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new-aleria · 1 month ago

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the first chapter look?

I don't think I'm going to give out chapters very often, but I would like to know what you guys think about the story so far. This is a super rough draft and is subject to change, but mostly grammar and punctuation editing. Anyway, enjoy the first chapter!

The warm light from the crystal shards danced across faces and gleamed along the glassware of the assembled guests, offering fleeting glimpses into the intimate conversations unfolding around the room. Eyes darted discreetly, scanning for any hint of impropriety: a whispered exchange veering toward scandal, the touches of young, unchaperoned potential lovers, or a daring glimpse of a swelled breast among an immodestly low bust. Meanwhile, the strains of violins and cellos wove a tapestry of harmonious melodies that filled the air.

Servants moved with practiced precision, navigating the crowded room with silent efficiency, seamlessly replenishing glasses and offering food without interrupting the flow of the celebration. Their movements ensured the guests were attended to with grace and unobtrusiveness. The grandeur unfolded amidst a palette of pastel blues, silvers, and gold, creating an atmosphere of timeless elegance. The cascades of delicate flowers adorned the ballroom, their sweet fragrance mingling with the crisp scent of freshly baked cakes and cookies.

Dressed in sumptuous gowns and finely tailored suits, guests mingled beneath vaulted ceilings adorned with ornate moldings and frescoes depicting pastoral scenes. Laughter bubbled alongside effervescent champagne, couples swayed to the music, and the clinking of glasses punctuated joyous conversations. For a fleeting moment, the worries of the outside world melted away within the gilded walls of the grand hall, the night unfolding as a tableau of elegance and merriment.

I turned toward my husband and observed his slack jaw and hunched posture, it was certainly a side effect of the light red liquid threatening to spill out of his cup, which he held loosely.

“Perhaps you’ve had enough for tonight, darling,” I stated. He glanced at me with lidded eyes and took another swig, distastefully spilling wine down his chin. My chest rose quickly and sharply fell back into its rhythm.

“Ah, but who decides when enough is truly enough?” he replied, his voice dripping with insincerity. “Isn’t that just a matter of personal indulgence? I prefer to let the night determine my limits.” He sat up straight, contorting to see the line of servants behind us. He held up his cup with a sly grin, tipping it towards them.

I began in almost a whisper, “People, as always, are very observant of one's behavior at such an event. So personal indulgence should take president over nothing.” I threw the last part of my sentence at him with emphasis.

“Let them notice,” he retorted almost immediately with a smirk, his eyes gleaming with a predatory glint. “The more they see, the quicker they’ll forget. It’s all part of the game, darling.” His attention shifted to the servant girl who had just approached. My husband's smirk grew into a sly grin. The young woman, whose hair was so blonde it looked white styled it in two low buns that fit snuggly against her nape, with two braided strands pulled out in the front. Her honey-colored eyes and delicate features were almost sure to catch my husband's eye.

The servant girl began to fill his glass with a practiced hand. Her head lowered to avoid his gaze, as was customary. As she was filling his glass, Elias leaned closer, his voice dropping to a low, honeyed murmur.

“You know, you must be new to the palace. I’ve never seen you before, and trust me I would do good by remembering such a beauty.”

She kept her head down, her hands trembling slightly as she worked on filling up his glass. He tilted his head, a sly grin still playing on his lips.

“Such a shy creature, aren’t you?” The young girl had barely finished pouring the wine when Elias swiftly grabbed her forearm. She finally took a look into his eyes. Taking his opportunity Elias asked,

“What is your name beautiful?” She averted her eyes, and after a moment answered very meekly,

“I am not supposed to be heard your Royal Highness.” clever girl I’ll give her that. She no doubt knows a name means a visit.

Elias chuckled softly, his tone now carrying a hint of mock sincerity. “Ah, don’t be so modest.” Dropping his voice even lower.

“Your king has asked you a question.” I watched as several people close enough to the balcony turned their heads and began to indiscreetly watch my husband and this servant girl.

“Must you linger, girl? You have done your job in filling his glass; now go.” She should've stayed by the walls, unseen. She stepped back, bowed shortly, and swiftly turned around, walking briskly back to the table, her hands trembling as she held the thick bottle. I glanced down at the people watching; they quickly pretended to go back the their conversations again.

“Must you be so cruel? I was only charming a poor girl who likely has nothing to feel good about in life.” Elias stated, grinning as wide as he could.

“What charm Elias. She didn’t even want to tell you her name.” My husband’s smug grin deepened, clearly mistaking her fear for admiration. I turned to him, my voice barely above a whisper, cold and sharp as a blade. “Don’t delude yourself, Elias. She was doing her job. And you, are no King in your own right.” His sly grin slowly began to fade with each word I threw in his direction, and by the end of my sentence, he was flush and his jaw was clenched. He took several lard swigs of his wine.

Slightly leaning in, I added, “While you dazzle the room, don’t forget that real admiration isn’t just about who you impress but how you’re remembered after it's over. How will people remember you? Do you think they will say ‘Elias the Great’?” I watched as he stewed in his anger, letting it permeate the air around him before finally turning away and towards the people of tonight's festivities. They seemed to be enjoying themselves well enough, with laughter and chatter filling up the ballroom.

The celebration was for my dear sister, Princess Daphne, and her new husband. She was marrying Lord Cornelius Blackwoode of Blackwood Bay. Though no great High Duke, the new Lord was rich beyond imagination due to his late father's exhibitions to the unknown worlds, and thanks to him, now some of the known worlds. Daphne would undoubtedly live a life full of comfort and ease. Though more likely than not, it will be a lonely one. The Blackwoodes are notorious tavern dwellers and maidenhood looters. However, her new lord husband is a valuable asset to have

A loud banging sound outside the windows snapped me back to reality. The guests gathered around the large pillars that opened up into our garden. The high-pitched whistle revealed that fireworks had been ignited and soared into the night sky. Bursting in a dazzling array of colors before gracefully fading away high above, never touching the ground, they cast a sudden glow on the faces of the partygoers. The spectacle excited all the guests, prompting them to rush to the vast gardens outside the ballroom for a closer view.

In the midst of the commotion, a small boy in a page’s uniform fought his way through the crowd, pushing against the current of finely dressed guests. Heads turned, their expressions sharp with disapproval at the child’s impertinence. He ignored the glares, his focus unwavering until he reached the Royal Guards stationed at the base of the grand staircase. Without hesitation, he nodded in acknowledgment before darting up the steps, his feet barely making a sound against the carpet laid on top of the polished marble.

The boy halted before us and bowed with an almost desperate precision. Slightly out of breath, He handed a scroll, no bigger than his palm, to my Voice. With that, he descended back down the stairs, only to dissipate into the sea of bodies.

Lord Vikktorov glanced at the scroll before silently placing it in my outstretched hand. The wax seal gleamed in the flickering light. I slid my fingernail beneath the hardened wax and tore it open with a single, sharp motion. The parchment unfurled, the crackle of the paper drowned out by the murmurs around us, and my eyes skimmed the words that would no doubt change the course of the night.

“Your Grace, I write to inform you of the success of the recent deployment to the Crossings Bridge. These ‘Liberators’ have suffered a great loss of men. By our count, up to three hundred and seventy-two. We will have the area under control by the morning, ready for phase two at your word.”

Signed, 190th Royal Commander of New Aleria, Alastor Highwater.

A small smile made its way onto my face. This is undoubtedly good news. The Kingdom has had to deal with a new wave of rebellions recently. This time is expected due to the death of that child. Her unfortunate passing has made the people of Arcanium vengeful. They rally around the moniker of ‘Liberators,’ and tonight, they added four hundred to their list of liberated.

"What does it say?" Elias lounged on the throne, his head tilted back and eyes shut in contemplation. I neatly rolled the paper up and handed it back to Lord Vikktorov. He promptly shoved it into his pocket.

"It reaffirms that the Gods still yet favor us," I murmured, allowing a rare smirk to flicker across my lips. I raised my hand to summon a servant, the motion smooth and confident. Finally, I could breathe—and drink. With the ‘liberators’ dealt a humiliating defeat, and my sister now bound to a respectable husband, two of my most urgent problems had been tied up neatly, at least for the time being.

A sharp crack of fireworks split the air, and I felt the faintest vibration beneath my feet as the colorful explosions echoed overhead. In the corner of the room, delicate jelly molds trembled precariously on a silver platter, their jewel-toned shapes shuddering in time with the distant booms. The ladies nearby gasped, their wide eyes glinting in the candlelight, and then burst into soft, musical laughter—an orchestrated response to the spectacle outside. Slowly, the guests began to trickle toward the open glass doors leading to the garden, eager to watch the fireworks paint the sky in a dazzling array of colors.

I, however, remained seated, my gaze drifting over the fading crowd. My attention sharpened as an elderly servant approached, his gait slow and uneven. His fingers, gnarled and twisted by age, clung to the neck of the wine bottle like brittle vines wrapped around a branch. Each step he took seemed a struggle, but his focus never wavered. With great care, he filled my glass, the liquid within catching the light as it swirled—a deep, velvety crimson, like blood in a chalice.

I lifted the glass to my lips, inhaling the rich, earthy aroma of the vintage before taking a slow, deliberate sip. The wine was smooth, laced with notes of dark berries and a hint of spice, warming my throat as it slid down. For a moment, the world outside—the fireworks, the guests, the celebrations—faded, and I allowed myself a brief moment of indulgence.

But the reverie was short-lived.

The grand doors swung open with a creak, their gilded edges catching the glow of the chandeliers above. Two footmen entered, their movements synchronized, their faces expressionless beneath their finely pressed uniforms. They took their positions at either side of the doors, holding them wide as four more servants followed. Moving with slow, measured steps, they carted out the pièce de résistance—a seven-tiered cake that towered above them, a masterpiece of confectionery and opulence.

The cake itself was a marvel to behold. Each layer was adorned with intricate details—delicate ribbons and flowers crafted from sugar, shimmering in gold and silver. Lace spiraled elegantly from the bottom tier to the top, its pattern so fine it seemed spun from silk. At the pinnacle stood two crystalline figures, the new Lord and Lady Blackwoode, their glassy forms catching the light, casting faint, prismatic reflections on the cake beneath them. The figures were fragile, yet commanding, as if even they understood the weight of this union.

“Are you coming out?” Elias asked, already on his feet, his unsteady steps betraying both his eagerness and the wine he had indulged in earlier. His figure blurred in the dim light as he made his way impatiently toward the steps, weaving slightly, yet determined.

"My view is unobstructed from here," I replied, my voice steady, betraying none of the weariness within. He gave no response, merely disappearing down the stairs becoming swallowed by the glittering crowd moving toward the garden. I stayed where I was, seated in the warmly lit balcony, away from the festivities. My eyes remained on the fireworks beyond the long open towering windows. Each burst of light and sound carried the cool breeze, a distant reminder of the revelry I no longer felt a part of.

I’m here with the elite of society, the finest women of the ton, and the most handsome men in the realm, all dressed in their silk, lace, and gold. All of them gathered on the lawn, their faces glowing with joy as the fireworks crackled overhead. Their laughter, light and carefree, rippled through the air like the softest of melodies. Yet, no matter how bright the night seemed, peace remained elusive. It had been so long since I had tasted even a moment of true serenity. Even in this extravagant display of wealth and grandeur, my thoughts wandered to where they always did. My sweet Anais.

My only child. The only one who experienced life...and she loved it.

Anais had always been captivated by fireworks, I could almost see her now, the way she would gaze up at the sky, eyes wide with wonder, her small fingers reaching out as though she believed she could grasp the stars themselves. The way her laughter would lift above the noise, pure and unrestrained. She had been called 'The Realm’s Darling' for a reason—everyone adored her, and yet...she was gone. The void she left was as vast and cold as the night that stretched over the celebration.

“Your Grace,” came a deep voice from my left, low and deliberate, drawing me out of my spiraling thoughts. I turned my head, slowly, my gaze meeting that of Lord Vikktorov Ramonov. My Voice.

He stood tall, his silhouette easily identifiable. His eyes, a deep shade of blue that always seemed too piercing, almost predatory, were fixed on me. His bent nose, evidence of a few fights he’d rather not talk about—gave him a look that some might call imposing, but I knew him well. A second son with ambition enough for an empire, Vikktorov thrived in the shadows of court, watching, calculating, like a master tactician observing the pieces on a board. He saw things others missed, often telling me it was his game to know what they hid when they believed no one was watching.

As he stepped closer, he kept his voice quiet, laced with the same caution he always carried when there was something important to share. "There has been talk, Your Grace. About things you may want to hear."

“What is it?” I asked him gently. He shifted his weight from one side to the other, briefly looking down and then up connecting our eyes again before speaking.

“Tomorrow is a bad idea.” He looked at me sternly, almost as if he was scolding me.

I threw my shoulders forward and tossed my head to the side. Immediately I felt the beginning of a migraine coming forth. I finished my glass of wine before speaking.

“You can not possibly be bringing this up now. We have already extensively talked about this more times than I care to count.” My eye began to twitch ever slightly, I knew he wouldn’t drop this anytime soon. Not until it’s done and over with.

“What do you think will happen? Arcaniums will not accept such losses, between the bridge, and then however many more, they will gather more support after tomorrow, from more than just Arcaniumns.” He took a deep breath afterward, looking around the room with a clenched jaw and rigid stance.

My eyes sharply fell on his, snapping at him I remarked,

“It doesn’t matter what they will think or feel. We have Ondoria. They are landlocked. And in case you have forgotten, The Crown owns the bridge territory. They planted bombs at the border. How long before I meet them at my front doors?” My head was pounding, the boom of the fireworks outside creating a pulse of every explosion.

“It's genocide. So many innocent people are going to die. They will retaliate.” He quietly stated. Dawning a somber face, scrutinizing me with his dull bluish-grey eyes.

“It is not genocide. It is war Vikktorov. Don't be so dramatic.” I glared back at him. Silently signaling to drop it.

“In war, truth is the first casualty.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head slightly.

“What would you have me do, hm. Would you have me ignore the blatant attack on the crown authority? The disregard for rules and obligations, you-” Vikktorov cut me off before I could even finish.

“Obligations? You talk of their obligations to you? And what about yours?” Raising his voice so slightly, and his eyes began just a little lighter. A tell that his temper is running hot. My eyebrows raised. However, quickly my eyes narrowed. I stopped to gather my words and choose them carefully.

“If I may finish. I am their queen, and that hasn’t changed, my obligation has always been my duty to the crown, and by extension the people under the crown. That means all the realms, not just their realm. I must think about all of the realms and the best interests of everyone. In exchange for my guidance, they have obligations to obey. To accept my ruling on higher matters. They don’t have to like it, but they have to obey it.”In the corner of the grand ballroom, a servant dropped a plater on the ground, shattering the glasses that were once on the top.

The sound of the silver spinning for a moment, its metallic ring reverberating off the marble floor. All eyes snapped to the boy who held the plater. The boy looked terrified, quickly bowing as several other servants gathered to clean up the mess before the party returned. They all left the room. Vikktorov let out a long, slow breath.

“They are only escalating things to this degree because you did nothing. A child was murdered, your Grace. She was only seven. I imagine you don’t have to dig deep to understand the pain her parents must be feeling right now, her community.” My temper flared. My jaw clenched as my teeth began to grind into each other I began to speak slowly and clearly,

“Who are you to bring my daughter into this? Do you think my daughter and that girl are the same? You have overstepped your place, Lord Romonov.” My jaw was clenched, and I was straining because of how hard I was glaring up at my Voice.

“I speak only the truth. Princess Anais may-” I quickly cut him off.

“You have overstepped. I will not. Repeat myself. Again.” A particularly ear-splitting boom interrupted us. Diverting my attention to the garden, all the guests started to clap and make their way back into the room.

“You will drop this.” Although I was talking to Vikktorov, I was smiling at the attendees who were gathering around the room. Vikktorov stepped to the right of me, just slightly behind my chair.

I watched as my sister and her new husband walked in together. Her husband was smiling wide and holding a glass in his hand, sipping from it. My sister seemed content. A gentle smile and nods to those congratulating her. My eyes jumped from person to person, scanning for my husband in the sea of faces. I could not see his outline anywhere. He without a doubt went to pester that servant girl. Looking at my empty cup, I waived over for a servant.

“The cake will be cut soon. I will make my speech without my husband it seems.” I stated. I was mostly talking to my personal guard. I was still waiting for that old man to come hobbling back over with my wine and yet he was nowhere.

“Where are my servants?” I asked either one.

“The cake will be cut soon, paired with the mess from the glass they must be bringing up supplies,” he replies.

“And that takes all of them?” The silence stays between us. Servants are always on the floor at any given moment. Glancing over the room again. Searching for any of the household Footman or maids, all I seemed to find were the palace guards.

“Vikktorov, I want to make a toast in my speech.” He hesitated for a moment then began to make his way to the table behind me which held the wine and other desserts and snacks. He came back with the same bottle from earlier. I held my empty glass out to him and he began to slowly pour the dark red wine into my cup. When the cup was filled halfway he stopped and began to walk back over to the table.

I will chastise the servants later for not doing the one job they have. For now, I need to give my speech to the new couple. Standing from my cushioned throne, glass in hand. I began to make my way to the edge of the ornate rail a couple of steps ahead of me. I looked over at the musicians playing and signaled for them to finish up. As they were doing so, I grabbed a small spoon from the table of desserts off to the side, I began to tap on my glass to gather the crowd's attention. After a minute or two, the band stopped and people began to quiet down. Eventually becoming silent.

“My dear friends, family, and honored guests. Tonight, we gather here to celebrate a union that is not just a matter of tradition or duty but one that comes from a place of true affection and mutual respect. My sister, Princess Daphne, has always been a beacon of grace and strength within our family. I have seen her grow into someone who embodies the virtues of kindness, intelligence, and resilience. As many of you know, our lives have not always been easy. We have faced challenges that tested our courage, and in those moments, it was Daphne who often stood as a source of comfort and stability. It is this very strength that I see reflected in the choice she has made in her new husband, Lord Cornelius Blackwoode.” I pause only briefly, looking at my sister before beginning once more.

“Together, they represent a partnership not only of hearts but of purpose—a union that will strengthen the bonds of our families and our realms. Daphne, I remember when we used to play in the gardens, pretending to be queens and knights. And yet, here you are, standing beside a man who I know will cherish and protect you as fiercely as you deserve. Cornelius, you have gained not just a wife, but a partner who will stand with you through every challenge and triumph. To the happy couple, I offer this wish” I raise my glass towards the happy couple

“May your days be filled with as much laughter as your wedding day, and may your nights be filled with as much peace as your hearts can hold. May your love continue to grow, not just in the good times, but also in the trials that life may bring, for it is in those moments that love is truly tested and proven. Let us raise our glasses to Princess Daphne and Count Cornelius—may your marriage be as enduring as the mountains of Blackwood Bay, and your love be as passionate as the seas are deep. A toast to the new Count and Countess Blackwoode!” The room was filled with clinking glasses and happy chatter around the room, many already making their way over to the new couple.

“Now” I boom out, quickly silencing the room again, feeling everyone's gaze on me.

“Let us eat cake.” The room once again fills with buzz and laughter. I make my way back to my seat and sit down. I was rubbing my index finger over my thumb repeatedly. My head was pulsating, I counted down the hours until I could leave. Two more hours and it will be socially acceptable before I can retire to my bedchambers. Eat cake. Sit here, eat more cake, and smile. It’s all the same motion. Across the room, Daphne waited for a servant to fetch her a knife so she and her husband could cut the cake. I once again examined the room looking for my husband. I don’t see him anywhere, you would believe it might be easy, with the crown and all. Finishing off my drink, I looked around for one of the servants assigned, but I still didn't see one. I studied the room once again. Not a single servant in sight. I look at the door, no footman? No Attendants.

“Ser Desimus?” I turned towards my Personal Guard.

“Yes, Your Grace,” he replied, his voice almost swallowed by the hum of conversation filling the Grand Ballroom.

“My cup is empty, and my sister is waiting.” Ser Desimus bowed. His movements were precise and controlled. My eyes followed him as he descended the stairs of the platform. Making his way to the two palace guards stationed at the base of the stairs. They stood rigid, their expressions unreadable as they exchanged brief words with him. One of the guards nodded before turning sharply and striding toward the large doors at the far end of the ballroom. I watched as Ser Desimus stood in the spot where the guard once stood.

“Since the speech has been given, may I revel in this joyous occasion?” Lord Vikktorov’s voice broke through the noise, though his tone betrayed him—it was sharp and condescending. The forced emphasis on ‘joyous’ was almost painfully out of place. The following pause hung awkwardly in the air, attracting the attention of a few nearby guests.

“My Queen,” he added, his gaze locking with mine, seeking permission with a formality that felt more like an insult.

“Do as you wish, Lord Vikktorov,” I replied, my tone measured. “Revel in the celebration. It would be a shame not to enjoy tonight’s festivities. The scribes will surely record the events of this night for years to come.”

I turned slightly, looking down at the people gawking. My eyes caught the curious glances of those within earshot as they pretended to return to their conversations. These people never fail to show me their worst. Lord Vikktorov bowed hastily and descended the platform, his steps quickening as he ascended the stairs. He passed Ser Desimus without sparing him a glance. Ser Desimus, returning up the stairs, turned his head when Lord Vikktorov passed. His posture relaxed, but his eyes alert, he took in the room with a practiced gaze.

When Ser Desimus reached the top of the stairs, he exhaled softly, the sound barely noticeable against the backdrop of clinking glasses and murmured voices. He took his place behind me to the left, leaning slightly to speak.

“I have sent a man to see what is the matter, Your Grace,” he murmured, his tone low and measured. The tension in his words wasn’t lost on me.

“Tonight is giving me the worst headache. I will need the High-Preist tonight, I fear I won't be able to sleep without a tonic.” I took another drink of my wine. Swirling the liquid around slightly my gloved hand holding the stem.

“Lord Vikktorov seems to be opinionated tonight.” Ser Desimus offered.

“Apparently so.” Finishing off my wine I began,

“Lord Vikktorov means well, but he shows a weakness in his inability to prioritize. If you want your council to be the best they can be, it often takes a steady hand to guide it there.” Ser Desimus paused for a moment before speaking.

“Would you like for me to have men keep an eye on him?” He kept his voice low. I almost chuckled at the thought.

“His temper runs hot. Vikktorov is loyal. Hot-headed, stubborn, and persistent, but loyal.” I set my empty glass on the small side table and sat and listened to the musicians play.

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romanarose · 1 year ago

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For the Longest Time: Chapter 7

William Miller x Fem!OC (Lorelei Giang)

Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist :Playlist

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Summary: Lorelei and runs into someone from Will's past. Later, Ben is in trouble.

Warnings: (This is a heavy one.) Bulimia, homophobia, self conscious thoughts, talk of euro-centric beauty standards, dinge drinking, puke and vomit (from the drinking, not bulimia endued), potential suicide attempt (it wasn't they just worry), mentions of "taking pills", stomach needing pumped, ER visit, risk of asphyxiation, Benny's alcoholism, Lorelei's worry of Will leaving her like her dad did.

Special thank you to @mrs-lockley for talking to me about Lorelei's character and correcting me to make sure things are more comfortable for everyone. As always, I am a white person who is trying to branch out ad not only write white characters. I want to be accurate and inoffensive, but I don't want to be colorblind. If I *ever* say something about a character that is offensive or inaccurate, please do not hesitate to reach out and correct me. I want to make sure I have a safe space for all my readers.

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Lorelei was going to kill Jana.

Not actually, her intention was nice. But did she have to suggest getting a massage when their fairly small town only had so many massage therapists, and one of which was Will’s ex-fiance.

She hadn’t purposely tried to get her; Lorelei didn’t even know her last name, just her first. Emily, and then a very polish last name she hadn’t been able to memorize in the brief sight she had. Lorelei didn’t think twice booking the appointment, not even knowing what Emily did. Hell, did she know if Emily still lived in town? When Lorelei saw her face, she recognized her. On their shopping trip, Lorelei had gotten just a bit messy and asked Laci if she had a picture of Emily. Laci, in fact, had Emily on facebook. When questioned if Will did, Laci said Will didn’t have a facebook. Smart man.

“Why do you have his ex? Did you used to see her a lot with the guys?”

“No, they broke up year before I met Santi, but I’ve met her couple times. She came to a christmas party last year.

Lorelei’s ear’s perked up at that. “Oh. Do her and Will still talk?”

Laci smiled a cheeky smile. “Are you jealous?”

“No! I’m just curious who's going to be around my baby and if she’s gonna have a step mom.”

Shaking her head and still smiling, Laci showed Lorelei the facebook profile. Fuck, she was pretty. Really pretty. Stunning, actually. Lorelei knew she was pretty enough. She had full lips, a slim face, and up until the pregnancy had a body she was proud of. Still, she found herself constantly comparing herself to european beauty standards. Lorelei couldn’t understand it. She was proud of how she looked; brown skin, thick, dark hair, brown eyes, but sometimes she still found herself comparing her features to other women, and often the ones who fit a euro-centric mold. She didn’t want to pass these feelings onto her daughter.

Since finding out they were having a girl, Will and Lorelei talked a little bit about Lorelei’s eating after she rested.

“Listen, you can’t tell him I said this, but Benny was bulimic in high school.” Will shifted uncomfortably. “Freshman year, he hadn’t really hit puberty yet. He was short, small, was getting bullied although I didn’t really know how bad it was for a while. I thought it was just like… y’know. Teenager stuff.” It was clear he felt guilty for letting any of it happen, but Lorelei sat quietly and let him talk. “I told him he needed to get out more, that moping in his room wouldn’t do anything, join a sport. He choose wrestling, and I don’t know if you know the connection with wrestling and eating disorders, but I sure do now.”

Lorelei nodded. “Yeah, I took a course on eating disorders in undergrad. I guess I was trying to figure myself out to. We learned wrestling triggers eating disorders in men quiet often.”

“Yeah, it got pretty bad pretty fast…”

“Is he still bulimic?”

Will shook his head. “Not that I know of anyway. Far as I know, he stopped sophomore year. I made him quit wrestling and he met a… well a friend, I guess. Yeah. His friend Cam helped him a lot. They were inseparable for two years until he left. Then Ben got depressed again and started on drugs. I left that year for the army and he just. Spiraled.” Will was fidgeting, constantly fixing up items on the coffee table to align in different ways.

She couldn’t very well tell him she stalked Benny and Will through Tyler’s yearbook pictures and she knew who Cameron was. “You needed to get out, I get it. I did the same thing when I turned 18.”

“17, actually.” Will chuckled, still not looking at her. “I graduated at 17 and got my dad to sign off on it. Started basic a few weeks after graduation.”

His dad would. Through more talking, Will expressed he wanted to learn how to be of better support, to help Lorelei in a way that he felt he failed with Ben.

“We’re having a daughter, I don’t want to pass the things my mom ingrained into me into Chloe”

“I don’t either, Lore. I don’t wanna make her feel the way your dads made you feel...”

Lorelei didn’t think that was possible. He could never be cruel. Hot headed, yeah, and he’d told her how he’s acted towards Laci in the beginning, but Will was the first of them to seak therapy, and had come a long way. He would never take his pain out on a child, especially his child. Their daughter. Her bio dad… she wasn’t sure.

It wasn’t that Lorelei though he’d leave, but she remembers her mom saying she never saw her dad leaving coming either. Being nice was easier than staying around. She was comforted by the fact Will’s whole life was her. His brother, mom, grandpa, his found family… but still, she couldn’t be sure.

Seeing Emily up close was even worse. She was in casual clothes and still looked beautiful as she greeted her cheerfully. No wonder Will loved her. She was happy, graceful, and welcoming. She bet Will called her princess.

Lorelei recognized her and realized the mistake immediately. God dammit Jana, you couldn’t let me know Will’s ex-fiance worked here? She would just have to get through this, act like she doesn’t know, pretend everything is fi-

“So what do you wanna know?” Emily said as she began on Lorelei’s neck.

“HM!?” She squeeked out, trying to sound casual. It was not working.

Emily gestured at pregnancy belly. “You’re having a baby with Will. I assume you’re here to find out about me since we were engaged. We haven't been romantically involved in almost a decade, and haven't been sexually involved for 5 years, which I’m sure he told you if you asked. I don’t want your man anymore, trust me.”

Clutching the cloth to her, Lorelei sat up, turning to the blonde. “Okay I know what it looks like!” She waited for Emily to start arguing or maybe get into a fight, but she just started back at her, curious but letting her talk. Emily seemed open to listening. “I just wanted a massage and it wasn’t even my idea it was Jana’s and you came up with good reviews so I went here and then I saw you and yes I recognized you because I found pictures of you because of course I did but I’m not here to stalk you, I’m not even dating Will!”

Emily visibly relaxed, even laughing a little bit. Her smile was warm. “It’s okay I found pictures of you too.”

Lorelei tried to calm down a bit. She was always hot tempered, but this was a different feeling. She wasn’t mad at Emily, but… anxious? Pregnancy emotions. “You… you did?”

She shrugged. “Of course. Will called me to share the news-”

“He called you?”

“Yeah, he was really excited, but really nervous. Wanted to talk to me about it. We were together for like, a decade. Sometimes he just needs someone to calm his spirals.”

Will did spiral a lot. “Have you… been talking to him recently?”

“Not much. He used to call when he was over thinking but he hasn’t done that recently. Said you calm him.”

She calmed him? Lorelei has never calmed a man in her life, outside of work. She is no man’s peace… William thought she was calming? Lorelei felt a sense of pride… she thought Will was calming too. “I don’t… I don’t think I do anything.”

“C’mon, lay down. You paid for an hour.” Gently, Emily coaxed Lorelei to lay down again and began massaging. “Sometimes he just needs someone there. Frankie is good at that too. Those two will sit in silence for 4 hours watching a game. First time they did that I walked over and asked if they were in a fight or something, they both looked really so confused.” Emily said with a laugh, and Lorelei couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, they uh… they are interesting.”

“I guess my point is, sometimes he just likes that. God know’s Benny isn’t going to calm anyone, and Santi is 5 feet of anger issues and attitude. He probably thinks of sitting with you as a love language.”

“Oh- we’re not-” Lorelei was quick to protest. “We’re not in love.”

“Sure you’re not.”

“We’re not!”

Emily laughed as she replied. “Okay, whatever you say. You’re just living with him, having his baby, spending time with his friends and family, putting up with Santi.”

Lorelei laid there for a while enjoying the pre-natal massage… she was good at what she did. No wonder Will proposed to her. Pretty, personable, and those hands… “How did you find pictures of me?”

“The same way I assume you found pictures of me. Through Laci. She posted a picture of you guys at the beach and I connected the dots. Can I ask why you are so insisted you don’t want to be with him? He’s clearly nuts about you.”

That made Lorelei’s ears perk up. Will? Nuts about her? “Huh? What’d he say?”

“Not explicit but, you know a man or as long as I’ve known Will-” Lorelei wished Emily would stop mentioning how long she’s known Will. “You can pick up on it. He was saying how much he admired you.”

He… admired her? Lorelei had never been admired before… “Huh?”

“He told me how you first met, how you weren’t afraid to put him in his place and controlled the room, how you took care of Benny, your concern for Laci… said he thinks you’ll make a beautiful mother.”

That first meeting… It's been over a year now since that day he and Laci took Benny to the ER… She recalls not liking him, thinking he was controlling, being suspicious he had hurt Laci… now she know’s he’d rather die than harm her, that he cared about Laci and Benny more than anything, that Laci’s inability to speak and her unwillingness to leave him side was not fear of him but fear of the world. Will would do anything for those two, Will would do anything for Santiago, and Frankie, for Jana and Rosie. For her.

Lorelei couldn’t stop thinking about the interaction for 2 days. She told Will she ran into Emily of course; it’d look bad if he found out from Emily. The words Emily had told her wouldn’t leave her head… there was so many ways Lorelei would describe herself, many positive, many not… but the way Will saw her, he had taken that interaction that Lorelei thought any man would find abrasive and annoying, he’d seen something beautiful in it… he thought she’d been a good mother…

It was a few days later when Lorelei got home at 3:29 AM from her night shift. She’d been taken off overnights due to the pregnancy, but tonight there was a car crash on the interstate so she stayed late to help until everyone was stabilized. It had been a hard day; she watched an 80 year old die from internal bleeding, but she spotted the signs of going into shock on preteen when the idiot Dr. Jones insisted she was perfectly fine. She could at least rest knowing she’d saved the young boy's life.

She told Will not to wait up, but she knew he would. He always did. Lorelei texted him updates occasionally, just to ease him mind because she knew he worried, and when her last text ‘Leaving rn. Best be asleep when I get home (this is a threat)’ was read at 3:12 am, she knew she was right. Never in her entire life did she think she’d be texting a man updates on where she was, but it was different with Will. Tyler always accused her of cheating. Her parents always accused her of sleeping around. Will just wanted to know she was okay. It was nice, honestly, knowing someone was waiting for her, but also knowing that person wasn’t going to tell her she had to come home. She just came home for him.

Home… Yeah, they had a home. She had to admit it now, she wanted him, she wanted a life with him… And goddamn did she want to fuck him again. Her vibrator had been getting the job done, but as her stomach grew, that became harder. She wanted his broad, warm body all over her, the way his mouth devoured between her legs, his hands so ready to please… he was a giver, and boy did he GIVE. God, she needed him. She’d give him the best blowjob of his life if he could just make her cum on his mouth like she did when Chloe was conceived.

Despite knowing he was up, Lorelei was surprised to see the lights on as she approached the front door. Will never left all the lights on. He left on the front porch light, then the oven light so she didn’t walk into darkness. And no, Will would not forget. He checked the lights and that any fire hazard was unplugged every night were unplugged. Multiple times… he really should get checked for OCD…

When she walked in, she was greeted with a nice sight of Will in boxers and a white tank top, showing off his arms and a small assortment of tattoos… and also looking very, very worried as he paced the floor and looked at his phone. Lorelei thought back to the day of his dads funeral, when he opened up to her about the child abuse and how she wanted to bad to protect baby Will. She couldn’t go back in time, and maybe Lorelei wasn’t the best at comfort… It was easier in the ER, people she didn’t have to be vulnerable with… but she needed to be emotionally open if she was going to raise this little girl. Lorelei couldn’t protect Will as a child, but she can be there for him now.

“William? What’s wrong?”

Will only briefly glanced at her. “Oh, hi, sorry um… somethings up with Ben…”

Of course it was Ben that had him up this late. “What’s going on?” She asked as she set her purse down. That was step one. Step 2 was taking off her bra, and she reached behind her back to unclasp it. Will wasn't phased, she’d been doing this for months.

“He sent me a bunch of drunk texts, they got more and more incomprehensible… I tried to call him after a while but he won’t answer.” Normally, Will would have Ben’s location just as Santi had Frankie’s before he got sober, but Alice made him stop sharing his location. In her defense, he didn’t go black out in bars anymore.

Lorelei slid off her bra straps and pulled the bra out through her shirt before tossing it into her room. “Have you called Alice?”

“Yeah, she sends me straight to voicemail, won’t answer my texts either.”

What’s her fucking deal? Santi had talked to Will about the fact Alice had forced Benny to cut most of his contact with Laci, who Benny had previously proudly called his best friend. Santi had hoped Will would say something to Ben, but Will took the stance that they were not Benny and Laci’s parent’s, and didn’t need to set up playdates. Lorelei had been very proud of him for setting a boundary. She liked, sometimes even loved his friends, but they all could use a few boundaries.

Will was pacing, clearly in distress and an obvious mental loop that was going to keep Will up all night. She wasn’t the best at comfort, but she could be practica. “Well, let’s go to his house.”

He stopped his pacing to look at her, and even in the shitty fluorescence his eyes were striking. She vividly remembers then staring up at her with nothing but wonder as she rode him- fuck, consentrait.

“Really? I know you’re tired-”

She waved him off. “It was a busy day, I’m pretty wired. It’ll take a few hours for me to fall asleep anyway.” She said, swollen feet throbbing in pain, feeling like she could lay down and be asleep before her head hit the pillow.

“I mean… I can do it myself. You should go rest, you need-”

Lorelei grabbed his keys. “Are you coming?”

“BEN!” Will shouted, banging on his door. Benny’s light was on and had car in the drive way, but no answer. “Fuck, something’s wrong, I can feel it…” He typed in Ben’s house code and entered the house. “Ben? You alright man?”

He wasn’t in the entry room or living area, but when Will rounded the corner and the kitchen came into view, the pair of legs with jeans bunched at the ankles caused his panic to spike “BEN!” Will ran to him, finding a passed out Ben in a state of undress, white underwear covering his butt, jeans at his ankles and a black shirt tangled up in his arms and face and the smell of puke permeating the air.

Will and Lorelei’s medical kicked in. Lorelei went for his shirt, knowing the puke wouldn’t help Will with his germophobia and Will set Ben into recovery position as more puke spilled out of his mouth. Not a good sign. “Ben! Ben, you need to wake up, man!” His voice croaked with emotion as he tried to wake the unconscious man.

Lorelei dialed 911. “Is he breathing?”

He wasn’t listening. “Ben! Come on!” He pulled his brother into his arms.

“WILL!” Lorelei shouted at him as she tried to speak to the 911 operator. “If he’s not breathing, you need to do CPR!” She told the operator the emergency and the address. She declined needing CPR instruction but set the phone down still on the line in case she needed to update. “Will, he needs-”

Ben began coughing and sputtering when Will slapped his back, hard.

“Ow.” A drunk Ben mumbles, but is breathing.

“Oh thank god” Breathing a sigh of relief, Will pulls Ben in closer, burying his face in Benny’s neck. He was okay. “Jesus, Ben! What the hell!”

Benny was still barely conscious, so they wanted to take him to the hospital anyway in case he had alcohol poisoning… Look at him better, Will could see he had a busted lips.

“Alice…” He murmurs. “She broke up with me… she…”

“We can talk later Ben, right now I need you to tell me if you’ve taken anything.”

“Mmmhphhmph” In comprehensible murmurs.

Will lightly tapped his face to get his attention, but the gesture made Benny gasp, attempting to scramble away from Will. “Hey! Hey, Ben, it’s me, it’s okay! I just need you to talk to me!”

For a moment, Benny’s eyes were wide and alert. He looked scared, and it took a lot of scare Ben… but when he saw it was Will, he relaxed. Will would take care of everything. Will would keep him safe. He always did. Ben’s eyes unfixed again.

“Pills…” then he was unconscious again, head flopping back in Will’s grasp.

That was bad. Lorelei watched as Will shouted, trying to get his attention, trying ask what fucking pills, why did he take them and so on.

“Will…” She tried to say. If he took pills, especially if he was going through a break up… knowing Benny’s past history with poor mental health, this might have been a suicide attempt.

“Ben, please… c’mon Benny talk to me…” Will’s eyes were tearing up, and Lorelei thought she was about to watch Ben die right there. Will’s love for his brother and panic he was feeling was clouding his ability to act, and Lorelei knew she had to take action to save Ben.

“Will!” She snapped, bending over and starting to adjust Ben in Will’s grip. Ben was 6’3 and heavy with his muscle, so it was hard but Will got the message. They needed Ben to throw up the pills he took.

They get him into position, bending him over and Will puts his hand to Ben’s mouth that already has vomit… then pulls it away to wipe his hands.

“Will, you need to act now.”

“I know! I know just…” He goes to try again, getting his fingers in there but retracting and wiping his hand again. “He already threw up didn’t he?” It was not enough vomit to extract what he potentially took.

After this, they were going to have a serious talk about Will’s germophobia. She wasn’t judging him; she knew he could do it if she wasn’t there and as someone who struggled with a severe eating disorder most of her youth, Lorelei knew how painful obsessions and compulsions could be. Eating disorders and OCD are often comorbid. Anything that was strong enough to make him hesitate on life-saving treatment for his precious baby brother must be so painful… but right now, there wasn’t time for empathy. Benny could be dying.

“Move.” Lorelei knelt by Ben, her pregnant belly making it difficult but not stopping her. “You hold him, bend him over, yeah like that.”

“Lore-”

She wasn’t listening. Lorelei jammed two fingers down Benny’s throat, only briefly moving her hand to the side to allow the vomit to escape, then going back in. Her arms were covered in the disgusting solution, the extraction splattering on her legs. Lorelei saw no pills, but that didn’t necessarily mean much. When there was nothing left to throw up, the red and blue lights were at his doorstep.

Lorelei took her light jacket and gave Ben’s bare chest a wipe down once over. “Take him to the ambulance, go with him, I’ll meet you there.”

Will scooped his baby brother up, all 6 feet of him. He turned to say something to Lorelei but she told him to go. They’d talk later. He looked guilt stricken, clearly hurt and feeling like a failure for not doing what he could. Lorelei smile softly at him and he headed out the door.

Lorelei took care of things here.

She wasn’t really religious. Vietnam itself practiced largely folk religions, and both her parents didn’t have anything to do with the religions of their parents… she knew now this was quiet common with the second generation in immigration. Her step dad’s family was buddhist, but it was more nominally than anything, but she did enjoy the philosophy. In short, she wasn’t sure what she believed, if anything… but she hoped whatever was out there took care of Ben.

Never in her life did she imagine she’d be taking care of men like this, cleaning up a kitchen full of vomit and gross clothing, packing up a bag of essentials for both Benny and Will… if this was an attempt, Ben would be getting put on a 72 hour hold. He’d want a few books. She never thought she’d take a little time to do Ben’s dishes so that they didn’t rot while he was gone.

But lately… it didn’t feel like she was a woman doing submissive things for a man because she was a woman and they were men. She did it because she cared about Will, and she cared about Benny. Seeing Benny like that made her sad… When she first started hanging around their group, Lorelei wouldn’t understand Laci and Santi at all. She didn’t understand how Laci could be happy in her position, so dependant on Santiago for money, cooking for him, cleaning, it all seemed so… motherly.

But as time went on, she started to see it different. Laci was largely dependant on Santi for money, yes, but Santi never held it over her. She didn’t have to ask permission for normal purchases, and bigger purchases were decided on together. She did a lot of the housework, yes, probably a majority of it, but Santi was building a whole ass addition to their house, took care of their car, mowed the lawn… And the cooking? Well, Laci loved to cook, and it wasn’t like Santi was afraid to put something together or do dishes… She understood now that the things Laci did for Santiago were not because they were expected of her as a woman, they were because she loved him, she wanted to care for him. She wanted to see Santi happy and healthy and Santi wanted the same for her.

Lorelei had never had someone outside her brother and sister she cared enough about to want to take care of them… but in this moment she realized that was Will to her, that was Ben, that was Laci and Jana and Frankie and yes, even Santi. Santi had been ready to throw hands for her at Mr. Miller’s funeral, and Lorelei would throw them right back for him.

They were a family she never thought she’d have.

Her phone chimed.

William Miller: They pumped his stomach. Benny was conscious for a while, said he hit his lip on the counter when he fell trying to undress. Says all he took was melatonin to go to sleep, I’m not sure I believe him. I hope you’re at home and asleep. Thank you for everything tonight.

He thought she just… went home?

*Calling William Miller*

“Hello?”

“Hey, William, I didn’t go home.”

“Oh. Where are you?”

“At Ben’s? I was cleaning up and going to head over. I wouldn’t leave you both like that.”

“No, Lore it’s okay, I want you to rest-”

“I can rest later. I’m on my way now with some things for both of you. Is he awake?”

Will signed over the phone. “No, he’s out again like a light. I’m gonna stay the night here. In the morning I’m gonna try and commit him. I don’t know if he’s lying about trying to kill himself or not but I can’t risk it.”

“Okay, text me where you are and I’ll come find you. Need anything from walmart or something?”

“Clean clothes.”

“Already packed some of Ben’s for you.”

“You get me.”

When she arrived, Will was awake and sitting slumped on a chair, watching Ben and listening to the melodic beep of his monitors. She pulled up a chair, Will didn’t have the energy to stand and greet her, but he welcomed the warm body that slide right next to him.

“He stable?” She asked.

“Yeah, doctors said it didn’t look like he took anything other than melatonin, but they want to monitor him over night. They said if he’s not willing to commit himself, they can’t make him.”

Will was not happy with that. How was he supposed to sleep at all knowing Ben was like this? Even if he didn’t try to kill himself, he was clearly as a low point to be drinking so much. Fucking Alice. He knew she was a bad idea.

“He say why they broke up?”

“No, but my guess is that she’s a fucking cunt.”

Oh. “You wanna tell me why you hate her?” Lorelei coaxed his head to lay on her shoulder and he was too tired to fight it. 5 months pregnant, she was not comfortable in the shitty hospital chair, but Will needed her right now.

“She was awful to him in high school. She fucking lead the crusade on bullying him for being gay. He wasn’t even out yet but… bullies always seem to know. Knew before I did, anyway. I thought they were just being shitty.” He paused to yawn. “He had this friend, Cameron… more than a friend. It was… complicated. In 2003, everything like that was complicated. I don’t know if you remember Matthew Shepperd’s death…”

“I do. Awful.”

She felt Will nod. “Yeah, that was in 98’ and… I don’t know if Ben knew what he was back then, but I remember it having an effect on him. Our dad had some… words to say about it. Ben and him broke out into a fight over it. I wasn’t there but I came home to Ben with a split lip, just like today. He iced it with a beer can. I remember thinking I was going to spend the rest of my life trying to keep him alive… Anyway, I think the Matthew Shepperd case scared Ben real bad, so when him and Cameron started, I dunno, seeing each other, he got real secretive about it. Didn’t even tell me, and he told me everything, I thought.”

“What happened to Cameron?”

“He turned 18. He was working on the farm nearly full time. Was good at what he did, too. My dad liked him more than me and Ben” He chuckled slightly. “He wouldn’t if he knew what they were doing on the barn roof, but that’s neither here nor there. Cameron had a pretty shitty home life so when he graduated he was supposed to move into the barnhouse and work for my dad, then when Ben graduated they were going to announce they were together and leave. I didn’t know that last part for years. All I knew was the day Cameron was supposed to come, he never showed. The next day Ben went to his grandparents- who he was living with- and checked on him, they said he left home. Just up and left. It was the first time since middle school I’d seen Ben cry. Was up half the night tryna make sure he didn’t do anything to himself.” Will sighed. “He didn’t have another long term partner until Alice.”

“Why would Ben be with her if she bullied him?”

Will shrugged. He never understood Ben. Never pretended too. “Ben see’s the best in people. Our leader on Delta, Tom, he was an asshole… Ben loved him though, thought of him like a dad. And Santi… before Laci, Santi wasn’t always the nicest. Ben had a crush on Santi too.”

He could feel her laugh. “What is it about Santi that’s got everyone wrapped around their finger.”

He laughed back. “I dunno, he’s certainly not my type.” Will could feel himself drifting to sleep. He tried to stay awake. Ben needed him… but Lorelei’s touch was soothing.

“And just what is your type, William?”

He couldn’t help it. He was so fucking tired, so exhausted, he couldn’t think straight. He wished he could tell her, make her know how much he loved her, how badly he wanted to be with her… his hand reached to caress her stomach with the back of his hand, feeling where his daughter, his Chloe, was growing in the safety of the woman he loved. “Pretty, short, hot tempered brunettes, apparently.”

He couldn’t see her facial expression, or feel her body language, but he could hear her soft voice as she wrapped an arm around him, rubbing his shoulder. “Sleep, handsome. Get some rest.”

“But Ben-”

“I’ll watch Ben. You just get some sleep.”

And sleep he did.

*******************************

I'm well aware Im writing this for like. 4 people only but I DONT CARE. Lorelei is so precious to me and I will see her through! She deserves a happy life with Will and her baby

A lil bit of a confession?!?!?! either way, Lorelei is able to show up for will and her new family <3

she loves them <3 and poor benny boo...

@pimosworld @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @missdictatorme @milkymoon2483 @poeedameronn@itspdameronthings @miraclesabound @babymills16 @rayslittlekitten

#William miller #will ironhead miller #triple frontier #William miller x oc #William miller smut #william miller angst #William miller comfort #fem oc #triple frontier fanfiction

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0nly-fear · 6 months ago

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Names

Every little girl dreams of getting married. Of her one day in the sun where she is the most important girl in the world. When she finally is viewed as sucsessful by her friends and family and takes his name.

But names matter, don't they darling?

I will not give mine away to just any random whore so easily. And as you are now isn't good enough. Prove to me you are worth it. Let me corrupt you into being my own personal cocksleeve; that's all a woman is after all. Let me mold you into the object that I deem worthy of my desire. Us? We? Ours? No.... I. Me. Mine. Tears of joy at the alter? Wong again, darling. You are signing your life, everything you are, over to me completely. I will have cries of terror. You will sob and wretch as you accept the role you were forced into. That I forced upon you. Your tears will ruin the hours of meticulous work to make you perfect in front of everyone you've ever even barely respected.

And you will be all the more brilliantly beautiful for it.

Only then will I finally grant you your oldest and deepest desires. I will wipe away the last vestiges of the old "you" that person, that thing that no longer exists. I will prove to the world you chose to submit to me, you chose to abandon any pride you had for your family name just for the opportunity to finally have mine.

Yet, that isnt quite right, is it dear?

That name you currently use isn't worthy of mine. It is used; broken and worthless. A memory of the failure you were before me. Don't worry, I will decide upon new one for you. You don't mind, do you Ami? Who's going to complain, your mother? You decided to let me replace her family name with mine the first time you spread your legs for me like the good little whore you are. Why then, would she care about your first name?

Oh, you don't like that name? Hahahaha. I don't care.

Whatever name I give you will be better than the one you used to have. I like it, its cute and silly and diminutive. It fits you.

Oh? Your witness will stop it?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You're so completely adorable when you're desperate.

The maid of honnor -your best friend- sold you for a two dollar raise. She already signed the license with your new name, Ami. I warned you all your friends were cunts. But of course, the failure that you were, you didnt belive me. Now you will finally realize I am the only one able to see your value.

Shhhh Ami, dont cry. You will forget your old name along with all the trauma, all the disappointment and failure behind it. Save those tears for tomorrow.

You'll need them.

#Names #Forced wedding #Yes you will be pregnant when you say “I do”#shotgun wedding #corruption kink #bd/sm breeding #submisive and breedable #daddy's good girl #scandal

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inazuma-fulgur · 1 year ago

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In pain whenever someone insists that being naked around children, like in general, is bad

No cloths = pedo (this here is slightly exaggerated but some people actually say that. With words.)

Because nakes = sexual and sexual = bad and impure and children = pure and innocent and without agency

Waiting for the day where changing your childs diaper also becomes sexual and pedo unless *insert arbitrary metric*. If I had to imagine it'd probably be more terf shit, a la all men are horny monsters or only parents of the same SEX as the child should be allowed to.

I will nopt discuss further complications around childbirth because none of this makes sense anyway

I find it especially jarring when other queer people make arguments like that.

Like, y'all can't look at other people and be normal about it. It's not weird to be naked, you are weird for being unable to confront nudity without having secondary thoughts about it. You are the one uncomfortable with it so no one else is allowed to be comfortable with it?

Thinking about FKK (something I don't even know an english term for. Mom told me she and her parents often went to fkk places, because older people still found nudity more normal than we do I'd guess. Maybe they were an outlier but I can't shake the feeling that the younger people get the weirder and less tolerant they get of nudity and other peoples bodies.)

Every year when there's kink at pride discourse I can't help but think about how I wouldn't give two shits about people fucking in public, like it wouldn't be any more annoying that people blasting music and being loud, that's it. It definitely wouldn't smell as bad as some other stuff, like fireworks for example.

I also can't help but think about one of my friends from school who very amused told an anecdote where she went into her parents room while they were having sex when she was a little kid. Shocker, nothing happened to her. Plain seeing sex doesn't hurt, unless you already have been traumatized or smth. Also most of these super weird puritanical ideas only work under the assumption that children have the very same understanding of everything us adults do. Which they don't. How could they, they're learning everything about the world still. Explain it to them so that they can keep themselves safe, you'll have to do it regardless some day.

Go listen to what they're curious about, teach them at the pace they want, answer what they ask.

Because even if I say they don't have the same understanding of things us adults do, that doesn't mean children aren't smart and capable of understanding the bigger world, expanding their horizon.

People like that, in my opinion, just hate children.

Want to control them. Mold them into copies of themselves, perfect what they feel isn't perfect about themselves.

That's not how you treat another person, give kids agency and let them explore stuff. Let children be curious and nosy.

Teach them about consent, because consent isn't just sexual.

Teach them general things that are useful and good.

Teach them about their bodies and signs to look out for, built trust so that when they hit puberty and their needs and experiences change they will talk to you, ask and share what they feel and see. And then expand their horizons more

Please never raise children with preset ideas of how a well raised child has to turn out, with ideas of a fixed process with a fixed result, where certain things are off limits and shouldn't be allowed because they could lead to people growing up who don't fit your personal ideal(s).

Diversity of thought does not mean "diversity until I can't personally understand/relate anymore, beyond that it's evil". The only evil thing is you limiting the beauty and vastness of humanity

Children won't ever fit into your preconceived notions and that's a good thing, we're constantly learning and ideas are changing, and I'm not blaming you for growing older and having bigger more pressing worries and growing out of touch a bit, just don't denie others because of that.

The only way for children around you to be exactly like you is for them to grow up under the exact same conditions as you. But the world around you is changing constantly, even if you feel like YOU are a constant I assure you, you aren't.

Not even siblings or even even twins have that work out for them. Everyone makes different experiences, spends their time differently, cares about different shit. For better and for worse.

Embrace the potential for the worse, because it will lead to the better future you dream of.

If bad ideas are off limits and can't be talked about those ideas can't be challenged.

And if new ideas can't be brought forth nothing better can come into existence.

Yes new ideas will be not just good, there are bad ones. But that's why we discuss and make an effort, that's why we try things to see whether they work or fail.

We can't create the perfect world through logic in our heads and then execute it. Because humans aren't rational, logic is kinda fake even if it isn't, embrace that. Failure is human, failure leads to growth.

Many good things came from experimentation and theory but also from testing and trial and error, brute forcing stuff. Taking what works and optimizing it. Taking what didn't work and tweaking it slightly or taking notes on what has to be avoided in the future.

I love humans, I am human

I wish we would all stop dehumanizing each other constantly

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thesalvationofdoriangray · 2 years ago

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Brain Squeezd, Heart Freed, and Love Seized

youtube

So I went to this church. I liked this girl but...one time I had a dream and to my surprise it was about another girl. That's when I knew naturally I like the girl in my dream instead. I was baffled. Dreams can be a truth that lies deep in your soul. It was peculiar because the girl I had a dream about was so different than what I've experienced and desired. She was a leader. She was gentle. She was very spiritually mature. She wasn't the most beautiful but her soul was unlike any other. She had so much character. She served in the church. She was humble, modest, and to honest be she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in every aspect. She reminded me of Jesus. She tried but it wasn't time. From then on and in conjunction with my experience from all the girls in the past, I realized what was true beauty. That boat has long sailed though. She's taken. That's just how my cookie crumbles.

youtube

I work at the food bank. People love me there and I love them. There is so many girls and I get a lot of attention. I'm handsome and have a heart of gold ;). I'm capable and I have eternal goodness planted by my beloved savior. I'm not dating now though. I have a vision of who I'm going to be five, ten, or fifteen years down the road. No one shall hinder me you heard! I have the best mentors. All powerful, spiritual, rich, and successful. In the past, I gave my heart to beautiful girls only to be smashed into a million glittering pieces. Those girls are called dream killers. The next one will careen the skies of heaven with me. She will be a dream builder. My fault though because I allowed them into my life. It's important to take accountability. Back then, I wanted them to fill a hole that only the love of Jesus could fill. I won't lie, I get a lot of attention. One of the aunties this last work day recommended setting me up with someone she knew because she thought we'd be a good fit. She said she makes a lot of money and is highly successful in the tech industry. HAAAA!!! Is that suppose to be attractive? I'm down to try friendship first. Also, my richness comes from my character, experience, and personality. I have a lot of money saved up for my future wife and kids but no one knows. Is she going to accept me for my chaotic past and the fact I don't have what society so dearly covets YET? I'm a late boomer so that makes me 25 but I'm an old soul so that makes me back at 34. I'm cut from a different cloth my love. I've seen things your mind couldn't fathom. The thing is I've realized my strengths and weaknesses. I'm incredible in my own unique way and all that career and achievement is trivial. I'm going to have that all but I have a vision. I will be even greater than that stereotypical generic BS. You remember this moment that I proclaim. I know my potential. The woman that I want reminds me of Ruth and Esther. My future love is a Proverbs 31 woman. We shall be David and Bathsheba or better yet, Aquila and Priscilla. Romeo and Juliet? AHAHAH, that's garbage. God will mold, build, and use me to his liking. I will exist as a vessel of God touching the hearts of millions. I will be his COMPLETELY. There is a beautiful girl at work. She volunteers 3 times a week. She's quiet and never talks. I finally introduced myself. I examined her fingers like Romeo gazes at Juliet and I see no ring. I asked her why she serves? Is it because she is bored at home? I like her answer. "I'm comfortable at home but I wanted to serve." Heart of servitude! That's sexy as hell. If you were my GF, I would have kissed you right there and then.

God will put a lovely woman in my life and if all else fails and he doesn't, NO WORRIES. For I will serve him and I will know that my purpose is greater than human romance and rather I exist to spread the glory of my Messiah to the ends of the Earth.

I ain't tripping because Jesus carries me through the parted Red Sea, the wilderness of human malevolence, and the storm of my own chaotic mind.

Lucifer, I will smash you and your puny army to pieces. I will refine those pieces in the love of Christ and build a ethereal bridge so that I traverse the righteous path all the way to the glistening heavens.

F you Satan!

#Youtube

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ssentimentals · 2 years ago

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dating dk feels like...

walking on the flower road. he is acceptance without judgement, gentle touch with all the care in the world; it's never hard to be vulnerable with him because he encourages it, wants you to spill your whole heart to him so he can put it back together, each piece sewed back to another one with love threads.

seokmin is a literal embodiment of the quote 'how lucky you are to have someone you can tell all about your bad behaviors without them thinking that you are a bad person, but because they know that what is inside is purer and more beautiful'.

('mistakes don't make us bad,' he says quietly, stroking your back. 'we are only humans, we all have ego, we all make bad judgements sometimes.'

yours sobs turned into little sniffs at this point as you calmed down from your breakdown. rubbing your eyes, you meet his gaze and almost cry again because the amount of love you find there feels completely undeserved now. you can barely breathe, thinking about what kind of impression he must have of you now. 'seokkie,' you call, hiccuping. 'please don't think bad-'

'shh,' he pulls you back to him and lets you wet his t-shirt with your tears. 'i don't think bad of you, how could i? you are my everything.' he stops when you lightly swat at his chest. chuckling, he grabs your hand and kisses your fingers. 'what? i know you and you are more than this situation.' he feels a small kiss placed on his shoulder and smiles. 'you are my everything.')

he is the 'yeah i haven't slept more than one hour but no worries, i'm coming with you' and 'i can stay on the line as much as you need, tell me everything' type of guy; his love pours from him in waves and you can feel it even through the distance. his heart is big and it wants to fit all of you, wants to keep you close but not with desire to lock you away but with wish to treasure and take care. he is the furtherest guy from displaying any controlling behavior; he wants you to be you and be happy.

('i want to do it but..' you shift from side to side, unsure. 'it sounds a bit crazy to be honest.'

'it does,' he agrees and quickly adds before you can start overthinking: 'but if it'll make you happy then i'm all for it.'

your eyes shine brighter at this, lightning up whole town. 'really? you don't mind?' you rush towards him, lopping your arms around his torso. 'really-really?'

seokmin laughs, addicted to your happiness. he nods, kissing you soundly. 'really and i want to do it with you. crazy things are better when shared, right?')

dates with seokmin are filled with lightness; there's nothing forced and he just makes it so easy. easy to accept that perfection doesn't exist, easy to face your fears, easy to speak up. he is hope, he is light at the end of the tunnel, he is a lighthouse in the middle of the ocean; he can handle a lot and all he asks for is to be appreciated for it.

('did i go overboard with my positivity?' he asks on your way back home. by his solemn tone you can tell that this has been on his mind for a while. 'i can get annoying sometime-'

'no,' you interrupt sharply, angry that he even thinks so. 'no, everyone needed that, trust me. didn't see how hopeful you made everybody?'

he looks at you, trying to see in your eyes whether you're lying or not. when he realizes that you're not, he relaxes, smiling. 'most importantly, did i make you start thinking positively too?'

you nod, because he did, because that's what he does to you all the time. 'you gave me hope again.')

he's a bit shy, awkward in some things too, but he is devoted - your relationship is a priority for him and he is ready to shift his life around in order to accommodate you in the best way. he molds himself around you but he does so without losing himself in it.

dating seokmin is like laying on the beach and having tides lightly sweep over you in a gentle reminder of themselves. this is how it is with seokmin - you have a solid ground to lay on and his love encompasses you all but without overwhelming you. it's peaceful, it's tender, it's sweet.

a/n: written for loveliest @pepperonidk <3

tag list: @pearlygraysky @woozionascooter @smalliechelle @jaetaimjadore @yeow6n (let me know if you want to be added!)

here is the link to my all my other works and come say hi <3 - nini

#seokmin drabble #seokmin fluff #lee seokmin #seventeen seokmin #seventeen dk #seokmin x reader #dk imagine #seventeen reaction #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagine #seventeen dokyeom #why it is so hard to write about your ults why words are never enough with them whyyyy #seokmin is basically the brightest sun and he will shine so brightly for you!!! but he needs you to look over so he doesn't get burnt out #i'm not sure if i wrote correctly the flowery road thing...you know how they have this phrase in korea like they use it in all songs

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redheadspark · 2 years ago

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for receiver to catch sender gazing adoringly at them. With Azriel x Reader perhaps at starfall when they are all dressed up and Azriel has never seen them that dressed up and is shook that that’s his mate??

A/N: SO CUTE! I love this! This one is nice and short! I hope you like it ! Thanks anon

Starstruck

Summary: Mor made you wear the dress, thinking it would make your mate smile. It made his heart soar instead

Warnings: Fluffy fluff!

"Mor...I don't know about this dress..."

"Oh come on! It's perfect for starfall!"

You hesitated, seeing the gown hung on a hanger in front of you that was dangling from Mor's nimble fingers as she smiled in glee. The dark green material with the glimmering beads, the long sleeves that were see through to make the arms glitter and shine, and the beading along the bottom of the dress to look lie vines and leaves. It was breathtaking and gorgeous, a stunning dress that was one in a million.

But you...you were rather plain You were never a fan of glamorous dresses. You were more on the plain side, cotton dresses and sweaters instead of showing skin and cleavage. It was never your taste to be showing skin, not that it was a not thing to do since Mor was drop dead gorgeous anyways. But you didn't feel like you did fit that mold.

Azriel saw you as beautiful. He would tell you all the time that you were beautiful to gaze at. Of course, he was never materialistic or was about appearances himself, he looked more into the soul of a person than their eye color or the shine in their hair. With you, he claimed your soul was beyond good and filled with joy, making him happy when you two were courting one another. Then you found out he was your mate, such a shock that the Spymaster of Night Court would be your mate. You, a plain fae with barely anything to her name but a bright smile and a big heart. Yet to Azriel, it was meant to be. He never hesitated to accept the bond, and you loved him more than anything.

Your mating ceremony alone was small and private, you sporting a white simple dress with the Inner Circle as witnesses. Mor gave you grief for the choice of your dress, yet Azriel saw you as a beautiful creature, his beautiful mate and the love of his life. You didn't care about the dresses you wore, or any dress for that matter. All that mattered was that Azriel loved you for who you are and who you are inwardly.

Now, at Starfall in Velaris, the second one since you two were married, Mor had a plan up her sleeve.

"Come on, please?!" Mor asked, almost begging as she was looking at you with her big brown eyes and gestured to the dress in hand. You looked from her to the gown again. It was such a elegant dress that seemed far too fancy for someone like you. You had that doubt in your mind that you could pull this off, thinking that perhaps you wouldn't.

Perhaps she sensed your worry on your face and with your energy, Mor reaching out to take your hand in hers and squeezing it.

"You are going to be beautiful and breathtaking in this dress," She explained to you calmly, her voice was soothing and low but her eyes were true and consistent with you, "Your husband and mate already loves you beyond words, and he'll be floored to see his wife in this dress. You deserve it, it matches that beautiful heart you have,"

You knew Azriel loved you, he loved you more than anything or anyone in his life. He gave you fresh flowers every weekend when he went to the market, helped you with massive projects that you were handling in the city with no grumblings heard from his lips, and he would simply enjoy your company more than others even as a loner. He knew your moods and times of stress, willing to help heal you. Azriel was the most devoted husband anyone could eve encounter, and you desperately tried to be on the same level as his wife.

So this dress should not be so bad after all, should it?

"It's gonna start soon, come on! Quite your fussing, you're drop dead gorgeous!" Mor said to you as she watched you fuss over your dress one more time. It was smooth and snug against your curves and arms, showing the right amount of skin and glow with the beads as your hair was long and in loose curls behind you, pinned back with jeweled pins that were gifts from Azriel on your wedding day. It matched the dark green, a perfect accent to the outfit as you nervously smile and looked at the mirror one more time. The dark lipstick, slight blush and cool eyeshadow popped your face out a bit more and almost gave you more of a alluring look. You looked like a completely different person. But it was exciting. Mor was wearing a revealing but tasteful red attire, a nice number for her since it was something she would wear all the time if she could. So you followed her down the hallway of the House of Wind, seeing the balcony already filled with some of the party members in attendance in their formal clothes and glasses in hand. The night sky was pitch black, mere moments before Starfall would start and the stars would be illuminated, shooting across the sky in splendor. You saw some people there, some were visiting from other courts that were friends of High Lord and High Lady Rhysand and Feyre and others were officers from the Illyrian camp that were invited for the night. But you eyes were zoned in on the one winged being, whom was sporting his own black suited attire for the event with rolled up sleeves on the dress shirt and a waistcoat that was snug on his slim waist. HIs dark hair was tamed down to a point, and his bright eyes were almost a as dazzling as the three stars above the mountaintop closely.

Your mate, who saw you and his froze still.

Time stoped then, you standing in one side of the balcony with Mor next to you as Azriel was next to Cassian, both of your eyes on one another. The way he gazed at you, the sole look he was giving you, it made you think back to the smaller intimate moments that you two shared together without anyone around. You loved how he would stare at you and how he would watch you do anything. Whether you were pulling weeds with sweat on your face, baking muffins early in the morning covered in flour, or training with Cassian and Nesta in some hand to hand with a growl on your lips. He always looked at you as if you were an angel.

This look, in your gown, was just the same.

He walked over to you, his face stone still and his eyes bright as he was zoned in on you like a prize to have, or prey to snare. The smirk on his lip and the rise of his cheeks were evident as he finally stood in front of you, dinking you all in and having you almost feel exposed in front of him. You said nothing, but the smile he was giving you was enough.

"You are radiant, my dear wife," He said to you, almost sounding breathless as the Starfall began behind you. The night sky lit up with stars flying through, high arches were bringing blues and greens into the black sky as both of you were tinted in the colors of the stars. You saw green on his cheeks and in his eyes and hair, you gazing in adoration as well as he peered down at you. Even the tint of the green lights flashing above you made your green dress glow a bit, making you almost look like a star yourself. Azriel reached down to wrap you in your arms, kissing your cheeks soundly as the night sky brought more joy to the pair of you. You leaned into him, kissing his own cheeks in return as you two only focused on each other, no one else.

Azriel was starstruck, and it wasn't from the stars dancing in the sky but the one in his arms.

The End.

#azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel x oc #acotar fanfiction #actoar #acotar fandom

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cherrykindness · 4 years ago

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wild tweets |

pairing: Harry Styles x Actress!Reader

summary: as newlyweds, you and harry read thirsty comments for buzzfeed.

warning: it's thirsty tweets, so below there is adult humor 😳

"It's a bright, sunny morning in Los Angeles, and there's nothing I want more than to be on BuzzFeed and read wild tweets alongside my husband."

"Thirsty tweets, babe." Harry corrected, laughing out loud with the producers behind the cameras.

"Thirsty Tweets." You said quickly, putting your hand over your mouth to stifle a giggle. "I'm terrible at that, I'm sorry. Can we start over?"

"Let's take a break for one to two minutes. You've given us a great introduction, Y/N."

You shook your head, smiling shyly before turning to Harry, who was already watching you with that easy smile at the corner of his lips. You liked how his hand remained firmly on yours, making those circular movements with the thumb that always served as a natural medice for your anxiety.

"You look so fucking beautiful."

The pleated dress with flounce sleeves fit you like a glove. You had made peace with the various shades of white since the wedding and knew that Harry liked to see you in that color too.

"Thank you, you're not too bad either, Styles."

You intimately suspected that Harry would always seem far beyond that "not bad" that came out as a euphemism from your mouth. He wore nothing but a pair of bell-bottom pants in a strong shade of blue and a soft vest printed with fluffy little sheep on a striped American collared shirt - in your opinion, no one could look better in farm animal clothing than Harry Styles and Princess Diana with her red "Black Sheep" sweater in the 1980s. In contrast, you knew your husband well enough to know that he was arrogant and knew exactly how hot he looked - you also made your thoughts clear enough when you kept him backstage beyond ten minutes in a rather heated kissing session.

"Are you anxious?" you asked curiously, remaining with downcast eyes fixed on the strokes that remained assiduous on your warm skin. "To read about how the whole internet dreams of fucking my wife?! Of course." Harry joked, leaning over to leave a small one on your cheek. "We agree on that, don't we? Although I'm a little nervous, I'm really interested to know all the crazy things they say about you. Everyone knows you're mine at the end of the day, that's enough."

At the end of the break, you and Harry made a silent agreement that you should be the first to pick up one of the scattered papers in the red pot. There were quite a significant amount of tweets, and as much as you were used to reading rather sordid things about your husband on the Internet, the excitement was there as if you were wading into uncharted territory.

"I would be a good girl all year round if Santa guaranteed me a threesome with Harry and Y/N Styles on Christmas Eve." You laughed, Harry staring at the camera with an expression close to the meme of the surprised Pikachu. "You guys are incredibly nasty, I love it."

"If that was the first one, I'm really worried about the next ones." Harry commented with a little corner smile, picking the next tweet out of the bucket. "I have an entire folder on Pinterest dedicated to Harry Styles' hands, and let me tell you why: those hands are art, and art needs to be recognized."

"What- Guys, you promised you wouldn't post my anonymous tweets here." You quipped with false reproach, laughing at your own stupid joke while everyone else in the studio did the same. "But I can't blame her, honestly." Shaking your shoulders, you opened another piece of paper. "Harry Styles finally confessed that he wrote Watermelon Sugar for Y/N!!!! Are you guys imagining the same thing as me?!!!!!! 🥵🍆💦"

"Exhausted emoji, eggplant emoji, and water emoji?" Harry frowned, staring at the tweet you held up. "I imagine you're in need of a vacation somewhere refreshing and you're craving a fruit that everyone eats like it's really a vegetable."

"That reminded me of that story-" You laughed, hiding your face on the table as Harry continued to offer a poker face to the camera, struggling not to keep up with you laughter. "I'm sorry, lovie, I have to share this with the rest of the world." You stated, wiping a few tears from the corner of your eyes. "Harry always wears those fancy suits to concerts, right?! Right! Turns out he looks really hot in some, like his ass molds perfectly into those tight pants and everything. I was home that night because I wasn't feeling well enough to face the big crowds, but I was still following everything on twitter. It was a concert in London, not so far from where we lived at the time, so it was obvious that he would come home after it was over. I follow some portals that do really fast updates of pictures, videos, etc; everything that happened at Harry's concert was on my timeline in a matter of seconds. When one of these profiles uploaded a picture of him with his back to the camera in a heavily accentuated black and white suit, I quickly sent him the image along with a peach emoji and then wrote "looks good tonight". He didn't reply to me until a few hours later, of course, but I obviously didn't expect a "ready for a Fifth Avenue peach salad for dinner?" and numerous cutlery emojis."

Harry rolled his eyes comically, indulging in laughter as did everyone else who occupied the backstage area.

"I'm against the eroticization of emojis." He said between uncompensated breaths, shaking his head negatively. "Let's go to the next ones, please, I'm already feeling exposed enough here."

"I like your old-fashioned spirit, baby." You assured him with a smile, laying on the sturdy shoulder hidden under the fluffy fabric.

Harry chuckled low, leaving a little kiss on the top of your head before selecting the next paper. The fans would die when that video aired, everyone was sure. You two easily forgot the cameras when you were side by side, and the public display of affection had never been a problem.

"My life mission is to look at someone the way Harry looks at Y/N and be reciprocated the way Y/N looks at Harry, then I could die happy." Harry read. "That was very good and healthy, thank you!" He smiled. "But don't settle for death in that case, please. Just make sure to keep that person around forever."

"Awn, we got so sweet now." You made a pout. "Thank you for sending us something so cute! I really hope you find the right person soon." Sending a kiss to the camera, you moved on to the next tweet. "I wouldn't want to get a golden ticket to visit Willy Wonka's factory, I would like to get a golden ticket to actively participate in Y/N and Harry Styles' Honeymoon.

"That was creative, so I will disregard the fact that you removed my last name from my wife's name." Harry joked.

"I will always be an Y/L/N." You flashed the tongue. "We had a great Honeymoon, but I know you guys already know all about it because there are pictures all over the internet of outings that I don't even remember existed."

"Even though we chose a rather reserved city, many paparazzi still managed to photograph some of our nights there." Harry agreed. "There was one particular day when we opted to have dinner at a restaurant near the beach. Y/N had found it even before the trip, it was pretty laid back and we could spend the evening at karaoke. I don't really remember what happened, but we woke up the next day with a terrible hangover, still wearing the clothes from the dinner and with several headlines saying that I was cheating on my wife in the middle of our Honeymoon with a blue-haired italian girl."

"That wig made me sexy, man." You blinked, laughing as you remembered the situation. "It's a shame the paparazzi only got low quality images, but I swear I looked really amazing that night. Italy, I miss you."

"We're coming to the end and I haven't had to ask production for a glass of water yet, thank you to whoever selected these tweets." Harry raised his thumb to the camera, smiling before turning his gaze back to the small paper he had chosen. "Y/N could literally punch me in the face and I would just bow down and thank them for it." He laughed. "She has heavy hands, so I would rethink that choice."

"It takes strong hands to be a superheroine." You blinked gracefully, referring to your works as a Marvel actress. "I move around a lot during the night, so I'll take this lovely opportunity to say that twitter can dismiss all the malicious theories about Harry always show up with a new bruise all over his body."

"Please stop making indecent assumptions while Y/N is aggressive with me at night only unconsciously, her father has access to social media."

You laughed, clearing your throat before reading the next obscenity aloud.

"I would sell all my possessions to have Y/N sitting on my lap for ten seconds."

"Oh my God." Harry laughed out loud, throwing his head back. "I should have said that in our wedding vows."

You shook your head, laughing low as you set the tweet aside.

"That was pretty funny and cheeky, I approve."

"Okay, looks like we finally got to the last one." Harry announced, waving the paper in the air dramatically before opening it. "Harry could literally crush me with those boots while fuc- I need that glass of water." He said dumbfounded, hiding his face between his hands after throwing the tweet over his shoulder. You laughed out loud next to the organizers, and meanwhile Harry leaned his head on your bust, staring at you still with wide eyes. "Please promise that we will be careful with our future children on the internet."

#harry styles imagine #imagine1d #imagine harry styles #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry imagine

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runeterrankhaleesi · 3 years ago

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Hi ! So I know it’s the last day of February and I hope I’m not too late !

Anyways this is a request for league of legends matchup

I’m a 20 years old straight woman, I’m 155 cm (5’1 ") tall, I’m a student, I draw usually pretty girls in a stylized cartoonish style, I also sing and used to dance and I want to become an illustrator.

I love art and artistic stuff in general, I play wild rift, shower and go to uni while listening to my Spotify playlist, and I like almost any kind of music as long as the song sounds good to me.

Im an INFP-T 4w5, I’m a highly sensitive person and almost always respond to things in an exaggerated manner.

I always believed that everyone should be themselves and free, I’m very stubborn and basically an anarchist.

I’ve been bullying for 11 years straight for different reasons including theses, and the adults tried to force me to fit in the mold of society.

I used to be very loving and energetic, but as I fell into depression because of theses things I can barely recognize myself, I nearly became everything that I hated as a kid. Back then I could easily talk about myself and my personality, but now there’s not much I can say because I don’t even myself anymore, sorry 😓

I use the law of attraction, subliminals and even studied witchcraft a bit but I had to stop because of my terrible mental health and lack of motivation. It still made me manifest a ton of of things, and when I use them I feel a bit better but memories of my past strike at random times, making me feel terrible again 😭

Sorry if I said too much it’s supposed to be a matchup request not a problem talking or whatever, but that’s all I can say, as I said I can’t say much about my personality since I don’t know it anymore…

[A/N: Hello darling, oh don't worry about that, I'm just glad you felt comfortable enough to share this much with me, you do not have to apologize.]

I pair you with...

PANTHEON (ATREUS)!

Why? Because...

Pantheon or should I say, Atreus is a freedom fighter like you. He doesn't let anything or anyone take control of him, not after the incident with the Aspect of War. He made a vow to stand against all Aspects, Ascended, and demons. You would bond over the fact that you two fight to be your true selves and live however you want in a society that tries to contain you. He likes that you're a rebel like him.

He tells you that your past doesn't and shouldn't define who you are so he looks past the fact that you've been bullying for 11 years straight despite having a strong dislike about it. He encourages you to be a better person by helping you do good things, simple things like helping an old lady cross the street or helping a person carry their groceries.

One thing that he's amazed about you is your perseverance. Atreus knows that you've been through a lot, your will to live after battling with depression and struggling to find yourself again after you've changed is something he praises you for. You're strong and he makes sure to tell you that.

And he enjoys taking care of you, it's just something he prides on doing. He keeps your mental and physical health in check, reminding you that you don't have to go through difficult things alone ever again now that you have him by your side.

Atreus is a motivator for sure. He studies everything he can about your old interests and infodumps on you to motivate you. He's glad that it eventually pays off as he sees you enjoying your old hobbies. You said you like witchcraft? Guess what? Magic is prominent in the entirety of runeterra, you can ask anybody-even Atreus to teach you a thing or two about magic. He finds the sight of you getting lost in the world of creative arts to be beautiful, he loves to see the determination on your face whenever you work on something. Atreus loves and treasures every piece or drawing you make, showering with praises and of course, affection. He would give his all and support your dream of becoming an illustrator.

💝~Happy Valentines Day!~💝

#runeterrankhaleesi #league of legends #league of legends x reader #lol x reader #lol #pantheon #LMMU #lmmu #love month match up

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stray-kids-react · 4 years ago

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Making jewelry with them

Masterlist

@mariafeh

...

Bang Chan

° Walked through your apartment doors, arms filled but buckets of string and many different assortments of beads.

"The craft store had a sale on."

° Makes you a bracelet with a cute wolf charm in the middle, just so you have one more thing to remind you of him.

° Ends up staring at you rather then finishing his bracelets, loving your focused pout and giddy behavior when you finish one.

° You kept working on this bracelet secretly, not wanting him to ruin the sickly sweet surprise you had prepared for him.

"Baby I want to seeeee~"

° When you finally finished the bracelet, you still kept it behind your back. Asking him to close and cover his eyes, walking behind him just in case he decided to peek.

° You placed the black and white bracelet on his opened palm, the letters arranged to say 'Forever'.

° He loved the colors and how much thought you out into it, but wondered why you put forever on it out of all things.

° That is until you raised your wrist to reveal the letters spelling 'Together'.

"Aw, baby~ you're too cute. C'mere I want to kiss your face."

Lee Know

° You were both bored, wanting to do something cute and simple without having to go out into the cold weather.

"Let's make bracelets."

° You knew he secretly just wanted to make bracelets with the cat's names on it. But you didn't mind, you loved the cats too.

° You began to head Minho giggle to himself as he assembled another bracelet. He hid it behind his arms, still chuckling.

° Once he finally finished, he cupped it in his hands and asked for your attention. A smug smirk stretched across his soft lips.

"I hope you *chuckle* like it."

° The cool beads fitted into your palm perfectly, you looked down to see the start of a word. My Second Love, you soon realized the meaning of the bracelet.

° You pouted cutely as the cats came first once again, but you could stay mad at him for being an adorable cat father.

° Minho kissed your pout away, leaning closer and closer until you pushed onto the floor of your apartment.

° His smug smirk returned once again, this time much more apparent and sly.

"Don't pout and expect no kisses, your still my sweet lil kitten."

Changbin

° Changbin knew that the fast few weeks have been hard on you, due to the lack of time spent with him.

"Sweetheart, want to hang out?"

° The way your eyes lit up with extreme amounts of joy, melted and broke his heart at the same time.

° He loved hanging out with you, swooning over your small habits and quirks. But he felt bad for not doing it more often.

° You stuck your tongue out for the tenth time as you tried to tie the bracelet together, failing once more to your disappointment.

"Here let me help you."

° You both never realized how close you were until he looked up at you, his hot breath fanning across your skin. Before you could even say a word, his lips were on yours.

° This kiss wasn't usual from Changbin, it was very cautious as if you were going to break. He only did this when apologizing.

° You knew something was eating him up inside, just by the glossy layer on his eyes. He looked on the edge of tears.

° Changbin didn't have to explain, you just held him close, knowing he needed it.

"I'm so sorry, I really don't deserve you sometimes. I love you y/n."

Hyunjin

° You were having a tough day, being miles away from your family. And not being able to visit them due to the risk of the virus.

"Why don't we send them something?"

° Hyunjin was your positivity throughout these tough times, encouraging you to keep moving forward with him.

° He placed the buckets of beads from art projects that never happened, and handed you the different colors of string.

° Hyunjin played your favorite movie on for background noise, sometimes getting lost in the scenes and dropping his bracelets.

"You look so cute when you're focused."

° His messy ponytail lost small strands of hair that kept blocking his vision. He constantly shook his hair away, making you giggle at the annoyed scoffs he made.

° As he finally finished his bracelet, he gently tugged at the sleeve of your sweater. Asking to place it across your wrist.

° You smiled gently as the mint green and brown beads spelled out 'My Home'. His lips landing gently across your head.

"Well get through this together, I'm just glad we have each other during this."

Han

° After winning an award for Back Door, you wanted to give them something as a congratulations gift.

"Pumpkin, what are you up to? ~"

° You showed off the five bracelets you've already finished, each holding a different symbol and different color patterns.

° Jisung's face beamed only pure joy, seeing your criss crossed on the floor as you focused on congratulating them.

° He knew that none of them asked you to make these and your company was far enough, but that made it even sweeter.

"I swear you are the cutest person on earth."

° He didn't tell any of the members, knowing they'd melt just as much as he did. Especially Felix and Jeongin, since they were already quite close to you.

° For the rest of the night, Jisung ordered your favorite take out and helped you finish your adorable project.

° The next day, sent his heart into a frenzy as you shyly passed them to each member. Hoping they like the gifts.

"This is why I love you, you're just so damn cute and it ruins me."

Felix

° You and Felix were known to always do cute activities like this, even fitting in time during his busy schedules.

"Let's make some cute bracelets."

° His hair was messy from the recent dance practice, clearly tired from his hard work. Yet he still insisted to spend time with you.

° You worried that he felt the pressure of having to spend time with you, even though you reassure him that you don't mind.

° After the long silence as he concentrated on a pastel based bracelet for you, you confronted him on your concerns.

"Spending time with you calms me down."

° The beaming grin with his sweet tone, melted away all of your concerns. Giggling like one of his many admirers as he fluffed your hair playfully.

° After around bracelet 4 he began to get increasingly tired, crawling his way to your lap. Burrowing his way into your grip.

° You both just lied there quietly, playing with his hair as he places small kisses to your shoulder blade.

"Thank you for calming me down love, I truly owe you for always being so amazing."

Seungmin

° You were currently in quarantine after your landing to south Korea, only having the virtual company of your boyfriend.

"Only two more days til I can see you again."

° You laid on the carpet of your hotel room, creating a bracelet for him when you see him face to face finally.

° Seungmin ranted to you about how much he misses his fans, thanking you for making his days brighter and more pleasant.

° His messy bed head and cute glasses always sent you heart into a frenzy, wishing you were there to play with his fluffy locks.

"Is that bracelet for me darling?"

° You quickly hid the cute gift behind your back, chuckling softly as you tried to tease him on his "secret" gift from you. Seungmin laughing with you, as you failed to hide it.

° As the laughing quieted down, both of you smiled sadly. Never knowing how long two days could truly feel when waiting.

° He could see the sad look in your eyes, and wished he could just kiss all of it all better. But the only thing he could do was talk.

"Don't worry darling, the days will go by in no time. And we'll cuddle non stop."

Jeongin

° You were spending quality time with your boyfriend and your best friends, all of which happened to be in Stray Kids.

"Y/n made us some cute bracelets!"

° The excited shimmer in his eyes made all of you feel just a bit happier, his energy always contagious to anyone.

° Throughout the bucket of handmade bracelets, he searched to find the one you specifically made for him.

° An adorable confused pout when he couldn't find it, knowing you were hiding it due to the shy smirk on your lips.

"I know you too well baby, hand it over. ~"

° You reveled a beautiful bracelet, with a shining ring in the middle of it. Which happened to be detachable. The admiration that filled his eyes, made you shiver.

° He knew it was a promise ring, and loved how you took so much effort to make something for him. It swelled his heart.

° Before you could explain the meaning of anything at all, Jeongin molded his lips against yours. The members going wild.

"You're so thoughtful and caring, I'll cherish this forever my adorable y/n."

#stray kids #kpop #changbin #skz scenarios #stray kids reactions #han jisung #hyunjin #jeongin #lee know #bang chan #Lee felix #skz seungmin #skz edits #skz fluff

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quiteriana · 4 years ago

Text

speculation

not to be a Dumb Bitch but Silver is constantly suppressing himself and watering himself down, so much so that it's to the point where he appears so numb and apathetic because he really doesn't know himself or know his own personality and instead tries to find himself through the people in his life that he values. He tries to do what others wish him to do, and be who others wish him to be. He lacks his own motivations and individuality, and instead, he takes on the motivation of those around him, trying to fill himself with somebody else (the people he values), for he feels as though he, himself, isn’t worth much among others. He hallows out his own identity and numbs away every emotion because he feels as though he is too inedequate and then fills those voids with other people of who, to him, are the most valuable and vital in his eyes.

That "person he values" is Malleus. It's literally Malleus and idc how you interpret their relationship, you CANNOT DENY that Silver is bending himself to what he perceives is Malleus's need.

Silver values Lilia as well, but with Lilia it's different because he... loves him. They love each other, and Silver knows that he will always recieve unconditional love from Lilia, and his [Silver's] own love is shown through the way he tries so hard not to cause trouble for Lilia and how he wishes so badly for his happiness and health. Silver and Lilia love each other and they know that the other loves them (how could they not?) so Silver doesn't really have much reason to... "bend himself to the liking of Lilia" because they have such a strong foundation within one another.

But with Malleus, it isn't like that. Not at all. Silver doesn't know if he will always receive approval by Malleus, but he views him so highly, he values him so much, and he wants that approval, and thus he tries so hard to be that person he thinks Malleus needs him to be. He loses himself in the identity of a "royal guard" because he thinks that's the role he's meant to fill, and he replaces his entire person with that mere duty. He doesn't realize that his role of a guard is just a part of who he is and not the entirety, and he waters down all other aspects of himself to cling to this one identity until he's empty.... Seriously, he is almost nobody outside of this role. How do you guys not see that this is what he's doing to himself...

Silver replaces his own desires and dreams (and really... his personality) with his duty and role of serving Malleus in attempt to overcome that inevitable feeling of being less than and insignificant among all those that he’s grown up around, and among everything he's ever known (being a human among faes... try and tell me that didn’t screw with his esteem when he was young). He goes about life so passively, and so peacefully, for he wishes only to do as he must to please the people he admires so much. He hollows out and waters down his own desires so as not to be inconvenient for Lilia, who he adores, and Malleus, who he devotedly dedicates himself to. He loses himself and he forgets himself; he falls asleep to himself in the sense of his apathy and (the lack of truly feeling) his own emotions; filling his personality with his duty, and erasing the line between them while simultaneously trying to keep peace everywhere he stumbles, trying so hard not to be an inconvenience. Pushing himself further down, denying himself until he’s lost himself because somewhere in his life, he became so worried about displeasing and losing the ones he loves and views so highly because of the person he truly is, and he (unknowingly) combats this by suppressing his own desires and his own person, and instead replacing all of that with the qualities he thinks are more valuable for the role he feels he must fill for Malleus.

In terms of motivation, with Silver being around Sebek so much, he has most likely turned Sebek's motivation into his own since they have the same goal [to protect Malleus]. In a way, Silver feeds off the energy and passion that Sebek exudes for his role as a guard, and he uses that to get him through his position of the same role. By pretending and truly believing that Sebek's motivation is also his own motivation, he's able to continue and continue persevering in this duty he's been raised to fill. But it isn't his own. Sebek's goals are not Silver’s goals and their passions are not the same, but Silver has likely been watering down his own self for so long that he does not even see this or realize.

And he keeps on endlessly tuning himself more and more into what he thinks Malleus needs him to be. Because Malleus is the most important authority in his life; that's what he's been raised to believe, and thus he tries so hard to fit the mold of what Malleus needs in seek of approval and closeness to the person who's been made so important to him--so much that he pushes aside his own desires and his own personality in order to make room for whatever qualities he thinks Malleus needs. And unconsciously, he ends up incorporating bits of Malleus into himself and his own identity more and more because of this value that he's placed on him. Silver's forever glare? His subtly similar haircut to Malleus? These aren't him; these are not aspects of who Silver truly is or expressions of his own personality; these are things that he's lost himself in and has tried to take on the qualities of who he values because he doesn't know what he wants and he doesn't know himself. And the saddest thing is that he's likely not even aware that he is doing all this; it happens so unconsciously as a result of seeing little value in his own self.

For the sake of trying to make a clear point, I'm going to try and compare Silver to the other two hero-based characters: Rook and Kalim. Rook and Kalim, themselves, are actually very, very similar in my opinion in terms of their positivity, endless optimism, and their ability and desire to make others feel valued and recognized. Silver and Kalim are both kind hearted and gentle, but Kalim is obviously much more forward than Silver. Kalim actually has... personality. He has his motivations and he has his interests and he has the things he feels passionately about. Silver... doesn't. He doesn't have those things of his own. He shares with Kalim kindness and a desire to please others, but he lacks all ambition to act in the ways his heart desires; he doesn't even know what his heart desires. Probably, he has never thought of it before, as his role and his future was always right there for him: to be Malleus's guard and protector, and he accepted that with no refute, he accepted it happily and he put his efforts into being... what other people told him to be. Kalim is similar in that he easily accepts and goes along with the suggestions of others; he is also quite easily influenced by others, but he is his own person as well... he is his own person while Silver has lost who he is. (Silver is literally the lyrics "I do as I am told until I don't know who I want to be")

And for Rook. I actually see a lot more similarity between Silver and Rook. They are both peace-loving people; however Rook is a peacemaker while Silver is a peacekeeper. Rook goes out of his way to make peace and mediate between refuting people (Vil and Epel). He does so in a way that makes both parties seem heard and valued, and he does not stop until he has done so. He is stubbornly persistent in making peace, which is really such a wonderful thing in my opinion. Silver is almost there. He possesses the same desire and ache to have peace, but he does not work so hard for it. When he sees people opposing, he does try to say something to mediate, but as soon as someone bites back and refuses that peace he's trying to bring, he keeps silent. He says nothing more. He does this as a way to not further contribute to the conflict (because if he tries to mediate where it isn't desires, that will just cause more problem). He is so so so passive that he does not push through with the good things he is trying to do, and he settles instead for simply keeping some of that peace instead of going through and creating it where it needs to be. He settles for less than what he aims for in fear if creating more conflict.

Do you see what I'm trying to say? Even Silver's valuable and strong qualities (his compassion and kindness and ability to mediate between others) are being washed away by himself and himself only because these qualities are so different from what he sees in the people he values [MALLEUS], and so he doesn't think they're important or useful and he finds them even meaningless because these qualities are his and his alone; they are different and apart from the rest of the Diasomnia members but it's BECAUSE the others lack them that he sees them as invaluable. He sees himself and he sees his differences as bad things, and so he tries to rid of them and rid of himself to instead be more like the people he does value. He completely washes away all of his individuality (even the GOOD things that make him STRONGER than others) because he doesn't want to deviate or be too different from the people he values. He is pushing himself down, he is watering himself away, he is numbing every ability for the sake of filling himself with the needs of others [again, Malleus!]

I also want to briefly compare Kalim/Rook/Silver in terms of their grounded-ness. I feel as though all three of them are not quite in touch with reality. Kalim, I think, is quite capable of really living and feeling in the present moment, but his lack of sense-of-reality comes when he thinks too positively of things, not quite grasping the density of the things around him. Rook, I think, is very similar, but he is more aimless and less present. I think he stumbles without any real direction, but he focused his mind on seeing beauty (sight... paying attention to any of the 5 senses assists in grounded-ness, at least for me), but I feel like he could also get too much in his head at times and lose that stability in favor of gravity. But, it's temporary, and I think he is able to pull himself into reality quite easily when need be. However, with Silver, he... exceeds aimlessness. It's haziness, as if going through life in a fog. Only half-alive. Not just sleeping most the time, but even awake, his mind is out of focus and lost. He is not just out of touch with reality, he is out of touch with himself, and unlike Kalim and Rook, he has no energy or presence anywhere at all. "Almost always everywhere, never quite anywhere." That's how he lives his life. Asleep and half-alive.

Silver is honestly... a vacant shell for others people to flow through him. For others, this is good because they benefit from it, but for himself it's horrible because he numbs himself with it--his own emotions and even his sense of self. He becomes empty of his own identity, filled instead with the energy of others. Completely groundless and succumbing entirely to the gravity of his mind.

Not to mention that sleepiness is a common trait of people who regularly suppress their own personalities. Though they might not do much actively, they still take up a lot of their own energy to be that shell for others to fill, and they also stress themselves by doing this as well but their apathy and detachment from reality doesn't allow them to properly feel that stress, so it translates instead into tiredness and sleepiness, and it's actually common for these kinds of people to be napping most of the day. It's also literally "falling asleep" to their own desires and ambitions, their own feelings and own identity. It's a way of numbing themselves in order to be filled by others; like this is literally a real thing that happens to people, and I have no doubt in my mind that this is what's happening to Silver as well.

ALSO HIS NAME. his name is... Silver. That's all. No last name, no way of saying exactly where he belongs. Simple, bland, and separate from everyone. Just Silver. It's literally just his hair color. There's no sentimental significance in his name at all. And he... accepts this. He accepts this as his only identification with no question or fight.

I know this seems like such a minor detail and that I'm maybe looking too deep into it, but I promise you I am not. I promise there is more to his name than just "a fairy couldn't choose a name for a baby human". Sure, that's likely where the name came from, but the fact that Silver at his current age just accepts this holds so much significance. It shows that he. does. not. care. He does not care about who he is. He does not care about his own person; he has completely washed away his own identity that calling him "Silver" is good enough for him. No meaning behind it. Just an empty word to be addressed by. Do you understand how sad this is? He sees himself as nothing special--so much to the point where he almost becomes... nobody... for he waters down every individual thing about himself so that others can fill him instead.

How do y'all not see this in Silver... Seriously how do y'all not see this in Silver?? this is who he is; he is so empty and void because he is constantly hallowing himself out for the sake of others really HOW DO YOU NOT SEE he is drowning himself... Silver is drowning

I'm sorry agaksgahsk I know this was way longer than maybe necessary but thank you so much for sticking to the end 💗

Also, I'm really not trying to... enforce my ideas about Silver onto anyone. People have their own ways of interpreting characters (especially since we don't really know much about Silver as of yet), and I totally get it. Every interpretation is beautiful; I want you to know. I'm just trying to get my own thoughts out there in the hopes that someone else might also understand and agree. To me, this is the truth of who he is 💗💗 but anything can be possible! thank you for reading this

#twisted wonderland #twst silver #twst analysis #diasomnia #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #sebek zigvolt #kalim al asim #rook hunt #it's embarrassing how long this took it's embarrassing how much heart i poured into this #edit: actually it's embarrassing how this whole thing is basically a rant #my takes are fine but i was not in a good state of mind while writing this ;/#sorry to everyone who read this but thank you for the engagement and validation as well #second edit: it kinda feels like I'm just... barking at you in this post #I'm a little ashamed tbh #but thanks to those who kinda saw through that and were just understanding of my momentary excitement and the things i was trying to convey

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taking-over-his-life · 4 years ago

Text

The old shop

Written by my old friend Colt.

On a bright autumn day, when the low angle of the sun, the sudden warmth of Indian summer, and the riot of scarlet and yellow leaves all cast a spell over the Virginia countryside, I set off for a drive, with the car windows rolled down. Intense glare alternated with deep shadow, as the road wound through fields and woods. It led to a town called Hapsburg, where it became Main Street, nearly deserted on Saturday afternoon. I parked along the sidewalk, and got out to stretch my legs.

The buildings were of red brick or painted clapboard, one or two stories. Shop windows were empty, or contained faded posters, long out of date. I walked past a café, a drugstore, a lawyer's office, and a barbershop, all closed. Next came a shop that sold old furniture, chipped plates, sentimental pictures, obsolete farm tools—the debris of former households, past lives.

In the display window, draped over the back of a chair, as though the wearer left it there minutes ago, and would soon reclaim it, was a black leather jacket. Creased and scuffed, it had evidently seen hard use. So casually was it thrown on the wooden chair—was it also for sale? I tried the latch, and the ancient shop door opened. A bell jingled sharply overhead, as I stepped inside.

A pale, thin man seated behind a counter barely looked up from his newspaper. His eyes were watery blue or gray, and his hair was sparse, showing the scalp. I pretended to look at a dusty shelf of books, then wandered to the back of the shop, which seemed to have nothing of value. At last, I returned to the front. Except for the man at the counter, there was no one else.

The black leather jacket was compelling. I touched a sleeve—the leather was thick and heavy. I searched for a tag, a price, a label, but found nothing. On the shoulder, a red patch bore the legend: "Hapsburg Motor Patrol." "Go ahead," the man said. His voice was unexpectedly clear and strong, despite his age. "Try it on. You'll be the first, since it just came in. Who knows, this may be your lucky day."

I slipped my arms into the sleeves, shrugged the weight of the leather over my back, and tried the zipper, which worked smoothly.

"A perfect fit," the man said, "like it was custom-made for you. There's a mirror, if you don't believe me."

It was uncanny, but the old leather jacket did fit perfectly. Stiff yet pliable, it was already molded to my shape, broken in by the previous owner.

"Whoever wore it must have had exactly the same upper body size," the man said.

"So you don't know who owned it?" I asked. "Anything about him?"

"Not a clue."

"What about the patches? Will I be arrested for impersonating a police officer?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. The town police department disbanded years ago, when the county took over everything—schools, taxes, roads, jail. The county police wear a different uniform, not that red patch. As it stands now, that jacket is a collector's item, a genuine Hapsburg Motor Patrol issue. Quality leather—they don't make them like that any more. The badge is missing, of course. It went in that reinforced hole in the chest."

The leather creaked, as I flexed my arms and walked to and fro. I inhabited the jacket, inhaled the smell of leather, and felt slightly giddy.

"There's plenty of wear left in that jacket. It will keep you warm on the road, and protect you in case of a spill. When you're riding, that is. Yes, sir, it fits you like a glove."

"How much do you want for it?" I asked, trying not to sound desperate.

"That depends on how much you want it," he answered, suddenly shrewd. His pale eyes glittered in the shadowy interior.

Though I detest haggling, I was unable to take off the jacket. I named a price, a round number, which I hoped was low. To my surprise, the man instantly agreed.

"Sold!" he shouted, as though at an auction.

I reached for my wallet, anxious to complete the transaction before he changed his mind, or before I did.

"Like I said, that leather jacket was meant for you. What are the odds that someone would walk in here, exactly the right build, with an eye for police memorabilia?"

"So you don't know where it came from?"

"Sorry, my friend. It could have been someone cleaning out an attic, getting a house ready for sale, winding up an estate. Wait! Now that you mention it, some other things came in with the jacket. Here's a helmet, the standard police type."

He handed me a white helmet, and I lowered it over my head. Snug, but comfortable. I started to ask the price, but he cut in.

"At no additional cost—special today. And check out these beauties." He rummaged behind the counter, and produced a pair of black leather riding boots.

"Somewhat the worse for wear, but you can replace the heels, and shine them up like new. Here, try them on."

Hurriedly, I untied my shoes, and shoved my feet into the tall boots, folding my pants inside the cylindrical shaft. Amazingly, the boots fit. I wiggled my toes, rocked from side to side, and strode a few paces. Like the jacket, the boots felt eerily right, as though I had worn them for years. Looking in the mirror, I caught my breath.

Instead of the man who entered the shop, an ordinary citizen like millions of others, I saw a police officer, a motorcycle cop, a figure of speed and power, a member of an elite squad, albeit from decades before. The fantasy was exhilarating.

"Do you want a bag?"

Abruptly, I remembered where I was, in a dusty junk shop, in a forgotten country town. I took off the helmet.

"No bag, thanks. I'll wear it."

"What about your shoes?"

"Oh. . . yes."

I handed the man my shoes, which he dropped into a crumpled paper bag. He handed the bag back to me, with a wink of his gray eye.

Jacketed and booted, as though dressed for a costume ball, I exited the shop, and blinked in the dazzling sunlight. The air was growing cooler, and the sun would soon set. With the helmet under one leather sleeve, and clutching the paper bag, I strode to my car for the drive home, through the inflamed countryside.

In the following weeks, as the weather turned cold and windy, I sometimes wore the leather jacket. As promised, the thick, back skin kept me warm. It did not attract attention, other than a smile or nod of approval. The thrill I felt on first putting it on mellowed, and in a way, I grew into the jacket.

One day, it occurred to me to search the pockets. An inner zipper revealed a small black and white photograph of a man standing beside a motorcycle. He appeared to wear the same jacket and boots, with the same white helmet on his head. He also wore a police badge, a silver star on his chest. His posture was upright and confident. The photograph bore no identification, no name or date. It was impossible to tell the man's age, or where the photograph was taken. Still, I was convinced that this was the officer who owned the items I had bought.

His uniform included a pair of riding breeches, tailored snug at the calf and flared at the thigh, almost as though inflated. It was a picturesque style, something that went out of fashion long ago. I could not recall ever seeing such a uniform on the street. In color, the riding breeches were dark, with areas of sheen. Were they made of black leather, too? I placed the photograph in a dresser drawer.

Though out of sight, the image haunted me. Who was this man, in purely physical aspects so much like me? What were his tastes, his habits, his personality? What was the police officer's story?

With no conscious intention, I began to read classified ads for used motorcycles, and I looked more closely at those I passed in the street. I wondered what type of motorcycle my officer rode. What type would a small-town police department be likely to have? When a neighbor parked a motorcycle in his front yard, a machine much like the one in the photograph, with a "For Sale" sign attached to the seat, I did not hesitate.

The neighbor, an engineer who would soon move to another city to start a new job, taught me how to ride the motorcycle, and he gave me advice on maintenance and repair. My luck continued in the form of a mild winter, which allowed me to ride on weekends, gradually learning how to handle the motorcycle on narrow roads, and in traffic. Though not especially powerful, it was quick and responsive. I wore my leather jacket, boots and helmet, of course, and sturdy jeans. By spring, I had become a confident, if careful, motorcyclist.

One Saturday, as the trees were coming into leaf, and the air was newly fragrant, I set off to ride through the green landscape. I started with no destination, but the road became familiar, as it wound through fields and woods. Just as it did six months before, it led to Hapsburg. Slowly, I cruised Main Street, looking for the old shop where I had bought the leather jacket, the same one I was wearing. Not seeing it, I turned around, and rolled in the opposite direction, but still failed to find the dusty display window. I parked, pulled off my helmet, and stood in the middle of the street, baffled.

A place I did not remember, a combination art gallery and custom frame shop, hinted at economic revival. Clean, freshly painted, with a gleaming steel and glass door, it was open for business. I entered, and at once was greeted by a young man with black hair, dark brown eyes, and an eager smile. After browsing the drawings and paintings, all by local artists, I explained what I was looking for.

The young man grew solemn, and said he would be right back. He walked briskly to a storage room in back, and returned with a large envelope, which he handed to me. Scrawled on the envelope, as a kind of address, was the phrase:

"For the man in the leather jacket, when he returns."

I studied the envelope for a moment, then asked:

"How can you be sure that this is for me?"

"The junk shop you describe was here, this space. I cleaned it out, renovated, put in new lights, and so on. A lot of work, you can imagine. The previous tenant passed away, I was told, and he left the shop as you saw it. I never met him—a retired police officer. Nothing of the contents was worth saving, but I did save one thing. That envelope was lying on the counter."

I lifted the flap, and extracted something heavy and pliable, made of black leather.

"Looks like a pair of pants," said the young man, clearly interested.

"Yes," I said, "or riding breeches. I saw them in a photograph."

"Awesome! They match your jacket and boots. Want to try them on?"

"I don't need to. They're exactly my size. Don't ask how I know."

"Okay, I won't. Strange things happen, even in Hapsburg. But here's the really strange part. They told me that the old man passed away more than a year ago. So how could you have met him here last fall?"

I shrugged my shoulders, and the leather jacket creaked. I slid the breeches back in the envelope, and tucked it under my thick black sleeve.

"Thanks," I said, turning to leave. "And good luck with the shop."

#leather boots #uniform #leather gear #leather jacket

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saktetsu · 4 years ago

Text

'LUST' Oikawa Tōru x Reader

Nekomimi, Metamorphoses, Adopted Sibling, !ncest, Mentions of Rape, Yandere Themes, Drugged

Today was the day that Oikawa Tōru comes back to Japan. He won't be staying for long, but at least [F/N] will be able to see her Older Brother once again.

"You look excited to see Tōru again" Her Mother exclaimed, chuckling softly.

"Well of course I am! I get to see Tōru nii again.." [F/N] had a smiled plastered on her face, as she waited for the Front Door to open.

After a few more minutes of waiting, Oikawa finally emerged from the door. He looked more mature now than he was back then. Without Hesitation, [F/N] jumped off the couch and ran straight into his open arms. It caused the setter to laugh from her sudden outburst of affection.

"Woah there [F/N]-Chan, did you miss me that much?" He teased, pinching her cheek slightly. Though she didn't care at all, all she wanted was to hug her dearest Brother that she missed so much.

"Alright, alright. [F/N] enough, let your Brother rest for a bit. I bet he's tired from the Flight" Their Mother chimed in with her hands on either side of her hips.

She pouted and eventually let go of Tōru with a soft 'hmph..' "Don't worry [F/N]~Chan! We'll be able to catch up after I settle in, mkay?" Tōru suggested with a head tilt, causing the younger girl to brighten up.

It may have been rude of him to stare at how her Booty Shorts would raise a little too high. Or how her shirt would squeeze tightly around her upper body. It's like she's tempting him to ruin her, to claim her. Even the thought of finally making his precious Little Sister his, had his tail straighten up from behind him.

Had she always looked this tempting? Had her ass always looked so plump and juicy? Whatever the case, he still couldn't fight back the urge to somewhat claim her as his own.

A few days passed by with Oikawa continuously bothering and hanging out with [F/N]. His personality didn't change much, but she could tell that he was a lot more serious.

Currently, she was in Class. Sitting along side her Best Friend Rinsuke and Sosuke. It was normal for them to Hang out before School ended. "Yo [F/N], I heard your Brother Finally came back from Argentina. How's that going for you?"

"Honestly, it's been great! I was able to catch up with him during the span of like- 4 days"

"4 days and you've already talked about everything? Sheesh, I'm not even surprised" Sosuke butted in, slurping his Milk quietly.

"Ya can't blame her for that though. They're pretty inseparable at this point." His twin added with a sly smirk spreading across his face. "Yer sure ya ain't got anything yer hiding from us Cupcake?"

"What.. Do you mean?" [F/N] asked with a curious tone.

"Ya know how he's one of those Nekomimi people?" She nodded. "Well for starters, ain't those kitties sniff shit that they own or somethin' like that?"

"And I'm also pretty sure that their kind not only possess the appearance of a cat, but their nature, and DNA too. Meaning they could sometimes act out by instincts alone." Sosuke finished Rinsuke's sentence, causing the other Twin to grumble by the sudden interruption.

"I was gonna say that Rin! Ya don't hafta butt in atta nowhere" Rinsuke continued to pout as his arms crosses over his chest.

"Whatever. But seriously [F/N], you've gotta watch out when you're with that Brother of yours."

"Pshh, what's he gonna do? Think I'm his mate? Sosuke, Rinsuke. He's my Brother, I doubt he'd even try to do anything but sniff me"

"Yer Adopted Brother" Rinsuke corrected, causing Sosuke to nod.

"Oh come on! Tōru nii isn't like that, I promise you" They both looked at each other and sighed.

"If you say so."

And just like that, School came to an end with a single bell. The Three walked out of their class together, waving goodbye to each and everyone of their Friends.

A few loud screams were heard from afar as they got closer to the exit if the School. They exchanged curious looks with each other before following the source of the noise.

"Oh my God! Oikawa-kun's here?! In Japan?!" One of the girls screamed out of excitement as she ran passed Rinsuke, Sosuke, and [F/N].

It startled [F/N], Oikawa had never picked her up from School before. (Due to his crazy schedule that was always packed with Volleyball.)

"[F/N]-Chan! There you are, I was worried that you might have gotten lo-" And there it was, the brief pause of his sentence as soon as he realized that she wasn't standing alone. Slowly, he pushed through his fans with a somewhat apologetic smile. His eyes narrowed, ear twitching from annoyance.

"Who are you?" The Question may seem innocent, but the tone of his voice was filled with venom.

"I- Uh- Rinsuke, sir.. And this is my Bro" Rin patted Sosuke's shoulder, causing him to flinch.

"Well, nice to meet you both but I must get going! And.." Oikawa walked a little closer to his relative, pulling her into his arms. "I'll be taking [F/N]-Chan with me"

Without another word, Tōru turned to walk away with [F/N] in his arms. She peeked behind her Brother, giving Rinsuke and Sosuke a small wave before they completely disappeared from view.

The walk home was quiet, yet Oikawa's arms were still wrapped around her smaller Figure. "Is something wrong Tōru nii..?"

"No, nothing's wrong. Don't worry [F/N]-Chan." She tried her best to struck up the conversation a bit more, but he gave either one word answers or stayed quiet. It felt unsettling, but [F/N] shrugged it off as soon as they reached the Front Door of their House.

"You better take a Shower right now" Was the first thing he mentioned as soon as they walked in, causing her to get startled a bit.

"Oh- uh- alright" [F/N] rushed upstairs and into her room, taking her clothes off slowly before popping herself into the shower.

Oikawa stayed downstairs, watching his previous games against other Teams. No matter how hard he tried to focus on the TV, he just couldn't. With the sound if the shower turned on, and [F/N] humming softly with the music in the background that she usually plays while cleaning herself up; it was hard to focus on anything but that.

Thoughts of her being exposed and freely displayed infront of him rushed through his brain. He knew it was wrong to think of her this way, but who was he kidding? He's fucking addicted.

The sound of the shower turning off caught his attention, meaning she was already done. Did time really fly by fast from all those thoughts? Either way, he couldn't care less.

She emerged from the stairs, descending slowly with her usual Home Outfit. The booty shorts he so feared that might break his last strand of self control, and her tank top that just fits perfectly against her body. It caused his ears to twitch ever so excitedly as soon as she plopped herself beside him without a word.

"Happy?" [F/N] let out as she took off the tow that wrapped around her hair.

Oikawa leaned forward, resting his face in the crook of her neck. He inhaled her scent, and eventually his tail descended from its straightened up posture. "Mm" He hummed.

"Why'd you want me to take a bath anyways? It's not like I was dirty or anything"

"You smelled like them." Tōru simply answered, his nose twitching from her sweet lavender scent.

"Hmmmm" [F/N] shifted slightly, putting a bit space between her and Oikawa. "Where's Mom by the way?"

"Oh right, I forgot to mention that she's over at a Friends house right now. Something about a Girls night out"

"Oh- pfft, typical, I can't blame her though. I would have also missed going out with my friends if I was always busy" He didn't reply, nor did he give some sort of answer. His eyes were still glued onto her face, taking in her beauty that he missed back in Argentina.

After a while of silence, he finally spoke up. "You should head to bed, you have Volleyball Practice tomorrow right?"

"Oh, yeah I do"

"Which Position did you obtain?"

"I got setter!"

Oh? So she did end up becoming the Setter of her Volleyball Team after all. "Why did you wanna become the Setter so badly? I mean, you're a great receiver. You should have chosen to become a Libero instead"

"I know, but.. I really wanna be just like you Tōru nii" [F/N] fidgeted in her spot, her eyes sparkled in the sight of her Older Brother. She looked so.. Vulnerable..

He took a sharp inhale, before breathing out. He wasn't gonna lie, it caught him off guard. But the goofy smile spreading across his face showed how ecstatic he was knowing that his Little Sister wanted to be just like him. "Really? [F/N]-Chan! I feel so honored"

She laughed softly, before turning her gaze back to the Game played out for them. "Well, you're the Best Setter I know so.. Is it alright if you'd teach me some things Tōru nii?"

Oikawa nodded, his ego going through the roof as he tilted his chin up. "Now how about this, if you wake up early tomorrow then we could practice together before you head to Schoo-"

"REALLY?! ALRIGHT- I'll go to Sleep now!" [F/N] shot up from her position of the couch, raising her arms in the air like a child. He was startled at first, but eventually smiled softly.

"Here, drink your Milk first. that way you'll go to sleep faster" Tōru picked up the glass of milk on the coffee table, handing it to her with the genuine smile that never fails to make her grin. She uttered a small 'Thank you' before drinking the Milk.

Meanwhile, Oikawa was sitting there, watching intently. Would it be wrong to tell her someday in the near future that he drugged her Milk before giving it to her?

"Phoowee, wow.. -I do feel sleepy.." [F/N] settled the cup back down, facing her older brother with lazy eyes. "Can you carry me up the stairs please? Pretty pleaseee? I'm too lazy"

Tōru pretend to be annoyed, even letting out a small grunt before picking her off the ground. "Alright"

They both ascended up the stairs, with [F/N] comfortably in his arms. It was as if she was molded to fit perfectly wrapped around his fingers.

By the time that they arrived at the front of her bedroom, she was out cold. Her breathing was more even, yet her hands still gripped onto his shirt. "Silly [F/N]-Chan, you really should pay more attention to things you drink. I wonder if your trust for me would shatter if you found out.." He seemed to be lost in thought as he lowered her sleeping figure

Oikawa was shifting, not being able to contain his excitement as he eagerly took off his own sweater. 'Fuck, she looked so defenceless'

He lowered himself a bit. Settling his right hand on top of her stomach, where it slowly dipped further down until he was able to cup her cunt. "Fuck.. Already soaked Princess?" He cooed softly, before pulling her Shorts off. Oikawa took a moment to admire her current state, his fingers gently sliding her cottoned panties off. 'Wouldn't want her to wake up early now'

Tōru licked two of his fingers a bit, before slowly inserting them inside of her pussy. It caused [F/N] to squirm a bit in her spot, her lips quivering slightly. "H-Hrgm..~"

"Shhh... It's alright Baby Girl, Tōru nii's gonna take good care of you okay.." In all honesty, he was still shocked from the fact that his sweet little sister was still a Virgin. It excited him even more to the point where he pistoned his fingers in and out of her dripping cunt. The tightness of his pants slightly bothered him, causing the setter to quickly push the waist band lower.

It continued on for a bit, until he became restless. The pad of his thumb harshly pressed against her clit, making her jolt. "A-AHHH.. -" The lewd moan startled him, but he kept going at his pace. [F/N] continued to tremble under his touch, growing restless as she began to twist and turn in her spot.

He noticed how tighter it got, and more difficult it was to move his fingers. "Fuck.. You're squeezing my fingers like a Vice [F/N]-Chan.. Are you about to cum Princess? Come on, cum for Onii-Chan.." Oikawa continued to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. And eventually, just like he said; she came with a loud moan.

Without hesitation, he pulled her sleeping body up slightly, his back resting against the headboard. Oikawa settled her on his lap, where her cunt rested right on top of his Cock. He shivered a bit, feeling her cum dripping onto his hardened member. He let her lean into him as she continued to sleep peacefully.

As much as he wanted to keep her innocence, the desire to ruin her and completely claim her body as his own grew.

Tōru slowly lifted her up, wrapping his tail around her waist before spreading her cunt with his fingers. "I'm about to take something so valuable from you.." And with that, he dropped her onto his cock, causing it to quickly sink balls deep. [F/N] let out a loud shriek as her eyes flew open. Oikawa stilled his movements and let out a shaky sigh. It felt too good.. Way too good.

"Fuck.. [F/N] you're.. - s-so tight damn" He began to lift her hips up and down repeatedly, setting a steady pace. "I expected you to be tight but.. Wow- fuck it feels good Baby Girl"

It didn't take long for her to register what was going on, her Big Brother's dick sinking inside her pussy, his tail wrapping around her waist, it made her feel light headed to say the least. "T-Tō.. Tōru nii..? W-What are.. What are you doing? Please stop, it hurts.." She spoke in a soft tone, pushing her hands against his broad shoulders in an attempt to move away. But he was much more stronger than she was, and faster too.

"Ah, ah, ah.. Don't fight now [F/N]-Chan! If you struggle, it'll make me even more excited.." He said, licking his lips seductively. A shiver ran down her spine as her hips continued to move with his help.

"This is wrong- please stop- I-I won't tell anyone this ever h-happened.. I swear.. Just please sto- ooo-o.. AHHHHHHHH..!" Oikawa had enough of her babbling about how she didn't want any of this. So instead of taking it easy on her like how he planned. He began to buck his hips, causing a loud whimper to fall from her lips as she tried to continue her sentence. "P-Please Tōru nii stop..!"

"Fuck, I just told you that if you struggle it'll excite me more.. Are you doing this on purpose? You fucking slut.." His pace got even faster, and his thrust was more rough. "You know, seeing you with those Bastards really hurt me [F/N]-Chan! I thought I was the only Male in your Life"

The tone of his voice sounded as if he was genuinely hurt, she would have felt bad, she would have if it wasn't for the fact that he was literally pistoning his dick in and out of her pussy. "T-Tōru..~!" [F/N] moaned out his name. Somehow, it flicked a switch deep inside Oikawa.

Causing him to act by instincts. Instead of his usual thought out actions, he pushed her off, pinning both of her wrists above her head with one hand. His ears began to twitch, and the tail that he affectionately wrapped around her waist was now tightening its grip. "Tō-Tōru..!"

There it was again, it sounded like music to his ears. He needed to hear more of it right away. So without further interruptions, he began to spread her legs. [F/N] let out a small shriek as soon as she felt the tip of his member push against her folds.

Her toes curled, and her back arched. Tōru didn't care whether or not it hurt for her, his pace was rough and frantic. As if his Animalistic tropes were overpowering his usual humane self. He wanted to breed her so badly, spill his sperm deep inside her womb until she was a quivering mess. "T-TŌRU, TŌRU!" His name continuously spilled out of her mouth.

And no doubt, it made him even more rough with her. "Fuck! You're such a fucking slut for hanging out with those Bastards. should've known you'd do this from the start" There it was, his tip hitting that spot that made her see stars. She flinched, her moans getting even more uncontrollably louder. "Yeah? You like that? You like it here?" Tōru moved his free hand below her ass, lifting her up slightly where he could easily thrust up to her G-Spot.

"H-Hrm..! T-Tōru.. 'M Cumming, I'm Cumming Tōru!"

"Then cum, Princess" And just like that, [F/N] came around his cock. Her eyes closing slightly as she rode out her orgasm. But Oikawa didn't stop there, he was chasing his own high after all. With a few more seconds of him thrusting harshly into her abused cunt, he finally came undone. Spilling his cum deep in her womb with a shaky sigh. "F.. Fuck.. Yeah.."

His cock softened, but he didn't pull away nor did he move an inch. Oikawa rested on top of her, his breathing becoming even. "Onii Chan loves you.. You do know that right..?" [F/N] nodded, her lips quivering from the over stimulation being present.

"Use your words pretty girl, I wanna hear you say it" He caressed her hair, stroking some of his finger through.

"Yes, I know.."

"What do you know?"

"I.. T-That... Tōru nii loves me.."

"Good Girl. You do know that no one else loves you right? I love you more than anyone in the whole wide world" She nodded slowly, fidgeting slightly.

"You love me, right?"

"I love you" Despite being mortified earlier, she eventually snuggled closer to her Older Brother. Giving into his twisted fantasies. He felt satisfied with himself, pulling her even closer. She couldn't deny him, she couldn't fight. After all, big brothers know best.

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