also this battle gave me more NGE vibes lmao...

And then at the end of the episode we see Allura being cold toward Keith for being Galra...  Which is understandable but I really dislike how they treat her as being bad for being scared... :/

Also, THACE.  You tried, buddy...

Episode 12: Best Laid Plans

This episode was SUPER TENSE and Keith and Thace interacting was really cool too.  The fighting was really cool and we see that Zarkon is SUPER OBSESSED with the Black Lion.  We still don’t really know WHY but its interesting to see his obsession.

I’m glad Allura talks to Keith and says she was scared and considers the Paladins her new family.  So I’m glad they didn’t really drag this out too much but like... Still not that happy with this plot thread.

Thace’s sacrifice HURT.

Episode 13: Blackout

Oh man this episode... The fight with Zarkon was SO COOL and ahhhhh and Shiro screaming for Allura when she’s injured and ahhhhhh!!!  Allura being a battle princess was SO COOL.  Her fighting Haggar and the other druids was great!!  And the reveal about Haggar... ahhh I wonder who she is???  Does she have a connection to the royal family??  I’m so... ahhhhhhh lmao.

Shiro getting the bayard back and the wings on the black lion....

I don’t really know how to say everything I feel but this was a really good finale.  That cliffhanger ending... WTFFFFF SHIRO WHERE ARE YOU...

Praying for Black Paladin Allura while they search for Shiro...

Final thoughts: 

I dont like how Lance and Hunk were really sidelined in this season.  I really hope that we get lots of character growth for the two of them in season 3!!

And that Shiro won’t die... please... where is he...

Also, it’s good to know we’ll be getting LGBT rep later on!!

CHARACTER THOUGHTS:

I’ll just go over the main characters!

Coran:  I love Coran so much lmao all of his scenes were really great and it’s nice to see him doing a lot of mechanical things!

Allura:  I LOVE HER I was so ready for her fighting in the last two episodes!!  I do wish they had handled her thing about Galra Keith differently...  But I’m happy she got to shine in combat AND unlock new magic???  That was SO COOL.  Also her interactions with Shiro... my heart...  Him calming her down by softly touching her hand was so good...

Shiro:  I love him SO MUCH.  I’m so worried about him!!  His bonding with the Black Lion, his scene with Allura and touching her hand softly, all the great brotherly scene with Keith ahhh this was a good season for Shiro development!  I feel like he didn’t get much development in s1 so this was really nice to see.  BUT THAT ENDING... IS HE OKAY???

Keith:  This was such a heavy Keith season (to the detriment of other characters...) but I was really hoping we’d get answers about his past.  We did get some!  Nice to know his mom is the Galra and his father is human!  His father reminded me of Shiro so maybe they are related??  Cousins or something?  Ugh I want more answers lmao vld s3 give us more answers but don’t ignore the others!

Lance:  MY POOR BOY.  I feel like he was reduced to being aggressively heterosexual comic relief sighs.  I was hopefully when we saw him doubting himself but they really didn’t do much with it... it was over really fast and like... ughhh flesh out his self doubts more please!!

Hunk:  MY OTHER POOR BOY.  I love that Hunk is funny, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like 95% of his content this season was food jokes and talking about food.  I feel like the only ep that really let him shine somewhat was the Weblum episode.  Can we please have more content like that??  Hunk being brave??  Even when his lion got a new power, it was barely touched on, just like Lance’s was.  PLEASE GIVE THESE BOYS GOOD STORY ARCS.

Pidge:  MY TINY DAUGHTER.  I love that her tech stuff got to shine more in this season.  And I’m so glad that she found out that Matt is okay but I don’t know why they didn’t talk about her father??  Like... he’s missing too...  But I think this was a pretty good season for Pidge!

SO YEAH, those are my thoughts!  I really hope we get more character development in future seasons and that the LGBT rep we were promised comes soon lmao

[astralworld-blog1]

Donald Marshall (Wed. April 25, 2012) - UPDATE---> Well they got me last night bad, Elizabeth had me in a small room just off the concourse of the main arena of the cloning center, said so I'm a pig-faced smelly hag am I? smiling at me. I said "yes you are among many other things a child murderer a drunk a senile pervert and a remarkable pathetic loser" all said with a straight face, I was chained to a black wooden cross, upright on a wooden base, been there many times, she leaned in and bit me on my cheek growled and shook her head around like a dog, then grabbed my testicles and crushed them in her hand slowly, all the while shaking her retarded fat head around, snarling wierdlike. Trying to look evil for the others in the auditorium who don't even like her, I couldnt breath or scream just seized up couldn't curl up into a fetal position, was chained hand and foot to the cross,... then she let go and left the room laughing saying something I missed, was too hurt to register it. Then Phil Reece came into the room, said oh Donny she's furious, as if she has a right to be. I said leave me alone retard in a messed up voice, could barely talk, he said you called us heathen filthy perverts Donny, you said god hates us and your talking about us too much, I shrugged said its true and I have no choice but to talk about this, he started punching me, face head body just kept going then he had a bat and was literally smacking me in the face with it,... all went black, Ah I was whole again and in the main arena in a new clone, still shaky and messed up from the last death, couldn't walk or talk good for a while, when I could, my mother and the Cohoons (her married in family) were talking to me from the front row, just behiond the hockey boards, saying so Donny were a bunch of Gaolers are we? (Gollers Incestious pedophile perverts) The Cohoons think theyre celebrities themselves there just because they know me. Think I'm theyre link to the stars at the cloning center, so they were talking down to me for a while, the celebs don't even like them, they told them themselves, they think theyre some of the grossest human beings there are for selling me out theyre own relative (married in) the celebs like to think well yeah I do scummy stuff at the cloning center but at least I'm not like one of those Cohoons. The Cohoons came out and attacked me Gordon Tom and Tony ,brothers, step father and 2 step uncles, smashed me all up bad for "insulting" they're good name and including them in the letter which theyve done before. Then all went black again and I was on that cross in the main arena now, whole body again, and who was looking at me when my vision cleared MILA KUNITZ!!! Actress from that 70's show, "Go on Mila" Elizabeth said... Miss Kunitz was shaking and looking down, I said what the hell do you want you scummy little whore? Oh you gonna hurt me? what a surprise. She said I'm mad at how you said I look like a ring tailed lemur, saying my eyes are huge in your letter" I said yes I did and whatcha gonna do? your eyes are abnormally large yes and I included you in the letter because you hurt me WHILE I was writing it. So too bad bitch go back to your home planet, She brought a bat up and pointed it at my face, I said " oh my a bat" she was shaking as if she didn't think it was right, then Elizabeth said "Mila!" and she started smashing me with it vertically, hit right above the forehead then top of head top of head, and she kept going, all went black. Elizabeths ugly pig face apperaed then, around her head cleared and she said smugly, were not afraid Dun, we will be bringing you here for the rest of your life you will make the new songs or you will be tortured." I said nothing, was too dizzy and messed up from the hurt before, she said just kidding Dun, this was a grand finale smiling, were not bringing you heya anymore, your boring anyway, stop talking about us or we will bring you back for more. My hearts weak today. Help me spread that letter my friends or I am going to die. DOC2 (document part2) will be coming very soon.

they want me alive to possibly keep me going there for songs and torture, they can't shut down my facebook, they say there its free speech and no one will believe me, well thats what they DID say, most believe me now, they WERE gonna take out my fb but said no one will believe me, then they did and they said its too late anyway. They threaten to kill me all the time, but said I've done too much to be killed, I said all this in the letter g they aint gonna kill me they say, and the only thing that seems to bother them and scare them is me mailing the letter and the upcoming DOC2.

takes hours of consistant torture to kill someone dead in real life,... they had to cut up Bernie Macs guts for 4 or 5 hours before he had an aneurysm the next day,... they get me for half hour at a time, then talkie talk then hurts then talkie talk, make a song and get no torture, make them,... you would too... ever heard of Nazi tooth torture? it's not good. I think theyre just trying to make me think theyre not concerned with the letter spread, but they are, theyre frantic... and tell me when I make DOC2 they may have to kill me.

different people suffer different effects from clone torture, common are heart trouble (me) similarities to syndromes like aspergers or adhd add different things, some peoples liver quivers, they even put that in a song somewhere. They can mess ya up in lots of ways, David Thorpe this is all true most know it's true, why don't you? Told you my nephew is speaking out about them too at the right time, I'm asking people to give me and others low level members and then high ups polygraph tests, I'm constructing DOC2 which will be so long it will take days with my limited library computer access it will contain the names of everyone I have ever seen there what theyve done there to people as clones and in real life and other things theyve done technologies they have that do wierd stuff,... other than that what the hell else CAN I do, I'm a poor 36 year old man with no connections against the richest and most powerful people in the world, in the biggest most powerful corrupt cult the world has ever seen. I have no choice but to inform the world about them. Theyre torturing me, you'd understand if they clone stabbed you even once David. I have no choice, the only thing they fear is the populace knowing about it and polygraph tests. The police and Rcmp high ups all go there, theyre loyal to the crown... someone help me. It's true. it's all true and theres much more... it'll be a long letter , just the names alone will be pages. But you all will know everything I know. A lot of content. even though just the pickton murders should do em in. Some rich people went to picktons house and ate some pieces of the hookers on a barbeque just to see what human flesh Real human tastes like, because they have it igrained into theyre heads that to be evil is cool so the nerds walk around trying to talk like gothic vampires all dark and mysterious and evil n stuff, theyre rich and politically powerful cowardly perverts hiding in the shadows messing with cloned people and children,... makes em feel powerful, oooh evil slavemaster,... its just a technological advantage they use against people, no defence against it, no way to get caught, pedophiles paradise, seriously, and it must be stopped,... if I die writing DOC 2 continue to spread awareness about cloning guys, worlds only hope. Seriously I know it sounds heavy but it's true this is the time. Do something soon or be slaves to them forever, they can clone nearly anyone. People with Riley Day syndrome cant be cloned for some reason, wish I had that syndrome.

dont waste your time thinking reptiles demons or aliens, its just cloning, they LIKE people talking about the other stuff, even throw some bs out in movies and stuff to keep people thinking of the possibilities, make em think anything as long as its NOT cloning, don't have em asking questions about that. This is happening in the physical Dawnatilla, it's a place small sports arena, with small dome (I call it the diddle dome) they hate that, its isolated and I don't know the location, but Steven Harper does, along with many others,... half them there don't know where it is, just get cloned in as they call it. Speilberg goes there knows about me even talked to me about movies there and stories, because of all the songs, they started thinking I would be good at other things, everyone wanted to meet me there. If I couldnt help them or give em a good idea or story or song, they would literally torture me in different ways while the others watched, some cry some puke some laugh some masterbate, its bad and someone has to do something, they do lotsa other stuff, in real life too, then watch the evil video at the cloning center as clones... spread the truth about them to the four corners of the earth.

[tigerdrop]

king u gonna elaborate on virgin benrey

 listen i have kiryu “is 100% a virgin at the ripe old age of 37, and this is appealing to me instead of fucking hilarious″ kazuma disease and it has followed me here. also this kind of branches into a completely different kink at the end b/c i am diseased

so you know how i write "obviously fucks good and hard all the time" benrey. well........you know.......like..........what if......................he didnt. what if he was. what if he had never fucked before in his life and his incessant flirting finally works and hes like "i did not expect to get this far."

envision, if u will, the delightful awkwardness of virgin benrey + "has never had sex with a dude before" gordon

ive definitely brought up the possibilities of gordon going all science-brain on null benrey before but i think it works just as well on virgin benrey too. its a learning experience for both of them and if theres one thing gordons good at, its research. and gordon probably gets way too up in his own head about making sure he does this shit right and spends a lot of sleepless nights googling "how to have sex with dudes" and, you know, researching, 

if benreys not the one fucking babying him thru his first gay experiences he is probably going to bungle it so fucking badly and i think it would be really funny 

alternatively please consider gordon being so fucking neurotic about benrey never having done this shit before that he avoids the subject as hard as possible, thinking that hes gonna dick it up hardcore, but the whole time benreys just thinking "bro i havent had my dick touched in [however long hes been alive]. come on". the tension

furiously making out with him behind a fucking crate in black mesa and then realizing this is Going Places and gordons voice breaks as he says, way too loud, "I GOTTA UHHH GO RELOAD MY SMG. RIGHT NOW"

you think gordon is touch starved ? no. Hell with this 

Im just tsying theres no evidence hes been touched at all by another human being in his life before this. if hes video game in real he benrey noclip out of being touched 

what if he like, chooses not to noclip/not feel....ON that time gordon catches him. just cuz hes curious, a gay impulse. or maybe hes so surprised (and gay) he forgets to avoid it

and oh, to be in gordon freeman's gentle grasp. makes him into an unholy annoyance of awkward gayness for the rest of the series

YEAS.......also he has definitely thought hard about sucking gordons dick but doesnt actually have any idea how he would go about it. hes just heard its cool

giddy thinking about the scenario where its actually benrey whos terrible at sucking dick b/c hes never done it before and gordon who actually does suck dick like a champ

i know that this is literally the plot of the very first serious nsfw fic in this fandom but still. virgin beney. benrey getting sucked off for the first time in his entire life and shaking like a fucking leaf......

Power trip of Gordon realizing this guy whose been hitting on him the whole time has no idea what to actually do 

Gordon Freeman Gives Benrey A Prostate Exam

its a joke but its not a joke. virgin benrey being vaguely aware that being fucked by gordon freeman would be cool, in theory, but not fully conceptualizing of how you actually get a dick in your ass until gordons like "what?? no, dude, you cant just stick it in there" and gives him a demonstration and thats how benrey discovers he has a prostate 

benrey like "idgi man this just feels weird. when do we get to theohhh my god what. what that" and gordons like "what, u mean this?" (curls his fingers again) mean smirk hours

i want him to make a squeaky little noise when gordon says that and curls his fingers again, and gordon's like "ha- knew he'd like it" and keeps kneading him a while; but oops, suddenly benrey's coming with an even squeakier noise 

gordon's so surprised he just keeps going, hes like, not comprehending until benys whining at him to stop

a thought: benreys not good at "being human" and probably doesnt actually know whats supposed to happen when u nut so every time hes been jackin it he just does it until it starts to be Just A Little Too Much and then hes like "mission accomplished" and stops. imagine his fucking surprise when  gordons jerking him off and he doesnt stop and hes like "wh ha hu what the fuck i already got off bro" and gordon just stares at him and the distinctive lack of cum on his hand and s like ".......did you?  you sure about that one." 

tl;dr benrey squirming and babbling and digging his fingers into gordons back as he begs him to keep going, he doesnt know whats gonna happen and hes feeling totally overwhelmed b/c gordons pushing him further than hes ever been pushed and he keeps inadvertently trying to wriggle away b/c its So Much but gordon, maybe, pins down his hips so he can get benrey off For Real....... 

even better if its when gordons sucking him off for the first time so he can wrap his arms and hands around benreys thighs to keep them spread wide open and firmly in place 

knees shaking and thighs jumping constantly 

and benrey has no idea when its supposed to be over so he cant even warn gordon properly. he just keeps getting louder and louder....... 

maybe even.......completely hunched over gordon......pushing him down on his dick with his hands in his hair....... 

alternating between babbling "stop" and "dont stop" b/c hes stupid 

eventually gordon gets so sick of benrey not being able to decide whether he wants to shove gordon onto his dick or yank him off that he just pulls off and says "look, man, do you trust me?" b/c he would really like to just get benrey to stop edging himself here 

UNINTENTIONAL OVERSTIMULATION.......THE TEARS........HHHHHHH

and he eventually gets benrey to nod furiously at him that he trusts him and gordons just like, okay, im not gonna stop then. im gonna keep going. and.......he does 

eyes glazed, hair sticking to him with sweat, hips all twitchy, dick all red, face also all red 

sucking benrey dry until hes over sensitive....... 

He started off spasming then he’s rocking into Gordon’s face by the time he’s wailing his name. Panting and gasping like he’s fucking DROWNING 

gordon meanwhile almost nuts in his pants from the fuckin show that benreys puttin on for him and hes not even trying. hes just Like This. gordons got jerkoff material for the next month just thinking about the way benrey wails his name and clutches his hair tight 

benreys like (slurred) 'u gonna jack off or sumn.......was it not hot'. gordon fighting with every cell of his body not to scream "WAS IT NOT HOT?"

trying to decide what would be hotter: gordon jacking off while hes on his knees with his head resting on benreys thigh or jerking off on benreys stomach and.....r.......rubbing it in

benrey watching gordon cum and feeling a whole new context for it cause now he knows how good it feels and gets turned on again faster-

thinking.......about.......th. next time. now that benreys figured it out. he gives it a try on his own time and hes so surprised that it works that he goes up to gordon like "yo. check this out. i figured out how to jack it" and gordon has the most unimpressed look on his face imaginable 

"proud of you, buddy. am i good to go back to watching storage wars, or" "you wanna uhhh.....wanna see it maybe?" and that changes his entire tune

imagining benrey being so fucking bad at it still that he keeps doing the start-stop shit b/c its so intense and hes not used to it and the thing that actually gets him to finish is gordon, pants down to his knees and fisting his own dick like he might die tomorrow, leaning forward and telling him that hes got this, benreys gonna come for him, right? come for gordon? 

gordon fucking telling him "dont stop" WRT jerking himself off and benrey just listening to him and pushing himself is ruining my fuckin mind 

its a really good thought......i love how it plays into non-human benrey having to figure out human stuff........makes me crayz

probably keeps being sensitive for a long while too........ (mumbling very very quietly) and if hes so sensitive from never being touched before......maybe hes kind of........uhhh..................ticklish

new layers to the whole "oh my god its too much stop it" + "i actually dont want you to stop touching" thing .. . . .. . . . + gordon powertripping when he realizes whats going on with him and why he keeps jerking away and trying not to laugh when gordon touches him like on his stomach or his sides

benrey accidentally jerks too hard and knees gordon in the dick from how ticklish he feels just from like, hands on his sides or something

i was actually thinking about......like.......gordon laying on the ground and suffering (because why wouldnt i be thinking about gordon suffering) and deciding that enough is enough and offering to.......desensitize benrey. you know. for his own health

you know. uhhh. tying up his arms and legs, perhaps, and. you know. "do not noclip through these. i swear to god, benrey, if you kick me in the dick again" 

i'm think about benrey begging gordon to stop, so he does, to check if this is a Forreal stop or a "hahah nooo~" stop, and benrey asks him through gasps to keep fucking tickling him (except he just says smth to the effect of ."gh.. ....keep doing it dude wuhdah hell...") and gordon gets an evil fucking grin and just feels on top of the world "yeah?? think you can handle it, huh???" and just destroys him. benrey thinks about gordon's horny manic face for weeks 

neither of them had a thing for this before this point but the combination of feeling like hes being tickled and gordons hands on him for the first time making him mad horny gives benrey a brand new fucking fetish. gordons manic fucking face im so glad we are on the same wavelength about that

i truly hate my own posts. incurable. diseased

[tigerdrop]

okay kind of obsessed with the body swap art tho. idk why i just like benrey getting to bully gordon with his own body, his own voice, and i like gordon trying to navigate whatever weird shit benrey’s got going on. gordon not being able to figure out or control whatever organs in benrey’s throat produce sweet voice so it’s just spewing whatever emotions he’s feeling at random (including Horny? uh oh. can’t hide that as easily as a surprise boner can you gordon?)

this ask kicked me into actually thinking about it and your brain is so huge. massive. i lost control

last night i was struggling to articulate thoughts for the body swap thing but this is kickstarting me. i. really love bodyswap stuff........(sighing) i am yet again having to confront the fact that i latched onto an embarrassing number of Things after having first read about them in [REDACTED]. truly hate being alive

so like......potions. you can get into a whole lot of weird stuff with potions. truly loving that darnolds 5-minute existence gives me an excuse to think of the stupidest horny potions scenarios

and why in the fuck wouldnt he have a bodyswap potion just chillin in his lab. why wouldnt benrey crack that bad boy open and take a sip while darnolds bitching at him "dont you touch any of those goddamn potions. im not gonna tell you which ones which so if you die, you die"

gordon claps benrey on the back afterwards like "well, thats a risk im perfectly happy for him to take" but uh oh you fucking buffoon. the touch is what activates it. and shit just starts spinning and schlorping in his mind and he nearly falls over clutching the lab bench next to him and when he cracks his eyes back open, hes........shorter. and everybodys asking if somebodys okay but that somebody isnt him and hes kind of miffed about that

and then gordons head turns and he sees Himself being steadied on his feet by tommy and darnold and hes like.......guys? guys. hello! and the sound of benreys voice coming out of him with that irritated and loud timbre makes everybody turn to face him........b/c that is so insanely weird coming from him

im like way into the idea of benreys, like, Eye Darkness Thing transferring to gordons face when their bodies are swapped, too. its just his malevolent energies manifesting physically no matter what body hes in

Wait god wait. Like. Benrey in Gordon's body and he gets horny for some reason and has to live Gordon's fucking pained life of the suit edging the hell outta him- Bc now Gordon can actually fucking jerk off for the the first time in days. No edging bullshit from the hev suit

benreys newfound appreciation for why gordons such a bitch all the time

RRRRRRRRRRR gordon able to go wild beating his meat that night finally but right before he does he stops because hes looking down at. 8)!

YES EXACTLY....... gordon freeman humbled by the sight of benreys huge meat. except its his meat now 

at first he only feels mildly weird about jacking it when hes not even in his own body right now but hes been edged for days now and hes just thinking "if i can just get this out of the way now, ill be clear-headed for however fucking long im stuck in black mesa. maybe this is why ive been so goddamn stupid lately. yeah"

but then he gets some time and space to himself at long last and unzips and the shock of seeing benreys huge uncut dick instead of his own brings him back to reality like "?oh my god what the fuck am i doing"

embarrassment! guilt! but also hes still fuckin horny and eventually curiosity wins out. whats the harm, right. its not like he has to say anything about it. and gordon freeman is (mostly) heterosexual and hes never been this up close and personal with a foreskin before and hes just......curious. scientifically

maybe hes even.......locked himself inside one of the company restrooms while hes at it. just to make sure hes got privacy. and there is a mirror right there........  he was gonna just bust one out and leave as fast as he can but now hes curious

starts. thumbing the hem of his shirt under benreys vest. starts lifting it up experimentally just to see where all that hair leads. out of curiosity. and seeing the curve of benreys stomach peek out in the mirror makes him hiccup on sweet voice inadvertently 

weirdly enough theres a part of him thats both relieved and disappointed that hes never seen that color before

he never envisioned that seeing benrey like this would be a turn-on but like......with that vest and that helmet on he just looks like some kind of fuckin roundish rectangle shape. but now gordons intimately familiar with how his body feels to move around in......what hes gotta look like underneath all that armor and ill-fitting work clothes......and the hornier he gets the stupider he gets

takes off the helmet.......just to test the waters. if somebody manages to bust in, thats not so weird to explain. and hes surprised by the shock of black hair he finds under there. he doesnt know what he was expecting....but honestly, benrey looks, like, kind of nice like that. more like a person

im slightly obsessed with the idea of benrey just not even registering as a Real Guy, physically, to gordon, one that he could possibly be attracted to, until hes out of his work uniform.......like hes more of an icon of a person than anything up until that point. pure signifier. no substance

like......you know......the equivalent of how benreys HL model registers to 99% of people watching the series. sure, thats not necessarily anything youd register as "hot", most likely, but then u peel that away and its like........Oh

the model is the icon and the representation of the icon is the real

and gordon runs a hand thru benreys hair and tries out one of those shitty little smirks benrey likes to use on him and the effect is.......dizzying. is that him? is that what benrey really looks like to him?? he feels fuckin salacious doing this

he can even.........get his face up close to the mirror and really look at those teeth

run his tongue over them experimentally.......feel their sharp edges.......and, no, theyre not sharp like a knife, but they are definitely pointy. and surprisingly well-kept......hes never seen benrey brush his teeth before but clearly he must. theyre so smooth and slick under his fingertips

and then he flushes and drops his hand b/c hes getting some weird fucking thoughts right now........but looking back up at himself in the mirror and seeing benreys face all wide-eyed and red makes the issue worse

oh, you really like seeing him look like that, dont you. and gordons pissed b/c this isnt even his fucking brain but its still whispering the exact same neurotic, self-defeating shit at him that hes trying very hard to tamp down

and then he starts getting a little crazier. taking off the vest. he can explain that, no problem. its just kind of hot. heavy. he needed a breather! its normal. just in here to splash some water on his face and cool down, nothing wrong with that. but that just makes benreys shirt all the easier to access.......and he tugs the hem of it just a little higher and looks at himself in the mirror and runs a thumb over the curve of his stomach, where the hair is thickest, and he shivers

gordon freeman is deeply normal and would never get off to the sight of a guy with arms the size of his head tentatively dragging the hem of his shirt up, just for gordon to look at him closer

hands shaking from nerves as he decides to loosen his tie and start unbuttoning and he sees more and more hair-dusted skin and muscle and fat and a thin sheen of sweat reveal itself

> i could see gordon trying to tense and flex the muscles a bit just because hes normal

HE IS, AND HE WOULD

he doesnt know when "being horny b/c hes been pent up and edged for days and he just needs to get his rocks off real quick so he can be normal again" turned into "being horny b/c the way benrey looks under his uniform is scary good to him" but if he thinks about that too hard hes gonna have a panic attack

tells himself that its all just because he hasnt been able to get off. thats why hes thinking this shit. hell stop thinking it once he nuts

> hey this is a quick aside but yknwo how he talks to himself in third person sometimes? what if he does and then kinda does a mental double take at how his name sounds coming out of benreys mouth, with his voice. ok thats it goodbye

oh ym god thats making me go insane. doing it by accident and then.........saying it again. on purpose. just to hear benreys voice doing it

getting one knee hitched up onto the sink and leaning forward with his arm braced against the mirror and his forehead leaning on his arm and tugging benreys dick (no, idiot, thats your dick right now, stop thinking about it) and tentatively groaning out his own name and it comes out so hoarse and desperate that it punches him straight in the gut (too bad, hes thinking about it, he cant not think about it, not with the way he looks and sounds right now)

> remember in the series when benrey called him gordon one (1) time and he noticed immediately and was like..i think thats the first time youve called me by my name.

he looks so fucked out and slutty in that mirror that it almost makes him pass out

eyes darting like hes trying to commit every single detail of how he looks right now to memory (b/c he is. he fucking is. he wants to make benrey look like this so fucking bad. just for him. wreck him and get him flushed and sweaty and panting and moaning gordons name and jesus christ, okay, thats where his brains taking him. okay. cool)

hes dizzying himself thinking about it. he knows benreys hot for him by this point, theoretically. assuming his weird come-ons werent just jokes. benrey would probably let him do this to him. benrey would probably want him to touch his dick. gordon thinks about how good it might feel for his own hand to be on benreys dick and he cant get himself solidly into one headspace or another - hes gordon, hes benrey, he wants to touch, he wants to be touched, he wants to feel his own hand on this dick (and god, maybe he could. maybe he could ask. wouldnt that be crazy.)

benrey in gordons suit and gordons body and gordons face leaning over him, b/c fuck, he really is tall compared to benrey, hes figured that one out awful quick. and gordons (his) hand on his (benreys) dick and stroking him and leering down at him with those dark, dark eyes that dont even really look like his eyes, anymore, not with the way theyre shaded over, and hearing his (benreys) (his) voice moaning out his (gordons) (definitely gordons) name and all the little "pleases" and "thank yous" that he cant stop letting out b/c benreys voice was made for it, made to beg and whine and ask so nicely, and his heads spinning as he comes all over the fucking mirror and sink

> i wonder if this could be combine with the ideas that parts of the self or like mind is still a bit left behind if that makes sense, like with benrey also wanting this that part of the reason gordon wants to say those things

"do you want to fuck him or do you want to be him?" well my good bitch, perhaps you can have a little of both. welcome to my personal hell

hes never come so hard in his fucking life and the noise that rips out of him when he does, finally, after days of being jerked around (ha ha) makes his ears burn with shame

now if you really wanna go crazy. imagine that benreys up and walking around this whole time b/c being edged by his stupid broken suit is making it impossible for him to sleep, and he hears........all of this. stops and presses himself flat agains tthe wall to listen

he cant actually get into the bathroom to scare the shit out of gordon/offer to join in/etc, b/c this stupid flesh body of gordons cant even noclip, but he can press his ear to the door and. listen. and he can flush all the way down to his chest when he hears gordon in there, moaning out his own name with benreys voice

so thats what gordon wants him to do, huh. thats what hes thinking about.

poor benrey, tho. he gets to experience just a lick of the endless fucking suffering that gordon goes thru every single day just by being alive, and "the HEV suit trying and failing to suck him off to completion while his dick twitches against the hard metal of the interior every time gordon groans in there" is just one small part of it

anyway . see ya. my final message