#don't promise things you can't keep
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Friday Kiss Tag
I was tagged by @the-inkwell-variable <3
Well. Let's say the amount of kisses in my works is uh. 🤏
I don't feel like using the romance novellas, and I already posted about Till Death to death (he) so how about something that vaguely counts as WIP? This one is from Glass Shards, which is still on my editing to do list; sadly said list fell off the table 3 months ago.
The moment they were alone, Merridy sank against him. She buried her face in his shoulder, her chest heaving as the held back sobs escaped her. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close, not knowing what to say. No words were sufficient to ease her pain. What would be able to console him, should he learn that his brother had died? Nothing. “Damien?” she said after a while, her voice muffled. “Mhm?” “Promise me.” Her shaking hands grasped at his shirt as she held onto him almost desperately. “Promise me I’ll never lose you.” Damien swallowed. If only it was that easy. If only he could be sure no one would ever recognize him, drag him away in chains. If only there was a way to avoid injury and illness for all time. But perhaps those possibilities didn’t matter, not right now. All that mattered was that he would do whatever it would take to stay at her side. He lowered his head to press a kiss onto her hair. “I promise,” he whispered.
I really really don't know who to tag, since my pocket people have the same issue as me lol Open tag
#salad-tag#Friday Kiss Tag#don't promise things you can't keep#next chapter: attacked and bleeding out :)#sigh. the early chapters are a bitch to edit.#I hate the style that was too close to the German one#once I started letting go of the first draft it's better#I really really want this done just like I really really want Thorns to be done#sadly my current first draft of AOOL gets 3 reallys
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Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky~
Inspired from This post of @just-dol-headshots and this ask from @hakusins. Don't worry I'm still aiming for your ass Haku-Dean :) References and something under the cut
We all have to agree Bully Robin should have some softer and caring sides. When there's only them two and no one else is around to judge, he can let loose and slip back into that kinda of "Original Robin" we know and I love. I mean, that's what JDOLH made that got me into these swap messes from the beginning jsjkhskjhd you knowww the HUG!!
Reference: Barbie Girl (Aqua) and this cute ecchi Clamp Chobit piece
All in all I'm a pink bietch and Dollya won't be losing her V-card anytime soon that I can promise so hang in there okay mr.Bully.
edit: OMG THIS IS MY 1000TH POST TTOTT)) JKSDJLASKJKDLA
SELF-INDULGENT HERE WE GO
#Warning: rant in tags#dollya art#robin the orphan#dol robin#robin the bully#swap robin#swap au#DoL swap AU#Just Dollya herself#degrees of lewdity#dol#pinkcore#pink aesthetic#I don't know man I still can't decide the title for Dollya and “the Weeb” is kinda not very cute eventhough I like it#I'm enjoying this SO FREAKING MUCH I lose track of time and want to draw so many fucking things for it#I have “Plans” for Bully Robin don't worry he will get backstory as well as character development#Dark or light I can't promise I will work with JDOLH and maybe Hakusin too to build this AU#I want to put work into this you understand me?#AAAAAAAAAA THE IDEAS KEEP COMING I hate this yet I love it#What else to tag oh right#yumejoshi#yumeship#I LOVE to draw pink so fucking much#I love pink#I want to draw more pink
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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very weird to frame your abuse apologia as being aware that the writers intended to illustrate a mutually harmful dynamic and not an abusive one. when the writers in question also wrote the line 'once you put it out there, they [the audience] decide what it is' because nothing you ever create has any innate definition. when the writers in question decided to racebend major characters and then showcase them being harmed by white or nonblack characters in a repeatedly racialized pattern when they Did Not Have To Do That and then genuinely or disingenuously decide to dialogue about their directly or indirectly illustrated racialized dynamic of intimate partner violence within and outside the narrative. like to be quite honest it does not matter what they intended because this is what they made and this is how it Looks to a notably large amount of people. who just happen to be interpreting it wrong? according to what metric? the very metric they say Doesn't Work in their own fictional creation? ok
#j watches interview with the vampire#i keep saying i'm tired of talking about this but i'm not#iwtv is SO enjoyable to me when i Don't make excuses for obviously shitty people#cannot comprehend the level of mental gymnastics. well actually i can lol#like i'm not trying to suck the fun out of a fictional show of fun fucked up dynamics#it's fun and fucked up Because. they let it be fucked up#let it be fucked up!#so many people seem to have such an aversion to the idea that lestat ever abused anyone but especially louis#when we know even if he didn't abuse louis he definitely abused claudia. often IN very misogynistic and racist ways btw#which people conveniently ignore#let alone that he does similar things to louis even when he at the same time would never Want to abuse louis#like both are true. i think. like#it's good that we as a society have tried to be better about cutting off abusers at the heels to compensate for it not happening Enough#but we have to stop pretending they aren't human people and that abuse is a Human act and that their humanity#and our ability to understand them with Our humanity just Disappears the second they do something monstrous#like no. both are true. all of it's true#pretending lestat was never abusive does nothing for no one#and i really truly feel like it takes the bite Out of such a compelling story to view it that way#let it bite my friends i promise you will survive it#imo seeing lestat's abuse for what it is =/= Cancel Him NOW like. i still enjoy him for what he is as long as he's Allowed to be what he is#which the finale. um. appeared to backpedal lol which is why it immediately sucked to me#realizing i am Because Of Woke-ing lestat but like people are afraid to call him abusive because they like him and they feel like#they can't continue to like him if they admit he was ever abusive. Because of Woke HFKSDJF
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Old art that I didn't post here for whatever reason or I didn't have Tumblr yet (if I did actually post some of these already, my bad.)
I am doing this on my laptop which as far as I know doesn't let me group images together so every image will be its full size; this is a long post!!
(NOT IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER!!!!!!!!)
Trigger warning: old art, blood, body horror, maggots, unfinished art, drug use, old art, gore, sandworms, corpses, nudity, self harm scars, etc.
MY FIRST DIGITAL DRAWING OF BEETLEJUICE this is when I knew the short hair wasn't going to work for me
^^I started a drawing of this weird au beej a long time ago and never finished it so I planned to post this sort of sequel after I finished it but as far as I'm aware I never posted it
I thought the shirt would be a funny thing for him to wear when he moves into the maitlaind's attic
First Bettyjuice drawing!
^^Featuring my ocs as Lydia and BJ
That one Ralsei image
^^ This one is in the tour's fanart binder!
Drew him with short hair for the (technically second) time
I forgot his beard. Inspired by the Haunting of Hill House (love that show)
I miss drawing his nail polish
^^art trade (design belongs to ohwowhumans)
^^Ok I probably have posted this one but it's my Donnie redesign and I think he needs more attention.
I think I drew this the night after seeing the final show
This one is also a celebration of the final performance
And this one
This is Beetlejuice from a really weird fucking dream I had (my mortician character was his coworker at a grocery store in the dream fun fact)
The premise was he caught her smoking weed in the back of the store and there was a big montage of them doing weed every day at work and then she said something that made him think she was gonna tell the boss and get him fired so he got a gun out but didn't end up shooting her and the dream ended (artstyle was vaguely south-park-esque??)
IT'S NOT LETTING ME UPLOAD ANYMORE WAHHHHHHHHH SCREW THIS.
#beetlejuice#my artwork#yeah idk either#sorry if you see this#I may upload the rest of my unposted stuff if anyone is actually interested in that#this post is kind of a gamble#I could do the cringe thing and be like “ohhh ewww I can't believe I drew like that it's so bad!”#but honestly I don't see the point#yeah it's hard to look at but I wouldn't be where I am now without it#in other words keep going guys I promise your art will improve#I keep drawing and my carpal tunnel keeps getting worse so I posted this to satisfy my posting desires instead of drawing something new
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"FREEZE YOUR BRAIN" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)
I regret my life choices of not being able to actually start studying. Here's "Freeze Your Brain" adapted in Italian!
ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)
(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)
[J.D.] Sono stato in dieci superiori Tutte la stessa scenetta Inutile abituarsi Perché ce ne andiamo di fretta Mio padre tiene nel baule pronti due bagagli Quindi è solo una questione di ricaricarli I nomi non imparo Che faccia è di chi non m'è chiaro La fiducia in questa oasi di cemento riparo Sembra che ogni volta che sto per disperarmi C'è un 7-Eleven ad aspettarmi Ogni negozio è lo stesso Da Las Vegas all'Ohio Corsie di linoleum che adoro Vagare io Prego al mio altare di granita; Sì, adoro quella dolce botta di vita...
Congela il cervello Succhia dalla cannuccia Meglio di un coltello Arriva la felicità Quando tutto se ne va A chi serve uno spinello? Congela il cervello Congela il cervello
[J.D., parlato] Ti va un tiro?
[VERONICA, parlato] La tua mammina sa che mangi tutta quella merda?
[J.D., parlato] Non più
(cantato) Quando mamma era viva Vivevamo quasi normalmente Ora siamo solo io e mio padre Stiamo meno formalmente Ho imparato a cucinare Le tasse a pagare; Imparato che'l mondo Nemmeno un cent ti vorrà dare Il tuo futuro hai pianificato Veronica Sawyer Andrai a qualche college E sposerai un avvocato Ma il cielo farà male Quando su di te sarà demolito Quindi è meglio se Il tuo muro l'avrai già costruito...
Congela il cervello Nuota nel ghiaccio Perditi nel suo doloroso bello Chiudi bene i tuoi occhi Fino a che non ti vedran quegli sciocchi Non diventare uno zimbello
Congela il cervello Distruggiti il teschio Combatti il dolore con uno più bello Dimentica chi sei Liberati da quel peso Dimentica in un mese e mezzo Riavrai lo stesso frainteso Quando la voce nella tua testa Dice ch'uno come te è meglio se non resta Non ascoltare a quello
Solo congela il cervello Congela il cervello Vai avanti e congela il cervello...
(parlato) Provaci So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)
[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They're all the same little scene (but little in this case is meant in a negative light) No point getting used to it 'Cause we're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases ready in the den So it's only a matter of refilling(/repacking) them I don't learn the names Whose faces is whose isn't clear to me My trust resides in this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven waiting for me Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Ohio Linoleum aisles that I love To walk around in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for sweet hit of life (or however you call that, basically gives life force again but something that gives you life force not in a literal sense)...
Freeze your brain Suck from that straw Better than a knife Happiness comes When everything goes Who needs a joint? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain
[J.D., spoken] You want a hit?
[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?
[J.D., spoken] Not anymore
(sung) When mom was alive We lived almost normally But now it's just me and my dad We live less formally I learned to cook pasta To pay taxes; Learned the world Won't want to give you even a cent You've planned your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it'll be demolished on you So it'll be better if You'll have already built your wall
Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in its beautiful pain Shut your eyes tight(/well) Till those fools (sorry I had to use this for the rhyme) won't see you Don't become a laughingstock
Freeze your brain Destroy your skull Fight pain with a more beautiful one Forget who you are Free yourself from that weight Forget in a month and a half You'll have the same misunderstanding again When the voice in your head Says someone like you is better off gone Don't listen to that guy(/him)
Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...
(spoken) Try it OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):
[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They start to get blurry No point planting roots 'Cause you're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den So it's only a matter of when I don't learn the names Don't bother with faces All I can trust is this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven right there Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Boston Linoleum aisles that I love To get lost in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for that sweet frozen rush...
Freeze your brain Suck on that straw Get lost in the pain Happiness comes When everything numbs Who needs cocaine? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain See upcoming pop shows Get tickets for your favorite artists
[J.D., spoken] Care for a hit?
[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?
[J.D., spoken] Not anymore
(sung) When mom was alive We lived halfway normal But now it's just me and my dad We're less formal I learned to cook pasta I learned to pay rent; Learned the world Doesn't owe you a cent You're planning your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it falls So you better start Building some walls...
Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in the pain Shut your eyes tight Till you vanish from sight Let nothing remain
Freeze your brain Shatter your skull Fight pain with more pain Forget who you are Unburden your load Forget in six weeks You'll be back on the road When the voice in your head Says you're better off dead Don't open a vein
Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...
(spoken) Try it
#heathers#heathers the musical#heathers 1989#jason dean#veronica sawyer#song adaptation#i'm sorry#in italiano#i'm lazy with tags today#sorry for that#non è ufficiale lol non so se hanno mai fatto la traduzione ufficiale o anche la traduzione#i tried to keep as many rhymes as possible#some syllables got fucked up (not in a dead girl walking way but in an “i am damaged” way [tried my best])#this machine runs on coffee adapts “heathers: the musical” songs in italian#freeze your brain#scheduled on the 28/5 for the 3/6 at 7:45AM#So... During the summer I'll be very busy#way busier than during the school year social media speaking#so no more song adaptations because I do them on my computer and I'll be far away from it#You might get one more if I can and it might be of Heathers or not(The Ballad Of Jane Doe is stuck in my head so no promises about anything#nothing might come out so really no promises at all#sorry about that#might also be why I hate the summer compared to the winter#in winter we stay at home#in the summer i travel and i'm glad and know i'm priviledged for this but it's gonna be a busy time and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#plus constant interaction with people#i don't remember how i used to be able to deal with it before the lockdown but now i can't anymore and need my time alone#or i'll become way more annoyed than usual and those things i have similar to sensory issues will get way worse#and i don't have time alone in the summer so i'm fucked#oh well
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oh no somebody I do not want to know about my online presence might have found this account luckily I didn't find anything suspicious in my follower list but oh my god
#nana talks#its literally my dad too I'm not gonna get into the whole lore of why I genuinely don't like him but he's an awful person#I hope nobody has to deal with somebody like that ever not even my worst enemy I'm not kidding#so like I'm hoping he's not stalking this blog#like literally what can he do not like its gonna drive me off of the platform I literally don't care about his opinion of me#but its still unsettling if he is trying to keep track of his adult daughter like this#anyways I don't know if I should reach out to tumblr support because like they probably can't do anything#literally up until I was like 15 he had stuff installed that would let him see everything I do online#eventually that app or something of his shut down and I was free hehe#like this man did and said the most horrendous things under the sun and he's like omg why does nana not want to spend time with him#I don't even care if he's reading this he knows that I don't like him#best thing you can do if you have someone like this in your life is just do whatever you want don't let them bother you that much#eventually they'll realise they can't bother you anymore#like literally for the longest while I thought he would never shut up with the insults directed towards me#but like a couple of months of not caring about it and not talking to him later and he left me alone#so like if anyone reading this can relate I am proof that it does get better my dad is the most stubborn and mean case too#so I promise you it will be okay
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Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?
#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind#fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once#god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit#oughhhhh#even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio#which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed#now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable#and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame#features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral#and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP#even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh#not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk#if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me#and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired#unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more#why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers#there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place#and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things.#maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either#I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time#but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy#it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care.#I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife
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[Id. A series of Gintama x Taskmaster pencil sketches 1-2 Kagura, Gintoki and Utsuro holding hands, expecting Shinpachi's (holding Hijikatas's hand) whistle. 3. Kagura holds a donut lifesaver with her mouth while Gintoki is screaming to someone on the audience and Utsuro stands there with a half amused half scared expression. 4. Utsuro is being dragged by the contestants. He looks surprised. 5. Hijikata has his donut lifesaver around his neck waiting for the task to end. 6. Gintoki is pointing at someone on the audience with a celebratory pose. End Id.]
Series 7, episode 6 final task. Starts at 38:26.
#gintama#gintama fanart#my art#sakata gintoki#kagura#shimura shinpachi#hijikata toushirou#utsuro#gintama x taskmaster#beautiful chaotic task a treat to myself 'cause i had a shitty day#again#the description can't (ugh words) really explain the chaos of this task i'm sorry i'm bad at descriptions#if you can watch the video I promise is worthy even if you don't know who these people are#was dying to draw Hijikata on one of those James' shirts#really really happy the taskmaster virus is spreading#(actually the only thing keeping me sane this week)
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currently captive audience to a knock down drag out fight in my brain between desire to respect the wishes of the creator and not look for anyone redistributing the comic and god i fucking miss wonderlab i miss wonderlab so much you have no idea i want wonderlab back so bad
#project moon#wonderlab#seriously wonderlab was so fucking good that like#the entire time pre-limbus release every time we got news i would get so excited for a potential followup on wonderlab's ending#and the idea of seeing characters like taii#with amazing designs from a comic that already had some absolutely stunning imagery#drawn in a style like the absolutely fucking beautiful painterly style of ruina's character art and cgs#getting to see more of taii and the other survivors of the branch and seeing where their lives would go after that ending#seeing how the loss of so many important people would affect them and how they'd struggle in the aftermath of l corp's collapse#we already had ONE distortion in the ending of wonderlab with catt and that happened BASICALLY MOMENTS AFTER LOBCORP'S ENDING#can you IMAGINE how cool it'd be to see all of these characters#who already have experience with combat and ego and weird anomalous monsters via their work in the branch#react to and potentially figure out and adapt to the distortion phenomenon?#LITERALLY THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF LIMBUS IS GOING INTO FORMER L CORP BRANCHES#THAT'S THE SELLING POINT OF THE GAME! THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE! OF COURSE I WOULD GET EXCITED ABOUT MORE WONDERLAB STUFF!#BUT NOW WE'LL NEVER GET THAT#WE'LL NEVER SEE TAII AGAIN IN OFFICIAL MEDIA#WE'RE JUST LEFT WITH THE MEMORY OF THAT FINAL PANEL AND TAII GAZING OVER THIS STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL SURREAL LANDSCAPE#WITH PROMISES OF A JOURNEY WE'RE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SEE#FUCK I MISS WONDERLAB#wonderlab was so fucking good that it accidentally became the cornerstone of my entire perspective on project moon's works as a whole#and now that it's gone i can't go back to lobcorp or ruina without feeling its absence like a gaping void in my chest#the only thing left in its place being the knowledge of the shitshow that was the drama surrounding project moon for a while#and the thought that maybe in a different world we would've gotten to see more#FUCK man#no joke i literally made myself cry typing this whole rant out#suddenly learning that wonderlab had been taken down was a fucking wound i have never recovered from#and i've never been able to look at ruina or limbus with the same sense of awe and wonder and curiosity ever since#just the bitter knowledge that yet another formerly beloved story and world has fallen into corporate nightmares and gacha cash grabs#i haven't been able to keep up with project moon much at all since. i don't know if anything else has happened.
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#quite literally a how it started vs. how it's going moment#i watch erik haula exit interview and go completely ballistic. THIS is female hysteria!!#you've been traded. you think it's going to be a good fit. you're excited. you believe things happen for a reason#you HOPE you're there to stay even before you step foot in the rink. you don't want to keep packing up your family from team to team#the season ends. you've got a new family now. you don't want to pack up and leave them for anyone else. you WANT to stay for them#“this is My Family.” i can't play anywhere else when nothing will ever be This#these people i didn't even know 9 months ago become these people i broke records with and made it places no one ever imagined…#the devils happened to you for a reason. you stumbled into something unknowingly and now you are pleading to stay. absolutely unreal#i think it's extremely warranted to go bonkers when guys who've been ran through the league finally find a place that is Their Home. sorry#erik haula you are so fucking special to me dawg i WILL pay for your contract. i WILL make sure you are here to stay. that's a promise.#quite literally gnawing on the sharpest edges of sheet metal i am so fuckin gSICK#if fitzy doesn't work something out with him and they lose the certified uncle and the goat…
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Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.
#you know how they say time makes you look on the past with nostalgia and that's why elderly people think so fondly of past decades? not me#there are moments I look back on with nostalgia sure but the overwhelming feeling of looking back on my childhood is just whatever I do#wherever I go whatever happens that will not be my life again. my memory is long I made a promise to myself I intend to keep I don't forget#support you having your grandkids if their mother is deemed unfit yes. take the older two myself if it comes to it yes. move provinces to#live with you to look after the five of them together where you would be my only adult connection and there's a language barrier and I have#no work history and I'd be between five hours and nine hours away from any other connection I have answer's an absolute fucking no. I've#seen how you are with my sister how you were with my brother. who do you think they call when they've had enough of you? do you not#remember most of the beatings I took was because I was standing between you and my brother? of course not because according to you you#never did beat me but if you think I'm not aware that would turn on me again the second I'm no longer distant and just visiting if you#think you'd find nothing to complain about because you've built up this golden child ideal of me in your head and want to forget how it was#when I was actually in your care you are very very wrong. I remember. I know that inconveniences a lot of people who want to forget#unpleasant things about themselves. me too to be honest I have memories I wish I could erase but I can't especially with regard to my#sister. I defended my brother but not her. not enough. and it's probably why I give so much to her now more than I should because it's#enabling but it is what it is I guess. I won't use my memories against anyone just for the sake of it but I absolutely fucking will#to protect myself or others. you want a redemption arc without admitting to anything? keep being patient and kind towards#your grandchildren even if you end up having to take them and if you can't do it for all five of them then accept that it's better for the#older two to be with me. that's it. those are your options: the older two are with me so you only have to look after the younger three or#you need to buckle down and learn from your past mistakes to look after the five of them and all that is *if it even comes to that* which#as things are it's not in danger of that! it was a regular fucking visit to monitor the situation that's all; they're not getting taken#literally every time she freaks out about something it's a 50/50 chance it's actually something or she's invented a completely#twisted version of events
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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fellow ds9 weirdos can anyone tell me if our guy Andrew Robinson is doing any upcoming conventions or if he like even does those these days. I've never like actively wanted to meet an actor before so idk how you find these things out. if he does do cons I will literally pay you money if you can tell me which ones. yes I am willing to pay actual dollars for this googleable info I'm not joking I have OCD and it prevents me from doing simple tasks sometimes can somebody please help me
#I don't even know any Star Trek Conventions (TM) except for Star Trek Las Vegas and I looked and he's not on the guest list for that :(#which SUCKS cause that con looks SO fun but I can't justify it if Mr. Robinson isn't there :(((#I know this is really weird and cringe but that's being mentally ill for you I guess#yes I have a full time job yes I make rent and car payments no I can't look this up myself#Andrew why aren't you going to ST:LV Andrew :((( please Andrew :(((#the thought of you signing your book for me is the only thing keeping me alive Andrew :(((#(<<< THINGS I WOULD NEVER SAY TO THE PERSON IN QUESTION OBVIOUSLY I PROMISE I DO KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE OTL)
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nosy anon again making a return because i think what my brain did was read that i helped find some kind of writing and then did not fully process what the writing was?? but upon rereading i am very intrigued if you ever get the urge to share i will be all eyes/ears/senses required to enjoy things!!
I GET TO DO WIP WEDNESDAYYYYYY!!! the writing exists mostly in the form of a tag (fantastic! 'verse) and also a thirty-two page doc of snippets and planning, so the sense you will be using most is imagination:
don't think i have ever actually formally written out anything about fantastic! 'verse but! the tl;dr of it is that it's a semi-college au: joel is still a hockey player for the lv phantoms, but morgan is a college student-athlete. it's incredibly relevant to the plot that joel falls in love with morgan in the check-out line of a wegman's, lies a little bit, and ends up going back to get his degree.
most of it is just good fun about college kids growing up, but i think there's a lot of parallels between making your way through a development system where traditional "success" isn't always guaranteed (ahl -> nhl, completion of higher education -> pursuit of a career) because that development system isn't always designed for you to "succeed" or have opportunities. heavy quotation marks around success because part of that struggle is learning what you want in life and how you define success. are your dreams achievable? are they still the same dreams you always used to have? it's infinite branching universes of would you still love me if i was a worm (ahl player forever) (a college dropout) (a college graduate) (older) (realizing the fallibility of your body) (uncertain of the future) (human).
silly little snippet:
#do i LOVE this snippet no we're still workshopping but i felt like y'all needed context for why it's fantastic! 'verse#and i can't link ash's tweet because. priv nor can i link kay or jos' replies so this is me saying Just Trust Me the tweet is this scene#anon the gift keeps on giving. i get to gab i get to be nosy the world is ideal i am here for it#does it count as wip wednesday if the w in question has been ip for four (?) years?#liv in the replies#HI THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO OUT WHEN I FIRST GOT IT BUT I MISSED WEDNESDAY SO I HAD TO WAIT A WHOLE WEEK TO HIT IT AGAIN#BECAUSE I GOT EXCITED ABOUT DOING THE DAYS OF THE WEEK wip wednesday#you know the one oh i LOVE this part audio? that's me any time somebody asks me questions i am SO inclined to share.#one time somebody made a comparison about the blog and walking through a garden and it made me weepy i can't even lie#ALSO I SAW YOUR OTHER ASK i am in the trenches about whether i want to post it or not i did also go look and see her morgan posting in 2019#and maybe she is the same girlfriend?? maybe they broke up and got back together?? maybe she just cleaned up her vsco??? SO confused#(the debate is for all the reasons you mentioned lol it's just me deciding how Public you have to be before i think i want to paper doll yo#into my narratives? in a public forum because i would absolutely dm/gc/etc where there's no chance she could see or be involved#(as if she is on tumblr) but also figuring out how much i let into the sandbox. To Me things like the edm polycule or including wags can be#interesting within the narratives and sometimes i just pretend they don't exist! right now i am intrigued by the fact of whether or not#i invented a girlfriend (???) for morgan but she really doesn't fit into my narratives in a fun/interesting way besides that#and i don't want to spread misinfo if i DID invent this other girlfriend. rip morgan's imaginary (??) gf although i KNOW there was one#with the artsy vsco claw marks on his back. i promise!!! maybe it was just her!!!#fantastic! 'verse#i have better snippets i promise this au is funny it also features like. all of the 2019-2020 flyers because that's when i started writing#AND probably ten of those 32 pages are plans for a sequel/companion about isaac ratcliffe my beloved 😭#don't think too hard about who is actually playing on the flyers or draft orders without people. EYE know who is still on the team#but i did not do the math shenanigans to figure out who replaced people like morgan or scooty loots. vibes only no PP units
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one of my main takeaways from the er dlc is that the "adding difficulty settings would compromise our vision of the game" thing is just complete bullshit coming from the devs (not that that wasn't already obvious)
because they added that! the fragment level up system as implemented was not ideal and was actually there to make the gameplay harder rather than easier (as in getting all the fragments felt like it was tuned for the base difficulty and scaled up difficulty the less you got rather than letting some people have an easier time) but they did very much add a way to scale difficulty and there are plenty of ways they could expand off that system to let players make things easier if they chose to (no one is making you use those fragments buddy)
i don't think they're ever going to do that, but now they've kneecapped their own argument for doing so and just made the whole premise of it dumber
#it wouldn't fix some of the other issues going on with the way their gameplay has evolved#phase two of the final boss had even some of the most obnoxious from soft fanboys complaining#and it felt like the culmination of all the things they've been doing to make the games less fun for the sake of being 'hard'#but also issues like so many vfx you can't see your fckin screen and your frame rate goes to shit#the hair issue in the last fight#hitboxes reminiscent of ds2 (some of which they fixed)#relying so much more on reaction speed than on observation and learning#fights that really eff over specific builds in a game where not having a specialized build doesn't really fly#i loved a few of the bosses from the dlc#but some of the others really felt like they underscored everything that i hate about where the franchise has gone#ermp#mp#tried hard to keep this out of tags and searches lol#the community for these games is so awful#i do think from soft has run into a wall with their boss difficulty design#like i said above the ways they're trying to make bosses harder are kinda ass and it seems like they don't know how else to go#but want to promise fights that are harder every single release#and making bosses almost impossible to dodge and not give you openings for healing is kind of a dead end#so where do they go from there
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