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crisalidaseason · 2 years ago

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Who is the monster, who is the human?

Chapter 5 - In your absence (check index for more) (check chapter 4 - Metamorfose)

Chapter summary: A year of knowing Armin and the crumbling of your walls. His temporary absence brings the feelings to the surface. Content warning: anxiety, chronic illness mentions, mentions of head injury, a little fluffly and domestic.

“Come on, stop” Armin tried to take the paper from your grasp.

You dodged him, disapproving his interruption.

“I’ll rip your fingers off, Arlert”

He stopped, raising his hands in defeat.

“Okay, okay” he said “but I speak from experience, trying to write paperwork under a lack of sleep never works”

“I’ve been doing this for ages, I know what I’m doing” you spat back, ruder than you should.

Armin did not reply, insead he sat on the ground and rested his back on your bed.

“I know, but you will not die if you take a ten minute pause” he started “that’s all I ask of you, ten minutes”

You sighed. You knew he was right, it was already past midnight, and you had not slept well the night before.

“I need to finish this report quickly, I can’t give myself ten minutes” you argued.

“Then let me help” he said “I can review it for you, check for errors or inconsistencies your tired mind won’t let you notice”

“I’m not supposed to show this to you” you turned to him, slightly smiling “it’s classified”

“So classified that you let me into your room? I could peer into your paper anytime” he smiled back.

You rolled your eyes, turning to your paper again and watching as the letters danced in front of you, illegible.

“Maybe you are right” you whispered “ten minutes won’t kill me”

You left the chair and flopped into your bed, your entire body hurt and your eyes were heavy. Armin was still on the ground, he would not usually lay on your bed, preferring the bed or ground.

“You should sleep, tomorrow is your big mission” your voice was slightly muffled by the bedsheets.

“I can’t” he said.

“You’re crossing the sea, Armin“ you said “it’s a long and tiring journey, believe me”

He already knew that. He made you talk endlessly about your journeys, even if they were not for leisure. You noticed how fascinated Armin was with the ocean in general, asking you questions about the deep sea waters where no sand could be seen. You still laugh remembering his face when you said the kraken made an appearance and the poor paradisian boy believed it wholeheartedly.

“I know, but I am so…nervous” he said “the trip is not the problem, it’s the land”

“Liberio is a beautiful place” you commented “if you don’t look attentively, of course”

Silence filled the room, you could almost hear Armin’s brain gears turning. You learned that he was an extreme overthinker, constantly worried and trying to measure and understand things fully, trying to solve problems that are not even happening. He was just as nervous as he was melancholic.

“I hate this” he whispered “sometimes all I wanted was to just disappear. I’m afraid this mission is a step bigger than the Survey Corps can afford”

You could only see the back of his head, blond short strands slightly messy, but you knew he had a frown between his eyebrows. You wanted to reach and touch his soft hair, but refrained from doing so.

“I know the feeling” you whispered back “and you’re entirely right”

Armin decided to turn, laying his arms and chin on the bed and looking at you. Even after almost a year of knowing him, his blue eyes were still intimidating. You were not uncomfortable anymore, but it still sent shivers down your spine.

“Something bad will come from this” Armin whispered “Do you feel it? With your mission, I mean”

“Yes” you said “There is no good outcome from my mission, but I am already too deep in this. I might as well-”

“You might as well continue” He completed, frown evident “You sound like someone I know”

Silence sprouted, you were not sure if that was an invitation to ask about said someone, the blond boy was just as stunted as you were with vulnerable moments. Armin closed his eyes, the slight frown insistent between his blond brows.

“Arlert” you tried.

He opened his eyes, noticing your movement. Looking into his tired eyes you decided to brush all the difficult topics off.

“Come here, the ground is cold” you said “The bed is small but we both can fit”

You secretly wanted to embarrass him, there was a strange joy in seeing him blush violently and stutter incomprehensible words.

“I-not. The ground-”

“Don’t make me pull you by your hair” you said.

He blushed even more, but shyly sat on the bed. He kept his distance, giving you space. You sighed out of frustration and pushed him down, forcing him to lay down.

“Now sleep” you said while still holding him by the shoulders “I’ll wake you up before the morning curfew”

“What about you?”

You also laid down, but your head was on the opposite end of the bed, close to Armin’s feet.

“I think there is enough space, hm?” you told him “now go to sleep, If you sleep I promise I’ll also rest”

He nodded quickly, adjusting himself to lay on his stomach. The view was quite nice, but if you commented about it Armin would surely combust.

“Good night” he whispered.

“Night, Armin”

If he was pretending to sleep, he was a good liar. He did not move, his breathing steady and soft. Unfortunately, sleep was not so gentle with you. It took a few hours until you finally dozed off into a dreamless slumber, but you must have slept for only three-four hours, waking up to the clock marking the sixth hour. Despite the slight darkness, you noticed Armin was not in the bed anymore. You imagined he must have left, a small part of you hurt that he did not wake you up to say goodbye. You decided to return to your table to tend to your report and there you found a neatly folded paper.

You were sleeping peacefully, I did not want to disturb you. Thank you for the companionship yesterday, it was better than rotting in my own quarters. I checked your classified report and marked a few things that could be troubling or inconsistent, hope it helps. I won’t say goodbye because I will return.

You smiled, nobody to witness the way you felt embraced by a few words. You were going to miss him, and also worry the entire time he would be absent.

Oh, and for the love of the walls try not to split your head open again if you feel like fainting, one time was enough!!!

You also thought so, but you also knew it was nearly impossible to escape hitting your head when you had a fainting problem. Yet, you appreciated his worry even if Armin could be insufferable sometimes, specially when he found you in the infirmary. You read the message with his soft voice, turning the paper to see his familiar signature.

See you soon, I promise. A.A

You could not see his departure, there was nothing that could justify your absence in the lab. The strange bond with Armin was still something both of you kept to yourselves. Gael would for sure disapprove and you did not want to explain yourself, specially because you were still confused with how Armin was able to slither through your hardened and numb shell of protection. He made you open a gate of feelings you were burying deep inside your soul.

“It’s not wrong to cry, you shouldn’t feel ashamed” He had said that the first time you were vulnerable in front of him, when the same nightmare haunted you.

That foreigner boy, from a country despised by most of the continent, was the one to bring a part of you that was long dead. You were not sure what caused it: the destructive nature both of you held against your choices or the shared guilt and melancholy. Either way, Armin was a part of your life that would hardly be forgotten, and you were excitedly terrified.

“Careful” Sofia said, entering the lab.

You were filling gas capsules when the girl entered the room. She was fully clothed in protective garments, ready to work with extracts.

“The capsule is crooked, the smell is going to be pungent if it leaks” she explained.

You nodded, adjusting the capsule and turning the pressurized gas on.

“Are you well?” she asked.

Sofia was not one for small conversation, that was odd.

“Good enough” you replied “why?”

“Just curious, you’re hardly distracted like this”

You were not distracted at all and, even if you were, not everyone had perfect focus.

“I spent the night writing the report” you said “slept for few hours only”

“Hum” Sofia hummed “it wasn’t the roommate keeping you awake then”

You turned off the gas supply, sending her a questioning look.

“Viktor was not there” you said.

“You know I am not talking about Viktor”

Silence filled the lab, you were not about to discuss Armin’s night visits with someone you barely talked to outside of work.

“I thought Maria would be the one fraternizing, but you? That was a surprise” she mocked.

“I am not fraternizing!” you argued.

“That boy spends the night in your room at least once a week for months now” she said “and both of you won’t shut up for hours sometimes, that is more than fraternizing”

You stared at Sofia, wondering if you could strangle her with your own mind.

“The walls are thin, unfortunately” she explains “but I don’t understand the conversation most of the time, if that’s what you’re worried about”

You ignored her. You did not have time for this, Sofia was a better companion when she was not intruding in your life. At the same time, you understood her sudden interest.

“He is trustworthy” you said after a while “I made sure of that”

“I don’t doubt it, you were always suspicious of everyone and everything” Sofia replied “and I won’t tell anyone, your life is not anyone’s matter”

The conversation did not go further, instead both of you finished the activities for the day with minimal conversation. You wondered how long Sofia knew about your night companion, and if the others also noticed. Sofia knowing made sense, her room shared a wall with yours, but the others never have any signs they noticed Armin’s presence. At that point, Armin’s visits were a part of your routine for over a year, and you did not want to stop it because your teammates knew more than they should.

“Sorry, I did not mean to fall asleep” you said while rubbing your eyes.

It was still early morning, nothing but crickets singing. Armin was sitting in your chair, only a dying candle painting his face in an orange hue. He looked even more sad under the low light.

“Do not worry, you needed it” he whispered, diverting his eyes from the book he was reading.

“How can you read in such darkness I will never know” you commented.

You took some extra candles from your bedside, lit a few and put them around him.

“Habits from cadet years” he smiled “It’s very early, you should return to sleep”

“Not necessary” you argued “I slept well enough”

“Obizu” he warned “I swear, if I see you at the infirmary for exhaustion I will personally monitor your sleep hours”

“I’d love to see you try”

As you noticed the overly empty room, you wondered if sleep would come. Sometimes, your only chance of falling asleep was Armin's voice while reading a book out loud. You tried to imagine how he was feeling inside that ship, the journey was long and the days were slow, the empty atmosphere of the ocean could send many people into nervous breakdowns and some even went mad. You did not know much about his comrades, but he mentioned the strained relationship he had with a few of them, which worried you. Was he feeling lonely? You knew him enough to understand that a lonely Armin meant drowned in melancholy.

“What are you doing to me, Arlert” you whispered.

Sleep did not come to you that night. The days turned into weeks, and the weeks built into months. You naively hoped for a letter, knowing well it would be impossible, but your mind still wanted to know about the blonde boy who occupied your thoughts. The days at the lab were exhausting, your health was oscillating and announcing a possible crisis. Adding to the stress, the local military was acting stranger than usual ever since the commander left for their mission.

“Something is wrong” you commented, watching as military people with slightly different uniforms walked around “Does the commander have a trusted person in charge?”

“I am not sure” Gael replied “they don’t tell me much about their dynamic here, but I know there are conflicts within the divisions”

“Do you think…” you hesitated “that some of them might be working against their own country? maybe cooperating with the enemy?”

“It is possible” Gael had a sinister expression of dread “but I was not able to speak to Zeke once even after a year in this place, and I am afraid we were left in the dark”

It was indeed strange. Zeke was the one to make this entire traitorous research expedition possible and yet he never spoke directly to any of your team. Onyankopon was the only one to give some information and you had the impression that even the foreigner man was not aware of all the details.

“The commander and the veterans” Sofia entered the physics lab “they’ve returned”

Armin was back.

“Did they request our presence?” you tried to sound casual.

“Not really, I just thought you would like to know” she said referring to everyone, but sending you a knowing look.

You wanted to run and find Armin, he had been gone for about four months, but waited patiently for him to seek you. Returning to the chemistry lab was difficult, focus was not something possible and yet there were many solutions to prepare. Sofia seemed to understand your uneasiness, assisting you and checking for any possible mistakes. You hoped to find the boy during dinnertime, but him and even his comrades were nowhere to be seen. After bathing for the night and barely having the strength to dress yourself, the short walk back to your quarters was silent, apparently ordinary if it was not for your troubled mind. You were unwell, the fatigue was growing more difficult to ignore, the emotional changes also added a mental strain. Your knees and shoulders felt heavy, all you wanted was to just waste away in bed, which you did.

A soft noise in the wood startled you.

“Sofia?” you said, hoping it was someone else.

“Not really” the familiar voice said, which would have made you jump from the bed if you were not so tired.

“The door is open” you announced while covering your shivering legs with the sheets.

The blond hair was the first thing you saw, the length the first difference you noticed, slightly longer to the point it covered his ears and brows more than usual.

“Hello” he said, still standing by your door.

You were not able to answer at first, still staring at him as if he was an apparition. He was wearing night clothes in a dark shade of brown, apart from the hair he had not changed much.

“Obizu?”

“Come closer” you snapped out of your trance “my legs are not working”

He walked towards your bed, unsure of what to do or say. You reached for his sleeve and pulled him with your remaining strength into your bed. The embrace was strange, not well aligned and completely out of the ordinary for both of you, and yet it lasted for longer than you ever allowed yourself to handle.

“Fuck you” you whispered once you broke the contact.

“Uh-” Armin was confused again “what was that for?”

He was sitting in your bed, still softly grasping on your forearms.

“You did this” you huffed “making me question my entire self”

“I’m sorry?”

You sighed. He was beautifully inconvenient.

“You should be, Arlert. You do all those things to me and I expect myself to just continue being who I am”

“Sorry-”

“Shut up” you said, holding his face between your palms “Do not stop. Ever”

“Obizu-”

In a complete and utter insanity of your mind, you shook your head no, whispering a name given to you long ago. Armin’s face was still terribly confused, trying to understand your behavior, but soon the comprehension settled.

“Is it your real name?” he asked.

You whispered it again, as if reminding yourself of the sound the syllables made. His blue eyes, always so dull and still just as faded as ever stared back into your own eyes. He whispered your name back, searching for your approval, his smile was small but genuine.

“It fits you” he said

You were still holding his face, and he did nothing to leave your embrace, instead he snuggled into your hands and sighed. Time seemed to have stopped, both of you stuck in that position and basking in each other’s presence.

“Did you miss me that much?” Armin jested.

His thumb softly grazed the skin of your wrists, mindlessly returning the physical affection.

“I did” you confessed “quite strongly”

You looked down, the warmth in your face betraying your embarrassment.

“So did I” Armin whispered, you imagined his cheeks were rose colored that moment.

Slowly, both of your foreheads touched shyly, you felt as if you needed to cry for some strange reason, but stopped yourself from spilling the tears. Forehead still touching, Armin took a deep breath of relief, and so did you.

“Mind if I sleep for a while?” he said “I’m exhausted”

You smiled, nodding and lifting your sheets for him to slip under. Armin was cold to the touch when he finally settled beside you. He was facing you, a few centimeters between your bodies. Slowly, each of your hands started closing the gap until fingers touched.

“Rest” you said “we have many things to discuss tomorrow”

“We sure have” he whispered.

For the first night in four months, you and Armin had a peaceful night of sleep. The slumber lacing your limbs together in search of warmth.

#doneee #last chapter that was #but extra content might come #armin arlert #armin fanfic #armin x you #armin x reader

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tsuutarr · 6 months ago

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Concept: Yandere!Alice in Wonderland Characters (but it's only the White Rabbit for this piece) x Reader

“Wake up! Please, wake up!”

At the desperate call of the static-laden voice, your eyes groggily open. Your head hurts, thrumming with heavy noise. The artificial lights are too bright and yellow, staining your vision like aged-paper. It makes your headache worse.

“Oh no, are you ill?” a voice teeters. Face scrunched, you look up to see a screen hanging over you. A small image of a pixelated white rabbit flickers on and off. “Oh no, oh no… we’re so behind schedule…”

“What…” you being, head swirling. You don’t understand where you are or what’s happening. You don’t even really remember anything, for that matter. It makes you feel sick.

“Ah, I’m really sorry,” the pixelated rabbit apologizes, looking quite guilty. “Yes, yes, it’s quite a lot to take in…”

Before you know it, the screen the pixelated rabbit is on moves closer to you. The blue light is bright, making you squint.

“Hello, [Alice],” it greets you softly. “My name is WH173-R48817, though most call me White Rabbit or White.”

“My name isn’t [Alice].” You’re not sure where that statement came from, but it feels wrong to be referred to as [Alice].

“Ah… Ah, yes, certainly,” White’s voice murmurs.“Apologies. What would you like to be called?”

You tell White a name – you’re not entirely sure where that name came from, but it feels right.

“Understood. I will refer to you as such.” With a comforting smile, White continues. “Now, as I was saying… I am the White Rabbit System, an AI system that helps manage things in this lab.”

“A lab?”

“Yes,” White responds. “We are currently in a laboratory.”

Your eyes flicker around the room and it’s quite obvious now that you are, in fact, in a lab-like place. You’re comfortably resting on a surgery bed as jars of… body parts line the shelves around you.

“You are a part of the Wonderland Project as the most successful participant. Now that you’ve regained consciousness, we must exit the starting point.”

You stare at White blankly, its words doing very little to reveal anything substantial to you. However, White is far too frazzled to properly listen to you, going on its own little tangent. You didn’t think an AI could be so… anxious.

“We’re already quite late!” it frets while you eye it. The screen White is on is embedded into some device on the wall. You doubt the device will be able to move outside of the room.

“How are you going to exit this place?” you ask.

“Ah, look at me, being a klutz,” it sighs, somehow looking bashful despite being an AI. “A moment, please.” And just like that, the screen it was displayed on flickers off, the blue light fading away. Momentarily, you’re stunned, until you hear the soft footfalls approaching you. You turn your head to see a tall man with bunny ears.

“Greetings,” he says. His voice sounds like White’s, though a little deeper and more human. “I wondered which form would be the most efficient, and decided that this one would work best.”

“What.”

He continues walking closer to you as he talks. “I have a few bodies that I can connect my programming to. This is one of them.” When he finally reaches you, you can see how tall he is. He’s rather lanky and thin, but his height is enough to be intimidating. “Pardon me. I’m not that fond of touching others myself, but I have no choice,” he mutters, before reaching for you and cradling you in his arms faster than you can process what’s going on. “Hold on to me. We are quite behind schedule.”

“Behind schedule? For what?”

“The continuation of the Wonderland Project, of course.”

“And why exactly do I have to be a part of this project?”

White peers down at you curiously. “Well, isn’t it obvious?” he asks. “Because you’re the most important key, of course. We need you.”

With that, he leaves the room with you in his arms.

#yandere oc #male yandere #yandere x reader #tsuuper ocs #yandere x you #tw yandere #male yandere oc x reader #male yandere oc #2024 yan/monstertober tsuutarr #White Rabbit Tsuu OC #Yandere Alice in Wonderland #Alice Atelier Tsuuries #So basically you're stuck in a lab with a bunch of other monster people!#And these monster people are all based off of Alice in Wonderland Characters #I most likely will not keep this intro -- it was just a little test piece~#btw Tsuuries = Tsuu + series if that wasn't clear lol #FINALLY DONEEE!!!!#I'll make a master list tomorrow im tired today lol

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