#don't worry i'm not upset you asked or anything in fact im very happy to have mutuals who are interested in things i make

[shoechoe]

(Referring to that last post)

Apologies, but I don't usually share my OCs with people because they're either 1. only really sensical as part of a larger story that also exists in my head that isn't really finished enough to share, 2. Mostly like, self inserts I make of myself that reflect personal traits of mine lol... or 3. Basically bare concepts that aren't developed enough to share as a character

Sorry if that last reblog got some people curious it was just supposed to be a "haha me lol" one off thing

[syoounn]

Hello i love your work!

I was wondering if you could possibly write in a short fic style maybe Chuuya, Kunikida, and Akutagawa with a reader that has trichotillomania? Specifically the reader that pulls out their lashes and brows?

Im pretty insecure about that and i would love to read something like that :) would very much appreciate it if you wrote something like that :)

•Reader with a Trichotillomania.

•Characters: Chuuya, Akutagawa, Kunikida

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Chuuya

After Chuuya got home.. he was ready to see you and cuddle with you. Seeing you doing it again, Chuuya shifted a bit in bed before laying next to you and placing you in his arms. With his hands, he began playing with your hair, seemingly trying to get your attention. “Hey, look at me.” He gave you a gentle squeeze, looking directly into your eyes. He wanted to comfort you and make you feel loved, especially looking at your beautiful eyes. “I love you. It may not be in my nature to think about other people’s feelings, but that’s the truth. You’re the only person I think about. You keep me grounded.” His voice became more gentle as he spoke. He was well aware of your insecurities, but he believed you always had it in you to overcome these obstacles. Of course, his words were never enough. He had some idea of how to really relieve you of your problems, but he’d only be able to share it with you when you were ready to let him. “My precious little Doll…” He mumbled affectionately, stroking back your hair and bringing his lips down to your forehead. Chuuya, comfort you when you lose control of yourself, not judging you for your faults. Instead he’d pull you closer to him, wrapping his arms around your waist, holding you tightly against himself. He continued to speak and comforting you “It’s okay, darling… I know you can’t control it, and I do think it’s very unfortunate, but I’m not going to hate you for it. I hate the fact that you hurt yourself and have a negative mindset about yourself… You don’t need to apologize for something about yourself you can’t control.�� You then relaxed to his words and hugged him as both of you embraced both your warmth tonight.

Akutagawa

Both of you were watching TV in the living room he noticed you weren't really paying attention to the TV. He let out a quick sigh and gently grabbed your hands to stop you doing it. "Are you okay?..." he asked as he tried to be gentle as he could be.. he wanted to comfort you even though sometimes he struggled to give comfort. "I'm alright.." You said, not wanting him to worry. Therefore, that didn't stop. He clearly can see that you were not, as he sighs and wrapped his arms around you, giving you some comfort since he's Akutagawa is not that the best on words. He was slightly upset that you were not being truthful to him. "I'm not stupid, I know that you're not fine, and I don't like when you lie to me." "I'm sorry.." You replied. Akutagawa sighed as he kept looking at you. The anger he had felt was disappearing. His grip on you grew a bit more gentle. "I'm also sorry, I didn't mean to sound aggressive, I just really want you to be honest with me." He said, his tone and expression was softer and seemed to have more care in his words. Akutagawa stayed in silence for a moment. He knew this was a really sensitive subject for you. He wasn't going to push you to explain much about it, but he was still concerned. "Is there anything I can do to help you?" He asked in a soft voice, making sure not to sound judgmental or critical. Feeling the way he cares for you and wanting to do something for you makes you feel appreciated and went completely calm. As you hugged him back and relaxed to his embrace, smiling. "I'm fine now.." You said softy. Akutagawa smiled slightly at the reply. He liked that you hugged him back. It had made him feel happy. He squeezed you in another hug and looking at your eyes as he was looking at the most beautiful thing he ever seen, not wanting to let you go. "Okay then, we should just enjoy the movie now." He said, still hugging you as tight as he could. Both of you enjoyed your time as it makes you forget all of your problems just because you're with him.

Kunikida

Kunikida came home, usually having a grumpy face, seeing you changed into a small smile without hesitation.. he approached you. "Your symptoms are acting up again, aren't you.." Kunikida said with a worried look on his face. Kunikida looked very worried about you as he reached out and took your hands. He looked directly at your eyes "Look, I know this is extremely difficult for you." He paused and cleared his throat You have to be strong. I know you can overcome this. I'm with you, always, and I'll always love you no matter what. Kunikida said, his voice soft and reassuring. He then gestures you to sit back and get your medication and some tea to make you feel better. He writes down and does his best to support you... always reminding you things and always reassuring you. Even though sometimes he can be straightforward, deep down, you know he truly only wants you to live comfortably. He turned around and headed toward the kitchen. His footsteps were heavy and firm. After a few minutes, he returned and handed you the tea. "Here, drink this. It should relax your nerves and calm you down. That should help." He smiled as he saw you become more relaxed. He watched you take a few more sips of the tea before he spoke "That's good. It'll help.. and you should not forget to take your medication Y/N.." Kunikida said as he walked over and sat on the side of the bed as you lay down. He moved so he could cradle you with your head resting against his shoulder. He looks at your sleepy eyes.. as he always adores, he can't help but smile, and he always admires your beauty by looking at your eyes softly.

Your hair felt soft and pleasant against his skin. He caressed your hair gently. And now.. you were relaxed and peacefully sleeping. Knowing he's beside you makes you feel more calm and loved. Kunikida is such a strict but lovable caring lover.

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(I hope you like it! I love your drawings, btw :3)

[lostinvasileios]

im very sorry for asking this and please ignore it if its too much but,

have you.... ever been... su1c1d4l during your journey? did it... i dont know, ever make your deities feel... disrespected? like, you cant stop feeling so depressed and hopless and it just sort of hurts them? something like that? im sorry i dont know how to phrase it

thank you for reading this im so sorry if it triggered you or anything

Greetings, sweetbee. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, please, don't feel worried about reaching out to someone about this. I'm happy to help. 🩷🩷

Okay, so... Baby bee, it doesn't hurt deities when you feel depressed. When you battle suicidal thoughts. Or anything else that falls under those categories. Self harm, abusive environments, ect. They don't expect you to live for them, they don't expect you to suddenly become happy and for your mental illnesses &/or struggles to just pop out of existence because you're now worshiping or practicing.

Because they understand it.

I believe gods were once human a few times. I believe that gods understand the conditions, the harm, the - well - everything. They aren't going to approach your vulnerability with demands.

Now... I did struggle with it. I still do from time to time. I dealt with suicidal thoughts and depression since I was in the 2nd grade. And, in no way did it ever... Harmfully impact my relationship with my deities. My self harming never made them disgusted, they never judged me for the ways I'd cope, for the triggers I had, for the needs they met during my toughest times.

Yes, you can live for a deity or deities. I actually do it. It saved my life. But it's optional. And they won't feel - betrayed, or something like that because you cannot say with certainty you'll live for them. That you'll survive for them.

I didn't have a reason to keep living, I didn't see one. And that's why my deities became it. That's why we swore it to one another. Not out of obligation, not out of fear of them being hurt from otherwise.

In my experience, the only hurt I've seen from my deities regarding my mental issues and ect, was - well - the pain it caused me. It pained them to see me in pain. But it didn't make them want to leave me, it didn't make them irritated or feel disrespected because I cried in their presence. They didn't feel disrespected when I had so many fears and doubts that I for a long time couldn't even believe they were really... Real.

Deities know the difference from fear, from sorrow and pain speech, to disrespect and blatant hateful speech. They know your intentions, even if you yourself do not.

It can hurt your deities when they witness their beloved going through such a hard time. When they see them going through abuse, torment, and inflicting that pain on themselves, or seeing it as they deserved it/ect.

Deities want you to live a life that makes you happy, that's - healthy and loving for you. For your soul. They don't want to see their loved devotee/practitioner off themselves, to cut or starve themselves, to punish themselves for what other people did to them or what they feel is deserving of doing so. If that makes sense. They want to help. To be there. To try and let you see that you are lovable, that there is a life out there for you, that - you're worth it.

Apollon witnessed my depression firsthand when I started practicing. He didn't scowl at me when I was crying my heart out. Snotting and gasping, just - being a very big mess in front of him. He didn't see me as weak or as disrespectful. In fact, I've found out that deities - enjoy it. Well, not seeing you so upset, of course. But they enjoy that you trust them enough to do that with them.

To let yourself be so - raw. To feel these deep, stabbing emotions around them. From what I've experienced, they love being able to comfort their sweet ones. They love being able to tenderly hold them and shower them in kisses &/or kind words. To - reassure them.

Apollon listened to my vents night after night, he held my hands and let me know I was heard. I was - seen. I was loved.

Despite how much I feared love, despite how much I thought nobody would ever be able to understand, my deities showed me just that. Understanding, love, care, gentleness, and everything else I thought I never deserved. Especially not from beings so beautiful and perfect in my eyes.

You don't need to be scared to show your emotions around your deities. To show them your wounds. To - show them your pain. Just as, you don't need to be afraid to show them your happiness. Your interests. Your safe spaces.

Your deities want to be there for you, I promise. 🌼

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - March 26

24 anon, shy anon, 20 times anon (new), he/him anon (new), repeat anon (new)

24 anon

hi, cas. 24 anon again (im here so often eventually ill have to be 25 anon im so sorry for basically living here you're just the only person who knows the situation unfiltered that isnt my therapist rn). ive been sort of ghosting p a little bit (a lot a bit) the past couple weeks, i haven't reached out except once and have only answered her if she's texted me something that wasnt a tiktok link. it took about 3 weeks for her to say anything about it but when she did she asked if she'd done anything wrong and i didnt really answer the question? i just kind of told her i was going through it rn and left it alone and now were not talking again. my therapist more or less gave me his approval of that so ive been just been gently leaving the ball completely in her court now. it just feels so harsh to do without explaining why im avoiding her out of nowhere (even if its not out of nowhere and i have explained). im kind of worried about if she does come to me, especially if it's to ask me again if she did anything wrong because i have no idea how to answer that without hurting somebody's feelings. its not like she necessarily did anything wrong, but everything she's not doing makes me feel just as wronged by her. ive neen trying to articulate those feelings to her for years and she hasn't ever understood and i dont know how to make her now. i dont want to avoid the conversation if it comes up but. how do you tell someone they've hurt your feelings so fundamentally without even realizing that you feel like you have permanent brain damage without sounding accusing or like a total asshole? or am i being ridiculous for being so hung up over preserving her feelings right now? i just feel bad because i know in her head she's not doing anything wrong

Hi!

Please don't be sorry!

Honestly I think there's a happy medium between telling someone they're an awful human and not saying anything at all. If she asks, you can and SHOULD be honest, but don't be cruel. Say "You've hurt me. Here's how." That's not cruel, and you're not intentionally hurting her feelings this way. Just don't devolve into being like "You're a shitty, awful bitch." State the facts. State your feelings. You have a right to do so, and if she asked then like...she asked. You can't put other people's feelings before your own forever. And if she gets upset...I mean, it's not like you're doing this to purposely hurt her. You're sharing your feelings, and sometimes feelings upset people. That's okay. It's a part of life. Just be fair about it.

I'm sending you luck!

_________

Shy anon

Hi cas!

How're you doing? ( PLEASE ANSWER)

Just a little update, I've done some research and I've realized I am on the ace spectrum so I've settled on the label of asexual.

It felt really nice to have a word to describe how I feel and your the first person I told this to so I just want you to know I do appreciate you and I'm thankful for you and how you made your blog a safe place ❤️

XOXO

shy anon

Hi! I'm so honored that I'm the first person you told, and I'm so glad that you feel happy with what you've decided. Congratulations <3

I'm...okay. I'm a bit stressed right now with life in general, but I'm doing okay overall.

____

20 times anon

hi cas, i just needed to vent.

so, my friend called me tonight over 20 times. she also texted me over and over asking to come to my house and stay the night. it made me very uncomfortable. she also told me she was drunk, which made me even more uncomfortable. (she is not of legal age, so thats why it bothers me so much.) it’s also very late. and, i share a room with my younger sister. i think it’s absolutely insane that she believes it’s ok to come to my house while shes drunk and be around my family, around my little sister. she also thinks it’s ok to come to my house and vape in my room, which i have explicitly told her not to do, as it makes me uncomfortable as well. i just don’t know what to do anymore. i still care about her because we’ve been friends so long, but she is just not a very good friend these days. i would appreciate any advice. its rather urgent.

Hi <3

Even if what your friend is doing was legal, it's not okay for her to break your boundaries like this. It's not respectful and it's not being a good friend.

I think first, you need to reinforce your boundaries more clearly. If she isn't following the rules you set at your house, don't have her over. If she keeps calling you and you don't want her to, don't pick up.

But also, her behavior sounds a bit unsafe, especially the underage drinking. Do any adults know about this? Like, depending on your age and how she's getting from place to place, this could be super dangerous. If she's not being safe (drunk driving, out with much older people, drinking alcohol from people she doesn't know, getting drunk with people she doesn't know) you might want to consider letting an adult who can help her know, even if you do it anonymously. I know kids drink when they're underage (not saying you should-please don't break the law!) but there's a difference between drinking with friends and hanging out in a basement and going out to a college party or something...if she's making unsafe decisions, that's concerning.

___________

he/him anon

i think i might be genderfluid? i always feel ok with he/him and they/them pronouns but sometimes im ok with using she/her pronouns? i do/want to more dress androgenessly but i also want to dress more masc and more fem, depending on the day

the presenting and finding a label doesn’t really bother me, but i don’t know my pronouns anymore. i’ve gone by he/him for a bit, and i (afab) have come out to a lot of people about being a trans guy and i don’t want it to feel like im detransitioning because i do very much like he/him still

also my chosen name is very masculine and there aren’t really any feminine versions of that, but the name still feels like it fits me, but sometimes less so?

i don’t really know but i don’t want to come out to anyone again until im sure because i don’t want to cause any confusion

sorry if this is confusing i am also very confused and i don’t really know what to do

Hi!

So first of all, remember that presentation and pronouns don't equal gender. You can be a trans man and use he/they or he/they/she pronouns. You can be a trans man and dress fem sometimes.

ALSO you can come out as many times as you want. Fuck other people's confusion. It's okay to find yourself and find yourself again. Focus on you <3

But anyway.

I think you should play with it. Like, find a friend or two that's super supportive and nonjudgemental and ask them to use some different pronouns with you/use different names for you/dress in different ways around them. See how it feels. It's okay to try different things until something feels good. and it's OKAY to not know and be confused. it's okay to change your pronouns, labels, how you dress.... anyone who makes a big deal out of it is annoying.

Please don't be hard on yourself...try things out and see what feels good. It's okay to giv yourself that time <3

_________

repeat anon

Hi, ik you aren't a professional, but can you give me things to repeat when im really stressed or on the verge of a panic attack? I find your demeanor very soothing and reassuring. Thanks!

Okay so I don't do this because I just tend to write when I'm stressed but I googled it and picked my favs!

I do enough, I have enough, I am enough.

I am me, and that’s enough for today.

I am not in control of anything or anyone, only myself.

Where I am is where I am meant to be.

The past holds no power over me.

I am in charge of how I feel and today I choose happiness.

Anxiety is a liar.

Fear is not dangerous.

This is temporary.

I will learn from this.

[lucycore]

Hello again haha

As you can tell by now I LOVE your work. And I saw you wanted some ideas.

ANYWAY!

I've got a Peter Criss fan fic (🌶🔥 of course) idea for ya!

I've heard from Paul and Gene that Peter threw his drumsticks on them (live on stage) when he got upset.

So... What if that drumstic hits you (reader). After the show and he walks towards "you" after the show to ask if you're alright, and yeah... You'll do the rest😏

Heyy I really enjoy that idea. Hope u like it and thx a lot ♡

Peter criss imagine

Pov: Peter accidentally hurts u with his drumstick.

—

It's 1979 and u finally could go on a Kiss concert. U were very excited to see the boys but deep down in ur heart u were more excited about seeing ur favorite catman with his cute cat make up. Peter criss.

U decided to be the most beautiful girl on the concert and even made sure to get in the very first row, right next to the stage. Ur heart was beating like crazy knowing u will see soon ur favorite boys..Or should I say boy? ;) (sorry).

After waiting for way too long finally, the lights changed and u heard loud screams and cheering all around u..The boys finally came on stage. Ur eyes immediately turned themselves to see Peter with his cute face paint, smiling at the fans that were freaking out. U couldn't stop smiling seeing him all happy and cute..He made u blush like crazy.

They started playing and u couldn't help but just cry out. U waited for way too long and now finally u could see them life..It felt like a dream.

As u were singing along all dreamed up and not aware of anything as if u left earth, u got woken up by a bang to ur head and slight pain that followed right after.

"What the heck? What was that?" It shocked u. "Felt like I got hit by something."

U looked around if someone hit u by accident but that wasn't the case. Everyone was concentrated on the guys playing. U looked down on the floor and saw a drumstick.

"Wait?..Is that...Is that Peters drumstick?" U had a lot of feelings go through u at that moment when u realized that u got hit by his drumstick.

In fact, peter was known to throw his sticks around and people did see it but when they couldn't catch it they just kinda left it there thinking someone else did catch it also Peter was known for getting upset and not throwing it directly at the fans but rather at Paul and Gene. Well this time it hit u.

U couldn't really process what was happening. Is it real life or am I actually dreaming? I got to see peter live and now even found his drumstick? Wtf is going on?

U could stop smiling, everything was perfect. The last great thing that could happen would be him calling u backstage but that's impossible so u quickly got it out of ur mind.

After the show was done all the fans started going out or backstage when they had a vip ticket. U sadly didn't so with the pain in ur heart and Peters drumstick close to ur heart u started making ur way out. Surprisingly u heard a voice behind u saying "hey" so u turned around curious who would it be. "Now I'm really getting nuts." U thought.

U couldn't believe ur eyes. It was peter..Fucking Peter criss standing in front of u with a soft almost nervous smile. U started shaking, ur heart beating higher and ur face getting pale.

"Im sorry for hurting u with my drumstick..I should be more careful and maybe not throw too hard objects..."

U just stared at him with a shocked face not quite ready to process what was going on.

"Hope ur ok?..." He added.

"Y-Yeah sure..Don't worry about it..Didn't even hurt that bad.." U smiled nervously.

He smiled back and nodded softly.

"So...Can I do something for u?.." He asked.

"F-For me? U stuttered. "N-No..I mean I'm okay and it's already a blessing getting hit by ur drumstick and then having u talk to me..What more could I wish for?" U said happily what made him laugh a little shyly as he looked down.

"Well are u sure? How about I take u backstage..We could talk more and better..It's quite chaotic here."

U thought u will pass out..Usually these things only happen in ur imagination but this time it's fucking real. U of course nodded and went with him. U guys went into his room and u just had to look around..It was stunning to see his room that he had while being on tour.

*Time skip*

After talking for some time u got more comfortable with him and he with u. U saw noticed his looks on ur body, literally striping u down with his eyes. U did look sexy that evening and got some guys to look at u but tonight it seems like ur only his..And by his I mean Peter.

"Yk it was nice meeting a chill girl like u..and again sorry for hurting u..I didn't mean to throw it that far."

U again told him that it was alright. He suddenly moved closer to u and ur heart again started beating faster.

"I know how I can make this up.." He whispered softly what made u blush like crazy.

"R-Really? How?" Ur face got read and the look in ur face was just shocked and nervous.

Peter smirked and as u were trying to realize what was happening, u were laying there, legs spread wide apart and Peters head between them.

Ur hand were grabbing onto the bed sheets as Peters tongue entered ur opening. U had ur head thrown back feeling his tongue penetrating u.

U let out not too loud but high moans while feeling all dizzy from the pleasure. U never had ur pussy licked before and for the very first time of yours it felt like heaven.

U didn't know what to do with ur head and the bed sheets weren't enough to grab so u just went for his hair and pulled him even closer, making his face almost disappear in ur private parts. His hands were stroking ur thighs and grabbing onto them. Ur eyes rolled back as u felt close to cumming.

U started cursing and his fingers thrusted in u as he felt u getting closer. His tongue was eating ur clit, hitting ur g spot.

Ur moans got louder and ur legs started closing but he forcefully kept them open. Ur back arched and ur body lifted itself while u were cumming all over his face and fingers. U literally squirted his fingers out of ur opening. That's how well he made u cum. He had a lot of experience and good for u..Ur first time having Oral was like an complete dream..People wouldn't believe if u would tell them.

He left u hardly breathing on the bed. U closed ur eyes cuz u needed a second while he was watching u and smirking. U told him that it was ur first time and he got excited about it and also got a little ego booster hearing how good he was.

Now u didn't have any condoms like him but u still wanted to repay him so without saying anything u sat up and made him lay down. U never sucked dick before but u didn't care about that, u just wanted to satisfy ur king so u just started stroking it and slowly licking and kissing his tip. Peter let out a little groan and closed his eyes, having one arm behind his head.

When u noticed that u were doing the right thing u decided to take him deeper inside but got stopped by ur gag reflex. U sucked on it for a bit to get ur throat used to that feeling so it allowed u to take him deeper and let him feel the heaven u felt a few mins ago. His groans got louder and ur sucking deeper and faster.

With ur free hand u squeezed his big balls for extra pleasure and with the other one u were stroking his cock while sucking.

He groaned and was keep telling u how good ur doing and how much he enjoys it.

This made u even weaker for him and letting him fuck ur throat was like a reward.

While he was closer to his climax, he grabbed the back of your head and pushed u deeper in. Ur gag reflex returned but u didn't care less. Ur only goal was to satisfy him and nothing more. He was thrusting faster and faster making ur eyes clench till he finally released in ur mouth.

His warm load was dripping down ur throat and his cock twitching on ur tongue. After he took it out of ur mouth u swallowed what was left of his load in ur mouth mixed with ur saliva.

He fell back on the bed all exhausted and heavily breathing while u laid ur head on his chest.

"That was amazing y/n" He mumbled.

"It was" U had ur eyes closed and breathed out deeply.

"I won't let u go..U will have to stay here till morning..U were so amazing and so beautiful..I need u right now to calm down and spend time with someone who's not like those groupie whores."

His words made u feel so special and u just still kinda couldn't believe that it's true..Usually at that point u would wake up and hate that u did but this time it was completely real. U were laying in ur favorite Rockstars arms and u were more than happy, hoping this never ends...

—

Excuse any typos. It's currently 1am I'm tired goodnight.

[wyfy-meltdown]

uhm i have a question if you dont mind-!!

i was uhm wondering how you found out you were transmasc? like what made you realise..? also what you did after accepting it?? like how did you move forward, who did you tell, etc.

PLEASE dont answer if this makes you uncomfortable in any way AND IM RLLY SORRY FOR ASKING IM JSUT GENUINELY WONDERING and uhm maybe want advice-

No worries at all, I'd be happy to help!!!

For me it was a very slow process that involved a lot of subtle things that I only noticed in hindsight: well before I realized I was trans, I would go out of my way to appear more masculine (cut my hair short, wear "boy clothes", rough house and physically friendly fight with male friends), and regularly got upset over things that were minor and I didn't even understand why I got upset (having to wear dresses for family photos, getting in trouble when I friendly fought my male friends even though they could do that with no issue, being told my behavior wasn't proper for a young lady, ect).

When I ACTUALLY realized it was when I had trans and other queer friends who realized it before I did! I had a transgirl friend, "L", who would regularly show me trans memes and talk to me about trans important media (Celeste, The Town Inside Me) and generally gave me support I didn't even know I wanted.

I was an egg for a while because I couldn't believe that being trans was something possible for me. But once I did realize that I could and did in fact have these feelings, things started to make sense for me. I moved forward very slowly and mostly came out to my teachers and my friends in the QSA before properly talking about it with my mom.

I started going to endocrinology appointments around two or so years ago, and wearing a binder a year and a half ago. Yesterday I got a prescription for hormone blocker injections which I'd start sometime soon!!!

There's no need to be sorry about asking and I don't feel uncomfortable!!! I'm more than happy to answer any questions you have about this and to give you advice if you'd like it!!!

My advice is to take it slowly and really consider your gender and how you interact with it: try to see if there's anything in your past that would resemble signs. There's no time limit and no correct way to find out or come out!

[roanniom]

https://www.tumblr.com/roanniom/762936512781385728/goodness-gracious-im-in-love-yall?source=share

Hi Issa, I'm super happy for you! being in love sounds so nice and I'm genuinely jealous of you. I started following you during the time you were still single and I related to so many of the things you used to post about on the topic. It's so nice to see you find happiness and enjoy yourself to the point that you're willing to share it through your writing. I really hope I'll get as lucky as you and find someone too. The thing is that I have this unshakeable feeling that I never will. It makes me so sad and I sometimes consider giving up. I'm nearly 30 and feel terribly lonely. Listening to my friends talking about their relationships kind of feels like knives sinking into my skin. If you have ever felt the same way or struggled with being single and wanting to find someone, was there anything that helped you to remain hopeful and think positively?

Of course please skip this ask if you don't feel like answering. I hope I didn't cross any lines. That wasn't my intention. I just wanted to ask because these things have been on my mind for a long time now and I would love to hear your thoughts especially if it can help me to shed some of the sadness I've been dealing with.

Hi lovely. No lines were crossed here at all, don’t worry. Thank you very much for your kind words. I’m very conscious that, having been posting on here for almost 4 years, people have been able to see my journey play out.

The thing I will say is that sadness played a really large part in that journey. I won’t sugar coat it, because had someone sugar coated it to me at the time, I would have been both very frustrated and also immediately distrustful of their advice. Most of the people in my life were in relationships - some constantly in and out of them and some in consistent ones. My loneliness was the only constant for me, so their advice often upset me greatly.

I got into this relationship when I had 3 months left before I turned 30. Something I realized after the fact is that I had been approaching dating as a chore. Something to get out of the way. Something to resent and dread and complain about. And for the most part I think those feelings were valid. I met a lot of awful people. But things really did turn around for me when I tried looking at dating as "doing it for the plot". Instead of assessing everyone as a potential partner, I tried looking at them as someone who could be a potential friend or, at the very least, a potential funny story for later.

Just remember that you are wonderful and worthy of all of the love you desire. Don't let anything make you think otherwise <3

[haisayonaraa]

Holding back tears

(WARNING: this is going to a not so happy story, it's not going to be for anyone looking for a cute upbeat story.)

[story below]

Ever since his reincarnation (thanks to writer logic) Jonathan has been well aware of age regression. At first he was slightly confused, but luckily his family was able to explain it to him. Afterwards he unintentionally picked up the role of a caregiver due to his 'magic fatherly abilities' to make littles feel small. Now a days Jonathan has been quite comfortable with this job and has even redesigned his new mansion to suit the needs of each little that he may need to care for. Seriously, this man went all out, especially after learning out how credit cards worked (he doesn't understand the fact that he has to pay it back, Speedwagon's been paying off the debt quietly).

But lately things have been different, lately Jonathan has been different. Recently he's been having thoughts about his father. Even after things where settled with Dio, and after Jonathan accepted and forgave him, he couldn't quite forget what he'd done to their father. He wasn't mad at Dio, or anyone, he just feels empty in a way he can't explain. This emptiness has sometimes caused him to feel like curling up and blocking it out. It also made him feel needy for the company of his family. But he dare not mention this, after all, he's the head of the family, the one everyone looks up to. What would it show them if he was growing upset over something he didn't even understand? And so, he pushed the feeling away until today.

Today the mansion was empty, with his family having their own personal things they where up to. This left Jonathan alone to think, reminisce, and hopefully calm down. Luckily, he did calm down, until he realized he was alone, for some reason, this felt awful.. he didn't  know why, he'd been alone before and was content with it.. maybe he just missed his family  being around him? What ever it was, the feeling of loneliness grew so heavy on him that eventually,  he broke. For the first time since his accident, he cried.

Jonathan's crying became more then just loneliness,  everything  in his life that had happened just came tumbling down on him. The loss of his father, his dog.. even the very place he grew up in. While in his sorrow, he didn't realize that he was no longer alone, that his sobbing had caught the attention of the only other person there. 

Speedwagon usually came over to the mansion  to help out with the many Littles that came and went. Sure Jonathan was usually fine with the large numbers, but speedwagon couldn't help but want to assist him. He'd  been ready to talk to Jonathan about leaving for the day, due to the lack of people, but he grew worried when he heard crying from his room. 

Speedwagon quietly entered and sat beside Jonathan  on the bed. "...Jojo?" Jonathan finally realized Speedwagon  was there,  and looked at him, "S-speedwagon- I'm so sorry you have to see me like this! I don't know what's come over me!" Jonathan looks away. "Why are you apologizing?" Speedwagon puts a hand on Jonathan's  shoulder "b-because- I'm not supposed to cry over silly little things like this.." Speedwagon looks at Jonathan,  "like what?" Jonathan meets Speedwagons eyes with his own, and there's something deep inside that could make even the toughest man's heart crumple. "I-im all alone! A-and I don't have father a-anymore, o-or danny- o-" Speedwagon  pulls Jonathan  into a hug "shhh, Jojo, it's ok" Jonathan  cries into Speedwagons shoulder, "Jojo, you know you're never alone, you have me and Erina, and the rest of your family too." Jonathan  quiets down a bit, "I don't want to bother them... they've been through so much-" speedwagon rubs Jonathan's  back,  and you've always been there for us, now it's our turn. You know Joseph always asks if you need anything" Jonathan  sighs, "but-" "but nothing. You deserve to be heard and taken care of just as much as everyone  else. Please let me help you, I want to help." Jonathan  looks at speedwagon before returning the hug.

And this is the start of something  very small for Jonathan :')

(Later, Jonathan  finds out he's  a flip. Speedwagon  and Erina both enjoy spoiling and taking  care of him. Sometimes the other Littles even get in on taking care of Jonathan :3 and for anyone  wondering,  Jonathan is the sweetest little baby, though he still needs help realizing  crying is OK, no matter what it's about)

Realized I never finished this, so I finished typing it up on my iPad here, hope you all enjoy! 

[caseythebunnyboy]

Howdy! As always I am incredibly pleased to hear from you again. It is the highlight of my morning. I imagine this is what it was like not too long ago. anxiously awaiting a letter from your loved one.

Your description of yourself (and the couple photos you've posted of yourself) I must say is incredibly helpful to aid in my impure thoughts. I've only been attracted to maybe 3 men in my life but I truly believe you are at the top of that list. I have a type of course and you just fit right in it.

I loved hearing about how soft your skin is and how frail you are. Gets me quite aroused. You can ask me anything by the way. Don't worry about if it'll make me uncomfortable or upset. everything about me is an open book! The answer to your question by the way is

Yes ❤️ I've came to the thought of you several times. I mostly jerk off when I'm in the shower (it has the most privacy as I grunt and moan quite loud) Sometimes It's fantasies of you. Other times I look at the photos you've posted. It really gets me worked up. I've probably never ravaged my sex-toy more than when I'm thinking of you. Sometimes I think about just kissing you. All over. Kissing your soft lips. Working my way down your chest to those wonderful thighs. Then of course I can't be stopped from eating out and enjoying that wonderful bunny cunt that lays in front of me. I too imagine the contrast of your soft skin and my rough hands. Maybe you'd like it if I stood behind you, towering over you. My chest firmly pressed into your back as I run my hands up and down your soft skin. I'll leave this here but as always I am anxious to hear from you again. Fare thee as well as I fare, 

your zealous admirer - 🚂 (I'm a big train guy I am nerdy about trains they're cool as hell) (PS. The puss in boots wolf is hot. I'm a top and I totally get wanting to get just ruined by him)

hello again, dear cowboy anon! 💜💜 im very glad i can make you so happy hehe, i kind of wish you would just dm me so we can consistently talk and get to know each other without you having to wait for a response everyday, but i understand anonimity is a very big thing people treasure so i wont force you to! though, if youd ever want to dm me, all im saying is that id welcome you with open legs arms 💜

(rest of my response under the cut so i dont clog peoples dashboards!)

very happy that my information is helpful to your fantasies! id love to hear more of them you know? how youd ruin me, how you would react if i ever bought a cute bunny outfit for you, what youd do if you ever caught me touching myself to you... hehe, so many things id love to know about you 😊

also!! im relieved you indirectly clarified youve been attracted to other men, even though its not that many! i needed that reassurance because ive had uh... not the best experiences with another man from the south, and ever since then ive been scared of straight men being attracted to me that actually saw me as a girl, but would just lie about being queer to my face just so i wont block them 😓 im glad youre not one of them! my underlying fear has been solved and i can now fully flirt with you without being paranoid 💜

the fact that i fit your type is a very big compliment, and just so you know, youre my type too hehe 😊 big strong man with an accent thats kinky but really sweet? hehehehe... if i ever meet you we'd both be going until we were exhausted 💜 and youve cum to me more than once? that actually makes me really needy knowing you like me and my body so much that youve fantasized about me multiple times 😵‍💫

hmph i wish i was in that shower with you, listening to your groans and moans 🥺 maybe im also a little jealous of that sex toy, im the one youre supposed to ravage, not that!!! my holes are all open and available for you to use to your hearts content but since im not near your home you have to resort to using a toy instead of me, so unfair 🥺🥺 by the way if you ever mention eating my boy cunt out again ill cum right on the spot- and last minute note, i would love if you towered over me, groping and grabbing my soft bunny parts while whispering all the dirty things youd to do me in my ear hehe 💜

noted, my dear cowboy anon is a train enthusiast! thank you for that little bit of information, and i very much hope to hearing from you again! youre so nice and interesting, anon 😊 im very excited for us to talk again 💜💜

(p.s thank you for understanding my monsterfucker tendencies, the death wolf is making me severely horny and its very easy to see why once you watch the movie!)

[patchesproblem]

do you have any spare hcs abt karl or joyce 😭 im starved

YES I DO ACTUALLY!!! I think about those two sm like you don't even understand. I really need to talk about them more, tbh.

I have A Lot to say, so sorry in advance for my nonsensical ramblings.

Actual answer under the cut

OKAY SO!! Starting with our favorite pathetic bean sprout.

I'll separate the au hc's and actual main universe hcs just to keep everything semi understandable. It'll have HC's for relationships with Karl, Planck, Einslas, etc. Also including Elysia and Joffrey because siblings can't be separated <3

AU headcanons:

Joyce is smarter than he gives himself credit for. I'm being serious when I say this. It doesn't express itself as obviously as the Einslas, but that's only because his strengths are in other areas. While the Einslas are extremely smart when it comes to STEM, I feel as if Joyce's strong suit is more in creativity. It's hard to exaplain, but think writing / reading and all that. He enjoys learning new information about things he likes (examples include astrology, writing, etc.) and he will often be able to remember details that others normally wouldn't.

He probably spent a lot of his childhood reading stories, and was probably ahead of his grades reading level. He didn't really have many friends because he has social issues, despite the fact a lot of people did actually like him. He just knew a lot of people, but he wasn't really able to form any close friendships until his insane scientist bestie came along. Though that was partially because he just was awkward and didn't know how to talk to others. Was worried he'd come off as weird or get bullied for his interests.

Tesla probably comes to him sometimes to ask for help with her own writing, actually. Although he doesn't write much himself, he's somehow one of the best people to ask for advice LMAO. They probably bonded over their shared passions, even if they are technically different. (Different in the sense of she's into writing, and he's into reading. They go together hand in hand. Idk I just feel like it's a cute little thing. Besties and siblings <33) He also probably proof reads her stuff occasionally when Einsteins too busy to, though he might've had a few objects thrown at him at some points. He also gives her advice / ideas.

Has a fear of people leaving him bc his parents just kinda. Disappeared leaving him with Karl and Emma as his care takers, and Elyisa eventually left soon after because she got married to Eden and all that. Then when Einstein left with Planck it just kinda destroyed him. He's not upset with them, he's actually really happy for them. Though it gets lonely and he's afraid that he'll get replaced (haha Joachim haha. Sorry.)

Probably really close with Joffrey tbh. Does anything in his power to make sure his little brother has a good childhood. He reads to him A Lot, and actively engages in his ideas. For example: if he has an idea to make something Joyce will help him make it. He also encourages him to pursue his own interests even if it's a one off thing. He'll often draw / write with him too. He's very proud of him

Karl is basically his dad at this point. He doesn't treat him as his nephew, but instead he treats him as if he was his own son in a sense. He's extremely proud of him and that someday he'll make a positive impact on the world. Joyce looks up to him heavily, and wants to follow in his foot steps once he gets older.

When Ein originally came he was terrified of her LMAO. She was an absolute menace as a child and lived up to Karl calling her a brat. He was relentlessly teased and messed with by this tiny goblin who could turn on the water works at any second if she felt like it. She still actually is the reason he's called Welt. Though it's because he's the clumsiest mf in the world, so dual meaning there.

She's actually one of his first actual friends, and partially responsible for his love of space. How they became friends is blurry just because it's more of a "she won't be leaving I need to learn to survive" but despite being eccentric, he eventually came to see her as his bestie / sister. Though he's still absolutely terrified of her. He still has zero clue what goes on in her head and that's terrifying to him.

He's absolutely terrified of Tesla too. Both his besties scare him half to death and he's convinced one of these days they're going to be the reason he gets killed, but that won't happen surely. They're at each others throats constantly, and would probably be those two people threatening to kill the other in a waffle house at two in the morning. They want to throw each other through a wall, but also trust each other with their lives. The only man Tesla remotely tolerates along with Karl. They have sibling energy and you can pry it out of my cold dead hands.

Him and Elysia also probably used to be really close. She cares about him deeply, and would drop anything at a moments notice to help him if he needed it. Though she also does tease him often, as a big sister should. Eden acts as a parental figure towards him as well. They both met when he was young, and he grew up with her around a lot so he just started looking up to her tbh.

He originally goes to Lab 42 to become Einslas assistant while he went to university there, and would help them with stuff similar to how he helped out in canon. Though Tesla basically said "Fuck you, we're your superiors now so you'll refer to us as Dr. Tesla and Dr. Einstein now!" and that's how he started calling Einstein Ein lmao. Tes wasn't amused.

They also drag his ass to Alaska. He never wanted to go on work related trips with them after that.

He's terrified of Planck. That's all. He's terrified. Her constant midlife crisis scares him.

Okay so for non AU headcannons:

Tes and Ein 100% got together in private and planned how to torment him. Just Trust Me on this. They were feeling a little bit silly and goofy and just coordinated together on how to torment him next.

Him and Tes' relationship is a little bit different in the main universe, for obvious reasons. Though they stay besties and have sibling energy. Neither of them trusted each other at first. Tes didn't trust Joyce because 1. He's a man 2. He's a man 3. He's a man and 4. She was scared he'd hurt Ein (was also just jealous and scared she'd pay less attention to her but yanno), and Joyce didn't trust Tesla because she's an angry redhead who would probably kill a man if given the chance. Didn't help that she threatened his life and threatened to castrate him within the first minute of meeting him, but yanno it be like that sometimes.

Over time Tes begrudgingly accepted that he wasn't going anywhere for awhile and that she should probably get used to it. While Eins was out they probably were forced to bond, and eventually Tesla realized that maybe he wasn't as bad as she originally thought and slowly began to trust him. Honestly they were best friends by the time he just decided to die like a pathetic person on them. He'd stay up to make sure she got home okay and alive, and he eventually just became her rambling buddy. AKA Einstein was asleep and she just went on long nonsensical ramblings to Joyce while he just went "uh huh.. interesting.. they did what now?"

Probably admitted some embarrassing things to him in all honesty. Though he'd never be able to tell anyone that considering she herself didn't even remember telling him half the stuff she did, and even if she did she'd actually kill him if he said anything about it. Not like he really wanted to, anyways. Was just happy she was willing to talk to him and didn't completely hate him tbh. Was also happy that he could be there for her considering his whole depression thing and knowing how horrible it was to not have someone there for you.

Though she also always cared and worried about him. Her and Ein had read his 'profile' beforehand, and Tesla immediately was scared and concerned when she realized he quite literally was diagnosed with severe depression. Though she'd never admit that and would prefer to pretend she just found him annoying and pathetic LMAO. At least before his death, after his death is a different story. (AKA she finally admitted years later she cared about him to Einstein and still missed having his dumbass around and constantly had to be held back from nuking Otto off the face of the earth.)

Another note I forgot to add that I'm adding after the fact: He was actually amazed by Tesla's knowledge. Like he knew she was smart, but the extent of it surprised him tbh. Especially after hearing how she didn't even have her degree.

With Ein it's pretty much the same, though she's legitimately just an absolute menace to everyone around her. She intentionally dialed it to ten just to make sure that he was terrified of her and never knew what she was going to do next. She did it just for the funsies tbh. Things were going slow in the lab and as much fun as it is to tease Tesla, it was funny to be able to just bully some random man who had no clue what was happening at any given second. Plus added bonus points for being able to still tease Tesla but making it 100% worse because someone else is around and Tes just gets embarrassed and loses it.

VN is basically two lesbians harass and bully some poor traumatized man for an entire month.

That aside, I feel like him and Joachim got along really well. I like to believe that he took him out sometimes to watch him while Einslas were working, and that Joachim constantly asked the Finn to go see the three. While the Einslas taught him to gaslight gatekeep and girlboss, Joyce taught him actual life lessons and tried to negate the 'damage' the Einslas had done. AKA try to make him stop being even worse than them.

He cared A Lot about Joachim, and probably saw him as his little brother honestly. I feel like they spent a lot of time together, even if it often resulted in Joyce being bullied constantly by three people instead of just two. The explosions also didn't amuse him because he's lame and a coward.

He's terrified of Planck. That's all. He's Terrified.

After his death he intentionally hid from Tesla Einstein and Joachim. He didn't want them to find him, and try to bring him back. He felt like he'd disappointed them all and he felt guilty over what happened, and he was scared they hated him and despised him over what happened. He only shows up for Bronya because he knew that she'd be his successor, and even at that he refused to talk because he didn't want to disappoint her too. Didn't want her getting too attached to him, mainly because he's too scared to hurt yet another person.

Had to end it off depressingly, sorry </3 I'm sure you understand.

Was going to do non AU and AU versions for Karl too but like... He wasn't alive near long enough to even have hcs for the main universe. I've just hit him with the dad beam honestly.

Anyways AU Karl hcs <33

He's a dad. Literally just a dad. Will adopt any insane scientist within a 1000 mile radius.

He met Ein similarly to how he does in canon, and managed to convince her parents to let him and Planck allow her to continue her studies at a college level. Ever since then he's basically become her dad, and that's how she views him. Has accidentally called him dad before.

For a majority of the time he was one of Eins main mentors, though as time went on and he became more busy, Planck began to become her teacher.

He's awkward, and is kinda oblivious. Very Oblivious. He tends to not over think peoples words, and doesn't even think that there's a second meaning in most circumstances.

For the most part he's extremely dedicated to his work, and has issues with accidentally over working himself. All he wants to do is help others, even if it causes himself issues. He's often extremely busy and running about.

Though he also is extremely dedicated to his family and cares about them more than anything. If ANY of them needed anything, including Tesla, he'd drop whatever he was doing to make sure that his family is okay. He loves them all.

I'll have to add more later, but a lot of my thoughts have simply disappeared. I'll dm you on discord when I put more for Karl LMAO.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

seeing someone else.

BISHOP LOSA. MAYANS MC ┃ USEFUL LINKS

❝ request by @encounterthepast: Hello lovely Aurora, can I request angst prompt number 7 with Bishop please, thank you, 💕

❝ prompt: “Don’t you dare to lie to me again”.

❝ request by @arveeee: Hello my dear, so I was thinking, and there is one sentence to that can't go out of my head. So it is: "let me in" with Bishop (I know I'm boring). Well I believe in you, I love you , and I love your writing. Say hello to Arya.

❝ request by anon: Hi, Aurora. I love your writing sm 🥺 I was wondering if I could request an imagine with my man Bishop? I was thinking of something like the reader and him being in kinda like a friends with benefits situation, but she decides to break it offf because she’s really upset. And maybe Bishop doesn’t understand so she eventually explains to him that she wants more out of their relationship and he reassures her they are more and they always have been? Maybe leads to like soft/romantic smut? Thanks so much!

❝ request by @meteora-fc: hello hello! so, that new trailer huh?😵 would absolutely love if you could write me something for a stressed out bishop with the prompts "Stop ignoring me, it’s driving me crazy!" and "Let me help you make it better." Thank you tons!!💖

❝ words: about 1.4k.

❝ a / n: as always, don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it!

Another tequila shot goes down your throat, ripping it off as you almost smash the small glass on the table. Tossing your head back as you rest your back against the sofa, sitting on the floor, you take a look around you. The gloomy has taken over your house as the night has fallen a couple of hours ago. It's the fourth night you are trying to forget about Bishop and whatever you two had. But you can't dismiss from your mind his caresses —his fingers drawing patterns on your back, his lips touring your neck with delicate kisses as if he was afraid of breaking your skin, his mustache tickling your inner thighs, his raspy voice articulating your name in moans. It's the fourth night miserably failing, remembering the last time you spent together, the way he was holding his back pretending he wasn't sad because you were leaving him.

“Obispo, it's over. Don't make a big deal. We're just friends who occasionally fucks”. You scoffed somewhat annoyed because of him and his interrogation, but how could you tell him you were falling in love with him?

“I ain't making any deal, (Y/N). I just want to know what made you change your mind and keep a wide berth”.

“I'm seeing someone else”.

"Don't you dare to lie to me”. He growled, taking a step closer towards you with the intention of stopping you from picking up and packing the less stuff you had in his house.

“Think what you want”. You replied, rolling your eyes.

The first tear flows in the left corner of your mouth not appreciably at first, but then, some more until finding yourself crying. You miss him so much. You miss watching him sleep peacefully in the small hours, drifting slightly when you caress his cheek using your fingertips. Flexing your knees to your chest, you wrap your arms around trying to contain the loud sobs, hiding your face between them. How have you been so stupid to fall for him like that? The two of you made it clear from the very first moment. Friends with benefits. But after a couple of weeks, you started to notice that he used to push away any other woman that it wasn't you, he didn't spend much time in the clubhouse preferring to do it in your house —cuddling, watching movies, playing poker; kissing every single inch of flesh covering your anatomy.

Reality hit you the moment he murmured something like you're a miracle, thinking you were calmly sleeping between his strong arms and your back stuck to his chest, no distance among your bodies. You knew it was a thing produced by the alcohol running through your veins and it wasn't fair for you to fantasize about the idea he was catching feelings for you. So you just ran away, like a coward.

Some clumsy knocks on the front door of your house bring you back to reality. At first, you try to ignore them. It's not like you're in the mood for visits, knowing that probably it's Leti at the other side of the place, worried because you haven't replied to her text all day. But she insists and insists. And you know how stubborn she can be sometimes. Serving yourself another shot and drinking it in just one gulp, because you're too sober to endure another of her Ted talks about positivism and what he has lost, you stand up on your bare feet. Everything around you spins dizzyingly for a second until you can react, feeling every knock like a hammer hitting your brain.

“I've heard you the fi—”.

Opening the door to receive her, your vocals get frozen as you face Bishop in a deplorable drunk state. Just like you are.

“Let me in”. He barks, not being able to look at your eyes, trying to pass you away to the inside, but you stop him.

“Go home, Obis—”.

“I'm home, shut the fuck up”. He frowns taking a sip from a bottle of whisky you haven't noticed till now. “You think you can kick my fuckin' ass outta your life by saying you're seeing someone else? You think I'm fuckin' stupid, queri— Were you crying…?”

From anger, his tone of voice falls to one lower and lower, as the concern and the worry cover his annoyance completely. Throwing away his drink to somewhere over the grass of your yard, he holds your face onto his palms. His touch causes you to tremble. His warm touch causes you to break into aching sobs, panting as you can't breathe properly. All this time you've been thinking you have missed him, but you didn't have a real idea of how it feels until his fingers have been laid on your wetted skin.

Bishop comes closer to you, touching the tip of your nose with his. You can smell the mixed scent of cigarettes and whisky emanating from his cracked lips, it doesn't bother you, tho. “Don't kiss me, please”.

Until this precise moment, he has loved your begs and pleads to his bones, but now he hates them more than anything he could ever hate in his life. It breaks his heart. He can't deal with your rejection one night more.

“Why…? Why can't I kiss you?” He asks desperately at the edge of his tears. “Please, stop ignoring me, it's driving me crazy. I can't even take care of my own shit without you by my side”.

Your knees feel weak at his words, still believing he only says that because you're just a good lover, the best in the sheets, as he told you once.

“I… I…” You babble nervously, trying to not place your hands on the laps of his leather kutte to finally push him into the needed kiss you've been craving for the last four days. “I love you”.

And why the confession doesn't take him by surprise? Why doesn't he look confused? Why does it seem like he already knew it? Bishop can't help but draw a fleeting grin across his face.

“Do you think I came here, falling into pieces, just because it feels like being in Heaven when I'm deep inside you?” He whispers, clicking his tongue slightly. “I didn't believe you when you told me you were seeing someone else. But the minimal thought I could have about it made me lose the less sanity I have”.

You blink stupefied at his own confession about his feelings. Your fingers tour his abdomen up in slow motion, starting to have some faith in his words.

“Mi amor…” Bishop mumbles in soft giggles shaking his head. “I adore you, mi amor. I don't want anything else than to share my life with you, and only with you”.

He doesn't wait for a signal from you to kiss your lips, he just takes what it's his. And you can't hold back a painful gasp, expelling in it all the sorrow you've been carrying for the last four days being separated from him. Your hands grip his shirt in two fists, pushing him as much closer as the two of you can be, about to melt in the same figure. All this time you have been trying to not love him, to forget him; and you were just delaying the inevitable. You are made for each other, that's a fact. Your lips fit to perfection —your bodies, your hearts.

“Tell me you love me”. You whimper against his mouth, causing him to smile because of your need of making it real by these simple three words.

“Love isn't enough to express what you make me feel”.

Bishop bends down without prior notice to wrap his huge hands on the back of your thighs, urging you to jump onto him and surround his waist with your legs. You haven't forgotten how good his warmth takes over you when he holds you like that, walking inside your house and kicking the door close. Guiding his steps across your place and its hallways, he reaches your dark dorm barely illuminated by a post light outdoors. He lies you down on your bed —a bed that has welcomed you for the last eight months in every kind of state. Drunk, tired, happy.

Now, you're a mix of them. Drunk in tequila, tired of crying, but happy for having him back for the rest of your life.

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @Jessprins13 @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @katsav17 @skits90s @wildsould1221 @littlekittymeow @tenderclio @badame1240 @regalbanshee @greeneyedblondie44 @phoenixhalliwell @codenamewife

MAYANS MC: @multiyfandomgirl40 @countryash345 @skyofficialxx @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo @bellisperennis0 @chibsytelford @trulysuccubus @purrrrfect @witching-hour @leathercladmenfics @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @queenbeered @sesamepancakes @gemini0410 @pinguinstudiert @oscars-wifeyyy @meteora-fc @lozaa94 @arveee @joupym @hanster1998 @missswritings @arana-alpha

[symptoms-syndrome]

Venting? Just don't want this reblogged so. No TWs apply. Comment if you want but like. I'm not in charge of u LOL u don't even have to read this if u don't wanna. It's just interpersonal drama.

My roommate is mad at me, I think. The good one, the shitty ones are always mad at me LOL. I'm trying to keep in mind that that's literally her problem and not mine to solve, but that's hard.

Basically, I had told her about my interview yesterday (which went really well!) And I was really excited about how it went. I shared how the executive director shared his salary with me, and how it's only $10k more than the base salary of the lowest paid employee. She says something along the lines of "oh, well then that's not much room to move up." That kinda annoys me, because it's nonprofit work so I'm not trying to climb any corporate ladders, and because the base pay is already way more than I (or she) make now, but whatever. I say that that's good. She goes on about how I should've asked if they adjust for inflation. I said that I trust this org to care about fair pay, because I do, the ED sharing his salary unprompted and making not much more than the base salary shows me that they care deeply, the rest of the interview showed me they care deeply about their workers, and I have a history of working adjacent to them for a long time due to my general. Having worked in a lot of local, queer focused nonprofits. She goes on to talk about her mom and how she got fucked over bc she was told in 1980 something salary capped out at $45k and how that was really good for then but now it's still capped at $45k etc. I'm like ok. She says smth along the lines of "I'm just very cynical and distrusting of institutions." And I said "I know," and I think that's what pissed her off because she's been giving the silent pouty treatment all last night and all of this morning. Which would've upset me a lot more a few months ago or years ago, but I've really tried bending over backwards to care when she does that and nah it never works so she's gonna have to work that out on her own.

I feel like she's gonna tell me later about how I hurt her feelings by saying that, but TBH I do not care. Not that I don't care that she feels hurt, but I do not care about her cynicism!!! It's unwelcome!!! 1. I know what I'm doing, I'm not stupid and it feels insulting she doesn't trust me to make decisions about my own career 2. She didn't even say anything like 'congrats on the interview' or 'im happy it went well' or anything!!! Straight to "what about the pay tho" when the pay is literally fine! It's very good actually! It's way more than both of us make bc we're both working retail RN. And 3. As I said like. We're both working retail. She's in her 30s and like. There's nothing wrong with working retail in ur 30s (TBH I might, if I don't get this job, and that would be fine w me bc I like the job I have) but it feels so out of place for her to be all up in arms about my salary if she's not making salary at all. Like I would still be annoyed if she was making like, $100k and was lecturing me about asking about this sort of thing but it's like. Why do you even care. More money than I make now is good, I would actually be fine with making even slightly more money than I make now. And not to brag but this isn't slightly more.

Plus the fact that like. It's nonprofit work. I'm genuinely not in it for the money. Ofc I have a base level of "I need to make enough to get my needs covered" but I'm not out here trying to be the next Elon Musk or conquer the financial district. This would be a job that would mean a lot to me and I'd be passionate about, and it's awesome that I'd be getting paid enough to maybe even rent a one bedroom apartment, eventually buy a house maybe, get my needs met and not need to worry about scrounging.

I just don't know what I'm gonna do if she cries to me about how me saying I know she's cynical and pessimistic made her feel bad. It's literally not my problem like at all IMO. She knows I'm not pessimistic like her and she knows her endless pessimism annoys me because I tell her like all the time. She complains and I'm like ok or I'm like "I don't rly think so" or whatever. And like I get she's Struggling With Mental Health™ but like??? Me too!!! It comes back to smth I said wayyy back here when I was like. This attitude I have is not just chance like I didn't just stumble upon feeling good about myself and my future it took a LOT of hard work and a LOT of challenging my own negative, pessimistic thoughts and I don't appreciate crabs in the bucket trying to drag me down to their level, even unintentionally.

I just also know she's like...mega sensitive and that's sooo not how I am. And I know some things I do can flip her emotional switches (like, for example, not caring a ton/being invested in the stuff she's into like movies or shows, she's a big cinephile and I am...not, I don't get a lot of the more artsy movies she shows me but I'm polite about it,) but like. I have made a lot of progress in deciding when that's actually my problem or my responsibility or my fault and in a lot of cases it really is not. And I can hope that by not chasing after her every emotional need she can learn to handle shit herself. Which, if I'm being mean I would say she should've figured out by now. She has made some level of progress with that though. It's just that she seems like. Very emotionally connected (?) to me, I'm apparently very important to her and her primary Person in her life she cares about (she's said as much, in different ways. She says she's never felt as connected w someone as she feels w me, which if I'm being honest might be primarily on account of us both being autistic) which can be honestly kinda triggering for me, but in a way where I get more...annoyed than upset? I just very much do not like codependency I very much need my own independence. Which I have, I didn't always have it but I do now. So now she's just dependent on me and I feel I've set real firm boundaries in terms of like. How much energy I invest and time I spend w her despite both living and working in the same place. At this point all I can do is like. Send out psychic "please get other friends u can hang out with" energies her way LMAO. Which she is working on it seems. I've been real busy so she had a movie night w a mutual friend of ours without me, though she had expected me to be there. I'm just like........aaaaa!!!

Plus I know I'm going to have to have a conversation w her about when new roommates move in, bc she can have a really hard time w change. She threw a real big fit when these roommates moved in and wanted to put a coffee table in the living room. I'm hoping she's better this time around. I think she can really lack...self awareness, but hopefully she's worked on that more? It seems she has. It's just hard to know what standard I can hold people to. I really shouldn't hold them to the standard of me, because I've realized that bar is actually kind of high.

[the-blind-geisha]

holy eff, that was 2 years ago? im so sorry, im absolutely unaware of the passage of time XD but yep! that's me! it wasn't very hard to find you tbh, i went to overlord tag one day and i found your art. this time i simply searched for demiurge and was pleasantly surprised that you changed your blog again (more like returned to your old one but yeah). don't worry tho, no need to hide from me! im a good anon, and a person you knew quite good (and also a person who, i think, triggered you once? with some depressing themes. im so deeply sorry for that) glad to hear you have everything under control now! but im more glad that you're enjoying yourself and grow the fandom. overlord is really amazing, both anime and light novel (that's it, if i ever decide to watch the new season or catch up with the novel). you did a very fine choice, dear, to get into it! (and, especially, to get into demiurge hehe) don't mention it truly! i've been wondering for a few weeks now how you're doing and all. and i'm really, really happy to see you're enjoying yourself and having fun.

I also wanted to say that, uh, i know how ac fandom treated you and please take no offence, but, i really appreciate that you didn't delete the responds to people's asks or the gifts that are ac themed. i know it wasn't an easy choice, and i really appreciate it. it sounds stupid but it means a lot as it brought some pleasant memories. so, yeah, thanks for that! <3 (also: your emmett is forever in our hearts) i hope you won't mind me being here from time to time (and not like, appearing after 2 years XD). you were always so lovely to talk to! you still are, of course, but yeah! lovely to talk to and you're lovely too! as always <3 - P

LOL to be fair, I think the pandemic really threw us all for a loop. X”D Heck, it being 2022 hasn't really come to my realization yet. I still keep thinking 2020 was just last year.

Haha, that is very fair. ♥ If you were able to hunt through the Demiurge tag, that is indeed where I kinda live now. ♥ Though I am working more and more on drifting my version of him out of the fandom and into my original works. But we'll see! I do love the character a lot!

Oof, I gotta be honest, anon. My memory got a bit scattered no thanks to anemia causing me a bit of brain fog/damage. So if you did anything that triggered me, it's quite alright. ♥ I've obviously gone past whatever may have happened now, and it is all water under the bridge as they say.

I adore Overlord, but my poor Albedo and Demiurge... I wish they were given more time to develop. ;~; They are my treasures next to Yuri Alpha. ♥ But I do hope you enjoy the new season! I love the animation has really been upped in quality! I'm still eagerly waiting for the movie!

Thank you! I have a lovely group of readers and friends who support me like yourself, and I appreciate every single one of them. I especially love the readers who have been with me since the AC days. The fact you guys will still follow me from one thing to the next is sweet, and I am always happy to see reoccurring names pop up now and again!

I will be honest, hon, in that I did delete a few things in my desire to heal away from the fandom years back, but not all of it is gone, no. ♥ The Fall is still on AO3, I just removed my name from it, and the Prostitute Series, while removed from AO3, is still on here too. I know those were the main stories people would have been upset to be removed from the net completely. I do still have the others on my hard drive (like certain love letters and The Dove Effect, Daddy Dearest, etc), but I just don't feel comfortable releasing them again to the public. Maybe one day. ♥

Aww, thank you! I actually did plan on bringing Emmett back into a Victorian setting but away from AC: S. ♥ I had a werewolf story in London kinda idea that I wanted him to be apart of, so he will return just—in a new way and away from Jacob being his dad. (He's gonna have an adopted dad/mentor instead.)

Awww, I adore when folks drop in to say hi every now and again! I still get people DMing me saying 'thank you for writing this super old fic from 2005' ever so often, and it's great! I hope people never think it's weird or annoying to talk to me about old times or just say hello. I promise, it's okay to do so. ♥

It's kind of why I never really ever change my name or at least, try not to. ♥ I want it to be easier for folks to find me.

It's always great to hear from you, anon! ♥

[olivenight17]

Liv I feel like sending in a matchup!! Pls don't worry about rushing it!! Aside from things you already know about me, I'm bi, an aggressive 5''2 shorty, INFP with a 100% on the introvert, I'm lonely and can't make meaningful connections, short temper, can get distant, I seem cold but I can be a sweetheart, I put others before myself all the time, really insecure abt everything, the rare times I talk I want it to be meaningful, im a gemini and finally, I'm dead set on sth once I make it my goal!

Ahhhh, I’m so happy you decided to send one in! Firstly, you’re a mood because ooooof same, our only differences are I’m an aries and I tower over you at 5′8 lmao. Now, I could have gone with Keigo... but that’s the obvious choice and who would I really be if I made things easy for myself?

Also, remember sea anon? Twas me, I was really debating who to match you with and Sirius, for some reason, struck my mind. But then I went “Hey, she is one watery lady and would probably be the type to go all romantic walks on the beach or want to go sailing and not everyone likes water. I don’t know if Lily likes water, I know, I’ll just anonymously ask her cause I sneak!” And, for other reasons as well as the one that you’re not the biggest fan of water, I decided against matching you with her in the end anyways.

For now though, I give you... well actually your other favorite character lol and best girl Nejire!

- Oh wow, opposites truly do attract, don’t they?

- While you’re 100% an introvert, she’s 100% an extrovert and I hope you can handle it!

- But in all seriousness, she gets that you’re an introvert and she’ll try her best not to rope you into extremely draining social situations. And she’s usually pretty good with it, the most you have to handle is just the big three all at once lol

- She saw you probably standing a bit away from the others and in her mind went “Wat. She’s too adorable to be standing alone like this, this needs to change.” And then went bouncing over to you, all friendly and smiles.

- Honestly, all of those negative things you think about yourself and how lonely you are? Straight up prepare to never feel that way ever again.

- She will be your personal cheerleader from this point forward and she won’t take self deprecation as an answer because she knows you and how wonderful of a person you are!

- You say you can’t make meaningful connections, well that’s about to be hecka false because Nejire is all about making those meaningful connections, so not only do you have one with her, you’re gonna have some with the rest of the big three and on top of that, Nejire’s just gonna help you make connections. The great thing about having a social girlfriend is that she can actually help you with social things! (And now I’m jealous because ah that’s what I need crap-)

- She can help you with the distance thing too, if it is a thing that you want help with. Just simply because she... won’t let you. She tends to keep the ones she loves close to the heart and it’s honestly really hard to shake her off. I mean, you’d have to go detective levels to be distant and remain distant because she just doesn’t let it happen.

- But if it’s a case of “I’m really drained socially please I need a break.” She’ll get you, and she’ll back off. Though she’ll text you every few hours to see if you’re still in charging mode, unless you specifically say that you’ll tell her when you’re feeling a bit better.

- And, while at first I thought Nejire might not be the best with short tempered people, I realized she’d probably handle it like a champ! She’s just such a bright person the anger doesn’t really affect her, so if you snap she just tilts her head like “Hey, you seem upset. Are you okay?” She’s more concerned than anything, unless you’re getting angry over something small like... I don’t know, losing at Mario Kart? That’s trivial enough I think lol, if it’s something like that she just laughs because she finds the anger hilarious

- Oh, oh, and you wanna know the best part about this matchup?

- She can’t technically make fun of you for being short!

- I mean granted, she is still two inches taller, but if she teases you for it, you can shoot right back because you’re both in the same boat. Also, I mean, more convenient for the both of you when you wanna kiss, no one needs a ladder, we’re good here. (okok, no more short themed sentences, I love you, and any of these kinda jokes are an example of my love!)

- Though Nejire is quite bubbly, she does know how to have a meaningful conversation, it’s usually when you’re both having quiet time somewhere and cuddling. The mood is just so relaxed you both can really get to talking. But let’s be honest, anything Nejire says, is what she means. If she didn’t believe in what she was saying, she wouldn’t be saying it, she’s too honest for that.

- Loves your determination to get things done! She’s quite the determined person herself, so really, you two make the greatest go-getter couple ever!

- Really, your INFP personality is kinda perfect for her.

- On one hand, your ability to focus and see the bigger picture is great, while she’s serious and focused with villains, it’s a bit harder for her to have that same focus with other aspects of life. You being her anchor is great and she’d really be appreciative of the fact you can keep her steady.

- On the flip side, she loves your caring personality. You genuinely like to help others and every time she sees you doing so her heart gets a little more soft because wow did she fall for one amazing and sweet person... even though you like to hide it at first. You’re both very loyal to each other and wouldn’t betray the other’s trust.

- Overall, you have a very well balanced, understanding, and just really loving relationship because you value the other so much and you would both honestly do anything for each other.

I hope you enjoyed, Lily!

[lovelyyy-luna]

✶march 13, 2021✶

It's alright, I'm right here

Why did you choose me? \ You know very well why Y/N

I can do it myself

I'm a monster \ no you're not

Please hold me

I'm begging you please don't lock yourself in your room

Give me one single fucking reason why I shouldn't leave

That wasn’t a question

Don't listen to them

Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that

I don't care what they think, to me, you are perfect.

You don't have to be alone

This is illegal

Your tutor is pretty hot

Why have you been so secretive lately?

I think we should take a break

How come you're the only one that can see me?

I just wanted to hear your voice

I'm not helping you babysit

Did we sleep together?

If you don't do it I will?

You're scared? Really?

This place is abandoned, don't worry

This was a stupid idea

This is crazy..none of this is real

You need to believe me, please!

Close the door

It’s three in the morning

I should have told you a long time ago

Why are you helping me?

You're in love with her

We could get arrested to this

Love is overrated

Watch me

I've missed this

Was it all a lie?

This is all your fault

Are you happy now? Huh? Does this make you happy?

Maybe I'm meant to be alone

Did it ever occur to you that I'm hurting too?

You said that you'd always be there for me. What happened?

I'm sorry what are you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes

If I ever see you anywhere near her, you'll have to deal with me

Is that a challenge

Get behind me now!

Here I have an extra weapon

You scared the shit out of me, I'm never letting you go

I am not jealous

I think I love you

Don't be silly I want to stay up with you

How about a kiss?

Dance with me!

We’d make a cute couple

Do you trust me?

if you don't want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don't just lie and say it's fine.

Stop staring at me

I said I don't know anything

You don’t think its a bit much

Call me one more time to see what happens

Put some clothes on for the love of god

Can you just give me a hug? Just once?

That was the last time. Im serious this time

It’s pitch black in here and I can see you're blushing

Am I supposed to be scared of you?

I want to take a shower so you should probably join me. It'll save water

You're just not the same anymore

It's midnight where the hell are you

What the hell if your problem

Why do you run away from all your problems?

You can't keep it all inside you know? Bottling it up won't do you any good

Hey I know you're hurting but you're not alone okay

I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression

You can't just lose your temper like this every time you get a bit upset

Calm down you're scaring me

Don't look at me like that

Were you ever going to tell me?

Sorry doesn't fix everything

I loved you first

You broke my heart

I was alone

We have to stop

You left me

I can't do this anymore

Your hair is really soft after you wash it

Shh stop fussing I’m just braiding your hair

Would it be alright if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you

If you steal the blankets I am going to put my cold feet on you

Here let’s share the blanket

You Are comfy

You are my new pillow

But I want to hear you sing

We can talk over dinner

Don't get up I’ll do it

Stargazing was a good idea

I'll be here to protect you

It’s okay I couldn't sleep anyway

I heard you talking in your sleep

Your bedhead is really cute

I love your hugs

You mess with them you mess with me

I don't want to sleep alone tonight

I love you, you know that right

I'm Coming to get you to stay there

Okay so don't freak out but I got flour everywhere

Woah I never knew you had a tattoo

Stop moving

Im worried about you

What happened to you

You can't stay in bed all days 

You're a terrible liar

Don't act so innocent

Do you believe in soulmates?

What if something happens to you

Are you sure about this

I gotta say I’m a little surprised

I'm not a child

You're screwed

You called me to remember

Do you need to go to the hospital?

Sleep is for the weak

I don't like the way they look at you

I don't want to be friends

Let's get out of here

Maybe you should sit down

You're burning up

I've got your back

Walk it off

I wish I could sleep

I'm going back to bed

Your heart is pounding

It's too early for this

Get on your knees

I thought you said you knew where you were going? Yeah I lied

Shit you're freezing let's get you warmed up alright

What happened to me

Im not letting you sleep on the floor get up here

Everything I’ve done for you’s the only thing in the world that matters to me

Feel like another round?

You were great last night

Wow you look even better in daylight

My clothes look better on you than they do on me

I had no idea you were into that stuff glad I found out

You should play with my hair more

I don't remember ever having this many hickeys but I don't mind

I don't know your name but you can share it with me so I know what to scream this time

The fun doesn't have to end

I think I can convince you to stay

Are you even listening to me?

Leave right now

What more do you want?

I hate you

Can you just shut the fuck up already

What the hell is wrong with you

I can't do this anymore

Oh my god I don't care

That hurt you son of a bitch

Pack your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight

I can break your nose if I wanted 

Meet me on the bridge in an hour

No one needs to know

No one will ever hurt you again

None of that matters now

Oh my god! You're in love with her/him/them!

Please don't cry

Please don't leave

Please listen to me

Please say something

Promise me you won't let anything happen to him/her/them

Promise me you'll stay

Shit are you bleeding

Shut up and kiss me

Somebodies in love

Sorry I thought I was alone

Stop0 talking about love for a minute and help me with this bullet wound

Tell me a secret

You said you'd always be there for me so how did this happen why weren't you there for me

Did it occur to you that you're hurting me toto

We can be friends instead

I tried to move on but nobody is you

Does it look like I moved on

I don't remember a fight or a reason so what happened why did we make up

Can I at least buy you coffee for old time’s sake?

I can’t take large loneliness anymore

What are you talking about your married

I feel like everyone forgot I exist

I gave you a chance and you used it to stab me in the back

I've been alone for so long

But you promised

I think you'll be happy to know I’m not wearing any underwear

I want you right here right now

Isn't this illegal probably

You're really drunk right now. I don't think you're gonna remember any of this. Non im not drunk at all you're just blurry

I have a feeling we should kiss. Is that a good feeling or a bad feeling

I love the way your hand fits in mine

You can call me whenever you want. Even if you don't have a reason to

I'm bad  at calling first so I always ending up hoping you will

Wait don't pull away not yet

You look really cute in that sweater

No like it just I can’t believe you’re  actually wearing my clothes

God you always make me blush so damn much

You've been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half because I know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up

The first second I saw you I couldn't get over how beautiful you were

I wanted to say I love you for the first time without stuttering but that failed

Could you hold my hand?

You can't leave without letting me hug you first

I really love holding you darling

As you're blushing like a rose

Your lips are really warm

I can't get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you're having breakfast with me in my seater

My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes

Wanna like I mean if you're not busy we should get lunch or even just coffee if you don't have a lot of time

Wow I didn't think you could make me smile this big

Quit smiling at me I can't stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that

Your hair is so soft

It's too cold come back

No im not letting you go it's too early to get out of bed

Care you can sit in my lap until I’m done working

Shh you're safe I won't let you go

I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified

I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again I promise

Look I know we don't know each other all that well but im still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone

If I could I would kiss away all your scars

I think I might be falling in love with you

Your lips are soft I could kiss them all-day

It's not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a stronger person

Mmm you're so warm

You're cute when your half asleep like this

Please talk to me about his

I would've had breakfast ready but you were sleeping on my arm and didn't want to wake you up

other links:

⇨ basics

⇨ writing rules

⇨ shipping rules

⇨ fandom list

⇨ writing prompts

⇨ fandom masterlist

⇨ taglist

⇨ ask box

[pleasedontgethurt]

Hi! I saw your reblog about social anxiety, and as a fellow roleplayer (I'm new at this) that also has social anxiety I was wondering if you could tell me how you... yunno??? Start talking to people?? I have a couple of roleplayers following and I don't... know... how to start talking to them?????? I just??? I'm sorry if I'm bugging you...

// EEEEEEE, HELLO THERE, NONNIE!! *waves* :D

Welcome to the rp-community! Not sure if you’re in the same fandom as I am, but I think I’m speaking for everyone to say we all wish you welcome here among us, it’s honestly great to have more people here! I hope you enjoy your stay and will have many great experiences. :)

Sorry this took a while, I had a busy day! But you’re talking to the right person!! Thank you for sending me this message, and you’re not bothering me the least bit, don’t you worry about that, nonnie <3

Fair warning, this is going to be a long post so please read more under the cut:

First off, wow, look at you reaching out to people! Way to go!! :D Anons like this are a great way to start off interaction with people, so if you don’t yet really have the courage to come off anon, keep doing this!

Also, do what I’m doing now. Act happy, excited and cheerful. You don’t have to overdo it, but it usually makes people feel more welcoming towards you. How I’m really, truly, feeling right now? Definitely uplifted in my mood, because I love when people reach out to me like this, but otherwise pretty neutral. Not bad, I’ve had an okay day, but when I speak normally I don’t exactly sound like this. But I do this because it’s a generally nice thing to do and is kind of a cultural thing I’ve gathered and hey, it’s an effective way to get the message across that I’m happy to receive this ask? 

With me personally then, how I began to talk to people here, I’ll let you on a little secret. I still don’t really talk to people on here much. Welp. It’s true. I’m really terrible at reaching out to people. There’s a million things contributing to this, aside me being on a semi-hiatus anyway, being terribly shy and feeling uncomfortable around most people, and the fact that I actually have contributing issues in the form of Avoidant Personality Disorder and PTSD from abuse and abandonment, which in short means I simply don’t feel welcome around others most of the time and feel incredibly awkward reaching out to people so I usually just save myself the trouble and... don’t. At this point I’m not sure I even know how to, even, unless I get a really good feeling about someone.

I’m honestly such a weenie in this that if I hadn’t already had friends to rp with here, I would have NEVER in my life even made this blog. I made many new connections through my friends and got to know them better in group chats and that kind of thing. Most of the rest of my partners I’ve gained through them reaching out to me first, and then began talking.

Not all, though. There are people I reached out to first, and basically... You just find someone you connect to in some way based off their muse or the personality and interests etc of the mun, go read their rules, and approach them through IM or asks. Anons are good at first, like I said, but going directly into the IM’s isn’t wrong. Asks though feel less personal so being off-anon in asks and speaking about their muse or anything else related to rp such as headcanons,specifics, etc, is also usually a good idea. That way you can get to know each other better without there being pressure for anything else.

Talking to them about their muse is a really good place to start, but you can also just ask if they want to plot, ask about ideas for a plot, that kind of stuff (and whatever is said about this in their rules, just remember to respect those). Most people don’t object to that. Then you just try find common interests, like your muses or the fandom/franchise or things related to each, and if you just are nice, respectful, understanding and patient, and if all goes well, you not only got yourself a new partner but a new friend!

And as far as the anxiety itself goes... Practice makes perfect. It gets easier the more you do it, but things like age and stuff also affects it. Just trying to ignore it is the best you can do. Use it to develop yourself into a better person who is more in tune with their partner’s needs and feelings, but don’t let it crush you or allow it making you into a doormat who ignores their own needs in favor of others’ (*cough* may be talking of personal experience here* cough*). You also don’t have to speak or rp with all of your followers or mutuals, and you don’t have to be friends with all of your partners. The sooner you have fully understood and internalized these, the better.

But, one thing you could also do is to just...since it’s followers you’d like to connect with; why not, for example, make a post where you tag them, greet them in some way and say you’re open for rp if they’re interested--even better if there are more than one person tagged in the post so it becomes less personal and puts them less into the spotlight than if they were there just by themselves? It shouldn’t usually matter but some people are shy and may scare off easily.

You could also make a promo post for people to reblog that introduced your muse and yourself a little, so people interested in rp’ing with you may find you and approach you.

Also, just a friendly tip: don’t take losing partners/followers personally (if you possibly can avoid it). It’s bound to happen, it happens with everyone, it may not be personal for one and sometimes some muns/muses just don’t mix well or aren’t feeling it so it happens. It’s life. When you don’t build yourself any pressure (or as little as possible) on this aspect of things, and are properly prepared, it will save you a ton of upset and heartache. Also, keep more than just a handful of partners if you can. That way if one goes on a hiatus or you lose one, you won’t lose the entire reason why you were even rp’ing to begin with.

And lastly, which is also very important. If your social anxiety is so bad that it prevents you from communicating well with others or anything else, seek professional help if you possibly can. Sometimes all you need is to talk with someone about it, or sometimes your condition is so bad you also need medication. Remember to take care of yourself. Your well-being should be most important to you, so if you notice things are getting way more difficult for you to handle, seek help. You deserve it, and it also makes it likelier more people will like you, when your anxiety isn’t there making things more difficult. Saying this as someone who did that and is now feeling a bit better.

Other than that, unless someone finds anything to add, I hope this helped clear things out for you! :D