king-of-havoc

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distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save me distraction save m

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you're fucking a clown he's balls deep ready to cum and you tell him to pull out but his clown dick is comically long and it takes him a solid minute of yanking and coiling it like a rope to get it all out

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i don’t know about you guys but the main reason i am still on tumblr in 2024 is BECAUSE it is the most cloutless least influential social media app out there and that is the experience i am after. absolutely none of this will ever translate into significant attention or real success in my life and that is so beautiful.

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PROMOTE TRANSGENDERISM PROMOTE TRANSEXUALITY

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bug sex

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things you need to read 100000 times per day when you're working

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Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter

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source post.

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text from my dad (2021) - my dad

“i’ll admit that my main problem with this is that i haven’t asked”

submitted by @cornandcoconutsoup​

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my mom uses sweet bro and hella jeff magnets to tell me if the dishes are clean or dirty

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Enemies who experience an inescapable horror together and can't imagine being without one another again

The one you hated just days before becomes the one you need curled against you to feel safe, the back of your neck now a hearth for his fiery breath while he sleeps. Flames that once terrified you have become a comfort, a barrier from evil that wishes for your shared demise.

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Or So He Heard

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this has reduced me to tears