#don't mind me election night anxiety spiral

[forthelulzy]

i don't wanna i don't wanna i don't wanna

[ranaissingle]

Coffee or Tea pt.5

Masterlist Part 1 Part 4

Summary: Cuddles and then fluff and then smut. The true holy trinity if you ask me

Rating: M (I will mark where the smut starts for those who want to skip it)

Pairings: Austin x AFAB!Reader Word Count: 2.5k ( I think that's a record lol) Warnings: sex stuff, p in v sex, unprotected sex (pls use protection kids)

A/N: The long-awaited final chapter is here. It took me literally 5 days to write all of the smut bc, and I can't stress this enough, I have no idea what I am doing. Thank you all for following me on this journey. This was my first fanfiction, and the reception of my writing has been greater than everything I could have ever dreamed of. I love you all.

Also, please send me requests I have no inspiration

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Following their less-than-innocent activities, Austin and Y/N had elected to retreat into her room to spend the rest of the night together.

Austin sat up from the couch with Y/N's body still securely wrapped around his and her legs hugging his waist.

"I'll take us to bed now m'kay?" Her soft reply of "mmhm" and nodding into his shoulder was all he needed to begin the short walk to her room.

He gently placed her on the bed with a tenderness that made tears well up in her eyes. His hands were soothing on her tense skin, and the gentle smile on his face made her heart skip a beat.

Austin looked up from his ministrations to catch her eyes.

"Darlin? Are you alright? Did I do something wrong?" The worry in Austin's voice was palpable. She dug her palms into her eye sockets to stem the flow of tears.

"N-no. You were perfect, it was nice. So nice that I don't know if this is real or a dream and I don't want it to end and I'm so scared that it will." The words tumbled out of her mouth before she had the chance to realize what it was she was actually saying. They were warbled from her tears and teetered on the edge of a confession she wasn't sure she wanted to make.

"It's all real Y/N, all of it and I don't want you to think that it is anything but real." Austin's voice cut through her anxiety like a knife through butter. Her shoulders sagged where he massaged her arm and he let her fall against his chest.

"Sorry, I've never felt or done any of this before so I guess you could say that I'm a little... shocked is all. I didn't think you would stick around afterward honestly."

Austin's laugh was crisp, "I’m sad you think so little of me, princess.'

"No! It's not like that. I know you wouldn't leave me like that because I know you are a good person. I guess I just have abandonment issues." She chuckled dryly.

"Listen darlin', I have meaning to tell you that I-. Well, I lov-"

She could swear she heard buzzing in her ear. He didn't say what she thought he said. Did he? No, he didn't, because that wouldn't make any sense.

Her nails dug into her palms.

That would mean that for the first time in her life, someone had loved her the way she did them. But that's not possible. Is it?

The thoughts spiraled in her mind and each one was darker than the last. He was lying to her. He was lying to get her to sleep with him. He was going to use her and then leave her alone like all the others.

Her hands felt clammy.

A large warm hand enveloped her own and the fog in her mind began to clear.

"Come back to me darlin'. Come back, please." The soft voice gently lulled her back into awareness. She felt like she was coming back up for air after being trapped underwater.

“Sorry. I- I didn't-" She could barely get a word out as she gulped down the fresh air.

Austin moved his hands to cup her face and repeated his earlier words.

"I love you. I love you so much it hurts. You are all I think about darlin' you are all I want."

"Austin." She gasped his name and pushed her lips against his soft ones.

She moved her mouth against his with a fervor she wasn't even sure she had. His tongue swiped the seam of her lips to ask for entrance and she happily gave it to him. He worked her in ways much different than before. He tilted her head every which way while he brought his hands down to palm her hips and bring her closer all at once.

Y/N was back in his lap with her legs stretched over his and Austin pulled away from her to speak.

"We don't have to go any further tonight if you don't want to. We don't even have to do it all if that's what you would wa-"

"I love you." Her voice was clear as a summer morning and almost like she had gathered more courage she spoke again.

"I love you Austin. More than I have ever loved anyone in my life."

Smut starts here (MDNI)

Austin groaned loud and fierce before he crashed his lips over hers again.

He was everywhere. His hands reached down to palm her clit once more through her clean panties.

"I know your body so well Y/N. I knew what to do before I even touched you for the first time." He punctuated his sentence with a quick flick of Y/N's clothed clit making her gasp and buck her hips into his. She felt his hard bulge straining against the seam of his pants.

She reached down to palm it softly. Austins' groan was so loud it practically shook the walls of her small apartment.

She retracted her palm before stuttering out, "S-Sorry! Did I hurt you?".

"No darlin' not at all. If anything, it feels too good. Something about your little hands just gets me goin'."

"Uh, do you... Do you want me to keep going?"

"Yeah baby, I want your hands on me for the rest of my life." His exasperated sigh and far-off stare told her all she needed to know.

Austin enveloped her hand with his and brought it back down to the source of his mental fog. He opened her palm and pressed it against himself.

"Ugggnh" He groaned and moaned while she unhurriedly palmed him through his pants.

"Just like that darlin' you're doin' so well, agh!" He moaned when she applied more pressure to a particular spot. He was putty in her hands writhing and twisting his hips at every touch while panting into her neck. Despite the consuming pleasure, he still found the strength to work her most sensitive bits. Austin's fingers slowly lifted the hem of her panties up and away from her nether region to glimpse the dripping oasis he knew was there. He slowly pushed his fingers in between her; much to her appreciation. Her hips bucked against his hand and her head fell into his neck.

"Austin!~" Y/N's voice was pained.

As if this was her first time with him all over again. Like Austin hadn't just brought her to climax less than a half hour before. She felt she had all the energy in the world. Perks of being a woman she supposed.

"You already want more don't ya darlin'? I just rang you dry earlier and you're already craving huh?" He circled his finger around the rim of her entrance and she tensed in his arms.

"You're such a greedy little thing arent ya." He pushed his finger in slowly while still rubbing his thumb against her clit. She tried to keep her hand's movements consistent where she rubbed it over his cock, but with all the ways he was touching her, it felt nearly impossible. She could barely breathe let alone execute accurate muscle movements.

"Austin uh- slow down, I can't- I can't touch you at the same time~" Y/N's panting gasps made it hard to let out a coherent sentence.

"Oh, but I know you can darlin' You're gonna have to if you want me to keep goin'." She could hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke. He knew exactly what he was doing and he was enjoying it. Almost too much. Her arms shook with the effort it took to keep her hands steady as she rubbed over the ridges of his cock as a white liquid dribbled slowly out of his tip.

"You're doin' so well darlin'. Your hands feel so good Y/N Jesus! I don't know how much longer I'm gonna last." His face had scrunched up at his confession but his hands were mercilessly pounding her. He had managed to put in another finger and found that spongy spot inside of her once again while she was focused on him.

"I'm gonna need ya to stop touchin' me darlin' I want to finish inside of you. Can I?"

Now, normally she would have turned this suggestion down immediately (assuming she had gone this far with anyone save for her vibrator) but it seems at that moment, Y/N suffered from a temporary moment of insanity.

Y/N gasped at his suggestion and whimpered as the visual of his cum leaking out of her crossed her mind.

"Austin please, please I want you inside me so bad." She leaned her head against his shoulder and whispered in his ear, " I want to feel you Austin, please. I want you so bad I can barely think."

"Darlin' you are making it so hard to be gentle with ya right now." His head lolled back against the headboard to compose his thoughts before he perked back up signaling he had come to a decision.

He gazed at her intently, causing Y/N to squirm in his lap. He had managed to get her writhing against him all over again with nothing but his gaze. A gaze that said he was going to devour her and leave nothing left.

"Come closer darlin', this is gonna be a bumpy ride." He drew one of his hands around her waist to tug Y/N closer to him. Austin's fingers traced the seam of her shirt and looked at her for permission. With a nod from her, he grasped the fabric and pulled it up over her head, tossing it aside in the room."

He didn't say a word as he ogled her chest like a starved man.

"Jesus darlin' every time I think you can't get any better you prove me wrong."

"Austiiin~" The need in her voice had Austin at her beck and call. He would have moved mountains for her at that moment. He moved the both of them to where she was laying on the bed and he hovered over her.

"I know baby, I'll help you feel good don't worry." Austin reached back in between her legs to gather some of her slick on his fingers and rubbed it over his swelled shaft.

"I'm gonna put it in now darlin' alright? It might hurt a little so just tell me and I'll stop, hm?" She nodded and he pushed her legs apart to align himself with her leaking hole. He groaned at the sight of her. He pushed himself slowly into her and she felt the air leave her lungs as he stretched more than she had ever thought possible. The ridges of him pushed and prodded against her in the most perfect way.

"A-AUSTIN!~" His name fell from her lips in a cascade accompanied by moans of pleasure and whimpers. Her nails dug into his shoulder blades to quell the growing burning sensation in her stomach. Austin had stopped his movements in order to give Y/N a moment to breathe and grow accustomed to him, but she wanted anything but the sort. She pulled his head closer to her lips and whispered so softly he barely heard her at all.

"Please Austin, I want to feel you moving inside of me." He didn't even give me the chance to finish before he was pounding his hips against hers. The fervor with which he pushed against her made her see galaxies in her vision almost immediately.

"Fuck darlin' I would spend the rest of my life inside of you." He brought his hand up to thumb her clit and her choked sobs spurred him on. His other hand reached up to cup her cheeks and bring her into a searing kiss. Y/N's heart fluttered against his chest and Austin's groans of pleasure only made her gush more.

"Come on darlin', you're doin' so well for me. Jesus." His speed continued to increase until he was spindling her so hard that the bed frame started to shake and rattle against the wall.

"You're so beautiful, my god. You look so good when you're hungry for me baby." His fingers played with her clit and prodded her already stuffed entrance.

Y/n felt something bubbling up inside of her. Something that threatened to spill over at any given moment, and Austin felt it. Y/N clenched herself against his cock which created the most delightful friction between the both of them. Austin's labored breaths and hands tightened around her body bringing her closer to the edge of the proverbial cliff.

"Darlin, are you close? I can feel ya clenching around me. Fuck, you re squeezing the shit out of me! I'm gonna wring you dry just you wait baby." Austin's moans and groans grew louder in tandem with hers until neither of them could hear the other anymore.

"Are you gonna come baby? Come on I want to see how you look when you finish darlin'. You'll let me see it won't you?" His voice sounded desperate and it hitched after each thrust. He would not allow himself to cum until he had seen you fall apart under him for the first time.

Y/N felt like she had transcended time when her orgasm came crashing down on her.

"AUSTIN!" The anguish in her voice shocked her as her thighs shook and her nails dug deeper into Austin's back making little crescent shapes moons as a mark of her pleasure.

"That's it baby! Fuck! Your cunt is so goddamn tight. Ungh! I'm gonna cum darlin'. Your insides are gonna be full of me."

He pounded into her impossibly harder before letting out a moan so loud it shook the walls while the emptied himself in her. She felt him sputter inside of her and the liquid painted her insides. Austin's heavy body collapsed next to her with his head and part of his shoulders resting over her.

Both of them let out heavy pants and had equally large smiles on their faces.

Austin was the first to move and pull the blanket from the sides of the bed over the two of them. resting his head on hers and embracing her in his chest. Gently, he brushed back her disheveled hair and caressed her cheek before kissing her temples and cheek.

He placed little kisses all over her face and neck until she eventually fell asleep in his arms more relaxed than she had ever been before.; and when he was sure she was asleep he whispered in her ear,

"I love you so much I would die for you Y/N." Austin had never felt for anyone so strongly. Austin had never felt such strong emotions for anyone, but for some inexplicable reason, you had captured his heart and held it in the palm of your hand. He was willing to follow you anywhere and everywhere, forever, with a smile on his face.

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PLEASE READ ALL OF IT!!

You girlies will be pleased to know that I have improved how shy I get writing smut. I had the gall, the audacity, and the gumption, to write most of this while in a Starbucks when I should have been doing psych homework. But alas, I have no shame. I literally typed a vagina as a "dripping oasis" IN A PUBLIC PLACE. BRB gonna go kill myself. I am also planning an Austin Butler x OC series SO would the girlies prefer a reader insert or would an OC be good too? PLEASE let me know because I'm so stuck lol. I feel that it's hard to have an in-depth story with just an x-reader parameter. I would still use pronouns like you and your etc. but just the name would be decided already and I would be able to give more personality to the character BUT I would still keep it race and body neutral. idk tho. I hope you bitches enjoyed this poor excuse for smut lol I still have to get better at writing it.

[tobi-smp]

You know what annoys me the most about the discourse surrounding the red festival? The Specific techno apologists criticizing anyone who Doesn't excuse techno killing tubbo as not understanding techno, not thinking about his mental health, his paranoia and anxiety, how he felt like he was surrounded by enemies, and then turning around and Dead Seriously blaming wilbur for tubbo's death. Wilbur.

The man who was in a paranoid suicidal death spiral, the man who had to be talked down from pushing a button that was rigged to Kill Him that very day, the man who was wearing no armor and only holding gravel because a part of him Wanted someone to kill him, the man who was betrayed in the final control room and betrayed in the elections and died both times, the man Completely Sure that he's the villain Because He Thinks Everyone Hates Him And That They're Right To.

That man?

That's the man that you think was in his complete right of mind that was just choosing to be cruel because he felt like it?

Don't you say a Word about techno's anxiety that night if you seriously think that wilbur was at fault for the red festival because we both know you aren't saying it to advocate for mental health

[penwrythesdreams]

Some Thoughts #2: Coping mechanisms

Well, it’s been a long while since I last posted here! My apologies!

I want to take a moment to talk about coping with anxiety using my verits. I don't want to trigger anyone, so here's a quick TW for mentioning covid-19, anxiety attacks, and unreality (for the way I tend to interact with my paras and daydreams)

Over the past couple of years, I found that my anxiety had increased from multiple sources from daily life at home, health, and social media. The pandemic and the events in 2020 did a number to my mental health. I remember having anxiety attacks at night triggered by over worrying about my family’s health. I feared getting sick or dying from covid. The election, police violence, and so on from that year made me so afraid for so long. I’m glad my family held me together. I’m grateful that I am still here.

During the summer of that year, I created Cyprus in June. I used him to help me cope with my anxiety. It was a bit of a learning experience figuring out what traits I wanted him to have. I imagined him as a comforting and nurturing figure, feminine and masculine, strong, kind, and confident—someone who is the opposite of myself. I wanted someone to be calm while I was experiencing symptoms of my anxiety.

I like imagining his deep, calm, and comforting voice guiding me through my thought spirals. It helped a lot. Unfortunately, my frustrations about how my anxiety keeps me from a peaceful mind sometimes bleed over to Cyprus, so he gets frustrated as well. It’s not a good feeling when this happens because this could trap me into a feedback loop bouncing between frustration and anxiousness. I feel held back by my anxiety, and I get tired of how it just stops me from living life.

Anxiety feeds on itself, and it’s hard to break up thought spirals when they get bad. But over time, I learned that I need to be kinder to myself and give myself time to calm down. Patience is key. So, I imagine Cyprus learning how to be kinder to me. He would sit with me and talk with me about what made me so anxious. Break up those thoughts bit by bit. It’s not perfect, but it’s a start. If I can’t be fine right now, I can at least be a little okay. Then a little better later on. Just treat each small moment of peace as a stepping stone. I will be fine eventually. I need to take my time.

I remember a thought I had about Cyprus. He is me loving myself. I think I was always hard on myself for being anxious, easily distracted, having bad thoughts, and just being me. Sometimes, I don’t like myself. That worries me. I felt like I needed another “me” to see myself differently to like me. I know I don’t have to do that, but it does help me learn to accept myself. To learn to better appreciate and respect myself. Not like being overly prideful, but just accepting that I am not a perfect person and that my flaws are just a part of my humanity.

Pyrrhus, who I created later in 2020, functions similarly to Cyprus, but they have a different personality. They’re more fun and spontaneous, exuberant, and bright! They tend to be a significant drive for my motivation and creativity. They love encouraging me to work on my projects. They also help balance Cyprus whenever my frustrations or worries bleed over to him. I feel that Pyrrhus helps keep things in balance between myself and Cyprus.

It took me a good year and a half to figure out how Pyrrhus functions to help keep me calm during my anxious moments. I eventually settled on them helping me out with my mild anxiety symptoms and lifting my mood whenever I feel down.

Also, I should mention Celadie, my newest verit. She’s from the same inspiration as Pyrrhus (I might not mention where cause I feel awkward about it, but Pyrrhus’ character design hints at it). Both she and Pyrrhus share a close bond and often hang out together. I’m still figuring out where she fits in, but I just like imagining her being around, like playing games, spending time watching videos, etc. She’s like a friend to me. Maybe, she’s the peace I’m searching for. A peace I need to learn to accept.

While I do enjoy the company of my verits, I do want to say one thing. My daydreams and verits are not replacements for proper therapy. They are only coping mechanisms to help me while also being something deeply personal beyond that. I do plan in the future to get help for my anxiety and integrate better-coping tools into my verits. I think both Cyprus and Pyrrhus will benefit from CBT therapy since I already use them to help break up my thought spirals. I also believe it will help with building confidence and trust within myself. Something I will look forward to once I get the help I need.

Something extra:

Sometimes when I feel down, I like talking to one of my verits to help bring myself up again. I use either use a personal private discord with Tupperbox or Antar to do. Here’s Cyprus using a grounding meditation to help me:

[collectivefandomasks]

Tumblr Mom, I am scared. I am sorry if you don't like politics being dragged into your blog, but I am American and feel helpless. I'm just shy of being able to vote and I've probably been watching the results (so far) way too obsessively, but I'm really scared about what's going to happen if he wins reelection. I worry that I won't have a future (not in the suicidal sense, if you're worried, just that, you know, the earth is dying, America is doing terribly, and it feels like there's a- (1/2)

Aw man I can relate to the “just shy of voting age”. I was 6 months shy of 18 during an election and it sucked. As for the politics, I don’t actually mind talking politics (weird, I know, but shipping is a lot more incendiary on tumblr than politics. What a world we live in). The reason I don’t post much about it is because I don’t think my local politics would be very relatable to an international audience, me not being American and all. Anyway! Election night is always a bit scary and for you in US right now I understand if it can feel downright apocalyptic. I only know what’s going on from an outside perspective, but it looks like there’s a polarization in the US that’s getting pretty extreme, and that always leads to a feeling of unrest on a fundamental level. We never know what’s going to happen in the future, or how things may progress in our own country politcally, but -as weird as it might sound -the fear you feel isn’t bad.

Now, we’ve all learned over the past decade (and long before that) that fear is a tool that can be used to radicalize people and cause rifts in society. Often we think that fear is the tool of fascism, dictatorships and oppression. And it is, but that’s not all it is. Fear is a warning system, that let’s us prepare and act in advance. Fear means that it’s time to focus on what’s going on, and how we will choose to handle it. Fear, like anger, can drive positive change as much as it does negative.

You describe this overwhelming feeling of chaos and powerlessness that could make any person want to just give up. We all encounter that, sometimes, whether it’s to do with the enviroment or injustice or something else. I can’t tell you there’s an easy cure, because there isn’t, but here’s what I try to do when I’m struck down by it:

I ask myself “what is the problem?” this sometimes involves research because it’s not always obvious. With the enviroment, for example, the problem could be that 100 companies are causing 70% of the pollution, and only the governments of the world can force them to get a fucking grip.

Then, I ask myself “what can I do to actually contribute to solving this?” Is there a political party I can join? A protest? A movement? Would it help to become a lawyer? A scientist? A politican? Is it so bad that I shouldn’t try to solve it, but try to escape it instead? Sometimes, there’s something I can do, which is why I’ve been active both politically and with enviromental movements when I was younger, but sometimes there isn’t. Sometimes I don’t have the energy, or time, or force of will. Worse, sometimes all alternatives feel equally worthless (which is why I’m not involved in politics now). And in those cases, I accept that fact and try to let the anxiety go. Because fear that can’t inspire movement is just paralyzing, and if you can’t move then you have to put the fear away.

My point, though I’ve rambled my way through it, is that what you’re feeling right now is good in a way. It means that you can see the world for what it is. Just don’t let that knowledge make you apathetic. And don’t fall into a spiral of catastrophic thinking. The world is not dead quite yet, and the US still holds public elections. There’s time for you to turn eighteen and start making a difference. If there’s anything we can learn from history it’s that things are never as fixed as we think they are. Rome could fall and Paris could burn. Nothing is quite as set in stone as they’d like us to think.

Stay strong anon💞💞💞

P.S. if all else fails you can always join @ihassheepquake

they seem to be on to something

[azalynestudios]

(I don't have a tumblr so you'll have to deal with anonymity, I'm afraid) What I came to ask you: when will you admit that you have lost the drive and motivation to continue the project? It has been made clear by now that you bit off more than you can chew, both by constant delays and excuses and by how the writing quality in alpha version have steadily deteriorated. I don't want yo be mean, but someone had to say it. Whatever interest and hype there were for your game, they're mostly gone.

I seriously debated whether I should answer this one or not. Not because I’m not on board with full honesty, but because there’s enough unhappy things in the world and I have been purposefully trying to keep my personal unhappy away from everyone here because you are all so lovely.

But ultimately I decided I should respond just in case there’s lots of people thinking the same thing.

Here’s a short version for people who aren’t up for a discussion of health/mental health/world talk/real talk (and don’t feel bad if that is you!): I have 100% not lost interest or drive for the game. Although it has been taking much longer than anticipated, It’s coming along. And while your opinion on the writing quality may vary, I personally think these last weeks have some of the best moments in the game. If it’s not to your taste anymore or you are sick of waiting, that’s totally fair. Thank you for your support this far and I wish you all the best!

okay the rest under the happy kittens cut:

Okay, real talk time, full disclosure. With a possible side of TMI.

So I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone when I admit that I haven’t been as great about responding in a timely fashion and this last update took way longer to complete than I would ever have guessed. And it’s recently gotten out of hand in a way I am deeply ashamed of. I feel very much like I have let you all down and I am really truly very sorry. It doesn’t have anything to do with any of you, you have all been (for the most part) completely lovely and kind and patient.

So here the honest story of how we got here.

-So despite everything, I definitely underestimated how much increasing work every week would take. Like I knew it would compound but I didn’t have any idea HOW MUCH it could compound. A big part of the delays is just how much more complicated everything is to write in these later parts of the game. It’s no exaggeration to say just this week seven update took HUNDREDS of hours of HARD work. (Some scenes used to be relatively easy to write. Nothing in week seven is fluff, nothing was easy to write.)

-A couple years ago I was getting a massive amount of asks a day. Trying to keep up with everything was seriously cutting into my work time as well as making me feel stressed and always behind. I started to cut back on responding and noticed that delays led to much less asks/emails. Less asks meant less stress. As things got worse for me the temptation to have delays so I didn’t have so much to respond to also got worse. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t working on other things, it just meant I wasn’t updating and answering properly.

-You guys have to remember that except for the art, I am doing 98% of this game completely solo. It is a lot for any game, especially one of this size.

okay with that all in mind, here’s what’s been happening on my end.

-Trump is elected. Faith in humanity takes a major hit. News/internet becomes a trash fire of bad. 

My stress levels and anxiety levels (already high because of the game and always, always feeling like I’m behind and not doing enough) spike to epic levels. I even get a few early gray hairs. (They seem to be gone now, thankfully.)

-For the sake of my mental health I have to drastically cut down on my general internet use and where I go (including tumblr, sadly)

-My health starts to take mysterious nosedives. For like 6 months I’m having serious stomach pain that is keeping me up at night. I’m also puking 3-6 times a week during this time. 

Things start to get better and I get back on track.

-My grandma dies out of nowhere from a brain aneurysm. I don’t get into my family situation on purpose, but my grandma is the only person in my entire giant family outside of my mom and my brothers that I have ever really believed actually cared about/loved me as I am.

And presto, I’m back in a bad place.

My stomach issues finally work themselves out, but my immune system still hasn’t recovered. I’m getting minor infections, colds and flus at least once or twice a month even now. 

All this time I have been working hard both on the game and on getting my mental and physical health back on track. I have my good moments and my bad.

There are two major ways how all of this has affected the game/my communication with you guys. 

1) Like I said, everything is 100% me. If I’m sick or in an anxiety spiral there is no one else to take over to communicate or bug check or whatever. Progress is completely tied to me. Which leads to the next point…

2) There’s a really bad loop. When I’m feeling anxious/stressed/depressed I can’t get everything done that I want to. Which leads to me feeling like shit/super guilty. Which leads to more anxiety and stress. And a deep, deep fear that when I check my email/asks, it will be full of people who are mad at me or disappointed or whatever, and the cycle continues.

I don’t say any of this to make anyone feel bad, or guilty or anything. In my good place, I truly love communicating with you guys and I truly think you are the most amazing people ever.

And I don’t say this as an ‘excuse’ in the sense that I think any of it is anyone’s responsibility to handle but my own. No one is obligated to wait for this game or for me. When I took money, I was taking on a professional obligation. All failures to live up to that and handle things in a more professional and responsible manner are on me and I deeply apologize for not being live up to your expectations. 

But no matter how bad things were for me, I never for a moment thought about on giving up on the game. And I promise you, I will finish the game. And it’s honestly very close. (Not that I don’t anticipate the epilogues and million game ending variations to take a long time to write and debug) but compared to where we started we have come lightyears.

You can be assured that everything that has happened during this development I have learned from and taken from heart. I now have a much better idea of what works for me and what doesn’t. In the future, if I manage enough support and interest to continue this as a career, I won’t be making the same mistakes again. Rather than doing a backer/alpha system I most likely will only release major news/announce games when they are close to finished. 

Thank you all for your patience support and interest all this time. 

(p.s. While I appreciate your concern in advance, I assure I am already on top of what I can to work things out on my end. While I appreciate your good wishes, no health/mental health advice please. Thank you!