#don't take this pun away from me. it's my emotional support pun.

[canonical-transformation]

I get why Ayato/Chiori took off last patch: yes queen, peg the smirk off that man's face! (It won't work, the smirk is glued on, but at least you can get noises out of him.) But I'm really hoping 4.5 gives enough material to make Ayaka/Chiori friends-to-distant-acquaintances-to-lovers start trending, because it's so yuri. As a concept.

[tamby-teeze]

Okay, so I know a solid 40% of the new Fantasy High was about Tracker "There's still deep attraction here" O'Shaughnessy, but HERE ME OUT

Gertie Bladeshield is the perfect woman for Kristen Applebees.

Cause, like, look, there was a lot of talk in episode 11 about impulsivity and chaos as an aspect of Kristen's character, mainly in how it's mirrored in Princess "Kristen if she had money" Naradriel, but it's also been a general focus this season, especially in how she often uses it to guard her emotions. Think back to "That's what you think", an incredible improv moment, but if you look at the big picture, Kristen's estranged parents make an incredibly inflammatory statement about her religion right after actively bullying her little brother, and instead of honoring any of the actual negative emotions she's being filled with in that moment, she pirouettes away. It's brought up in the adventuring party after this exact episode how Kristen is a cleric, a high-wisdom class that is naturally insightful, but uses these silly deflections to hold other people back from being insightful into her (hence Mac & Donna's lifetime insight disadvantage)

This isn't just limited to small moments, too. To take a broader look at the season so far, Kristen's chaotic, shrimp-jumping, wrangler-wearing, salsa-dipping, middle-school-campaigning, steel-workers-union-supporting bid for class president is often shown explicitly as a distraction from her existentially important job as the only cleric of Cassandra. Even when trying to earnestly apologize to Cassandra and prove to them that she's gonna prioritize her over class presidency, the only way she can articulate it is "You're the meat, mama." Her emotions are always guarded by some amount of chaos and impulsivity.

Now, how does that relate to Gertie "I've had a crush on you for a really long time" Bladeshield?

In both of the two scenes we've gotten of The Best D20 NPC (/j (but I do really like her)), Gertie has shown a pretty similar propensity for making bold, chaotic decisions in the heat of the moment. However, in my observation, these decisions do NOT come from a place of emotional suppression. Quite the opposite, actually.

Think back to her Grand Entrance into the narrative. Gertie, being one of the last people awake at Fabian's party, gifts her longtime-crush a jar of honey, something that connects directly to her passion/special-interest of beekeeping, in a homemade container designed as a pun on Kristen's last name. (in hindsight, the crush was very obvious) Then, in the middle of her infodumping to her about honey, Kristen's rich friend makes an incredibly dismissive remark about her good-natured gift. This obviously pisses her off, but unlike Kristen "That's what you think" Applebees, Gertie "I don't give a shit who's kid you are" Bladeshield lets herself feel those emotions very loudly, immediately starts a duel with possibly one of the most accomplished sword-fighters in the history of Aguefort, and declares him a life-long nemesis. She acts very brashly and impulsively, but in a way that doesn't hide her emotions, instead expressing them.

(I know there's a lot of talk about outbursts of anger being tied to Ankarna, but not only does the scene not really seem like foreshadowing to me, it's more interesting to see it through the lens of being Gertie's actual actions)

This trend continues with the 12th most noteworthy thing to have happened in episode 11 (which incredibly high acclaim), where after being explicitly asked to talk about bees by her crush, and being placed inches away from her face, kisses her on the lips. Now, excusing the albeit upsetting lack of consent, it once again shows Gertie acting very impulsively in a way that exposes her feelings to the people she likes. With these two instances of characterization being literally the only two scenes we get with her, it poses her as a very interesting parallel to Kristen, someone who shares in her willingness to make impulsive decisions, but differs wildly from her in the way she uses them to react to strong emotions.

However, does this really make Gertie the Autism to her ADHD?

(idk if Gertie really shows autistic traits, I just wanted to say that) Well, part of what Tracker a good companion for Kristen was that, as a fellow cleric, she naturally had very high wisdom, meaning she had enough insight to look past the layers of shrimp and salsa and engage with her on a deep level. However, clerics aren't the only class that cast spells with wisdom, so do rangers, including swarm-keeper rangers, which is a subclass that both has a good few abilities focused on spell-casting and was confirmed to be Gertie's subclass in an adventuring party. While her highest stat still could be dex (which, come to think of it, is a hilarious contrast to Kristen), there's no doubt that Gertie has a higher chance than most at being able to look past Kristen's barriers and see the complex hive of sweet, buzzing emotions underneath.

Hell, maybe that's where Gertie's crush comes from in the first place. Maybe, seeing this popular, proudly sapphic cleric be incredibly playful and chaotic on school grounds, she not only saw a bit of herself, but a little more. Perhaps, the type of mind that dedicates itself to allowing small, harmless critters to prosper even when no-one cares to join her club, is also the type of mind able to recognize when someone isn't allowing their truest emotions to prosper, making her wonder if they might have something to gain from sharing some of that chaos, using it not to hide, but to be free.

Or maybe it's just cause her last name has "bees" in it, idk.

[jeonqkooks]

kyoho | ksj

You love your grape boy, and your grape boy... well, he might just love you a little too much.

pairing: seokjin x f!reader

rating: pg13

genre/warnings: established relationship, swearing bc when is there no swearing in my fics, mentions of seggs, suggestive themes, fluff, crack?? idk, my brand of fics is Unedited y'all know that's how we roll

word count: 1.8k

notes: i've been buying a lot of grapes lately (am i a grape person now??) and i've been eating them almost every day and of course i had to think about grape jinnie my beloved, my ultimate favorite seokjin and i want him to come back to me :((( idk that's how this lil thang came to me lmao it's the most crackhead shit i've ever written sOoOoOoOo please laugh or else ! 👿 jk but not really

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

"If you do this, we're done."

"Y/N."

"I swear, if you go through with this, we are over!"

Seokjin sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, clearly not expecting you to be so passionate about the subject at hand. "The appointment is in an hour," he says.

"Cancel it. I don't care!" you cry. "Please don't do this. Don't take him away. He means the world to me."

Your boyfriend stares at you, mouth agape, then points to his head incredulously. "Him? My hair?"

"Yes!" You crawl over to his side of the couch to straddle his lap, actual tears welling in your eyes. You run your fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft and silky it feels in your hands. His gorgeous, gorgeous purple locks. The ones he's ready to sacrifice in favor of half blond, half red hair by demand of one Jeon Jungkook.

You shouldn't be this upset over him dyeing his hair, but you are, despite knowing full well that the purple will be gone soon anyway. His dark roots are starting to show already.

It's shark week, and there are not enough words in the dictionary to express how devastated you are that he's taking away your emotional support Grape Jinnie.

A couple months ago, when he told you that he'd be dyeing his hair purple, you were highly skeptical of the decision. You didn't know if he had the face to pull off purple of all colors, even though you had already seen him sport every other color of the rainbow and absolutely rocked every single one.

The whole week leading up to his salon appointment, you teased him endlessly - started calling him Grape Boy, bought him box after box of Kyoho grapes, photoshopping Kylie Jenner's purple hair onto his head and making it your lockscreen... It was mostly just grape puns, you were really milking that whole thing.

But then he came home, hair freshly bleached and colored, and your jaw dropped to the ground and stayed there for ten whole minutes.

Your eyes almost fell out of their sockets from how good he looked.

No, he didn't just look good. He was stunning, breathtaking, mindbogglingly beautiful and all the other synonyms that one could name.

The man fucking ate and left no crumbs.

That night was one of the best sex you two have ever had.

To say that you were obsessed with this shade on him is the understatement of the year.

"Don't do it," you plead. "If you really love me, you won't do it."

"You're being so dramatic. It's just hair." Seokjin puts his hands on your waist while you keep yours on his head, clutching his strands like a lifeline. "Plus, I have to honor the bet!"

Your expression turns stony then, as your eyes travel from the silky purple down to his face. You tighten your grip on his hair and tug on it sharply until your boyfriend is scowling in discomfort.

The bet. The stupid fucking bet he made with Jungkook.

You had explicitly told him there no chance in hell that he could win, but Seokjin could be an overly confident asshole sometimes.

He was in way over his head, and now you're the one suffering.

"You idiot," you hiss, pulling on his hair again, "why the fuck did you think you could do more pushups than Jungkook?"

"I don't know! We were tipsy and it seemed possible at the time!"

Releasing his hair, you tuck your face into the crook of his neck and inhale deeply.

"Why am I being punished for your actions?" you mumble against his skin, then you ask, voice full of futile hope. "What if you just... don't do it?"

"Then I have to buy him a new mattress. He cut his mattress with scissors to make it fit into his bed frame and now it's all fucked up."

You give yourself a minute to think. There has to be a solution to your distress. You just gotta think. Think, brain, think!

And then you remember. Seokjin is still a man.

You lean back to look at him properly, straightening your position on his lap. You give him your biggest puppy dog eyes before you say, "I promise I will blow you every day from now on if you keep the hair."

If he was drinking water, you're fairly certain that he would've choked. Your boyfriend's eyes widen in surprise, his skin turning a dozen shades warmer, blushing from his cheeks all the way to the top of his ears.

Bingo.

"What?" he asks, like this is something so scandalous.

You lean forward to pepper kisses all over his face, putting more weight on your offer. "I promise," you say, pecking his cute cheek, "to blow you," then his forehead, "every single day," then his nose, "from now on," and finally his lips.

You linger near his mouth, not pulling away just yet. Your lips brush against his once more until you feel his hands tighten on your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck to hold him closer as you press forward, giving him a proper kiss to seal the deal.

Seokjin practically melts underneath you. Victory is so close that you can taste it. You're doing this for the greater good of mankind, for Grape Jinnie. Jungkook can fuck off with his half seasoned, half fried bullshit.

But then, Seokjin abruptly rips away from you to shriek, nearly blowing your eardrums out. The suddenness of his movements almost make you tumble off the couch.

"No, don't try to tempt me! Mattresses are expensive as fuck!"

It's been a few hours. He should be back any minute now.

Ever since Seokjin left to go to his hair appointment after having to peel you off of him because you were clinging to his body like a goddamn koala, you've been wallowing in your misery. You even busted out the big guns - Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream (with real peanut butter cups!) - to help you through this difficult time.

You're in full grieving mode now. Goddamnit. Fate is a cruel mistress.

Or in this case, Jungkook. Jungkook is a cruel mistress. That fucking guy.

When you hear the door open and the subsequent clanging of Seokjin's keys as he hangs them on one of the hooks in the entryway, you prepare to give him the biggest pout you can manage.

But then, he comes into view a few seconds later, and you gasp. You actually gasp. Before he knows what's happening, you're rising from the couch and sprinting toward him, launching into his arms with the biggest smile on your face like a kid on Christmas morning.

"You're still a grape!" you squeal joyously.

Seokjin lets out a surprise Oof! at the sudden force of your body knocking the breath out of him.

"What a warm welcome," he mutters. "I don't think you've ever been this happy to see me."

"What happened?!" you ask, eyes wide, grin even wider. "Did you change your mind because you love me so much?"

You run your hands through his hair to make sure that it's real, that you're not hallucinating this because you just love the purple so goddamn much.

And it is! It's still here! His hair is still that luscious shade of purple that you adore with your entire being.

Seokjin eyes you for a moment before he says, "I compromised with Jungkook. Did something else instead."

"What did you do?"

"I got a tattoo."

"You what?!"

"He said I wouldn't have to dye my hair if I got a tattoo of his choosing."

"Oh, no," you try to sound sympathetic but fail miserably. You cover your mouth with your hand to hide your smile, already sensing the absolute crackhead chaos that will ensue in a matter of minutes. Having been friends with Jungkook for years, you know that dude comes up with the craziest shit sometimes.

Seokjin turns around and pulls up his shirt, and you almost die from the fit of ugly snorting laughter that immediately rips itself free from your mouth. His skin underneath the transparent cling film is still slightly red, but the letters adorning the expanse of his lower back is clear as day.

You cannot find it in yourself to blink, not when the black ink is just staring at you like that. The font, so formal and classic, and yet the content of it... what a contrast.

"Kim Seokjin!" you wheeze, wiping tears from your eyes and struggling to catch your breath. "How could you possibly think that this is a better idea than to just dye your hair!"

"You begged me to keep the hair!"

"I did," you agree, clutching your stomach as giggles continue wracking through your whole body. It's almost painful at this point. "But I don't want my boyfriend to have a tramp stamp that says fucking Chicken in Times New Roman!"

"It was either this," he says, turning back to face you, "or a sketch of his head on a chicken's body."

"What is up with him and chickens? Is that his new thing now?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Well, thank you for doing that for me," you say appreciatively as you pull him in for a kiss, which isn't very graceful because you're still tittering the whole time. "But please tell me that's not permanent."

Seokjin stays quiet, his eyes dropping to the floor, and you stop laughing immediately.

"Oh my god," you say. "Is the Chicken tramp stamp permanent?!"

"No," he finally admits after a moment of hanging it over your head. As funny as the whole thing is, you do not want the love of your life to walk around sporting the most ridiculous tattoo in human history. "It's supposed to fade after a month."

You lean into him again, heaving a giant sigh of relief and wrapping your arms around his neck. One of your hands go for his hair again, weaving through the soft locks with your fingers because how could you not? "I love you, Grape," you say, pecking his cheek with a grin.

Seokjin rolls his eyes affectionately, but returns a peck to your own cheek. "I have a tramp stamp of the word Chicken and my parents might disown me for that, but at least you get to keep your Grape Boy," he says, making you giggle again.

"Because you love me so much, right?"

"Hmm. You're lucky I do."

You give him another kiss, one full of gratitude, for indulging your antics. When you move to return to the couch, Seokjin tugs on your wrist, pulling you back into him.

"Now correct me if I'm wrong," he says, acting all coy and shit, "but I recall you making me a promise earlier, no? What was it again?"

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.04.2023]

[lucabyte]

any thoughts about postcanon loop and mira relationship? i dont think i saw much about it in text posts but it looks like you might have something. bats eyelashes

okay i have rambled about this in a few places in mostly privately and in the tags of my own posts and self-reblogs but. grabs your shoulders. can you fucking imagine how funny loop would be as mira's beard. hear me out.

like. i'm already here for isiloops. im also already here for miraloop and mirasif qpr. im also here for miraisa qpr. im also not a coward who thinks odile should be excluded from this but thats besides the point. what im saying is that the whole things a fucking polycule and there's yet still ways this could be made way, way funnier.

So. It's obvious that Loop's theatrics are more than a bit of a facade. (They drop them when taken off-guard or in serious moments with Siffrin, and Isabeau remarks on them seeming 'shy' at the end)

But we also know that they aren't *that* much of a facade due to their speech patterns being directly reflected in act 4-5 sif's inner monologue. It's clear that Loop's regular goofy bullshit is just the manic end of Sif's emotional state unfiltered and externalised, presumably because they went fucking insane.

So while I imagine they'd probably be slightly more toned down with the party in postcanon, I don't imagine the bonus confidence that comes with Constantly Performing like that would just like... go away? Plus, new identity means you've got no expectations to be held against so... I think it would make sense for them to keep up the theatrics, the bitchiness, the change in humour from dumb puns to sharp and cruel wit.

So the idea of them proposing to Mirabelle that they could just, *pretend* to be dating isn't out of scope, to me. In a situation where she's perhaps fretting about keeping up appearences as an ever-changing housemaiden, or has heard through the grape vine that someone is going to try and make a move on her at a formal gathering, I think Loop offering to theatrically play up being her partner 'as a joke', so that they can offer her support and comfort while still under that arm's-length plausible deniability, sidestepping the emotional vulnerability of 'feelings buddies'.

(Remember, after all, that Act 6 Mirabelle's 'no spoilers' policy means she only got Act 5 Sif's fucked up little talk? There's genuine question as to how long it could take her to unpack things again after that. She probably still feels that social pressure even in a scenario where she has something again to the regular friendquest talk again, anyway...)

It lets them be 'in on a joke' together, and also gives Loop an excuse to hold hands with their friends that doesn't require they be honest about things. ("Well there's the thing, Housemaiden! I've no mouth to kiss, so we don't even have to do gross things like that to keep up appearences!") And thus gives Loop a niche in the party to slot into that otherwise probably wouldn't be filled by anyone.

And would anybody question it? The chosen saviour of the country has a weird little ethereal freak on their arm. That sounds about right for a magical saviour, and means there's really no need for any explanation for why they seemingly only showed up after The King's defeat. They're clearly Mirabelle's spirit guide, or something.

. anyway as with all things loop feel free to place this after everyone knows who they are for this to become a "relatively normal thing that can happen",

or you can place it before everyone knows who they are for the added twist-of-the-knife that is "guilt over keeping secrets" and "a really awkward and potentially upsetting recontextualisation later on"

also in case you havent seen . images related -> (x) (x)

[glasswinggames]

How well would the Ever After interests take care of you when you're sick?

I've been unwell this past week so may or may not have spent far too much time both wasting away but also figuring out who would be absolutely useless at taking care of me 😂😅

In order of best to worse:

Farren - My love, the one who can do no wrong, not only would you get cuddles from Orion to keep you warm, but she knows all the best witchy remedies, so she would be calm and know what to do and you'd be assured you were in the safest hands. Whilst the medicine is doing its magic, she and her family of skellies would be fussing over you and making you food and keeping you hydrated.

Noah - He panics when you fall ill, especially if his healing magic doesn't work for whatever reason, but he tries his best to keep a cool head. He would wait on you, hand and foot, cooking whatever you need and just being there for emotional support. When you'd sleep, he would run out to buy literally one of every medicine just in case, as well as something sweet for you to take with it, as a little treat.

Il - He has never been sick himself, but he has looked after Zephyr far too many times when he's been sick. He'd think you were the most pleasant sick person in comparison because Zeph constantly complains and makes a fuss. He's a bit clumsy with it, especially if it's not something he's had experience with for his brother, but he'd learn quickly for you. He'd also struggle leaving you out of his sight, but he'd convince you to let him stay and sing to you until you fall asleep.

Eos - Surprisingly high on the list, but you have to remember they have raised half of the orphans and abandoned kids in the city, and as such has had to learn how to nurse them to health. Still, unlike the ones above they aren't as soft and gentle, and definitely more strict about taking medicine and resting, and won't hesitate to get annoyed if you don't listen to them, but still, it's only cause they're worried. You'd wake up to find them sleeping on the chair in the corner after trying to stay up to make sure you were okay, but if you called them out on it they would deny it to the end of the planet.

Oliver - Whilst I haven't shown you the resident journalist, potential partner to you and Jed, he gets a mention as a slightly above average caregiver. He knows basic first aid and how to look after a sick person, so you'd be fine overall, but if the illness didn't take you out then his incessant puns and jokes might just do so. In his defence humour is the best medicine. Unless you were passing out, Oliver is the type to let you make your own judgements for what you need and happy to just support where needed.

Helios - The ArchDuke has never had to look after a sick person in his life, after all, the nannies and maids do that for his sisters, and whilst he has visited them he's never actually had to do anything. Plus, when he himself gets sick, he actively denies it and pushes himself to continue working until it either passes or he passes out... so he himself might be a bit useless in taking care of you, but he'd bring the best doctors in the North to treat you. He'd come and sit with you whilst others look after you though, and he'd be a bit more amenable to any requests you have for him with his magic.

Athy - Whilst theoretically she has read enough medical books to stock a hospital, she has never actually had to put any into practice. If you got sick, she'd spend so long reading up on what it was she was meant to do and how to treat it, that you'd have either gotten yourself to a doctor, or just called for Noah and gotten actual help. She also can't cook to save her life, so it's probably for the best in the long run.

Cai - It doesn't matter how much you mean to them, they refuse to run the risk of getting sick themself. You'd tell them that you're ill and they'd be out the door before you finished your sentence. You don't see them again until a week after you've recovered and that's only after they've had a professional say you're okay.

Jed - Hahahahahahahaha he has tried to either dissect you or is trying to feed you suspicious medicine whilst saying 'trust me I'm a doctor'. Do not trust him. That man did not get a medical license.

🦋

[haphazardlyannotated]

The Locked Tomb/Steven Universe Crossover

This crossover was inspired months ago by the random thought "Hey, Pearl would definitely want to be Rose's cavalier" and hasn't left me alone since. So here you go, niche audience of one! (It's me. I am the audience)

First of all, yes, Pearl has to be Rose's cavalier. Not only does it neatly align with Pearl's knightly devotion and the institutional power imbalance they're both trying to ignore, Pearl absolutely is the kind of person who would take "my not-wife refuses to kill me and eat my soul in order to attain immortality" as a terrible rejection.

She's so insane about Rose, she'd fit right in in this universe (pun not intended). Also, the cavalier-necromancer romance taboo works excellently for Pearlrose. For one, of course, the forbidden romance. Cav!Pearl confessing to necro!Rose that she's been dreaming about running away from the Houses together to live in domestic bliss on a nice moon somewhere has the exact same vibes as su!Pearl's confession in Now We're Only Falling Apart. But more importantly, cav!Pearl giving Rose's suitors a "You may have caught her eye, but I am her cavalier; she swore an oath to me; our fates are entwined till death do us part" speech only to go to her rooms and wallow in how the very position that ensures she'll be by Rose's side forever is what will forever keep her from pursuing her true feelings is too good.

Meanwhile Rose is in the next room going "Oh woe is me, for I am a cruel, selfish woman, to keep the love of my life from the glory she deserves! Alas, I can't bear to let her go, even though I know in my heart that her care for me is only the rightful, proper care of a cavalier for her necromancer! The least I owe her is not to take advantage of our pure, sacred bond, so I shall go and drown my sorrows in another fleeting affair!"

Writer's choice whether they miraculously manage to communicate before Rose gets herself killed in one way or another, but ironically the dystopian 50% character death rate tlt verse is much more likely to give them a second chance than pastel redemption arcs su, because Steven Universe is a story about healing from trauma with the power of a supportive network of loved ones while The Locked Tomb endorses attacking the cold unfeeling universe with teeth and fingernails until it returns your girlfriend, and both of them are so valid for this.

In this case however it means, that instead of slowly healing, Pearl absolutely refuses to accept Rose's death to a Harrow and Camilla extent. Does she threaten to stab whoever takes Jod's role in this AU? Does she try to break into the Locked Tomb because to hell with the Houses, she's getting her wife back? Both? In any case, tlt rules demand that she succeeds.

Anyway, I put them in the Seventh House because roses.

As for the supporting cast:

Ruby and Sapphire are the Fifth House wholesome married couple who make Pearl and Rose stare in longing for what they cannot have.

Garnet is Paul. Obviously. Cue another, different kind of yearning for what could have been from Pearl. Poor Garnet has just come into existence. She doesn't deserve having to be everyone's emotional support already.

I struggled with figuring out a role for Amethyst for a while until it hit me: Wasn't it fun when Amethyst experienced self hatred over how the life was drained out of her planet to make her? Try being the result of two hundred child murders! Don't the inadequacy issues gain a delightful new dimension when your entire generation has been killed off in anticipation of your abilities? Guys, I think Amethyst is Harrow Nova.

I have no idea what plot has to happen for Rose to end up with Jod's baby, but that is the only role for Steven I will tolerate. And Connie is his cavalier. Obviously.

Peridot is sciency, Lapis is the quiet OP lady, and they're in a QPR. There was no way I wasn't going to make them the Sixth. HOWEVER. Due to how extremely OP Lapis is with an element manipulating power specifically. I decided that she's the necromancer and Peridot is her incredibly academically talented BFF who they're pretending is the necromancer so she can be along for the ride. This would be plot relevant if this crossover had an actual plot instead of self indulgent vibes only.

Jasper gets Judith's role. Completely loyal to the ethically dubious regime, absolutely convinced that she's the only one who is doing the right thing and everyone else is just not strong enough, ends up corrupted possessed by a Resurrection Beast.

Bismuth is a Blood of Eden commander. She would like to fist fight every single Uppercrust zombie, however, just like su!Bismuth, she is easily won over when a former Homeworld gem House zombie shows up on her planet and announces her intent to fight the Diamonds Jod and his Lyctors and/or bust into the Locked Tomb.

[oh-stars]

love your work and everything you do, so excited for the month of march fics coming up !!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ a fic a day is incredible and idk how you do it honestly 🙏🙏🙏 does this mean that hold is on hiatus for now ?

Oh thank you!!!

It was so fun doing @steddielovemonth so I'm excited to tackle Stobin Month! I don't write enough fics about them and them alone so it's been fun so far.

Hold is on a temporary hiatus. I'm aiming to get the next chapter out in April. Right now, I have so much going on, but I start a new job next week so my writing time is cutting down drastically. So I'm not able to tap into the headspace I need to write hold.

I added an update to the authors note for the last chapter, but to reiterate here: I AM NOT giving up on this story!! It's a passion project for me, but since it doesn't have a timeline or any outside pressure other than wanting to get the next chapter to you all, it has to be the first to go. I need to focus on my posting challenge, my STRBB fics, and my exchange fic (and I have a few big bangs I plan on signing up for!!) so I'll be shifting gears a little.

If I wasn't at such a pivotal moment in hold, I think I'd be able to continue writing as normal. But I have an Eddie scene and an Eleven scene to write for the next chapter that are heavier, so I need to do them the right way and not just knock it out.

Thank you all for the support and understanding!!! I'm having so much fun and feeling really fulfilled with my current writing load, so the patience about the hold situation is very appreciated!! That being said... Here's a teaser (under the cut) for the next chapter to hold everyone over (no pun intended) until I can post it:

“Hey, hey,” Steve coos, coming to a halt at the edge of her crib. He picks her up without hesitation, sending a sharp pain up his left arm as he cuddles her close. It doesn’t matter, he could care less about his pain as long as she’s okay. “You’re okay,” he says, “Daddy’s got you.” 

“Steve!” Robin huffs as she comes up beside them. “You shouldn’t be picking her up.” Whatever look he gives her must tell her everything she needs to know. She sighs and runs a hand over Charlotte’s wild dark hair. “I can hand her to you so you don’t hurt your hand,” she says softly, “let me help.” 

He presses his lips to Charlotte’s head and sways in place, shushing her. Charlotte, not Robin of course. “I know,” he tells Robin then goes back to talking to Charlotte. “We woke you up before you were ready, huh? I’m sorry, sweetpea.” He adjusts his hold on her to check her diaper, nose wrinkling. “Sure you want to help?” he asks Robin. 

“I think I can handle a dirty diaper.” 

Charlotte’s cries have stopped, but there are big tears on her cheeks and her bottom lip is pouted out as she looks up at Steve. He’d do anything for that face. 

Steve has to look away, eyes going to the bare, white ceiling as the fury comes back to him all at once. He blinks his own tears out of his eyes, all of the emotions hitting him like a goddamn train. “She left her,” Steve breathes out. “She fucking left her, Rob.” 

“She was so blasé about it too,” Robin punches out, walking away. She’s opening the drawers to grab something, closing them with force but not slamming. 

“What’s that mean?” he asks, dropping another kiss to Charlotte’s head. He drifts over to the chair they stashed in here during the move, an extra from the set his mom gave him, and sits so Charlotte’s laying against his chest. The movement emphasizes the pain and settles his heart all at once, but Charlotte’s sniffles and little noises make it worth it. 

Robin takes a moment, putting together the outfit for Charlotte. “Does she not have any dresses?” 

Steve’s brow furrows as he thinks about it. “I think she’s grown out of a few. I don’t know.” 

“I’m all for giving the bird to gender stereotypes and letting her wear boy clothes,” Robin says as she holds up the basketball onesie that doesn’t fit Charlotte anymore but Steve can’t part with, “but I don’t see any onesies with snaps that fit her and pants are going to be a nightmare for the foreseeable future.” 

Shit. 

Steve groans and adjusts Charlotte so her cast is more comfortable against him. “I didn’t even think about that.” 

“When would you have had the time?” Robin asks, closing the drawer. She’s out of the room before Steve can answer her.

[reneesbooks]

WIP Intro: Hurts, Doesn't It?

I figured it was about time I introduced the novel I'm working on for Camp Nano :)

Will's a florist, not an expert on politics, but he knows a few things: the Executive runs things from the Capitol, which was rebuilt after the Second Civil War, and eventually his son will be the Executive. He never thought about it much; he was focused on going to NYU for botany and horticulture and the Olympics for archery. But now? Now, he's in prison for smuggling forged art (which he didn't do) and all his cellmates want to talk about it how the government is horrible and the Resistance (terrorists) are actually the good guys.

Enter Kat Barrick--the girl who got Will put in prison in the first place. When she breaks him out and offers her help getting him home, he is reasonably skeptical. Despite her secrets, she is trying to help him. He'll give her a chance to get him home. But as he learns more about her world and the truth behind his history books, he begins to wonder if home is still within reach.

my baby my novel that i've been writing for years my beloved. here are the main characters (picrew used):

Will Moore: He's a florist from Jersey who did NOT sign up for any of this. that's okay, though. he's figuring it out. His favorite hobbies are archery and talking to people about flowers. He will find a way to mention the fact that he's a florist in any conversation. wants to go to the olympics but already won the himbolympics

Kat Barrick: she's an art forger who ran away from home at seventeen and supports her family by selling her paintings on the black market. yes she throws knives no you don't get to know where she learned to. not here to fuck around, just trying to get through the day. she WILL stab you if you get in her way though

Peyton Barrick: Kat's older brother and perpetually exhausted mother hen. Great public speaker but prefers to be cooking most of the time. Definitely going to trick you into being a vegetarian because he is and knows his way around a spice rack enough to convince you that you are eating pork, not eggplant. why is he a vegetarian? none of your fucking business.

Scarlett Carter: battle-worn leader of the Resistance and antique revolver enthusiast. yes it's very funny that she has a gigantic scar across her face and her name is Scarlett. mention it again and she'll show you one of those revolvers up close. these new kids are giving her grey hairs.

Hayden Stone: Scarlett's husband and the brains of the Resistance. NOT a morning person, will greet you with a shotgun if you wake him up. loves his daughter and is very sad that she decided to be a spy when he's just trying to keep her safe. thinks Will's puns are shitty and has a bet going on how long it'll take Kat to kill him.

My goal for Camp Nano has been to write 25,000 words and as of 4/11 I'm about halfway there :D

Posts tagged for this novel can be found here. A few highlights so far:

Kat and Will getting drunk and watching the news

15-question character interview of Kat and Will

Kat and Will having an Emotional Talk

Will taking a serious risk

The following excerpt is the opening scene, where Will meets Kat in his shop for the first time. let me know if you're interested in being added to the taglist for this wip! <3

I nudged the unconscious man with the bristles of the broom. “Are you dead?”

A small groan escaped. “She left me…”

“Jesus, you’re a sad drunk,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Dude, you have to make like a tree and leave.”

He mumbled something that sounded like an insult and turned over, face-down on the floor. I nudged him again with the broom, then smacked him when he didn’t move. He lurched up into a sitting position, swearing vaguely in my direction, and nearly knocked over a potted plant on a stand.

“I’m calling the cops if you don’t leave,” I said, moving towards the counter. “Whatever your deal is, it’s none of my business, but you gotta do it somewhere else.”

He grumbled and groaned but another smack with the broom had him up and stumbling out of the store. I rearranged the vases and potted plants that he’d disturbed and swept up the fallen leaves and petals.

The bell over the door rang and I turned to greet the customer. “Welcome to Lydia’s Fine Flowers, how can I help you?”

The young woman smiled, running her fingers over the head of one of the flowers near the door. “Just looking, thank you,” she said. “Who’s Lydia?”

“My mom,” I said, retreating behind the counter. “She grows all these flowers herself. Best florist in Jersey.”

“Not that you’d ever brag,” the young woman said with a smirk.

“That would be utterly unbe-leaf-able,” I replied, setting the broom back in its spot. “Bragging is very unbecoming.”

“Plant puns must be part of the job,” she said.

“The fun part.”

“Hmm.” She turned to look at the refrigerated arrangements. I went back to the shop computer, squinting at the inventory numbers. We would need to sell the summer arrangements soon, with fall coming up. I bit my lip. My mom would be on her own in a few months. I’d been helping out in the shop for as long as I could remember, and now I was off to college. How would she fare without me?

I turned around, shaking off the worry. My mom would be fine. I spotted the young woman frowning at a bouquet and walked over.

She jumped a little when I got close, her hand going to her waist. She relaxed when she saw it was me. I grinned at her. “Forget me not.”

She blinked. “What?”

I gestured at the display. “Forget-me-nots. I can check the pricing if you’d like.”

She sighed, her hand dropping away from her waist. “No, thanks. I was just thinking about a picture I saw once. I recognized the flowers from that.”

“I see. Let me know if you have any questions,” I said, returning to the counter. I picked up my book from behind the register and flipped through the pages until I found the spot I had left off at.

Olympic Committee Requirements

My fingers itched, imagining myself at the Olympic tryouts the next summer. I would win gold, I was sure of it. I'd already won state and regional archery competitions, gone to nationals, and beaten more experienced archers who were twice my age. I was more than cut out for it.

I was going to make it.

The crinkle of tissue paper jolted me out of the book. “Will?”

I glanced up at the young woman, startled. She smiled at me, her eyes flicking down to my nametag. I grinned back. “I feel like I’m at a disadvantage here. You don’t have a nametag.”

“How much for these?” she asked, gesturing at the bouquet of lilies she’d set on the counter.

“Fifteen.” I punched it into the register. “Cash or card?”

“Cash.” She set the money down on the counter and fiddled with the lilies as I made change.

“Are those a gift for someone or just for you?” I wrapped them up in paper and added a packet of plant food.

“They’re for my little sister.” Her lips twitched. “They’re her favorite.”

“That’s sweet.” I handed her the change. “I never did get your name.”

“Hmm.” She turned, curling brown hair swinging over her shoulder. I caught the faint whiff of mint before the bell chimed and she was gone. I stared after her for a second before returning to my book.

I had bigger things to worry about.

if you want to get into the mood, this wip does have a playlist

[beananacake]

Savior (Part 5)

Ikaris x Reader

Summary: Ikaris has felt a hum for millennia and he's never questioned it, until he found he source.

Chapter Summary: Ikaris tries once again to apologize. You learn what happened to Thena.

Word Count: 4.3k words

Warnings: MAJOR MOVIE SPOILERS!! (read at ur own risk, some dialogues are lifted from the movie lol), mentions of mental illness/health, nothing much ig??

A/N: hey, everyone! Quick note: updates for this and uploads for my other one shots would take a bit longer. I'm getting back on my treatment and i feel like sht during the first few weeks so chapters might not be coherent or stellar. I also reached 300 followers. Ur all blowing my mind! I love reading your comments. If I have some unanswered asks, its bc I don't want to give some stuff away ;) Reviews, comments, suggestions, asks, requests (and reblogs) are welcomed and accepted! This is never gonna be beta'd so all mistakes are mine. Part of 5 of Savior, everybody! Enjoy!

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | One Shot: Dear Diary

He had never worked for an apology before. He never had any need to because all of his actions were justified. He followed orders thoroughly and that saved him from ever apologizing. But you, this slip of an angel, you had the guts to ask him to mean his apology, whatever it was. Why you hurt was beyond him and he didn’t want to understand it more. All he had to do, after all, was to work on an apology to you.

Ikaris watched as you interacted with everyone on the flight except for him. He tried inserting himself to any of your conversations and while you were warm with others, you were cold with him. It was difficult to understand you because you would be so caring and open one minute and then you would be unforgiving the next, pun intended.

“No way!” You exclaimed and he looked over to find you talking to Kingo again. You had singled him out throughout the flight, making him stop doing his documentary of the Eternals, and had been talking to him about anything at all that you found interesting. It irked him that you asked for everyone else’s input except for his about Kingo’s movies, even if he had seen them all in support of his friend. It galled him more that you didn’t even once try to approach him again even as he tried apologizing once again.

“Yes, way! Who knew Aishwarya Rai wanted to be in a movie with me!” Kingo exclaimed, which had you giggling again.

Ikaris took to his drink once more, looking anywhere but at you. You’ve called and cussed him out since the moment you two had officially met. As his guardian angel, he was expecting of you to be drawn to him more considering you had sworn to protect him. But instead, your words had maimed and made him doubt himself, he was loathe to admit. If anything, you weren’t protective of him at all, other than that time in South Dakota.

“How does one work for an apology?” he asked Sersi as she sat back beside him.

If there was someone who knew of emotions and empathy, it was Sersi. He trusted Sersi and her judgement. After all, they had been partners for over five thousand years.

“Well,” she said as she buckled herself in her seat. “If we’re talking about Y/N, I would assume she would want for you to be more… feeling towards her.”

“Did that work for you and your human?”

“Dane,” she said. “His name is Dane and no. It’s different for everyone.”

“Different?” He turned to her. “Aren’t they all the same?”

She smiled at him piteously. “You are so out of touch with the world, Ikaris. A lot has changed. We all have changed and you still stay the same.”

“And do you think that’s a bad thing?” He found routine and constancy safe. Anything straying from that felt abnormal.

“There are some good and bad to it. It’s good you remained the same because you’ve always been loyal.”

He nodded. He was loyal to his duty. “And the bad?”

“The bad thing is also the good thing about you. You’re fiercely loyal that sometimes you don’t see anything else beyond your duty.”

He only raised a brow.

“It’s hard to explain but I said what I said. Your loyalty is your strength and your downfall.” She patted his hand.

“How do you apologize to your human?” he asked as he put down his drink.

“Call him Dane, Ikaris. He isn’t some pet and he isn’t mine.” She sighed. “When we apologize, we acknowledge our mistakes. We try to understand where we went wrong then we work on it.”

“But how?”

She was silent for a while. “Well, when I was late for my class one time, I had Dane come and cover for me until I arrived. I made it up to him by treating him out to dinner and also setting my alarm earlier than my usual so I wasn’t late again. It wasn’t a big problem or a fight but I apologized because I was in the wrong. I also find that changed behavior is the best form of apology.”

He only hummed as his eyes went back to you. Kingo was teaching you the dance sequence to one of his movies. He stood behind you as he instructed, holding your hand in his as he put you into position. His other hand went on your hip and that was enough for Ikaris to stand and put an end to it.

“Kingo,” he called as he made his way to you.

Every time he neared you, your power hummed around him. They were like little fires that licked on his skin, whispering when he was far but increasing in intensity when he was with you. He seemed to be the only one having that kind of reaction around you because none of the other Eternals were as electrified with you as he was. You made his skin aflame when you were just there but he felt the fervor of you whenever you looked at him.

“Yeah, boss?” Kingo said.

Ikaris looked at his friend and brought a hand down his shoulder, gently shoving him away from you. “Tell me about this new movie about me.”

Australia was okay for most part. Well, most being the operative word. You were fine with the heat and the climate and the people. Animals? Not so much. Almost anything that wasn’t a pet could potentially injure you. You had your wings out in case you needed a bit of lifting from the ground. You didn’t really do well with snakes and scorpions and whatever small creepy crawlies that escaped from Satan’s desktop aquarium.

“Is this the Deviant you found in London?” Kingo asked.

Thena and Gilgamesh settled in an arid place. Not much creature, save for some lost scorpions and maybe a snake or two. There were lots of unusual things strewn about the place that even the dead Deviant didn’t seem abnormal. If they were going for the post-apocalyptic vibe, they definitely got it down pat, you thought to yourself.

“No, it’s different,” Sprite said as she kicked the felled creature in the snout. “This looks uglier.”

“There must more out there than we thought,” Ikaris said as he walked ahead of your small group.

“Is this a Deviant, sir?” You heard Karun ask from behind you.

You had taken your spot behind Ikaris, powers at the ready for any lurking Deviants. Kingo was a great fighter but if he was busy with his documentary, the next best thing was you to defend Sersi and Sprite.

Kingo had started talking again, working on his documentary and you grinned despite the situation you were in. He was absolutely fun to talk to. He alleviated most of the heavy situations with his quips and he was much easier to be around with. Sure, he was a bit shallow but it was only because he was a superstar. You’ve learned on your way here that he was more than just the glitz and glamor of Bollywood. He cared for his co-stars and the extras of his new movie. He was almost like a philanthropist in that sense, making sure that the people who worked with and under him had pay before he left them to go do his other thing: being a bad ass Eternal.

Ikaris, however, you’ve ignored for most of the trip. You refused to notice the way you were drawn to him despite being angry at him. Maybe not angry. Just… disappointed. You knew he was a soldier and he was rigid as hell but you never expected the coldness in him after watching him for so long. And it was so contradictory because he appeared cool and uncaring to you but the way you were drawn to him was like a moth to a flame. You felt warm and tingly and you didn’t miss how your stomach fluttered whenever you catch him looking at you or calling your attention. The last time you felt this way, the effect had been near disastrous for you.

Ikaris knocked on the door just as Kingo called out his friend’s name with a flourish. He tried once again before the door opened.

And Gilgamesh, the most powerful of all the Eternals, stepped out in a dirtied apron.

He still looked big and formidable like always but seeing him in this state was comforting. He exuded that aura of protection that even you, an angel who people sought out for comfort, were soothed.

“What took you so long?” he said by way of greeting. When he saw the camera Karun was holding, he waved a hand away as if to swat it from him. You stepped aside, closer to Sersi so as not to be in his way.

“You look younger today, Sprite,” Gilgamesh said, as he wandered over to his outdoor oven. Whatever it was he was cooking smelt delicious.

“I have the same apron,” Karun said as he followed the mighty Eternal to the kitchen.

“Who the hell are you?” he asked as he checked on a pot.

“I’m Karun,” the stout man said with an easy smile. “I’m Kingo’s valet.”

“Oh, a val-ey, like Alfred in Batman!” Gilgamesh said with a grin.

“Gilgamesh,” Ikaris said in his no-nonsense tone. “The Deviants are back.”

“Yeah, no shit.” He said and you grinned. You knew you and the warrior would get along pretty well. “I could have used some help.”

“We were attacked by a Deviant in London,” Sprite said.

“Us too, in South Dakota.” You piped up. “We had two.”

“Who’s that? A new Eternal?” Gilgamesh asked and you stepped into his view.

“No. I’m an an—”

“Angel,” he said with awe.

You smiled. “Call me Y/N. I’m Ikaris’s guardian angel. Angel feels like a nickname.” You held out your hand to him and he shook it.

“You can see her wings?” Sprite asked.

You raised an eyebrow, not realizing immediately that he called you for what you were.

“I’ve never seen anything whiter than snow.” He moved to touch your wing.

“Don’t touch her wing, Gil,” Ikaris warned frostily. You only raised your brow at his tone.

Gilgamesh looked at you before drawing back. “Sorry. I thought angels were fictional.”

“So were superheroes but here you all are,” you said easily. “And it’s fine. I know you won’t hurt me.” You reached out your wing to his hand, gently tapping it. When he opened it, you tapped at his palm with a feather. The way he grinned at the contact made you smile. He looked like a kid at Christmas.

“I’m sorry, Gil,” Ikaris said from behind you. “Ajak’s dead.”

Gil drew back from you, looking at his friends, unbelieving. “What?”

“It’s true, buddy. We lost her,” Sprite said.

Gil frowned as he sat on the chair, burying his face in his hands. You touched his shoulder lightly, infusing your calming power to him. You squatted beside him, face near his.

“Even in her death, she spoke of her family.” You told him. He looked at you. “I was there when she died. All she wanted was for all of you to find each other and keep each other safe.”

He peeked at you and you smiled softly at him. “I’ll keep all of you safe if I have to.” You promised him.

He bobbed his head in acknowledgement. “Thank you, Y/N. I have to tell Thena.”

You moved aside from him as he stood and made his way to the lone standing tree in the land. There was a small lump of white at the base of it and when you walked closer, you saw that it was Thena crouched before the tree. Her hands were moving erratically across the papers.

“Stay back. The attack triggered her. She’s no fun to be around with right now.” Gil said as he led your group to the other warrior.

“Hey, Thena,” Gil called out. “Look who’s here. Give me your hand.”

You heard the whirring of powers before she even turned around. You stood in front of Ikaris and held out your hands, a force field shielding you and the people behind you from an incoming attack. You had seen Thena in combat. She yielded her weapons out of thin air and each one had been different for every attack. The best you could do was only to parry without causing injury to her. She already looked fragile. There was no need to further hurt her.

Gil only held out his arm to shield the mystical weapon. Thena’s eyes were completely white, like they had been possessed.

“Everyone in Centauri-6 is going to die,” she said.

Or haunted by a memory.

“It’s too late.” She said with a tone of regret and pain. “We can’t save them.”

It was definitely a memory of a sort. No one seemed to notice it but you knew. You knew what it was to be haunted by memories of the past. You had to help her in any way you can.

Suddenly, the environment started to change. You were enclosed in a lair of sorts, dark and robotic. In the middle of it stood a sculpture of a being. It looked otherworldly in this place but the Eternals looked right at home. Sprite’s illusion started to dance in the air around you.

“Thena, we came to Earth together on our ship. You’re an Eternal, the greatest warrior in Olympia, the legendary protector of Athens. The goddess of War.” Sprite said.

The illusions changed into Thena fighting a Deviant. You watched her prowess with admiration, even if it was just from Sprite’s imagery.

“Remember who you are,” Sprite said.

You lowered your shield as you saw Thena draw back her weapon.

Gil reached out again. “Remember,” he said as he intertwined their hands together.

Sprite drew back the illusion and you were once again back in the Devil’s backyard that is Australia. Somehow, you liked the illusion better even if it was dark.

Thena pried her eyes away from the warrior and when they landed on you, she tilted her head to the side. “Hello,” she called out.

You waved. “Hello, Thena. My name is Y/N.”

She pulled away from Gil and walked over to you. Her eyes roamed over your wings before landing back to yours. “Why are you here?”

“I’m Ikaris’s guardian angel.” You told her. You looked up at her eyes and held out your hand to her. “What happened to you?”

“She has Mahd Wy’ry.” Gil supplied from beside you.

“What’s that?” You asked.

“Her mind is fractured. She suffers from the weight of her memories.” he told you.

You nodded and looked at the goddess. “Tell me about Centauri-6. What happened?”

“Y/N—”

There was whirring once more and Thena produced another weapon, drawing back to hit you. You only raised your hand and summoned a shield to block her.

Her weapon broke through your barrier and you drew back, summoning your power to your fingertips. Thena came at you again, changing her weapon for a mace. When she moved to attack, you grabbed her wrist and passed your power to her.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Thena.” You said as calmly as you can. You held firm as she tried to wiggle away.

Mahd Wy’ry. Thena was sick. Gilgamesh had done a great job at keeping her sane but she needed someone to talk to. Someone who was willing to listen to her memories. From the looks of it, they weren’t ready for whatever it was she wanted to say. They were only keeping her from fully realizing her memories. You felt like you were the only objective one.

“Y/N,” you heard Ikaris say from behind you and you only shook your head. “Thena will—”

“No. Thena won’t. I’m not a threat.” You kept your eyes to the warrior. You gestured to yourself with your free hand. “I’m not a threat.” As if to show that you come in peace, you let go of her wrist and held your palms out to her.

“We’ll talk in private if you don’t want them to hear.” You told her gently. “I won’t hurt you even if you hurt me.”

“I don’t think that’s wise, Y/N,” Kingo told you.

“I’ll take the chance,” you called out.

Something shifted in Thena’s eyes and she changed back, looking at you now with her brown gaze. “Gilgamesh took the chance on me so I can keep my memories.” She said and looked at the other warrior on your right-hand side and smiled.

“Then you should know you could trust me.” You held out your hand to her again. “If I ever become a threat to you, just aim for my wings to cripple or kill me.” As if to make a point, you unfurled your wings wider to her. The dust swirled around your feet at the action.

“Y/N,” there was a warning tone to Ikaris’s voice. You ignored him.

“Gilgamesh? Do you think you can find something to do with the others while I talk with Thena?” You turned to the other Eternal, who watched you with respect for your bravery.

“Of course.” He nodded to you and then turned to the others. “Let’s go.”

Ikaris watched you from his seat at the table. You and Thena had returned after being gone for a while, talking about whatever it was the Mahd Wy’ry had wormed into her head. Ajak had told them it was the weight of her memories that her mind cannot handle. The only solution for it was to have her memory wiped but she had refused.

You and Thena had struck up a different kind of camaraderie after your conversation. He had been ready to step in when he saw the way Thena moved to attack you but you stood your ground. Gilgamesh had been the only strong one to elude her attacks but the way you calmly talked to her proved otherwise. There was something about you that brought a tranquility to everyone, excluding him. You only brought uproar in him.

“Is this what you guys eat everyday?” Kingo asked as he passed around the platter of beef. “This is amazing.”

“Thank you for this,” Ikaris said to Gil as he looked at his friend.

“You’re welcome. Help yourselves,” Gil replied and walked over to you, who had brought out the pie that was still baking when they started to eat. “Y/N, let me take care of serving. You have a seat.”

Sersi cleared her throat and Ikaris looked at her, watching as she gestured discreetly to you. He looked at you once again before clearing his own throat.

“Y/N. Have a seat.” He said as you turned to him at the mention of your name.

“Yeah, Y/N. I have a spot here for you,” Kingo said and he moved to make room for you beside him.

Ikaris speared his friend a glance. If Kingo were to always intervene, he wouldn’t have the chance to apologize. He was going to tell him off when Thena came and sat on that space. The only available space was the one between him and Sprite and he moved to make it bigger for you to move into.

Gil brought over a pitcher, claiming it was a drink worthy of the soldiers of the battle of Troy and placed it down in front of Karun.

“Should she be drinking?” Kingo asked as he looked at Thena.

Ikaris poured more of the drink in another cup and passed it to you. You looked up at him in surprise before you mouth twisted in a smile. He found himself looking at your lips for longer than the usual.

“You know,” you said as you took the drink from his hand. There were invisible sparks when your fingers touched his and he felt them all over his body. “You look good without the asshole shtick.”

“Y/N makes you more bearable,” Thena commented as she chewed on her meat.

The grin you gave the goddess warrior turned his wine sweet on his lips. “I keep him in line.” You said and looked at him as you drank.

He took a deep breath before turning away, balling his other fist under the table. There were some gibes at Sprite because whatever Gilgamesh said made her turn his clothes into that of a big baby. The table laughed when they saw and he watched the way you chuckled. There was something about the way you viewed the world. It wasn’t that he did not find Sprite’s prank funny but it was how you did. Every little thing for you mattered.

“Now that Captain Rogers and Iron Man are both gone, who do you think’s gonna lead the Avengers?” Sprite asked.

“I could lead them,” he said as he speared his food. “I figured I’d be good at that.”

“Sure, and give me a hard time catching up with you to keep you safe,” you snorted. “I better be paid for overtime.”

Everyone chuckled at you. You only raised your eyebrow at him in challenge.

“Ajak didn’t even ask you to lead us,” added Gil and the table erupted into noises of dissent. You were the only one who gave the warrior Eternal a fist bump.

“Ouch,” Ikaris said. “I’m going to let that one slide.”

A chair scraped against the floor and he looked over to see Sersi head for the door.

“Where are you going?” he asked. He felt you rise beside him but Gilgamesh pushed you back down on your seat.

“I just need some air,” Sersi said before leaving.

He knew better than to follow her. Sersi had chosen by Ajak as her successor as the Prime Eternal and he knew it must have been a daunting task for someone like her. He was a natural leader and Sersi wasn’t. He knew she was just coming into terms with her new assignment.

“This is really good, Gil,” Kingo said and everyone turned to him. “I could just paste my face in a bottle of this and you can sell some units.”

“Thank you. I chewed every single corn kernel and fermented it in my spit.” Gil said, proud.

You choked beside him and he looked over at you. Kingo spit back his on his mug.

“I mean, whatever works, right?” You remarked as you wiped your mouth dry. “Pretty good stuff, Gil.”

When the feast was done, you took it to yourself to fix and clean the plates. Kingo offered to help you—Karun insisted because empathy looked good on camera—but Ikaris had told him he would instead.

Changed behavior is the best form of apology, Sersi told him. If he wanted to properly apologize to you, he would have to get down from his proverbial high horse as you so eloquently put it and see the world as how you do.

“Have you ever done the dishes before?” You asked as you brought the dirtied dishes to the sink. “Because if you’re just going to mess up, I’d be cleaning twice more.”

“I thought you watched over me,” he stood beside you and took the dish towel.

“Dude, you’re not my 24/7 job.” You started scrubbing. “Technically, you are, but I need a life too.”

He only hummed and wiped down the plate you washed.

“If this is tedious for you, just go.” You said after a while.

“Why do you make it so hard for me to apologize?”

“Oh, this is you apologizing? I thought this was you showing basic human decency.” You passed a mug to him.

“I’m not human.”

“So am I but it’s hard to tell difference, no?” You washed. “Why do you think this is the best way to apologize?”

“How else do you want me to?”

“If I tell you, would that count as apologizing still?” You sighed. “Tell me, Ikaris.”

He turned his body to you, looking at your face. In the faint light of the setting Australian sun, you looked ethereal.

“Tell me why you can’t mix emotions and your duties.” You closed the tap and turned to him. “Sersi can. The others looked like they could. Why can’t you?”

He reached towards your cheek to push your hair away from your face. He saw the way your pupils dilated and he was sure he had the same reaction.

“It complicates matters,” he said.

“I don’t think it does.” You uttered. “If anything, it would make things clearer. You know what you’re fighting for.”

“Okay. If that’s what you think, is it working for you? Is it hard to be my angel when you so clearly loathe to be around me?”

You raised a delicate brow. “I wonder why that is,” you said coyly and smiled.

He felt himself smile with you.

“I don’t loathe you, Ikaris. I don’t even hate you.” You stepped closer to him, looking up at his eyes. “I pity you.”

“Pity me?”

You brought a finger to his chest and jabbed it at where his heart was. It sent a current across his body. “I pity this heart that refuses to feel.” You placed your palm against it. “You say you do but I don’t think you know how it truly is. I’m sure you love Sersi and had been in love with her for thousands of years but she’s moved on.”

He placed his hand on top of yours and looked down at you.

“You’re allowed to feel pain and anger and regret and love. No one will call you out for it.” You took a deep breath, your chest rising and he became hyperaware of how close you were to him.

“When you feel, it will set you free.”

Ikaris felt himself leaning towards you, watching your eyes as his head bent down closer to yours. You rose up to meet him halfway. So close that he was about to lay his lips on yours when Gilgamesh entered the kitchen.

“We need to talk. Sersi just spoke with Arishem.”

[hysteriapilled]

- 𝙰 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝙽 𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙽 𝙹𝙰𝙴𝙶𝙴𝚁'𝚂 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙲𝙰𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙸 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙳𝙾

Keep in mind that this might be inaccurate considering the information given is not canon, but from google. There will be no house readings since I can't even get a hold of his actual birth time so there is no rising sign (This is Eren's chart and how he would be if he were real, so don't take everything as factual)

𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅𝐅

Big 5 Analysis

- SUN IN ARIES. Your sun defines your ego, core identity, your authentic self and in my personal opinion it's not really an important placement in the chart, and more of a title basically. People born into Aries are usually perceived as loud, impulsive, raging and aggressive by others— but they're very caring and protective to the ones they love, though sometimes they sure can have bursts of anger. Eren is stubborn, he can't be chained down and refuses to sit back and watch the people he cares about get tossed around. He is a firm person, quick on his feet and rather very rushing, he's like a puppy excited to get his owner running laps around him, he's hyper and motivating; a natural leader. - MOON IN PISCES. Your moon is your emotional side, how you feel, how you perceive feelings and how you process them. Eren with moon in Pisces is definitely not surprising to me— He is dreamy, intuitive, compassionate and he's either too dependable on others or just an overthinker. Though he may not seem like it Eren is very vulnerable and even prone to getting addicted to substances (alcohol, drugs, bad habits etc.) It's not the best placement in my standpoint, as he can get very affected by his surroundings and others. He can't turn a blind eye and NOT take shit to heart and rather stores it inside and holds onto it. He's very empathetic, he feels people's emotions and feels them well, to the point that he himself experiences what they are going through. - MERCURY IN PISCES. Eren has a LOT of Pisces placements so prepare to see a ton of empathy and psychic abilities in his aspects. Your Mercury is how you think, speak and learn. I sense that Eren has really great vulnerability which might not be a good thing, he trusts people too much and rather relies on them for heaps of things, he can be easily manipulated which is why he should refrain from letting everyone in. On the other hand, he is a very dreamy person and gets lost in his imagination at times. He sees the world in another, imaginative lens, and often could find himself daydreaming randomly. I can see that Eren has a hard time letting go of the past and he can even be linked to people in his life he hadn't seen in years. In terms of rational thinking he isn't the best, as he can't distinguish the logical from the emotional which is definitely something he should work on, he gets often blinded by the illusion of his overwhelming emotions toward others. He can also definitely have an eye to art since his imagination is extravagantly wide.

- VENUS IN TAURUS. Your mercury is your idea of love and how you give it and prefer to receive it— Eren's idea of romance is full of sensuality and gifts, he'll spoil you with his utter loyalty and generally with things too. Devotion is daily, he's extremely honest and would rather die than lie to you. Emphasis on sensuality, Eren craves touch and I could sense that his love language is physical touch, he will shower you with affection and fulfill your needs any time of the day. Taurus in Venus are all about comfort and coziness with their lover, so I can see that Eren loves cuddling, massages, food, sleepovers, intimate little things like that strike a chord in his heart. He can be possessive and jealous of times, he hates change specifically big ones in relationships—He can also take a long time to get to know you and prefers taking things slow and steady rather than rushing into it. I can also feel that he loves hard-workers, people who are dedicated and responsible (that's definitely his type). - MARS IN CAPRICORN. Two words. Goal driven. Your Mars is your approach towards anger and impulses as well as your sexuality aspects. Eren is self-controlled and refuses to take orders from others, he can't be chained down not because he's stubborn, but simply because he can't allow himself to stop. He has a tendency to shut out the world to pursue his objective— he moves forward (not a pun) and is willing to fight against everything and everyone to reach his goal, he isn't petty as he considers little quarrels a waste of time and energy. He likes to focus on the big problem at hand, not how to fight and win the battle but how to prepare for conquering the war once and for all. Eren with this placement knows that he is entitled to earn what he works hard for and will not let anything stop him. Mars signs can also affect appearance so I sense that Eren has very prominent and broad cheekbones, a serious face, and a very stiff, steady voice like he's about to command something. It can also be an intimate, velvety and cold voice and on the topic of intimacy— He usually prefers seeing you face to face and rather dislikes social media flings. He comes with a natural inclination to assume a dominant role in bed and he does what doesn't bother him (kink-wise) His temper is so icy, and he could definitely be on the sadomasochism spectrum. He's very soft in nature so if something was bothering you he'd instantly be turned off. Eren can be aggressive and intense but he may not specifically get off on pain (or he may) more like he finds the idea of being in control a very satisfying idea.

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅𝐅

2. Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune & Pluto Analysis

- JUPITER IN AQUARIUS. Your Jupiter is where you can receive the most luck and love, without you really doing much. It’s where you can catapult to happiness and success through quickest routes possible, within reason. I can tell from previous placements that Eren is a firm believer in standing for what you think is right. He is very opinionated and sometimes a bit too much— Some of his beliefs or theories can be brilliant and genius and others quite nonsensical and implausible, he rushes into throwing the first opinion just for the sake of throwing it first. Any analytical work about objective themes would come easily to him. Passion and enthusiasm will come astonishingly fast too as he can actually stun society with his innate knowledge with complicated subjects. Any scientific, technological, or perhaps just general abstract topics will benefit Eren greatly in subtle and/or unsubtle ways. He takes leaps of faith and believes what his eyes cannot see or what his mind cannot grasp. Simply what makes everything work out so well for him is the open minded love he puts into his theories. Sometimes though, he fears judgement people give to his methods as they are sometimes out of the box and peculiar. Eren would have to let go of his attachment to what other people think about his ways on solving or analyzing. - SATURN IN LIBRA. Your Saturn sign is your life’s obstacles and challenges, the rewards that come with time, and the discipline you need to achieve your goals. To start off with friendships, Eren cares about others and is tireless in serving others—he's also prone to putting others before him (others as in the people he cares about) And supporting his moon and mercury Pisces, he is very artistic and helps civilize those who need the lessons. The companionship he seeks can often give him solace and security, with his comrades support he feels a lot more powerful and in self-control. In relationships though Eren may tend to have a bit of an inferiority complex when it comes to relationships and is afraid of rejection & may try to shut himself away or run if the going gets tough. He is very drawn to mentor types, and may often be with someone older and wiser. Despite that he still finds a way to assume the dominant role in the relationship due to his cold nature. Eren commits to artful projects, making it possible to live his dreams by seeing them to completion, he finds it very gratifying and has mental discipline when he finds activities that matches his high ideals. His sense of social justice is heightened, that could get him into law, politics and activism—His firm belief in himself also plays a big role in this, his bravery allows himself to sacrifice whatever he has to, to get the job done. Chaos, crassness, and ugliness can cause him a lot of anxiety and fear, and with his persistence to right the wrong he gets really frustrated when people don't have an outlook to life the same as his. I sense that it may be hard for Eren to accept that only he is able to control himself, and it's a hard pill for him to swallow.

- URANUS IN PISCES. As I mentioned before Eren's chart is dominated with Pisces placements, his intuition works at another wavelength than that of the common people, and for this reason, he is in a much deeper connection to the spirit world. He can sense the occult and this acts as a form of guidance for him, an anchor to support his meanderings through life’s challenges. Pair that up with his splendid imagination and innovative spirit, and you get someone who’s afraid of failure even when he’s not doing anything out of the ordinary, the worst thing that could happen to Eren is failing and losing his sense of validation. He’s a negativist ( I can see Eren as a cynical person later on in life, a realist would fit his philosophical belief) but, he should let his intuition and connection to the spirit world heal this part of his, instead of allowing everything to work against him. He won’t let himself be fooled by naïve ideals, even though he likes believing in them. He can be quite realistic and logical when the situation calls for it and that's quite ironic considering he's indulged in his imagination most of the time. - NEPTUNE IN SAGITTARIUS. This is one hell of a placement. Experimentation with different beliefs, spiritual strands, and esoteric-based teachings are all things Eren finds interest in. He cannot deny the divine existence truly and indefinitely to himself- even if he does so to others, there is always the gnawing sense that ‘there is something more,’ and one day he may regret not finding out what that is. His gift is bringing the joy of shared faith and spirituality together, making the sect he resonates with part of his life’s philosophy. We can tell by now that Eren's purpose is seeking truth, absorbing information and looking at the world in a different lens. - PLUTO IN PISCES. Shawty Bae here can also can be more passive aggressive when trying to get what he wants. This means he can be manipulative at times. This is the only time he ever makes a power play. When he is struggling to achieve something for the greater good. (THIS ACTUALLY RESONATES WITH HIS PLAN) But this desire for control is never executed maliciously. He wants things to go his way so he doesn't disappoint those who are counting on him. Eren can be very sensitive, and it’s important to him that he doesn't let anyone down. He so desperately want to help people that he sometimes sacrifices his health and well being, and even somtimes the well being of others just for the outcome to turn out best.

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘

3. Chiron (Scar)

- CHIRON IN PISCES. Your Chiron sign in astrology shows where you sustained your deepest wound, your scar— It can never be completely healed, but they can be worked with and transmuted. Eren with Chiron in Pisces, we've already talked about many Pisces qualities in him (empathy, psychic abilities, imagination etc.) But the Chiron has a lot more depth into it, Eren might have a deep fear of being hurt by the universe or the forces at play. He might feel that the world is unfair or merciless and doesn't have his back almost every time. He has a sense of betrayal, and that leads him into cynicism (mentioned before in his Uranus placement) He felt that nobody was there for him when he needed it the most and he also feels a sense of victimization. This placement has a lot to do with the idea of FATE. Even subconsciously Eren feels he was dealt an unfair life, I can also feel that his way of coping is feeling someones grief right alongside them. Sympathyzing is definitely his way of forgetting about his own problems. Even though Eren doesn't exactly victimize himself he still can't understand why the universe is set up this way— he feels that the world isn't fair to him and his loved ones. Although all this scarring shows when he indulges himself in an immense shell of cynicism, then he hops between two places; Not feeling empathy for others since nobody offered empathy to him - or sympathyzing greatly and putting others' needs before his. It is easy for him to shut his feelings out but only with the help of substances which makes him more prone to getting addicted. This placement was created at some point in the past when Eren needed something badly and didn’t get it (sometimes the wound stems from a past life, but this stemmed from his childhood) Maybe it's because he felt insignificant to someone he felt was an idol to him, maybe this figure or idol was never there to nurture him and the probability of him having a lost close one in early childhood days is a very probable cause in how this Chiron stemmed.

BONUS:

- I get massive ISFP vibes from early Eren and INTJ from late him.

- His Venus Taurus makes him very romantic, so I feel like this would be his favorite song to dance to

[sunkissedchldrecon]

Hi, how are you today? And yeah it's totally can be seen how of time and effort you have put to create this👏. Btw thank you so much for the reading💕.

Feedback:

🎇 𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗞𝗦 (𝗜'𝗠 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗢𝗡𝗘)

At this point of time I am not really interacting with others or focusing on making connections. I love meeting new people and getting to know them but I don't know why I just don't feel like doing it now. I feel like I need sometime alone away from others. So yeah I am taking my time🙈. Did you say travel blogger? OMG!!! 😳 I would love to be a travel blogger. It will be like a dream come true for me🤩. Btw can you please tell me what did you mean by heavy energy? Is it bad🤔?

🍱 𝗚𝗢𝗗'𝗦 𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗨

I do think about things on a deeper level and people around me tend to come to me when they need emotional support. I don't know about constantly tearing myself down 😅 but I do feel the need to keep improving my self to be a better person (though I don't know if I am doing it right or not🥺).

Thank you so much for the reading💞. It was great reading it and it resonates with me. Hope you have an amazing day/night. Stay safe and healthy 🤪💕. -MS

ty for the feedback!

when i said heavy energy, i felt a lot of deja vu when i did this reading (no pun intended because of ateez's recent comback. i promise). for some reason, the road not taken came up as i was doing the reading and that song actually inspired the album yellow wood from stray kids and the song side effects. it just felt very intentional and weird, and so i felt like the energy was heavy because i couldn't put into words how.. scary?? it kinda was lmao. i don't think it was super serious though.

[chaotichuman0090]

"His safest place" | Kayden Vescovi x Josephine Everhart

A/n: YESSS it's finally here!!!! My first fic! 🥳🥳 Well it was done a while ago (after a lot of planning), but I'm posting it now because I finally have some spare time and space lmao.😅

That being said, I didn't expect it to be so long (no pun intended). I should've probably split it in two parts but eh...

It's been a nice experience. Might do it again sometimes. I'd also prescribe a dose of Kayden to everyone here. I mean, just take a look at him.... *whew* 🥵

Oh, by the way, tell me if you catch any mistakes or weird typos, please. (english is my second language so I might get things wrong sometime).

This is set a few months after the end of the book.

Pairing: Kayden Vescovi - MC (Josephine Everhart) | The Royal Masquerade |

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Vonberry is the name I gave to my dear bear cub, bless him! 🧡

Words: 3370

Warnings: N*FW content (basically the whole second part, no pressure; almost smut at the end of the first part too. Almost because... I just thought it would be too much for a first attempt)

Tagging: @walkerswhiskeygirl @masquerade-reimagined @kayann9

P.s. Thank you guys for your support!! I appreciate it and it helped a lot! Sorry to keep you waiting though..

I can't wait to hear what you think of this. Big hugs!

If you'd like to be tagged in future let me know!

Okay. Enjoy!!!

Annalisa paced the outside of Josephine's house, growing slightly unpatient, yet still feeling overjoyed at the thought of seeing her sister after so long.

It was well past noon when she arrived after a whole day journey. It didn't took much for her to take matter into her own hands and went to see how she's doing.

And today was a day she was looking forward to.

She scowled at herself and leaned her back against the railing and examined the little garden in front of her. Last time she had seen her sister was after King Fabian's coronation.

When she finally felt like she had enough of wating she decided to go inside, leaving the door open on her way in.

The sweet, delicious smell of fresh baked goods instantly reaches her nose as she quickly moved closer, she heard the faint sound of Josephine's voice and stops into the doorway without announcing herself yet.

"Vonberry, I told you before, you are not allowed in when I'm baking, you little... oh.." Josephine looked behind and stopped abruptly. It was safe to say she was taken aback by the person in front of her.

"Annalisa?"

She didn't have enough time to react as her sister enveloped her in a big hug that reminded them both of all the moments they've spent together at the Everhart estate.

"What... what are you doing here?" She stammered on her words, her eyes glossy and full of emotions accompanied by a big smile on her face.

"Well, forgive me for wanting to see how my dear sister is doing." Annalisa remarked quickly, puling back from the hug."I only hope you missed me just as much."

"You know what I mean." Josephine said, looking fondly at her.

"I suppose you've been quite busy."she said, looking around the messy room, with a grin on her face. There was flour and pastries of all kinds spread on the counter.

"I think I had spent all morning here."Josephine let out a long breath, the corner of her mouth curled upwards.

"Did you came all the way here alone?"She asked her sister, surprised.

"I did not came here on a fancy carriage with two white horses and dozens of sevrants anyway, if that's what you're asking." Annalisa stated with a lightly amused tone, expresing how giddy she felt about their reunion.

"I always knew you had an odd sense of humor". Josephine's eyes glimmered, matching the smirk in the corner of her mouth.

Their sweet joyful laugh echoed through the halls, in the whole house. Josephine decided to finish her task later, before joining her sister at the table, proceed on serving a cup of tea and carried on with the conversation.

"So, tell me, how did you adapt to your new life? And Kayden?" The question gained Annalisa a funny look and a quiet snort. To her disbelief she continued ..."He better treat you well or so help me-"

"Of course he does. He's... a dream come true" Josephine responded quickly, reminiscing about their wonderful, precious memories together, with a soft smile plastered on her face the whole time.

" I know, sister. I was merely joking." An easy smile replacing her previous frown.

"Anyone can see it on his face. He loves you with all his being. He would give his life only for you to be happy. It's a strong love. It's unbreakable." Annalisa said while looking her in the eyes.

"Speaking of which," Josephine spoke after a small pause. "I presume things are going well with Percival." She looked up, raising a brow, a teasing smile on her lips.

"Oh, you know how self-restraint he can be sometimes," Annalisa declared nonchalantly, "But we balance each other, since I'm an excellent lover, so to speak." She remarked with a grin, nodding proudly to herself.

A brief utterly childlike laugh escaped Josephine's lips, dissolving soon into a fit of laughter and her sister followed her soon.

"You're a breath of fresh air, Annalisa!" She said with a shake of her head.

The truth was she couldn't wait to spend the rest of the day in the company of her dear sister, catching up after long time away.

After Annalisa left, Josephine began preparing diner for her and Kayden, deciding on a delicious roasted chicken over a bed of fresh, hearty vegetables.

Everything was done by the time Kayden arrived home and she carefully put the meal on a tray with legs, picking out a few baked rolls as well, and took them to the table.

Needless to say the food tasted delicious as usuall, the rich aroma of the dish making her mouth water.

They ate in comfortable silence, listening to the wind gusting through the tree branches outside.

He watched her pick a small piece of meat off with her fingers and pop it into her mouth, chewing slowly.

A sweet smile reached her lips as she looked up at him, watching his hand that is holding the wine glass while picking at the food in his plate.

"I can tell your mind is full of busy thoughts without reading it. How can I help?" Josephine asked with evident concern, placing her hand on top of his.

Kayden looked down at their hands and mumbled something inchoerent, then cleared his throat.

He gave a quick shrug as a response while keeping his eyes on the table, looking lost in thoughts.

Slowly, he stood, and rounded the table to her, offering his hand. After a few moments she took it and he helped her stand but didn't go anywhere.

"Dance with me?" The question left his lips hesitantly, almost like he tried to restain his desire.

She agreed, allowing him to twirl her around, soon developing into a mix of passion and heavy, graceful footsteps without the steady drum of music.

They moved together, her arched back over a bridge of emotions, relishing the way their breath quicken with each step, feet guiding them across the floor, spinning, dibs, slow sways and more.

They danced for a while, the candlelight flickering shadows across the room. Nither of them said anything, feeling content with the silence.

Kayden was holing her, but not the way he held her the first time they danced, months ago, or even after that. He didn't hold her like she was his saving grace, his light in a world of darkness. Instead he held her softly and sweetly like they've been lovers for years. Like she was his safest place.

Josephine held him back that way, as she imagined a wife would hold her husband, lovingly, wrapping her arms tighter around him, closing her eyes and leaning in to rest her head on his chest.

Kayden welcomed her embrace, holding her tighter as well.

Their pace slowed and they stayed in one place , moving as only seemed natural.

"I love how we're always in perfect sync". Josephine said with a small smile playing on her lips.

Kayden did not reply to her straight away, instead he debates on a way to express his next words.

"With all the time I spent working these past few days," he continued carefully "I neglected you."

"Forgive me." Kayden's voice sounded tense and concerned for a moment; he looked deeply into her eyes, before kissing the top of her head.

"You need a break you know" Josephine gave a quiet sigh then raised on her tip toes to give him a delicate kiss filled with desire and devotedness, her hands sliding from his jaw to his hair, lips not breaking apart as their emotions took hold on them.

"I am taking a break now and... plainly wishing you would join me in our room later." His breathless, husky voice was close to her ear now, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"Careful, Kayden. I might just keep you there for good." Josephine went on, waiting for a reaction from him. Kayden just raised an eyebrow at her and smiled subtly.

"Or perhaps I have planed to spend my night with a new book." She teased , exchanging a smile with him.

"I don't believe that even for a moment." He murmured in a deep and low voice, his warm breath close to her forehead.

The two of them were aware of the unconditional love they held for each other. They whisperd it with each glance of their eyes and each brush or their lips.

Kayden was open now. He told her many things, stories of his life when he was a child, growing up at the Vescovi estate, as his father son, still unsuitable for that also. He told her how that place became devoid of any significance, of life, as he grew older and more resentful by it every day.

Josephine understood that he'd been spurred on by whispers of untold secrets and the unmistakable feeling of guilt and inadequacy resting on his shoulders for too long.

It brought her back to the realization that he was still haunted by old pains. Things that happened in the past that he'll never get over. She couldn't bear to watch that pain flood his eyes, not again. It would not be the reason it came back again.

But she knew well that whatever was holding him back before, would not hold him back from now on. In a whole chaotic and nosy world, they managed to find each other. She swore to cherish every moment she has by his side.This world has already lost its magic for some, that she knew.

Spine tingling sansations, carrying so much emotion that she believed they'd had both gotten enough, still they find themselves observing the backside of his palm reaching out to the surface of her neck, under her ear before leaning forward to place a few more kisses and soft bites. Truthfully, she was unable to find the right words, her whole body burning with passion as she felt a flooding urge in other hidden places, that Kayden was well aware of.

"You've had a long day too. What is absolutely necessary right now is a... foot massage." His tone making it plain he meant more than he said."I believe that would be rather satisfying."

That sounded more like a promise, she thought.

She hummed in agreement, followed by a short laugh, her head hiden in the crock of his neck.

"I'm glad you find me amusing" Kayden quipped instantly. Not waiting for another response, he lowered her in a graceful dip, her long hair now swaying close to the floor.

Josephine can only stare up into those impossibly beautiful brown eyes, watching with bated breath as they morph into her own, seeing their entire future layed out.

Kayden pulls her back with him squeezing her hands gently before releasing them and took a step back. His eyes lingered on her with anticipation of his next words.

He was tall, ethereal, intimidating and formidable to her.

"Take off your dress!" said Kayden, his voice soft but demanding, nodding to her simple thin red dress that she had on.

Josephine starts to strip the material off her skin, taking her time, while silently enjoying his half-lidded eyes still gazing hungrily over her. Upon seeing the way he was looking at her sent shivers down her spine.

Soon after she's done and left only in her undergarments, Kayden moves closer to her and brushed the hair from her face, sweeping all of it over one shoulder before gripping it in a strong fist like he can't hold back anymore.

He crashed his lips down on hers, his hands burried withing the strands of hair, urging her towards him. His other hand pressed at the small of her back and drew her closer, just as he angled his head to kiss her deeper, mingling their scents along with their lips.

Josephine felt like she was losing not only her footage but also her mind. She griped onto his broad shoulders, trying to get even closer, if that was possible.

He hummed something against her that got drowned in a kiss, but whatever he wanted to say was not important, she gathered as his lips moved down to her neck, tracing the pulse pounding against her skin with his tongue. A soft moan found its way out of her parted lips as Kayden firmly gripped her waist, trailing kisses down the exposed skin along the way, making her back arch up.

He took a moment to let her breath and, with a quick movement, tossed his shirt to the side,while she starts undoing the buttons of his trousers, letting them drop to the floor.

They stumbled carelessly around, heading for the bed, Kayden letting them both fall onto the soft matress. Their limbs were entangled together, under the warm quilts of the bed, hidden from sight; it was a special moment which only they were witness to.

_________________________________________

It was well past midnight when Josephine woke up suddenly, sensing the coolness of the room that was illuminated only by the starlight and the bright moon through the tiny window, casting them in blue shadows. She turned around in bed and sat still, rubbing her eyes and blinking slowly and just laid there wondering what cound have interrupted her sleep this early but did not ponder over it too much.

Shortly after, she found herself musing on the unforgettable events from last night, blood rushing to her cheeks at the thought. Looking over at Kayden who was still sleeping soundlessly next to her, his lower body covered by the blanket and his arm draped over her side of bed.

She had a crooked, sleepy grin on her face and brought her hand up to his face, touching his lower lip with the tip of her finger.

She was looking at him in awe, taking in the smoothness of his features illuminated by the moonlight. Kayden. Her Kayden.

After a few moments of deliberation she moved carefully, not to disturbe him, and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips.

Gently touching his cheek, she ever so slightly brushed her lips against his jaw. Of course he was too deep in his sleep to notice but it made her heart dance.

She then began nipping at his ear lobe, softly, with just a right hint of passion, then worked her way back, trailing lingering kisses from his stubbled jaw to his neck, down to his defined collarbone.

Josephine's hands travel from his chest down to the taut muscles of his stomach, sliping lower, caressing him through the material of his briefs and he harden further beneath her touch.

She could feel his arousal where she was straddling him as she pressed down on his hips, and it sent a bolt of heat straight to her core. She drew a slow, careful breath and her hands tightened around his shoulders.

A grunt slipped out of his parted lips, the sound matching the dark look in his now open eyes. He always found appealing that lascivious yet lovely look on her.

He lifted his hips, pressing his hardness against her and Josephine sighed and instinctively rolled her hips against him in return. Kayden hissed against her lips and his hands moved down, holding her tightly to him as he repeated the action.

Kayden kept his eyes closed momentarily and he took a deep breath, and then his eyes opened. Holding her gaze he rolled her on her back in a swift movement and pinned her beneath him before grabbing her face and slammed his lips to her.

This kiss was almost explosive, with the way they’d been teasing each other all day, and she moaned when Kayden nibbled on her lower lip before he dragged his mouth down her neck to the sensitive spot there. She practically melted against him, and she felt him smile against her as he tugged at her skin with his teeth, then lavished the spot with his lips and tongue.

Shifting his body and lowering his head, he circles her nipple with his tongue before tugging gently with his teeth, heaving her instantly whimper softly and arching into him.

"Ohh, don't stop." She gasped, panting for breath, her heart hammering in her chest, not daring to look away.

"Oh, I assure you, we're not finished yet." Kayden said, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips as he does so. He gave her that smoldering, piercing gaze that made her swallow hard and made a shiver run down her spine.

She knows that he's playing with her, making her wait when she can hardly bare it.

"I need you... please." her voice broke in a throaty whisper, and hearing that was all it took for him to stop and look at her one more time before his touch stirred every nerve in her body and brain.

She drew a sharp breath as he entered her in one, long, steady push; pulling all the way out, before he slid inside her again until he filled her completely.The muscles of her thighs tremble and then relax as his thumb massaged high on her inner thigh while his mouth worked its magic. 

Kayden quickly wraps a hand around her wrists and pins them above her head as he thrusts his hips into her, picking up his pace. Instantly she noticed that his eyes held a row intensity, never looking away from her.

Josephine savored the feeling of him inside her, moving only to lock her legs around his waist and pull him deeper.

Repositioning a hand between them, his fingers moved with purpose, using firm movements that weren’t too hard; slow enough to draw things out, but fast enough to keep building her pleasure.

He felt her tighten around him as he continued to thrust deeper into her, the action setting off another shattering moan from her.

A deep groan escaped his lips as the tension inside him coiled tightly and his thrusts becoming more erratic every passing second.

His hips now jolted hers, spearing her with each thrust until she was reduced to shuddering gasps.

"Kayden!" She gasped, barely able to get his name out, her toes curling and back arching into him as pleasure radiated throughout her body.

Kayden followed her shortly and, after a few more deep strokes, his body went rigid, shuttering in pleasure as he found its release, breath hitching and fingers digging into her flash.

Right after that, he collapsed on top of her with a heavy sigh, burying his head in her chest, still moving shallowly into her spent body, while she tenderly ranks her fingers through his hair, crooning at him.

He took a few moments to breath, then rissing up slowly, his strong arms supporting him above her, he kissed her swollen lips twice and paused and gave her a look that Josephine could only describe as love.

"What is it, love? Are you well?" She asked but he knew she was just teasing now from the evident gleam in her eyes.

"Trust me, I am. I'm just... taking you in." He whispered, not being able to retain the intimate tone in his voice.

"But I think I'll spare you the details." He chuckled when her face flamed up a little, being aware that she caught on the hint.

After what seemed like ages he moved himself from atop her, settling on his side and tugged the sheets around their bodies before wrapping her tightly up against his chest while pressing himself in closer somehow, to her, despite already leaving no space between them.

Josephine could sense the corners of Kayden's lips lifting up to a small smile before silence fell between them. She let herself get confortable in his soothing arms, in the quietness of their house, savoring the blissful afterglow, as every bone in her body relaxed and her covered chest slowly rose and fell, gentle breaths escaping her mouth.

The world can wait, Josephine thought. As far as she's concerned this man in her bed is the only world that matters, and she intends to give him just as much love and care, if not more so, as he gifts her.

[weraceasone]

Hi Elle

Im quite new to F1, but I've been watching a lot (since im on year end break), and ive come to adore the whole grid, all 19 of them. Ive noticed Max loves to run his mouth, not sure why he thinks thats a good idea in a sport full of politicking, but it frustrates me to no end. Because I adore him at times, and I hate him at times and I can't help but feel like he's just killing his own career through ruining his relationship with other teams. He wont be in red bull forever, and with the way he runs his mouth, i doubt any team is very excited to give him a seat if his talent comes with a side of his attitude. Its so frustrating because i know he's a good driver, i always want him to do well but this mentality of his that he can just get away with things is so annoying. I hope his actions of today won't come back to bite him in the ass because i think he's champion material. I also feel reluctant to support red bull at times but I adore Checo, and i wont wish a bad car or season upon anyone, because the team of engineers and mechanics that works hard doesn't deserve it, don't deserve to have people wish them terrible results when they work so hard, just because their leaders are some assholes. I just wanted to vent my frustration because anywhere else, especially f1twt is so brutal for some noob like me haha. I hope you're having a wonderful day, Elle!

[i also wonder if you dislike max? a lot of people do, i cant blame them, but i just wanted to know :)))))]

hey Anon!

(first of all, I wanted to say that you saying F1twt is a bit brutal for new fans made me a bit sad. I just want to say that you shouldn’t ever feel bad about not knowing something, and you also shouldn’t be made to feel bad for not knowing something. what an unkind response from people to drag down another person for not knowing every single thing. always feel free to ask me anything🧡)

do I like Max? hmmm, not really. but I don’t hate him either. when you’re young and you look at the villain in a movie, there’s always this sort of moment in the movie when you realize ‘oh, they have a good side too’. I think something that I’ve realized this past year, is that as much as I wish for them to be, most people aren’t completely, from head to toe, bad. when it comes to a person, there’s no such thing as black and white. I think that’s kind of how I view Max. he can be funny. I like him with Lando and Daniel and I think the comments he sometimes makes are funny. I like how he talks about his mother and sister and I thought it was really sweet how he was reminding his team to drink during races. yet, I don’t like Max. I don’t like the way he talks about people in a negative way, I don’t like how he doesn’t kneel, and I don’t like how he never apologizes when he did something wrong. I can’t bring myself to hate him, though. I was raised in a hard way, it was nothing compared to the way Max was raised, but I was never taught to be kind; I was taught that kindness was synonymous with weakness. I had to learn how to be kind all by myself. I know how hard it is to go from a clenched fist to an open palm, and I know that you have to take your own responsibility in life and look beyond the way you were raised. I know how hard it is to see your own red flags when you were raised by bulls (I swear, no pun intended). the difference between Max and I is that I never started working in an environment that told me, from day one, I needed to be harsh, emotionless and cruel in order to survive. I was never told I couldn’t show emotion, I was never told that if words weren’t enough, my fists would also do. do I think Max should have learned from his past actions; do I think he should have learned from the way he was raised and be the exact opposite? yes, I do. am I angry with Max for not doing that? no, not necessarily. there’s this desire from people to look at another person and want them to be perfect, even to the point where we even start to believe they are perfect. we look at these drivers and so desperately project all of our ideals onto them, and when they say or do something that doesn’t fit into the image we’ve created in our heads, it feels as if our world is breaking down piece by piece. and you know… it’s not feasible. it’s such a fragile idea to believe another person is perfect. these people aren’t our perception of them, just like our friends aren’t, just like our parents aren’t. we just have an idea in our heads based on the parts they chose to show us. it’s not a real thing. they are just as much human as we are, and they have the right to disappoint us. and just like they have a right to disappoint me, I also have a right to be disappointed in them. but at the end of the day, I have a perception of him in my head that probably doesn’t completely match with reality and that awareness shouldn’t get lost somewhere in between. 

(this got super, super long. I’m sorry about that, Anon. I hope you’re having a good day! 🧡)

[borathae]

~Chapter 27~ I live for men that are not afraid of expressing their feelings so this new jungkook is a big phat yes for me. Also the anticipation for their first kiss after all this time is k.i.l.l.i.n.g. me 🙂

🖤 There You Are - ZAYN

So first of all this: "Need you when I'm broken, when I'm fixed. Need you when I'm well, when I'm sick." And then also this: "Only you know me the way you know me. Only you forgive me when I'm sorry. Even when I messed it up, there you are. Need you when I'm hot and when I'm cold. Need you when I'm young, when I'm old. You won't be far. There you are, there you are, you're there with open arms."

🖤 Better man - 5 Seconds of Summer

I mean I think it's obvious why I chose this one, immediately came to my mind as well. "Wake up to someone with nothing to say. I'd never change, thought I'd never change, then you come and change it all. With your love, your love I'm a better, better man. [...] Darling, all of my wrongs, they led me right to you. Wrapped in your arms, I swear I'd die for your love, your love."

🖤 Once in a Lifetime - One Direction

Their once in a lifetime connection 💔 "Once in a lifetime, it's just right, we make no mistakes. Not even the landslide or riptide could take it all the way. Somehow, it feels like nothing has changed. Right now, my heart is beating the same." Also this line is so fitting 🤯 "Once in a lifetime, it's just right, we are always safe. Not even the bad guys in the dark night could take it all the way."

🖤 Too Good at Goodbyes - Sam Smith

Jungkook saying “I guess I’m just still really anxious. I know it’s so annoying and unattractive” is giving me the same energy as these lyrics "You must think that I'm stupid, you must think that I'm a fool." Obviously it's not as easy yet for him to be so open with his feelings but he's really trying. And then the rest of the song is just how he used to handle his emotions in the past, i think. "I know you're thinkin' I'm heartless. I know you're thinkin' I'm cold, I'm just protectin' my innocence. I'm just protectin' my soul. I'm never gonna let you close to me even though you mean the most to me. 'Cause every time I open up, it hurts. So I'm never gonna get too close to you even when I mean the most to you. In case you go and leave me in the dirt. [...] I'm way too good at goodbyes."

🖤 TOO GOOD - Troyer Sivan

Lowkey jungkookie still doesn't feel worthy of oc's love anymore but he also knows he needs her in his life. "Scared my love, you'll go. Too good to be good for me, too bad that that's all I need."

🖤 Love Songs - Maggie Lindemann

Oc being here for her man, being understanding & supportive, not tolerating toxic masculinity bc men have feelings and can be soft, yes. "I'll take away the hurt, tell me all your fears. And if you're feelin' scared, I'll be here. You don't have to be tough with me, I'll protect you from it all. I could be your safety net, if you'd let me. 'Cause when you're happy, I'm home. Smilin' feels different with you, cryin' feels better with you. If love is a game, then I'm willin' to play 'cause somethin' was missin' 'til you, somethin' was missin' 'til you. I'll be there through your flaws, catch you if you fall. And if you call for me, I'll be there, I just wanna make you feel loved."

LISTEN ANONIE JUST FROM THE FIRST LOOK I AM HERE TO OFFICIALLY (and consensually) SMOOCH YOU ON THE CHEEK 😭😭 like the first five songs are, without kidding, on my Purple Rain writing list. I will literally sOb, you just get this story so well 😭😭💜

Putting the rest under “read more” again, because I always give such long answers hahah help 

There You Are - ZAYN

Little story time for you. This song played as I was working on Chapter 26 when OC finally gave in to her feelings and fell into Kooks arms. So catch me crying over that for a quick second 😔 liKE fuck I literally love that couple so much I am going to sob 😔 like that whole part: “Only you know me the way you know me. Only you forgive me when I'm sorry, even when I messed it up. There you are” if that isn’t Kook being so goddamn comfortable with her that he can be all messy and sick and ‘ugly’ with the knowledge that she won’t judge him for it. I will literally cRY

Better Man - 5 Seconds of Summer

again 5sos! anonie! I will :((( I don’t even know which part of the song I should choose because they are all just so freaking perfect 😭 like if Jungkook could write song, it would be this one. Let’s just say it like that. HAHAH help I now imagine Jungkook covering that song and I may have spiralled for a minute 😩

Once in a Lifetime - One Direction

Holy shit anonie I never even realised how well "Once in a lifetime, it's just right, we are always safe. Not even the bad guys in the dark night could take it all the way." describes their entire trauma with the bad guys I am- 

Seriously I don’t even know what to add because that whole song is just so goddamn perfect, I will crY 😭😭 

Also little story time for you again. This song always makes me think back to their first date. When OC took Kook up to the mountain plateau and they watched the stars together. I listened to that song when Kook told her about his time in Dubai and about how small he felt in the desert 😔

Too Good at Goodbyes - Sam Smith

Okay at first I was all like “hmm how did they connect this with Chapter 27″ and then I read your description and let me tell you. I sat there for a good 30 seconds of the song and just stared at your words, because holy shit I have never even looked at that song in this light. Goodbye (lol pun not intended) this is now the only explanation I will accept 😭 my heART IS BROKEN 💔

Too Good - Troye Sivan

You just I don’t know what to add. I am still so shook that you chose all those songs. Like do you even knOW how often I listened to that song when I worked on Purple Rain?? Anonie are we the same person? What is happening here 😭💜 This is 100% Jungkooks mind telling him that he doesn’t deserve her for all that he has done, like fuck I am ACHING 😔

Love Song - Maggie Lindemann

This is the only song I haven’t listened to before and omgmgm it’s such a cute and beautiful song I will cRY for ten hours now 🥺 lisTEN you know how I said “Better Man” would be a song Kook writes? Yes this right here is the song OC would write for him 😔 I will now sob in love 😔💜

Thank you anonie, seriously I know I am repeating myself but I really appreciate you. I know it took my ages to answer your asks, but fuck university killed me hHhahah. So spending my Sunday listening to the songs you recommended and daydreaming about all the things you said was the best me-time I could ever think of. Thank you, seriously you make my story so much better 🥺😭💜

[lovelahela]

❛ safe travels ❜ ─ hss:ca.

⇢ requested by @fandom-trauma ! i hope u like it ♡ lahelav u !

⇢ book: high school story: class act

⇢ pairing: ajay bhandari x m!mc (alex jenkins) [platonic !]

⇢ genre: fluff

⇢ prompt: ' i'm the pun master. you'll miss me when i'm gone. '

⇢ synopsis: in which alex's friends throw him a goodbye party, and it has ajay's name written all over it.

"I never did trust you, Ajay. There's something behind this. You're walking me to my death. I'll never tell my mom how much I love her. I'll never act in a Broadway musical — "

"SURPRISE!"

Alex Jenkins his sentence off to emit a rather inhumane shriek, startling Ajay into yelping as well. The former stared at the crowd of people huddle together in his living room in absolute horror, heart thundering in his quivering chest. Then, after a few seconds to process the mess that his eyes feasted upon, a grin slowly broke out on his beaming face.

"You guys!"  yelled Alex incredulously, touched by the surprise his friends planned for him. A fuzzy feeling welled up inside him, trying to fight back the tears that coated his eyes threateningly.

"We couldn't let you leave without a proper goodbye!" said Erin, smiling lovingly at the boy who had become one of her closest friends. "So we set up a lil' goodbye party for you."

"I... I don't know what to say, for once," he laughed despite himself. Ajay grinned devilishly next to him, proud of himself for having encouraged the plan initially.

"Well, you could eat the delicious cake we made for you instead!" The crowd stepped aside to show his parents standing next to their dining table, which was covered in an array of cakes and tempting snacks. Alex's mouth watered as he looked at them, but so did his eyes when he gazed upon his comrades yet again. They were much more supportive of him and his family moving out than he thought they would be. Part of him expected them to be too upset to speak to him again before he finally left. They could never know how much he wished he could stay with them or drag them along with him.

"Thanks, you guys. Thank you." His voice was almost in a whisper to disguise the cracks in his facade.

Rory didn't even try to hide his tears, his frown, and his quivering lip. He approached Alex and pulled him in for a bone-crushing hug, who let out a soft oof at the impact. "I didn't think this would ever happen, you know. As silly as it may seem, I thought it would be you and me against the world, forever."

Alex patted Rory's back reassuringly and chuckled. "It still is, Rory."

"Enough of all the sap, we made you food and party games, and you're gonna go through all of them whether you like it or not." Skye waved them off dismissively, but Alex knew it was to prevent herself from getting emotional as well.

He approached the table full of delicious foods and felt a presence next to him. He turned his head curiously and grinned once he saw the bespectacled face of Ajay Bhandari.

"I see Ajay written all over this," he said while gesturing wildly to the decorated room. Ajay laughed softly.

"As much as I'd love to take all the credit, this was all of us. I just gave it a little push." A small smile played at his lips. He tried not to be too affected by his close friend moving away, and it worked, mostly. He couldn't fight the twinge of sadness that twisted his insides at the thought of severing contact with Alex Jenkins. "Besides, I couldn't wait to get rid of you."

Alex scoffed. "Psh. I'm the pun master. You'll miss me when I'm gone."

Ajay snorted despite himself. "Yeah, right." But even with his effort, his smile dissolved into a frown after he processed the last words of his sentence. You'll miss me I'm gone.

"Maybe I will," he mumbled quietly, earning a confused stare from Alex.

"What was that?" he asked while tilting his head slightly at him before he, too, waved him off. "Forget that. Do you know what they call the wife of a hippie?"

The bespectacled boy threw his head back and groaned painfully. "Please don't. If you have any ounce of affection for me, do not."

Alex grinned mischievously, much to Ajay's dismay. "...Mississippi."

[anarcoqueer1994]

Tiny Dancer

So like this was supposed to be a short 500 word dabble but like 1500 words is cool too. It's a angsty(very mild) fluff Ambi piece with Tyrus mentioned so there's that.

"TJ, I promise it's not a big deal." Amber insists, putting on a fake smile.

"Ambs, it is. I can tell when you are upset." He sits down on the edge of his sister's bed as she continues getting ready. He really does feel horrible. Their dad had to work second shift today, their mom had a few extra students scheduled for this evening, and he has a basketball game. Usually this wouldn't be a huge deal but tonight was different.

 Amber had qualified for a regional dance competition without a formal teacher. Her parents couldn't afford lessons so she taught herself how to dance. She worked so hard to get in there, the 16-17 age group being the most competitive. TJ hated that no one in the family was going to make it.

"Like I said, I'm fine. Just go get ready for your game." She pushes. TJ gets the hint, and walks to the door. Before he leaves, he stops one more time. "I'm sorry."

"Don't  be." She says plainly before turning her back to him and waiting to hear the door close. When it does though, it takes everything in her not to cry. She wasn't  upset with TJ, he was captain of the Jr. Varsity basketball team at school so he couldn't miss a game. Plus it is the first game of the season.

No, she was upset with her parents. She had told them weeks ago about the competition and they had both absentmindedly said they would be their. But they both forgot and did not clear their schedules in time. She wanted to be understanding. After all they did need the money but she also knew it wasn't fair.

They had always been a sports family. Her parents gladly took off work last year when TJ's team made the district championship...again. When it came to sports, their family always made time. For god sakes, the reason she had dated Jonah originally was because he sorta was an athlete and she thought maybe her parents would care about her more, the way they supported TJ.

Her interests were always put on the back burner. When she used to play chess competitively, she would bug her parents all the time to play with her but they were always too busy. They somehow were never busy though when her little brother wanted to play a pick-up game in the driveway. Same with dance lessons, they never had money to help her with that. But they would always scrape together cash to get TJ new basketball shoes or whatever else he needed. She just, for one night, wanted her parents to support her the way they supported TJ. Of course she is never going to tell her brother. It would make him feel terrible and she knows it's not his fault. 

So she was going alone to this competition. The only other person, other than her parents, that she wanted there, was Andi. She was going to ask her to come a few weeks ago when she found out she qualified but right as she was about to an atom bomb dropped on her plans.

***********

They had been sitting in The Spoon, just the two of them. Amber was on break and was enjoying Andi's company while she waiting for the rest of the GHC to show up.

"Hey Bambi, I have some kind of exciting news…" The blonde smiles as she reaches across the table to interlock her fingers with Andi's."

"Oh yeah? What is it?" The younger girl beams back.

Right as she opened her lips to speak, Buffy and Cyrus come rushing in. Well actually more Cyrus, but Buffy keeps up. He stands at the table and says "Guys, TJ's first high school basketball game is in a few weeks! We are going to be the best fans! I already got so many sign puns! You guys will be there too, right? I want it to be special for him." Cyrus looks around giving those puppy dog eyes.

Buffy and Andi laugh at their adorable,  dork friend and his overzealous attempt to support his boyfriend. 

"Yea of course, Cy." Buffy smiles with Andi nodding in agreement.

Amber's heart drops. She forgot about TJ's game. She wasn't about to make Andi choose. It wasn't fair. So she changes her mind about telling her Andi the news.

"I um...have to get back to work." Amber says as she gets up suddenly.

"Wait, Ambs? Didn't you have something to tell me?" Andi asks.

"Um it's not important." She gives her a little smile before walking back behind the counter and to the back. It's the best she can do to conceal her disappointment.

**************

Amber arrived at the theater hall where the competition was about to start. She watches as the younger classes in the solo dance categories performed, waiting for her group, who would be the last to perform.

She kept holding out hope that her parents would magically show up. They didn't. When it was her turn to perform, she stepped onto the stage and waited for her music to start. As she did, she took one last look at the crowd to check for them. It was useless. She couldn't make out the faces in the crowd with the bright spot light on her. But they could see her, looking like a goddess. Her long blonde hair was down, and looked amazing against her white leotard with a shear, shimmering skirt.

When her music started every negative emotion melted away. Actually that wasn't true, she more danced into her emotions, using them to push her body into beautiful, intense, elegant strides. When she finished, not a single person in there was in their seats. The crowd gave her a standing ovation and for the first time in a while,  she felt like she mattered. At the award ceremony, Amber easily won first in her age group.

Afterwards, she is backstage packing up, when she hears a familiar voice coming up behind her.

"You were amazing!" Andi's voice radiates through the room. Amber quickly turns around.

"Bambi? What are you doing here?" Amber chokes out.

"What does it look like? Supporting my amazing, championship winning, girlfriend." Andi replies excitedly and she steps closer to the dancer.

"How did you even know?" She looks down at her feet.

"TJ told me last week." Andi answers softly before placing her hands on either side of Amber's hips. Amber instinctively rests her arms over Andi's shoulders.  "The question is, why didn't you tell me?"

She doesn't know why Andi being so close still makes her heart want to pound so hard that it feels like it is going to fly out of her chest. She clears her throat to compose herself. "Cyrus had already asked you guys to go to my brother's game and I didn't want to make you choose."

"Amber, it wouldn't of been a choice because it's always going to be you. Don't get me wrong, I think TJ is so good to Cyrus and I like him a lot too. He's a great guy. But he was not the Kippen I wanted to support tonight." Andi watches as Amber's cheeks turn a telling shade of pink as she speaks. She thinks it's adorable.

"Hey Andi?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Thank you…"

"Don't thank me. You have no idea how happy I am to be here with you." Suddenly her face lights up like she just remembered something. She temporarily removes her hand from Amber long enough to reach in her pocket and pulls out a small velvet drawstring bag. "I made you something." 

Amber takes the small gift and opens it up. Inside is a beautiful choker necklace adorned with small wooden beads. In the center was a large Amber pendant set in a metal backing. When she flipped it over, she read a small engraving on the metal that read "You're my favorite. -Bambi."

"Its beautiful." She shoots Andi a huge, warm smile. "Would you help me put in on?"

"Of course."

As Andi walks behind Amber and moves her hair so she clasp the necklace around her neck, Amber realizes something.

"I love you…" Amber says so quietly that Andi had to strain to hear her. And Amber did. This felt so different from the time she thought she loved Jonah. That had felt like a way to drive away loneliness, guided by insecurity and misguided feelings. But this felt so pure and intense and she knew in that moment that she loved Andi like she has never loved anyone in her whole life.

Andi walks slowly from behind Amber, having successfully put the necklace on. Her face looks unsure.

"Oh god…" the blonde says. "I blew it...I was too intense...I'm sorry." Her heart drops into her stomach thinking about losing this amazing girl.

 "No, I just wanted to make sure I heard you right...because I love you too." Andi smiles, while pushing Amber's long locks behind her ear.