#don't get me wrong i love that it's finally getting the recognition it deserves after all these years

[darklight-owl]

In case you're wondering why all my 31 Minutos posting is in spanish it's because if one person mistakes me for an english speaker who is only now getting into the show because of That One Youtube Video I don't think I'll be able to recover.

[nethhiri]

Chapter 60: 2 Eyes, 2 Furious

Sorry this took so long, everyone! I've been incredibly busy at work and have a lot of presentations coming up, so it may be slow for a while. Thank you so much for sticking around and being patient <3

Warnings: Sexual violence, torture, gore, body horror

The second you got your full vision back, you knew exactly what you wanted to do. It was exactly what you promised to do. Warthin was waiting for you with bated breath in the brig and you didn't want to keep him waiting much longer. You wouldn't want him to forget how much he should fear you. Kid was reluctant to release you, finally fully absolved of his asshole crimes. You could tell he really wanted you all to himself after being shut out of your company for a while. You had missed him, too, as much as he angered you. While you enjoyed being alone in the dungeon, free to do whatever fucked up thing your heart desired without judgement, it did get lonely. And you did want some recognition for your excellent torturing skills. 

"Captain?"

"Yes, doll?"

"Would you like to come downstairs with me?" 

"I thought ya'd never ask." Kid grinned and set you down on the deck. "Meet ya in five minutes."

You continued to the brig without him, wide smile creeping across your face. It was going to feel so good to watch those fucks squirm with both of your eyes. You kicked open the door to the brig, sauntering in with wicked thoughts brimming from your mind. You paced back and forth waiting for Kid, grabbing a cat o' nine tails off the wall. You may as well warm up while you waited. Warthin was still on his hands and knees in the position you had left him in. His back was a canvas begging to be painted red. Some days, you thought about trying to erase the memories of your captivity. If you did that, however, you wouldn't have the fuel to dole out the retribution these people deserved. 

"None of you noticed my new eye. I'm offended." You slapped the handle of the nine tails in the palm of your hand. "Today, I thought we could start with some light whipping, then move on to couple's therapy, then finish up with group brutality. Any thoughts, questions, concerns? No? Good."

For the better part of a  half-hour, you introduced the cat o' nine tails to Warthin's back, admiring the criss-crossed welts and lacerations that bloomed across his skin. Where the fuck is he? Kid was sure taking his time. Maybe he had gotten called away to take care of something. They had been talking about some abandoned island they'd heard about recently. It was probably something about that. Warthin's whimpering and sobbing brought overcame your thoughts. With one last, hard, lash, you left him to leak tears and blood onto the floor. The precious few marines you had left were very nearly broken. Their faces were fully drenched in dread and dripping with misery. Only the tiniest glimmer remained in their eyes, and you would make sure it was snuffed out.  

You put your full body into their flogging. The sharp points on each end of the whips were invisible as they whipped through the air and the fleshy, wet impact was satisfying to your ears, though you wish you could hear more of it through their complaining. By the time you were out of breath, Kid still wasn't there and you felt like that was enough of a warm up. It was fine to switch your schedule around. You paced the wall of prisoners, sticking your fingers into their wounds while you thought about how you were going to do this. Warthin was in perfection position already. As promised, everything they did to you was going to be done to them.

"I hope you've all decided to cooperate." You bent down and jerked Warthin's head back by his hair, hissing in his face. "Aren't you excited? What's wrong?"

"P-please. Don't do this. Kill me fifty, no, one thousand more times but d-don't do this."

"I'm confused. You seemed to love it a few weeks ago." When he didn't reply, you continued, "Oh! I get it! You don't like being on the receiving end. Hold on. Let me check to something." You addressed the marines strung up on the wall, pointing at them as you spoke. "Remember when I said you needed to choose to fuck him or get fucked? Did anyone choose to get fucked? No?" You turned attention back to Warthin. "Yeah... unfortunately it seems like that's too fucking bad." You slapped him on the cheek and grinned. "I don't enjoy doing this, so you know. But I will enjoy your suffering." 

The marine that seemed to have something against Warthin would be first. You took him from the wall and shackled him behind Warthin, with room to move. The one that won your little race went in front. The last remaining marine had a very special job. You had pruning shears for him to use later. They were a little rusty, probably not sharp, and had dried blood in the crevices. Warthin could dish it out but he couldn't take it. Suddenly, his manhood left his body and turned him into a sniveling bitch. So he would be taken like a bitch and you would have his manhood permanently removed. 

"I want him in tears." You gestured for them to begin.

When you said you didn't enjoy doing this, it was the truth. It made you feel like a hypocrite in some respects. You were true to your word, however, and stuck to your "eye for an eye" ideology. Warthin deserved to feel everything that you had gone through. Maybe he would feel even a sliver of remorse for everything he had done if he knew how much pain it caused firsthand. Judging from his screams, he was learning. Soon, even his screams were muffled and occasional gagging replaced them. 

It took them a minute to get started. Something about raping their superior had them shy. Funny, it didn't seem to stop them when it was you. A little persuasion helped them get into the mood, that and you manipulating them with your devil fruit. They would probably last a few hours, again thanks to your devil fruit. While they weren't grateful in the beginning for that, they were after you told them the first one to finish would win a unique prize. They knew by now that your promises were never good. Honestly, you got bored pretty quickly since you weren't the one directly inflicting pain. 

"Tell me where to find Von Kossa and I'll make it stop," you addressed Warthin.

He didn't have an answer for you.

"Every time you refuse to answer, I'll make his dick bigger and your asshole smaller. So tell me what I want to know."

Warthin was struggling to stay conscious, or more likely, trying to retreat into the recesses of his mind. Something you were quite familiar with, thanks to him. 

"Where is he?"

He was still present, but gave no answer. 

You followed through with your threat, causing the marine fucking his ass to wince and a despair-filled wail to come from Warthin. "Tell me," you commanded him. 

This went on a few more times before he crumbled. He started to say something, but there was a cock in the way, so you paused the mouth fucker and allowed Warthin to speak.

"I d-don't know where..." He paused to retch. "...he is." He saw the displeasure cross your face. "BUT! Hang on!" He weakly held his hand out in the universal gesture to stop. "Your ship. I can t-tell you where it is." 

"Go on."

"Gomori Island."

"Okay." You clapped your hands. "Continue."

"BUT I TOLD YOU SOMETHING."

"And? That's not what I asked for, is it?" 

"B-but it's your ship!"

There was still a part of you that longed for your ship deep down. "This is my ship." Not literally of course, but this was your home now. "Anyway, continue."

"NO! N-." He was cut off by the resumed throat fucking.

That pissed you off. Your arms were folded and the more you thought about it, the harder your hands clenched into fists. Warthin thought he could buy you. He thought he was still in control of what was happening here. You walked closer to him and healed his back, leaving only fresh, unmarred skin. Other torturers probably wouldn't have the balls to put a blade in the hand of a prisoner. But you weren't like other torturers, nor were you ignorant enough to let a prisoner get the upper hand. You gave a small knife to the butt-fucking marine and pushed the face-fucking one away. The, you kicked Warthin in the head as hard as you could. You really wanted to bludgeon him to death at the moment. You settled for one solid kick.

"You must think I'm stupid," You sneered. "I always get what I want and you don't get to compromise with me. So tell me where Von Kossa is or keep your worthless mouth shut." 

A bright red and purple bruise bloomed on the side of his face and one of his eyes had blood leaking into the whites. The bones of his cheek and eye socket were collapsed, deforming his face. 

"You're going to write me an apology, and since you're otherwise occupied, Lieutenant Buttfuck over here is going to write it down for you. Start telling him what to write." You motioned to the knife and Warthin's back. "You, write. And don't stop fucking him."

Between the kick in the head and his asshole ripping, Warthin could barely focus on thinking of an apology. Several times he had to restart because his buddy's handwriting wasn't legible. It ends up taking quite a long time. At least this was less boring than before, and maybe now you would have something worth mailing to the marines. Something like this might force Von Kossa out since it was essentially a written confession implicating him. Would it be like kicking a bee's nest to taunt the marines this way? Probably, but the idea brought a smile to your face. If they didn't already know you were alive, they would. 

While they were busy doing that, you didn't want the other two to miss out on any fun. That wouldn't be fair. You wished Kid would show his face. It was tiring having to torture four people simultaneously by yourself. You really were an artist, a director. A director of the most gruesome play on a private stage. The other two, you decided, would be sewn together in a sort of ouroboros sixty-nining situation, constantly choking and gagging but unable to pull away. They rolled around on the floor, desperate to find a position that offered any relief. You had to stomp them or kick them away a few times when they almost interrupted your other venture. When your written apology was finished, you kicked your prisoner away from Warthin, dick popping out of Warthin's ass with a wet popping sound. With a wave of your hand you incapacitated him with the exception of his arm and his cock. 

"Cut your cock off. You don't need it anymore."

He hesitated, eyes wide. 

"Cut it off or I'll make it explode. No. I'll make it implode. That's right. Implode." You didn't actually know what that entailed. Something like the penis involuting back inside his body or folding in on itself you imagined.

He started sawing the thing off immediately, which was taking much longer than expected since all the letter carving dulled the blade. You were impressed that he held in his screams even a little bit. Not long after, he was spitting and screaming and wailing, cursing your name. While your wards were busy, you started meticulously skinning Warthin's back. If you could dry and tan the skin properly, it would look sick. You couldn't very well send it fresh or the rot would mess the words up. 

Engrossed in your detailed work, you almost didn't see the door open. Kid stood in the doorway, taking in your activities. His expression ranged from shock to bewilderment to acceptance, all in swift succession.

"Where the fuck have ya been?"

"I was about to say the same thing!"

"Was waitin for ya in my cabin."

"I said- oh you thought downstairs meant-" You rolled your eyes. "You were waiting this whole time? It's been hours."

Kid scoffed. "I only waited like twenty minutes."

"So what were you doing the rest of the time?"

"Jerking off? Duh."

"It's been hours."

"I was edging in case ya showed up."

"There's something wrong with you."

Kid looked pointedly at what you were doing.

"What? This is my craft." 

"Jerking off is my craft." Kid noticed the two guys still struggling on the floor. "Nice."

This perked you up. "Do you like it?"

"Ya know I like when ya do fucked up shit." Kid's eyes drifted among your victims. "Damn, did ya leave anything for me?"

You freed the two marines who were attached mouth-to-dick with your fruit, separating them. They were in mostly good shape. "I thought we could try something new." 

"Oh fuck yeah! Like pegging?" 

"New torture. Torture." 

"So is that a firm no?"

You stared incredulously at him. "Do you think you could focus?"

"Whatever, doll." Kid huffed, coming over to pat your head. "What does yer little heart desire?"

You were finishing up removing the skin from Warthin's back. "Remember a while back, when I suggested that you could probably control blood?"

"Aye, that was right before we-"

"Yes. Right before that." You cut him off, not really wanting to share any of those details with the ears of prisoners. 

Kid's wide grin flashed. "I've been curious about that myself."

After you hung Warthin's skin up to dry, Kid and yourself put the prisoners back on the wall. You grabbed the dismembered... member, and shoved it into its owners mouth, not with your bare hand, of course. Then you gagged him, hoping he would slowly choke to death. You didn't forget to take the knife away from him either. Kid was exceedingly rough when he put Warthin back into the wall shackles, making sure his raw back was touching the rough wall as much as possible, and stretching his joints to their limits. Actually, you were certain his shoulders were dislocated. They were all screaming, yet you could mostly tune it out since you were so used to it. 

Starting simple, you put a small cut in one of the marines. The blood trickled out slowly. Kid tried to focus on feeling the blood, like how he could feel metal objects. It was a much fainter sense than he was accustomed to, yet he was certain he could feel it. Kid put all his effort into redirecting the drip horizontally, defying gravity. It paused for half a second, possibly moving almost indiscernibly to the right. Seeing this, Kid gained confidence that this was something he could do. If he could learn it, and control it, it would prove to be a very dangerous power. And he could keep his dick hard longer. This new thought motivated him. He wasn't even going to think about trying it until he was sure he wouldn't blow his cock off, even though he had some incredibly detailed plans for a mechanical replacement penis with a bunch of awesome attachments, including but not limited to, a flamethrower and nail clippers. If it ever came to that.

Whenever Kid got frustrated with his lack of progress, there were very stress-relieving meat punching bags ready to take his anger out on. All you did was heal them enough so that they would live, not live really, but so they would die differently later. You noticed that he would hit Warthin much harder than the rest of them. It was touching that he still harbored rage for him on your behalf. It must have been an hour before Kid managed to move a finger. After he moved the trickling blood stream, he graduated to trying to move blood still inside the person. He was stuck on moving the fingers ever so slightly. He couldn't do more than that.

"This shit is too fucking hard!" 

"Are you a quitter?"

"NO!" Kid growled. "What's the fuckin point? Yer power can do this!"

"What if I'm not around and you need to use it?"

"When are ya not gonna be around?!"

"I don't know! It's a hypothetical!"

"YER NOT LEAVIN MY SIGHT! Ya keep getting lost!"

"Technically, I was stolen."

"DON'T FUCKIN REMIND ME!" Kid turned his attention to Warthin, barely restraining himself from ripping him apart.

"I'm not planning on going anywhere." You put his attention back on his task. Maybe later you would let him have a turn with Warthin. It might be fun to watch Kid and Killer take their anger out on him.

Kid struggled for a while longer, getting more irritated with every passing second. You figured it might be like this. You could always take a break and try again some other time. No one can master a technique in a day. You suggested taking a break but he shot you down, now too stubborn to give up. Kid was predictable. As such, you thought of something that may help. 

"Hey."

"WHAT?!"

"If you can move his arm, I'll peg you."

Kid blinked and turned back to the marine. Without warning, the marine's arm popped off his body and flew around the room like an untied balloon, spraying blood over both of you. 

His amber eyes glanced at the stump of the marines arm and the lifeless limb on the floor. "HA! LET'S GO!" He ran and grabbed you around the middle, barreling toward the door.

"Wait! Wait." He set you down. "I almost forgot." You found the long gloves that were kept for messy situations and donned them. Then, you grabbed the pruning shears and held them over a flame until they glowed molten orange. This was meant to be done by the leftover marine since you didn't really want to touch Warthin's dick at all. It still made your skin crawl to think about. The pleasure of chopping his dick off and shoving it up his ass should really be yours and no one else's, however, so you made the sacrifice.

You imagined it would be one clean chop. To his dismay, it took several chops to get the thing off, quite a lot really. It just kept getting jammed between the blades, folding over them, instead of being cut, like when you cut plastic ties with dull scissors. The entire point of heating it was to cauterize the vessels so it didn't make him bleed out. That didn't really pan out since it cooled down over the period of cutting. You feigned an apologetic expression as you mangled it further. It looked like you stuffed firecrackers in one end of it by the time you had actually severed it completely, or maybe like a small dog had gnawed on it for a while. It mattered little what it looked like because you held it in your fist and punched it straight up his asshole, reaching as far as you could go and jamming it there. The disgust hit later. In the moment, it felt good to hurt him. You wanted to rip him apart from the inside. You wanted to shove both your arms up his ass and tear him in two. And you could probably do it. But it was almost time for dinner and you didn't want to spoil your appetite. 

Tag list: @bbnbhm @nocturnalrorobin @wgwingguns

[legyt]

Reading Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye (MTMTE) #16

(Been busy with prepping up for New Years, but Im back. Ive read up to #22, so this is just me going back to a specific part)

This part in particular got me HOOKED deeper into Chromedomes character, even more so when I first found out abt him being a mnemosurgeon and a former partner of Prowl.

Its knowing the fact that hes had ppl lik Rewind with him before, and the way Brainstorm implies that Rewind isnt his first conjux endura, and that perhaps the reason why hes 'born dry' of innermost energon to even offer Rewind any back when he was critically injured, was that he gave so much of it away that he just - ran out, zip, nada. He just, ran dry after giving so much of it away to ppl he loved, that had died and he mourned for.

Until. Until he made himself forget them, removing the connections he had with these ppl so that it wont hurt anymore. He knows its easy to get rid of the hurt and pain. Just lik that, a needle stab to the neck, and itd b lik he didnt just lose someone hed love.

He gave so much of himself that hes got nothing left to give, but in the face of living with the pain of losing someone, he severs whatever remained of the ppl he once loved.

His memories of them, with them, and evrything abt them.

It was Brainstorm saying that, without a doubt, that "Yeah, you will cuz we had this conversation before" is what got broke me even more when I was reading it. It still does, because.

Brainstorm is telling him this as a friend, whos seen him end up making the same decision again and again.

Just. Imagine what it wouldve been lik the first time for Brainstorm to ask if Chromedome was doing alright after, but gets nothing.

No grief, no pain. Nothing. Not even recognition from Chromedome when he says their name, as if it meant nothing to Chromedome when Brainstorm knows it does. Its suppose to. And then thats when you realize what was done, what Chromedome did, and it was because it hurt too much for him that he made an 'easy' decision.

But cmon, lets b fcking honest, how tf is it easy to just, remove a person you loved so deeply from your memories and not find it hard?? Because u didnt want to feel the hurt, the pain, and the suffocating grief that came with losing that person.

"Your attention for a moment. This is Rewind, showing you edited footage from my database. I've probably got nought point eight seconds before game over so hear me out! I've always been terrified that you'd die before I did, because you and me apart strikes me as intensely wrong. So promise me something: Be brave. Be strong. And keep going without me. And another thing: No more injecting - it will kill you. And remember: You deserve to be happy... The new institute was the old you. You're a better person now - stubborn and frustrating, but wonderful! And to think - I will never see you again. One more thing - one last thing - because I don't say it enough: I love you." - Rewind (TF MTMTE #16)

YALL MUST UNDERSTAND

THIS FINAL MESSAGE WAS THE FINAL NAIL TO MY COFFIN

I cried.

Simple as that.

I bawled my fcking eyes out so bad, I layed on the couch at 2 AM, being a sobbing messy wreck.

I was shocked at first, and it didnt hit me immediately, but when this page came next I started crying.

Then after I closed my tab and just, layed there listening to sad music as I fcking cry.

I cannot express how much this unraveled me. BUUUUT, I can lay out why it made me feel... why it made me feel.

To start with: Chromedome making a different choice this time, because Rewind told him he deserved to be happy, that hes different to who he was before - someone better.

And I think, part of it was because Rewind made him promise to keep going without him, to stop injecting with his needle fingers.

LIK BRO, I-

All that and in the end, Rewind tells him:

"I love you".

BUT OOOOOOOH

ohhhh theres another one I wanna talk abt...

"You deserve to be happy... The new institute was the old you. You're a better person now - stubborn and frustrating, but wonderful! And to think - I will never see you again."

In this part, that specific page.

THE PARALLELS ARE PARALLELIIINGG 🙉

"You deserve to be happy..." It shows Drift walking out, cuz hes getting banished.

"The new institue was the old you." Gets hit, went down

"You're a better person now - stubborn and frustrating, but wonderful!" But Ratchet helps him up

"And to think - I will never see you again." Drift took a shuttle and left the Lost Light as an exile

PLS PLS PLSPLSPLS PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THINKING THIS

[thatgirl4815]

Ray's Feelings

Ray's process of falling in love with Sand has such nuance to it that I think gets horribly overshadowed by his actions alone, not their context. Yes, Ray mistreats Sand. Yes, Ray has a lot to apologize for. But I think Ray is a broken person who has a lot to apologize for because he's in a situation that he is grossly under-equipped, both mentally and emotionally, to handle.

@victorialovesstiles' post here includes a great discussion of the moment Ray becomes fully aware of Sand's feelings for him in Ep8. Up to this point, I don't think Ray tried to pin down exactly how he felt for Sand because the situation didn't necessitate it. He and Sand were "friends," and that label was always fine with Ray, until it wasn't enough anymore, until Sand couldn't put up with it. Looking back on all of this progression, I'd argue Ray has had feelings for Sand for as long as Sand has had feelings for him, but he hasn't been in a place to confront them the same way Sand has. It makes sense given that Sand is the one in the bad spot, watching Ray chase after Mew. If their situations had been reversed, I think Ray would've had to contend with his feelings much more directly much earlier.

Ray makes comments like this that point to the depth of his feelings, but he never truly vocalizes them outright until later in Ep9. Ray realizing how happy he is with Sand and admitting to that is the first step in the recognition of his true feelings, that he sees Sand as more than a good friend who takes care of him and just so happens to sleep with him.

Ray's feelings are strong, but they are also delicate, as demonstrated by the fight at Sand's apartment in Ep10. This dialogue in particular:

Ray thinks he deserves to be upset for having his emotions played with, which says more than anything how much Ep9 meant to him. It's also important in the context of money, because Ray's self-worth is so heavily influenced by what he can offer other people: if nothing else, he has always had his wealth to fall back on. And here is Sand claiming to love him, but all Ray can see is someone who accepted payment. Every conversation they’ve about the separation of feelings and money is being put into question.

At the end of Ep10, Ray echoes his dialogue in Ep8. I personally like that Ray makes a point of saying how happy he is with Sand; what stands out to me here is that Ray is confessing this to imaginary Sand, so he's technically only really admitting it to himself. He makes me happy and I keep screwing it up. He does care, and he's always cared, but I can't do anything but ruin it. I was made to ruin things. Those are all thoughts that seem to lay at the core of his dialogue at the end of Ep10.

I guess my main point here is that we witness Ray returning to this idea time and time again that when he's with Sand, he's truly happy. Sand sees beyond his problems, beyond the brokenness. Even with how complex their situation is, there's something so beautiful about that simplicity. Sand makes Ray happy. That’s what it’s always boiled down to.

"I know now that you want nothing from me" -> I have a feeling this entire speech from Ray is going to form a deeper trust between Ray and Sand. Ray knows now that Sand is true. He knows that he has overthought everything. The reason why Ray skews the situation with Sand is because Ray is so used to viewing himself in a negative light, but he was clinging to the hope that Sand didn't see him that way. Even when other characters insult Ray for his behavior (which isn't entirely undeserved), Sand was always there to explain why he was wrong, to encourage him to be better. When it's Sand, it's about growth, not just recognition.

The ending scene in Ep10 is such a catharsis because Ray is finally coming to terms with the fact that virtually all of the doubts and complexities surrounding his relationship with Sand were created by him. But Sand has always been true. Sand has always loved him. And now that he sees that, he knows just how important it is that he clings to that love and never lets it go.

[itsdelicates-blog]

Sleep Aid~ Vera Farmiga x Reader

summary~ you can't sleep, but vera is your sleep aid.

——————————————————————————

Grumbling in annoyance, I sit up in my bed and stretch my legs. Atleast a solid 1 hour and a half I've been trying to sleep with no luck at all. Huffing, I get out of bed and grab my fluffy blanket and throw it over my shoulders.

Grumpily, is walking downstairs, I poke my head around the corner of the living room, where Vera was quietly watching tv also scrolling on her phone. I make my way over to her and stand in front waiting for her to notice me. She looks up, confused as she thought I was sleeping.

"You okay hun?" she asks softly

I say nothing and simply open my blanket, making grabby hands. She shifts her position allowing me into her lap. I curl up on her lap and hold onto her tight feeling instantly better in her presence.

"What's wrong my love?" She inquires, rubbing my back gently with one hand, turning down the tv with the other.

"I can't sleep" I grumble into her chest "I've been trying for hours"

she begins gently rocking back and forth, "I'm sorry hun, come on sleep now"

Before long i find myself drifting off to the sound of her beating heart against my ear.

———————————————————————————

Vera debated on getting up, needing to put you to bed, but wanting to do so without waking you.

She finally decided that she too was a little tired and to get you to bed.

After shutting off the tv, she gently secured her hands under your thighs. Carefully standing up from the couch making her way to the bedroom doing her best not to wake her sleeping girlfriend. When she gets to the bedroom, she tries to lay you down without stirring you but fails. You barely opened your eyes "Don't leave" you barely whispered out.

Vera suppressed her chuckles, reassuring you "I'm not going anywhere, I just need to change and I'll be right back to snuggle up okay hun" you let out a big yawn and snuggle in further to your blanket. Soon, as promised she crawls into bed laying herself down behind you and wrapping her arms around your front to hold you close.

As you feel her slide in behind you, you stir a little and turn around to face her. You let out a few mumbled sounds and snuggle your face into her chest taking in her scent, settling yourself to sleep.

She kissed the top of your head and said a quiet 'I love you'

Together the two of you both drift off with a small smile on each of your faces.

———————————————————————————

first one!! I decided to make this book because this beautiful woman deserves more recognition xx (and because I'm in love with her but whatever) 🥰

If anyone has anyone requests feel free to dm them to me or comment here!

~lou 🧚

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

This may seem silly (sorry, please ignore me if you want), but something about the way I keep getting more and more TikToks talking about "how ugly Dabi is" gets on my nerves.

It just sounds ableist to me, like come on, the only reason they find him "ugly" is because he's full of burn scars if he only had a subtle one like Shoto they wouldn't be talking about it.

One of my oldest hit posts here on this blog talks about how even when these characters were fictional, you could still read all the ableism in the fandom from the way they talked about some of the LOV members.

I remember when jokes about Dabi being sooooo stinky were everywhere. When the fandom used to make fun of Tomura's unhygienic look. It's still so obvious when you think about how traditionally pretty heteromorphic characters are popular while massively important heteromorphic characters are just now getting the recognition they deserve.

Don't get me wrong, I think Hawk and Miruko are there exactly to be popular by their looks. They're drawn and written like that. It's nothing bad to love or admire them, okay? Nothing wrong with them being your favorites.

It's just that then people would ignore Spinner or Shoji. I'm happy that Shoji is more popular now and that Spinner is finally getting celebrated, but c'mon...

When it comes to Dabi, it's funny 'cause Horikoshi wants the readers to perceive him as handsome. You know it by the poses and certain highlights. He's also meant to look "creepy" because he's a villain! He should be scary, even uncomfortable to look at. Unnerving in the way your brain knows he should be falling apart, right?

But ugly???

We could have a conversation about real life beauty standards or bnha beauty standards, you know. I don't think it's necessary tho, since we all pretty much know that scars are portrayed as "attractive" as long as they are placed to please the eye and not depicted as something that is gonna make you uncomfortable because they are past wounds after all.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I guess, but it also bothers me when people would so easily joke about a character's beauty just to reinforce beauty stereotypes... It doesn't surprise me, when certain sides of TikTok are full of narrow-minded people...

Ugliness is 100% subjective and based on what people find attractive or not, anyway. I just hope you never see the "ugh Dabi is so gross looking" side of those arguments.

[respectthepetty]

Hey there. Hoping you're doing well. This is gonna sound random but I need a reason to watch He's coming to Me. I was looking at a list of all gmmtv shows and I've seen them all, except He's coming to me. And the weird thing is I don't have a reason. I adore Ohm, i don't particularly like Singto but that has never stopped me before. I have no problem with paranormal bl or sadness in bl. But for some reason every time I think I'm gonna watch it, I don't. I don't know if this has ever happen to anyone else but every once in a while this happens to me with a show or a film, like there's nothing wrong with it but I can't press play. And I have no idea why. I was hoping for some motivation I guess, just cause I'm a completionist and it's nagging me that I only have that one show left. Anyway, I'd appreciate your thoughts on this. (thanks for the space)

@nothingsbetterthancoffee, as a fellow completionist, I understand. Nothing can be left unfinished. No stone can remained unturned. No show can be left unwatched! But also, this show is a HOT TOP for me, so let me easily help you by giving you not one but TEN reasons to watch He's Coming to Me:

It has color-coded boys in love. <- The reason I showed up

Med/Mes is a stable, loyal, and intelligent Blue Boy who is happy (yellow) even in death. Thun is a Red Rascal who is spontaneous, energetic, and passionate. The love was always there, but seeing the color exchange always brings a smile to my face.

It's only eight episodes, and they are FREE!

Think of this as an eight-hour workday. Eat some breakfast, clock in to YouTube, watch five episodes (because after episode 5 is the PERFECT place to pause a la Bad Buddy), eat lunch, come back, watch the final three episodes, then clock out.

I know nobody wants to think of watching shows as work, but sometimes it helps to see the finish line at the end of day. Structure aids in productivity. And free is my favorite kind of watching experience, so it makes it even better.

The rooftop scene needs to be shown respect.

Mentioning Bad Buddy reminded me that He's Coming to Me's episode 5 rooftop scene walked, so Bad Buddy's episode 5 rooftop scene could run. Put some respect on this show's name!

The team behind it are elite professionals.

Aof, the director and an out gay man, has given us EVERYTHING! Bad Buddy, A Tale of Thousand Stars, Moonlight Chicken, and so much more. Rath, the cinematographer, has served us beautiful visuals every single time in Never Let Me Go, Dark Blue Kiss, and countless others. The screenwriter, Title, gave us the MaxTul vehicle MANNER OF DEATH. Imagine the Powerpuff Girls, but with film making. THAT'S the level of power behind this show.

The cast is stacked.

You already mentioned Singto and Ohm whose backs must hurt from carry the plot of so many shows on their shoulders, but the rest of the cast is A+ as well.

Sing and Chimon play the best friends, and they are the very BEST best friends. Sing has given us Todd(Black), and Chimon is about to embrace his sugar baby-ness in the upcoming Dangerous Romance. If they can stand next to THE Gun and the Perth, while holding their own, they deserve some recognition.

The supporting cast could beat every other supporting cast in a fist fight without breaking a sweat. We have Gunsmiles (who is no longer on the GMMTV's roster, sad times) who played in one of the best plots in 3 Will Be Free. We have Ampere who plays the office ally in GAP and La Pluie. Then we have Jum who only knows how to play the kindest mother from GAP, The Eclipse, and the upcoming Last Twilight. The twins, AJ and JJ show up, as well as Love who riled up enough people with her performance in Bad Buddy to get her own GL show!

Finally, we have the main ladies! Gigie makes you feel bad that this is a BL, so she won't get the guy, but that's because she is such a good character! Then there is Sine. I won't write much about her because I'm in love with her. I can't be rational about her. She never misses, and as a vegetarian, I would eat meat if she told me to. I. Love. Her.

The plot carries.

We all know shows that drag out the main plot for far too long. This show isn't one. It understands the assignment, and has a genuine plot beyond two boys falling in love. It also has twists and turns throughout that make sense to the original plot. Nothing seems disconnected, and everything seems logical in a show about ghosts.

The love is real.

For only eight episodes, in which one is mainly about a CHILD seeing ghosts, the way the love unfolds between the two leads is realistic. It is odd to see them first encounter each other when Thun is a kid, and Med is already a dead adult, but the way they come together as adults is touching.

The conflicts are believable.

Because of the way Med and Thun meet, and the overall plot, the conflicts are believable. They aren't just having issues because they don't want to communicate, or because it's the second to last episode. NO! One is a ghost who had his entire life ended, and the other is a young adult trying to figure out his life. The hesitation, the separation, and the conflicts in between are plausible.

The coming out SCENES are top tier.

If there is only one reason to watch this show, this is it! I don't need BLs to have a coming-out scene. Ever. If all of these shows existed in a magical bubble where being gay is the norm, I'd love it, but something about how Thun comes out in several ways, first to himself, then to his friends, and finally to his mom are all handled in the most endearing ways. These scenes healed my soul long before Be Loved in House: I Do hit me with its coming-out scene.

It has a happy ending.

Not only does it have a happy ending, but it has several happy resolutions for all the plots. It makes sure to wrap up the narrative while giving a little extra that completes the stories without feeling rushed or random.

Now that I've given you all these reasons, I hope you find it in yourself to finish the series. I know the first episode is rough to make it through, but once you get to the second half of episode 2, it should be smooth sailing.

As for me, I need to go write up He's Coming to Me (in Colors) post.

(thanks for the ask)

[best-supermassive-character]

‌Emily Davis x Jessica Riley

1. You can't tell me there's a straight explanation for their argument in the cabin. There's more sexual chemistry there than between Matt and Emily the whole game

2. bad bitches on some hot girl shit tragic best friends to enemies they just needed to kiss and make up

3. besties to girlfriends, can’t say more. they could bond again after traumatic experience why not

Ashley Brown x Chris Hartley x Josh Washington

1. personally?? personally. they just Are the best ship the seance scene single handedly conveys such an interesting and complex dynamic between the 3 of them in little under 10 minutes, tbh Every interaction they all have before shit goes down paints a picture of chemistry and friendship that could Very Easily transition into romantic it feels wrong to seperate the 3 of them into pairings... feels Unnatural

‌

Jamie Tiergan x Erin Keenan (Jerin)

1. my beloveds okay, i was in pleasant shock when saw a "young love" plot line (i didn't know anything about TDiM when i started it so didn't expect to get lesbians)

2. Jamie and Erin already have such a wonderful dynamic to begin with, having bounced around each other before taking the leap after enough flustering and teasing. They care so deeply for each other, and one losing the other is beyond heartbreaking. Erin even admits how much she doesn't want to lose Jamie, which makes my heart scream and yell and cry and oh my god

3. They're sweet, they're cute, they're canon! Supermassive finally gave us an official queer couple that can get together and Jerin deserves some recognition for that. <3

4. I mean, its Jerin! They're relationship is so cute and interesting even if they don't get together, its so clear when they don't they still very much love and adore each other and have so much more to say. And when they ARE together they are just so cute and gentle to each other. The perfect couple <3 (also they are a very rare non-white biracial lesbian couple that aren't toxic or weird so the representation they hold is just <3)

[walder-138]

Imagine: Vasili having a private conversation with Abbey about his messed up life

Be careful it's filled with ANGST.

"Sometimes.. love knows how it'll make you fall for it, and also, give you that everlasting pain that'll remain in your soul as a scar. It can cut you so deeply.. sharply, than a knife. That if you sew to suture the wound.. it'll never seem to remove from the image. It will keep on reminding you.. that you would have never been this miserable and unfortunate.. if you had never met them. Never.. just never.."

"I loved Helen.. I did.. very much." Vasili tried not to break in front of Abbey. "But I was a fool. A scoundrel. That I fell for her and did what was necessary to win her heart. Now you don't say I was brainwashed that's why I couldn't remember anything but the point is.." He looks at Abbey with a hopeless and shattered look. "Why did I let this all happen to me? What was inside of me that truly SAID you need to choose this very path? What made me choose Perseus? How did I get to Adler? Why? Because I did it myself, Abbey.. I.. I chose this. I subconsciously decided to make myself suffer for the wrong I did. I chose the wrong side.. and.. here I am. Look at me." He smiled half-heartedly, with his arms half raised.

"I was naive. Even after being this intelligent? This witty? I.. I can't seem to.. to.." His voice shivered. "Break through this very situation? Only if.. I could have used my brain, I would have never—" Vasili tried not to sob and covered his eyes with his arm, sniffing a bit. "But I deserve it, Abbey. Because I truly deserve it. I was away killing off people without realising I was now stuck with a bunch of manic criminals who wanted to destroy the world. But me? I couldn't even raise my voice.. that it also made me stop using my mind! For what it had been finally used for without my true consciousness!" He clenched his hair and sat down, in a defeated state.

"I'm tired, Abbey.. I'm so tired.." He sobbed as he rubbed his whole face to wipe off the tears. "The KGB thinks I murdered our own General.. I lost Dimitri.. Adler wished if I was dead anyway.. and sure I gave him a lesson back there and showed him my new form.. but.. even after all that.. I still feel.. lost. Like all my roads ahead of me have been blocked. And I see nothing but.. darkness.. and the light faded before I could ever reach myself through it.." He smiles sadly. "Tells a lot.. maybe if.. Adler shot me back at the cliff.. all this suffering would have ended. And I would be at ultimate peace.. a-am I right, Abbey?"

STOP IT KHUSHI. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. STOP IT. YOU BETTER BE PAYING FOR MY THERAPY AFTER THIS CAUSE GIRL IM SOBBING. IM IN YOUR WALLS NOW 😭😭😭 I WILL GET BACK AT YOU FOR THIS! JUST YOU EFFING SEE. I CANT FUCKING STAND THESE TWO

SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE!

Abbey reached out, almost about to put her hand on Vasili’s shoulder, but pulled away before it could make contact. Instead, Abbey took a deep breath. She was at a loss of words, tears welling up in her eyes. After a moment of silence, she swallowed and spoke.

“Don’t say that, Vin—Vasili.” She mentally cursed herself for that mistake.

“I know you’re tired, and you’re angry, and you’re hopeless, and you feel like everyone in the world hates you and is out to get you, but wallowing in your own self loathing… you’re gonna end up wasting your life away. The paths aren’t blocked by some other entity, Vasili, you’re blocking them.”

“Wasting away means they won. That they got rid of you without even trying. Adler and Park, the rest of them responsible for what happened to you, That’s what they want- it’s what our governments do. They lie, manipulate, screw your brain up beyond recognition, then make you blame yourself for cracking under circumstances nobody could withstand.” Abbey’s voice was quiet, but there was a sharp edge to her words. Her anger, though subtle, was still evident behind the words, albeit not towards Vasili.

Noticing that she was tense, her fist were clenched, and was ranting, Abbey stopped to take a breath. Abbey’s demeanor softened as she took a seat next to Vasili, taking in his defeated expression. She gently removed his hands from his face and held onto them as she continued to speak.

“Vasili, I lo- I care about you. It’s hard for you to believe, I know, but I’m not asking you to. You’ve had every opportunity to kill me, you didn’t. You could’ve sent us all to Duga, you didn’t.”

“What I’m saying is, you’re not a bad person. You’ve done unforgivable things in the past, I refuse to put you on a pedestal, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of doing good.”

Abbey sighed, and held onto his hands tighter.

“If you ever feel like you’re alone or don’t have a place to go, you can always stay here. I don’t need a warning, and you don’t need to talk to me if you don’t want. I can sleep on the cot and you can take the air mattress; the cats might jump on you in the night so I’d keep that in mind. Jazzy and Blue expect you to feed them at dawn.” She chuckled, before letting go of Vasili’s hands.

“They love you, the cats. They really do.” Something we have in common.

Abbey fades out of existence. Bro’s hallucinating 😭😭😭

[redge]

【OSHI NO KO】 Chapter 155

I was supposed to add these thoughts to this thread I posted on X but I don't want to make multiple posts anymore so here we go.

The cover page

Would you look at that cover. 😍 It's really bizarre to me that these two ladies are being pit against each other on the other side of the fandom but then in the OnK universe, though they see each other as rivals, they don't necessarily hate each other. I really don't get the root cause of the word wars 😅 (didn't realize that I forgot to include the cover when I posted this haha)

Hikaru Kamiki

"As if he'd become empty"

Oh the heartbreak 154 gave me. Had this man met an adult who could have guided him, things would have turned out differently. But it's too late to dwell on the past.

This statement from Hikaru makes me believe more on my analysis that 【OSHI NO KO】 is a documentary about Ruby with the interviews done by Hikaru Kamiki, including that 【mother】 version from Ai.

Also, when Ruby bursted out when Kamiki left, I think that's a proof that Ruby was really not oblivious who their father was.

Miyako loving the twins the way that they never experienced from their own mothers

Miyako finally got the recognition she deserves. 🤧 People might think that the build up of the revenge is comparatively pale to its conclusion but I think putting Miyako at the end of it is the best thing to end that revenge.

In the course of the manga when Ai died, we only saw Miyako as their manager but we haven't seen enough of her as a parent of the twins. Chapter 155 gave us that. Miyako never stopped Ruby and Aqua on whatever business they are on but she's always there, ready to welcome them home and fill them in with food on the table. That after a hard long day, these twins will be welcomed by a mother's love. It's something Gorou did not experience because his mother died from his birth. It's something Sarina did not experience because her mother didn't care about her. It's something they could have had as Aqua and Ruby only if Ai didn't die that early. This revenge started as early as chapter 10. Interesting too that on the same chapter, Miyako offered the twins if they want to be her children for real.

Miyako: Your mother will only be Ai-san, I know. You don't have to think of me as a mother. But I do think of you as my children.

And if you're given this love, even the strongest feeling of pain and suffering that has been the root of the revenge can slowly be healed through time. Because when you forgive, you don't do it for the person who wronged you. You do it for yourself. With this, Ruby's dilemma in chapter 147 "to forgive or not to forgive", we finally know Ruby's choice. And now, we're off to see Ruby fulfilling her mother's unfinished dreams.

Nino

My initial reaction when I read chapter 132 was that I didn't see that coming but it totally makes sense. Makes sense that Nino and Kamiki know each other. Makes sense that Nino feels that way as a B-Komachi member. And now that I read chapter 155, it also makes sense why of all the filming in the movie, Aqua was seen observing that fight scene between Ai and Nino. It was probably at this point that he's getting suspicious of her. That his initial thought that "it was probably not a B-Komachi member" was wrong after all. Kana Arima's portrayal of Nino made perfect sense because that hate and jealousy is crucial to understand what happened to Ai. Even that haircut of Akane in 155, while others associate it with becoming her own self again, I think it was again to understand a character: Nino. Believe me, when I saw that haircut from the leak, I know it reminded me of someone but I can't just pull it off. Others say it's the same hairstyle as Kana, but Akane's haircut in chapter 155 is much shorter. When the chapter was officially released, I realized that what I really thought of upon seeing that haircut was Nino. And Aqua telling that to Akane, getting surprised when he first saw Akane with that haircut means he caught on that too. Remember that Akane, throughout the manga, has been presented as someone who immersed herself into people to understand them more. She did it to understand Kana. She did it to understand Ai. And now she's doing it again to understand Nino.

There are more questions in my mind for every chapter that answers my previous questions and I just cannot wait to be enlightened by the end of the manga. (Please Aka-sensei I beg you let's finish this soon 🥲)

[llondonfog]

My bro showed me this and I laughed, hope it makes you laugh too.

https://youtu.be/Dm2qng5aWnM?si=T0uh6sbnz3ebnpEJ

https://youtu.be/8YqGSQCwmDs?si=hyEytjBr4G4J2Uzp

Also, please share with me some of those darth vaders raising Luke stories, they sound so sweet.

Have you ever read Darth Vader and son? Or Are You Scared Darth Vader?? Both are funny and cute. (Both are children’s books but I love them and have them in my bookshelf. 💚)

Hope you feel better Lettie 💞🌺

ljdfaskjkdsfl thank you for sharing these, i cannot wait to start the ahsoka show for myself after all of these gifsets and memes— hayden is a real treat to the fandom and i'm so glad he's finally getting all the recognition he deserves!!

AND YES I LOVE THOSE LITTLE BOOKS ; u ; if you really want some vader raising luke fic recs, i am more than happy to provide the ones that i go back to time and time again for some good old comfort under the cut!!

ao3:

Force Bond: this series i read YEARLY. it is such a wholesome cornerstone piece of fanfiction in my life, i cannot get enough of it and am amazed by the fact that the author has kept it going with new updates twenty years later. basic premise is that luke escapes from tatooine and a crazed ex-jedi who wants to kill him as a young child and winds up on coruscant where a chance encounter with the emperor's right hand man might change their lives forever :')

The Emperor Skywalker Conspiracy: this short one is just for laughs, it's a great use of memes to react to the news that luke skywalker is darth vader's son as if you were in the sw universe and learning about it in real time through tumblr updates

Where Our Intrepid Hero Doesn't Get Away: a fun set of short drabbles exploring various different au possibilities within the sw universe of vader having to come to the rescue of his reckless son<3

The Family Tree: THIS ONE IS SO GOOD, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW IT CHANGED ME. i fucking love this trope- character a and b get stuck somewhere with no escape and are forced to have a heart-to-heart conversation ITS SO DAMN GOOD AND EMOTIONAL AHHHH

The Heir: i absolutely adore this concept and how the author presented it; palpatine raising a young luke as his son and creating a rift of hatred between vader and his child, only for vader to find out the truth and murder the emperor thus making his young son the rightful ruler. so full of angst and delightful twists, it's a fun read!!

ffnet

My Bitten Heart: told through an outsider pov of a rescue mission gone wrong. fully changed my perspective on writing when i read this over ten years ago.

Three Days, Two Nights and One Lifetime: one-shot where luke gets shot down over a desolate planet and experiences brief blindness and amnesia. who should find him in this state? :)

Between Flight and Longing: luke and han go to a distant planet in search of....something. vader happens upon them and a hilarious (and hurt/comfort) trio emerges as vader struggles to understand what could possibly be ailing his son.

[cryoexorcist]

okay i have thoughts. spoilers for lantern rite under the cut.

FIRST OFF, THEY MET IN GAME. I'm so happy that they FINALLY gave us canon interactions between chongyun and xiao, and chongyun and zhongli! Those relationships mean so much to me in rp, and I'm so happy that hoyo is finally branching out and giving chongyun more people to interact with that isn't just xingqiu and xiangling.

more headcanons for chongyun too? mahjong? how cool is that honestly? ALSO, I CAN FINALLY CONFIRM THAT CHONGYUN IS NOT THAT IGNORANT, HE TOTALLY KNOWS THAT XINGQIU'S AN AUTHOR. Chongyun may be the worst liar in existence, but he's covering up for his best friend in the classic chongyun fashion, and we love it.

I am so here for Chongyun finally getting more recognition. He's been left on the backburner for far too long, completely forgotten about and ignored. We were fed this event, and I'm smug that a lot of the general bad takes the fandom has on him were proven false.

FOR ONE. he doesn't hate hu tao. I am so fucking sick of hearing that. I have seen that all over reddit from people who put laughing emojis after saying that and acting like Chongyun finds her obnoxious. They're friends. They've always been friends. Why on god's green earth would chongyun hate her when they both have similar ways of thinking?

His voice line is that he finds her smirk condescending, not that he finds her obnoxious. And it could even be a case of him misunderstanding her facial expressions too!

ALSO THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ARE SO ADAMANT THAT CHONGYUN AND XIAO HATE EACH OTHER. like I know chongyun isn't a popular character, but holy batman of awful takes? That one actually makes me angry cause like. One. who the hell would hate Xiao? and two, do people actually pay attention to the shit chongyun says? My guess is no because he isn't your fave five star, he's a 4 star that people gloss over because uwu baby.

Chongyun is one of the most laid back, passive guys who also doesn't take shit. that's canon. He doesn't like Xiao putting down his clan, but he loves and admires Xiao because that's? a fucking yaksha???? THAT HIS CLAN WORKS WITH????

Mostly I am just tired of this fandom erasing chongyun from the narrative like he isn't one of Liyue's power houses. The guy works tirelessly to protect Liyue, he's got one hell of an intriguing backstory that again, is barely mentioned. The fandom as a whole tends to overlook Chongyun and/or only see him as an accessory to Xingqiu. Which, don't get me wrong, I adore their friendship, but I want to pluck Xingqiu and toss him aside so Chongyun can have the fucking spotlight for once.

This is why I push to throw Chongyun at a lot of people here on tumblr. He's such a fascinating character with so much potential, and if hoyo isn't gonna write him, I gotta.

And if the fandom isn't gonna give him the respect he deserves, then we gotta, as writers.

I know this one event isn't going to change the collective fandom's mind about him and he's still going to be largely ignored again, but man. I am thriving over interactions.

Also, for rp's sake, I am choosing to believe that Chongyun and Xiao were faking not knowing each other. Chongyun and Xiao are very very close and I will hold tightly to this headcanon and you can pry it from my cold, dead fingers. And even then good look because I will have superglued it to my cold, dead fingers.

[thatguytj11]

Angry Confession Prompt. It’s Never Enough.

After reading @persephones-journey prompt, I decided to give it a go. Hope you all enjoy, I literally finished this just today lol.

2 & 8. “How can you not understand how much I love you?” & “You make me so angry sometimes. And you make me love you all the time.”

Matt angrily shoves the door open to his vintage condo home. He walks in and slams the door right in Emma's face.

He didn't want anything to do with her. Hell, he couldn't even look at her. Not after what she did.

As he walked to the kitchen, he heard Emma’s footsteps right behind him. "Matt please, please just stop."

"Leave me alone Emma I don't want to talk to you right now," he said, his voice cold and harsh.

"But I need to apologize," she pleaded, her voice cracking with emotion. "Please don't shut me out. We've been doing that for months; it's only made things worse between us."

Matt stopped dead in his tracks, feeling a twinge of guilt in his chest. He turned his head to face her, his eyes looking deeply within hers. "Okay fine then let's talk." His arms crossed in front of his chest as he waited for her to explain herself.

Emma took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts. "It just happened, Matt. He just kissed me, but it didn’t mean anything. I swear."

"But why?" he asked, his voice laced with anger. "Why would you do that?"

"I don't know," she admitted, tears welling up in her eyes. "I was just caught up in the moment. I'm sorry, I know it was wrong."

"It was more than just wrong, the way you..." he paused. "Emma, the way you were kissing him. It looked like you were enjoying it. Like you wanted it to happen in the first place."

"No, it wasn't like that."

"Oh well then what was it like then, huh? Was he just helping you rehearse Romeo and Juliet or something?"

"No, of course not," she snapped, finally losing her patience. "Can you just listen to reason for five damn minutes?"

"I am fucking listening!" he growled, his hands balling into fists. "That's all I've ever done, and too much of it I'm afraid." He scoffed, turning back around to go get a drink.

"What is that supposed to mean? Why are you always so hostile towards me?"

"Oh, is that what I'm being," he replied, his tone cold. "Cause every time that you make a mistake, it's always seems to be my fault."

"But what about you?" she countered, stepping closer to him. "What about all the mistakes you've made?"

He stiffened, his jaw clenching. "What about them?"

"Nothing," she sighed.

"No go ahead," he challenged, his body tense. "Tell me about my mistakes."

She could feel her anger welling inside her chest, like it was about to explode at any given time. "Taylor."

“What about her?”

"The way you look at her, like she's the only woman in the world. The way you talk to her, like she's your everything. The times you've been with her, when I've been right here."

He took a step back, his face turning pale. "She’s just a friend," he stammered, trying to deflect the conversation. "It's just work, that's all."

"It's not just work," she spat, her eyes burning with rage. "You like her Matt. I can see it in your eyes."

"She means nothing to me, Emma! Not like you. I love you. The first time I met you , I knew you were the one. The only one for me."

"But you don't act like it," she argued, her tone rising. "It feels like we don't talk about anything anymore. You work day and night with your movies, you come home depressed. Nearly drink yourself to death and fall asleep!"

"Because I don't feel appreciated," he shot back, his temper flaring. "This is my career Emma; this is my passion. I'm a director, for God's sake! Don't you think I deserve some recognition for that?"

“Of course, I do," she assured him, stepping closer. "But that doesn't mean you have to neglect me in the process. You deserve to be happy, too."

He let out a bitter laugh, his shoulders slumping. "What makes you think you know what I deserve. You never ask me about how I'm feeling. It's all about you! Everything! No matter how much I try, you always end up pushing me away."

"I never push you away," she protested, hurt flashing across her face. "I just want what's best for us."

"And what's that?" he questioned, his voice low and tense. "Cause I can't seem to understand it."

"How can you not understand how much I love you?" she whispered, taking a step closer to him.

"Because nothing ever seems to be enough for you. Whether it's too much, or to little, you're always searching for something else. It's like you're looking for the perfect equation to make you happy, and when you can't figure it out, you just give up."

"Wow, you really don't know me?" Emma scoffed. "You think that with me it's all just about things. Like all the money, all the clothes, the jewelry. Matt the only thing that could ever make me happy was you. Cause where was I ever going to find another Matthew Perkins? You are the first man to ever make me feel loved, like I existed. Or at least I thought you did."

He looked at her, his eyes softening as he saw the sincerity in her words. "Emma, you do exi---"

"I changed my whole life for you. I moved here to L.A. just so I could be with you. I left my family, my friends, my job. Everything," she continued, tears now streaming down her face. "And now it feels like all of that sacrifice was for nothing. Like you don't even care about me anymore."

"I do," he protested. "I never cheat on you; I take care of you. Im good boyfriend, Emma."

"But you don't love me like you used to," she whispered, her voice cracking. "It's like you're just going through the motions. I can't keep living like this, Matt. I need to feel like I matter to you."

He reached out to her, his hand hovering over her cheek. "You do matter to me, Emma. More than anything in this world."

"Then why have you been so distant latley?" She questioned.

Matt sighed, his hand dropping to his side. "I don't know, Emma. Maybe I've been taking you for granted. Maybe I've been so focused on my career that I forgot about the most important thing in my life."

"And what's that?" she asked, her eyes searching his.

"You," he said firmly. "You are the most important thing in my life. And Taylor..." he paused. "Your right, I did have feelings for her. And it hurts so much for me to admit that because I have you. And I know I'm not supposed to feel that way, but I can't help it."

She reached up, cupping his cheek in her hand. "Matt, it's okay. I understand."

"But it's not ok, it's fucked up. You have put up with so much of my shit for months, Emma. I cared more about finishing this movie than I did about you. I'm the reason why you kissed that guy."

Emma pulled him into a hug, her arms wrapping tightly around him.

"I'm not so innocent either Matt. I shut you out because I was so insecure about our relationship. And I thought that kissing another guy could solve everything. I'm so selfish."

He pulled back, looking into her eyes. "We both made mistakes, Emma. No matter how many times we try to fix them, we just somehow find more ways to hurt eachother." Matt took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. "But that dosent mean we should give up on each other. We can fix this, I know we can."

Emma nodded; her expression determined. "We will. And this time, we won't make the same mistakes."

Matt gently pulled Emma into his arms, his lips pressing against hers in a soft embrace. "I will never understand what I did to deserve you,” he whispered.

Emma giggled, her soft fingers pinching the side of his cheeks. "I love you, Matt. No matter how much you make me angry sometimes. You still know how to make me love you all the time."

He pulled away, a small smile on his face. "And I love you too, Emma. No matter what happens."

As he spoke, he could feel his heart ache with regret and guilt, but he pushed those feelings aside, focusing on the promise of a brighter future with the woman he loved. The world around them seemed to fade away, and all that mattered was the two of them.

The end.

P.S. I’m looking forward to posting more often 😊

Tag list: @gemini-mama @emilyhufflepufftlk

[morsinteritus]

No words can elaborate how much pain and damage you've done.

No amount of faking it and standing brave will ever make up for what you did

No pleas of "sorry"s and other ways you wish to mend it (as if you wanted to anyway with how you see me as wrong every step of the fucking way) will ever fill the gap you've punctured in this hollow heart i possess.

You will never get me back but i will still eat with you and the pack of wolves in sheep's clothing which you de facto lead every single recognition day.

I will only talk if you beg and beg for me to say yes. Given you never want to beg for others, it will never happen.

Besides, calling me "it's always about you" and saying "wara man sato malinig" was the final nail in the coffin for a relationship in which you had nothing worth offering back.

You were so boring that you couldn't talk anything about yourself that i even had to talk to you for months about updating myself and you couldn't insert yourself ANYWHERE INTERESTING. THEN YOU HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY "IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT ME" when you've never ever given anything bout yourself. I was the only one efforting on that boat whilst your bullshit exploitative and manipulative savior complex gets the better of you once I'm your groupmate and you call it an act of friendship when it was your obligation to do as a fucking leader so irregardless if i was your groupmate or not. I AM SO SICK OF YOU and the fact that I've ended up this sick and pathetic that my coping mechanism is to fight my pain with more pain and stress to counteract the damage you've done is slowly driving me physically ill. I hate that this anger hasn't disapitated despite my emotionless face everytime i go outside. I hate that i loved you that much i started hating you and how i remember every bullshit you say that you change every single time a new person asked. I hate that i feel like i mustn't be angry and don't deserve to voice out. I hate that you will never know you are the one in the wrong and won't stop with your bullshit on wokeness and contemporarily shit mindset and oneliners. Your voice is so irritating saying those things I wished that I was either fully deaf to not hear that homoerotic voice your larynx has been playing the minute you started puberty or hoped I had a knife to slit open your throat to rip that voicebox out in order to break whatever repetitive disc recording of whatever you present in every fucking research time that turns me into an overstimulated monster as I breathe and continue to relapse from the damage you did.

I may as well be Sisyphus as everytime I heal back such wounds tend to return in the morning back to square one; a pain comparable to that of Prometheus, forever bound to a mountain with a vulture eating out his liver and the latter growing back again every day to be eaten. I am trapped in a cycle. I am trapped in the hell you've made me feel while you enjoy your life after ruining another. I wonder if ever i do become valedictorian i will add this segment in my speech. I wonder if i will immortalize you in some way so infamously disgusting you'd see just how much regret you would have for a man who stated he has no regrets in life and proceeds to whine how he should've done something about a decision he had complete control on but couldn't because he's lazy.

Papa was right. I should've killed you that day. I should've taken your life. Your lucky all i did is sob and never got my urges over me.

[delicatelystrangepolice]

So I finally deleted Exquisite Hearts from the internet

I have been thinking about it since before I even posted it. A completely weird thing for me to do because I felt like I had enough experience with writing and posting to know where I stand.

Exquisite Hearts took me on such an unpredictable journey that it took me half a year to realize the impact.

The writing process was nice. It was so nice I got a little too excited about it. It felt so special. I don't think anyone can realize how special that was. Not even myself.

It was the first thing I wrote creatively in a really long time. It was the thing that put this little hopeful spark in my mind: you can do this. See? You are doing it! I was so happy writing it that I didn't even realize I was invested in it to the point of neglecting my own mental health.

I lost an entire summer on it. The summer when I should have been relaxing and unwinding, not putting more stress on myself.

But the rational part of me slapped me in the face and screamed: You ARE relaxing! You are writing a stupid bullshit fanfic, it's not rocket science! There are literally no stakes in it! Nobody cares, you shouldn't either!

Well. I cared anyway.

The problem with this story wasn't the fact it was bad. I wrote much, much worse things in the past. Some of them are still all over the internet and they are so bad that I can't even get through them. Riddled with mistakes, terrible English, half-baked scenes, and zero original idea behind them. I still like them. It doesn't bother me it's out there. I can even get some comments here and there after years and think fondly of the times I was involved in them.

My idea of writing fanfiction comes from a very private, very sincere place. People write for fandom because they want to share. They want to share the love, the creativity, their fantasies, their writing. I still think it's a wholesome thing we can have here - this world of sharing just out of pure love. I don't want to change my view of fanfiction, because I like this aspect of it the most. I want art to be a thing of love. Not worrying about numbers or paychecks or recognition.

The problem for my personal journey with this story came when the two worlds crashed. On the one hand, I had this thing I loved so much - on the other the potential readers.

I posted it in a state of rush and let's say... desperation. When I started to write it I thought that the three months I had were more than enough to finish it. And it was an educated guess: I had nothing else going on, I knew my writing skills, I knew what I wanted this story to be. It went pretty smoothly from there.

What I didn't know was the fact how terrible I would feel about it.

I had six months to think about the whole fiasco and I still have no idea what went wrong.

For those last couple of months, I was trying to talk myself into a more positive attitude: just get back to work, you'll feel better about this whole thing. It's just a story. It's a good enough story. You just wrote a thing, and look, you even made something out of it! You got a wonderful writer talking to you, encouraging you even - isn't that worth something? Just leave it be, you will feel better about it when the right time comes.

Somehow, it never came. Every time I went to ao3 and saw it sitting there uselessly it bothered me. I didn't want to think I was too sensitive to cope with such bullshit (because WHY?? Why would I even be bothered by it??) but the fact remained. I hated it the most of all my stories and I thought - this story does not deserve this much hate. It's your little hopeful baby. Nobody cares about it like you do. Just get over it.

I wrote some things in the meantime. Just to feel happy about it again. I didn't.

I even beta-read some stories for another author because I thought - well, you obviously can't write for shit but maybe you could be useful for something. And my use of 'beta-reading' here may be a little out of proportion - I just went there, trying to feel brave and give someone something I needed with Exquisite Hearts myself: a little help, a little encouragement, and a little love.

(Despite my agony and stress over other things, I hope at least that one went well. She wrote her stories and I hope she still loves them.)

The first mistake I made writing Exquisite Hearts was to think I wanted to post it. I didn’t want to believe it was a mistake for a long time. But it was. And if it takes deleting it to undo it, so be it.

When September came I already knew: I wouldn’t be writing for a long time after that. For the next couple of months, I was trying to bullshit myself into thinking that maybe I just wasn’t in the right mindset, maybe I was just being dramatic, maybe it didn’t have to be this miserable. Nothing changed. And believe me, I tried.

I know nobody can help me with that. This thing? Is me trying to help myself.

[shychick-52]

Hmm, seems I was in the minority. Oh, well!

I prefer the idea of Gandra officially joining Team Science as an employee. I respect her anticapitalist, independent values, but:

She and Fenton would be able to be together all the time, work and do science together all day and every day.

Scrooge always allows Team Science an enormous deal of creative freedom (and especially with the buzzards gone, that would only increase), which I think Gandra would really appreciate in her passion for super-science and pushing the boundaries of science. Plus, I can see Scrooge having come a long way from the uptight businessman he still showed signs of in early season 1 when he told Gyro his machines were too dangerous, threatened to cut his funding if another invention went wrong, etc. I can see him really trusting his team now, especially after it really became cemented at the end of 'The Last Adventure' (after the final battle, where they all worked together to defeat Bradford) that everyone- friends and allies alike- is his family.

I can see her learning to respect Scrooge a lot more after the battle with F.O.W.L. in 'The Last Adventure.'

We know Gandra works very well with Gyro and the rest of Team Science from when she teamed up with them to defeat Beaks in 'Beaks In the Shell' and to disable the Solego Void in 'The Last Adventure' (and key points of those times are when Gyro hugely praised the GizmoCloud that Fenton and Gandra worked so hard on, Gyro figured out and fixed the problem with the glitches in the GizmoCloud, and Gandra risked her life to save Gyro and Ludwig Von Drake from Bradford's attack- while taking the majority of the hit- without a second thought)

Gandra's been essentially alone for so long, faced rejection, and always convinced herself she didn't need anyone as a means of masking her pain. But now that she's in a loving, supportive relationship with Fenton- the only one who ever cared about her and saw so much more in her than a dangerous crackpot and a crook- she's learned what it means to not only be cared about, but to care about others in return. And after the welcome reception/approval and trust she received from first Huey, then Gyro for her part on the GizmoCloud, and Fenton's mom as his girlfriend (after being so scared to go public with both their relationship and the GizmoCloud, for fear of continuing to be judged and misunderstood), she started to really know what it was finally like to have friends and to belong for the first time. And at the end of 'The Last Adventure', during the group victory when Scrooge told Bradford "I didn't defeat you- my family did! All of them!" I like to think that's when she really felt not only free, but officially part of a family.

@justaboot @writebackatya About Gandra actively working for Scrooge's competitors... you don't mean Beaks or Glomgold tho, do you? I mean, obviously, there's no way she would work for Beaks again, and I honestly can't see her taking a job for Glomgold because of what a pos he is (plus, I can't see her working for anyone who would want her to harm the Ducks or do any bad stuff after F.O.W.L.; I can't see such a step backwards in her character development). Plus, after she and Fenton launch the GizmoCloud, surely her options would no longer be limited to only villains who don't care how much destruction her inventions cause, because she would finally gain the recognition she deserved from the scientific community, so I can see her actually getting a ton of job offers from actual legit people. (Also, when you said actively taking a job with Scrooge's competitors, did you mean full-time or freelance? If full-time, I'm curious how come, since I thought the majority favored her as a freelance scientist?

@writebackatya It honestly bothered me too that Fenton continued to have a bathroom stall as his workspace after Gyro sincerely promoted him (and pretty much told him he would start treating him with the respect and support his own mentor never gave him) at the end of 'Astro B.O.Y.D.', and that he called him "Dr. Intern" (like, he called him "Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera" when he promoted him, so wtf??)... but I honestly don't think that Gyro continued to treat Fenton like shit. I think he honestly did treat him much better, and also that he did offer Fenton his own workspace in the lab, but that Fenton humbly declined because he's used to it in there... because it's the only logical explanation after Gyro's sincerity when he promoted him (and both Fenton and Gyro would explain this to Gandra). What are your thoughts?