#dongmin angst

[woonhakist]

linger

synopsis — being wrapped around dongmin’s finger had a price, one you never thought you’d have to pay.

pairing — situationship!han dongmin x gn!reader

genre — angst

warnings — cheating-ish, taesan is a jerk, reader is somewhat ‘blinded by love’ (until they aren’t)

word count — 2.2k

notes — this was inspired by linger by the cranberries ! hope you guys enjoy <3 (i also listened to all too well 10 min version a majority of the time i wrote this so thats also a half-decent alternative)

the magnetic force that pulled you towards dongmin was inexplicable. there was something that both your heart and mind couldn’t resist—something that made him so alluring. it was as if all of the desire in the world was concentrated within the cells of his skin; even a mere brush against him harnessed the ability to spread his beautiful poison.

akin to most others, you couldn’t resist the temptation of beauty, even if it was tainted. once you’d pricked your finger on the venomous spindle, you fell into an everlasting slumber; one that took on the form of han dongmin.

your days resembled a night’s dream by virtue of dongmin’s new presence in your life. his aura exuded tranquility, and it seeped into your own. still moments were common with him, which led you to what you felt was a well-needed state of peace. you had thought that he symbolized what was constantly missing from your life: grounding.

in your eyes, he was nothing short of shade that shielded you from the blistering heat of a summer day. he reeled you back in when you’d float too high, forbidding you from suffocating in the fog of the clouds. he protected you from your own flame, preventing it from growing too big. he had provided a piece of himself that you never had yourself.

although he completed your puzzle, you had not the slightest idea of if you completed his. while all of your barriers were broken, his were built with the strongest steel. beyond the shield of his smile was something you couldn’t fathom, something out of your bounds.

even if the unknown tore you apart, everything within your reach was more than enough. he’d always put you back together with the kiss of his lips, and keep you whole with the intertwining of his fingers with yours. ignorance had brought you bliss, serving it to you on a gold-plated platter.

for all of everything intimate about you and dongmin, there wasn’t a label that you could plaster onto the two of you. there was nothing stronger than ‘we’ or ‘us’ that could define you. you teetered between ‘something’ and ‘nothing’, and you hoped for nothing more than to be something.

something was a craving that you couldn’t satisfy. something kept you up at night, and it occupied every one of your dreams, whether it be under the sun or moon. something was what carried you to the same park you and dongmin had met at, strolling in your lonesome on the same rock path two seasons later.

you were there in early spring, minutes before you and dongmin had met. you were walking through the path for a much different reason then, unaware of the meaning it’d hold months later.

you had found a wooden bench, putting your walk on pause as you sat down. you listened to the sounds of spring; the songs of birds, the march breeze, the families enjoying the day, and the crunch of the rocks becoming louder as someone had made their way towards you.

the moment you had turned your head to look was when your whole world shifted without you knowing. it was then that dongmin had made his very first appearance out of many in your life, and flashed you a very first smile in the same manner.

now, more than half a year later, it was you who was smiling at the memory. you stared down at the rock path, now covered in the warm autumn leaves. the sound of the crunch beneath your feet was different, each step leaving behind crushed leaves instead of dirtied rocks. everything had changed over the seasons, but the picture-perfect visual had stayed the same.

as you neared the bench you held close to your heart, your spirits lowered as you spotted a couple seated on it. they had their hands entwined, and you could hear them laughing together. you felt an envious pang in your chest, wanting nothing more than to be there with dongmin.

your steps became lighter, the couple’s conversation gradually becoming clearer. your face grew pale as you slowly came to a horrifying realization: you could recognize the boy’s voice anywhere—it was the same voice that belonged to the same boy you were there because of, the same voice that charmed you on that same bench months ago.

even with your silent begs for it to not be true, your heart dropped as his face came into view. dongmin was there, sat on the very bench your story had begun on, but with another girl; one that wasn’t—and would never be—you.

in that moment, your whole world shifted again, but you could feel it this time. you could feel your heart get crushed in the same way the leaves did, and you could feel your whole body go cold in the same way the autumn air was.

you felt heavy, heavy in a way that weighed you down both mentally and physically. your sorrow surpassed your feelings of envy by tenfold, and your feet felt too sunken into the ground to move. you weren’t nearly strong enough to, yet you were forced to carry the sudden baggage of everything that their simple gesture held.

that simple gesture that held the whole universe to you was so easily thrown out the window. what you knew now broke you, and what used to keep you whole was the culprit. knowledge brought you grief, serving it to you on a rusted platter.

too close to turn back and mind too clouded to think straight, you brought yourself up to dongmin. in the same way you had turned to him in spring, he turned to you now, expression unreadable.

everything felt all too familiar, and it scared you. it felt like a sick, twisted repeat of your meeting in march, and you didn’t know what you did to deserve it. you swore that you didn’t do anything to hurt him, yet he walked all over you as if you were the rock path.

“dongmin?” the vulnerability in your voice was clear, but his expression wasn’t.

dongmin sighed, and looked at the girl next to him. she was perplexed but compliant when dongmin slipped his hand out of hers, standing up. “i’ll be right back.”

as soon as he stood, he signaled you to follow him before walking off. you quickly began to trudge after him, guilt rising inside of you. you fiddled with your fingers, now regretting your confrontation.

dongmin led you far enough to where the bench was still in sight, but the abandoned girl wouldn’t be able to hear your conversation. as soon as he stopped, he turned to you, expression blank.

“what?” he stared you down, running a hand through his hair. when you didn’t say anything, he crossed his arms. “what’s the problem?”

you were just as dumbfounded as that girl; you thought it was clear as day why you were upset. “why—why were you holding her hand?”

he deadpanned. “i still don’t get it. why is that a problem?” his voice was painfully monotone, and for the first time, there was nothing beyond the surface.

he wasn’t upset with you, and that only pained you more. he didn’t care one bit, and that displayed just how little everything meant to him. even if he didn’t give it a second thought, you were still in so deep. even now, all you wanted was to be with him.

“because we’re a thing! we’re—” you stopped yourself short, realizing your mistake. you rewound to the sole reason you went to the park, the blood draining out of your face.

something; the one thing you never got from him. the one thing you endlessly longed for, but never came to fruition. your relationship with dongmin was the one bud that never blossomed back in spring, remaining dormant for months as if it were frozen in time.

the day you met dongmin was the closest to something you had ever gotten from him, and you were desperate to just feel as if you had it. you knew you’d never have it in your grasp, but even just the touch of your fingertips would be enough. instead of that, you were forced upon the truth; something that you never knew you’d face.

dongmin quirked an eyebrow. “we were never a thing,” he smiled at you, but it didn’t hold the same meaning it usually did. rather than comforting, it was mocking. for once, he resembled the dark surrounding the light; not the other way around.

all you could do was stand there, eyes slowly welling with tears. you hated that you were such a fool for him, almost as much as you hated how you were such a fool for the idea of being with him.

“god, don’t cry,” he sighed, throwing his head back lazily. “we’re nothing now, and we were nothing before. you never said it was a problem, so what do you even want?”

“you! i just want you!” your voice broke as your tears began to flow, emotions letting loose. “i always did, and i still do!”

“well, you have me—”

“obviously not, because if i did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now!” you were near yelling, but you couldn’t care less if people could hear. dongmin was the only problem you cared about, and you wanted to fight to solve him.

silence hung in the air, and everything felt frozen. the only thing that moved was dongmin’s chest, rising up then down while he breathed, each breath deeper than the last. even now, your moments with dongmin were still, except you felt all but at peace.

“this is insane—you’re insane,” dongmin breathed out, looking away so his face was against the breeze. “this seriously doesn’t matter, so get over it. talk to me when you’ve come to your senses.”

you and the silence broke all the same, rending further as he walked past you. his footsteps rang in your ears, and they were louder than anything you’ve ever heard. his departure was deafening, and your puddles of tears were blinding.

you felt suffocated, more by the loss of dongmin than the loss of your senses. he was everything to you, and you lost him over something. you were as upset at yourself as you were at him; you wondered how you could be so mindless. you thought nothing could go wrong, but in the end, everything did.

you didn’t know if anything was ever right in the first place. everything that felt off about dongmin gradually began to make sense, and the puzzle pieces reconfigured into a different picture, uglier than it’d ever been.

everything you couldn’t fathom about dongmin didn’t exist. every barrier he had built was translucent, and beyond it was nothing. every smile he gave you didn’t mean anything, since everything behind it was nothing. the previously unknown was nothing, because that was what you truly meant to him.

he ripped a chunk out of you that you’d never get back, leaving it to be nothing. nothing was what was left of your heart; what once beat was broken by the boy it thrived for. nothing would be a taunt; a constant reminder that that was what you were to dongmin all along.

in reality, he was nothing short of the one rain cloud on a perfectly sunny day. he cut your wings, forbidding you from leaving the ground he cursed. he extinguished your flame, making it nearly impossible to reignite it. the piece of himself he provided to you before was now a parasite, intoxicating you from the inside out.

even in your sorrow-drunk daze, you knew that you had woken up from the dream that was too good to be. you escaped the everlasting slumber, and the spell was finally broken. although, your cure wasn’t a fairytale’s true love’s kiss; it was something of the opposite nature.

dongmin’s ‘beautiful’ poison had finally caught up to you, and it was less pretty than you’d thought it was. even so, you still couldn’t resist the temptation, even if he was irreversibly tainted. you wished for just one more look at your nightmare disguised as a daydream, so you made it come true.

you turned around, and your tear-blurred eyes trained on dongmin like it was a second nature. as if it were a third, you focused on his hand, intertwined with another. you didn’t have to question who it was, as the answer came as a fourth. you could almost ignore the feeling of your heart break at the thought, as it’d broken enough times for it to be a first nature.

you felt all but wanted, and in its place was the burning pain of feeling used. beyond your pain was everything that you couldn’t get rid of, including dongmin’s strong presence in your heart. you were still wrapped around his finger, despite the scars you’d always have to carry because of him. you knew that—even though there was nothing left—something would always linger.

© woonhakist 2023

[serejae]

SOMETHING HAPPENS AND IM HEAD OVER HEELS | H.TAESAN

pairing : taesan x reader

genre : fluff

what ! : grumpy bf text with taesan

a/n : oh were so back, THE PRETTY LAYOUT IS BACK LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND NONBINARY (based off this anon :)

@onedoornet @miidorei @sol3chu @loserlvrss

[lxvsiick]

THE STARS ARE ALL ASLEEP | HAN TAESAN X READER

PAIRING: idol! han taesan x non!idol! fem! reader

SUMMARY: The loss and regret Taesan feels, trying to hold on to the memories of Y/n despite the pain

GENRE: angst, breakup, taesan is kinda an ass, imagine, short story

WORDCOUNT: 5.9k

A/N: ngl, did i procrastinate during my lecture to write this? yes . . . i wrote this after listening to 星星都睡了 by PPlin x Zhen Li -- I'm basically giving you guys song reccs to listen to -- the song is really good!... enjoy the story!

★🎸🎧⋆｡ °⋆

I can take care of myself, you don’t need to keep worrying about me.

I don’t smile anymore.

The clock on the wall ticked away the late hours of the evening as Y/n sat curled up on the couch, her legs tucked beneath her, staring blankly at the TV. She wasn’t really watching, her mind too preoccupied with the events of the day. Work had been a disaster. Her boss had been harsher than usual, throwing out unreasonable demands and critiques that left her feeling drained and upset.

She sighed, glancing at her phone. No messages from Taesan. It wasn’t unusual—he was busy, always on the go with rehearsals, interviews, and performances. Being a famous idol meant long hours and even longer nights. Still, they shared this apartment, and she always tried to stay awake to talk to him when he came home.

Her heart lifted slightly when she heard the soft jingle of keys at the door. The lock clicked, and Taesan stepped inside, his hood pulled low over his face, slumping with exhaustion as he kicked off his shoes. He barely glanced in her direction as he made his way into the living room.

She straightened up on the couch, hoping for just a moment of his attention. “Hey, you’re home,” she greeted softly, forcing a small smile. “How was your day?”

“Long,” he muttered, not meeting her eyes as he walked past, heading straight for the kitchen to grab a drink. His tone was flat, his movements sluggish.

Y/n watched him, her heart sinking. “I had the worst day today,” she said, trying again to start a conversation. “My boss was being such a—”

“Not now,” he interrupted, his voice edged with weariness as he leaned against the counter, rubbing his temples. “I’m tired. I don’t want to talk.”

She froze, the words hanging in the air between them, heavier than she expected. She had been waiting all day to tell him about what happened, hoping he would listen, hoping she could find some comfort in his presence. But his dismissal felt like a slap to the face.

Her throat tightened as she swallowed her emotions. “Oh,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Okay.”

The silence stretched out uncomfortably as Taesan took a sip of his drink, still not looking at her. She tried to keep her disappointment from showing, but it was too late. The lump in her throat made it hard to speak, and the weight of the day, combined with his coldness, felt suffocating.

She stood up quietly, wrapping her arms around herself as if to shield against the sudden chill between them. “I’ll... leave you alone, then,” she murmured, backing away toward the bedroom. She didn’t wait for his response. He didn’t offer one.

As she turned, her steps slow and deliberate, her heart ached. This wasn’t how she imagined the night going. She had wanted to vent, to share her frustrations with the one person who mattered most to her. But now, she felt more alone than she had all day.

When she closed the bedroom door behind her, the click sounded louder than usual in the quiet apartment. She sat on the edge of the bed, staring at her hands, wondering if he even noticed how much she needed him right now.

Back in the living room, Taesan let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes as the weight of the day pressed down on him. He hadn’t meant to be so cold, but he was just too tired. Too tired to think, to listen, to be anything but worn out.

But in the silence that followed, something gnawed at him—a faint sense of guilt that he couldn’t quite shake, knowing she had wanted to talk, knowing she had needed him.

And he hadn’t been there.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

I don’t want to think about you all the time.

We tried our hardest to hurt everything between us, and now it’s impossible to repair.

The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm, orange glow over the city streets. Y/n sat on the bench at the bus stop, nervously checking her phone for what felt like the hundredth time. Her heart was filled with a mixture of excitement and impatience—today was supposed to be special. Their anniversary.

Taesan had promised to take her on a date after his interview, a rare moment in their hectic lives where they could celebrate together. She’d dressed up, her heart racing with anticipation, hoping for some time alone with him. But now, as the minutes dragged on, she couldn’t help but feel the growing sense of unease.

She scrolled through her phone again, the unanswered messages staring back at her: "Hey, interview over yet?" "Are you still coming?" "Let me know if you're running late."

No response. No calls. Nothing.

She sighed, biting her lip and glancing down the empty street. The buses came and went, passengers getting on and off, but there was still no sign of him. Her excitement slowly deflated into something more like dread.

A cold breeze picked up, and she pulled her jacket tighter around her. She couldn’t shake the feeling of being stood up, but that couldn’t be true, right? He wouldn’t just forget their anniversary. He wouldn’t break his promise to her.

In an attempt to distract herself, she opened her social media, scrolling absentmindedly through the feed. That’s when she saw it—a post from a fan page featuring Taesan and his group at some event. There he was, smiling and laughing with his bandmates, dressed in an outfit far too formal for just an interview.

Her heart sank. The caption beneath the photo read, "Surprise appearance at the event! BOYNEXTDOOR looking dashing as always."

She stared at the screen, the image of him so happy, so carefree. She felt a knot twist in her chest, anger and sadness mixing together. He wasn’t just late—he had gone somewhere else entirely, without even telling her. He had time for an event but not for their anniversary.

Her fingers hovered over the phone, wanting to call him again, but she knew it wouldn’t change anything. He wasn’t coming.

With a heavy sigh, she stood up, her heart feeling heavier than her feet as she trudged back toward their apartment. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but she ignored it, knowing it wasn’t from him.

The walk back felt longer than usual, her mind replaying the excitement she’d felt that morning—how she’d looked forward to tonight, how she’d thought this anniversary would be a rare moment where they could be like any other couple. But instead, she was left alone, walking home in the dim light, her hands stuffed in her pockets to keep warm.

Finally, she reached the front door of their apartment building. Pausing for a moment, she glanced back at the empty street, a small part of her still hoping to see him running toward her, apologizing for being late. But the street remained empty, quiet, just like the unanswered messages on her phone.

With a deep breath, she entered the building and climbed the stairs to their apartment. As she unlocked the door and stepped inside, the stillness of the apartment felt colder than the air outside. No flowers, no candles, no sign that today was any different from any other day.

She sank onto the couch, staring blankly at the wall, the weight of disappointment settling in her chest like a stone. All she wanted was to be with him, to feel like she mattered, like they mattered. But tonight, she felt more alone than ever.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

You never cared about trying to get my forgiveness.

Don’t let us be covered in scars.

The apartment was quiet, save for the soft hum of the city outside. Y/n sat on the couch, her knees pulled to her chest, hugging a small black cat stuffed animal that Taesan had won for her on one of their early dates. Her eyes were red-rimmed, tears brimming but not falling. She stared blankly at her phone, an article open on the screen, the words blurring in front of her.

The jingle of keys at the door signaled his arrival. The door creaked open, and Taesan stepped in, exhaustion heavy in his posture. He looked worn from the day, his hair disheveled, still in his stage clothes. He let out a deep sigh as he kicked off his shoes, glancing toward her, not immediately noticing the tension in the air.

"Hey," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. "I'm home."

Y/n didn’t respond, her gaze locked on him, her lips pressed into a thin line as she clutched the stuffed animal tighter. Her chest ached with the weight of everything unsaid.

He finally noticed her silence, his eyes narrowing in concern. "What’s wrong?" he asked, his voice more annoyed than gentle. He was too tired for this—whatever this was.

She didn’t speak at first, just held out her phone toward him, the screen illuminating her tear-filled eyes. He frowned, walking over to take it from her hand. When he looked at the screen, his expression immediately shifted.

It was a news article—another baseless rumor. His name splashed across the headline alongside another female idol, the two of them speculated to be in a relationship. There were photos from a backstage event, carefully cropped and captioned to imply intimacy where none existed.

He groaned, already dreading the conversation. "You’ve got to be kidding me," he muttered under his breath, tossing the phone onto the coffee table.

"Is this why you’re never around anymore?" Y/n finally spoke, her voice small but laced with hurt. Her eyes, shining with unshed tears, held a mixture of frustration, sadness, and fear. "Because of her?"

His jaw clenched, frustration quickly overtaking his fatigue. "What? No. It’s just a rumor," he snapped, throwing his hands up. "You really believe that crap? I told you not to pay attention to those things."

"But you’re never here anymore!" Her voice cracked as she stood up, still hugging the stuffed cat to her chest. "You’re always too busy, too tired, or too... distant. And then I see this and—" She broke off, shaking her head, tears spilling over now. "How am I supposed to feel? Am I supposed to just ignore it when you’re gone all the time?"

"I’m working!" he fired back, the anger rising in his chest. "I’m busting my ass for this career, for us—but you’re here, worried about some stupid tabloid story? Where’s the trust?"

"Trust?" she repeated, incredulous. "How can I trust you when you don’t even talk to me anymore? When you don’t make time for me at all? Do you even care about this relationship?"

Her words cut deep, but his frustration was too overwhelming to process the hurt beneath them. "Of course I care! But you’re suffocating me with all these doubts. Every time I come home, it’s something like this. You worry too much."

"I worry because I care!" Her voice broke, raw with emotion. "Because I love you, and I feel like I’m losing you—like you’re slipping away and I can’t do anything about it."

The silence that followed was deafening. They stood there, staring at each other, both breathing heavily from the intensity of the argument.

Taesan rubbed his temples, his voice lowering but still tense. "This is ridiculous. It’s just a rumor. I’m tired, and I don’t want to do this right now."

"You never want to do this," she whispered, her voice barely audible. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, her chest heaving as she tried to control the sobs threatening to spill over. "Fine."

With a quiet, bitter laugh, she turned and walked toward their bedroom. "I’m done with this conversation. Go sleep at your dorm or wherever it is you’d rather be."

His eyes followed her as she disappeared down the hallway, her door closing softly behind her, though the emotional slam still reverberated through him.

He stood there for a long moment, his anger simmering down into guilt, exhaustion pulling at him from all sides. He didn’t want to fight, but it always seemed to end up this way. They always ended up like this—torn apart by his career, by misunderstandings, by everything he didn’t have time to fix.

With a heavy sigh, Taesan grabbed his jacket and keys, heading back toward the door. The silence of the apartment felt unbearable now.

As he stepped out into the cold night air, he shoved his hands into his pockets and walked toward his group’s dorm, his mind filled with everything left unsaid, wondering how they had come to this.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

When the stars in the sky all sleep, I feel so dark, my body feels inexplicably cold

The night air was heavy, thick with a silence that seemed to press down on everything. The small park near their apartment was a place once filled with memories—their late-night walks, quiet conversations, stolen moments—but now it felt distant, like something from another lifetime.

Taesan stood at the edge of the path, hands shoved deep into his pockets, his breath visible in the cool air. He hadn’t been back here in weeks, not since he’d started staying at his group’s dorm. It felt strange now, almost foreign.

His eyes shifted as he saw Y/n approaching slowly from the other side of the park. His heart clenched at the sight of her, though he couldn’t quite place why. She looked…different. Her face was pale, her eyes hollow, the dark bags beneath them evident even in the dim light. The spark, the warmth he always loved in her eyes, was gone. She looked like someone who had been carrying the weight of the world for too long.

She stopped a few steps away from him, the space between them feeling like a chasm.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked, his voice quiet but carrying an edge of tension. He already had a sinking feeling in his chest, but he wasn’t ready to confront it.

Y/n looked at him for a long moment, her lips parting as if to speak, but no words came out at first. She shifted her weight, wrapping her arms around herself like she was trying to hold herself together.

"I’m tired," she finally said, her voice flat, void of emotion. "I’m tired of waiting for you. Of waiting for us to feel like it used to." Her eyes met his, and the emptiness in them hit him like a punch to the gut. "I can’t keep doing this."

His heart stuttered in his chest, but he didn’t say anything. He just stared at her, trying to process her words, hoping this wasn’t what he thought it was.

“I’m done,” she continued, her voice firmer this time, as if she had rehearsed these words over and over in her head before finally saying them. “I don’t want to have to keep waiting on you, waiting for something to change. I feel like I’m always waiting.”

The silence between them was unbearable now, but he couldn’t find the right words to say. His throat felt tight, like any response he tried to form would only come out broken.

She wasn’t crying—there were no tears. She wasn’t angry. Just…done. It made it worse somehow. He would’ve preferred her to scream at him, to be angry, to throw something, but this quiet resignation was shattering him in a way he hadn’t expected.

“You’re not the same,” she whispered, her voice barely audible but sharp enough to cut through the air between them. "I don’t recognize you anymore. And I know you’re tired too. Tired of me, of this... You don’t need to say it. I can see it every time you walk out the door and don’t come back until late or not at all."

He wanted to protest, to tell her she was wrong, that things could be different, but the words wouldn’t come. Maybe because a part of him knew she was right. He hadn’t been present—not really. His career had consumed him, and in the process, he had let her slip away. He let them slip away.

She let out a shaky breath, her eyes momentarily glancing down at the ground before meeting his gaze again. "I loved you," she said softly. "I still do, but I can’t keep holding onto something that’s already gone."

His chest tightened painfully, and he took a small step forward, as if to reach for her, but stopped himself. He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t even know if he could.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, though it was unclear if she was apologizing to him or to herself.

And then, she turned around, her figure illuminated only by the faint glow of the park’s streetlights. She didn’t run. She didn’t storm off. She just walked away, her back to him, her shoulders slightly hunched as if the weight of everything was too much to bear.

He stood there, frozen in place, his heart breaking with every step she took. His mouth opened, but no words came out. He could only watch as she walked further and further away, her silhouette fading into the distance until she was nothing more than a distant memory in the night.

The cold settled into his bones, but he didn’t move. He couldn’t. He felt numb, like everything inside him had shattered and there was nothing left but the aching emptiness where she used to be. The night stretched on, and the only sound that filled the silence was the faint rustling of leaves in the wind, as the world around him continued on, unaware that his had just fallen apart.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

I don’t need the hottest and best car.

I don’t need to be the best pop star.

I want to express myself, but I messed up.

What’s there to lose! My heart’s already half empty.

The studio’s lights were harsh, reflecting off the mirrors that lined the walls. The steady beat of the music thumped through the room, filling the space with energy, but Taesan’s movements felt sluggish, disconnected from the rhythm. He was usually so precise, so in sync with the choreography, but today he couldn’t seem to get it right.

"Again," the instructor called out, clapping their hands sharply, frustration seeping into their voice. "You’re off, Taesan. Focus."

He nodded, wiping the sweat from his brow, though it felt like the sweat wasn’t the problem—it was the weight pressing on his chest. They started the routine again, but halfway through, his steps faltered. His foot missed the mark, his body off-beat. He felt his group members glance at him in concern, but he kept his head down, trying to push through.

"Stop!" the instructor barked, cutting the music abruptly. "Take five. Taesan, get it together."

He didn’t respond, just stood there, panting, his hands on his knees. The others slowly moved to the sides of the room to grab water or stretch. Taesan didn’t move. His mind was spinning, but not about the dance. His thoughts kept drifting to her—Y/n. The look on her face when she walked away, the sound of her voice when she said she was done, the quiet resignation in her eyes. It haunted him.

It was all he could think about.

He pressed his palms against his eyes, trying to clear his head, but it was no use. The more he tried to shake it off, the more the memories flooded back. The last argument, the tension that had been building for months, how he had shrugged her off when she needed him most.

“Hey, man. You good?” Jaehyun asked, cautiously approaching him with a bottle of water in hand.

Taesan shook his head slightly, forcing a deep breath. “I’m fine,” he muttered, though the tightness in his voice said otherwise.

“You’re not,” Leehan said bluntly, walking over with the rest of the group. "You’ve been off all day. What’s going on?"

He opened his mouth to respond with something dismissive, something to brush them off like he always did when things got too personal, but this time, he couldn’t. His chest ached too much. The guilt, the regret—it was all bubbling up inside him, and he couldn’t keep it down any longer.

“I—” His voice cracked, and he quickly looked away, swallowing hard. He hated this. Hated feeling this vulnerable, especially in front of them.

His group members exchanged glances, clearly worried.

“I miss her,” he finally whispered, barely audible.

“What?” Riwoo leaned in closer, frowning.

“I miss her,” he repeated, louder this time, though his voice wavered. “I miss Y/n… so much.”

The room fell into a heavy silence, the usual energy drained as his words settled in.

“I screwed up,” he said, his hands trembling slightly as he raked them through his hair. “I didn’t realize what I had until she was gone. And now—” He paused, his throat tightening, the memories of their breakup flashing in his mind. “Now it’s too late. I hurt her, I wasn’t there when she needed me, and she left. I don’t blame her.”

His eyes burned, but he refused to let the tears fall. Not here. Not in front of them.

“I regret everything,” he admitted, his voice strained, raw. “Everything that led to us falling apart. I pushed her away, I was so wrapped up in my own life that I didn’t see how much I was losing her.” His hand clenched into a fist. "I thought I could balance everything, but… I couldn’t. I failed her.”

His group members stood in stunned silence. Taesan was always the one who kept things together, the one who didn’t let his emotions get the better of him. Seeing him like this, so vulnerable, so broken, was a shock.

“I don’t know how to fix it,” he continued, his voice barely above a whisper now. “I don’t think I can. She’s done with me, and I can’t blame her. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend… and a terrible person.”

Sungho stepped closer, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, man, don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth,” he said bitterly, looking down at the floor. “I still love her. I never stopped. But she’s gone, and it’s all my fault.”

“You’re human, Taesan hyung,” Woonhak said, his tone gentle. “People make mistakes.”

“Not like this,” Taesan muttered, shaking his head. “She waited for me. She was patient, and I took her for granted. I should’ve been there for her.”

His group members shared worried glances, unsure of what to say. They had never seen him like this—so lost, so regretful.

“It’s not too late,” Jaehyun offered hesitantly. “You can still reach out to her, talk to her—”

“She’s done with me,” Taesan interrupted, his voice flat. “She said she’s tired of waiting, and I can’t blame her. I would’ve left me too.”

He slumped down onto the floor, leaning against the mirrored wall, his head in his hands. The silence stretched on for what felt like forever, the only sound being the faint hum of the air conditioning in the studio.

His group members sat down around him, unsure of how to help, but unwilling to leave him alone. They could see how much pain he was in, and it hurt to see their usually composed, confident friend in pieces like this.

“I’m sorry,” Taesan whispered again, more to himself than anyone else. "I’m so sorry, Y/n."

And for the first time in a long time, he let the tears fall.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Through the whole night, you’re no longer in my sight.

Maybe everyone feels the same, but time goes by too fast.

The air backstage was charged with excitement, a low hum of activity as the staff rushed around making final preparations. Taesan sat quietly in a corner, his hands resting on his lap, staring at the floor as the muffled cheers of the crowd reached his ears. The energy of the arena was palpable, but inside, he felt a familiar weight pressing down on his chest.

It had been a few months since the breakup. Since the day she’d said she was done. He hadn’t realized how hard it would hit him—how much he’d miss her. Even now, the thought of her still tugged at his heart, the hurt still raw even though time had passed.

"Taesan, you good?" Sungho asked, breaking through his thoughts as they finished a huddle nearby.

He glanced up, forcing a small smile. "Yeah, I’m fine."

They’d asked him that a lot lately, and every time he said the same thing. He had to be fine. He had no other choice. Being an idol meant putting on a perfect face, no matter what was going on behind the scenes. It was all part of the job, and he owed it to his fans to give them everything he had. But the truth was, no matter how much time passed, she never really left his mind.

A staff member approached, headset in place, clipboard in hand. "Five minutes until showtime."

His group gave a collective nod, standing up to stretch and prepare. Taesan rose to his feet, brushing off his outfit, and took a deep breath. He could feel the adrenaline starting to build, the anticipation of the stage waiting for him. This was his world now—his stage, his music, his fans. He had to focus on that.

But as his mind drifted back to her—her smile, the sound of her laugh, the way she used to wait up for him—his chest tightened again. The ache that hadn’t fully healed throbbed beneath the surface, a constant reminder of what he’d lost.

"Focus," he whispered to himself, closing his eyes for a moment. He couldn’t let this affect him now. Not here. Not when the world was watching.

The fans were already screaming, chanting their names, and he knew the second he stepped onto that stage, he had to be the idol they all adored—the one who smiled for them, who gave them his all, no matter what was happening in his personal life.

A deep breath. He opened his eyes as the staff gave the signal.

“It’s time,” one of his group members said, nudging him gently. "Let’s go."

He nodded, shaking off the last traces of his wandering thoughts. Putting on his best smile—the smile that had charmed millions—he stepped in line with his group as they prepared to walk onto the stage.

The music swelled through the speakers, and the moment the curtains parted, a wave of sound crashed over them. The roar of the crowd, the flashing lights, the sea of fans waving lightsticks—it was everything he’d worked for, everything he loved.

He couldn’t let them down.

As they walked out, the fans’ cheers grew louder, the energy electric. He felt it surge through him, pushing the heaviness of his emotions to the back of his mind. The stage was where he belonged, and for now, that had to be enough.

But even as he smiled, danced, and sang, giving his all to the performance, a part of him still carried her with him—her memory, her absence. He knew he had to move on, but it wasn’t that simple. She had been a part of him for so long, and the love he had for her didn’t just disappear. He was still learning how to live with that ache.

As the music thumped in his ears and the fans sang along to every word, he forced himself to be present, to let the performance carry him. But every now and then, between the beats, he could feel her shadow lingering in the back of his mind.

And when the concert was over, and the adrenaline faded, he knew she’d be there waiting in the back of his mind—just as she always had been.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Finally, the wounds have scabbed over, but am I still thinking about it?

The room was dimly lit by the slivers of moonlight that slipped through the half-drawn blinds. The quiet hum of the air conditioner was the only sound breaking the silence of the night. Taesan lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a contemplative expression. The shadows cast by the moonlight danced across the walls, but his focus remained on the blank expanse above him.

He was in his shared dorm room with Woonhak, who was already fast asleep, snoring softly. Taesan had been lying awake for hours, his mind racing through thoughts he couldn’t seem to quiet.

It had been five months since the breakup. He had made significant progress—he wasn’t as heartbroken as he once was, and his days were filled with the busyness of his idol life. But despite all that, thoughts of Y/n still occupied a corner of his mind.

He wondered about her often. What was she doing now? Was she happier without him? Was she moving on with her life, creating new memories, and finding joy in things that didn’t include him? The questions lingered, and even though he tried to push them away, they always seemed to return.

He remembered their last conversation, the look in her eyes when she had ended things. It wasn’t anger or resentment but a calm, resolute sadness. He had always wished he could go back and fix things, do better, be the person she deserved.

Turning his head slightly, he glanced over at the small bedside clock—it was well past midnight. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he shifted uncomfortably. The ache of missing her wasn’t as sharp as it once was, but it was still there, a gentle, persistent throb that reminded him of the love they had shared.

He recalled the little moments they had—walking in the park, sharing secrets, the way she used to laugh at his jokes, the sparkle in her eyes when she listened to his songs. Those memories were bittersweet now, tinged with the sadness of knowing that those times were in the past.

He wondered if she ever thought about him. Did she ever look back and remember the good times? Did she ever miss him, even just a little? The curiosity gnawed at him, but he didn’t have any answers. He had made the decision to give her space, to let her heal and move on, but it didn’t make the longing any easier.

He closed his eyes, imagining what it would be like to see her again, to talk to her, to hear her voice. He hoped that wherever she was, she was happy. He hoped she had found the peace and joy that they both deserved.

As he lay there, the weight of his thoughts became a little heavier. He had learned to live with the separation, to accept it as part of his journey, but that didn’t mean it was easy. The nights like these were the hardest—when the world was quiet, and the only thing he had was the memory of what once was.

Eventually, he forced himself to turn away from the ceiling, pulling the covers closer as he tried to settle into a more comfortable position. It was a futile attempt to silence his racing mind, but he knew that some things would take time to fully resolve.

For now, he would focus on his work, on the present, and try to hold onto the hope that things would get better. And maybe, just maybe, someday he would get the closure he needed. Until then, he would carry on, living his life while cherishing the memories of what they once had.

He finally drifted off to sleep, the thoughts of her slowly fading into the background, though never completely out of reach.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

I realize I can live without you, but I once decided to grow old with you.

How much loneliness and struggle remain pierced in my heart.

The crisp autumn air was cool against his skin as Taesan and his group members strolled down the street. Their faces were concealed behind masks and sunglasses, a necessary precaution to avoid being recognized. Despite their disguises, the atmosphere was relaxed, and they enjoyed the rare chance to go out incognito.

They chatted casually, their conversation punctuated by laughter as they approached a quaint café they had heard good things about. The cozy little place had a warm glow that contrasted with the chilly evening air.

As they reached the entrance, Taesan was the last to go inside. Just as he was about to cross the threshold, the door swung open and someone bumped into him.

Startled, he looked down, his heart skipping a beat when he saw who it was.

It was her. Y/n.

She looked different—brighter, happier. Her hair was shorter, framing her face in a way that seemed to enhance her natural beauty. And her eyes—those eyes that used to be so full of sadness—were now sparkling with a joy he hadn’t seen in a long time.

They locked eyes for a split second, and he felt a pang of something he couldn’t quite place—hope, regret, longing. He stood frozen, caught between the urge to speak and the overwhelming surge of emotions.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, her voice warm and apologetic as she quickly stepped back. She didn’t seem to recognize him, her focus more on the minor collision than on the person she bumped into.

“No problem,” he managed to say, his voice barely above a whisper.

She flashed him a quick, polite smile before turning and walking away, her figure gradually diminishing as she moved down the street.

Taesan stood there, watching her retreat, his heart pounding. The moment felt surreal—seeing her like this, so changed, so content. It was as if the universe had given him one more chance to make things right, and he wasn’t sure if he should let it slip away.

“Hey, what’s taking you so long?” Riwoo called out from inside the café. “Let’s go!”

Still reeling from the encounter, Taesan snapped back to reality. He turned towards the café, where his friends waited, but something inside him urged him to follow her—to find out if this new version of her was truly as happy as she seemed.

Without a word, he pulled his mask and glasses off and turned on his heel, rushing out of the café. His group members called after him, confusion evident in their voices, but he ignored them, his focus entirely on the woman who had just walked away.

He sprinted down the street, glancing around, his heart racing as he searched for any sign of her. The sight of her figure, walking away with a spring in her step, seemed to guide him forward, pushing him to bridge the gap that had grown between them.

Every step felt heavy with anticipation, each breath a mix of excitement and anxiety. He didn’t know what he’d say or what he hoped to find, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a chance he couldn’t let slip by.

Finally, he spotted her again, standing on the corner, waiting for a bus. With a deep breath, he approached, trying to steady his racing heart.

“Y/n!” he called out, trying to keep his voice calm and steady.

She turned, a look of surprise crossing her face as she recognized the urgency in his voice. Her eyes widened as they met his, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. Everything around them seemed to disappear and it was only them there. Y/n’s look of surprise turns into a smile, her sparkling eyes meeting him.

“Hi.”

★🎸🎧⋆｡ °⋆

PART TWO VER.1 -- VER.2 | MASTERLIST

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, lxvsiick, 2024

[mykoreanlove]

afraid of love

Exhausted from the intensity of the night before, you sank into the comforting embrace of your fluffy bed. But even in the tranquility of your room, your mind raced with memories of Eun Woo.

Did he make it to Seoul already?

Images of last night flooded your consciousness like a vivid, intoxicating dream.

Heated kisses on every inch of your body ignited a fire within you, each touch sending shivers down your spine and leaving you breathless with desire. Eun Woo's lips, soft and insistent, traced a path of passion across your skin.

His dark, brown eyes seemed to peer into the depths of your soul, stripping away all pretense and laying bare the raw, unfiltered emotions that lay hidden within. In those moments, it felt as though you were the only two people in the world, lost in a shared intimacy that transcended words.

Your bodies intertwined for hours, moving together in a dance of ecstasy and longing. Every touch was a symphony of pleasure that left you both gasping for breath.

Dirty promises were whispered into your ear, each word sending a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins. In the darkness of the night, with only the sound of your ragged breaths to fill the silence, you reveled in the shared intimacy of your whispered confessions, each promise a testament to the passion that burned between you.

As the night wore on, you both became a canvas for each other's desires, covering each other in colorful marks that served as a physical reminder of the passion that had ignited between you.

And as sleep finally claimed you both, you drifted off in his strong embrace, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you into a peaceful slumber. In that moment, wrapped in each other's arms, you knew that you had found something special, a connection that transcended the physical and reached deep into the depths of your soul.

Adrenaline flooded your system as you thought off all the things you did last night.

Or three nights prior to that. You matched on a random Sunday, after being abstinent from dating for a long time. Eun Woo was in town only for a couple of days for a video shoot but that didn’t stop him from having a good time.

He had been single for years after having his heart shattered by his first love. Ever since, he toyed with women as he pleased.

The first date was spent in his apartment, eating, and talking, cuddling, and fucking.

He was a passionate lover, even though he was starving for love and affection. The second date was a spontaneous invitation late at night, after all his mandatory meetings had been dealt with.

You repeated the first date’s actions but this time it felt more familiar, already knowing what you liked and needed. Eun Woo gave you his all, adoring you in every way he could.

Until he had to leave.

You remembered the sound of his alarm clock this morning, way too early and too sudden. He shifted in his sleep, groaning as he did not want to leave you.

Kisses on your neck were accompanied by his fingers entering you, sighing in appreciation. “God, you feel so fucking good, y/n.”

Minutes after he was gone, catching his plane back to Seoul. You put your fingers on your lips, looking for the traces he had left. The sudden vibration of your phone brought you back into the present moment.

I landed. Tired as fuck though. How are you?

Missing you.

You didn’t want to get your hopes up – after all he didn’t even live in the same country. This was nothing but a repeated one-night stand, right? You thought back to the conversation you had before falling asleep.

“Do you think there is a future for us?”

He caught you off guard with this question, making you panic to find the right words.

“That depends on how well you treat me, Eun Woo”, you mocked jokingly.

He broke into laughter, loving your sassy side.

“I will love the ground you walk on, my queen. How about that?”

You joined in on his laughter and turned to face him, staring into his beautiful eyes.

“Do you mean it?”

He nodded.

Did you really mean it, though?

Oh, good! Seoul has you back then 😉 Lying in bed and cuddling my plushie since you’re gone…

Did that sound stupid?

Your insecurities churned within you, suddenly you were hyper-aware of everything you said and did.

Haha

That’s it?

You felt sick to your stomach as you took that as confirmation. After all, you were right about him. He only used you for some fun during his trip. And now he’s back in his real life, in which you had no place in.

This was nothing but fun to him. Nothing but a repeated one-night stand.

Brrrr.

Brrrr.

Brrrrr.

What the fuck?

Barely awake you searched for your phone on your nightstand.

3:33 AM.

Who the fuck texts me at this hour?

You were instantly awake as you realized who it was.

Eun Woo.

I have no idea if you’re awake. You’re probably asleep. And I shouldn’t blow up your phone. But I can’t help myself.

Anxiety formed in your stomach.

What was that supposed to mean?

Are you okay?

It took him seconds to answer.

You’re awake? Did I wake you? I’m sorry.

You sat up in bed, anxiously typing your reply.

It’s alright. Why are you up? Everything okay?

You saw him type his reply for minutes, driving you crazy in your heightened state.

No. Nothing is okay. I can’t stop thinking about you.

You swore your heart skipped a beat.

Did I read that right?

I can’t stop thinking about you and it drives me crazy.

You gasped, trying to think of a reply.

You make it sound like it’s a bad thing…

Countless messages followed.

It is. Because you are not here with me. And I’m not there with you. I… I didn’t want to leave you this morning. I wanted to stay. With you, y/n. I really wanted to stay.

You pinched yourself, unsure if this was real.

Ouch.

Definitely real.

I know I sound crazy. Maybe I am. But I have fallen for you. HARD. The last hours I’ve thought about how I can manage to come back to your city. Or how I could persuade you to come visit me in Seoul. I almost popped a blood vessel thinking of ways. What did you do to me?

You chuckled. Relief washed over you, since he felt the same way you did.

I keep replaying last night over and over. How mesmerizing it felt to look into your beautiful eyes. How amazing it felt to kiss you. How mind-blowing it felt to be inside you. Oh god and speaking of blowing. The way your juicy lips wrapped around my cock? I’m losing my mind here, y/n. I’ve jerked off twice and still I couldn’t fall asleep. Or stop thinking about you. I’m a simp now, aren’t I? Look what you turned me into.

You were in shock.

Hours ago, you thought he would abandon you and go on with his life but here he was, confessing his desire for you. Making it obvious that he wants to continue this and get to know you better.

Now is the time to get my hopes up, right?

Do you want me to fly over?

You felt brave asking, believing in your chance at love for once.

Already checking flights, babe.

A broad smile formed on your lips.

I can’t believe this.

He is serious, isn’t he?

I can’t wait to be with you, y/n. I really fucking mean it. And that scares me the most.

You understood him perfectly, especially since the connection between you was so strong. This was nothing like you had ever encountered before. It scared you just as much, but you were willing to try.

Hey, uhm… Wanna be scared together?

[gluion]

i don’t smoke (except for when i’m missing you) — taesan

taesan x reader

wc — 2k genre & warnings — angst, situationship, smoking, alcohol consumption, unedited playlist/inspired by — supercut by lorde // i don’t smoke by mitski // focus by niki notes — remember folks! communication is always the key. (that way you can manage your expectations.) if you enjoyed reading, please do reblog and leave feedback! request to be part of the taglist! masterlist

synopsis — a drunken phone call leads you and taesan to unpack what was kept under wraps, and you both don’t know where to stand on your relationship.

there’s a thumping in your ear—maybe it’s from the bass that sounds through the walls or the jumping crowd that shakes the floor. the flashing lights have turned into hazy streaks of red and the smell of sweat seems to stick. yet, despite how uncomfortable the club has gone at this hour, you stay in place, swishing the contents in your cup before downing it.

you let out a quiet exhale, senses numbing and faltering the more you drink. but the thumping remains, and you don’t know where it’s coming from.

“y/n!” your eyes snap towards julie whose eyebrows are scrunched in worry. “are you okay?”

you straighten your back against the wall. “me? yeah.” you lift the cup to her view, giving it a small shake to show it’s empty. “i just finished my drink, so i was letting the alcohol sit.”

julie chuckles before grabbing it from you. “okay, that’s enough drinking. you,” her finger jabs at your chest, “need some water.” despite the groan that leaves you, she latches onto your arm before dragging you away. 

as you make your way back to the booth, the music seems to drown from the volume of your friends. taerae’s laugh overlaps the melody and gunwook’s complaints take over the vocal chops. “oh, there you are!” jaehyun calls out the moment he spots you. “i thought you went to the washroom.” you plop down beside him. “maybe even went for a smoke break.”

“hey, i don’t smoke anymore,” you defend yourself. 

“anymore, you just said.”

you roll your eyes before mumbling. “i don’t even think i’m a smoker.”

before jaehyun can argue, julie leans over towards you two. “i’m going to get you water.” as she’s met jaehyun’s intoxicated grin, she sighs before standing up straight. “maybe i should be getting you some, too.” once julie takes her leave, you both erupt into drunken giggles.

the rest of your friends continue to enjoy the night; some continue to down more shots while others share the latest gossip. you and jaehyun don’t exchange a word, shoulders pressed to each other as you stare off into nowhere. and while you attempt to enjoy the shared silence, the thumping in your ear remains.

“what’s on your mind?”

“nothing.” you look over at jaehyun. “just alcohol.”

he frowns. “you just… i feel like your mind has been going off somewhere this whole night.”

“literally, i’m just spacing out.” you rip your gaze from him before you sink into the seat. “nothing to get too worried about.”

a beat passes.

“are you sure?”

with jaehyun’s persistence, you get off your seat. “i’m going to find julie.” despite his protests, you make your way through the crowd until you find yourself by the bar. you call on the bartender and ask him for another glass of whatever he gave you then. at his nod, you lean on the table as you wait for him to mix up another concoction that would keep your mind busy.

beside you are seats filled with flirting couples, whispering sweet-nothings and getting handsy in public. it seems that more people behind you are having the time of their lives chatting and grooving on the dance floor. yet, here you stand, hoping that the next glass would allow you to give you the enjoyment you’ve been craving this whole night.

you thank the bartender the moment your order is served. before you can drink, someone shoves against you, causing it to spill. “hey, watch where you’re going!” as soon as you catch sight of the person, your stern expression suddenly shifts into shock—because he looks like him.

“sorry about that!” the stranger is quick to apologize, a regretful smile resting on his lips—and it reminds you of his smile, the same one he would shoot at you at every party, every late night out, every time he managed to upset you. the person throws a quick glare at his friend before saying, “i hope i didn’t spill your drink.”

at your silence, the stranger takes it as his sign to continue partying, but you remain frozen, staring at him. the similarities are uncanny; the same cat-like features with the exact fashion style that he has. and suddenly, it’s a supercut in your mind—of every stolen glance, of every hand held, of every lean in as he tries to listen to your whispers, of every short distance and shared silence spent staring into each other’s eyes.

yet, those moments seemed like nothing to taesan.

once you down your drink, you move past the crowd until you finally exit the club. even outside, the thumping in your ear remains. the moment your hand rests on your chest, you feel the pounding in your chest—and you realize that it’s been your heartbeat all along.

you dig through your bag until you manage to fish out an opened pack of cigarettes, and you don’t even think twice about asking a group of strangers smoking to light up your last cigarette.

first drag. you shut your eyes close as you lean against the brick wall.

second drag. your brain has turned cloudy and your heart rate has slowed down.

third drag. you still think of him.

you pull out your phone, greeted by multiple missed calls from jaehyun and julie, but you ignore them as you scroll through your contacts for taesan’s name. as soon as you spot him, your thumb hovers over his phone number.

and the next thing you know it, your phone is pressed against your ear as it rings.

your friends would’ve shouted at you if they knew what you were doing. at first, they seemed to enjoy hearing the first few escapades you would share with him, until they asked you what you two were. they found out you were entangled in a life of mixed-signals, and your distress had only made them beg you to cut him off. you should’ve listened to their advice. after all, they pointed out all his red flags in every problem, every story, you shared.

but you did none of the sorts.

the ringing goes silent. you almost think the call was dropped until you hear him clear his throat from the other line. “hey, how’s my sweetheart?”

you thought it was a common thing taesan did with friends but it came to your surprise that it’s the first time jaehyun has heard him refer to someone with that nickname. you don’t know why he calls you that, and you never complained—until now.

“why do you call me that?”

“sweetheart? because the first time i met you, you were sweet to me. you’ve always been sweet to everyone.”

you shake your head. “no, not that.”

“what?” taesan’s confusion only has your heart rate racing once more. if he couldn’t even understand what you’re referring to, what more did he think about where you two stand?

“why do you call me yours?”

it’s silent for a moment.

wind grazes against your skin as you take another drag. “why do you do that? why do you always reach out for my hand whenever we walk? or always wrap your arm around me?” when he doesn’t say anything, you take that as your sign to continue. “why is it that you always bring me back to your place? why do you tell me to stay for the night? and why do you hold me so close every night?” you exhale. “why do you do all that?”

taesan continues to remain silent. “i just,” you slide down the wall, crouching as you look down, “you say all these things… do all these things, and i get confused. whenever i’m with you, you always seem to get touchy with me, and you don’t care whenever i say that your friends might get the wrong idea.”

it never helped that he boiled your statements into shame—because you could never be embarrassed of him. yet, he could never define what you two were. what didn’t help is that he would always answer jaehyun with, “just friends,” whenever his friend asks about you two.

“and taesan, i was willing to keep up with it until you wanted something more official. but the months kept going, and suddenly i was suffering from every moment you grew distant from me or i saw you getting touchy with someone else.”

you take another drag, and taesan still refuses to say anything.

“everything you do makes me think that there is something going on between us, and maybe i am getting the wrong idea, but i’m begging that you tell me that i’m not just someone you’re just looking to have fun with. i can’t continue with this if we don’t settle on what we are.”

as seconds go by, you almost think that he dropped the call on you. but you know he’s still there. “taesan.”

“yeah?” he finally speaks up.

“i’m only asking you one thing. what are we?”

and when you’re met with silence once more, you realize the answer all by yourself. if you two were something, he would’ve interrupted you as you list down your questions. if you two were something, he would’ve had no problem telling jaehyun what he thought about you. if you two were something, he would’ve been able to answer you in a heartbeat.

“y/n, i enjoy your company. i like having you around and all, and you seem to understand me in a way that my friends don’t.”

despite the seconds of silence that pass, you know there’s another half to the sentence.

“but i’m not looking for anything serious right now. i’m sorry you saw it that way.”

your friends are right. you should’ve known better than to expect something out of this. it was doomed to fail from the start. maybe if you listened to your friends earlier on, you wouldn’t have found yourself in too deep with someone who could never understand the boundaries. 

“maybe it’s best that we don’t see each other anymore,” taesan says.

it pained you to hear him say that because at the start of each day, you would seek him out knowing you’d end it with him. it almost hurts imagining what tomorrow would be like knowing you wouldn’t see him anymore.

but for once, he was doing something right.

you nod before saying, “okay. i’m sorry for thinking that.”

the call drops. he didn’t bother to say goodbye. 

as you take another drag, you stare off into nowhere while you’re left to replay everything that went down between you two. maybe you should’ve done better to uphold those boundaries, ask him earlier on if he was interested in being in a relationship, and you could’ve avoided wasting your months on someone who couldn’t imagine something with you.

you should’ve been mad that this is the outcome.

“there you are!” you whip your head to see jaehyun with a worried expression. “i’ve been looking for you everywhere! you weren’t picking up your phone. what are you doing outside?”

then, jaehyun sees the cigarette in one hand and your phone in the other, and his frustration dissipates. you rip your eyes from him, avoiding eye contact as you recount what went down within those months with taesan. when your friend crouches beside you, you try to keep your feelings at bay. after all, it’s better to keep everything to yourself.

yet, it takes jaehyun’s hand against your back for the tears to finally come out.

you disappointed your friends as you continued to see taesan without their knowledge. you disappointed yourself by thinking something could come out of your months spent with him.

but most of all, you disappointed taesan by becoming another person who caught feelings.

(and what’s worse to say is that you hold out hope that he’d come running back to you. you’d forgive, and forgive, and forgive. you’d accept him back with open arms no matter what.)

(so for now, you’re left looking for anything that could fill the void that he’s left until he comes back.)

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @blankjournal @onedoornet @kstrucknet

boynextdoor permanent tag list: @bndokidoki @0310s @whyilovewhales-pdf

[unhakzlvr]

── 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 | han taesan

SYNOPSIS: You hate Taesan. You hate his stupid hair, his stupid laugh, his stupid band, and his stupid attitude. Of course you didn't always think this way, when he first approached you to help him advertise his band you were more than happy to help out considering the fact that you harboured a massive crush on him, and you thought feelings were reciprocated on his end too. But following a misunderstanding you now find yourself having to spend 2 months together working on promoting his new band all whilst fighting the urge to strangle him. But as summer goes on you realise, maybe you do have a soft spot for taesan.

PAIRINGS: band leader!taesan x photographer!female reader GENRE: smau + written e2l miscommunication trope WARNINGS: eji from ichillin as YN face claim, cursing, kys/kms jokes, future warnings will be added on in each chapter!

PLEASE DO NOT SPAM LIKE! spam liking rules still apply for smaus so please do rb instead of spam liking TT I don't want to be shadowbanned !!

back to masterlist!

profiles : DA BIG 6 | rawr xd club

CHAPTERS | titles are subject to change #01 ── in this band shit for life #02 ── #needthat #03 ── don’t fumble challenge go! #04 ── oopsie 🌼 #05 ── ijbol moment #06 ── dniym??? #07 ── freak my stupid baka life . . . tba

taglist ── open ! send an ask or comment to be added ^^

@downmainstreet @honniebabez @nujeskz @snoozbin @lovaeri @onlyhyunjin @shoberi @sainns @yujinify @haechology @5ofclubs @jlheon @woorcve @love-4-keum @molensworld @minjify @cherrytaesan @film-sea @tkooooop @astrae4 @amarecerasus @noodlesfeet @rikisluv

networks- @onedoornet

word from wam 🗯️ errr first smau lolsies, ik i have barely any followers here but this is for mainly for me bc i have had this idea rotting in my mind for decades ijbol. also the header is ugly but its my first time using photoshop pls let a girl live....

[taesanrot]

[moved on] fwb!taesan x f!reader | 0.7k words shorter drabble inspired by the song moved on by laundry day!

my heart is saying things my mind just cannot speak ... i don't know what is wrong with me

taesan was an avoidant. he was good at ignoring things, pushing away the elephant in the room and pretending he doesn't care, that it couldn't bother him any less. he was good at ignoring the way your glances at him grew longer and fonder. he was even better at ignoring the way your doe eyes and soft hair made his heart race and stomach turn.

i'm clinging onto you just like i cannot breathe ... i don't know what is wrong with me

he knew it hurt you and he hated himself for it. you two had agreed to keep things between the two of you casual, seeking comfort in each others' touch in the late hours of the weekend and barely speaking the days in between. at the time it started, taesan's fleeting presence filled you up, bringing you out of the emotional trenches school had sent you into.

maybе I'm the problem saying this is alright ... am i coming on too strong?

that was your first mistake -- you should've known you were setting yourself up for failure right then and there. letting the raven haired boy light up your day with a simple stroke of his hand against your cheek; your heart never stood a chance against the curse of time.

please make sure you call, just to say it's alright ... am i waking you all night?

as the days passed, it was taesan who became the reason you ached on late nights. staring at your still unread message, you wondered why things were like this. the boy's actions twisted your mind in ways he'd never know. at times like this your mind flashed back to the way he was after the sun had set, when it was just the two of you in your own world.

we get together but things might just be better if we moved on

the way his warm lips felt against your neck, the way his fingers burned into your skin, it was all imprinted on your mind. the moments you two shared felt so intimate, and they replayed in your mind over and over like a broken record.

turning around under your heavy blanket for the tenth time that night, you screwed your eyes shut as more and more memories invaded your mind and dreams.

the two of you had been watching a movie, your head laying on his chest and his hand rubbing your shoulder softly. eyes trained on your laptop, you almost missed taesan’s face in your peripheral vision, peeking over at you. he had a habit of doing this — you always assumed he was simply checking if you were awake. you always stayed silent, just smiling and blinking delicately at him.

“i’m awake, san” you don’t know what made you blurt out defensively, but taesan shook his head softly at your words.

“i know, i was just looking at you.” your stomach still turns at the thought of the smile he was adorning as those words fell from his pretty lips.

his fond smile only looked wicked to you now, his words singing your skin and burning your resolve. how could he say all of that without feeling a single thing? you thought to yourself bitterly.

am i giving you up? ... changing seasons, can't believe it now i'm leaving you

sometimes taesan too thought he was insane. it stung to think about the sweet things he'd said or done to you -- it scared him how he meant it all completely. the boy didn't know what was wrong with him, why he couldn't just let the two of you be happy and togehter. he felt like a speed bump in the road, stubbornly and selfishly guarding his heart at the expense of your fragile mind.

hindsight is 20/20, and sitting alone in his cold and you-less bed, taesan knows what he should've done and said to you, what was staring him in the face this whole time. he was utterly in love with you and he didn't even realize.

bitterly, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and reads over your last text to him again.

[2:47 a.m]

y/n: i can't keep doing this anymore. i'm sorry, let's stop seeing each other.

you have been blocked by this number!

[lovaeri]

tender care in the rain ୨୧ 한동민 ( taesan ) x gnr est relationship + 477 fluff cw reader is sick mentions of food not proof read

( 𝓯iles © lovaeri; 2024 )

the sound of gentle rain pattering against the windowpane was a soothing backdrop to the otherwise quiet room.

you were curled up on the couch, a soft blanket wrapped around you, trying to fight off a stubborn cold that had taken hold. your head felt heavy, and your throat ached, but you felt a bit better knowing taesan was around. 

taesan, your thoughtful and caring boyfriend, had been by your side since you first started feeling unwell. he moved quietly around the apartment, making sure everything you might need was within reach.

the comforting aroma of chicken soup wafted from the kitchen, mingling with the scent of vanilla lavender from the diffuser he had set up to help you breathe easier.

he appeared in the living room with a tray in hand, balancing a bowl of steaming soup, a glass of water, and a small dish of sliced fruit.

his eyes softened with concern as he looked at you. "how are you feeling, love?" he asked softly, setting the tray down on the coffee table. he gently pushed a strand of hair behind your ear and placed a cool hand on your forehead.

"i miss being able to breathe normally," you pouted, earning a laugh from your boyfriend. "but thank you for cooking for me."

taesan's face lit up with a small smile. "i made it just for you. it's an old recipe my mom used to make when i was sick. always made me feel better."

you took a spoonful of the soup, savoring the warmth and the comforting flavors. it did seem to ease the tightness in your chest a little. taesan watched you with a satisfied expression, clearly happy to see you eating.

he settled beside you, his presence a comforting anchor. as you sipped the soup, he reached for the remote and turned on your favorite studio ghibli movie, knowing it would distract you from how lousy you were feeling.

he didn't hover or fuss too much, just stayed close, his hand finding yours and giving it a gentle squeeze every now and then.

throughout the day, taesan kept you company, sharing quiet conversation, soft laughter, and moments of comfortable silence. he fetched tissues, occasionally giving you forehead kisses, and even sang softly to you when you started to doze off. his voice, gentle and melodic, was like a balm to your weary soul. as evening fell, you felt a bit better, though still exhausted.

taesan helped you to bed, making sure you were tucked in snugly. he placed a tender kiss on your temple and whispered, "get some rest, baby. i’ll be right here if you need anything."

you drifted off to sleep, feeling grateful and cherished. taesan's unwavering care and love had turned a miserable day into a reminder of just how lucky you were to have him by your side.

love from rin. imagine watching howls moving castle with taesan 😞

[minjify]

LOVE LANGUAGES ʚɞ ot6

BOYNEXTDOOR — ot6 synopsis love languages they mostly show p bnd x reader g established relationships skinship fluff petnames not proofread w 600

notes ; first post yayy

박성호 — PARK SUNGHO

words of affirmation

“has anyone ever told you how lucky they are to have you in their lives?”

that caught you off guard. you knew it shouldn’t come as a surprise anymore but it always does. his tendency to suddenly say things like that.

he had no idea how much it affects you, the love for him you already had kept filling up much more with every word he says.

“no” you say, nonchalantly, however, “you’re the first one i think” if only he knew how loud your heart was beating right now. or how you were fighting all the urge to kiss him at that moment.

“well i should say it more often then” he says, then going back to taking a spoonful of his food like he didn’t just uttered words that would keep you awake at night.

김동현 — KIM DONGHYUN

quality time

no matter how busy you both can be, leehan will find a way to be beside you. knocking on your door on a random thursday finding you slumped over your textbooks.

he would promptly drag you out of your room ignoring your groans and complaints. grabbing your jacket out of your closet and draping it over your figure.

“i need to study, hannie”

“you need a quick break, babe” he would say softly before sliding in your shoes and tying the shoelaces.

20 minutes later, you both ended up hand in hand savoring the ice cream under the sun by the park. leehan listening to you rambling about whatever has been going on with your life and smiling dumbly.

한동민 — HAN DONGMIN

physical touch

taesan didn’t notice it, but even if you two are together silence would usually seep in between your small talks.

you both would just suddenly stop talking and ultimately you, yourself would end up sleeping sprawled on top of him while on the couch.

it was still sunny outside, but the open curtains and the breeze and maybe the feel of taesan holding you had lulled you.

his hands firmly on your waist, rubbing smooth circles, unaware you were already dozed off, far too engrossed into the article he picked up.

his hand subconsciously trails up to lay on your head, patting and carving his fingers through.

when he finds out you were fast asleep he’d attempt to carry you to the bedroom so you’d feel more comfortable. just for him to end up cuddling you closer.

“sleep well, baby”

이상혁 — LEE SANGHYEOK

gift giving

riwoo would get you gifts at any moment he deems commendable. if it weren’t for his whines to get you to open the gifts you reckon your living room can be filled with just the mailboxes he get shipped to your house.

would never let you buy anything with your money under his watch. he got to know the things you liked and if anything reminded him of you, he’d immediately buy it with just one look.

“it’s okay, baby, it looks cute on you” smiling at your pout, admiring the way the glasses perched adorably on your nose.

after you decide it wasn’t all that bad, he offered to buy you a few more pairs only to get turned down by a firm ‘no’.

he’d show up at your doorstep a week later, however, with two or maybe three boxes on his hands. ready for them to be tried on.

명재현 — MYUNG JAEHYUN

acts of service

your nature of always being a hard worker especially at school burdened not only you at times, but jaehyun as well. well, not entirely, but he felt that burden anyway.

he hated two things — seeing you hunched over papers and textbooks and second, your awfully heavy backpack that you just have to bring to school everyday.

jaehyun always wondered why you couldn’t have left some of the books at school or at home, but whenever he brought it up you’d just brush it off continuing to carry your bag all the way home.

he kept up with it for some time. until it annoyed him to lengths and he’d end up holding the bag for you anyway. even if you had tried to reach back for it with a few curses and a hit on his arm.

“you shouldn’t carry this much, your back will hurt” he mumbles, looking away. “let me carry them for you, i’m stronger anyway”

김운학 — KIM WOONHAK

physical touch

you were never keen of too much touching. there were definitely a lot of other ways to show your affection towards someone and you felt that excessive skinship was not your personal favorite.

that was until you met woonhak. even before dating he was already clingy, not as close as he is now but clingy enough.

he needs to be holding you some way, feeling like something’s out of place if he didn’t. and it grew on you. whenever you both were out or just conveniently together, his elbows would be touching yours or your hands would be intertwined.

woonhak loved late study nights, but not for the obvious reasons. he loves when you both would take the bus ride back home and you’d fall asleep on his shoulder. it was one if the moments where he realizes you felt completely safe with him and he can’t help but adore you much more.

he loves the way you would slowly blink your eyes open confusedly when he softly wakes you up as the bus arrives at your stop and how, for a change, you’d get clingy instead of him.

[lionhanie]

han taesan ; back 2 u (series masterlist)

you can’t help but find yourself coming back to taesan everytime

fuckboy!taesan x fem!reader, college au

...featuring! BFFS jaehyun + woonhak, fuckboy leehan (AND he's taesan's roommate), and lovely roomies sungho + riwoo <3

series warnings: cursing, alcohol/drug mention and usage (woonhak excluded), toxic relationship dynamics, angst, suggestive content but no actual smut (relevant warnings will be included under their respective parts!)

a/n: this series was HEAVILY inspired by everytime by ariana grande, so i highly suggest you listen to it before reading ^_^

likes ♡ and reblogs ↺ always appreciated!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PROLOGUE (the realization)

word count: ~460

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PART ONE (origins)

word count: 1.7k

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PART TWO (the aftermath)

word count: 3.1k

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PART THREE (hope lost)

word count: 3.7k

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PART FOUR (jealousy, jealousy)

word count: 11.1k

TO BE CONTINUED...

series taglist (updated as of 7/10): @minwrlds @luna2nite @taesancore @cherrytaesan @helpsplease

@taylorluvation @serejae @dimplewonie @nikiismyhb @amarecerasus 

@tkooooop @lilriswife4life @marwoo2sn @brachioswrld @haechology

@skepvids @isabellah29 @nujeskz @xoxocarat @baevsxii

@babyboomysweetiedarling @yunjinluv7 @woorcve

© lionhanie 2024 ; all rights reserved!

[lxvemaze]

⫸ you know i love you

synopsis. when your best friend needs to show his parents that he's settled down enough for them to offer him a job in their company, he asks for your help- in the form of a fake engagement.

pairing. nonidol!/ceo's son!cha eunwoo x reader

genre. ceo's son au, childhood friends to lovers, fake relationship

wc. 10k!! (longest fic i've ever published, bear with me.)

warnings. some mild sexual references, some hurt lots of comfort, dongmin is silly, is jinwoo a wingman or a shit starter? we'll never know

a/n. this idea popped into my mind and i just loved it so much, i had to write it. happy holidays, ya'll!

January 15th

“There is no way in hell you’re actually that stupid.”

“I’m not stupid! You’re just not hearing me out!” Dongmin called out from the small couch in the living room of your sixth-floor studio apartment as you leaned against the counter in the kitchen, waiting for the water for your tea to boil.

You and Dongmin have been friends for over twenty years now. His father was the CEO of a huge company, his mother was the CFO of the same company, and your mother was their housekeeper. She was also basically Dongmin’s nanny, tutor, and personal chef. Starting from the age of six years old, your mother worked out a deal with Dongmin’s parents so that every day after school, their personal driver would pick Dongmin up from his fancy private school, then drive to your significantly less fancy public school, and then drive the two of you back to Dongmin’s house, where the two of you would hang out and do your homework while your mother took care of things around the house until Dongmin’s parents came home.

This routine lasted until the two of you graduated high school. Over the years, the two of you had become close as could be, even hanging out on the weekends. There was never room for any doubt in your friendship; even though Dongmin had gone to Oxford University in the UK, which was arguably the most extra school he’d gotten accepted into (you had begged him to go to Columbia University so you could visit New York), you stayed home and worked in your father’s little corner store. But even so, Dongmin traveled home for every long weekend, every holiday, and every vacation he had. And he spent all the time he was home with you.

You’d done a lot of dumb things to get each other out of a lot of sticky situations in the past, but what he was suggesting now was a new low.

“Well, I don’t really think getting married is the best course of action.” You mused as you poured the hot water into the two waiting mismatched coffee mugs.

“You’re not listening!” Dongmin exclaimed as he hopped over the back of the couch and strolled into the kitchen, leaning on the counter as he watched you steep the tea.

“Then explain to me how this is a good idea.”

“Because. I’m pushing thirty now-”

“You’re twenty seven.”

“Pushing thirty. And my folks want to retire soon, and my dad wants me to take his place, which is like, what I’ve been shooting for since I was a kid. But my mom is pushing back because she thinks I’m not mature enough. She says that she won’t even think about letting me join the company until I’ve shown that I’ve settled down.”

“You go to the club literally every weekend. I think I might be on your mom’s side on this one.” You handed Dongmin his mug of tea and strolled into the living room, settling down on the couch, and picking up the remote to browse for a movie to watch.

“Yeah, but if I stop going to the club for a while and make it look like I'm in a serious relationship, then my mom will see how mature I’ve gotten, and let me join the company!” Dongmin gleefully relayed his plan to you as he stole the blanket from your lap and wrapped it around himself, curling into the other corner of the couch.

“And you think that us getting married is your best bet?”

“Not married! Fake engaged. There’s a difference.”

“Let me reiterate; you really think getting fake engaged to me is the best idea?”

Dongmin turned to you, confusion written all over his face, “yeah? You’re like, my best friend.”

“Well, duh. I just think your mom would prefer it if you got engaged to like, another rich girl.”

Dongmin rolled his eyes and snatched the remote out of your hand, scrolling for a moment before pressing play on a random nature documentary. “I think my mom would see it as a win either way. She’s been on my ass to get into a serious relationship since I started university. Which is totally unfair, by the way! Jinwoo hasn’t had a date since middle school, and he’s already on track to be the COO at his dad’s company. And Myungjun’s had like, twelve relationships in the past year and a half, and his startup is already turning a massive profit.”

“Rich people problems.” You sighed, watching as a lion on TV devoured a gazelle.

“Yeah, it is. But I never ask you for anything. I think you owe me. And I can’t keep working at Minhyuk’s parents company forever. It’s getting kind of embarrassing.”

You remembered all the times that Dongmin paid to have you flown out to England, paid for you to stay in fancy hotels, car service, room service, treated you to extravagant meals, the tens of thousands of dollars worth of birthday and Christmas presents he’d bought you over the years. And you realize, he’s right. You do owe him.

“Okay…We need a plan.”

Dongmin practically jumped out of his seat at your sudden agreement. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” You sighed, reaching over to grab the remote, turning the TV down. “But we’re gonna need it to be airtight if we want this to be believable.”

“You’re the smart one. Just tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it.”

As you looked at Dongmin’s gleeful face, you almost regretted agreeing to his scheme. Dongmin saw the crease between your brows, and reached over to poke your shoulder.

“Hey, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I know it’s kind of a lot.”

You brushed him off with a shrug of your shoulder. “No, you’re right. I owe you. This is honestly the least I could do.”

“Then let’s do this.” He grinned, holding up his pinkie finger in front of you. You playfully rolled your eyes with a scoff before linking your pinkie in his.

“Let’s do it.”

January 18th

“No, that one’s not big enough.”

You sighed as Dongmin rejected yet another one of your suggestions. “I’m the one who has to wear it, why do you have such a strong opinion?”

“Because I’m the one buying it!”

You and Dongmin were currently at a swanky jewelry shop searching for the perfect engagement ring. At seven in the morning. On a Thursday. Neither of you were in a particularly good mood.

“Shouldn’t you want a smaller ring, then?” You questioned his logic, looking up at him with a cocked brow.

“Hey, only the best for my future wifey-poo.” Dongmin made a kissy face at you, causing you to audibly groan in disgust, pushing his face away. You ignored his giggles as you felt your phone buzz. You saw the most recent text was from your father, asking you to come into work early to help him open his corner store.

“Okay. Well, I have to go to work.”

“Nooooo! You can’t make me do this by myself! The dinner’s next weekend and we won’t have time to meet up again before then.” He protested, grabbing your arm and bouncing on the balls of his feet like a spoiled child- which he was.

“I would say I trust you, but I don’t. You know my ring size, I don’t want anything big, I don’t want anything gold, do not get me anything square cut, and for the love of God, please just ask the lady at the counter for help instead of just buying me the first thing you see that you don’t hate.” You patted his shoulder and made your way out the shop, waving a goodbye to him over your shoulder. You could see Dongmin’s downtrodden expression in the reflection on the glass door as you left. You just hoped he would get you something understated. You would be having to wear it every day for the foreseeable future.

You and Dongmin had spent nearly three hours the other night working out your plan.

Dongmin had invited his parents over for dinner at his swanky penthouse next Saturday night. He’d hired a fancy chef to make the dinner, and a decorator to make his apartment look not so “twenty seven year old single man-child”. After the main course and right before dessert, he would stand from his chair and announce that he had something important to say. Then, he would turn to you, get on one knee, and propose with whatever hopefully not-ugly ring he’d chosen today. To which his parents would hopefully be overjoyed and proud, and after at most a few months, they’d realize how mature he’d gotten since getting engaged, and give him the job in their company.

You weren’t sure it would work, you weren’t sure how long it would take, but you were determined to go through with it. After all the amazing opportunities and experiences that Dongmin had given you over the years, you figured that the least you could do was pretend to be his fiancee for a few months.

January 27th

Today was the day he would propose. You’ve never been this stressed in your entire life. A package had been delivered to your door with a note from Dongmin inside, “Blue has always been your color.” You had been staring at the dress in the box for the past ten minutes, trying to not think about how many thousands of dollars he’d spent on it. He was right, though. He’d taken you to Japan for spring break a few years ago and the two of you’d gotten a color palette analysis done. You’d have assumed he’d forgotten all about it, but the beautiful navy dress on your bed proved otherwise.

You looked at the time on your phone, the numbers 4:27 glared up at you, eliciting a sigh from your mouth. The weight of your actions was starting to weigh down on your shoulders. Why did you have to agree to this? It’s not like you didn’t like Dongmin’s family- they were fine! From the limited interactions you’d had with them over the years and from what Dongmin’s told you about them, they were perfectly nice people. But it was only natural for you to be a little bit intimidated by them. They were wealthy, powerful people, and you were about to get “engaged” to their son.

You got ready slowly, almost unconsciously dragging out the process as long as you could. Your phone rang right as you were slipping on the sleek black pumps Dongmin had bought for you last summer while he was vacationing in Paris.

“Yes?” You picked up the phone, looking at yourself in the mirror one last time before meeting your doom. You looked good. Hopefully good enough.

“I’m waiting in the car. Are you ready?” Dongmin’s pixelated voice rang out through the phone. You grabbed your purse, put on your coat, took a deep breath, and walked out your door.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Without another word, Dongmin hung up the call. You scoffed and dumped your phone in your bag. You silently thanked whatever invisible force was on your side that day, as the elevator in your building that had been broken for the past two months had finally gotten fixed. You were not looking forward to walking down six flights of stairs in those heels.

As soon as you walked outside your building, you spotted Dongmin’s fancy black car. You couldn’t see him through the tinted windows, but you knew it was him when his driver stepped outside and walked around the car to open the back door for you. You slid into the backseat where Dongmin was playing a game on his phone. He looked up at you briefly, mumbling a “Hey”, and going back to staring at the screen.

You rolled your eyes at your iPad kid of a best friend and rested your head on the window as the car drove through the busy city streets.

Twenty minutes later, you pulled up to Dongmin’s penthouse. No matter how many times you’d been there, you would always be in awe at the massive building.

“You okay?” You turned to look at Dongmin as he spoke, meeting his eyes, seeing the concerned look on his face, you put on a smile, and lightly punched his shoulder as his driver opened the door.

“Of course. Not like I’m about to pretend to get engaged to my best friend in front of his family or anything.”

Dongmin didn’t look convinced as he took your hand in his before you had the chance to leave the car. “You know, it’s not too late to back out.”

His words didn’t do anything to quell the uncertainty in your stomach. But still, you put on a brave face and playfully rolled your eyes. “As if anyone else would be willing to get engaged to you.”

Your words seemed to sate Dongmin’s concern as he rolled his eyes in turn and shoved your arm, prompting you to step out of the car. You looked up at the tall building in front of you and took a shaky breath. It’s not like it was real. You didn’t actually have to get married to him or anything. It was all temporary.

“They’ll be here any minute. We should go up.” Dongmin’s warm breath on your ear caused you to jump, prompting him to flash you a confused look. You shook your head and followed him into the building, mentally hyping yourself up for the night that was to come.

|

“You look beautiful, darling.”

Dongmin’s parents had arrived ten minutes after you had, and you had been internally screaming the entire time since then. You were sat next to Dongmin at the table in his huge dining room with his mother sitting directly across from you. 

“Ah, thank you so much. You know, Dongmin bought pretty much my entire outfit.” You replied, doing your best to keep your shaky hands still as you cut through your expensive steak. You could see Dongmin trying to hold in his laughter in the corner of your eye. Clearly seeing you in intense mental turmoil was funny to him.

“Oh, our Dongmin has always been such a thoughtful boy.”

Thoughtful. Hilarious.

“Yeah, he’s great.”

“So, dear, are you still working at your fathers shop?”

You took a sip of wine and wiped your fingers on your napkin. “Yeah, I am. But I’m planning on applying to some jobs in corporate. Even if just working in the mail room or reception.”

“Oh! Well, I’m sure we could find you a job somewhere in our company. I’m sure I know someone that could use a secretary or assistant.” Dongmin’s father spoke up, causing Dongmin to choke on his wine. You lightly patted his back as he coughed into his elbow, offering a tight-lipped smile to his confused parents.

“That’s very kind, but you really don’t have to do that.” You spoke over Dongmin’s coughing.

“We’d love to have you in our company, really. You and your parents are practically family.”

Dongmin took a deep breath as his coughing fit came to an end. “Are you guys for real?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t we be?”

Dongmin stayed quiet for the rest of the main course, leaving you alone to continue awkwardly conversing with his parents, and ignoring every kick under the table that you gave him.

“So Dongmin, why did you set up this dinner, anyway?” Dongmin’s mother asked, leaning back in her chair as dessert was being made.

“Well…” Dongmin started. ‘Here we go’ you thought as your leg started shaking. “You know that the two of us have been friends for a long time.” He continued, taking your hand in his, looking at you with what anyone on the outside would see as fondness, but you knew from the look in his eyes that he was struggling to not burst out laughing.

“I hope this doesn’t come as a shock to you two, but we’re ready to take the next step…” Dongmin rose from his seat and pushed it to the side, immediately dropping to one knee in front of you. He softly spoke your name as he looked up at you. You could tell he was about to lose it.

You heard his mother gasp from the other side of the table as he continued, “You’ve been by my side for as long as I can remember. You’ve been my best friend, my partner in crime, and my biggest supporter. We’ve been through every step of our lives together. But I want to go through the next part of our lives…With you as my wife.”

If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that his speech was very sweet. But you did know better. And now you were the one struggling to hold in your laughter.

Dongmin reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box, “Will you marry me?” He opened the box and your jaw hit the ground. He did good. He did really good. The ring was exactly what you wanted. It was a small round cut diamond surrounded by smaller gems on a beautiful silver band.

You ecstatically nodded your head, holding out your hand for Dongmin to slip the ring onto your finger. The two of you stood up and hugged each other tightly. “I asked the lady at the counter.” He whispered in your ear. You giggled into his shoulder before his mother spoke up.

“Well, it’s about time!”

The smiles immediately dropped off of your faces. 

…What?

The two of you pulled away from each other, slowly turning to look at his parents as they beamed at the two of you from across the table.

“The two of you have been attached at the hip since you were kids. It was only a matter of time.” His father agreed, holding his wife’s hand as the two of them looked up at you with an endearing gaze.

“...Huh?”

February 11th

“Oh yeah, my mom is throwing a valentine’s day party and she wants to know if you’re gonna be there.”

Dongmin was in your kitchen drying and putting away dishes as you washed them.

“Why would I be there?”

“...Because we’re engaged?”

“Oh, yeah.”

You hadn’t actually forgotten. You couldn’t now that your parents knew. As soon as your mother had shown up to work the day after the dinner, Dongmin’s mom was immediately gushing about the engagement that you had forgotten to let your mom in on. Your mom immediately called your dad to tell him about it, and then he immediately called you.

You couldn’t just tell them that it was a lie- they were just so happy about it, you didn’t have the heart to break it to them.

“I can’t just show up to my parents' valentine's party without my fiancée.” Dongmin whined as he put away your ancient cast-iron frying pan. You rolled your eyes behind his back.

“You don’t have to show up at all, actually.”

“Let’s be real for a second. There is no way that my mother will let me get out of going to one of her parties, and I really don’t want to go by myself.” Dongmin gave you his best puppy dog eyes, which caused you to physically hold yourself back from laughing in his face.

“Pleeeeease. I’ll buy you a new outfit for it. I swear to God, you’ll be the prettiest girl there. I’ll have to be constantly throwing hands to keep those gross corporate men’s hands off my gorgeous fiancée.”

“Whatever. I’ll go. You don’t have to buy me a new outfit.” You relented, drying off your hands before opening the fridge to grab a soda.

“You aren’t wearing your ring.”

You looked down at your left hand before looking back up at Dongmin, “Yeah. Our parents aren’t around, why would I?”

You didn’t see Dongmin’s pout as you flopped onto the couch, wrapping a blanket around yourself as you settled into the squishy furniture.

“Okay, but I spent a lot of money on that rock. Also, didn’t you say it put off that creepy guy who works at the coffee shop?” Dongmin hopped over the back of the couch to sit right next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Well, yeah. I wear it in public. But why would I wear it when I’m in the comfort of my own home?” You moved his arm from your shoulder, opting to ignore the disappointed sigh that came from your best friend.

“I’ll take you shopping for the party tomorrow. Get you a cute dress and shoes or whatever.”

“You don’t have to spend money on me, Dongmin.”

“I don’t care. I want to.”

You glanced at Dongmin to see him pouting with his hands in his lap, watching silently as you scrolled through Netflix instead of snatching the remote from your hands and picking a show like he usually would. You sighed and laid your head on his shoulder, feeling his breath stop for a second before he rested his head on top of your own.

Dongmin is your best friend. He’s helped you so much in so many ways, and you genuinely would do anything for him, and you think he’d do the same for you. Ever since you agreed to get fake engaged to him, there was a thought in the back of your mind; “What if this ruins our friendship?” You pushed it aside at first, brushing it off as a stupid anxiety-induced worry. But every day since then, the thought has only grown more and more prominent.

“I’m free after two.”

You could feel the smile in Dongmin’s cheeks and he wrapped his arm around you, holding you close as you finally settled on a movie.

God, you hoped you were wrong.

February 14th

“Keep your eyes closed!”

“They are closed.”

“You better not be peeping.”

“This may come as a shock to you, but I actually really do not want to see you naked!”

You were in Dongmin’s bedroom getting ready for his parents' valentine's day party. You’d have gotten ready at your own apartment, but Dongmin had called you over to help him decide on what to wear, so you decided to just bring your clothes with you and get ready there. Which was probably a good idea, because unlike your apartment, Dongmin’s penthouse actually had a full-length mirror and good lighting.

Dongmin had taken you shopping the day before, and despite your protesting, bought you an inordinately expensive, albeit beautiful, blush-pink dress, and a pair of white pumps. They were beautiful, and although you appreciated Dongmin being so willing to spend money on you, you hated knowing the actual number that he was spending.

“Okay, you can look now.”

You waited patiently for Dongmin’s response after he opened his eyes, but he just looked at you with a blank stare. You looked down at yourself, thinking you might have forgotten to zip a zipper, or your dress had gotten stuck somewhere.

“What?”

“No. Nothing. It looks good.” Dongmin cleared his throat and pulled his phone out of his pocket, quickly typing something before standing up and leaving the room. “You coming?” He called over his shoulder.

“...Okay…” You said under your breath, grabbing your phone from his vanity and following him out of the room. You felt Dongmin’s eyes on you as you put on your coat, looking up at him with a raised brow, he quickly turned away and busied himself with tying his shoes.

“Okay, let’s go.” Dongmin quickly hurried out the door, leaving you behind in a confused state. You shook your head before turning out the lights, setting the alarm system, and locking the door behind you.

You knew you were in for a long night.

|

“Well, aren’t you two just a beautiful couple!” Dongmin’s mother called the two of you out immediately as you walked through the doors to their impressive home. You were no stranger to the glamour and wealth of the Lee’s life, but it still threw you off to see so many beautiful, wealthy people all in one place. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Lee.” She greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, and her son with a tight embrace. You looked around the room to see some vaguely familiar faces; you recognized Park Jinwoo’s parents conversing with Dongmin’s father, someone by the drinks table who you were pretty sure was named Yoon Sanha, and the three of Dongmin’s friends that you were actually on a first-name basis with, Bin, Myungjun, and Minhyuk, greeted the two of you with a wave from the other side of the room.

“Well, you two have fun! We have food, drinks, desserts, whatever you like!”

“Thanks, mom.” Dongmin took your hand and led you over to his friends, meanwhile, the sudden realization that you hadn’t seen any of these people since long before your fake engagement hit you like a ton of bricks. You could see them smirking at the two of you as you neared. Dongmin felt the shift in your demeanor and he turned to look at you, your face had paled as if all the blood had drained from your face. 

“Just be chill.” He whispered to you as you neared the small group. You gave him a small nod, and quickly plastered a smile back onto your face.

“Hey guys how’s it-” Dongmin was cut off by Myungjun grabbing him by the shoulders and giving him a shake.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us that the two of you were even dating! And now you’re engaged!”

“Yeah, man. How could you not tell us?” Minhyuk added on as Bin shook his head in disappointment at the two of you.

“Believe me, it was a surprise for us, too.” You joked as Myungjun turned to you and wrapped his arms around you in a back-breaking hug.

“Well, I’m happy for you two. I think we were just all surprised it took you two this long.” Bin smiled at the two of you as he took a sip of his champagne. You and Dongmin briefly made eye contact before awkwardly smiling at the group.

“Yeah, that’s what everyone’s been saying.” Dongmin slipped his hand back into yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. You gave him a small smile, trying to give off the best “head-over-heels in love” vibe that you could. You weren’t sure how convincing you were being, but Dongmin always was a good actor. He’d make it work.

At some point in the party, you’d ended up at the drinks table, a champagne flute in your hand as you leaned against the wall, trying to recharge from being bombarded with questions and congratulations from people you’d never met. You weren’t sure where Dongmin had ended up- the last you saw, he’d been taken aside by Minhyuk’s father to talk about some business stuff that you didn’t understand nor particularly care about.

You were content with standing in the corner people-watching before someone you hadn’t spoken to for years sidled up to you.

“Well, don’t you look nice?”

You froze in place when you heard the voice of Park Jinwoo addressing you. You slowly turned your head in his direction. Shit. He looked really good. You’d had a little bit of a crush- no, you’d had a massive crush on him while you were in highschool. He was one of Dongmin’s closest friends back in the day, but you’d only seen him a few times since he’d gotten back from university. You thought he was really cute back then, but he’d really grown into his looks. He’d gotten a little bit taller (at least, he was a little bit taller than you, now), he’d gotten a nice haircut, you could tell he’s been hitting the gym, and from your many late nights staying up late stalking his Instagram, you knew that he’d gotten a few tattoos. And he’s single.

“Oh…Hey, Jinwoo. Nice to see you again.”

“No need to be so formal. We’ve known each other a long time.” Jinwoo stood next to you and leaned on the wall, mirroring your stance. “Congrats on the engagement by the way. Didn’t see that one coming.”

“Really?” You scoffed, taking a sip of champagne, “seems like you’re the only one who didn’t.”

“Yeah, well, I was under the impression that you were into someone else until now.”

His statement caused you to choke on your champagne. You cleared your throat and shook your head. Jinwoo stayed silent, simply smirking at you as he took a sip of wine. “Well, I guess you were wrong.”

“Guess so. It’s funny, I was so sure I was right. I mean, it’s not every day someone you haven’t spoken to in years likes one of your four-year-old Instagram posts at three in the morning.”

You were about to refute his accusation before you were cut off by a very welcome interruption. “You two enjoying yourselves?” Dongmin approached the two of you, a glass of champagne in hand, and an indecipherable look on his face. He stood right beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist, staring directly at Jinwoo.

“Just fine.” Jinwoo replied with the same smirk as before, taking a sip of wine as he eyed Dongmin. “You two look good together.”

“Yeah. We do.”

The vibe of the room had massively shifted since Dongmin had approached you two. His hand had moved down from your waist to your hip, and he was holding you tighter than ever. Your eyes darted between Jinwoo and Dongmin, waiting for one of them to say something, but they both remained quiet, their eye contact unwavering.

“Well, I’m happy for you two. See you at the wedding.” Jinwoo gave you a quick wink before flashing Dongmin a smirk and walking off into the crowd. You looked up at Dongmin who still had that look on his face. You’d never seen that look before.

“Let’s go.” He said, grabbing your hand and walking in the direction of the front door.

“Go where?”

“Home.”

“Whose home?”

“Mine.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to be here.”

“Okay…But maybe we should say goodbye to your parents and friends first?”

Dongmin paused in his tracks, you could see him roll his eyes before nodding in agreement. He dragged you around the house to bid quick goodbyes to his family and friends before he walked the two of you to the foyer, helping you with your coat, and dragging you into his car. He’d driven the two of you there himself, and you were honestly worried that in his current mood, the night was going to end up with the two of you crashing into a tree.

You stayed silent for the first few minutes of the trip, your hands folded in your lap. You’d rarely seen Dongmin so irritated- his hands were tightly gripping the steering feel, and you could practically hear his jaw clenching. You felt like a scolded child the way you were so hesitant to say anything to him.

“Are you okay?”

Dongmin sighed heavily. Glancing over at you, his demeanor melting as he saw you staring at him with that concerned look on your face. His grip on the steering wheel relaxed, and he reached over to hold your left hand in his own, his thumb lightly brushing over your ring finger.

“I’m okay. Just tired, I guess.”

The two of you stayed silent for the rest of the drive to Dongmin’s penthouse. The car was filled with a tense air, even as Dongmin gently held your hand, you couldn’t help but feel you’d done something wrong.

The two of you made your way up to Dongmin’s apartment, turning off the alarm and kicking your shoes off as soon as you were in the door. Without a word, Dongmin went straight to his bedroom, leaving you sighing as you made your way to the guest room. Usually your apartment was the designated hangout spot, Dongmin always said it was more “cozy”, but you’d still stayed over at Dongmin’s enough for you to have a drawer of clothes in his guest room and a toothbrush in the bathroom.

You had been laying in bed for at least an hour at that point. You’d tried to sleep, you really had, but you couldn’t stop thinking about what you could have possibly said to make Dongmin act the way he did. So you resorted to scrolling on your phone to calm your mind, before you heard a light knock on the bedroom door.

You padded over to it, cracking it open to see Dongmin on the other side, nervously shifting his weight between his feet.

“Hey…” He whispered, leaning on the doorway as he looked around the room, doing all he could to not make direct eye contact with you. “I…I guess I wanted to apologize for being a total dickhead tonight.”

“Yeah…You kinda were.”

He smiled at the ground, his eyes still not meeting yours. “Well, I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know. I don’t really have an excuse.”

His eyes finally met yours.

“Are we cool?”

You let out a short laugh and rolled your eyes, poking his arm before responding, “we were always cool.”

He smiled fondly down at you, reaching his arms out, prompting you to lean into him and wrap your arms around his waist, your head comfortably resting on his chest. The two of you stood silently for a minute, his head resting on top of yours. Before pulling away, he gave you a quick peck on top of your head, flashing you a quick smile before taking a step back.

“Goodnight, fiancée.”

“Goodnight, fiance.”

You were friends. Best friends. You always would be. But you were starting to like hearing him call you that.

June 20th

You thought it would be over by now. You thought it would’ve been a few months, a couple family dinners, maybe a fancy corporate party or two, Dongmin’s parents would give him a job in the company, and you could call off your engagement and go back to your normal lives. And yet here you were, six months later. Still engaged- fake engaged. Every time you got together with Dongmin’s family, he’d whisper to you, “I’m sure they’re gonna give the news tonight.” and yet, they never did. And both of your families and all of your friends were still convinced that the two of you were a happy soon-to-be-wed couple. His parents had even spent Easter at your family’s house. It was starting to feel too real.

And now here you were, sitting in a private plane, getting ready to embark on an all expenses paid two week long vacation to Lake Como- where the Lee family apparently owned a large plot of property. Because of course they did. You hadn’t ever realized exactly how wealthy Dongmin’s family was until you’d gotten engaged to him, and you felt more insecure in your own life by the day because of it.

“You want some more champagne?” At the question, you removed one of your earbuds and looked up from the book in your lap to Dongmin, who was sitting across from you, headphones on with his iPad resting on top of the table between the two of you. You shook your head wordlessly, putting the earbud back in place and returning to the book that you honestly couldn’t have relayed the plot of even with a gun to your head.

Planes are so boring.

Dongmin smirked up at you as if he could tell what was on your mind. “Told you you should have brought your laptop.”

“Shut up.” You muttered, flipping to the next page as if you were actually reading. “Why would I want to bring my laptop when I’m going to Italy? I don’t know about you, but I’m intending to actually enjoy myself while we’re there.”

“I don’t think Dongmin could enjoy himself without bringing his iPad.” His younger brother piped up from the seat across the aisle. 

“You’re literally playing Roblox right now.” Dongmin rolled his eyes as he removed his headphones.

“You cannot stop me from grinding on Dress To Impress.”

“You’re like, twenty five.”

“Yeah, and I’m absolutely eating these little kids up.”

“That’s a disturbing sentence.”

“You’re making it weird.”

“Back me up here.” Dongmin addressed you, taking his headphones off and tossing them to the side.

You stuck your tongue out at him before tossing your book in the same direction as his headphones- you’d finally given up on trying to read.

“You’re the worst.” Dongmin sighed.

“You like it.”

“I don’t get you two.”

The two of you quickly turned to Dongmin’s brother, who was still staring at his computer screen, undoubtedly still beefing with middle schoolers on Roblox.

“What do you mean?” Your voice cracked slightly as you asked the question. You could see Dongmin grimacing at it from across the table.

“I mean, you two have been together for like, years at this point. But I’ve never even seen you two kiss.”

“Years-? I mean, yeah. But what’s your point?” Dongmin stumbled over his words, crossing both his legs and arms in a painfully conspicuous fashion.

“I don’t know, it’s just weird. Are you two on some like, hardcore, celibate, not even kissing until you get married shit? I find that hard to believe since you’re like, always at each other's apartments- also like, why don’t you two just move in together? I’ve been to both of your guys’ places, and Dongmin’s is like, way nicer. I don’t know, you guys just aren’t like, a normal couple.”

You were in shock at how hard Dongmin’s brother clocked you. You hadn’t thought of any of that. Why the hell wouldn’t you two have kissed? Normal engaged people kiss. The two of you had never even had your mouths anywhere near each other.

“I’m sorry I haven’t ever made out with my fiancée in front of my little brother. That’s not something I’m into.” Dongmin mused as he picked up his headphones from the floor of the plane, placing them back over his head and resuming his show. You let out a silent sigh of relief at his smooth recovery. 

This was going to become a problem.

June 25th

You hadn't realized that mega yachts were a real thing until this morning when you and the Lee’s packed into the fancy black car that picked you up at their summer home and brought you to the lake, where you were met with the largest boat you’d ever laid eyes on.

After being “confronted” about your strange relationship by Dongmin’s brother on the plane, that same night, you and Dongmin stayed up late in your shared room discussing ways to make your relationship seem more natural.

“Well, we can’t just like, make out in front of your family.” You mused from your side of the ginormous bed in the room that had been assigned to you and Dongmin.

“Normal people don’t make out with each other in front of their families, I don’t think.” He agreed from his side of the bed, “But maybe, we could just like, I don’t know, maybe give each other a little peck on the cheek once in a while. Or call each other stupid pet names like ‘babe’ or ‘sweet cheeks’.”

“If you call me sweet cheeks, I will kill you.”

“No sweet cheeks, then.” Dongmin tossed his phone across the bed and turned to look at you, propping himself up on his elbow. You turned to him with a raised brow, tossing your phone in the same direction.

“What?”

“This is fun.” He smiled up at you, twirling a loose string on the blanket around his finger.

“Is it really?”

“Yeah.” He whispered before turning his back to you and flicking the “off” switch on the lamp on his bedside table. You settled into your pillows and breathed out a heavy sigh. You were having much less fun with this than Dongmin was.

You were currently laying down in a lounge chair on the bow of the yacht in your swimsuit, pretending to watch Dongmin as he repeatedly jumped off the side of the boat and clambered back up, asking you each time to rate his jump and the following splash. Dongmin’s brother was in the chair beside you, arm over his eyes, probably taking a nap. You were going to have to wake him up soon to tell him to reapply his sunscreen.

“Babe, watch this!” Dongmin called out to you, prompting you to look over to him, your hand shielding the sun from your eyes so you could see your fiance’s grinning face as he took a few steps back, dripping water onto the freshly mopped floor. He ran forward and jumped off the boat once again, you could see him lurch forward right before he leapt in what you were sure was a poorly executed attempt at a front-flip.

You grimaced as you heard the splash- you had a feeling that he’d landed face-first. Your suspicions were confirmed as you heard coughing as Dongmin climbed up the side of the boat. As soon as he made it back onto the bow, he walked over to where you were laying, and sat down on the ground next to your chair, laying his head on top of your bare thigh. You patted his back as he continued coughing weakly- trying your hardest to keep from laughing at your friend.

“That was great. Ten out of ten.”

He looked back up at you, a look of pure disdain on his face. “I hate you so much.”

You giggled and ran your hands through his hair. He rolled his eyes at you as he rested his chin on your thigh, closing his eyes as you continued running your fingers through his hair, nails scratching his scalp in a soothing manner. You were worried that you were laying on the “head-over-heels in love” thing too thick, but your worries were immediately quelled as Dongmin’s mother entered the scene.

“You two are just so sweet.” She giggled as she approached you, tightly gripping her full glass of champagne.

“They’re disgusting.” Dongmin’s brother protested from his spot, finally waking up from his nap. 

“You’re just jealous.” Dongmin teased, discreetly flipping his brother off as his mother settled into her seat on the younger brother’s opposite side.

“You two have been all up in each other’s business since we landed. Is that Italian air really getting to you guys that much? My room’s right next to yours, I’m just glad you two are quiet when you bang.”

You were so sure he was onto you.

“You poor thing.” Dongmin mused as he wrapped his arms around your leg, “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

His brother simply rolled his eyes and laid back down, placing his arm back over his eyes. You turned back to Dongmin, who was already looking up at you with a lazy smile. You hated these moments. The moments that made this whole thing feel like a part of it was real. Because why were you here on a yacht in Italy with his family, with his head on your thigh, and a ring on your finger if no part of it was real?

“I’ll be right back, baby.” Dongmin whispered as he stood up. He leaned over and gently put his hand on the side of your face, giving a short, sweet kiss to your forehead before going inside.

You watched as he walked back inside, trying not to lose your mind as you heard his mother drunkenly giggling from behind you.

God, you hated this.

July 5th

It was the night before the end of your vacation in Italy, and you just couldn’t wait to go home.

Sharing a bed with Dongmin every night of the past two weeks had been nothing short of torture. It wasn’t like he’d been all up in your space, and he didn’t snore- actually, he was very quiet and very respectful of the invisible line that you’d drawn in the middle of the bed, sticking exclusively to his side, and keeping all of his clothes on- despite the fact that you knew he usually slept in just his underwear.

But you often found yourself awake into the early hours of the morning just staring at his back, trying to push the random romantic scenarios about your best friend that your brain was making up into the back of your mind. You told yourself that it was all just because of the atmosphere. I mean, what else are you supposed to think when you’re sharing a bed in a romantic villa in Italy? You were just excited to go back home and sleep in your own bed. Alone.

But here you were, sitting out on the balcony that was attached to your room, glass of red wine in hand as you listened to Dongmin ramble on about something that you couldn’t pay attention to- not while the moon was out in full and it just lit up his features so beautifully.

“You know what I’m talking about?” Dongmin turned to you, his eyes scanning over your face that was undoubtedly just staring up at him blankly.

“Not really.” You hummed taking a big sip of your wine, your eyes met his and you immediately looked away, opting to stare out into the beautiful Italian nature instead of at your beautiful best friend’s face.

“You okay?” Dongmin asked softly, nudging your arm much softer than he usually would.

You took an even bigger sip of wine. “I’ll be okay. Just ready to go home, I guess.”

“Yeah…” He sighed, his eyes still on you. “It’s getting pretty late. You ready to go to bed?”

You were going to miss him saying that.

“Yeah.”

You got ready for bed as slowly as possible, dragging the process out as long as you could. You could feel Dongmin’s eyes on you as you slowly brushed your teeth, and again as you were brushing your hair, and again as you exited the bathroom after getting into your pajamas, and again as you climbed into bed.

The two of you laid there in silence in the dark until, simultaneously, you turned to each other. As soon as your eyes met each other, you could feel your eyes welling up. You didn’t want this to be over.

“You sure you’re okay?” Dongmin whispered, shuffling a little bit closer to you. In the moonlight peeking through the curtains, you could see the worried look in his eyes. You nodded quickly, staying still as he reached out to brush your hair out of your face. His fingers lingered over your jawline, causing goosebumps to raise on your skin. “You know, I’m really glad that you were able to come on this trip. I think I’d have gone insane without you here.”

“Yeah?” You whispered back, the feeling of his fingers on your jaw causing your mind to struggle to come up with a witty reply.

“Yeah.” He breathed out, moving his hand to stroke his thumb across your cheekbone, brushing away the tear that you hadn’t realized had fallen. “You’re the best fake fiancée I’ve ever had.”

Right. Fake.

“High praise.” You joked, causing Dongmin to flash you a grin that made your heart ache. You loved his smile.

“I love you, you know? You’re my best friend.”

Friend. Friend. You needed to hammer that word into your mind.

“I love you too, Dongmin.”

He ran his thumb over your cheek one last time before leaning forward to press a kiss to the tip of your nose, bidding you a goodnight, and turning back around- leaving you laying there, staring blankly at his back

You were so screwed.

December 21st

Eleven months. Eleven. Months.

You’d been engaged to your best friend for almost an entire year.

After your trip to Lake Como, things started to become more complicated. Dongmin’s parents had started asking the two of you to set a date and start looking at venues, menus, dresses, suits, flowers, honeymoon destinations, guest lists- you name it. Your acting in Italy had apparently shown them how “in love” you were with each other, and they were eager for the two of you to finally tie the knot. You had been holding them off by telling them that you wanted to wait until the new year for all of that, but they, especially his mother, were all too ready to get involved in the wedding planning.

You’d started hating being engaged to Dongmin. Every time the two of you were alone together, it just reminded you of your last night in Italy. The way he held your face so gently, and the way he wiped away your tear was constantly on your mind.

But you doubted he even noticed the tense air whenever the two of you met up, as he had been sulking since the end of the summer over the fact that his parents still hadn’t offered him a job yet.

But today was the day of his parents Christmas party, and he was so sure that they would offer it to him tonight. You had your doubts.

The two of you were getting ready in Dongmin’s apartment as you usually did for his parents' parties. You were wearing a beautiful forest green satin dress that you'd gotten as a bridesmaid for an old friend, and the same heels that you’d worn when Dongmin had proposed to you almost a year ago. You were waiting in the foyer for Dongmin to come out of his room, tapping your foot as the seconds ticked by.

“Alright, you ready to go?” He asked in a jovial tone as he entered the room, fixing the cuffs of his suit jacket. He looked up at you in anticipation and stopped in his tracks, his hand freezing on his sleeve as his eyes wandered over your form.

You stood there silently for a good few seconds, waiting for him to say something. But he didn’t. “...Yeah?”

His eyes snapped up to your face and he slightly shook his head, dropping his hands from his sleeve. “Right! Okay, let’s go, then.”

He hurriedly turned off the lights and set the alarm before helping you with your jacket, and offering his elbow to you. You gave him a suspicious glare, but he just grinned at you, guiding you downstairs to where his driver was waiting.

|

You were drunk. But you felt the need to be even drunker. The two of you had been at the party for around an hour when Dongmin’s father tapped the side of his champagne glass and made an announcement: He was finally letting Dongmin into the company. At first, you turned to Dongmin ecstatically, pressing a firm kiss to his cheek and hugging him tightly. He’d wanted this for so long.

But then you remembered.

It was over now.

You and Dongmin had agreed in the beginning that you would be engaged only until his parents offered him a job at their company. You’d agreed to this. You knew this was coming. So why were you sitting in an empty room crying into your champagne?

You didn’t look up as you heard the door open, you were assuming that it was a drunk couple looking for some privacy until you heard a familiar voice speak up.

“Any particular reason you’re sitting alone crying into your champagne?” None other than Park Jinwoo asked as he sidled into the room, his hands tucked into the pockets of his beautifully fitting dark blue suit.

You tearfully chuckled, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “You know, I was just asking myself that question.” You looked up at Jinwoo who was leaning on his shoulder against an ornate bookshelf, looking down on you with a placid look on his face.

“Trouble in paradise?” He mused as he dragged his finger down the spine of one of the books.

You scoffed at him, leaning back in your chair as you downed the rest of your champagne in one gulp. “Something like that.”

“That’s a shame…He’s been head over heels for you since high school, so I can’t imagine what could have happened.”

Your eyes snapped up to him, he looked back down at you with a knowing smirk. “What do you mean by that, Jinwoo?”

He shrugged his shoulders casually, as if to brush off your question. “I don’t know. What do you think it means?”

“I’m so not in the mood for your bullshit.”

“Fair enough. Should probably be getting back to the party anyway.” He offered a hand to you which you rolled your eyes at before taking, allowing him to help you out of your chair. “You’d better get back to your fiance. It’s not a good idea for a pretty girl to be drunk and alone at a party.”

Jinwoo didn’t let go of your hand until the two of you were out in the hallway. He gave you a one-armed hug, smirking into your ear, “well, speak of the devil.”

You turned to see Dongmin standing at the other end of the hall, staring at the two of you, an undoubtedly shocked expression casted over his face.

“See you later.” Jinwoo turned and gave you a wave over his shoulder, leaving you standing in the hallway, swaying slightly. You shouldn’t have chugged that glass of champagne. But as soon as you started to feel a little too dizzy, Dongmin was by your side, his steady hands holding onto your waist.

You leaned into him with a deep sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck. As soon as the side of your face made contact with his chest, you felt your eyes welling up. He gently stroked the back of your head, confused at your demeanor, but wanting to offer whatever comfort he could nonetheless.

He pressed his lips to the top of your head, gently rubbing his nose into your hair. “What’s wrong, baby?”

You choked back a sob as you pressed your face into his chest even harder. “Please don’t call me that.”

His hand went still on the back of your head. “Why?”

You took a shaky breath, bringing your hands to his back, gripping into his suit jacket. “Cause it’s over now. Right?”

Dongmin stayed silent, opting to continue gently stroking your hair instead of responding, letting you cry off your makeup into his expensive suit.

“I think I should take you home.” He said to you softly, gently unwrapping your arms from around his body. You sniffled and feebly attempted to wipe away the tears from your face, not daring to look Dongmin in the eye. You nodded at the ground and allowed him to guide you to the front door and help you put on your coat. 

“Stay here for a second. I’m gonna go say goodbye to my parents.” You nodded gently, staring down at your shoes. You’ve never felt so pathetic in your life.

Dongmin returned a minute later, gently taking your hand and leading you to the car. The two of you sat in silence, Dongmin running his thumb over your knuckles, and you, staring out the window, not even bothering to wipe the tears that were running down your face.

You knew it had to come to an end eventually. You always did. But it still hurt.

The car pulled up to Dongmin’s penthouse, and you mindlessly let Dongmin lead you up to his apartment. Your brain was practically dead at that point. He could have been taking you to an old abandoned house to murder you and you wouldn’t have noticed, nor would you have particularly cared.

You let him help you take off your jacket and heels and lead you to his room. He motioned for you to sit down on his bed, which you did, flopping onto it, laying flat on your back, folding your hands over your stomach in an attempt to soothe its churning. Dongmin sighed as he watched you lay down, taking off his suit jacket, shoes, and tie, and sitting down next to you.

“Do you want the ring back?” Your voice cracked as you asked the question, your eyes threatening to shed even more tears. Dongmin sighed as he leaned back, laying down next to you.

“No. I bought it for you.”

Your lips trembled at his words, you quickly wiped away the tears that had started to spill. “I don’t want this to be over.” You finally choked out, your hand covering your mouth to stifle your sobs.

“I know.” Dongmin replied gently, reaching over to wrap his arm under you, prompting you to roll over and dig your face into his chest. “It’s okay.” He whispered as you cried into him. “You’re just drunk. You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“No, I won’t.”

“You’ll be okay.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I don’t want to lose you.”

Dongmin held you tighter at those words, his brow furrowing as you said it. “You’re not going to lose me, baby.”

“I just want to stay with you.”

“We’ll always be together.”

“It’s going to be different now.” Your tear ducts had finally run dry. You just felt defeated now. Dongmin still held you just as tight as before, one hand on your waist and the other on the back of your head.

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Yes, it does.”

This time it was Dongmin’s turn to cry. Yet, he smiled. “I love you.”

“God, don’t say that to me.” You sighed into his neck, rubbing your sore eyes as tears continued to run down Dongmin’s face.

“No, but it’s true. I love you so much.”

You pulled away, he was starting to confuse you. You propped yourself up on your elbow to get a better look at him. Your confusion grew as you saw him smiling up at you through his tears. “What are you talking about?”

Dongmin leaned up and reached for your face, holding it in the same way he had during that night in Italy, his fingers on your jawline and his thumb stroking your cheek. “I don’t want this to be over, either.”

“...Are you drunk?”

He grinned up at you and brought his other hand to your cheek, looking at you with a kind of fondness you’d never seen on his face before. “Definitely not. I just love you.”

“Dongmin, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that a few times.” You replied, sitting up fully, Dongmin following you, still holding your face. “But what do you mean?”

Dongmin gently smiled down at you, one of his hands trailing down from your face to take your left hand, gently sliding the ring off your finger. Your heart dropped as he did so, tears once more threatening to start spilling from your eyes.

“Will you marry me?”

Your breath hitched in your throat, you completely froze in place as Dongmin slid off the bed and onto the floor, kneeling in front of you, still holding your left hand in his gentle grip.

“..Huh?”

He chuckled at you fondly, his eyes filled with nothing but adoration, and love spread across his face.

“I want to marry you. For real.” His eyes and smile softened as you stared down at him in shock, “At the start of this, I really did just see this me asking you for a favor. I really thought that at the end of this, we would call off the engagement, and go about our lives as normal. I didn’t expect this to go on this long, and I never expected to realize that I was in love with my best friend, but I did. I think I realized it for the first time in Italy. I loved going to sleep next to you every night and waking up next to you every morning, I loved seeing you with my parents and my brother, I loved sitting on the balcony drinking wine with you, I just loved spending every minute of every day with you. And it made me realize that I love you. As more than a friend. And I think I always have.”

He shifted in his spot on the floor, nervously looking up at your confused stare. He really hoped he wasn’t making a mistake by telling you right now.

“It made me realize that I wished this was for real. So, do you want to make it real?”

Just as he was starting to think that he was making a massive mistake by confessing his love to his best friend, you quickly slid off the bed onto the floor, and hugged him tightly, causing him to fall backwards onto the carpet.

“God, I love you so much.” You whispered into his neck, holding him tighter than you’d ever held anyone. He was smiling so hard, he was sure his face could have gotten stuck that way. He hugged you back just as tightly before pulling back and grabbing your face, causing your eyes to meet his.

“So is that a yes?”

“Obviously. Yes!”

Dongmin grabbed your left hand, sliding the ring back onto your finger before his hands quickly went up to the sides of your face and his lips collided with yours. Your hands gripped the back of his shirt as your lips moved against his, fighting back the happy tears that welled in your eyes.

Dongmin pulled back for breath, breathing heavily as he leaned his forehead against yours. He opened his eyes and met yours, “I love you.”

“I know.”

the two of you giggled quietly before your lips met again.

December 22nd

You woke the next morning in Dongmin’s bed, your dress and his suit lay wrinkled on the floor. You groaned into the pillow and turned to your side, almost jumping as you were met with the face of your fiance sleeping soundly next to you.

You smiled softly, brushing his soft hair out of his face, admiring his features in the early morning light.

His eyes fluttered open slowly, reaching up in confusion to grab your hand that was lightly grazing his face. He smiled warmly and leaned into your hand as soon as he realized it was you. “Good morning.” He groaned, his deep morning voice causing your stomach to flutter.

“Good morning.” You replied gently, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He looked up at you softly, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand before slowly sitting up and tossing back the blankets.

“How about I make us some pancakes?” He called over his shoulder as he made his way to the bathroom.

“Sounds good.” You stretched and sat up as Dongmin turned on the shower in the other room.

“You coming?” He called out, you smiled and shimmied out from the blankets, your feet meeting the soft carpet on the floor.

“Just a second!”

You could get used to this.

[serejae]

WE’RE TALLER IN OTHER DIMENSIONS….right? | H.TS

IN WHICH…your ex comes back in town, and with that the memories come back too

GENRE…angst @onedoornet

pairing…taesan x reader

warnings, none :)

[kmigyubs]

[동민] — ₊˚⊹ ᰔ do we have a connection (anymore)?

Pairing : HAN DONGMIN [Taesan] x [F] reader

(wc. 3.0K)

Genre : angst , also includes a bit of smut so beware.

Summary : [...] got dumped by her last boyfriend. But it's okay! She has a new boyfriend, Han Dongmin, and he was amazing.. until he got a drinking addiction and cheated on her regularly. She left him, but now Dongmin just wants her back.

Warnings/contents : highschcool to college setting, reader and dongmin are exes, dongmin fucks himself because he got turned on by his ex, mentions of c0ck and etc. Non proof read and English is not my first language :))) she/her used

[...] was a senior in high school, only a few months away from graduation.

She wasn't alone, she had a boyfriend. But.. the boyfriend was actually really horrible, to her and the people around her.

He tend to talk about [...] behind her back, doing things like shaming her for her appearance, and her overwhelming personality. It kind of hurt.

Other than that, this guy would never treat her right— he was an angel when they first got together, but overtime he became more and more of an asshole. He might treat literal gorgeous strangers better than [...], his own girlfriend.

[...] was sitting by a staircase one day, and she was weeping into her knees. It was during class, but she didn't feel like going at all.

She just got dumped by her boyfriend, why? Because she didn't dress well enough for him during valentines day— oh, it was just stupid as a whole.

She didn't know why she was crying exactly, that jerk was not worth crying over at all, so why did she feel this way...?

She kept on replaying the whole scene in her mind, over and over again. Where her boyfriend had broken up with her infront of students in the hallway.. and when she asked 'why', he slapped her.

He. Slapped. Her.

It was painful.. other than that humiliating— the fucking nerve of that guy to do that. She wishes she could go back there and punch some senses into him.

But, of course she didn't. Instead, she began to weep by a staircase. She looked weak as hell.

Footsteps started approaching closer and closer to the staircase. Quickly, she wiped the tears away from her eyes, well tried to. Her eyes were red and puffy. She was ready for the newcomer to go ahead and laugh at her.

"Hello...?" The voice whispered, low yet soft.

[...] sniffled, wiping her nose with the hem of her sleeve. She turned her head away from the person— well maybe she didn't wanna be laughed at.

"Go away." [...] tried to sound intimidating, but her voice came out shaky.

"...What's wrong?" [...] heard the person ask, also hearing commotion of the person taking a seat next to her on the ground.

[...] tried to ignore them, but she really couldn't. She let out a shaky breath, glancing at the person who was now sat next to her.

.... Wow. He was.. really pretty— and handsome. Her breath went hitched, but she tried to hide it by clearing her throat.

"Uhm.. I got dumped."

The biy who sat beside her had a scrunched up nose, knitted brows as he tried to process her words.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He murmured to her, before standing up. She peeked up at him in curiosity, before she saw him extend his hand to her.

"Han Dongmin." He introduced himself, in a firm yet gentle voice.

[...] was very lost, but she took his hand and got up aswell, deciding to trust this new acquaintance and follow him to wherever he would take her.

When walking, she noticed the way he glanced at her expectantly. Her face flushed in embarrassment. "Sorry..! I'm [...]."

"I see..." The way Dongmin seemed interested in her, the way he had a grip on her hand made her feel giddy.

She might have just got dumped... but she felt as if the love she used to feel wasn't over.

But oh, how wrong she was.

———

[...] sighed in relief, entering the house right after taking her shoes off and locking the door behind her.

She glanced at the sofa, since the television was playing- and, he saw knocked out Dongmin.

[...] eyes widened, seemingly surprised to see her boyfriend there. She hadn't a him since last night,  even for the whole day she was at her classes he didn't respond back to her messages.

She approached the knocked out boy, gently shaking his shoulder to wake him up. When he didn't, she furrowed her brows and shook harder.

The boy groaned, rubbing his temples as he opened his eyes to see who had woken him up in from his slumber!— well, it was an uncomfortable nap since he felt so damn light headed but whatever.

"Dongmin-ah," [...] smiled in satisfaction to see him awake, but the smell of him was grossing her out.

"You should wash up quickly.. and then we can get into bed. We could watch some shows, maybe."

He wasn't listening to any of her suggestions of activities for the night, like at all. He was really dizzy, and.. he was feeling deprived. Not for sleep, bit deprived of having that oh-so-amazing drink.. it was alcohol.

That's what he was thinking about, but he didn't tell her of course. He knew she'd be pissed of at him. Well, understandable. But he couldn't resist his urges, okay? If he wanted something, he will get it.

He saw [...] leave the living room after finishing her one-sided conversation with him, and went to set her stuff in their shared bedroom. It was a small apartment, thus they were sharing a room.

Dongmin was not fond of the idea, obviously.. he wanted a room for himself, and his private stuff damn it.

He shuffled up from the couch, slightly tipsy and stumbling on his feet. But, he managed to get through the door and exit the apartment. Silently.

"Dongmin-ah, where are you..." [...] mumbled, to no one in particular. She probably seemed insane, calling out to a name while she was home alone.

[...] tapped on the 'call' button on her boyfriend's contact again, shifting on the bed uncomfortably. She was impatient, she had called over and over again but he just wouldn't pick up.

But, it was normal by now.

Dongmin would leave at night, and came back home by the morning, and mostly slept and repeated the routine once it reached night.

He was usually out to parties, drinking and getting flat out drunk. He did it often, and would leave her at their shared home alone.

'We're sorry, this number is not able to get to the phone rig-' she cut the voicemail off, grumbling in pure frustration.

Honestly? She thought he was the biggest asshole ever.

What was stopping her from leaving him, then?

.... She honestly doesn't know either. It might be because Dongmin was the one who saved her from her past relationship.

But was it really worth it if this relationship had the same effects as the last, if not worse?

Dunno. She had a tiny glimpse of hope she could maybe.. fix him, somehow.

God, this was really bad. But she couldn't help but still have feelings over Dongmin. Who could blame her?

[...] called his contact again, holding it to her ear as her phone rang. She expected for another voicemail again, but this time- he answered.

Just about time.

As she were about to speak, she heard a distinct noise from the other line. She scrunched her brows in confusion. Well, he was maybe at a local club again, of course it was loud... but, this noise sounded strange- she pulled the phone closer to her ear.

She listened to the other line, and her mouth agape.

She realised now.. she heard-pleasurable noises- coming from Dongmin's line.. it sounded like a girl, followed by Dongmin's grunting.

It was disgusting to listen to. It was disgusting to think about, she was trying so fucking hard to not puke.

More moans came through the speaker, with wet, squelching noises. Dongmin's name was whimpered out-

Okay, she couldn't take this anymore. She hung up the phone, dropping her phone to the bed as she held her head in her hands. Imagine picking up the phone while mid-fucking another woman..?

"The audacity.." [...] mumbled out. Her eyes began to pour tears, burying her face into her hands as she weeped. Alone.

She wanted Dongmin to comfort her...

... but he was the reason she was crying in the first place. Thr audacity of him to leave her alone every night, and fuck other girls at the parties he goes to.

She couldn't take it anymore. The man- guy she was dating was a cheater, he was the worst person she had the misfortune of meeting.

She always thought that he was the best.. but it was clear now, clear as day that she needed to break up with this demon who she used to call 'her boyfriend'.

She sniffled back her tears, wiping her damped eyes with her bare wrists. She didn't deserve to cry over him.. he didn't deserve to be cried over. He was nothing but heartless, only using people for his own pleasure.

She's decided— she was done. She was too blinded to see the way he had been treating her this whole time was not okay. Like a fucking object.

She began stuffing her clothes, and essentials in the luggages she bought when moving into the apartment, with Dongmin.

She was actually taking her sweet old time packing her shit, since she knew she wouldn't get caught anyway. Who was going to check on her, Dongmin? Obviously not...

———

It was a little over 2 in the morning, and [...] was asleep in the comfort of her own bed. The warmness under the comforter, air conditioner washing over her body as she snuggled up with her stuffed animal.

There were knocks coming from the front door of her apartment.

Her brows scrunched up involuntarily as her sleeping form heard the sudden sounds. She tried to drown out the noise and continue sleeping.

But the knocks just wouldn't stop. Infact, it sounded frantic. Like someone's in trouble.

[...] grunted in annoyance. She reluctantly pushed the comforter off of herself and got off the bed, trying her best to fluff up her messy hair as she shuffled her way down to the front door.

She grabbed the key that rested on a cabinet nearby, and unlocked the door. She opened the door slightly to get a peek of whoever decided it was a pleasant idea to show up at her doorstep at this time.

... Oh. The person who had showed up was her ex, Han. Dongmin.

[...] tried to convince herself it was her mind playing with her, or that it was just a bad nightmare. She rubbed her eyes to have it adjust to the dim lighting, and she looked at the figure again.

... Nope, still there.

[...] let out a sigh. She took notice of how he still hadn't seemed to realise she had already opened the door, seeing him continously rub his temples with an index with an expression of distress.

Oh, damsel in distress.. but is that my problem?

Yep. They seemed like totally solid people.

But- first of all, how did he find her? She moved into a new apartment two months ago, right after she dumped him. Second of all, why was he even

[...] silently, tried to close the door back again and maybe she could continue her earlier slumber. But, a hand refrained her from doing so.

"Wait... " It was the annoying ass Dongmin, of course. His voice was shaky, he was blurting out words as he tried to make her stay there.

"What?" [...] spitted out. She was really in no mood to hear Dongmin speak in his whiny ass voice. Oh, and his breath smelled like flavored alcohol. Gross.

"I.. miss you, baby.." he blurted out, and she swore she vomited in her mouth from the cringe she felt from the term of endearment. "Why did you leave me.."

What kind of question was that?

"....Because you kept on drinking, making out and hooking up with random women at the parties you'd leave me for." [...]'s response to his question had no hesitance, and it was blunt as hell.

She had opened the door fully, looking at his weary expression with her arms folded over her chest.

"I didn't mean to..." He spoke through hiccups. He felt really dizzy. But he didn't have any balls to ask her to crash at her place.

Maybe she'd let him... he was her ex, after all. (That's not how it works, though).

"Can.. I stay the night?"

[...]'s eyes widened, staring at him in disbelief. Oh the fucking audacity of this guy...

"No way." [...] furrowed her brows. Dongmin whined in response, tugging at the sleeve of her pajamas.

"Please.. please I can't..." he trailed off, gagging through his mouth. The alcohol had taken much worse effects on him than he had anticipated. He saw her roll her eyes, swatting his hand away from herself.

"No. You're actually so fucked up if you think I'd do anything for you after everything." [...] shot him one last glare, before she shut the door after she went back in, without enough time for him to protest.

Dongmin tried to bang on the door, hoping that she would comply and let him in. Let him make things right again... but, of course she lost faith in him. He was at her doorstep, after they broke up, flat out drunk.

He only against a wall, onto the floor. He put his head in his hands, as he began to weep. At his ex girlfriend's apartment complex.

God, he was so pathetic. Very pathetic.

———

The second Dongmin arrived to his own home, he was immediately knocked out on the couch. He was going to get the worst headaches of his life...

He was right. He woke up at the ass crack of 7 in the morning, and his head hurts like hell. He was trying so hard not to puke, his carpet was expensive for Pete's sake.

He walked on his limp legs, and managed to make it to his kitchen, gripping on the counter as to not fall. He grabbed a cup of water which had probably been staying for a few days on the counter, and downed it in one go.

He gulped the drink, grunting as the water had an effect on his lightweight. He was hungry as fuck... but he felt like if he consumed something, he'd immediately puke it out.

Instead, he grabbed his phone from the kitchen island and slumped himself on the comfort of the couch.

Without [...], the apartment felt more empty. [...] would always do the groceries, and in his fridge right now he had nothing except for spoiled milk.

Dongmin grumbled, and he began scrolling on his phone for entertainment, which was on Instagram.

There he goes, looking through pictures of random women on the app again.. but he didn't like, give any of the posts a like. He didn't know what possessed him..

... But thinking about [...] bejng missing made him feel some sort of regret, and resent to the people who could still see her, and talk to her while he couldn't even figure out where she lived.

Did she live with her parents? Her relatives? Maybe she lived alone now?

He didn't know, but he wanted to know, badly.

He wanted to apologise, to tell her that everything he did was fucked up and he knew it.

But his pride was bigger than the regret he felt. He didn't wanna admit it— he wanted her to come back and ask to have him back..

Wait— was he insane? Did he think [...] would still want him after all this time?

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he continued to scroll.

He suddenly stumbled across a post, with a familiar handle.

Dongmin narrowed his eyes. He clicked on the profile picture of the account to see who it was.. and of course, it was [...]'s account. His Instagram recommended him [...]'s account.

Was the algorithm playing with him? This must be a punishment? Or... [...] was just so pretty the algorithm put her on his recommendation page...

Kill yourself, Han Dongmin. He thought to himself in annoyance.

Whatever. I don't need her stupid ass anyway.

Dongmin thought as he scrolled through her Instagram. What's wrong? He was curious of what's going on in her life currently.

Dongmin went onto her most recent post, and a wave of shock strucked him. His jaw was dropped, and he felt as if his eyes would pop out from its sockets.

The post included pictures of [...] at the beach... wearing a little white bikini.

Oh, what was she doing to him...?

He knew he was being disgusting, but he let a grunt escape past his lips as he stared at the picture.

She was just so.. perfect. Why didn't he notice before? What a fucking dumbass. Biggest fool ever.

Dongmin could've been seeing this gorgeous body at nights, but instead he was out elsewhere, with another woman.

He fucked up big time, he knew that. The picture was just doing things to him. The way the bikini revealed so much of her body, and showed off her curves.

He felt jealous. Jealous that other men got to see her like this when it should be him.

Dongmin was about to groan at the sight, but he settled with another grunt. Why was he so weird..

He glanced at the door of his apartment, just to make sure that the door was really locked.

Dongmin took a breath, as he put the phone by his side on the couch, making sure that he didn't accidentally click off the image.

He placed his hand above his groin, pushing it up and down, beginning to palm himself. He let out a groan.

He was touching himself, and could just imagine that it was her, infront of him, being the one who gave him the pleasure instead of himself.

Dongmin unbuckled his belt, then unzipping the zipper of his black jeans. He stroked himself through the fabric, before pushing the jeans so it would rest below his hips.

He continued to stroke himself, only a layer of boxers separating him from actually touching himself.

His boxers were damped with pre-come. He moaned. He attempted to gain friction by rocking his hips into his fist.

He was being insanely disgusting.. but what was on the screen was once his. He missed that.

He wrapped his cock that was beneath the fabric, pumping it with his two fists. He was going pretty damn fast, because of his neediness and his eagerness.

But, it didn't feel as good as when [...] did it. He moaned so damn much whenever she played with his hard cock, he was sure the neighbours downstairs could hear them.

Dongmin was tempted to go further— but he stopped himself. Doing this was enough as it is.. he should actually only do that when he gets [...] back. If he gets [...] back.

Dongmin rolled his eyes, annoyed with himself that he had these thoughts in the first place.

He stood up from the couch, and pulled his pants back up.

Dongmin should really get his life back together if he wanted someone like [...] back in it..

Might make a continuation if I have motivation :9 also I want moots so if you want to be mootz tell me <3

[lxvsiick]

THE STARS CONTINUE TO SLEEP | HAN TAESAN X READER 

[PART 2 -- VERSION 1]

PAIRING: ex! han taesan x ex! fem! reader

SUMMARY: After running into his ex, Y/n, Taesan chases after her--but what happens after crushes his heart.

GENRE: angst, exes, imagine

WORDCOUNT: 675

A/N: I AM SORRY 🙇🏻‍♀️ i’m just here to cause pain honestly 🤷🏻‍♀️ ummm ENJOY!

ִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `

Every step felt heavy with anticipation, each breath a mix of excitement and anxiety. He didn’t know what he’d say or what he hoped to find, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a chance he couldn’t let slip by.

Finally, he spotted her again, standing on the corner, waiting for a bus. With a deep breath, he approached, trying to steady his racing heart.

“Y/n!” he called out, trying to keep his voice calm and steady.

She turned, a look of surprise crossing her face as she recognized the urgency in his voice. Her eyes widened as they met his, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. Everything around them seemed to disappear and it was only them there. Y/n’s look of surprise turns into a smile, her sparkling eyes meeting him.

“Hi.”

“How have you been?” He asks, taking a step closer. Taesan felt like he couldn’t breathe–she was really standing in front of him.

Her expression softened, and she gave him a small smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Dongmin, it’s been a while. I’m doing better now. A lot better, actually.”

He could see it. She looked different—happier, healthier. There was a spark in her eyes that hadn’t been there the last time they saw each other. It was like she’d shed the weight of the world that had once dragged her down, and it hurt him to realize how far away she felt now.

“I’m glad,” he managed to say, his voice low. “I’ve been... doing well too, I guess. Idol life has been busy.” He paused, his throat tightening. “But I’ve missed you. You’ve never really left my mind.”

For a moment, silence fell between them. Her eyes flickered with something—maybe surprise, maybe regret—but just as she opened her mouth to respond, a voice called from the distance.

“Y/n!” a guy’s voice echoed down the street.

Both of them turned to see a tall guy walking toward them, his expression calm but curious as he approached. Taesan felt his heart sink instantly, the pang of jealousy hitting him like a ton of bricks.

The guy reached Y/n's side, placing a casual hand on her lower back as he looked at Taesan. Taesan forced a smile, but his hands clenched slightly by his sides.

“Hey, sorry about that,” Y/n said, her voice a little softer now. She gestured between the two of them. “Dongmin, this is Minhyung, my... boyfriend.”

The words struck him harder than he’d imagined they would. His chest tightened painfully as he glanced at Minhyung, who gave him a polite nod, but there was an air of awkwardness between them.

Taesan swallowed, forcing himself to remain calm, even as the bitterness inside him twisted deeper. “Nice to meet you,” he said, offering a strained smile.

“Likewise,” Minhyung replied, his tone friendly but firm.

After a few more brief words of awkward small talk, Taesan realized he couldn’t stand there any longer. The pain was too raw, too real. With one last look at Y/n, he gave her a tight, bittersweet smile. “I should get going. It was nice seeing you again... really.”

Her gaze lingered on him for a moment, as if she had something more to say, but all she managed was a quiet, “You too, Dongmin.”

He nodded, unable to bear it any longer. Turning on his heel, he quickly made his way back to the cafe, his chest feeling heavier with every step. His hands trembled slightly as he pulled his mask back up over his face, trying to shield himself from the world, but the growing bitterness inside him was impossible to escape.

As he entered the cafe, the sound of his members’ laughter surrounded him, but all he could think about was the image of Y/n with her new boyfriend. Even though he had tried to move on, she had never left his heart.

And now, seeing her happy—happy without him—it hurt more than he ever thought it would.

ִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `

PART ONE | PART TWO VER.2 | MASTERLIST

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, lxvsiick, 2024

[4ranghaes]

Another song fic with Taesan?🥹

(Love ur writing btw, hope this doesn’t stress u, take ur time hehe)

song fic!💋

now playing… this is how you spell “HAHAHA, we destroyed the hopes and dreams of a generation of faux-romantics” by los campesinos!

han taesan x reader [fluff/angst, gender neutral!reader, non-idol!taesan, i’m imagining the setting as like a shitty english uni house so hope you get the vibe lol]

warnings: problematic/abusive relationship, reader is having a panic attack, reader smokes, talks of drugs

a/n - no stress at all, anon! never be afraid to request <333 also i apologise because this song is probably NOT what you had in mind but, we abide by the playlist🙇🏻‍♀️

01:09 - “i just wanted peace,” he sighed, “i just wanted to sleep.”

“i’m sorry i’m not fucking perfect, taesan,” you snapped, your breathing deep and frantic, previously cried tears staining old mascara down your face.

the party that the two of you had abandoned hours previous could still be heard going on downstairs, music and people’s voices blaring as they disturbed the neighbours. you left housemates responsible for anything that was happening now.

“that’s not what i meant,” he huffed, watching as you got out the bed, storming over to the old, rusty sink in the corner of your bedroom and splashing your face with cold water, “are you alright now, love?”

you swallowed, nodding slowly as you walked back over to the bed, taesan pressing a kiss to the side of your head as you sat beside him. you lit up a cigarette with shaking hands, he glanced up and saw the old beanie of his covering the smoke alarm.

“you know that’s not what i meant,” he sighed.

“i don’t know what you meant at all tae,” you said, leaving his body again as you walked round the messy bedroom, “what are we even doing here?! what is this?! why did i just have a nightmare about you, taesan?!”

“about me?” he exclaimed, “what was i doing?!”

you cried out, practically tearing your hair out with the harsh grip you had on it, “i don’t know! maybe it was that fucking note again.”

your boyfriend scoffed, “please don’t bring that up again, y/n. that was a drugged up mistake, you know that!”

“‘i have left you, please never try to find me’?!” you exclaimed, “do you know how fucked up that is, taesan?!”

taesan couldn’t say anything in reply as you walked out to your balcony, finishing off your cigarette with long drags. he could hear occasional sobs, but he knew it was better not to react. eventually, the cigarette became a stub as you pressed out the flame on the corner of the railing, dropping it into the bucket you kept.

walking back into the room, the party’s eyeliner and mascara was now rubbed all over your eyes, leaving big streaks of black. taesan took in your appearance, noting the goosebumps on your arm.

he opened his arms, a silent invitation as you climbed back into the bed, burying yourself in his chest. his fingers brushed gently over your goosebumped arms, feeling each one of them.

you were still crying, tears falling from your eyes while apologies fell from your lips. taesan looked around the dump of your bedroom, unfinished poetry and books laid around, in the bins and on the walls; he couldn’t help but think they were indicative of your life.

“i can read you,” he whispered.

you sniffled, chuckling, “am i that obvious?”

“no,” he whispered, serious as ever, “your arm. i can read it.”

“like braille,” you sighed, staring off into the distance, holding onto the arm that was wrapped around you tightly. taesan nodded in reply, even though you couldn’t see him.

“i know,” he said, running one finger along a line of goosebumps, “i am wrong. i am sorry.”

“i know,” you sighed, kissing his arm as you listened to the background noise of 2010s indie party music, “i am wrong, i am sorry.”

[gluion]

places we won’t walk — taesan

han taesan x reader

genre & warnings — smau, exes, angst, fluff, slight crack, an undeniable down-bad-in-the-trenches reader paired with an emotionally constipated taesan who both cannot move on, switching between past and present conversations, pov switching notes — gluion smau writer debut? (i was known to write smau on twt LMFAO) anyway, going an angst smau to keep me alive as i write zb1 tbou. as always, reblogs and feedback are appreciated!

started: november 8, 2024, updates sporadic ended: tba request to be part of the taglist! masterlist

synopsis — although you and taesan try to stay civil with each other, there’s undeniable tension between you two in every conversation. and somehow, you remember why it's not advised to date someone in the same friendgroup as you.

(or in other words, the conversations you and taesan shared since the break up.)

profiles — the three bears and the struggling artists

prologue — the night it happened chapter i — cat’s out of the bag chapter ii — curiosity didn’t give a chance to kill the cat chapter iii — a type of unknown faith chapter iv — does the bear hate the cat? chapter v — the cat still cares chapter vi —

more coming soon

networks taglist: @kflixnet @k-labels @blankjournal @onedoornet @kstrucknet

story tag list: @tkooooop @prettyange1 @zynz0 @love-4-keum @taylorluvation

@vernyangel @cherrytaesan @prettiann @kaiyunsim @wonshuasdandan

@tsanho