#don't mind me never getting over thasmin

[lahulotteshitpost]

***Sorry this started out as a rant***

The idea that you only reciprocate someone's love if you can be open about your feelings or date them is honestly insulting.

I find it especially mature from the Doctor to admit she can't date Yaz, knowing it will break her heart.

In LOTSD, you can clearly see the pain on their faces (both of them), but it's the kindest thing the Doctor could have done. Their relationship would have been unhealthy. We know this because we've seen the Doctor losing herself and being a terrible friend to Yaz.

And the Doctor knows that, she knows her mental state won't allow her to actually be in a relationship. She knows the relationship would be toxic, she knows she's been a terrible friend, she even admitted it in Flux but admitting it didn't fix her.

I've lived longer, seen more, loved more, and lost more.

- It Takes You Away

Yaz, I'm sorry. I didn't let you in to what I was doing... what I was looking for. I shouldn't have shut you out.

- The Vanquishers

But the point is, if it was going to be anyone, it'd be you. But I can't. Because at some point time always runs out.

- Legend of the Sea Devils

Not because I don't want to, because I might. But if I do fix myself to somebody I know, sooner or later, it'll hurt.

- Legend of the Sea Devils

The Doctor is very clear:

- she's not been a good friend,

- she loves Yaz,

- she wishes she could date her.

Being in love, even when it's reciprocal, doesn't always end in a relationship. Sometimes, even "trying" is impossible.

They can't be together, because the Doctor can't bring herself to do that. She's been desperately trying to avoid feelings and attachments since she fell into that Sheffield train. Of course, it doesn't work, and of course it's not a healthy coping mechanism, but this is something people go through.

Yaz understands. And I will argue that Yaz got to confess her love to the Doctor in LOTSD, they both expressed their feelings indirectly.

My nani says, courage is knowing something will hurt and doing it anyway. Mind you, she also said it's the definition of stupidity.

- Legend of the Sea Devils

This is Yaz telling the Doctor "I love you, I wish you could get over your fears, but I understand.

(And there is a lot to say about consent, as, clearly, understanding despite the pain is also the healthier reaction. You cannot force someone into a relationship, Yaz has often been mistreated by the Doctor but in this very moment, she is not a victim.)

There's a reason why she adds that bit about "stupidity" and it's not just to make the Doctor laugh.

Their romance is a slow burn with no happy ending. It's incredibly bittersweet, but it's also very real.

Mentally ill people who avoid relationships are often ashamed of it, we don't openly talk about it because it's definitely not "normal". You can be traumatised, depressed, anxious, but you're still in a happy romantic and sexual relationship, obviously.

Except when you can't.

I started shipping Thasmin during Series 12, initially believing it to be unrequited. I never expected it to be more than subtext, in a way it subverted a lot of my expectations.

I'm no different from most shippers, I was hoping for a kiss (every Doctor had one!) although I expected it to be disappointingly non romantic (à la Nine/Rose).

A kiss, the ultimate romantic trope!

Doctor Who didn't give me what I was hoping for.

It gave me something that I desperately needed.

Home.

Representation.

When you are one of those fucked up queer people, afraid of people knowing deep down you can't date, avoiding feelings and relationships because this is how your traumas shaped you, do you really get to see yourself?

Thasmin isn't every queer person, it isn't even every sapphic you will ever meet, but no story is. And their queerness isn't the cause of their doomed love, which I find extremely respectful and far from usual tropes.

I can see myself in them, at different stages of my life. I know some aro/ace spec people see their relationship as very queerplatonic and also felt represented.

Maybe you don't, and that's fine. You don't have to see yourself in them, you don't have to like this story.

Just understand other queer people will.

[bloodstained-ballgowns]

hmm. okay. well. i'm about to say a lot of things about 'the timeless children' that have already been said by greater minds, the only difference being that it's me saying them this time and i've never said them before.

sure. overhaul the history of gallifrey. make the 'home' the doctor already has such complicated grief for be based on a lie. make them question their own nature even further when faced with the corrupt, violent genesis of the people from which they came. one of the trademark motifs of thirteen's era is power structures and the ways that they fail the people who rely on them - discovering that time lord existence was predicated on the extended experimentation on/imprisonment of a child fits into that. you can even keep the memory wipes. make them 'the beast below'-style, keep up the systemic conspiracy.

but. head in my hands. at the risk of sounding like a melodramatic traditionalist: you get that having the doctor be the timeless child negates the show's core-most values, right. you get that 'the doctor' is a moniker to live up to and active choice rather than predisposition is a key part of that. you get that having the master say "all i am is somehow because of you and believe me when i say i cannot bear that", a wonderful entry into the "i wonder what i'd be without you" "she's the only person i've ever met who is even remotely like me" annals, and then tying that to genetics basically spits in the face of their entire history and relationship as we've seen it develop. ...right?

and sure, you could point to the moffat era and argue that the doctor hasn't been 'just some guy' in a long time. pandoricas don't get erected to imprison pete from down the road. intergalactic theocratic orders don't arise out of fear of the friendly neighbourhood time traveller. all of which would be true, i think the key difference being that moffat's doctor is deified because of the things he has done, the people he has saved, the enemies he has amassed, *not* due to any genetic component. the doctor is 'chosen' because they choose, over and over, to be selfless, to do good, even (especially) when it goes against their nature. *that agency* is what makes the mad man in a box 'special', and taking that away kind of kills me tbh.

it's not all bad, however. jodie and sacha are an incandescent pairing and it's always a joy to watch them go nose to nose. segun akinola's cybermen theme is appropriately terrifying and/or exhilirating. she's so mean here, i love when she gets to be mean. these episodes said thasmin rights, we're going to have yaz be the most tenacious, the most resourceful, the most devoted to the doctor you have ever seen as of yet. and a lovely graham-yaz scene: “you said to the doc you thought she was the best person you’d ever met. you know what, yaz? i think you are. you ain’t got a time machine or a sonic, but you’re never beaten.” (there's something in my eye)

[quietwings-fics]

unsteady

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Doctor Who Ship: Thasmin Additional Tags: Dubcon Kissing, Surprise Kissing, First Meetings Wordcount: 469 Summary:

There's a woman in the Doctor's TARDIS.

Prompt:

"Consider: Missy/Yaz"

There's a woman in the Doctor's TARDIS.

Actually, it takes Yaz a minute to realize that she absolutely should not be in there. She's a bit caught on the… everything else about her, the dress and the hair and the self-assured way she seats herself on a comfy bit of the console like it belongs to her, one leg crossed over the other. She eyes Yaz as she enters in a way that's a little like the Doctor sometimes looks, only the Doctor never turns that gaze on Yaz or Ryan or Graham. She reserves it for people who really piss her off, and then it surfaces, something viciously capable of tearing them apart. This woman adds a smile to it, and that, too, is uncomfortably familiar.

"Sorry, who are you?" Yaz asks.

"I'm Missy," she answers. "Don't mind me. I'm a little to the left of where I should be in time, but I'm sure the Doctor will be glad to send me back on my way. He's sweet like that."

"She." Missy's eyes widen in utter delight.

"Really? I'm taking credit for that." She hops off of the console. Her boots click against the metal of the TARDIS as she draws closer. Yaz takes a step back. "And you're one of her prettier pets. What's your name?"

"Yasmin Khan," she says, defensively. "I travel with her. I'm not her pet. I'm her- her friend." Missy's eyes narrow.

"Same thing." Too fast for Yaz to move out of the way, Missy's hand darts out and snags her jaw. She tips Yaz's head down to face her and Yaz feels her run her thumb over her lower lip, the nail catching just before she lets it fall away. Yaz's breath is caught in her throat. Missy takes full advantage of her shock and drags her in as Yaz's late protest gets muffled against her mouth. Missy takes her lip between her teeth, nips too hard, leaves it stinging in memory of her as she pulls back. Yaz all but yanks herself out of her grip, stumbling backwards so hard that she rams right into one of the TARDIS's columns. Missy laughs, and Yaz realizes she's trapped between her and the column, and-

"Stop tormenting my friend!" the Doctor calls. Yaz exhales in relief as Missy's attention turns away from her. Her lip aches dully, and she's trying to pretend that's the only feeling Missy left behind, the only reason her legs feel shaky and she needs to keep leaning back into the column. "Yaz, are you okay?" The Doctor looks worried, shooting a glare at Missy that earns a innocent flutter of her eyelashes in response.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Yaz lies. The Doctor gets between the two of them in another few steps, and Yaz can steady herself again.

(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)

[cosmicallyavg]

I posted 4,056 times in 2022

1,014 posts created (25%)

3,042 posts reblogged (75%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thirteenmyspacegirl

@cosmicallyavg

@timelostdoctor

@timelordgifs

@regenerationofthedoctor

I tagged 4,031 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#doctor who - 2,543 posts

#q - 1,894 posts

#thirteen - 898 posts

#thasmin - 606 posts

#yasmin khan - 520 posts

#dw spoilers - 305 posts

#series 13 - 305 posts

#dw fanart - 279 posts

#the power of the doctor - 251 posts

#eli dont look at this - 206 posts

Longest Tag: 66 characters

#💜🖤💚❤💗💛💚🧡🖤💜🤍🤎🧡💙💛🖤🤍💓💗💞💜🤍🤎🧡💙🖤💚❤🤎💓💓💗💞🤍

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hello everyone and happy pride!! 🌈

this is a project i’ve been working on for a few months now and am so excited to finally share the completed version with everyone!!! i’m a sucker for pride flag sticker/etc. designs and i decided to create some of my own - they are subtle enough to be safe for anyone who maybe can’t normally buy pride stuff, but still recognizable within the community (hopefully lmao) 

then, of course i wanted to combine them all into one big piece that would still be subtle - i was inspired by those vintage butterfly species posters and wanted to recreate a version of that with my pride butterflies! the labels underneath each butterfly are short descriptions of what each flag represents, to also help keep things under the radar. super special thanks to @yourlocaltrylingual for helping me with the french translations <3333

all of the individual butterflies can be found on my redbubble, as well as the main poster! they all have nondescript names for safe ordering <;3 

i hope everyone is having, and continues to have a safe and happy pride month, i couldn’t have asked for a better community to be a part of!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

1,039 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

#4

has anyone else ever stopped to think how the tardis feels when doctors and companions leave because its ruining me rn

like imagine you're this sentient spaceship and you have an unbreakable bond with a time lord who stole you and ran away. and how sad it must be watching them die and be reborn over and over again. feeling them die and be reborn over and over again. oftentimes destroying your very being in the process. you've been together for thousands of years, possibly more, and you've gone on nearly every adventure together. 

they know you inside and out (literally) and while they are a quite careless owner, they make up for it with the constant repairs when you get damaged or need general maintenance. its how they show you they care, because you know they do. you have a telepathic connection with them, after all.

you take them wherever they need to go, even if its not where they want to go. its fun to show off every now and then and make it look like they don't know how to pilot you. but all of time and space, so many distress signals, you hear planets and ships and people calling out for help. your time lord isn't like the others, they like to help. you take them to those people so they can help.

and oh, the people. your time lord likes to pick up strays along the way - human beings more often than not. you don't particularly like the idea, the humans always have sad endings, and you don't like to see - to feel - your time lord experience that sadness over and over again. but they continue. how many has it been now? too many to count. but you keep count, you do. 

some of the humans you're more fond of than others. some of them your time lord is more fond of than the others. some of them grow on you, others don't, but all the same if your time lord cares about them, you care about them. you like when they say that you’re bigger on the inside, that part is fun.

perhaps you don’t mind the humans as much as you should, you're supposed to have multiple pilots anyway. if this is how you procure them, then so be it. unfortunately your time lord never cares to show any of them how. they would rather bumble around on their own and crash land into things than share that part of you to their human friends. hubris has always been their downfall.

there have been a few that have done it though, some more successfully than others. finally! you have another pilot!! you like these ones especially, they pilot you much more carefully than your time lord ever has, and they have established what little telepathic connection their tiny human brains can handle. not quite the same that you have with your time lord, but every little bit helps you feel more connected to those humans than the others.

it hurts more when those ones leave.

it hurts when all of them leave.

but your time lord continues on. drying up the tears and probably regenerating into a new face - again - but this new face loves you all the same. they pick up more strays. the strays leave. repeat endlessly.

you have too many bedrooms in storage, too many clothing preferences in the back of your wardrobes, too many favorite snacks left to expire in the cupboards, too many personal items and too many souvenirs from their travels hidden away, never to be picked up again. but you're infinite, you can keep going so long as your time lord keeps breathing. you can continue growing and changing, making room for every new human friend, altering yourself for every version of your time lord.

you hold all of these memories, all of these lives, just the same as your time lord. but they don't have to organize, sort, and carry the physical reminders of all of those lives like you do.

they can saunter off and forget it all, when its convenient. but you know they don't actually forget. neither of you can ever forget. 

and the weight isn't any less just because there's two of you to carry it.

1,114 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

#3

wait no in jodies dwm interview she says she was pregnant while filming tpotd and that it gave her a special insight into the character that no other doctor has had before because she actually had two hearts and im really not okay im So emotional

1,586 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

#2

alignment chart but it’s just the different ways people type out “tardis” when they write fic

2,434 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

the ending of thirteens era being "she is loved" and her literally saying that she loved being this version is so. good actually. this whole era was full of so much hatred for thirteen/jodie and having her last moments be full of love was so good. that the doctor accepted the love and had a happy regeneration for the first time in a while. it really felt like a nod to all of the people who stuck by her side during all of this and actually watched her era and appreciated it. a nod to people like us. and im so happy

2,654 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thasmine]

sometimes i think about how yaz didn't get the ending she deserved and i want to scream. she sacrificed her whole life—her family, her friends, her job, her ambitions—for thirteen and she put her heart and soul into travelling in the tardis. she learned how to be with the doctor, even how to be the doctor, but all she has to show for it is a brave face and a broken heart. sometimes i think about how yaz lost her co-pilot along with all her hopes and dreams of getting more from the world, and i just want to scream.

[fortytworedvines]

I posted 1,074 times in 2021

51 posts created (5%)

1023 posts reblogged (95%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 20.1 posts.

I added 614 tags in 2021

#ted lasso - 168 posts

#jemma redgrave - 72 posts

#ted lasso spoilers - 70 posts

#berena - 67 posts

#doctor who - 59 posts

#thasmin - 42 posts

#bernie wolfe - 38 posts

#bbc ghosts - 38 posts

#sigh - 30 posts

#thirteen - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 112 characters

#there is pain and suffering but the characters show kindness and forgiveness and that's what makes it so special

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

After thirteen, and yaz in that outfit, and thirteen/yaz longing and Kate Stewart all in one episode, I am a big gay mess.

33 notes • Posted 2021-11-28 20:06:16 GMT

#4

Don't mind me, I'll just be reliving that hug for the foreseeable future.

33 notes • Posted 2021-12-05 20:19:03 GMT

#3

Is there anybody here who is a fan of both cabin pressure and Ted lasso? Please join me in yelling about the parallels.

42 notes • Posted 2021-06-30 15:54:15 GMT

#2

A failed escape

It was a gentle, warm morning. The sunlight filtered through the shutters and Bernie sighed into the comfort of her pillow, the reassuring weight of Serena pressing against her back, one leg slung over her hip.

It was perfect.

They never moved fast in the mornings but eventually they drifted together into the kitchen, to put on the coffee and make some toast. And then -

“What’s that?” Bernie asked, sudden fear making her voice raspy.

Serena followed her gaze to the innocent looking envelope lying by the door. “Oh no,” she breathed. “Oh no.”

“You said you’d left!” Bernie picked it up as gingerly, holding it as though it was burning her. The Holby City logo threatened them from one corner.

“I did!”

Bernie put the envelope on the table and they stared at it.

“Well then,” Serena said briskly. “Let’s see what we’re dealing with.” She tore the envelope open and tugged the contents out, then stared at it blankly. “Bernie – it’s...”

Bernie’s throat closed up at the look on Serena’s face. “Bernie, it’s you.”

Bernie reached out for the papers and they were crisp in her fingers. Real. She scanned the top page slowly.

“How did they find me?” she breathed. “I tried so hard.”

“I remember,” Serena said wryly, but Bernie carried on.

“I planted the dog tags, I made sure my blood was all over the body armour. I was gone, Serena.”

Serena’s hand covered Bernie’s clenched fingers. “What do they want you back for? How long?”

Bernie flipped through the pages rapidly. “A couple of weeks.” She leant her head against Serena’s, turned another page. “They’re blowing me up again!”

58 notes • Posted 2021-09-09 19:21:08 GMT

#1

So let's think of the absolute worst things the writers can do with bernie, so that we're prepared.

My ideas:

1. They bring her back to kill her on screen.

2. "I'm straight, it was just a phase."

109 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 20:01:23 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →