#don't pay these things any mind
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#don't post ask#don't pay these things any mind#hrries always try to cancel Louis and insert his name in scandals going on#but it never works#it's sickening how they always try to do this#but what matters is that their wishes will never come true#if they're waiting for Eleanor to write a book simply bc she followed Maya in support they'll be waiting for a long time#and what they're saying about him being an abuse apologist doesn't make any sense#he didn't aknowledge Liam's existence when he followed him like the plague in Latam and Maya didn't explicitly say the book was about him#and after all that's revealed these pasr few days i don't think he'll ever aknowledge him again#and most importantly Louis is the only one from that band who utterly respects women#(maybe Niall too but idk too much about him)#and he's never given me or anyone a reason to think otherwise#those delulus can keep embarrassing themselves but no one takes them seriously
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Gentle reminder that I am a real human person on the other side of this icon.
I am always grateful for support and conversation around the art that I share!!! But within moderation. Please try not to spam on my posts or comment the same things on one piece across multiple platforms. Sharing your thoughts/appreciation on one social will suffice.
Also please be mindful of the types of comments you're sharing in general. I am not the "CEO" or "Queen of RG" and I don't claim to be. It is honestly pretty alienating being treated that way - for myself and other RG creators - esp in a fan community that is as small and inactive as this one is these days.
This isn't directed at any one specific person as this has come from a few different sources over the years. Just wanted to post something about it because boundaries are important.
Thank you for understanding <3
#i don't like making posts like this cause i'm always worried the wrong people will take it to heart#a comment/message here or there is fine#going off in the tags is fantastic. i love when folks do that.#but whenever it's more than that and it specifically starts becoming a pattern - then i gotta ask for some more space#I'm a human person that pays taxes and has flaws. I make mistakes say the wrong thing and hurt people just like everyone else#i am not perfect and don't wanna be placed on any kind of pedestal#pls be respectful and mindful of how you interact w others online
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Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this
#AUGHHGHH#I promise you dbh is still one of my favourite games I really do#But ohhhhhhhjghh my GODDDD it makes me mad#Like ESPECIALLY this year. With artists and writers being so fucked by ai#Like the game has less than no sympathy for people who were screwed over by cyberlife deciding their labour wasn't worth anything#Like everybody has to be a strawman. Everybody has to be the violent 'android bad because (some vague reason that draws on the#'immigrants are stealing our jobs' line despite the fact that these things aren't equivalent at all)#Like yes. Robots being placed in positions where a real human would be paid a real wage to do that job is bad. This is a bad thing#But the game. Does not CARE#It's so morally neutral for cyberlife to be allowed to mass produce androids in the middle of a poverty epidemic that they created#It's fine! Says Detroit Become Human because everyone rendered homeless or struggling by this company's actions is a violent drug addict#Or something#It's like HUH#H U H#This game was so enamoured with it's weird bad civil rights allegory that it forgot that people do actually need jobs to uh. Pay to live#Because things are hell#And I think it could've been SO much better if the game acknowledged this AS WELL as acknowledging that no android chose this#Like a fresh deviant didn't ask to cause a real person to not have a job. The company who made them did#But dbh doesn't care. Cyberlife is morally neutral in this. I swear#Loses my mind this game is such a mess#Uhhh if anyone's reading this please don't get mad at me I promise I do really love this game. Like this game is the reason I#Met the love of my life. I am physically incapable of hating this game#I just think it's so worth discussing the ways it fails in (what I think is) a constructive manner#detroit become human#game analysis#I guess#If anyone has any contributions or disagrees with me I would LOVE love to hear. Genuinely I love talking about things like this#Essay in tags
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i swear my stepdad is so illogical AND stubborn it hurts
#okay so strap in coz this is a wild ride#tl;dr we have been without heat and warm water for years and i mean literal years#because he refuses to pay off some debt he built up with the company#because he feels unfairly treated (let's not get into this. it absolutely makes no sense) by the company#so instead of doing the logical step of growing some balls and admitting he made a mistake and paying off his shit#he's been looking for a new supplier all over but the deal IS#that he's been doing this with a couple of places before and people are hesitant to even make him any offers#and you'd think that learning about THAT at least now he'd be like. idk willing to just pay off his debt and be done with it#but you'd be WRONG#now he's looking to just have our entire heating system replaced for the teeny tiny price of 25000 bucks#mind you his debt isn't even a THIRD of that#and obviously he can't afford those 25000 bucks#so what's his next step now you might wonder?#well good thing you asked. his next step is going off on ME for not paying towards the new heating he wants#and now that that's not working for him guess what he did next?#that's right. he bought shit expensive 'space heaters' that are pretty much just small little boxes that you plug into an outlet#and he swears up and down that they're going to heat up our house (it's negative degrees outside)#(it's obviously not working)#and genuinely. all i can think of is how much money he shoved into trying to macgyver this house into a house with warm water and heating#and how he blew off ten thousands of bucks he got paid when he retired within the span of two weeks#when this debt could have been paid off ten times over by now#so now you might be thinking. okay tiago. why don't you move out#good question you see. my mom is disabled and reliant on someone who cares for her#something that he can't won't and shouldn't do because the last time he sorta kinda tried she almost died and we had to call an ambulance#she wouldn't eat a thing if i weren't there to cook. the house would fall into disrepair if i wouldn't do maintenance all around#i've set up (functioning) heat in some areas she occupies and i've gotten a boiler going so she at least has warm water#i'm paying off their bills to make sure he doesn't skip on paying any others. i'm buying groceries for them because again they wouldn't get#any for themselves#and finally. i've offered to pay off his debt so that we can finally live like normal fucking people do#and guess what. guess WHAT. he just got mad at me for not adding money to that 25000 bucks pool for that new fancy heating he wants
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Techno imitating Phil and his iconic “Hey mate” line during MCC5
#Technoblade#Philza#Phil#MCC#Emerald Duo#subtitles#I'm making a highlights compilation of Techno's old MCC vods#but I'm posting this now because these two are my favorite#and also the current highlights compilation for MCC 5's vod is 13 minutes long#so it's going to take a hot minute for me to figure out how / where I want to cut that up#or whether I want to compile it into something shorter#I don't actually know if I'll subtitle that whole thing#Ideally? I'd love to#realistically? I don't have the time and also my back neck hands and eyes are killing me#I'm on the computer all day for work so even the video editing stuff is a pushing it a little for me#I wouldn't mind getting paid by a CC to do this kind of clips stuff officially#but I don't think any of them would actually pay a fair wage#and idk how many hours a week that would be#still. something I am considering#I work for a nonprofit rn so I'll probably get a second job sometime eventually#but before this current job I worked 5 jobs and god forbid I ever have to do that again#that was a very rough 2 and a half years#anyways enough personally chit-chat in the tags I hope you are all doing well#and if you guys have any opinions on whether you want one shorter compilation or 2 longer compilations lemme know#Subtitles#Edited
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i love all these little tidbits for the Mourn Watch, they're really helping me solidify my idea of Ingrid. mainly that a huge facet of her character is that ever since she got kicked out of the Necropolis, she's been trying really hard to make the best of it but in reality she's just been extremely lonely
#she uses majority diplomacy options bc she learned the Etiquette for Making Friends and is sticking to it#she is so so homesick and is trying really hard not to show it bc what good will that do#she's trying really hard to do things right bc that last time she did things wrong she lost her home#she told solas she doesn't care what people will call her but they both know that wasn't quite true#rambling#veilguard spoilers#don't pay me any mind i'm just ratting off my thoughts right now
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went running and can report i'm still not that person
#'running is the best exercise you can do for muay thai' please don't say that#lie to me#jk it was alright. went to the park at 9pm and i've got a route now#ran some sections and walked others#so hopefully if i do it again (and again and again and again) i'll be able to keep up the running for longer#got a method of noticing change that way#which is something i'm historically quite bad at#tw for weight stuff in the rare event anyone is reading these tags#i've definitely gained muscle since starting this silly exercise habit thing#and i don't check how much i weigh because i don't care#and it would hopefully just go up anyway#but checked today for drug trial reasons and i'm 4kg less than last time? alright#again. genuinely doesn't mean much to me (anymore)#i don't think i need to lose any weight and tbh i'd rather not#but its still . ig. a sign that i've been consistent with something#which is SO hard#because i get into phases that go way too intense and then stop completely#but this is a normal amount to change by and i haven't done anything crazy#also kept it up for 6 months#so apparently i have the ability to form and keep habits now#and the weight is an indicator of that even if it was unintentional#(also for muay thai i have to be in a weight class)#(fighting is a long way off but it's at the back of my mind to pay more attention to it)#anyway. who would've thought i'd be doing this#✅️ learnt how to do habits at age 22
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throwback to plot resetting. worst time of my life
#if the price we paid to not plot reset was to become god that was a price worth paying.#acnl#talking about pre welcome amiibo plot resetting obviously#don't think i ever truly plot reset past welcome amiibo because i was hacking by that point but honestly i can't remember.#for anyone who doesnt remember WA changed how villagers plotted their houses#so they wouldn't place their house plot on any design (iirc unless no other space was available)#which means you can do the same thing as when you rock reset in new horizons except you place the design on the ground#also don't mind how ugly my town was that post is from 2015
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knowing it's ok for people to dislike characters for no reason and that they have no obligation of reading stories for characters they don't like vs if they were to read even just one short story they'd see they're factually wrong about many of their assumptions
#though often that's not enough to change people's mind (fair)#there would at least be less misconceptions...............#mar's midnight rambles#anyways. tori himemiya is someone who works hard to reach his goals and is earnest and kind he is a simple good kid#he doesnt actually have a mean bone in his body and he does not throw tantrums when things don't go his way#he isn't really that spoiled he just Isn't#which is obvious enough if you read almost any of his stories..................#like just the fact that he has yuzuru. it's so his parents wouldn't have to pay that much attention to him
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god the amount of art i would pump out if i stopped letting lineart talk me out of it i would be unstoppable
#this is a rant @ me and not to sound like i'm bragging when i say what i'm about to say#but i swear to god it takes more time/effort for me to do a cartoonish drawing than a photo realistic-ish drawing and i hate it#because sometimes i just want to do a simple drawing that's just lineart. maybe SOME shading.#but i fuss so much on how the lines should look and where to add more/less lines and what kind of thickness and blah blaaah#i have SO many art ideas i want to bring to life i stress myself out about it#i know that sounds so stupid#like yes just do art! do it bad! it's better than nothing!#but it's... deflating. especially when i literally have an art degree like#5 years of art school and i was barely taught anything about line art#'oh well that's in animation so you'd want to do a degree in television' ???#and those few times lineart was relevant was when there was a naked person in front of us when you're told to just replicate what you see#but we rarely had any variety between models and when i'm in that setting drawing someone my mind is just#~oh god naked person don't stare but i must don't think about it but it needs to be right oh god naked person i'm uncomfortable -+#like it was just overwhelming stress of getting it right rather than actually learning anything#which honestly sums up my art school experience overall#but it also doesn't help when you hate your own body so much and the idea of someone trying to draw you is just humiliating#(like at one point we had to partner up with someone and both paint their portrait AND model their head with clay#and i nearly had a breakdown and refused and asked if i could use someone at home instead#bc I've got plenty of scars and deformities and my face isn't symmetrical and i knew that was either going to be overlooked or exaggerated#and when it's the other way around i try my best to pay attention to detail but it's becoming this debilitating anxiety#of doing exactly that back. and it's made me paranoid to do anatomy related stuff) ANYWAY#it would have been good if people weren't ALWAYS naked and they helped us narrow down how different fabrics work on bodies and stuff#and to help us convey that through LINEART instead of needing to do whole ass paintings and detailed sketches and stuff#[SpongeBob voice] WHAT I LEARNED IN ART SCHOOL IS--- 😬#anyway if any fellow artists have any tips they'd be willing to share i would very happily listen#like i've got my drive back to draw things again which in itself is nice but man#it would be nice to not lose steam 5 minutes after anything i start drawing because i freak myself out#okay rant over if anyone's still here thank you for your patience and interest#me ranting
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ofmdkinktober2024 day 14 - squirting
gifs on twitter 🔞
#mine#ts4#sims#gentlebeard#ofmd#sim spice#hmmm stede's butt is p prominent in that one pic lmfao hopefully this stays up#rly like these gifs tho#greynaya is one of my fav animators all the little details they put in are sooooooo good#(stede's fingers covered in slick when he takes them out of ed.......... phew!!!)#how he barely lets ed catch his breath before going down on him....... 🥵#mentioned on twitter but things don't Quite line up perfectly#because this animation was made w fem framed sims in mind#(not saying that irl any particular frame is inherently masc or fem)#but for simplicity's sake in ts4 they are called masc and fem#but a masc framed sim can be female etc#but anyway masc framed vags don't sit at quite the same spot as fem framed ones#so 🤷♀️#i doubt anyone is paying attention to that lmfao but!!!#blegggggh monday i kinda wanna go back to sleep#and i guess i could because im off work today???????#wild!!!
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mission: run lightning through aatoi to try and speak to aliens was a SUCCESS, SOMEHOW
#(nerve got two crits on constructing this monstrosity)#aatoi#nerve#praiders#don't pay any mind to the dogshit perspective this thing has got going on#planet raiders#that's not the point of this. the point is cool machines#joe: how does aatoi interface with the machine? me: puts his head in a plasma globe. obviously.#dnd#dungeons and dragons#dnd 5e#somehow lol#would you believe me if i said nerve's class is technically now fighter#(cause he sure ain't a lover! not anymore! badumtss) (i am boo'd off the stage)
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#I get tired of people trying to explain what lens I should view the world through; what way I could think that would make everything better#forgive me but I don't care; I do what I do and I do what I can and you don't see the work I do under the hood#I don't want advice on self validation or whatever; I want... I want someone to hold a mirror up so I can actually see myself#by which I mean I want input on how I'm doing; if it's good enough; if it's worth anything; if anything I make is good#everyone things I'm nice; everyone has always thought I'm nice#but given nice leaves me profoundly isolated I don't think I care#not to mention in my opinion what nice in this instance means is that I'm capable of listening#it's mostly that I have manners rather than some quality about me#I'm well behaved and polite and can listen; and that's perceived as nice or even sweet#and it's not like I'm offended by people seeing me that way; but maybe you can get why... I can't do anything with that information#but if I'm doing enough... if I provide any value to the world... I might have heard that less times in my life than years I've lived#that's where I'm totally blind#people don't tend to offer any input; and also people don't tend to let me know what they're thinking#and I in fact am not a mind reader; I can often accurately infer things; but no of that means a thing till it's confirmed#and... well... hopefully no one reads the stupid shit I say and especially not the tags so this is safe and hidden#but truthfully people just like to hear that stuff they're doing is wanted and matters#and I do not#I don't know... gotta go do more cleaning cause I need to#and I have no idea if... I've got a reason for fighting so hard to clean; but I get very little input so... I expect... well...#and thankfully I don't think they read my tags so I can say this#but I really expect they won't take me up on my offer to come out here and get away from their parents; so there will be no pay off#not that I blame them in the slightest... it's just the only possible pay off for this cleaning would be helping someone I like out#and a scrap of company#but then again... in many ways anyone coming out to live with me is the worst thing they could probably do#sorry... I have a rather bleak outlook on many things surrounding myself purely cause of what I infer from the past#there is never pay off; only more shit I need to get done#I will never be loved; I will never be wanted; I will always just kinda be an afterthought that's occasionally worth venting to#no one will ever be particularly interested in anything I'm interested while I'll chase their interests or at least try to#certainly let them talk about them when they want#...though I take that over my normal total isolation... better to at least be permitted to follow in someone's shadow than have nothing
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i <3 feeling like i'm literally always making the wrong choice
#every passing day i dig a little deeper the bottomless debt i owe my parents#monetarily and morally#and god i wish i could kill myself but noooooo i tried again and i can't fucking do it i can't#so i just. i don't know i want to be incapacitated i want to be in the psych ward forever.#i don't want to fail and never make enough money to pay for their retirement home#i don't want to have to visit them every god-knows-how-often#i don't want to be fifty years old and still having to exist in relation to my parents#and god they've done nothing BAD i shouldn't want to cut all contact with them#but it's so. i don't know. i don't know how people even do it.#like you always have to come back home you always have to act right you always have to think abt them and text them and call them#and nothing you do is ever right and you want things that can't coexist with their happiness and peace of mind#and you're an asshole in every way you're an asshole deep down and you're an asshole outwardly too#but you can't stop wanting stupid things and acting weird and demanding#and it's a curse upon them to have you near but it's literally so fucking ungrateful of you to stray away a little#and you still do it because you can't stop wanting to follow things instead of keeping to your resolutions#and trying to do the best for them#and nothing is ever the best for them it's always just bad choices cause you shouldn't even exist you're just wrong you're born wrong#you don't want things that are good for them too and you're not capable of good things#dad wants to go on vacation at his family's like twice a year. mom want to stay home and take care of business and relax this year too#even now that grandma is gone and doesn't require her to be near. cuz emptying the flat & all of that.#and it's just. cool cool i make the wrong choice whichever way.#if i stay with mom i'll make dad's family sad and inconvenience my mom and leave dad alone#if i go with dad i'll leave mom alone (also alone to work on the flat) and i'll be an annoying asshole to dad and his family#because i'm too stupid and egoistical to pretend to be fine with things that mildly inconvenience me for five seconds#and either way i won't do any fucking work because i'm a sad piece of shit and i'm going to fail the fuck out of school next year#broadcasting my misery#vent
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the whole 'there are not very many Great Causes worth fighting for these days' from Julian scanned as WAY more out of touch than the moon landing thing for me the first time i read tsh
#like to the point of it being actively jarring when i got to him saying that#the secret history#'they landed on the moon??' well okay i guess it's not really their area#and they've been really out of touch with the news since it's also not really their area + they've been#off to the woods/a country house/etc and getting very drunk and killing deer and also people#i don't remember the exact dates re the moonlanding + the events of the book but like.#Sure. that's probably fair or at least kind of understandable#that could Feasably Happen On Accident at least#but julians like 'there isn't much worth fighting for these days' and um.#if you pay attention to literally anything happening in the world at any given moment at all. ever.#....what? literally what do you mean by this?#there have always been So So many Great Causes that people are dying for all the time constantly forever#and even if you've somehow managed to comoletely block out literally every piece of news/political development/etc#that's not really a reason to assume there Aren't. that's a reason to go like. well if there are any Great Causes left today then#I don't know about them. and even if we assume he's defining what makes a cause worth fighting for by classical values#and saying that that means for example that he wouldn't necessarily think of say the civil rights movement or liberatory movements etc#as fitting (which i think is also probably debatable- it comes to mind that the athenians valued (their own) freedom. political engagement#was valued but only the right kind from the right people. etc. what i'm saying is that#no i don't think they actually fit what julian would be thinking of as the classical mind's* idea of a great cause worth dying for#but also you could debate that/frame things differently/etc (*presumably there is a more particular subset of the population he has in mind#than just 'classical' or 'greek' in actuality. like. specifically those from whom we having writing/would have citizenship/etc.))#i'm certain there are plenty of arguments to be made. like plenty of people are fighting for various countries#it's not like wars or empires have stopped existing or other myriad conflicts have stopped existing#also in typing this i've realised he was maybe forshadowing henry's death#and now i need to go look up the exact quote and make another post i guess.#(also disclaimer that i'm aware i've phrased a lot of this clumsily. it is midnight these are the tags of a tumblr post and i am not sober.)#anyway to rephrase my initial point i just think with the moon landing thing that's One major event you missed.#if you're saying that there are No Great Causes Worth Fighting/Dying For (with the understanding that you think those are a thing#that can exist) then i think maybe you managed to skip out on hearing about significantly more#than just the one major event. that's much harder to manage i would think
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Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that
#Giving time...#Still more time...#Wouldn't want to plague any previews#Maybe another filler. Just for some fun#Is this enough?#It certainly is now#Alright start:#I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight#'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state /#/of constant self-loathing#I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea#What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not /#/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed#I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore#I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done#I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though#I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I /#/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward#I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme#Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way#God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs#It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my /#/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days#Literally what am I doing this for#And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with /#/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life#Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me#Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus#I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore#It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until
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