#don't question my headcanons

[darkmatters-ghost]

While I know that the Sonic Boom cartoon show hype is probably super dead, the way Sonic and Eggman interact has me convinced Eggman did SOME parenting when Sonic was tiny, so here's my headcanon for that. Enjoy!

While Eggman could conquer the island he lived at, Bygone Island, the one he found nearby would be much easier, hypothetically anyway.

While Seaside Island was redundantly named, it was much more his style. The villages on it were smaller and meeker. They had no real way to fight back against his takeover! Which made it the perfect starting point for his upcoming break in his villainy career! If he took that island, surely that would've made his father proud!

Unfortunately, 'if' is the key word in that sentence.

The little blue hedgehog was no older than five years old, but despite his youth, he sucessfully stood between Eggman and complete control of the island.

And the little ragamuffin didn't even talk.

He never said a word, just showed up with his super speed and sharp quills and would put a stop to whatever genius plan he was making by breaking all his robots.

Eggman wished he knew the little nuisance's name, but seeing as he wasn't interested in talking, it left Eggman to hypothesize on appearance alone.

His back quills had ripped right through a shabby brown jacket that he wore, to the point where it wouldn't work as a jacket much longer. His gloves were constantly dirty, and no one on the forsaken island admitted who his parents were. It was like he suddenly existed one day! With no explanation!

The blue hedgehog was often running at ludicrous speeds. Speeds that, depending on the day, neared the sound barrier!

Eggman feared the day that the little blueberry would create a sonic boom.

The 'impending-sonic-boom' as he began to call the hedgehog was rather unpredictible. It all fell on a scale. Going extremely fast one day, sticking his tounge out at him and humming mocking songs, to going at what must've been like a meer jog to him, with no aknowledgement of Eggman at all the next day.

But one day, things were far more unpredictable than Eggman had bargined for.

He was racing the impending-sonic-boom in the Eggmobile. There was no hope of winning, just like there was no hope for his receeding hairline, but he needed a test. He couldn't create a robotic duplicate without anything to base it on! So it didn't matter that there was no hope of winning!

Eggman didn't need to be fancy with it, he just told the five year old koolaid stain that if he reached the end of the course before the rodent did, that he would offically own the island. And being five years old, he took it seriously.

There was no hope of winning. Not with the determination on the little guy's face.

So one can imagine the confusion that Eggman was met with when he won.

It didn't make any sense! He wasn't even- It was just the Eggmobile! It was nothing fancy! That sound-barrier-threatening-lifeform was much faster than that!

Eggman got off of his Eggmobile and stared at the folliage in front of him. Waiting to see blue quills poking out from the tall grass.

"Oh, Blueberry! I'm waaaaiting!"

It took another three seconds for the kid to show up. And when he did, he looked tired.

"Kid, you gotta be faster than that! You're not doing this on purpose are you? If this is just to spite me..."

The rodent shook his head. Eggman wouldn't have believed him if he didn't look so tired.

"Then what gives!? You can't just suddenly be slow! It's narratively inconsistent!"

The blue menace looked up at Eggman with an angry look.

"No... foo." Eggman flinched. He just spoke. He just... SPOKE.

"What? What did you say?"

"No foo...d! No food... No... fast!"

"Your speed depends on your diet?" Eggman tapped his chin, before grinning smugly. "What, did you miss your peanut butter sandwich for lunch?"

He was promptly glared at. "Okay! Geez!" Eggman tapped his gauntlet, and used it to scan the incoming-sonic-boom.

"Let's see, you're about five years old, according to your inteligence and fine motor skills... and you're one foot tall so you should weigh roughly..."

Eggman's stomach sank. He knew for a fact that the arriving-sonic-boom wasn't hitting that number. Not by a lot... Eggman could pick him up like he was a beach ball.

"When did you last eat..?"

Nothing. Nothing but staring.

"Yesterday? ...No? How about the day before? Th-the day before that? Five days ago? How about a week ago?!"

It wasn't until they hit a week and a half that the sonic-boom-in-progress pointed at Eggman. Signifying the correct timeframe

Eggman stared at the incoming-sonic-boom. For anyone, that would be damaging. For a five year old, that was almost a death sentence.

Eggman crouched down to the sonic-boom-creator and put a thumb under his chin. He squirmed violently and pushed Eggman's hand away as he stepped back.

But Eggman saw what he needed to see. There was almost no fat on his face. He was horribly underweight.

Eggman was a villain. Not a monster.

The hedgehog wiped his face, as if Eggman had gotten something on it by touching him.

"Hmm. Well, you're clearly malnourished. I can't declare victory under those circumstances! That would be cheating! Looks like you win this time, hedgehog! Now, come along! We have work to do."

The hedgehog looked up at him in–adorable–confusion. Eggman stood back up on his Eggmobile.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Hop on!"

The inevitable-sonic-boom inched towards it slowly. He gently tapped the base of the Eggmobile. When nothing happened, he looked back up to Eggman. Who groaned.

"Fine, I promise I won't hurt you, got it?"

The sonic-boom stared even more, before inevitably going for it and climbing onto the Eggmobile like a toddler.

It wasn't tipped in the slightest by the extra weight, which reminded Eggman why he was doing this at all.

His Eggmobile floated upwards and flew off. It quickly left Seaside island and then there was nothing but water below them.

He didn't expect the oncoming-sonic-boom to whimper at the sight of the ocean.

Eggman glanced down in time to see him curl up, hiding between his legs and the lower wall of the Eggmobile.

When the sonic-boom leaned against him for support, he winced and stepped back.

"Watch the quills, you blue nuisance!" He yelled.

It didn't stop the incoming-sonic-boom from grabbing him, but at least he was more careful.

Eggman had to remind himself, that the sonic-boom was a little malnourished kid, because he almost made too much food. Twice. The rodent's stomach would be small, too small for him to give the blue guy a full child-sized meal. Unless he wanted the sonic-boom throwing up on Eggman's floor.

Once Eggman had handed him a plate of food, his skittish attitude towards being on an island nowhere near his old one vanished completely. Eggman's place was a chunk of earth and lava broken off of the bygone island, yet it felt safer than the previous island, when it came to that Sonic-Boom of a hedgehog's wellbeing, at least.

The blue stain in his life stood on a chair, his tail wagging excitedly as he immediately started eating what was on his plate. Apple slices, a hot dog cut into little pieces, crackers, and even a juicebox. It might've still been too much.

Eggman watched as sonic-boom ate. Making sure that he was properly eating. It would be a waste if all his cooking didn't help out the blue rat at all.

When he was mostly done with his food, Eggman decided that enough was enough.

"Alright you menacing blue fiend," he said. "I'm going to watch television on my floating screen. Don't break anything."

He walked over to the TV, grabbed the remote, and sat down.

"Maybe I'll watch that new comedy show with the monkey-ape-thing, that should be interesting."

No more than a few minutes had passed before The Sonic-boom came into the room and jumped onto the couch.

"What do you want now? I already fed you!"

The Sonic-boom yawned and crawled onto his lap, before half-tucking into a ball and closing his eyes.

"Ohh, no you don't!" Eggman said, he picked Sonic-boom up by the back quills and pulled him off of his lap. He set him down on the couch next to him. He whined annoyingly. Before racing back on. Great. Looks like that speed is kicking in...

"No, off!"

He raced back on.

"No, off!"

He raced back on.

"No, OFF!"

He raced back on, again. Eggman grit his teeth. "NO, OFF, SONIC!"

Eggman was so caught up in the stupid game that he forgot the rest of the blue hedgehog's title. He didn't care much however, because he had raced back on and clung to him for all he was worth. Eggman sighed and decided that he didn't care enough. He wasn't willing to do this all day, after all.

The Sonic sighed happily, and purred for a moment before he fell asleep.

And if Eggman freaked out? Well, at least it stayed on the inside.

[penofwildfire]

I love thinking about the early days of the Sons of Garmadon, just a teenage girl, practically a baby, recruiting the biggest baddest bikers she can find, probably doing dumb shit to up her street cred, and overtime amassing a following that's so big most of her underlings have no idea who she even is, they just have a vague idea of "The Quiet One" and a general understanding that the goal is "conquer Ninjago". Honestly I'm proud of her, could never be me.

[allthegothihopgirls]

when the batboys get ahold of new single-player video game, there's only one console in wayne mansion (for literally no reason. there should be more), so they all have the unspoken agreement to huddle around a tv in someone's room and watch as one person plays it through.

you'd expect them to get annoyed at each other, not being able to agree on the "choose your own" options of the game, or getting frustrated with the person playing's incompetence at certain parts. but they're all surprisingly content with each other when they're playing.

tim's usually the one to play the game, because he's remarkably good, and is the most open to suggestions from others (unlike jason + the great controller break of the century). dick will watch pretty passively, and explain to damian the parts he doesn't quite understand the morals of, sometimes he takes over when no one else can pass a level. damian will join in watching, and is more enthusiastic than usual when it's a game he's been waiting to see. sometimes if he isn't particularly interested he ends up falling asleep. jason gets really into it, and him and tim usually take turns playing different parts of the game, it's the best they get along pretty much ever. before they've even sat down and started the game, jason seems to already know every fun fact and easter egg about it, and will share them throughout the gameplay.

bruce and alfred are more than happy to let the boys stay up later than usual or skip out on a chore they were supposed to do, when they're all playing a game together. it's the most normal they ever get. bruce only interferes if he walks past and sees damian asleep, to which he'll take him away and carry him to bed.

[srslylini]

weird question but what are your favorite Sevika/Jinx/Isha found family headcanons?

Cause mine are that Isha is always just climbing Sevika, braiding her hair and Jinx just giggles at it. Before she is next, of course.

Or that they have the funniest tea parties that they force Sevika to do with them, but Sevika secretly loves them even if she has to wear a toy crown (this might be coming from fanart I've seen🤭).

[raynewolferune]

Meta Jazz, the Arkham Intern Therapist Pt 2.1

Note: The writing bug bit me while wading through the comments and replies so you guys get more! 😁 Special thanks to @the-scarecrow-of-aus & @starlightcat04 for helping spark this continuation!

Also, so you're not confused, this part is from Kon's POV and backtracks to before the Bane incident to explain how Kon started going undercover in Arkham. Pt 2.2 has the Bane incident from Kon's POV.

~*~*~

When Kon got the call from Tim asking if he'd be willing to do a favor for him, he hadn't expected it to be an undercover assignment in the infamous Arkham Asylum itself.

"You want me to do what?" He asked staring at Tim in disbelief once he reached the Nest to debrief.

"Go undercover as a new guard in Arkham." Tim repeated with a deadpan expression looking over his shoulder at Kon from his computer chair. Holy fuck, his eyebags were bad. 

"Have you slept in the past week, Tim?" Kon asked, taking in his best friend's appearance.

Tim frowned at the question. 

"I don't see how that's relevant but yes." He answered, heartbeat unchanging. Which didn't really mean anything since it was Tim but Kon decided he'd believe him. 

For now. 

Kon sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, I'll do it." He said. "Can you tell me why we need someone undercover at least?" 

Tim eyes widened, startled by the question like he was surprised Kon didn't know yet even though Tim hadn't told him yet. Okay, deep breaths, calm down, Tim clearly hasn't slept in at least two days. Kon coached himself as his temper flared up at the evidence that Tim wasn't taking care of himself again. All the Supers agreed: sometimes you just wish you could beat some sense into the Bats and make them take care of themselves like normal human beings.

"Ah. Right." Tim said, turning back to the computer and pulling up some files as he explained. "Two thing have occured within roughly fifteen days of each other that together are rather suspicious. First, Dr. Thomas Rylie, Jonathan Crane's undergraduate roommate and classmate throughout undergrad and grad school, was hired to work as one of the new in house psychiatrists at Arkham Asylum. They also got their doctorates from the same school during the same time frame and both focused on the impact fear has on the brain. Dr. Rylie's focus was on fear conditioning and Dr. Crane's focus was on fear responses." Well, that sounds suspicious. 

"Second, Gotham University lost their minds and began an undergraduate and graduate internship program partnering with Arkham Asylum." 

Kon went cold. They did what?

Pictures of the Asylum, University, and three people -presumably Scarecrow, Dr. Rylie, and a young woman- filled the computer screen now. 

"The internship program has only one applicant so far and she'd already started working at the Arkham. Her name is Jasmine Fenton and her background is...sparse, to say the least." Tim turned in his chair to face Kon.

"I'm too recognizable in Gotham and among the rogues to successfully go undercover in Arkham so I've set you up with an apartment and ID as 'Kyle Jennings.' You're scheduled to start work at Arkham as a new guard tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Kon said with a nod. "What do you need confirmed? What are the primary objectives?" He prodded Tim again since his friend's sleep deprived brain seemed to think that was enough information for debriefing. It wasn't. Definitely not. A lot was implied but it wouldn't be the first time Tim had completely different intentions than what Kon had understood from his briefing. Sleep deprived Tim frequently assumed others could read his mind or something. Sleep deprived Tim was wrong.

"We need to determine if Dr. Rylie is here working for Scarecrow as part of some new scheme. We need to determine if Jasmine Fenton is complicit. We need to know if Gotham U is also in on it. And we need to find out what exactly Scarecrow is the planning." Tim stated automatically as he ticked each one off on his fingers.

"Got it. Guess I'll head over to my new apartment then and start prepping for tomorrow." Kon said, heading towards the exit. Tim hummed in agreement waving a hand in his direction as he left. That dumbass was probably already absorbed in the next case. Kon sighed, hopefully Tim would at least pass out sometime later tonight.

~*~*~

Kon's first day at Arkham wasn't anything special. He didn't see Jasmine, Dr. Rylie, or Scarecrow. He didn't see any rogues or doctors at all. It was just a really Gotham kind of orientation. 

"This is where we keep a cache of stun grenades, long-range scope rifles, tranquilizer rounds, and rubber bullets." His new supervisor and guide through orientation, Alex Fhizer, said as he showed Kon how to access, inventory, lock, and re-conceal the cache. "Everytime you pass by a cache on patrol, you will check the inventory again and sign off on it with the date and time. If anything is different from the previous inventory entry, you will immediately radio the tower and the island will be put on lockdown." Greyish Hazel eyes peered out of a weathered face staring Kon down. "You will never neglect to inventory a cache while on patrol. You will never neglect to report an inventory discrepancy. The first time you do you will be fired immediately and you can count yourself damn lucky if that's all that happens to you." 

Fhizer was intense, man.

"Yes, Sir." Kon answered. Fhizer's hard look lasted another long moment before the older man gave a firm nod and continued showing Kon the ropes.

~*~*~

The second day was no where near as chill as the first. Hell, his brain was already starting to warp, there hadn't been anything chill about that orientation.

Kon started his second day by boarding the Arkham transport bus with the rest of the staff and early morning visitors to the island. That was where he saw Jasmine Fenton in the flesh for the first time. 

She has got to be part Amazonian, was his first thought upon seeing her. She was around 6ft tall with a thick mane of red hair tightly braided reaching all the way down to her waist. Jasmine was wearing teal stud earrings, a silver bangle type bracelet on her left wrist, a white blouse, black slacks, and black flats. She carried a small, clear purse that only held a small notepad, pen, house key, chapstick, and a thin teal wallet that presumably contained her IDs, debit cards, and a small amount of cash. Damn, she was tall.

Kon's concentration was broken by the quiet sound of metal crunching slightly beneath his fingers. He immediately loosened his grip on the hand rail, checking for damage with a wince. He breathed a soft sigh of relief when he saw the damage was almost entirely unnoticeable to the naked eye. He'd have to mind his strength more closely. Kon was too used to the farm and facilities that were all reinforced to handle casual use from people with super strength. 

Tim's notes indicated Arkham wasn't reinforced for super strength anywhere. Not even along the outer walls. The facility had opted to use suppression collars on their meta inmates instead since they were cheaper and easier to repair and replace according to the official reports. However, Tim's notes had also mentioned that Arkham had reinforced the outer walls to account for super strength at one point. They'd poured nearly every dime the facility could spare into the project for months until the Joker himself had taken it personally. The madman had absolutely obliterated the reinforced outer walls until no part of them remained standing. Given Joker had destroyed the walls without having any meta powers at all and his history of viciously attacking -damn near mauling- anyone that tried to put him in a straight jacket, Kon didn't really blame Arkham for stopping while they were ahead.

Kon looked up as the bus jolted to a stop. The other passengers filing off around him. He watched as Jasmine Fenton was met by Dr. Rylie in front of the bus as he waited to disembark. 

"Ms. Jasmine!" Dr. Rylie greeted her enthusiastically with a broad open grin and beaming eyes. He reached towards her with both arms, hands open and she reached back. Their right hands clasped as their left hands landed on the other's upper arms as the two greeted one another openly. Kon wasn't very familiar with intern-mentor relationships nor what would be considered normal or professional for them, but it looked like a rather affectionate greeting for them having been strangers two weeks ago. That was strange, wasn't it? Was Tim right to be worried about them?

"Ms. Jasmine is the first and only applicant for Dr. Rylie, Director Keener, and Dean Byle's hairbrained idea to hire more doctors for this place." One of the older guards that had been standing just behind him on the bus explained having apparently noticed Kon watching the pair.

"They just seemed rather affectionate for Gotham." Kon shrugged dismissively as he turned to look over his shoulder at his new colleague. The shorter man laughed.

"A bit, yeah." He agreed. "I think Dr. Rylie is just desperate for this program to work out." He continued as they finally managed to get off the bus. Dr. Rylie and Ms. Fenton were gone now. "Pretty much everyone's been treating her like a princess." 

"That doesn't seem fair to everyone else." Kon commented, dropping back a bit to let the older man lead the way to the guards room for morning debriefing and to get their assignments. He'd already memorized the layouts but 'Kyle Jennings' shouldn't have yet.

"Who cares about fair as long as it works?" The guard answered. "If treating her like a princess scores more interns for the program in the long run, and if one intern every year ends up interested in sticking around, I'll be happy to cater to every single one of them." He confessed, stopping in the middle of the hall to turn and face Kon directly. Kon glimpsed the name Ryans as the silver name badge flashed the briefly reflecting the overhead lights. "You non-gothamites just don't get it. We're desperate for whatever help we can get." 

"That's why I applied here." Kon lied. "Going to school across the bay, I heard a lot about what went down over here while I was in college. I want to help." 

Ryans gave a short solemn nod then turned and led the rest of the way to the break room. 

~*~*~

Day four undercover was when Kon officially met Jasmine Fenton. 

Everything had been going well so far with his undercover assignment. He'd settled in to the role of Kyle Jennings, been getting along well with his new coworkers including Ryans and Fhizer, and hadn't yet managed to screw up inventorying the caches during the outer patrol loops. That being said, Kon was having other issues.

The worst part of being an unstable Kryptonian clone was that his strength tended to fluctuate. It normally wasn't much of an issue when he was surrounded by reinforced everything in his daily life but here at Arkham it was becoming a problem. Case in point, Kon thought to himself with an exhausted groan as his freshly made coffee mug shattered in his hand.

"Oh come on." He sighed snatching a handful of paper towels from the counter and bending to wipe up the coffee and ceramic shards on the floor. At least he was the only one in the room when it shattered. The door clicked softly behind him and Kon jumped twisting to look. 

Jasmine Fenton stood behind him having just closed the door to the break room after entering.

"What happened here?" She asked, sounding bewildered with slightly wide eyes as she took in the mess on the floor. Thank God. She didn't see it.

"Guess I was a bit more tired than I thought." He said with a forced laugh in order to hide his nerves. "Slipped right through my fingers."

She nodded, accepting his words at face value. 

"I've done that more than a few times close to finals." She admitted. "You guys have 10 hour shifts, right? You must be exhausted. When's your next day off?"

"The day after tomorrow." Kon said. "This is day 3 for me since orientation doesn't count."

"You get 2 days off followed by an on-call day, right?" She asked.

"Right," Kon agreed. "AKA 2 days of freedom and a day chained to the Bowery." He joked.

"Absolutely terrible, they may as well put an ankle monitor on you." She cracked back grinning. Kon snickered. The door opened again.

"I see you found another non-gothamite here." Dr. Rylie said striding into the break room with a wide grin.

"Sounds like that makes three of us." Kon agreed. Outside of Joker, he had never seen a gothamite grin that wide in his life.

"Dr. Thomas Rylie, a pleasure to meet you." Dr. Rylie introduced himself holding out his hand to shake. Kon shook his hand as gently as possible, mindful his strength was on the fritz.

"Kyle Jennings, nice to meet you. I just started as a guard earlier this week." He said then held his hand out to shake Jasmine's.

"Jasmine Fenton, I'm an intern therapist. This is my second week here." She greeted with a warm smile shaking Kon's hand. She didn't say anything about being glad to meet him, Kon noted. It wasn't exactly strange behavior but something made him take note of it anyway. Like by not saying it she was saying she hadn't decided whether meeting him was a good or bad thing yet. Dr. Rylie didn't seem to notice anything off with the interaction though as he went about making his own coffee. The three of them made idle small talk as they made their own coffees. Once his new cup was ready, Kon bid them both goodbye and went on his way. While they were his main objective, lingering too long this early into their aquantiantship would probably be strange.

He had several other small friendly interactions with both of them over the next few days. Taking the time for greetings, small talk, and sharing small bits of casual background info from Kyle Jennings's past to encourage them both to open up to him. He also broke a clipboard, two more coffee cups, several pens, and a doorknob during that time as his strength continued to fluctuate. The doorknob had been particularly embarrassing. He had gone to open the door for Jasmine when he saw her with her arms full of files and somehow managed to twist it in such a way that the screws holding it in place sheered off and the knob came off in his hand. Collins, his partner for building patrol that day, burst out laughing hysterically as Kon stared at the doorknob in horror.

"No worries, man." Collins said, clapping Kon on the shoulder still snickering. "Someone else probably broke it and put it back so they wouldn't get scolded or something."

"Yeah," Kon said with a nervous laugh. "That must be what happened."

Jasmine's eyes flicked between the two of them then she grinned.

"And here I thought you just really hated that door." She teased Kon. He felt his face heat up as Collins laughed at him again.

"It is an ugly door." Collins agreed enthusiastically smirking.

"Terribly ugly. Hideous even," Jasmine said with a smile.

"Possibly even traumatizing to behold," Collins continued to smirk.

"You've got me. I have a deep rooted traumatic fear of metal taupe doors." Kon deadpanned ears burning. Jasmine snickered as Kon got the door open for her and they went their separate ways.

~*~*~

"What have you found so far?" Tim asked. Kon did not have the words to express how much he didn't want to be at the Nest at 3am on his first day off from undercover work. If it was anyone other than Tim he wouldn't have even answered the phone.

"Literally nothing," Kon said dryly. "I am still the newest of newbies at Arkham. I practically spent the whole week being babysat by senior guardsmen." He sighed, reminding himself that it wasn't Tim's fault that he was a little insomniac goblin and that Kon really did love his friend and would be sad if he hurt Tim's feelings. Eventually. When he woke up again in the morning. "I did start befriending them both though. It's slow going since we're in different areas but nearly being the only non-gothamites there seems to be helping me make some headway at least." 

There was one other non-gothamite on staff, a medical nurse named Sharon Earley. She was in her mid-thirties and the most sour and unpleasant person Kon had had the displeasure of meeting so far on Arkham's staff. Not that Kon could blame her for that. Not when she had several large ragged scars spanning from her chin and down both of her arms from when Zsazz had gotten hold of her alone after dark her second year at Arkham. It was a damn miracle she'd survived him. Kon didn't know how she managed it but he wouldn't try to find out either. Ryans had taken him aside right before he first met Nurse Earley and warned him not to stare or ask about any of it and then explained the bare basics of what happened to her after they'd left. 

Tim probably had a file with every detail of that night as well as information about Sharon Earley's life both before and after that night somewhere on his computer. The thought made Kon nauseous. 

"Good, good," Tim said absently as he updated the mission file on his computer. The keys clicked so rapidly that Kon again reconsidered whether or not his best friend had super speed. "Better to keep them from suspecting than to rush in anyway." 

"Exactly." 

Tim continued asking questions about every little detail he could think of concerning Dr. Rylie, Jasmine Fenton, and the rogues currently in Arkham.

"They don't let me near those guys yet. I'm too new." Kon said when Tim asked if Scarecrow looked to be plotting more than usual.

"They don't?" Tim sounded surprised, going so far as to stop typing so he could turn and stare at Kon. The clone was amused to note something about his statement had managed to wake Tim up enough to be visibly shocked instead blank-faced with exhaustion.

"Of course not," Kon answered trying to keep the amusement from his voice as much as possible. "As many times as your rogues have broken out they're leary of letting new hires near them in case they're goons in disguise." 

Tim sank back into his chair looking like Kon had uprooted his whole world by proving the Earth really was flat via actual science.

"That's impossible." Tim said sounding faint. "Everytime there's a mass breakout, we always hear that some of the guards helped them escape. How?..." He trailed off, eyes darting rapidly like he was tracking lines of an invisible conspiracy board in the air in front of him. Kon shrugged, uncomfortable with this new information.

"Scuttlebutt is that the people helping them escape are visitors. The guards get blamed because the goons visit wearing clothes similar to the guard uniform from a distance. All blue polo shirts and black pants look similar at a distance." Kon explained. "It also doesn't help that the guards can't really do much to stop the escape attempts since they only have stun grenades, tranquilizer darts, batons, low voltage tazers, and rubber bullets to fight back with. So as long as enough people are involved in the escape attempt at least some of them will make it out even if the guards manage to to tranquilize several of them." 

Tim still looked like Kon was blowing his mind. It was such a rare experience that Kon had to continue.

"Plus the tranquilizer darts and the rubber bullets have to be fired from different hardware." Kon told him. "Which sucks because you have to carry twice the amount of weight while chasing after the escapees which slows you down and it takes longer to swap between them."

There was something similar to mystified horror spreading across his friend's face now.

"Speaking if swapping between them, they have different ranges too." Kon continued gleefully. Half because it was fun wrecking Tim's worldview and half to actually impart the information. "Batons are short-range. Tranquilializer darts and stun grenades are mid-range. Rubber bullet riffles are long-range."

"If that's all it is, WE can fund then better gear to control the inmates." Tim interrupted turning back to the computer and swiftly typing out a list of things to send Arkham. Kon shook his head.

"That won't work." He disagreed gently. "They aren't failing because of the gear itself."

Tim turned back around to face him, confused. This was not going to be a fun conversation, Kon swallowed hard and forced himself to continue.

"The problem is that if you fire the rubber bullet riffles from mid or short range you could seriously injury or even kill the patient. If they get past mid-range, you'll miss them completely using tranquilizer darts or stun grenades. If you try to use either of those at short-range it'll be bad for you whether it's because they'll get hold of you before the tranquilizer knocks them out or because you'll stun yourself too."

Comprehension and trepidation began to dawn on Tim's face. He deflated in his chair, sinking lower and lower as he stared off into nowhere.

"You also can't hit them with more than one tranquilizer dart in a four hour window because you could accidently kill them that way. That also means even though you have a baton, you typically can't do enough damage to them to keept them from escaping because that might potentially kill them." Kon said completely solemn now as he relayed the information. "Because regardless of the reputation Arkham has or what the patients have done, it is still a hospital and they are still patients." 

Tim was staring directly at Kon now. Mouth open, face slack, eyes wide with a kind of numbed shock. Kon held his gaze.

"Yeah," Kon said after a moment. "Yeah, that's how I reacted too." He looked down, picking at his nails for a moment before forcing himself to stop and meet Tim's gaze again. "Phizer, my new 'boss', made sure to drill that into my head during orientation. 'Arkham's guards exist first and foremost to protect the patients. Arkham isn't supposed to be a prison. It's a medical facility. The patients are confined to the premises because their affliction has made them dangerous and they have to stay so that we can keep them and others safe from further harm. We are here to keep the patients and staff from hurting each other, themselves, or being hurt by people outside of Arkham's walls.' Not gonna lie, man." Kon said quirking a bitter grin as his did. "Hearing that kind of fucked me up a bit."

Tim sucked in a huge heaving breath then slowly let it out before he responded.

"I can't say I ever thought about it like that." He admitted in a soft strained voice. "Can't say I ever wanted to either." There was a bitter tinge to his words.

"Yeah, neither did I." Kon answered, shoulders slumping a bit. "Was there anything else you wanted to ask me? I kind of want to head back and sleep a bit."

Tim shook his head slowly.

"No, I think we're good at the moment." He said looking twice as exhausted and drained now as he did when Kon first got there. Kon nodded.

"Good night then. I'll see you later, man." He said, pushing off the wall he'd been leaning against and heading for the door.

"Be safe, Kon." Tim answered softly turning back to his computer.

[skyeslittlecorner]

Hey. U know me >:3. I know i did say I'll ask this later cuz u have stuff to do buuuut I will forget later. This came to me after your latest post. What about the kings (and whoever you want) with a s/o that is pretty much a flat board, she is flat chested

Hi and welcome, I was waiting~ I'm sure none of them give a damn about the size of our chest. For such beautiful demons, it's really sweet that they appreciate us for who we are. I warn you all that I'm in a silly mood today, so it will be especially silly too lol

꧁:･ ✡ ･:꧂

Satan really likes small chest. After all, when you exercise, you burn fat, and the first thing that shrinks is your chest. Big breasts would be uncomfortable when running (you would fall behind with Leraye), and the sooner you get away from danger, the better. He loves you just the way you are anyway. The only tiny downside is that smaller breasts make it easier to listen to your heart, and it annoys him that Sitri purrs like a drill, but a kick will do the trick.

Mammon doesn't care at all about breasts. He cares more about the ass, but a flat butt is still a butt. It would be a bigger problem if you didn't have a butt, literally, but luckily it's physically impossible, so our king can sleep soundly at night. Although, after careful consideration, he has to admit that as his Master you have all the asses in the world anyway, so even without your own you are perfect. Yes, he can definitely sleep soundly now. 

Beelzebub doesn't see it as a hindrance at all, but if it bothers you, he is happy to help. Have you heard about this cool place where you can reverse your knee joints get your breasts bigger? If you want to change it, of course he will take you there. But only if you want to do it for yourself. For him, every chest is great, he will bite, kiss, suck, he would do his best to milk you and [redacted], so you have nothing to worry about. 

Leviathan is the only one who has requirements, and he likes you having a small chest because it keeps others from staring at you. Besides, if you had big breasts, you wouldn't fit in the coffin (it's a lie). If you mention it, he will dismiss your concerns as nonsense. I guess the only thing he regrets is that you can't choke him with your chest... but maybe can you? You will have to test this.

Sitri, as I said, will purr constantly like a drill. Like a kitten. A flat chest is like a dream come true. Not only does he can listen to your heartbeat perfectly, but he also gets kicked twice as often, what more could a demon want? His life is perfect, he's eternally fulfilled.

Zagan, like Satan, knows perfectly well that exercise burns breast fat. Knowing his kink, even if you came to Hell with a D cup, after a month you would be as flat as a board (but with a nice six-pack). Of course, he doesn't care about such mundane things as appearance, just be yourself, you are perfect.

[noirrelite]

*casually drops mawframe cringe and skitters into the sunset*

mesa rouge (wip) and sierra (kinda wip?) mawfreems

[penheadie]

a comic based off a shitty headcanon that's sure to get me killed by the fandom

I'm not really one of those people who's waaay big into speculating what character's sexualities are because that's honestly the last thing on my mind, but I just really wanted to draw this before pride is over. I remember Zeddyzi mentioned something about once Stone maybe being demi and I hope to god it's true so that we get some more of us asexuals in the house, but also because I think it would be funny to add to the comedic element of making the most over-simped character in ramshackle be on the ace spectrum as part of the irony.

Ramshackle and it's characters belong to the lovely @zeddyzi

[ckret2]

brainstorming exercise: you are Mabel, you have just read Flatland, you have been given reason to believe this book describes Bill Cipher's homeworld, and you have Bill at your mercy for crayon time. What follow-up questions do you ask him.

I need her to grill the hell outta him, but only a couple questions are important to the ongoing plot, so most of the conversation will just be For Fun. In light of this, might as well chuck in some questions that actual readers are interested in.

[ch3rrybite]

do I make these out in a single ask? hm

💚💜💕🏳️‍🌈💀

lmao that looks like a sentence in itself

💚 - hmmmmm i think 1. i have too many favourite characters, and there's too much stuff that i nitpick about with the marauders, esp cos i'm british soooooo

💜 - HARRY POTTER IS SO HOT AND IT’S CRIMINAL THAT PEOPLE DON’T TALK ABOUT IT ENOUGH.

like, we’re talking about a boy who was literally famous his whole life, and the second he set foot in the wizarding world, people were falling over themselves to get a glimpse of him. and for good reason.

harry wasn’t just some scrawny, quiet kid in the corner—he was a jock/popular boy (quidditch captain, hello?!), he had charmingly messy hair in that Potter way, and he had striking green eyes like Lily Evans (legit bombshell).

also, can we talk about how harry was canonically being asked out CONSTANTLY? like, in fourth year, girls were lining up to get his attention for the yule ball. in sixth year, romilda vane tried to slip him a love potion because she was so desperate to date him. even fleur delacour (literal veela and the epitome of beauty) kissed him on the cheek when he was literally 14?!!!!!!! man had rizz.

he's also the most himbo himbo, to ever himbo. and no i won't expand on that, you'll just have to take my word on it.

like, this man walked into a room, and you knew he was something special. the unintentional bedhead, the intense green eyes, the confidence he carried without even realizing it—harry james potter is absolutely hotter than people give him credit for, and i will die on this hill. 💀

💕 - james x bellatrix—but make it dark, obsessive, and utterly one-sided on bellatrix’s part.

it started with curiosity. she watched sirius brag at family gatherings about his brilliant best friend who apparently has more magic in his ring finger than the people in this room. james potter, the heir to a respected pureblood line who is supposedly good enough to rival even Sirius (the black heir????) in every way. bellatrix should hate him—he’s everything she despises: arrogant, self-assured, reckless, and worst of all a blood traitor. but the way sirius talks about him grates on her nerves, and she can’t help but wonder why sirius is so endeared by him.

the answer, she discovers, is everything.

james potter doesn’t just exist—he dominates, in a way she's only ever seen one person do (the dark lord). he’s effortlessly brilliant, the kind of wizard who could rival any of the greatest pureblood minds if he cared enough to try. straight O's, slacker at potions, but would have even slughorn beat out for obscure knowledge if he bothered, and his charms mastery .... unfathomable. bellatrix hates how easily sirius brags about James, as if he’s untouchable, as if his successes are sirius’s to claim by association.

and then there’s james himself. the way he carries himself—lazy confidence paired with relentless skill. he’s a born leader, commanding without trying, the kind of person who makes others want to follow him with barely a thought. his wandwork is flawless and his charms results elegant; so effortless it makes her blood boil.

this leads to her fixation on his hands. it sets something dark alight in her, and she wonders what else those skilled hands could do. she shouldn’t think about it, but the thought clings to her, festering and vulgar.

it doesn’t stop there. it never stops with bellatrix. her jealousy of sirius becomes a bitter obsession with james. she doesn’t just want him—she wants to steal him, to take whatever sirius has, because she always has to win, because he took the black heirship from her, even though she was the firstborn. she wants to see james look at her the way he looks at his precious mudblood, with that infuriating softness and devotion, and she wants to break him.

but james potter doesn’t see her. not really. she’s just another pureblood supremacist to him, another cog in the Black family’s toxic machine. another mad pureblood, a rabid dog needing to be put down. and that’s what makes her obsession all the more sickening—he doesn’t even know how much she craves him, how much she needs him.

for bellatrix, it’s not love. it’s hunger. it’s a twisted mix of envy, lust, and a need to conquer. james potter becomes her fixation not because of who he is, but because of what he represents: the one thing she can’t have, no matter how desperately she tries to take it.

🏳️‍🌈 - peter pettigrew.

i don’t headcanon him as queer, not because i don’t think he could be, but because i’ve always imagined him as this straight, white, working-class irish kid who already feels like an outsider for other reasons.

peter has this complex, subtle dynamic where he’s always "othered" within his friend group. he’s the one who doesn’t quite fit into the 'too cool for school' narrative of the marauders. i imagine his father as a blue-collar, rough-around-the-edges type, maybe with a streak of heavy-handedness after a few drinks, and definitely the kind of person who harbors strong opinions about "manliness" and "the right way" to be. he's definitely been laid off a few times and just really hates the middle and upper classes. peter grows up absorbing this—seeing a world that’s hard and unyielding, one that he can’t ever imagine rebelling against.

his upbringing leaves little room for difference. his father’s ingrained homophobia, coupled with the class divide between peter and his posh, confident, pureblood friends, would be something he’s painfully aware of. peter sees sirius and james thrive in their defiance—whether it’s sirius rejecting his family or james wearing his arrogance like armor—and resents them for the ease with which they dismiss societal expectations that peter feels crushed beneath. (peter is also definitely a northerner so there's that weird dynamic too)

even remus, who’s quieter and more reserved, still feels like he belongs in their world because he’s a better fit for their rebellious, larger-than-life personalities, feeding in with ideas and ways to evade getting caught. peter, meanwhile, has been taught to keep his head down, to conform, to survive. his queerness doesn’t come into play, not because he wouldn’t be accepted by his friends, but because he wouldn’t even let himself consider it, because of it being someone his father would hate and his mother would ostracize.

in some ways, peter becomes a product of this environment—he starts to resent his friends, their privilege, their charisma, their freedom. he grows up emulating his father, the very man he might despise deep down, because it’s the only template he has for power or survival. the idea of exploring queerness doesn’t fit into his rigid worldview. instead, peter internalizes his bitterness and lets it fester, further driving a wedge between himself and the people he once called friends.

it’s not that peter couldn’t be queer—it’s that his upbringing, insecurities, and resentment make him cling to the status quo as tightly as he can, even as it destroys him.

💀 - james potter ok, hear me out.

imagine how different the story would feel with lily living while james is the one who dies that night. he becomes this haunting, larger-than-life presence throughout the series—a man who was brave and brilliant, but who left behind an enormous void that no one can quite fill.

lily would carry his loss like a scar that never fully heals. she’d be resilient, of course—raising harry on her own with all the love and fierceness she has—but there would be moments where she looks at her son and sees james in his messy hair or the mischievous glint in his eye, and it’s almost too much to bear. she would tell harry stories of his father, painting him as a hero, but there’d always be a pang of sadness behind her words, a longing for the life they never got to have.

sirius, on the other hand, would be utterly broken. he’d put on a front of recklessness and bravado, but james was his anchor, his brother, his everything. without james, sirius would spiral even faster, his grief manifesting as anger and self-destruction. he’d be haunted by the what-ifs, by the knowledge that he should’ve been there to protect him.

remus would feel the marauders collapsing around him. he’d try to hold the pieces together, but james’s absence would leave a hole that nothing could fill. he’d be weighed down by survivor’s guilt, constantly wondering if there was something he could’ve done differently to save his friend.

and harry—harry would grow up in the shadow of a father he never knew, hearing endless stories of how great james was. he’d feel the weight of those expectations, wondering if he could ever live up to the legacy of a man who died protecting him. he’d see the love and grief in lily’s eyes whenever she talks about james, and he’d ache for the relationship they were robbed of.

james’s death would echo through every part of the story, shaping the people who loved him in profound and heartbreaking ways. his absence would be as powerful as his presence ever was, and his memory would haunt the wizarding world as the man who stood tall against voldemort—and paid the ultimate price for it.

[mamuzzy]

Hey dear :D can you tell us about your headcanons on Jango training the Alphas ? :D

I finally got here to answer this ask. <3

And ooooh boy do I have??? Only angsty ones, love.

I use RepComm lore as a base of my headcanons, just to make clear in what continuity I'm creating in. And that means: NO INHIBITOR CHIPS.

The whole idea of the Clone Army revolves around one thing ultimately: to completely exterminate the jedi. To create an army that is ready for the decisive moment of taking down the enemies of the Sith without the jedi even noticing what is coming at them.

The trainers of course didn't know that this is the ultimate goal of the army, but they knew they had to train a whole army for a future war that who knows when will come. They had be loyal. And they had to be effective.

Every trainer had different approach:

Kal Skirata used love and insisted on the importance of comradeship which ultimately didn't necesserily made his commandos loyal to the Republic, but to each other.

Walon Vau used harsh discipline and insisted on the importance to make his commandos remember: they are superior than others and they have the most important mission in their life. Nothing awaits them outside because they have everything they need: their duty. Vau's trainees remained loyal even after the regime change.

And then we have the Alpha ARC Troopers trained by Jango Fett.

The Alpha ARCs in their mind are the unaltered version of Jango Fett. 100 copy of Jango Fett with their brain remained untouched (compared to the Nulls who's brain was tampered with). Meaning, the Alpha's undying loyalty to the Republic is not pre-programmed, it is not in their genes. It is conditioned with traditional methods: And that is FEAR.

More under the cut

Jango Fett didn't care about the clones and I will sparta-kick everyone from this hill who tries to fight me. I don't have a single worldbuilding where Jango was a "good daddy" for the Clones. He was a great, loving and caring father to Boba and Boba alone.

For him, the clones are products, but also they are part of his agenda: Even he dies, there will be millions of Jango Fetts who will fulfill his revenge of killing off all the Jedi.

The books often mention that Jango was a sociopath (meaning he is on the spectrum of ASPD), and this template was able to make the clones to be so effective. His brain is just built different and wasn't cluttered with moral based inhibitions. That's why I think that Jango wasn't actually a sadist who enjoyed tormenting his trainees - The Alphas - out of joy and personal amusement. It served the purpose, it was all pragmatic.

There wasn't any more description what was Alpha's training like on Kamino but these little snippets of lores made my brain go brrrrrrr about the theories. If the Alphas - THE ALPHAS!!!! - were scared of Jango it could mean that their training included something that gave a reason to fear him.

We know that he installed his own commands into the Alphas such us destroying the Clone Facility in case of Separatist attack on Kamino which Alpha-17 almost fulfilled. But also, being unquestionably loyal to the Jedi. For me, these commands weren't installed. I truly love the unaltered brain-Alphas.

-- Physical pain --

When you are in the military and under training, the line between educational violence and actual physical abuse is very thin. Insubordination had to be punished. Jango had to make sure that the Alphas remain loyal despite not having the same inhibitions like the rest of the clones, so there must have been exercises where he tested how far the Alphas would go to fullfill their duties, achieve victory, enforce an order, AT ALL COST.

They had to put through physical hell, pushed over their limits, pushed over their thresholds and beyond. If caught crying, if caught showing pain, if caught showing the single muscle of questioning Jango's orders, they had to be punished. They weren't made to compete with each other, but they also couldn't protect each other publicly when Jango punished the Alphas for insubordination. They had to watch. They had to learn from it.

The Alphas found secret ways to communicate with each other. To find comfort in each other in one way or another. Oh they knew the concept of love and caring. They watched Jango and Boba from the distance. The reassuring words. The caring touches of a father. They watched how the Nulls were running to their precious sergeant for comfort when hurt. They were very much aware that this is not something they would get.

-- RECONDITION: THE ULTIMATE DEATH --

The Alphas needed only one case of serious insubordination to learn their places and that was Alpha-Ø2. He was truly an independent mind and free-thinker, a true inspiration to thrive for individualism in the sea of Jango Fetts. Spar refused to comply and refused to sworn loyalty to "a republic" which he didn't knew.

And one day Alpha-Ø2 disappeared. Only to return without his memories. Returning without his fiery temper, without his free-spirit... and without any knowledge of how he used to love his Alpha-brothers dearly.

The brainwashing of the Alphas were so much successful later in time, when Alpha-Ø2 - called now Spar - actually deserted at age 8, two years before Geonosis, most of the Alphas felt disgust just by thinking about him - they had to.

Alphas had to believe that Spar was the utter disgrace to the Republic, otherwise it would mean, that they were actually treated wrong.

They had no idea that Spar's desertion was orchestrated by Mij Gilamar and Jango Fett himself after Spar regained his memories - probably the only mercy Jango showed for a clone.

-- Jango had to find the perfect balance --

The Kaminoans wanted soldiers who are independent thinkers but still loyal. Completely supressing their individualism wasn't an option, learned from Spar's case.

What the Alphas did in their non-existent freetime wasn't his business. But the Alphas had to drop everything that is them, when Jango ordered them to do so.

Jango hated every form of authority and realized that the Alphas inherited this trait for his disdain. So he used this train in them to be more effective as advisors for the Jedi. The Alphas had to make sure the Jedi survive until the critical point after all.

Alpha-17 is the smartest of them and the closest thing they had for Spar, which made him always walking on thin ice.

Tavo and Sull, lovebirds.

Maze had knowledge of wide variety of things due to reading forbidden literature that wasn't their in their curriculum.

Fordo communicated only through sign language due to trauma, and his closest friends learned too so they can speak to each other. He only spoke when Jango ordered him to do so.

They were smart enough to know what is was truly considered disobedience. And that was going against the Republic and Jango. If they comply to these rules, they will be safe.

-- ALPHA vs NULL conflict --

Jango always had to remind the Alphas that they were expected to be better than their precedessors, the Nulls. If they fail to meet with the standards, they won't have "a kal skirata" to save them from recondition.

Alpha-Ø2 sure didn't have.

The Alphas after a while didn't need outside motivation to be obedient and loyal. Because they were meant to be everything the Nulls couldn't be. Seeing the examples with their own eyes, how chaotic the Nulls were, how the Nulls as children were actually unruly and sadistic toward the kaminoan technicians, how they disobeyed everyone who was not Kal Skirata, they finally saw what is expected from them: BE BETTER THAN THEM.

And they finally found their positive reassurance on their own. How to take pride in being the true servants of the Republic. Only the Nulls didn't give a shit about this rivalry. They didn't care about Jango or the Alphas or being better than the Alphas.

Being obedient without question was totally against he Alphas nature but they tried. They tried fucking hard.

Alphas: We are the perfect soldiers of the Republic because we are obedient, well-behaved, and we don't cause trouble to our trainers unlike you.

Nulls: We are perfect soldiers because Kal'buir said so, nyenyenyeeeee!!!

Indeed. That Alpha's didn't have "a kal skirata" in their life to tell them they are enough. That they are perfect. That they do the best. Because their best was never enough.

And they weren't enough.

The Alpha ARCs deemed to be failure in the end and their template genes weren't put in to mass-production. When the deployment to Geonosis began, they realized that they weren't meant to be used in the battle and it almost broke them.

Despite their effort and hard work, the Alphas still deemed a failure. Unpredictable, unruly, and because they didn't have any inhibition in them, the Kaminoan didn't trust that they would fulfill their roles. Alphas had to watch the Nulls leave to Geonosis while they were put into stasis.

They didn't have "a kal skirata" to save them from this fate. They didn't have Jango Fett, he wasn't there at all.

They were all alone.

-- Did Jango's approach work? --

My answer is: no.

Despite the conditioning, the Alphas had wide-variety of reactions to the Republic, to the Jedi, and Order 66.

Some were able to shake down the effects of the conditioning, and realized that this dead man won't come after them from the grave to punish them for disobedience.

Some Alpha deserted and died by the hands of Clone Assassins sent after them during the Clone Wars.

Some Alpha remained loyal to Jango's orders, the Republic and then the Empire, training the new generation of soldiers.

Some Alpha went into hiding and became bounty hunters.

Ultimately, how they interacted with the world around them as individual and how the environment treated them decided their own fate.

[thehellsystem]

Tumblr user thehellsystem, involved in another fandom with a total of 2 people in it and drawing it as horses? It's more likely than you think!

@juniper-clan

Original screencap

[scp-5385]

Are there any SCPs, GOI, or characters that you can't wait to add to Contained? Even if it's just a small cameo or reference.

Without spoiling, I drew Faye with a ton of characters before, I plan on showing who I can when the times come but I'm just that slow ToT

[luimagines]

You don’t have to answer this but what are quirks that would make the boys more smitten like a kitten?

Hmmm.... Like are these quirks for the boys or things that they would find endearing?

I'm going to assume things they would find endearing.

Talking to yourself/thinking out loud.

I'm basing this on the concept of 'likes to listen' and 'has a lot to say'. Link, as a more quiet/silent/non-verbal guy, probably would like someone else to do the talking and fill in the silence. Mostly. I dunno. I just think he'd find it cute.

Stimming

Is that the right word for what I'm thinking about? I think that he'd think it would be cute for Reader to just fidget, flap, chew- just do something that would imply their internal or emotional well-being. I'm losing my words. Someone send the cavalry.

[what-have-i-unleashed]

realizing i have a lot of funny random mtt(poly) headcanons that i never organize/write down. should i start to compile them or what lmao

[shima-draws]

9 and 13

9. In Sky, do you often visit Spinda's Cafe?

Yes, all the time! Afaik it's the best way to accumulate IQ with gummis bc sometimes you get extra bonuses. Also there's specific dungeons that you unlock by random chance by using the juice bar too :"D

I also use the recycle shop pretty frequently, the rewards are good and eventually you can farm Reviver Seeds there which is HELLA useful.

Also I just love the vibe in general so yeah I'm a big Spinda's Cafe fan :)

13. Which game makes you cry the most/makes you the saddest?

PMD Sky fans will be outraged at this but it's actually Super 😳 The way that they totally flipped the roles and had your partner be the one to vanish at the end of the game DESTROYED me. Getting to see the aftermath of that disappearance from the Hero's POV hit super hard and really just puts the classic PMD ending in a whole new light. (I missed my boy SO fucking much. GODDD)

Grovyle's sacrifice will always make me cry but Super's ending never fails to make me bawl my eyes out LMAO