#don't u have chicks to fuck

[kingkat12]

“its coming… and so is roman… who said that… must be the wind… not me sir no no.”

Technically you did say that because I know for a fact that tumblr didn’t suggest those hashtags to you, sweetie. So so bold!

P.S. I may or may not still keep needles in my pockets for silly geese like you

-CEO of Godfrey Industries, Roman Godfrizzle

- sent from my iPhone 5s

not there being a seven minutes in heaven-lore accurate Roman Godfrey rp thing happening here😭

YOU KEEP YOUR NEEDLES FAR FAR AWAY FROM ME, MISTER. SHOO!!

and ngl this is suspiscious... the real Roman wouldn't be caught dead next to an iPhone 5s. you think that man doesn't walk around w the newest model? you think he's caught up with internet memes and knows about silly geese?

who are you and what have u done to him???

[radiaking]

*plays 'goodbye earl' by the chicks. stares at you the whole time*

COOP VC: I AM A FARMER. IN LOVE WITH AN ANGEL. I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG IN MY LIFE EVER!!!

[reginaofdoctorwho]

i am going to Fucking Scream

[valentinaagarcia]

twisted wonderland characters as things i've heard in the locker room

(im speaking in the boy locker rooms, im on the boys football team as a chick and i might be called a pick me for it but there was no girls football team💔)

(btw "yuu" is what i responded to what i heard)

-----

floyd: uhm.. you guys i might've ate raw salmon and i shit myself

ace: right now??

jamil: i fucking can't with you floyd, last week you made out with a boy and now you got fucking tapeworms or some shit

-----

kalim: sorry i'm late guys, how is everyone?

jamil: i'm gonna puch you so hard that your dick is gonna go up your throat and your gonna choke on your cock and die!

kalim: so glad i asked

-----

ace: some guys get off from other guys fingering their asses, who knows

yuu: what the fuck is the context to that?? i went to the toilet for TWO MINUTES

-----

yuu: well duh i have boobs? what the hell is wrong with y'all i'm not an actual dude

ace: i can tell you have boobs now, i'm looking right at them

-----

epel: okay i need to be honest with you all, i used to masterbate with motor oil

deuce: wait i used to do that too until my ex saw me when i was whacking off and tried to lit my dick on fire

-----

ruggie: come on guys we're gonna go play football! no teams

leona: pretty sure you need two teams to play football

jack: yeah that's the whole fucking point

-----

ace: i neehd.. the uh, the thing that you ball kick around

yuu: are you high?

ace: hi

-----

floyd: WHOOP WHOOP yeah us upperclassmen win another round!

jamil: did you even measure it?

floyd: yeah with my dick

-----

yuu : can you guys stop messing around for five minutes please? i'm trying to make us a plan

floyd: why u never match my freak

-----

kalim: yuu your a girl right?? this cute girl i've been talking to is so sweet and i wanna buy her something

yuu: not a car

-----

leona: remember when coach benched you because you were "too good"?

ruggie: yeah?

leona: he was lying, you fucking sucked

-----

floyd: okay everyone take off your shirts!

yuu: no thanks

ace: why not?

yuu: i'd rather not flash you all

ace: good call

-----

jade: i can't believe i have to perform infront of everyone..

floyd: just do the whip and you'll be fine

-----

epel: GUYS.. GUYS MY....... INNER EGOIST ARRGHH

jamil: we're not even playing right now???

-----

floyd: coach is such a boomerrr...

lilia: boomer? more like fossil

-----

ace: okay everyone important announcement, i have to make a powerpoint on sexual education so can i demonstrate on deuce infront of you all?

deuce: and you say your straight

epel: i don't think deuce likes the idea of public sex

-----

yuu: i just saw a pad stuck to the ceiling in the girls bathroom

floyd: did you lick it?

[prettyboykatsuki]

i don’t go here often but the weird tension and watching porn together and……………. and bakugou………….

✮ tags ; parts r left vague in detail (so u can imagine tdick or other), masc!reader, gay sex, jerking off in the same room, frotting, reader is a crass jackass, dubcon-ish (bkg is into it he's stubborn tho) stupid hent tropes, premature ejaculation on bkgs end.

✮ a/n ; merc this literally possessed me KJDSHFKJSD.

"The fuck do you mean you don't jerk off?"

Bakugou flushes, throwing a pillow at you from the other side of the couch. You can't understand what he's saying to save your life.

"Fuck you. It's not that weird."

You give him a disbelieving look. "No, it definitely is. You don't like... watch porn?"

He makes a face at you that you can't identify. "No? I just like take care of it in the shower. If I get like morning wood or whatever."

"You only jerk off if you have morning wood?!"

A blush spreads up his neck, all the way to his ears. There's little sparks in the palms of his hands that make you snort. "It's not weird!"

"We're living different lives," You reply,without skipping a beat. "If I don't rub one out like. Twice a day at least, my dick will explode."

His face crinkles up with disgust. "Are you a fucking animal?"

"Dude, twice is nothing."

He doesn't have anything to say to that. You think on his situation for a while before a shit-eating grin spreads on your face. "You know what? I think I can fix you."

"Fuck do you mean fix me? There's nothing to fix, I'm going to kill you."

"Hold on," You ignore him, reaching around the arm of the couch for your backpack nearest the table. You grab your laptop and take it out of it's nice, blue sleeve - opening it up. Some short clicking sounds in the room before you set it on the coffee table in front of you both. "Here we are."

There's thumbnails of obscenities upon obscenities upon your screen - all with varying appropriate titles and run times. You look at him triumphantly, like a proud crow with shiny trinkets. Bakugou looks at you with complete disdain and disgust.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Don't be rude," You reply, not skipping a beat. "I'm offering you my curated, high quality porn stash without charge. This is the good stuff. You have to go to like... the sixth page of the internet for this quality. All HD."

"You're a fucking degenerate."

You grin. "I'm a connoisseur." You pause a bit, scrolling through your collection before glancing at him. "You got a type? Like in chicks."

"No," He says flatly, then looks at you. "Do you?"

You think on it before grinning. "Blondes."

He blushes at that. You scroll to the bottom of the first page and find your favorite video. It's a little vintage, but the main actress is a pretty blonde with a nice rack. It's NTR, plenty debauched. You click on it, setting the laptop back in view of you both before. Bakugou throws you a distressed look. "The fuck are you doing?"

"Changing your life, man. You're like a brother to me."

"And your show of brotherhood is watching fucking porn together? Don't be disgusting."

"It's not disgusting, come on. Don't be rude. This actress is super hot and this clip is hard to find. Show some gratitude."

"I'm going to leave." He threatens. You shrug.

"I'll have fun jerking off in your living room." You reply back. That keeps him glued to his seat.

The video starts playing after the intro. It's a pretty typical set-up for porn. A lonely, neglected housewife cheating on her husband with the plumber. It's nasty right from the jump though, not much emphasis on panty-shots and build up. They get straight to business in the first ten minutes of the film. You've seen it plenty by now, but your eyes remain in trance anyway. The actress is a natural beauty. A pretty face, short-blonde hair, and nice chest with pretty nipples.

Your breath hitches, something stirring underneath your waistband. She plays prickly in the film, all for show of course - but it makes the pay off way better. It's hot seeing her get corrupted.

You almost forget about Bakugou next to you until he whispers to you, low and offensive. "The hell are you doing?"

He must be referring to the hand unbuttoning your jeans. "What do you think?"

He makes a noise of protest, but ultimately can't stop you. You're hard. Always does the job this one, but you feel another layer of arousal feeling a gazed fixed on you. You glance at Bakugou, noticing a pillow over his lap and a blush over his face and grin. You think it's probably just your dick talking. The situation is so fucking obscene though.

You wonder what Bakguou sounds like when he moans. They look similar, him and the actress. Chest might be the same size, too. You let off a soft laugh. "Don't be shy on my account."

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you."

You make a face, lazy and lidded eyes meeting his. "You want to? Dunno if you've got any lube around to make it happen though, since you're such a priss."

His eyes go wide, pinched expression suddenly twisted with anger. He goes to cuss at you again but you beat him to the punch.

"Hey. Wanna jerk off together?"

You didn't think he could look more shocked if he tried. You snicker. "It'll feel better than humping the pillow like you are right now."

"I'm not fucking humping it."

"Right. D'ya wanna?"

He clearly thinks about it, which makes you laugh. The whole situation is making your head spin. You think it'd feel good to rub against him at least. You've never done anything like that with another guy though, but Bakugou is so pretty - can't be sure it counts. You get fed up with his waiting after a minute, scooting closer and circling in. He backs up against one arm of the couch as you crowd infront of him - stood on your knees on either side of his thighs. The angle is perfect to get your dicks to touch with some effort. He makes a choked sound in the back of his throat as you gingerly move the pillow.

You pull his sweats down as well as your jeans and press the tips of your cocks together - spitting into your hand to make the tips both wet. Bakugou gasps, groaning in the back of his throat. Humiliated, he pulls back and looks at you. He's pissed, feral.

Weirdly, you think he's kind of sexy right now. You leaned down to kiss him, and he tries to pull away. You grip your hand in his hair and force him to kiss you - all teeth and tongue. He pulls back with a flush.

"Fuck," You groan, rutting up against him - your whole body shuddering and pulsating from the sensation of his dick. Hot and velvet, making your body twitch. "You're kinda sexy."

"Shut up," He replies, no real bite when his voice is so blown out with lust. "We're not even watching the porn anymore, dipshit."

"Guess not," You reply, rubbing against him again. He moans aloud, pleasing you. "You're way sexier than that."

His dick twitches in response to that. "Shut up,"

"Might be bad if I get addicted to this," You reply, sweat dripping down the crown of your head as your hips follow their own rhythm. "Let's cum together. C'mon."

He frowns at you before craning his neck up to push another kiss to your mouth. You shudder as you feel him cum against your fingers from that, laughing in amusement.

You were joking about being addicted, but you can't be sure. Not anymore, at least.

[webslingingslasher]

hii!! can you do one where situationship!peter like yells at trouble or something along those lines or is like embarrassed to be seen w her (i jsut wanna read something angsty 😭😭)

no rush ofc!! hope u had a good new years 🎀

added these two asks together <3

what do u think that frat!peter would do if he made trouble cry, like it was his fault

-----

when peter got a congratulatory clap on his shoulder with a 'heard you got cuffed up. good for you, man.' he brushed it off. peter had a good guess on why someone made that connection, he's been a little handsy with you at parties, and on campus. it's a natural thought.

when peter got nudged by a member of another frat, and a 'congrats, bro. she's a hottie.' he felt confused.

the third time it happened, while at his own house, peter finally asked what was up. 'where did you hear that?' a punch to his arm, 'your chick. she's telling everyone you're her boyfriend.'

and that? it made his blood boil.

'she's lying, i'm not dating anyone.' the brother's eyebrows raised, 'oh. i mean, i guess she told ja-' peter spoke up louder, 'she's a fucking liar.' the brother leaves it alone.

peter was almost pacing his floor while waiting for you. you've brought it up a thousand times, he's made his opinion very clear, and yet you're going behind his back and telling everyone he's the one thing he's not.

you don't notice his distaste, reaching out for a kiss you're dodged. peter wants to scoff at your pout, no wonder you feel sad, your boyfriend refused your touch.

'anything you wanna tell me, trouble?'

you're immediately taken back by his tone. 'anything that might get back to me?' you have a sinking feeling you know what it's about, you didn't know it would be whispered about, but you should've.

but, you won't put your foot in your mouth yet. 'i don't think so.' peter lets out a dry laugh, 'no? there's nothing that you did that makes you look fucking crazy?'

you swallow hard, is that what he thought of you? if so, he's wrong. 'i'm not crazy.' peter throws his hands up, 'really? okay, let's see if we can figure this one out together. i'm not your boyfriend, but apparently you're telling people i am. is that supposed to make you look sane?'

it's downright mean. 'you're being very condescending right now, peter. i don't like it.' peter's loud with his next sentence. 'just how i don't like being called your fucking boyfriend?'

your world comes crashing down. how could he be so brutal with such ease. it's so harsh you can't swallow back your emotions.

tears blot at your eyes while your lower lip trembles. 'is the idea of being with me that bad?' peter feels as crushed as you look. once it starts you can't stop, and to break down in front of peter, after he just called you fucking crazy, makes you dehumanize yourself.

you huff small breaths and try to wipe away the tears as they fall. you struggle to say your words without pausing to gasp. 'you didn't even... ask why.' it brings a new wave, he's being silent and you think it's over and final and you didn't get a chance to plead your case.

'i need... to leave.' you can't breathe, you can't even feel your feet when you move. you don't make it far because peter's in front of you and using his chest to back you up.

'alright, alright. just stop crying, okay?' peter doesn't know what to do because he's never actually made a girl cry that hard, or at least in his face, making him aware of his actions and how he could've tried to approach this in a calm way.

'you hate me,' you gasp, 'and you think i'm crazy,' another gasp, but this time you're scooped into his hold. 'stop. please, stop. please stop crying.' peter thinks if he squeezes you hard enough he could piece the parts he ruined back together.

'i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.' peter doesn't know what he wanted, but it wasn't a pleading apology coughed out between sobs. fuck, he was mean, wasn't he? 'stop it, trouble. just breathe, alright? it's done, okay?'

oh, peter's shit at this. you cry even harder, 'i know we are. i'm so sorry, i'll tell everyone i made it up and... and you-'

'we're not done. the conversation is done. just please stop fucking crying.' peter can't stress it enough because he feels so guilty he's about to start crying in solidarity.

'no! not until, not until you hear-'

'i'm not going to listen to anything until you can say three words without holding your breath.' it's useless, 'i think i'm dying.' you don't know how, but you're held even tighter to his chest, 'you're not dying. you're upset because i said mean things.'

you're able to take a deep breath, it feels good. 'you did.' peter can finally relax, you're not on the verge of passing out anymore. 'i know. i was really mean, wasn't i?'

'yeah.' fuck, he really, really hates how miserable he made you. peter cares about you, it's the one thing he makes sure to tell you, but he doesn't think you talk to the people you care about that way.

'i promise i'm not crazy, i just-'

'you're not crazy and i should've never said that.' you try to keep your face tilted down when peter pulled back, but he was adamant on having you look at him.

'i'm so sorry, okay? i was caught off guard by all these comments today and i took it out on you. you're right, i should've asked why. but i didn't, and i'm sorry.'

'jackson ruth got all weird and touchy at his party last week and i just blurted out that you were my boyfriend so he'd leave me alone and i swear i didn't mean for him to have it spread.'

you hate that you made him ashamed, maybe you said that part out loud too because you think you saw something break inside his eyes.

peter softly cups your face, any stray droplets cleared with a brush of his thumbs under your eyes. 'i'm not ashamed of you, i'd never be ashamed of you. you're my baby.'

hook, line, and sinker.

'you are always allowed to use my name if you need to, i promise. i was a dick and i made you cry and now i feel like shit that i made you feel like shit, and now i feel even shitter because i'm somehow making this about me.'

you wrap your hands around his, you'd rather him keep his hold. you feel special. 'do you mean it?' peter nods softly, he leans down for a kiss. it's warming, your chest blossoms wide.

if you were fucking crazy, hypothetically, you'd claim the accusation boldly when he says 'on everything i love.'

[jockwrites]

LUST - p.b

hi this is chapter two lol

warnings: angst, asshole paige

part: 2

a/n: this is pretty short lol. also the songs i put are basically what the chapters are based off of! sorry if that wasn’t clear, it’s basically some “playlist” thing i see other writers do!! 🙂‍↕️ also im basically putting you guys on..

its been 6 days since you’ve broken up with your boyfriend.

you and paige have been hanging out every day since, and you can say these have been the best days since you two have met.

right now, she’s at practice. that means you’re all by yourself.

you decide you wanna go down to the lobby, maybe grab a few snacks.

you check your phone before you leave, no calls or texts. that’s boring, and it sucks.

anyway

you put on your slippers and head out. as you’re walking you see paige’s teammate, ayanna.

“hey, ayanna. don’t you guys have practice?” you ask.

“huh? practice is tommorow” she says, laughing.

but you found nothing about that sentence funny. at all.

“well.. paige told me you guys have practice today?” you say confused.

“well blondie is lying. why she tell you that?”

“i don’t know. she said she had to leave for practice around like 1 earlier and i haven’t heard from her since.” you say, annoyed.

“whattt? girl its 9pm. no practice lasts that long regardless.. how vulnerable are you?” she says, giggling.

“ok shut up. can u text her? ask where she is? pleaseee?” you ask with puppy dog eyes.

“alright alright. gimme a minute,” she pulls out her phone, going to text paige.

as she texts her, you see her expression change. she’s looking weird.

“what is it? where is she?” you say, worried.

“she’s- she’s at her cousins.” she says nervously.

“are you lying?”

“no? i’m not. but i gotta go, ill see you around.” she speaks, walking away hurriedly.

you look around, wondering if you’re crazy.

you pull your phone out of your pocket, going to text paige.

hey, where r u?

you sit and wait. might as well get your rice krispy treat you’ve been wanting.

you walk over to the vending machine, putting in the dollar to buy your treat.

*ding*

*ding*

*ding*

“holy shit what the fuck dude” you whisper to yourself as you get 3 messages back to back from your friend.

you open the messages, and your heart instantly drops.

“what. the. fuck.” you say in your mind.

what the fuck? don’t you guys like .. idk talk?

that’s exactly what your friends message reads.

it’s three pictures of paige walking with some girl. and the third picture..

they’re holding hands.

all of a sudden, an incoming call pops up on your screen from your friend.

“holy shit girl isn’t that your little girlfriend?” says your friend over the phone.

“dude. where are you? how’d you get those?”

“i’m at chick fil a right now, and then i seen THEEE paige bueckers like omg woah then i see her with some girl that wasn’t you and that’s definitely like a omggggg woahhh reaction and so i-” she rambled.

“shut up for a second jesus. holding hands is like actually crazy. alright i gotta go.”

“alright bye babe but talk to her or something and fill me in on the tea pleaseee ok bye love you!!!”

you hang up. you don’t know how to feel right now.

you’re so overstimulated.

you walk back to your room, tears ready to fall from your eyes.

you check the message you sent earlier, and you realize you’ve been on read for ten minutes.

you put down your phone & sit back against your head board. you’re so confused, so upset, so angry.

you feel so stupid.

you start to cry, looking back on everything you’ve done for her. everything you’ve done with her.

she turned you gay, she made you breakup with your boyfriend, and now she’s cheating.

not necessarily cheating, since you guys aren’t technically together.

but that doesn’t matter, you’re off limits to other people and she’s supposed to be.

you don’t hold hands with your cousin like that.

after about 20 minutes of crying, you hear your door open. and speak of the devil, it’s paige.

she walks in, noticing you crying and immediately comes over to you.

“woah woah baby, what’s wrong? are you okay?” she says, confused.

“who is the girl.”

“what? who?”

“the girl! who is she paige?” you yell.

“i don’t know who youre talking about.”

“you know exactly what and who the fuck i’m talking about dude?!” you jeered.

“chill the fuck out,” she tempted, “and if you want me to be honest, she’s just a friend of mine.”

“nobody holds hands like that with their friends. you’re a liar.”

“no way you’re calling me a liar now. i said she was my friend and that’s what the fuck i said. drop it.”

“drop it? you literally said im off limits to other people, so how does that change for you?”

“it doesn’t. i’m just saying, she’s just a friend.”

“whatever paige. i don’t even know how you could do this to me after everything we’ve done for and to each other.” you whine.

“don’t act like a baby now. i’m not the bad person here, you are.” she huffs.

“how the fuck could you even say that?”

“well i’m not the person who left their boyfriend for a girl! i don’t know what you’d expect from me.” she snaps.

“what the fuck? you made me leave him paige! you asked, you convinced, you nagged. don’t flip this shit on me!” you snap back.

“well maybe i wanted to have a little fun. that’s all it fucking was.” she says, an angry look in her eyes.

“take a look around paige, nothing about this is fun to me. read the room. think about how i would’ve felt.”

“how the hell did you even find out?”

“doesn’t matter. don’t flip the subject.” you sass.

“whatever. i don’t know why you thought we were more than a hookup anyway. you’re obsessed and crazy.”

your heart drops. you immediately turn away from her, tears about to form in your eyes.

“get the fuck out.” you snarked.

“alright. i’ll do that then.”

“bye. don’t come back.”

and just like that, you hear the door close. she actually left.

tears immediately start flowing. you feel so hurt, neglected, ridiculed.

you cannot believe the words that came out of her mouth, after everything.

you sniffle and cry, thinking back on the memories you two had.

it would be insane to say it wasn’t more than a hookup. but you guess it was.

as you slowly cry yourself to sleep, you realize this was a mistake.

a/n: hi so this is horrible but pls stay tuned for next chapter, maybe smut maybe not 👅 also someone teach me how to make a masterlist pls??!!!

[despazito]

could u elaborate on "parrots make bad pets"? not disagreeing (far from it) just interested to see your take! looking to learn more about this

(i've gotten this ask before so please don't mind i'm just gonna paste a writeup i did a while ago)

There’s a blog run by an animal behaviourist who specializes in parrots that i really enjoy reading, she has a very good writeup on the state of companion parrots as an industry: The Inconvenient Truth About Cockatoos

so basically the average person usually cannot meet the needs of a parrot, especially medium and ESPECIALLY large species. they are long lived, extremely social and intelligent animals who are very demanding if you are their only companion. in my mind the most 'ethical' pet parrot setup is having some pairs of budgies in a dedicated bird room filled with foraging enrichment and doing some basic command training as a bird-human bonding activity instead of cuddles.

most pet parrots are hand reared or even hatched in incubators by breeders and are never given a chance to be raised by their parents, and virtually none stay with their parents until a natural weaning age before getting sold. which is wild considering it is fucking ILLEGAL to do that to puppies or kittens.

A parrot isn't really born wired for human companionship in the same way that a dog or cat is. they imprint on their parents which sets the blueprint of their kin, and they generally want to only form extremely close bonds with others of their kin. To get a very people-oriented parrot, it has to think it’s people.

This is different from the socializing practiced in raising cats and dogs or acclimating ferals to people. socializing means exposure to things so that the animal doesn't grow up to see the target as a threat, and ultimately that the target is something that can be very rewarding to spend time around. A dog raised with its mother and socialized to people still understands that it's a dog, it can get along with other dogs, but can also form strong bonds to people. They actually read both dog and human body language and legitimately have an awareness that we are different species.

The companion parrot is raised to think it’s people, and as a result many lose the ability to form bonds with their own kind. in fact the reason many breeders remove eggs or chicks from the nest is arguing that the parent birds don’t really know how to raise their chicks- because they themselves were hand reared and never learned how to parent from their parents! it seems that, like us, parenting isn't perfectly hardwired in parrots and they need to learn the skill from their families, oftentimes even staying to help their parents raise younger siblings!

That's why it's not at all uncommon for pair bonded breeding birds to be sold as a completely separate product from companion birds in many aviary operations. there's so many ads for people selling breeding parrots that fucking hate humans or are semi tame specifically listed for sale as breeders not as pets:

then their babies are bred for the pet market so they are taken either before or right after hatching to get hand reared and imprinted onto humans, because a parrot-bonded parrot just won't be as interested in forming those close human companionships you see in viral videos. this isn't the case for all aviaries, i want to acknowledge there are smaller scale breeders who have tamer breeding birds, but big producers can have borderline feral pairs and the point i'm trying to make is when you socialize a parrot to either the human world or parrot world, it's often at the expense of the other.

most trouble starts once the parrot begins reaching the age of sexual maturity. they stop being openly cuddly to most people, and will try to pair bond with their primary caretaker. It's not uncommon for this to lead to aggression towards other family members because parrots don't share partners, they can even do this to babies they are jealous of!

But a human can't become a suitable mate substitute for a parrot, and some of their mating behaviours such as regurgitating on you can seem straight up gross so the human then shuns the parrot and shuts down their advances. this can make your bird become very sexually frustrated that can lead to more unwanted behaviours and even health emergencies such as prolapse. we lead them on by stroking their chest and backs (only something bonded pairs do, you are essentially jerking off your parrot when you do this..) then reject them with no other outlet for their natural urges, and spaying/neutering isn't an option either! so they're stuck in a psychological purgatory of being unable to fulfill their instincts. and if they're in an understimulating environment and left alone for most of the day in addition to all that, frankly i think that's just an awful life to give to an animal we allegedly love!

we essentially alienate them, and when they don’t have people around to meet their extremely high social needs because you work a 9-5, even if there are other birds around, the lonely or frustrated human-bonded parrot can become depressed and self mutilate.

parrots that were left with their parents, are raised as parrots, and weaned at their own natural pace overwhelmingly do not exhibit these destructive behaviours.

 a productive relationship with a pet parrot is one that fosters independence, not dependence, on the human companion. the most responsible parrot owners should strive to act more as a zookeeper to their parrot instead of cuddling it and creating a ‘velcro’ bird glued to the hip, and socialize with them via training sessions instead of letting their birds indulge in pair bonding behaviours like petting and preening which leads to sexual frustration and aggression or self mutilation.

Ultimately I believe any parrot hand reared and imprinted onto humans is some degree of psychologically damaged and suffers from the parrot equivalent of a developmental trauma, they have been robbed of a normal parrot life and it cannot be undone.

SO many parrot rescues are completely flooded with unwanted pets, many with tough behavioural challenges (for example it's not uncommon for parrots to be reactive to an entire gender, so that cuts the adopter pool immediately in half). and these patterns can be difficult to break especially without the aid of a behaviourist. and the thing still has another 40 years of life left in it but nobody wants to adopt because it's another "crazy bitey bird that hates everyone", has reached sexual maturity so it's no longer as friendly, and it's much easier to start from scratch so folks choose to just buy another baby and keep the cycle going.

And none of that even touches on the rampant poaching that keeps supplying the trade in many parts of the world. and that's why everyone should have domestic chickens or pigeons.

[mcshizzle-the-fire-boy]

PJO characters as dumb things me and my friends ( bonus one with my parents ) have said part two

Will: what's your type?

Nico: you

Will:

Will: that's sweet but I meant blood type

-

Percy: oh fuck I'm blue now

Percy: but like actually blue

Percy: like a smurf

Percy: being sad's for idiots lmao

-

Leo: everyone hates me lol

Jason: what am I??? like???

-

Nico: and Axl Rose's real name wasn't Axl Rose

Percy: *crying* STOP

-

Will: easiest way to come out to people is tell them that you listen to coldplay

-

Nico: Im gonna fugging krill myself

Annabeth: krill????

Nico: isn't that like a fish or smth

-

Piper: *knocking on Leo's door* WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE

Leo: uh shit uh erm uh

Leo: *moans loudly*

-

Will: *joking* we should makeout

Nico: I really wanna

Will: what

Nico: ...

Nico: did I say that out loud

-

Piper: *sobbing* why are penises so ugly

-

Annabeth: math is weirdly calming to me sometimes ngl

Annabeth: *flips page over to read massive paragraphs of words*

Annabeth: *bursts into tears*

-

Will: I just had to help hatch a baby chick

Will:

Will: I'm waiting for applause it was so gross

-

Will: if you drink the water I'll give you a forehead smooch

Nico: *glances at water, thinking*

Nico: nah you wanna give me one anyway

Will: gods dammit

-

Rachel: *GASP* MY SKETCHBOOK

Rachel: MY BABY

Rachel: *kisses it*

-

Hazel: ugh I want someone to fuck me

Hazel: hahah jk that shit's nasty

-

Piper: yeah I've noticed after watching you for a bit that you smile whenever Nico messages

Will: aww that's so swee-

Will: wait why are you watching me

Piper: *stares into his soul*

-

Nico: I miss you

Nico: *replies an hour later* that was a moment of weakness fuck you

-

Will: what if I say "darling" in a seductive voice

Nico: no

Will: u sure?

Nico: I ahdiamdveip dnsjhbksahcblaiwcbjsd-

-

Will: like at first I wanted to be you but then I realized that there's a diffrence between wanting to "be you" and wanting to "be on you"

-

Percy: I'm depressed

Percy: ...

Percy: WAIT I HAVE COOKIES NVM

-

Will: wtf are hickeys??

Will: I'm an experimental learner btw

-

Leo: omg guys look the guitar strings made my finger darker

Leo: *looks at finger* do you like watermelon, sir?

Will: you are so close to being hit in the head

-

Frank: *points* haha you've been fingered

Hazel:

Hazel: love... no

-

Thalia: OMG IM GONNA BE BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS RYAN GULDEMOND

Reyna: technically you already are

Thalia: *passes out*

-

Octavian: ugh I'm so single

Nico: *sighs* me too

Nico:

Nico: WAIT I CANT SAY THAT ANYMORE

Nico: FUCK YEEEEEEEEAH *smashes table*

-

Annabeth: what's ur favourite animal I'm gonna buy you something

Percy: shark but don't waste your money

Annabeth: but my parents told me to spend it on something important

Percy:

Percy: *cries*

-

Will: I'm autism!!

Will: *turns to Nico, wiggle eyebrows* I could be in you

Nico: tism rizz????

-

Frank: I love these drama videos

Reyna: *massive bags under her eyes* why do you want more drama wtf

-

Jason: honestly scared to sit on the edges of chairs at my trans boyfriend's house

-

Percy: *over text* jason are you gay for me

Jason:

Jason:

Jason:

Jason: no gtg

Percy: he's hiding something

-

Piper: don't mean to be heterophobic but why is straight porn so gross

Nico: agreed gay porn is much better

Piper: IM SORRY WHAT

-

Percy: are there any not cool lesbians

Reyna: I mean they probably exsist

Annabeth: no

-

Leo: *sighs sadly* cock and ball torture

-

Will: guys I learnt how to play my favourite song on guitar *starts playing good lookin by dixon dallas*

-

Leo: *playing adopt me*

Leo: chat chat guess what I'm on acid

Percy: KARMA'S A BITCH

Percy: I SHOULDA KNOWN BETTER

Leo: wait since when do you play adopt me

Percy:

-

Reyna: yk those yummy smelling shampoos

Nico: yea

Reyna: well I went to walmart and thought I found some and started smelling it but this lady was giving me weird looks

Nico: oh?

Reyna: yeah

Reyna: so uh

Reyna: it was lube

-

Will: hey bbg *winks*

Nico: I will slam you down and makeout with you right now

-

Percy: hi

Jason: hi

*leaves swirl around them*

-

Leo: don't mind me just massaging my clit

-

Leo: NICO GET UR GYAT OVER HERE

Nico: WHAT????

Leo: *points* HOMOSEXUAL TENDANCIES

Nico: WHAT DID U SAY

Leo: HOMOSEXUAL TENDANCIES

Nico: OH

Nico: I HEARD SEXUAL TENDANCIES

-

Leo: *singing* coked up dick sucking hoe?

Jason: *walks in*

Jason:

Leo: oh haiiii

-

Leo: how does it feel to be Draco Malfoy

Jason: idk how does it feel to be tweek

Leo: idk pretty good

-

Reyna: you don't deserve it

Percy: yeah I do

Percy: I've been a good boy

Percy:

Percy: jesus I just turned myself on wtf

-

Leo: *in sad voice* I'm a cheeseburger

Jason: a sexy little cheeseburger

-

Will: *gets text from Nico*

Annabeth: SIMP

Will: ???

Annabeth: YOU SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPP *has siezure*

-

Will: darling

Nico: *throws phone, screams into pillow, face red* I hate that man

anyway part three will cum ( pun intended )

thanks to @crowwolf8 @justagremlinoncaffeine @localcosplaymushroom @secret-mewtwo and my om and dad for being inspiring an shit

[sanaexus]

social's as yukimiya's girlfriend

-liked by megubachi, otoya.eita and 123.56k others

yourusername: i can't see i'm bliind BLIIIIND BLIIIIND (pun intended)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

oliver.aiku: THE CAPTION HELP FOUL ASF 😭😭 ↳yourusername: BITCH YOU NOW I'M SEXY ↳megubachi: UH DON'T CALL JUST TEXT ME ↳chigi.who: BITCHES SLOW CAN GET ON MY SPEED ↳kuniisuke: THEY STARE AT ME CAUSE THEY KNOW I'M THE ↳rin.itoshi: I-T-G-I-R-L ↳karasu_tabito: ok what the fuck is up with this edgelord ain't no fucking way he typed that ↳yourusername: you're right he didn't i did he went to let out expired water from his wonka ↳reo.miikage: what 💀 ↳hiyori: piss she meant piss

↳yourusername: SAME THING ↳nikkoki: are we going to ignore the original comment? ↳nikkoki: ok yeah ignore me too

yukimiya.kenyu: okay now who the fuck edited that 2nd image better sleep with one eye open ↳oliver.aiku: it won't matter if you sleep with both of your eyes open because you're blind anyways ↳yourusername: HEY DONR BULLY MY BF 🤬🤬🗣🗣🐺🐺ONLY I CAN BULLY MY POOKIE WOOKIE DOOKIE CUTE PATOOTIE APPLE HONEY SUGAR MELON PLUM PIE 10PC CHICKEN MCNUGGETS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: sigh why do i like you ↳yourusername: YOU DONR LOVE ME 🙁🙁☹☹ ↳megubachi: YOU MADE HER SAD NOW WOWOWOW ↳yukimiya.kenyu: no i'm sorry i'll let you paint my nails ↳yourusername: YIPPEE TY BACHIRA ILY 😘😘 ↳megubachi: ILYT POOKS 😘😘

isaichii: hear me out MAYBE just MAyBE giving me picture credits for the first one would be nice. a fucking dog nearly pissed on my show bc of y'all ↳yourusername: AND?? I NEARLY DIED BC THAT HOE IS A BLIND BITCH AND WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BRo?? DONR BLAME IT ALL ON ME ↳yourusername: I DIDN'T EVEN TAKE YOUR NAME WHY ARE YOU THINKING IM TALKING AB U ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BC OF THE FACT YOU CALLED ME A HOE AND A BLIND BITCH AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS AND WAS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE PICTURE UNLESS YOU HAVE A SIDECHICK ↳itoshi_sae: so you admit you're a hoe who's a blind bitch? 💀 ↳yukimya.kenyu: what

user1: jokes aside they're so cute (i fucking hate couples) ↳yourusername: ty pooks (ikr same couples are so cringe imagine not being single) ↳yukimiya.kenyu: w h a t . ↳yukimiya.kenyu: WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR LIKE A YEAR?? ↳yourusername: what idk who u are :x ↳nagi.seishiro: srop txting like me :x ↳yourusername: fuck off

-liked by reo.miikage, julian.loki and 122.8k others

yukimiya.kenyu: my fav side chick xoxo

tagged: yourusername

megubachi: NO WAY BRO REALLY SAID THAT ↳yourusername: mom told me honesty is the best policy 🤷‍♀️ (also you're right he didn't it write the caption i did i stole his phone) ↳chigi.who: yes girl gaslight gatekeep girlboss ↳yukimiya.kenyu: AND WHY ARE YOU GUYS ENCOURAGING HER?? ↳yourusername: bc has balls = no opinion /j ↳yukimiya.kenyu: i see how it is ↳shiidoryu: BALLS MENTIONED RAHHHH 🤬🤬🐺🐺🗣🗣‼‼💯💯😎😎🔫🔫💣💣🔥🔥🔛🔝 ↳hiyori: who let this creature out

user2: my roman empire is how their faces fit together ↳julian.loki: that looks so fucking weird when you write it but ok ↳yourusername: SROP BEING A HATER JS BC U DON'T PULL ↳julian.loki: I DO PULL TFYM 🤬🤬🐺🐺I'M THE ALPHAEST ALPHA ↳yoursername: NO YOU DON'T YOU'RE ALMOST ALWAYS SURROUNED BY SHIRTLESS SWEATY BALL LOVING MEN WHO HAVE "MONSTERS" IN THEM ↳hiyori: soccer players just say soccer players please ↳mikka.kaiser: FOOTBaLL PLAYERS* ↳yukimiya.kenyu: ignoring these dried pieces of celery tysm me n her are meant to be ↳yoursername: OMGOMGOMG THE KUYIMIYA YENYU WANTS ME 😍😍🙀🙀 ↳shoei.barou: kukyimiya yenyu 💀 ↳yourusername: SHUR UP 🙁🙁

yukimiya.kenyu: i'll ignore the caption AND YOU STEALING MY PHONE for now but aside from that have i told you look very pretty ↳yourusername: but you can't even see? 🧍‍♀️ ↳shiidoryu: Y/N TAKE THE FUCKING COMPLIMENT WHEN SUCH A GORGEOUS MAN COMPLIMENTS YOU, YOU ACCEPT IT ↳shiidoryu: also real you can't even see ↳yukimiy.kenyu: i will actually feed you both toilet water ↳yourusername: you're gonna feed me? 🥺 ↳shiidoryu: you're gonna feed us? 🥺 ↳yourusername: FUCK OFF HE'S MY BF?? ↳shiidoryu: tell sae to unblock me and i'll leave him alone ↳itoshi_sae: don't even think about dming me ab this

-liked by nikkoki, alexis.ness and 134.2k others

yourusername: right now, right now baby, i don't care about the other summer (kenyu is the rat, rat is kenyu)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

yukimiya.kenyu: first of all i am not your crush i'm your bf?? second of all I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A RAT ↳kuniisuke: seems like something a rat face would say ↳megubachi: no bc y/n said it so it's canon ↳yourusername: still my real one fr ↳megubachi: twins ↳isaichii: bsdhira hiw ciulf yoi do tijs to me ↳rin.itoshi: some please translate that AGAIN ↳yourusername: "bachira how could you do this to me" ↳megubachi: sorry shnookums ↳isaichii: sorry guys kaiser got out of his cage (again) and started chasing me like a duck (again) ↳mikka.kaiser: you still haven't come to papa ↳reo.miikage: again what the fuck?

user2: the moment my f1 addicted brain saw the second picture it instantly said "i have never looked so good" ↳hiyori: LECLERC 🔛🔝 ↳yoursername: NAHH VERSTAPPEN ALL THE WAY🔛🔝 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: said it before and i'll say it again HAMILTON DOMINATION 🔛🔝 ↳julian.loki: hear me the fuck out. logan sargeant 🔥🔥🐺🐺 ↳shiidoryu: RAHHHH WHATS A KILOMETER 🔫🔫💣💣💯💯‼‼😎😎🐺🐺🔛🔝 ↳rin.itoshi: please seek help

mikka.kaiser: NEW JEANS MENTIONED RAHHHHHHH ↳mikka.kaiser: and we can go high 말해봐 yeah 느껴봐 mm-mm ↳alexis.ness: take him to the sky you know, i hype you, boy ↳mikka.kaiser: i raised you well, good boy ↳itoshi_sae: please be kinky, disgusting and possibly gay somewhere else ↳mikka.kaiser: we're not gay ↳alexis.ness: we're not?

yukimiya.kenyu: i see a drop dead gorgeous person right there ↳yourusername: awww ily 🥺🥺 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: oh look you're there too ↳oliver.aiku: LMFAO

nikkoki: jokes aside the first picture is so cute ↳yourusername: thank you 👉👈😝

aryu.jubei: did he try yanking your hair (send hair care routine pls) ↳yourusername: no he didn't SUPRISNGLY (ofc pooks) ↳kuniisuke: dammit ↳yourusername: WHY DO YOU WANT ME HURT SO BAD 🙁🙁 ↳rin.itoshi: surpisngly* ↳shiidoryu: YOU GOT IR WRONG TOO LMFAO

HI CHAT!!111!11 I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS LIKE A CENTURY AGO BUT ITS FINE (i had school and i came home at like 5 and i had volleyball and track practice and i had to study bc i have exams every week pls save me also i had parent teacher conference and i didn't get cooked) HAPPY SATURDAY GAYS!🐺🐺

also if you took offense to any jokes i'm sorry i really don't mean any of it. i made references to some previous posts bc why not and i love f1 jokes so 😝😝

[420days]

Chapter 2

masterlist

"Come on momma. We're gonna get you and my nephew something to eat." Sabrina rubbed her best friend's stomach as they walked out the doctors office.

Kaliyah walked behind her friend slowly feeling sad as ever. Considering she found out she was having a baby boy you'd think she would be happy but she was feeling the exact opposite.

Just three months ago she found out she was two months pregnant with her baby and it felt so unreal.

From the moment she found out she was pregnant she was filled with nothing but mixed emotions.

She even contemplated getting an abortion and showed up to the appointment but at the last minute she couldn't bring herself to do it. The thought of having an abortion was more to burry her feelings about Jey rather than her not wanting a baby.

She wanted to keep her baby and that's what she decided to do.

"What do you want to eat?"

"I'm not hungry. I just wanna go home." Kaliyah told her as she put her seatbelt on and turned towards the window.

"I know you're upset but you can't starve my nephew. What does he want? A deluxe combo and a lemonade?" She teased.

Rolling her eyes Kaliyah broke into a small smile. The sound of food made her happy no matter what.

These days all her son craved was Chick Fil A which was weird to her because she didn't care for it too much before she got pregnant

"Whatever, just give my son some food."

It didn't take them long to get their food considering how great Chick Fil A's customer service was. The food didn't stand a chance and was gone before she even got home.

"Call me tomorrow and stop being so sad!" Sabrina yelled as Kaliyah walked to the door and took her keys out.

"Bye Sabrina!" She stuck up the middle finger.

When she got in the house she stepped out of the clothes she was wearing and hopped in the shower.

She was exhausted because all day Sabrina drove her around making her run errands with her in order to get her out the house. While she appreciated her friends effort all she wanted to do was stay in the house until the baby got here.

As she brushed her hair into a ponytail her phone vibrated with a message from a familiar number.

Picking up her phone she read over the message before responding.

Maybe (Jey 💗): What u want?

I need to tell something important. Can I call you?

Maybe(Jey 💗): Nah, you can text me what you want before I change my mind about unblocking you

I'm pregnant

Maybe(Jey 💗): ????

Maybe(Jey 💗): So what you tryna say it's mine?

Please don't do that. You know it's yours.

Maybe (Jey 💗): I don't know nothing. Ima need a test before you put anything on me.

Nevermind, forget I even brought it up. You can just block me again.

I don't know why I even wasted my time with you.

My and my baby will be fine.

Maybe(Jey 💗): Calm down, how I know you're not fucking with me?

Why would I be wasting my time? You made it clear you don't fucking like me. I'm putting my feelings and pride aside to reach out to you so my son can have a father in his life but really just forget it.

Maybe(Jey 💗): Son?

She read over her last message and decided to just leave it alone. She was over going back and for with him. If he didn't believe her than that's what it is.

Shaking her head she turned her phone off and prepared herself for some much needed sleep.

-

On the other side of town. Jey sat in his car, smoking a unt to calm his nerves. Ever since Kaliyah told him she was pregnant his mind was all over the place. He wasn't ready to be a father but if it was his baby he wouldn't have a choice but to step up to his responsibilities.

Especially when it comes to having a son. Every kid needed their father but with a son it was just different. There were so many things he learned from his father and it was only right to pass that down to his son.

Staring down at his down he went to his message thread to see if he had any message from Kaliyah but there was nothing. The messages he attempted to her send her weren't delivering and it was pissing him off.

"I know her ass ain't block me." He mumbled to himself as he put the blunt out and turned on his car.

After turning a 30 minutes drive into a 15 minute drive he arrived at Kaliyahs house. He knew from her car out front that she was home and that annoyed him even more.

Parking his car behind hers he got out the car and knocked on her door as hard as he could.A few moments later she found these her coming the stairs and yanked the front door open.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Banging on my door like that?" She yelled at him but he was too mesmerized by her large stomach peaking from her tank top and her small pajama shorts.

"Hello!" She snapped her finger in his face making him look up at her. Her pregnancy has her looking different and he liked it. Every part of her body filled out, her hair was longer and she carried a nice glow on her face.

"Can you stop yelling? I ain't come over here for that." He sucked his teeth once he snapped back into reality.

"What do you want?"

"Let's go inside."

"No, you're coming in my house. And I just lit some sage earlier, tuh.” She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah? Did your skin start burning?" He said smartly making her squint her eyes at him.

"What the fuck ever. If there's nothing you want you can leave my home." She waved him off.

"Listen, I'm trying to fix this shit. Can we go inside and talk?" He asked her.

"We can sit in your car."

"I just smoked in there. Y'all don't need to be around that." He told her and she nodded knowing it wasn't good for the baby.

Stepping back from the door she let him inside of the house and made her way into the living room.

“That's my baby?" He asked her after they sat in slings for a moment.

"Yes, I really don't know why you keep asking me that. If you want a test pay for it when the baby gets here or don't. I really don't care at this point."

“ I can't ask? I haven't seen you in five months I don't know what you be doing Kay."

"Whose fault is that? I didn't break your heart and block you on everything." She rolled her eyes.

"Why you keep saying I broke your heart? I was honest with you from the start."

"You just don't get it." She shook her head.

"I really don't so tell me."

"You said you wanted to have sex. And that's what we did but then we started texting all day, falling asleep on the phone, going out together and then you go me pregnant. The whole time we're doing things that's more than just fucking and it meant nothing to you. Like it literally meant nothing and that's fine. I hurt my own feelings thinking that those things actually meant something so I can't be mad at you." She wiped her face.

"I never meant to break your heart. You're a good person for real and I took a liking to you but I'm really not ready for all that. I don't wanna be tied down in a relationship and that's why I distanced myself from you. I knew you started feeling a way and that's not what I intended." He said honestly, breaking her heart all over again.

"That's cool, let's just take care of our baby." She told him.

"I can do that."

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄ ⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄ ⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆

tags: @bebesobrielo @trentybenty @amandairene88 @kiki1704 @paigereeder @uceyliyahh @skyesthebomb @cyberdejos2 @chloeijuana @tian-monique

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄ ⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄ ⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆

[kafka-ish]

part 1

Patrick asks Art if he got the stuff and how much to which Art replies: yea just an 8th tho and Patrick replies Dude wtf

No dude. You never told me your dealer was hot!!!

Don’t bother. Asked if she’d trade head for half. Wouldn’t budge. Strict business or whatever.

Two seconds later: Still. I’d tap that.

Art decides against telling him about the sample he got. Sticks the joint you rolled in his desk drawer. Does weed have an expiration date? he wonders. He drops by Patrick’s who asks how the deal went. If you gave him a discount for it being his first time and all.

“How much’d she charge?” Patrick wonders aloud, comparing prices in his head, secretly hoping his friend got ripped off.

It takes Art awhile to settle on a number. He still doesn’t know the price of weed. “Like fifty?”

“For an eighth?” Patrick laughs at this like okay this chick is insane and Art realizes he said the wrong thing.

“She said it was the good stuff.” Art shrugs, trying to play it off.

“Whatever man, but you need to learn how to negotiate… So we gonna smoke this shit or what?”

Art begins to make appearances more frequently. But he has to be calculated with how he goes about this. Doesn’t want to seem desperate, hooked on fucking weed. How pathetic. He has to pace himself. At first his visits are periodic. Comes by a few times a month for his regular pick up. But he can’t get enough. Sporadic turns into every other week and every other week turns into Friday nights after his games or if not a tournament, practice. He’s at your door with takeout in hand. Something different every time; he keeps you on your feet and you like the surprise. Tacos, Thai, Lo Mien. Indian when he wins his matches.

You don’t smoke with him at first when he asks, though; you have a rule about smoking up with clients.

“Oh,” he says, feeling defeated. Disappointed that’s how you think of him.

“You still want that eighth?” you ask.

“Um, no. Actually I think I’m gonna go.”

“Art,” you say and the sound of your voice calling his name has him frozen in place. His hand is still on the knob for a moment before it drops, falls by his side. He wipes it on his pants, a habit he has. "Don't do this."

"What? Change my mind?"

"No--"

"You're not trying to peer pressure me, are you?" You wonder if Art's being serious right now. If he's using your methodology of paying tuition and groceries against you. It's your turn to freeze.

"Fine then. Leave. But just so you know I wasn't the one hitting up strangers for weed." You're calm when you say this, only making it harder for Art to reach for the door once more.

Of course, he comes crawling back. Ends up blowing up your phone.

Art: Hey

Art: I'm sorry for what i said the other day. I wasn't thinking. Obviously. It just hurt when u called me a customer. Which i guess i technically am. I dont kno.

Art: I think ur really cool

Art: I guess i just wanted to smoke with someone other than patrick

Art: Did i mention i think ur really cool

You roll your eyes at the thread of messages, how they still come in and your phone can't stop vibrating; you're not finished reading but it keeps pinging. Still, you're smiling. Can't help but read his texts over and over again before responding and you feel a heat on your cheeks when you haven't even lit up.

You text him the same thing when he always texts you after one of his games: My place 9?

"You think I'm cool, huh?" You nudge Art, sitting next to you on the couch. His legs are crossed, facing yours.

Art blushes at the question, the pressure you put him under. Finally musters up the courage to say, “yeah. Really cool.” Then leans in, does that thing that guys do where they grab your jaw, almost caresses it, then brings you in to kiss your lips. It’s soft. Gentle. Thinks he might hurt you if he’s not careful. And he doesn’t linger long but you can taste his chapstick. Mint. You miss him already when his lips leave yours and your tongue sweeps over where flesh once was, itching for another taste.

He sees this. Locks his lips on yours again. Instinct. It's just as quick and sweet as the first one. You feel him grin when his mouth meshes with yours and the sensation of his smile pressing into your cheeks gets you all giddy-like.

“So does that mean you’ll smoke with me?” His smile doesn’t leave when you pull away. And you see his eyebrows are raised while his eyes are blue and bright. A dash of hope shimmers in them and you can see your reflection in them.

“Yeah,” you say, hushed, almost a whisper as if you can’t bring yourself to say it out loud. You’re breaking your rules for him, is what Art’s thinking. And you tell yourself it’s just a one time exception but when he comes over next Friday you find yourself rolling a joint and passing it to him in between kisses.

And now it’s your routine.

He doesn’t need to text you asking for an eighth and you don’t need to tell him what time and place. He just shows up after practice. Of course, you expect him.

“I hope I didn’t get you addicted.”

“Nah.” Art’s lean frame is already hanging on the doorway and he doesn’t come inside immediately when you welcome him in. Instead, he takes you in his arms. They feel stronger each time. Plants a big wet kiss on your lips. And he is addicted. Just not what you think.

[scekrex]

There's a chance you've already done this prompt before but it's hard for me to check so if you've already done a fic like this dont worry Abt it! Adam x Male!reader btw.

Maybe a "I wish you were a girl" situation, but more from the readers point of view? Like he knows Adam has ever shown interest in girls, and constantly bitches about his wives. (And only ever flirts with random angels who are girls) So when Reader realizes he has a crush on him, he has doubts and never ever thinks that Adam would ever like him back. (Even tho I'm a firm believer of bi Adam.)

I don't know where to go from there, but maybe the reader figures out he DOES have a chance somehow? That or just straight up hurt/no comfort...

Okay so I don't think I've written this or something similar before and if u have I don't remember so here ya go <3

He likes a girl and I'm not a girl

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you

For a guy who claimed to be a simple man, Adam was quite complicated in your eyes, though that had more to do with his behavior towards you than with anything else. On the outside everything was fine, the two of you were just pals - quite close pals but nothing more.

On the inside however - or specifically on your inside - the knowledge of being ‘just friends’ ate you up like a five star meal. Because how were you supposed to enjoy the beauty of Heaven if a certain brunette kept shattering your heart over and over again? How were you supposed to enjoy the divine afterlife they had promised you when the man you liked kept flirting with girls - girls who only looked half as good as you, girls who were good at sucking his dick and making pretty eyes at him, girls who were whores. You desperately wanted to grab Adam by his shoulders and shake him, you wanted to shake some sense into him, wanted to punch his face and kiss his lips at the same time and while you definitely were able to punch his face without ruining the friendship, you were quite unable to kiss his soft looking and inviting lips without setting the bond the two of you had formed on fire.

Adam was not into guys, he had made that clear over the past thousand years, he was ‘dating’ - more like hooking up with - women and women only and even if the first man would be into men, there was no guarantee that he would be into you. But there wasn’t even the slightest chance for you, Adam wasn’t into men and you - a man - were into Adam. It was doomed to fail, doomed to tear your heart apart over and over again but you refused to leave his side. You cared about the stupid fucker and while it burned to see him happy with women - women who weren’t you and you whow ould never be a woman - you were glad that Adam had found something that brought him joy, even if that meant that you would suffer from the indescribable pain of unrequired love.

A price that sounded so meaningful, so expensive but then you would see Adam’s golden eyes, filled with pride and pure happiness whenever he talked to you about whatever chick he had fucked over the weekend. It was easy to tune his words out and simply watch his facial expressions change, it was so easy to ignore the fact that he was literally telling you about having sex with women you have never met and would never meet. And yet it was so hard.

If only God would have made you a woman, a beautiful one that would be Adam’s type. And while your looks would fit Adam’s type, your gender very much didn’t, oh the price you were willing to pay to be a woman just for one day, just so you could be Adam’s for a single day. But that would not happen, neither of it would. God would not turn you into a woman and you wouldn’t be Adam’s, not for a day and certainly not for longer.

The worst part of it all? Adam’s unintentional yet hurtful comments.

“Y’know,” he had once said after one of his gigs as he had his arm wrapped around your shoulders. You were expecting the first man to tell you which of the women in the crowd he’d invite backstage but instead of doing that he had leaned in close, so close that his hot breath was hitting your cheek. “If you were a chick I’d make you mine in no fucking time, dude.”

If you were a chick.

But you weren’t and as long as that was the case Adam was not interested in you in any other way than being friends. And while you had laughted it off, his words had haunted you for days, fuck they had even followed you in your sleep.

Or another time when you and him had gotten shitfaced during the boys night out. His arm had been around your waist, his other hand was roaming over your body stopping at your chest, squeezing it, “For a dude you have fucking nice tits, man.” The alcohol had been audible in his voice and despite the fact that he was aware that you weren’t one of his girls, he kept touching you.

-

The first man was sitting next to you, your side was pressed flush against his as his arm was resting on the backrest of the couch right behind your head. Confidently he spoke, “So y’know how you’re into dudes?” Now that was straight up the dumbest question the first man had ever asked you and lets just say that he asked quite a lot of stuff. You fake gasped at him, “What, I’m into dudes? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” That earned you a playful smack on the back of your head, turning your shocked expression into an amused grin. “Fuckhead,” the first man mumbled, “I’m being fucking serious here.” You simply shook your head in amusement, not quite sure where this conversation would lead you to - why was Adam suddenly interested in the fact that you liked men? Was he trying to set you up with someone?

“Yeah, why though?” you hummed right before you took a sip of your drink - a thing you regretted only seconds later when Adam said, “Do you know any fuckable dudes?” The sip wasn’t swallowed, instead you spit it out in pure shock.

What did he just say?

[luvsturniolo]

hi!! i rlly love ur writing and i wanted to ask if i could request something where readers reputation is ruined by a false rumor which leads reader to thinking they aren’t loveable but chris doesn’t think that cause he’s in love with her?

basically the trope “one believes they’re hard to love and someone who loves them like it’s breathing”.

ー ★ !! unloveable

pairing : chris sturniolo x fem!reader

synopsis : after some bad rumors are past around social media, you begin to overthink about whether or not you’re even loveable

a/n : ok but why this is request so fucking adorable ???? like the trope u put at the end makes me want to put my blood, sweat, and tears into this. UGHHHHH no matter who it's written, i'm gonna be 100% convinced it's not good enough because i love this prompt so insanely much

wc : 3.7k

you have been friends with the triplets for a few years now, and you all agreed to keep your face off of social media. it started when you jokingly voiced that you were a bit scared to be judged by the entire world. the triplets — mainly chris — took this seriously, though. they know how difficult it can be to have millions of eyes glued to you at all times. due to their awareness, nick suggested that you stayed off of their platforms to avoid any backlash that you're not ready for.

to be honest, at first you were a bit skeptical of his idea. i mean, you'd never had a ton of random people watching you like they always do. it seems easy enough, though. just make sure to keep your privacy hidden and don't do anything bad on camera. despite your questions, you agreed with nick's proposal. plus, the triplets are the experts here ; not you.

it's been three years since you guys came to this agreement. and it's been working out pretty well, frankly. nobody knows that you're friends with the triplets at all. nobody even has had the thought cross their mind. you're a random chick with a few hundred followers and they're famous youtubers with millions. no sane person would make that connection.

a year and a half ago, you and chris started dating. your relationship is the healthiest you've ever been in. he's caring, he listens when you talk, he hugs you a lot, he likes to compliment you, he buys 'just because' flowers.

you have had a past of toxic relationships. you told chris about them and he's been trying his hardest to heal the mental scars your exes have left behind. one of your past boyfriends was manipulative, another one was narcissistic, another was a proud cheater, and the last wasn't even present in your life.

"hey," you whisper into the darkness before you.

you're currently at the triplets' house, staying the night. nick texted you and asked if you wanted to have a sleepover — which you happily agreed to. you'd been watching a movie with nick in his room for the past hour or two, but he fell asleep a few minutes ago. you were on your way to sneak into chris's room when you heard someone rummaging through the kitchen cabinets.

overtaken by curiosity, you tip-toed down the hall to see who it was. you poked your head around the corner to make sure it wasn't an intruder. your nerves instantly calmed down at the sight of your boyfriend, hungrily searching for a midnight snack.

"hey," he answers, turning around to face you as you stand in the doorway, "why are you still up? it's late."

"i could ask you the same thing." you tell him with a light chuckle shaking your chest. you then walk into the kitchen and over to where chris stands in front of the pantry. he smiles down at you, causing your stomach to twist. its pretty crazy to think that you still get butterflies from him. most people say that you won't feel giddy forever, but you seem to have proven that theory to be incorrect. it's been nearly two years and you still get flustered when he smiles at you.

you lift your hands into the air before dramatically flopping down onto his chest. your wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face into his shirt. he smells like home, a comforting scent that always makes you relax as it meets your nostrils. chris grins down at you before wrapping his arms around your torso, holding you by the waist lovingly.

"i'm assuming nick fell asleep?" he asks you.

not in the mood to open your mouth, you simply nod in response. he feels your head shift against his chest and he accepts the answer. normally, he teases you for being lazy. but chris loves it when you're sleepy like this. he loves seeing you all delirious and disoriented. teasing you would be like taunting a lost puppy — it's not right. morally.

"he always falls asleep when you guys watch movies together." chris says as though you didn't know that. "didn't he promise to stay awake this time? i thought you guys were planning to pull and all-nighter."

"that didn't happen." you say. your voice comes out muffled from his shirt presses to your face. "he pinky promised to stay awake, but fell asleep thirty minutes into the film we were watching. i stayed up and finished it, though."

"you finished it before or after you came to find me?" chris asks with a laugh. you just roll your eyes as a smile grazes your lips. he can feel the way your mouth pulls upward against his skin. knowing that you're smiling and he can't see it kinda pisses him off. your smile is his favorite thing in the whole world and he's missing it? that's completely unacceptable.

you yawn, blinking a few times to keep yourself from succumbing to slumber. chris notices your fatigue and asks if you're ready for bed. "yes, please!" you respond eagerly, excited to lay down with him and go to sleep in his arms. chris laughs at your excitement, honestly finding it adorable that you're so impatient to sleep.

the two of you walk back to his room together and you grin at the sight of his bed. you rush ahead of him and flop down onto the mattress. your face is pointed up at the ceiling as chris plops down next to you, looking at the ceiling as well.

"is this your equivalent to star gazing?" he asks you, knowing how obsessed you are with the thought of looking at stars together. it's something you've always begged him to do with you. but chris has refused. not because he doesn't want to, but because he wants to do it right. you're looking forward to doing this so bad that he refuses to settle for anything less than the absolute best.

he thinks the stars aren't bright enough in the city. he wants to bring you out to a field and look at them. but you still complain about it constantly — unaware of his little plan.

"yeah," you say with a groan, "since my boyfriend won't look at stars with me, i have to look at your popcorn ceiling instead. my standards have been lowered for you by a lot, i hope you know!"

chris laughs, leaning over to place a kiss on your forehead. he stays hovering over you before he whispers "soon, baby." against your skin. the feeling of his lips grazing your head tickles, making you giggle a little. chris's grin widens at the sound. he sits up and watches your giggles fade away, enjoying the bliss of seeing you smile like this.

"what?" you ask with a laugh, noticing the way your boyfriend is staring at you shamelessly.

"nothing." he replies with a shrug. "you're just so beautiful, i can't help but stare."

you look at him with nothing but admiration behind your gaze. it's truly surreal how far you've come in such a little amount of time. just a few years ago, you were in a toxic relationship with a guy who cheated on you with a different girl each night. and whenever you would confront him about it, he would turn it into an argument — which he would win every time. but now? now you're with chris. who is the literal epitome of perfection. you genuinely want to spend the rest of your life with him. nothing else matters but you two.

you and chris end the night in each other's arms. he holds your body against his side, your face buried in the crook of his neck.

the both of you find yourselves falling into an easy, dreamless slumber. this is your favorite place in the world — his arms. no matter what's wrong in your life, the feeling of security always patches every issue. regardless of how messy.

after a few hours of bliss, you jump awake at the sound of chris's bedroom door slamming open. the back of the door hits his wall, the sound of impact waking up chris as well. you feel his shift next to you, his arms still wrapped around your waist. you groan, not wanting to open your eyes.

suddenly, you hear chris gasp. then he pulls the blanket over your face, holding you against his chest protectively. of course, your mind jumps to the worst conclusion — someone broke in and you're all gonna die! you find out that this wasn't this case, though, when you hear chris's voice begin to scold his brother.

"nicolas!" chris shouts. the anger in his voice tells you that this is serious and you should stay out of it. "what the actual fuck are you thinking!?"

"i didn't know you guys were cuddling!" nick tries to defend himself. "if i'd known, i wouldn't have come in! you know i respect your decision to keep y/n hidden! why the hell would i ever do this on purpose!?"

"well where else would she be sleeping if she wasn't with you!?" chris argues back.

slowly, you peak your head out from under the blanket before cautiously asking, "what happened?"

"nick thought it'd be clever to start a live stream at eleven in the fucking morning! then, he had the bright idea to come in here and surprise us!" chris explains, still very very pissed off. "and of course he didn't think to knock like a normal person. he instead took it upon himself to walk right on in and record us!"

"i thought it was just chris!" nick says, stuffing his phone in his pocket now that he's ended the live. "i don't even know if anyone saw her. maybe they missed it and we can just say that it was matt?"

"why the fuck would i be snuggling matt?"

you laugh, trying to lighten the mood. "chris, lets be real. you cuddle your brother more than your girlfriend."

"i love you," chris says softly, "but it's now is not the time for jokes. this could be a huge fucking problem."

"okay, i'm sorry." you're quick to apologize, stretching up to press a kiss to his cheek before gently whispering, "i love you too." against skin.

you notice nick slowly back out of chris's room, not wanting to be around if chris decides to get angry again. you glance up at your boyfriend only to see that he's already staring at nick's departing form. chris is obviously still angry, but he doesn't seem to care enough to argue with his brother again. so he lets nick leave without giving him a hard time.

once nick is completely out of the room, you hear chris sigh. like it's a pained, saddened sigh that makes you want to cry for him. you look up to meet his worried eyes already glancing down at you.

"hey," you whisper, propping yourself up on your elbow to look at him better. "it'll be okay. we'll work it out like we always do." chris smiles at this before leaning down to press a slow, gentle kiss to your lips. you kiss him back before giggling and grimacing away from it. "i have horrid morning breath. let me brush my teeth before you kiss me."

you begin to move around toward the edge of the bed, aiming to leave and brush your teeth so you can start the day. before you can even make it to the side of the mattress, you feel chris's arms wrap around your torso and pull your body backward against his chest.

"i don't care about your breath," he tells you, "i just want you to stay with me a while longer. brush your teeth later."

you chuckle, "that's so nasty."

"pleeeease," he begs, tightening his grip around you, pulling your body firmly against his own. "stay with me, baby."

chris know how you feel about pet names. you hate them. they make you cringe. but when he whispers it against the back of your neck and you feel his breath against the hairs of your skin, you can't help the butterflies that swarm your stomach. you instantly give in and twist around to hug him.

"okay. i'll stay." you inform him, returning to the position you guys were in while sleeping. you shut your eyes before continuing. "but don't ever call me baby again."

"why not?" chris asks, clearly upset. "i could tell you liked it by the way you gave in so quickly. why can't i call you a nickname every once in a while. i think they're cute."

you groan, "i'm sleepy. let's talk about this later."

chris agrees and you both fall back asleep, enjoying the comfort of being in each other's arms. you know that no matter what happens with the media seeing your face, you'll always have chris by your side. nothing else is important as long as he is next to you.

the next time you wake up, it's bright outside.

you're no longer in chris's arms with him spooning you. you're now laying diagonally across the bed with your head in his lap as he scrolls through his phone. you blink a few times to let your eyes focus to the light of the room.

"mornin' baby." he says, quickly shutting off his phone and hiding it under his leg.

the action of him hiding his phone is enough to distract you from the use of the pet name. you raise a brow at his behavior, growing a bit concerned. you trust chris more than anything, but considering your history with cheaters, you can't help the annoyance that resides in your gut.

"what were you looking at, hm?" you ask him, trying not to be rude or anything. you want to stay calm with him because it's probably nothing.

"nothing, babe."

again, you ignore the nickname and focus on his suspicious demeanor. you thin your eyes at him, trying to read his body language. but it's difficult. he doesn't seem like he was texting some random chick, but why else would he hide his phone from you? you guys always share everything because he knows how you can get with this sort of thing.

curiosity overtaking your mind, you reach over and snatch his phone out from under his leg. chris opens his mouth to argue, but doesn't do anything to stop you from opening it and going to his recently opened app.

he was on tiktok, scrolling through the comments of some random fan page. you shoot chris a weird look before reading a few of them, your heart dropping to your ass from a mix of embarrassment and shame.

"did y'all see nick's live this morning?"

"who tf was that girl w chris? lmao she's not even pretty 💀"

"i found the chick's insta and she's apparently been in some rly shitty relationships. i mean lets be real. chris has never seriously dated anyone but this girl has been cheated on, manipulated, and abused? there's a clear denominator here. she's def done smth to cause that (for attention i'm guessing) "

"guys chris won't stay w her for long anyway after he finds out ab her ugly history!"

you read through the comments with an expression of pure disgust. how the fuck are these people going to sit here and talk bad about you when you've never even shown your face on the triplets channel? it's completely unfair.

you look at chris, but he's looking away. you wonder why he hasn't defended you on this. also, he was reading these people's opinions with a straight face. you begin to worry if he believes what they're saying. you glance back down at his screen, reading the third comment over and over.

there's a clear denominator here they had said. i mean, they're not necessarily wrong about that. you've been in bad relationships whereas chris has never dated anyone for a long period of time. in this light, of course you look like the bad guy. you can't technically blame their fans for judging you. you're easy to judge.

tears begin to prick your eye and you hand chris back his phone before wordlessly standing up from the bed and leaving his room. not once did he try to stop you or ask you to stay with him. you walk down the triplets' hallway and enter the bathroom, locking the door behind you and sitting down on the closed toilet seat.

you hold your face in your hands and try your hardest not to start crying over a bunch of teenagers talking shit on your name. but you can't help the intense weight on your chest and the lump in your throat.

to be honest, you don't give a shit about their insults. what you care about is the fact that they're right. you don't deserve someone like chris. he's so sweet and kind and understanding while you're irritable and skeptical of every little thing he does. you've done nothing to earn someone like him. maybe you have only ever been in toxic situations because that's what you deserve.

before you can stop them, tears begin to pour from your eyes. your cheeks become soaked with your pain. your entire body trembles as you sob into your hands, making it harder and harder to breathe correctly.

you love chris. you love him more than anything. you want to share the rest of your life with him. but you don't want to make him settle for less — the less in this case being your relationship. he deserves someone better. someone who won't snatch his phone from him when he's only trying to protect you from pain. someone who will let him call you pentanes because he loves them. someone who will be better. someone who's not you.

suddenly, you hear a knock at the door.

already knowing who it is, you tell chris to go away. your voice comes out shaky and hoarse, making it incredibly easy to know you'd been crying. the tone practically screams at him, saying that you're upset over something he tried to save you from in the first place.

"will you please let me in, baby?" chris asks. his voice is soft and gentle. you're suddenly craving the feeling of being in his arms. the feeling of being loved. the feeling of having him comfort you.

the greedy emotions you feel paired with the nickname makes it impossible to not open the door for him. you shuffle over to the door and let him in. you sit back down on the toilet seat, keeping your head downcast the whole time as to not see his face or show your tears.

you stare at the floor, watching his feet pad across the tiled floor before he stops in front of you. he drops to his knees so his face is in line with yours. you quickly turn away and stare at the shower curtain, letting your hair to cover your puffy eyes.

chris sighs before grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him. he lifts his other hand to your hair, tucking it behind your ears so he can admire every inch of your beauty with no veil to cover the rawness of it. he lets out a shaky exhale, using his thumb to wipe away your tears. all the while, you keep your eyes pinned to his face. you watch every single movement he makes, knowing that you don't deserve any of the kindness he's offering you.

knowing that this relationship will not last forever, you begin to cry again. you lean forward and rest your forehead against chris's shoulder, allowing tears to pool from your eyes as he rubs a hand up and down your back.

"what's going on in that pretty head of yours?" he asks with his voice in a whisper. "i wanna know what you're thinking so i can tell you how irrational it is."

you laugh at him, but it just causes you to let out a choked sob. his humor is your favorite part about him. the fact that chris can make you laugh in any given situation is what you adore most. hearing him do it while you're thinking of how to break the news that you're leaving him so he can find someone better? this is gut wrenching.

"i love you." you tell him. "so, so fucking much."

"i love you too." he replies easily, not thinking anything of the fact that you're telling him this right now. but when you continue, chris begins to put the pieces together and he starts vigorously shaking his head in refusal.

"these past two years have been the best of my whole life," you tell him with a wavering voice. "but you deserve better. you deserve the world. and i can't offer that to you, chris."

"i don't want the fucking world." he says, grabbing you by the shoulders and pulling you to be in front of him to look you in the eyes. "i want you and only you."

"but-"

"no." he interrupts. "i don't give a single fuck what anyone else thinks. and i'm sorry, but i don't even really care what you think right now. because you're all wrong. i belong with you and i don't want anyone else even if i was paid a million dollars."

you stare at him with wide eyes, your dried tears still adorning your skin. the would could be ending outside, and you would stay in this bathroom and continue to stare at chris. his eyes are so gorgeously blue that you find yourself getting lost in them.

if you guys get married and live the rest of your lives together, your bodies will change. your skin will wrinkle. your hair will grey. your lips will thin. your hands will shake. your back will hunch. nothing about your appearance is permanent. nothing except the eyes. the shade, the hue, and the iris will all stay the same until they close for the last time. and you can't wait to look into chris's eyes for the rest of your life.

"i think you would be crazy to reject a million dollars for me." you tell him with a little giggle, wiping at your cheeks to rid them of the leftover tears.

chris's heart flutters at the sight of your smile, "there she is."

tags : @kasqnxx @lvrsparadise @prettysturniolo @strniolo @urmyslxt @cupidsturniolo @opheliaofficial07 @thetriplets3 @sturn1olo-ffics @uhnanix @deadxrx @kitaysworld @lovelysturniolo @wilmalovegood @ladylokilaufeyson5 @sturniolopepsi @strnilolo @knowingnothingnoel @its-jennarose @lea0518 @slaysturniolo @sturnlover @tcvazq

[nellielsss]

ɢᴏᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴀɪʀ ᴅᴏɴᴇ, ɴᴀɪʟꜱ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏᴏ!

╰┈➤ A new outfit and your Fendi shoes ᡣ𐭩

For when your man sees you after you ran your "errands," AKA getting a blowout, mani-pedi, and anything else you might've needed done. Who is he to resist when his chick looks so good? (Songfic inspired by Jumpin' Jumpin' by Destiny's Child.) Toji Fushiguro/Zen'in x transfem!reader (pre-Mamagumi because you are Mamagumi) Includes: Toji Fushiguro (might add more chars later! this is just me testing the waters)

╰┈➤ It's a well known fact that Toji Zen'in doesn't come from a whole lot of money (well, he does; he was just abused and kicked out by said money), but that was never an issue for the man when it came to making it. He could earn plenty of money other ways such as taking up odd jobs, carrying out bounties, etc. So when he started dating your high maintenance self, he knew he'd have to up his earnings in order to provide for you (partner lemme Upgrade U). He's a simple man after all - why wouldn't he wanna provide for you, even if it was just by giving you a few hundred dollars to run your errands? Quite possibly the only thing that he kept from his family was his provider mentality. Never again would he see someone close to him suffer or starve because of his shortcomings.

Hearing the car pull into the lot, Toji knew it was you when you came home from the music that he could hear through the walls—that infectious late 90s beat creeping through his veins. He paused the MMA fight he was watching, turning around as the door hinges creaked open.

"Tojiii, I’m home!" you sang from the doorway, putting your keys away in your cute little Dior saddle (the one Toji got you after saving up several paychecks). Toji walked over with a big grin on his face, encircling his arms around your body out of habit. "Uh-uh, don't touch the hair just yet," you piped up, putting your hands in front of him to stop him from getting too close to you and potentially ruining your perfect hair.

Toji couldn't help but let out a laugh and shake his head. "C'mon, doll, just lemme give you a kiss," he said in that deliciously raspy voice of his. You reluctantly obliged, letting him put his hands on your hips, pull you in for a kiss, and sigh into it. "Now, let's see those nails of yours," he added with a big grin on his face, taking both of your hands and holding them up.

He let out a low whistle. "Damn, baby, that's a good manicurist ya got there. I should give them a big fat tip for keeping my girl so cute." The design in question were pink, blue & yellow nails with some hibiscus flowers & a cute little anime reference here & there (insert your fav Shōjo)—a perfect set for the summertime.

You let out a giggle, pulling your hands back and laughing at him. "Okay, okay, you can touch the hair," you relented, turning your head for extra effect.

"Right, the perfect hair that you don't wanna fuck up” he murmured, shaking his head. "I'm like a bull in a china shop, eh?"

"Yeah, 'cus you're a big brute," you snarked, making him smack you on the ass out of jest. He was a brute, but he knew how to be careful around you. "Nah, but for real, doll, you look fuckin' fantastic," he said in a more serious yet complimentary tone. "That bounce in your hair makes you look mighty fine."

You allowed him to run his hands through your silky, freshly-washed hair, reveling in the way his fingers felt on your scalp. "Feels even better with ol’ Toji’s fingers in it, yeah? I could touch this shit alll day long." He put his hands up when you shot him a look at that statement. "Or... for as long as you'll let me."

His hands left your scalp, only to trail down your cheek, all the way onto your chin. "Can I kiss you, princess?"

"Mhm," you murmured, bringing a scarred smile to his handsome face. He leaned in, giving you a slower, more passionate kiss than before.

"Fuck... y'lip gloss tastes so yummy," he murmured against your lips. "I can't get enough of you, y'know baby? My pretty little princess... I should show you off when you get all this shit done, make everyone 'round the block jealous."

"I was actually gonna go out with my friends later today," you piped up, pulling away slightly. "I was listening to Jumpin' Jumpin' earlier, and it made me wanna go out."

Toji didn't look disappointed at this news; rather, his smile widened. "Yeah? You havin' a girls' night?" He asked, eyebrows raised slightly. You nodded, shooting him another smile.

"Y'know, blowouts last a few days, especially when they're done by a real professional like the one I've been going to for six years. Plus, I know how to upkeep it on my own."

Toji chuckled, shaking his head. "I knew those hair products were for somethin'. Nah, I'm not upset or anything, baby; I'm happy for you—happy that you've got a nice group of girls to hangout with. You deserve it all, sweetheart. The cute outfits, the fun friends; and the sexy boyfriend of 'yers." He couldn't help but reach out and grab your jaw softly, rubbing it and eliciting a big, blushy smile from you. "Aww, would you look at that pretty smile? Love it when you smile like that. I don’t get why you used to be so insecure ‘bout it."

You pulled away once again, not wanting it to go any longer and lead to anything too sweaty. "I promise I'll come right back home afterwards. I won't give any random guys an opportunity to shoot their shot with me," you reassured him. "Y'know, I think you might've domesticated me in a way, Toji. I'm always looking forward to coming home to you after everything's said and done."

"Yeah?" he asked again, amused by your admission. "Well I'm glad, baby. We go together real well, hm?" He couldn't resist the urge to pull you in with both of his arms around your waist, nuzzling his lips into your neck. "I'm already looking forward to your homecoming, princess. I wanna feel those nails raking up and down my back."

"Toji, stop!" You said with a giggle. "You're gonna flatten my hair at this rate." "Oh, yeah? Y'know, even with flat hair, you'd still be the prettiest girl in the room. To me at least." Toji left one last kiss on your neck before letting you go, watching as you picked up the shopping bags on the floor.

"I need to go... put these clothes away before they wrinkle," you said, struggling to balance all the bags on your arms.

"Please, lemme help you," he said, grabbing the bags for you and carrying them to your shared room. He pushed the door open, carrying the bags as if they were light as air, setting them down outside of the closet. "I dunno know why you buy all that stuff if you can barely carry it. What would you do without your boyfriend?" he asked cockily.

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head just a little. "Thanks, baby," you said gratefully, pressing a kiss to Toji's cheek.

"Anytime." He eyed the bags curiously, wondering what could possibly be inside of them. A new pair of Manolos? A new dress? He would never admit it, but he loved it when you shopped and bought new things. You always had impeccable taste, and he adored the way you put yourself together. "So, doll," he finally said after mustering up the courage. "Mind letting me see what you got?"

┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ Mini-skip

Toji made sure that you made good on your word that night regarding trying out your nails. He didn't waste a single time welcoming you home after your girls' night out, taking you right up to your shared bedroom with a grin on his face, sloppily kissing up your neck and peeling off your dress.

Right now? He was all but plowing you into the mattress, as he always did when he fucked your brains out. "Fuck, baby," he growled, looking down at you as he made sweet, sweet love to you. "You always look so... fuckin' good underneath me like this, but that blowout just adds the finishing touch. Even if your... hair's all fucked up, I'll take you to the salon for another one."

You, meanwhile, weren't able to process what he was muttering into your ear. You probably couldn't even discern if he was calling you a whore or asking you to marry him; it just felt so good.

"Fuck, oh, fucking fuck, T-Toji!" You moaned into his ear, moaning and writhing about underneath the big brute's frame.

Toji let out a breathless chuckle at your incoherent babbling. "Never heard you say 'fuck' so many times in one sentence - maybe I could make you say it a few more times!"

He readjusted the angle at which he was snapping his hips into your ass, fucking you even deeper as if that could even be possible. "Feel my dick inside of ya? Rearranging your guts? Shiiit, doll, take it like you mean it. Gonna stuff ya full of my fucking cum, you won’t be able to strut 'yer shit anymore,” he drawled, slapping your jiggly ass with his calloused fingers.

He picked up on the way that you were holding onto him, your hands gripping the muscles that lined his broad back. "Such a bully," you whimpered, "quit bullyin' me, Toji! Y’know I can’t take it when you- you pound me like this!!" You complained, tears welling up in your eyes. He let out a laugh at your pleas, cooing into your ear. "C'mon, baby; I'd never bully you. I don't think bullying involves making you cum over and over again now, does it?" He cocked his head, smiling like a devil at the sight of you so fucked out because of just a few hip movements. "Besides, you know how to take it. I’ve trained you to take this dick. Remember how you could barely move when we first started dating? Shit, I'm the best tutor there is.”

After a few more huffs and strokes of the cock, he asked: “Why don't you... drag those nails down my back, yeah? Leave a few marks on my muscles?"

You eagerly obliged, raking your nails up and down his muscled back. "Yeah, that's it, there you go, my sweet baby. Make my back fuckin' bleed baby girl," he praised, purring into your ear. He threw his head back, the slightly painful scratching making him even harder and hornier (as if that was even possible).

He threw his head back then looked back down at you. "I'm gonna fuck you 'til my back's bloodier than a mary."

Suffice to say, he loved your nails.

© ʙʀᴜɴᴇᴛᴛᴇ-ʙɪᴛᴄʜ77 on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 6/5/2024

[pixxiies]

hii, how are you?? i've got a req for you to write! (the explanation is a little long please bare with me) anyways to sum it up, its kinda based of the song casual by doja cat. if you dont really the idea i think you'll kinda get it once you listen to the song, (and im not really good at writing) but to sum it up, reader and chris have got a situationship, or like their just casually hooking up w/ eachother (i dont know what the label is 😭😭) but they act like lovebirds tg, like im talking cuddling when their watching a movie w the boys, getting eachother gifts, ALL that mushy cute shit.. chris realizes that he's inlove w/ reader, and y'know how hes like afraid of commitment and proper relationships? so instead of telling her that he is, he avoids her for like 2 days,and tries to fuck with someone else to forget about her for a bit. when she comes into the house to hangout with nick, she hears him fucking another chick, and she gets JEALOUSS let me tell you. she pulls that poor girl out of the room, telling her to get dressed and when the girl leaves she starts going off at chris (gettin a lil angsty). but like the whole point of me wanting it to be based off the song was kind of so that you could realize it was based off the song, so maybe u can add lyrics! (idk, just a thought) "if you is a player, i dont think ima play with ya" , "if you wanna lay with her, why don't you just stay with her?". he tries to deflect, and i guess reader kind of confronts him about how she thinks he wants more then hooking up and he denies it, but she knows hes lyin. "you say you don't want a girlfriend but when we are in person, you always act so different, you make it all seem perfect", "you hold me when we wake up, say you like me with no makeup", "is it casual, or are you tryna spend your life with me?". anyways in my lovely optimistic mind, reader tells him its ok because shes inlove w him too, and he finally doesn't deny it. she tells him shes scared too, but they'll go through it together cuz their in luvv 😛 anyways lets just say the night ends with some slow soft sex between reader and chris. "take it off, follow me out, let me in don't shut me out" i understand if you can't do this req, but i saw your post saying you needed reqs to write on a trip tmr, and i thought of this on the spot so sorry if its really shit 😭

ꨄ ⌒ ⋆｡ ˚ CASUAL

│⊹ warnings ⋆ ;; angst if u squint, y/n is used like twice sorryyy, p in v, pet names (baby nd mama), unprotected sex, lowercase intentional, and word count is 2.2k

│⊹ pairing ⋆ ;; chris sturniolo x fem!reader

│⊹ haven’s notes ⋆ ;; hey.. how y’all doin 😙.. sorry for being gone AGAIN i keep having writers block but i wrote smth for my script so i got motivation to write again 🤌

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you have been waiting impatiently at the triplets front door for about five minutes now. finally, chris opened it for you. “took you long enough.” you scoff with a smile as you walk in. “sorry, matt almost started a fire.” the brunette boy replied, scratching his chin when closing the door.

“what?” you laugh while kicking off your shoes and leaving them on the shoe rack. "oh by the way, i got the shirt you were planning to buy." you giggle softly, handing him a bag. "oh shit! thank you!" he says excitedly as he pulls you in for a warm hug. "of course, c." you give him a toothy smile. you notice how his facial expression changes a little bit once you smiled but you brushed it off. the two you walk up the stairs into the living room and kitchen. you saw both matt and nick try to cook dinner or something. “matt! your gonna burn it’!” nick exclaimed before turning to see you.

“what are you guys even making?” you snicker as you walked up to nick to give him a small hug. “burgers but matt almost started a fire trying to grill the meat.” he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “let me help” you say, walking to the stove and shooing matt away. “but at least i didn’t, i wont do it again!” he stated while crossing his arms. “matt relax, i got this” you say while flipping the patty. the boys talk for a while and from time to time offer to help but your stubbornness always said no.

chris left an argument that he was talking about with his brothers and waddled over to you and placed his hands on your shoulders. “you sure you don’t need any help?” he asked which you reply with a nod. once you finally finished making the food, you plated them nicely on the table. “bon appetite!” you laugh while sitting down next to chris.

the four of you eat while talking about a random topic or plans of what to do for the following week. “do you guys wanna watch something?” matt offered when he finished eating. “im down” you reply and the two others agree as well.

now, nick is currently putting the dishes in the sink as you, matt, and chris are all sitting down on the couch to debate what to watch. “nah i don’t wanna watch a horror movie.” chris whined when you suggested for them to see one. “ugh fine, maybe batman again?” matt quickly agrees, of course.

chris had been laying down on your chest for about an hour or so into the movie. your hands rested on the back of his head, your fingers scratching his scalp gently from time to time and he let out small hums whenever you did. after a few minutes you desperately needed to go use the bathroom. "chris" you whisper, loud enough for only him to hear. "hm?" he hummed while looking up at you. "gotta piss, get up" you state as he slowly got up from your chest.

after you did your necessities, you walked back to the living room and sat down next to chris. only this time he patted his chest, signaling you to lay down on it. of course, you don't mind since you and chris were always so touchy so you did. while watching the last 30 minutes or so of the movie, you heard his heartbeat start pounding against his chest rapidly. mentally, you started to count each one. and you did this till the movie ended.

"thanks for coming over!" nick said to you as the triplets started to walk you downstairs. "of course! i love hanging out with you guys." you reply, looking at each of the small smiles on their faces but except for chris. he looked rather stressed and confused. instead of saying anything about it, you simply just brushed it off. you said goodbye to the three boys then left.

it had been two days since you heard anything from chris. you asked nick and matt about him and they both said that he was okay and didn't know what was wrong with him. you began to get worried, scared if it was something you did or said. so, to clear your head you decided to invite nick to the mall since it was somewhere you guys both enjoyed going together. you got to the familiar entrance of the sturniolo home, quickly seeing an excited smile from nick as soon as you knocked on the door. "hey! you ready?" you ask while pulling him into a small hug.

"yeah! let me just go grab my things real quick." the brunette boy said as he let you inside. you didn't bother taking off your shoes since you two were about to leave. upon walking up the stairs you saw matt's face that was mixed with discomfort and trying not to laugh. "what?" you and nick ask him. "whatever you do, don't go downstairs." he mumbled while grabbing something from the fridge then walking back to his room. you give nick a look, he gives you one back that obviously meant to go see what matt was talking about.

hesitantly, you leave your bag on the couch and then walk downstairs to chris' room while nick grabs his things. upon being about three steps down, your ears immediately fill up with moans. both chris', and someone else's. another girl. your cheeks get red as your feet think before your mind and now you're in front of his door. with no hesitation, you grab the knob and swing open the door. as soon as you did so, chris looked back quickly. your eyes observed what was going on. you saw the mystery girl completely blissed out with her face dug inside a pillow and completely naked. you saw chris' hands wrapped around her hips firmly and how his front pieces of hair stuck to his sweaty forehead. "what the fuck chris?"

you feel your cheeks burning up in frustration as you watch chris struggle to put his pants back on. "dude! get out!" he said while the blonde girl turned around and saw you at the doorway, quickly blushing out of embarrassment. "no, you get out!" you tell the girl in his bed loudly, her getting up as soon as you said anything towards her. you and chris make heavy eye contact as she got changed and got her things.

she closed the door upon leaving and you immediately start bashing chris. "chris what the fuck is wrong with you? you ignore me for two days and I find you fucking another chick?" you argue as he quickly tries to find something to say. "you can't just hook up with me casually then ignore me then hook up with someone else." your sigh is shakey, trying not to start crying in front of him. "I feel bad for her even because you're probably just gonna ignore her and then hook up with some-" you were finally cut off by chris.

"why are you arguing about this like we are more than friends y/n?" he argues back, taking a breath to continue. "you're saying this shit like we are together, we aren't anything but friends." the brunette boy said while crossing his arms. "friends that hook up almost every week?" you laugh sarcastically, you process what he said for another few seconds. "don't act like I don't know about how your heart was racing when i was layin' down on your chest the last time i came over." you note. "is we hooking up something casual for you or are you looking to spend your life with me?" your voice is unstable and shakey, biting back the tears coming up on your waterline.

"fine, i'll admit, y/n." he finally said, his voice evenly shakey as yours. "I realized that i'm in love with you that night. you know im scared of commitment. i ignored you 'nd hooked up with another girl to try to get over you." chris sighed and his eyes softening. "im scared of being in a relationship, you have seen what my fans say even if im standing next to a girl—" you cut him off by walking towards him and shutting him up with a soft kiss. you can tell he is surprised when he hesitated to place his hands on you. “im in love with you too chris, and i am scared too.” you say softly as you tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.

“but you know we can work it out together.” you sigh while your eyes look up into his. chris’ hands planted on your waist, rubbing small circles on them. “you think so?” he whispered. you nod in reply, pulling him into another kiss. “‘m sorry.” he whispered again, desperately kissing you like his life depended on it. you start to tug on the hem of his black tank top and backed up a little bit so he could notice that your trying to take it off. he pulled it over his head himself and quickly went back for a kiss. he turns you so your back is facing the bed and he guided you to it. you lay back on his bed and he quickly reaches to the waist band of your shorts. “can i take these off?” he asked with his tone laced with need. you nod eagerly, him taking not another second to pull them down. he then went to your shoes, untying both laces and placing them on the floor.

you watched in awe as he touched your body so gently. he cupped your cheek and kissed you softly, his tongue grazing against yours lightly. he backed up with a smile, and looked into your eyes for a few seconds. with one hand, he went down in between your thighs and hooked his fingers on your panties and pushed them to the side, with the other hand pulling down his shorts.

he held onto your hip while he slowly slid himself inside of you, both of you letting a little hiss. his thrusts are slow but firm and his grip on your hip was light. you whimpering softly and let your body relax as his hips moved in and out of you. chris grabbed your leg and hooked it around his torso, being able to plunge deeper inside of you. “fuck, such a good girl f’me.” he panted with a little smile on his face. you whine back in reply, completely blissed in ecstasy and pleasure. his hips rutted a bit faster inside your puffy cunt as it suctioned his cock. “fuck, feels so good.” you sigh while leaning your head back into the pillow. “yeah? m’cock feels good mama?” he groaned quietly, you nod weakly.

you let out a small moan when his tip grazed that sticky patch inside of you. you arch your back off the bed as the knot in your stomach began to tighten. “‘m so close-“ you gasp gently while the brunette boy started to drill deeper inside of you. “mhm, gonna cum for me baby?” he whispered gently as his thumb went down and rubbed your sensitive bundle of nerves, this just sending you over the edge. “fuck! do-dont stop please please” you whine as your mouth fell agape. the knot in your stomach slowly started coming undone from his thrusts. “‘m cumming!” a small squeak left your lips. “shit, im right behind ya’” he whimpered as his hips remained the same pace. your stomach muscles clenched together as you came on his cock, then you felt him fill you up with his lukewarm cum. he fucked both of you through each other’s high before he stopped.

“you okay?” chris hummed while tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. you nod shyly while attempting to sit up. “i should go then, nick is probably waiting for me.” you chuckle a bit, whining quietly as chris pulled out of your pussy. “alright, i’ll still see you today then?” he asked as he helped you clean up and change. you hum in reply, standing up and wobbling a little bit. he put his boxers and shorts back on before turning back to you. “drive safe.” he smiled, pulling you in for a little kiss. “i know, see you later chris.” you smile back. you left his room with him behind you, your shoes in his hands.

upon going up the stairs you saw nick with his headphones on, thankfully. “ready to go?” he asked, his tone annoyed since you took so long. you nod with a laugh as you grab your bag and shoes from chris. “i’ll put them on in the car.” you say while you both start walking downstairs.

“what took you so long by the way?” the brunette boy asked when putting his headphones in his tote bag. “sorry, something happened with chris and i had to help” you lie terribly. nick could tell in your eyes that you were lying. “you fucked him didn’t you?” “nick!”

│⊹ haven's notes part two ⋆ ;; IM FINALLY DONE !!!!1

│⊹ taglist ⋆ ;; @deftonesmatt @mattsluttywaist @luverboychris @sturniol0s @mattscoquette @xoxo4chrisss @sweetstars-posts @bambi-slxt