#don't worry about it. I've burned out last year and am now in my rising from the ashes phase

[takaraphoenix]

Was pleasantly post-drunk buzzed earlier and decided to take a self-care day of Not Writing today and then accidentally wrote a complete 2.4k fic

So. To every sweet and kind reader who commented on last Friday's fics with notes of concern about me burning myself out with four posting days a week: Don't worry about it!! I appear to be physically unable not to write, I guess!

I am not, like, forcing it to get the writing done for four days, I am adding a fourth fic because I do so much writing nowadays. Literally writing an average of 6k a day right now (so, I guess the 2.4k count as slow but then they ARE countered by Sunday's unreasonable 11k, staying on an average of 6k???).

I'm fine!! I just suck at not writing, I guess??

[brrrkdslek]

BILLION BENEFITS!

✦ 014 — THREATS TO THE LOML⁉️😡👹

your palms were sweaty against the material of your pants as your mother's mansion neared. san drove quietly, only eyeing you from time to time knowing how sensitive you were about your mother.

as san parked at the entrance of her home, your heartbeat increased. you went over the plan hongjoong had conducted with you, sweating in worry. would this really work?

san got out and opened the door of the passenger seat for you. you thanked him and walked inside, with his following behind. san could act professionally when necessary, which was why you hired him in the first place. he and the others have a special place in your heart where you trusted them with every ounce of your being.

as you walked in, you looked around the mansion. nothing really changed since you moved out from there, you still remember the backlash you had experienced when you announced to your mother that you'd be moving out. the deep red scars across your back lingered with every step you took inside the mansion, silently reminding you of the last time you'd been here.

you entered the living room, finding your mother sitting on the big couch, drinking her tea with a tiny smile on her face. if you were still 12 years old, you would've ran towards her immediately, hugging her tightly. but you knew it was a mask, a mask that hid all her disgusting emotions.

you made a little 'ahem', alerting her. she stood up happily and wrapped you in a hug. not a warm hug, just a hug.

"oh, m/n! my dear, i missed you so!" lies.

"i know."

"i've heard about your relationship with ms shin! god, how happy i am for you, dear!" she held your hands in her cold ones, sending shivers down your spine.

"uhm, about that," you slipped your hands out of hers when she started leading you towards the couch, with you standing still.

"we are not in a relationship. i'm planning on releasing a statement to the press to deny—"

your head turned to the side as your cheek burned. your hand came up to cup the reddened spot, soothing it. you knew this would've happened anyways. you looked back at her, never changing your emotion.

she screamed in frustration and kicked the tableware off the small coffee table, shattering it. you saw san's fists clench in the corner of your eye. she marched straight towards you,

"what are you talking about! this is a golden opportunity for you, our family and your company!" she spat in your face, jabbing her pointer finger in your chest.

you swatted her hand away, "but mother, i don't even love her! the only reason we were together anyways was because of work. you know how clearly i set my boundaries."

she slapped you again, the other side this time. you were caught off guard when she gripped your hair tightly, your face contorted in pain as you held your ground, you couldn't back down just yet.

you saw san moving slightly as you put a hand in front of him, silently speaking with your eyes. he widens his now glossy eyes as he clenched his jaw, turning his head to the side.

"i won't let you deny them! why can't you see that i'm trying to do what's best for you!?" she screeched in anger as you winced at her voice.

"but you don't need to," you pulled her hand away from your hair, fixing it as you continued, "i'm an adult, i can handle things on my own."

"if that's all, i'll be leaving."

"wooyoung, is it?"

you halted your movement, turning around in shock, only to see your mother smirking evilly. "i knew it, i can't believe you're going out with some nobody."

"don't, call him that."

"or what?"

"don't do anything." you neared your mother as you bit the inside of your cheek.

"you know that i can get rid of him with just a snap of my finger, right?" she held her hand out as you immediately took it in your own, squeezing it between yours.

"leave him out of this, please."

"and why should i? he's getting in the way of a successful relationship, and possibly the rise of our family! you should be thanking me!" she cackled in annoyance as she pulled her hand from yours.

suddenly, you smirk. "oh, but i know you won't."

"what did you say?" she glared at you as she crossed her arms around her chest.

you pulled a small voice recorder from your breast pocket, clicking the play button: "you know that i can get rid of him with just a snap of my finger, right?—" you clicked pause as the audio came to a halt.

"you see, mother. i recorded this entire conversation, i could ruin your life if i just handed this to the press."

"you bastard!" she quickly reached for the voice recorder as you tossed it to san, who put it into his pocket.

she screamed profanities as you in anger as she held you on chokehold, sharp nails digging into your neck.

"you have no idea what you're doing right now, m/n." she said in a warning tone. "oh but i do. if you don't do anything, i won't either."

you forcefully pulled her hands off you, nails scratching your neck as her arms retracted back to her sides. you turned and walked out with san following.

as you left the mansion, you heard muffled sounds of glass breaking and high-pitched screaming, obviously coming from your crazed mother.

as you both got into the car, san sniffled. "i'm sorry..." you pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at the tears falling from his eyes. "don't be, i asked you not to interfere."

"why did you stop me anyways? look at yourself." he began to tear up again seeing the angry red marks across your neck.

you ruffled his hair as you held the handkerchief at his nose, signalling him to blow into it. "i didn't want you to get hurt, san. this is unrelated to you. i wouldn't want you to get hurt because of me."

you pulled away, wiping the tears from his face, "but that's my job..." you sighed, "enough now, okay? let's head back. i still have a statement to release."

<PREV𖤐NEXT>

©BRRRKDSLEK 2023

[ijustkindalikebooks]

I really hope I don't read a life changing book in the next three weeks so this list is out of date, but this is a list of twelve books that have been dwelling in my head for the last year.

I quote them, I think about them, I think "holy cow someone wrote that" often about these and I can't wait to either the read the next one or the next thing that comes from this author (or both). I really hope you've had an amazing year of reading and I can't wait to see your own lists from 2023.

How High We Go In The Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu - A sort of slow burn book that has dwelled in my brain since I read it back in April, How High We Go In The Dark is a dark exploration of humanity connected by short stories that have a common thread through the book. The rollercoaster story lives in my head rent free, and not in a good way, it's a little bit disturbing, but I think we live in a dystopia more than we believe we do and maybe there's a metaphor in there somewhere.

Sea Of Tranquility by Emily St John Mandel - Another book that connects via short stories, this is quite common for me as I love that sort of thing, reflecting on my list of books. I think Mandel writes so poetically and brilliantly throughout this book, she delivers on pathos and emotion to really deliver stories about people, about people in different timelines connected by a strange portal moment of magic. If you love fantasy but in a more contemporary delivery, I do recommend this book to you.

The End Of The Affair by Graham Greene - I am a collector of books as much as a reader of them and this year I've been trying to read my bookshelves a bit more as I just am buying books to make myself look clever at this point, which is just lame. This was one of the first books on my shelf, and though not perfect, and damn did she deserve better, this book delves into obsession and love and what it actually means to people. It's a weird book.

Another Day In The Death Of America by Bryan Younge - I am not American, I have never seen a gun in real life in the hands of a person I know (some police have them near Parliament, well they did once I think) so I don't understand America and their passion for ammunition, but this book should not make you proud of it. This book is a gut punch through every chapter as the author details the young lives lost to guns in 24 hours. A brilliant and sad book.

Tower by Bae Myung-Hoon - My passion for Korean Literature does not abate (I am not a Koreaboo, don't worry). There's a way Korean writers write books like their objective observers on a scene that I particularly enjoy and Tower is another good example of this. Tower again is short stories tied together about a building that is it's own country and the people who live and want to live in it. The Elephant chapter hasn't left my brain since I read it and I recommend it (unless you like Elephants, then don't, cos it's again fucked up).

Beyond The Story: 10 Years of BTS by BTS - Ahh BTS, since 2017 I've known this group and their impact of my life and music taste is so ridiculous, I feel like something's walk into your life for a reason and wow, did they. The story of the rise of BTS from a lucky break on Mnet's music show to Grammy nominations (robbed!) is incredible to read and even if you don't like them it's a fascinating insight into a group that made their name in a country that was dominated by three big music companies, and they weren't on any of them - Hybe now supercedes all of them. An incredible underdog tale.

Lirael by Garth Nix - Where has this man been all my life with these books? I'm embarassed, be embarassed for me. This series is so good so far, I'm going to read Abhorsen next year which I believe is the next one and I can't wait. I would also recommend the Booksellers Of London series too by the same author, which is every bit as good and set in 80's London/Bath. Fantastic fantasy that makes you think where is the next one, give it to me now.

The Last Devil To Die by Richard Osman - Y'know, this series is so British, it should come with teabags and digestive biscuits, but I love it all the same. A series about a group of pensioners who solve mysteries, The Last Devil To Die is the fourth book in this series and it's probably for me one of the best. The storyline with Stephen is devastating and the plot is incredible with characters that come to life every time this book is opened. I can't wait for whatever this author does next and those who voted for The Housemaid on Goodreads, I'm judging you, to be honest.

Hortus Curious by Michael Perry - Plants, people. Plants are incredible, insane, incredible. There are plants who eat living things, but that's just the start of their madness. This book is an incredible exploration in fantastic plants you would think you'd only see in a Herbology classroom but here they are in real life, killing people and eating small animals. Fantastic book, if you love nature and weird stuff, this is for you.

Against White Feminism by Rafia Zakaria - I think the white women were in the house so much from this book. How women were protected in their plantations as people were treated abysmally who were just another intersection from them. I think we all need to work on our biases, prejudices and judgements we make and this is a short and brilliant book that could help you do that. I consider myself a feminist, and to be a good one you also have to shut and listen to people who don't look like you, make spaces intersectional my friends.

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang - The only romance book for me with rights this year (I keep being recommend books about hockey players and I am, that's just not going to happen). The representation of autism is fantastic and the sexy times are sexy if you need that and the characters, the characters are impeccable. I really recommend all of her books to be honest (and Talia Hibbert too, actually) as they make such great books with fantastic rep.

The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman - John Green on Crash Course said about this book 'the thing about this dystopian book is that this dystopia has already happened'. Charlotte was told by her doctors to quit all her hobbies and stay in a room and do nothing and it drove her to a deeper sickness, she wrote this book during that time of recovering from her ''recovery'' and it makes for powerful reading. The whole story is easily found online for free and I highly recommend it, probably one of the first psychological thrillers.

I apologise if some of these are a bit grammatically weird, I am working on it, I only just found out I'm dyslexic hence my difficulty with small text and need for audiobooks (smh, sometimes it's so obvious it makes me shake my head).

Please let me know what your favourite books of 2023 were.

Vee xo

[steampunk-swift-arrow]

Watching the Rise movie, my reactions (I've heard a lot of clips and spoilers so I know what I'm getting into)

Oh, Leo and Mikey have talked about this before. Mikey knew the plan without even him saying anything

Leo you're never gonna beat that record by talking

Leo making a drinking game but it's with pizza is great

Why is Warren Stone the Worm driving?! He's in a booster seat!

Nice job Leo, you actually punched yourself in the face

Leo's face healed up awfully quickly

Poor Mikey and Donnie keep looking at each other in worry and discomfort

PB&J duo watching their leaders fight through windows and then immediately trying to keep them from physically fighting (nice try)

April! You were doing so well! Those flips were great! And you dropped your phone?

Poor Casey Jr, didn't stand a chance

CJ has Donnie's logo on his clothes

Donnie's planning to crack time travel so future him can send past him the winning lottery numbers

"We ate leaves and rats...no offense" "None taken, we are delicious" Excuse me?! What?!

Casey may have just killed a guy with his chainsaw hockey stick...

Why are the Krang so big? And why do they kinda look like flesh-y Minecraft Creepers?

And there goes their powers.

Raph protecting Mikey and Donnie <3

"If you two don't mind, I haven't killed anything in ages" who am I to argue with such a polite request? Go ahead, I'm sure there's some Foot ninja left somewhere

The Krang brother is so small (affectionate)

Cool Leo action shot!

Ooh... ouch

Leo's panicked cries as he's sent away from Raph

Even Donnie wasn't sure the escape pods were going to work, he'd never had to use them before :'(

"How would everyone rate that rescue experience?" "Sorry. Data collection calms me down" Same, honestly. I do list-making whenever I'm stressed or anxious

The perspective change over to Leo with ringing muffled voices was cool

Leo's so angry that Raph got taken

Donnie comforting Mikey again, poor boys

"Commander? I like the sound of that" no one will be able to call her anything else ever again, she's now commander. She might outrank everyone else title-wise

"Last I checked, we weren't the ones trapped in a prison dimension for a thousand years" burn!!!

Ooh eye horror, yikes

"We live to serve" "you will serve me, whether you live or not"

Oooh we're going full body horror

"Hold onto your glutious maximi!"

Even Casey Jr's mad about Donnie putting trackers on everyone

"They told that to kids?! Man the future is harsh"

"We're doing it my way, remember?" Donnie and Mikey don't look confident about that one, Leo

"Ninja in, ninja their faces, ninja out" that's not a verb Leo

"I'm not sharing my hand sanitizer" there's a reason why Rise Donnie in particular got me to look into autism, and that's because he's too relatable (this is in reference to Donnie's disliking of the texture, which looks horrendous)

Why is "Donnie's Stomach" on the whiteboard of key destruction ideas?

Donnie and Mikey protecting each other so much

Oh no, April's school actually was creating herbicides to cause deforestation

I love that Donnie has backup battle shells in the tank, he's prepared for everything

"Remind me never to get on your bad side" as if you need a reminder?

Casey's angy

Casey insulting and traumatizing Leo at the same time

"Skyscraper caper" is the best headline ever and I love it

I don't think this is something the police can handle; even with a basic understanding of what it looks like from the outside they should have sent the military

Donnie's having a breakdown, poor kid

Leo stopping Casey from interrupting Donnie, letting Donnie rant for once (only for him to be stopped by Splinter instead)

And the body horror returns

Oh, the body horror really came bac- is that a train?! A Krang Train?!

Krang Helicopter

The Eye of Souron causing explosions was pretty cool

"Donnie! What do those big, beautiful eyebrows have to say?"

"What do you say, Donnie? You ready to fly a spaceship?" "Literally, the greatest question ever asked."

And the duo of Donnie and Mikey continues!

"Where's the character development?" a question I ask frequently. Splinter gets me

And here's the height of sensory horror. Also, the horrible wet sounds that come from everything Krang are perfect. Disgusting but perfect.

The angle of the Krang pulling Donnie out of the ship makes it look really painful but thankfully, I don't think Donnie was connected enough to feel it

Ah, the Wolverine Claws. People working on the Turtle franchise love those

The body horror's back, not as bad as before

Donnie's starting to pass out

Powers back! And Donnie gets to be really cool with how he uses his

Third battle shell of the movie is summoned

The return of April's crane license

Ick, Krang-lady's impaled -oh gross, she's un-impaling herself in the most disturbing way

Mikey just threw a building. Truly the strongest of the four

Donnie protecting Mikey again <3

"Don't worry Donnie, this is not a hug! It's a rescue!"

"How would you rate that rescue? Unsatisfied, very unsatisfied, wish Donnie had done it"

Donnie's about to pass out again (this boy needs a nap after all this)

Leo about to sacrifice himself and scaring everyone (poor Donnie's comforting Mikey again)

Krang shut up, let Leo encourage Casey!

"What you failed to understand was I missed on purpose." Smug

Poor Leo. He's pretty sure he's going to die and he's okay with it

Krang-lady laughing after everyone thinks Leo's gone and April's about to kill her

If I had a nickle for every time I've seen Donnie hit a Krang in the face with a giant drill, I'd have two nickles...

"Our HEROES 💙💛💜❤" (we only see the first three in the text, I added the red heart"

Aw, they all got Casey Jr his first pizza <3

"So much better than rats" Splinter... why do you look offended? Why are you offended that Casey Jr likes eating actually food more than your rodent brethren?!

Splinter using his tail as a selfie stick

"That's my mom!" poor CJ's having a crisis. He knew he'd see his mom some time, right?

"Our home. What a town."

Movie ends with everyone cheering on Raph as he tries the insane pizza carrying challenge from earlier

....

These kids have a lot of trauma to work through but they're already looking better/happier while eating pizza. Hopefully they get the chance to rest later though

Also they should have let April kill the Krang-lady...

Apologies for spelling errors and lack-luster reactions, I'm not very good at being expressive through written text :p

[vannybarber]

The Prenup

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part Two Part Three Part Four Final Chapter

Scrounging through the little desk in the corner of Chris and you's bedroom, you hear him let out a boisterous laugh.

He was watching some movie and there was a certain part that he found so hilarious. After 4 years of watching it with him constantly, you still don't get what's so funny. But it makes him happy so that's what matters.

You were searching for the wine opener so Scott could get his middle-aged-4-kids-divorcee vibe on. You cleaned the other day and stuck it in there after a nightly dose of freakydeaky from Chris, which consisted of wine, whipped cream, and a many different forms of chocolate.

After what seemed like forever, you find the corkscrew and grin at your accomplishment. You take one more look in the drawer out of habit and you spot a big orange envelope with Chris' name on it. Being the nosy curious person you are, you take the envelope out and get a good look at it. You see the words Prenuptial Agreement in bold and your heart drops.

Chris had proposed to you 9 months ago and you were happy beyond words. After being together for 4 years, he finally put away his commitment troubles and made you his fianceé. And now you find out he's going to get you to sign a prenup. A fucking prenup.

You look around the room at loss for words. You were angry, hurt and confused. After 4 years of being together, he doesn't have faith in his own judgment that you guys would be together forever? You both have been through literally everything. There isn't one thing you don't know about each other. Your relationship was rare and it was special.

After moments of contemplation, you decide you would confront him on it. There's no way you could carry on the night and sleep after this. Not until you get your answers. Closing the drawer, you take a sharp breath and exhale before walking out the room. You get back to the dining table where Lisa and his siblings surrounded.

"Here you go Scott" you say slamming the corkscrew on the table in front of him. He looks up at you, puzzled. You glance at him then at Chris and he's looking at you just the same. Evidently your tone matched your movements because everyone went silent. You draw back and put both hands behind your back and huff.

"Babe, are you alright?" It was Christopher talking to you now. Your attention goes to him and your lips are in a thin line. Refraining from blowing up at him, you force smile on your face and change your tone of voice.

"What do you mean, honey? I'm fine." You should leave the acting to Chris honestly. That's definitely not your field of expertise. Shifting on your right foot, you stare at him. He shuffles and tilts his head with a knowing look.

"Spill it Y/N. What's up?"

"The flames when I burn this damn house down." So much for not blowing up. You snatch the envelope in front of you and chuck it on the table. Everyone watches the exchange and the envelope fly to the table. All their faces change from confusion to shock and even more confusion.

Chris didn't even need to look down to know it was the prenup. His eyes went from you to the wall. Guilt written all over it, you almost wish you gave a shit. You wonder how long he was going to keep this hidden from you. No need to wonder now.

"You want to explain to me why you have a prenup?" You place your hand on your hip and roll your neck at him.

"I got that for us."

You swear to everything you wanted to lunge at him right then and there. 'I got that for us'. Why do people always use that excuse for everything? They weren't thinking about you, just themselves and expected you to go along with it.

"You got it for us? I know you didn't do this on your own. Who put you up to it?" You look around the room. Scott has his hands up shaking his head. Carly and Shanna both let out a quiet "not me". You look at Lisa who had this look of hurt.

"Chris, you tell me everything. How did I not know about this? Why didn't you tell me?" Well now you know she didn't suggest it. You feel slightly guilty for letting it cross your mind, but you had your reasons.

"Ma, I had my reasons. I kept it hidden because I didn't know how I felt about it myself" he says rubbing his face and fixing his hair under his cap. Still didn't answer your question.

"Christopher, who put you up to this? Tell me now!" You're getting fired up by the minute. You have an idea who it could be too.

"Megan. She thought that it would be smart to consider. Just to protect me."

"Megan." Your voice is laced with absolute venom. "You know Chris, she does a good job keeping you out of trouble and bullshit so you're not all over the tabloids, but sometimes, her ass is too much!"

Chris is never in the news for anything negative. He's always minding his business and moving quietly. Megan is a great publicist, but she can be pretty overbearing about his personal life. She gave you side eye for like the entire first year of you guys' relationship.

"Baby, she was just looking out for me. You know how it is, women getting with you for your money. Guys loose half of everything they have when getting divorces."

You can't even believe it.

"I am not 'women'. I'm your fianceé. We've been together 4 years, Chris! After all this time your material things come before me?" Tears are puddled at your eyes now and your voice is cracking. This catches his attention.

"I told you from the start Chris, that I never cared about your money! Never have and never will. I am used to not having much. I'm not money hungry or concerned for having top tier everything. I've learned to settle."

"Y/N, I didn't mea-" you slam your hand on the table, making everyone jump. Chris shuts his mouth.

"I'm. Not. Finished. I am not marrying your bank account. I'm not marrying your cars. I'm not marrying your house. I don't give a damn about any of that shit. And you literally are still concerned about all of that?" Your face is wet and your nose is runny. You wipe your nose and cross your arms.

"It's not even like that!" Now he's getting upset. For literally nothing. This is his fault. "It's just in case it doesn't work out, we don't need to deal with all the extra mess."

That completely shattered you. In case it doesn't work out. He actually has thoughts that your marriage couldn't work. What would even cause that? You guys don't even argue. You don't even remember the last time you did. You've learned to understand what each other needs and mastered that. What is he on about?

"You know what the sad part is? Us not working out crossed my mind in, like, the first year of our relationship. And I decided that if we did get married, and God forbid we divorced, I wouldn't take anything from you."

He looked at you like he just found out he wasn't the father of your baby.

"Yeah, Chris. That's your money. You made it, not me, so why would I ask for any of it from you? You gave me an amazing relationship and thats enough for me."

"Oh my goodness." Everyone directs their attention to Scott. "So you wouldn't want anything from the divorce?"

"Of course not! I came in this relationship for him. Plus a make my own money. I don't need anyone else's."

You had your own business. Many employees at different buildings in Boston. You didn't have much growing up and you were proud of yourself for not having to worry about financial issues. Chris liked that you had your own thing going and didn't have to adapt to his life and depend on him financially. And he still got a prenup.

Feeling like you were gonna cry again, you rub your temples and take deep breaths to prevent it. But you failed and started crying more. Chris got up and moved to stand in front of you.

"Baby, I'm sorry I upset you. I thought you would be okay with this. Like you said, you don't care about my money so what's wrong with the prenup?" His hands were on your sides, but not for long as you shook them off of you.

"What's wrong with it? What this is telling me is three things. You have doubt that our marriage won't work out, you think I might change my mind and ask for alimony, and that your money comes before me."

"I..." he struggles to form words. You take this chance to get out of there.

"I really don't want to be here right now." Chris looks up and grabs your arm.

"Babe, you don't need to go. Where the hell are you gonna go?" You turn and grab the envelope from the table. You open it and pull the papers out, shoving it in his face.

"I'll go to a hotel or something, but I'm not staying here if this is the shit you're trying to pull with me." You turn the paper to you and look in disgust. You scan over it and your eyes fall on the dotted line where you need to sign. Beside it is where he needed to sign his.

Well not anymore.

You read over his signature on the line. Chris Evans.

He signed the prenup already. Now he was just waiting for your signature. He really was leaving you zero choice.

"You signed it already??" Everyone at the table head snapped up. Shanna gasped and covered her mouth. Lisa mumbles an "oh no" under her breath.

"So you were just going to bring it to me and expect me to sign it with no fight, huh?"

Chris says nothing, but his face is red. You don't wait for a response and walk to your shoes and your bag. Already having everything in there, you slip your shoes on and walk back to Chris.

"Just a heads up, you brought this on yourself."

You whip around and walk to the fireplace. You chuck the papers and envelope in the blaze and turn back to him.

"You can forget about that damn prenup, cause I'm not signing it. As a matter a fact, you don't even have to worry about that because there won't be a chance of us divorcing." You force a smile and clasp your hands together. Lisa and Scott rise from the table panicking.

"Babe, no-"

"Forget the wedding, this engagement and all of it. You can take this fucking ring too." You pry the ring off your fingers and throw it at him. It hits his chest and falls at his feet.

"I'm not marrying you."

You turn on your heel, grab your purse and jacket, walking out the door, leaving the Evans' speechless.

Was this too dramatic? I have my own opinions on a prenup, but maybe it's not as big as it seems? Idk🥴.

masterlist

[inkandpen22]

Old Friends and Old Flames (3/?)

Pairing: Elijah x Female!Reader / Stefan x Female!Reader (platonic) / Klaus x Female!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: mild swearing, mild violence, angst 

Word Count: 3k

Part Summary: Y/N wakes up in Klaus’s bed, making Elijah jealous. Then, she decides she’ll pay Stefan a little visit at school. When things go sour, she finds comfort at the Mystic Grill’s bar, that is until her least favorite Original decides to join. 

Masterlist

Elijah 

I pour myself a cup of coffee as Rebekah fusses back this idiotic high school dance she's insisted on taking over to bother Caroline Forbs. Halloween magazines scatter the counter as she struggles to find the right dress. She's been sitting on the same stool since late last night. 

"No, I have some errands to run." I decline her request to assist in shopping. 

She growls. "But need help picking out my dress for the Decade Dance!" 

"It's a high school dance Rebekah, it's not exactly the Met Gala." 

"Don't make fun! Did Nik burn all of my dresses from the 20s?" 

Our banter is interrupted when Y/N enters the kitchen. She shuffles over to the coffee pot with a soft yawn. 

“Morning,” she greets casually. 

One of Niklaus's t-shirts hanging loosely on her body, no bottoms of any kind insight. Her hair slightly disheveled from sleep, just sleep I hope. The mere thought of them... never mind. I grip the handle of my mug until my knuckles turn white. She's doing this on purpose. I don't know why I'm feeding into it. 

“I'll go with you Bekah,” she offers, having heard our conversation before entering. 

"Oh my goodness! Thank you!" My sister gushes. "At least someone is helpful around here!" 

Y/N pours two mugs of coffee before carrying them off. I'm assuming back to Niklaus's room. I didn't even know she spent the night here. I should've guessed it. Now that Niklaus knows she's within a hundred miles of him, he won't ever let her go. 

“Don’t worry, they didn’t," my sister tries to reassure me. 

“I wasn’t worried," I lie as I take a sip from my coffee. "They can do as they please.” 

“Then why do you still look like a deer in headlights?” She teases. 

Y/N

After placing our coffees on the nightstand, I settle back into bed with Klaus. He pulls me into his side as my arm slings across his bare torso. 

He releases a content sigh. “I've missed waking up next to you. I haven't slept so well in years." 

"I will admit, it was rather relaxing for me too." 

"It's a shame though, that we had to reunite under such poor circumstances." 

I lift my head, resting my chin on his chest to meet his gaze. "You needed me, I came." 

"At my beck and call?" He smirks, brushing my hair back over my shoulder. 

"I'm not your beck and call girl, Klaus." 

He caresses my cheek. "No, you're not, Love. You're much more than that." 

As much as I would love to stay and ponder this peaceful bliss we've created, I didn't come to Mystic Falls for a vacation. 

"What time is it?" I ask. 

He reaches for his phone on the nightstand. "Almost seven-thirty," he announces and places it back. "Why? Wish to go back to bed? I could certainly use the hours," he smirks mischievously. 

I sigh and rise up from my laid position to climb out of bed. "I'm going to pay Stefan a little visit."

With a confused expression, he props himself against the headboard. "You rather spend your afternoon with a bunch of teenagers than in bed with me? Have you had brain damage since the last time I saw you?" He mocks. 

After zooming about and changing into my own clothes, I lean down and plant a kiss on his cheek. "I'll be back later." 

"Tell me what you learn." 

"Oh no, uh uh," I laugh as I head to the door. "I won't be your little spy." 

"Then how about my partner-in-crime?" He suggests with a wicked grin. 

I snicker and peer over my shoulder before I leave. "I told you, I won't choose. Don't make me." 

_____________________________

Fuck high school, that's all I have to say. I've done it before and here I am doing it again just so my two best friends will make amends. It may only be a brief visit, but a handful of days in a school is enough to make me break out into hives. 

The halls are empty as I follow the directions the office assistant gave me. First period, history with Alaric Saltzman as requested. Starting off my day strong with a subject I can actually understand. Good chance I was present at every event Alaric can whip out so this should be an easy A. 

I finally find the right room and swing open the door. Alaric stops mid-sentence and when his eyes land on me, his lips part in shock. Murmurs erupt amongst the sea of teenagers. My sight scans the audience and land on a bewildered Stefan. This is already so much fun. What's even better is the shared look of fear between Caroline and Elena. My heels click against the tile as I approach Alaric with my note from the office. He snatches it from my hand and skims it. 

He glances up at me with a glare. “Seriously?" 

I continue to smile, acting all innocent in front of my new peers. 

“Alright, everyone listen up!" Alaric announces to the filled room. "We have a new student, Y/N. Just pick an empty seat," he instructs in a grumble. 

Slinging my purse over my shoulder, I stroll down one of the few rows toward the back of the room. It must be my lucky day, a seat is left empty right behind Stefan. Elena just had to take the seat next to him, selfish girl. 

"Okay, let's get back to our topic," Alaric tries to regroup his students. 

Right as I settle down, Stefan spins in his chair. “What are you doing here?” 

"Feeling a bit dry in the brain, thought I'd brush up on my history," I joke. 

"Y/N, you can't just show up-"

"You know, I tried to go to high school in the 50s, a total drag." I shake my head as I reach into my purse and pull out my notebook and pen. 

"Berlin, 1989," Alaric recites to the class. 

I clasp my hands together. "Oh yes! Looks like I came in on a fun day. Good times the 80s." 

"Can anyone tell me why these two are significant?" Alaric enquires. 

I instantly raise my hand, much to Stefan's dismay. 

"Y/N..." he says warningly. 

"Yes, Y/N?" Alaric calls on me reluctantly. 

"The fall of the Berlin Wall." 

"Very good." He turns to right it on the board. "The fall of the Berlin Wall." 

Elena peers over her shoulder to glare at me. “Did Klaus send you here to spy on me?” 

I snicker, is she serious? 

“Don’t flatter yourself, dear," I mock her with a narrow gaze. "I came here by my own accord.” 

Her features falter, not so confident as she expresses apparently. 

I lean closer into the aisle with a smirk. “And I understand you’re Katerina’s doppelgänger which is probably why I want to smack you every time I see you. The only reason I don’t is because of Stefan. The part I don’t understand in all of this is what makes you so valuable to my dear friend Stefan here. Other than looking like his vile ex-girlfriend, you’re nothing more than a useless human. If he weren’t around, you can bet your boney ass you��d be bloodless and bone dry by now,” I threaten unapologetically, upholding my smirk. 

Abruptly, Stefan grabs my arm, forcing me to my feet. Everyone glances back at us with curiosity. 

"Sorry Mr. Saltzman, Y/N isn't feeling well," he excuses as he drags me off to the door. He shoves me out into the deserted hallway, making me stumble. 

“What the hell!” I shout. 

"Does Elijah know you're here?" He questions sternly. 

"Elijah isn't the one you should worry about," I chuckle. "He won't do anything without Klaus's go ahead." 

He peers at me disapprovingly. "And what? You're under Klaus's close eye again? One of his minions." 

God, he can be such a goodie-goodie. I miss the fun, Stefan. This Elena has made him such a bore. 

"I was never one of his little followers," I remind him sharply. 

"Oh right, no, you were just with his brother for centuries," he challenges. 

A smirk forms on my lips. "Ah, do I sense some jealousy?" 

He doesn't confirm nor deny it, how intriguing. 

“I wasn’t lying, you know. I did came here on my own.” 

He studies me with a narrow gaze. “Why?” 

I shrug with a snicker. "I was bored?" 

In a flash, Stefan has me pinned against the lockers by the neck. 

My amusement doesn't falter. "Wow, it's been ages since we've done this." 

“Enough games Y/N," he scolds. 

With a pout, I whine. My hands roam his chest. “But we used to have so much fun." 

“That was then, this is now. You met me when I was running with Klaus and didn’t care about my humanity.” 

I roll my eyes at the subject. “Stupid conscious." 

“Your humanity is on. I know you feel some sympathy, an ounce of emotion.” 

“Ha," I laugh mockingly. "I may not have my humanity off but don’t assume I carry any sympathy for little Elena. I can control my emotions.” 

“Like how you can control your love for Elijah?”

I shove him off of me and start down the hall. “Don’t be silly-“ 

“You’re still in love with him," he calls out. 

I halt. “This isn’t some fantasy, Stefan," I tell him over my shoulder. 

“He’s the burden you can’t shake. No matter where you go or however long you stay away. 

“Enough!” I speed back to him. This time it's my turn to clench his neck and press him into the wall. 

He chuckles, pleased with himself for getting a rise out of me. He shakes his head. "You’ll always love him.” 

Abruptly, the bell rings and within seconds, students flood the hall. I release Stefan and flee the scene. 

________________________________

Immediately following my god-awful first day of high school, I find myself at the bar of the Grill. I down the remaining bit of my drink and wave the bartender over for another. Geez, Stefan can be such an asshole! 'You'll always love him.' What the actual fuck? Spare me the Hallmark lovey-dovey shit. Me, in love with Elijah still? Please, that's so the 90s. I've had over a decade to get over it. 

The bartender places another vodka martini in front of me with a sympathetic smile. I must look like I've been through something. Granted, this is my third drink. 

The chair beside me slides back and I glance to see who the individual may be. Instantly I regret the decision when my eyes land on a certain suit-loving Original. 

“Oh for Christ’s sake!" I shout as I hide my face in my hands then toss it back. "What is with today?” I ask the universe.

“Scotch please,” Elijah calmly requests from the bartender as he settles down on the stool next to me. 

I shoot back my martini and raise my hand for the bartender to bring me another. 

Elijah peers at my glass with raised brows. "Long day, Sweetheart?" 

I cut the small talk. "What are you doing here? You hate places like this." 

He exhales deeply, unbuttoning his suit jacket to relax. "Niklaus told me you'd be here. I believe we should talk." 

I scoff, starring ahead at the many bottles across the counter. "Is this going to be one of our many infamous chats?" 

"Niklaus is under the impression that you may be a crucial asset to our endeavor. In order to please my brother and gain him what he so desperately desires, I'm willing to be civil and collaborate with you." 

"Aw, does this me we get shared custody of Kol?" I pout playfully. 

He's serious I can't help but laugh. He can be such a stick in the mud. No wonder I'm such good friends with Kol and Klaus, they counteract his sternness. His sight remains locked ahead and I wonder if it's because he can't stand to look at me. 

"This is no laughing matter, Y/N," he scolds right as the bartender brings us our drinks. 

"Of course it is, you're speaking nonsense." I turn to face him, slinging my arm over the back of my chair. "You and I be civil? You know the rules, we've tried this before." 

"We've had a decade to mature," he reasons, taking a sip of his scotch. "Find ourselves as individuals instead of as a pair." 

My features fall as his words sting me. "No one can mature that much." I shift in my seat, creating some distance between us as I reach for my drink. "It will always be all or nothing with us..." 

Out of the corner of my eyes, he finally breaks from the bar toward me. From the mirror behind the bottles, I can see the look on his face. It's not the sort of look I had hoped for, it's filled with pain. 

__________________________________

I sip on my sixth martini, leaving the olives this time. Elijah and I have closed out the restaurant except for a few lingering tables. We've been silent for the most part, just listening to the series of songs echoing through the place and the random conversations happening about us. Now and again we exchange a few words. So, this is what civil is... it's boring. 

A strong piano melody travels throughout the quiet restaurant and I instantly recognize it. 

Soon, Céline Dion's voice follows. "There were nights when the wind was so cold..." 

I cringe a little. The entire Falling into You album brings back memories I wish to forget. 

"Ugh, someone change the song please," I plead under my breath. 

Elijah snickers. "You used to love her music." 

"That was before..." 

His brows scrunch together. "Before what?" 

"It was the summer that..." I shake my head, stopping myself before I say something stupid. "Never mind." I finish the remaining bit of my drink and slide the glass across the counter. 

I reach into my purse and drop a couple of twenties on the counter for the drinks. I hop down from my chair and sling my purse over my shoulder. "Goodnight, Elijah." 

I leave him appearing utterly confused. One minute we're sitting peacefully, enjoying our drinks, and the next minute a song changes everything. 

It's kind of funny, how he's completely oblivious to the significance of it and I so strongly associate the songs with our estrangement. Then again, they're all I listened to that entire summer, before and after we finally broke up. Elijah isn't wrong, I used to love her music. Now I can't listen to it without remembering every single detail of us. 

As soon as I cross the threshold of the Grill, the cool fall air breezes past me. 

"Y/N, wait!" Elijah calls after me. 

I huff, spinning to face him. "What Elijah?" 

"Take my hand," he requests, extending his arm out to me. 

My brows scrunch together in curiosity. Hesitantly, I do as he asks, allowing my hand to slip into his. “Where are we going?” 

“Home." 

Within seconds, we're standing outside the lit-up white mansion that is currently the Mikaelson sanctuary. To my surprise, Elijah doesn't immediately release my hand. Does this go with his civility plan? 

“Oh, so I’m staying with your family now?" I enquire wittily. "I thought I wasn’t considered a part of it anymore?” 

He snickers, peering up at his family's home. “I think you already went against my word when you woke up in my brother’s bed this morning.” 

My eyes fall to the pavement beneath our feet. “Nothing happened, Elijah," I mumble. 

“I know that..." he sighs, causing me to look at him. He turns to face me. "You and Niklaus have a bond I may never fully come to comprehend, but I know it’s merely a friendship of the purest kind. After all, not many people drop everything to come here and face my family in order to protect their closest friends from each other. If I weren’t myself, I would see myself feel a tad bitter about you appearing after all this time for the sake of my brother and Stefan.” 

I smirk. “Do I sense some jealousy?” 

He rolls his eyes, but I can see the hint of amusement on his lips. “Oh don’t you dream of it." 

I shrug, starting toward the house. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” 

Abruptly, Elijah grabs my wrist, yanking me back to him. I stumble on my feet until he captures my face in his hands and slams his lips to mine. For a moment, I'm stunned. Once I fully comprehend what's happening, I embrace it. My arms fling over his shoulders and his hands run through my hair. 

The all too familiar feeling has since become foreign. It's been over a decade since I've kissed Elijah and it's strange to think we did it for centuries. Does it make sense to say that it feels like our first kiss yet also completely right and natural? I suppose that's what happens when you've been with someone for over five hundred years. 

"I knew it," I gloat between kisses. "I'm your Achilles Heel, aren't I? The big bad Original does have a weakness." 

Swiftly, his hand clenches my jaw, forcing me to meet his stern stare. "Don't think this makes up for everything you've done." 

I snicker, allowing my eyes to fall to his lips. "Wouldn't dream of it, Baby." 

Eager, he brushes his lips against mine and I complete the distance. As I said, it's always going to be all or nothing with us. We’re either passionately in love or passionately at odds. We’re extreme opposites and everything about our relationship is just that... extreme. We can never be just civil. 

_________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @mikaelsonloverr @felinegrate

[sholiofic]

(1/2) I've got a prompt that might be a bit R rated and gory, so I understand if you don't feel like it. SamBucky and Zemo are in a middle of a fight, Zemo gets in a very tight situation and to survive he has to resort to violence too extreme even for him (for example by ripping out his enemies throat with his bare teeth). Sam and Bucky see it happen and, to put it mildly, are deeply fucking concerned. Zemo tries to brush it off with "well you know I'm a bad guy >:3" but inside he is shaken, +

(2/2) + not only by what he had to do, but also by the onslaught memories of what he had to endure during the war in Sokovia in the late 90s. On top of that Sam and Bucky saw him do it, and it bothers him for some reason. So basically three veterans from three different wars dealing with PTSD.

--

Also on AO3: Catalepsis.

--

Zemo was covered in blood when they got to him, leaning with his back against the inner wall of the HYDRA outpost. There were ten guys dead on the floor, at least. He'd rescued himself before they even got there, and every last person in the compound except for Zemo was dead.

It was Winter Soldier stuff, Sam thought, a little dazed. Or Sokovian death-squad stuff, was more like it. It shouldn't have shocked him. He knew Zemo had killed probably about this many guys on the Madripoor docks getting them out.

But ... not like this. That had been fast, with a gun and the element of surprise. These guys had been killed with hand tools and probably bare hands in some cases, and it showed. It really, really showed.

"You're late," Zemo said, straightening. He coughed a little and wiped his hand across his face, leaving painted streaks of lurid red.

Despite all of that, Zemo had himself fully pulled together by the time they reached him, and Sam just found himself staring. Zemo smiled back. There was blood all over Zemo's face and even on his lips and teeth, along with a split lip and a bruise on his cheek.

"You okay?" Sam said at last. "I need to check you over—"

"I'm fine. Oh, stop with the shocked looks. You know what I am," Zemo said, pushing off from the wall. There was a slight wobble, and then he got his footing. "I never lied about that."

Sam traded looks with Bucky, and was a little surprised and maybe a little worried that the former Winter Soldier looked one step away from being freaked out himself. Some of those bodies were fucked up.

---

They set fire to the place on their way out. Sam hated it, but he didn't fight it.

Back at the safehouse, Zemo vanished into the bathroom and was in there for a really long time. The shower ran and ran.

Sam made burgers on the general principle that they all needed to eat, and then regretted it, and regretted it more as the smell of barbecued meat filled the backyard and the interior of the kitchen. He turned off the grill and ditched the charred burger patties in the trash. He turned on the stove instead and put on a pot of water for pasta.

Bucky was sitting against the wall, lightly running his flesh-and-blood hand over the metal one.

"No need to feel sorry for them," he said, and Sam looked around sharply. "They got what was coming to them."

"I don't," Sam lied. On some level he was aware—he was always aware—that everyone they dealt with, everyone they fought, was someone like Karli, someone like Bucky or him, or Zemo: someone who had a different choice at some earlier point in their life and for whatever reason, didn't take it.

The pasta water boiled over. Sam turned off the fire under the pot and after a while he dug into the fridge again, found cheese and sausage, and crackers in the cabinet above the stove. He made a plate out of it.

Zemo was still in the bathroom. Bucky had found Looney Tunes cartoons on the TV and lay down on the couch.

Sam had a definite feeling that a snack tray wasn't going to solve their problems, but he made it anyway, finding some kind of satisfaction in laying out cheese slices. There was a jar of olives and he added those too.

The water upstairs finally shut off, and some time later, Zemo came down. He was wrapped in a robe and shaved, and also pale and tired-looking. The bruise stood out brightly on his cheek, along with the sharp line of his split lip.

"Oh, that's very thoughtful, Sam," Zemo said, with a glance at the cheese plate, and he went straight past it to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a crystal glass half full of something amber-tinted and strong-looking.

"You mind sharing?" Sam said.

Zemo glanced at him, and then poured another and handed it to him. "James?" he said over his shoulder.

"Why the hell not," Bucky said, sitting up on the couch.

Zemo passed drinks around. There were dark smudges under his eyes, and his smile was passing and perfunctory, not touching any other part of his face.

"You want me to look at anything?" Sam asked. "I'll trust that you're fine if you say you're fine. Keep in mind, though." He rolled the hand not holding the whiskey glass, and took a drink. It burned behind his teeth. "Pararescue," he said hoarsely.

"Ah, right. That's your damage, isn't it?" Zemo said. Before Sam could respond to that, Zemo sat on the arm of the couch and pulled the robe down from his shoulder. "I was wondering about this," he said brightly.

Sam knew exactly what was looking at. Electrodes left that kind of burn, and the resulting spasms that kind of bruise, rising to the pale surface.. The spasms could sometimes be hard enough to break bone.

"Mind if I touch it?" he said neutrally.

Zemo simply raised his chin in response. Sam explored with his fingertips, found no worse damage than what showed on the surface, aside from a slight heat that hinted at deeper bruising to come.

"It's not that bad," Sam said. "Put a little heat on it, might help it feel better in the morning." As Zemo twitched up the arm of the robe, Sam added, "We should've gotten you out earlier."

"You're not my keepers."

"No, we kinda are, actually." Bucky's voice was casual, but he was sitting up now. "At least according to the UN and Wakanda."

Zemo said something in what Sam assumed was Sokovian, guttural and soft and fluidly beautiful.

"Sorry, didn't understand that," Sam said.

Zemo looked a little surprised. "I'm sorry, that wasn't English, was it? A passing comment on brothers' keepers, that was all. Not worth repeating."

Sam got up and got the whiskey decanter, and also the cheese plate. He could still smell that barbecue aftertaste of the HYDRA compound, overlaid with all the blood on Zemo as they'd hustled him out of there. And behind that was the memory of finding Riley, years ago—or what was left of him, when they got to him. Different worlds, he thought, different war, but it didn't feel all that different, sometimes. He cracked open the jar of olives and laid the whole thing out on the coffee table.

"We've got like a hundred channels here," he said. "There's gotta be something on other than old cartoons."

"Hey," Bucky protested. He'd switched to the Flintstones. "I haven't seen these."

But it was a token protest. Sam took away the remote and skimmed quickly across the news, a romcom, and some sort of action movie with explosions and car chases, and settled on a cooking show. People making cakes and laughing, dumb escape kind of stuff.

No one objected. Instead, Zemo sat with his back against the couch where Bucky was lying. Bucky drowsed, and even Zemo was half asleep from the look of things, eyes fixed on the television and fingers playing across his mostly-undrunk second glass of whiskey. And after a while, Sam built himself a stack of cheese and sausage and crackers, and even had the appetite to eat it.

[razrbladekiss]

Tyrants | Chapter Four - Peril

WORD COUNT: 5.1k

WARNINGS: Mentions of death, drug use, Tig being Tig. The usual SOA shit. Sorry Donna..

She always saw the beauty in darkness. The lugubrious belle that came alongside the moon and stars and whatever else lurked amidst the murk of nighttime.

Isla was cliche in that sense.

She was cliche in the sense that she adored watching the sun set, swallowed by the mountains and high-rise buildings as the evening fell and Charming was painted black.

And maybe it was mostly melancholic because of the horrors that swathed that small town, but it was still beautiful nonetheless.

She still liked to bask in the scenery, to discern the marvel of her home, from the highest point she could access. And, sometimes, she liked to take somebody along with her so she wasn't completely alone.

"Why'd you still come up here?" Ope asked, pulling himself onto the roof as she sat with her back to the wall--puffing on a cigarette.

"Because it's quiet." She was content, comfortable with her response. "And whenever I'm looking for Jax, or Gem, or my dad--or they're looking for me--this is where we're almost always found. Just people watching, or reminiscing, or having a few minutes to ourselves away from the chaos downstairs."

It wasn't an unknown safe space--Gemma had told her that JT and Clay would climb up there during the earliest days of the club--but it was special.

Jax, Opie, and Isla spent time up there as kids, too. Because they were bastards and were always running from their fathers--and den mother--and the roof of the clubhouse was their go-to.

She never really got out of that habit. She'd spend hours up there if she could, just watching as Charming bustled beneath her. And she liked that it was separate to the garage, but everyone knew where to find her if they needed her.

"It clears your head, being up here." She added. "I have got so much shit going on right now--between work, and my personal life--but coming up here is like a refreshment, I guess."

Opie understood what she meant because he was also seeking comfort in the night. Riding through dusk, spending time alone on his bike as he cruised the streets of his quaint town, relishing in the darkness because it was strangely comforting to him.

He liked to be alone. His thoughts were brutal and they seared his brain left and fucking right, but he liked his own company.

"Wish I thought about comin' up here when I was released from holding." The man chuckled, balancing a cigarette between his lips. "Stahl grilled the fuck outta me."

"She did?"

"Yeah. She really fuckin' did." He added, grunting as smoke blew from his nostrils. "Did she get you? I know she got Gemma."

"Nope, she didn't. I don't know why, though. She interrogated everyone else. Starting to feel a little left out."

Opie chuckled, smiling a bit. "Be glad. It's obvious that she's used to getting what she wants."

"And did you give it to her?"

"Fuck no." Isla smiled. Proud. "She can cross-examine me all she fuckin' wants—I'll never sell the club out."

"They know that, Ope."

"I know." Half confidently, he nodded. "Just—Stahl made me second guess it all, y'know?"

Nobody in Charming--aside from the PD--knew where that despicable bitch came from, and nobody cared to ask.

What they did know, though, was that she had her heart set on making that town a living fucking hell as she strived to eradicate the Sons of Anarchy by getting to its members.

She'd grilled everyone she could've. She cornered Gemma when she was out running errands, leaving the grocery store with a sour taste in her mouth when Teller told her where to fucking shove it.

Same went for Jax, and Clay, and Chibs, and Tig, and...Well, all of them told her to get fucked, actually.

None of them caved. None of them wanted to sell the club out because there was no reason to.

Well, there was a reason to, but no desire to.

There'd been murders. Three, to be specific. And one of them just happened to be a police officer--which was quite unlucky, but it wasn't awful.

They hated cops.

What they hated more, however, was the idea of getting caught by them. And Clay was. Somehow, anyway.

Piney's old "friend"--Nate Meineke--needed quality, albeit illegal, guns with no traceability to attack the convoy that was transporting one of his friends from point A to point B. And it went as swimmingly as possible...

Until June Stahl was put on the case and found that idiot's phone at the scene after dropping it mid-ambush.

Clay just happened to be the last person he had called. Which then caused the investigation to point toward Charming.

They all knew the Sons were guilty of supplying those weapons. Who else would it have been? They were known for running illegal firearms without batch numbers from a quaint Californian town whose name didn't quite fit its image.

It was blatant, though nobody gave it up.

But Stahl tried her damndest to get answers. And when she didn't, she targeted the member that she saw to be the most vulnerable--after a hit went wrong and he failed to cover his tracks--and Opie just happened to be that guy.

She questioned him for hours. She practically held the man captive in that little cell until he caved. But he didn't--and he wasn't going to, either.

He was loyal. That's one of the reasons why Jax wanted to patch him back in.

"Yeah, I know." Isla got to her feet when she heard Tig yelling for her downstairs. "But you're the strongest guy I know, Ope. I don't think Stahl, of all people, is gonna get to you."

He shrugged her off, flicking the butt of his cigarette to the gravelly ground of the roof.

Opie had changed. Not much, and it wasn't very apparent, but he'd changed. Chino had changed him, she thought.

He was still dedicated to his club, still in love with the reaper and the responsibility that came with the patch--but Opie Winston lacked that flicker of enthusiasm now.

"How does your dad feel about you being back at the table?"

"Said he's proud of me."

He was a man of very, very few words. But the tone that he took--the sheer relief twined into contentment--spoke a greater volume.

Piney would always support his son, feel a sense of gratification from his involvement in the club. And, of course, Ope felt grateful to be back--but it was different now.

He'd served time for his club. Donna consistently argued that they sold him out and that he was fucking stupid for running back into the arms of SAMCRO.

But it was his brotherhood. The Sons of Anarchy were his family--his lifeline. He was nothing if not blessed to be patched back in.

"And I guess that wife of yours isn't too happy about it?"

"How'd you reach that conclusion?"

"Well," she ignored that Tig was waiting for her, standing directly in front of him. "If she was genuinely thrilled about you being back here, she'd have been coming to Gemma's dinners, and spending more time at the clubhouse with us. But she isn't, and I'm starting to realize that she probably hates me now."

His head shook. "She doesn't hate you. It's just...It's just raw. Weird being back, I think."

"She didn't even have to leave. She knows that."

Donna did know that. But there was always something about Gemma. About the way she let things slide so often, how she felt that she had Clay so pussy whipped that he'd be at her every beck and call--but, really, that was redundant. Because Gemma let him get away with fucking murder.

Literally.

"Is she gonna be there tonight?

"Of course. She wouldn't miss Jax's son coming home." He got up, reaching for her hands. "Sorry that she's been so distant with you, Isla. But she's just been stressed out--money worries and the kids and stuff, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know."

Donna wasn't traditionally a worrier. But five years worth of finances, being a single mom, and fretting over her husband potentially not making it out of prison alive, just did that to a woman.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"I don't think so." Grateful for her offering, though recognizing how damn stubborn his wife was, he conceded. "Thanks, though."

"Anytime. And if you change your mind, or need me, you know where I am--"

"Isla!"

"He is getting on my last fucking nerve today." She groaned, flipping Tig off as she looked over the ledge. "I'm coming! Give me a minute!"

"I've given you plenty of minutes! Just get your ass down here!"

"Just go," Ope chuckled, leaning down to peck her cheek. "We can have this talk another time."

Isla turned back to him, frowning. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Go 'n talk to him--I'll see you tonight."

He was such a nice guy. So considerate, kind.

She loved him a lot.

The flouncy sundress rose to the middle of her thighs as she sauntered through the clubhouse, hearing Trager talking--rather conspicuously, though slightly muffled--to somebody on his cell.

"C'mon, Tiggy. Why'd you yell at me?"

He waved his hand to shut her up, gesturing for the blonde to follow him out of the clubhouse and toward his bike.

"Yeah, cool. K, brother--see 'ya later. Bye." He hung up and slid the phone into the pocket of his cut, swiveling to face Isla with a smile. "You ready?"

"For what?"

"The party?" Tig told her, watching confusion sweep over her face. "I'm taking you over 'cuz you want a drink and don't wanna drive home after? And that you're probably gonna end up heading home with Juice, or something--"

"Juice?"

"It always happens," he shrugged, pointing at the helmet he set out for her at the back of his bike. "We all head out, you get too drunk, you take a liking to Juicy, and you try to ride his dick."

"What?" Isla got herself situated behind him as he got on first, her arms wound around his waist. "That was one time. I've only slept with him once, and I told you it'd never happen again."

"And why is that?"

Her cheeks flushed red, the engine revving sending vibrations through her entire frame.

"Because he was too gentle." Tig's foot collided with the kickstand.

"And the little Catholic girl likes it rough."

She felt the solid gold crucifix burning a hole into her chest.

"Yes. I like it rough." He groaned, leaning into her. She swatted at his chest over his shoulder, laughing heartily. "Just take me to see the baby, dickhead."

The bike sped out of the lot and Isla was loving the thrill of being on two wheels. She'd always liked being stuck to the back of somebody's Harley--but she'd never own one herself.

Isla was like Gemma. She felt stable enough riding with somebody, but riding alone--being in control of the motorcycle--was fucking terrifying.

Jax and Opie had encouraged her to take a ride at one point, but it didn't end very well, and Chibs spent the best part of two hours trying to stitch his daughter back up whilst Gemma castigated the two imbeciles who thought it was even reminiscent of a good idea.

Weaving through traffic gracefully, freely, was appealing to her, however. But she wouldn't be caught dead--alone--on a fucking bike.

Plus, she quite enjoyed being taken places. Escorted by a member of the club. It was safe.

The wind whirred and whipped around them, and she wished she didn't make the effort with her hair tonight. It was ruined, tousled to within an inch of its life, and she dreaded the thought of having to brush the knots out in Jax's bathroom.

Still, commuting via Harley was a hell of a lot quicker and had a few more benefits than commuting via car.

But the looks that they got were piercing. Horrible. Mainly from Hale stationed beside his squad car, watching as Isla and Tig raced down the freeway.

"He likes you." He spoke over the roaring engine when he hit the first stop light all night. "He hates that you've never given him a chance--"

"He's a cop, and I'm the outlaw's daughter. I've been raised to hate his kind."

Tig nodded his approval, setting off once again when the light switched to green and all opposing traffic stood still.

At one strange point in time, David Hale had his sights set on Isla Telford. He was in love with her. Completely besotted.

And she never gave him a second glance because, for one, she wasn't interested. He hated that she was so close to Jax and Opie, but not him, and he wished that she'd push herself away from the bad guys to grow closer to the heroic law-enforcer.

But he was a control freak above everything else, and Isla was just a free-spirit. She was loyal to her friends and family but she didn't want to get tied down, and she didn't want to become friendly with a fucking cop.

The only cop she liked was crooked. And Unser was in a similar spot to her--a little too affiliated with SAMCRO, but not completely doted on. Though, they were both strangely essential fixtures, and Clay would've been lost without them.

"Juice is here." Tig taunted as he helped her off the bike, holding her hand when she stumbled over herself a little. "Try to keep those panties on."

"Can't make any promises, Tiger." Her growl was seductive, though he knew that she was fucking with him.

She'd given up rebuking his claims, instead feeding into them because, with Trager, she couldn't seem to win. He was sleazy, and she loved that back and forth.

What she loved more, though, was that he was comfortable. He was a strange man, and nobody really understood just where he came from, but Isla liked that she could make jokes of any kind around him. He was easy to get along with. Easy to love.

And, man, did she love Alex Trager.

"If you do fuck him, though, would you make a video?"

Isla stepped into Jax's front room, turning on her heels. "Who said that we haven't already got one?"

She chuckled and wandered into the party, leaving Tig with a few convoluted thoughts and even more raunchy questions.

"Fuck. Gemma taught her well." He grumbled under his breath, reaching for the beer in Half-Sack's hand.

He slumped on the couch, motioning for his usual lay to sit in his lap as he watched Juice fawn over his little blonde friend making conversation with some other random woman already.

"Yeah, totally..." she agreed with whatever the girl was saying, but her eyes were glued on Tara. Just floating around the party.

She felt bad that the doctor was alone. Despite all that she thought of her, being out of ones depth in such an intimidating setting wasn't very nice. And Isla was an empath.

"D'ya think anyone 'round here has any nail glue?"

"Gemma might." She smiled, pointing toward the kitchen.

Grateful that she managed to shake that one off, Isla weaved through the small conclave and sat beside Tara, offering a friendly face during a time of such discomfiture.

Her heart was aching, the sheer nervousness was palpable, and she knew that Tara felt the same way too.

But Isla just sucked it up. Because she wanted to talk to her, and had to be the one to initiate it.

"Thanks for coming." Her smile was wide, genuine.

She offered a beer to the brunette, hoping that she'd take it.

"Thanks for asking me here." Tara accepted it, glad that Isla remembered she wasn't particularly a wine girl like herself.

Christ. This is awkward.

"Trust me, you were the first person I asked to come tonight."

"How so?"

"Well," a little bit more comfortably, she faced her completely, "you've literally nursed Abel back to health. You've been there every step of the way. You've been the best surgeon. And, as much as I hate to say it, you helped Wendy so much, Tara. I'm really thankful for all that you've done for this family."

"It's my job." She tried to brush the comments off, but her heart definitely fluttered at the praise.

Isla never changed. She was still the sweetest soul, she thought.

"I know, but you've had it rough with this lot--with Gemma, I mean."

"She isn't anything I can't handle." Confidently, she asserted.

"I know, and I'm glad that you're able to stand your ground." Reluctant, a hand landed against Tara's palm.

She jolted a little bit, but softened into the embrace.

It was comfy, warm. Prosperous, perhaps, because it meant something. Tara not jerking away and leaving once Isla offered a friendly embrace, was promising.

They spoke about the baby for a little while, and shared a few laughs at Tig's expense. It was strange, really. To be talking to her ex-best friend was strange, but she'd missed it.

Donna joined the mix, too, and it was starting to feel like old times. Isla recognized that they'd never slip back into that routine, the dedication to one another that they'd known when they were kids--but it was nice.

The conversation stuttered and it wasn't able to flow as freely as what she might've liked, but it was a start.

To know that she had something resembling an acquaintanceship with two women she admired, was nice.

And Jax introducing his baby to his brand new home, to his extended family that were already so fucking dedicated to him, was just the most wonderful thing ever.

"What about a beer?" Clay joked, holding the bottle close to Abel. Jax laughed, though he shook his hand away. "What? Grandpa can't give him his first beer?"

"No, he can't."

"I'll take it, though. If you're offerin'." Chibs grabbed the Budweiser and twisted the cap with the leather grip of his glove.

He gestured to Isla, tipping it toward her. "Want some?"

"No, you're alright." She went back to her wine, smiling at that little bundle of happiness in Jax's arms, wondering how the hell he'd gotten to be in this position now.

But it was because of Tara. Her commitment, her talent, and sheer want to help that angel through the roughest patch that a baby could have possibly been thrust into.

How Gemma could still loathe that girl--after everything she did--was beyond her completely.

Tara was the unlikeliest hero in Abel's story.

"Why is it that every time I see you, your highlights get more chunky?" Gemma smiled at the comment, turning to see her favorite girl, flaunting the most beautiful smile.

She handed Isla the bottle of whatever wine Chibs could get this evening, unable to quit beaming at the thought of her grandson finally being at home. Where he belonged.

"I told you I'd do them for you, Gem."

"I know," she nodded, playing with a few strands of hair, "I was gonna ask you, but you've been a little distant this week--didn't wanna add to your workload, baby."

"That's super considerate of you. Are you alright?" Isla teased, holding a hand to Gemma's forehead.

She slapped it away with a laugh. "Fuck you. I'm always considerate."

"Sure you are. That's why Wendy is here, right?"

"No," her head shook, "she's here 'cuz this is her house. If I had it my way, she'd be out on her ass faster than what you could even say 'crank whore.'"

Isla wiped at her lips with the back of her hand, tipping her head toward the blonde in the living room.

"I thought you made sure she was gonna be here tonight?" Confused, she quizzed.

She was under the impression that Wendy was starting to grow on her. After she'd tried to kill her, of course.

"I did," Gem confirmed. "But only because I knew it'd be awkward between her and Tara."

Amazed, or maybe fucking horrified, Isla simply glared at her.

It should've been obvious to her--plain as day--that Gemma Teller doing a good thing was simply a bullshit facade, built in order to take away from the fact she wanted to do an inherently bad thing.

But Isla liked to see the good in people, so it wasn't. And that really was one of her mot fatal flaws.

"She thanked me for letting her stay, too."

"And what'd you say to her?" Almost as if she didn't want to know the answer, she asked.

Black nails danced along the rim of her wine glass as she leaned against the counter, watching everybody enjoy themselves as they bitched and moaned.

"That she's lucky to be alive."

"Jesus, Gem," her head shook disparagingly, disappointed perhaps.

But being surprised that the woman made a threatening comment toward Wendy, was just as stupid as being surprised at Tig for fucking another hooker during his free time.

"You've gotta keep her close, ma. She's the mother of your grandson, the woman your son did love at one point."

Ma. The word rolled off her tongue unintentionally most of the time, but she didn't hate it.

Gemma was the mother figure in her life--hell, she was the mother figure in a few of the Sons' lives--and it didn't feel weird using that around her. It was affectionate. She adored it.

"Jax never loved her," matter of fact, she retorted. "They got drunk together. They smoked dope together. They didn't love one another--"

"They got married." Isla reminded her. "They have a kid together. They have a lot of history."

"Just because they have history, doesn't mean they love one another. You've got history with him."

Her chuckle was throaty, almost a full-on splutter. "We have not got that same history--we're friends, Gem, you know that's different."

She supposed the blonde was right.

There was hell of a contrast between friends for life and friends with benefits--and Gemma knew that. She just didn't like that Jax gravitated toward Wendy when he'd always had Isla right there in front of him.

Though, she was more than aware that the pair didn't look at each other that way--she still lauded the thought of the two together.

"I still hate her."

"I know," Isla laughed at Gemma's irritability, sipping on her wine, enjoying the sight of everybody having a damn good time.

"She's checking into rehab, too."

"Really? Where?"

"Some place in Oakland, I think." Gemma added, smiling at Clay when he wandered over to the pair. "But you didn't hear that from me."

"You think she's gonna stick to it?"

"Couldn't tell 'ya." He answered for his wife, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to Isla's cheek. "She's determined though, I'll give her that."

"Yeah?" His nod was optimistic--strange for Clay Morrow. "Well, I'm glad she's working on herself, anyway. She's got potential."

"You hate her."

"I know." She didn't refute the assertion. "But I'm still happy for her."

At least somebody is.

She wasn't lying. Wendy was a good girl, a woman tortured for no good reason. And she felt for her, she really did.

It'd been a shock, finding out that she was pregnant. But it wasn't like they weren't expecting it--what with the rate she and Jax were going at it.

From the start, Isla and Gemma were worried. She was notorious for her crank habit and the girls thought she was going to kill herself before she had the chance to see her son into the world.

And that almost happened, didn't it?

The doctors at St. Thomas were fucking miracle workers--Isla was on pins and needles waiting for a call to say that Wendy and Abel were okay.

But she tried not to dwell on that, now. They were both as healthy and Abel was as happy as he could've been, so Isla was content. She wasn't pleased, but she was comfortable with the way that things were going.

Tara, however.

"No!" She yelled, backing out of the nursery. "No, fuck you, Jax."

Juice stumbled backward when she nudged him out of the way, pulling her purse from the kitchen counter.

Isla and Gemma couldn't not stare.

"Tara, c'mon!" Jax called after her, but it was too late.

The front door had been slammed shut and the party came to a complete standstill. A thickening tension was shrouding the group, and things were only just starting to simmer.

"What was that all about?" The blonde asked Juice, leaning against the island.

She didn't want to prove Tig to be right but, after a few glasses of wine, Juan Carlos Ortiz was starting to pique her interests.

He swallowed thickly, watching Clay leave the room. "He said something about Wendy--wanting to keep whatever it is that he and Tara have going on the down low so it doesn't set her off, or something."

Makes sense.

"He has a point. She's doing really well lately." He continued. "Jax would hate to stunt her progress by shoving his relationship with Tara in her face."

Isla was rattled.

Jax hadn't talked to her in days, and she wasn't aware that so much had changed. She wasn't aware that he had established a relationship with Tara Knowles.

Again.

You know what they're like--like two fucking magnets or something. They always find a way back to one another.

She was too irritated to reside in that same room as Gemma, now. Knowing the conversation she'd initiate the second that Juice left was too fucking much. So she left first, instead.

The living room was almost empty. Just Clay, Bobby, Tig, and Chibs sat around the couches as Donna, the kids, and Ope were preparing to set off.

Everything was annoying her, now. She hadn't made the effort with Donna all night, but she was pissed that she hadn't started to say goodbye to her yet.

Isla was so fucking irritated that she didn't even want to talk to Tig, or her father. So she didn't.

"Where're you going, petal?" Chibs asked, hindering her plan to keep her mouth shut for the rest of the night. He knew that she'd crack a smile at the nickname.

"I was just wandering. Not really sure what to do with myself."

"Come sit down," he gestured to the space between himself and Tig, and wound an arm around her when she met the leather. "I've missed 'ya."

"Tonight? Or just in general."

"In general. It's been a few days, love."

"I know, I'm sorry." Her head rested against his Sgt. At Arms patch, and she sighed. "Work has been so fucking busy and I feel like I haven't gotten a moment to myself this week."

Isla only worked a part-time gig at some shitty salon just on the outskirts of Charming--edging into Stockton--but she hated her job.

She hated driving into the city every morning and evening, wasting a fuck ton of her paycheck on gas when, really, there was no point.

She hated her cunt boss.

Hated her cunt clients.

She hated that nobody really spoke to her because of who her father was. And when they did speak to her, it was almost like they were scared. Of Isla.

Gemma had always promised her that there was a space at the auto shop for her had she needed it, but she couldn't think of anything worse than having to answer to Gemma and Clay every single day.

Well, more than what she already was, anyway.

"Who'd 'a thought that being a hairdresser was so demanding?"

"Me, apparently." She joked, watching Tig get up and leave the room.

It'd turned somber. A little too bleak for her liking, but she guessed that everyone felt a bit awkward after Tara stamped out and Jax sat on his porch. Alone. With a bottle of whiskey.

She hated the hold that woman had over him sometimes. The way he was so fucking devoted to Tara Knowles that she could literally slap him, scream in his face, and ruin his son's homecoming party--and he would still pine for her.

She'd never understand that.

And she didn't understand how such a lively bunch of individuals had mellowed out over the course of two hours, either.

The party had disappeared. Dissipated into nothing and the atmosphere she once lauded was completely dead in the water.

It was fucking grim, and she couldn't wait to head home.

"Can I come with you tonight?"

"Why'd you even ask? Y'know you're welcome to come home with your old man whenever you want." Chibs told her a little bit stern, though it was essentially full of love.

She just smiled up at him, a bit buzzed. But she was having a good-ish time and who was he to chastise her for drinking a little too much tonight?

"Wanna head off now?"

"Yeah--lemme just say 'bye' to Gemma."

"Alright, I'll be out front. Don't forget your purse." He reminded, knowing she was too ditsy for her own good.

Chibs helped her to her feet, letting go of her hand only to part ways for a few moments.

Her mood was perking up, now. The prospect of being able to spend a few hours with her dad after a long fucking day, was just the best.

And she'd really missed him. Missed the time they once had an abundance of. Missed the evenings that they'd spend talking, drinking, watching movies, doing the generic father daughter activities.

They hadn't had that for a while, and it was truly a blessing that it was within reach tonight.

Well. It was within reach for all of five minutes.

"Oh my God--" Gemma's cell slipped from between black nails and bounced across the table. Saturated hues were locked on Isla, and her head shook.

"What?"

"There's--there's been an accident." She managed to muster out. "Or, maybe a drive-by, I don't know, but Donna--"

"Donna?" Piney's attention was snatched at the mention of his daughter-in-law. He stood up. "What about her?"

Isla knew the answer. She knew what Gemma was going to say because it was just the usual now, wasn't it?

Being affiliated with SAMCRO just did that to somebody. Man, woman, child. They didn't fucking care.

"She's--Piney, she's dead."

[crimsonbubble]

Pairing: Nerd!Hongjoong x Cheerleader!Reader

Genre: Smut (with a touch of angst [only at the beginning])

Warnings: bullying, mentions of self harm and vague mentions of death, degradation, oral (f receiving), hair pulling, slight exhibitionism, overstimulation, doggystyle

PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHILE READING!!

"Look at that, the nerd thinks he's tough. You say that you've never failed anything. But how come you're still breathing right now, huh? Did your attempt at leaving, fail?"

The words suck in, like a knife in warm butter. Tears slowly pricked his eyes, as his breathing sped up bit by bit.

He turns on his heel and walks away, trying to hold it together until he got to the bathroom. The sounds of their laughter blurs, like the tears do to his eyes.

He reaches out and pushes the door open. He rushes to the closest stall, and the tears fall. His cries are muffled as he leans against he stall door.

Within minutes, the bell rings and he hurriedly wipes his tears. He walks out of the stall and peers in the mirror, grimacing at his appearance.

His eyes are puffy and bloodshot and his nose is tinted pink and runny. He runs the water and scoops water into his hands. He splashes his face with the cold water a few times and he dabs his face with his hoodie sleeves.

He lets out a shaky breath and reluctantly grabs his bag and walks to class. The walk is short as his class is diagonal from the washrooms.

He hurried in and takes his seat. He runs his hands over his thighs, letting out a short breath.

Hongjoong's first class flies by the tick of the clock. He hastily put away his things into his bag, slung it over his shoulder and scurried out to his next class.

'Maybe if I can get there quick enough, they won't stop me today.'

Or so he thought. He yelps when someone grabs onto his hood, pulling him back. He lets out a choked breath and turns around.

"Huh, so you are the guy my boyfriend's been messing with."

You say as you flick his forehead, laughing at his pained expression.

"God, what do you want from me?"

He asked already tired of your actions. Abruptly, a harsh punch is then, sending Hongjoong to the ground. Everyone that was gathered around gasped in utter shock when your boyfriend launched a punch at him.

"What the fuck- Babe, we agreed no aggressive hits!"

You push at his chest. Said boy, grumbles and walks off, his little friend group following after him.

He looks at you, in fear of what may come next. You look down at him, and let out a sigh, covering your face with a hand.

"Listen, I'm sorry about that. I don't know why he hit you, even after we agreed about no aggression. I apologize on his behalf, but for now, just get to class okay?"

Your voice is slightly shaky and agitated. You give Hongjoong one last glance before dispersing the crowd and walking back to find your so called boyfriend.

Hongjoong gets up, and walks to his class, wondering why your voice sounded so breathy; scared almost. The thought of you stayed in the back on his mind, as he worked. His hands scribble notes on his paper as he looks at his phone, wishing that it was lunch already.

The lunch bell rings, as he's deep in thought, staring at his notebook. He jumps slightly and packs up his supplies, brushing the thought of the incident from earlier to the corner of his mind.

"Hey, Hongjoong wait."

Your voice stops him in his tracks. He turns around and his eyes give away that he's scared.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. But my boyfriend will, so come with me."

You take his hand and pull him towards the female change rooms. His eyes widen as he tries to get your grip to loosen.

"Just come with me ok? I cancelled practise, so no one is there. The other guys aren't allowed in here, because of the incident from last year."

His face burns as he recalls the memory. A member of the football team was caught having sex with a cheerleader from the rivaling school. So they implemented an ID unit. Only a person of that gender can get into the change room.

But students have found a way to chest the system. Just hold the door open, and let the other in. It's simple enough that no one, other than the students have figured it out.

Your grip loosens on his wrist as you catch your breath from the run.

"Look, Hongjoong. I'm so so sorry for every he's put you through. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Then why did you?"

He says as he shoves his hands into his pockets. He looks at you with a saddened expression.

"He... forced me too. He forced me to bully, tease, make fun of everyone he does. I never wanted to."

Your expression mirrored Hongjoong's when you turn away from him before continuing.

"If you don't trust me, I get it. I just wanted to warn you before it got worse."

He looks at your shaking figure. His eyes trail over the faint bruises on your legs and arms. But he doesn't dwell on them too hard. You're a cheerleader after all, you're bound to get hurt one way or another, right?

"What can I do to change your mind?"

His voice is hushed as he takes a tentative step towards her. She turns around. She looks at him in confusion.

"To change your mind about me? What do I have to do, to get you to like me as a person?"

Her expression softens and she strides to hug him. She loops her arms around is neck, laying her head against his chest. He hesitantly, wraps his arms around your trembling figure.

"I already do like you as a person. You've never down anything to me, for me to hate you. In fact, I don't really love him."

The last statement that leaves your lips, sends a warning signal to his brain. He stutters out a response.

"You don't... love him? Then why are you still with him?"

She laughs sarcastically.

"Because everytime I try and talk to him, he either changes the subject or ignores me. Besides I already know he's cheating on my with one of the other cheer girls."

Your tone is sharp as you pull back and look into Hongjoong's eyes. His eyes look into yours, taking quick glances at your soft looking lips. His nerves make him freeze on the spot, but you notice his fluttering eyes and decide to make your move.

His lips mold with yours. He tastes sweet, like berries and honey. His hands grip your waist, thumb caressing the exposed skin.

"Hongjoong please, I need you to fuck me."

He freezes, then smirks, kissing down your neck. His lips cause goosebumps to rise against your skin. Your moans are light and airy as you tangle your hands in his hair.

His tongue traces over your collarbones, teeth playfully nipping at your skin.

"H-hongjoong- bench."

His eyes flicker to the left, hands gripping your thighs. He quickly strides over to the bench, laying your down. His eyes peer into yours, as his fingers grip onto your crop top. You feverishly nod and tug your skirt up, revealing your soaked panties.

"Fuck baby, so wet all for me."

His fingers trail over your slit, rubbing circles into your clit. Your moans are broken as your back arched off the bench. He hurriedly pulls your panties down you legs, licking his lips at the sight of your dripping cunt.

Hongjoong's mouth leaves kisses along your inner thighs, before his tongue delves into your hole. You cry out and shake, when Hongjoong's fingers work your clit.

He pulls away, and kisses up your body, a quick hand coming to unhook your bra. His free hand pinches and rolls one of your nipples, while his warm mouth suckled on the other. Your lips are red and swollen from how hard your biting them. Your whines are sweet as Hongjoong kisses you, drinking in your sounds.

"Such a dirty whore for me, huh? Look at how wet you are, precious."

His words of filth, send shockwaves throughout your body. He chuckles when your cunt clenches around nothing.

"Are you that needy from me, baby? Clenching around nothing."

A beautiful shade of red, settles on your cheeks. Crying out with Hongjoong's fingers push into your slutty hole.

His fingers drag deliciously against your walls, sending you into a moaning frenzy. But you're too caught up in the feeling of his fingers, to realize when he tugged his jeans down, revealing his hard length.

"Think you can handle my cock?"

You're eyes flutter open and widen in shock at you gawk at his size. You moan out subconsciously, clenching down onto his fingers, while staring at his leaking tip.

"Fuck, please Hongjoong. Want your cock, please fuck me."

Your needy cries send a shiver down Hongjoong's spine. He pulls his fingers out and licks them clean, holding eye contact with you.

Your cheeks feel incredibly hot as you see the way his tongue traces over his fingers.

In a flash, he has you on your stomach, ass in the air.

"Look at you precious. I've barely done anything and you're already a mess for me. Such a needy little whore."

You whine and wiggle your hips, enticing him to push my cock into you.

His hands grip your hips, pushing his cock into you. He bottoms out in a single thrust, barely giving you any time to adjust to his length.

"What would your little boyfriend say about this, baby? What would he think about girlfriend being a little whore for the nerd he's supposed to be bullying?"

"F-fuck, Hongjoong there!"

Your cries are loud as Hongjoong's hips slam into yours. Your hands claw at the bench as you push back against his cock.

"Such a little whore. So good for me."

Hongjoong's hand finds its way into your hair, pulling you up against his chest. His hips ram into yours in a brutal pace.

His leaking tip brushes against your g-spot with each angled thrust. You're finding it increasingly harder to keep your sounds at bay.

His cock is hitting places that you never knew existed. Your own drool spills past your lips and down your chin.

"Aww, am I fucking you so good that I have you drooling? God baby, you're such a pretty mess."

His pace quickens and you feel your own orgasm bubble up. Hongjoong slips a hand down your body and has his fingers circle your clit. Your body writhes and shakes against him, too sore and tried to warn him. Your sopping cunt, clenches down onto him. His breathing is laboured as he fucks into you, helping you ride about your high while chasing his. His fingers, continue their ministrations as you shake and whine against him. Your back arches, pushing your chest into the humid air of the change room.

"Come on darling, I know you can give me another one. Let it out. Come on my cock again."

Hongjoong's voice is raspy as he fucks into you Impossibly quick. His other hand gropes your breast, pinching your nipple. Your hips grind back against Hongjoong's. Your moans freely falling from your parted lips.

Your body would've curled in on itself, if Hongjoong wasn't gripping it. Your pussy clenches onto his cock, your orgasm hitting you like a truck.

You scream in pleasure, gripping Hongjoong's wrist to ground yourself. His hips stutter and his groans get more frequent.

"Fuck, if you keep clenching like that, I'm gonna cum."

With your teasing brat nature, you clench down onto him again, moaning when he fills you with his cum.

His hips slow down before coming a complete stop. His breathing is harsh against your ear, moaning lightly when he pulls out.

Both of you lay there panting and basking in your release. You were the first one to speak up.

"Don't worry about getting back to class, just stay here with me and rest for a bit."

"But what about-"

"Don't worry, the doors are locked, no one can get in. And besides, this allows us to really talk."

Hongjoong looks at you in surprise before smiling sweetly.

"How about this? We'll stay here, until after the final bell. Then I'll take you to my favorite café and we can talk over a drink and a pastry? But I have to have a quick chat with someone before we can go. Is that alright?"

"Sounds good, I'll be waiting."

[miss-smutty]

The Destructive Secret - Chapter 2

A/N- I'm still so excited for this series! I love writing angst, so this is perfect for me. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. Please let me know your thoughts, I've left it on a cliff hanger but I promise in the next chapter you will find out who is who. 💛

Summary- You've got a secret to hide and it's going to cause complete and utter destruction.

Word count- 2742

Warnings- Mature themes, swearing, smut, angst, deceit, lies

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

18+ Only!

Taglist-: @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @mostly-marvel-musings

Posted- 16th May 2021

Part 1

Watching the steady rise and fall of your boyfriend's chest as he sleeps, the sound of his heavy breath filling the deathly silent room. Counting every time you see him inhale and exhale... Sixty... Sixty-one... Sixty-two. Trying, desperately to make yourself fall into the heaven of slumber, where your thoughts can't follow you like a stalker in the night.

No such luck - You were wide awake, rolling onto your back with a huff. Jealous of your boyfriend beside you, no worries or guilt to keep him awake at night. Of course it was your own fault, no one to blame here but yourself. You'd allowed this to go on, allowed it to consume you and eat away at you for almost a year. You could've avoided it all if you weren't so weak and selfish, giving in to your own personal needs and not thinking about anybody else. The amount of people that are going to pay the price make your stomach turn - there's no way of escaping it.

Bile rises in your throat, burning its way up your oesophagus like a fireball. You swallow it back down, the taste lingering in your mouth making you feel even more nauseous. Coming to terms with the fact sleep wasn't going to happen you swing your legs over the side of the bed slowly. Looking back to make sure you didn't wake him and seeing him still lost in the land of nod.

You tiptoe out of the room, bending down to fish your phone from the pocket of your discarded shirt as you went. Memories of your steamy love making replaying in your mind. 

- Why are you not answering me?

- Please answer the phone, just go to the bathroom or something.

- Are you fucking? You're fucking him aren't you, I can't handle this.

- Please answer the goddam phone.

Ah fuck. The last message was sent thirty minutes ago, he's still awake, of course he is. He's just as much to blame as you, he's got just as much to lose as you and he feels just as much guilt as you - enough to keep him awake at night too. Well that and the thought of you fucking someone else but let's not think about that right now.

You turn the kitchen sink, tap on - trying to muffle the sound of your voice so your boyfriend can't hear while you press call.

"Fuck, finally" he answers on the second ring, the anger in his voice more than apparent.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't get away" you apologise, ignoring the pangs you feel just from hearing his voice.

"Yeah -" you hear him take a deep breathe before he continues " - You were fucking weren't you?" His voice was oozing with resentment, you hate that it's come to this.

"I mean you don't really want me to answer that, do you?" You whisper, looking down at your hands imagining the hurt on his face.

"Fuck... - " You were both silent for a painfully long time before he finally spoke up. " - I think you've already answered it." The hurt in his voice broke your heart. You wish you could take his pain away.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I fucking hate this but you know the situation." Your voice was becoming shaky, filled with tears.

"I know -" another deep sigh " - Will you come meet me now? Even if it's just for two minutes, I need to see you." The desperateness in his voice makes your stomach flip, you need to see him too but you know you shouldn't.

"I can't. Baby, you know I can't. What if he wakes up?" 

"I don't fucking care, he's had you all night" He spat, the venomousness in his voice making you close your eyes and whince. 

"Don't talk like that, please" 

"I need to feel you Y/N please, I've been sat thinking about you in bed with him all night and I can't stand it. I just need to see you. I need to see that look in your eye, that thing that happens when we touch. I need it, it makes it all worth it. Please..." He pleads, the sincerity in his voice is pulling you apart. How can you say no to that? 

"I'll come to yours but I can't stay long" The rush of adrenaline you feel when you give in, makes you feel light headed. It should be a rush, it should make you excited but it's the opposite. 

"Thank you." The deep sigh in his voice is full of relief.

You check in to make sure he's still sleeping before you set off, thinking of the excuses you can use if he does wake up while your gone. He's still fast asleep, you know he can sleep through a tornado so you shouldn't have any problems but still, you take one last lingering look at him. The innocence on his face as he sleeps, unaware of the things going on around him that will tear his world apart if he found out. Fuck sake. You hang your head back, looking at the ceiling, doubting yourself.

You have to do it, you can't let him down as well, not after you heard the need in his voice, the way it cut deep like a knife to the heart.

                               ****************

As soon as you knock on the door he's already pulling you into the house by your hand, his lips on yours instantly.

"I've missed you so much." He breathes against your neck, planting kisses sloppily on the skin. Wrapping his arms tightly around you, savouring every last moment before he knows you'll have to leave again.

"I've missed you too - " You sigh, fighting back the tears. " - I can't stay long" 

"Please can we just pretend like you don't have to rush off for just a minute, can we just pretend you're all mine." His words sting, they hang heavy with a deep neediness. The way his hands cling to your body, kneeding your hips with the softness of his fingertips, makes your body tingle. 

"I want you so bad" he says through gritted teeth, his eyes screwed shut while he rests his forehead to yours. You can feel how much he wants you by the buldge in his pants, pushing against your stomach as he holds himself tightly against you. 

"I want you so fucking bad" The lust in his voice makes you feel weak, hard to resist. You've always been weak for him which is why you're in this predicament in the first place. 

"I want you too - " Your breath quickening as he fumbles under your dress. " - But..." 

"Please don't say but - " You're both panting with adrenaline now " - I'll be quick" he finishes, leaning back to unzip his jeans. Looking down to scramble with the zip as fast as he can. "Fuck" 

You can't help but whine when he finally pulls his dick out, desperate to feel it inside of you. He wastes no time in picking you up with one arm and pressing your back against the wall, moving your panties to the side and easing his cock straight in.

The way his cock fills you up so perfectly, you're in ecstasy but it's doesn't last long. There's no pleasantries, no romance just a quick dirty fuck. A need for him to get his end away, to feel you wrapped around his cock. He's selfish with it, a couple of pumps and he's already coming. You wish you hadn't rushed him now, it's made you feel used and dirty.

"Fuck, I love you Y/N."He says breathlessly against your chest, feeling satisfied.

"I need to go." You say harshly, unable to hide the hurt and anger in your voice. 

This has never happened before, you usually feel the love oozing from him, the deep connection you have. It's the reason it's been going on for so long, you know he loves you, you can feel it. When you're together it feels right - usually - it doesn't feel like a betrayal, you're in love. Now you feel a deep shame, this feels like betrayal, like a cheap whore in a dirty motel. You didn't feel his love, he used you for his own selfish satisfaction

"Wait - " he grabs you by your arm as you turn around, hiding your face from him. "What's wrong? Are you crying?" You're pulling against him, desperate to leave. "Fuck, Y/N. Look at me" 

You turn around to look at him, tears silently falling down your cheeks involuntarily. 

"You were selfish, you couldn't stand that i fucked him, you know, my boyfriend -" He whinced like you'd just slapped him in the face " - So you had to get your end away too, you... You. Used me" The tears fell silently from your eyes, a look of pain on etched onto your face. All the emotions consuming you all at once, not just this, but everything. Everything that's happened in the last couple of years finally being released all at once. You know you were taking your anger out on him, the only person you could take your anger out on and now you were feeling guilty again. You needed to get out of here, you needed to be alone, to not feel pulled apart between two people.

He rubs his hand down his face, closing his eyes tightly, realising how much he's fucked up.

"Y/N it's not like that at all, I'm so sorry. I can't believe that's how you feel - " he moves towards you, gently cupping your face " - Fuck - " he thinks for a minute " - I was selfish wasn't I, I knew you had to rush off and I... I needed to feel you" 

"That doesn't mean all romance needs to go out the window" You say softly, looking down at your feet, anywhere but into his eyes. 

"No. No it doesn't... Shit Y/N I'm sorry, that will never happen again" 

"I have to go" You say, turning to leave.

"Please don't leave being angry with me, come here." You stop with your hand on the door handle, turning slowly to look at him, tears still falling.

He tenderly holds your face in his hands, looking into your eyes, searching your face. 

"Shit Y/N I fucking love you, I'd never purposefully hurt you." He says bleakly. 

Your eyes soften as you hear the sincerity in his voice and see the love in his eyes. He reaches down to kiss you, softly and tenderly, full of his love.

"I love you too but I can't carry on doing this for much longer, it's tearing me apart" You say with your eyes still closed.

"What are you saying?" He looks worried.

"We'll talk about it Friday." you say finally turning to leave.

"Wait a minute, you can't just say something like that and then leave." He catches you by your hand again, brushing his thumb softly over your palm.

"I have to go, I've been gone too long. I promise we'll talk about it Friday." You murmur, giving him a apologetic look.

"Fuck." He lets go of your hand, brushing his hand through his hair wearily and watches you leave helplessly.

You sit in your car for a while, thinking, you're in no state to go home. You'd have no way of explaining why you were in such a terrible mood. You could text and tell him you couldn't sleep and you've gone for a coffee before heading into work early to catch up on your deadlines. That could work and it would give you plenty of time to think before actually going into work but you'd have to sneak home first and get clothes and just hope you don't get caught.

All this sneaking about is exhausting and you were serious when you said you couldn't do it for much longer. You wanted a life even if it meant a life without either of them in it. You loved them both dearly and didn't want to lose either of them but being realistic - you can't keep this up.

There's going to be one hell of a shit storm when it all comes out, especially when the tabloids find out about it. Which there's no doubt that they will, they find out everything, another reason for it to be out in the open. Imagine if he found out that way, it would break him even more.

                             *****************

Later that night you stand in front of your front door, getting ready to put on the mask of happiness before you have to face your boyfriend. Faking a smile you walk into the kitchen - there's no smells of delicious food today but there is flowers, beautiful pink lily's. You sniff their amazing scent, ignoring the pangs of guilt once again.

"Hey, I'm home!" You shout, waiting to hear his voice.

"Hi babe, how was work?" He says coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Oh you know, the usual. What about you? Have you had a good day?" You ask turning around in his arms, leaning on the kitchen counter.

"I've been reading through this script, amazing... Do you like them?" He gestures his head towards the flowers, his face buried in the papers he's holding.

"Oh they're amazing baby, thank you -" You kiss him softly on the lips. " - What's the script about?"  

"It's an action movie, sounds a lot different to anything I've done before. You should read it, I think you'll like it." 

"That sounds awesome babe, you should take it" You say excitedly, you love the way his face lights up when he talks about acting. Planting kisses softly on your lips, chin and then down your neck.

"What we doing for dinner?" You murmur.

"Take-out? - " He says in-between kisses, unbuttoning your top buttons while he makes his way down to your chest " - Maybe dessert first?" He stops to cock his eyebrow at you questioningly.

"Mmm" you agree, your head still hanging back loosely. Taking the lead he finishes unbuttoning your shirt, caressing and kissing your breasts tenderly. You can't help thinking about this morning, about how differently you feel now than you did then.

He lifts you up on to the counter, pushing your skirt up and pulling your panties off. You still can't stop thinking about leaving him in the lurch like that, the way his face looked as you walked out of the door.

Unzipping his jeans brings back another memory, no time to think as he kisses you making you forget for just a minute. Holding on to your hips affectionately as he trys to ease himself in, you're not wet enough - too distracted. Fuck! You try to wipe away your thoughts and focus on the moment, concentrating on watching him instead of being inside your brain.

You gasp as he pushes his fingers inside of you, loosening you up, kissing your neck at the same time. Those long fingers can reach your spot perfectly, you feel sick when you think about how similar they are. Definitely not something you should be thinking about - it's wrong on all levels.

Curling his fingers around and stroking your spot, biting his lip as he looks at you. You notice him furrowing his brow, he knows something is different, you're struggling to hide it.

Finally easing himself into your opening, it feels amazing, tightening around his cock. You lean backwards on your hands watching him, so why can't you stop thinking about him.

He searches your face, he's concerned, you're not in the moment.

"Are you ok? Do you want me to stop?" He asks worried.

"No, god no" You really didn't want him to stop, you were just completely distracted, it still felt amazing you were just dwelling in your guilt.

You can see he's nearly ready, you knew you weren't in the right place to finish. You could enjoy it and still not finish right?

oh shit, you're going to have to fake it. For the first time in your whole life you're going to have to fake a orgasm with the love of your life, the guy you thought was your everything. That was until you met his Brother.

[euphoricdumpsterfire]

It Was Enchanting To Meet You (Edmund Pevensie x Mutant!FemReader)

Chapter III: Prophecy

Summary: Peter explains the prophecy. Y/N and Edmund start to get to know each other more.

Masterlist

Word Count: 1644

Warnings: Mentions of possible war, Creepy suitors

A/N: Due to amount of school work that I have, this might be the only chapter I upload this week. But I will try to upload two chapters next week, I'm really sorry luvs.

“Who?” Susan asked,

“I think you’re quite mistaken dear, I’m no professor.” Mr. Tumnus said,

Embarrassed by her little outburst, Y/N said, “I’m sorry, it’s just you have an uncanny resemblance to my professor in my world.”

“Your world?” Mr. Tumnus raised an eyebrow,

“It’s a long story, but we think she may be the young witch of the prophecy.” Peter said and Mr. Tumnus’ kind mellow face instantly changed into a surprised one.

“You must all come in, we shall talk about this over tea.” Mr. Tumnus said and let the five of them inside. They all sat down on the small dining table as Mr. Tumnus went by his stove to heat up the kettle. “Oh no, I believe I've run out of firewood” he said.

Y/N turned around and said, “Ooh I got it!” and with a flick of her fingers, the kettle starts to make a loud noise as the water boiled at its highest temperature. She turns back to the rest of them as they look at her with pure amazement.

"Where have you been all our lives?!" Lucy exclaimed and the place was filled with laughter. After preparing the tea, Mr. Tumnus sets the teapot on the table along with sugar cubes and milk, as well as an array of biscuits and turkish delights. Edmund got a hold of the plate of turkish delights and immediately started munching on it as Peter took out a huge scroll of paper from his satchel.

“Do you just carry that around with you?” Y/N asked,

“He actually does.” Edmund replied as he continued to eat turkish delights, Peter smacks his hand making the small piece of turkish delight fall off of his fingers down to the floor. "Hey!" Edmund yelled,

"Will you stop eating, I'm about to tell you the prophecy!" Peter commanded,

"Well I'm not the one with powers am i?" Edmund replied, earning him another smack but on the back of his head and the other girls giggled and Mr. Tumnus let out a light hearted laugh.

Peter cleared his throat and started to read what was on the scroll,

“A young witch shall emerge from the forest of Narnia then followed by the rise of the white witch with her endless winter once again. But the young witch shall put a forebear to the bitter cold weather and bring the white witch’s demise.”

"That's it?" Y/N asked and Peter nodded,

"Were you expecting more?" Susan asked,

"I mean the paper was so huge, I assumed there'd be a lot of writing on it..." Y/N said,

"Peter probably wrote down huge letters when Aslan told him to write down the prophecy." Edmund teased and right when Peter was about to give him a third smack, he immediately dodged it which ended up in a silly tickle fight. "Hey stop that!" Edmund yelled, his voice at a higher octave. Y/N chuckles, catching Edmund's attention, he clears his throat and repeats what he had just said but in a more lower tone, "Stop it, I said." Peter eventually gave up and they all sat down to talk about the prophecy.

"We don't know when, but the White Witch will surely come back now that Y/N's here." Peter said,

"Then what should I do?" Y/N asked,

"For now, you should stay at the castle. I will gather more people for an army in case it gets bloody." Peter replied and everyone's mood turned gloomy with the mention of the words army and bloody. It had been years since their last battle and they were successful, however they cannot deny how scary it was to go to war at such a young age.

"You don't really have to gather an army. This fight is between Y/N and the Jadis just like you said, the others shouldn't be involved besides us." Susan said,

"I know that, but I'm just taking extra precautions." Peter replied,

"Taking extra precautions or are you underestimating Y/N's capability of defeating Jadis?" Susan snapped and the air in the room felt uneasy. Peter did not reply but only stared at his sister and she looked back with a stone cold glare.

"Now, now, let's not argue. Let's just put out a vote shall we?" Mr. Tumnus suggested,

"I agree with Susan, I don't want to risk the lives of Narnians and I really do think Y/N can defeat Jadis..." Lucy said.

Everyone's eyes fell on Edmund, waiting for him to respond. "What? Oh. Well... A-as much as I think that Y/N can take down the White Witch, I just think we should gather more troops. As back up." Edmund said.

Susan rolled her eyes and looked at Y/N, "What do you think Y/N?"

Y/N didn't exactly know how to respond. She had only been in Narnia for a few hours, she may have seen a good portion of the whole kingdom, however she doesn't exactly know what was really going on. "Look, I'm fairly new to this thing and I'm not really sure how it's gonna go..." She looked at Susan with worried eyes and she understood where she was going. Though disappointed, Susan simply nodded, "I think it's better if King Peter gathered more troops." Y/N said.

"Then it's settled, I'll be leaving by sunset." Peter said,

"Right away?" Lucy asked,

"We don't really know when the White Witch will come back, and it's better to be prepared before it's too late," Peter stood up, "Thank you for the wonderful tea Mr. Tumnus, but we must head back to the castle now." Peter said.

"No worries, I'm always here if you need any help." Mr. Tumnus said, then he turned to Y/N and gave a nod as if that last bit was meant for her. Y/N smiled and nodded as well, eventually the five of them left Mr. Tumnus' cave and arrived at the castle.

– – – –

Back at the castle, Susan and Lucy were bombarded with letters from suitors. With the help of Y/N, they sat in the library writing several replies most of which are rejections. One letter was for Susan, it was from a King from a kingdom that was quite awfully far from Narnia. The letter was very poetic, Susan thought, until she realized the King was almost forty years older than her. At one point the letter got a little too inappropriate and the girls decided it wasn't even worth replying to a rejection to. Susan asked one of the maids to burn it and make sure that the King who wrote it would never send a letter again.

Eventually, Y/N grew tired of writing. "Thank you for your help, but I think Lucy and I can finish up this last one and you can go ahead and rest." Susan smiled and Y/N put the letter on top of the towering stack of letters and walked out of the library. She walked through the hallways and decided to wander around until she saw an open balcony. She went out only to be startled by Edmund who had been standing on the edge of the balcony.

"I'm sorry, I'll just go back." Y/N said making her way out,

"Wait! You can stay..." Edmund said, making Y/N awkwardly turn around and stand next to him. "So how are you liking Narnia so far?" He asked.

"It's great! The place is great, your people are great, and the way you guys rule the kingdom seems far more better than what I've seen in my world. I mean, I could actually see myself living here." Y/N replied,

"Really?" Edmund's eyes sparkled at the thought of having Y/N in Narnia for the rest of eternity, Y/N hummed in agreement. There was a moment of comfortable silence until Edmund spoke up again, "You seem to be having a lot of fun with my sisters."

"They're very lovely." Y/N replied,

"What about Peter? I suppose you think he’s the most charming king.” Edmund said in a mocking tone,

"Actually it’s quite the opposite. The first time I met him he questioned where my allegiance lies," Y/N chuckled then looked around, "He's pretty intimidating." She whispered.

"Well he does try to act intimidating but deep down inside he’s a little softy," Edmund said, "But don't tell him I said that." He said mimicking the way Y/N whispered earlier making her giggle.

“Well what about you, your highness? What’s there to know about you? Besides your love of turkish delights.” Y/N teased,

"Well, I'm actually a great swordsman if I do say so myself." Edmund said proudly,

"Ah, I also have some experience with fencing. I took classes and even briefly joined a team." Y/N said,

"Then you'll have to show me your skills sometime." Edmund replied,

"Is that an invitation for a duel?" Y/N playfully raised an eyebrow,

"Perhaps." Edmund smirked and they both laughed. However, the laughter was short lived when Peter made his presence known by loudly clearing up his throat. They both turned around to see him with both arms folded.

"Edmund, I need your help with something. Will you come with me to the weapon room?" Peter said and Edmund nodded. Before he could leave he turned to look at Y/N,

"You're still up for that duel?" He asked with a smile,

"Of course your highness, just let me know when." Y/N answered smiling back.

"You do know you can just call me Edmund, or Ed." Edmund said,

"Come on Ed!" Peter said dragging Edmund away before Y/N could even reply to him.

"Right..." Y/N said, "Edmund." She smiled to herself as the sound of his name gave her butterflies in her stomach.

[min-chery]

Sing me to sleep | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook / Named OC

Warnings: Side-character death / mention of suicide / arson / nightmares / description of burn injuries

A/N: This one doesn’t have a synopsis hehe. It was inspired that one scene from the Fake Love mv. Also, this one is written in Jungkook’s POV. Enjoy~~

Word count: 1.47k

I watch the steady rise and fall of her chest as the air gets drawn into her lungs in her state of sleep. A peaceful silence engulfs us save for the sounds of our mingling breaths.

My Mika, so strong in the day as she fights off her demons, now looks so vulnerable under the moonlight that shone. Like a baby, so pure and so fragile, born into the cruelty of the world.

She lies in my bed, looking as if she belonged among the still life that surrounded us. Had it not been the movement of her chest, one would have assumed she was dead.

She does not hold me in her slumber. Doesn't seek out for my comfort, even if she deep down knows she craves for it.

The stillness is so comforting that I don't feel myself falling into a slumber. But it feels as if someone pushed me into a comfortable darkness. The kind that I would never be able to escape, but I would never wish to leave either.

Frantic hands that relentlessly tug at my t-shirt yank me up from sleep. The sound of pained ragged breaths being drawn in sends my mind into a state of frenzy.

My hands hastily look through the dark for the remote that controls the air conditioner. And when it finally gets caught, I lower the temperature, sending a rush of cool air through the machine.

Mika's pleading eyes look at me, tears of frustration willing up at the corners. I see the wiggling of her toes, something I've discovered she does because she's afraid all the fear will paralyze her. Will cripple her of her physical abilities.

"Get it off, koo." She whispers helplessly. As if a task as small as getting rid of the blanket from over her body seems like a tedious job.

I free her of the layers, including the pajama shirt that stuck to her upper body like second skin from the sweat. I take her into my arms and pull her onto my lap, holding her in a loose embrace.

One hand goes into her hair, my fingernails lightly scraping at the scalp as a form of stress relief. The other holds her against my chest, right above the heart that beats painfully fast, just for her.

"It burns." She whimpers, her hands extended out towards the side.

My eyes fall on the vicious marks that marred her right arm. Starting from the back of her palm right until her elbow. The day of the incident flashes in my mind as if it had happened only yesterday.

The images of her burnt hand, the smell of her skin being toasted and crumpled from the fire that night fill me up.

I would forever hate Yoongi hyung for what he had done. Did he hate life that much to set a building on fire with himself and his girlfriend inside? Was he so hurt and angry with life to forget he held the very love of his life in the same room?

Did he, for even a second, think about us? His friends who'd been there for him at all walks of life? Me, his stepbrother, who loved him so much even if we never said it out loud?

I don't realize my fingers are roving over the damaged skin until a quiet hiss leaves Mika. The skin isn't supposed to burn anymore. Not when it's already been three years since it took its birth.

It's then I realize her mind is playing games with her. Her conscience is still hazy from the nightmare.

"How about we apply some lotion on it?" I ask her, my voice very low and gentle. I see her eyes blink slow, taking in the words I just muttered. And then she gives me a single nod.

The lotion will be cool on the skin, tricking her mind into thinking it works on the burn.

I lift myself up from our bed with my girl in my arms. Her ankles lock themselves at the base of my spine, holding herself up as we walk towards the bathroom. I set her down on the counter and open the cabinet right next to where she sits.

She lets me stand between her thighs, her legs not once removing themselves from around my torso as I pull out her favorite rose-scented lotion.

"Shall I?" I ask and she nods, giving me her hand. I know it takes her a lot to do that. The insecurities of letting someone take closer looks and touch the skin seemed to have never left her.

I smear the pale pink lotion onto her hand, rubbing it in gently with small circular motions.

I think of the night before Yoongi's death. The then weird conversation we had. He kept asking me to take care of Mika knowing very well that I loved her at the time too.

"You're not going anywhere. Why do you want me to take care of her? It's your job as the boyfriend." I had scoffed at the time. It had felt as if he was trying to rub the fact he was her boyfriend right in my face.

"I won't be here for long." he had simply stated. I was confused. All I remember afterward is overlapping voices, shouting. Me shouting at him. Him muttering 'sorry kookie' over and over again. I demanding to know what he meant.

When the very next night Mika phoned me, I knew something terrible had happened. She sobbed from the other line, pleading with me to save her and Yoongi.

I ran to his house, calling our friends to help me with whatever it was were going to be met with. His house was intact but the thick smoke coming out the window of his room had been really scary. Namjoon had yelled at us to look for fire extinguishers. Anything that would help put out a fire.

When I ran into the room, all I could see was the figure that sat on the chair. Yoongi let the fire engulf him, set him to ashes along with his mother's favorite chair. Mika was petrified, looking at him as if she wanted to save him. But she couldn't move a muscle. Couldn't feel the fire move across towards her arm.

If it hadn't been for Taehyung knocking her over and out of the room, she would've gone down in ashes too. Maybe she had wished for it to take her with Yoongi too.

I had tried so hard to pull Yoongi out of the fire. I did my best. My fate really did have other ideas. He breathed his last in my and Mika's arms.

Endless therapy sessions were all we had after that. Slowly pulling our lives back together after he left us.

Somewhere along the way, Mika started falling for me. I was beyond ecstatic. We moved in together after two years. Though life wasn't the same without him, we knew we would be fine. Because we had each other.

There still are moments she hesitates telling me she loves me. She was worried she was hurting Yoongi every time she said the words. But I know she is trying every day to be better.

"Koo." she calls for me and I hum.

"You know I love you, right?" she looks at me with trembling, pouty lips. It makes it so hard to hold back now.

I pull her in by the back of her neck and kiss her. I let my lips answer the question that words couldn't. Of course I know she does. I see it in her eyes every time they fall on me. See her pupils dilate in her amber eyes.

"I know. I love you too." she smiles the brightest I've ever seen at this.

"Should we go back to sleep, baby?" she nods childishly, making me voice out a chuckle.

"Come on then." I say, before lifting her up once again.

Once we're all settled under the blankets, Mika looks up at me from where she lies over my chest.

"Do you want to wear your shirt back on?" She shakes her head a 'no'.

"What?" I ask her when I see that she's still staring at me.

"Sing me to sleep." I am surprised to hear her say that. She's never asked me to sing before and it makes my heart soar with happiness. All this time she had been secretly enjoying me sing around the house, even though she grumbled I was too noisy.

So I let my voice wash over her senses. Comfort her aching soul to sleep.

Her body loosens over mine, falling deeper and deeper into sleep. My heart synchronises itself to the rhythm of hers.

"I love you. More than you can ever imagine."

[emachinescat]

I've decided to watch MacGyver from the beginning (again), and I'm live tweeting the experience with every tweet tagged with #savemacgyver. I thought it would be fun to share my collected thoughts from the episodes on here as well.

My Thoughts on S1E1, "The Rising"

Good old Lake Como.

"How do I look?" Always amazing, Mac, though here you are so bebby. Gosh, tiny Lucas is tiny.

Ugggh, Nikki. My least favorite story arc in the show. Even with her redemption arc, even her face makes me mad.

I am soooo glad this awkward flirting is only in this episode. Mac and Nikki have never vibed with me.

JACK DALTON

"Who loves ya, baby?" We all do, Jack.

I always wished they would have played more into the original Mac's reason for not carrying a weapon - not just so he doesn't get caught but because he doesn't like them. That was actually one reason I used to be so upset at the reboot when it first came out. I still feel like Mac's character was off for this first episode - a little too cocky, not super developed. But still lovable, and with so much potential!

It's so cool to see how much Lucas has grown into this character over the years, really making it his own while still holding on to its essence.

Lol "serious bad-assery" - Nikki thinks she's so cool. (Spoiler: she's not.)

Lololol Nikki is the Walmart brand of Riley.

Mac in glasses. Adorbs.

Man, I'm already so ready for Matty. Patti is the off brand version of her.

I always love watching Mac rifle through stuff to find his improvisation supplies!

First MacSplaining session! Electromagnets!

"Is this George Clooney's house?" I miss Jack so freaking much.

Mac kind of looks like a penguin with that waiter outfit on and I'm living for it.

The second Mac hack is so Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew.

"Why don't you ever flirt with me like that?" Um, Jack, do you want your partner's girlfriend flirting with you, daddy fixation or not?

There are two kinds of oops, accordng to Jack Dalton: Oops - I just stubbed my toe / Ooooooops - Zombie apocalypse initiated.

Mac's hair is so shaggy.

"START THE DAMN BOAT!" Classic.

"Hold this and get out of my way." Dang, Mac.

The bad guy is the dude from Galavant hahaha. I know this guy has been in so many things, but he will always be Gareth to me. (That's his name, right? Gareth?)

W H U M P

I actually love the consistency of Mac always having that scar even seasons into the series (except for the last time, in the river). Overall great attention to detail!

That is a LOT of blood in the water.

Lol I'm pretty sure Grandpa Harry didn't say that in so many words, Mac.

Poor traumatized bebby. What am I saying? I live for this stuff.

Awww, lil Bozer. So smol. So pure. And now I want waffles.

"Eat your waffles." Three words I will never say no to.

"Give me Wang." -Bozer, 2016

Am I the only one who finds these intimate scenes between Mac and Nikki hella awkward?

QUARANTINE, sounds familiar.

Lol "cyberteam." Once Riley Davis comes along, they will be obsolete.

Jack just wants a hug.

I always hated the clinical white room in the pilot. Can't wait for the War Room.

I love the interactions between Jack and Riley.

Mac and Riley EYE CONTACT.

"You two are on timeout from now on." 😂😂😂

THE MOMENT WHERE HE GRABS HER HANDS

Lol, thanks for telling me that's a paperclip. I was so confused.

"Riley has so much hair!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love how Riley takes charge. Her confidence is 🔥🔥🔥

"You know what, never mind, I'd be pissed at you too." 🤣

Jack's so proud of his daughter. 💕

"Is that real?" Bless Jack's heart. He's such an old man.

Patti is a square. Pretty, competent, but boring. I miss Matty.

"My man never jokes about tin foil."

Ooooo Nikki is alive. Poor Mac. His whole world keeps getting turned on its head.

Jack can be scary when he wants to be.

Poor, poor, Mac. When he faces Nikki, he looks like a kicked golden retriever. (Also, NEVER kick a dog.)

I'm just eating up all this angst.

Mr. Wizard lololol

Mac hanging from a plane is soooo iconic.

"Don't get cocky. You're the only other one here." Haha, the SASS on this girl.

"Go ahead, you aready had me killed once." Also, oof. Undercover or not, Nikki is cold. I can't stand her.

Excuse me, Patricia, but I would consider running over your neighbor's dog (or any dog) a damn catastrophe, too.

"Sometimes a purge is necessary to fix what's broken." Codex, anyone?

Love this whole chase/fight sequence so much. The music, action, everything... perfect.

The sweat on Mac's forehead when dangling out of the 🚁 - such a great detail!

"YOU GO KABOOM, I GO KABOOM"

Kind of weird to me that Mac seems to be using so much guesswork with this bomb, especially when we know that he's one of the best specialists out there.

That fight scene in the back of the vehicle is one of my all time favorites. The whump is excellent.

Okay, but when does MacGyver ever do anything the way Jack has in mind?

DIY or die. Still so lame, lol. The parachute is awesome, though.

Oof. That landing looks painful and the whumper in me loves it. Even more, I can't get over how worried Jack is as he rushes to Mac's side. ❤️❤️❤️

That break in his voice when he asks if Mac's okay is just... AYSKTUFYIFUYliIIGUOG

Mac burning Nikki's pics like that old Taylor Swift song.

Bozer calling Jack his bestie is so weird and funny to me.

I am so ready for Bozer to get over Riley. They are so much better as friends.

Lol "Those fries won't cook themselves." The crack of a whip, man.

Jack calling Riley a little rascal and then gently asking Mac if he's doing all right there, pal ... taking care of his kids, and I am DYING.

The Three Amigos... come on, Jack. You can do better than that.

Is it bad that I'm actually a little surprised that Jack knows what a Phoenix is? Just seems like something he wouldn't care to learn, especially since he's a sci fi junkie but I never really hear him talk about fantasy.

Oooooooo Nikki's on the loose. Gotta end with suspense, to hook those viewers and make them want more. Well, I want more of this show, but not because of her.

Well, awesome re-watch of episode 1. Definitely not my favorite by a long shot, but so iconic and with some amazing moments! It just makes me that much more excited to get to see the show and the characters grow!

If anyone wants to join me in my re-watching and tweeting adventure, please do! It's my way to take about an hour a day in my busy, busy life to commit to the #savemacgyver movement. (And to enjoy my favorite show yet again!) If you do tweet as you watch, make sure to tag EVERY tweet with ONLY #savemacgyver so we can keep that hashtag trending! :)

Thanks for letting me share my (numerous) thoughts on this episode. This was really fun, and I hope it's something you all enjoy, too. I'll probably go ahead and post episode 2 tonight since I just watched it. I'd love to know what you all think of the episode in the comments! ❤️

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Seven: Way Down To Wonderland

(Image not mine)

Rated: PG

~Hey Alice, is it greener here Or does it seem like dirt? Does it feel the same, can you say that you Are happy to be home?

The rabbit seems to call your name You're late, so it's time to move Oh Alice, you know it's your fate Tick, tock. No time to lose

Hey Alice, time is running short This can't take too long Make a choice now. On which side of the door Do you feel you belong?~

Did I know it was a bad idea?

Yes. Yes, I did.

Did I do it anyway?

Yup.

Was I going to regret it?

Yeah, probably.

Did that thought stop me?

Absolutely not.

I was going with Jack. I was going to leave that freezing nothing-in-nowhere place behind me and I was going to be free. With the Winchesters protecting me, I would never have to be afraid of anything ever again.

At least until they found out the truth. But I could keep them fooled for long enough, right? I mean, Jack seemed to like me. I wasn't sure in what way exactly, but he did seem to like me. That was something wasn't it? It had to be.

Me and Jack just sat and talked while Sam and Dean burned the bones and covered the body back up. The only reason I knew the body was there was because I had found this place three years ago, though as to the corpse's identity I had no clue. I was just making crap up.

When the job was finally done it was around midnight and the hunters wanted to go back to their motel. They also wanted me to come with them.

"But where would you sleep?" I argued.

"Oh, I don't sleep that much." Jack simply shrugged. I chewed on my lip, for every excuse I could come up with, Jack had a solution.

"Look Jack, I've spent a long time here and I've got, like, this 'secret hideout' where I always sleep- er, slept, and I just wanna go back there, collect my stuff and say goodbye, ya’ know? I'll meet you outside your motel bright and early tomorrow morning. Alright?" Maybe the slight truth would work where excuses had failed miserably. Jack sighed.

"You promise you'll come?" He asked.

"Cross my heart," I said, doing the motion.

"Good cause' if you don't show, Cas will know where you went," Sam said, his voice was friendly but it sounded like a threat. I guessed he was suspicious. Sam got in the car.

"That is true," Castiel said, following him. Yeah, they were both suspicious of me.

"Oh. Uh, nice." There went all hopes of running away from this. "Well where are you guys staying? Just so I know where to go," I asked.

"It’s called North Sea Motel, or something like that." Jack paused for a moment. "Uh, I think." I smiled with a shake of my head.

"I think you mean North Port Motel," I corrected him. Jack smiled.

"Yeah, that one!"

"Okay, well, I'll see ya there!" I started to dismount from where I sat, perched in a different tree, but Dean's voice stopped me.

"Say, where is this little ' secret hideout' of yours? We could drive you, just tell us where. Then you could get your stuff and come to the motel with us, you might even get a good night's sleep," Dean offered. I turned him down with a shake of my head.

"Nah, you boys get some sleep. Besides, if I told you where it was, it wouldn't be my 'secret hideout' now would it? Also, it’s not exactly accessible by car anyway, but don't worry, it’s not far." That was a lie. It was all the way across town, but I might need to use it to hide from these guys one day so telling them the location wouldn't be smart.

"Alright well, see ya’ tomorrow, kid." Dean climbed into his car and revved the engine, waiting for Jack before driving off.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow!" Jack smiled at me. His smile was sort of strange as his mouth curved up on one side and down on the other at the same time. I liked it.

"See ya’ tomorrow Jack-Jack." I winked at him from where I sat, perched in a different tree. Then in the blink of an eye, Jack was beside me, pulling me in for a hug. I was surprised but hugged him back. I took a deep, breath through my nose.

'Holy zoodles, you smell amazing!' I thought to myself. For a split second the thought entered my mind. For a split second I considered what it might be like.

But that wasn't going to win out.

I pulled away from the hug and Jack smiled his crooked smile and he disappeared, and I waved as the Black Impala drove off. I sighed.

"Whatever you're gonna say, you can go ahead and say it!" I said to the air.

No reply.

No Isaac.

Nothing.

"Ugh! You're so dramatic! If you wanna talk then talk, ya friggn' weirdo!" I shouted to no one.

Isaac still didn't appear. I hopped off my branch and began to sprint through the snowy woods at top speed. Mocking all the way.

"Oh I'm Isaac and I'm so superior to everyone and I'm a stinkin' drama queen who has to be all cryptic about my USELESS OPINIONS!"

I shouted the last bit before climbing the rope into the tree house. I had made it in under five minutes. When I hauled my sorry butt inside the tree house, Isaac stood there, waiting. He had his arms crossed and his shoulders square and his face was a mask of barely controlled rage. I copied his stance and stared back at him. He remained silent. I could only do it for so long.

"What?" I asked, giving in. Apparently that question was all it took for Isaac to explode.

"DO YOU THINK THIS IS A FRIKIN' GAME?!" He shouted. I couldn't help but stumble back a few paces. Isaac never yelled, not at me. Isaac yelled at everyone else, but never, ever, me. I blinked a few times, trying to discourage the tears.

"N-no! I-I-I just-"

"DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?!"

"NO! But I-"

"REALLY? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU'RE ACTING! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Isaac took a menacing step, and it took a lot of will to stand my ground.

"I don't know! I wasn't-"

"THAT'S RIGHT! YOU WERN'T!" I looked away, blinking furiously to dispel my tears. Isaac sucked in a breath, trying to calm himself.

"I was just trying to save our butts! I didn't think they would take it like that and try to adopt me on the spot!"

"Why didn't you just say no?!"

"Because that would have looked suspicious!"

"Then just run! They'll move on without you! They'll keep going with their lives! They don't care about you!" Isaac insisted. His words hurt. Why? Why did they hurt?!

"That's not true! They said they'd search for me!" I tried, but it was a weak response, and I knew it. Isaac laughed, it was bitter and without humor.

"What? Is it that Half-Angel freak?" He snorted. I lowered my head.

"He's not a freak," I mumbled.

"Sorry, could you say that a little louder? I couldn't hear you over all your stupidity!" Isaac sneered. My head snapped up and my teeth and fists clenched.

"Jack. Is. Not. A. Freak!" I growled. Isaac's eyebrows shot up.

"Wait, you don't- No. No, you're not really-" I knew what he was asking, and I simply glared at him.

"What?"

"Do you like him?" Isaac asked, disgust prevalent in his tone. I looked at the floor, grinding my teeth.

"No."

"OH COME ON! REALLY MARTY? YOU GOT A CRUSH ON THAT FREAK-A-ZOID!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Isaac roared, "HE'S A FRIGGIN' TWO-YEAR-OLD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" I couldn't take it anymore.

"SHUT UP ISAAC!!!" I screeched, my pitch rising with my anger. I took a deep breath and stared him in his cold, dead eyes. "If Jack is a freak then so am I!"

"No, you are what you are. That kid, if you can even call him that, is trying to be two things at once! He's more powerful then the actual angel! Couldn't you feel it? That thing could probably kill you without even trying!" I rolled my eyes, my fists clenching tighter. I could feel my nails cutting into my hands, but I didn't care.

"Jack wouldn't hurt me. He's not like other hunters, Isaac! He's not doing this out of hate!" I insisted. Isaac's face twisted into a snarl. He walked over and looked down on me.

"And when he finds out that you've been lying? What do you think he'll do then? What do you think they'll all do? Do you think they'll just shower you with hugs?" He questioned, mockingly.

"No."

"They'll never except you. Once they find out the truth, and they will find out, they'll never love you. You know why?"

"Stop." I ground out through clenched teeth.

"Because they are not your family, Marty. They never will be," Isaac hissed.

"I don't need them to be. Besides, I can always talk them into it." Isaac stepped away now and started pacing the floor of our hideout.

"But you won't. You know why? Because it will never be real. That's what you want, isn't it?" He jeered.

"I just want to be safe! I don't wanna run anymore!" I protested, even though he was right. Isaac shook his finger at me.

"No, you want it to be real. You want it so desperately, don't you? That's what this is all about, isn't it? Deep down it's all about Jack, and you know it."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Isaac," I seethed. He turned to me with a quizzical yet mocking expression.

"This little crush you have on the hybrid freak, do you really think you have a chance?" Isaac flicked his finger against my skull. "I know you're all grown up in there, but out here you're still fourteen! And you heard it right out of his mouth, he may be grown up on the outside but he's still only two-years-old! I don't care which side you look at it from, that's pedophilia either way!" I wished I could punch Isaac in the face, much more than I usually did.

"It's not like that! You can't stop me Isaac! This isn't your decision to make!" I shouted at him.

"I'm not letting you go with them. If that means murdering all of them in their beds, then so be it! I'm not going to let them hurt you!" Isaac barked.

"What is wrong with you?! This is my decision! Why do you keep trying to control my life?!" I demanded.

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WATCH MY SISTER DIE!"

I blinked. I couldn't speak. What could I even say? We stood across from each other, the anger draining away into heartbreak.

"I just want a friend, Isaac. Is that really so wrong of me?" I demanded in a whisper. A rain of emotion was beginning to sizzle out the fire of my fury. My spectral companion stopped in his tracks.

"A friend? What am I, chopped-liver?" Isaac asked, sarcastically. Though his tone was mordant, I could sense the hurt that sapped through.

"Isaac, that's not what I meant," I tried to back-track, but it was useless. Isaac's lip curled and his eyes narrowed.

"I've spent five years stuck in the veil, not being able to talk or be seen by anybody but you. All of that just so your sorry ass wouldn't be so friggin' lonely! I put off going to heaven and this is what I get for it?! What? Am I suddenly not good enough for you anymore? Is that it?!" He spat.

"Of course not, Isaac! You're my brother! You're my best friend and you always will be!" My voice came as a stressed whisper as I strived to explain, "It's just that-"

"That what? What makes him better than me? What makes any of them better than me?! What does that Nephilim freak have that I don't, huh?" He challenged, his voice like burning acid. I couldn't take it anymore.

"YOU'RE DEAD, ISAAC!!!" I screamed, tears gushing down my face like salt-water rivers. I couldn't stop them. "YOU'RE DEAD AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" Isaac blinked, speechless. "Mom and Dad and Jackie and Bree and Jazz; they're gone! They're all gone and it's all my fault!"

"Marty-"

"No, Isaac! You're gone and I can't have you back, not for real. I can't high-five you when we laugh, I can't punch your shoulder when you're annoying me, and when I'm upset you can't wrap your arm's around me and hold me until the tears run dry! You can't do that, and I don't blame you, but you can't!" I took a deep breath and looked at the rough wooden floorboards as I tried to mop up my tear-stained cheeks, but it didn't work. All the sadness from the last five years was escaping now.

"I don't-" Isaac started but I wasn't finished just yet.

"I need someone who can do that, Isaac. It's been exactly five years, eleven months, and twenty-two days since somebody hugged me! I didn't realize how much I needed it until now, and I don't think I can go on like this any longer! Isaac, I am all alone," I lamented.

"You have me, Marty," He whispered. I hadn't realized that ghosts could get choked up.

"Isaac, you're not really here," I whispered, painfully. "I know you're all I have; but I don't have you, not really. I don't want you to go, but every single day, this figment of you reminds me that you're never coming back," I sniffed, still trying to keep it under control, but the look in Isaac's eyes made that impossible.

"Oh, Marty... I-I'm sorry." I rubbed at my eyes, wishing once again that I could lay my head on his shoulder and just cry like I wanted to, but I couldn't.

"I just want you back!" I sobbed, my ragged breaths scraping at my dry, tender throat. Isaac reached out but his arms passed right through me, just like always. I looked to him in despair before moving to sit on the mattress. "Why did you have to die?" I whispered.

"I don't know."

"Just let me go with them, Isaac. I can't do this anymore."

"If you're going then I'm coming with you. Through thick and thin, remember?"

"Through thick and thin," I agreed. Isaac smiled at me weakly.

"Well, get your stuff together, we're goin' on an adventure," He said. I nodded and strode over to the backpack in the corner. Reaching to the very bottom of the bag, I grabbed hold of the two objects I hated the most.

Two bags filled with a pint each of human blood. The label bore the name: Aspirus Keweenaw Hospital. It was the only hospital anywhere near Copper Harbor, though it was more than twenty miles away. It was a long way to go by foot but now I would never need to go again. I just hoped that wherever these hunters lived there was a hospital nearby. I weighed the bags in my hands and considered the possibility of smuggling them past the hunters. The odds were pretty bad.

"Just wondering, how do you plan to keep this a secret while under the watch of four hunters?" Isaac asked from behind me. I inhaled deeply before turning back to him.

"No idea! But as for right now―" I ripped open a small hole in one of the bags and raised it into the air the way you would raise a toast― "Drink up me hearties, yo ho!"

I think you can figure out what I did after that.

-2 hours and 56 minutes later-

I finished packing all of my belongings into my backpack and a few extra things I stuffed in my violin case. Then, I saluted the now abandoned tree house farewell and tromped off through the snow to say goodbye to the one person in this town that I actually considered a friend.

The bell dinged as I pushed open the door to the pharmacy. I smiled at the shapeshifter behind the counter and waved. Dan-the-Dope-Man, regardless of anyone's opinion about his behavior, was the closest thing to a friend as I had made in these past five years. He may not have been the best person, but I owed him a lot and now this was the only way I could repay him.

"Marty! I thought you died! When I watched you go with those hunters, I didn't know what to do! Are you okay?" There was no one else in the store, so the man with the face of a forty-year-old hopped over the counter and rushed over to me, enveloping me in a hug. In this form, he didn't have his Brooklyn accent.

"I'm fine, Danny but, uh, I gotta tell you something." Dan released me and held me at arm’s length.

"What? What's wrong?" He worried.

"Nothing's wrong," I told him, shaking my head, "But I'm leaving."

"What? Why?" Dan exclaimed.

"Those hunters, they asked me to come with them, they said they're gonna protect me." Dan's brows pulled together and he looked at me with concern.

"Marty, they're hunters. Protecting things like us, vampires and shapeshifters, isn't exactly what they do!”

"They don't know what I am, and I plan to keep it that way. But these guys, they're different. They're gonna protect me, and maybe they'll help me find Felix!" I said, gently.

"That's a dangerous game."

"Let's hope I'm good at it."

"You're really gonna do this?"

"Yeah." Dan sighed.

"Well in that case, I'm gonna miss ya, Marty." He wrapped his arms around me, and I hugged him back.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Danny!" Apparently, my eyes hadn't rid themselves of tears completely. A few salty droplets dripped down my cheeks.

"Take care of yourself, sweetie. Remember, if you ever need a place to go, my door is always open." He said, patting my back.

"Thank you, man. For everything. I owe you a lot." I wiped my cheeks and gasped a breath as I pulled away.

"Eh, don't worry about any o' that. Stay alive, Marty. That's all the payment I want," Dan smiled.

"I can do better than that," I promised, smirking.

"Whattdya' mean?"

"If any hunter ever comes to check this place out again, I'm gonna give you a head's up. Sound good?" Dan grinned.

"Sounds great, Marty." He hugged me again and when he pulled away, he had an idea.

"Before you go, here, take these," He said, grabbing several items from different shelves and stuffing them in a bag which he gave to me. I peeked into the bag, inside were several boxes of chocolate truffles, four Hershey's bars, and one of those little solar powered flowers that waves when you place it in the sun. "It's not much, but it’s something to remember me by."

"I'll savor every chocolate, Dan. I'm gonna miss ya, have an awesome life buddy!" I waved as I pushed my way out the door, "I hope you get your daughter back!"

"Thank you, Marty! Take care of yourself! I hope things get better for you!" Dan waved back and I left the pharmacy behind, muttering to myself as I walked down the street to the motel.

"I hope things get better too."

~Hey Alice, do you want to play? The Queen's great (or so it's been said) Hey Alice, can you play croquet? If you're good, you can keep your head

Hey Alice, are you here or there Or somewhere in between? Hey Alice, would you ever dare To go back through where you've been?

Hey Alice, time is running short This can't take too long Make a choice now. On which side of the door Do you feel you belong?~

Lyrics from: Hey Alice by Rachel Rose Mitchell

[luvdsc]

Hey Cat!! I hope you're doing well as always ! 💖 AHHHH huhu I closed the form last Sunday since I've collected enough responses dy! (NOOOOOOOO ToT) I got a total of 221 responses at the end of the week, which is 3x the amount I initially needed! :o I'm beyond grateful and appreciative ToT I've cleaned the data and have proceeded to run some data analysis, but I ran into an issue whereby the scores on the subscales are equal (it has never been reported in past studies! :O) so I'm waiting for my supervisor's feedback on how to proceed. Hopefully it's nothing too serious ToT

Hehe finance is interesting indeed! I just started reading a book on finance for young adults (Rich Dad Poor Dad) and I look forward to learning more from the author's tips! The Coursera introductory course has also made financial terms a lil more familiar, even though it's just the basics and it's really helped w my financial literacy 🥺 I can push myself to study but it's also the numbers and calculations I'm worried of cuz I am rly a nong (idiot) when it comes to numbers * - * it runs in the genes I guess AHAHAHAHA my mom and sister aren't good at numbers either keke

Aww I'm glad yr professor made financial accounting enjoyable and a fruitful experience for you! Some lecturers / professors rly just have that spark in them to inspire ppl and I'm blessed to be surrounded by a bunch of em in the psych department!🥺😭 it truly makes a difference and I'm sure we both are living proofs of that!

After debating for a while, I've decided not to take a minor mainly because I'm so tired HAHAHAHAHAHA and I'll just do my own self-studying and exploration whilst working! Go out and explore the world, live life! Whilst ironically still staying in my room because of the COVID-19 situation in our country (cases are abt 20+k every day :') ) My proposal has been finalized and it's been accepted! It's just that some elements of my proposal is also part of my actual report, so I have some guidance to refer to in terms of structure! :3 and yes don't worry! I got plenty (sometimes a lil too much) rest during the sem break whilst remaining productive! Plus, I got to catch up w some friends and had game nights (maybe too much of game nights hehe) and movie nights w my friends which was truly refreshing! Also cuz I might not see a lot of them again after we graduate so we gotta cherish every moment 🥺😭

I'm a freelance graphic designer for my uni's newsletter! Occasionally, they'd ask us to create both the content and design! I'll place the link to my recent work below if you wanna check it out! UwU I'm trying to incorporate the same practices during sem break in my last sem (current sem) too! cuz yes mental health is so so important and I'm just tired of being academically tired you get me? :(

What makes me most trilled abt learning abt psychology is how to apply it in daily life too! I find it so fascinating and awestruck at how relatable and within reach these things are like wow we can be influenced in such ways?? :o can be both good and bad but imma stick w seeing it as the development and evolution of us humans UwU

Also, the vaccine has fixed my sleep schedule HEHE (another perk of getting vaccination :3) I got some rly good rest and managed to reset my usual sleeping time, thank you science ToT oooo I see I see, we've had cases of nurses injecting empty syringes hence the recording :( but GHIOGHWEOGIOHW I could never do that, I can feel the liquid entering me as it is so that's good enough ToT (* plays Love Talk * I can feel it coming)

OMG YOUR ART PIECES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE AND ELEGANT! 💖🥺🥰 it must've required a lot of hard-work and effort AHHH thankiew for showing me yr work!! it's truly unique in its own manner despite it's simplicity UwU is there a reason or backstory to yr chosen theme and objects? :3

I just Googled Somi Somi and omg that's such an UwU ice cream AHHHH 💖🥺😭 ice cream is my fav food of all time and it looks like an ice cream haven omg imagine eating it after a loooong hard day's of work ToT and OMG THE SATISFACTION OF EATING THAI MILK TEA ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY YASSS 😋🤤 hehe if you get the chance to try milk & biscoff, do try it! It's amazing !😍 and ooo i haven't tried alcoholic ice cream before but I will one day!! :3 my alcohol tolerance is rly low though, will I get tipsy over alcoholic ice cream? We shall see UwU (i can only drink half a bottle of apple cider before my face gets red and I start getting a lil tipsy + headache)

and lovie....knowing yr school schedule now...OURS IS DEFINTELY BRUTAL OMG a 3 month long sem break huhu that's only the total amount of sem breaks we get in a year ToT i thought uni was hard but not that hard ToT

Always glad and honored to have you onboard! and AHAHAHAH the contractions about to start soon 👀 I enjoy talking to you huhu you're such a sweet and supportive person 💖🥺🥰😙 huhu for my period cramps, I've been having them since I was 12 ToT my doctor prescribed me some panadols but sometimes I can't even swallow them cuz I'd puke them out ToT I've settled w heatpacks to reduce my reliance on medicine, but I finally got some upgraded and safe to eat medicine from my gynae! She said it's fine to take it every month to keep my womb healthy and apparently my ms. lil uterus is suffering from inflammation, hence the super crazy bedridden cramps :( the upgraded medicine worked for a while, but after time it kinda didn't help either :/ but I realised that exercise rly does wonders to reduce the cramp too (gynae also recommended exercising) so i take walks and do my back stretches more frequently now! my period in the previous months (2 months ago) have been almost painless and bearable, it's so weird not seeing my bedridden ._. when I was in high school, there would always be a day in every month in which I don't attend classes, and that's solely because of my cramps. It just isn't worth suffering in school, plus we don't have a sick room :/ I hope the pain continues to subside! ToT

And ayy internship is also working experience, yr advice would be of great help to me regardless! 🥺 oh yes, I always remind myself that interviews are similar to the speaking test I took for my Cambridge English exams! That kinda help calm my nerves down a lil, but w nerves comes bigger smiles, so I guess it takes on a rather practical form of coping mechanism (sublimation) AHAHAHAHA

WAAAA WHAT A QUEEN you got an offer from every interview?? I aspire to be like you! 💖🥺🥰 huhu skill wise I believe I have lots to prepare esp in terms of case studies, and I perform rly poorly on certain assessments (*ehem * esp those concerning numbers) so I took the chance to study a lil during sem break too ToT but noted on that! I will work on that too and try to maintain that me element in interviews and overall just be myself keke

That's all from me for now! Imma wait for my supervisor's feedback and journey on w my last semester. Bon voyage! Link to my recent work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTBqGzjr6sN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Other works: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPpv-IyM7Gi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CL55EG-MbL2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

hi hello honey bee !!! 💓 omg i'm so sorry for the belated response, i finally got on my laptop 😭 i'm gonna put my response under the cut since it got a little long 🤧

omg 221 responses !!!!! that's so many 🙀 congratulations aaaaa it's amazing that you were able to get 3x the data you needed !!! was it difficult to run data analysis? were you able to solve the issue with the equal scores on the subscales? i hope it didn't create too much additional work for you ):

omg yes finance is really interesting! i enjoyed the classes i took for it :') how is rich dad poor dad? did you learn a lot from it? i know it was a book my prof recommended, but i never got around to reading it 😶 did you learn any helpful tips? and ooo i'll have to look into coursera! yeah, there's quite a lot of terms for finance, and it can be a little intimidating paired with all the math formulas and such, but it's pretty useful imo! how are your financial studies going so far? 💕 omg nong is such a cute word?? i would never think it meant idiot asdkfhlkajsdf omg my whole family is good at numbers and really like math, but i didn't like it 😭 my mom made me study it a lot everyday though rip are the financial calculations getting easier for you as you practice more hopefully?

yessss omg i absolutely agree with this!!!! like you can just feel when a professor loves to teach and is genuinely so excited to talk about their subject, and it just makes the most boring horrible subject into something you learn to enjoy and hate less :') and i'm really happy to hear you have tons of professors like that in the psych department 🥺💗

that's great to hear!!!! 🌷🌷 i'm glad that you're prioritizing yourself and your health, which is so much more important than taking on a minor. what fun subjects have you decided to explore and self study so far? 💞 oh my gosh, the rising cases are so high?? i hope it's gotten better there for you ): are you able to go outside yet?

big congratulations on your proposal being finalized and accepted, lovebug !!!! 🥳🥳 i'm very proud of you and hoping one day i can read your published studies in a scientific journal :') aaaa i'm so glad to hear that you got to rest and enjoy your time with your friends!! i definitely feel that omg i regret all the times i skipped out on movie nights or game nights with my friends because now we're all scattered across the country and the only way we can have them again is over zoom calls 🤧

I SAW YOUR DESIGNS AND THEY'RE GORGEOUS OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH !!!! 💖 I'M IN AWE AAAA IF PSYCH DOESN'T WORK OUT, I HOPE YOU BECOME A GRAPHIC DESIGNER 🤩🤩💖 and yes i totally get it ): i really felt the academic burn out when i was in college and it was really difficult at times 🤧 but i hope it's going better for you nowadays, sweetpea 💝💝

omg yeah i absolutely agree !!!! whenever i read about psychology, i keep it in the back of my mind and then when i see something irl that relates to it, i'm like :O amazing. it's so cool to learn about different psych tricks too and see how it works when you test them out yourself and whatnot. and it's really crazy to see how the human brain is so easily influenced at times ??? it truly is an amazing subject !!!

ah what a great side benefit of the vaccine - a better sleep schedule 🤩 i'm happy to hear that your schedule has been fixed 💘 and omg what ??? they're injecting empty syringes wth ????? 😭 that's absolutely horrible, are they getting sued?? lmaooooo that love talk reference askdfhlaksjd

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND COMPLIMENTS 😭😭💗💗 there were many late hours spent in the art studio to finish them, but i'm really happy with the end products :') i thought light bulbs are an interesting subject to do, and my prof said that cutting out circular objects or sculpting them is the most difficult since they're made up curves and not straight lines and i was like ok bet i'm gonna do it aND I'M SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THEM 🥺 and i love honey bees !!! that's why i decided to paint them and we were supposed to paint them in a combined style of two artists so i tried monet's impressionist style with the short brush strokes and pop art triptych style like marjorie strider 💕

somi somi is sooo good and i just had it again a couple weeks ago :') omg ice cream is your favorite food? :o and YES ice cream is so satisfying after a long day of hard work, like it's such a nice reward to look forward to at the end of day ✨ aaaaa i have to try thai milk tea ice cream one day now !!!!! it sounds amazing 🤩 and YES i must look for places that sell milk & biscoff ice cream !! i have milk ice cream from somi somi, but i need to try to combined flavors 💘 i don't think you'll get tipsy over it !!! it's a really faint taste of alcohol, like i didn't even notice it at first, and i don't think they put very much of it in there! aksljdfhals omg you're a lightweight :o at least that means you save money on alcohol LOL i need like nine shots to get drunk 🤧

your school is too hard 😭 you need more than just 3 months of break !!! 😡 we get a week off for thanksgiving in fall semester and a week off for spring break in spring semester too and then the month long winter break and three month summer break. and we have the one day holidays off too like labor day, memorial day, etc. i can't believe they give you so little time off after working so hard???

asdfhlkajshdlksja loool are the contractions over yet? has it been born? what's the current status, doctor? 👀 i really enjoy talking to you too !!! i'm very sorry for the late responses, work is really taking over all of my time, and i never have enough time to get on my laptop to reply to my asks 😭 and thank you for saying such kind things about me 🥺🥺💝 oh my gosh, i'm so sorry to hear that you have such terrible cramps 😭 i can't even imagine going through that - mine are nowhere near as horrible 😖 do the heatpads help a lot? i'm relieved to hear that you were prescribed better medication though! but yeah, your body does eventually get used to the medication and you have to continue taking stronger meds for it to work, but that's not a very healthy solution /: but i'm really glad to hear that exercise has been helping out a lot!! 💖 hurray for almost painless and bearable periods 🥳 i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that in high school ): that sounds absolutely horrible 😭 periods are just awful, but it's like i'm grateful that i have my period because that means i'm not pregnant, but also please go away aslkhdfaklsj

omg what was the speaking test for the cambridge english exams like? :o it sounds so formal and a lil intimidating askdjfhalsd do you know of any psych tricks that can possibly help calm your nerves? :')

aaaa yes i did !! i was really surprised that i got an offer from them all because at the time, i was not in the right major and i think i was one of the most underqualified applicants 🤧 one person who interviewed me asked why i withdrew from my engr physics class and i explained it in a kinda funny way but in my head, i was like "oof i'm not gonna get this offer anymore" but then he laughed at my response and told me about how his prof told him he should drop a guitar class he was taking because he was doing very poorly and we bonded over that aklsjdhfkals omg how do interviews for psych jobs go? do you have to discuss a lot of case studies? do they give you a list of possible case studies they'll ask about? :o what sort of assessments do you have to do? good luck on all of your interviews, honey bee 💛 i'm rooting for you, you're gonna do amazing !!!! 💘

omg what did your supervisor say about your case study? and how is your last semester going? are you almost done now? 🌸 (also how have you been? what have you been up to? thank you for taking the time to leave such detailed messages for me, i'm really excited to see all the fun updates in your life, lovebug 🌷🌷)

[willowashmaple]

A bit of mental health update and random thoughts, July 7, 2021 edition

After a few months of wait-and-see, and having anxiety attacks over the thought of it, I finally got myself vaccinated on June 4. I deliberately chose a location that was known to be low-stress and not staffed by assholes. Since I got a Janssen, I did not need to make two trips into the Big City (I never feel safe to get any kind of healthcare in the small, right-leaning town nearby). Fortunately I had zero side effects (though, should I be worried about this?) and a month later there is no signs of whatever the doomsday scenario I have heard of. (I know: 1 out of 500,000 possible such incidents is less than the chance of 5 out of 100 possibility of me being hospitalized for COVID because I weren't vaccinated - and with the rise of the Delta variant, to me it boiled down to statistical probability).

A couple of weeks ago I planned on going to the Pride festival about 30 miles away from here, but I had to call it off because of the heat wave ("once in a thousand year" event with the peak temperature of 119 degrees Fahrenheit). It was too dangerous for me, although the event did take place with a modified schedule, moving it to earlier hours to avoid the heat. It has been over three years now since I have been to any Pride event, so this sucked.

This past Sunday I managed to return to my church, after two years of being away. The church had just resumed regular services without capacity restrictions a few weeks ago, and also there was the annual church picnic (which did not happen last year for an obvious reason), so I got to see many people that I hadn't seen in a long time.

In retrospect, living out here in the woods had taken a big toll on my mental health (though, don't take me wrong; there are many positives too -- I feel like being here kept me safe from COVID, the Trump regime, and riots during the past four years). Isolation, monotony, and boredom have been a big problem.

There are some common misconceptions that autistic folks are "anti-social", that they are always "self-absorbed", and that they do not "function" in social settings. For some time I ended up internalizing this sort of hate, while my chronic depression pushed me into giving up on myself.

But in reality, some social interactions are necessary part of a healthy living even for me. And to a large extent I enjoyed attending events, being part of groups that are dedicated to specific causes or tasks (such as activist organizations), and even taking leadership positions in such groups. This is in spite of such scenarios often wearing me out and often causing severe anxieties from time to time.

What really bothers me, and burns me out, though, are people who are not consistent and steadfast: people who are flakes or liars, those who say one thing one day and another thing entirely different the next day, people who do not follow through, those who keep changing their stories and do not wholeheartedly commit themselves to things that they say they will do, those people who let their emotions, whims, and moods (even if they call those "gut feelings" or "the spirit" or "following my heart/passion/intuition/etc.") make decisions for them (please use your brain and reason to think -- God gave you the capacity for intelligence and reason!).

And the others who burn me out are people who think emotional and interpersonal dramas and conflicts are somehow "good" (ostensibly because they "challenge each other and help us grow"). "Process"-oriented people seem to like this for the sake of it, or maybe because it makes them feel "connections" or whatever. I don't get it. Please keep your personal issues and dramas out, we're trying to get stuff done.

I do not have patience or spoons for these. Regrettably these phenomena seem to primarily afflict the females far more often than the menfolks, and that really hurts. For many years I considered myself a feminist and elevated women, but I've grown so profoundly disillusioned with women and feminism over the past three or so years because of this.

I'm feeling really distrustful of people lately, though. I really don't know who or what to believe anymore.

On a different topic, I am thinking about teaching art and/or writing online. It seems like something I can do on a part-time basis to make more money. I know I've sort of put the art on the back burner some time ago, so you might be wondering why now? First, it is mostly for practical reasons: I can use extra money coming in, and if I accept crypto (mainly thinking of DOGE, NANO, LTC, and BCH) for payment that would be such a niche that I can gain a good competitive advantage. Second, I think I need more variety in life right now and having a less "brainy" and more creative outlet would be positive.

This article was published on July 7, 2021, at forest.willowashmaple.xyz. Copyright 2021.