#don't break my heart! ;; monika

[03jyh23]

✋🏻⌇touch part one┆choi san

│part of goes to waste the series based on my favourite keshi songs

│listen here

non-idol!san x fem!reader

│synopsis: you and san had always been the best of friends, but a single kiss changed everything.

│genre: friends to lovers, smut with a plot

│trigger warnings: strong language, emotional manipulation, infidelity (not between san and the reader), alcohol consumption, explicit sexual content (consensual and unprotected sex, thick san, handjob, mentions of cum, sofa sex)

│words: 6.3 k

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there my lovely people! another part of goes to waste is here! i hope you guys will like it! touch is not as heavy as the previous parts of this series, so i decided to post it now, feeling that perhaps you guys need a break from the heavy angst. as always i hope you guys will enjoy reading!

love, monika ♡

│taglist: @skittyneos │@kyeos4ng │ @vcutparis │@hoeforalbedo

As soon as your San picked up his phone, you felt a wave of relief wash over you, even though your heart was heavy. "Can you come pick me up from Juyeon's?" you asked, your voice coming out weakly as you wiped your nose. It had been a rough night, and the sound of San's breathing on the other end of the line provided a small comfort. 

"What happened this time?" San asked, his tone a mix of concern and weariness. It wasn't the first time you'd called him crying, and you could sense the worry in his voice. You hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words to explain the mess you found yourself in, yet again. 

Tears welled up in your eyes as you began to speak, your voice trembling. "It's just... everything's a mess, San. I can't do this anymore. I need to get out of here." 

You could hear him sigh on the other end, the sound of keys jingling as he likely grabbed them to head out the door. "Hang tight, Y/N. I'll be there soon," he reassured you, his voice steady and comforting. You nodded, even though he couldn't see you, feeling a small glimmer of hope knowing that San was on his way. You wiped away another tear, grateful that at least one person in your life could be counted on to be there when you needed them the most. 

You were waiting for San at the park in front of your boyfriend's house. The evening was cold and windy, and you were only wearing a short dress. The thin fabric did little to protect you from the biting chill, and you hugged yourself tightly, trying to preserve what little warmth you had. Minutes felt like hours as you anxiously glanced around, hoping to see San's car. Each gust of wind seemed to penetrate deeper, making you shiver uncontrollably. Fifteen minutes, which felt like forever, passed before you finally saw the familiar headlights of San's car pulling up to the curb. Relief washed over you as you quickly made your way to the passenger seat, slipping inside with a sigh. 

San smiled weakly at you; his brows furrowed in worry. He immediately noticed your discomfort and reached into the back seat, pulling out one of his big hoodies and a pair of sneakers. "Here you go," he said softly, handing them to you. 

You looked at him, surprised. "Shoes?" 

"Y/N, I knew you were wearing those damn heels again, and I wasn't wrong," he replied, his tone a mix of concern and gentle admonishment. "Your feet must be tired, so just put the socks on, shoes on, and don't yammer." 

His words were firm but caring, and you felt a wave of gratitude wash over you. You took the hoodie and sneakers, slipping the warm, oversized garment over your head. It smelled like San—comforting and familiar. As you put on the socks and sneakers, you felt a warmth spreading from your feet, a stark contrast to the cold you had been enduring. 

San watched you closely, his eyes filled with a mix of worry and relief. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper. 

You nodded, unable to find the words to express how much his simple act of kindness meant to you. Tears welled up in your eyes, but this time they were tears of gratitude. "Thank you, San," you whispered, your voice trembling. 

"McDonald’s?" San asked while gently massaging your thighs, trying to warm you up a bit. The warmth of his hands was comforting, and it helped to ease the tension that had been building up inside you all evening. 

You nodded, a small smile forming on your lips at the thought. "Yeah, that sounds good," you replied, your voice soft but grateful. "I could use something to eat." 

"Alright, let's get you something to eat and then we can talk about everything, okay?" he said, and you nodded softly, your head resting over the cold window. San started the car, the engine's hum providing a comforting background noise as he drove toward the nearest McDonald's. 

As you sat there, wrapped in his hoodie, and feeling the warmth from the car's heater, you could not help but feel a sense of gratitude for San. The night had been rough but knowing that he was by your side made it a little easier to bear. 

When you arrived at McDonald's, San ordered your favorite meal deal without even needing to ask. He knew you so well, and that simple gesture brought a tear to your eye. As you sat in the car, eating, you felt a sense of normalcy return, even if just for a little while. 

"Thanks," you said again, your voice filled with emotion. "I don't know what I'd do without you." 

San smiled, reaching over to squeeze your hand gently. "You'll never have to find out," he replied softly. "I'm always here for you, no matter what." 

You watched the road, finding comfort in the passing city lights and watching the clouds on the horizon. The rhythmic motion of the car and the changing scenery outside the window provided a soothing backdrop to your thoughts. The radio was playing softly in the background, filling the car with a gentle melody. San was humming along to one of the songs, his voice low and melodic. It was a sound that felt like home, wrapping around you. As the car sped along the street, you glanced over at your best friend. His hands were steady on the wheel, his eyes focused on the road ahead. The soft glow of the dashboard lights cast a gentle light on his face, highlighting his strong jawline and the curve of his lips. 

"Yours or mine?" San asked, pulling you out of your thoughts, as he got closer to the crossroad, his eyes briefly flicking from the road to meet yours. You didn’t even hesitate. The thought of going back to your place felt daunting, when going to San's place meant warmth and familiarity. 

"Yours," you replied after a brief pause, "And let's grab a bottle of wine on our way?" you asked, a small smile forming on your lips. 

San chuckled softly, nodding. "Sounds like a plan," he agreed, his voice warm and reassuring. 

A few minutes went by till San finally parked in front of his apartment complex. He turned off the engine, left the car and quickly jogged to open your door for you. As he reached for the handle, you could see the concern etched on his face. He offered his hand, helping you hop off his car with a gentle smile. The warmth of his touch was a stark contrast to the chilly night. You smiled at him and nodded your head, grateful for his presence and the comfort he provided. 

In comforting silence, you both made your way to the off license nearby. San led the way through the narrow alleys, his eyes scanning the shelves before settling on a bottle of wine. He picked it up and turned to you with a questioning look, and you nodded in approval. 

"Make it two?" you suggested shyly 

San's eyes widened in surprise, clearly taken aback by your request. "Was it that bad?" he asked, concern lacing his words as he reached for another bottle. 

You nodded solemnly, feeling the weight of the night's events pressing down on you. "You don't want to know," you replied, your voice tinged with exhaustion and a hint of sadness. San paused for a moment, studying your face. The seriousness in your eyes made him reach out for a third bottle without hesitation. The sight of him grabbing the extra bottle brought a small, grateful chuckle to your lips. 

"Three bottles it is," he said, trying to lighten the mood. His attempt at humor was a small gesture, but it made you feel a little better, knowing that he was willing to go the extra mile to make you feel comfortable. San paid for the wine, and as you both left the store, you couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for him. With the bottles of wine in tow, you headed back to his apartment. 

San let you inside, his apartment instantly enveloping you in its warmth. "You can shower first," he suggested softly, putting the wine bottles in the fridge, "I'll leave you some clothes on the bed. How does that sound?" 

You nodded, feeling a wave of relief. "That sounds perfect," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. San's caring nature was exactly what you needed at that moment. 

"After the last time you stayed, I decided to get a few things for you," San began, his voice soft and caring. He went to his bedroom gesturing for you to follow him, you leaned against the door frame to watch him as he rummaged through his wardrobe. "I bought a toothbrush for you and some fancy shower gel that I thought you might like. I also picked up a few types of shampoo and conditioners since I wasn't sure which one you prefer." He paused for a moment, turning to look at you with a gentle smile. "If you need tampons, they're in the cabinet under the sink," he added, his tone thoughtful. "But I think you don't need them yet?" You nodded as you laughed softly at the way San looked at you knowingly, one of his eyebrows furrowed playfully. As he continued to search for a towel, his hands moved deftly through the organized shelves. San's attention to detail and his thoughtful gestures made you feel incredibly cared for. It was clear that he had gone out of his way to make you feel comfortable and at home. After a few moments, he finally found a soft, fluffy towel and handed it to you with a reassuring smile. "Here you go," he said, his voice warm and comforting. "Take your time in the shower. I'll be here if you need anything." You looked into his eyes and couldn't help but start crying. The way he cared for you, how softly he spoke to you—it was overwhelming. Tears streamed down your face as you realized just how much his kindness and understanding meant to you. At that moment, all the emotions you had been holding back came rushing to the surface. You felt a mixture of gratitude, relief, and sorrow. Gratitude for his unwavering support, relief that you didn't have to face everything alone, and sorrow for the situation that had brought you to this point.  

San's eyes softened as he noticed your tears, and he gently took you in his arms. His touch was warm and reassuring, anchoring you to the present. "Hey, it's okay," he whispered, his voice like a soothing balm. "Let it all out." His words gave you the permission you needed to release the pent-up emotions. You sobbed quietly, leaning into his comforting presence. San didn't rush you or try to stop your tears; he simply held your hand, offering silent support. 

As the minutes passed, your sobs began to subside, replaced by a sense of catharsis. You looked up at San, your eyes red and puffy, but filled with gratitude. "Thank you," you managed to whisper, your voice trembling. "I don't know what I'd do without you." 

San smiled softly, his eyes never leaving yours, he tugged your hair behind your ear "I'm always here for you, no matter what." With a final, comforting squeeze, San released you and nodded towards the bathroom. "Go take that shower," he said gently. "I'll be here when you're done." You nodded, taking the towel and heading towards the bathroom, feeling a little lighter after you let your emotions out. "I will leave some clothes for you on my bed, so you don't have to worry about anything else." 

As you closed the bathroom door behind you, you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the night slowly begin to lift. You took a long, hot shower, letting the warm water wash away the grime and stress of the day. After what felt like an eternity, you finally stepped out, wrapping yourself in the soft towel San had given you. You made your way to the bedroom, feeling a sense of calm. On the bed, you found one of San's hoodies, just as he had promised, and a pair of boxers. You picked them up in confusion, "Sannie, the boxers?" you shouted in the direction of the living room, where San was preparing his sofa with blankets and cushions. 

"New ones! I swear I never put them on!" San shouted back, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. You couldn't help but smile at his response, feeling a sense of normalcy returning. With a sigh of relief, you put on what San prepared. Wrapping the hoodie tighter around you, you made your way to the living room, where San was waiting with a comforting smile and a spread of snacks, ready to offer you whatever you needed. He offered you a glass of wine, gesturing for you to sit down on the sofa beside him. The warmth of the room and the soft glow of the lights created a cozy atmosphere. 

"Do you want to talk? Or are we just drinking wine?" San asked softly as you sat down next to you on the sofa. You looked at him, your eyes filled with a mixture of emotions. Without saying a word, you hugged his arm tightly, needing to feel him closer. San understood your need for comfort and didn't press for an answer. Instead, he gently rested his head against yours, as you both sipped your wine in the comforting silence. 

"So, I was waiting for Juyeon in front of the restaurant, and he didn't show up for an hour. I stood there, feeling more and more frustrated. He didn’t pick up his phone, didn’t answer the texts I sent." You paused, taking a sip of your wine to steady your emotions. San nodded; his eyes filled with concern as he listened intently. "I decided to walk to his place, as I didn't want to spend money on Uber. It was a long walk, but a girl got to save up money." You let out a small, bitter laugh, shaking your head at the absurdity of the situation. San's grip on his wine glass tightened, and you could see the anger building in his eyes on your behalf. "When I finally got there, his roommate opened the door and told me he had gone out with the boys earlier this afternoon and he wasn't back yet." Your voice cracked slightly, and you took another sip of wine to mask the hurt. San's jaw clenched, and you could feel how his muscles tightened. You took a deep breath as you tightened your grip on your wine glass. "I couldn't believe it. He had completely forgotten about our plans and didn't even bother to let me know. I felt so humiliated and angry." You took another sip of wine, your anger now mixed with a deep sense of hurt. "I waited outside his apartament, hoping he would be back but after another hour of waiting I finally gave up and called you. I didn't know what else to do. I just needed to get away from there." 

"Son of a bitch," San seethed, his voice dripping with anger as he downed his glass in one swift motion. He refilled it at once, the sound of the wine pouring into the glass punctuating the tense silence. His jaw was clenched tightly, and you could see the muscles in his neck tense as he tried to hold his frustration. "I can't believe he would treat you like this. You deserve so much better, Y/N." San's eyes met yours, filled with a fierce determination. "I swear, if I ever see him..." He took another long sip of his wine, his anger still clear but tempered by his concern for you. "You don't have to put up with this. Not now, not ever." San looked at you with a mixture of anger and tenderness. "You deserve all the best, Y/N," he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "You deserve someone who will never forget about you, someone who will always be there for you. You deserve to be loved fully and completely, without any doubts or second thoughts. You deserve someone who sees you for the incredible person you are and cherishes every moment with you." 

San’s words hit you deeply, resonating with the part of you that had been yearning for this kind of affirmation. You felt a surge of emotions, a mix of gratitude, relief, and something deeper that you hadn't fully acknowledged until now. Before you could second-guess yourself, you leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was soft and tentative at first, a gentle exploration of feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface. But it quickly deepened as you both poured all your emotions into it, the unspoken words, the shared history, and the undeniable connection. San's hand cupped your cheek, his thumb gently brushing away a tear you hadn't realized had fallen. His touch was tender, and it made your heart ache with a mix of longing and hope. 

When you finally pulled away, you looked into his eyes, searching for any sign of hesitation or doubt. Instead, you found a reflection of your own emotions—intense, raw, and real. Your voice trembled as you whispered, "It's wrong..." 

San rested his forehead against yours. "But it feels so right," he murmured, his breath warm against your lips. His eyes locked onto yours, filled with an intensity that took your breath away. "I've always been here for you, Y/N, and I always will be." His words made your heart flutter, and you knew in that moment that something had shifted between you two. 

You closed your eyes, feeling the weight of his words and the comfort of his presence. In that moment, everything else seemed to fade away—the hurt, the betrayal, the uncertainty. All that mattered was the connection you felt with San. He cupped your cheeks, pulling you in closer and kissing you deeply. You melted into him, losing yourself in the warmth and intensity of the moment. His tongue explored your mouth, each movement sending shivers down your spine. The kiss became increasingly passionate, messy, and urgent, as if all the emotions you had been holding back were finally being released. You felt a desperate need for him, a longing that grew stronger with each passing second. His hands roamed down to your waist, pulling you even closer, and you responded by wrapping your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. San's touch was electrifying, the intensity of the kiss left you breathless, but you didn't want it to end. San's hands moved to your waist, lifting you effortlessly and guiding you onto his lap. As your hands tangled in his hair, you both knew that this was a turning point. 

"We shouldn't be doing this," you whispered, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. 

"I know," San replied, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race and your mind whirl with a thousand unspoken words and unexpressed fears. 

You pressed your forehead against his, your breaths mingling, creating a shared rhythm of panting. "This is crazy," you whispered, your voice trembling with the gravity of the moment. "But I can't stop." 

San's eyes bore into yours, filled with the same mix of emotions that swirled within you—fear, desire, confusion, and an undeniable pull toward each other. "Maybe we don't need to," he replied, his voice low and husky. "As long as you want this?" San asked, his voice filled with a mixture of hope, vulnerability, and an almost desperate yearning for affirmation. 

"I do," you whispered, your voice steady, "I want this. I want you, San." 

Without another word, San captured your lips once more, the kiss deepening with each passing second. San's lips moved from your mouth to your neck, trailing a path of soft kisses and gentle nips that sent shivers down your spine. His hands roamed over your back, pulling you even closer as if he couldn't bear to have any space between you. San's hands found the hem of your hoodie, and he slowly began to lift it, his fingers brushing against your skin, sending electric tingles through your body. You raised your arms to help him, and he quickly discarded the hoodie, leaving you bare for him to see. He took in sight of you, and he leaned into place a tender kiss on your collarbone. 

You reached for the hem of his shirt, eager to feel his skin against yours. He helped you pull it over his head, revealing his toned chest and stomach muscles. You ran your hands over them, feeling the heat and strength beneath your fingertips. You leaned in to press a kiss to his chest, feeling the rapid rise and fall of his breath. "I can't believe you hid all of this behind these useless clothes," you said, your hands roaming over his muscles. "You're so fucking hot." 

San's breath hitched at your words, he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "I was waiting for the right moment to show you." His voice was low and husky, sending shivers down your spine. 

You felt a surge of excitement at his words, your heart pounding in your chest. Your fingers traced the contours of his chest, "Well, I'm glad you finally did," you replied, your voice trembling with anticipation. "Because you look fucking incredible." You couldn't get enough of him, the feel of his body against yours, the taste of his lips, the heat of his touch. It was overwhelming, intoxicating, and you never wanted it to end. You reached for the waistband of his pants, your fingers trembling with anticipation. San's hands covered yours, helping you undo the button and zipper, and he quickly kicked off his pants, leaving him in only his boxers. The sight of him so vulnerable and exposed filled you with a sense of awe and desire. 

San's hands slid down your sides, finding the waistband of his boxers that you’ve been wearing, and he gently tugged them down. You reached out to him, your fingers brushing against his cheek, and he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes. "Are you sure about this?" he whispered, his voice filled with a mixture of longing and concern. "We don't have to do anything you don’t want to." 

"Boxers off, San," you whisper into his ear, your voice trembling. San's breath hitched at your words; his eyes full of lust as he looked deeply into yours. He reaches down, his hands brushing against your skin as he slowly slides his boxers off, revealing himself to you completely. San was big and thick, and so fucking pretty. His cock stood proudly, the veins running along its length making it look even more mouth-watering. He was for sure the thickest you've ever seen, the head flushed a deep, enticing shade of red, glistening with precum. You couldn't help but bite your lip at the sight, your own arousal intensifying. You leaned in, capturing his lips in a heated kiss, your hands wandering over his chest and down to his length. San let out a low groan as your fingers wrapped around him, the sound sending a thrill through your body. You began to stroke him slowly, he arched his back, his breath quivering, as your touch sent waves of pleasure coursing through his body. You could feel him getting harder in your palm, his eyes fluttered shut. Your hand moved with a steady rhythm, eliciting more sounds of pleasure from him. San's hands gripped the edge of the sofa, his knuckles turning white as he tried to steady himself. His breathing grew heavier, each exhalation laden with raw desire. He opened his eyes to look at you, his gaze filled with a mixture of lust and adoration. "Y/N," he whispered, his voice strained, "You have no idea what you do to me." You felt a surge of confidence at his words, leaning in closer, you pressed a series of soft kisses along his jawline, trailing down to his neck. As you continued to stroke him, you could feel his muscles tensing beneath your touch, his body responding to every movement. 

"I want to make you feel good," you murmured against his skin, your breath hot and teasing. San's response was a low whimper, his hands moving to your hips. The intensity between you was almost overwhelming, but in the best possible way. 

As your hand continued its steady rhythm, San's breathing grew more ragged, "Y/N," he moaned, his voice thick with need, "I need you." The raw honesty in his words sent a shiver down your spine, and you knew that this was a moment you would never forget. 

You looked into his eyes, your own filled with the same need and longing. "Then take me," you whispered, your voice steady and sure. San's eyes flashed with a mixture of surprise and desire, and without another word, he pulled you into a searing kiss, his hands moving with a newfound urgency. You put your hand gently around his base. Then, you lifted yourself from him and guided his length into you, taking him inch by inch slowly. The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and pain as you felt him fill you completely. Your breaths mingled in the quiet room, San's hands gripped your hips, steadying you. As you took him deeper, you couldn't help but let out a soft moan, the feeling of him stretching you, filling you, was intense. San's eyes never left yours, he held you close, his hands moving gently over your skin, soothing and igniting you all at once. You moved slowly at first, savoring each moment, each sensation. The way he fit perfectly inside you, the way your bodies seemed to meld together, felt like the culmination of something long-awaited and deeply needed. San's hands wandered up your back, pulling you closer until your foreheads touched. You began to move more confidently, finding a rhythm that made both of you gasp in pleasure. In no time, San's hips began to meet yours, thrusting into you. It was quick, his thrusts relentless and brutal as he fucked into you. San's grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your flesh as he drove deeper and harder into you. 

"Sa-San, fuc-" Your words were cut off by a sharp gasp as San's thrusts became more intense. The pleasure was overwhelming, you clung to him tightly, your nails digging into his shoulders as your body responded to his every touch. San's arm held you tight as he, in one swift motion, laid you down on the couch. He was towering above you now, the new angle of his dick hitting deep inside you made your eyes roll back. You could feel every inch of him, the intensity of the sensation making you clench around his length. Your hands found their way to his back, fingers digging into his skin. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth with the same intensity as his movements. The rhythm of his thrusts grew more urgent, each one hitting deeper, sending shivers down your spine. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him even closer, needing to feel every part of him. 

"San," you gasped, your voice trembling with need, "Ngh-n-not enough…" San shifted slightly, angling his hips to hit that perfect spot inside you, his movements becoming even more intense. The sensation was overwhelming, and you cried out in pleasure, your body arching beneath him. He reached down between you to rub at your clit, the bundle of nerves growing more sensitive. The sensation sent ripples of pleasure through your body, intensifying with each movement. San's thrusts grew more urgent, each one hitting deeper, causing you to cry out in ecstasy. 

"San, I—I'm close," you gasped, your muscles tightened, and a wave of pure pleasure washed over you. You cried out his name as you came, your body trembling beneath him. As you rode out your climax, San's movements became even more frantic. His thrusts grew erratic, and you could feel him throbbing, on the edge of his own release. 

"N-need to cum...," San whimpered, his breath ragged. "Whe-where?" 

Your breath hitched, your mind racing despite the haze of pleasure. "Inside," you moaned, your voice trembling from overstimulation. San's eyes widened in surprise, but the raw desire in them only intensified. With a final, guttural moan, San buried himself deep inside you, bottoming out, his body tensing. You felt the warmth of his cum fill you, his breath hot and heavy against your skin, both of you trembling in the aftermath. San gently pulled out his softening length out of you, and he collapsed on top of you, his head on your chest. For a moment, the room was filled with nothing but the sound of your ragged breaths, the intensity of the moment lingering between you. Your hand found its way to his hair, brushing through sweaty strands gently as you both were catching your breath. You started to giggle, and San looked up at you, surprised. 

"What's so funny?" he asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 

You shook your head, trying to stifle your laughter. "Nothing, it's just... Can you believe we just had sex?" you asked, your voice filled with a mix of disbelief and joy. 

San chuckled softly, his eyes filled with warmth and affection. "Yeah, it's pretty unbelievable," he admitted, pressing a gentle kiss to your neck. "But you felt good, right?" 

You nodded, a contented smile spreading across your face. "More than good. It felt perfect," you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity. 

San's eyes sparkled with happiness as he leaned in to kiss you gently. "I'm glad," he murmured against your lips. "We should get cleaned up and rest." 

You nodded, feeling a sense of peace and contentment. "Yeah, let's do that," you agreed, wrapping your arms around him for one last embrace before getting up. As you both headed to the bathroom, your fingers intertwined, you couldn't help but smile. 

You were woken up by your phone buzzing on the night table, San's arm loosely wrapped around your waist. The soft light of the day filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow over the room. You glanced at the phone, squinting at the bright screen, and saw multiple notifications flashing; messages, and missed calls, all from Juyeon. 

"Shit," you cursed under your breath as you managed to extricate yourself from San's hold. Carefully untangling yourself from his embrace, you sat up on the edge of the bed, trying not to disturb him. Your heart sank as the reality of the situation began to set in. In the soft morning light, you glanced back at San, who was still peacefully asleep, his face calm and content. The contrast between the warmth of his presence and the turmoil you felt inside was stark. Taking a deep breath, you stood up and quietly made your way to the bathroom, as you splashed water on your face, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions—confusion, guilt, but also a strange sense of clarity. You wiped your face with a towel and noticed that Juyeon was calling once again. You picked up, your heart pounding in your chest. "Hello?" you answered, your voice barely above a whisper. 

"Y/N, where are you?" Juyeon's voice was harsh, filled with anger. "I've been trying to reach you all night!" 

"Juyeon, I..." you began, your voice trembling. "I waited for you for hours. You didn't show up, and you didn't even bother to call or text." You felt a mix of anger and sadness welling up inside you. "I stood there, feeling humiliated. And then I walked all the way to your place, only to find out you were out with your friends." 

There was a pause on the other end of the line before Juyeon's voice came through, slightly softer this time, "You know how things get with the guys sometimes. Are you really going to be a bitch about it?" 

Your blood boiled at his dismissive tone. "A bitch about it?" you retorted, your voice rising with anger. "I deserved better than being stood up and ignored!" 

"It's your fault for not reminding me about the date! I would have shown up if you had reminded me!" Juyeon exclaimed, his voice defensive and accusatory. 

"Are you serious, Juyeon? It's not my job to remind you of our plans. You should care enough to remember them yourself." Your voice shook with a mix of anger and hurt. 

"Y/N, come on. You know how things get sometimes. I just lost track of time," he replied, his tone softer but still dismissive. "I'm going to come pick you up now, okay?" he continued, his voice trying to sound soothing but not masking the underlying tension. "I'll buy you breakfast, and we can order your favourite coffee. How does that sound? I'll make it up to you, princess." 

"Fine, come pick me up from San’s" you replied, your voice steady but resigned. As you hung up the phone, you felt a knot of guilt tightening in your stomach. You headed back to the bedroom; you sat down on the bed and San stirred slightly as you gently shook him awake.

His eyes fluttered open, and he looked up at you with a sleepy smile. "Morning," he mumbled, his voice groggy but warm. 

You forced a smile, your heart heavy with the weight of what you had to say. "Juyeon is coming to pick me up," you said softly, your voice tinged with regret. San's expression shifted, concern replacing the warmth in his eyes. 

"What do you mean he's coming?" San furrowed his brows, his voice filled with confusion and concern. 

You sighed, "He called, and he's coming to pick me up," you explained, your voice tinged with regret. 

San's expression darkened, his jaw clenching as he processed your words. "You're really going to see him after what he did?" he asked, his voice low and filled with barely held anger. 

You looked away, feeling the weight of his disappointment. "He's my boyfriend, San. I need to talk to him," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. 

San sat up, his eyes narrowing as he stared at you. "Your boyfriend?" he repeated, his tone dripping with bitterness. "After everything that happened, you're just going to go back to him? What about last night? What about us?" 

You felt a pang of guilt at his words, but you forced yourself to meet his gaze. "I... last night, I just needed to get my head off of things," you stammered, your words messy and filled with confusion. "I didn't know what I was doing, I just... I needed to escape, even if just for a moment." 

San's expression hardened, the disappointment in his eyes cutting deep. "So, I was just an escape for you?" he asked, his voice a mixture of hurt and anger. 

You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. "No, it's not like that. You mean so much to me." 

San clenched his fists, taking a deep breath as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "Then what's it like?" San scoffed, his voice filled with a mixture of hurt and disbelief. 

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "It's complicated. I care about you, I really do. But Juyeon... he's been a part of my life for so long. I can't just walk away." 

San's eyes softened slightly, but the tension in his posture remained. "And what about us? What about what we shared last night?" he asked, his voice quieter but still filled with emotion. 

You reached out to touch his hand, your fingers trembling. "Last night was real, San. Every moment of it." 

San closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. "I need to know where we stand, Y/N. Are you just going to forget about what happened between us?" 

You shook your head, tears threatening to spill. "I could never forget. But I need to figure out my feelings, and I need to talk to Juyeon. Please understand." 

San looked down, the pain in his eyes clear. "I understand," he said quietly, his voice tinged with resignation. "Just... don't forget that I'm here for you, no matter what." 

You nodded, your heart aching. "Thank you. I promise I'll figure this out." 

You gathered your things, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on you. As you moved around the room, San watched you silently, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions. You could feel his gaze on you, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet it. When you were finally ready, you turned to him, your heart heavy with regret. 

"I'll be in touch," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. 

San nodded; his expression unreadable. You gave him a small, sad smile before turning and walking out the door, the sound of it closing behind you echoing in the room. You made your way outside, the cool morning air greeted you, a stark contrast to the warmth you had left behind. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions, and waited for Juyeon to arrive. 

♡│if you enjoy my writing please consider supporting me by tagging and reblogging│

♡│requests are open │

[rekino2114]

Sayori x natsuki twin brother!reader who is passive ans shy headcanons?

Sayori x natsuki's brother reader

Sayori first met you when she went to natsuki's house to study with her, she was very surprised to learn her clubmate had a brother much less a twin.

What shocked her even more was how different you were from your sister, while in appearance you looked like a male version of her you acted compliment differently, she expected you to be as aggressive as her but you were so shy instead, you reminded her of Yuri.

She basically adopted you as her friend and did whatever she could to get you out of your shell, like getting you to interact with the other girls in the literature club especially Yuri because of your shared shyness which....went as well as you could expect.

The more time she spent with you the more she started to realize how cute you were and how you made her heart feel warm and fuzzy, she realized she had a crush on you and she decided to confess.

"Hey y/n I need to tell you something, sooooo I might have a crush on you, you're really cute and nice. It's fine if you don't feel the same, I'll still be your friend, I just wanted to get this off my chest"

You told her you felt the same (while blushing profusely) and she immediately pulled you into a very tight hug and kissed you all over your face.

When sayori announced your relationship to her friends Monika and Yuri were really happy for her while natsuki told her to never break your heart or she'll deal with the consequences, while she was pretty protective of you,mostly because of your shyness,she knew sayori was a good girlfriend for you, she even made cupcakes to celebrate!

She's very touchy, clingy, and physically affectionate. She loves to kiss you or hug you even in public, you get red a lot, and she apologizes if you're uncomfortable with it but she's very happy when you reassure her you like it and just need to get used to it.

As your girlfriend sayori tries to get you to interact with others even more, she just wants you to be more confident and make more friends. Still, she'd never make you do something you're uncomfortable with, if you prefer to just stay with her than that's perfectly fine too.

[monikashinswife]

Unexpected Visit (Monika Shin x Artist! Reader)

-The reader is an influential actress/dancer, due to her busy schedule. Their relationship is in jeopardize. How would they fix it?

"Oh babe please?" She said to me almost desperately, "it's been a while since we went out on a date." I sigh as I look at her. Knowing Monika, she usually doesn't do this. She's very independent. And her asking me to go on a date is a huge deal.

I bit my lip as I tried to fight back tears, knowing that I am probably lacking something for her to ask me that herself. I reach for her slowly, "I'm really sorry babe, but this is a huge project for me right now." I explained broken heartedly. I understood that it's been a while since we went out. And it's breaking my heart. As much as I want to take her on a date.

I can't because of my schedule. "Please?" She looked at me with those damn eyes. "Oh God." I groaned as I put my hands on her cheeks. She smiled playfully as she knew the effect that she has on me. I caress her cheeks lovingly.

"As much as I want to, Monika." I said softly, I can feel my heart breaking when I said my next words, "But I can't, babe..." my voice break while saying those words. I continued staring at her beautiful eyes. My heart breaking as I saw the emotion in them. I gave her forehead a lingering kiss.

I close my eyes as I feel her wrap her arms around my waist. I left my lips on her forehead as we cherished this. I tense up when my phone rang. I feel her arms tightening around me. I hugged her back. Giving her head a few kisses.

"I'm really sorry baby. I have to go." I told her. And as much as we both don't want to let go. We had no choice. I have to go film and she also needs to shoot something later.

"I love you okay?" I noticed how she went quiet, but before I could ask her. My phone rang again, I quickly gave her a kiss and gather my things. I hug her for a moment and I hurriedly went to the studio with a heavy heart.

I was greeted by my manager. Luckily the people I'm working with are the people that I knew. And our familiarity with each other resulted to the shoot going smoothly.

"Alright Break!" The head director shouted. I sigh in relief before going back to my trailer. Now feeling the weight of what happened with Monika earlier. I put the script on my vanity, I stare at my phone beside the script.

I bit my nails before looking at myself in the mirror. I gave myself a nod and I messaged Monika.

My hands shaking lightly as I messaged her. For some reason, her message bothered me. Knowing that something is definitely not fine between us.

I gulp as I read her message again. Thinking about her face earlier made me drop everything. I couldn't take it anymore.

I took my things and informed my manager that I am leaving. I quickly messaged the producer of the show that Monika's shooting at the moment.

I asked how many are in the show and bought them foods. I was aware of the show so it didn't surprise me when the producer said the number of participants.

They are filming Street Dance Girls Fighter. I bought Monika a bouquet of her favorite flowers. Still nervous because of what happened. I kept in touch with the producer, asking if I am allowed to enter the studio.

Luckily they allowed me. I toughened as I enter the set. I chatted with the producer for a moment before I was told that the foods that I ordered for them are here.

The producer told me that he would love for me to enter the shoot. And he knew why I came here. I thanked him.

He told the Kang Daniel to introduce a surprise visitor. And when the MC announced it with full energy. The stage door opened. Revealing me.

And the crowd made such a loud noise. Then Dj Som played a hiphop song that is one of my signature dance. And to make it interesting, I gave them a show.

High School girls are different type of fan. They were full of energy and I'm glad that I am able to gave them a worthy impromptu performance with the bouquet in hand as I dance to the rhythm.

The cheers continued after I was introduced. I smiled at the familiar faces of the dancers who are also our friends. They clap at the surprise.

And then I turn to look at the shocked Monika. She's adorable, her stoic facade long gone as genuine shock is written on her face. I smiled sweetly as I approached her.

"Hey..." I said softly. I gave her the flowers. And she looked at them confused. "I'm really sorry love." The people suddenly disappeared and it's just the two of us in this world. I kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry." I whispered, I really wanna make it up to her.

And everyone was surprised to see the strict and intimidating Monika all soft and lovely with you. They awed at the interaction.

After that, the mc continued to explain the next mission for the girls. And the producer told me to sit with PROWDMON in the meantime as the show continued.

The moments of me and Monika were closely watched by the cameras. The way we both would look at each other while talking. The way Monika would scoot closer to me.

Every time I would try to appeal for PROWDMON and Monika's cute reaction as she saw how I could be quite persuasive when I want to. The way I would ask Monika and her members from time to time if they are alright.

The way we would wrap one arm around each other's waist. And how the calm Monika sometimes put her chin on my shoulder as I excitedly watch the girls perform.

The camera captured every interaction we had. And they all felt the love we have for each other. The other crews are very much aware of what's been happening to us and they are just happy that we're alright. And also thanks to this unexpected visit, people saw the serious Monika's other side.

-

(Not proofread, I just finished this rn😭)

[strobichie]

just sae.

♡⸝⸝ summary: poor you decided to replay ddlc, but something seems wrong... why is monika sae?

little note: bachira is sayori, rin is natsuki, and isagi is yuri!!

your perspective:

i had recently gotten a new computer, there are so many things i still need to work with and customise to my liking.

so, to cure my boredom, i'm installing ddlc again and replaying it!

my favourite character is natsuki, i absolutely loved how adorable and relatable she just is. she reminded me of one of the kids i babysat.

after installing the win files i extracted them all and started the game up, as usual, i see the 4 dokis on the main screen on startup.

i entered my name of choice and started the game ---

wait, bachira??? FROM BLUE LOCK??

why was he sayori? not gonna lie, his sprites are really cute, but how..??

i re-checked the website i downloaded the game from but it displayed the 4 dokis there and there was nothing wrong..

huh, why am i being scared?

i should be grateful, honestly.

i've been blessed by the gods above!! for once i'm fucking lucky!

no way was i gonna pass up the opportunity to interact with my favourite anime characters especially since they somehow ended up in my favourite childhood game..!

i wonder who natsuki, yuri, and monika would be, though?

this is interesting! as i progress even more reading the dialogues and clicking on the chat box, after a few minutes of suffering i finally got to the literature club with bachira!

"seriously, a girl? way to be a killjoy." rin... RIN?!?!?!?!?!

OH MY GOD RIN IS SO HOT? HIS ATTRACTIVENESS SCALE WENT TO 100 TO 1000 SO QUICK!!

wait.. could that mean ---

ISAGI IS YURI!! YES!! MY FAVOURITES ALL IN ONE ROOM!!

i hope monika is kaiser or even better, anri..!!

gosh this got me feelin' so giddy and chipper in the early fucking morning..

i skipped a few of the dialogues, and abruptly stopped when a certain person came into view.

...sae? really?

what an eyesore. i hate sae, of all people, why sae?

sure he was similar to monika, but only in appearance. kaiser or anri could have been able to fulfill this role.

i sighed in annoyance, at least i have rin and the others...

i continuously skipped many dialogues and had finally gotten to the part where sayori, or in this situation bachira, hangs himself..

right, this was a horror game after all. did i really forget about the main plot?

i stared at the screen with an obvious frown. rin and isagi are next..

and the person behind all this was saeshit. ugh, seriously... well, good thing i can just delete his files at any given time.

progressing through the story even further, i got a special poem and cringed at the 'drawing'. it was bachira hanging in a humorous manner.

this was unfortunate.

i clicked on the chat box endlessly, wanting to speedrun to the moments of all my favourite characters deaths..

seeing rin crack his neck and isagi stab himself looking like a crazed maniac broke my heart. good things don't last.. this will probably be the last time i'll ever be able to play this version of the game.

then, here sae was, fuck was he smiling for?

"let me take a quick one of rin's cupcakes, these such are really good for a brother so shitty and nasty." i scoffed and gritted my teeth in anger, sae was clearly the asshole in their brother-ship.

i was met face-to-face with sae, i pursed my lips and stared at my computer screen.

"it's nice to talk to you even if it's by a dialogue box." is this even real?

"i know that you're thinking: is this legitimate? to answer your question, yes it is. i became self aware after everything in that god damn manga and anime called blue lock, i felt sick and tired of not being able to show up in the manga after a long period of time. somehow, i found a way to break the barrier between the fictional animanga world and reality as you call it." that was a mouthful. he was pretty talkative now. my burning hatred for sae cooled down a bit as he spoke more ---

"i found this 'cutesy romance horror' game and it had all the things i needed in order to cross over to the real world. this version of the game only exists on your desktop, {user}. is {user} even your name? are you even a girl?" he shot me a confused expression.

"honestly, i don't care anymore. even i started falling in love with you. i thought i wasn't capable of love, just like the original character monika, i fell in love with you." this sent a shiver down my spine, i sweat-dropped and continued reading his dialogues.

"you read that right, i love you. even if i'm not real, i love you. i won't ever let you leave me. i'll kill you even if you think of it." he coldly stated and i opened my file explorer, ready to delete his character file --- huh.. why couldn't i delete it?

"i'm disappointed, why would you wanna try to delete me? i love you, you should be grateful i love you." but i hated sae, i hate him!

"i've been practicing for a while, i think i can finally break the laws of physics and rules of nature between our worlds." uhm, does he even know what the fuck's he saying?

"i'll see you soon, goodbye {name}. i love you." HOW DID HE GET MY NAME? DID HE HACK INTO MY COMPUTER BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK..?!?!?!

i was scared shitless, jesus christ, just what did he mean by all that? i force shut down my computer and rolled to my bed covering myself in my blankets. time to go back to sleep after that eventful experience.

short little fic, should i make a part two?

finally made a part 2!

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Saw your post about jaunes extended family. Now I think we need to see _NPR's family

_NPR Extended Family

Please bear in mind that That was only a small part of Jaune's very, VERY big family tree

~Nora~

Neptune: God I hate the ocean.

Sun: Calm down, It's not like there's anything nearby that'll eat you.

Nora: Zippy! C'mon boy! I got your Favorite! Electric Eel!

Zippy (Depth): *Breaches, Snatches Eel, Dives back in the Water*

Neptune: ...

Sun: ... Let's- Let's head back to ... anywhere but the coast.

Neptune: Good- Good plan, Good plan!

~~~~~

Nora: *Trying to lift a Semi Truck* HHRRRG!

Denki (MHA/BNHA): You got this Nora! C'mon! Here- Let me help!

Denki: CHARGE OF 7000 VOLTS!

*CRACK*

Nora: RRAGGH! *Throws Semi into Orbit*

Denki: ... Uuuhhh ...

Nora: Well ... We moved the Truck?

~~~~~

Nora: Auntie! I found a Man!

Urbosa (LOZ: BOTW): Really? Might he be nearby?

Nora: *Lifting Ren above her head*

DA DA DA DAAAA~

You got a Boyfriend!

Try not to break before the second kid ...

Ren: Uhm. Hello ma'am.

Urbosa: Hah! You and the Princess have such similar tastes, Nora.

Ren: ... I'll take that as a compliment.

Urbosa: *smirking* Good. It was intended to be one.

~Pyrrha~

Pyrrha: Aunty? Are you Here?

???: In the Greenhouse, Pyrrha.

Pyrrha: *walking into the greenhouse* Hello Aunt Ivy! Where's Auntie Harley?

Poison Ivy (DC comics): *Tending to Plants*She's out walking Bruce. What do you need?

Pyrrha: Oh, I just wanted Advice on getting a Boy's attention.

Poison Ivy: Pyrrha, Dear, You are one of the strongest fighters of your generation, and you have the power of magnestism. Anyone who doesn't respect you should fear you, and those that do neither shouldn't be able to mistreat you. You could likely ask this boy to walk off a cliff and he'd do it.

Poison Ivy: You could run this world Dear, and few could stand in your way.

Pyrrha: I- I- I think I should ask my sister- Thank you for the Confidence boost though?

Poison Ivy: You're a poor liar when it comes to yourself. Chin up dear, your Tiara's falling.

~~~~~

Monika (DDLC): Ehehehe~ boys? Pyrrha, you're far and above any Boys! You're strong enough to take on the world!

Monika: Besides, any boy that captures your heart needs to meet Me so I can make sure He's up to my twin's standards~

Pyrrha: I- I know he will-

Monika: Then bring him here, and have him prove it! We wouldn't want some little heartbreaker now would we?

Pyrrha: o-okay Mony. I'm going to tell Makima about it!

Monika: Oooooh ... Okay Then.

~~~~~

Makima (CSM): He sounds Cute. Almost like a dog.

Pyrrha: He does have a certain puppy-doggishness to him, yes, but he's very smart!

Makima: If he was smart, then he would've jumped at the chance to be with you by now

Pyrrha: Well what if he's just scared - he knows how I feel about how the public treats me, so he's also ... Yeah. Yeah! I'm gonna confess to him!

Makima: I don't know-

Pyrrha: No! I'm going to tell him how I feel! Thanks Makima! *Pyrrha leaves*

Makima: ... Shit.

Monika: Nice going. Now we have to compete with her too.

Makima: ... It's easy to beat an opponent who doesn't realize they're playing a game, Little Sister.

Monika: I'd usually suggest removing the player but Pyrrha is ... Different.

Makima: Yes, She is. We'll need to be coercive about this.

Monika: When am I not?

Makima: ... Get out of my room.

~Ren~

Ren: Good morning 'Uncle'

Iroh (ALTA): pah! There's no need for the emphasis. I'd love to be your Uncle, but if you don't feel like you're my nephew, then Don't bother Lying. What's wrong?

Ren: Nothing. Is it too much to want to come see my mentor?

Iroh: No, but I can tell there is still a storm in your heart.

Ren: ... I would not like to talk about it right now.

Iroh: Alright then. I could put tea on. Whatever you'd like.

Ren: Nightshade, if it isn't too much trouble.

Iroh: Daring today, aren't we? Very well then!

~~~~~

Ren: Alex! It's good to see you again! You look ... Happy.

Alex Chen (LiS: True Colors): *Gives Ren a hug* I am. I've- I found someone. It's been wonderful - Her names Steph! You look good too- I can tell you're in a better spot than you were when we were kids.

Ren: Me and Nora have a big Family now- teammates and friends. It's nice.

Alex: All it takes is a little growing up, huh?

Ren: A little growing up, a lot of support- But you knew that didn't you?

Alex: Well, you always did have sharp eyes.

Ren: ... Thanks. That means a lot. Should we get something to eat, or do you want to walk for a bit?

Alex: I'm down for whatever.

~~~~~

Ren:*Cuddling Pikachu*

Red (PKMN): ...

Ren: *Patting Charizard's head*

Red: ...

Ren: *Hugging Venusaur around it's neck*

Red: ...

Ren: *Letting Blastoise chew on his sleeve*

Red: ...

Ren: *Laying on Snorlax's belly*

Red: ...

Ren: *Scritching Lapras*

Red: *Raises Fist*

Ren: *Fist Bump*

~~~~~

If anyone has continuations, feel free to add them!

[mikachacha]

𝙷𝚛𝚜 & 𝙷𝚛𝚜 (𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚔𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚡 𝙸𝚍𝚘𝚕! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

Synopsis: you really didn't believe in love before but then you met Monika who changed your whole view.

Warnings: mentions of abusive past relationships, cursing and suggestive theme 🫶🫶

(A/N: I'm slowly working on the requests i received and hopefully i get all of it done by the first week of December and also thank you to my bestie @sun-nyy for letting me use her name 🥺🥺 love ya bestie 🫶)

🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

You tried to deny it. You tried to fool yourself that you're not falling for your backup dancer, Monika Shin. But then whenever your gaze meets hers, you could feel a spark of electricity flow throughout your system. It's like the more you look at her, the more drawn you are towards her. She makes you feel things you swore that you'll never feel again for someone after your last attempt at a relationship.

"Hey Y/N? Hey.. Are you okay?" you were snapped out of your thoughts as Monika nudged you, handing you your water bottle as you were working on a choreography for your new song.

"Yeah! You hungry? I'm already starving.. Wanna go grab some food together?" you asked and she raised an eyebrow at your question. You normally would just ask if she wanted something and order it but today is different. You actually wanted to go out and buy a meal with her. She wanted to smack herself in the end as a smile made its way to her lips, her delusional heart keeps telling her this is a date and not just a normal meal between co-workers.

"Yeah sure. I'm just gonna go grab our bags then we're off to get some food." she says and you nodded your head. You put on your jacket and watched her gather both your bags. Your eyes wandered to her figure then to her tattooed arms. Oh how much you wanted to wake up being embraced by those arms.

Monika approached you and handed you your bag before both of you went outside and to a nearby restaurant to eat. You had to remind yourself that you're just eating together and it doesn't mean that you're on a date with her even if you want to. It just wouldn't work. Well you wanted to believe that it wouldn't work just because you're scared that she's just gonna break your heart like others did. You didn't want that kind of heartache again. Too messy and you'd rather focus on your career rather than a silly crush.

You didn't expect to spend time and talk with Monika. You planned to grab a quick bite but then it turned to two hours of talking and getting to know each other. Taking pictures and just being silly together. The more you talked to her, the more you wanted for the moment to never end. You could stay there, spend hours talking to her, hearing her laugh and you'll never get bored. You just couldn't get enough of her and she feels the same way unbeknownst to you.

Monika could tell that you're a bit guarded but then that meal together changed a lot of things. You opened up bits of your life that you normally don't share with anyone, some stories before you became this beloved idol that everyone wants and how people broke your heart that made you not believe in love anymore. Monika wanted to just hold you and promise you that she'll never do that but then she also knew that you won't believe words, that you'll need more than words to convince you that love isn't just full of pain.

Weeks go by and you grow closer with Monika. Even on days that you're not practicing the choreography for your new song, you'd often meet up for coffee or just to hang out which felt weird to you but you couldn't stop yourself from going or from inviting her. There were some allegations that you're dating each other which your management tried to shut down but you're often seen with the dancer so it was no use.

"So.. What's really going on with you and Monika? Are you two dating??" Natalia, your best friend and a fellow idol, asked and you just rolled your eyes at her question. Why would she think you're dating Monika? Were you too obvious about your crush or is she being weird?

"What? No! Why would you think that??" You asked and she just laughed at your reaction before looking at Monika then back at you, a knowing smirk on her face.

"Bitch, I have eyes and everyone could agree that you and Monika are really into each other. The way you move around each other, those in love looks and don't get me started on the sexual tension. I'm surprised you haven't slept with her yet." Natalia says and you thought about what she said. Were you that obvious with your feelings for Monika?

"You're being crazy.. Anyways, I'm off to rehearsals because my manager will put me in a sack if I slack off again." you told her and playfully kissed her cheek before jogging off to where Monika is waiting for you.

Meanwhile, Monika watched your whole interaction with Natalia. She couldn't hear what you guys are talking about and she doesn't really care but what you did just made her jealousy boil. She knows you're very close to Natalia, you'd sometimes jokingly tell people that you're girlfriends and would often spam each other's posts with hearts and 'i love you' but seeing you kiss the other idol's cheek really didn't sit well with Monika. She should be the one receiving your kisses. She knows she sounds delusional at the moment but it felt like a huge blow when she saw you kissing someone else, even if it was just on the cheek.

"Hi, are we rehearsing now?" you asked Monika and she just looked at you, face stoic yet there's some anger in her eyes and jealousy before she pulled you inside the studio reserved for your rehearsal. She locked the door and pushed you against the door, her body preventing you from going anywhere and then she kissed you. Her kiss was passionate yet it was also careful enough to not hurt you by accident. You were taken aback by her actions, it didn't fully sink in your brain that Monika is kissing you until she pulls away, forehead resting against yours.

"I'm sorry but I just couldn't stop myself anymore, Y/N.. I've fallen so hard for you.." she apologized and you could swear your heart skipped a beat from her words. So it wasn't a one sided love situation after all. She's also in love with you like how you're in love with her.

"Less talking, do it again.." you told her, arms wrapping loosely around her shoulders and body pressing against hers. Monika just chuckled and pressed a light kiss on your lips that made you pout as you wanted more of her kisses.

"So bossy.. I could spend hours and hours kissing you.." she says before kissing you once more and this time you kissed her back. You don't know how much time passed as you were way too busy making out with Monika. Your manager will be so pissed if she finds out you're just slacking off. That instead of rehearsing, you're just making out with your choreographer without a care in the world but you just told yourself you'll worry about that later. You just wanted to focus on Monika's lips against yours and her arms roaming under your loose shirt.

You only stopped making out because someone knocked on the door. You laughed and helped each other freshen up. You were about to unlock the door when Monika pulled you back and placed a kiss on your nape that sent shivers down your spine.

"Let's go out for dinner later then you can crash at my place if you ever want some kisses.. I don't think you had enough.." Monika whispered to your ear that made your cheeks heat up and a wide smile appeared on your lips.

"I'll take you up on that offer, Ms. Shin.. But just so you know, you won't be able to bribe me with just dates and kisses if you want me to be your girlfriend." you told her and she nodded her head, a smile on her face as she just held you in her arms.

"I know, Y/N.. But just so you wait.. I will love you like no one else has done before so you better be ready." you taught yourself to not believe in words alone but hearing her say those, you could feel your heart believing every single word and holding on to those dearly.

[randomgentlefolk]

CPC CHAPTER 164

I'm crying on the ground. Sobbing with my cat yet again. I feel so peaceful and destroyed at the same time.

Lambcat really said we should start the year with a breakdown huh

I'm gonna hold my breakdown until I talk about the moment.

Lance to the rescue!! Man I love that guy. I also really love how he looks in the panel I put as my pfp. He looks so soft and gentle :')

The interaction between Lance and Lorena is rising my hope that they will still be friends after the chaos ends.

This did caught me off guard lmao 😭 I'm sorry for saying this but is he implying that he has a thick skull because nahh he did himself dirty

Y'ALL IT'S THE MOMENT WE'VE (or at least me haha) ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. Lance!!! Fighting against his kingdom!!! I'm so proud of him YOU GO LANCE!!!

Huge respect for Lance and his friends tho for CARRYING THAT HUGE PILLAR LIKE WHAT. Remember when I said something along the line of "if Frederick say he's weak while he can carry an entire llama, then I'm terrified of what Lance can do"? Yea this just proved my point.

Also I'm going to keep saying that Lance is going to have a sick scar with that x mark.

I once again wonder what is the legal age for alcohol in cpc? In US and the country I live in, the legal age is 21. But I think it's 18 in UK right? If it's 18 in cpc then that makes sense because Lance is 19 and Blaine is 20 (i'm saying this because of the beer pong comment by Lance's friend)

Sheesh, I hope Leland will be defeated from the king position soon. I don't want anyone to be executed. That would be disturbing.

Oooh!! Syrah and Saffron probably showing their fighting skill in the future episodes??? I hope so!!

Thank you Maria! It's nice to see that The pastel siblings now believe that Frederick truly loves Gwen.

Feeling like your legs are paralyzed whenever you're gonna face something you're terrified of is so real :( you can do it, Frederick! I believe in you!!

LELAND CHILL???? MAN YOUR HANDS ARE BLEEDING. Eat a snickers damnit. You're not you when you're going through a heart break xd

Oh. Okay. Ouch. Massive ow. Y'know when I said how the Monika's room episode and Frederick's monologue about what he wants really hits for me? Well add this to the list because wtfff.

Aww Gwegg :( She kept blaming herself even though it really isn't her fault. What Gwen said is pretty comforting though. Them apologizing to each other </3 It really is the shit when you realize you haven't treat yourself kindly. Like when you keep wondering why everything is wrong then you look at your inner self and go "oh. That's why".

GWEN SAYING "No matter what happens, I'll never let go of you again!" HAJWHSIWBS

INTOOOOO LEELATHAE'S BACKSTORY!!

*cue 1996 batman transition*

Aww the births of The Pastel Siblings! Though Leelathae's thought during each of the births...it breaks my heart :( it seems that she view the births of The Pastel Siblings as a way to apologize for her "mistake" (in which she didn't make any mistake at all), even though it shouldn't be like that at all...

I'm surprised no animals appear at Maria's birth lol. I was really expecting for a deer or birds to suddenly appear haha.

This IS making me a bit worried though. I don't know much about child births and stuff but while it is normal to still feel pain after giving birth, is it possible that there were some complications leading to Leelathae's dead 3 years after giving birth to Gwen and Jamie? I'll let someone more knowledgeable to figure out what is happening with Leelathae since I have no idea at all.

Anyway! Finally, a close up on Pastel Siblings as babies!! I know we've seen them before in the portraits beside Jack's bed, but it's nice to see them clearer.

Initially, I was worried how Leelathae would react to Gwen, but nevermind that

I'm so happy about this scene :') Leelathae realizing how beautiful Gwen is, even calling her the most beautiful in all the land. Also her saying as long as Gwen thinks she's beautiful, then what other people think doesn't matter makes me sob. Mother love is always something so touching.

On the other hand though, it made me a little confused now on why she asked Jack to lock up the children and never let them out. Looking at one of the fast pass episode's thumbnail, maybe it's because of the witch? We're nearing the end and there are still so many questions.

And now, INTO THE PRESENT! And the moment....

*cue 1996 batman transition*

I'M. I'M GONNA CRY. The fact that Gwen doesn't recognize Leelathae?? The fact that they're wearing the same robe???

WHEN LAMBCAT SAID THERE WASN'T ENOUGH GUT PUNCHES, SHE WAS BEING FR. I don't have anything to say about this scene, but at the same time I want to say a lot about this scene. Gwen's mom telling her that she's beautiful, Gwen crying without knowing why, I'm going to cry.

But hey, Gwegg is finally whole again! True love kiss is real after all ^_^ i love how Lambcat does a little spin at the classic true love kiss. But now that Gwen is finally awake...Well, let's just wish her, Frederick, Aurelia, and Celso good luck at dealing with the officially confirmed big bad wolf/serpent, Leland.

We kinda should thank Leland a bit, though. If he wasn't there ripping off all of the thorny veins, Gwen would get pretty hurt if she still wakes up while sitting up

Yooo the newest fast pass being the final chapter of Leelathae's diary? I hope we will have our questions answered!! And the fact that there's a witch in the thumbnail...hm.

That's it for now!

Mono out! (But still in to hear your thoughts)

[cheesetalia]

Teach My Heart to Bend Instead of Breaking Day 3: Apocalypse & Saying Good Night

For @hetalia-rarepairweek's Day 3: Apocalypse & Saying Good Night | England/Canada, PrUK, mention of past GerEng | warnings: cheating and dubcon, internalized homophobia and biphobia, NSFT

Summary: Arthur says good night to his wife, but he'd rather be saying good night to Matthew. Rather be falling asleep next to him and looking forward to a day spent together. In a perfect world maybe it could happen...

Can be read on the Archive of Our Own or underneath the Readmore:

Arthur tried to to warm Gilberte up a little, get her in the mood by kissing the back of her neck as she lay facing away from him in their bed, but she lay there stiff as a board, completely unresponsive.

Normally he'd just give up and let it go, but he was unusually horny these days despite having a lover on the side to satisfy him. Sure, he'd gotten a blowjob from Matthew this morning after class, but that was fifteen hours ago, he was more than ready to go again. Since starting his affair with Matt it was like sex was back on his brain and his libido had woken up from a long slumber.

So he slipped one hand under the old band t-shirt Gilberte slept in, feeling one small firm breast, rubbing over her pert little nipples. She still had great tits after all these years, he mused. And he might as well enjoy them. If she didn't want him touching her, she could tell him to stop.

It was when his fingers dipped into the mound inside her panties that she finally bestirred herself, grabbing his hand and shoving it away.

"Knock it off," Gilberte snapped.

"Oh, is it a crime for a man to want to have sex with his wife now?" Arthur replied.

He wasn't surprised by her rejection, or the flare of anger it sent through him, scorching his insides.

It was the disappointment that snuck up on him though. Arthur had thought he'd gotten over expecting this marriage to provide him with anything. Gilberte was a terrible spouse in every way. He should be pleased if anything, to have more proof that he'd done the right thing in giving into his desires with Matthew.

He would never be good enough for Gilberte and no matter what he did, no matter how skillfully he wooed her or tried to make it up to her, she wouldn't come around.

She was never going to let it go that he'd fucked her sister. That was over a year ago and both Arthur and Monika had been extremely drunk at the time. Yet Gilberte didn't blame Monika a bit and acted like it was all Arthur's fault!

'You should have known better you prick! She's barely older than your students!' had been what Gilberte had shouted at him.

As if alcohol affected an older brain any less—she was just looking for excuses to coddle her precious baby sister, the way she always did.

Now, the look she was giving him was the same one she'd given him then, just a little less livid.

"I'm trying to sleep asshole, can't you tell? I don't want to have you poking me with your little cock for five minutes tops then leaving my cunt a sticky mess," Gilberte told him, her red eyes alight with mockery and banked fury.

In the past Arthur might have sat up and taken the bait, traded insult for insult until they were yelling loudly enough to wake the kids and some of the neighbors.

But now Arthur just gritted his teeth and ignored her. He had Matthew now; if Gilberte wanted to give him even more reason to tune out of their relationship that was fine with him. <i>Matthew</i> never had a single complaint about his stamina or lovemaking abilities.

"Fine. Goodnight," Arthur muttered.

She turned back away from him and laid down once more, without saying a word back.

He lay there awake, watching as her breathing slowed and her form relaxed into sleep.

He wished what he'd told Matthew earlier was the truth. That he was planning to serve her divorce papers soon. It would be so sweet to say goodbye to the bitch for the last time and never have to hear her brash, arrogant voice again.

But Peter was only nine, and Arthur would never be the kind of deadbeat dad his own father had been. His kids would have a stable two-parent home, the kind of reassuring home life he'd never had as a kid. He’d been raised on a single mum's salary, stretched to provide for five boys. They never saw their dad again once he walked out and they saw her almost as rarely because she was always working.

He regretted marrying Gilberte—he'd been a rebellious punk as an undergrad when they married, and they'd been of two minds then, but he'd matured, grown up and grown out of the phase, while she stayed the same. It was probably why he had so much trouble with the administration and the other faculty—Gil was completely unsuited to be a professor's wife. She should be charming and well-mannered and help him network and keep abreast of faculty politics and things. But she couldn't even be bothered to shave her legs or pits before wearing a skirt, let alone drop "fuck" from her vocabulary when around university employees.

It's not like she had any real work to do, just cleaning the house and taking care of the kids (he did <i>not</i> consider her little business ventures with Antonia and Francis to be anything other than playing around.)

Maybe if Matthew had been a girl Arthur would plan on dropping Gilberte in a few years, replacing her with girl-Matt (Matilda?) once she was older and graduated and it wouldn't cause a scandal, just a little gossip.

But he'd never consider having a man as a permanent partner. Just, why? Why put up with all the extra drama and disadvantage of being known as a queer man in a gay marriage? Much as he might like fucking around with a guy sometimes (it added a little spice to his life now and then) he enjoyed being with women too so he didn't have to commit to the lifestyle.

Yes, it was a shame Matthew wasn't a girl. He'd have her move in with him, get the kids used to their future stepmum. He'd be saying goodnight to her now after a second round of lovemaking, easily drifting into sleep in her sweet arms instead of being unhappily awake next to Gilberte.

[jernigans]

𝘗𝘓𝘖𝘛 𝘊𝘈𝘓𝘓. ⤸

my direct messages are always open in regards to my plot call as well as pitching ideas for your own plots involving my characters. discord available on request to further plot or just talk about wrestling in general. please note that the mun is a slut for writing all things whether it be fluff, angst, smut, drabbles, collabs and so on. this is a general plot call for the following muses: anna jay, izzi dame , isla dawn & karmen petrovic. | click below for more details. ↓

anna jay ( @jernigans ) * most plots for anna are currently open. 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒: - best friend. [ OPEN ]someone that anna can talk to about anything and everything & someone that can, in return, talk to anna about anything and everything. no topic is ever off limits and all secrets are kept private. - romantic interest. [ OPEN ]rest assured that if anna is in love, that love runs deep. open to having a toxic relationship with a lot of rough starts & stops. hot and cold. are they or aren't they? open to polyships. - the ex. [ OPEN ] someone that anna stalks on social media from time to time just to see what they are up to. obviously there is still some form of attachment there, whether she will openly admit to it or not. - enemy. [ OPEN ]there won't be any mixed signals with this one. if anna does not like you -- you'll know it undoubtedly. - mentor. someone that's been in the business for 10+ years preferred. anna idolizes the diva's era as it was the one she's most acquainted with. - always seeking more friendships, too.

izzi dame ( @frankizzi ) * some plots for franki are currently open. 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒: - best friends there will be lots of gossip and general mean girl snarky attitude with this one. prepare for lots of drama being shared and a lot of secrets being spilled. - romantic interest. spoil her. it's that simple. prepare for a brat if she doesn't get what she wants. - the ex. [ OPEN ] ew, get away. don't remind her she ever even went there. - enemy. [ OPEN ] get checked. get wrecked.

isla dawn ( @unhclydepths ) all plots for courtney are currently open. 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒: - best friend. [ OPEN ]spend the night just to wake up early to go to Disney together. Taylor Swift playlists will be exchanged as well as swapping outfits from time to time. - romantic interest. [ OPEN ]the trust issues are massive. the insecurities will run wild. this will be a rocky romance for the ages. they will be charged with putting back the pieces to a heart they did not break. open to polyships. - the ex(es). [ ALWAYS OPEN FOR MORE MESSY EXES ]oh unrequited love, how it hurts. she will not ever be able to be friends with a former lover. point, blank, period. expect to have lots of sub posts containing quotes, soft digs, heartache and song lyrics. faceclaim request: MALAKAI BLACK requests are suggestions & absolutely not deal breakers. - enemy. [ OPEN ] will suffer in silence on this one. might be a few squabbles here and there.

karmen petrovic ( @karmenxt ) * all plots for monika are currently open. 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒: - best friend [ OPEN ] lots of shopping and in-ring training / working out together. prepare to hear all about monika's canadian olympic stories, over and over. - romantic interest [ OPEN ] relatively easy romance or hot & cold angst. totally up to you which direction this connection leads. open to polyships. - mentor [ OPEN ] someone that monika can take advice from, both in and out of the ring.

[saintsir4n]

9

keep liking and commenting pls!

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF PARENTAL NEGLECT AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE

CALYPSO woke up to a bedside table full of necklaces. Elspeth reportedly told her son to get one that looks like her priceless dove. Some were various birds, the rest were very similar but Calypso knew and she wouldn't wear another, so she was without her dove.

Felix had been apologising on behalf of his mother, annoyed that she thought this was a good solution when he had been up all night searching whilst his love slept burdened with nightmares. He regretfully questioned the birthday boy throughout the night before giving up to catch some rest.

When he woke he mentioned how he had talked to Oliver's mum and how she sounded coherent, and healthy, making Calypso's suspicions grow. Felix had answered the call when Oliver hadn't been around and considered taking him as a birthday present and Calypso didn't hesitate to agree.

"It's the only family he has left. He should see her for his birthday," Calypso encouraged, standing between his legs as he finished spraying his aftershave.

"Yeah, that's really nice of you Cali. Really sweet," his infectious smile grew on her face.

Her heart swelled at the praise, "You know me."

"Yes, I do. And I'm sorry about the necklace. I told mum to leave it but she insisted that a Lady's neck shouldn't be bare and she got so used to seeing you with one so."

"It's fine. Trust me, it was only a nervy b, we all have one, I just did over a necklace," her hands senselessly reached to palm neck.

Noting her dimming mood he pressed kisses, trailing from her lips down to her bare spot.

"I know it meant a lot to you," he mumbled against her honey-scented skin.

"Sir James said as they set up the party, we'll look to see if there are any doves so I don't miss my necklace."

He beamed, "How nice."

She nodded, "Very, drive safe and keep your phone on."

"I love you," Felix said, standing up and bringing her to a warm embrace.

"I love you too."

___

Calypso spent the day, listening to Lily Allen, trying to calm her mood but it did the opposite. All she could think about was Oliver. She hated him. Farleigh was gone, and Venetia wouldn't read between the lines until it was too late. Oliver drank their bath water...allegedly, he clung to Felix like a shadow, was he obsessed? In love? Or did he just want to be him? She had a feeling he took her necklace, and wanted to make her look insane, so she had to behave the exact opposite. Summer break was ending, and she wanted to graduate and make her parents acknowledge an achievement.

So she would play along with the game she was convinced Oliver was playing. Dress up for his party shortly after she and Sir James concluded their bird watching. Monika would be showing up soon and no doubt to see both her and Farleigh.

So that begged the question, would Farleigh be allowed back?

"Farleigh," she said, looking over at his uncle.

Sir James snapped his head towards her, pulling back his binoculars and settling down his snacks.

"Did you say something dear?"

"He made a mistake," no he didn't. "He's an idiot," no he isn't. "And he loves you all," no he doesn't. "Is he allowed to come back? He's family and should attend an event his family is hosting right?"

Sir James stammered for a moment, "My capricious nephew will attend tonight's festivities."

He in actuality, had felt tremendously guilty for sending Farleigh away without being certain of his crimes and had been planning on inviting him back already.

"Oh," Calypso breathed out, grateful she didn't have to do much to change his mind. "That's great."

"And apologies for the loss of your beloved necklace."

She offered him a small smile, "I wish we saw a dove before they leave for September."

"We must keep hope Calyspo," he squeezed her shoulder as they looked across the green, now being flooded full of decorations.

"Yes, I must."

"And I was on the phone with your father," he missed the hurt swimming through her eyes. "He said he was unaware you were here."

She gulped and bowed her head, "I told him before. He must not have been listening."

"Well, he knows now," he reassured, although she thought her father would neglect to care,  "Ooh, I must hurry, put on my suit of honour before the guests start arriving."

"It will look splendid."

He smiled gratefully in response.

___

An hour went by, and Calypso was freshly waxed, make-up delicately applied and costume lightly resting against her figure. A stunning ivory butterfly corset shimmered against her toned torso, with a pearl skirt encircling her waist and barely covering her behind with a sheer undercover. She topped off her slutty angel costume with glistening wings and cute white hair jewellery to complement her flowing braids.

As she was finishing spraying glitter spray on her legs, an uncharacteristically annoyed Felix threw open her room door.

"Honey, how was the trip? I take it didn't go well," she shuffled over after he made sure the door shut behind him.

"You look angelic," he would've been salivating if it wasn't for him reeling at the lies he'd been told. He made sure to compliment her first, it was impossible not to. His palms were sweaty and his heart raced. "And no it didn't go well," he gently kissed a kiss to her lips before flopping onto her bed.

Calypso internally screamed as she straddled his waist, looking like the goddess he knew she was, the only thing missing was her necklace.

"What happened?"

"You were right," Felix groaned when she trailed kisses over his neck. "Oliver is a snake. He's leaving after his party."

Calypso's eyes twinkled with mirth, "Good. he'll be gone and we'll be alone at last. Happier than ever."

He agreed, "Happier than ever."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

a/n:

https://pin.it/3vgFtX3sh (the top that she's wearing) https://pin.it/7xN0UiMOa (her wings) https://pin.it/31LSKbTkT (pearl skirt) https://pin.it/pZWG5h5y1 (hair)

happier than ever... in this world is that possible? but can we have a little commotion for calypso danforth everyone?!

[alex-rambles]

HIIII!!! can you do a Sayori x gn! reader where reader stops Sayori from playing Hangman with herself? I live for hurt/comfort and I LOVEEE the way you write the ddlc characters!

Yep. Now, if Sayori is dating reader, we assume MC is nonexistent, which causes issues as to why Monika made her do that, so we'll pretend Monika wanted you instead.

Reader is gender neutral

BIG TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE

"I love you, I'm sorry."

You stare at the text, trying to figure out what it means, before it clicks.

Oh, god no, no.

"Mom I gotta go I promise I'll explain later."

You ignore your mom's protests and slam the door behind you, running towards Sayori's house desperately.

No cars, her parents must not be home.

Door is locked.

You fumble with the knob before just kicking in a window and run towards her room. Her door is unlocked, thank god. You (not so gently) open the door, to find your girlfriend hanging there, clawing at the rope.

You run over and grab her, pushing the chair back under her.

"Y/N..." she gasps, still clutching the rope. "How did you get in? I locked the d-"

"Shut up. Not in a rude way, just... get air in your lungs for me. I'm going to call an ambulance, okay? We'll talk while they come."

"...okay."

She looks down, seeming almost ashamed.

You quickly call an ambulance for her, then look back over.

"Sayori, can you tell me why?" you ask, grasping her hand gently.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't apologize. It's okay, it's okay. Lets get this knot untied so you can sit..."

You quickly undo the admittedly well tied hangman's noose.. She seems to have practiced, which makes you shudder. Apparently, even her death had to be done perfectly.

"Alright, just lay your head on my lap... There we go. We comfy?"

"Mhm..."

She starts crying. A mess of apologies spills out of her, as her tears soak your pants.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry..."

You stroke her hair. "I know. Don't apologize to me, apologize to yourself. You have such a great life ahead of you!"

She nods, pulling her shirt up over her face as she continues sobbing.

You examine her hands. "Your fingers are bleeding. How long were you there?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry!"

"Okay, okay, that's fine. Why did you want to die?"

You here sirens. They're not here yet, but they're close.

Your phone dings. Probably your mom wondering what the hell happened.

"Because... I don't know! You-you're always so perfect... and I don't deserve you! You'd be so much happier without me! You'd be so happy with Yuri, or maybe Natsuki... Monika seems to like you, I think! But you chose me, and I don't know why! You probably just pity me! I was so happy you said you liked me too, but-"

You cut her off. "Sayori. I really do love you. I don't just 'pity' you. I'm sure I do a little bit, but that's not why I wanted to date you, you know that, right?"

"It's... not?"

She seems surprised, and that breaks your heart.

"Oh, Sayori..."

You continue playing with her hair, murmuring, "You're a ray of sunshine. What would me and everyone else in the Literature Club think if you went and died on us?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N," she cries softly once again.

"Please don't apologize to me. Let's go outside, the paramedics should be here soon."

She nods, and so you carefully walk her out to her driveway seconds before the ambulance finally appears.

"Are you family?" the paramedic asks you.

"No, I'm her partner," you anseer

"Okay. She can walk okay, correct?"

"Yes ma'm."

"Alright."

The woman turns to Sayori. "Alright so, we're going to..."

You stare until she's loaded onto a stretcher, and watch even more as if drives into the distance, until the sirens fade completely.

[03jyh23]

— 2 soon || kim hongjoong part 1

<part 2>

goes to waste the series based on my favourite keshi songs

(listen here)

idol!hongjoong x non-idol!reader

synopsis: years after choosing his career over you, hongjoong still finds himself haunted by the memories of you. your relationship is a constant dance of on and off, and you cannot stay away from him.

genre: lovers to strangers to ?, angst, smut

trigger warnings: cussing/mature language, break-ups, toxic relationships, possessiveness, toxic jealousy, sex as a coping mechanism, excessive alcohol usage, emotional manipulation, obsession, verbal aggression, emotional distress, mentions of clubbing, career-related stress, explicit sexual content: making out, protected sex (condom), mentions of using birth control, pet names baby, princess, handjob, blowjob, hair pulling, neck kisses, dirty talk, nipple play (?), missionary

words: 12.8 k

reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! after several intense days of work, it's finally here! the first part of the goes to waste series! while writing 2 soon, i had many negative thoughts and was very self-critical. im still not sure if i did a good job - especially when it comes to smut. smut is the genre where i probably will never feel good enough, but believe me, im really trying. the second part is already in the process of being written. im handing this over to you; thank you very much for such a warm reception of this series, and i hope you'll enjoy it. and please let me know if i missed any trigger warnings for the sexual content!

love, monika. ♡

if you enjoyed this post, i’d be so grateful for a little love – a like, reblog or comment would truly make my day!

taglist: @skittyneos @kyeos4ng @vcutparis

one

There you were, unexpectedly positioned in a scenario you never once imagined you would find yourself in. It was the middle of the night, the hour when all was quiet and still. Your ordinarily vibrant living room was dimmed, with only a single floor lamp in the corner casting long, dramatic shadows across the room. You were nestled into the corner of the worn-out comfortable sofa, hugging a pillow close as if it were your only lifeline. The only sounds filling the silence were the words from your boyfriend, each one hanging heavy in the cold air. You were painfully aware of what was coming, a gut-wrenching feeling of imminent heartbreak washing over you. The reality of the situation was that there was no escaping this conversation, no possibility of emerging unscathed. The knowledge that Hongjoong was about to shatter your heart into pieces was a bitter pill to swallow. This moment was the beginning of an end you had never anticipated. And it was happening tonight.

"The company believes that you will become a distraction," Hongjoong said, his voice laced with an undercurrent of tension.

"I don't give a damn about your stupid company," you retorted, your hand trembling and your eyes welling up with tears that threatened to spill over at any moment. "I wasn't a distraction all these years when you were a trainee, so why am I suddenly one now?" Hongjoong paced nervously across the room, his movements betraying his inner turmoil. He was torn between the company and you, and he didn't know how to navigate this minefield.

"Y/N..." he sighed heavily, his hand running through his hair in a nervous gesture. "Now that Ateez is gaining more attention after our first prize win and the new album coming soon, the company..." he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. "They believe I need to remain more focused."

"I don't fucking care about what they think, Hongjoong!" you shouted, your voice cracking with the weight of your emotions. "You think I give a damn about their opinion?" you continued, your voice rising with each word. "They don't know us, they don't know what we've been through. All they see is some stupid company policy, but they don't see the love that we share." Tears welled up in your eyes as you spoke, the pain of the situation threatening to consume you whole. You had never felt so helpless, so powerless.

"Please, try to calm down. You're not making this any easier," Hongjoong pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.

''I don’t fucking believe that after almost three years they decided I will become a problem...'' Your voice cracked, tears finally spilling down your cheeks. Hongjoong looked at you, his eyes filled with sorrow and regret. It was clear that this conversation was tearing him apart just as much as it was you. "Hongjoong, do you believe what they're saying?" you asked, your voice filled with a mixture of fear and desperation. "Do you think they're right?"

He paused, his back still turned towards you. "I... I don't know, Y/N," he confessed, his voice barely audible. "What if they are right?" The question hung in the air, a haunting doubt that only added to the heartache. Your heart pounded in your chest, the words echoing in your mind.

"You already believed them…'' you asserted, your voice tinged with a hint of defiance. ''I can't believe that you see me as a distraction now." With a frustrated cry, you grabbed the pillow and hurled it across the room, the action serving as a physical release for the pent-up anger and despair that threatened to consume you. "Fuck it, Hongjoong," you choked out, tears streaming down your cheeks. "I need you to choose me. I need you to fight for us, for our love. Because if you don't, then what's the point of any of this?"

There was a long silence before he finally spoke. "I...I need to do what's best for my career," he answered softly, sounding utterly defeated. "And if that means that we..." his voice trailed off and he didn't finish the sentence. You felt a lump in your throat and fought back the tears.

''So, you’re going to leave me?'' Hongjoong turned to face you, his eyes filled with a mixture of sorrow and resignation.

"What else am I supposed to do?" Hongjoong's eyes flickered with pain as he met your gaze, his own turmoil reflected in the depths of his gaze. "I can't lose my career, Y/N! It's everything I've worked for.'' His words cut through you like a knife, searing through your heart. You had always known that his career was important to him, but you had never imagined that he would be willing to sacrifice your relationship for it. ''I’m sorry, Y/N,'' he managed to say, his voice filled with regret. ''I have to do this.''

"Just say it already..." Your voice was shaky, the tension in the room was palpable, and the silence that followed was deafening.

"I want to break up," Hongjoong finally said, his voice barely audible but clear enough for you to hear.

Your voice broke as you responded, "If this is your decision, then I'm not going to fight it. I won't beg you to stay, Hongjoong." The room was filled with a painful silence after your words. The reality of what was happening hit you both, but you stood your ground. "No, I won't beg," you affirmed, your voice steady despite the tears streaming down your face. "If this is what you've chosen, then I have no right to stop you. But remember this, Hongjoong, love is not a distraction. It's what keeps us human." He looked at you, his eyes welling up with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he whispered, the regret in his voice tangible.

"I need you to leave," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. The room fell silent again. With a heavy sigh, Hongjoong cast a long, lingering glance in your direction, his eyes filled with a sadness he had never felt before. You couldn't meet his gaze, your own eyes fixated on the worn-out fabric of the couch, your hands clenched tightly in your lap.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," he repeated, his voice just as quiet as yours. He hovered for a moment, as if waiting for you to say something else, offering him a way out of this situation. But there was nothing more to be said. The decision had been made.

"I'm sorry too, Hongjoong," you whispered into the silence, your voice trembling. The words echoed in the quiet room, a bitter acknowledgment of the pain that both of you were feeling. Slowly, Hongjoong headed towards the door, his steps heavy and uncertain. Each footstep felt like a punch to your heart, amplifying the emptiness that was beginning to set in. As the front door opened, a shiver went down your spine. With one last look, Hongjoong closed the door behind him, leaving you alone in the quiet apartment. The silence was deafening, the absence of his presence felt like a void. You sat there, motionless, the harsh reality of what had just happened slowly sinking in. Eventually, you rose from the couch, your legs feeling like jelly. You switched off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. You could still feel the remnants of Hongjoong's presence, the memories of your time together felt almost tangible. But, he was gone. And you were left to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart, alone. Your small apartment never felt lonelier.

two

The room was dimly lit by a single lamp, casting shadows everywhere. Hongjoong sat on the hotel floor, his heart ached like a heavy stone in his chest, echoing the raw, jagged pain of an all-too-fresh wound. Next to him sat a half-empty bottle of whiskey, its strong liquor failing to dull the hollow gnawing pain that gripped him. For the past few months, Hongjoong had been busier than he'd ever been. Recording sessions that kept him up all night, followed by grueling dance practices to perfect choreography. Once ATEEZ’s first studio album was finally out, there was an endless string of fan sign events and meetings. Then, his dreams came true — they announced a world tour. Hongjoong was so busy that eating and sleeping felt like a luxury. He was happy, but not completely. Something was always missing. You were missing. Hongjoong'd become a master at hiding his pain from the world. So good, in fact, that he'd even managed to hide it from himself. But even as busy as Hongjoong was with his career, there were moments when he couldn't help but constantly think about you. And in those small moments every song that he wrote, every dance he choreographed, every performance he gave, you were always on his mind. Hongjoong was haunted by your memories, by the love he had lost. And even if he was being so good at hiding his emotions, his bandmates could see the change in him. They saw the sadness in his eyes, the heaviness in his steps, the emptiness in his laughter. But they said nothing, respecting his silence, knowing that this was a battle he had to fight on his own. Now, it’s been over six months since he broke up with you. Since he had chosen his career over your love, ambition over affection. He believed it was the right decision, but it did not lessen the pain of his heartbreak.

Hongjoong's eyes fell on his phone, lying innocently on the carpet. He had been contemplating it for hours, his heart pounding with apprehension. He longed to reach out to you, to hear your voice again and beg for forgiveness. Everything seemed so pointless without you. His dreams and ambitions felt hollow and meaningless. The fame, the success, the love from fans all over the world — none of it mattered. Because without you by his side, sharing in his joy and success, it all felt empty. All he could think of was the sweet sound of your laughter, the warmth of your touch, the comfort of your presence. And the longer he was without you, the more he realized how much he had lost. Taking a shaky breath, Hongjoong gathered the courage to pick the phone up, dialed your number with unsteady fingers, and pressed the call button. Eight rings echoed in his ears, each one a chance to hang up, to retreat, to save himself from the impending heartache. But he didn't. He couldn't.

"Hello?"

"H-hey," His voice wavered, barely more than a whisper, "How... how you been? How you doing?" His heart pounded against his ribs. The room felt smaller with every passing second as if the walls were closing in on him. Hongjoong gripped the phone tighter, his knuckles turning white as if holding onto it was the only thing keeping him grounded at that moment.

"I've been... okay," your voice was guarded, a stark contrast to the warmth it used to hold when you spoke to him. "Just... keeping busy, you know." Your heart was pounding loudly, so loud you were scared Hongjoong was going to hear it on the other side of the phone. You tried to steady your breathing, focusing on each exhale and inhale. There was silence on the other end. You could almost picture Hongjoong there, sitting in the dimly lit room, phone in hand, as he grappled with your words. The silence stretched on and for a moment.

"I've... I've been drinking," he confessed, a bitter laughter escaping his lips. "Thought I'd be over you by now... but I'm not. I can't be." His voice cracked, raw emotion spilling out. There was a pause again, a silence that seemed to last forever.

"Hongjoong..." you murmured, your voice filled with a detached understanding that was almost more painful than the silence before. "You... You shouldn't be drinking, Hongjoong," you said softly, concern seeping into your voice despite your best efforts to keep it neutral.

"I miss you," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "I... I know I caused you pain. I know I can't turn back time. But I... I can't imagine a life without you." The line went silent once again, except for his ragged breath and the deafening beat of his heart. Hongjoong held his breath, waiting, knowing that your next words could either set him free or push him further into his torment. Despite the distance, despite the coldness in your voice, he thought he detected a hint of lingering affection for him. It was subtle, nearly imperceptible, but it was there. A slight hesitation in your voice before you spoke, a soft sigh he barely caught. It gave him a glimmer of hope, but also a sea of despair. Because he knew that even though you might still harbor feelings for him, his choices had wounded you.

"I miss you too," you said, your voice so quiet that he almost missed the words. And in that moment, he knew that you felt the pain just as sharply as he did. Despite the remnants of love between you, you were both trapped in this cycle of regret and longing, both victims of his ambition. He longed to tell you that he loved you, that he was ready to give up everything to be with you. But the words wouldn't come. Because he knew he couldn't. He couldn't let go of his career, but he couldn't let go of you either. And so, he found himself stuck in this self-destructive cycle, driven by his own choices and his inability to let go of the past. The burden of his decisions hung heavy in the silence. His heart ached with unspoken words and the bitter sting of regret.

"I want to see you..." Hongjoong whispered into the phone, as he took another swig of the whiskey, the bitter liquid burning his throat, a fitting punishment for his mistakes. He closed his eyes, the image of your face clear in his mind, the memory of your laughter echoing in his ears. He missed you. He missed you more than he could put into words, more than he could bear. But all he had were his dreams and ambitions, the things he chose over you. ''I don’t know what I’m expecting'' All Hongjoong knew was that he missed you and that no amount of fame or success could fill the void you left in his heart.

"I... I want to see you too," you responded, soft and hesitant, yet filled with a longing that mirrored his own. Since the day Hongjoong left, your world had changed drastically, nothing felt the same. You tried to move on, to heal and rebuild your life without him. But it seemed like every time you made a little progress, something related to ATEEZ would unexpectedly appear, pulling you back into the memories of him. It was as if the universe was conspiring to ensure Hongjoong remained an inescapable part of your life, refusing to let you forget him.

"I don't know if this is a good idea...but, can we meet?" Hongjoong held his breath, waiting for your response, the silence between you two stretching out into a deafening void.

"Okay," you finally whispered back, the single word carrying a world of hope and fear, a promise of a reunion fraught with uncertainties and unspoken feelings. A wave of relief washed over Hongjoong, followed by a pang of anxiety. He had so many things he wanted to say to you, so many apologies to make, so many feelings to confess. But he feared that it might be too late, that the damage he had caused was irreparable. He swallowed hard, the lump in his throat making it difficult for him to speak.

"Thank you," he managed to whisper, his voice barely audible. "I'll be back home in a few weeks, I’ll see you then?"

"Yeah...yeah, I'll see you then," you replied softly, your voice tinged with a mixture of anticipation and apprehension. "Take care of yourself, Hongjoong.''

The call ended, leaving Hongjoong alone in the dimly lit room once again. He sat there, staring at his phone, his heart heavy with a mix of relief, fear, and longing. He didn't know if this was the beginning of a new chapter or the closure of an old one. All he knew was that he needed to see you. He needed to say the things he had been unable to say for the past six months. And most importantly, he needed to apologize.

three

The interminable weeks you anxiously awaited for Hongjoong's return seemed to mercilessly drag on, transforming into a seemingly endless expanse of time. In truth, the past few months without him felt like an eternity, every moment punctuated by his absence. After the initial shock of your breakup, which shook you to your core, you managed to shake off the immobilizing numbness that it brought. Once the initial shock was dealt with, you allowed yourself to fall into a routine, an everyday pattern of activities that became your lifeline in these challenging times. This routine, mundane as it might have been, was the only thing that kept you going, the only thing that kept you sane amidst the tumult of emotions that threatened to consume you. It was your anchor in a sea of chaos, providing a sense of normalcy in a world that, without Hongjoong, felt anything but normal. So, when you saw the news that ATEEZ had returned from their tour, it took you by surprise. You thought Hongjoong would call you straight away, that he would want to see you as much as you wanted to see him. You were holding on to the thought of seeing the man you loved again, of finding closure, or perhaps a new beginning. But the call didn't come, and with each passing day, your hope dwindled a little more. The silence was deafening, filling you with a sense of dread and disappointment. But despite everything, you continued to wait, clinging on to the hope of hearing from him. Days turned into weeks, and the silence from Hongjoong was deafening. You tried to keep yourself busy, to distract your mind from the painful thoughts that threatened to consume you. You began to question his intentions, wondering whether he really meant what he said during the phone call. Did he truly miss you, or was it just a moment of weakness? Did he genuinely want to see you, or was he simply trying to ease his guilt? Your mind was a whirlpool of questions, doubts, and insecurities. You felt like you were trapped in a never-ending cycle of hope and despair. Despite the emotional turmoil, you couldn't bring yourself to reach out to him first. You weren't ready to face the possibility of rejection, the fear of him telling you that he had moved on and that the phone call was a mistake. So, you waited, hoping against hope that he would contact you.

One evening, while you were trying to drown your sorrows in a sad movie and a tub of ice cream, the doorbell rang, startling you out of your thoughts. Your heart pounded in your chest as you got up to answer it. As you swung the door open, there he was. Hongjoong stood on your doorstep, looking just as nervous and scared as you felt. You were taken aback, not having expected him to show up at your doorstep. You felt a mix of emotions - surprise, fear, anxiety, but also a strange relief. Despite the emotional turmoil swirling within you, you couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth at the sight of him. He was as handsome as always, his dark blue hair tousled slightly, his eyes filled with a mixture of apprehension and longing. For a moment, you found yourself lost in the depths of his gaze, the familiar warmth of his presence washing over you like a comforting embrace. It was surreal to see him standing there, on your doorstep, after so many weeks of silence and uncertainty. Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat echoing the tumult of emotions that raged within you.

"H-Hey," he stuttered out, his eyes avoiding yours. "I hope I'm not... I hope this isn't too soon."

"No, it's... it's okay. Come in," you said, stepping aside to let him in. He hesitated for a moment, then walked inside. You closed the door behind him, it felt strangely normal to have him there, in your apartment, as if the last few months had been nothing but a bad dream. But the tension in the air was palpable, a reminder that things weren't the same anymore. You led him to the living room, he took a deep breath, his gaze wandering around the room, taking in the familiar surroundings.

"It's been a while," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes, it has," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. The silence that followed was deafening, both of you lost in your own thoughts. Finally, Hongjoong broke the silence.

"I... I wanted to apologize," he began, his voice shaky. "I know I hurt you, and I'm... I'm really sorry." He looked at you, his eyes filled with regret. "I made a mistake... a big one. And I... I want to make it right." You were silent for a moment, processing his words. It was what you had been waiting to hear, but now that he had said it, you didn't know how to respond. You looked at him, studying his face, searching for sincerity in his eyes. Despite the hurt and confusion swirling within you, you couldn't deny the flicker of hope that ignited at his words. His apology felt genuine, raw with emotion. As you wrestled with your thoughts, a part of you longed to forgive him, to embrace the possibility of reconciliation. Yet another part remained guarded, wary of opening yourself up to further pain. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. "I've missed you so much," he confessed. Suddenly, Hongjoong reached out, pulling you into an embrace. The sudden movement startled both of you, but neither of you pulled away. On the contrary, you nestled deeper into his arms, burying your face into the crook of his neck. The familiar scent of his cologne instantly calmed your racing heart, making you feel like you were home again. In his arms, the pain and heartache of the past few months seemed to melt away. As you held each other in a tight embrace, the weight of the past few months began to lift, replaced by a sense of comfort and familiarity. Despite the pain and uncertainty that had plagued your relationship, being in his arms felt right, as if you were finally where you were meant to be.

"I've missed you too," you whispered, your voice barely above a breath. The words were a confession, a raw admission of the emptiness that had consumed you in his absence. The warmth of his embrace melted away the walls you had built around your heart. Despite the doubts and uncertainties that lingered in the back of your mind, you couldn't deny the overwhelming rush of emotions that surged through you. Without thinking, you lifted your head from the crook of his neck, meeting Hongjoong’s gaze with tear-filled eyes. At that moment, all the words you had been longing to say seemed to vanish from your mind, replaced by a desperate need to express the depth of your feelings for him. Leaning forward, you closed the distance between you, capturing his lips in a tender, passionate kiss. For a fleeting moment, it felt as though time stood still, the world around you fading into oblivion as you lost yourself in the intoxicating warmth of his embrace. In that moment, all the pain and heartache of the past seemed insignificant, overshadowed by the overwhelming rush of love and longing that coursed through your veins. As you pulled away, breathless and trembling, you found yourself staring into his eyes, searching for some sign of understanding, of reciprocation. Hongjoong smiled and giggled quietly,

''I did not expect this…'' Your heart fluttered at the sound of his soft laughter, a gentle melody that filled the room. Despite the gravity of the situation, his laughter was like a balm to your wounded soul, easing some of the tension that had been building within you. Hongjoong’s hand found its way to your flushed cheek, it was a comforting presence, his touch sending shivers down your spine as you leaned into his touch, relishing the warmth of his palm against your skin.

"I know," you replied softly, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

''Can we do it again?'' A soft chuckle escaped your lips at his bashful demeanor, finding it endearing how he could still manage to blush after all this time.

"Of course," you replied, a playful glint in your eye as you leaned in closer to him. The warmth of Hongjoong’s breath against your skin sent a thrill coursing through you, reigniting the spark of desire that had never truly faded between you. Closing the distance between you, you pressed your lips to his once more, savoring his familiar taste and feel. It was as if no time had passed at all, as if you were picking up right where you had left off, lost in the intensity of your love for each other. As you pulled away breathlessly, the intensity of the moment lingering between you, Hongjoong placed his forehead against yours, his hand pulling you closer by your waist. His touch sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that had been dormant for far too long. The kiss deepened, growing more passionate and needy. Your bodies pressed together, the heat between you rising. Hongjoong's voice was husky when he pulled back, his breath hot against your ear as he said,

"I'm not gonna stop myself if we keep on." You could feel his arousal pressing against you, a stark reminder of the intimacy you hadn't shared in so long. A shiver ran through your body as you processed his words, your heart pounding in your chest. You had missed this closeness, the intoxicating intimacy that only Hongjoong could provide. Despite the uncertainties that still lingered, your body yearned for his. You met his gaze, your eyes reflecting the desire that was undoubtedly mirrored in his.

"Then don't stop," you murmured, your voice barely a whisper. There was no hesitation in his actions then. His lips found yours again, his hands exploring your body, reigniting the flame that had never fully extinguished. Hongjoong's grip on your hips tightened, his touch electrifying, igniting a spark within you. He pulled your hair just the way you liked it, gentle yet firm, exposing your neck to his gaze. He began to leave a trail of wet kisses along your sensitive skin, his warm breath causing shivers to run down your spine. The anticipation was unbearable. You knew that after all this time, after all the longing and desire that had built up between you, you wouldn’t last long. Every fiber of your being was desperate to feel his body against yours, to experience the intimate connection that only he could provide. And as if he could read your thoughts, Hongjoong returned to kissing you, his lips capturing yours in a passionate embrace. He was devouring you with an intensity that took your breath away, his every touch and kiss stoking the fire within you. You felt his hands tugging at the hem of your hoodie, his fingers deftly pulling it over your head in one swift, practiced motion. As the fabric lifted away, the cool air of the room hit your skin, causing a shiver to course through your body. To Hongjoong's surprise, you were not wearing a bra underneath. His eyes, dark with desire, roamed over your exposed chest, taking in the sight of your bare skin. There was a moment of silence as he savored the sight, his breath hitching in his throat. Your head was spinning, a whirlwind of emotions and sensations taking over, and you could feel yourself getting wetter with each passing second. Hongjoong placed his palm on your breast, cupping it gently but firmly. His touch was warm against your skin, a stark contrast to the cool air surrounding you. His fingers, tender and explorative, began to play with your nipple, tracing delicate patterns that sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You moaned softly. Each touch ignited a spark within you, a flame of desire that seemed to grow with every passing second.

As your hands began to wander, you found yourself drawn to his jeans. Your fingers deftly unclasped his belt, the metallic clink echoing in the room. Heart pounding with anticipation, you slid the zipper down, the sound seeming to reverberate through the room. Hongjoong quickly removed his own shirt, revealing his toned chest. Your hands instinctively reached out to him, your fingers tracing the lines of his muscles. In response, he wrapped his arms around you, lifting you off the ground with ease. Hongjoong carried you towards the bedroom, and a sense of anticipation filled the air. As he gently put you down, your eyes locked with his, the intensity of his gaze sending shivers down your spine. His lips found yours again in a deep, passionate kiss while his hands roamed over your body, further stoking the flame of desire within you. You found yourself lost in his touch, each stroke of his fingers sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. As he slowly moved down, peppering soft kisses along your neck and collarbone, you could hardly contain the moan that escaped your lips. Hongjoong pulled your shorts down, kissing your stomach and hip bones. His touch was electrifying, setting your skin ablaze with a hunger that only he could satisfy. You reached for his pants, finally tugging both them and his boxers down and revealing his throbbing erection. Hongjoong groaned as you wrapped your fingers around his thick dick, you spread pre-cum on his length and stroked him gently yet firmly, eliciting a moan from him. Hongjoong was so hard, so ready for you, and the thought only made you wetter. With a mischievous glint in your eyes, you knelt in front of him and placed a kiss on the tip of his throbbing length. Sensing his anticipation, you started licking him from the base all the way to the tip, savoring the taste of him. His body shivered in response to your actions, his breath hitching as he watched you with a mixture of desire and disbelief.

"I missed the way your cock tastes in my mouth,” you said just before you slowly took him all into your mouth, your lips wrapping around his length as you began to bob your head up and down. The sensation elicited a groan from Hongjoong, his hands instinctively reaching for your hair to guide your movements.

"F-fuck," Hongjoong moaned out, his grip on your hair tightening as you continued to pleasure him with your mouth, your tongue swirling around his length in a way that had him seeing stars. His body was tense, filled with an anticipation that was only heightened by the rhythm of your movements. The room was filled with the sound of his ragged breathing and the wet noises of your mouth on him. His hand tugged at your hair, guiding you, setting the pace. His other hand found its way to your shoulder, his fingers digging into your skin as he struggled to keep control. "I... I need to be inside you," he gasped, the words barely more than a whisper. You looked up at him, your eyes locking with his. There was a raw intensity in his gaze that sent a thrill coursing through you. You nodded, releasing him from your mouth with a final lick, a smirk playing on your lips as you watched him shudder at the sensation. You crawled back up his body, your fingers tracing the lines of his muscles, the sensation eliciting a soft moan from him. Hongjoong's hands found their way to your hips, guiding you to the bed. He positioned himself on top of you, his hands gently spreading your legs. His fingers slowly explored your folds,

"You are so wet, so ready for me" he murmured in awe, his fingers brushing over your slick folds. The sensation caused you to gasp. With a sudden surge of impatience, you pulled him closer by his neck, kissing him aggressively.

"Hongjoong, I need you now," you demanded, your voice thick with desire. He positioned himself, ready to give you what you so desperately wanted. But then, he stopped, pulling back slightly and looking into your eyes with a serious expression.

‘’Are you on the pill?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

"No, not anymore," you admitted, biting your lower lip anxiously.

"Condoms?" he asked, hoping that you had some.

"I don't think I have any," you confessed, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Shit, I think I have some in my wallet," he moved off you and rushed to search his wallet, which was carelessly thrown to the side earlier. After a moment, Hongjoong let out a sigh of relief as he pulled out a condom. Returning to the bed, he positioned himself above you again, his dark eyes filled with desire. You took the condom from him, your hands slightly shaking as you carefully unrolled it down his throbbing length. You guided him to your entrance, the anticipation making you shudder with pleasure. As he slowly entered you, you couldn't help but gasp at the overwhelming sensation, the feeling of him inside you sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. As Hongjoong began to move, each thrust sending sparks of pleasure shooting through you, your hands found purchase on his shoulders, clinging onto him as if your life depended on it. The rhythm of his movements, slow and deliberate at first, gradually picked up pace, each powerful thrust hitting that sweet spot inside you and drawing moans of pleasure from your lips.

"Hongjoong whatever you do just don't stop now," you moaned, your toes curling in pleasure. His name fell from your lips again in a breathless whisper, the sound of it spurring him on. The room filled with the sounds of your passion, the rhythmic creaking of the bed, and your shared moans and gasps of pleasure.

"You feel so good, baby” he moaned. You felt his dick throbbing inside you, which made you clench around him, making him moan again. As your climax approached, your body tensed, your grip on him tightening. Hongjoong could sense it, and his thrusts became more powerful. "Are you going to cum for me, princess?" he asked, his voice husky with desire. Your body responded to his words before your mind could, a rush of pleasure coursing through your veins. You could do nothing but nod, your body taut with anticipation. Hongjoong’s movements became more deliberate, his rhythm matching your own as the tension built.

"Yes," you breathed out, the word barely escaping your lips before a wave of pleasure washed over you. Your body convulsed, your grip on him tightening as you rode the waves of your orgasm. His name fell from your lips in a breathless moan as you rode out your orgasm, each wave of pleasure more intense than the last. With a final, powerful thrust, Hongjoong groaned, his body tensing as he reached his own peak. Feeling him still buried deep inside you, you could sense the warm sensation of his cum filling the condom. Hongjoong’s head fell to the crook of your neck, his hot breath against your skin as he rode out the waves of his climax. The room fell silent, save for the sound of your labored breaths. He collapsed next to you, took the condom off, and threw it away. Hongjoong pulled you into his arms, and his fingers traced lazy circles on your bare skin, the sensation sending tingles down your spine. You turned to face him, your eyes meeting his. There was a softness in his gaze, a tenderness that you hadn't seen for a long time. It warmed your heart, bringing a gentle smile to your face.

"I was going crazy without you," Hongjoong whispered his words a fervent declaration of the depth of his longing. "I missed you every single day," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper as you gazed into his eyes, losing yourself in the depths of his gaze.

"You wouldn't let me forget about you," you smiled sadly, "ATEEZ were everywhere." You chuckled, the sound tinged with a hint of melancholy. "Every time I started to get a bit better, you would show up on a TV or the internet."

Hongjoong gave a bitter-sweet laugh, "I guess we're inescapable, huh?" His hand moved from your waist to cradle your face.

"I was so proud of you, Hongjoong," you confessed, your voice choked with emotion. "It just hurt that you needed to leave me to do all these amazing things."

His gaze softened at your words, his thumb gently brushing away the tears welling up in your eyes. "I didn't want to," he admitted quietly, his voice hauntingly sincere.

"Will you stay for tonight?" you asked him, your voice quiet and hopeful. A silence hung in the air between you, heavy with the weight of unspoken words and raw emotions. Hongjoong looked at you, his gaze soft and contemplative. It felt like an eternity before he finally responded.

"I wish I could," he murmured, his voice heavy with regret. "But I have to go back. There are things I need to take care of." A pang of disappointment shot through you at his words, but you understood. His world was unforgiving, with schedules and commitments that left little room for personal desires. You knew that asking him to stay was selfish, but some of you couldn't help but wish for a little more time together.

"I understand," you replied, your voice tinged with sadness. "But promise me this won't be the last time we see each other. Promise me you'll come back."

"I promise," he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. "I'll come back as soon as I can." You nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips despite the tears that threatened to fall. Hongjoong planted one last kiss on your lips, before gently untangling himself from your embrace. He rose from the bed, his eyes scanning the room for his scattered clothing. You pulled a comforter from the bed around your naked body as you got up from the bed, and you walked up behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso.

"Stay over," you tried convincing him again. "I don't want to be alone." Your lips found the back of his neck, peppering soft kisses there. Each kiss was a silent plea, a yearning for him to stay. He shivered under your touch, goosebumps erupting on his skin. You knew he loved it when you kissed his neck like that. His eyes closed and a soft sigh escaped his lips, a clear sign that he was fighting the urge to stay with you. With one hand, you pulled him in closer, his back pressed against your chest. Your other hand traveled down his torso, exploring his body. You slid your hand lower, until you grabbed his cock, causing Hongjoong to let out a whimper at the sudden contact. The sound was music to your ears, a testament to the effect you had on him. This moment felt right, a perfect blend of desire and intimacy that only you two could share. As you started to pump him slowly, his cock hardened again. Kissing all over his neck, Hongjoong trembled under your touch. Your touch was gentle, yet firm, as you slowly worked him back to full erection. His reactions were immediate and intense, his body trembling under your hands. Hongjoong’s breath hitched in his throat, a soft gasp escaping his lips as you trailed kisses up and down his neck. Every touch, every kiss, seemed to set his nerves on fire, his body humming with pent-up desire.

"Feeling your dick get hard in my hand is so hot," you whispered into his ear. Hongjoong’s breath hitched at your words, he was completely at your mercy, his eyes fluttering closed as he lost himself in the sensations you were coaxing from him. His hands reached for you, his fingers digging into your arm as a silent plea for more. His breaths came in short, ragged gasps, each one a testament to the pleasure you were bringing him. The room was filled with the sound of your soft murmurs and his gasps, the air heavy with desire. You took your time, savoring each reaction, each tremor that ran through him.

"I'm going to make you come so hard," you breathed against his neck, your voice filled with a promise of the pleasure to come. A shiver ran through his body at your words, anticipation causing his breath to hitch in his throat. The kisses you trailed along his neck grew more passionate, more desperate, each one a promise of the pleasure to come. He was trembling beneath your touch, his body writhing with anticipation, ready for the climax that was sure to come.

"Need... need to feel your mouth on me. Please, please," he moaned as you sped up your movements on his length. You could feel his desperation in every word, the primal need making his voice tremble. You turned his body to face you, without missing a beat, you moved down his body, trailing kisses along the way. You took him in your mouth, your movements slow and deliberate at first, earning a guttural moan from him. His hand found its way to your hair, fingers tangling in the locks as he guided your movements. With every moan, every gasp for breath, you could feel him lose himself in the pleasure you were giving him. It only spurred you on further, your movements becoming more confident, more insistent. Hongjoong was a moaning mess, his body tensing as he felt the precipice of his release approaching.

"God... F-fuck," he stuttered, the words tumbling out amidst irregular breaths. He looked at you, his eyes dark with desire and pleading. "Baby, I love you... Can I... Can I cum in your mouth?" your eyes met his, a soft nod of consent given as you continued your movements. The quiet room was filled with only the sounds of his heavy breaths and soft curses. Your name fell from his lips like a prayer, his hands gripping your hair tightly. "I love you... I love you so much," he gasped out, his body trembling as he reached his climax. His cum filled your mouth, the taste of him intoxicating and familiar. You swallowed it all, a sense of pride swelling within you. As his release washed over him, you could see the love and adoration in his eyes. He was open, vulnerable, and completely yours at that moment. Post-orgasmic bliss took over him, his body going limp as he tried to regain his breath. You crawled up, placing soft kisses along his chest, his jaw, his lips. Hongjoong pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you tightly.

"I love you too, Hongjoong," you whispered, your head resting on his chest. His heart was still racing, the rhythm syncing with your own. You could feel his fingers tracing patterns on your back, a content sigh escaping his lips. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. The look in his eyes said it all. He was in love, and so were you. Despite the challenges and the heartache, you belonged together. And in that moment, everything felt right. For a moment, he allowed himself to enjoy your embrace, his mind lost in the warmth of your touch.

"So, did that earn me your stay?" you asked playfully, a hint of mischief in your eyes as you looked up at him. Hongjoong kissed your forehead, before gently pulling away from your embrace, his fingers brushing against your cheek as he looked at you with regret-filled eyes.

"Baby I really wish I could stay, but I can't," he murmured, his voice heavy with regret. "I have early rehearsals tomorrow. I promise I'll come back soon." He gently extricated himself from your grasp and began to get dressed.

"Don't go," you pleaded softly, your voice barely a whisper. But despite the plea in your eyes, he knew he couldn't stay. No matter how much he wanted to remain by your side, his responsibilities were calling him back.

"I don't want to leave you," Hongjoong murmured in a tone that was barely a whisper, his eyes filled with regret. "But I have to. I have responsibilities that I need to attend to." Despite the warmth of your bodies pressed together and the lingering taste of you on his lips, he knew he couldn't stay. He gave you one last look, his heart aching at the sight of your disheveled hair and the love in your eyes. The silence in the room was heavy, filled with unspoken words and lingering emotions. Once fully dressed, he turned back to you, his gaze soft. He walked over and pulled you into a gentle hug, his hand stroking your hair in a comforting gesture.

"I'll see you soon, I promise," he whispered into your ear before pulling away. Hongjoong gave you one last lingering look, his eyes filled with longing before he opened the door and stepped out of your apartment, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

However, Hongjoong did not keep his promise.

four

Once again, days turned into weeks, and Hongjoong was nowhere to be found. You started to believe that your meeting was only a dream, a figment of your imagination borne out of desperation and longing. Each passing day without any word from him further reinforced this belief. The emptiness that you had once managed to keep at bay was slowly creeping back in, consuming you bit by bit. The silence was deafening, a harsh reminder of the reality you were trying to escape from. It felt as if you were trapped in a never-ending cycle of hope and despair, each passing day a test of your resilience and strength. With each passing day, a seed of doubt began to grow within you. Was it possible that Hongjoong regretted what had happened? Could it be that the promises whispered in the heat of the moment, the tender kisses and reassuring words, were nothing more than a mistake? The thought gnawed at you, casting a dark shadow over the glimmer of hope you had been clinging on to. You found yourself questioning everything, your mind a whirlpool of confusion and despair. Your days were filled with uncertainty and your nights were haunted by dreams of him. You longed for the comfort of his presence, aching for the familiarity of his touch. Yet, all you were left with was the deafening silence, a cruel reminder of the distance that had grown between you.

Three weeks had passed since you last laid eyes on Hongjoong, and the absence was fucking with your head. Questions spun around in your head like a whirlwind, each one piercing deeper than the last. Was it only the sex that he missed? You were haunted by the warmth of his touch and the intoxicating way he used to look at you. The ghost of his touch still lingered on your skin, a cruel reminder of the intimacy that once existed. The silence of your phone was deafening, the man who once couldn't go a day without hearing your voice, who used to fill your inbox with loving messages, had now been reduced to radio silence. Your mind was a battlefield, memories of him clashing violently with the present reality. This was not the Hongjoong you loved and cherished, the one who held you through the darkest nights and lit up your world with his smile. This was a stranger, a phantom wearing Hongjoong's face and carrying his memories, a cruel mockery of the man you once knew.

five

On a sunny afternoon, you came back from grocery shopping and approached your apartment complex. Upon reaching your floor, you found Hongjoong leaning against your door. The sight of him waiting there, a look of nervous anticipation on his face, sent a jolt of surprise through you. The sound of grocery bags dropping onto the floor startled Hongjoong, his head snapping up to see you standing there, a look of shock and anger on your face. He quickly jogged over to help you pick up the scattered items, but you recoiled, pulling the bags away from him.

"Why are you here, Hongjoong?" You spat out his name like it was poison. "I don't want to see you," you quickly got up as you finished picking up what was left from your shopping.

"We both know you don’t mean it…" Hongjoong blurts out, a look of guilt crossing his face.

"My manager found out I came to see you," Hongjoong admitted, avoiding your gaze. "The company... they're not happy. They made me sign a contract." His voice was barely a whisper, but the words hit you with the force of a freight train. "I'm... I'm banned from dating now." His words hung heavily in the air, the final blow to the fairytale you had tried so hard to keep alive. The revelation left you speechless, your heart aching at the harsh reality of his words. You felt a cold wave of disappointment wash over you, the realization of Hongjoong's predicament hitting you like a punch to the gut.

"Banned from dating?" you echoed, the words sounding foreign on your tongue. As the weight of Hongjoong's confession settled over you, you couldn't help but feel a sense of betrayal. It wasn't just the fact that he was banned from dating that stung, but the realization that he had chosen to prioritize his career over your relationship once again. "How could you?" you whispered, your voice barely audible above the pounding of your heart. "After what happened that night, you still chose them over me?" The hurt and anger bubbled up inside you, threatening to spill over at any moment. You felt like a fool for ever believing that things could be different, for allowing yourself to hope for a future that was never meant to be.

Hongjoong reached out to you, his hand hovering in the air as if unsure whether to touch you. "I didn't have a choice, Y/N," he pleaded, his voice filled with desperation. "You have to believe me. I didn't want this to happen." But his words fell on deaf ears.

"You always have a choice, Hongjoong," you retorted, your voice laced with bitterness. "You chose to sign that contract!" The tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment. "You promised you would be back to see me, Hongjoong! You said you missed me and you wanted to make this right. And now this?" you exclaimed, your voice shaking with the intensity of your emotions. The betrayal cut deep, his broken promises like salt in the wound.

"You can't just show up here after weeks of silence and expect me to be okay with this," you continued, your voice raw with emotion. "You've made your choice, Hongjoong. Now, I'm making mine. I can't do this anymore."

Your words hung heavily in the air, the finality of them echoing in the silence that enveloped the two of you. Hongjoong was left standing there, a stunned expression on his face as he processed your words. The man who was once your world, who held your heart in his hands, was now a stranger standing before you.

"I... I didn't mean to hurt you," he whispered, his voice barely audible. His eyes were brimming with regret, the weight of his actions visibly weighing on him.

"But you did, Hongjoong," you replied, your voice steady despite the tears that threatened to spill. "You hurt me... and the worst part is, you chose to. You chose them over me... again."

The silence that followed was deafening, the tension palpable. Hongjoong looked as if he wanted to say something, to defend himself or perhaps apologize, but no words came out. It was as if he finally realized the gravity of his actions, the damage that he had caused.

You turned your back on him, the sight of him too painful to bear. The man you loved was no more, replaced by a stranger who wore his face and held his memories. As you walked away, you could feel his gaze on you, heavy with regret and longing. But it was too late. The damage had been done, and there was no turning back.

You walked into your apartment, closing the door behind you. The finality of the sound echoing in the silent hallway. As you leaned against the door, your knees gave out, sending you sliding down to the floor. Sobs racked your body, the tears flowing freely now. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. You froze, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Y/N, please," Hongjoong's voice filtered through the door, his tone desperate. "I love you, please let me in." But you couldn't bring yourself to open the door, to face him again. His words, once so comforting, now felt like a cruel mockery of what you once shared. You wrapped your arms around yourself as if to ward off the chill that had seeped into your bones.

"I can't, Hongjoong," you whispered, your voice barely audible. The silence that ensued was deafening, only broken by the occasional sob that escaped your lips. You could hear Hongjoong's muffled pleas on the other side of the door,

"Baby, I need you to understand," he began, his voice steady despite the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. "I love you. In this world, it's always been you. Without you, I feel so alone. I need you to really hear me when I say that I love you." he murmured, his voice filled with so much pain that it made your heart ache.

Your cry spasmed through your body, causing you to shiver uncontrollably. Between gasps for air, you managed to sob out, "I love you too." Hongjoong’s voice fell silent on the other side of the door, and you clung to the silence, hoping, praying that he had left. But then you heard it, a low, heartbreaking sob from the other side.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Hongjoong's voice was barely more than a whisper, choked with emotion. "I'm sorry for everything." You clung to the cold, hard floor, your body wracked with sobs. The apartment felt emptier than ever, the silence echoing through the space, a stark reminder of your loneliness.

"Please let me in," he tried begging again, his voice echoing through the silence. But you couldn't. You were too hurt, too betrayed. You curled up tighter on the cold floor, your heart aching as his pleas continued to echo through the small apartment.

"I...I need to go," Hongjoong finally whispered, his voice heavy with sorrow. You heard his footsteps recede and the faint sound of the hallway door closing. You were finally alone, the silence in the apartment a stark reminder of the void he had left behind. In the silence of your apartment, you allowed yourself to break down completely. Your sobs echoed through the empty space, your heartache manifesting in the tears that streamed down your face. You felt the loss of him deeply like a part of you had been ripped away.

six

You had lost track of how much time had passed since you last saw Hongjoong. The days blurred into weeks, and the weeks blurred into months. Morning turned into night, and night turned back into morning, but the ache in your heart remained constant. Hongjoong’s absence was like a gaping wound that refused to heal. You found yourself going through the motions of life, putting on a brave face during the day while falling apart in the solitude of the night. Every little thing reminded you of him - a certain song on the radio, the scent of his favorite cologne lingering in the air, the way the morning sunlight streamed through the window just the way he liked it. You knew it was wrong, that you needed to move on, but it was easier said than done. The memories of him were etched deep within your heart, a part of you that you couldn’t just erase. You missed his laughter, his touch, the way he used to look at you. You missed him, and it hurt more than you ever thought possible. Try as you might, you were coping really badly without him. His absence had left a void in your life that you didn't know how to fill. You felt lost, adrift in a sea of loneliness. You yearned for his presence, for the comfort and familiarity that he brought into your life. Despite the heartache and the pain, you were holding on. Holding on to the hope that, maybe, with time, the pain would lessen. Holding on to the memories that brought you joy in your darkest moments. Holding on to the love that, despite everything, still lingered within your heart.

You started to go clubbing, drinking more alcohol than you should, each shot you took was a desperate attempt to erase him from your mind, to numb the pain that was threatening to consume you. You tried to lose yourself in the rhythm, in the mindless chatter and laughter around you, but all you could think about was Hongjoong. Alcohol, which was supposed to help you forget, ironically made him even more present. His name was etched on every bottle, his memory swirled in every glass, his phantom touch felt in every drunken stupor. Each night was a replay of all the moments you shared, every word exchanged, every secret whispered, every promise made.

The club was packed, the music pounding in time with your heartbeat. The smell of alcohol and sweat filled the air, mingling with the intoxicating scent of perfume. Lost in the crowd, you tried to drown out the loneliness that gnawed at your insides. Suddenly, you felt a presence beside you. Turning, you found yourself face to face with a stranger. He was handsome, with a warm smile and dark, inviting eyes. He offered to buy you a drink, his voice barely audible over the loud music. You nodded, accepting the drink he handed you. The alcohol burned your throat, but it was a welcome distraction from the emptiness you felt. As the night progressed, the stranger became more comfortable. He leaned in closer, his hand brushing against yours. His touch sent a jolt through your body, a feeling of excitement... and something else. Something that felt like a betrayal. The stranger leaned in for a kiss, his lips barely inches from yours. You wanted to respond, to surrender to the desire that was churning within you. But as his lips meet yours, a flash of Hongjoong's face appears in your mind. It was as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped on you. Suddenly, the stranger's touch felt wrong, his presence a stark reminder of what you were missing. With a gasp, you pulled away, pushing the stranger off you. You stumbled back, your heart pounding in your chest. You turned and ran, pushing through the crowd, desperate to escape. The stranger called after you, but his voice was drowned out by the thumping music. Once outside, you leaned against the wall, gasping for breath. Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized the truth. Despite the desire to move on, to forget Hongjoong, your body seemed to have a mind of its own. You still craved his touch, his presence. It felt like your body was still his, refusing to let go, refusing to be with anyone else. It was a painful realization, a glaring reminder of the void that Hongjoong had left in your life. Staggering back to your apartment, you felt more alone than ever.

After what felt like forever, you reached your apartment complex. Stumbling through the doorway, you barely had the strength to close the door behind you. Your thoughts were a blur, the world spinning around you as the effects of the alcohol finally started to take a toll. You leaned against the wall for support, the cold surface offering a stark contrast to the warmth that was spreading through your body. A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you slid down the wall, your body finally giving in to the exhaustion. You sat there, alone in the darkness, the silence of your apartment echoing the emptiness you felt inside. You pulled out your phone, your fingers hovering over Hongjoong's name. Without any hesitation, feeling like you had already waited too long, you pressed the call button. The phone rang, but there was no answer. A pang of disappointment hit you, though it was an outcome you weren't entirely surprised by. You sighed, waiting for the beep before leaving a voicemail.

"Hongjoong, it's me," you began, your voice slightly shaky. "I was out clubbing, and there was this guy… We kissed and… and he wanted to take me home. But I couldn't... I couldn't because it felt like I would be cheating on you. And that just... it made me feel sick." There was a pause as you braced yourself, gathering your thoughts. "The worst thing is," you continued, your voice slightly choked, "that I would still welcome you with open arms. I miss our life together, Hongjoong. I miss you." There was another pause, a heavy silence filling the line. "I'm so sorry," you said, your voice barely a whisper. "I'm so sorry for making you feel bad about choosing your career. I know how much you wanted what you have now. And I... I shouldn't have held you back." You took a deep breath, your heart pounding in your chest as you grappled with the words you knew you had to say. "And Hongjoong," you added, your voice filled with a quiet intensity, "I will never not love you." With that, you ended the call, the silence that followed echoing with the weight of your words.

In a haze, you managed to make your way to your bed, your body sinking into the familiar comfort of the mattress. The silence in the room felt overwhelming, and your mind filled with thoughts of Hongjoong. You missed him terribly, the uncertainty of his whereabouts gnawing at you. Pulling out your phone, you started to text him, your fingers clumsily typing out the words.

"Hongjoong... I miss you. I don't know where you are... and it's driving me crazy," you typed, the words blurring on the screen as tears welled up in your eyes. You hit send, the message disappears into the ether. Tears trickled down your cheeks, the emptiness of the room amplifying the loneliness you felt. You cried a deep, aching sob that echoed in the silence of the room, your body shaking with the intensity of your feelings. The room was dark, the only light coming from the screen of your phone, you picked it up and started typing another message.

"Hongjoong, I miss you."

"I need you, Hongjoong."

As you sent the message, a wave of regret washed over you. You knew you shouldn't have sent it, but the alcohol in your system and the loneliness in your heart had made you reckless.

"I still love you."

"I love you so much it hurts."

"I wish I wasn’t hurting this bad."

You dropped your phone on the bed, the screen illuminating the darkness as your messages were sent into the void, unanswered.

"I wish things were different."

The truth of your words hit you like a sledgehammer, and you broke down again, sobs shaking your body as you curled up on your bed. You cried until you fell asleep, your dreams filled with memories of Hongjoong.

seven

The crowd roared with applause as Hongjoong left the stage, his heart pounding in his chest. The energy from the audience was infectious, their cheers and screams echoing in his ears long after the music had stopped. The final show of the tour had been a resounding success, each seat filled, each ticket sold. As he walked off the stage, the reality of their success began to sink in. The bright lights, the screaming fans, the sold-out venues - it was more than he had ever dreamed of. Despite the fatigue that was beginning to set in, he couldn't help but bask in the afterglow of their performance. The excitement, the adrenaline, the sheer joy of performing - it was a feeling like no other. After all was said and done, he found himself walking through the corridors, personally thanking each member of the crew. Their faces lit up at his words of gratitude, their hard work acknowledged by their leader. The atmosphere was filled with camaraderie and mutual respect, a testament to the bond they shared. Once he had made his rounds, he finally reached his sanctuary - his dressing room. The room was dimly lit, the quiet hum of the air conditioning the only sound breaking the silence. Rows of neatly hung suits, shirts, and accessories greeted him, a stark contrast to the chaos that had ensued earlier. Exhaustion washed over him like a tidal wave, the adrenaline that had been fueling him all day finally starting to wane. His body felt heavy, his mind cloudy from the day's events. He moved towards the plush leather couch sitting in the corner of the room, his legs giving way as he sank into the soft cushions. The quietness of the room enveloped him, a soothing balm to his frayed nerves. He let out a sigh of relief, his body sinking further into the couch as he allowed the exhaustion to take over. The day had been long and arduous, but he had made it through, and for that, he was grateful. Hongjoong reached out and picked up his phone from the bedside table. The bright screen lit up, and his heart skipped a beat as he saw your name at the top of his notifications. Hongjoong's heart pounded in his chest as he played the voice message. Your voice, which he hadn’t heard in so long, laced with alcohol and desperation, echoed in his brain. His breath hitched at your confession, the image of another man touching you burning in his mind. It was a torment he hadn't prepared for, a reality he refused to accept. His grip on his phone tightened, his knuckles turning white as your words washed over him. Each syllable was like a dagger to his heart, the pain raw and unbearable. As the full weight of your words sunk in, he was left reeling, the reality of your pain and longing hitting him like a punch to the gut. He had never felt more helpless, more desperate. After hearing the voice message, he quickly clicked on the text notifications. His fingers trembled slightly as he read the messages:

my love: "Hongjoong... I misssss youuuu. Don't knoowww whereeee u r... it's drivin' me craaaazy."

my love: "Honjoong, I missss youuuu.”

my love: "I neeedd yoooo, Hongjoongg.”

my love: "I stiilll lovvee yooouu.”

my love: "I wishhh thinggs werre differrrent.”

my love: "I luvv yu sooo muchh it hurttss."

my love: "I wishh I wasn't hurtin' thiss badd."

In a heartbeat, Hongjoong got up from the sofa, the quick motion caused his head to spin. Shaking off the disorientation, he lunged for his bag, hastily gathering his belongings in a flurry of swift movements. All his thoughts were consumed by one singular goal - he needed to see you. Not bothering with changing out of his stage attire into something more casual, he embraced the urgency of the moment, allowing it to fuel his actions. He shrugged on his jacket, barely noticing the lingering sweat on his skin or the way his stage clothes clung to his body. Hongjoong’s heart pounded in his chest, as he sprinted out of the dressing room. His eyes darted around the bustling backstage area, scanning the familiar faces and chaotic scenery in search of one person. His manager. Every second was critical, each fleeting moment amplifying the urgency of his need to see you. The world around him seemed to blur into a whirlwind of colours and sounds as he navigated through the backstage chaos, his mind solely focused on his mission.

"Hongjoong, are you alright?" Minah, the stylist, asked as she approached him cautiously. She had been observing him from a distance, noting the far-off look in his eyes. It was unlike him to be this distracted, especially when they were on a tight schedule. Hongjoong didn't even notice her until she was right next to him, her voice cutting through the fog of his thoughts. He blinked, turning to look at her with a slightly startled expression.

"Where is my manager?" he asked, his voice tense. It wasn't like him to be so curt, and Minah knew instantly that something was off. She glanced warily at him, biting her lower lip anxiously.

"He stepped out for a moment, he should be back soon," she replied, trying to keep her voice steady. She had been working with Hongjoong for a while now and she had never seen him this agitated before. Hongjoong nodded, his gaze wandering off again as he started scanning the room left and right. He looked like a man on edge, his eyes darting around the room as if searching for an escape route. His hands were clenched tightly in his lap, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. Minah watched him with growing concern, her mind racing as she tried to think of a way to help. She had seen him tired, stressed, even overwhelmed at times, but she had never seen him like this. He looked like he was at his breaking point, like he was about to shatter into a million pieces. She knew better than to press him for answers, knowing that he would open up when he was ready. But as the minutes ticked by and his anxiety seemed to mount, she couldn't help but worry. Something was clearly wrong, and she felt helpless as she watched him struggle.

"Fuck it," he cursed under his breath, his thoughts racing as he rushed towards the back doors that led to the underground parking lot. Hongjoong made his way through, heading straight for the exit. At that moment, the possible consequences of his actions didn't matter to him. Just as he was about to pry open the alarmed doors, causing the alarm to ring out, he heard someone calling his name.

"Hongjoong, what do you think you're doing?" It was his manager, jogging over to him.

"I'm going back home," Hongjoong declared, his voice ringing with a determination that startled his manager. The manager, taken aback by the sudden change in his typically professional demeanor, quickly tried to regain control of the situation. He grabbed Hongjoong by the shoulder, attempting to steer him back towards the conference room where a team of publicists and stylists awaited their return.

"You aren't going anywhere, Hongjoong," his manager sternly replied, his grip tightening on Hongjoong's shoulder. "We're flying back in two days after the interviews. You know the schedule." Typically, Hongjoong was a stickler for professionalism. He understood the importance of maintaining a certain image, of fulfilling his responsibilities and keeping to the schedule. But this was not a typical situation. His mind was filled with thoughts of you, your voice in that message echoing in his ears. The sound of your soft sobs, the barely concealed panic in your voice - they haunted him. He needed to be with you, to hold you, to reassure you that everything was going to be okay.

With a firm shake of his shoulder, he freed himself from his manager's grasp, his movements abrupt and filled with a newfound, desperate energy.

"Seonghwa will take the leader role when I'm gone," he declared, his voice louder than it had been all night. "You will figure something out," he continued, his voice echoing with a resolve that hadn't been there before. Hongjoong gaze was intense, almost desperate, as he looked at his manager, it was a look they had never seen before, a look that spoke of desperation and determination that was both terrifying and heartbreaking. "Give me the keys to the car," Hongjoong demanded, his voice icily calm in contrast to the furious glint in his eyes. But his manager defied him, refusing to hand over the keys. Hongjoong was on a rampage, his usual composed demeanor replaced with a fiery rage that was starting to consume him. His vision blurred, the edges tinged with red as his frustration escalated."I NEED to go!" Hongjoong shouted, his voice filled with an urgency that cut through the tense silence.

"You're not thinking straight, Hongjoong," his manager retorted, his tone laced with frustration and concern. "You can't just abandon everything and run off. Think about the consequences!"

"I don't care about the consequences!" Hongjoong snapped, his patience wearing thin. "This is more important!"

"Oh, is it?" his manager sneered, a manipulative glint in his eyes. "Remember, Hongjoong, I can ruin you. I can leak your little secret to the press. Imagine the scandal, the headlines... ''ATEEZ's leader, Kim Hongjoong, abandons tour to chase after ex-girlfriend.'' How do you think the fans will react?" Hongjoong knew it was a threat, a blatant attempt to control him, but the reality of the situation was that his manager held the power to destroy his career.

Hongjoong's heart pounded in his chest, his blood running cold at his manager's words. He gritted his teeth as he cut off his manager's words.

"How do you know it's about her?" he demanded, his voice harsh. A cold dread washed over him as he considered the implications. How was it even possible for his manager to know you had contacted him? After all these months of radio silence, how could he possibly know? His manager shrugged, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I have my ways," he said cryptically. "Besides, it's not like I don't know what she still means to you." The words stung, a harsh reminder of the heartache Hongjoong had been trying to bury. "Don't tell me I didn't warn you," his manager said smugly, dangling the car keys in front of him. With a sigh, Hongjoong snatched the keys from his hand, his determination unwavering. He would face the consequences of his actions, whatever they may be, as long as it meant he could be there for you.

For the first time in his life, Hongjoong didn't care about professionalism or the implications of his actions. He didn't care about the shocked expressions of his manager and the other staff members. He didn't care about the potential backlash or the consequences he might face. This time, all he cared about was you.

[brownhairedbookworm]

Monika warps herself as near as she can to Sayori's torturer. The memories from Sayori... Sayori didn't deserve to experience them the first time, let alone just to share it with her. But feeling the fear and despair and defeat inside of Sayori's heart during the borrowed memory only served to boil Monika's blood even hotter. And she was able to identify the offender with a bit of work from her console. "You..."

Her black wings spread wide, and Monika rushes forth with a primal scream. There they are. She tackles them through the doorway of their home. Wall decorations and knickknacks clatter to the floor and shatter to pieces as their owner flies backward through the hall. With the doorway destroyed, Monika has nothing keeping her out. She stomps heavily on the floor as she approaches her target. Hissing with a sharp sneer on her face, Monika reaches down and picks them up.

She grips their neck. "I feel it. That elevated and horrified heartbeat." Monika grins, running her thumb across their carotid artery. "You're scared. As you should be. Feel free to pray to your god. But, spoilers, I won't be listening." She throws them to the ground, the impact cracking a bone or two.

Monika stands amid the half-destroyed home, looking at the defeated, terrified person sitting before her. She's panting, teeth gritted. Kill them. It will be so easy. She has the power to do it... So why won't she make that last little step...? Her fingers tremble from the torrent of emotion inside her. Type it into the console, delete them. Erase them. They hurt... Sayori...

The red rage fades from her irises as sweet, soft memories of Sayori's endless well of kindness break the ruby shell around her flaming heart. She closes her eyes and lets out an unsatisfied, but calmed sigh. Her shaking hand curls into a fist and drops to her side.

Monika leans over them, anger slowly being wrapped and contained. "...You're lucky. I'm a cruel and jealous goddess, but my lover? The one you hurt? Her heart overflows with kindness and forgiveness. Unlike me, she sees the good in everyone. I look down at you, wallowing and shaking in fear at my mere presence, and I'm asking myself why I haven't already smote you. Your cruelty and need for control over others are despicable, and you don't deserve the life you have or the love you receive..."

She straightens her back, standing at her full height. "...If I can be forgiven for those same sins, you can thank her for taming my boundless rage, just by giving me her love." Monika's black-feathered wings disappear from her back, as she turns to leave. "Maybe this will be a dream, by tomorrow. Your home certainly won't have any evidence of this little... Altercation." She begins typing into her console as she walks out of the room. Everything begins to repair itself, and reality asserts that Monika was never here.

"No matter what happens, I hope you can comprehend how much I'm holding myself back, for her sake. I can do so much worse than damaging your house and leaving a few fading bruises and cracks." She lets out a hot breath, looking over her shoulder at them. "If you hurt Sayori again, there is no force in the heavens, hell, or the earth that will stop me from erasing you from this world as painfully as possible. You'll know the suffering that only the damned can speak of. Are we fucking clear?"

Monika doesn't wait for a response before she turns her head forward and fades away into a teleportation command, as the door repairs itself and slams shut. Her would-be victim is left alone, full of fear and pain... Maybe they learned something, maybe not.

For the moment, Monika puts herself on a city rooftop. She needs to process that set of emotions that completely took over her... What better way than a poem? Monika pulls her pen and notebook from her bag and starts to write.

Burning

The flames in my blood are dim Hot enough to keep me awake But not to erupt out and harm

A bucket of water brings me peace Cooling my heart down And tempering my fury

The bucket has been spilled by another

And my flames

scorch

the earth

to ash

"...Am I just an angry person? I don't think I am... I should get back to Sayori and let her know I took care of them."

Physically drained and emotionally spent, Monika warps back into Sayori's apartment, dropping gently into her lover's bed.

[cornus27florida]

Poisoned Frederick (unfocused CPC fanfic with "what-if" AU)

If want to write the fic based on this idea feel free cuz I can't due to being so unfocused and perfectionism+unfocused syndrome, just these thoughts floating in my mind and I like to let it out espc from my previous convo w/ @meritre24601

Idea: what-if Frederick that 'poisoned' to 'eternal Slumber'(but the painful version) instead?

This also feels like could goes further to the discussion with @yaminobean in Alexander's new post "Everyone seems to hate Frederick.." - what if there's timeline divergence when everyone should face the consequence of their hate or dislike to Frederick much earlier?

I've talked the what-if in my 'old Tumblr post: Curses and Cures - how close Frederick is to be 'poisoned' by the CPC

Also interesting fact that I found to be a big irony of what-ifs, is that Frederick almost cursed by CPC to be sleeping (which what happened right now to Gwendolyn, don't worry I will talk about the possible cure for sleeping potion after this intermizo) during the time he followed Gwen to CPC.

As calming tea that Monika have likely contains Chamomiles, the same herbal in sleeping pill. Imagine what-if possibly could happened in episode 84 [Intruder part 2], CPC brewing too many tea bags at once=It seems will be ends no good, and might make CPC accidentally conconts a cursed 'sleeping potion'.

Imagine If Frederick really drinks or sips that tea, thus he might won't wake up 'directly' as what CPC's planned. Imagine if Frederick not waking up at all to even makes his brothers worried, CPC panicked over their action? What if they never found out the 'peaceful meadow' or the teapot by Prez' hit totally gone wrong which make Frederick in the coma? Imagine the shatter up alliance between Pastel Kingdom and the Plaid Kingdom, this could feel like the reverse situation of Polygon (Prez) and Monochrome (Whitney) kingdom where the prince side 'get cursed' instead which might escalated things, one of it I fear the earlier war

So the CPC comes to Gwendolyn to asks something like these ; "Ermm, hello Gwen? We're really sorry.. we kinda accidentally cursed your fiance to sleep in that flower meadows and he not waking up ever since.. Could you give him 'true love's kiss' to wake him up?" -> thus enter Whitney that kinda like sudden medic support with mixed feelings towards him, but Whitney's sole goal is to saves his friend Frederick over distress of everyone (btw in this what-if scenario I hope Renee somehow already back to the CPC so not getting hit by the lightning struck, so Nell's premonition weirdly enough referred to Frederick instead)

^ basically I feel the not-heartful apology not enough if things indeed escalated to Frederick the one in the coma instead. Also this could develops to Monika feels 'betrayed' that the CPC is hypocrite by steal back from her and used her things (calming sleep teabags) to 'cursing' someone - even though the same person that she thought 'accidentally murder her'/well you guys know it's merely misunderstanding

The what-if CPC timeline that changed: the whole CPC intruder arc (idk if other arc happen with this deviation), simply because Frederick sips the "tea" that the CPC (remember the official art of Frederick like Alice in Wonderland, served tea by Prez?)

^ those official art could turns to something sinister NGL, imagine if Frederick is the Alice to mimicking Gwendolyn's official canon timeline dream of "Alice in Wonderland" dream

Tags: what-if fic, Gwendolyn/Frederick hint, Frederick aware of his mistake due to the poisoned phase which means much earlier than the canon (prob, maybe? feel free to use this HC)

Ama out to continue writing her thesis while still wanna hear you guys lovely thoughts in my break time >< waves waves

[kittybells-writes]

AO3 Masterpost

Your guide to everything I've written & posted on AO3!

I will define its rating with the color that matches for example. if my fic is rated E, it will be colored as such. due to not having access to yellow anymore for some reason, blue is now teen rated.

as of right now, all of my non-yellowjackets fics are posted so that you need an account to see them, due to the ai scrapers.

sorted by fandom, alphabetically, if it shares a fandom I will put the secondary fandom in brackets before the genre. things that aren't smut/pwp will be given a genre after the title that'll be in parentheses!

I will also put pairings in {these brackets} for relationships, both platonic and romantic/sexual, defined by the & and / tagging system on ao3.

Beetlejuice

one is the loneliest number [Wednesday] (fluff)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

make me move like a freak {Faith/Buffy}

alley way play {Vamp!Willow/Faith}

D.E.B.S. (2004)

a kinky kidnapping {Amy/Lucy}

Doctor Who (2005)

bow down before the one you serve {Thirteen/River} (watersports)

'cause I, I'm my type, I don't try, and I know just what I like {Amy/Amy} (selfcest)

choke me like you hate me, but you love me {Ashildr/Clara}

forever (adv): a lie {implied Ten/Rose} (hurt/no comfort)

I'm going home, to the place where I belong {Fourteen & Donna} (fluff)

I'm mister loverman, and I miss my lover, man {implied Ten/Rose} (hurt/no comfort)

I wanna fuck you like an animal {Thirteen/River} (petplay)

I would choose you over millions of lives {implied Ten/Rose or Twelve/Clara} (angst)

long ago and far away in a different time {Ten & Donna} (fluff)

see what you're doing to me {Clara/Amy/Rose}

we all need somebody to lean on {Twelve & Clara} (fluff)

you gotta feel it, it's sonic! {Ten/Rose} (lesbianism)

you really feel the need to get high, get full {Clara/Amy} (intoxication)

Doki Doki Literature Club

I hear your heart beat beat to the beat of the drums {Natsuki/Sayori}

I'm so hot I'd fuck myself {Monika/Monika}

Five Nights at Freddy's

join us and die [Hatchetfieldverse] (hurt/no comfort)

Heathers

veronica gets a motorbike and rides up to seattle {Veronica/Chandler} (some plot)

Miller's Girl

you can count on me {Cairo/Winnie} (a/b/o)

Scream

fear and panic in the air, I want to be free

I might kill my ex {Billy/Reader}

Spider Verse

I wanna fuck you like an animal, I wanna feel you from the inside {Miguel/Reader}

let me go home, I'm too far away from where you are, I wanna come home (fluff/angst) {Gwen & Miles}

sweet little unforgettable thing {Miguel/Reader}

Stranger Things

darling you're so pretty it hurts {Chrissy/Robin}

"do not enter" is written on the doorway (hurt/comfort)

eleven is bleeding (hurt/comfort?)

hellfur club (angst/hurt/comfort) {Steve/Eddie}

I can see clearly, now the rain is gone (hurt/comfort)

I tried to find a cure for the pain (hurt/comfort)

I've been hiding these feelings for so long (self discovery, fluff, hurt/comfort)

I will always write back {Steve/Eddie}

strip truth or truth {Chrissy/Robin}

tw: gay (bonding/fluff!)

you're the first to fight, I know something's wrong (hurt/comfort)

The Sex Life of College Girls

don't cry, don't cry [T] {Tatum/Leighton} (angst)

I'm breaking the habit tonight {Alicia/Leighton} (angst)

Torchwood

make me arch my back and we're goin' dumb {Jack/Martha} (medical petplay)

Wednesday

I love my dog as much as I love you {Wednesday & Enid) (agere/fluff)

cry me a river {Wednesday & Enid) (hurt/comfort)

I'll hold your hand if you want me to {Xavier & Tyler} (hurt/comfort)

Yellowjackets (2021)

a light in the crack between your thighs {Lottie/Nat}

all along there was some invisible string {Jackie & Shauna} (fluff?)

all the other girls are thinner, so she makes you skip dinner {Jackie & Shauna} (hurt/comfort)

baby it's halloween, and we could be anything {Lottie/Nat} (fluff)

better run faster than the bullet {Van & Nat} (hurt/comfort)

big doe eyed, amazing {Jackie/Shauna} (petplay)

did you miss me? oh come and kiss me {Jackie/Shauna}

for you, there'll be no more crying; for you, the sun will be shining {Jackie & Shauna} (fluff)

help me find myself {Jackie & Nat} (fluff?)

hold me up, tie me down {Lottie/Nat} (fluff??/nx kink)

I apologize for skipping any tracks, it's just the last guy that played me left a couple cracks {Jackie & Shauna} (hurt/comfort)

I can't really explain it, I'm so into you {Jackie/Shauna}

I can't remember to forget you {Jackie & Shauna} (hurt/no comfort)

I'd throw a thousand parties and never be sorry if you'd walk through my door {Lottie/Nat} (fluff)

if it feels good it can't be bad {Lottie/Nat/Everyone?} (adult tl)

I gave your boyfriend cunnilingus on my couch {Shauna/Nat} (t4t) I like how you look when you really beg {Lottie/Nat} (ws)

I loved you from the start {Lottie/Nat} (hurt/no comfort)

I'll dance with my hands above my head {Crystal/Misty Quigley}

I'm coming home {Jackie/Shauna} (fluff)

I'm feeling sexual, so we should be sexual {Nat/Misty}

in the land of gods and monsters, you were an angel {Lottie/Nat}

it's not my fault you're like in love with me [T] {Jackie/Shauna} (drama, slow burn)

I wanna get in trouble, I wanna start a fight {Shauna/Lottie} (angst)

I want you all to myself {Lottie/Nat}

I wish I knew you wanted me {Lottie/Shauna + Jackie/Shauna} (hurt/no comfort)

I would take a bullet for you just to prove my love, only to find out you are the one holding the gun {Jackie & Shauna} (hurt/comfort)

jet set bonnie and clyde {Van/Tai} (additional angst)

know it's for the better {Nat/Lottie} (angst)

like real people do {Jackie/Shauna} (angst)

long story short I survived {Lottie/Nat} (adult tl porn w feelings)

losing sleep every night, keep trying to cover my eyes {Lottie} (agere hurt/no comfort)

love became the high that's the drug and not the pill {Lottie & Nat} (whump)

love you to the moon and to saturn {Shauna & Callie} (hurt/comfort)

now the pain is for pleasure, 'cause nothing can measure {Shauna/Jackie/Lottie}

on her knees like religion {Lottie/Nat} (a/b/o)

one hour, two bottles and straight to the hotel {Lottie/Nat} (ws)

relax and have a good time {Lottie/Nat} (cnc, public play)

to me, you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny {Lottie/Shauna} (emotions?)

we were built to fall apart {Lottie/Laura Lee} (angst, adult tl)

when I think about you I touch myself {Tai/Van + Misty?)

why don't you lay down and sleep, shauna {Lottie & Shauna / Shauna & Jackie} (hurt/no comfort)

wish you were here right now, all of the things I'd do {Jackie/Nat} (phone sex)

you drew stars around my scars {Lottie/Nat or Lottie & Nat} (fluff/agere)

you wanna fuck me right now, you wanna see me on my knees {Jackie/Shauna}

[agooberscanons]

Sitting at home alone, Sayori hums to herself softly as she starts cleaning up her desk. Usually used for doing work at home, today it has deserved a much needed break while the woman didn't have to go to her job today. It's Saturday, after all!

The young woman coos and sways in place as she makes the desk a little more tidy. Sayori's room is more of an organized mess, in that she knows where everything is and should or shouldn't be. She likes it that way, much to the detriment of others who come to visit.

A blank canvas, for once, as she stares at the desktop. It's good for a productive tomorrow, but it looks a little sad and lonely right now. Oh! She can do something she hasn't done in a long time: A little doodle session! It'll be a great idea! She goes to grab some thick cardstock paper and her markers, getting right to work.

Some sunshine, some cows and blue hearts all over are Sayori's telltale signs of her mood. Of course, she's so used to drawing these that her mind starts to wander. Nothing wrong with a little daydreaming, right? She closes her eyes slightly as she keeps on scribbling, clearly focused in her head and no longer on the paper.

She hears a voice. It starts soft, but it is getting louder and stronger. Is that a piano? Suddenly, Sayori is thrust into a spiral of emotions that aren't her own, but are about her. That voice. She knows that voice. It's Monika. She sounds like she's playing her heart out about.... about her.

Sayori jolts back to reality in a loud choking gasp as it seems like she had stopped doing everything while she was under. How...how long had she been sitting there like that, just staring at herself in the mirror? She shakes her head as she tries to brush off the wave of nausea while something catches her attention nearby. Her canvas.

All the hearts and cows and all are still there, but now a very detailed sketch of Monika's anguished face stares back at her. Mid-lyric even, it seems. Tears welling up in her eyes, just like Sayori's are now. She chokes out a sob as she tries to understand what the hell that just was. She knows it had to be real and happen to her because this sketch wasn't here before, but it is literally her handiwork. She knows her own style.

The young woman shakily brushes her fingers along the sketch, unsure of what to do or say. She kind of just slumps into her desk chair and holds her face in her hands, crying quietly to herself. What could she even say?

"........ I don't belong herrrrre............I don't belooooooong herrrrreee..........I don't...... belooooooong........"

She sniffles as she tries to wipe her face and nose, clearly a bit shaken by this experience. She stares at her sketch again, seeing how hurt Monika still looks even through a drawing. She needs a moment to collect herself. The young woman goes to get up and head to the kitchen. She figures that some food might help calm her down enough to figure out what happened and...and maybe call Monika about it later. It hurts a little too fresh right now to focus, otherwise.

However, another song starts pouring out of her own heart that starts to override the sad feelings from Monika's feedback. This one is a little more accurate for them both, she feels, and she'll see how Monika feels about singing it together with her later. Who knows? It helps some of her students to sing, why not her best friend and girlfriend?

"........I see the crystal raindrops fall and the beauty of it all is when the sun comes shining through....to make those rainbows in my mind, when I think of you sometime, and I wanna spend some time with you...~"

"Just the two of us...we can make it if we try! Just the two of us...just the two of us...~", hums the peachette softly while making a surprisingly normal sandwich for once. A little fictitious chicken, some fresh green romaine lettuce, a splurt of mustard and some multi grain bread.

It seems that Monika's life choices are being taken seriously by Sayori enough to at least try being better about how she eats. That means a lot for Sayori to willingly give up a lot of her favorites to try and understand someone else's point of view. She puts a few together, puts everything on else away and munches along quietly as she thinks things over still. This is going to be quite the weekend, it seems.

".......Just the two of us, building big castles in the sky....just the two of us........you and I.......~"