#don't take this seriously

[aro-in-danyl]

During an Overlord Meeting

Random Overlord: So how'd you bag the King of Hell?

Alastor: Well I-

Lucifer: The first time we met he told me to go fuck myself and dropped a piano on my head

Other Overlords: ...

Lucifer: I've been charmed by his audacity ever since

[madrone33]

Number 1 Rule of adapting the Odyssey into EPIC is: if it can be more dramatic, it will be more dramatic.

The Greeks decide to throw the infant Trojan prince from the walls because they're scared he'll try to avenge his family? No, Zeus comes down to personally give Odysseus a vision of being killed and says his family WILL die. Kill the baby that reminds you of your son right now, it's the gods will.

Odysseus goes to greet the inhabitants of an island and gets trapped in a cave for two days by the cyclops that's eating his men one by one? Nope, we got BOSS BATTLE 30v1 in the Ithacans' favour until BAM fourteen pancakes are made by Polyphemus' club and oh shit Polites is DEAD-

Athena is just vaugely absent for the whole journey until the end? We got emotionally charged platonic breakups instead, with yelling and insults and "well I'm breaking up with you FIRST!"

Smooth sailing to Ithaca? STOOOORM-

Odysseus' great-great-great-grandfather giving him a speed boost to help him on his way home? Get ready for trickster wind gods, mischievous winions, and a game that was rigged from the start.

Random-ass suspicious and greedy crew mates open the bag? It's Eurylochus, his second in command, his brother-in-law, the man he trusted, Eurylochus WHYYY

Parking in the wrong harbour and getting boulders thrown at the fleet by angry man-eating giants while Odysseus backs away veeery slowly? Nah Poseidon himself pulls up to dunk on them, and Odysseus has to make a last minute getaway using the power of STOOORM to avoid being curbstomped like his fleet.

Odysseus gets some stronger drugs from a god to make him immune to the other drugs of a goddess? Well these drugs actually give him magic powers which he uses to engage in a Pokémon/Yu-Gi-Oh style BOSS BATTLE!

Get some closure with dead loved ones and acquaintances, and be the first interviewer of the fallen heroes of past ages? Nope, we just got TRAUMA and a whole boatload of guilt!

A neat outline of what the rest of the journey will look like, a warning against an island of cows that will slow him down, and the way to appease Poseidon? This Tiresias just says "Y'know there used to be a world where you made it home, BUT I DON'T SEE IT NO MORE. IT'S GONE. IT'S OVER. Also, your palace is fucked."

Sailing past the sirens while getting to be the first mortal to hear their song and live? M U R D E R

Sailing past Scylla to avoid Charybdis and accidentally getting six men eaten because he thought he could totally take Scylla, even though Circe said he couldn't, and then he realised he, in fact, cannot take Scylla? ... Eurylochus, light up six torches.

Eurylochus waits till Odysseus is out hunting and then goes behind his back to mutinously rally the crew and feast on some sacred cattle? Betrayal on both sides, stabby stab, K.O., and then Odysseus helplessly watches them make the greatest mistake of their lives as they ignore his pleas.

Quick clean and easy lightning-strike to the ship, leaving Odysseus to cling to some driftwood and paddle away? Zeus himself appears to the mortals, monologues, makes Odysseus be the one to choose, and then smites the whole ship leaving Odysseus to nearly drown anyway.

Telemachus gets advice from a disguised Athena to yell at the suitors and then sail away to look for news of his missing father? Telemachus gets into a full on beatdown with the suitors and gets FIGHT CLUB TRAINING from Athena!

Athena goes "dad I want my favourite mortal back? Did you forget about him? I think you forgot about him" and Zeus instantly replies "nonsense. How could I have forgotten that funny little mortal? Of course you can have him back my sweet favoured child <3" and then Athena skips off to Ithaca? "Father please-" "LIGHTNING BOLT! ANOTHER LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT TO THE FACE HOW DARE YOU ASK ME OF SUCH A THING!"

Poseidon does a double take "wait they let him go?? Oh hell nah!" and then sends a giant fuck off storm for Odysseus to swim through until he reaches the Phaeacians? No, Poseidon's just been there on Ithaca's shores, waiting for eight years, now get in the water BITCH- except Odysseus is just like "oh yeah? Fucking FIGHT ME"

You thought the suitors in the Odyssey were bad? Jorge really just said "dial that shit up to ELEVEN"

[twinkling-moonlillie]

Just imagining Keigo fussing and pampering over you, never letting you lift a finger.

If you get hungry? Keigo is already up and getting you something to eat.

If you feel sad? He peppers your face with kisses until your lungs burst from laughter.

He's the type of boyfriend who lightly scolds you for not drinking enough water before holding a water bottle to your lips and telling you to say "Ah~"

He coos while shampooing your hair in the shower, loving the way you lean in even closer to him under the spray of warm water.

He loves wrapping you - his precious baby - in his wings in bed so that the cold doesn't dare to touch you.

[sparklingjay]

You know how your pupils dilate when you are attracted to someone?

So here is proof that Sonic is attracted to Shadow:

👀

This is a joke, btw

[thegreatgremlingang]

broke: Jiang fengmian thirsted after cangse sanren and took in wei ying bc he was cangse sanren's child

woke: Jiang fengmian was literally just good friends with cangse sanren

BESPOKE: Jiang fengmian and cangse sanren formed the Wei Changze simp club so they could collectively thirst after wei changze and jiang fengmian took in wei ying bc he was WEI CHANGZE (and his homie cangse sanren)'s child

[hisbucky]

Eddie: You'll have a hard time believing this because it never happens - but I made a mistake. Buck: Not to be rude or anything, but I don't have a hard time believing that at all. Eddie: Hey, I'm not the one who always gets reprimanded at work! Buck, side-eye: And I'm not the one who made our son run away from home. Twice. Eddie: *surprised pikachu face* Buck: I believe that is my win, thank you.

[oatmealdaydreams]

The Stan Twins: *fighting over Fiddleford*

Fiddleford: Y'know, I have two hands, right?

[deezbrothersgay]

I remember I was FLABBERGASTED when it was revealed that JOHN MF WINCHESTER produced ANOTHER... WINCHESTER? WITH SOME OTHER WOMAN?

I was like oof. That's it. Now they're three brothers. Cuz they value the brotherly bond and shit.

But Sam and Dean didn't really give a fuck much? Like yeah, dad's betrayal, yada yada, but whaaaat? Dean would kill for his Sammy because he's his little brother. Okay. Reasonable. What about Adam though? He's your brother too. Oooooh I get it, it's because you have ROMANTIC FEELINGS for SAM.

CAUGHT U.

[lonelyslutavatar]

There is exactly one entry in the Martin Blackwood/Mr Bonzo tag. This is unacceptably low.

[petitepatateuwu]

It's way too hot and I am way too tired to do any more efforts, so excuse the critical lack of quality here.

If you didn't know, Cole is my favourite Power Ranger :D

And while I was binge watching Ninjago I had the pleasant surprise to see him physically and mentally traumatized in season 5 😈

And since I'm a huge sucker for angst, my brain immediately thought of developing that idea in order to hurt my beautiful baby boy some more. That and also the fact that my brain immediately looks for logic in the laws of cartoon physics (I really shouldn't do that...)

So I bring you the "Cole is a Ghost Kind-of-Saga". I still have a few more ideas to exploit, notably adressing the ways the other ninjas will help him cope with his new condition :3

And maaaaybeeeee a small comic too 😇

Anyways, I will let my brain rest a bit for now and sleep.

[saintofdaggers]

Jeffrey Combs fancam. because this is where I reside now, apparently.

update: now on my Youtube channel

[azucarera-art]

dunmer oc

[lotsofblabblers]

Imagine being a seventeen or eighteen year old Anya that can't date a boy because her father thinks he is a C+ in his intel list order 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[lightningchu-the-mega-raichu]

The take that Bill is faking his tragic backstory is SO DUMB OH MY GOD

Not only did he literally lie and tell us he HAS NO TRAGIC BACKSTORY (so if he doesn't he'd be telling the truth and NOT manipulating us), but also he's always trying to be cool and powerful and above it all. He doesn't want pity.

ALSO MULTIPLE OTHER SOURCES BACK UP THE TRAGIC BACKSTORY (Time baby, the police report, the Axolotl, Theraprism, the computer on the website) like if you don't believe him, at least believe the other sources.

Also, they act so superior like they're so smart for not believing him and we're dumb for falling for his manipulation. Like no, honey...

[karimationkat]

I JUST REALISED SOMETHING FUNNY

All MT/KO wanted was to know where the CG is

"Hello, I know them"

*Waiting for Purple to give him the info*

AND THEN PURPLE SHOWS OFF ALL THEIR SKILLS AS IF IT'S AN INTERVIEW FOR THE JOB APPLICATION AS AN EVIL SIDE-KICK

"Eeerghhhhhhhh, fine, accepted"

[torqxx]

their silly vibes have captivated me