#don't talk to me i'm really confused right now

[grahstumhurts]

3. "The Cutest pair"

Cheerleader!Megan x Loser Band member! Reader

Rekindling Masterlist

A/N - Lowk "the cutest pair" by Regina song vibes but not exactly.

Wednesday comes fast, One moment you're hanging out at Megan's house, The other you're suddenly at a cheer practice which you never saw yourself at till you reconciled with Megan.  You're sitting on the bleachers, Megan’s letterman laid over your shoulders as you scroll on your phone. It feels performative, While on one hand for years and years you only pined for her. But now that you have her, Kind of, it's conflicting. It's not real, But damn do you wish it was. You hope part of her, wishes it’s real too.

“Hey” Megan yells from the grassy field, Giving you her signature puppy eyed smile. It melts a cold spot of resentment in your heart. “Come down, we are gonna go get food.” She blows you a kiss, Her friends giggle at her antics as they collect their things. You race down the steps into her wide open arms. Her scent lingering with her perfume and now combined with sweat.

“Hi, Megs” You kiss her sweaty cheek. “Gross your all sweaty, Go change.” 

“What? you don't like it?” She rubs her arms on you, Her friends whisper from the side, glancing between the two of you.

“What so you two are like, Actually dating?” Her friend Anya waves her finger around, gesturing at you.

“I thought I told you I was seeing Yn?” Megan slips her arms off your shoulders, Looking confused.

“I thought that it was just for us to stop setting you up with Greg. He really likes you,” Another one, whose name you don't know, comments.

“Just because Greg is Quinn’s brother doesn't mean I'm going to like him. He's clapped if anything, and not my type.” Megan sighs, rubbing her forehead in distress.

“Plus I am very happy with my current situation right now.” she wraps an arm around your waist to pull you into a side hug.

“I'm gonna head home, i'll talk to you guys later” She collects the last of her things and shoves them into her duffle bag, You follow behind her closely. As you pass her “So-Called” friends, you glare at them on your way out.

“Your strong for that, you know?” You bump shoulders with her while walking to your car, she leans against the hood. 

“You wanna come over to mine or just go to your house?” You grasp her hand into yours, rubbing your thumb in between the ridge between her forefinger and thumb, Trying to soothe some of her nerves. 

“I dont wanna go home just yet,” She looks down at her feet, her bags next to her shoes.

“So?” You question the meaning behind that.

“Honestly just wanna be somewhere with you,”

“Oh,” She fidgets with her fingers,

“Unless you have somewhere to be tonight, Totally fine if you do.” She gives you a grin to hide some of the hurt from this afternoon.

“I don't,” You pause. Thinking about things to do, for just the two of you. “Why don't we go to my house, Pick up some food and go for a picnic tonight?”

“Really?” The thought of being alone with her, at the park, on a blanket, Just looking at the stars. It doesn't frighten you somehow. As much as it seemed like dating her would be a dream when you had a crush on her, its not as scary as you made it out to be previously. You two hop in the car and head off to your house,

“You wanna make a pit stop at the grocery store for some snacks?” You grip the wheel with one hand, The other holding hers. She nods,

“I wanna get some Fox’s Jam’n cream, They are so good.” You chuckle at her, "I've been so obsessed with them recently"

“Well let's not get too excited, This grocery store is kinda limited at times.” You pull into the store parking lot. 

-

“Ohhh! I used to eat these all the time after school as a kid” You pull out one of your favourite snacks, A packet of seaweed rice crackers (A/N Yes those are actually my favourites)

“I remember, You would never share with me.” She snickers, Remembering the times as kids you two shared. “I used to get so mad cause i shared my snacks with you”

“Fair enough, Kid me was kind of a bitch.”

“Kind of? Understatement” Megan coughs out the other half of her sentence. You shove her shoulder, giggling.

“Your laughs really pretty” She blurts out. When she realises what she says her face turns red.

“Thanks, Meg.” Your face feels hot when her words settle in your brain.

 She thinks your laugh is pretty. 

Your laugh is pretty. 

Is pretty. 

Pretty. 

You two silently shove more snacks into the cart, adding in some drinks along the way. The silence isn't uncomfortable, Like it used to be. But usually before she would fill the gaps in conversation with funny thoughts that pop in her mind. It's more relaxed, one could say that the two of you look like you’ve been dating for years. The silence is warm and it smells of citrus and vanilla.

(A/n if your perfume is vanilla scented just pretend that its whatever your scent is)

[ramblingautisticman]

Something I've been thinking about I should probably go around and ask some people.

If you were in the Marvel universe and had a mutation. What would it be?

I mean, technically I'm pretty sure I have a mutation anyway because I'm ginger, though that really isn't that cool of a mutation in the Marvel universe when you have people with laser eyes and claws in their hands.

In the Marvel universe though, as much as I'd love to have something epic like fire powers or telekinesis, I honestly believe I'd have something that is kind of random but helpful in ways others wouldn't think off.

Something akin to being able to make everything silent in a certain area?

Now, your probably thinking "that's so random, why?", well my dear friend(s), because how amazing would that be for an autistic person who can't handle outside world noises??

I mean, sure, I could use it to confuse enemies, make them unable to communicate their next moves, help the X-Men sneak into battle, but I could also help people when they are having a panic attack, make sure little kids or animals don't get scared at loud noises, and make sure I don't get overstimulated in public places.

I would 100% make everyone learn sign language or finger spelling so everyone can communicate in the bubble, and also because it's a really handy skill anyway? And there has to be at least one deaf person at the school anyway, so imma imagine they are teaching that as a class already.

Can you imagine how good making a bubble that shuts out the outside world be with a whole ass mansion filled with PTSD riddled people who have nightmares? How much better it would be when the kids are getting rowdy or there is a fight? I would be sat there in silence just enjoying my day.

Plus, it isn't something I think alot of other people would think to have as a power? It wouldn't help me fight better, it wouldn't help me heal faster or be faster or anything like that, but I think it would be a strangley helpful ability to have.

I also like the idea of how interacting with certain people would be.

Like, Scott, Jean, Ororo and Charles all huddling into this tiny ass bubble I can make everytime Wade comes over. And yeah, I'm purposely making the bubble small because I would 100% hate that they don't like Wade's crazy stories.

Also, can I just say, Wade and Logan are definitely the uncles of the mansion, right? Like, all the kids are huddling around them when they show up, listens to Wade talk about random shit and does whatever Logan tells them too.

Logan is getting overwhelmed with noises because he can hear basically fucking everything? Boom! I'm making him a lil bubble for him while he sits and calms down.

A few of the kids are scared of the fireworks for 4th of July? Some of the adults too? Easy, I'll make a huge bubble made so everyone gets to enjoy the night!

[kangshxrtie]

56 . secret service

prev . main

"why does this look like an intervention?" chaeyeon asked as you walked into the room, raising an eyebrow at the spectacle in front of her.

"i told y'all not to show up like this," you groaned, eyeing nien, kaede, and yeonji, who were all dressed like they were apart of the secret service.

the four of you had agreed to use yeonji's dorm study room for some privacy, but clearly, the rest of the group had turned this into a production.

"we wanted to set the tone for a serious conversation," nien said matter-of-factly, adjusting her sunglasses.

"looking the most unserious possible?" you shot back, gesturing to her outfit.

"i'd take us seriously," yeonji said, arms crossed like she was guarding the door.

"you're all unhinged," you muttered, throwing yourself onto one of the chairs.

"you love us for it, though," kaede said, smirking as she leaned against the table.

"sometimes," you replied, shooting her a side-eye.

"anyway," chaeyeon cut in, glancing at her phone. "nakyoung's on her way. she did ask why we're having a 'study session' in a random dorm, but don't worry—i told her it was your idea."

"bro, why me?" you groaned, flopping onto the couch as if you could somehow sink into it and disappear. "she's gonna act more delusional now."

"too late now," chaeyeon smirked, leaning against the table. "she's like two minutes away, so maybe practice looking less... scared."

"i am scared," you shot back, sitting up. "this feels like a trap."

"it's not a trap," nien said, adjusting the sunglasses she absolutely didn't need. "we're just here to make sure you don't fold."

"fold? i'm not gonna fold!" you protested, glaring at her.

kaede snorted, leaning against yeonji like they were on a stakeout. "yeah, okay, say that now, but watch her walk in and suddenly you're considering the car kiss again."

"oh my god, i keep telling yall that didn't happen!" you shouted, throwing your head back in frustration.

"we've heard the denial," yeonji said, deadpan.

"i hate it here," you muttered.

"too bad," nien said, looking at the door, "nakyoung's already here. act normal."

before you could even reply, the door creaked open, and nakyoung stepped in cautiously, her eyes scanning the room. she looked a little confused, probably because nien was wearing sunglasses inside, kaede had a clipboard for no reason, and yeonji was straight-up sitting with her arms crossed like a bodyguard.

"uh..." nakyoung blinked, clearly trying to process the scene. "what's going on here? i thought this was a study thing?"

"it is," chaeyeon said smoothly, stepping forward like a spokesperson. "but, you know, they like roleplaying sometimes."

nakyoung's gaze landed on you, her expression softening a little. "hey, y/n. i'm glad to see you here."

"uh, yeah," you said, shifting uncomfortably. "i, uh... thought it'd be a good idea to talk. you know... clear the air."

"oh," she said, a faint smile tugging at her lips. "yeah, i'd like that."

"i think we'll... step out," kaede said, standing and gesturing for the others to follow. "give you guys some privacy."

"finally," you muttered under your breath as they filed out, but not before nien gave you a warning look.

as soon as the door clicked shut, nakyoung sat down across from you, folding her hands on the table. "so... where do we start?"

you swallowed, suddenly very aware of the tension in the room. the casual humor from earlier went away the moment nakyoung sat down.

"i guess we start with... everything," you said, gesturing between the two of you. "i mean, things have been weird, right?"

"that's putting it lightly," nakyoung said with a dry laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "but yeah, weird is a good word for it."

you nodded, fiddling with the hem of your sleeve. "i felt like... really betrayed when you just broke up with me and moved on so fast. i thought all your feelings for me would be gone so i didn't even think dating xinyu would affect you at all, but apparently it did."

nakyoung tilted her head slightly, her expression softening. "i do feel really bad about that, i want you to know that me dating sohyun was literally just me being stupid and if i could go back i would take it all back."

you hesitated, the words caught in your throat. you glanced at the door, half-expecting one of your friends to burst in with their unsolicited commentary, but the room remained silent. it was just you and nakyoung.

"you say that but at the end of the day you still did it," you said finally, your voice quieter. "i chased you around for a whole ass week embarrassing the fuck out of myself while you were apparently starting a whole thing with sohyun and i don't think i can ever fully forgive you for that."

nakyoung blinked, her lips parting slightly in surprise. she stayed quiet for a moment, as if processing what you'd just said. "that's... fair," she said softly. "i just ran into sohyun when we broke up and we got to talking and i fucked up. i don't even know what i was thinking."

you let out a small, humorless laugh. "well that sucks for you."

"i can't even be mad because you're right" she agreed, a small smile breaking through.

"that was mean but..." you paused, searching for the right words. "i want you to give up on me now. i'm not gonna lie if you had decided this a little earlier in my relationship with xinyu i would've taken you back so fast, but you were late."

"we can still be friends though," you said, trying to lighten the mood.

nakyoung gave you a knowing look, "you know that won't work out."

"it was worth a shot," you shrugged.

she smirked, her gaze softening. "but hey, if xinyu ever messes up... remember me."

"trust, i will," you said, trying to keep it light. "i've learned to be very messy lately."

nakyoung chuckled, shaking her head. "good to know."

there was a comfortable silence for a moment before she leaned back in her chair, eyes twinkling. "now that we've cleared talked... can i ask something?"

"sure," you said, already bracing yourself for whatever was coming next.

"why the fuck are they dressed like that? are they practicing for something?" nakyoung's eyes flickered toward the door.

you groaned, burying your face in your hands. "they're just... extra like that."

nakyoung burst into laughter, her warm, genuine laugh filling the room. for the first time in a while, it felt like things were starting to get back to normal between you again. you would miss her, but at least you had xinyu now.

main . nxt

taglist ༒ @gtfoiydlyj @inybits @baewonlove @yeetaberry127 @sananapotter @happyjuhyun @nicstumblur @museujin @urmom2314 @yunalvrrr @jeindall777 @saysirhc @idleyuri @yerimbrit @sixflame438 @artrizzler19 @peranoo @motoprincessella

[love1mang0]

Promise (OP81)

inspired by Promise by Laufey

Listen!!!

warnings: angst (unrequited love) but a bit of fluff at the end

You were hanging out with your friend as usual, and you were talking about how you missed Oscar, both you and Oscar hang out whenever you can and his schedule is free, which isn't often as he travels a lot due to his racing career,

You had a thing for Oscar, well more than a thing; it was more like a crush. You knew he would not like you. I mean, why would he? He only sees you as a friend, so your friend told you to put distance. She said it would help you figure out your emotions. He never texted you first, so you decided to do it until he texted you, and you vowed to yourself to put distance until you figured out what you felt.

Two months had passed without any contact whatsoever. He didn't text or call you, and you didn't either. You were so close to texting him, but you wanted him to text first. It was too much, and you missed him, so you caved and texted him.

“Hi, how are you?”

After that, you continued with your day, you figured out he wouldn't text you back quickly, you were right, maybe it was the time zones but his only reply was a 

“hi” 

hi? You don't text him for two months out of the blue and his only reply is hi? Not a how are you? Or where did you go? So now you´re just sitting there, and you want to cry because you know he doesn't like you like you like him but you already knew that you two would never even last together if you were a couple so why can't you just enjoy his friendship? 

You broke the vow you made to yourself and called him. You knew you shouldn't have and you wouldn't have if it weren't for how much you liked him, it broke you to be his friend but you know it would break you more if you were nothing with him. He answered the call.

“Y/N? Are you ok?” he asked a bit worried

“Hey Osc, yeah I'm fine,” you said in a neutral tone

“What happened to you? Why haven't you texted? Did I do something wrong?” he sounded more worried

Why did he sound so worried? If he was why hasn't he texted you?

“I was scared to text you in case I did something to bother you, you mean a lot to me” he started rambling.

“Really?” you asked genuinely curious.

“Yes, you´re sweet, you´re kind, you´re incredibly smart, and you´re so beautiful I mean your eyes are just so…”

“You think I'm beautiful?” your words and tone sounding confused

“... I wanted to tell you this in person, I like you Y/N… a lot actually, and I miss you, I miss you so much, you mean the world to me, you bewitched me,” he confessed.

Maybe you did the math wrong, maybe you would last together…

Fast forward a month and you get a knock on your door and when you open it, it was Oscar.

“Hey,” he said with a smile on his face.

“Hi,” you smiled.

next, I will write the Franco x Reader one

also, I know it's not Monday but it's Thanksgiving so I wanted to write something for you guys!

this has 528 words, if you have any suggestions PLEASE tell me and I will write them!

[enha-roza]

HOW MAKNAE LINE FOUND OUT

Enhypen 8thmember!oc

synopsis : How the maknae line found out and reacted to Roza and Hyung line dating.

wc : 1.8k

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *✧

Jungwon : The members agreed if anyone in the maknae line was gonna find out first it should be Jungwon. He’s the leader and it makes sense he should know for the dynamic of the team. It had been a month since they started dating and thought now would be a good time to tell Jungwon. The five of them were gathered in Roza’s room when they messaged Jungwon telling him to come see them.

“Hey, what's up?” Jungwon said, clearly confused as he was greeted by the five members waiting for him. “Umm, we wanted to talk to you about something…” Roza said quietly. Jungwon felt a little scared, was he in trouble or were they angry at him. He didn't know. “Is something wrong?” “no.. it's about something important. Sit down” Jungwon sat down next to Roza as Heeseung got ready to speak. “So I'm sure you have been well aware that some of us have had romantic feelings for Roza, Right?” Heeseung started. “Maybe…” Jungwon replied. “Well those feelings have turned into a relationship,” Heeseung continued. “With who?” Jungwon blurted, quickly looking at Roza to find out which member she was dating.

“That's the thing, it's not just one member.” “Wait, now I'm confused? More than one of you is dating Roza?” “all four of us are…” Jake said getting right to the point. “What…” “I know it's a lot to process but it's true and we wanted to let you know first because you're the leader.” Roza said as Jungwon’s mind went into overdrive. “All of you… at the same time?” “yes” they all said at once. “Well that's different, but i guess if it works why not?”

The air in the room was still thick as the members sat in silence. “Was that it?” “yea, that was it…” Roza whispered. “That wasn't as bad as I was expecting. It was kinda obvious you guys like Roza, but this wasn't the outcome I was expecting.” “Was it really that obvious?” Jay said. “I mean kinda, Niki was already suspicious.” “Really, He was?” Heeseung said as he was nervous. “What did he say?” “He said he caught you guys talking about it a couple of weeks ago?” “he was properly spying on us” “Yes i was” the members turn to see Niki at the door. “What are you doing? We're having a private conversation.” “Well you left the door wide open, that's not my fault.” He smirked.

Niki : “What's up?”. “I have a question and I want you to be honest with me”. “Yea dude, of course what up?” Jay said, getting a little concerned. Heeseung took a deep breath as he calmed his nerves before speaking. “How would you feel about us dating Roza… like at the same time?”. “You mean like us four all dating Roza together…” Jay said, clarifying what he heard. “Yeah, I don't know. Heeseung and I brought it up last night and it truly doesn't sound like a bad idea knowing how we all feel about her. This might be the best solution”. Heeseung nodded his head in agreement with Jake.

Niki stood outside the door as the older members talked amongst themself. Niki wasn't surprised at all. He had a hunch that at least two of them liked Roza but all of them. That was a little surprising. As Niki continued to listen through the door he heard them finishing up their talk and quickly went back to his room. Later that week he made his way to Jungwon's room to talk to him about what he found out.

“Hyung, can I talk to you?” “yeah what's up?” Niki braced himself as he knew what he was gonna say would sound a little weird. “I'm pretty sure the hyung’s like Roza…” “really, you think?” “well i don't think i know…” “wait what! How?” “I overheard them talking about it the other day.” Jungwon sat there confused. “All of them?” “Yeah, I think so?” “That's interesting,” Jungwon said, eyebrows furrowed together. “Well I guess we'll just have to see what happens with that then…” “What's the probability that they all date her” Niki said, a smirk on his face. “I'm gonna say pretty low… doesn't seem likely to me. Now leave my room.” Niki got up leaving Jungwon alone.

“That's the thing, it's not just one member.” “Wait, now I'm confused? More than one of you is dating Roza?” “all four of us are…” Jake said getting right to the point. “What…” “I know it's a lot to process but it's true and we wanted to let you know first because you're the leader.” Roza said as Jungwon’s mind went into overdrive. “All of you… at the same time?” “yes” they all said at once. “Well that's different, but i guess if it works why not?”

Niki had just finished gaming when he overheard the members talking. “What are they doing?” walking towards the sound, he was surprised to find the members all talking with the door wide open. He stood there and continued to listen as they talked.

“I mean kinda, Niki was already suspicious.” “Really, He was?” Heeseung said as he was nervous. “What did he say?” “He said he caught you guys talking about it a couple of weeks ago?” “he was properly spying on us”

“Yes i was” the members turn to see Niki at the door. “What are you doing? We're having a private conversation.” “Well you left the door wide open, that's not my fault.” He smirked. He watched as the Hyung line began to argue about who left it open. “It was probably Jake,” Jay pointed. “It wasn't me! It was probably Sunghoon!” Jake yelled back. Niki looked at Roza who called him over to join her and Jungwon on her bed. “So you already knew?” Roza questioned. “Not fully, but I had a hunch that was what was happening. You guys also were not subtle at all… just saying.” He laughed.

“Oh well, at least you know… only Sooyoung and Sunoo left.” She whispered. The four older boys were still squabbling when Roza told them to leave. “Wait, why?” Heeseung said as all four look equally confused. “I want time with my maknae’s. Now go.” "that's not fair…” Jake pouted. “Too bad!” Niki laughed. “Noona likes us more…” Jungwon smirked as the four hesitated to leave but eventually did. Roza, Jungwon and Niki continued to laugh as they heard them talking outside. “Can't believe our own girlfriend just kicked us out of her room.” “You like us more right?” Niki questioned. “Oh yeah.” Roza said, the trio giggling amongst themselves.

Sooyoung : Roza and Sooyoung being the only girls in Enhypen meant they were super close, often telling each other any and every secret. That also meant they knew when the other was keeping something from them. Both girls had been sitting in silence, just enjoying each other's company. Sooyoung could tell something was off, Roza kept glancing at her.

“You wanna tell me something?” Sooyoung questioned. Roza, caught off guard, just stared at her. “What no…” “you do i can see it on your face.” Roza hesitated before deciding to talk. “You know how i told you about how i maybe liked Heeseung…” “how you love him?” Sooyoung teased. “shut up…” Roza laughed shyly before carrying on. “Well I like someone else.” “Wait, who? What about Heeseung!” “just let me explain…” Sooyoung's eyes watching as Roza fought off her nerves. “I like Sunghoon too… and Jake and Jay as well maybe…” Now it was Roza's turn to watch as Sooyoung's brain worked overtime trying to register what she just said.

“You like all four of them?” “yeah, basically…” “Well that wasn't what i expected. I was expecting something more shocking.” She laughed. “I'm dating all four of them..” Roza blurted, Sooyoung looked shocked. “What?” “I'm dating all four of them…” “at the same time?” Roza nodded her head. Silence took over the room. Roza felt nervous, Sooyoung’s face shocked and still. “You're not mad are you. I promise I was gonna tell you sooner, I just forgot. And I wasn't planning for this to happen, it just happened, I swear-” Sooyoung grabbed Roza’s hands stopping her rambling.

“Hold on, I'm not mad. I'm just surprised okay…” The reassuring smile on Sooyoung’s face immediately calmed Roza down. “Okay, I just got scared. I didn't know how you were gonna feel.” “I get it. But it makes sense now, that was the big news I was expecting from you.” “You always read me like a book, don't you?” “I have my hunches.” both girls lying down on Sooyoung's bed giggling. “So how long have you guys been dating?” “I would say close to a month I think?” Roza could see Sooyoung’s smirking creeping onto her face.

“What?” “have you kissed any of them yet?” Roza rolled her eyes, a blush spreading across her face. “Maybe…” “It was Heeseung wasn't it?” “how did you know?” Roza questioned. “let's just say Niki caught you two in the dressing room a couple of days ago..” Sooyoung laughed as Roza sat up shocked. “Niki can't keep his mouth shut can he!” She half shouted. “No, I don't think he can.” Sooyoung watched as Roza got up quickly leaving her room. “Where are you going?” “I need to tell Sunoo before Niki does.”

Sunoo : Sunoo was coming out of the bathroom after doing a face-mask when Roza came running towards him and pushed him back inside the bathroom. “Woah, what's happening?” He questioned as Roza locked that door. “I need to tell you something.” “Yeah, what is it?” “I'm dating Heeseung-” “what!” Sunoo shouted, cutting Roza off before she could finish. “Wait! I have more to say.” “You just told me you're dating Heeseung. What's more shocking than that?” Roza took a deep breath. “I'm dating Heeseung and Sunghoon-” “what-” She put her hand on Sunoo’s mouth.

“I'm dating, Heeseung and Sunghoon and Jay… and Jake…” Sunoo’s jaw dropped and he just stood in silence. “No way!” “yes.. Way?” a smile now on Sunoo’s face. “You're being serious?” “yes..” “Niki was right!” Roza's face froze. “Niki told you?” “yeah… at first i thought he was lying!” “I'm gonna kill him!” Sunoo grabbed Roza’s hands trying to hold her back as she opened the bathroom door.

“What are you doing?” Both Roza and Sunoo turned to see Heeseung staring at them. “What were you doing in the bathroom together?” “She just told me about your guys little arrangement” Sunoo giggled as Heeseung blushed, realizing what he was talking about. “Oh, yeah.. That.” “Niki told everyone before we could!” Roza said. “He did?” “Yes, he even told Sooyoung before I could.” She pouted. “I'll go talk to him.” Heeseung sighed, going to find the maknae.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *✧

a/n : Niki is the maknae 💜 which means he is the Youngest! (iykyk)

[lostbookmark]

MDNI 🔞

Main Masterlist here

Whispered Vowes Masterlist here

Summary: You thought planning your wedding was going to be a magical memory. You didn't realize that it might make you second guess everything.

Pairing: Fiancée Yoongi x Insecure F. Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst, Smut, Hurt-Comfort

Warnings: Explicit Sex, Toxic Family, Arguments, Sex Toys, Self Doubt, Over Thinking, Unprotected Sex, Yoongi Overworking Himself, Reader Needs To Speak Up

A/N: I finished the epilogue!! I hope everyone that's celebrating Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving has an amazing one!

You walk down the sidewalk with your two best friends flanking each side of you. Today was the THE day! The thought of wedding dress shopping has been eating at you for a week now. You were finally going to have to face your mother for the first time in person since she practically kidnapped you to look at overpriced venues that she could only dream about. You were thankful that Yoongi's mom couldn't be here today. You didn't want her to witness what was sure to be a shit show. You had promised to send her pictures.

“Are you absolutely sure that you want both of them here?” Jisoo asked as the three of you approached the boutique.

“I get inviting your mom but….your sister. I think you have gone nuts,” Lisa says.

“I told you,” you say as you stop walking to look at them. “She and I are fine. Things are getting better.”

It's not a lie. Things have definitely been getting better between you and your sister. While the two of you haven't met up in person since that fateful day in the coffee shop in February, you have talked and texted a lot. It might not be every day, but you do communicate several times a week. It’s mainly mundane topics and wedding talk, but that was perfectly okay with you. This is how you found out that your mother has every intention of buying you her dream wedding dress. That poofy, sparkly princess dress that you absolutely hate. You are pretty sure that someone is going to walk out of the shop today crying, and it's not going to be tears of joy. Will it be you or your mom? You are hoping it's the latter.

You can see your mom and sister standing outside of the wedding dress boutique as the three of you finally get closer to the destination. Lisa throws her long hair up in a ponytail and takes her hoop earrings out before throwing them in her purse that hangs at her side. You throw her a look of confusion, and she shrugs.

“If I have to fight, I need to be ready,” she whispers loudly.

“There will be no fighting,” Jisoo counters. “We are here to support our friend. This is a very special day.”

“I will support her by punching a bitch if I have to,” Lisa hisses.

“Listen,” you say, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. “I'm really stressed out right now. I really appreciate your willingness to fight, but please, please don't do it today.”

“I make no promises except for that I will try,” she tells you as she rolls her eyes.

“Good enough,” you grumble and continue your walk forward.

As you approach your family, you can see that your mom and sister seem to be in some sort of heated discussion. Your sister has her arms crossed over her chest and is shaking her head vigorously while your mom looks like she is attempting to scold her. Great. You clear your throat, and your sister quickly turns to you, giving you a tight smile.

“Finally,” your mother says, looking at you with a pinched look on her face. “I must say that I'm surprised that I was still invited here after all the trouble you're going through to ignore me.”

“Now is not the time to talk about this,” Jisoo said gently as you bit the inside of your cheek. “Why don't we go into the store and look around some.”

Jisoo takes your moms arm and directs her into the dress shop. Lisa stays near you and glares at your sister, who glares right back at her. You nudge Lisa and point to the door to the boutique. Taking your hint, she huffs and walks past your sister, growling at her as she passes to go into the store.

“She really hates me, doesn't she? " Your sister asks, as she turns her attention away from Lisa.

“She's just protective,” you say in defense of your friend.

“Listen, mom bought you the dress,” your sister tells you. “Mingyu and I overheard her on the phone last night confirming the details when she was over for dinner.”

“What?” You ask with wide eyes.

“Yeah, Mingyu even kicked her out of the house when we confronted her about it. He said she needs to learn to respect our wishes, and if she can't, then she's no longer welcomed in our home. She is pissed at me because I won't back her up,” she says quickly as she shoots a look to the large window you two were standing in front of.

“Holy shit,” you say, looking at the ground as you let her words sink in. “Is that what you were talking about just now?”

“Yeah, she wants me to call off the wedding,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “She always said how he was the perfect man. How he was so good-looking, rich, and how we looked so good together. Now, he stood up to her, and she wants me to get rid of him.”

“You're not…” You start, but she cuts you off.

“NO!” She exclaims. “I'll choose Mingyu over her every day.”

There is a knock on the window of the boutique. You look and see Lisa waving for the two of you to come in. Glancing at your watch, you see it's almost time for your appointment to start.

“We will have to talk about this later,” you tell her, and she nods her head in agreement.

“You ready?” She asks, walking over to the door and opening it for you.

“As I'll ever be,” you respond and walk into the shop.

“No,” you say as you look at the dress that's hanging on a champagne fabric wrapped hanger in your moms hand. You are positive it’s the one that she bought for you.

“You don't even know what it looks like until you try it on,” your mom argues. You look to your friends or sister for help, but they are busy looking through the dresses on the racks spread throughout the room to notice. “Please, just try it on. What harm is it going to do?”

You snatch the hanger, maybe a little too roughly out of her hand, and head to the dressing room to shut her up. You feel shy upon entering the room that was surrounded by mirrors when an attendant accompanies you inside. She takes the dress from you and hangs it from a gold hook on the wall. You quickly undress as she unlaces the back and pulls the zipper down, getting it ready for you to step into. You watch as she expertly lays it out on the floor that you hoped they cleaned before your appointment. You might not like the dress, but you don't want to ruin it. You carefully step into the material barefooted as she gently pulls the dress up your body. You close your eyes and take in how the dress feels heavy on your frame. That wasn't a good sign, and you can't bring yourself to look in the mirror. You know that you probably look ridiculous.

“You can look,” she says gently after she finishes zipping you up. “It's a little big on you. We would have to take it in some.”

One…two…three. You open your eyes, and you stare at yourself expressionless in the mirror as soon as you see the reflection of yourself. You look like an abominable snowman, a marshmallow, a cotton ball. The dress was stark white with layers upon layers of tulle in the skirt that made you feel like you were being swallowed up by the fine netting. The bodice was covered in probably hundreds of iridescent beads that were scraping your inner arm, irritating it. They were accompanied by a plunging sweetheart neckline, showing off way more skin than you would like for your wedding day. Especially in front of Yoongi's family. You hated it. You knew you would.

“We have plenty of other silhouettes that you can try on,” your attendant tells you as she takes in the look of disgust on your face. “Brides go through so many dresses before they find the one of their dreams. It's okay to not like this one.”

“I have to show my mom,” you tell her. “This is the dress of her dreams.”

“What about your dreams?” she asked, smiling sadly at you almost like she understood what you were going through. You wonder how many brides come through here trying on dresses to make others happy. You hope it's not many.

You shrug and give her a small smile in return. Leaving the room, you go back out onto the floor and stand in front of a set of cream colored couches where everyone sat. Your mom lights up as she looks at you being swallowed by all the tulle. Her hands pressed against her chest as she beams at you. Of course, your pageant mother loves the over the top dress. Jisoo's face is cringing, and she's trying to hide behind her phone, Lisa is literally straight up pointing at you as she silently laughs, and your sister is subtly shaking her head no at you.

“Turn, turn,” your mom says, as she pulls out her phone to begin snapping pictures. “I told you. It looks perfect on you. Do you have a tiara? She needs a veil, preferably with a long dramatic train. ”

“I don't want a tiara,” you grumble, but your mother brushed you off with a wave of her hand.

“How about we try something else,” your sister says, interrupting your mother as she walks over to you and hands you another dress. This one, thankfully, seems like it had much less material.

You cautiously take the dress from her and head back inside the dressing room while lifting the skirt of the dress so you don't trip. You carefully take the heavy dress off once the door closes with help, and you try on the next dress without really looking at it. The attendant makes a noise of surprise as she buttons you into it. She steps away and smiles at your reflection in the mirror.

“It fits perfectly. It doesn't even need to be altered. Go ahead and take a look,” she said encouragingly.

You turn with a deep breath and slowly open your eyes to look in the mirror. She was right. It fit perfectly against your body and hugged you like a glove. The vintage sleeveless, lace mermaid dress flowed beautifully as it hugged every curve of your body. The off-white color seemed to be much more flattering compared to the stark white marshmallow, making it seem much more elegant and simple. It made you feel beautiful. It was perfect.

You turn and glance at the back of the dress before doing a small circle, trying to see every view of the dress. You loved it. You absolutely loved it. Damn it, you can feel yourself start to cry. You understand now why women always cry on those dress shows on tv. You can actually envision yourself walking down the aisle to Yoongi in this dress. It felt magical. It felt right.

“I think this is the one,” she said, handing you a tissue so you can dab at your tears. “Like it was meant to be.”

Wiping your eyes, you take a deep breath and go out to the floor once again. You take one look at your best friends and the damn breaks. Tears start falling rapidly now, and you can hardly keep up with catching the droplets.

“Oh, sweets,” Lisa said, crying along with you.

“It's so beautiful on you,” Jisoo said over Lisa’s whaling as she took several pictures of you.

“A perfect fit,” your sister said softly, smiling at you.

You are able to calm yourself after a minute and turn some circles for them. Your hands run over the floral lace fabric as you once again look in a mirror off to the side in the main room. You don't want to look at your mom. You can imagine what her expression is. It's probably an angry, sour expression. You have to quickly remind yourself that this is not about her. You are not going to let her take this moment from you.

Your attendant approaches you again. Reaching up, she clips a veil in your hair and lays the train out flat behind you. Lisa cries louder, and Jisoo shushes her as she lightly pats her on the back. You finally look at your mom, and she's quietly staring at you. You think her eyes look glassy. This is it. You know it is. This is the one.

“I'll take it,” you say with a smile as you look at the attendant. “I don't need to see anymore. This is the one.”

Leaving the store, you button up your jacket with Lisa and Jisoo right next to you, the latter holding your dress. Your mom and sister leave last, but your mother comes around and stands in front of you, stopping you from being able to walk away from her.

“Umm,” Jisoo said and looked at you. “I'll get this home. Don't worry, I'll keep it safe.”

“Thank you,” you say softly and hug her goodbye.

“Do you want me to stay?” Lisa asks you but stares directly at your mom. “I have all day.”

“You know what, Lisa,” your sister says, and Lisa's eyes snap to her. “Why don't you and I grab a coffee. My treat.” Lisa's sharp eyes turn to you, and you nod your head, yes, encouraging her.

“Fine, only because you are paying,” Lisa sniffed and squeezed your hand in departure.

You sigh as you watch them walk away. You didn’t want to be alone with your mother, but you can't stand the stress of avoiding her anymore. It's been getting to you more than you want to admit.

“I must say,” your mom said, nodding her head. “You looked beautiful.”

“Really?” You asked shocked, not expecting those words to come out of her mouth.

“Yeah,” she sighs. “I still like the first dress better, but you looked…happy. I think it's the first time I've seen you happy in a while. Our last interaction…you seemed…angry. Even right now. You seem so tired.”

“Mom,” you sigh and dig your hands in your pocket. “It's wedding planning….it's stressful.”

“He should have been there looking at venues with you and not me,” she tells you, and it makes you roll your eyes.

“It's not like you gave us a chance to do it on our own,” you argue.

“Has he helped at all?” She asked, crossing her arms.

“He's helping the best he can,” you defend him. “He's just busy right now. His job is important.”

“So, that's a no,” she sighs and shakes her head. “You're so young, Y/N. I know Yoongi is handsome, talented, and rich, but that will only get you so far. I want you to be sure about this. Divorce isn't fun. Are you sure he is the one?”

“Mom,” you say, rolling your shoulders trying to ease the tension. “Thank you for worrying about me, but I'll be fine. Yoongi, he loves me, and I love him. Even if he weren't talented and rich, I would still love him, and I would still marry him.”

“What happens when you have children? Will he be there then, or will work still be more important? You don't know what it's like to take care of two sick children at the same time…alone….no help because I do,” your mother argues. “I don't want that for you. Your dad was like him. Always busy, never enough time for the family, and always running to his office as soon as things got hard.”

“Yoongi won't do that to me,” you argue back. “He's not going anywhere. Mingyu isn't going anywhere. Stop trying to control us before you lose us for good.”

With that, you walk away before she could say anything else. You didn't need her to try and plant any more seeds of doubt in your head. Yoongi was not your father. He knew exactly how you grew up and was sure he would do better for your future children. He would show them love and shower them with attention. Right? You're positive he will. He will show them unwavering support and their number one cheerleader. Right? Yes, of course he will. Hopefully.

You lie on the couch, scrolling through your phone later the same day looking at shoes to match your wedding dress. You have plenty of heels, but none are off white in color. A part of you wonders if you can get away with going barefoot. You wanted to take the option of comfort over stylish. The dress is long and would definitely cover your feet, but you are sure the winery probably would not allow it due to health codes. Flats? Possibly, probably the best option.

The front door swings open suddenly, startling you, and Yoongi quickly comes into the apartment. The door slams shut behind him, and he's on top of you before you can even fully react to him being home. You look at him with a startled expression, which he kisses off your face.

“What's going on?” You ask as you lay frozen underneath him.

“I have good news and better news,” he said, biting his bottom lip. “Which one do you want first?”

“Good news,” you say warily.

“One, Jimin is my best man so that way he can walk with Lisa down the aisle. Hobi and Jin are fighting over the second spot. It will get figured out before our tux fitting. Which….I made the appointment today. Two, I also made an appointment at the jewelers downtown to find our wedding bands next week. Three, I started planning our honeymoon,” he explains and gives you a big kiss on the mouth.

“What's the better news,” you ask as you push him away with a smile.

“Oh, we finished the album,” he said casually.

You gasp and launch your body up off the couch. You wrap your arms around his neck, effectively knocking the two of you off the couch and onto the floor. He lands first with you, landing right on top of him. You might have hurt your knee upon landing, but it will be fine.

“Done! Like completely done?” You ask, looking down at him.

“Well, like 98 percent done,” he said, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. “ Do you remember the two men from Darling Media that you met?” he asks, and you nod your head, yes. “We have a meeting with them next week to work out a contract for promotional stuff. Then, that's it. It's done.”

“That's amazing,” you say and slide off him, sitting on the floor.

“You don't seem happy. What's wrong?” he asks, coming to sit next to you.

“I'm really happy,” you tell him. “It's just I know that you will probably have another album to work on right after, and we will be right back in the same place.”

“I promised you that I would try harder to make time for you….for us,” he said, lightly grabbing your face and making you look at him. “Jungkook has been doing amazingly well. He will be able to shoulder a lot more responsibility. Also, we are in talks to hire another producer. Things are going to get better.”

“Does that mean you are going to be home tonight?” You ask him and stare down at your hands. Yoongi tilts your chin up and kisses you firmly on the mouth.

“I’m going to take a super quick shower and change,” Yoongi informs you. “I have to go back in to finalize some things, but I WILL be home tonight.” You nod your head and give him a small smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you tell him.

You get back on the couch as Yoongi heads for the shower. Lying back down, you smile to yourself. You felt as though a huge weight lifted off your shoulders, knowing that he had taken some initiative with the wedding. You haven't even had time to think about the honeymoon, but he has. It makes you feel giddy thinking about where you were going to go. Knowing him, it's probably going to be somewhere private with very few people around. That was perfectly fine with you. You just wanted to be with him, whether it be somewhere tropical or holed up in your apartment.

You hear Yoongi exit the bathroom after a few minutes of being lost in your thoughts, and you turn back to the endless pages of shoes on your phone. Would lace flats be too much? Maybe they should be a solid color instead. You chew on your bottom lip, and you go to the next page on the website.

“Baby,” Yoongi calls out from the bedroom. “What is this box in the closet?”

Box? What is he talking about? Your eyes suddenly widen in realization and sprint off the couch and make your way to the bedroom as quickly as you can. You see Yoongi unlatching the black latches on the damn red chest holding the unmentionable items and opening the lid.

“No,” you squeak out and jump on his back, but it is too late.

“Baaabyyy,” he said in awe as his eyes took in Lisa's gifts. “Holy shit is that a tentacle?” He grabs that pink and purple textured object, staring at you, mouth completely agape. He picks up the black leather cuffs next and smirks at you before moving them to the side. He reaches in further to pick up a small box that you didn't see before. Yoongi opens it and makes a choking sound as he pulls out a chain with something dangling off the ends. “Baby,” he said breathlessly.

“I don't even know what that is,” you say, hiding your face. “I didn't buy any of this.”

“I will send Lisa a thank you card,” Yoongi said as he held the chain in front of your face, and his eyes flicker to your chest as he licks his lips. “They’re nipple clamps.” You gasp and cover your chest with your hands. Your face turns beet red.

“Put them back,” you squeak.

“Why are you embarrassed?” he asks. “We are going to be married. It's good to be open about these things. I know I enjoyed playing around last time.”

“You did?” you ask in a small quiet voice.

“Yeah,” he assured you. “If it makes you uncomfortable, then we don't use anything. If you want to experiment, then I will fully support you.”

You smack him lightly on the chest. He just chuckles and places the clamps back in their case and closes the lid. He doesn't, however, put them back in the chest that was once hidden. You lift an eyebrow at him, and he gets up and places them on his bedside table.

“Just in case,” he says with a smirk.

You take a deep breath and slowly release it as you watch him get dressed. You felt like you could finally breathe. It wasn't a breath riddle with anxiety and worry. It was smooth and easy. You just hope that it stays that way.

Tagged Readers:

@mggv97 , @granataepfelchen, @kam9404, @svnbangtansworld , @futuristicenemychaos, @notarshia, @busanbby-jjk

[shiuefha]

We got tricked.😅

So, the focus in chapter 91 is Millie, and now we know her full name, Millie Myers... We also get to see Melinda who unexpectedly came to the veteran event.

Yeah, usually we see Millie as someone who just talked about her boyfriend, protesting about Yor boarding the cruise ship in the cruise arc... She usually didn't share about her family, but now, here she is, talking about her deceased father and blaming Donovan about the war.

Speaking of Donovan Desmond, now it's revealed that the former prime minister who started the war at the beginning wasn't him, but it was the prime minister before him. Even so, the war happened mostly when he was the prime minister, so like what Melinda said in the chapter, it was logical for Millie to blame Donovan like that.

Overall, this chapter is okay, but there's something that bugs me here, especially from the fact that all of Yor's coworkers are totally not aware that it's possible for Yor to know about Melinda. Well, I can accept if it's just about Millie, Camilla, or even Dominic, but... Sharon?

Or maybe her son doesn't care at all about Eden students who aren't his classmates, so Sharon herself isn't aware that Anya and Damian are classmates, hmm...

However, now I wonder if we'll have anyone's backstory or not in the next chapter... Things are getting mysterious for me now...

[wild-at-mind]

In all seriousness, when I was in my 20s I spent way too much time reading tumblr and trying to figure out the right opinions to have on everything. It was pretty soul destroying now that I look back.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Sanders Sides is really annoying (affectionate?) to me bc when we talk about 'canon' most people in the conversation are all going to have different ideas of what 'canon' is from each other. For example, for me (and I'm making this post bc I wanted to clarify what I in particular am talking about when I talk about canon) canon is the mainline canon videos, asides (and videos that were previously asides) as well as other dedicated videos (such as the grwm) are supplementary but not canon, and nothing else is canon. But then there are people who take clarifying tweets as canon. And that's fine! It just makes it a little confusing when people are talking about 'canon' but everyone is talking about a different range of information.

Like I'll personally admit I'm a little snobby about what I consider canon. I'm the type if person that thinks if the creator wants something to be canon, it should be stated, implied, or possible to extrapolate from the canon work. For example with Dungeon Meshi, I don't take Daydream Hour as canon information, but rather supplementary. (Not that I need to bc Ryoko Kui does put everything you need to know into the manga, seriously if you haven't read it, I can't recommend it enough.) But there are some people who do. And that's ok! I also don't take her tweets or interviews as canon. This is a general rule I have in what I take as canon across all fandoms.

And I think I've not been clear enough about what I mean by 'supplementary' and I mean like, for example in Ace Attorney I am again, a total snob, and I only count canon as AA 1-4 and AAI 1&2 and this is not an incredibly unpopular opinion but it's still... y'know. Not considering 2 main line games canon. And there are loads of reasons for that which we don't have time for in this post bc we're not actually talking about Ace Attorney, so to get to my actual point. I don't consider the audio drama CDs to be 'canon' but you bet your ass Mikeko is showing up in my fics (a CD only pet cat for Apollo) and I also just stated I don't view AA5 as canon, or at least the same canon (it's complicated) but I love playing around with Clay's concept and several of the other characters from 5+6. I'm just not talking about them when I'm talking strictly about canon.

Idk if I explained that well enough (and if I didn't, please ask me to clarify). I just feel like everyone should have access to the information that I am a snob with unpopular opinions and I love you even if you're less of a snob than me. In fact that would probably be a plus. You DO NOT have to agree with me, I love when people have their own opinions, 'it takes all sorts' and all that, yeah? I just wanted to clarify what I'm talking about when I mention canon.

[humanmorph]

PALISADE 18 SPOILERS

the next saddest thing about baldwin home getting shot aside from. The whole situation. is that it cuts Austin off from doing more intros with him when they were sooooooo fucking good

Like I had this on repeat the other day (thank you FatT fans who make AMVs your service is invaluable)

[noxtivagus]

hflaksdjflsdkhf

[angel---eater]

I love being the only not-cis person in group therapy, btw. Love it. I tried to bring up how dysphoria is contributing to my difficulty with mood regulation and like, absolutely no one in that call understood wtf I was talking about, lol. That weird, pervasive gendering of Cluster B happened last session though, and it was viscerally uncomfortable on my end, but everyone else in the fuckin' Google Meets room or whatever just nodded in understanding like that shit was scientific fact. Like it got fully bioessentialist up in there for a minute. Cis people are so fuckin' weird.

[tearlessrain]

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

[theburiedgay]

The amazing d+d campaign of the last 2 semesters is over, I feel like all our characters got the endings they wanted, I'm really really going to miss the DM and I told the other players I'll DM a campaign next semester we'll see who actually joins, and, and, and, and, well, I'm going to keep in touch with the um player who was um playing the character who um my character ended up together with um.

[arcane-strangeness]

[nochepsicodelica]

"All those drinks are gonna do you dirty, ma. You're gonna throw up if you don't get some food in your system, so eat," Toji says, pushing the box closer to you.

You giggle at his serious face, before standing up from your chair for the fourth time, trying to go around him. Toji's used to this by now and stands up, bringing you back down to your chair.

"Stop getting up and eat your food. You literally begged for this. Why aren't you eating it?"

"Why aren't you eating it?" You return, raising your brows at him, seductively. It doesn't come off too sexy when raising your eyebrows makes you immediately squint because of the light going into your sensitive eyes, but it does lure a chuckle out of Toji.

"I'm ignoring that. Just eat. I don't wanna hear you upchucking in a couple hours."

"You won't hold my hair back?" You pout. Your feigned little flash of sadness produces real tears in this state, so it's a little confusing for Toji when you start giggling while wiping at your reddened cheeks.

"Your food's getting cold. I know how you are about reheating fast food, so eat it before it goes to waste."

You smile at him, your eyelids almost completely shut in your drunken daze. Toji can't even lie, it's cute. It's the only reason he's not up the wall about this little situation. Then you decide to drop a bomb on him.

"I'm not hungry anymore. Too tired to eat." You rest your chin on your palm, shutting your eyes. It feels nice. It would take less than thirty seconds for you to fall asleep.

Fuck. Think, think, think...

"Hey." Toji pokes your forehead, lightly, earning a hum and a furrow of your brows. "What if I feed you?"

You laugh, giddily. "Ooo, you trying to romance me?"

"Sure, if you eat."

You laugh again. "Toji, you dog, you. I'm not putting out." You shake your head, eyes closed with a dumb grin on your face. "No, sir. It's food and then goodnight for me."

"You already put out for me, earlier, doll." He smirks at the way you blush, clearly having an 'oh, yeah...' moment. "Eat some more so we can go to sleep."

"Hm?" You hum, rolling your eyes open after your blink of sleep. You crack a grin as soon as you look at Toji. "You wanna kiss me sooo bad. Look at you."

"I'm not gonna kiss you. You're not listening. You think you deserve kisses for that?"

"Uh... yes? I mean no. Pshhh, nooo. Of course, not."

"That's right. So eat, or you'll go to sleep without kisses, tonight."

"Noooo," you whine, dramatically. "Wait! Fine, fine. Look." You take a huge bite of your sandwich, your cheeks puffing up as you chew. "Oh, this is really good," you say, muffled by your mouthful of food.

"Don't choke, doll. Small bites are fine," he says, picking up a napkin and wiping the excess condiments off your face.

You push through it and gulp down the bite. "That was a lot. Got bread stuck on the roof of my mouth." You take a sip of your drink to wash it all down. "Did I look so pretty for the party, today?" You ask, your lips curling as you put the cup back down.

"You did, mama. Stunning. Swept everyone there, off their feet."

You smile, the gesture transitioning into a giggle. "Even Shiu?"

"Yup. Even Shiu said he wanted a piece of you."

You gasp. "No... Did you fight him?"

"Nah, I wanted to, but I kept my cool. If he had put his hands on you, then I might have, but I had my eye on you all night, to make sure nobody did more than look at you."

"I wouldn't have followed him anywhere, anyway." You roll your eyes, suddenly so hostile against the host of the party. "Probably would've kicked him in the nuts and gone to find you."

"Yeah, that's a smart idea, doll."

Toji's elaborate answers to your questions kept you awake long enough for you to mindlessly eat while he talked. You were at the end of the sandwich when you realized how much you had eaten and how full you were.

"Can't... do it..." You groan, lying on the arm you have extended on the table. "Too full." You sigh, heavily, setting the rest of the sandwich down on the scattered fries in its box.

"That's good, ma. You don't have to eat it, anymore. We can go to bed, now."

You let out another heavy sigh, sluggishness washing over you before you force yourself to stand up from your chair, this time with Toji's 'okay'. He looks at your little belly as it protrudes from your dress, proof of how full you actually are, and pokes at it. Your usually soft tummy is temporarily stiff and it's adorable.

You grab Toji's hand so that you don't stumble as you walk. Before leaving the table, he finished the remainder of your sandwich in one bite and threw out the container with the remaining cold fries.

"Damn, you were right, baby. That was good."

"Mhm," you mumble, waiting for him to lead you to the room.

Toji helped you brush your teeth and wash your face, and when you finally made it to the room, he helped you dress down into comfier clothes. Now, you're in bed together and you're in his arms trying to doze off, but you can't with the way he's smothering your face with kisses. It's just kiss after kiss with him and you can't focus, but It is what you wanted. After all, you stuffed your face for this.