#don't smoke around kids

[arctic-hands]

Lol I never resent my mother more for both smoking while pregnant with me and constantly smoking around me throughout my childhood despite my already diagnosed and serious chronic health issues (plural) than when I really miss playing the clarinet

[nay-lon]

I'm keeping all of the answers in my cigarette box

[hawkinsunderground]

okay so theoretically the pregnancy smoking poster could refer to Joyce, who smokes a lot, right? I think she's one of the most prominent smokers in the show

SO, could it possibly be alluding to something she did during pregnancy affecting Will in relation to his connection to Vecna? or is that just the biggest reach ever lol

[jewishdainix]

I hate some smokers so much

[wizardnuke]

i can't play valoranté..the storm..my wifi..my dodge record...

[octobertomarch]

A never-before-seen snap of Twilight having a crisis during the early days of preparation for Eden Academy Admissions Interview:

Lol you know the reference. If you don't, then go read the tags

[its-not-rainingg]

(:

'i wanna have sex' no you wanna have a close intimate human connection and associate that with a need for sex/feel like you owe the other person sex. I'm not asexual and I do want to have sex kinda but way more than that I wanna have close intimate platonic connections because I love those.

[fvckw4d]

So. As it turns out. A bunch of birds have decided the rafters in the covered porch I usually sit on and smoke was a great place to build their nests. And they have decided that the chairs we usually sit on male a great toilet. I have no idea how to handle this.

[cuntwrap--supreme]

I don't think my pothead neighbor actually knows how to smoke weed. He's out on his porch with a blunt and is straight up hacking his lungs up. He sounds like he's severely ill. But nope. This is just the morning routine. Wake up and inhale that pot smoke in, apparently, the most painful way, tears in his eyes, SoundCloud rap in his (and everyone else's because goddamn does this guy not understand he lives in an apartment) ears, hope in his heart. Or something.

[sonicenvy]

worst thing about legal weed in my state is that it smells like weed every-fucking-where here now. Like, tbh I don't really care what other people do, and if weed is your thing, go you! Have fun, get high! I just would rather not have to smell super skunky-ass fucking smelling weed when I'm on the train, at the park, or on the bus. Presumably there is somewhere the fuck else that you can go to smoke that is not on public transportation or in parks where there are CHILDREN, why do you not do that instead?????

Cigarette smokers have also similarly lost their damn minds since 2020. The cigs actually make me angrier bcs second hand cig smoke is practically as bad as smoking yourself when you're breathing in that shit. have these fools no consideration for:

literal fucking children who should not be exposed to that shit

everyone who is trying to quit that might be triggered by it

everyone who doesn't want to breath in smoke

literally anyone who isn't themselves

?????

god forbid y'all have to wait an extra twenty fucking minutes to light up somewhere else.

ok. rant over.

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

DISCLAIMER: not about smokers

untrue scenario, but the point is made:

me: "I used to smoke, but I don't anymore. I just don't like it. I would also prefer if people didn't smoke around me, or in my garden where the neighbourhood children break in and play, since I don't like the smell and my lungs are still damaged from it, though I understand going into public means I will probably encounter people smoking."

smoker, stood in my garden, infront of the children, puffing away in my face, to taunt me: "OH! SO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME BC YOU DON'T SMOKE? YOU THINK ALL SMOKERS SHOULD DIE? YOU THINK WE DESERVE TO HAVE OUR CIGARETTES TAKEN AWAY FROM US? MAYBE THE KIDS SHOULD LEARN TO AVOID SMOKERS! MAYBE THEY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE BECAUSE IT ISNT THEIR HOUSE!"

other smoker, who left my house to smoke:

that one non-smoker : "YOU'RE RIGHT! I THINK ALL THREE OF YOU SHOULD DIE!"

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i love how these books just yeet the mask like a frisbee and say about as explicitly as they can that vatborn aren't people lmao

[spoonyruncible]

So, going into work tonight I, quite by accident did the one thing every adult (quite rightly) told me to never ever do.

I don't even know how to explain why I did this. The train had been a half hour late so I was already way behind, even though I'd texted my coworker and warned him about it. The train was actively so late that when it arrived people applauded.

So, there I am, at Union Station at midnight, hobbling down the sidewalk on my little crutch when a woman gestures for me to hold out my hand. She had a fistful of.... something. It was very dark. And I.... Look, y'all, I would be so easy to murder. I held out my hand.

"Peppermints!" she said, "For you!" and dropped about a dozen peppermints into my hand. To be clear, this was the dead of night in a very sketchy part of town.

"Thank you! How wonderful!" I said, genuinely delighted.

There was already a peppermint in my mouth before I realized I'd broken that single cardinal rule hammered into my brain from earliest childhood. I had taken candy from a stranger.

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!

[3liza]

Americans genuinely cannot comprehend how seriously Europeans take partying. I didn't comprehend it until I was there, and able to observe how all European infrastructure is built around supporting the public right to cross three national borders to go to an illegal rave in a world war ii ruin while chain-smoking and drinking Club Mate. this sounds like a joke but I'm not kidding Europeans never mention it because to them it's normal, Americans never mention it because we can't conceive of a world where bars don't bodily throw you out the front doors at 1:45am to drive home drunk (the busses stopped running at 10pm and there are no trains) because if they don't they will be fined millions of dollars by the city and raided by police for violating the municipal Gay in Public ordinance which persists on the books of the "most progressive city in the country"

[fillejondrette]

i saw a video of a "cannamon" talking about smoking before going to visit preschools w/ her toddler. like jesus christ i can't even go to the corner store while i'm high