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join-the-joywrite · 4 years ago

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and I don't want to (but I love you)

@jatp-week Day 6: favourite trope

Not me doing a self-indulgent and stupidly long enemies to lovers au :>

Julie Molina didn't have enemies in her life. She had competitors, sure. Everyone did. But Sunset Curve took the whole cake. She didn't have enemies but Luke Patterson came dangerously close.

Luke Patterson, on the other hand, fully considered Julie Molina his number one enemy. He had zero qualms about saying that to her face and behind her back. He knew his band was the best but Julie had a real knack for knocking his ego down a bit and he hated her for it. Maybe he wouldn't get so riled up if she was nice about it or if not nice, she was less nasty and more stern. Honestly, it seemed like she took pleasure in criticizing Sunset Curve.

The rivalry between them extended to their bands and friend circles. Well, for the most part, anyway. Julie and Luke let Willie and Alex get away with their little forbidden lovers thing because they both thought the pair was cute together. It was pretty much the only thing they agreed on. Ever.

Willie only ever talked about Alex, not the band and Alex made sure to steer clear of mentioning Julie whenever he talked about Willie. The arrangement worked for all sides.

Julie and Luke's rivalry extended far beyond their music. It crept into their classes and had them fighting for the top spot. The teachers were thrilled. It meant Luke put in as much effort as he possibly could into every assignment or test. Even if it was out of pure spite, it was working.

And then, oh dear, and then there was a group project. Obviously, they split to opposite ends of the room with their friends to choose pairs (except Willie and Alex, who were shoved together and assured it was perfect) but apparently, it was important to learn how to work with people you dislike because in the workplace you might be forced to work with people you dislike -- or something like that.

Julie and Luke had never let their rivalry coerce them into doing stupid things -- except the one time where Carrie was convinced Luke could hold his breath longer and Julie almost drowned in the school pool to prove Carrie wrong -- but the moment they were paired up, Julie and Luke both wanted nothing more than to break several school rules, vandalism being the top one and starting violent fights being the second. It was unclear if they wanted to fight each other or their teacher.

Matters were made worse when their friends got to pair off together on their own terms while they were stuck with each other. The only thing keeping them from completely refusing to do any work was that they both were still competing for the highest scores.

Their friends had never been more entertained and the two opposing groups bonded over watching the two most stubborn people they knew suffer out a school project together. The clear awkwardness between them was hilarious and it was a pleasant thing to see them sitting at the same table and not trying to verbally murder each other. Bobby turned out to be the funniest person in the whole group. He had a meme-y caption for every moment they caught of Julie and Luke sitting near enough to have a normal conversation and the others loved it. He also seemed to be able to relate all the memes to the pair and was strangely good at photoshop, which earned him the Groupchat King title. (Julie and Luke were completely unaware of this groupchat excluding only them -- which, for the others' safety, was for the best.) Flynn's favourite was a photo of Julie with a feral look on her face, miming strangling a smug Luke. Me & 2020 was Bobby's winning caption. She wasn't sure which was which and that made it even better, in her opinion.

As the weeks passed, Julie and Luke's rivalry mellowed. As far as they said, it was still going strong but their actions told another story. There were playful nudges in the hallway, now. Teasing death glares across a classroom. Locked gazes and stifled giggles at inside jokes -- the fact that they even had those was surprising enough. They willingly shared a lunch table for the sole purpose of interrupting a mini date between Willie and Alex but most of it was spent in their own world anyway. Their mockery of each other had become gentler and more harmless teasing than anything.

And then one Tuesday, Luke didn't show up at school.

Of course, Luke's band knew exactly what was up, but they -- with support from Julie's friends -- decided it would be fun to play dumb and send Julie to Luke's house, just to check up on him, you know, despite the fact that the group project was long over and she really had no need to meddle further into Luke's life. The mere fact that Julie forgot she still had class and was seriously ready to leave immediately said a lot.

"I can promise you that it's really not as bad as it looks," Luke said from under several pillows, a puffy duvet and maybe three stuffed animals, "but there's no band practice today and I'm not coming to school tomorrow either so can one of you flick Julie's forehead for me? It's tradition."

"Band practice, huh?" Julie said, dropping her bag on the floor with a soft thud. "And here I thought you just had nothing more interesting going on in your life than disrupting mine."

Luke sat up fast enough that his head spun, his vision swam and two pillows fell off the bed. "Who told you where I live?"

"You did, dork. Here, I brought your homework and my dad's trying something out in the kitchen. He misread balf the recipe so it's the blandest thing I've ever tasted but if you're sick, it'll be good for you."

Luke responded to the bit that made sense. "I don't want bland food," he said, scrunching up his nose as Julie set a small stack of papers on the desk in the corner and walked up to him with a covered bowl.

"As if you'd know the difference. Your mom said you can't taste anything anyway."

"You talked to my mom?" Luke asked, looking mortified.

"Yeah, duh. What, did you think I climbed through your bedroom window? I don't care that much for you."

"Aww, I knew you cared for me."

Julie didn't respond to it. "So this is supposed to be a vegetable stew," she said, tapping the plastic wrap over the bowl, "but like I said, mistakes were made."

"Well, what is it then?" Luke asked, leaning over to peer at the bowl.

"I'd call it . . . semi-flavoured water with surprise veggies."

"Joy."

"I know, right? Anyway, I'll leave you to your . . . pillow fort? Cute stuffies. I have the same penguin."

Luke glanced at the penguin that was still secured in his arm. "Don't you dare tell your friends. Especially not Flynn. She's ruthless."

"She is not. But fine, only because you're sick. I'll be back for my bowl tomorrow and it better be empty."

Luke watched Julie leave with a look of amazement. As soon as he heard his front door close, footsteps pattered through the hallway, leading up to his mother sticking her head in his room. "I like her."

"I'm going back to sleep," Luke said, diving back into the safety of all his pillows, wondering if it was the fever or Julie that set his cheeks blazing.

Probably the fever.

"Good afternoon, dork. Reggie says you said you liked the semi-flavoured water and my dad felt very appreciated by that so he's made some actual stew for you to try. It's beef stew this time so please don't get surprised. Did you do yesterday's homework? You should, because I brought today's. How do you feel?"

Luke, who had been staring at Julie with his mouth slightly open in a perfect picture of surprise, blinked when he realised she'd stopped speaking. "Don't you knock?!"

"Your mom said you were asleep and I could just leave everything here for you but you were awake so. . ." Julie trailed off, shrugging.

"You . . . you are so strange."

Julie shrugged as she set the homework down on the desk and walked up to the nightstand to put the covered bowl down in Luke's reach. "You need to come back to school. I feel bad bullying your friends."

"I'm sure they'll be glad to hear that," Luke said sarcastically. He paused for a second. "Yeah, I did the homework. Most of it. My mom said it'll help to get out of bed and do something. I tried to play the guitar but she was adamant I didn't do that something."

Julie nodded and walked back to Luke's desk. She rifled through the mess and picked up all the homework. "I'll finish this essay for you," she said almost absently, searching among the pages. "Please tell me you did your science homework. I got a lot of that wrong and no one wants to give me the answers because apparently, I should learn my work."

"Uh . . . yeah. Um, yeah, I did the science. Wh-- what do you mean 'do the essay' for me?"

Julie looked up as she gathered everything into a pile of messy and uneven papers. "It's on the African American civil rights movement. It's factual and ninety percent of the class will have the same essay anyway so--"

"No. No, I mean . . . why?"

"Oh. Uh . . . why not?"

Luke didn't have a response, so he fell silent.

"Well, that's all of yesterday's homework. Get some rest and then make sure you eat. I can't have my favourite punching bag get too weak to take a hit."

As Julie turned and left his room, Luke felt the sudden urge to scream, so instead, he slammed his burning face into his favourite penguin. Yes, she had called him a punching bag, but she'd also called him her favourite.

"Music class just isn't the same without booing you. Also, Alex said you managed to keep the beef stew down yesterday so my dad thought you could try something a little heavier. This is an experimental chicken and fried rice . . . thing. I do not reccomend eating unless you're sure you're okay enough for a full meal. That said, I brought more beef stew in case you're not up for the chicken and rice."

"You can't just walk in unannounced!" Luke cried as Julie set down the two bowls on the nightstand.

"I can, actually," Julie said, flashing a set of keys at Luke.

Luke's jaw dropped when he recognized the keychains. "Hey, those are mine!"

"Wow, so observant. Your mom gave it to me before I left yesterday because your dad is at work and she needed to go out today and with you holed up in here, there wouldn't be anyone to open for me."

Luke frowned. "Oh, yeah, she said something like that but I was half-asleep."

Julie was pleasantly surprised to find Luke's homework neatly gathered at the corner of the desk. It didn't escape her how Luke seemed to glow with pride when she commented on it. She had to fight a smile as she dropped Luke's homework into her bag.

"Get some rest, dork. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call someone from Sunset Swerve. I'll be busy."

"It's Sunset CURVE and you know it."

"Really? I never noticed."

Luke pouted. "Tuxedo Sam says you're being very mean right now. I'm sick and I deserve care."

"Well, you can tell your stupid penguin that Skipper will beat his ass."

"You named your penguin after the penguins from Madagascar?"

"You call yours Tuxedo Sam."

"Yeah, okay, that's fair."

Julie rolled her eyes and turned to leave. "Take a nap, Moody McSleeveless."

Luke glanced at the penguin laying nearby as he heard Julie lock up the house again. "Don't look at me like that, she's mean all the time."

"I BROUGHT CAKE!"

Luke scrambled up, launching Tuxedo Sam off the bed. "Who died?"

"No one died," Julie said, picking up the penguin as she walked up to Luke's bed. "It's Friday and since you're doing a little better, I thought you could do with a small treat. Tuxedo Sam agrees."

"Give me back my penguin," Luke said, reaching both arms out to Julie.

"Did you do yesterday's homework?"

"Yes."

"Did you really eat both bowls of food yesterday?"

"Yes."

"And keep it down?"

"Yes, ma'am, now can I please have my penguin back?"

Julie passed Luke the stuffed animal. "You're adorable," she blurted, turning away immediately to hide her own stunned look. She cleared her throat as she headed to the desk to grab Luke's homework. "So, that group project? We got a ninety-five."

That distracted Luke easily enough. "What happened to the other five?!"

"We're very bad at teamwork," Julie said, glancing back at Luke over her shoulder to see him relax against the pillows.

"Ah. That . . . makes sense."

Julie nodded. "Mhm."

The silence that blanketed the room wasn't as awkward as it should have been.

"I have to go. Most of the teachers said it would be okay to get your homework on Monday, but Mr Hughes is on my tail about your chemistry paper. My dad is making cupcakes tonight for some reason and I told Willie he could have some, so I'll send extra with him to give to Alex to give to you, but enjoy that crappy store cake for now. I left proper lunch with your mom for when you feel like it."

It didn't register that the only reason Mr Hughes would be harassing Julie about Luke's homework was if Julie herself had taken responsibility for Luke. Well, it did register, but by then, Julie was long gone and the only response Luke could muster was a muffled scream into poor Tuxedo Sam.

"Oh, ew, gross. Luke, it smells like the middle school locker room in here. What were you doing?"

Luke had never looked more sheepish in his life as he pointed to the canister on his nightstand -- right next to his alarm clock. "My phone went off about an hour ago and I thought it was the alarm so I did the smart thing and slammed it down but I missed. Obviously."

Holding her nose, Julie dropped everything she was carrying on Luke's table and tore the curtains open, pushing the windows as far as they could go. She stood there for a moment, relishing in the fresh air. "I'll come back inside when I can breathe," Julie said, halfway out the window.

Luke wanted to melt into his pillows. A week later and he was only feeling slightly better. The pros of it was that Julie visited every day with something tasty and a level of snark that only amused him. The cons of it was that Julie visited every day and left him flustered and red in the face.

He firmly believed that Julie only came by every day because she had homework to drop off, but today was Saturday. There was no more homework to drop off.

And she could have just backtracked right out the door again but instead, she headed for the windows on the other side of his room. Why?

Because she's taking care of you, dork.

Luke couldn't help but think that the logical voice in his head sounded suspiciously like Julie.

"Hey, my parents have some stupid couple's yoga thing on Saturdays. Did you break in?"

Julie pulled the windows halfway closed and stepped back into the room. "No, I still have your keys. Your dad tried to give me the spare key to the front door but your mom said it'll be fine if I kept yours until you're back on your feet."

"Wow. She really trusts you, huh?"

Julie shrugged. "I'm a very trustworthy person."

"No, you're not. I saw you lose a pen that you stuck behind your ear and then you proceeded to lose three more by tucking them behind your other ear and in your pockets. You then tried to steal mine."

"I was fourteen," Julie said defensively.

"It happened last week!"

"I felt fourteen."

Luke gave Julie a deadpan look.

"Cute pyjamas."

"I know, right? Bobby got us matching ones when we were like fifteen for band bonding. I mean, I grew out of the pants but the shirt still fits."

Julie scoffed as she stared at the dark haired cartoon smiling at her from the pink shirt. "Looks really good on you, Skip."

"Hey, I like being Skipper. She's Barbie's most intelligent sister."

"Oh, yeah?" Luke didn't even notice that Julie had made herself comfortable at the foot of his bed. "And if you're Skipper, who are the others?"

"Bobby is Chelsea, 'cause he's the youngest of us, Alex is Barbie, 'cause his summer jobs have been everywhere, and Reg is Stacie, 'cause she's Bobby's favourite and Bobby's favourite bandmate is Reg."

Julie's head tilted slightly. "You sound drunk."

"The bottle said one teaspoon of cough syrup but I didn't read and I took two tablespoons. It's okay, though. Mom panicked and called the doctor and he says the cough syrup he gave me is for kids and I'm just really, really, really intolerant. Which you should remember for me because I plan to be super famous with the band and there are gonna be a lot of after parties and I don't wanna get drunk five minutes in. I think the cough syrup is kicking in."

"Luke Patterson, you are unbelievable."

"I know, right?" He attempted a winning smile, but it came off as plain childlike.

Julie chastised herself for finding him adorable. They were mortal enemies and she had to remember that. Then what are you doing in his room on a Saturday, after explicitly telling the rest of his band to stay away?

Julie found it unnerving how much the voice in her head sounded like a teasing Luke.

"You're like, really annoying."

Julie frowned. "I -- I'm sorry?"

"You should be." Luke was sitting cross-legged now, fiddling with the ears of a stuffed bunny. "It's really messing with my head."

Julie decided she liked tipsy Luke -- even if it was just cough syrup. "How so?"

"No, it's nothing."

"You can tell me, Luke. I promised not to tell anyone about your stuffed animals and I kept it, right?"

"Yeah, but this time the secret about you. You're not allowed to know."

Curiosity more than anything made Julie lean forward slightly. "It'll be our secret."

"Okay, but you have to promise not to talk about it."

Julie nodded quickly. Luke tugged at the bunny's ears for a moment.

"You're like . . . really pretty."

Julie couldn't help the soft laugh that bubbled out of her. Adorable, she thought.

"Like, a lot of pretty. You're pretty on the inside, too."

"On the inside?"

"Yeah. On the inside. You know, your heart."

"M-my heart?"

Luke nodded at his stuffed rabbit. "Yeah. You have a really pretty heart. It beats like a drum. Making music. Like you."

Julie's mouth hung open, surprise silencing her.

"You have the prettiest music in you. I can hear it like -- like a song that gets stuck in my head all day. It's really annoying but it's so pretty. It smells like flowers and it looks like butterflies."

At this point, Julie didn't think she'd be able to speak, even if she knew what to say. Luke was talking to the stuffed animal, frowning as he struggled to voice his thoughts understandably.

"Sometimes it's just so loud and I wanna cover my ears and run away but it just gets louder and louder and then you come over and you're saying something mean but the music is there and it's not so loud anymore but I still can't hear anything else. Your heart sounds like a ballad."

Julie was frozen to her seat at the edge of the bed. Part of her wondered if it was Luke talking or the fever. Part of her desperately hoped it was Luke.

"Julie, you are music."

It was a simple sentence. Anyone could have said it. It could mean a lot or it could mean nothing at all. If anyone else had said it to her, she would have taken it as the highest form of a compliment. But that wasn't what Luke was saying.

Everyone knew that Luke spoke best through lyrics and chords. His books and desks were covered in etched notes and scribbled words. Luke lived and breathed music. It was everything to him. Without it, Luke didn't know who he was.

And he compared it to Julie.

Julie stared at the text on her phone. She bit her lower lip, unsure of what to say in response.

Mom said you visited yesterday. I was dazed for most of it. I didn't say anything stupid or incriminating, right? Not that anything could be more incriminating than the three stuffed animals on my bed.

Ten minutes after that, another had come through. Jules, are you ignoring me? Did I do something?

Then another five minutes later. This is still Julie Molina's number, right?

Julie quickly typed out something before she chickened out again and tossed her phone to the foot of her bed once it was sent.

Hey. Got busy in the kitchen with dad. No, you're good. See you at school tomorrow?

Julie scrambled for her phone to send one last word.

A few streets away, Luke stared at the word 'dork'. He was sure he had said something. He vaguely remembered yapping on about music to Julie -- duh, what else did they share? -- and then suddenly, she wasn't there anymore. He wondered if he'd fallen asleep talking and Julie had left then or if he really had said something to make her leave.

Yeah, he wrote back, see you at school.

Luke cornered Julie as soon as he caught sight of her in the school hallway. "You've been ignoring me and I don't like that."

Julie squeaked. "I most definitely am not ignoring you."

"Julie, you're pretty much the only person in this school that doesn't keep their phone on mute or vibrate. I know you heard my texts yesterday."

"So what if I am?" Julie asked, folding her arms. "We're not friends, so why should you care if I reply to your texts or not? In fact, why were you even messaging me in the first place?"

While Luke fumbled for a response, Julie slipped past him and continued on her way to class.

"Oh, that is just rude!" Luke yelled after Julie.

She ignored him all through any classes they shared and when lunch rolled around, she made sure to sit with Carrie and Flynn at a small table. Luke had never looked more offended in his life as he joined Reggie in sitting with Alex and Willie.

"What did you do on Saturday?" Alex asked, leaning forward to whisper. "Julie was fine when she told us we don't need to come by at all."

"Julie told you not to come over?" Luke asked, ripping his gaze from Julie to Alex and then Reggie, who shook his head.

"Bro, she actually called Alex and told him that we don't need to come see you because she was going to."

"Yeah, I remember her being there but I was drugged up on cough syrup."

"Weak," Alex whispered loudly, grinning when he made Willie laugh.

"Maybe you said something?" Willie suggested.

"Yeah, probably! But she's not talking to me. She's not even insulting me, which I would very much prefer over this apathy."

"You know where she lives," Reggie said dismissively. "Maybe you should pay her a visit."

Luke glanced across the cafeteria to see Julie quickly whip her head down to stare at her fold. "Yeah. Maybe."

Julie was tired and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep. Her plans were thrown way off the rails when she walked into her room and found Luke petering around the shelves beside her bed.

"What are you doing here?"

Luke drew his hand back sharply. "Cute box. What's in it?"

"None of your business," Julie snapped, hurriedly closing her bedroom door. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you but you were ignoring me and--"

"You could've just yelled at me from outside," Julie hissed. "I would have come down to shut you up! You can't be in here. Get out of my room."

"No. Not until you tell me why you've been avoiding me since Saturday. Jules, what--"

"Fine! Go and wait for me in the garage. I'll come talk to you in there."

Luke hesitated, unsure if Julie was serious.

When she heard footsteps getting closer, Julie grabbed Luke by the neckline of his shirt and dragged him to the window. "Get out," she whispered hurriedly, "I'll come down to the garage, I promise."

Thankfully, by the time her father arrived, Luke was gone.

"Who were you talking to, mija?"

"Luke," Julie said with a smile. She pointed at the phone. "He liked the cupcakes I sent with Willie."

"Oh, that's great. You didn't take something yesterday and today? Is he feeling better?"

"Much," Julie said, nodding, "in fact, we have some talking to do, so I'm gonna meet him in the garage in a few minutes."

"So late?"

Julie absolutely could not lie to her dad. But she could do half truths. "It's a long overdue discussion."

"School work?"

Julie shrugged. "Music."

"Ah. The garage makes sense. Well, do you wanna take some food down? Midnight snack?"

"Thanks, dad," Julie said with a smile, "you're the best."

"Oh, your dad is the best!" Luke cried as soon as he saw Julie walk in with a plate of cookies.

"These are experimental, too. They're some kind of oatmeal and choc mint blend. They taste good, in my opinion."

"Everything your dad makes tastes good," Luke said, grabbing three cookies. "My mom's starting to get jealous of how much I love your dad's cooking."

Juli smiled and set the plate down on the coffee table. Was there any point beating around the bush? Sugarcoating things?

"You told me I was music."

Luke paused, one and a half cookies gone. "What?"

Julie kept her gaze trained on the tassels of the carpet. "You told me I'm annoying . . . because I'm pretty. Because I have a pretty heart. You said it beats like a drum and I have the prettiest music in me that gets stuck in your head. It --"

"Smells like spring and looks like butterflies. . ." Luke looked positively mortified.

Julie, refusing to look up, did not notice. "You said . . . you said my heart sounds like a ballad and then -- and then you told me I am music."

Had he really said all that aloud? Well, no wonder Julie was avoiding him like the plague.

Julie tensed up when she could see Luke's feet step in front of her. Almost every part of her screamed that this was wrong. They shouldn't be so close without bickering and fighting. But deeper within, beyond the confines of logic and sense, Luke's voice told her that this was the furthest thing from wrong.

"I said all that? Aloud?"

Julie nodded.

"You know what music is to me."

Julie nodded again.

"Jules," Luke said gently. "Julie, look at me."

Julie refused to, so Luke gingerly tucked his finger under her chin and lifted her head, waiting until her gaze fell on him before speaking.

"You know what music is to me," he said again, prompting another nod from Julie. "Then you know what you mean to me."

Julie blinked a few times and shook her head. "No. No, that's just the fever talking. You -- you didn't really mean all of that."

"If you really believe that, why are you avoiding me?"

"I . . . I don't know."

Luke dropped his hand to take hold of Julie's. He glanced at her, waiting for her to pull away. When she didn't, he interlocked his fingers with hers. "I meant every word. Okay, maybe not literally, but you know what I mean."

Julie shook her head. "We're not even friends, Luke."

"Hm, well, who said I wanted to be your friend?"

Julie wanted to hate Luke. She wanted to loathe the sight of him. She didn't want to like him, let alone love him.

And yet, she did.

So before the overthinker in her could stop her, Julie leaned up on tiptoes and brushed her lips against his. Luke beamed at her like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Not the response I was expecting, but definitely one I'm enjoying."

"Don't make me regret it."

"Yes, ma'am. Now, what are my chances of getting two more? And one for the road? Within the next five seconds becaus my mom doesn't know I snuck out and she think I'm still sick."

"Dork," Julie said fondly, shaking her head.

"I'm serious!"

"You can have two."

"Three."

"Two."

"Four."

"One."

"Two will do," Luke said, letting go of Julie's hands to wrap his arms around her. He gave her a small squeeze. "Plus a hug."

"Dork," Julie said again. But he was her dork and he was her favourite.

Before anyone comes for me about the cough syrup thing, I'm drawing from experience. I mean I never confessed my undying love for anyone but I did blurt out some weird shit. Also, THAT WAS LONG AND IF YOU SURVIVED THE ENTIRE THING, CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU

Mara's masterlist

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the fat ones #julie and the himbos #jatp #juke #julie x luke #julie molina #luke patterson #sunset curve #jatpweek

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fandomtookoverlife · 4 years ago

Text

Home for Christmas

Pairings: Hotch x gn!reader, Jack x maternal!reader

Summary: you take steps towards your future with your boyfriend and his son, and it just so happens you be your favourite time of year🎄🎄

Warning: swearing(?)

Words: 4.7 k

Category: fluff

A/N: wow this one turned out longer than I expected😳😂, it’s my longest fic yet so I hope you like it. (It’s not proof read to my standards so take it with a grain of salt)

And yes btw I did Photoshop the picture at the end, why, you ask, did I do so much extra work even though I was on a time crunch, you know what that’s a good question, the answer is because I couldn’t find one I liked so screw it I’ll make it myself, I hate my self 😂😂

I have the outline for spiral part two so that should be what I post next.(the unfinished outline is like 600 words or smth😳 maybe I’ll post a little of it) Anyways hope you enjoy 😘😘

Other blog: @mac99martin

Masterlist

---

It’s December 1st, in your opinion it’s the best time of year and one of the best days. December 1st, ever since you were a child, has always been the day you decorate for Christmas: tree, lights, ornaments, Christmas themed knick-knacks, the whole shabang, Now, you prefer a real tree, traditions die hard and all, but when you got your own place and since you lived on your own, you’ve settled on a fake in your adult life. So while this morning you put up your fake tree and decorate your apartment, this afternoon you got to live vicariously through your boyfriend and his son when you went with them to get a tree and decorate their house.

Now you are doing the finishing touches on the house’s decorations, Jack has begged you to come and decorate with him. And Aaron, well apparently decorating is not his forté so he didn’t mind the help. Speaking of Jack you have no idea where he ran off to, he had been acting weird all morning. While days prior he had begged you to come over, he had been acting cold towards you all day and now was nowhere to be seen. Aaron hadn’t said anything to you so you chalked it up to kids being kids. Besides children's attention spans are not great, so he probably just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and then got bored.

A little while later you had finish perfecting the house and you venture into the kitchen to find two boys making hot chocolate you had to smile to yourself, they were just the cutest, jack was on a step stool so that he could reach the stove and Aaron was next to him watching him like a hawk making sure he didn’t burn himself. They were smiling and laughing, Jack launched off the stool and ran around the kitchen climbing the counter coming down with a bag of mini marshmallows. You really do love watching them together, sometimes you catch yourself thinking, “my boys” but they're not yours. Sometimes you get caught up in your thoughts that you fool yourself into thinking you’re a part of their family, it’s dumb really, but you forget and you can see yourself in that place, having that family. But like all good things, they come to an end and you have to remind yourself, that's not your place, and you wonder if it ever will be.

Aaron catches your eye, he has a giant smile on his face, as he does anytime he is with his son. Jack went to grab mugs for the hot chocolate, he grabbed two, you tried to chalk it up to that he's a kid and he only has two small hands, he probably didn’t even know his implication. None the less you smiled as Aaron grabbed the third mug and poured some in each handing them out. He tried to distract Jack from the giant bag of marshmallows, that kid really didn’t need more sugar, he failed but it’s always worth a try. You all mitigated to the living room, wrapping up the festive day with a classic Christmas movie. And again something was off, Jack barely said a word to you and sat on the other side of his dad. He always does that cute thing of snuggling in the small crevice between you and Aaron, but not today.

Eventually, the day came to an end. Jack was in bed, after barely saying goodnight to you, and you and Aaron were snuggling on the couch, “Is everything alright?”

“Of course it is, why wouldn’t it be”

“I don't know, Jack, he was just acting weird today,'' Aaron had this strange look on his face. You knew that he noticed it, but there was something else there, but god, you have no idea what it could be, something was wrong wasn’t it? “D-did I do something?”

The last thing that Aaron wanted was for you to think you did something wrong, that you were anything less than perfect. He was the one that was, he doesn’t want to say wrong, because you could never feel wrong to him, you feel so right in every way, and he can’t screw that up. But he doesn't know how to not screw anything up, with you or his son, or between you and his son, which he did, but also has the one thing he wants to right now.

“No, no, of course not honey, me and Jack were just talking last night, and, and it didn't go how I had planned.”

“But he was fine with you today, he was basically stuck to your side all day, it was me he was avoiding”

Shit, this was all his fault, what you don’t know is that the reason Jack was avoiding you today, the conversation they had last night, was about you. Aaron wants so desperately for you to be a part of his family, and that's what he and Jack were talking about last night, but Jack didn’t respond well to the sentiment, he didn’t explain why, he just climbed up and said he was going to bed, not that the why was a very hard guess for any father, never mind one that was a profiler. And then you were here, and Jack was acting weird towards you, and how could you not notice, but now you were thinking it was your fault when that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“No, that's not what was happening, I promise,” he hopes anyway, “I’m sorry it's my fault, I don't know why he was acting like that, I’m sorry it ruined the day, I know how much you love it.”

“No no it didn’t, I just, don’t want to screw anything up.” you snuggled into his chest, sensing that he wasn’t going to say anything more of his explanation, just continuing with his reassurances

He only hopes you believe him.

Aaron really did feel horrible that he caused a rift in your relationship with Jack, he wanted to fix it, he did, but he was nervous. You and Jack are the most important people in his life, he just wanted everything to be perfect but what if he couldn’t do that? What if he tried and he made things worse again? With a million thoughts running through his brain he really didn’t know what to do.

Thankfully Jack’s mood only lasted 3 more days, correction 3 more very long days, which was all spent with you. Spending so many days in a row with you was not unusual in the slightest, the only unusual thing was Jack’s enthusiasm, more accurately lack thereof. He never said anything about it, mostly because he wasn’t saying much, but he just kept away from you. Over the course of the three days, he got better, until the fourth he went completely back to normal as if nothing happened. Aaron, if he was being honest, was very relieved when Jack went back to his normal self, the only problem was that something had happened and he needed to talk to his son about it.

It was December 7th, Aaron took Jack out for the day, doing this and that's, it was a nice father and son day, but it was just a cover for the conversation that he wanted to have. The day was done, they were finishing up dinner when Aaron finally built up the courage, “jack?” jack simply looked up at his father, a smile still on his face, god I hope that smile stays, “can I talk to you about the other day?”

Jack thought about it, but ultimately decided, “what do you mean?”

Deep breath, choose these words carefully, “you know the other day before you went to bed, we had that talk?” Jack’s face faltered a little but he nodded, “well after you weren’t acting like yourself, can you tell me why?”

Jack went quiet and kept his eyes down, of course, Jack knew why, but he couldn’t say why, so he just didn’t say anything.

As parents knew their children, Aaron knew Jack needed some prompting, “is this about Y/N?”

Jack shrugged his shoulders while fidgeting with his shirt, he was quiet for another minute before, in the tiniest voice, “I-.... I don't want to replace mommy” Aaron sighed, somewhere he knew that that is what this was about, but it hurt, it hurt so much to think about, to talk about, it was just so painful not only for him, but his son, and the thought, the reminder that his son had to live through something so unimaginable, well it wasn’t something Aaron liked to think about often, or by choice.

He took a deep breath, standing up, picking up his son and moving them both to the couch, only attempting to speak once his son was snuggled up on his lap, “Jack, I promise that we are not, and would never replace mommy.” he was squeezing his son so tight at this point so probably couldn’t breathe, but Aaron, not Jack cared right now, “do you think that I’m trying to replace mommy with Y/N?” Jack slowly shook his head, he didn’t think that, but he thought about it, “do you think that Y/N is trying to replace mommy? do you think you’re replacing mommy with Y/N?” Jack snuggles further into his father’s chest and nods his head. Aaron feels like his heart is being pulled down with weights, he’s so close to breaking.

Jack’s voice is barely above a whisper, “what of Y/N replaces her and we forget her.”

Aaron kissed the top of his son's head, “We will never forget mommy because we love her and she loves us. And that will never change.'' Jack felt better, but he wasn’t fully convinced, “why don’t you ask Y/N what she thinks, I think that will help ya?” Finally, Jack had a smile on his face, it was small but it was there, that all Aaron could ask for. Aaron and Jack cuddled on the couch watching a movie until they fell asleep.

That's how you found them the next day.

Aaron, the night before, had texted you saying that things went well, you asked if you should come over today and he said yes, so this morning woke up with the sun, got ready and went to all of your favourite breakfast spots and got coffee and food. You had to have grown extra hands or something because you were somehow able to hold everything while simultaneously taking your key out and opening the door.

You expected to find the boys somewhere running around the house, jack probably having away too much energy and Aaron trying to keep up. What you didn't expect was to find them curled up on the couch dress in what had to be yesterday's clothes? You giggled stepping further into the house, removing your shoes and putting the food and drinks down, thankfully before you dropped them everywhere. You finally went to shut the door, that's what did it, Jack and Aaron did not immediately wake up. Well, you shouldn’t say immediately, when technically they both woke up, jack bolted up screaming your name and running into your arms. While Aaron, he slowly groggily opened his eyes. Watching Aaron was the funniest yet cutest thing to see and you loved it. “Hey, buddy! What's going on here?” you both looked back at Aaron who was now slowly realizing where he was and what was going on.

“Me and daddy watched a movie last night!”

“Ah, I see.” there were bright smiles on your faces, Aaron not so much but you'll give him a pass. Looking back at Jack you cup your hand around his ear, “guess what I brought” his eyes shoot to yours filled with excitement, you point behind him to where you put breakfast down, Jack immediately sees it almost jumping out of your arms “why don't you go bring everything to the table ya?” at that he scurried out of your arms. You laughed at the but before turning to you now awake and approaching him, looking at his state only made you laugh more, to which he glared at you for to which you laughed harder, only stopping when he scops your face into his hands, placing his lips on yours, you smile into the kiss as you hand wrap around him.

While it was a simple, innocent kiss, that didn't stop the loud “ewwwwww!” coming from the table, you both broke the kiss with giant smiles watching the sour look form on Jack’s face

“Hey! Is that table set up yet?”

“Almost!”

You went to walk away to help Jack but Aaron caught your wrist, when you looked back at him he had a more serious look on his face, in big constants to the happy one only moments before. He took both your hands in his, kissed them and brought them to his chest. Aaron noticed your furrowed brows and worried face and gave you a slight smile.

“What is it? Something wrong?” you really have no idea considering the complete and utter happiness on all your face this whole time.

“No no nothing wrong.” he picked up one of your hands and pressed a kiss on your palm before returning it to the warmth of his chest, “just, Jack’s going to ask you a question later okay?”

“Um, okay, just thought you’d give me a heads up?” you smiled but you were still worried.

“ya, just forewarning you.”

You studied his face, while you are -very- worried, he doesn’t seem to be at all, you signed, taking his calmness as comfort, “Alright.”

“Alright?”

Your hand came to the back of his neck, you placed a chaste kiss on his lips, “Alright.” you place one last kiss on his lips before pulling away and making your way toward and very patient Jack and a perfectly splayed out table.

You had eaten and enjoyed breakfast, Jack particularly the donuts you brought, on the other hand, you and Aaron were quite partial to the coffee.“Hey, jack why don’t you go get changed and then maybe we could go for a walk?”

“Ok!” the little boy spirited towards his bedroom

You stood up intending to clean up but Aaron stopped you “Hey, I’ll clean up, how about you go for a walk with Jack.” you looked in his eyes, they were sweet and caring but his face was tense and his lip was pressed into a line, you exhaled and grabbed his hand, you knew that he wanted you to talk to Jack, you had had a serious talk with him before, but you have no idea what this is about, the whole concept is terrifying.

Aaron can see how nervous you are, he can't say he doesn't understand, truth be told he’s a little nervous himself, but he knows you, and he loves you, but that's probably why he's nervous, “hey” you look into his eye, he just smiles at your love and adoration apparent, “everything’s going to be fine, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Come on, let’s go let’s go let’s go let’s go” Jack takes both your hands pulling you off the couch

“Hey buddy, I’m going to clean up and you and Y/N can go for a walk, okay?”

“Okay” oh god, even Jack looks nervous.

“Okay, buddy let's go” you and Jack get your coats on, take each other’s hands and head towards the door, you look back at Aaron one last time, his eyes giving you all the comfort and encouragement needed, god I hope this goes well.

So here you are, halfway done you walk and you have said anything, you look at the boy ahead of you running and picking up snow, throwing it in the air, smiling as it slowly falls on him, “so Jack” oh god how do you even start this conversation, “why don’t we go sit on that bench over there?” he nodded, running over to it and sitting on it before you even take more than a couple of steps towards it. Thankfully, despite it being December it's not overly cold today, the temperature is nice with a chilly breeze, but the sun is out so it evens out nicely. You sit and put your arm around him, “is there anything that you want to talk about?” he looks down but shits his body to face you. You turn towards him as well and your arm falls from his shoulder and you place it on your knee, opening your palm to the sky, Jack takes the invitation and puts his hand in yours, you close your hand around him, squeezing it, smiling at the contact.

“I miss mommy.” ugh god no, that's it, there goes your heart, it's complete;y broken, irreparable, just cracked right in half. “I don't want to replace her” you squeeze his hand tighter, closing your eyes trying to hide how much his words are actually affecting you.

“Hey,” you lean down to look in his eyes, “I will never replace you, mommy, I love you so much baby, and I love your daddy, and I love you, mommy, just like you do. She was such a good mommy to you,” you lift and hand and boop his nose making you both laugh, “... no matter how hard I try I will never be as good as her, but I can love you both for her and I can be here for you both for as long as you want, I think she would like that, don’t you?” he looks up at you, a little smile growing on his face and jumping into your arms. Your arms wrapped impossibly tight around him and you took a shaking breath, thanking whoever the fuck is out there that that went well. And you thought about Haley, hoping that what you said was true, that she really would like you, that she's happy and that she thinks you’re good enough for her boys, that you are good for them.

“Why don't we make our way back to the house and see if we can rope your dad, into building a snowman with us?” he leaps off the bench, sprinting back to the house at the thought of playing in the snow with his dad, with you trailing behind him.

When you get back to the house you share a look letting him know everything is alright. You manage, with minimal protest, to get Aaron outside, you do in fact build a snowman, but you also have a snowball fight, you defend yourself saying, “it’s unavoidable'' and “a part of Christmas.” eventually you all, wet and cold, went inside, curled yourself up in blankets and snuggled, trying to warm up. Jack says on your lap, Aaron beside you. The three of you had a night of joy and laughter. You watched your, very, sexy boyfriend cook dinner, you ate, eventually got Jack into bed, and found yourself once again snuggling up with Aaron on the couch. “Do-, do you think Haley would like me?”

Aaron gave you a curious look, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled at you, “ya I do.” although you don't seem fully convinced. He tilted your chin up, your eyes meeting his, “I think she would love how much you do for Jack, she would adore how much you yell at me,” making you both chuckle because you know how true that is, “she would love how kind you are, and how caring, gentle and patient you are. I know how much she appreciates how you keep her memory alive, and despite never knowing her, you still love her, so yes I think she would love you.” he leans in and places a gentle kiss on your lips, you smile and wrap your arms around his neck.

It's December 10th you're at a store doing some shopping you just remembered you had forgotten about. You pride yourself on being very prepared so not being done yet freaks you out. You are under strict orders not to get any more gifts for Jack, that you spoil him too much, but you can't help, so you choose to ignore that little detail as you're walking through the store.

“Daddy?”

“Ya buddy.”

“I think it’s a good idea.”

Aaron smiled, “ya?”

“Mmhmm”

“So when do you think we should do it?”

Jack taps his lips and scrunches his brow as if in thought, “Christmas Eve!”

“Alright, that seems like a good time.” Aaron has wanted to move forward with you for a long time, it could not make him happier than his son wants that too.

It's Christmas eve morning, one of the worst days because it's not Christmas eve yet and it's not Christmas morning, it's a day of anticipation, it feels like something should be happening but there's nothing left to do but wait. Excitement courses through your body and it have no outlet to escape, just a boring day that feels exciting but can't be. And you have a very energetic little boy on your hands. He's almost literally bouncing off the walls, needing something to do, “why don't we make cookies for Santa?”

“YA YA YA YA YA!” Jack screams jumping up and down

You just put the cookies in the oven and were closing the door when you felt a tug on your hand, Jack was pulling at your waist and Aaron was leaning against the door, Jack had a smile on his face “Will you sleepover tonight?!” You were a little taken back, you had slept over before but it had never been while Jack was home. The lonely time close would be when Jack got dropped off early and you and Aaron hadn’t gotten out of bed yet.

Aaron loudly cleared his throat and Jack looked guiltily, lowering his head and bringing his shoulders up to his ears. You gave Aaron a confused wary look, you didn’t know why Aaron reacted like that nor do you know why Jack looks so guilty “well would you.”

“Are you sure that’s alright?”

“Of course it is”

You studied his face for a split second more, he had a sweet smile on his face, but there was something more, something you didn’t know, nevertheless you accepted

The little boy celebrated jumping into your arms, sending you into a fit of laughter

Aaron sat back and watched, could this be forever? He really hopes so.

Aaron cooked what had to have been what is one of the best dinners you've ever had. The dinner was slightly fancy and he had opened a good bottle of wine, you didn’t think too much of it, it was Christmas Eve. but he and Jack were acting weird, had refilled your glass and told you to “go, relax, I got it.” and was pushed off into the living room. They started off in the kitchen but then they started whispering and now you don't know where they are. So you sit here enjoying your glass of wine, looking out the window as the lights on all the houses shine and snow drifts down. You have a smile on your face, honestly, you're not even conscious of it, you just have had such a good day and it's just so nice sitting here right now, enjoying life.

Your attention was drawn away from the scenery outside by the previously mentioned boys that just so conveniently disappeared, now walking into the living room. Their faces aren't quite mischievous but they are definitely hiding something. When Jack looks at his father your suspicions are confirmed when you see Jack hiding something behind his back, “what going on?” Jack looked at his father for permission, Aaron simply nodded in your direction, sending Jack racing towards you.

You eye Aaron, narrowing your eyes at him before moving them to the boy in front of you. He stood in front of the couch bouncing on the balls of his feet, might go as far as to say that he looks extremely giddy. He takes his hands from behind his back revealing a medium-sized velvet box with a ribbon tied around it, you smile and take it from him, “and what this?”

“Present!”

“But it's not Christmas yet.” you muse

“Does it have to be?” you look up at Aaron with a tight smile and raised eyebrows, but ultimately answer his question by just shaking your head.

You look back at Jack who is now sitting anxiously on the floor, “open it!!”

“Alright alright,” you slide off the couch, joining him on the floor, while Aaron sits on the cushion next to where you were previously sitting. With one last look with Aaron, you turn your eye to the box. You pull the end of the ribbon releasing it from the box, not even watching as it falls to the floor. You carefully open the box revealing a dainty chain with a beautiful key hanging from it, the letters H O M E pressed into it. Your breath was stolen from you, not only by the jewelry but by the implication it holds.

“Y/N” you would look up at your boyfriend but your eyes are glued to the necklace

Aaron watches your face, you are in complete shock, you stare at the necklace committing it to memory, all the muscles in your face pull up slightly, a ghost of a smile spreads across your face, he reaches down for your hand, taking it in his own and you meet his eyes. You both break out into smiles, “I love you, we love you, will you move in and make this your home?”

You blush at the compliment, and smile at the question, “yes” you beam, somehow brighter smiles appear on your faces as he leans down to kiss you.

While Jack would usually be utterly disgusted with this act he simply, “do you like it?”

“I love it, baby.”

“Put it on putting it on!”

“Alright.” you carefully take it out of the case and hand it to Aaron lifting up your hair as he reaches around and clasps it around your neck. Jack crawls into your arms, hugging you and playing with the new piece of jewellery around your neck. You sit and smile and snuggle enjoying the moment and engraving it into your head for the rest of your life.

With the first yawn from Jack you know it's time for bed, “alright Jack bed” you tap his side, motioning for him to get up as he is still on your lap. He gives you big puppy dog eyes and so just reminds him about a certain visitor coming tonight and that has him racing up and to his room, ordering you both to follow.

Aaron helps you off the floor smiling as his hands make their way from yours, trailing up your arms and down your sides placing them on the back of your hips, he smirks and leans down to kiss you, saying you better hurry up to put jack to bed,

How much does he think he’s going to get away with tonight?

You said good night to Jack and now are leaning against his door frame, listening and watching as Aaron puts his son to the bed. You take your necklace into your hands, they talk about the presents and getting up early tomorrow, having to go to bed now so Santa can come, they talk about cookies.., and they talk about how happy they are. You stand here listening thinking how, right now, this, them, it's the rest of your life, that tomorrow will be your first Christmas with your boys, but not your last. And you find yourself just as anxious as the little boy, unable to wait until the morning.

Aaron smiles at you as he leads you into his room- your room, his hand stays on your back as he closes the bedroom door, okay maybe you can wait a little longer for tomorrow.

---

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