#don't trust Crowley! His hair bad!

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

DEMON'S GUIDE to ANGELIC BEINGS who WALK the EARTH

HASTUR’S FURFUR’S COPY DO NOT REMOVE

(the end of the entry for the previous angel:) On sighting: TORMENT An easy target, any demon who does not proceed to aggravate said angel in execessive quantities will be PUNISHED with full diabolical force.

******

AZIRAPHALE

Principality. Angel of the Eastern Gate.

Appearance: Fair hair. Suspishus Ears. Plum hands. Replusively soft (underlined by a pencil several times). Can genrully be found wearing various shades of loathsome beige. Occasional spectacles.

Stationed: Land of the Angles, Hemisphere of the West & North.

Residunce: Angelic Embassy X also known as AZ Fell & Co, 105 Whickber Street, London.

Known Earthly Occupations: Guard of Eden, Music Tyooter, White Knight, Garden Deziner, Bishop, Bookseller. (written by a pencil: +TERRIBLE MAGISHUN)

Weaponry: Flaming Sord.

On sighting: AVVOID A wily opponent, this demon smiter must be warily approached. Report any interactions to the demon Crowley. (the word 'Crowley' is circled and underlined several times by a pencil + note: CHANGED HIS NAME? YUCK!)

A NOTE BY A PENCIL SAYING: CROWLEY IS SUSPISHUS! DON'T TRUST HIM! HIS HAIR IS BAD!

******

BARAQIEL

Dominion. Angel of the Sky.

Appearance: Hair an eye-burning jinnjer. Eyebrows with the appearance of a grisly slug. Often draped in red. Occashunly damp, most likely singed.

Fun fact:

[etheries1015]

As requested by @mellowwillowy who asked me to do some dark Yandere content. I'm gonna try my best, but be prepared to probably be incredibly disappointed since I've never written Yandere stuff and it's not my forte. Really went out of my comfort zone for this one LMAO.

Featuring: Yandere!Jade, Yandere! General Lilia, Yandere! crowley

TW: DARK CONTENT. Non-consensual, Stalking and obsessive behavior, Sexual assault, hair pulling, mentions of cannibalism, reader locked up, toxic relationships, toxic behavior, degradation, manipulation, hair pulling, abuse, forced "pregnancy" Although only mentioned as being pregnant not describing gender or sex.

anybody experiencing such things in real life, please reach out for help <3

WARNING: I don't typically write stuff like this on my blog, so I will say this now: Any hateful comments WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED. If you decide to read from here on out, that is ON YOU. I will NOT tolerate any bullying, harassment, or negativity. These are EXTREMELY sensitive and triggering topics and you have been thoroughly warned.

Yandere! General Lilia

♡ Yandere! General Lilia who found you at your most vulnerable. You were on the ground after being left behind by your comrades, frail and barely moving. He looked down at you with pity in his eyes, using the tip of his foot to lift your head to look up at him. While you sneered at him with distaste, a dark idea flooded his mind. Lilia smirked down at your body before stepping on the top of your head, pushing it into the mud.

♡ "Poor, pathetic human...Look how they left you behind..." He removed his foot and bent down to your level, using his hand to grab you by the hair and lift your bloodied face. "Ohh..if we clean up this blood, I'm sure you're not a horrible sight to look at. How about I take you in? As my little human 'pet'?"

♡ You didn't have a choice. Lilia was eager to knock you out and drag you to a misshapen house that was obviously thrown together on a whim, throwing you inside. He cleaned you up while you were passed out, noting all your properties. You were unaware of this, though. He convinced you that you had simply passed out and he had kindly lay you to rest upon the bed. What a liar.

♡ the first week while you were too weak to move, Lilia would keep you in a warm bed and spoon-feed you food. Although he often seemed cold, you would describe him as warm at the time. It was shocking how kind this fae could be, too kind, really.

♡ He practically nursed you back to health and you completely forgot about the fact he had dragged you there in the first place. A fae helping a human seemed out of bounds, but he was just so...different. So you thought.

♡ Although, he thought you were escaping once when you stepped outside of the home for the first time simply for some fresh air. He quickly let down the facade he had held and gave you a reminder of why you shouldn't trust him.

♡ He'd punish you by pulling you by the hair and dragging you back into the house kicking and screaming, placing you in front the mirror nearby. He would force you to look up while he degraded you.

♡ "See this?" He grabbed you by the cheeks roughly, pressing hard, "Who would want a pathetic and ugly human such as yourself? what do you think will happen when you go out? You will be left behind just like they did before." He let go, a smile replacing his anger, "But not me...I told you if you stayed here nothing bad would happen, but you were trying to leave me, weren't you?"

♡ No matter how much you cried and told him that wasn't your intention, Lilia tsked and refused to believe you.

♡ As a continued punishment for your defiance and retorts, General Lilia would roughly tear your clothes off and force you to look in the mirror as he violated you. Your hands were bound with magic and your mouth gagged, Lilia pulling your legs apart roughly and unzipping his pants.

♡ "How does it feel to be filled to the brim by a fae? It must feel better than any human could ever make you feel. If you stay, You get to feel like this all the time...any human would be elated, wouldn't you agree?"

♡ "We would make such beautiful mixed children, wouldn't we?" He groaned as he came into you for the 6th time that night of your punishment pressing his hand against your stomach, "right here. Swollen with bastard children..."

♡ After your attempted "escape", you were chained up and typically naked. He would feed you, cleanse you, and bring you random gifts and food...Truly keeping his word on treating you as if you were his pet. It was debilitating.

♡ If you were good, he would let you sleep in that warm bed that you first got to sleep in upon arriving. He'd even sleep with you...not without his hands wandering around your body and having his way with you a time or two.

♡ He makes a point to frequently shower you with gifts and affection, even bringing you clothing and allowing you to walk around the house.

♡ On other days he reminds you of how useless you are as a human, reminding you how he found you and kindly took you in when you were abandoned

♡ Tells you how much he loves you and going back would never do you any good... you could never leave his side.

not like he'd let you any time soon, anyway.

Yandere! Jade

♡ He starts out by watching you from afar, admiring you. You always felt his stare at times, but you could never quite see him or put your finger on it.

♡ You will find random things inside your locker. They started out innocent enough, cards professing love for you, flowers, random things he would find in the mountains. You thought it was rather cute, even if you couldn't tell who was leaving it behind for you to find.

♡ Then soon it progressed to photos he took of you with notes on the back. The first time you pulled out a photo of yourself anticipating a letter, your smile quickly dropped. Jade, however, was smiling in the corner watching you unravel his plan.

♡ One was a picture of you changing through a window of Ramshackle, behind the letter is said "Every part of you is my favorite, but I'm particularly fond of your bare legs."

♡ This becomes incredibly worrying to you. You still weren't sure who this mystery person was, and of course you went to someone you were close to for advice. That person was Jade, as he predicted enough.

♡ He's your white knight. He acts all worried and panicked on your behalf, stating he would "take care of it." After about a week when the letters and pictures stopped, you thanked him with a hug.

♡ that single hug sent shivers down Jade's spine. Just being in close contact with you in terms of an embrace wasn't enough...he found himself quickly rushing to the bathroom to release himself, pulling out his phone using the same filthy pictures he took of you to pump his cock dry.

♡ His behavior only worsened from there. That single hug gave him this itchy feeling that wouldn't leave him about being close to you- soon noticing other items of yours going missing. Your underwear, specifically.

♡ You thought it was only a little bit weird when he gifted you a set of new underwear, but you talked it up to just being super close with Jade and he was trying to be helpful with your missing hosiery and was sympathetic to your issue.

♡ Upon visiting his dorm room, you took notice of a specific notebook. He had walked out per Azuls request for assistance, and you took this opportunity to snoop around. Inside this notebook, you found a bunch of pictures of you- ranging from the ones you saw in your locker, to other more disturbing photos such as your sleeping form in revealing night clothing and one in which you were preparing for a bath.

♡ The dread truly set in once you read all sorts of insane things Jade had put, but one that stood out to you the most was an entry in which he detailed how if he couldn't have you, he would have to chop you up and put you in his favorite dishes to fully make you one with him.

♡ "I've never felt more connected with someone before. I know we must truly be fated for one another, and I can't bear this burning in my heart to have them nearby. Perhaps in order to fully reach a level of togetherness, the only way to become truly one with one another is if I were to cut them up and consume-"

♡ You wanted to throw up. You had to stop reading, but before you even had the chance to react, the unexpected occurred.

♡ "I see you've found my little secret," A voice from behind you startled you, dropping the notebook and stared up at the tall male with a deadly pale face and dreaded wide eyes. His expression was difficult to read with an uneasy smile spreading cheek to cheek

♡ "What happens from this moment on," He said, grabbing you by the chin and leaning into your face, "Is entirely up to you."

Yandere! Crowley

♡ You had always been seen as Crowleys favorite. It wasn't like he made it particularly difficult to tell, the way the students would spot his crows anywhere you were.

♡ He was constantly monitoring your every move. If you were with someone else, he'd always inquire to you about your conversations and why you were so engaged in talking with someone other than himself.

♡ "Don't you think you're getting too close to my students?" He pouted, "I think this was a bad idea. How about I allow you to stay with me? Oh, how kind I am to invite you open arms into my home!"

♡ It really wouldn't be much different than now. You were always aware that he watched your every move- the crows in your window while you were stripping for bed were an obvious sign that you were never alone or away from his prying eyes.

♡ Crowley is incredibly coy and risky. He doesn't care what anybody else says or thinks when it comes to you, he wanted to make it painfully obvious specifically to the staff that you were his prey and his alone.

♡ This includes having his way with you anytime, anywhere. If you were just bringing papers to him, he'd have you on his desk with your legs spread at a moment's notice without as much as locking the door.

♡ This wasn't uncommon. He was always testing your patience, a hand crawling up your skirt in the middle of a meeting or taking you in a classroom after hours. But he's never done anything this extreme before...

♡ While you're completely bare and naked on his desk for anyone to walk in and see you in all of your glory, Crowley only unzipped his pants to free his cock from his confines. He's quick to push himself inside of you without prepping you first, leaving you to yelp out in pain.

♡ "Hush, now...we wouldn't want anyone else coming in and seeing you in such a state, would we? If you aren't quiet and another teacher comes in..." He tsked, smirking and swallowing your whimpers with his mouth.

♡ It was as if he was purposefully trying to make you fail, as if he had some sort of plan. Pressing his cock into the deepest parts of you practically slamming his hips against yours. It hurt more than felt pleasurable, you felt tears prick your eyes and a loud yelp of pain escape your lips.

♡ It wasn't a surprise when Crewel walked in to see what was going on. Upon this sight, Crowley tsked once more and looked at you with distaste, not even phased at Crewel's appearance. As if he was practically expecting it.

♡ "Look what you've done...I suppose it's time for your punishment now, isn't it?"

♡ You were soon gagged and hands tied in front of you, Crewel now having his way with you as if it were the most natural thing to occur while Crowley watched. Tears were pouring down your eyes, looking over to Crowley unable to tell what he was thinking behind that mask of his.

♡ When your body stopped resisting and you went limp in giving up, Crowley walked over and instructed Crewel to stop. Crowley untied you and ungagged you, holding you in his arms and petting your hair.

♡ "I recall you saying you found Crewel handsome. Was it everything you ever wished for? Are you satisfied with him? or have you learned your lesson?" although he was gently stroking your hair, the frown on his lips was enough to tell you this punishment was for that purpose. Your answer would determine his mood, that much you knew.

♡ You nodded in response, choking out a feeble cry "I'm sorry, I won't say it again. You're the only one that can pleasure me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." As you babbled your apologies, Crowley smiled and kissed the top of your head, and carrassed your body.

♡ "Good...I'm sorry I had to punish you like that, my little crow. I promise to make it up to you. How about a fancy meal tonight? Hmm? I'll take you to the expensive one you like. Kind of me, isn't it?"

♡ It was twisted and messed up, you knew this. You knew it was just a way to ensnare you, another way to keep you bound to him. You've convinced yourself that he had your best interests in mind, for although he would subject you to ridiculous punishments... He would also treat you like you were the most precious cut of an expensive gem.

A vicious cycle, indeed.

♡ You nodded feebly, Crowley smiling and lifting you in his arms. Gone in a puff of smoke, he took you to bathe in warm water and give you that sly smile and gentle facade that always draws you back in.

~~

[lucidlivi]

Never Been You

Requested: @hzllxhoundxx

Everything Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 (if you'd like added to my everything tag list, please indicate by saying "please tag me in everything Jensen/Dean")

Warnings: Angst, Demon Dean, Kidnapping, Violence, Mature Themes, Demon Dean Being an Absolute Dick

Following S10 E2, S10 E3 (of course with my twist!)

I got carried away so this is a hella long one for you guys!

"you need to get to Beulah North Dakota now!" I rushed out to Castiel who was on the other end of the phone call.

"I do?"

"yes, Crowley and Dean were there, we have to pick up their trail."

I looked over to see Sam in the truck hunched over in pain.

"good, great."

I felt the emotions wash over me for what felt like the thousandth time since seeing the footage of Dean, our Dean, sporting black eyes. Castiel has no idea.

"Not exactly, Cas, Dean's a Demon." I said feeling the unshed tears slip from my eyes.

"Dean's a Demon? How?"

"It's the mark Cas, it messed him up, I don't know." I cried.

"that's a vast understatement." Castiel grumbled.

"look Cas, I know you're not feeling so hot right now, but I need you, it’s sort of an all hands on deck situation, so…"

"so I'll be there."

I hopped back in the truck I had rescued Sam in and continued to drive to North Dakota. I played through every scenario in mind of how this could go, and none of them ended well.

I needed to find Dean, I needed to help him.

"I got a lead, disturbance at a night club, a rowdy patron beat a security guard senseless. It sounds like a demon thing to do." Sam said looking at his phone.

"I guess let's check it out then."

It was still daytime when we were pulling up to the strip club.

Of course Dean would end up here.

"think that's the guy?" I asked Sam, looking at a muscular security guard who was wearing a sling identical to Sam's and had two black eyes.

"I would say it's a safe bet."

I stopped the truck hopping out, followed by Sam.

"excuse me sir, is this the guy who attacked you last night?" Sam asked straight forward, showing a picture of Dean.

"that's the guy, I called 911 but he was gone before they showed up."

Damn.

I didn't expect him to still be here, but it felt like a blow to the gut to actually hear it.

"that dude get to you too?" He asked Sam referencing his sling.

"uh no, this uh is just a hunting accident." Sam responded.

"would you do us a favor, if this guy shows back up, please give us a call." I said producing a fake FBI business card with my number on it.

"you bet."

"thanks."

I ran a hand through my hair with a huff before getting back in the truck.

"what now?" I asked, feeling the tears prick at my eyes again.

I couldn't bare the thought of Dean actually being a demon.

"I don't know." Sam said in defeat.

I drove the truck to a nearby motel, renting us a room. Sam had been through hell, he needed to rest. I helped him lay down on the bed, noticing his eyes get instantly heavy.

"I'll be right back, I'm just going to get something out of the truck." I told him, rushing outside.

As soon as I stepped outside, I heard a voice that made my blood boil with anger.

"hello there love."

I turned around to see Crowley with a smirk on his face.

"did ya miss me?"

I huffed in anger, reaching behind me to pull a blade from my belt loop.

"oh so much." I growled.

"easy now, I know you're here for Dean, and I'm here to give him to you."

Is this a trick?

I could never truly trust Crowley.

"I don't understand."

"you see he's bad for business, he's.. he's become uncontrollable, must be the mark.." Crowley trails off with a smirk.

"anywho Dean's your problem now, again, forever." Crowley added.

"then where the hell is he?" I snapped, not being able to contain my anger towards the king of hell.

"ah ah, first there's a small matter of my finders fee."

"nothing ever comes free with you, wouldn't have expected anything less."

****************************************************

I hesitantly walk in to the bar not knowing what to expect. I didn't even tell Sam where I was going. I knew he didn't have the strength to fight, and I didn't want him to get hurt.

"hiya angel." Dean said looking up at me with a smirk.

I felt my breathing get heavy as I looked at him. It was Dean in the flesh, but this thing was so far from Dean. Dean was brave, he was kind, Dean cared.

"I told you to let me go." Dean said picking up his glass of whiskey and sipping it.

"you know I can't do that Dean."

He smirked, taking another sip.

"by the way, your pal Crowley, he sold you out, didn't take him much." I said stepping a bit closer.

"sounds like him."

"Dean, we can cure demons, don't you remember that?" I asked taking another step closer.

Dean picked up the first blade, walking past me in a threatening manner.

"a little latin, lot of blood, yeah it rings a bell. but did you ever stop to think that if I wanted to be cured, I wouldn't have bailed."

"Dean that was Crowley, you don't know what you're doing."

"that's what you think." Dean said pouring himself another glass of whiskey.

"well it doesn't matter Dean, whatever happened, whatever went down, we will fix it." I said cautiously taking another step towards him.

"Oh will we? Meanwhile I'm doing all I can to not come over there and rip your throat out."

"Dean you don't mean that."

"I'm giving you a chance to run sweetheart, better take it." Dean threatened.

"I'll pass." I said quickly.

“I'm not walking out that door with you, I'm just not, so what are you going to do angel, huh? Are you going to kill me?" Dean asked.

I felt a chill run down my spine at the way he called me angel. It was laced with venom.

"I didn't come here to kill you."

"why? you have no idea what I've done, in fact I might have it coming."

"I don't care Dean, you're my best friend, and I'm here to take you home. I'm here to save you."

I wanted to admit so much more to him.

I wanted to tell him that it's because I was in love with him and couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I was worried now that I wouldn't get the chance too.

I heard Dean start to chuckle.

"save me? why would you want to save me? it's never been you, you know." Dean said taking a sip.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Dean got up sauntering his way over to me. I instinctively took a step back, not trusting him. I soon found out though, the more distance I tried to put between us the closer he got. I raised my hand up putting it on his chest to stop him from getting any closer.

Dean smirked at me before twisting my arm and bringing his hand up to my throat. He pinned me to the wall a twisted look in his eyes. I felt a chill run down my spine, he was getting pleasure out of this.

"I see the way you look at me, the way you lust for me, you want me." Dean smirked.

I glared at him, trying to turn my face away, his hold on my throat getting tighter.

"you don't want to kill me because you're in love with me, and you have been for quite some time, haven't you?"

I couldn't speak, Dean's hold on me was too tight. I furrowed my eyebrows as if to convey he wasn't right, even though he was.

"and its never been you for me.. you see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, i've been fucking everything with a heartbeat." Dean growled.

I could feel the tears brim my eyes as his words cut in to me. I knew he was just trying to hurt me, but part of me wondered if that's how Dean actually felt.

He let go of my throat, shoving me to the floor. I instantly stood back up taking out the handcuffs from my back pocket.

"you really think those are going to work sweetheart?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"well there's one way to find out."

As I took a step forward, the window shattered and the entire room started filling with smoke. I looked to my left to see someone had threw a smoke grenade. I felt the air rush from my lungs as I breathed in the smoke. I put my shirt over my mouth and nose, trying to find an exit. I started to cough, as my vision got blurry.

I finally found the emergency exit, pushing it open. I saw the silhouette of a man on the other side as I collapsed from smoke inhalation. He struck me across the face hard, causing me to fall back to the ground, hitting my head in the process.

I was seeing stars as I sat clutching my bleeding head. Dean came out glaring the man down. I heard them exchange some words, but couldn't make out exactly what they were saying.

I noticed myself start to slip in and out of consciousness.

I saw them start to fight, Dean clearly having the upper hand.

I felt like my head was on fire, as I glanced up seeing Dean holding the first blade to the guys neck. He was going to kill him. I was surprised when he dropped him, tucking the blade back in to his pocket. I tried to muster up any strength I could to get up, but my body was betraying me. Dean walked over to me, a sick grin etched on to his face as he swayed his hips.

"Dean please." I choked out.

"time to sleep now baby."

Dean raised his hand striking me, and that's the last thing I remember before my world went dark.

****************************************************

I was in agonizing pain as I fluttered my eyelashes open. I panicked as I couldn't move my body. I looked down to see my arms and legs were bound to a wooden chair. I gathered from my surroundings that I was in some kind of warehouse, but I didn't recognize where.

"oh good, you're awake."

Dean came over crouching in front of me so we were eye level.

"let me go." I growled.

"can't do that angel." He said caressing my cheek.

I quickly moved my head away, causing his hand to fall.

"you don't want to provoke me." Dean growled.

"or what? you're going to kill me?"

Dean gave a sickly sweet smile. He leaned in close whispering in my ear.

"or you're going to wish you were dead."

"I'm not scared of you Dean." I snapped.

Dean lets out a chuckle, standing to his feet.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you so much, feisty little thing."

"why don't you let me out of these ropes and I'll show you just how feisty I can be."

Dean chuckled again, grabbing a bottle of whiskey taking a sip.

"I don't even know why I'm talking to you, this isn't even the real you." I scoffed.

"oh it's the real me alright, the new real me, the me who sees things for what they actually are."

I scoffed again rolling my eyes at his words.

"hunters, do-gooders, fighting the natural order, well let me tell you something sweetheart people like me, we are the natural order."

"yeah well people like me still gotta do what we can." I growled.

Dean smirked as he crouched back down to my eye level.

"oh don't be so full of yourself baby, cause you see from where I'm sitting, there ain't much difference from what I turned in to, to what you already are." Dean smirked.

"and what is that supposed to mean?" I growled.

Dean took one hand resting on my cheek, the other on the back of my neck so I couldn't move away from him again.

"I know what you did when you went looking for me, how far you went." Dean whispered, dangerously close to my face.

I felt the guilt sink back in.

I just kept telling myself I did what I had to in order to find Dean. I felt my breathing quicken as Dean came in closer, practically brushing his lips against mine.

"so let me ask you baby, which one of us is really the monster?"

I felt the tears brimming my lashes as Dean stared at me. Dean smirked as he stood back up.

"Now you and Sammy were trying to get a twenty on Crowley and me from any demon you could snag, but Crowley didn't want to be found, and no one showed when you summoned. But you my angel, you found your own way didn't you?"

I was ridden with guilt as I remembered how I tricked Lester in to summoning a demon to make a deal.

"You would've liked to have gotten there before the deal went down but you didn't really care about poor ol' Lester did you? Oh and just so you know, I uh killed Lester myself." Dean smirked as if it were funny.

"I never meant.." I started to choke out but Dean cut me off.

"who cares what you meant, that line that we thought was so clear between us and the things we hunted, ain't so clear is it?" Dean yelled.

I bit my lip to stop the tears from falling.

"wow, you know, you might actually be worse then me. I mean you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul, nice work baby." Dean said crouching back down.

I spit in his face, the anger I was feeling towards him boiling over. Dean angrily wiped his face off with the hem of his shirt.

"there's no point in trying to bring your best friend back now." Dean growled.

"oh I’ll bring him back, if it's the last thing I do." I growled.

"In fact, your uh guilt ridden, weight-of-the-world best friend, has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. I have to say though, I'm loving the new model, lean, mean, Dean."

I rolled my eyes turning my head away from him.

"I can't believe you're still trying! I mean, I couldn't wait to get away from you. I chose the king of hell over you! I guess I was just tired of having to coddle you, always having to yank your ass out of the fire. Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?" Dean said.

I could feel the tears run down my cheeks as he spoke.

"this isn't my best friend talking, he would never say those things." I spoke, more for my benefit than for his.

"you never had a best friend, just an excuse for wimping out, and guess what angel, I quit."

"no, you don't get to quit, we don't quit, okay you and me Dean we're bonded whether you like it or not, and this bond is all that we've got." I cried.

"well then we've got nothing." Dean smirked.

I looked down at the floor, praying that Sam had noticed I was gone. I was praying to Castiel to come find me. I knew if it came down to it, I couldn't kill Dean, even if it meant he'd kill me. I was praying for another solution.

I heard the door open and the sound of heeled footsteps against the floor.

"you brought us a play thing?"

I looked up to see a female, she wore black eyes similar to Deans.

"not us, mine." Dean growled at the girl who took a step closer to me.

"but I want to play too." she smirked coming over to me, brushing a piece of hair off my bare shoulder.

I shivered at her touch, trying to move away with what limited space I had.

"I said no." Dean growled.

I glanced up meeting Dean's eyes and for a second, just a second, I could see he wasn't totally gone.

"have you gone soft on us Winchester?"

"ha, not even, but you see that one's kind of a special project of mine, and I want to kill her myself." Dean smirked staring at me.

"okay, then I won't kill her."

As she said this, she shoved the chair back, causing me to hit my head on the concrete below. I grunted as the air was knocked out of my lungs.

"I'll just hurt her." she laughed.

"Dean please." I pleaded, struggling to breathe.

"Dean's gone." the woman whispered, running a hand through my hair.

"Dean I know you're in there. I'm begging you. I always rely on you because I know I can. Dean you're the most selfless person I know. I know that somewhere inside you still care. I know you don't want to hurt me Dean." I cried.

As I was putting on my show, I managed to wiggle one of my arms free. I reached around to grab my blade that was hidden in my belt loop, but I didn't feel anything.

"are you looking for this?" she smirked, inspecting the demon blade.

"go back to hell where you belong." I snapped.

"nice show, even almost had me fooled for a second." I heard her laugh.

She held the blade to my cheek. I could feel my breathing quicken as she ran the blade down my cheek towards my neck. She pressed in just enough to draw a small trickle of blood. I looked past her to try to reason with Dean again but I didn't see him.

I suddenly felt blood splatter on my face. It was coming from the woman's mouth as Dean plunged the first blade deeper in to her spine. I watched the life leave her eyes in an instant. Dean grunted as he ripped the blade out, her now lifeless body slumping over my own. He threw her body off of me, picking the chair back up.

He started to pace around the room as if he wasn’t sure what just happened.

"look what you made me do!" Dean yelled.

"Dean, let me go, and then I can help you." I whimpered weakly.

Dean glared at me, his eyes going black before flashing back to his normal green ones. Dean growled, opening the door to the room before slamming it shut leaving me alone.

I had to get out of here. I noticed my blade still on the ground, just a few feet from where I sat. If I can get to it, I can cut myself free.

I leaned over as far as I could, causing the chair to tip over sideways. I once again smacked my head on the concrete as I fell. I groaned at the impact but shook it off, using my free arm to pull myself closer to the knife. I reached out my arm, my fingers just barely grazing the handle.

"come on!" I exclaimed, trying to grip it again.

I finally managed to wrap my fingers around the handle of the blade. I breathed a momentary sigh of relief, cutting my other arm free from the ropes than cutting my ankles free. I stood up weakly looking for an exit. I took my sleeve, wiping the blood off my face.

I wasn't sure how much of it was hers, and how much of it was my own.

I finally saw a red exit sign. I mustered up all my strength sprinting over to it. I put my hand on the door, but suddenly stopped.

I couldn't leave him.

I wouldn't.

I was debating with myself when I heard a loud growl. Dean must've come back and noticed I was gone.

"you're coming home whether you like it or not." I whispered, running through the warehouse.

I could hear Dean walking after me, opening doors as he went. It was eery how calm he walked.

"come on baby, don't you want to hang out with me, spend a little quality time." Dean yelled.

I quieted my breathing as I found the keys to the electrical room. I moved quietly against the walls towards the room.

I heard Dean kick down some doors, growling every time I wasn't behind one of them. I managed to get to the electrical room. I fumbled with the keys trying to unlock the door.

"fuck" I muttered in frustration.

I finally got in, and immediately pulled every switch I could, killing the power.

"that's smart angel, but now I know where to find you." Dean growled as he rushed towards where I was.

I hid against the wall waiting for him. I heard him enter quietly, looking around for me.

"come on out angel, you're just making things worse for yourself." Dean growled.

I rushed over to the door, just as Dean threw the switches back, restarting the power.

"now this is me yanking your ass out of the fire." I spit slamming the door and locking him inside.

I heard Dean chuckle.

"this is your big plan, locking me in?"

"Dean, just please come with me and we can cure you." I said holding out my demon blade.

It was completely silent.

"Dean?"

I jumped in fright as Dean banged on the door, slowly splitting the wood.

"you act like I wanna be cured, personally I like the disease." Dean growled, using a hammer he found to break the door down.

"Dean stop! I don't want to use this blade on you!" I yelled holding it out further in front of my body.

"that sucks for you doesn't it angel, cause you really mean that." Dean smirked, hitting the door with the hammer again.

"Dean if you come out of that room, I won't have a choice." I whimpered, choking back tears.

"oh sure you will, and I know which one you'll make, isn't that right baby?" Dean growled smacking the door harder.

I knew the door wouldn't hold him much longer.

"I'm lucky though, cause there's just enough demon left in me that killing you, ain't gonna be a choice at all." Dean growled continuing to break the door down.

I felt the tears streaming down my face at this point. I could see the door giving way. I turned around sprinting away before it broke completely. I heard one last loud bang before the door gave way. Dean's heavy footsteps were once again behind me.

"come on angel, lets kiss and make up. I'm tired of playing let's finish this game." Dean growled.

I leaned against the wall taking a deep breath. I didn't have the strength to continue. I knew I was no match for him.

I glanced down the corridor where I thought Dean was coming from. I didn't see him though.

I turned around just in time to see a hammer flying towards my head. I ducked quickly, pushing my demon blade against Dean's throat. I could hear Dean chuckle as he looked at me, raising his hands in mock surrender.

"well, well look at you baby, go on do it." Dean growled leaning in to the knife.

I felt the tears cloud my vision as I slowly dropped the knife.

I couldn't kill him.

I watched as Dean's eyes went black. He gripped my throat throwing me against the wall before slamming me on the ground. I watched him take out the first blade, bringing it above his head.

"Dean I love you."

I closed my eyes, waiting for death to come.

But it didn't.

I opened my eyes to see Dean growling, as if he was fighting an inner battle with himself, a battle for his soul. I caught sight of Castiel sneaking up behind Dean, wrapping him in his arms. Dean growled, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Dean it's over." Cas said his eyes flashing their beautiful blue.

Dean collapsed in CastieI's arms, before I slapped the demon cuffs on him. I felt myself relax as I saw Sam rushing to my side.

****************************************************

"I'll meet you guys soon, just one thing left to do." I said holding the first blade in my hand.

"Be careful." Sam said placing a kiss on my forehead.

I gave him a nod, watching him get in the impala with Castiel and a still unconscious Dean. I sighed as they pulled away from me.

"you can stop hiding now." I called.

I saw Crowley emerge from the shadows, a smirk on his face as he eyed the blade.

"pleasure doing business with you." He spoke reaching his hand out.

I quickly pulled it out of his reach.

"what are you going to do with it?" I inquired.

"oh toss it in a volcano, leave it on the moon, i'll get creative." He laughed.

I hesitantly eyed him.

"believe me love, I don't want Dean getting his hands on the precious any more than you do. he knows I've ratted and he tends to hold a grudge....I don't want to get how you say boned."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"besides a deals a deal."

I huffed before handing the blade over to him.

"I hope you know this doesn't make us square, quite the opposite actually, I swear Crowley if I see you again.." I started but he cut me off.

"oh stop it love, no one likes a tease."

I glared at him one last time before hopping in the truck, starting the drive back to Kansas.

I felt like my head was going to explode from everything that had happened in such a short time. Dean's words replayed in my head on a continuous loop.

It wasn't him, I know that. It didn't make anything he said any less hurtful though.

It's never been you.

You see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, I've been fucking everything with a heartbeat.

Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?

I felt the tears cloud my vision, making the road harder to see. I pulled over to the side of the road and cried. I let out every emotion I'd been holding in.

I cried for Dean, I cried for what he went through. I cried for me. I cried for the strain that this was going to put on our relationship. I just cried.

I didn't know how long I'd been crying but I finally collected myself enough to start driving again. I knew that Sam and Castiel could handle Dean. I'm sure they were already back in Kansas, starting the purified blood cure on Dean.

I didn't even know if I was ready to face him again. I spilled my darkest secret to Dean, fearing that I would be dead and never having the chance to tell him.

Dean didn't kill me though.

He could have very easily, I didn't put up much of a fight.

But he didn't.

I was praying that maybe some part of him felt something for me too.

I managed to make the rest of the drive to Kansas. I pulled up to the bunker, hearing Dean growl as the demon was expelled from his body. I hesitantly walked over seeing him slumped over in a chair, much like I was hours ago. Sam injected another syringe of purified blood in to his arm.

"what the hell are we doing to him guys? I mean even after everything he said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human." I spoke, feeling the tears that I was sure I had cried all out, start to rim my eyes once again.

"well, I can see his point, you know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain." Castiel said staring directly at me while talking about pain.

"I guess this is easier." Sam added.

I was about to respond when Dean groaned, trying to move. He raised his head, showing us his black eyes, before they returned to their shade of green.

Dean groaned hoarsely before exhaling a big breath. He looked at the three of us confused, as if everything was coming back to him.

"you look worried guys." Dean spoke up.

I could feel Dean's eyes stay on me. He stared at me intently. I just hoped I didn't look as broken as I felt.

Castiel, Sam, and I gave each other a look, all wondering the same thing. Was Dean back?

Sam uncapped the holy water throwing it on to Dean's face. I sighed with relief when he didn't have a reaction to it. Sam smiled at us. I was still a little apprehensive as was Castiel.

"Dean, we've missed you." Sam said.

Castiel and Sam unchained Dean, helping him to his feet. I felt like every word I wanted to say was stuck in my throat. Dean stared at me as the boys led him to his room. He was weak, the blood cure taking a lot out of him.

How was I even supposed to talk to him about this?

Castiel and Sam returned quickly after getting Dean settled.

"how's he doing?" I asked the boys.

"he's still a little out of it, but better. I mean I think the blood cure, all of it, it really wrecked him you know." Sam said giving me an apologetic look.

It was silent for a moment.

"on the plus side, he's hungry again so I'm going to go pick us up some food, you guys mind keeping an eye?" Sam added grabbing the keys to the impala.

I nodded my head as he walked out. Castiel was unnaturally quiet.

"what is it Cas?"

"one problem is solved, but one still remains. Dean is no longer a demon, that's true, but the mark of cain, that he still has, and sooner or later that's going to become an issue.”

I knew he was right, Castiel always was.

"one battle at a time Cas." I half smiled.

Castiel looked at me with a sad face. It was no use hiding my emotions from him because the angel always figured it out. Castiel stepped up, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I felt a tear cascade down my cheek as I sunk in his embrace.

"I'm uh, going to get cleaned up." I whispered.

I felt every muscle in my body aching as I walked to the bathroom. I cringed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked like hell.

I sported a hand shaped bruise around my throat, along with a cut from my knife. I had a gash on my head, and my face was still crimson colored from the blood. I could see various other bruises forming all over. I licked over my lip that was busted from being thrown against the wall by Dean.

I definitely looked as broken as I felt.

I sighed as I stepped in to the steady stream of water, the sound of the water slapping against my skin drowned out my sobs. I scrubbed my skin until it felt raw.

I got out wrapping the towel tightly around my body. I tiptoed past Deans room. I couldn't help my curiosity as I heard Dean and Castiel talking.

"thank you, for stepping in when you did... has uh she talked to you? what does she say, does she want anything to do with me?" Dean asked.

I could hear the hurt in his voice. It made me hurt more.

"I'm sure she knows whatever you said, whatever you did, that wasn't really you, I mean it certainly wasn't all of you." Castiel reassured.

"Cas, I tried to kill her. Did you see her? I did that! I can't take back the things I said Cas." Dean said.

"Dean I feel I can be honest with you. You two have been through so much together, you're bonded. It'll take a lot more than you trying to kill her with a hammer to get her to walk away." Castiel said.

"you realize how screwed up our lives are that, that even makes sense?" Dean says causing Cas to chuckle.

"I think you should talk to her, and then maybe you should uh take some time, allow both of you to heal."

I heard Castiel exit Dean's room, closing the door. He gave me a wordless look as he passed, signifying that his words were just as much meant for me as they were for Dean.

Castiel the wise.

Of course I couldn't walk away from Dean.

I sighed as I walked to my room, quickly throwing on some clothes. As soon as I lay in my soft bed, I realize how burnt out I was. I heard a soft knock on my door.

"yeah?" I called out hesitantly.

"it's me, the real me."

I felt the air get caught in my throat.

"come in."

Dean opened the door slowly. I could see the hurt flashing in his eyes at he looked at me. I sat up not meeting his eyes. Dean walked over, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"(y/n), I.."

"you don't have to apologize Dean, I know that wasn't you." I spoke.

"it doesn't make it any less shitty though." He said through gritted teeth.

"or hurt any less." I admitted.

Dean ran a hand through his hair in frustration. I could see that this was really hurting him.

"but you could've killed me, and you didn't, you saved me, you stopped yourself." I said finally meeting his eyes.

"I couldn't kill you. I feel for you too much, even as a demon." Dean whispered, hesitantly looking at me.

I felt my heart swell up at his words.

"what I said, it wasn't true." Dean said, sliding just a bit closer to my body.

"it's okay if part of it was, it's never been me and that's okay." I said feeling my heartache.

Dean looked at me as if I had three heads.

"never been you? It's always been you."

I felt the tears run down my cheeks as Dean put a hand up, caressing one of them.

"Dean I don't know how we move on from this." I cried.

"I don't know either, but we're going to do it, together, just like always."

I smiled at Dean for the first time.

"there's my Dean." I whispered.

Dean leaned in slowly, leaning his forehead against mine.

"did you mean what you said?" Dean asked hesitantly.

I gave him a confused look.

"that you love me, did you mean it?"

I swallowed nervously as I stared at him. I slowly nodded my head adverting my eyes from his gaze. Dean grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.

I gasped as Dean crashed his lips on to mine. I was shocked so naturally I was still. Once my brain processed what was happening I pressed my lips against his, kissing him as if my life depended on it. He pulled away slowly, keeping his forehead pressed to mine.

“I love you too, I always have.” Dean spoke.

I felt the tears well in my eyes again, but these tears were different. These weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of pure love.

Dean smiled as he reconnected our lips together in a heated kiss. It was lustful, neither one of use being able to contain the passion we had felt for each other for far too long.

Dean slid his hands under my shirt, gripping on to my hips as he deepened the kiss. I was so caught up in the moment I ignored my muscles screaming at me to stop. Dean brought my shirt over my head, breaking the kiss just long enough to do so. I felt insecure as my bare chest was now exposed for him. I panted as he brought his lips down to my neck gently kissing over the bruise.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Dean said in between kisses.

I grabbed the hem of his shirt taking it off. I saw the mark of cain glistening on his forearm. I brought his arm to my lips, slowly kissing over the mark. Dean pushed me back on the bed so he was hovering over me. I gasped as his hands slid there way down my body to my shorts.

It was slow and passionate. I felt like my skin was on fire every time his fingertips met my skin. Dean dragged my shorts down my legs, his fingers brushing against my sensitive heat.

I wasted no time putting my hands in his pants yanking them down over his butt and down his legs. I was surprised to feel that he was already fully erect.

“do you want this?” Dean asked kissing my lips.

“more than i’ve ever wanted anything.”

Dean, with my consent slowly slid himself in to me. I groaned as my body adjusted to his large girth. He started to move at a slow pace, savoring the feeling of finally being together so intimately.

“It’s always been you.” Dean said as he thrusted deeply.

I don’t think either of us had the energy for the sex we really wanted to have but this sex was sweet, and full of love. I moaned as Dean picked up the pace, but still savoring the feeling of every thrust inside of me. I brought my hips up matching his thrusts. I was a moaning mess as we thrusted against each other, our lips crashing with each thrust.

“Dean” I moaned signifying that I was close.

Dean thrusted some more, softly but at a steady rhythm. I moaned one last time as I felt myself spilling over the edge. I was gripping him so hard, it cause him to release his arousal too. Dean’s body gave out as he collapsed beside me.

“hey guys I got the… oh god really Dean?” Sam said dropping the bag of food and covering his eyes.

I laughed at him, joined by Dean.

“not even back twenty four hours and this is how you’re spending your time.” Sam groaned in embarrassment.

“blame Cas, he’s the one that told us we should talk.” Dean laughed.

Sam backed out of my room, shutting the door behind him. I gazed at Dean but found out he was already staring at me.

“I didn’t save you, you saved me.” Dean whispered tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I’ll always save you Dean.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

Author Note:

I really hope you guys like it! If you feel so inclined please leave a heart, comment, reblog or a follow! I appreciate it!

[dreamofjoys]

𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔

— scenario: how twst characters show you how much they love you

— characters involved: riddle roseheart, leona kingscholar, malleus draconia x gn reader

— cw: fluff! reader is implied to be shorter than the character in leona and malleus's part

— a/n: happy international women's day! just wanted to write some fluffy troupes for you guys (after a really painfully long mia and my laziness)

were you late for the unbirthday party that riddle invited you to? don't worry, this cute boy won't scold you about punctuality

instead, he would ask for the reason that made you late

did crowley give you too much work again? did the trouble makers in his dorm drag you into some mess again? let this red haired dorm leader settle the burdens for you

riddle can be quite naggy sometimes, especially towards the dorm members when he spots them not following any queen of heart's rules

however in your case, he is naggy towards your own well being. did you take your lunch today? are you sleeping enough? did anyone bully you in school?

would occasionally invite you over to his dorm just to try out new pastries that trey made (the both of you are taste testers for trey's pastries and no trey totally did not try experimenting new stuff just to give you guys extra lovey dovey time)

i believe he never really read any romance books before, but starts picking them up once the both of you started dating, so that he could get a gist of what a boyfriend should do and how dating should be like

a little awkward sometimes but he tries his very best to make you happy

overall he's just a small little chipmunk that looks out for you in every way and tries to improve himself for you and a little clingy

he's like the.... most unbothered person in the whole campus

doesn't care what's going on as long as it doesn't bother him

has zero tolerance for pests

...... you do know that he doesn't see you as a pest, right?

his ears perched up whenever he hears someone mentioning about him

definitely had his sleeves rolled up tight in case he needs to fight whoever that was bad mouthing you

leona hates loud people, but he doesn't mind you talking his ear off and telling him about your day

he may look disinterested, but trust me, he remembers everything that you say. why? because he cares

you often find yourself surprised when he remembers something that you told him the last time while he was "asleep"

another thing that he does to show his love towards you is that he shares his food to you

he's a big sucker for meat, and a big man like him definitely eats a lot. he doesn't like to share his stuff too, so be glad that this grumpy lion is sharing you his portion of food

frequent head rubs!! he likes to rub his cheek on your head while holding you tight against his body, the warmth of your body lulling him to sleep in an instant

btw lions show affections by doing head rubs :D

congratulations, you are now the most spoilt person in twisted wonderland

for every second you breathe, gold coins starts pilling up in your room

for every second you blink, treasures starts littering itself everywhere in your dorm

for every second your heart beats, you find a clingy dragon fae snuggling into your chest, a tight grip on your waist as he holds you close to him

malleus is a big man, and everyone would assume that he would love being the big spoon

the truth is, malleus enjoys being pampered by his lover

no, he doesn't need money, treasures, or some weird magical artifacts

he just needs his lover to pay attention to him, THATS ALL

in return, he would do anything for you, anything

do you wanna play in the snow in the middle of june? night raven college should be making preparations for early winter

are you eyeing on that tiara that vil happens to wear on his set for a movie? well, it's yours to wear now

are you having some intensive late night cravings? sounds like a good timing to go on a date right? let him just teleport the both of you to the other side of the world, where the sun is still high while the both of you can enjoy a hearty meal and explore the place

he's the type of lover that would burn the whole world just for you

nothing can ever exceed or surpass the amount of love he have for you

[tonydaddingham]

WAIT A SECOND-

DEMONS GUIDE TO ANGELIC BEINGS WHO WALK THE EARTH

[____] Angelic Embassy X also known as AZ Fell & Co., 105 (?) Whicker Street, London.

Known Earthly Occupations: Guard of Eden, Music [Tyooter?], White Knight, Garden Designer, Bishop, Bookseller.

TERRIBLE MAGICIAN

Weaponry: Flaming Sword

On Sighting: AVOID

A wily opponent, this demon [smiter?] must be warily approached. Report any [interactions?] to the demon Crowley.

CHANGED HIS NAME? YUCK!

CRAWLEY IS SUSPICIOUS! DON'T [TRUST HIM!] HIS HAIR IS BAD.

now when i think about it logically, im like 90% sure im just reading into this, and it might have been crowley's influence on hell to send any reports about aziraphale through him so he can basically squash them and protect aziraphale... but what if he was assigned to spy on aziraphale? idk where im going with this but for some reason it made my stomach sink and i usually trust when my stomach sinks

[bird-slayer-brainrot]

How they became the ineffable "husbands" - Good Omens CrowleyxAziraphale Ineffable Husbands post-season 3 fluff - accidental proposal

They were baking.

Aziraphale had somehow gotten it in his head that Crowley using miracles to bring him pastries was unethical. In fact, he'd started to think that miracling any object, food or otherwise, that they themselves had not paid for seemed to be unethical, if it came from someone else's hand unpaid. Nevermind that money was no object to them, just so long as someone was paid.

(Crowley did not mention that the pastries he brough Aziraphale were not, in fact, stolen, because he did not want to spoil the angel's fun.)

Despite being half-covered in flour, and looking like he was doing a bad dandelion impression, Aziraphale looked very pleased with how the batter for his chocolate-earl grey cake had turned out.

"Just try a bite, please?" Aziraphale pleaded. Crowley, who had no particular affinity for food, took the spoon from the angel's hand and tasted it. It was good, of course it was. Aziraphale was already a masterful baker. This was just showing off.

"It's good." Crowley said. Aziraphale smiled radiantly.

Just then, a knock sounded from the door to the bookshop. Aziraphale frowned at Crowley, who returned the expression. A customer was already unforgivable, but a customer interrupting Aziraphale's kitchen time was a cardinal sin.

He untied his apron wordlessly. Either of them could have miracled the visitor away, but for some reason, they silently decided not to.

Aziraphale quickly tucked the cake into the over and nodded to Crowley to watch over it. He left the kitchen to check the door.

While he was gone, Crowley took the time to survey Aziraphale's ring. Aziraphale was in the habit of handing him the small pinkie ring he wore. *"I don't want to get it covered in batter."). Crowley swept his thumb across the golden wings.

Crowley liked it. He would never admit to this. It reminded him of Aziraphale. The angel had worn it almost as long as Crowley had known him, and this was not the first time he had entrusted it to Crowley to take care of. Crowley liked that he was trusted to care for it.

There were muffled noises of conversation. Aziraphale had, for some reason, let the visitor in the shop. Crowley performed a quick miracle to make sure that the cake was okay and went to check. When he entered the bookstore, his gaze was immediately drawn to a huge bunch of red roses.

Aziraphale turned around as Crowley entered, looking completely frazzled. Crowley gave him a look as a head popped out to the side of the roses. A short, mustached man with flat brown hair looked rather startled by the sudden appearence of the demon.

"Crowley," Aziraphale cleared his throat awkwardly. "This is Mr O'Connell. Mr O'Connell, Crowley."

"Book club man." Crowley exclaimed in understanding. Aziraphale often recounted the antics of his new bookclub. This human didn't particularly stand out, except he had recommended a truly "heinous choice" a month ago, and Aziraphale had grumbled and suffered through all seven hundred pages of "the best novel ever" - which Aziraphale disagreed with vehemently.

There was a noise from behind the garden, and then the flowers were placed on a table to the side. A short, bearded man was revealed. He looked painfully embarrassed. He was looking at Aziraphale. Then, he silently returned his gaze back to Crowley, and his eyes noticeably widened.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were..." his eyes darted furtively between Crowley and Aziraphale, an understanding neither the angel or the demon knew what to do with washing over him suddenly. He had somehow turned a deeper shade of red. Crowley looked over to Aziraphale, who looked equally puzzled.

"I'll just be going. I am so sorry." he apologised again. Aziraphale turned his head back to the man, who, after a moment of stunned pause, hauled the heavy bundle of roses into his arms and, as quickly as someone could hold that many roses.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt you and your husband's Sunday." he called as he fit himself through he door Crowley, who pitied the man, had miracled to help him through the struggle, The door shut behind him and he was gone, rushing down the street away from the bookshop.

Crowley looked over to Aziraphale who was already looking at him.

They burst out laughing.

They were sitting beside each other on the couch in Aziraphale's office, drinking wine with the cake Aziraphale had baked. Crowley had his arm slung lazing across the back of the couch, and Aziraphale had leaned in close to him. They weren't quite touching, but it was still nice.

Aziraphale was again recounting his awkward conversation with his potential suitor before Crowley had arrived.

"Poor gentlemen." Aziraphale said with pity, smiling. "Those must have been expensive roses."

Crowley smiled into his wine glass. He was still wearing the ring, as Aziraphale had not yet asked for it back.

"Is that what it takes, angel?" Crowley teased. "two dozen roses?"

"At least three." Aziraphale joked in a serious tone. Crowley nodded, and responded by promising to remember that.

Aziraphale traced his thumb across the wings as Crowley had done earlier.

"It looks nice on you." Aziraphale admitted in a soft voice. His hands were cupping Crowley's. They were soft. Crowley loved holding hands with Aziraphale, more than he would ever admit to the angel.

"Maybe I'll get a similar one." Crowley tried to joke, but the words got stuck in his throat as Aziraphale looked up at him.

One more radiant smile, Crowley realised, would be the death of him. Aziraphale let out a small laugh, and said something about that being his job.

[cosmoglaut]

DEMON'S GUIDE to

ANGELIC BEINGS

who WALK the EARTH

HASTUR'S FURFUR'S COPY

--- NOT REMOVE

(It was Hastur's!! Aww whatever happened to the toadhead? Would he be back to challenge Shax for the post of Grand Duke of Hell?)

Inside page describing Aziraphale:

(This font is Furfur's additions)

⚠ Mind you

******

On sighting: TORMENT.

An easy target, any demon who does not proceed to aggravate said angel in execessive quantities will be punished with full diabolical force.

AZIRAPHALE:

Principality. Angel of the Eastern Gate.

Stationed: Land of the Angles, Hemisphere of the West & North.

Appearance: Fair hair. Suspishus Ears. Plum hands.

Replusively soft. Can generully be found wearing various shades of loathsome beige. Occasional spectacles.

Residunce: Angelic Embassy X also known as AZ Fell & Co, 105 Whickber Street, London.

Known Earthly Occupations: Guard of Eden, Music Ty---- (couldn't read), White Knight, Garden Deziner, Bishop, Bookseller.

+TERRIBLE MAGISHUN

Weaponry: Flaming Sord.

CHANGED HIS NAME? YUCK!

On sighting: AVVOID

A wily opponent, this demon smiter must be warily approached. Report any interactions to the demon Crowley (circled to say)

******

BARAQIEL

Dominion. Angel of the Sky

Appearances: Hair an eye-burning jinnjer. Eyebrows with the appearance of grisly slug. Often draped in red. Occashunly damp, most likely singed.

(At the book seam are added notes:)

CRAWLEY IS SUSPISHUS! DON'T TRUST HIM! HIS HAIR IS BAD!

**********************************

⚠⚠⚠ The prop designer has asked not to put the hi-rez photo of the book up on social media. I had written down the transcript before reading about it. I won't be posting the photo, but hopefully the text is ok. Because it's just so deliciously funny 🥺

Now my ravings:

Omg AZIRAPHALE's description!! Suspishus ears?!?! Repulsively soft?! 🤣 I almost thought this might be written by Crowley because of 'various shades of loathsome beige'. Which is actually what prompted me to dig into whether the copy belonged to anyone else at all. But no, it was the toadhead's!

At first I wanted the angel described before AZIRAPHALE to be Muriel given their description as easy target and TORMENT suggestion. But Next angel is BARAQIEL, which makes me wonder if the list is alphabetical. AZIRAPHALE coming at the end of the list of A-angels would definitely make sense. Which in itself is suspishus because that's a bit too organized for Hastur. The front page simply says it's his copy, not that it was written by him. And yet, Aziraphale's description (with all the demonic spellings) suggests it was written by some demon who did frequent the earth throughout the ages. (And knew the angel was Crowley's 😁)

And the entire description of BARAQIEL is just so tempting 😂 Occashuly damp?! Mostly Singed?! WHY?! Tell us more!!

Finally, Furfur didn't know Crowley changed his name from Crawley until he got the book. It's also his addition in the Occupations section after watching Aziraphale's sad magical act. (The act might've been sad, Aziraphale most certainly wasn't <3)

Uh ok, finally finally, as far as I could find through multiple rewatches of the scene in the green room, Furfur had put this copy down on the dressing table, and did not pick it up back before vanishing. I hope just as the angel and demon got to keep their photo (through Aziraphale's timely, and luckily working, prestidigitation), they got to keep the copy of the book as well. And I hope Crowley teased the angel about having suspishus ears and being repulsively soft 😂💗

[mortandricky4]

"Crowley is suspicious! Don't trust him! His hair is bad!"

Of all the demons, Furfur has the most right to criticize Crowley's hairstyle. I mean, look at his!

✨Stunning✨

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #3 v2

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 1, The Arrival, phone call with Aziraphale in the Bentley

Sideburns Check

The sideburns are shorter than the last time we saw him while attending to his mail in the street. We are only given a front view of them so not much to go on compared to the previous two scenes.

To my own best estimates, they are longer than they were in the park and when he later arrives at the coffee shop. I made a composite image for us to compare. All of these are brightened:

As my theory goes, the sideburns shorten with time while driving. I consider the "two minutes" in the dialogue as a clue.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

The brighter red streak is not visibly over Crowley's left eye in the car. When Crowley later exits the car for entering the coffee shop, the streak can be found, having moved back to an area above his left eye.

In the meantime, there is a streak of hair on Crowley's right side of his head, by his forehead, that is brighter and more saturated up until the cut where he turns off the phone. So, the brighter red streak either moved—and will move again when the drive is done, or an alternative is presented in its place. When Crowley actually does turn off the phone, there is too much saturation within most of his hair overall for me to really feel like the streak is there anymore. So, maybe it actually is starting to move. His sideburns might have even shortened a little more already, but I can't tell due to the angle.

...

Hairstyle Changes

For a differing hairstyle, instead of both sides pushing inward and up with extra separated curls, most of the top hair appears together and is swooping upward, then down to his right, like a curve.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects)

Crowley is touching a steering wheel. Aziraphale is touching a phone. The dialogue itself includes a Hello, two questions, one number, and the name of the coffee shop.

Gabriel's around and touching a cup, presumably being seen by Aziraphale, but Gabriel has no actual dialogue himself. The fly is around too.

...

Story Commentary

This scene is the first time we see Crowley and Aziraphale interact in the present day. It's through a phone call instead of meeting each other in person. Season 1 did that too actually.

However, the framing here decides to split the call, so that both characters are visibly on screen at the same time. The above image is brightened. Crowley is shown on the camera's left. Aziraphale is shown on the camera's right. In season 1, that would be considered as them being on the wrong sides. The standard then was that Crowley would be to Aziraphale's left when both are seen from the front. However, they are on the wrong sides so frequently in season 2, especially after a certain point in episode 5, it becomes overwhelming noise and loses meaning. I don't trust it. I figure things are not as bad as they seem.

The plants are more clearly shown as being in Crowley's car.

...

Again, we don't actually see Crowley look in the mirror for his sideburns, but the camera work made sure we could see that the mirror is available quite early into the scene. He could have looked before the call. There are cuts of just Aziraphale and just Gabriel where Crowley could look without us seeing him look before he says, "Two minutes."

As the scene itself is presented, Gabriel's the last character on screen before it officially ends.

Referring to the timeline rundown post yet again, this scene does not have an obvious timestamp itself. In the context of the scenes surrounding it, it could finally actually fit into the timeline Aziraphale's been experiencing.

...

Muriel

I'm not making an entire separate post for this part so skip it or read it as you see fit. It covers a lot of what I already discussed here in the episode 1 section on this scene: Bookend Buddies - Crowley and Muriel.

This phone call scene connected to Gabriel with the fly acts a front bookend to Muriel's first scene in the entire season. Among my many theories about this season, I have one that Muriel and Crowley have a deep trust in each other, to the point I think they are good friends. I am starting to wonder if it is a mentor-student type relationship too, with Crowley taking on the mentor role and Muriel taking on the student role. That would be cute.

So, first, we are introduced to the matchbox. The story has decided that this matchbox and the quote on it are so important that the words are copied and flow out onto the screen, so that the bigger text can be more clearly read. The text itself says, "Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out." It includes, "Job 41: 19" as an additional reference.

We have seen and will see some things that remind us of that quote. Fire leapt out of Crowley's mouth in season 1, episode 6, when he was pretending to be Aziraphale. Later in this episode 1 of season 2, we are going to see lightning shooting out of Crowley with such force that the lights of the coffee shop itself go out as part of a power outage.

According to numerous sources found through Google that know better than I do, this quote is in reference to a leviathan. I probably read that on other Tumblr posts months ago too. Leviathans can be associated with snakes, and Crowley is a snake demon.

When we do get to Job later, Crowley is going to be shown with fire as part of his own power even if it is not literally shooting out of his mouth or involving lamps.

That's a lot of clues hinting at a link to Crowley. I think the matchbox is interested in him. The matchbox might be evil or borderline evil.

Eventually, we see Muriel. They are careful in their touch of picking up this suspicious object. They manage their digits deliberately in the touch itself, much like Crowley does for his touches.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

...

Past version of this post:

Post #3 (phone call with Aziraphale in the Bentley)

[randomperson99sworld]

Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 18 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly), physical abuse (Not by Dean).

Word Count: 815

A/N: Are you guys liking the story so far? Keep in mind this is a slow burn 🔥 Stated as always, this story is cross posted on my Wattpad. Happy reading! ♥️

It was well past midnight, and the bunker was eerily quiet except for the soft sound of pages turning. Sam sat hunched over his laptop, eyes strained from hours of research. Across from him, Julia absentmindedly flipped through one of Bobby's old journals, but her focus wasn't on the page. She kept glancing at the door, waiting for Dean.

Sam noticed her fidgeting and sighed. "He'll be fine, Julia. You know Dean."

Julia gave a half-hearted smile, but her worry was clear. "I know, but he's been gone for hours. You don't just walk into somewhere like that and stroll out like it's no big deal."

Sam leaned back in his chair, stretching. "True, but if anyone can handle it, it's Dean."

Just then, the heavy sound of the bunker door creaked open. Julia shot up from her seat, her heart pounding. Dean stumbled in, exhausted, his clothes smeared with dirt and blood. He looked like he'd been through hell and back.

"Dean!" Julia gasped, rushing to him. Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around him, relief washing over her. "You're alive," she whispered against his chest, her voice betraying the worry she had been holding in.

Dean froze for a split second, startled by the sudden hug. He wasn't used to this kind of reaction, especially from her. But then, something in him softened, and he awkwardly wrapped his arms around her, patting her back. "Whoa, easy there, Jules. I'm still in one piece."

Julia pulled back slightly, her eyes scanning his face, taking in every scrape and bruise. "Barely," she muttered. "You look like crap."

Dean gave a tired smirk. "Good to see you, too."

She rolled her eyes, stepping back and folding her arms. "You seriously need to stop making a habit out of looking like death warmed over. It's not a good look."

Dean snorted, shrugging off his jacket. "Trust me, this is nothing."

Sam, who had been watching the exchange with a smirk, finally stood up. "So, what happened?"

Dean took a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything that had transpired. He glanced at the both of them, his eyes lingering on Julia, who still looked like she was trying to figure out if he was really okay.

"Well, I got what I went for," Dean said, his voice rough with exhaustion. "The Mark of Cain."

Sam's face fell, his eyes widening. "Wait—what?"

Dean lifted his sleeve, revealing the angry, glowing Mark branded into his skin. "Yeah. Turns out, the First Blade's useless without this bad boy. Cain said I needed it to kill Abaddon."

Julia's eyes locked on the Mark, her stomach sinking. "Dean... that thing looks... wrong."

Dean rubbed his arm, the throbbing pain a constant reminder of the price he was willing to pay. "Yeah, it feels wrong, too. But we don't have a choice. If we want to take down Abaddon, I need the Blade."

Sam shook his head, clearly troubled. "And where is the Blade?"

Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair. "That's the fun part. Cain tossed it into the deepest part of the ocean. Crowley's on the hunt for it now. But something tells me this isn't gonna be easy."

Julia furrowed her brow, worry flashing across her face. "You trust Crowley to find it?"

Dean scoffed. "Hell no. But we're running out of options."

The room fell silent for a moment as the gravity of the situation set in. Sam looked at Dean with a mix of concern and frustration. "So, you're just going to bear the Mark? And hope this doesn't backfire?"

Dean's eyes darkened, and he glanced at the glowing red Mark again. "I don't like it either, Sammy. But right now, it's the only shot we've got."

Julia stepped forward, her expression softening just a bit. "You're not doing this alone, Dean. We're all in this together."

Dean gave her a tired smile, a bit of that usual banter flickering back. "What, you think I need backup now? I'm fine, Jules. I always am."

Julia raised an eyebrow, folding her arms. "Sure, because showing up looking like you got hit by a truck screams 'fine'."

Dean chuckled, shaking his head. "You're impossible."

She smirked, but there was still a glint of worry in her eyes. "You wouldn't last two days without us."

Sam, clearly still uneasy about the Mark, gave a small nod. "We'll figure it out. Just... don't do anything reckless."

Dean gave a mock salute. "Reckless? Me? Never."

Despite the heaviness of the situation, the tension between them all seemed to ease, if only for a moment. But as Dean looked down at the Mark on his arm, the weight of what was coming pressed down on him again. He'd need more than just the Blade to stop Abaddon. He'd need all the help he could get—whether he wanted it or not.

[ottosinventory]

Hello, here for a request :

Aziraphale and Crowley with a trans!masc reader (if you write for teenager!reader, maybe he is a teenager pls ? And all platonic ofc) that suffers from dysphoria. He wears binders more than the recommended time, and Aziraphale and Crowley discover it.

Ignore it if you don't want to write it, and have a nice day !!

OMFG I love this request. 🫶🥹

--------------------------------------------------------------

You were breathing heavily when you, Crowley and Aziraphale were running towards the Bently.

It was pouring rain when you three left the restaurant. When you arrived you guys could only find a parking spot a few blocks away. Aziraphale looked back at you when he reached the car.

"Com on Y/N" he sort of yelled.

You tried to regulate your breathing to no avail. When you finally reached the car you sat in immediately and didn't care that you were drenched. What rather bothered you was that this made the shirt you were wearing cling to your chest. You did your best to keep it away and dry it to make it less clingy.

Crowley looked at you through the rear view mirror with suspicion, you were more out of breath then usually.

"You're taking that off when we get home, right?" He asked looking over his sun glasses.

It took some time for Aziraphale to know what Crowley was talking about but when it clicked he immediately turned back towards you.

"Of course he is, he knows the limit is 8 hours" he smiled at you kindly.

You smiled back, strained. A warm feeling spread through your chest because of his trust in you.

But it disappeared as quickly as it came since you remembered that you have been wearing it for more than 12 hours a day with no breaks or break days.

You wanted to do it the healthy way, you really did. But the image in the mirror that showed your breasts was just too painful. You thought about wearing trans tape, but that wouldn't work as well as a binder and your breasts are your biggest insecurities.

Throughout the ride home you didn't say much. Your mind being occupied by how your chest looks right now and if the clingy wet shirt shows too much.

Crowley parked the car in front of the bookstore and you all walked in, it was still pouring down rain.

You walked in first and you were about to head upstairs to your room but heard your name being called.

"Y/N a word." Said Crowley.

You turned around and looked at him confused. He took his sunglasses off and looked at you.

"I'm a demon you know that right? It's not smart lying to me because thats what I do for work." He started as he sat down on the couch and gestured for you to sit down next to him.

Aziraphael looked at him just as confused as you.

"What are you talking about Crowley?" Crowley looked at his husband.

"How long exactly have you been wearing that binder?" The red haired demon asked at last.

There it was. The dreaded question. But how did he know? It didn't matter, he was right lying to him is stupid.

"Well..." you started trying to find a good way to explain yourself.

Aziraphale looked at you shocked. He detected the undertone that you used when you did something bad and were trying to make it sound better then it was.

"Y/N?" The Angel looked at you with worry.

"All right, maybe a bit longer than it's recommended, but I'm fine I feel no pain and this binder is good quality its not that painful." You tried, you really did but when it was about your well being these two turned into detectives with a doctorate in arguing.

"What's 'a bit longer'" looked at you skeptically Crowley.

F*ck. You were busted there was no helping it. You looked at the ground and muttered an 'all day long' quietly.

"What?!"

"All day long?!"

Sounded the mortified questions of your, well, at this point, parents.

"I can't help it, I HATE my boobs I just want to tear them off every time I look in the mirror someone else looks back at me." You said getting just a little upset.

Crowley took a deep breath.

"Y/N, We are not going to pretend we know exactly how you feel because we can take whatever form we want. But we know one thing. The health of humans is very fragile and you are just a teenager, you have your whole life ahead of you. You have to understand that repressing a part of your biological body is NOT healthy either way thats why there are restrictions."

You could hear the worry in his voice

"Y/N you are a boy with or without breasts. That is your identity, it's you, it's uniquely you. You are a boy and your looks cannot take that away from you because who you are comes from within and not from outside."

Finished what Crowley started Aziraphale with a kind tone.

You were starting to tear up. You were so lucky to have them in your life. You looked down.

"It still feels like shit." You sniffled.

They stood up and sat down besides you putting their hands on your shoulders on either side.

"We know, sweetling but you're strong, and you can get through it." Cooed slightly your Angel of a father.

"And, you'll need to take that binder off to keep that strength of yours so that you can move freely again." Finished Crowley as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You chuckled.

"Yeah, ok, I'll go and take it off." You said as you were about to stand up, only, two hugs from two sides form an angel and a demon held you down.

You smiled and hugged them back.

There was nothing in this world that meant more to you than this little family of yours. You would even stopp the end of the world just to stay with them. (A lil foreshadowing😉)

--------------------------------------------------------------

Its a little short I hope you don't mind🥹

This is such a cute request thank you🫶

And remember my fellow trans mascs wear a binder only for 8 hours a day and take breaks to stretch as well as a totally binder free day at least once a week. Take care of yourselves eat and drink plenty. Don't worry things will be all right you are strong and you got this. Love you❤️🌈

[qstarhalo]

Sorry, 3-4 in the morning...remy? Cake? Whatever you call me at this point here o/, time to briefly talk about two good omens × skephalo/happyduo (?) au ideas because I love it

- The ball from season 2 would most definitely be Bad's idea. Period. However, the invitation for a dance would be Skeppy. I don't know, I feel like it'll fit :P

- Bad usually keeps his hood on (like how Crowley keeps his shades (?)) but takes it off around Skeppy so his hair isn't too messy and difficult to deal with. Plus, he trusts Skeppy enough to know he wouldn't pull his hair (unlike Hell) (← I've spent way too long thinking about if this would be a good parallel but at this point, I'm just going to go with it)

[fowjiyo]

🛑 SO MANY SPOILERS TO GO2 SPOILER REVIEW 🛑

My review, which I wrote while watching and the end result.

From the first frames it is clear that this is a completely different level and like a completely different series. Perhaps due to the lack of a voice-over.

Crowley Angel is wonderful. The scene at the beginning with the creation of the stars is wonderful and amazing. In general, the visuals in the series and the music are beautiful.

Job's story, I liked it more than I thought. And by the way, he reveals to us not only the fact that it was Crowley who addicted Aziraphale to food, and then to alcohol, but also the fact that Crowley is a much more powerful demon than we were shown in the first season. Do the powers of demons depend on the rank they were in Heaven? In theory, yes.

Speaking in general about the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale, it is clear that it became much easier for them with each other than it was before. They are not afraid to visit each other, to appear in public, and the angel leaves his store to Crowley, who agrees to give the car. Gabriel is gorgeous, and there are hints of a fly in many shots at all. And how Beelzebub said that you need to find the archangel just for her.

The graveyard scene is great. The way Aziraphale constantly doubts which of the bad deeds can in fact be considered good and which are not. And Crowley, who drinks opium and becomes truly drunk for the first time? What to say about the hands of an angel on his waist))) Detective Aziraphale is funny and sweet, just like the demon in his shop. But of course, the icing on the cake is "at least a hair falls off his head" and "I'm always late", as if Crowley already realizes how much he is in love. Shaxx, who tries to bring Aziraphale out by saying that he doesn't have the taste of a demon, that many consider them a couple, is beautiful. And the episode from 1941, oh, although I expected something completely different from him, I was extremely happy to see this scene of trust between husbands. The fact that Nina counted them as practically husbands is another plus in the direction of the fact that everyone sees their relationship, but they do not. Aziraphale, planning a ball is so golden. So does Crowley, who always "loves to save him." I am so touched by this phrase.

Their dance >>> it is a pity that it was so little, but it was. And I hope to see something else in the third season. Episode 6 is question after question. Starting with the sudden love of Gabriel and Beelzebub, whose couple started out as a fan joke and ended up in Alpha Centauri. Hope we see them again. Next is Nina and Maggie, who seem to be not together, but there is hope.

And of course the FINAL FULL OF PAIN AND GLASS. MY GOD I DON'T REMEMBER WHEN I WEEPED THIS SERIES Ahem, that's it. Crowley who finally opens up to Aziraphale and an angel who wants so badly to bring his partner back to Heaven. I have already read the theory that Metatron could influence Aziraphale, and also the theory that the Most High is no more. But I doubt it very much. I love them both and so want happiness for them, and it hurts me so much to see their end. Crowley, who is most likely going back to his apartment, Aziraphale, who is a little nervous, as if trying to hold back tears, goes up to Paradise. He so wanted, so rejoiced at the opportunity for Crowley to become an angel again, the opportunity to work together officially, to change everything together. But what he doesn't realize is that Paradise is no longer the epitome of pure goodness and white, if it ever was. And he does not understand that it was not the fall that changed Crowley, but Rye. So... We have selected glass.

Later I will still have many thoughts about this, it is still difficult for me to formulate a thought, even after sleep, but this is what I can and want to say now. I'm going to stream the series until the third one is confirmed. I'm going to have therapy with fanfiction and edits and stuff. And of course there will be theories. But for now... Thanks to Neil Gaiman for the pieces of happiness and heartbreak. Thanks to David and Michael for excellent characters. Thanks to John, thanks to the whole team. This is a great season.

[trashboatprince]

Oh oh I got amonster omen prompt follow up, because listen,I am nothing if not predictable. You know the zombie au you wrote the thing for yesterday? They have to go out on a supply run for chocolate truffles or something else essential. Crowley needs new sunglasses? His moisturiser ran out? Either way. And one of them gets bitten

Gonna come at me with the angst, eh? :)

Warning: injury, blood, zombies, zombie death

On with the fic!

--

Aziraphale was not one to curse, he didn't like such foul language, but sometimes a swear was understandably necessary.

"Fuck."

He clutched at the wound at his arm, blood seeping into his jacket. The zombie before him had his blood dripping from her mouth and he knew he had to deal with this as soon as possible. He swung his blade and struck her in the head, knocking her to the ground.

"Aziraphale!"

"Shit." He hissed through his teeth, of course Crowley saw.

His partner rushed over just as the zombie started to rise from the floor, only for Aziraphale to turn sharply away, hearing a horrible, sickening crunch of a rotting head being destroyed under a boot. He coughed, trying not to gag, the sound was... uhg.

"Aziraphale!" Suddenly, he was pulled close, now staring into wild, fearful eyes. Crowley looked so distraught, of course they were, the bite was so obvious.

"Just... just a flesh wound, nothing bad, dear...!"

"Fuck that!" Crowley snapped and tore the ribbon tying back their hair and was quick to tie it back up into an extremely tight bow around Aziraphale's upper arm. "You got bit!"

"I'm... well aware." Aziraphale frowned, looking at the blood that soaked his sleeve. "I was trying so hard to be careful, but she caught me by surprise, I didn't hear her!"

He looked at the ground, where the sunglasses he had been trying to get for Crowley since they lost their original pair the other day. They were still intact, and he reached down to pick them up. "Here you are, darling."

Crowley looked at the sunglasses, and then back at Aziraphale, and it hurt so much to see how much pain and fear was in those beautiful, brown eyes. "You're gonna die..." They whimpered.

"Not unless if we..." Aziraphale looked at his sword, discarded when Crowley showed up to kill the zombie.

They saw what he was looking at, and then panicked. "I can't!"

"Yes, you can." Aziraphale swallowed. "It helps, it slows it down, we've seen it before. And then we'll need to find a clinic, they haven't killed all the power, we can do a blood transfusion. I'm O, I'm the most common-"

There was a horrible sob and he looked at his partner, who was crying into their hands. "You're gonna die, and it'll be all my fault!"

"No, no, it's not! I went to get the sunglasses myself, really, this... this is my doing."

"No, it's not! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" They kicked at an empty can, sending it flying across the store. They wiped at their eyes before looking at Aziraphale once more. "I don't want to lose you."

"Dear, oh, Crowley..." Aziraphale cupped their face and pulled them close, kissing their cheeks, their forehead, then their lips. "You won't lose me. Cut it off, then burn the stump. It will hurt, so, so much, but we have to do this. I will not die." He said with a determination that he hoped he truly believed.

Crowley swallowed and looked at the sword, picking it up a moment later. "Gonna clean it..." They pulled a towel from their pocket, one they had just washed this morning. They cleaned the blood from it before grabbing from their lighter.

Aziraphale watched as they sanitized it with the flame before he made his way to a shelf, high enough for him to rest his arm on. "One good swing should do it." He said, his voice small, nervous.

Crowley turned to him and dug into their bag, pulling out something, looked to be another one of their towels. They held it out, saying for him to bite down on it.

Aziraphale put it in his mouth and breathed through his nose, closing his eyes.

He trusted Crowley with everything in his being.

He knew his love would keep him going.

The blade swung down.

The scream was one they'd both be hearing in their nightmares later that night.

--

You give me a zombie au, I'll give you two lovers trying to survive together, no matter what.

:)

[thescottishalpaca]

Stop Angst, I only see fun in S3

Merry Christmas my dear. I hope this post doesn't hurt anyone of you and your belief, but, I mean: we're all suffering with a demon who doesn't trust in God willing, so…I was thinking: Crowley was one of the woman at the Golgotha.

Matthew 27:55–56 "many women … who had followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering to him, among whom were Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James and Joseph and the mother of the sons of Zebedee" .

Mary Magdalene is the one who almost every time reported together with the Virgin Mary (mother). NOW. What we know about Magdalene is that she was outcasted because of her emh…bad habits. We can define her as devilish. Nonetheless, Jesus helped here (canonically) and, in apocryphal evangel, she was his wife. You know what I'm suggesting. Season 3: we have Jesus.

J: "Magdalene!" C: "What…" J: "Oh my dear Magdalene, I never forgot about you" C: "Oh ngk yeah, emh…how're you? I thought you were… vaguely dead." J: "I was, but your smile just brings me back to life" C: "Oh well, apparently time passed and…I have a new life, Now" J: "Are you hanging out with someone, my treasure?" C:"Well, actually…" Az comes, worried A: ooooh Crowley, here you are, I really need your hel…hello.* Air freezes, Kill bill sounds* I have to suppose you moved on very quickly." C: "Ohohoho here we have the Jealous guy! Well, mind your business, I'm perfectly managing this situation" A: "Oh, I see, for sure. I am not even interested in you, I was looking for God's Holy Son" C:" Perfect, here he is, you can take him." J: "Hey hey calm down, I'm not leaving without you, my Golgotha Breeze" A:"… Golgotha Breeze. Seriously." impassible. C:"It was…2000 years ago, please." red cheeks A:"Ah, for sure. Also, your tastes changed, I see. You were more into tall, dark-haired, and bearded men" J:"what does this even mean?!" C: "NOTHING, THIS MEAN NOTHING. ANYTHING MEANS NOTHING: THIS ANGEL APPARENTLY DOESN'T MEAN NOTHING, WE DON'T MEAN NOTHING! JESUS, SORRY, WE WERE OVER TWO MILLENNIALS AGO" A: "AH! After that kiss, I don't mean nothing!?" J: "MAGGIE! WHAT'S THIS STORY!?" C: "Oh c'mon Jesus you knew you were not even the first…" A: "I THOUGHT IT WAS ME, YOUR FIRST!" C: "Angel, how could reasonably it be in 6000 years you were my first emh…creature!?" J: "Yes, apparently, this is a recurrent pattern for you, Mary." C: "Oh, shut up you." A: "Don't even think to shut up my Lord's Son!" C: "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! THAT'S HOW!" shakes hands A: "OH, Jesus. Leave this foul demon. He doesn't deserve us." J: "Indeed. I thought I had at least you, my former Love. In the end, you treated me as Judas did" A: "That's how he does. Don't worry. I'll prepare you some hot chocolate, kid. And about you… pointed Crowley. This Armageddon. All the Power, the Strength: you're fucking with the wrong Bitch. I'll show you what "the Other Women" can do".

[tonydaddingham]

lmao guess whos activated ✨blathering oaf mode✨ again (clue: its me)

(cut because length and spoilers, read at your own peril)

so this post got me spiralling into detective mode again and yes i know douglas suggesting it might have been war/pollution but i have certified trust issues™ and i dont believe that for one darn second

BUT

i also don't think it's a kiss. lemme explain horrifically

so i took another look at the two frames we have of The Leaked Smooch™ and the background has a lot to be desired (if you take into account that the boys are taking up most of the frame (duh), plus already fairly average quality video PLUS compression from when i captured it)

but i think we can safely rule out that The Leaked Smooch™ doesn't happen in the theatre here, mainly because even though the quality is bad, the glasses in the Smooch™ are crowley's modern ones, not the ones we saw him wear in the 1941 flashback in s1, plus his hair is differently styled... so yes can pretty confidently say this is not the kiss we are looking for

so i wanted to pinpoint what era the theatre bit is actually set in, and therefore i set about identifying the theatre in question. turns out kids that im not a good researcher (despite it literally being my job) so it took FUCKING AGES but i eventually found set photos of the boys entering a theatre, specifically the hippodrome in bo'ness:

now this was a turn-up for the books, because that's crowley's 1941 costume right??? id recognise that iconic fit anywhere. az's costume is trickier to pinpoint bc he wears the same damn thing but pretty sure this is a match to the church scene:

so we know from s1 that we have the church scene yada yada, and crowley offers aziraphale a lift home... which we know he accepts given that the s2 trailer gives us the ✨Dinner of '41✨ scene:

the other bit however to this puzzle is that there ALSO a set pic of aziraphale at the hippodrome in his magician's outfit. given the frame from the trailer where he looks like he's about to brick it going on stage, surrounded by lovely burlesque girlies and dame siân phillips in period dress, AND there were extras on the set dressed in ww2-type army uniforms, so i think it can be fairly surmised that this bit also occurs in the 40s

so my thought process is that we're getting two separate scenes (kinda) from the 40s, we have the church bit from s1 plus the Dinner of '41 scene as its own entity, but then, like

aziraphale is doing his magic act as a side hustle to this burlesque show? and crowley turns up to watch him, hiding out up in the box?

if we follow this completely made up narrative ive just come up with, aziraphale, im assuming, finishes up and gets changed into his normal clothes, and then goes up to this box to meet crowley?

to this end, i captured and slowed down the bit in the opening sequence where aziraphale and crowley (sorry douglas, not buying it) are in the box... and-

now to my eye, the motion of them in the clip looks like they are dancing? i don't have the source to hand but we've had it confirmed that a choreographer was brought into s2, not impossible az would go up to meet crowley after his magic act, whilst there's still something going on on the stage, and the two end up dancing or something? and az bless his heart gets spooked from that?

im reasonably convinced that this might be the origin of the 'you go too fast for me' line - something happens and ultimately aziraphale gets spooked given that he's only just realised he has Feelings for crowley, and so my boy fucking legs it (a lil post i made a while ago about this exact scenario if you'd care to peruse)

other thing to note:

there is a figure that is lurking behind aziraphale and crowley in the box, which looks like it moves specifically in sync with crowley, so it could be a shadow, or someone/thing is in the box that they aren't aware of 👀 so maybe this thing (?) witnesses it all? whatever went down in the box?

so in my addled feral mind, ive come up with a speculation that even as im breathing life into it sounds unhinged and so implausible it's hilarious -

i put to you, members of the jury, that something was meant to happen in that box, and it didn't... that something being that crowley makes a move of some kind - kiss, dance, hug, declaration, WHATEVER - and aziraphale was meant to accept it/reciprocate/idk, but didn't.

and that fucks with the plan, and for lack of better terminology creates a nexus event (lmao thanks loki) which in turns starts screwing with other events, somewhat like i theorised in this post here tehe

are aziraphale and crowley, essentially, the earth's endgame? idk about u but ive read enough angst fics to know that it's not inconceivable that crowley and aziraphale's mere existence may have been part of god's plan to represent free will on earth, defend humankind, and give balance and meaning to it

so what would happen if aziraphale essentially rejected that? did the most human thing possible and resisted the plan? idk i feel at this point i am just writing a fic and this will all be ludicrously incorrect bUT half the fun is torturing yourself over your own theories right 🙃