#don't mind me i'm deep digging stuff I want on my blog

[enjomo-arch]

all of ace sbs answers i managed to find ( da thread of images )

novel images

[ms-demeanor]

sorry if you've answered this before, and i hope you don't mind me asking, how do you know so much about computers and what seems to me like everything in the world? how did you become so knowledgeable? it's amazing

i just know a little about a lot of things and I probably have a fair number of things that I've dug into more than most people and less than people who actually focus on that stuff! It's kind of an illusion!

I do know a lot about computers and that's because I've worked at a computer company for 12 years and have been deep into a computery subculture for about 20 years - I do genuinely know a lot about consumer computers. That I'll own and that's experience.

I know a fair amount about literature because I've got a degree in it!

I know a fair amount about journalism because I've got most of a degree in it and I worked with journalists for a long time!

I know a fair amount about nutrition because I've got most of a degree in it and because I've been focused on reading a lot about nutrition for more than a decade because of my own food issues!

But mostly I'm just someone who falls down rabbitholes and has a decent ability to recall what I find when I run down them.

Also I get curious about things and will just go. Experience them.

Like at some point i came across a site for people who own and use RealDolls and I got interested in learning more. The site required an application because they didn't want people just trolling so I applied and I ended up reading through the whole site and reading the magazines they sent out for years after because it was just interesting. The way these guys bought clothes or compared repair techniques and cleaning techniques, the way they constructed identities for their dolls - it was all interesting! So now I know about the proper way to store a RealDoll and how their skeletons are put together and the best way to prevent rips or clean inserts.

Now imagine that with everything.

I got interested in quack medicine so I ended up reading the entire back catalogs of quackwatch and science-based medicine.

I got interested in the history of aspartame as a scare-word and I ended up reading a couple of books, SEVERAL entire blogs with decades-long runs, purchasing a military magazine from the 90s, and submitting a FOIA request.

But, like. I don't own a RealDoll or work in that industry. I am not a medical professional. I am not a chemist who works with aspartame. So I get these weird little collections of information where I know what *seems* like a lot to someone who hasn't looked into it but I know a lot less than someone who has taken the time to actually dedicate themselves to that topic.

And sometimes it's a years-long dive and sometimes it's a months-long dive and sometimes it's a few hours of me digging online until I feel satisfied with what I've learned and I never come back to it, but I've got three more talking points than your average joe at a party would.

(Also though I've attended various colleges at various levels for ten-ish years now and I've taken probably more college-level classes on a lot of subjects than most people have because I've now spent several years just kind of kicking around at community colleges and deciding that a cartooning class sounds fun or that a mesoamerican art class fills certain transfer requirements or that I might as well brush up on spanish, french, and german. Access to low-cost college classes in california is a big part of this, and having the time and money to take classes while i'm working is something that I've been very lucky with)

I've also worked pretty much continuously since I was 18, sometimes holding multiple jobs at once, and I know a lot of interesting people who do a lot of interesting things and I ask them about their interesting experiences and if they offer me a chance to go do cool shit with them, like launch a high altitude balloon or blow up some dynamite that's about to expire or join a band, I do it!

I was also one of those kids who had no friends and spent too much time at the library so I'd do things like read through medical textbooks or pull a book of home chemical formulas out of the trash and read it or take it into my head that I was going to read all of Shakespeare before I got to high school so I was a really annoying twelve-year-old and that kind of thing never really let up.

I don't know! I don't think it's that unusual and I think most people do this kind of thing I just happen to have less focus than a lot of people and talk a lot more.

[keeponquinning]

some joseph quinn rpf talk, if you're not into that shh shh shhh, scroll away. right away. do not go under the read more, this is for the joe rpf folks. but. 18+ adults only. smut.

i haven't written here with me series in a long while bc life and other interests and how the way things go HOWEVER. i always have thoughts and thots and sometimes i wanna make a side blog just for that series so i can drop random bits and stuff for those that like it or maybe just for me idk i'm my own hype person for that series HOWEVER...

joe with the shaved head and training in boot camp in my mind and heart is the most unhinged and horny he's ever been.

now he and reader are already always horny for each other let's not get this twisted. but when he's spending his time training, tired and exhausted and he goes back to his flat and reader is just THERE, chilling, writing, doing her tiktoks, trying to catch up with her bestie back home, all of that, he's just absolutely feral over her.

like i don't know, maybe with being physical all day, he wants to just get lost in her. lost in her cunt. hearing the little moans and whimpers as he drives his cock so deep in her they both get lost.

any form of daddy kink he has goes up tenfold and he just fucking melts when she calls him daddy in that desperate, strained and whimpering voice.

he gets so HANDSY even, she's just walking around in nothing but one of his old shirts and he just grabs her, wraps his arms around him and brings her to his lap like.... "Fuck, I need you right now..."

and she's more than happy to oblige, she's been missing him all day and while the buzzcut was a shock at first, she's quickly fallen for it, fallen for him, because it's joseph how can she not. kissing the top of his head randomly, followed by his lips. then he lets out a growl and she melts, shudders and her brain turns off, bouncing and riding his cock until she feels him twitch inside and then the feel of his cum coating her insides, so thick and plentiful that they both know he's made a mess of her.

taking his cock inside her mouth, tasting the both of them after. hearing him moan, whisper her name, calling her a good girl that only makes her go faster and suck harder. Hearing him panting and moaning, whimpering he's so fucking close, nails digging into his hips, and he can't help but fuck her mouth and throat a bit, hearing how wet her throat is just for him, telling her he's going to cum so hard for her...

the afterglow amazing, kissing each other deeply and just lost in each other's arms. Touching and tasting, biting each other's necks, she can't mark him but he can mark her and he does, teeth catching and tugging on the skin and it hurts but feels so good that she begs him to do it again.

she's in a daze after, feeling his fingers trace over the marks, kissing them lightly, whispering about how much he loves her, adores her, glad to have her with him.

and then they do it all over again 😩

[dustofthedailylife]

just out of curiosity since you mentioned you only have a couple of ships, who do you ship in genshin?

*sweats*

Don't mind me as I panic because I'm literally scared of the shipping-side of fandoms in general (I've seen how people talk to each other on twitter when their ships don't align and, oh boy, I want nothing to do with that...) >.<'

But my ships are fairly popular aside from one... I guess? I have three I like. Just to give a specific number. And while I don't read or write ship fanfics, since I prefer x Reader, I do like to look at fanart occasionally.

I'll put them UTC because I assume some people don't want to read that on their timeline since this is primarily an x Reader blog <3

Zhongli x Guizhong

I've shipped them pretty much since I started playing the game in 2021. I got super invested into Zhongli's lore and eventually came across her name. Then I started digging deeper into her lore and theories about her and fell in love with her and the ship.

I suppose this is something of a niche ship? Especially now with the new Lantern Rite where GuiPing seems to have overtaken it. And I've already seen people attacked over shipping GuiLi because of that too on twt now... cause apparently it's homophobic to ship them now? Idk... make it make sense. This is why I usually stay out of this.

2. Cyno x Tighnari

These two... I swear Sumeru has changed me somehow because as I stated in prior asks: I'm usually not into shipping characters so whenever I start liking two characters I have a sort of "denial stage" at first where I'm like "nah, I don't ship them... or maybe... no.... yes?".

And at first I was like "yeah they're best friends, whatever"... then I saw more and more fanart and was like "yeah, you know what, they're kinda cute." and eventually fanart converted me into shipping them. So, good job fanartists - the domestic and cuddly scenarios you put them in made me cave 👌🏻

And lastly...

3. Alhaitham x Kaveh

This one also seems to be quite popular and I basically just got past the above mentioned denial stage, haha! 😂

I have to admit I couldn't stand Kaveh at all at first, he seemed like a handful and I was like "yeah, they'd never get along in a million years, especially not as a couple."

Then I played Haitham's story quest and saw the interaction with Kaveh... then I saw more fanart again. Then [insert denial stage here] and I guess I'm now at the point where I can say, yeah... I like them and I also like Kaveh now... he is just such a kindhearted soul (even if he is a bit eccentric, I suppose).

Good job fanartists, once again 🤝🏻

So yeah, that is all of them.

I want to mention that I am really lost when it comes to shipping terminology and I also don't really want to get involved in all that stuff. It's all a bit too stressful for me.

I do want to draw fanart of these ships but I'm a bit too scared to do so and only drew things that could be interpreted as both ship or platonic (they're posted on my art blog, I'll keep this blog clear of that). Because I've seen how vile shippers get towards other ships at times when they don't like the portrayed one... instead of - you know - ignoring it??? Especially on twt.

And don't get me started on some "rules" people have put up for shipping. Like, just let me have the idea of two fictional characters being all lovey-dovey. If it makes me or anyone else happy, who cares? (as long as it isn't problematic ships ofc...)

I never intend to write ship fanfic however since that is something I also don't enjoy consuming myself. I always preferred self-insert 🤷🏻‍♀️

And lastly, idc if anyone ships these peeps with someone else or doesn't ship them with anyone at all. It's fictional characters and at the end of the day... it ain't that deep (which is why I'll never understand why some people make such a fuss over it...)

[rei-hunt]

Hi, previous post get few more likes than i had expect. I really thankful for yours observe to same character which getting my eyes too. But here is two moment that confused me.

First. i'd liked one post which i can't find in likes of account. and i been glad if that person just blocked me. its bc i don't wanna be a trigger to self censoring for someone. This will been important in second.

Second. I was sight a repost with historical hetalia's tag. After it i have mood up cause my interest with history and culture as if has been recognized. And later i was seriously become to mind about how deep will should my research for being accept by me like historical/cultural hetalia. And which medias could been relatably as historical. Then if dig deeply, which referencies would been actual for an historical accurate and which shall not been use. By what rules should selecting all this. And would am i want fit it all on my works, even i delighting by autors of historical content. And then i beginning to mind of my role to my works, why i want creating, about roles of character in my fiction, why they are matched as it.

It's good loaded me. And in final i been to get an art block with anxien of being actively in hetalia's fandom. But i don't want becoming to ghost and painfully expecting on content with wales definitely.

And first step to not transform in sad potato will be my explanation for random users seeing my blog:

I'm inspirited by history and culture of Wales. But i'm not creating an historical/cultural Hetalia cause my feels and individual get in works. I'm confident that welsh is can representing they self. And if you want learn somewhat about Wales and welsh, you are welcome to blogs and other mediacreators that popularizing history and culture of them. Don't address to me with this even i'm not bad drawing.

Also i want to say, due to fact that my feels and relevant for me themes get in my works, the characterization of brit bros is not fit in events of real life. And for don't been mad by my fiction add a #loosely historical AU by rh tag to filter tags in settings of your account.

As well, i'll post with sourse and other information in sideblog from now on and add link to info-post under art. And there i'll post some stuff about welsh culture or history/ All my sourses from internet. Usually i haven't access to archives and history books.

AUs will be taged like '___ AU'. If i'll use materials from other fandoms for allusion or pastiche i'll to tag it like 'materials from ___'.

All my incest ships art will be hiddened under a cut and have tag with cw. In incest ships will taked ALL pairings with brit bros, without keep on or not by incest plot. Reason in canon where brits are brothers. If in art will be keeped incest plot in precut will has been added incest plot

sorry for long post. russian ver here for them who knows russian this is preferable bc i can mistake in english

[themadchatterer]

Identifying Your Super Power(s)

Hello little blog, my old friend. I’ve come to write in you again. It’s been a while, but you’ve been on my mind. There is no other platform so perfect for the morning thoughts I'm having about people and archetypes.

Asking the question, “Who are you?” can elicit confusion. Asking, “How do you see yourself?” prompts ramblings, a paragraph length of descriptors. “What do you do,” which is the favored way Americans like to identify to each other, is just a career or job question. It doesn’t really say much about who you are underneath and inside. But I think author Malcolm Gladwell was onto something when he described personality types in his book The Tipping Point back in the day. Though the book has been out for a while, and this info has been written about many times, it’s still good stuff and deserves a refresher look. In chapter two Gladwell describes three special types of people:

Connectors: These people link us up with the world, introduce us to our social circles – these people we rely on more heavily than we realize. Connectors are people with a very special gift of bringing people together. Some qualities include:

Surprised you know so many people?

You enjoy people?

Have a knack for remembering names?

Like to meet new people?

Find that you collect acquaintances?

Mavens: People who have information on a lot of different products or prices or places. These people are early adopters and identifiers who become sources of information. Some qualities include:

Junk mail reader?

Like to look for deals at the grocers?

Trend watcher?

Don't buy until you've researched?

Happy to share your "good finds" with friends?

Salespeople: These are the people who persuade others to adopt ideas or products. They are able to build instant rapport with another person and gain their trust. Some qualities include:

Can't sit still when you hear a good song?

Laugh a bit too loud?

Touchy-Feely with people?

Have that special charisma?

Being in the spotlight is no big thing?

It’s said when you identify your primary “Tipping Point” you know how to capitalize on your strengths, and most importantly, you identify the qualities in archetypes that you lack in your life. You might even say recognizing your primary archetype reveals one of your super powers.

The tendency is to see qualities from more than one archetype in ourselves. I did. With all three archetypes. I do have the nerdiness of a Maven and I have the touch-feely quality when talking to others. But if I look over the many years of my life, starting from my kindergarten years, especially how I am around others, I'm definitely a Connector.

When you recognize your primary archetype, you can look for people who complement you. You likely need a different archetype than yourself in your life to help you further your goals--personal or job related--to help you think and act more holistically.

So do these things: 1. Identify yourself. Are you a Connector, a Maven or a Salesman? 2. Evaluate your way of living. Are you setting yourself up for success or failure? Connectors build bridges, Mavens dig deep and research, and Salesmen influence and sell. What are you doing? 3. Identify your missing archetype. Do you need a Salesperson, Connector or Maven? Go find them.

Share and trade your superpower with others and watch your life bloom in ways you didn’t even imagine.

Connect with me if you want to learn the specifics of why I know I'm a Connector. I would enjoy learning how you identify yourself, too.

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

I'm glad you liked it I am a disabled individual myself so Cyrus is very important to me it's how I know how to write the disability aspects I am an ambulatory wheelchair user and I've already had experiences not with being undersold but people just glaring at me or otherwise unfortunately, and I am an artist by trade I write and draw scenes if I'm motivated enough

(From another AU I was working on called The Emperor and Empress of Ice a more historical S11 AU based on Imperial China, this is Pixal as the Empress of Ice in Semi Formal Attire out for a walk. I based her appearance upon actual Chinese historical dramas)

And something you didnt catch because its a blink and you miss it moment that other character Citrine, that is Skylar's mother, I believe she was a Kabuki and one thus kidnapped by Chen. Cyrus to me tried to find her when she went missing, but at the time unfortunately he just didn't have the power or connections to really dig deep and find her.

I have a whole lore section on Cyrus alone a lot of it incorporated into this fanfiction eventually this Pixal would become an original character I have actual art for Violet Borg, shes the First Pixal created on a laptop by a 15 year old Cyrus

Pixal 1.0 aka Violet Borg Art by Me

I have even begun a cosplay of her haha it's definitely very early stages I don't have the makeup or the correct outfit yet but I've cosplayed her

( by the way if you do have a tick tock and want to follow me it's, that_disabled_cosplayer pic of me cosplaying Pixal as the card)

People really haven't shown any interest with the Borg Siblings even though they are actually very important to my writings especially regarding Cyrus. Been posting for a long time and again no interest,

I have a lot of determination but I haven't been able to hit anything unfortunately, I've been doing it for years and I don't know what happened but slowly my numbers dropped until nowadays I only get about 5 to 6 notes and about 90% of them are likes and it doesn't help me at all @kerriloyal thank you by the way for re-blogging my stuff that is how one gets things out there on this site. I see and appreciate you I appreciate everybody who notices my stuff who reblogs and interacts with it.

I post a lot on here and again I don't know what happened but it seems like everybody forgot I'm still here. I've been here since 2014 so I'm not exactly new in fact I'm one of the few veterans running around still on Tumblr because I adamantly refuse to switch over to Twitter like the stubborn hard head I am lmao

As for the Clifford thing as crazy as it is and most likely not going to happen I believe Clifford and Cyrus are half Brothers same mother different father and there is a whole lore story I could go into I have a huge giant web just for Cyrus I could rant about that man all day that I have created over literal years close to a decade I have spent building Cyrus Borgs lore and story and everything after the writers really showed that they're not going to do anything with him other than bring him on occasionally as a minor character.

I do have a AO3 if anyone wants to check it out here

Just please be careful. I do have 18 plus stuff on here please be mindful of the rating and also of the tags but this is where you can find a lot of my writings,

I'm very very happy you enjoyed it and it motivates me to continue on with the second chapter guaranteed I will probably be posting this soon after I polish It Off I'm really really glad you liked it

I just keep trucking away hoping someday my page might spring back to life with something I post like today!

What Could Have Been A Cyrus and Zane AU

This is an au I am working on what if Cyrus and Zane had met when they were both young after all Zane is much older than the rest of the group what if Dr Julian passed before he could wipe Zanes memory leaving Zane on a completely different path to his canonical self

In this world Zane Julian upon discovering his father's passing buried him and realized he needed to now take care of himself so he went out and search for work and wasn't really finding anything until he helped a man deliver arcade cabinets to the local repair shop running into Cyrus Borg who was 20 years of age and just had opened Borg Industries Arcade Repair in the year 1995 before even a majority of the Ninja were born.

He first started out working for Cyrus and then it just developed into more, a relationship between the two developed, a lot of the details will be explained in this AU but just know that Pixane would be really weird in this World after all Zane Julian-Borg is her creator alongside Cyrus Julian-Borg along with her 15 other siblings.

[funkymbtifiction]

Hello Charity,

Some weeks ago I used to think that I was a 1w9 but upon further inspection I realized that I'm actually a 4w5 (sp/so). The integration/disintegration lines to 1 and 2 manages to explain why I did act in a certain ways when I was younger. Now that I think about it, the last year I though that I was an INTJ 5w4 before realizing that I was an INFJ that was pretending to have a Ni-Fi loop. Getting back to the actual question: could you please give to me some suggestions for my self-growth? Thank you for the work that you're doing here, I learned a lot about the enneagram thanks to your blog :)

4s need to learn to identify themselves as withdrawn types (they don't chase people but let them come to them -- so they need to put in more of an effort with their relationships to "pursue" instead of being aloof), to recognize that they often cause themselves to fall into ongoing states of frustration (instead of focusing on what is missing, learn to acknowledge and appreciate what you possess), and to recognize that nothing good will happen in their life unless they actively choose to do something about it (rather than being frustrated about it but inactive about it).

You will find as you learn more about 4s and think about how to become a healthier version of yourself that it's extremely difficult to fight against your natural type patterns. It's going to be a lifelong process in which you must take and celebrate even a SMALL victory, because it's not like you can wake up one morning and decided, "I am no longer a reactive-frustration type." My best advice is to dig deep into the 4 (read my 4 page, read Richard Rhor's stuff on 4, read Enneagrammer's stuff on 4) so that you can start identifying the negative mechanisms within yourself WHILE YOU ARE DOING them, and from there, start arguing with yourself against them, or deliberately choosing to do the opposite. It's going to be hard, but if you want to advance to a new level of health, it has to be done.

The biggest hurtle will be the actual Image Type element -- where you will need to remind yourself that you don't need to reject everything all the time in order to maintain a sense of elitism or intrigue. That you are unique just for being you, not for being anti-whatever-the-masses are. That your uniqueness comes from within, not what you 'project' into the world.

Self-work can be both enriching because you realize while doing it how much better you know yourself now (no more excuses!), but also disheartening because it becomes obvious rather quickly that you are at the complete mercy of your number's reactive instincts and entrenched in your own patterns.

For example, I know that 6s go around and around in a cycle of unproductive thinking -- and I can tell when I am doing it, but getting OFF that cycle of unproductive thinking is hard, because my own mind tells me "you still need to reconsider this!" It's like being a hamster on a wheel and when you stagger off it, you feel like you still belong on the wheel. But unless I get off the damn wheel, I'll never start going forward. So as a 4, when you start fighting against your own image projection, your inner self is going to rebel and scream that you can't do that, you MUST maintain it!

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

For the last ask

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

And

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

Also, I would like to ask if you have any ficwriters-friends? Do you read their work? Would you read their work if they wrote on a fandom you don't know? Or gift? It's a strange question, I agree, but have they ever written a fic-gift for you? Like, I imagined it. "I don't have a fucking thing, so here's my little freak, its name is "The Last Night of the Stars", love it, plz".

A lot of questions, yes. You know, you're the most open person I've met on Tumblr, like, they don't answer me very often, even if I write some Ask question Ask. And you answer not just questions of Ask, but also abstract questions. I like it

And I'm not a ficwriter, I don't have ficwriter-friends, and I don't know any ficwriter, so for me your world is literally "wtf? What's it? Is that normal?"

Ps. I've never read or seen anything with the title "the last night of the stars", I didn't want to offend anyone, these are just the first three abstract words that came to my mind

I'm just trying to think if you're trying to set me on a wrong track by claiming you don't write, nonny. I have suspicions. But you know why I am so open? Because I'm super curios. This is my me-time-space. My fandom space. My obsessions place. The one place I can do whatever I want without thinking about what people think about it. And I love to see all the other obsessions! It could of course also be that I answer almost everything because this is a super small rare pair dedicated blog that nobody outside of my obsessions even notices. Which is fine by me :)

BUT now to your questions!

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Well. "Much" is relative, isn't it. I don't dig in super deep, but most of the time I don't have to, I feel. You see, and I don't want to praise myself here, but I have studied information design, and I've learned to select information quickly. I can get a good overview over an unknown topic. It's not enough to know every detail, of course, which is why I might either be vague sometimes or just bluntly make something up - which I always explain in the author's notes! I love researching things, actually. You know, I'm so curious I even completed a degree in Journalism. Researching was the most fun for me :) I'd love to tell you the latest things I researched, but as they are also for the event fic I can't tell much about it. But there are things I found out about a specific thing that were so interesting, I will explain a lot about that when the fic is out.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

Ah, that's hard. There's two types of success, I believe: the one where you think your personal goals are achieved, and the fandom success, meaning the fic has reached a lot of the audience. In both cases, you'll probably measure that success by kudos and/or comments. Writing for rare pairs, I personally think 100 kudos is quite successful (and many of my fics don't reach that!). But then again... I think, a fic of mine is successful when I get comments like "I missed a station reading this" or "I cried".

Oh, and I forgot one of your questions, so quick edit. Do I have fic writer friends? Yes. Do I read their stuff? Sometimes, yes! I don’t read a lot of fic lately. And no, I don’t read everything a writer friend writes just because they wrote it, it may just not be to my liking and I think that’s fine. Many writers I know and like don’t read my stuff, that’s totally normal. 

[snarkwrites]

ssw | pietro maximoff; you make my heart beat faster. [ suggestive ]

Notes:

Okay, so.. This is kind of a follow up to the one shot I wrote a few months ago, happy birthday. So this picks up the next day. Idk where this idea came from or if it even makes sense when read immediately after that one, but ah well. My brain kept nagging at me to write the thing so I wrote the thing.

[ happy birthday ] for those who haven't read it already.

The translation: ty chuvstvuyesh', chto delayesh' so mnoy, kotenok = "do you feel what you're doing to me, kitten?" loosely via Google translate.

Prompts:

taken from either [ HERE ] or [ HERE ] give or take. It could be one or the other or a mix of both at my own choosing.

the daydream of him inside you // seeing the bulge in his pants // you make my heart beat faster. - those were all the prompts / inspiration used to write this.

Fandom / Character:

MCU / Pietro Maximoff x Barton!OFC, Nicola.

Other Writing Nicola / Pietro can be found in:

[ happy birthday ] + several other oooold posts way back on the blog I think. I wanna write a fic for them one day. We shall see, though.

Warnings:

[ NSFW. Absolutely no minors.] If you're underage, this was not written for you -nor should you be reading it. If you choose to keep reading, this is strictly a you problem. I can't do anything about it. I warned you.

Things you need to be warned about before reading: implied sexual encounter.

Yes. I realize that I don't go full into writing out the scene. But there's enough here that anyone underage has zero business reading it. So, I'm warning you guys now.

Tagging:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@kyleoreillysknee

@micolegg

@mrsstevenbuchananstark

Other Stuff:

[ ABOUT MY WRITING | TAG LIST DOC - IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED, THAT IS. ]

“Are you feeling okay? You’ve barely touched your food, Nicola.”

My mom’s concerned question cut through my thoughts and I made myself smile, nodding. Taking a bite as I replied through a mouthful, “I’m fine. Was just thinking. That’s all.”

“About?” my mom eyed me expectantly. Hints of an amused smile played at her lips. I hesitated for a moment. If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost swear that somehow she knew something was up.

,, would it be a stretch to think so? One, she is my mom and two, I’ve been acting skittish and just plain out of it all damn day...” the thought came and as quickly as it did, I shoved it down in the depths of my brain.

I shrugged. “ Nothing in particular.” I gave the vaguest answer I could come up with. If she had one tenth of a clue what I’d really been thinking about just now, I’m honestly not sure how she’d react to it.

I’d been replaying last night over and over again in my mind all day. Every single part of me was dying to ask Pietro if it meant anything or not but at the same time, every single part of me was also scared to death to do that very thing. The one or two times we’d been alone with each other today and I did try, the words got stuck in my throat. And he wasn’t behaving any differently than he normally did, so I kind of just… Let it go. Started to convince myself that making the two of us love the night before was just a one time thing. As my best friend Simone would put it, “Sometimes, you just need to scratch that itch.”

The whole problem with her theory is that even now, having scratched this particular itch.. I wanted to do it again. And again.

I wanted so much more than that too. The brief glimpse I’d gotten of Pietro beneath the sarcasm and the flirty swagger the night before completely did me in. I’d gone from trying hard to keep him at arms length to falling head over feet in love with him and knowing this drove me crazy.

I felt someone staring at me.

I looked up just as Pietro was looking down. Pouting to myself a little, I reached out to grab the spoon in the bowl of mashed potatoes to scoop another serving onto my plate. Pietro reached for the spoon at the same time and when our hands brushed, I felt this little jolt.

He moved his hand but not until he’d let it linger against mine for a second or two. His gaze not leaving mine for the entirety of it. Under the table, my thighs clenched tight. I could see his hands all over me again in my head. Feel his cock buried deep inside me.

I went from a little wet to full on soaked between the mental imagery and the brush of his hand against mine. My stomach coiled.

My body tensed a little.

I dropped my gaze first, busying myself with putting more potatoes on my plate. Pietro kept watching me.

My parents were talking at the head of the table as my mom fed Nathaniel some smushed peas and carrots... My little sister scarfed down her food and then shot out of her chair and out the backdoor to go play a game of tag with my brother in the backyard before it got to dark to play and they had to come inside.

I dared to glance up from shoveling food into my mouth and Pietro gave a teasing wink. Biting his lip as he openly fucked me with his eyes.

And there it went.. The lazy flip flop of my stomach. And no matter what I tried, I couldn’t tear my eyes out of the ocean blue depths of his.

I couldn’t take any more of the torture that was being around him and not having the courage to ask what I was dying to know so I stood and grabbed my plate as soon as I finished eating, making my way into the kitchen to put it in the sink.

I went ahead and washed it while I stood there. I was just drying the plate and about to put it away in the cabinet overhead when I felt Pietro’s muscular body press against me from behind. Wordlessly, he took the plate from my hand and sat it on the top of the stack inside. I turned to face him.

This put us body to body.

I swallowed hard. My mouth opened and closed and for about five or six seconds, I willed myself to say something. Do something.

But I couldn’t bring myself to. Because as much as I was dying to know whether last night was a one time thing or if there was really something between us… Parts of me were scared to death that if I asked, I wouldn’t like the answer.

And that kept me quiet.

Pietro’s hand raised. Reaching out. Brushing strands of hair out of my eyes. I barely restrained a whimper at the touch. His eyes flashed a brighter blue and his head tilted slightly as he stared down at me.

Lost in thought.

His hips pressed into mine harder. When I felt the bulge in his jeans, I took a few shaky breaths. His hand rested on my hip, squeezing. Digging the tips of his fingers into it. He leaned down slightly and his mouth grazed the shell of my ear as he asked, “ty chuvstvuyesh', chto ty delayesh' so mnoy, kotenok?” in a breathless whisper.

If I thought I was wet before, hearing him speak to me in his native tongue had me soaked. Absolutely flooded. The only word I could pick out of whatever he’d asked was kitten. And as usual, when he called me kitten, my heart fluttered just a little more in my chest. He rocked himself into me clumsily and I sucked in a breath.

“Pietro.” I muttered. I was right on the verge of asking him what he’d just said. And asking him about what the night before truly was, if he felt anything or if it just kinda… happened. But just as I thought I’d finally be able to get the words out, it’s like my brain froze up all over again. I frowned at myself in frustration and sighed, shaking my head. “Nothing. It’s silly.”

I heard my dad calling my name from the next room, so I stepped away from Pietro reluctantly and went to leave the kitchen. Pietro grabbed hold of my hips, holding me in place for a few seconds. Staring down at me.

“ I need to talk to you later, kotenok. Alone.”

All I could do was nod. Tell him that I was going to go up to my room in a few minutes.

He nodded.

I stepped away and walked into the next room, only barely managing to pull myself together enough to talk to my parents without either one of them seeming to be aware of just how flustered I truly was.

As soon as I got done talking to my dad, I made my way upstairs. Shutting the door to my room and leaning against it just to hopefully pull myself together.

I still couldn’t.

I flopped across my bed, picking up the Anatomy book and my notebook, preparing to start studying again for the final I had coming up soon and just as I settled into it, there were two knocks at my bedroom door.

I slipped off the bed, wandering over to the door. Opening it.

Pietro leaned in the doorway, gazing down at me. That hungry look in his eyes again.

I stepped out of the doorway and let him into my room, shutting the door behind me. When I turned around to face him, we were body to body. Leaning into me, he put a hand against the door, just above my head. I could feel him straining even harder against his jeans. His other hand raised, resting against the side of my face. Cradling my cheek as he closed the distance between our mouths.

I started out with my palm down. Determined to keep distance between us until I finally worked up the courage to ask my question, hear my dreaded answer and be done, but by the time his tongue slipped past my lips and started to trace my teeth, I was clutching at the front of his fitted black shirt instead. He nipped at my bottom lip, tugging until I felt it swelling under pressure. The kiss deepened until I got so lightheaded I thought I’d melt.

He seemed to sense this because he crushed me against him and the hand cupping my face drifted down. Skimming down my side. Stopping at my hip.

The kiss finally broke so we could breathe and we pulled apart; breathless. Staring at each other quietly. Wide-eyed.

“Kotenok…” he muttered softly. Fondly. His voice dying away as he stared down at me like he was lost in thought. Trying to say something.

“What’s up?” I mumbled, my stomach flipping and flopping lazily.

“Last night was..” he went quiet on me again and I tensed a little, bracing myself for him to continue. Preparing myself in the event that what he was about to say wasn’t what I longed to hear.

So it shocked me when he was closing the distance between our mouths all over again as he muttered in a lust-filled whisper, “Last night was more than just sex. You make me feel things that I haven’t before, kotenok.”

My breath caught in my throat and I didn’t realize it until I finally took a breath and it was shaky. I gazed up at him, letting his words sink in. Trying to wrap my head around it. I went to say something, to tell him that I felt the same way and I didn’t do what we’d done last night often, but he pressed the side of his finger against my lips, silencing me and continued to speak.

“You make my heart beat faster.” he took hold of the hand I had rested against his chest, placing it over his heart. I gasped quietly as I looked up at him again and saw the way he was looking back down at me, a look of pure and total adoration.

He looked nervous as hell. Fidgeting a little. Not quite sure what to do with his hands after he moved one off my hip and let go of my hand with the other. He went to step away, swearing under his breath and I realized that he wanted me to react somehow.

I pressed against him from behind. My hand wrapping around his where it lingered on the knob to my bedroom door. “Don’t go. Please?” I asked in a hushed whisper. Pietro turned around and when he did, I melted against him. Raising my arms to wrap them around his neck. Dragging my fingers through a thick mess of platinum blond. Tugging at it as I rose to tiptoe and crashed my mouth against his. Laughing softly when our noses bumped and our lips connected all over again; hungry. Desperate. Frenzied.

He reached down, twisting the lock on my door knob so that it was locked and no one could come in by accident. A low growl rose up from the depths of his chest, hanging in the air between us only to be swallowed by the kiss as our mouths reconnected and it deepened. I rubbed myself against him clumsily. Needy.

His hands locked across my ass and he slipped me up his body, stepping over to my bed. Dropping me against my mattress softly and positioning himself on top of me. Pressing his hips into mine. Bucking against me as his mouth strayed from my own, working it’s way down the side of my neck. His lips caught on my pulse, making me shiver and rock myself up into him as I gave a needy whine and raised my legs, squeezing his hips with my knees. The kiss broke and he muttered against my mouth with a teasing grin, “ Think you can be quiet for me, kotenok?”

“ I can try.” I whimpered as his mouth worked down the front of my throat, teeth scraping against skin. Stubble tickling me. Making me cling to him as he snapped his hips against me and his hands moved down between us, catching in the hem of my shirt. He pulled me up to a sitting position and pulled my shirt off, tossing it onto my bedroom floor. I tugged at his shirt, whining impatiently and he chuckled. Nipping softly at my bottom lip as he teased, “Patience.”

“Pietro.” I pleaded.

He tugged his shirt over his head, letting it settle on the floor near mine. And then he was leaning in. His hands moving up my sides. Stopping to squeeze my breasts, growling to himself quietly before reaching around. Hooking a thick digit beneath the band of my bra and working the clasps free. He pulled it off, balling it up and tossing it on the floor with the rest of our clothes as he leaned into me even more, my back pressed flat against my bed all over again. He positioned himself on top of me, his body spreading my legs wide and as his head dipped down, my fingers curled in my blanket and thick blond hair.

His mouth worked across my collarbones. Then lower. He squeezed my tits together, mouth diving down. Latching onto one of my nipples. Tongue circling lazily until he’d teased it to a point and I was squirming beneath him, rocking my hips, desperate for any kind of friction I could get. My fingers caught in the waistband of his jeans and I worked the button and the zipper free. He pulled away and slipped off the bed to shed his jeans and underwear and eyed me hungrily. Leaning down. Meeting my gaze with a mischief filled smirk as he took off my pants. Holding my gaze the entire time.

I kicked my pants free at the ankle and he was on top of me again. The tip of his thick cock brushing right against my fabric covered crotch as he bucked into me and muttered against my mouth, “Are you ready for me, kotenok?”

“Please?” I begged breathlessly, barely managing to keep my voice a whisper as I did so. When he smirked at me as if he were pleased with himself, I realized exactly what his goal was.

He wanted to see just how close he could get me to getting loud.

I pouted up at him and he chuckled. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re being a tease. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“Oh?” he muttered, his hand disappearing between us. Slipping into my panties. Fingers working me open. Burying deep in my throbbing, wet sex. I arched my back and gasped, my fingers tangling in his hair, tugging at it as I rocked against his hand.

It wasn’t enough. I wanted him buried to the hilt inside of me. Now.

But Pietro was in a teasing mood tonight. Something told me that the more I begged, the more he was going to prolong it. And if I didn’t beg? He’d prolong it.

I was absolutely fucked.

One way or another, he was going to have me screaming his name by the end of the night.

[indimlights]

✨Merry christmas Cille✨

To: @birthdaysentiment 💛

-> From: @indimlights (Rodrigo)

Hi Cille! I guess it's up to me to kick off this "little" surprise but I don't even know where to start...

I remember really well the first time I saw a post of yours, I was still lurking back then and the moment I read it I felt so many things, things I don't know how to describe and that I never thought words could make me feel and I knew, I just knew that I had to see more. Fast-forward a couple of hours I knew your blog by heart, I had looked at so many of your posts and every single one was as amazing as the first one, as touching as the first one and as deep as the first one.

The meaning you put on words still gets to me every single day, you have such a way into them and don't even get me started on your music analysis. The moment I read the first one I was mind-blown! The things you catch, the connections you make between the music and the scene, the way you describe the scenes, it makes me go back, relive the moment and feel everything I felt the first time I watched it and all this just by... reading your words! If that doesn't tell me how amazing you are with them I don't know what will.

From that day I always wished I could talk to you, get to know the person behind the words, behind the masterpieces, behind the blog because you seemed like such a sweet person and now... After some time, I got that chance and I'm so happy I got it. You are everything I thought you would be and 1000x more, you are sweet, caring, smart, loving, wise, joyful and so supportive to me and to everyone in this community! You always spread love and that's so important and so nice of you to do, the way you write essays in the tags for everyone's posts just shows that! It's such a simple thing but means so much.

And I'm not even mentioning how talented you are with non-written posts because those are on another level aswell, I mean you always surprise me with your ideas and creativity and just knowing that whenever I come here I will have some sort of attack waiting for me just keeps me going and I love everything you do so much.

I'll never be able to thank you enough for being so welcoming when I barely knew anyone and for making me feel so much more comfortable here! Getting to know you better and to share this experience with someone like you has been a blessing and I wouldn't change any second of it, thank you for everything you have done and for always being so sweet to me. I don't understand what I did to deserve all that but that just shows again how wonderful you are.

I'm wishing you a merry christmas! Surrounded by everyone you love and that makes you happy because you deserve that and so much more, please never change, never stop being like this, a special and wonderful person. I hope you enjoy this surprise :) Have a wonderful day Cille 💛

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @remy3010 (Remy)

Hihi Cille❤ I love your blog so much especially music analysis! I just fall in love with your music analysis since your first posts.

For me whose mother tongue is not English, it takes a while to read but I'd love to. Because these articles deserve more people to see (including me)！

I have read every article of yours, the content touches me all the time. (Sometimes I have a lot of words want to tell you, But I don’t know how to speak in English..sorry🥺so I give❤ and reblog)

Anyway, thank you for writing beautiful words and sharing with us! I hope you can keep this passion forever, and everything go well. May you have wonderful days my friend ❤

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @franboos (Francine)

hi bb cille,

wanted to tell u that i love u blog and the time u put into analyzing stuff is shhshdhdhdhd. queen shit. u seen so genuine to talk to idk, i get those nice, non judgmental, relaxed and cool vibes from u. lmao. pls stay on tumblr for as long as u can cuz i love ur posts. u notice such little things in clips from wtfock, like u have a very detailed eye miss hehe. i really want to get to know u more cuz i really think we could vibe v well together, and that’s on perioood 😌. i hope u have a great great day while reading this queen. never stop what you’re doing cuz ur great at it. i love you !!

many kusjes and knuffels*,

fran

(*knuffels means hugs but also stuffed animal in dutch, did u know that? otherwise now u do, nice isn’t it)

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @dagcutie (Pauline)

hey hey cille!!

I must admit i’m very much a fan of you and your blog

first of all, your posts? chefs kiss!! i mean your music analysis are amazing and so on point, your photo edits are always perfect and the colorings are so beautiful, your long text posts 'drabble/headcanon style' are so cute and always makes me so soft and emotional...

your love for black and white? that’s a big yes!! anyways everything you do is perfect!!

also can we take a moment to appreciate your person? i think we can and we must do it..

you’re always so supportive and kind, all the nice tags you let under peoples creations are so sweet!! I also could cry about how cute you are always leaving lovely messages to people inbox or coming randomly to them to say something nice.. you’re the most beautiful soul and a blessing for this fandom!! please never stop being you!! ily a lot, sending you all my love and i wish you an amazing day<3

knus og kys til dig💛✨

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @allee-sander (Tanya)

Cille, you are an amazing person. you are so kind and loving. every time i see you on my dash, my face lights up. you are a literal angel. you are loved and appreciated, never forget that.

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @tsjernobyl (Emma)

Cille, you are a genuinely kind and loving soul who's just on this site to talk about the things you love and spread a little joy and everyone can tell that the moment they go onto your blog. i've seen you be nothing but lovely to everyone you interact with and it's a real honor to be mutuals with you and interact from time to time. You are always one of the sweetest and most supportive people here, and i hope you feel that love flowing back to you at all times because you always have my warmest wishes and love!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @dreamaur (Ann)

How does it feel to be so cool and sweet and supportive??? I love you and your mind and how you see so many details and capture them so well with words,,,queen keep going with your top tier analysis and text posts that make me emotional everything single time

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @annonymannonym (Alice)

Where do I even begin ummm ... well words may not be enough to describe such angelic human being that Cille is but today is about her *about you Cille* !♡! Honestly I’m so so happy and honoured and so grateful to have meet and know you and come along your blog and your amazing posts and edits , let’s s not forget about the masterpiece that your analysis is cuz I live for every single one of them ! Always so on point and touchy and so so emotionally, they give you a whole new perspective and point of view and helps you connect with the person that goes throught those feelings , helping you understand so much deeper the feelings and the emotions he experience in that right moment( so thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking your time and writing these it really shows how much passion and love you put on making these! they absolute helped me to understand and feel much more the meaning behind all these little moments you captured so so well and wonderful ! ) You’re always such a blessing here so lovely friendly so goodhearted and sooo on ... < insert here all the good compliments in the world > cuz they all applies to you ! Know that you’re so special and such a light a sunshine wherever you are and go , you always spread so much positivity and good energy and love and compassion and you support every single people your way comes along with and you shown so much respect and love and understanding ! Always with a wise and thoughtful mind and with the right words at you using them with so much care and mining fullness ! And your blog i love love love it the b&w aesthetic and your love for it owns my heart !! I adore your posts so much ( or ramblings or thoughts as you may call them but know they are so so much more than that its a way of yours to express yourself and open up and pour every feeling you experience and many people found themselves and feel with you , I find myself in them and resonate with them every time ! ahh and your tags that you write in every post are sooo sweet and cute i could read them all day long just coming on your blog and read them makes my day so much better ) they are such a good way to brighten your day and they put a smile on my face whenever i see you on my dash truly a blessing to have you here! Never forget how unique and special human being you are and every one who has you in their lives are very blessed to have you ! Never change being this beautiful inside and out but most importantly inside ! literally a tresure your soul is and must be protected at all cost so take very good care of it ! Don’t forget to always do what makes you happy and gives joy and peace and just you know that good feeling you have in your chest and heart whenever you do something you love and like with passion and joy. I could say so much more but maybe I’ll repeat myself cuz there are never enough compliments to say about how wonderful person you are! you deserve every single one of them ! I really meant every word i said from the bottom of my heart and know that i really apreciate and love all you do and I’ll be here to support you anytime! You deserve the absolute world and more!! love you Cille! ♡ Okey bye✿

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @robbesdriesen (Bianca)

Cille ~ such a lovely presence to see on my dash always!! Your support towards everyone in the fandom is more than appreciated and so is your love that you continuously aim to spread <3

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @happilyinsane (Dharaa)

Hey Cille 💕

Just wanted to say that I think you are really sweet and lovely. I see you everywhere on the tumblr. Wanna thank you for keeping this fandom alive during the drought and keep us entertained. I see your tags on people's posts and I always feel like you are so kind and sweet to spend your time appreciating people's work. Doesn't matter if its a photo or an edit or whatever. You are so nice to pay attention to everyone individually. You are such a good friend/mutual, always appreciating and sliding into their asks and just making their day a lil bit better. You definitely bring so many smiles on our faces. I am sure everyone is very thankful to have you in this fandom, I know I am.

I know we haven't interacted that much but thank you for sliding into my asks and giving me an opportunity to interact with you. You are the sweetest, baby. And I hope you like this whole thing that Rodrigo is doing, because you definitely deserve it. Keep lighting up our dashes with your posts, pls. Ilysm 💕

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @alwaysaneverland (Sarah)

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @theflowerisblue (Lola)

Cille! You’re such a present part of the tag! You’re always interacting and posting and I love reading what you have to say. Your music analysis are so interesting and I also think you’re really funny! I love your black and white aesthetic and most of all I love how supportive and positive you’re towards everyone!

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @fvae (Fae)

hi cille!! I'm really glad to have met you through this fandom and I hope you like the surprise!! I loved to read your song analysis because they're always on point and well thought of👌 💯  and your edits!! *chef's kiss*

sending you lots of love and hugs 💕💖💫

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @embeddedinmybrain (Tasfia)

Hi Cille! You are just a ray of sunshine!! And you are the sweetest and kindest person here. I loved following through with your wtfock music analysis posts bc everything you felt is exactly what I felt. They made me really emotional!! And of course I (and Sarah and Fae) appreciate your tags for moyo season so much. We wait for them and we read them to each other and we just love seeing your reactions to it. Your edits are incredibly amazing too and I love the colouring in them. You are just an amazing sweetheart and I’m so glad to know you 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @veerledejaegers (Soph)

Cille, you are very friendly and sweet, always insightful and seem like an incredibly lovely person that i hope i can get to know better ❤️(also love the black and white aesthetic)

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @sanderxrobbee (Semri)

Cilleeeeeeeeeeee loml!!!! Merry Christmas to you! I genuinely wish you all the best and I hope you get to spend all the holidays in the best way possible! You’re such a blessing to this fandom because you’re talented in every single way, whether it’s your writing or your godly Photoshop skills, oh and let’s not forget your dedication because you’re there all the time to brighten our days and make us smile. I haven’t known you for long, but I truly love and appreciate all you do and I’m grateful that you always take the time to compliment everything and everyone. You have no idea how much it makes me smile when you say my gifs are good because I’ve yet to learn a lot, but you are seriously one of the biggest reasons I haven’t given up the second something got too complicated. Where am I going with this? No idea. Anyway, I adore the fuck out of you and I’m happy to take part in this “project” because you really deserve all the love in the world. Once again, happy holidays!

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @hopelessromanticvirgo (Elene)

Talking about you Cille is making me always so emotional but I will try my best not to burst out from love and emotions. You’re one of the sweetest person here and I will never get tired of saying that.

We haven’t talked that much directly but I don’t need that to know you’re one of the greatest person here, I just know that for sure. I’m also sure about it because I can see the way you treat people? Even speaking about your tags? Like you take the time out of your day to make sure everybody gets love and everybody gets attention. You make all of us smile and I adore your tags on my stories. You can’t even imagine how many times I have reread your posts about it, like I crave it, I’m in love with it, it makes me feel so happy and so loved and I’m certain that everybody else feels the same way too. You always know how to make everybody’s day better and how to make them feel special.

And please, don’t even get me started on your posts! Your song analysis. Like I know I’ve told you this thousands of times before but I don’t care, I’m saying it again! The way you pictured and described all those songs and scenes!!! Like wow! I’d always reread your posts about that one specific scene after rewatching the season countless of times. (And you also did so many scenes!! I’m in awe and I’m emo from just thinking about it)

Watching clips were different but reading them with lyrics were a whole other thing. I just felt so connected with the whole story and scenes when I’d ready your posts. And connect scenes with the music and it was the best thing ever. Sometimes I still go back and reread some of my favorite posts of yours. I never get tired of it.

And you’re so kind and so sweet that I could write essays about it! Such a blessing to this world! I just love you a lot okay? Everybody needs somebody like you, somebody who shines from kindness and love and people around you must be so lucky who get to meet you everyday and talk to you!

Thank you so much for everything you do, for being you and for making my day better and making me smile every time you reblog my posts or every time I just see your username on my dashboard! It’s such a small gesture but means so much!

Thank you for existing, babe! I hope you’re gonna have a wonderful day! And I’m sending you the biggest hug and my positive vibes! I hope a smile never leaves your face! And I only wish the best things up onto you! I love you! ❤️❤️❤️

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @itubainaretro (Esther)

Cille, my queen!!! Hi, sweetheart! Just dropping by to say that I hope you’re having a good day, despite the situation that the world is in, and that you’re feeling happy, loved, cherished and warm today, because you’re you and you deserve to feel all the best feelings in the world! I wish you all the happiness in the world and that all your wishes come true too, because you sure deserve it! Thank you for being this amazing, inspiring, talented and sweet person that you are and that I’ve come to know a little bit in the past few months! I know we don’t exactly talk that much, but I want you to know that I love seeing you, your beautiful edits and your extremely heart warming “moments that live in my head rent free” posts on my dash daily! They all really make my days! Thank you for sharing your posts with us and making this fandom (and the world, honestly) a better place! You’re amazing and I’m really glad I pressed the follow button the day I did when I started following you! I hope this little message makes you smile today, babe! Best wishes and lots and lots of love,

Esther (itubainaretro) ♥️

PS: don’t forget to hydrate yourself, wear a mask and stay safe haha xxxx.

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @driesendotkom (Marie)

Dear cille,

the reason i‘m writing this is to simply say thank you. thank you for being such a stable part of the fandom. every time i go into the tag i know i will see you there and it makes me smile every time. i can’t tell you how many hours i spent reading every one of your song analysis. even now a year after season 3 ended i find myself going back to them now and then to reminisce and relive those moments all over again.

i also want to say thank you for being such a kind and welcoming person. you care so much about the people you are close to. you are so easy to talk to and you make the people around you feel comfortable instantly. you brought a little bit of hygge into my life and one more time i want to say thank you 💛

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @driesenrobbe (Becca)

my dear, sweet, cille! you never fail to make me smile and im beyond happy that we became mutuals! im sure i’ve already said this a million times before but you really do have the biggest heart and i couldn’t thank you enough for all the love and support you constantly share to everybody in the wtfock fandom. plus the talent you possess... girllllll i love seeing your edits and reading your posts (honestly your mind is just wowowowow, it’s on a whole other level of incredible and i hope you know just how wonderful you are). also the way you always write entire essays in the tags of other posts... like you really do take the time to make everyone feel so welcomed and loved, and I’m sending you an infinite amount of love and appreciation in return! you really are the sweetest, most caring person who deserves all the happiness in the world, an actual ray of sunshine! i hope you know how loved and cherished you are, and that good vibes are always being sent your way. Many hugs and kusjes, ilysm!!!! <3

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @mijnlief (Eline)

Dear Cille,

This year has been a weird one, but I do know that it has also been one of the best because of meeting you. In such a short time we became so close, and I am so grateful to have met you during these weird times. We are so alike in many ways and I love that so much. Our Skype conversations are my favorite and the essays you send me about my writing and just about me being me always make me feel happy and loved. You are the kindest and most generous person ever. I hope you know how special you are. I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved this year and for choosing yourself in situations where it got hard to make a choice in the first place. I know I tell you that everyday, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again right here. I hope this post makes you smile, because you deserve that so much for just being who you are. You bring happiness to all of my days and I can’t wait to hug you one day soon when everything in the world calms down again. I love you lots! 🧡 Eline

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @onzeziggy (Laurien)

My sweetest Cille, where do I even begin? I suggest we should just begin from the very beginning and I’m sorry in advance if this is going to be a long, sappy text! But now that I have the chance (shout out to Rodrigo) for saying everything I want, I’m not able to tell you how long this will take.

So Cille, I still remember very clearly the first time I saw your account appearing on my dash. It was a music analysis from one of the songs from season 3. I was so amazed by it, because I could imagine how much time it takes to make it and observe every little detail in a single clip. I immediately fell in love with the concept of it and one week later, when you posted another one, my mouth dropped to the floor. Another music analysis? From the same person? Who is she and how do I become her friend? After that second post, I immediately started following you and became your little fangirl. I don’t lie when I say I was waiting every week for a new update of your incredible music analysis nor when I say I loved every single one of them (and still do). I know I already said this a million times, but your words of telling what was going on in every clip, about the emotions present in them, and how the music blended all of it together… No one, and I mean no one could have done it any better! I will forever be grateful for those posts and I want to thank you once again for wanting to share them and your talent with us!

After the music analysis adventure, your picture edits catched my eye. I love them so so much and I also took some creation of it for making some myself. Still, I was this little fangirl, knowing your name is Cille, but also wanting to know so much more about the person behind one of my favorite blogs. And now, during this hiatus, I can say I’ve got to know you and I couldn’t be any happier about it! Starting with little comments in each other’s tags, having little chats in the comment sections to screaming about a possible drawing of Robbe from Sander on their one year anniversary. And look at us now, reblogging almost every post and writing essays in each other’s tags hahah! Honestly, it keeps me alive during these times and I’m so glad I can do this together with you! I live for your attacks! Aaaah now that I’m talking about an attack, the fact that you have a dimples post ready is making me so excited and I think about it every day! We both know what’s important in love and life and that’s Robbe’s dimples! But this right here shows once again what an amazing sweet person you are! No one on here has ever done anything like this for me before, so I can’t thank you enough for this and all the other things you did and still do for me! And the privilege I have to be able to call you my friend warms my heart <33

I’m going to end this with a little quote Robbe wrote in one of his Instagram posts. When I read it again a couple of days ago, I immediately thought of you and what we’ve been through together the last few weeks :’)) Once again, thank you so much for everything you do for me and for everyone here in this fandom and being the amazing person you are! You deserve the whole world for it!

“Sometimes it’s like we just met yesterday, but other days it seems like I already know you my whole life, I love you Cille!” <33

--------------------------------------------------

I hope you enjoyed this💛 If you didn't know this community loved you yet (and I don't think that was possible), now you definetly do.

Extra: I'd like to thank once again everyone that took part it this surprise, you are all the sweetest for taking some time to write this and to help me with it! Thank you so so much✨

[askomori]

I would like to say that it's very interesting to hear your interpretations of the characters. Everyone interprets them slightly differently and it's refreshing to see a more realistic take compared to people who sugar coat things a lot. Although I understand those people a bit cause I do see things in a slightly more... optimistic? Lense than you (for my own peace of mind), however I still agree that things are NOT as sweet as a lot of the fandom acts like it is and NOT everything is okay or will ever be. Saying that would just be wrong. I am guessing from your posts that you hate the Sunny X Basil shippers... I think it's definitely unhealthy and I personally dislike Basil and think him and Sunny are not really that good for each other at all, but I can also see the other side and how some would find it cute. (Although this game isn't really the... best base material for shipping, and this is coming from a big ol ship enthusiast. It just doesn't feel right with the themes and stuff). I just enjoy seeing everyone's varying takes on all the characters of this wonderful and deep game! There really is so much to think about and I just think your thoughts are really interesting in particular... I don't know where I'm going with this message, but yeah I think your blog is cool and also your shitposts are very neat and canon imo lmao

i am an optimist, but i never got anywhere by /ignoring/ the negatives like much of the fandom does. i’m actually reading a book on stoicism called “the obstacle is the way”. to sum it up in a sentence, its sentiment is basically “thrive not only in spite of hardships, but because of them”. 

in sunny’s case, his repression of bad memories to try to cope doesn’t get him anywhere, and leads to some bad endings. his avoidance prevented him from moving forward. i feel like a lot of people missed very important parts of his character...

i think the main problem is lots of people who get into fandoms are used to more shallow media, so when they stumble upon a game like this, they totally miss the things that make it what it is. it’s honestly a shame and it makes me so so frustrated ahaha.

i would be fine with people shipping basil and sunny in a more in character way, but in character would be very unhealthy, and people very much hate any ship that isnt fluffy and cute (think they’d call it “problematic” to even explore what their relationship would look like). my friend said hanahaki disease would fit basil’s feelings towards sunny, i thought that was really cool and fitting what with his flowers. 

and how they used to be bffs... ahhh the angst... imagine how much basil hates himself. i want people to actually dig into sunny and basil’s feelings towards each other because theres a lot there and literally none of it is “uwu smol gays“. i also think the fixation on making everything gay is highly uncomfortable i won’t get into it though. but it does play a big part in why people ship it, so it’s worth mentioning.

well anyways, thank you for the kind message ^___^ im really glad people enjoy my shitposts and insane ramblings 

[angiethewitch]

god stop whining about weight loss stuff. just lose some weight fatty. stop being a little piggy

I know I said I don't answer hate mail but I have something to say about this.

trigger warning.

see, this is what society does. I read somewhere "society says no to anorexia, but yes to anorexic bodies". and when you think about it, its true. as shown by the diet ads very clearly advertising disordered eating. they're not just advertising diets, they're advertising harm. a little while back I also wrote a post about how companies are capitalising on peoples worries (specifically womens worries) about their weight during quarantine. on that post I got people saying its because I'm fat, I need to exercise, etc.

society says yes to skinny, but no thank you to eating disorders. why is that? because disorders aren't sexy. you can't sexualise an eating disorder. society says they love girls who eat, but oh wait only if they're skinny. and if you're not thin, its open season. people suggest diets and workouts and doctors treat you differently. if you're not thin, you aren't a person anymore, you become your weight.

and so when a woman talks about this, about diet culture, about the immense pressures women face to be tiny, peoples immediate reaction is to insult that woman. skinny girls never talk about it, they think. if a woman is angry about how society treats her like a doll, she's fat, she's ugly, there HAS to be something wrong with her.

(I know men face pressures too, but its not the same, because a womans entire worth is put down to her looks, whereas men are allowed to exist naturally. i know they face pressures but please don't derail this)

a woman talks about the pressures she faces as a woman in this world and your first reaction is to tell her to shut up and lose some weight. if you know me and my blog, anon, you'd know im still in recovery from an eating disorder that robbed me of my health for many years. but that doesn't matter. now I've told you this, I'm sure you have a picture of a frail girl in your mind, and you'll feel bad. People often do when i mention it. you know why? because again, you're saying yes to an anorexic body. but it doesn't matter. if I was 200 stone, it still wouldn't make it okay for you to say this to me. because, again, if a woman is too loud about the issues she faces, she's fat, she's undesirable, she should shut up and stop eating. when a skinny woman talks about feminism, people applaud her. when a fat woman talks about feminism, it's just because she can't get laid. its because she's ugly. its because, because, because...

when I talk about these things, and it makes you so angry that you feel the need to go onto my blog, press the anonymous button, and insult me, I suggest you look inside. why do you respond in that way? why is your instinct to tell a woman to shut up? what internalised misogyny do you need to address, or externalised misogyny? I also want you to think about what it is that upsets you about fat women. we all have it. in fact, its one of our evolutionary advantages. generally, women do better in famine, because our fat stores take longer to burn through. historically, women have always done better during times of food shortage. so ladies, love your fat. love your cellulite. it keeps you alive.

consider these points, anon. I sincerely suggest you dig deep and understand why you react this way to women talking about how frustrated they are with these things.

I do hope you find a satisfactory conclusion, and I hope you can work towards being less hateful.

[retvenkos]

It got deleted! Fire for the Marauders, Sherlock and SW (any era), guy preference, I'm a girl! I usually hate talking about myself and would rarely share but I'm kind and caring to people. Slytherin and proud. Bookworm who also likes movies. Hate chaos above all, I always have some kind of a schedule in my head. I analyze every detail and am a bit shy, I like being alone but don't mind people. Truly inexperienced in the romantic stuff. INTJ. A bit shy but would making jokes and sarcastic comment

Marauder Era:

I ship you with Remus Lupin!

Alright so you and Remus are the responsible friends of the group, actively bringing down the chaos levels (which, without you, would be insufferable). Together, the two of you bring some semblance of order to the Marauders lives, and trust me, it's much appreciated.

I have no doubt that the two of you met thanks to the bumbling idiot that is James Potter - you and James were paired together for a class in your first year, let's say astronomy, and he gets so behind in the class that the teacher has YOU get him back on track - something about a peer influence. Anyway, you march up to Gryffindor tower to find James and maybe,,,, I don't know,,,, get him to do his homework,,,, and he's hanging outside the portrait hole, making jokes with his friends. You try your best to be reasonable, and your just shy enough to not be rude or anything, but James and Sirius were infuriating first years and they didn't listen to you at all.

When you leave, defeated, Remus runs up after you and tells you he'll try to get James to do his Astronomy homework. You say thanks, and two weeks later, James seems to have taken whatever the brown haired boy said to heart, because he's doing his homework consistently. You decide it's high time you thank this guy for his service, and you start to write him a thank you letter (much less embarrassing than a verbal apology - this way you can't stutter over your words or anything) when you realize you don't know his name. Damn. So now you have to thank him in person, and you approach him before potions. You thank him and he's sheepish and humble about it. Then, before you leave, you make sure to ask him for his name - just in case. Remus Lupin. You tell him yours and that's the end of that.

You see him through the halls in your second and third years, and it isn't until your fourth year that the two of you have reason to speak to each other. You have Potions together, and your partners. For a whole two to three weeks the two of you are pleasant to each other but don't really talk much. Neither of you are great at starting conversations, and it isn't until you see James and Peter pull a very obvious prank on a Slytherin, and Remus cover for them that you actually have something to say to him. "You clearly just lied to the professor." "Me?" And you scoff, but all Remus says is "He doesn't know that, though. Will you keep my secret?" "Sure. Consider it part of my thanks for first year." And you don't think Remus would remember but he does.

After that, the two of you end up talking more, and your crush on the quiet, mischievous gryffindor grows. One time, you hear him arguing with Sirius, defending you, specifically, saying that not ALL slytherins are evil - you certainly aren't.

It's by fifth year that your crush is full blown, and when you have dada with the Gryffindors, you get a little sidetracked by Remus, and when a good friend of yours notices, they tease you mercilessly.

Meanwhile, the marauders are teasing Remus, because he too has a crush on you - one that makes him blush terrible and renders him tongue tied when you're nearby

One day you're walking to the quidditch pitch for the game, and your friend is teasing you terribly about your crush on Remus. You're digging your head into your scarf to hopefully hide your blush, when you run right into Remus. Your friend is quick to fall silent, but you're sure it's a little too late for that. He's no doubt heard.

But.... it's not? Or at the very least, Remus doesn't mention it, just apologizes with a bashful blush and keeps going.

Little do you know, Remus definitely heard it, and now Peter and Sirius are exasperated asking him why he didn't say anything when it was the perfect opportunity. He says it wasn't the right time! You were already thoroughly embarrassed. But now that he knows you like him back.... well, it bodes well for his confidence, which needs all the help it can get.

He approaches you one day in the library, days before the end of school. You're sitting at a table in the corner, actually relaxing for once, a favorite novel in front of you, and Remus hesitantly slides in across from you. For a long while, the two of you just read your own books, until you finish a chapter and look up at Remus. You say you have something for him - a letter, since school is ending soon. You start rambling about how you're going on a trip and it would be fun to write to eachother since you both appreciate history and you'll be going to a few museums and Remus smiles gently and says he'd love to write to you.

You smile, and Remus starts to tell you that he has the biggest crush on you, but he can't being himself to do it, so he talks about his summer plans, too.

When he gets back up to gryffindor tower he's kicking himself because he didn't tell you how he feels, but then he remembers your letter, and he decides to open it.

And in the letter, you tell him how you're almost certain that he heard your friends teasing that day before the quidditch match, when you bumped into him, but in case he didn't (or didn't believe it) you wanted to put the record straight - you like him, and you're terrible with words, so putting it in a letter is the best way you know how to tell him and not completely embarrass yourself.

And Remus runs back to the library to tell you that he got your letter and that he likes you - really likes you - back.

And hell yeah you write letters to eachother over the summer it's vvv sweet.

ANYWAY, you and Remus are a perfect match for each other I'm in love with the idea.

Sherlock:

I ship you with John Waston!

Okay, so both of you have such similar temperaments, I can really see the two of you working out.

You're both introverted, sarcastic, incredibly caring, detail oriented, and bookworms. While John isn't as scheduled as you are (how can you be with a friend like Sherlock Holmes?), he definitely sees the importance in routines and likes doing things in more practical and sensible ways.

Both of you are naturally curious, fairly versatile, and very determined, which makes for a good relationship since your traits and values match up.

I think that John would love the steadiness you being to his life - you are predictable and calm, and you're also independent and able to take care of yourself. John had a lot to worry about on the daily, so the fact that you are reliable is good for him. It allows for a lot of peace of mind.

John would be the one to bring you more in touch with your emotional side - he's a very emotional person, and also very mature. He would bring in a lot of interesting elements to the relationship - simultaneously bringing you out of your comfort zone while also validating your limits and respecting them. You would be an interesting couple to watch.

I love the idea of the two of your writing together for his blog - or you acting as a beta reader and helping him come up with names for each case. The two of you like to sneak in witty jokes and one of your favorite pastimes is seeing how many nonsensical things about Sherlock you can include.

Also! I imagine that your rational though process and your attention to detail is helpful in cases, sometimes, since Sherloxk can get so caught up in the moment and disregard certain elements that might have come in handy. Otherwise, you're great at remembering little things to put in the blog, which makes Sherlock smile.

And may I suggest..... watching movies with John Watson. For once, he is glad he doesn't have Sherlock talking in his ear, going on about the inaccuracies or about how ridiculous it all is. BUT, he finds himself telling you some of the things that Sherlock would say, and the two of you talk through the movie, chatting about what tropes you think are washed up, and what dynamics you love to death.

When you read, though, it's a different story and the two of you are quiet. John will make you a tea or coffee and you spend the day on the couch, just reading and enjoying the other's presence.

Star Wars:

I ship you with Commander Cody!

Alright, but we support clones on this blog, and commander Cody is one of the best clones.

First of all, both of you are very similar. Both of you are smart, determined, thoughtful and versatile people who would work well in sync with one another. You're not the most trusting of people, but one your loyalty is earned, it's earned for life and you would lay down your life for the other. You are both strong willed people, and yet you also carry a deep tenderness to you.

Cody absolutely loves how well read you are - he loves to listen to your stories (especially if they have a good, soft ending) and he loves the way you look at books - the little details you remember, the ideas that you hold onto. It's a great escape for him, listening to you talk about the novels you've read or listening to you read aloud. This world goes so fast and there's so much evil that he sees, so to hear something good - something slow that progresses to a happy ending - means the world to him. It's a little bit of softness he allows himself.

He also loves your shyness. He thinks it's cute, how someone so smart and strong - someone who by all means should have a healthy amount of confidence - is quiet and mostly goes under the radar. It's also a nice compliment to his more commanding presence.

You are both just humble enough to have great respect while also being just outgoing enough when you're in the right setting, and it's perfect. There's never confusion between the two of you over why you're more quiet in some places or more extroverted in others. You just understand the other.

You are also just so caring of others - Cody cared for his brothers more than anything in the world, and to find someone just as caring is good for him. He loves with his whole heart, and he's glad you do, too.

Oh, and the two of you together? The most sarcastic - the galaxy was unprepared for your combined energies, and it's been unstable ever since.

I also can't get enough of you together in the field - maybe you're a Jedi or a recruit pilot or something, but the two of you fighting together is peak. You're both smart and practical in your approach to things, and you're also very determined and ambitious - you would always have each others backs and you approach problems in the same way, so you work efficiently as well.

But, then again, the quiet moments the two of you share are pretty sweet - you force Cody into watching movies with you, and he actually gets really into them. He loves sci fi and fantasy, and he probably really likes silent films or foreign films too. Idk why, I just get the vibes.

Oh! And if you ever want a good laugh, ask Cody about the shenanigans that Obi-Wan pulls througho it the day. He gets so exasperated by all the little things that the Jedi pulls, and listening to him rant about them is very funny.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hi! Was just reading your posts and all the harassment you had to endure from the hq!! fandom. I'm so sorry they would treat you like that, & I wish people would just respect other people's views. Just a quick question, plz don't take it badly, but, did you really NOT see anything at all btwn oikawa & iwaizumi? as someone who ALSO ONLY watched s1 and s2 first before delving into the manga, I fell in love with them, so did i misread them? also, did you by chance, read any of their fanfics??

Hi, I won’t take it badly haha. I can really gif every of their scene of them (which won’t be long xD) frame by frame, I legit was watching very attentively, and you know me, writing characters analysis is what I picked to do for a living, and chose to study in university cause I just always loved to argue about it in different kind of literature (and cinematography and anime too). So I love me some great deep characters and interesting relationships. And I always dig deep.

So I have actually a question.. did you by any chance read the fics before you watched it? (it just feels like it). Cause if so, I think you’re seeing not Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but other fictional characters, cause Idk about manga (though I’ve heard there’s nothing between them there too) there’s not enough info about them (actually there is no info about them at all) to write them the way they are. It’s probably OOC. It happens a lot in many fandoms, when they create something that’s not even there and people simply follow, cause the fandom is popular and many just need to ship something, so they create a ship, which sometimes literally has nothing to do with the actual thing.

I myself just don’t need it actually, cause ships I ship already has everything they need in the canon. And I mean, romantic love related stuff, Mika already confessed his love to Yuu before “dying”, Rin and Haru confessed I feel like 20 times already, Akashi confessed that he can’t imagine his life without Kuroko, Gareki confessed that his heart feels incredibly warm when he thinks of Nai and he can’t sleep without Nai’s plushy copy, they join couples contests, love touching each other, their heart decribed as “going doki-doki” when they’re together and they’re basically a canonical love story.

So I just don’t need to come up with stuff like two guys who are childhood friends, but they didn’t show anything about them except for standing next to each other are suddenly deeply in love, cause to me this doesn’t make anyone romantically involved. Like I might have thought about it if they were some amazing, interesting and mind-blowing characters, but they’re literally as dull as can be (you can always prove me wrong of course, but with this amount of material and the range of characters I’ve seen, I really don’t think you can).

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging or anything, people can imagine all they want if it makes them happy, I’m just personally not looking for this, I enjoy more of real couples stuff, than bros.

And what’s with childhood friends, I seriously do not get. Does Shion have to date Safu now? Cause I don’t wanna. Or is it only working for boyxboy couples? Wei Wuxian & Jiang Cheng were together since kids. Wei Wuxian is in love and married to Lan Wangji. Real life example.. Rhett & Link from GMM, been best friends since fucking forever, both happily married to their wives and have kids.

So far it was “stop talking to girls” like Kasamatsu/Kise scene and hitting him for trying to hit baby Kageyama, which is... maybe signs of an epic love story for some, idk, but also Oikawa is like.. not a good human being, like at all. So to me it’s basically... I don’t see whats to be passionate about. Not to mention the fact that Idk how you personally imagine relationships, but I can 100% say Oikawa is not ready for dating. Trying to imagine him saying “I love you” to someone is hilarious to me tbh. So you just have to write him OOC, cause he’s not mature enough to be there any time soon.

And watching him per se was honestly painful and embarrassing after watching how behave 15 years old Wei Wuxian, 8 years old Rin, 13 years old Todoroki, 15 years old Gareki, etc. I can name 100s of characters who deserve 10k fanfiction more than this.

You just gotta understand, to me love is not just playing sports together, to me love is “needing him more than air”, “going against the world for him”, “feeling him next to you even when you’re miles away”, “thinking about him is what keeps you going and do incredible things”, “you look at him and your heart makes a flip”, “he touches you and you're on cloud nine”, “he makes you feel like you can conquer the world and together you can do anything” idk how to describe this. I don’t ship “hey, they fist-bumped”.

And it’s not cause I have bad imagination, it’s cause I don’t know why even do it, when you have so many almost canon great gay ships flying around these days. Kuroko and Kagami also a good team, but I don’t wanna see them date, cause it doesn’t make sense, there’s nothing connecting them besides basketball and they never had any romantic feelings for each other. Not everyone has to date just cause they play sports together. I just feel like these days you can show 2 seconds of two guys walking together and the next day it would be 20k fics about them. Like who are they, doesn’t matter xD

So no, I haven’t read fics about them. I read fics only if I ship a couple, cannot do it the other way around. I’ve heard about ppl falling in love with arts and fics before ships, but I’m not this way. I prefer great characters to fics about a character who’s a prcatically a blank space so you can write whatever you want (that’s basically an original stuff already). Cause when I read fics about my ships, I know it’s 100% about them, and it cant be replaced with any other characters names. Like scratch volleyball and I don’t even know how you would’ve tell that the character in the fic you’re reading is Oikawa. For example, if I read an au and there was someone who’s sassy, into reading light novels and loved vanilla milkshakes I’d immediately said that it was Kuroko, but how do you know you’re reading about Oikawa? Like “a character is an asshole and hits ppl”? Cause I couldn’t see anything about his character or personality or anything even with a magnifying glass, cause it wasn’t there. Like... pretend he’s deep?

And people write all kind of stuff, I’ve once read a kiribaku fic where Bakugou (!!!!!!!!!!) has arranged a date of going to the mountains to watch at stars... I’m... I’m sorry guys but... LMFAO I personally can’t imagine that, this is not Bakugou to me).

Please, also don’t take this harshly, people are free to do whatever they want honestly. It’s just I personally don’t understand this and never will.

P.S. You guys, don’t feel like you have to apologize just cause some ppl in your fandom are like that, I think almost every fandom have those. Especially those animes who has a wide range of different audience (like bnha from 10 to 40). It’s not like you have anything to do with this. So it’s all okay. And I’m glad you love my blog :) It means a lot.

[actuallyschizoid]

i am so. tired of people. I have a feeling this is the cliche schizoid thing, or something desperate edgy people might say, but I mean it. it's nice to have a list of people to talk to, just because talking fills time. but they've all got issues they try to come to me about, and I don't care about them, at all. or there's always some difference in opinion with us that i'm sure a normal person could get over, but for me it's fucking exhausting. i am so, so very tired of dealing with people

That’s fine, anon. I’m tired of people for past 20 years or so. ^^’ Or, in more intense quality, for past 5 years. To my experience, it’s unlikely to ever change. Except that it might get worse if you force that communication on yourself and/or during PD manifestation. 

But really, that’s not such a big of a deal. You always have a choice whether to keep being tired of people or try to attempt to fix it a bit. There are a few options how it can be done. 

The one probably least radical one is to change your view on dealing with people. Like in your example, in solving problems you don’t care about for people you (probably) don’t care all that much about either. 

Do you realize that it’s likely people approach you with their issues because you might be just better at helping them figure out how to fix those issues then most other people they know? At least, many schizoids are — thanks to the common among us rational (as opposed to emotional, for obvious reason) way of thinking and dulled emotions which save us from suggesting emotional (and useless) solutions.

I too used to get a lot of this, when there were people who could actually reach me for advice (spoiler: very few still do, because, hopefully, not many still remember I exist). Seriously, at some point I felt like some mix of free casual matters detective and relationship consultant in one. Every person who thought to be my friend at least a bit would visit me *only* when they have some troublesome story they suddenly want to share with me and expect me to say something about it. 

Why? Because after I listen to it, I usually tiredly sigh and say something like “isn’t it obvious? just *do the most obvious thing that you already know you need to do but you don’t coz you have emotional reasons stopping you from doing so*, that’s the only sane solution, can’t you see that yourself?”. And more often then people follow that advice... eventually. 

Not sure why, though. Maybe they actually never hear things like that being said to them by most other people they come to? And all they hear is “oh poor you, I’m so sorry, I’d feel the same on your spot, I really would be just as stuck as you are, now let’s cry together and you’ll feel better”? That’d make sense, at least — except that usually they manage to get offended by the lack of sympathy from my side *while still taking the fking advice*. >.>

But, honestly, unless things get out of control when I have no choice whether to help them or to face actual negative consequences for not doing so, I usually don’t mind it too much. Why? Even though I don’t care about those people, and even less so I care about their tiny little problems? 

Well, because solving problems is fun for me. It has always been. It makes me a little bit less bored. Especially in those nasty boredom spikes when nothing else can make me un-bored (and it still happens a lot). Even if those problems are ridiculously easy. Even if it’s a “problem” of what to do with an abusive girlfriend when the friend in question has nowhere to go but to return to parents despite a bit tense relationships with them and a promise that he’ll start to live separately — well, duh... dump her right away, shove your pride about not returning deep down your ass and get some time to recover. Or if that somehow is not an option, get a job already and rent yourself a room, you’re 24 and completely utterly fit and healthy male NT with proper education and absolutely no excuse for not being self-sufficient, the fk are you relaying on a girl that beats you to bruises on daily basis just to live in her house, that’s just ridiculous. (actual problem I had to “solve” by stating the obvious)

Of course, I’d prefer more fun problems to solve. Like something that takes a bit of thinking, maybe some googling and analyzing stuff I didn’t know of before. I wouldn’t care first thing about whose problem to solve, would they feel any better after it, what would they think about me, etc. At best they wouldn’t even know or see me. Really, I just can dig this irl game of puzzles on occasion. It adds some interest to the game when the most effective way of dealing with it wouldn’t be googling a play-through or, alternatively, not googling a play-through while feeling like you’re doing it the wrong way and dodging spoilers flooding from everywhere like fire. 

Anyway, what I’m saying... If you happen to get that treatment often enough to justify it, and the only alternative for you is to either deal with them while getting tired or endure some negative effects for not doing it... well, try to find some interest in doing so? Forget the fact that you help actual people. You’re not doing it for them — you do it coz it’s less boring than looking at the blank wall or, I dunno, watching through another episode of shitty tv-series. 

And, as usual, there’s always an alternative approach to getting tired of people: maybe just avoiding people altogether would help to solve the being tired problem much more efficiently. But it’s often complicated by the fact that getting rid of all people who make you tired is... well, it’s hard. Without sacrificing a ton to do so, at least. It’s definitely not an option for everyone, but for me it somewhat works.

Yeah, you guessed that right — solving problems is exactly what I attempt at doing on this blog in my long replies to random anon questions. More often than not at least — including this one. And yes, I kinda like it. Even if problems aren’t quite on the subject of szpd, I might still reply because... well, why not? Between this and spending an extra hour in a game where I have 1400+ days spent by now, I most likely pick this option. That, of course, doesn’t mean I’d care much whether my reply actually helps anyone or not. ^^’ But I wouldn’t mind if it accidentally does, either. 

To schizoids who read this: do you, folks, feel the same about solving problems? Do you often find yourself in position where people around you expect that you help them?