#don't get me wrong i adore it

[saritaadam]

After the first ep, I was expecting Karna and Deli's relationship to be chaotic siblings, not scary toxic mess!!!

[brainrotcharacters]

the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[egophiliac]

so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:

[yamujiburo]

i frequently get asked what other ships are canon in this au and i haven't really thought about it much tbh?

james is aroace and happy and i think butch and cassidy eventually find each other again. these are the only ones im sure about LOL

the rest of the characters are all kids and wouldn't really be touched on anyways LOL. i feel like most people are curious about ash tho

i think ash and misty would date for a little bit as teens, but misty is a massive romantic and ash is very much NOT (probably where he realizes he's aroace). misty is also set being the gym leader at cerulean while ash wants to continue his travels. i could see them breaking up after finding they're not the most compatible but remain the best of friends.

in my head misty ends up with lana (lana like... clearly has a big crush on her idk). then ash i think would find a life bestie who'd be down to travel with him. i've tossed around the idea of goh and angie (who i think's underrated)

[kacievvbbbb]

honestly you would think Rayleigh gave birth to shanks the way they are just exactly the same person right down to their alcoholism, penchant for scheming love of sandals and other generally horrible fashion items.

In a world where Mihawk meets Shanks first, he later goes to challenge old man Rayleigh and it all starts to click into place. like "oh you're the reason I'm stuck with that" point to Shanks wearing an outfit a pattern blind person put togther.

[horsechestnut]

I absolutely love how casual the Seaweed Brain name drop was! It would have been so easy to make it a big moment, or to have Leah put emphasis on it, but no. Because to us it's huge, but to the characters it doesn't mean anything yet. It was perfect.

[kj-beastboy]

Pregnancy as a kink makes me uncomfortable so man am I glad your pregg Flug stuff is explicitly not kink oriented!

yeah I... don't wanna judge anyone... but it's more than that, it's downright terrifying to me. Blame my hormones bc I'm expecting irl but wow... I'm very sensitive and it feels dehumanizing. but ig that is kinda the point of the kink(?)

it's so common in fandoms!

I'm completely vanilla anyway tho, so not surprising.

I've tried to pretend for a super long time that I'm into kink, but most of them are off putting and I consider them intrusive thoughts, not fantasies. I'm kinda fluctuating between sex-repulsed and neutral (aroace) even fictional... ig kink just isn't for me. I tried so hard to get over it. I know some people in my asks/requests are gonna be disappointed but I'm sorry💔

I'm slightly ashamed of how boring I am and I have serious trouble connecting to anyone in fandoms due to this actually🤕 feel like the most NT autistic person ever.

anyway here's a doodle!

[unrealisticallyyours]

obligatory TW rewatch scott appreciation post bc he's so interesting and fun as a character

i genuinely adore how the writers gave scott such a loving personality? like his first instinct when he meets allison is to give her a pen because he heard that she needed one. he tags along with stiles ep 1 because stiles wanted to see the body (why would an asthmatic with school in the morning want to go traipsing out into the wilderness to see a dead body??). throughout the series he takes in strays (lol) even if they've ACTIVELY TRIED TO KILL HIM in the past. and the part that i love the most is how the writers gave him room to be a bad person, too. they gave him moments where he was a bad friend, a bad boyfriend. but they didn't make those moments ones that outshone his real personality. they were treated like moments he grew from and made him into an even kinder person.

scott doesn't get the love he deserves imo he's such a well written character and someone i strive to emulate

[insomnya777]

hate the siblingification of joel and gems relationship .. no they are not brother and sister they are in LOVE.

[redthemarten]

Can't go wrong with Daisuke Ono

The Duke seems content with the butler costume, although you get a feeling it's mostly due to Monsieur Neuvillette's approval. Iudex himself gives you some Credit Coupons, then shooshes you to go away. You can still hear parts of conversation behind you - apparently someone tries to negotiate with His Grace to wear this outfit every day, or at the very least on the weekends...

[miguel-owhora]

we as a society should accept the fact that there are different realities where reader is a complete ass and utterly loyal to makarov.

a reader who's makarov's ever loyal and dutiful dog, taking pleasure in the way people die under him, how bones snap from his heavy hoots, people suffocating to death from how he strangles them, black and bruised with how he beats them. he likes how much weaker they are, how it disgusts him to think they're human like him—weak, pathetic, useless humans.

a reader who kidnaps members from 141, torturing them with glee under makarov's orders, adoring the bruises and cuts on their skin. but it frustrates you when they don't crumble, when they're stubborn. your temper rises and you foam at the mouth like the rabid hound that you are, and only increase your torture when makarov gives you permission.

a reader that doesn't hesitate to kill anyone, no matter who they are. women, men, children, the elderly—anyone makarov wants dead, you're more than happy to help get rid of.

a reader who's so loyal to makarov, who doesn't stray from obedience, trained to perfection and all too eager to do whatever the hell makarov tells him to do.

[shorlinesorrows]

okay, a couple things on alien stage/ivantill that I think some folks maybe need to consider and internalize.

Till does not "need" to return Ivan's feelings in the slightest if he doesn't feel that way. It's heart wrenching to see Ivan love him and have those feelings unreturned, but please remember that no one is required to return romantic feelings for someone else. You can't make yourself love someone, and you shouldn't. Especially out of guilt or obligation. That's Unhealthy 101, and would only set a relationship up for failure. (I do think Till cared about Ivan, and that he's going to have a Guilt Complex based on the fact that he didn't fully notice Ivan's feelings/care toward him until the guy died, but I've seen a couple of people tear into Till for not noticing/reciprocating Ivan's feelings??? Don't do that??? their situation is shitty, the fact that they didn't get to talk is shitty, but please don't blame Till for things he Can't Control.)

The kiss was not consensual. It wasn't meant to be portrayed as such. It wasn't even really romantic, it was a desperate, selfish act that Ivan used to get Till's attention (in more ways than one) and to give himself some sense of closure before he died. It was him saying everything that he felt at once, with no chance for Till to reciprocate or deny the affection. In a perfect world, they could have talked instead of this, maybe kissed knowing both wanted it, or given Till a chance to refuse. But they're both in the middle of an essential death tournament and one of them is going to be murdered sometime in the next few minutes. Neither of them really wants to live, but Ivan feels he has unfinished business before his sacrifice, so he finishes it. Their situation sucks. That doesn't mean the kiss was consensual. (especially considering the theory/implication that Till was/is being sexually assaulted by aliens, I wouldn't be surprised if this affects him badly in the future, for multiple reasons. Everyone should always get the chance to say "no" and have that fully respected. This also extends to the fact that Ivan died for Till without giving him a chance to stop it, which is probably going to mess with Till's head a lot. Then again, Ivan likely didn't think it would affect Till much because as far as he/we know, the feelings aren't reciprocated in this moment in canon, or are extremely repressed. Ivan might believe that Till simply hates him, or the kiss/subsequent "choking" may have been a way of trying to make Till hate him so that his death wouldn't hurt as much. Of course that thinking is flawed, because it would hurt Till no matter what, but still, it makes me sad)

Ivan... is kinda messed up. I adore him, but we've got to acknowledge that he has little to no emotional and relationship maturity due to the fact that he was quite literally raised as a pet and learned at a young age to do whatever his masters said to keep himself safe and pain-free. His fascination with Till appears to largely stem from Till's sense of rebellion. Ivan's examples of relationship dynamics and what constitutes as "love" is dangerously unbalanced, and he does not know how to build a healthy relationship. (Neither of them do.) This is also built onto the fact that the person he became dependent on only paid attention to him when they were fighting or Ivan was annoying him. Ivan cares about Till desperately, but he is also dangerously reliant on him to the point of self-detriment. Again, in an ideal world, they would be able to get out of this situation and gradually make a healthy relationship/friendship (depending on Till's feelings) over time while starting to undo the dangerous relationship patterns that they fell into when they didn't have any way to know better. But they're in a terrible situation, and Ivan really just doesn't get the chance to grow as a person and realize that his sense of possessiveness and reliance on Till's attention isn't healthy.

Basically, their situation makes me want to sob and its heart wrenching. Their circumstances have set them up for failure. Both of them are in the midst of attempting to survive an abusive situation and massive amounts of dehumanization. I beg, please try not to sanitize their complicated relationship or blame either of them for the pain the other is going through. I've seen some of that going around, and it's making me sad :(

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

he said :(

[sprnklersplashes]

when talking about how the timeless child twist was revealed and set up at the end of s12, youtuber full fat videos said "for a central mystery to be set up and teased across the series only to be promptly thrown in the bin feels very cheap and insults the commitment the audience have given to the plot arc".

and that's how I feel about the conclusion to ruby sunday's arc

[mintytrifecta]

My gender is whatever the fuck armillary spheres, planispheres, astrolabes and sidereal compasses have going on