#don't let it become a number
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
pick an object to your right and tell me about it
#keep screaming. keep calling for help.#if you can do donate. join local protests. boycott companies funding israel. show your support in every way possible#in case you can't. it doesn't matter if you can't help through money or physical means#let your voice be heard#there's nothing more terrifying than getting used to what's going on#don't let it become a number#don't let them become an object#please. please.#save palestine#free palestine#also. do tell me if anything i've said comes off as insensitive#that was never my intention and i would gladly take it down if it seems that way#my writing#poetry#prose poetry
53 notes
·
View notes
Note
Earth is a terrestrial planet, despite 70% of it's surface being covered in water. It has a molten iron core, and has existed for about 4.5 billion years. It's the third planet out from it's star (a yellow dwarf).
The Cartologist: Oooh, interesting, is there more?
The Cartologist: Oh, is that what the song about cheese comes from?
The Coordinator: Yes, mortal planets that have had life for a long time do tend to experience multiple extinction events, which is one of the reasons it is important we tend to our duties.
#toh#the owl house#ask blog#ask the archivists#asks are open#id in alt text#toh oc#meteor shower event#second anon I must inform you that I was always taught there are 7 continents and 5 oceans#and as a north american you combining north and south america#but keeping asia and europe separate even though they're more of a singular landmass than the americas#I had to stare out the window into the inky void of space#also you forgot the continent of antarctica#Also why are you including SEAS in the OCEAN count?#sorry if it sounds like I'm beefing with you on any serious level I am just genuinely baffled#Might as well call the great lakes an ocean if you're counting the black sea#And count the Caspian sea since that's the same size as the Black sea#fuck it any body of water you can't see across is now an Ocean#We live on water world let's exploit that and give ourselves an insane number of oceans#just like how I learned the Earth doesn't have an agreed upon name by the whole world#I am now shaking the ENTIRE earth so we can all agree upon a standard model for oceans and continents#like please for the love of god can we be on the same page *sobbing emoji*#I don't even care if the model I was taught becomes outdated#I just think we should all agree about something basic like the number of oceans and continents on this planet
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
poisoned book investigation update: i reached the part of queen margot that deals with the poisoned book and this only made me more convinced that this is indeed. what happened. back in 2010. because 1) i know my mother well and therefore know she would kin catherine de' medici (yes yes i know. i know. what can i say. she's insane. it's a family tradition) 2) in the novel, the book was poisoned by catherine herself (she conceived and carried out both the scheme and the execution herself), and meant to kill her political enemy and son-in-law (but ended up poisoning (and killing) her own son). the exact method of course would be unsuitable for my own mother to imitate as it is the exact same method used in the name of the rose (possibly where umberto eco got the inspiration from, actually?), therefore as i mentioned earlier impossible to recreate with the kind of paper my copy of the three musketeers was printed on. but. yeah. not that i had many doubts at this point anymore but this is really. convincing evidence. psychologically speaking.
like for the. catherine de' medici kin part:
my mother always loved her as a historical figure. we did visit a lot of historical castles and museums and all when i was a kid and she always had a marked preference for 1) the renaissance era and history 2) the medici family 3) catherine de' medici specifically. she admired her cunning and force of spirit and ambition and influence. #1 girlboss supporter (she did not support the. you know. religious massacres tho. she didn't think catherine was a great figure to emulate or whatever. but she admired her nonetheless)
as i've mentioned before, my mother has always been a wannabe italian. she's especially fond of the italian renaissance and in particular florence and its history. in the novel the fact catherine de' medici is florentine is a key part of her characterization
physically there seems to be a similarity? dumas doesn't actually describe his characters' appearance much, but from the few elements we get, it seems to fit (= pale, grey(?) eyes with a cold and cunning look, short and stout but pretty, white hands (that she takes great care of), short and stout (fat?) stature in general, blonde hair, small lips, imposing presence that makes other people immediately fall in line & scares them (she was very proud of that)). it's not much but knowing her she would jump to conclusions and want to really. Be Like Her
sorry i know how this sounds i KNOW you don't have to believe me but i swear this is all true. inherited insanity and all that. the true Drow Ass Family
#sorry it still hasn't fully. been. processed i think.#i mean at some point how. do you let that sink in. 'that' being 'my mother tried to poison me in a narratively-meaningful way when i was 11#the poisoned book saga#<- tag if you don't understand what the fuck i'm talking about and want to read up on the whole thing.#i do wonder how much time she spent planning and all like. 10 years old me listening intently to her lectures about catherine de' medici#in Blois castle and all the Loire castles (we visited them all over the course of summer 2008 i think). like <- clueless#she did always enjoy putting on a show and scattering tragic irony and double entendres and foreshadowing elements........#thank you mother for trying so bad to kill me that you inadvertently ended up making me become your number one nightmare: a poet.#... just like catherine de' medici tried to kill henri de navarre to prevent him from becoming the king despite The ProphecyTM#only to inadvertently kill her own son and therefore making him become the king Earlier Than Anticipated.#IT'S FUN HOW IT WORKS ISNT IT. THE NARRATIVE MOTHER. THE NARRATIVE!#saying that because i am not completely insane (yet) and the whole. fighting against a prophecy thing? is something that they did For Real#which i got from their OWN ADMISSION when i was 17. btw. not something i made up or anything. they literally are like that.#i inherited the Perception Of The Narrative And Fate And Its Patterns And Cycles. as a family curse. this is very much a literal&cold fact.#anyway.
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
my ultimate wish for this next era is they finally let Ryan go like they did Andy. I'm so sick of not getting the content we deserve. All the gatekeeping of tour diaries and now the crumbs of concert footage in that "documentary" yesterday. he was working for months on that? that's why we didn't get tour diaries? all that footage just goes in his vault now? Please.
Hello! I'm sorry to hear you felt disappointed by yesterday's special. However, I feel compelled to comment on a few objective points in your ask.
- "Live & Backstage in Amsterdam" was directed by James Tonkin, the same director (and production team, Hangman) they worked with on "The Feeling of Falling Upwards" (and the unreleased "Live in Brixton" special). Ryan was credited as director of the documentary footage and as a contributing editor (1 of 3) but the live footage and overall final program was not his work.
- Regardless of the particular creatives involved here (or in any given project for that matter), the fact remains that any directors, producers, photographers, etc are all hired hands operating with full input and specific direction from the band. The band chose to make this a hybrid concert film/documentary. The band chose to condense the setlist the way they did. The band chose this format over the traditional tour diaries. What happens to the unused footage will be determined by the band. Ryan is a friend but he is first and foremost an employee and the band owns that footage. (Likewise, the MYT diaries are not sitting on Andy Deluca's hard drive because he's "gatekeeping" or too lazy to edit it. If the band wanted them released, they'd be released.) All this to say, of course you don't have to agree with the decisions but it's important to clarify who your complaint is with.
- This concept of the band or their collaborators "gatekeeping" and fans not getting what we "deserve" is, to be blunt, entitled and immature. Being a fan does not make an artist indebted to you. They make music, if you feel so inclined, you listen. That's it. That's the extent of the contract. Anything beyond that is optional for both parties. Any content an artist chooses to release is not out of obligation or generosity, it's part business strategy, part artistic vision. Artists do not owe you anything. This band does not owe you anything.
#apologies for the long answer but clearly i had a lot to say (still do tbh)#i didn't link it bc it hit a lot of the same points but i answered an ask with similar sentiments last year about the CM promo era aesthetic#bottom line is at the end of the day these dudes are not our friends shit posting they are professional artists#artists trying to fulfill not just a creative vision but also business obligations#the people they work with are tools in the toolbox hired to help accomplish those goals#they don't get raw footage and do whatever they want with it - the band will always get final say#the hate their collaborators get is always so bizarre to me-whether it be their signature style or the manner in which they deliver content#the band hired these people for a reason 🤷🏻♀️#also just bc I have the time: Andy was not 'let go'#thru their work with 5sos andy & sarah have become quite prolific mv directors both individually and as a team#as well as continuing to be in demand live music photographers - andy literally shot depeche mode last week#ryan has also had a number of high profile ad campaigns he's shot this year#what I'm saying is they don't need 5sos lol#the band likes their work and is lucky to have access to collaborators that make them feel understood#i just... can't reconcile this 'we deserve' bit#this was the third concert special in as many years... we only had to pay for one... bc it was a global livestream#it's ok to be disappointed if it wasn't what you expected and i don't mean to invalidate that#but this concept of 'deserving' is a different thing especially in the context of this fandom where entitlement is an ongoing issue#so that's where this long ass answer is coming from lol#anyways that's my rant for the year - just in under the wire!#ask#anon
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
the duality of me not liking the fanon name seven versus using it constantly anyway without even realising ...
#i don't think it's bad or anything!! i just think six is sort of like ... a 'lady' thing#like she's the sixth if you know what i mean...#so seven doesn't work for me with him#however. rk is such a weird mouthful. cannot win#plus i did always love the irony of seven being a lucky number and him being the unluckiest guy in the world#and mono does mean one i suppose... but it's not an outright number...#anyway... let me write a little now that i've had ample emo hours about the no announcements#author becomes beyond reproach . / ooc
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Me who bought tickets to see TMBG in february 2023 and the Me who's going to actually go to the show next month are two completely different people
#slash extremely negative#it's funny to actually live this whole sort of cliche of: the time between buying tickets and going to the show can be so absurdly long#with what was supposed to be my 1st 'real' concert no less#'i bought the tickets as a teenager but i'm going to see them in my 20s etc' and stuff like that#and then when it gets rescheduled too... well. a year and 9 months is in fact a pretty long time!!!#and i'm not even talking about rescheduling due to covid because god at least i didn't have to deal with that i guess#(it IS funny though that by the time the 30th anniversary of flood tour ends#flood will be 2 months away from turning 35. so yeah lmao a lot happened in the meantime huh)#anyways day two of going crazy going insane for no reason other than well i guess that's just my life now!!!!! 😃😃😃#me when i say i'll stop documenting my rapidly progressing mental breakdown online and then keep doing it anyway#but idk maybe this will heal me in some way. my only hope rn no joke#and my mom actually seemed to be unsure if i we should book the hotels and stuff because. ig i'm this obviously unwell even over the phone#but BY GOD this is the only thing i can really look forward to right now i really need this to survive#(trying to forget how i was doing in september of last year when they rescheduled the tour#and i couldn't even be sure if i'd ever get to see them in the end lollllll#and at the heights of my tmbg obsession this was my number 1 dream. i mean it still is)#also i think i'm finally entering my tmbg autumn era now with some more frequent listening after not doing so for a while#how could i let myself pretty much forget that i love tmbg??? and that their music is so good and makes me happy???#they're still my fav band of all time just like they were back then. THAT didn't change at least#it's just that now they share that spot with sparks also lol. can't choose between them and why should i anyway#what else. ig i just hope i get the energy to finally draw tomorrow at least#because if i don't turn the ideas i have into reality then they will never become real! and that would be so sad#so maybe this can be my main reason to continue for now. whatever#goosepost
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fuck it, weird-yet-galaxy-brain take is that Love Is War is rom-com Death Note, but not in regard to the ship that everyone thinks, and what I mean by this is that Kaguya and Miyuki are NOT the lighthearted lower-stakes rom-com version of Light and L, they're the lighthearted lower-stakes rom-com version of Near and Mello.
#NO THINK ABOUT IT#they both want the same end result but achieving that result gets wrapped up in the idea of 'winning' against the other person#history of academic rivalry#they each have qualities the other lacks-and thus together become greater than the sum of their individual traits#the one seen as 'weird' and/or 'cringe-y' was willing to reach out at one point and the other person wouldn't let themselves accept it#because of their personal psychological issues#the rivalry is more the result of unfortunate external influences rather than any actual ideological conflict#issues that come from inheriting a title and making your own name for yourself despite an inferiority complex#DO YOU SEE THE VISION™#OBVIOUSLY it's not a perfect or direct translation but as the number one kaguya/miyuki stan I think I'm allowed to say this#kaguya sama#near x mello#meronia#(I don't want to put this in the full fandom tags because I don't think it belongs there??)#(but I know people are going to want to have this tagged as SOMETHING so they can block it)#this is a very strange intersection of interests & I'm not really sure it's going to make sense to anyone but me but *gestures wildly* here#like genuinely I might sound completely deranged as I say this but also I've been up for about 24 hours straight so#(also I recently read a fic for n/m where something kind of love is war-esque happened and my brain just...went wild I guess)
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Loving everyone in the comments of the leverage fic giving their opinions on what species the gang should be it is very fun and it is giving me Ideas.
#chit chat#tbh you know what would be REALLY funny?#if the team ends up san lorenzoing riyo chuchi into chancellorship#accidentally#or even on purpose#i mean she's not who i usually go for in a new Chancellor fic but hey#she's like. canonically. the number one clone defender now isn't she???#it would be sooo funny if she accidentally ended up stealing the Republic without even realizing who the leverage team ade#*are#fox can be her first lady I don't think he deserves the nightmare of running the Republic#it doesn't even have to be romantic foxiyo. power couple best friends accidentally becoming the highest members of the government#after palpatine is most embarrassingly exposed as a fraud and a liar and a criminal and a shitty boss and--less importantly. a sith.#his whole life is in shambles. the young hopes of the republic swear to uphold the ideals of it and root out corruption.#and the Team is there. gloating.#Sophie fakes her death again and Palpatine has a public meltdown about this random pantoran woman who's supposed to be dead#none of these are serious ideas yet I'm just spitballing. but they could be.#im gonna call this#let's go steal a republic au#because none of my tags have yet been the actual name of the fic#and that's not gonna change now
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
my soul will be judged
#mine#was playing beegee3 honor mode tonight and i was trying the exploit to get voss's epic OP sword in act 1#(dont get mad at me for cheesing it's NOT a bug so it's allowed by my personal rules)#and ummm. well#it didn't go well...and i may have...taken actions that led to the bad save NOT being saved and becoming canon so to speak...#IN MY DEFENSE. number 1 my party did not wipe/die in battle. there was no TPK#which would obviously be grounds for deleting the run#number 2. i was following a guide and the guide was poorly written and lacked detail#and of course number 3. it's my game i can do anything i want and this certainly isn't the worst any HM player has ever done#so no one get mad at me...#to be honest though at the start of this i never expected myself to be very morally scrupulous about it#im mostly just doing it for the dice and the achievement (i want all 54)#i do want it to be...you know. honorable. but at the same time i really don't like this minmax powergamer playstyle...#there are some things about HM that i like but many that i do not. the single save being the biggest one#im a savescummer 4 lyfe#also as a further point to my defense. in the original bad timeline laezel (core party member) DIED and the game FULLY WOULD NOT LET ME#REVIVE HER. not with a scroll or with withers. so thats bullshit#anyway. we soldier on. goblin camp's up next
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why do I only get the motivation to draw when it's my fucking self set bedtime?
#king posts#ugh...#I want to push it back and hour#but like I don't because I have tried and then it becomes ''well 11 is a weird number. let's just go to bed at 12 ^w^''#and then I FUCKING DON'T#so it HAS to be 10 HYUJFKDSC#my brain is faulty and I have to live with it and abide to what it wants#anyways goodnight YUHJC
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wanted to make a cleaner summary of last week's classes and also review the classes I have this week since the material is already uploaded beforehand but I was feeling so horrible throughout the day that when I sat down I was just gonna look at the ones for tomorrow but I think I'm just gonna go to bed because I just gave my little numbers game a few tries and not even the joy of tribial elementary school-level math games is bringing my brain cells and/or full sentience back
#diary#accessing it through the CMD thing and not just running it from the IDE made me realize a few things about it though so I'll hav#I'll have to maybe jot them down somewhere when I'd normally just be rly excited and try to fix them straight away like I am truly fucked r#I do wanna make an eng version of it sometime soon so I can share it even tho it's literally the simplest little thing. it's fun if you're#an easily amused nerd that loves playing with numbers in a truly useless manner. if that makes sense#also very obviously text-only I am NOT torturing myself with any graphics of ANY kind rn#it closes immediatly as they do and also when it comes to having double/triple digit starting numbers it becomes a lot less fun I think tho#though I haven't used it much with those yet#I still wanna figure out a way of making it better when it comes to 2/3 digit starters. and my original idea included maybe keeping track#keeping track of how many steps you took even between different rounds but I made the simplest version for now. I also think making like a#''this was the least amount of steps possible!'' type thing would be very very cool but that is FAR too big brained for me rn#cause I can figure out how to do the record keeping thing but that last one is like. let's stop talking for a little while.................#oh but adding an actual interface sounds so fun even though I have very little clue on how to do that rn I could probably STOP typing becau#because I can feel my stupid ass self start getting excited about this which will make it so I start working on it instead of going to bed#NO. DOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! auhgh............ oh man I had a lame joke to make but I completely forgot what it was#I have coding class tomorrow in which I normally just do the exercises as fast as possible before playing around but the only Python editor#I could find installed on the school computers was Visual Studio Code and I have no clue how to use that shit like I don't need so many#so many buttons. probz. OKAY GOODNIGHT
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#no but what is it with people that feel entitled to have you do your job for them for free#like this dude that mind you is not even my friend has called me ten times since yesterday#there was this unknown number texting me on wsp saying hello and then wouldn't stop calling me throughout the day so i just ignored it#and then at night my cousin texted me saying that x person was trying to contact me and said i wouldn't answer#and i was like what do they want#and she was like 'legal advice' LIKE ??????#i'm IN THE PROCESS of becoming a lawyer i'm not even one yet meaning i can't act like one and get paid for it#and sure i do help my friends and family with legal stuff for free bc i love them but like. people who aren't close to me i don't really#have to???#it takes actual time out of my day to help them out#and to have this guy who just called me AGAIN today and now texted me like 20 minutes ago telling me to pick up my phone i mean???????#idk what you need but either be willing to pay me or get an actual lawyer my dude i'm not obliged to do shit for you#i mean if he just texted me it'd be /fine/ ig but it's the fact that he's demanding to talk on the phone with me when i have anxiety and#hate talking on the phone#like just tell me what you want and go. i'll see whether i can help you out or not but just stop spamming meeeeeeee#i'm deleting this later i just needed to let it out JDÑSJDÑS i don't even wanna check my phone anymore lmao
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
I get very tired of dealing with people who are so busy being "practical" that they're just totally prescriptive
I tend to be, I think, a fairly pragmatic person. Like most years I spend about... maybe $50 on myself for the whole year (this year is going to be a bit higher, but there's also specific utility to what I'm spending it on). I tend to not bother buying myself snacks, cause I know I'm mostly hungry, and if I'm hungry real food is a better deal (I sadly tend to fail to get ahold of the real food either)
My point is that I tend to be very goal oriented (not in a ladder climbing way, in a I set goals and then work towards them kinda way), I tend to be very focused on what will push my situations into being sustainable, I tend to look for high efficiency, low cost, long term solutions
I was... I was talking to that friend I'll say is Dr Jekyll and Mr Dumbass (I was more trying to talk to my dad, but they were both there). It was definitely Mr Dumbass today
For one thing, he was already saying a bunch of really fucking dumb shit where... it's so stupid I'm not even going to repeat it, where it's like the answer for why we don't do that is because it's obviously a moronically stupid idea on top of being immoral, and also totally ineffective you dipshit
So I already wasn't in the mood for him
Then, while talking about visiting my grandma, I mention how in order to start cooking I need sharp knives, none of my knives are sharp (cause my mom's a fool and dulls them all), and how it would really help if I could just take a knife from my grandma since she doesn't cook anymore and just... keep it as my personal knife that I keep sharp
(I can't do this, cause my grandma is... bug fuck crazy, and legit believes that if you gift someone a knife they'll kill people with it which like... where do you even get that idea, like she has literally said before that she'd give money to buy a knife but wouldn't give one as a gift... what?)
Anyway, Mr Dumbass starts going on about how I can just buy a new knife, and it's like no... in your quest for objective practicality you've lost all pragmatism
I don't need to buy a new knife, I need to learn to sharpen knives which... which I just have a bit of a block on cause I've had trouble figuring out how to sharpen stuff so far (I've come to suspect that which of the hard and soft stones you use first and second isn't intuitive and I've been trying to hone with the sharpening stone and sharpen with the honing stone)
Like... to get mean for just a slight moment, shut your fool mouth, you've got more money than I've ever even touched, and while you were poor at one point when you were younger you've clearly forgot, and not everyone can just buy stuff
Also you're saying a bunch of dumb shit tonight with such confidence and it's pissed me off
He's capable of being a very very smart and compassionate person, and then other times he's a damn fool, and far too often he... he talks about practicality without actually understanding how to be practical
Being practical requires working in the confines of reality
...I don't know, I don't think I have all the words I need to explain what I'm saying, but the point is he's annoyed me and people who act like him annoy me where it's like... nothing matters in the end other than if you actually solve something
You can talk all day about what someone "should do", but what matters is what they will do
So it gets frustrating talking with my family with him cause he has all this ideas where it's like... that functionally won't work, and like some of his great ideas are how I can just wait for my grandma to die and get the knife then and it's like... yeah... but I need a knife now dummy, and I have knives, and which is more useful?
Dropping a pretty penny on a new knife, or finishing learning a skill I really fucking need badly and that makes it so I can sharpen things for next to free forever?
...I'm just tired of having to do everything myself and getting no help, that's all. How about you shut your fucking mouth, stop trying to offer advice that's worse than my plans I'm already slowly turning the gears on making happen, and just let me bitch about my idiot relatives?
Laughing at this fool antics when he chooses to do that, legitimately is more helpful than any attempts to help
#last two paragraphs are things that sadly a lot of people could learn#sometimes you need to shut your mouth and just listen#and this is why I have my no advice without action policy#if the rolls were reversed; I'm not willing to suggest someone buy a knife unless I'm willing to pay for it#most I'll ever do is something like say 'Just wondering if this is something you've already tried'#like know someone who go hacked here; and I just asked if they're running two factor authentication now cause if not it might help#like that's the outside amount of advice I'm willing to offer without action#because it acknowledges that they may have already thought of it; and it more just tries to float an option than it does suggest shit#honestly... I think I'd be less annoyed if it was like 'what about buying a new knife?; rather than 'you should buy a new knife'#advice in the form of a question makes for a dialogue rather than dictation#lets the other person just explain why something won't work if they've already considered it#like in this case... money; way rather just sharpen shit and get to spend money on food instead of a knife#like... this is the crux of what I complain about with my grandma; that groceries are my number one desire with money#are you my grandma? suggesting that I just flippantly spend money once it becomes something you'd want to spend it on?#...and the answer honestly is that yeah that's usually how people are#they can laugh off wasting money on shitty over priced clothes; but when it's what they like spending on that's what everyone should do#...maybe I fail at it; but I try not to do that#try to just be a back up to people and support them in whatever matters to them#and once again; only offer advice when I'm actually willing to do something like drop the money on getting them the thing I think they need#eh... I don't want to share the other dumb shit he was saying cause... dear god#edgy stoned dipshit talk; you know?#framed as actionable policy#good guy; helped me move shit up (I mostly needed a driver) but... utter fucking ass too much of the time#there's reasons we're not closer
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#hm actually that first tag may be triggering or smth so let's get this under the cut#how many tags does it take to do that i wonder#shall we try three and hope they will be enough or#i am very. thoroughly. sick. of wanting to die#it's just so EXHAUSTING guys#usually im more distractable than this but noooo it's been most of today#just there. existing. as a appealing possibility.#doesn't help that i have an imagination neither#so many possibilities! ha. (<- bitter)#tw suicide#tw sh#and i literally lost count of the number of times i harmed today. that hadn't happened yet#i did have two meals today! which probably didn't help the harming situation. but a net win imo#im just. sick of not being normal.#and i should care more than i do about harming. logically i know i should. but i don't care largely and i barely feel the pain.#there was one i thought briefly might send me to hospital but the bleeding did stop with pressure so it was fine#unfortunately one of my regular coping mechanisms/stims (playing the piano a particular song/way/whatever) is apparently becoming a trigger#for harm? i dont know why but this is very inconvenient probably if i care#my brain is a very messed up place to be in at the moment. i wish to check out of it permanently if you please#i did think for a while i might have to call lifeline again but the worst passed#and ha! when my parents ask how im going i am vague adn they think im fine#in reality? i am psychologically drowning and getting stressed over the fact that they rae returning home soon#realistically i will probably be safer as a result but also more stresses on all sorts of different points#woot woot#.....tomorrow's sunday oh no#if im feeling then like i am now i will not be able to go to church because i will not be safe to drive.#joy comes in the morning? i hope?#if i cannot go to church my brother will probably come and stay with me. don't know if i want that or if i don't. would probably entail#telling him about the fact that ive attempted and also been harming. which i keep chickening out of telling him. yay.#if you get this far anyway yes you can probably tell i need prayers.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
*blows a kiss to my computer* this one's for you, Aldith Sereda Wilhelmine Aeducan, kinslayer & kingmaker
#dragon age#more vague shit about my cracked au in the tags#if I got a nickel everytime I was instrumental in crowning a king I'd have two nickels#thinking about my multi-warden au and its gotten way out of hand#might seperate the tags into a coherent post at some point#In this au all warden origins (with some changes) live and make it to osagar - Mahariel is the 'canon warden' so to speak#Aeducan and Brosca escape the deep roads together bump into Bodahn and Sandal and head south with them.#Hereswith Brosca is her new second by default#“There is not a dwarf in Orzammar not born into a Darkspawn siege – this war is in our blood as surely it will be in the stone when we die”#let's be real this blight never ended for the dwarfs - start numbering them infront of dwarves and you'll get spat at girlie#just because the darkspawn stopped bothering you surface chumps doesn't mean they stopped for the Stone's sake#Aldith supporting Bhelen's claim to the throne for Hereswith and so he owes her one#this au I'm never going to write is ridiculous though - I've practically co-opted the Wit from RotE -I mean in my canon playthrough also oo#Amell in this is a Blood Mage/Spirit Healer and I have decided to fuse a the spirit of Valour and the Desire demon at Redcliffe#tempered by Amell to be Sacrifice rather than Conquest - canon who I don't know her?#Oh and Aeducan is literally a Spirit Warrior because I think it's pretty dope concept - she also becomes Queen of Ferelden btw#learning things through the song - of wardens long fallen to the taint#you know the fereldens would jump at the chance to hold something over orlais#and how better to do that with a marriage alliance with the only legal producer of lyrium? Loghain weeps with joy from his grave#I've decided completely against canon to make Cousland a warrior/mage fusion bc it's a lawless wasteland meet my Templar/Battlemage#is she /you know/ fade sensitive?#Surana is a shapeshifter/arcane warrior/entropy mage - man cannot conjure anything for shit#crows (actual birds not zevran) love him - templars fear him#Reaver Beserker Mahariel ankle deep in a Morrigan romance#Vunora Tabris is also here with Slyfoot the wolf
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I finally saw the cutscene of Karlach visiting her parents' graves with Null and I've had tadpoles about it all this time
#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#OC: Null Number#category 7 autism event in the tags incoming#imagining Null visiting his own family's graves that night#he'd told they're buried in the city graveyard but didn't tell where#so late that night Astarion notices him slinking out of camp and decides to follow him out of curiosity#and what does he find but Null standing at three graves in a line for his parents and sister#and it's the most heartbroken Astarion's ever seen him#he's sobbing so hard no noise is even coming out aside from shaky breaths and the occasional whimper#repeating to himself what he said to Karlach about becoming soil‚ water‚ and air‚ and how we don't die‚ we change#and now Astarion understands why Null looked so distant in his gaze despite the warmth of his smile when talking with Karlach#he didn't even approach like he planned to he just left and let Null be alone#his entire plan fell apart seeing how broken Null was and he had no clue what he could even say in that moment#sorry I'm exploding about this because Null's been raw about his family's deaths his entire life#and the Emperor's first meeting with him being in the form of his sister didn't help AT ALL#like his main goal in life alongside getting his wings and power back by breaking the curse he's under is finding solace in their deaths#he just wants peace and for them to rest in peace knowing he loves them and still lives for them#anyway#sad fae that's cursed to live as a drow hours again I'm so fucking happy I made Null in this game and made an AU for him
4 notes
·
View notes