#don't ask why I'm awake at 6am

[cjlouwho]

Bucktommy cuddling in bed, please? Doesn't have to lead to anything, just them being soft.

Since their third date, when Buck told Tommy about his fears after getting struck by lightning and how he spent so long texting Bobby every morning to make sure everything was alright, Buck woke up to a text from Tommy.

Without fail.

Five straight months of 6am texts. Even the days he was working, when he was already awake and had been for a while, he'd still get a text to check in.

That's why Buck's heart nearly sunk directly to the floor when he checked his phone one morning at 6:32am, right after they'd gotten back from a call, to see that Tommy hadn't texted him.

He hesitated briefly, but sent Tommy a heart, followed by a everything okay?

Another thing Tommy had always been great at is answering Buck back quickly. The only time he didn't, or couldn't, was when he was working.

And he wasn't working today.

It didn't take long for Bobby to notice him glaring down at his phone.

“What's wrong, Buck?”

“Oh,” Buck put his phone back in his pocket, waving Bobby off. “It's nothing. No big deal.”

“You sure? Looks like it might be. Everything okay?”

Buck let out a sigh, then explained. “Tommy hasn't missed a morning of texting me for five months. Every single morning, six on the dot.”

“I'm guessing there was no text today?”

Buck shook his head. “No. I texted him, but I haven't heard back. Maybe... Maybe he just overslept? Or forgot, or something.”

“Okay,” Bobby replied with a nod, “well, go get changed and head on out. We've got it covered.”

“But, Cap-”

“Shift ends in thirty minutes anyway. And we both know you won't be able to let it go until you make sure he's alright. Need Eddie to tag along?”

“N- No, I.. I'm sure I'm overreacting.”

“Text me and let me know once you know. And Buck?”

“Yeah, Cap?”

“Try not to panic.”

Not willing to make any promises, Buck turned and headed for his locker.

*****

It took him nearly half an hour to get to Tommy's place, and he didn't think twice about using the key Tommy had given him a couple months back to let himself in. Especially since he still hadn't heard a word from him.

“Tommy?” He spoke cautiously as he entered the house, trying to keep calm against all the negative thoughts running through his mind.

No answer.

The house was dark. It didn't look like Tommy had been up at all. If it weren't for his car out front, Buck wouldn't think he was there.

He moved further into the house, heading down the hall toward Tommy's bedroom.

“Tommy?” His voice was shaky this time, unsteady.

The door squeaked as he pushed it open, but he immediately sighed a breath of relief when the body tangled up under the covers moved.

“Evan?” Tommy questioned, eyes squinting toward him in confusion. “Why're you here?”

“I'm checking on you.” Buck toed off his shoes and walked over to the bed, crawling up beside Tommy. “Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out and resting a hand over his forehead. “You don't feel hot.”

“M'fine,” Tommy answered, wrapping the blankets tighter around his neck. His voice still sounded rough from sleep. “What time is it? You're supposed to be at work.”

“It's a little past seven. I got worried when I didn't get a text from you this morning. Cap let me leave early.”

“Seven?” Tommy looked even more confused by that. He turned and grabbed his phone off the nightstand, shoulders slumping when he confirmed the time. “God, Evan, I'm sorry. I- I didn't know.”

“It's okay,” Buck assured him. “I'm just glad you're not severely injured or dead, like my head decided you were on the way over.”

Tommy smiled softly, holding out his arms for Buck to come lay in.

Happily, Buck pushed the comforter back on his usual side of the bed and laid beside Tommy, resting his head on his chest.

With one of Tommy's hands soothingly rubbing up and down his back, and the other massaging at his scalp, Buck almost allowed himself to be completely at ease.

Almost.

Because he still knew that something was wrong, even if he couldn't quite figure it out yet.

After pressing a kiss to Tommy's pec, Buck asked again, “Are you okay?”

Tommy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he answered. “My mom died thirty years ago today,” he admitted.

Buck stilled, then brought his arm to wrap tighter around Tommy's waist. “Oh, Tommy, I- I had no idea.” He leaned up slightly to be able to look at him. “You didn't tell me before, did you? Because-”

“No, no. I don't ever really talk about it, so I'm sure I've never mentioned it.”

Carefully, Buck rolled off of Tommy, lying flat on the bed. He pulled Tommy along with him, having him rest inside his arms instead. “I decided you're the one needing held today,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Tommy's head.

Tommy laid on him with his eyes closed, listening to the sound of Buck's heart thumping in his chest. “I don't usually miss her this much,” he said. “I mean, I always miss her, but anniversaries don't usually make it worse.”

“Grief has a way of sneaking up on you when you don't expect it.”

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed. “It's kind of a pain in the ass.”

Buck huffed out a laugh. “Yes, it is.”

“I just... I think about talking to her a lot. Telling her about my life, you know?”

“Mhm.”

“And there's always been updates here and there. She would have hated me being in the army. Would've been worried sick. She would still worry about me as a firefighter, but she would have been proud. But I think,” he paused, snuggling closer to Buck, “I think this is the first time I could've told her all about my personal life, not just the work stuff.”

Buck's hand stilled from where his fingertips had lightly been brushing over Tommy's arm. “Oh yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah. All these years I've just gone over what work accomplishments I could have talked to her about. I didn't even think about that this time.”

Carefully, Buck scooted further down into the bed. He maneuvered them around until they were both on their sides facing one another. He tangled their legs together, and they each slung an arm around the other's waist.

“What would you have said?” Buck asked. “About your life?”

Tommy smiled. “You wanna hear me talk about you?”

“Oh, this life conversation includes me?” Buck replied cheekily. “I guess that's just a plus.”

Tommy stared into Buck's eyes as he thought over his words. “I would've told her that my friend Howie called me one day and asked me for an insane favor. A favor I probably should've thought twice about, but I didn't. And how he showed up with these two other guys who I'd never seen before. Then one of those guys would go on to make me happier than I ever thought possible.”

Even as he teared up, a smile grew on Buck's face. “You mean Eddie, don't you?”

That got a laugh out of Tommy. A big laugh where his eyes closed and his nose scrunched up. “I'd also tell her he always knows how to make me feel better. And he's good to me, and for the first time in my life I feel complete.”

“You do?” Buck asked, eyes going soft.

“I do. I'd tell her that this guy never stops surprising me. How he cares so deeply about everyone around him that I constantly have to remind him that he exists too. How fiercely protective he is. How safe I feel with him.”

Buck fought at blinking his tears away. He cleared his throat. “Do you think your mom would wanna meet me?”

“Oh, I know she'd wanna meet you. She'd be crazy about you.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Good. Because I'd like to tell her more about her son.”

“Evan.”

“I'm serious.” Buck brought his hand to Tommy's face, stroking his cheek. “I'd love to tell her what a great job she did raising you. How gentle you are, how loving and patient you are. How you always listen, and you seem to know how I'm feeling before I do. How I- I'd love to spend the rest of my life beside you, if you'd let me.”

Tommy swallowed hard. “Really?”

Buck nodded.

It wasn't a proposal. They didn't even live together yet. But it was a promise. A promise of a future together without an expiration date.

Tommy cradled himself into Buck's arms again. “I love you so much, Evan.”

Buck held him tight, hoping the depth of love he had for Tommy could be felt through his touch. “I love you too, Tommy.”

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖THE LIGHTNING ON TRACK | THE GRID'S REACTION

fandom. formula one & mcu

about. the grid reacts to the news!

content warnings. some drivers are acting like assholes, some cursewords, 23!grid

notes. have another reaction chapter hehe

daniel ricciardo Guys

Guys wake up

IT'S IMPORTANT

lando norris ???

daniel it's 5am, why are you spamming rn

carlos sainz It's summer break, why can't you all shut up for once

daniel ricciardo Did no one see the news? Stark is coming to F1

carlos sainz To a race?

daniel ricciardo No you shithead, he's making a team

charles leclerc !!!!

lando norris at this point you'll never win monaco (because once stark joins, there no longer will BE monaco) charles leclerc Fuck you, nowins

daniel ricciardo This is serious... Tony fucking Stark wants to create an F1 team for the next season. @/max verstappen your winning streak will be over

charles leclerc Next season??? I thought for 26?

lewis hamilton Of course he would do that

charles leclerc Lewis, explain?? daniel ricciardo Yeah Lewis, please explain?

lewis hamilton Did any of you ever meet Tony? He will probably see the next season as test for the 2026 season. To train his mechanics and engineers and go all out. I bet many are saying it's a waste of money

carlos sainz It is a waste of money.

daniel ricciardo Yeah, they do. Reactions vary but 'experts' are saying that Tony is just wasting his time and should properly prepare for 26

lewis hamilton Knowing him, he already has a fully built car for 2026 and it's a beast.

fernando alonso Only the best for his daughter!

charles leclerc What. lando norris wdym his daughter??

george russell Why are you all awake at this bloody hour?

kevin magnussen Read the room. Everyone is in schock.

sergio perez Stupid. She will fail like every woman in motorsport with a rich father. Too dramatic.

lando norris i'm still confused???

oscar piastri Tony Stark has three children. Harley Keener-Stark, Y/n L/n-Stark, Peter Parker-Stark. Y/n is his only biological child and currently racing in Formula 3. She won Formula 4 last year.

charles leclerc I thought he only had sons?? When did Y/n appear? oscar piastri She 'appeared' the first time in January this year as Tony's daughter, no one knew before. lando norris how did you know? oscar piastri Google exists.

carlos sainz So daddy's money... great.

max verstappen I swear to god I will leave this chat the next time you all decide to fucking gossip at 6am like old women

daniel ricciardo It's important news!

max verstappen No it's not. Stark will be in F1 for a few years maximum and then leave again. It will pass

daniel ricciardo @/lewis hamilton you here? Don't you have anything else to add??

Fine, I'll guess I just ask the rest of the grid, you fucking bore.

daniel ricciardo @/everyone wakey wakey, it's time to wake up and talk!

mick schumacher Daniel? What's up?

george russell Ignore him. He has been annoying us because Tony Stark is coming to F1 and no one really cares. charles leclerc Lies and slander! I care!! lando norris yeah! me as well, idk what you're yapping abt

carlos sainz It's bullshit.

arthur leclerc Why do I have a bad feeling about Monaco...

ollie bearman THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING bianca bustamante It will be something for sure

lance stroll Well, I'm just happy to see another friendly face at the paddock :)

carlos sainz Of course you know Stark.

lance stroll You're just jealous esteban ocon As am I??? I'm your best friend AND MY BEST FRIEND HAS THE POTENTIAL OF KNOWING SPIDER-MAN???? AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME???????

daniel ricciardo I want everyone who knows anything related to Stark to immediately share with us because Lewis is ignoring me and I need to know. The only info we have right now, is that Stark will make a F1 team and that's it. I refuse to believe that's it. So, @/mick schumacher @/lance stroll spill the beans.

mick schumacher He didn't say anything last time I saw him, so I can't help you much.

lance stroll I know nothing, ask my dad.

daniel ricciardo I don't believe you.

pato o'ward If they say they don't know anything, then they don't? I don't know what's the problem, just wait for the next press release

max verstappen Do you even know Daniel. He's unable to wait for gossip. And he classifies this as gossip

daniel ricciardo Gee, thanks, feeling the love here

nico hülkenberg I wake up to 100+ notifications, why are you all like this?

kevin magnussen They're all idiots.

kevin magnussen @/tony stark could you please speed up with the press release? Daniel is setting all grid chats on fire and it's not funny anymore.

y/n stark ha, weak ass bitch kevin magnussen Watch your mouth missy

tony stark Should I tag Seb in a Tweet to announce it?

peter stark do it y/n stark do it harley stark do it

pepper potts-stark Don't do it. We will proceed with the plan. No matter how annoying the people in your private life are.

kevin magnussen Yes, ma'am, sorry for asking.

sebastian vettel I deserve more than a Tweet at 10am.

y/n stark speak your truth king peter stark sorry for suggesting otherwise (@/yn stark stop being such an attention seeker, we all know seb loves charles the most) y/n stark but charles is not here rn is he?

daniel ricciardo @/kevin magnussen EXPLAIN YOURSELF?!

carlos sainz What is going on now...

charles leclerc KMAG FOR STARK???? I didn't put this on my bingo card, now I lost 100 bucks. Fuck you Kevin

arthur leclerc Pay up bitch

oscar piastri Well done, man

nico hülkenberg And so he leaves he burning, ever sinking ship... the true hero- sorry, I meant coward

daniel ricciardo @/kevin magnussen I KNOW YOU'RE ONLINE YOU COWARD, COME HERE

I just want to talk to you

kevin magnussen No.

*kevin magnussen has left the chat*

fernando alonso There is your answer

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ARKHAM MAID 2024

[couldawouldashoulda50]

Also, before going to Sweden (when William said I miss you), did they have flirty exchange before meeting up in real life? And after, when Loren will be back in Toronto before William, will they participate in some good ol’ phone sex? Or send some pics?

Thanks Nonnie - The pre-Sweden exchanges are more William and Loren reconnecting - mostly William sending her little messages to let her know that he's thinking about her. That he's excited for her to come and see him in his beloved Stockholm. The post-Sweden exchanges kind of led me to outline pretty much a full blurb. Forgive me, I did this on the fly and haven't proofread it really - I hope the essence still comes through.

18+ under the Cut

"Text me when you get home, okay? Don't drive if you're too tired...get an Uber or something. Promise?" William asked.

It actually made William feel good to verbally dote on Loren. Half-way through an unexpected back-to-back 18-hour shift due to lack of staffing at the group home, William was trying to make sure Loren got home safely, even if he was still in Stockholm while doing so.

William could hear Loren smile in her voice. "I promise I will text you as soon as I'm in the driveway."

"Not in the driveway - fully in your house, with the doors locked, all the closets checked and under you bed too."

"Now you're freaking me out," she chuckled softly, with a mix of appreciation and admiration for him being so protective of her. "But yes, I will go through the house and let you know it's all clear. It'll be well after midnight though, my time - I don't think you'll be awake."

There was a slight pause - neither of them wanted to hang up.

Loren sighed. No offence to those she supported, but she's much rather be back in Sweden, stroking William's chest hair. "Okay, William - get some sleep...what time are you teeing off tomorrow?" "Sort of early - 9:30."

William hesitated for another moment, trying to think of a way to keep her on the line just a little longer.

"I'm lonely - I wish you were still here. It's not as easy to get to sleep," William said softly. Loren blushed as her heart soared. "Why - because I bored you so much with my long-winded stories?" Loren laughed, realizing quickly that maybe it wasn't the best time to joke since William was having a moment.

William chuckled. "Fuck....nothing you did to me before bed was even close to boring."

"I wish I could talk you through what I would do to make you sleepy. But I'm feeding Jack right now and G-A-R-Y can hear me."

Gary rolled his eyes at he sat in his chair by the television and spoke in his usual slower drawl. "I can spell y'know. Can you make me my tea?" "Please and thank-you," Loren reminded him.

Hearing William's notorious chuckle at the other end made her chest ache with how much she missed him. "I better go. Try and get some rest, okay?" "Make sure you text me - what you should be pulling in around what - just after midnight, so just after 6am here, right?" "That's right and I promise, I will text. Goodnight, William." "Night Loren. Be safe, ok?"

William's thumb hovered over the screen, finally tapping the end call icon when he accepted his fate - lying in bed and missing Loren. She had been gone for just over a week - the days flew by but the evenings, once he was back at his place and in bed, dragged on. The need that he wanted to have fulfilled could only be satisfied by Loren, and he ached to feel her body next to him. He swiped through pictures that he took of Loren in Monaco, looking for the set of her in a red bikini when a text message appeared from Loren.

If I was there, I would be loving on Cowboy Bill - just like the night before I left.

William laughed at the reference - a name Loren gave his appendage one night after she swore she could not get enough of riding him. God, she made him laugh...especially when things like that roll off of her tongue. He then suddenly remembered the keepsake he made of their last evening in Sweden. It was one of the most incredible experiences of William's romantic life which he just happened to record (with her permission of course). He clicked on the file on his phone, and the still image that appeared at the start of the video quickly refreshed William's memory of his last night with Loren.

◈◈◈

The idea of Loren giving William a cock massage came to her while her mind idled as she packed her suitcase. After a quick online search, it turns out, she had all the right ideas in her head, despite never having done it before. After their guests had left, the lake house was solely theirs for the last night of Loren's stay. She had prepared the bed as the focal point of their sanctuary for the night. Fresh cotton linens with a hint of lavender essence covered the mattress and pillows. Fluffy towels were folded neatly on a chair at the foot of the bed. Loren had found a stash of candles and strategically placed them throughout the room, lighting them just before William walked in.

Once he appeared at the doorway, he grinned at Loren first with surprise and then with adoration.

After several long and passionate kisses, Loren gently removed all of William's clothing and instructed him to lie on his back on the bed. She softly explained a few additional instructions, and then had him lay on his stomach for a full body massage.

William moaned in total relaxation as Loren smoothed her hands all over William's well oiled body.

After several minutes, she had William turn onto his back. Sitting upright, Loren positioned herself between his thighs as she continued to massage his upper thighs, towards his balls.

William was half out of it, but he managed to ask Loren if she could take a video of what she was doing. She looked breathtaking in her scalloped bra and g-string panties and he was desperate to keep this moment in his phone.

Loren set up William's cell on the nightstand, the camera capturing her full frontal, adjusting from William's POV.

When she first began slowly stroking his shaft, she lightly kissed the glistening head of his penis.

Then she began to softly worship Cowboy Bill verbally as she stroked and smoothed her hands over his pelvis and genitals. Her words followed, softly flowing from her mouth in a meditative and hypnotic rhythm. "You're so good to me - you make me feel so good." "You are the most perfect cock I have ever seen." "God - your long, thick shaft is so amazing."

No one had ever treated him this way before, with such complete and undivided attention. In that moment, her words and her touch brought such intense pleasure to William that it truly felt spiritual.

Every minute and every step of the massage transcended the previous one. Her voice guided him to communicate his likes and dislikes, his body floating further into the state of bliss.

After almost an hour of Loren's worship, William erupted. Loren remained sitting between his legs, watching William float back down before cleaning up the long ribbons of cum that were shot up her forearm and on William's pelvis. She turned off the recording and set the phone face down on the nightstand. William couldn't think of the exact words that he wanted to say, but he brought Loren in as close as he could against him, whispering how incredible that he felt. That's was all he could muster in that moment. ◈◈◈

William had already achieved the desired outcome long before the video ended, leaving him tired and ready for sleep.

He sent one last message to Loren.

I watched that video we made - worked like a charm. Cowboy Bill says Goodnight 🍆👄😘

[tetsuski]

why try?

train

pairing: gojo Satoru x fem!reader

friends to lovers

word count: 1.8k

warning : none

summary: first time traveling out of town with gojo

mlist

previous

a/n: hope u like this chapter!

what the fuck?

"L/N Y/N WAKE THE FUCK UP!!" you hear a familiar voice shouting and banging against your door it's still 6am on a saturday why would anyone come visit you this early? sitting up from your bed and still trying to process what's going on

"L/n-chan~, i can sense that you're already awake now~" once you finally recognized the voice you realize it's gojo satoru, why the fuck is he here? and then the realization hits

shit

you promised your friend you're gonna accompany him while he train.

for what exactly? you don't know. it's not like he needs it he's THE Gojo Satoru, goddamnit.

you fall back on your bed flipped yourself over and scream into your pillows not long after you leave your bed and start to get ready

today marked one year of you being in jujutsu high

it means its been a year of you leaving the world you've ever known behind

almost everything from the past now gone.

as soon as u open the door you're greeted by a high pitched voice from your classmate

"gooodddd morning, sunshineeee!!"

"y/n-chann~ are you not gonna greet me a good morning back? ouch you've wounded my heart" Gojo acting like he was offended with his hands clutching on his chest "good morning, Satoru" rolling your eyes.

"here, I got you your morning drink"

"thanks" looking at the can and back at him with your eyebrows furrowed

"why are you looking at me like that"

"like what?"

"like this" he imitate your face

"I just woke up five minutes ago, that's just what my face looks like"

he hums he puts his hand on your head moving his thumb between your eyebrows and starts rubbing it "There, all better" he smiles, removing his hands away.

you feel your heartbeat moves faster, your blood rushing up to your cheeks, and your ears turning red so you move your face away from him fighting back from screaming on top of your lungs. you dont know why he always know how to make you nervous.

"where are the others?" trying your best to sound like normal

"they died." Gojo blurted out. you squint your eyes at the lanky man shooting him a death stare and slapping his side "I'm joking! Suguru is still asleep and doesn't want to be bothered and Ieiri went on a run. but she said she'll catch up soon " he explained with his hands up in the air in defense "that's not something to joke about, Satoru"

as the two of you making your way towards the building exit.

"I don't understand why you need me. when I can't even use any of my so-called 'powers'" making a quotation mark with your hand to prove a point

"yeah, but your combat skills are good " he answer as the tall white haired opened the exit

"so no powers?" gojo asked as he took his place on the field.

"um duh it wouldn't be fair" you rolls eyes jokingly

"oh and sensei said we're meeting the new first years tomorrow" Getou announced.

it's lunchtime and you're now seated beside Gojo with Shoko and Getou at the opposite end of the table

"Maybe this year y/n will get to date one of them... " Gojo joked wrapping his arm around your shoulders

"shut the fuck up gojo sometimes i want to hold your neck so tightly until you fell unconscious" you snarled

"that's choking" Shoko giggles.

"exactly"

" i didn't know you were kinky— is this what single-ness does to you? becoming viole-" his voice is cut off because you shoves a cold desert into his open mouth coughing loudly trying not to choke.

"shut the fuck up asswipe" you laugh watching him chewing the sweets you just shoved. "that's rude" he pouted "thanks for the mochi though " he smiled noticing the way you look at him.

you didn't realize you were staring at him until someone interrupted your train of thoughts.

"i thought you and Satoru were dating to be honest " Shoko quipped

feeling heat creeping up to your face "pppfftt...wha— no. what do you mean? what makes you say that? hahaha... we don't see each other like tha—" trying to wave it off but another voice interrupted you

"wow this is good" gojo said while taking another one of your mochi. "stop! go buy some yourself" swatting his hands away from the box.

"nakamura-san always make the best mochi. hmm " you beamed putting one into your mouth.

"have any of you seen utahime?" Shoko asked lighting up the cigarette in her mouth.

holding your hand in the air as a way of saying 'hold on let me chew' "Yaga sensei called her. Pretty sure she'll be going on a mission—"As you were answering her question a sudden voice came from behind you

"I'm right here"

"holy shit— don't do that! I almost have a heart attack!"

"eheheh sorry" Utahime apologize rubbing the back of her neck "Yaga-sensei said he need you and Gojo to see him now" she informed.

"why?" you and Gojo asked at the same time

"I dont know? can I have one of those?" asking for one piece of your green balls.

"yeah sure. here" Gojo answered for you handing her the box.

"what the fuck?!?!I'm not finished yet!" he grabs you by the elbow pulling you away from your seat

"let's go y/n-chan~" walking away from the group.

the group watches you and Gojo walk away and when you finally out of their sight Getou began "I saw Satoru kissing a girl a week ago"

"oh my god, who?" Shoko lean her elbow on the table putting her weight onto her arms

"I don't know, didn't asked him"

"i honestly thought he finally gonna make a move on her. what a dumbass" Shoko groaned putting her cheek on the table in front of her

"a move on who?" Utahime

"are you serious right now?" Getou and Shoko raised their eyebrows at the long-haired girl

"y/n?"

"of course its y/n! who else would it be?" Getou exclaimed

"bleh. sorry. but even if he did I doubt y/n want date him" she pointed out

"why is that?" they egged on

"because he's gojo satoru? he's loud?"

"so is she" Getou point out

"he's annoying and a big meanie?"

"can't argue with that" Shoko nods

"did you just say 'big meanie'" Getou laughs "How old are you?" continuing to tease her

"I'm literally older than you have home respect" Utahime slaps her hand on the table pointing at the boy before her.

after your meeting with Yaga-sensei, he told you and Gojo to go to a small town far away to retrieve a scroll that's apparently being held captive by a curse and that leads you to where you are right now sitting in front of the white-haired creature on a train for the next 6 hours

"we should've just used an airplane there. it's not too late, you know? it can still take us there faster than this stupid train if we just stop at the next station" Gojo suggested

" no " you replied.

"why not?" leaning closer to you

"It's expensive" you answered

"really? it can't be that bad " pulling away from you crossing his arms on his chest resting his back on his chair with a raised eyebrow.

"yeah, sure" rolling your eyes.

" 'sure' as in we can stop at the nex—"

"i said no. besides it's my first time on a train " poking your straw to a small box full of caffeine " I want the full experience" holding your other hand to a fist dramatically "you can leave me here though, I don't really mind I'll catch you up there. you can book us an inn or something" holding your own drink with both hands as you take your first sip

he snorts "whatever" ignoring your last sentence he rest his arms on top of his table "I'm gonna take a nap " resting his head on the makeshift cushion. "you should rest too though don't want you half asleep fighting curses"

you hummed looking out to the window and let your mind occupied you for the night.

two hours has passed you heard soft snores looking away from the window to see your classmate sleeping

huh

his sunglasses has fallen down from his face eyebrows furrowed together, eyes are closed his beautiful white eyelashes resting on his reddened cheeks.

he looks so... adorable.

without second thoughts you subconsciously leaning closer to him reaching out your hand to caresses his hair but to your luck something slowed your hand

fuck

you can't pull away your hands

"of course he put got his infinity on, y/n why are you so stupid!" you whispered to yourself.

you saw him stirred

shit.

his body start shifting

please dont wake up please don't—

he opened his eyes registering what had touched him his eyes widened realizing somebody is centimeters away from his face turning off his barrier, he moves his head away from her

in a blink of an eye your forehead suddenly clashed with his letting out a loud yelp from your mouth.

" ouch" you whined rubbing your forehead.

realizing he just hit his own classmate on the head.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to— I thought you were" putting his hands on your face cupping your face "Are you hurt? I sense something about to touch me, I didn't mean to hit you at least give a guy a warning before touching him why don't ya?" thumb rubbing your forehead softly

you stared at him in awe taking in every little detail on his face after what felt like forever you realize how close you both are

"well i saw that your glasses fell off and i was about to be a good friend and take your glasses to put it somewhere safer" lies.

"oh. sorry" he chuckled to himself rubbing the back of his neck.

an awkward silence filled the air.

"are you cold?" you asked him

"yeah" no he's not.

"do you want to...?" gesturing to the blanket you brought.

"if you want" he shrugged.

standing up from your seat making your way to his seat sitting beside him "Here" you said as you covered both his and your lap with the fabric "Thank you" he whispered loud enough for you to hear.

"sorry for waking you up" you mumbled out "it's okay" he reassured "are you tired?" he asked looking at you in the eyes.

"well yeah... it's 3 am but I can't sleep" you replied looking down at your lap and avoiding his gaze "Just rest your eyes a bit and lean on me" moving your head on his shoulder. following his direction you close your eyes feeling warmth and comfort within him

and with that, you're gone sleeping peacefully with the Gojo Satoru pulling you into his arms

despite how uncomfortable sleeping while sitting was somehow it was the best sleep you've ever gotten in a while.

[sunghoonnsupremacy]

#LOVETALK! - warnings : cuss words, mentions of sexual activity

004. - 005.

"wake up, soomin-ah. " jungwon shakes me awake, sunlight peeking through the blinds. I stir in the bed covers, groaning at my high level of tiredness.

"come on. we have to go. " he sighs, caressing my cheek with his left palm. I sit up and look at him, noticing my dress is missing.

"what's the time? " "6am. we should get out before a sober beomgyu realises we're in his bed." he lets a hushed whisper and rubs his eyes exhausted.

I groan and throw myself back on the bed. "fuck him. I'm tired. " I close my eyes, ready to rest when jungwon abruptly pulls me up by my hands, and the covers off of my tired body. "you can sleep at mine, just hurry up. "

I sigh in exaggeration and nod defeatedly. I walk over to the other side of the room where my clothes lie on the wooden floor.

"why is my dress ripped jungwon? " I slowly turn at him, noticing a sheepish smile on his face. "well.. "

FOUR HOURS AGO. - 2am.

"mmm jungwon-" my moan gets cut off by a sound of my dress ripping in half. I widen my eyes and my jaw falls open.

"you dick! did you just rip my dress? that was EXPENSIVE!! " I slap his hand away and pout.

"oops? wanted an easy access to your tits, my bad. " he sarcastically pouts back and unclips my bra from the back surprisingly quickly.

I feel my nipples harden at the cold air blowing from the half opened window, arching my back slightly. "not my problem you're impatient. you could've asked me first. " I subtly roll my eyes at him, only to get harshly grabbed by the jaw.

"don't give me an attitude or this'll end in you crying, understood? " his eyes darken for a moment before diving back to sucking and peppering my boobs with kisses.

NOW. - 6am.

"oh my fucking god, what the hell? " I whine and throw the ripped dress at him. "Im sorry I thought you wouldn't remember it. " he walks over to me and pouts. "kisses? " he leans in to kiss me, my hand stopping him.

"no." I harshly glare at him and he rolls his eyes. "fine whatever i don't care bye" he falls facedown onto the bed like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

I grimace at him and put my bra on, finding a random shirt in the closet, presumably beomgyus.

I walk over to him and smack his ass so he gets up. "what the hell soomin?" he winces in pain and hurriedly stands up to glare at me. "you said we should hurry, so hurry up" I open the door quietly, hearing it creek loudly to my luck.

"fuck was this house built in 1900 or what? " I whisper-groan and walk out with a grumpy jungwon following me.

reaching the bottom of the stairs, jungwon spins me around. I yelp in suprise but he kisses me in time before I could make more noise. kissing him back, he pulls away and smirks. "that's for this morning. "

I playfully roll my eyes at him and slowly open the front door. "ill call us a uber. have my jacket, you look cold. " he offers with a sly smile and I take it but glare at him being the reasoning of me wearing nothing but beomgyus shirt and lacy panties.

anyway, as we arrive to his place, he unlocks the door leads me to his bedroom. its grey, led lights stuck around the corners and a gaming set up. my eyes run across the room when I suddenly see a photo.. of me? getting closer I see that it's a 100% picture from a couple months ago when I was out shopping.

what the hell? I hear jungwons footsteps and quickly jump into the bed, ignoring the picture even though im morally petrified.

"I see you're getting comfortable already. " jungwon smirks at me and takes off his shirt. my eyes widen as I take his defined abs in notice. he crawls in next to me and leans on his hand to make eye contact with me. "what? " he smiles and says, "have I told you how pretty you are? "

I furrow my eyebrows and think back to all the times he's beat me up or made me choke on his dick. I shake my head and say "no".

he frowns. "really? I should start saying it more then" not knowing how to reply, I smile at him and turn around. "goodnight." a confused sound leaves his mouth "huh? you're going to sleep? " I mutter a yes and groan. "you told me i could sleep at yours, jungwon. "

"well yeah but I didn't think you'd actually go to sleep. " he pouts and crawls closer to me so he can wrap his arms around my waist. "let me at least sleep with you. " jungwon mutters against my chest.

I nod and close my eyes.

TIMESKIP.

hearing him snore, I quickly shimmer out of his hold and leave the room. feeling more than uncomfortable by the idea of him stalking me, I leave through the back door and walk a few neighborhoods to call aeri to pick me up.

"god.. i knew he was an asshole but a creep? " i rub my eyes and thank the lord when i see aeris car pull up.

"hey, what's the rush? you okay? " she immediately pulls me into a hug. i hug her back and when she drives off i give her the whole explanation from last night till this morning. she notices my sullen expression and pouts.

"do you wanna go straight home or should we go to my place? " while driving, aeri smiles at me before looking back at the road. i sigh knowing that jungwon will look for me at my apartment. "your place, please. i don't think ill feel comfortable staying alone today"

she nods and the two of sit in silence for the rest of the ride. looking out of the cars passenger seat window, I think back to what I saw. im still somewhat shocked about the fact he has a picture of me, but not that weirded out. its better than other shit I could think of. I mean god knows what he does with that picture but as long as he leaves me alone I think I'll be okay.

he also still hasn't called me which means he's either still sleeping or looking for me. Id hope its the first option, hence me not wanting to see him for a while. but is that really even an option when it comes to jungwon? most likely not.

hes extremely clingy, he's always been clingy. even when he used to bully me. it's weird, but I've gotten used to it.

now is when I start to panic. what if he calls me? or texts me? or worse.. finds me? what do I even say? I have to make up a lie that will not make him suspicious but also sound believable enough as to why I left without saying anything or waking him up.

maybe if I just tell him its a family issue. or a friend issue? school issue. bullshit! why would he believe that? for the most part, let's hope he won't call.

all off a sudden, my phone starts ringing. fucking jinx. I do a quick prayer before checking who it is and to my suprise its the one and only yang jungwon. fuck.

"yes? " I pick it up hesitantly and take the phone to my ear so aeri won't hear. "where the fuck are you soomin? " I could hear his frantic voice from the other side, almost as if he was pacing around for no genuine reason.

i gulp and make up a lie, "sorry but my mom called me because she needed help with setting up new furniture in her house. I didn't want to wake you" I smile proudly at my great and improved lie until I hear him sigh. "okay. call me once your done, mkay? I wanna see you. " upon hearing this, I hum in agreement and end the call.

"was that him? " aeri asks, eventually pulling up in her driveway. I nod and get out of the car, excited to finally rest.

"what did he say? " she unlocks the wooden door to her apartment and smiles at me comfortingly. "just that he wants to see me later. I think im okay for now though. " I welcome myself into her cozy household by sitting on the couch into a manspread and closing my eyes.

"you can have some ramen I made earlier. I'll be in my bedroom okay? just knock if you need anything. " she kisses my forehead and hurries to her room. I sigh and decide it'd be best for me to sleep for now, hence the fact I got no sleep at two different houses in one night.

my phone pings. for fucks sake, what's up with my sleep schedule today? I groan and unlock it, only to see a chat from jungwon. gosh he's so extremely clingy it's annoying.

[fxchild]

The Switch

Miles Fairchild x fem!reader

Chapter five: apology accepted

Miles pov

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm laying on my bed with my lamp light on wide awake. It's 12:30 in the morning which means only another hour until Y/n gets home. I've had a bad feeling in my gut all morning and I think it's trying to tell me something. I honestly don't even know why I'm THIS concerned. I've never even talked to girls and all of the sudden she has my full attention. I think what I need is another get away, maybe she'll be gone by then and I won't have to be breathing down her neck.

My thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing. Hoping it was Y/n calling I ran to pick it up. "Hello?" I say eager to hear the voice on the other line.

"Miles?" I hear a girl's voice slurred with a lot of loud voices in the back. "Can you hear me alright?" She asked sounding scared.

"Yeah I can hear you fine, what's going on?" Can she stop asking dumbass questions and get to the point?

"Yeah um, I need you to pick me up. The party is getting bad and I can't drive and there are a bunch of creepy people here and I'm really scared-" she is spiraling at this point so I cut her off.

"Jesus are you serious Y/n? Give me the address, I'll write it down and I'll be there, how long does it take to get there?" I assure and ask her.

"About an hour and 15. The address is 1127 Plymouth drive." She replies as I write it down.

"I'll be there just don't talk to anyone and sit in front of the house or something." I tell her while putting my shoes and jacket on over my red sweater. We disconnect on the phone and I leave to go find a cab. I was lucky there was some around especially the fact it was so late.

I arrived at the house and she wasn't lying, the party was fucking insane. If I wasn't here to pick her up I would have partied now. I looked around the yard to see Y/n almost passed out on the front steps leaning against the railing.

"Y/n!" I shouted to her and her eyes immediately burst open looking for me. She gets up and almost falls down the steps walking crookedly towards me. I catch her as she almost falls. "What the hell happened to you?" I ask, surprised she would be this irresponsible. She doesn't answer just slurs a little and we go to find her car. She may have lost almost all consciousness but at least she didn't lose her keys. I put her in the back seat so she can get some sleep while we're driving. I'm kind of nervous because I have only got a few driving lessons but we make it back home safe. Nice to say I'm NEVER driving again.

I lift her out of the back seat and I can smell all sorts of alcohol on her breath. She is mumbling but I can sort of understand what she is saying. It's along the lines of, "puke, hair, hold, and-" fuck. She started vomiting everywhere and it smelled like shit. I held her hair and looked away while she gagged everything up on the grass. She started sobbing uncontrollably and hugged me with a tight grip.

Her legs started to get weak so I helped her up and walked her back to her room. I let her get changed while I stood outside her room. She walks up to the door and starts to talk with a little slur.

"Thank you, Miles. I know you don't know how to be social, but I really appreciate it." She says starting to cry again. I smile to myself just a little bit not letting her words sink in too much. I sit outside her door for a little while just in case she needs to throw up again. Though I really don't think she can because it looked like she hurled all of Thanksgiving dinner. She kept me awake with her loud throaty sobs but soon enough she fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your pov

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up at 6am with my head pounding like crazy. I tried to remember what happened last night but all I remember was taking shots. I get up to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth because it reeks like throw up.

Walking out of my room I see from the corner of my eye a sleeping Miles up against the wall next to my door. I don't want to disturb his sleep now with my nasty breath so I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I'm heading back to my room I see Miles is no longer there. I don't think about it too much cause I'm too hung over to care about anything right now. I stay in my pajamas because who really cares what I wear?

I go downstairs to see if Miles is with Flora but I see no sign of him. He probably went back to his room to sleep and I don't blame him. Flora is finishing up her paper I assigned her from the book I gave her yesterday while I'm reading books trying to figure out how to get rid of a hangover.

It's been over an hour and Miles still hasn't come down to watch Flora. I'm in the middle of reading her paper and I can't focus because I'm wondering if I did something wrong. I don't think I said anything to him when I came back but I honestly can't believe I drove home drunk and I'm not dead. Maybe I got a ride from Erick or something and I said a snarky comment when I came back into the house?

It's been another half hour and Miles finally comes down like it could've taken him any fucking longer. As soon as I heard footsteps to the room entrance I turned my head so quickly it almost snapped. Miles doesn't look mad, which is good because I really don't want him mad. I'm sitting at a table with Flora who is next to me while Miles is behind me his hands gripping the back of my chair.

"Morning Flora, Y/n." He says groggily.

I didn't say anything because I was really close to passing out and didn't even think I could get another word out of my mouth. Flora on the other hand, is jumping for joy when she sees him because she hated doing the paperwork I assigned. By the time Flora finished her work it was 11:30 am and she had the rest of the day to do whatever she wanted. I, myself didn't have any work to do either so I decided I was going to go upstairs and sleep until dinner. I told Miles I was going to be in my room doing school work and only come get me if it is very urgent. He just nodded his head and I went to my room giddy for my sleep.

I woke up around 5pm because I had a bad dream. I don't understand why I had a nightmare because I hadn't had one for a few days and now I'm suddenly getting them again? It wasn't crazy bad but honestly I'd rather not have a dream at all.

I head to the dining room for dinner and I see Flora and Ms. Grose there but no Miles. He comes 2 minutes after I do and we have dinner. It's kind of awkward because to Ms. Grose and Miles it's obvious I had a rough night last night and I'm probably not gonna be allowed for another, "family function" until the day I die.

After dinner I followed Miles to his room to ask about last night. "Hey," I said knocking on his door, "can I come in?" I ask. "Yeah, sure." He replies back.

"So I don't know what happened last night, if I did anything wrong but I feel like there's been tension all day between us and I really wanna know if I did something bad." I blurted out really fast because I'm nervous about his reaction.

"Okay, well," he starts, with eyebrows raised kind of amused, "at almost one in the morning, you call me, drunk, telling you to pick you up from some party because you are scared and can't drive home. Then when I pick you up I have to drive back, which I didn't know how to do. Finally when we got home you puked everywhere and cried yourself to sleep. So yeah, I'd say you were a little irresponsible." He says in a, "I told you, you shouldn't have gone to that party" tone. I look at him with pure shock and embarrassment. I honestly can't believe I did all that but now it's starting to come back to me.

"Oh fuck, Miles I'm really sorry about that. If I could make it up to you please tell me how." I said feeling really guilty.

He pauses for a moment looking at my eyes, lips, then to the floor. He curls his lips into a smile but doesn't say anything. Finally he looks at me and says, "Doesn't matter anyways, I'm probably going to be leaving again for a little bit soon. Need to clear my head, you know?"

I scoff at him. "Seriously?" I ask. "You just came back less than a week ago and you already want to leave?" I say annoyed, crossing my arms.

"Does it matter?" He spurts back.

"Well I mean a little." I say. "Flora loves you and when you leave, I'm not gonna hear the last of it. She'll be really upset. And I was just starting to get to know you, I just think you should think about it a little bit." I say walking out of the room.

I'm not gonna lie, Miles is cute. Really cute, nevermind, Miles is fucking hot. I really don't want him to leave or else I'll lose my mind. I'm not sure if he finds me attractive but maybe tomorrow I'll try to convince him another way to stick around for a little longer..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi guys, sorry I was supposed to post this a few days ago but I've been super busy ! I hope you liked this chapter and I wanted to say tysm for the support ! It means a lot to me and I hope we continue to grow as this series goes on. Again tysm n bye 🩷🩷

[ladylamrian]

Hii 🥰

I saw this and thought it’ll inspire a fic or a moodboard for your MC’s or OC‘s

(No pressure 🥰)

🩷 Sweet & Tender Hearts 🩷

Female Main Character: Alex Clarissa Fontaine

Pairing: F!MC×NikRyder & F!OC×M!OC

Summary: Spring Season. Love is in the air.

Word Count: 2.2K words

Rating: General (Fluff)

Warnings: none

-> My complete Nightbound Masterlist <-

Taglist: @infactnoimmasitinthemiddle ; @peonierose ; @secretaryunpaid ; @jdstar88 ; @blackcatkita ; @lilyoffandoms ; @lawrencebarkley ; @mxdanni ; @mariemarieohcontrary ; @tessa-liam ; @choicesficwriterscreations ; @hopelessromantic1352 ; @rosepetals1

Author's note: This got expanded from a drabble requested by @hopelessromantic1352

Comments via Reblog wholeheartly welcome

Early morning at 6am. Alex was lying on the bed with her eyes closed. Soon enough she woke up, opened her chocolate-brown eyes and was facing Nik, who's been exercising in his new black sportswear next to their bed.

"...16, 17, 18, 19...", he counted his sit-ups.

Without letting Nik notice that she was awake, she smiled and silently watched him exercise.

"...23, 24, 25..."

When he raised his upper body from the floor at the 25th sit-up, he quickly pulled Alex from the bed towards him on the floor and turned around which made Alex lie under him and Nik hovering over her as he pinned her on the floor.

"Hey??!"

"What? You think I wouldn't notice you watchin me exercise, sleepy head? Now I gotcha, rook.", he smirked.

"Niiiiiik, come on. Yes, you caught me, now could you please stand up?"

"No, I finally got ya'. Got ya' where I want ya'.", he kept staring into her chocolate-brown eyes and moved his face closer to hers to reach her lips.

"Oh no, you don't!!", she giggled and started tickling him. But it didn't work as she expected and surprisingly looked at Nik who smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Nik, aren't you tickly?", she asked while continued making him laugh and back away.

Looking at her confused girlfriend, he backed away and chuckled.

"I'm not tickly, rook. Now come on, let's get ready."

"For what? It's 6am in the morning.", she asked and both stood up from the floor.

"Let's go for a morning walk and do some jogging outside."

"Nooo, I'm headin to bed. It's too early.", she complained, covered herself back in white blankets and closed her eyes. Watching her softly, he joined her and layed himself next to her on bed. A quick kiss planed on her forehead and rested beside her.

"Nik, can't you just rest for a while. You're always training and exercising."

"I have to be ready for anything. And besides, the reasons to get strong for a man are: Lift girlfriend, lift wife one day and protect other women.", his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer.

"Fiiine, alright. I'll join you then.", she agreed. Then she started tickling him again and tried harder this time, but Nik stayed calm.

"Try harder, rook", he grinned, but after a few seconds he couldn't hold it back anymore, gave up and finally laughed.

"Yesss, you're finally laughing!!!"

"Ah, hey... hahaha... stop now, rook. Hey, stop! Rookie, please!! Okay, yeah, you... you... you got meee!!!!"

Alex stopped tickling him and sat infront of him to get a better look at him. Smiling at him, she apologized.

"Sorry, I just wanted to tickle you see your smile. It's cute. I don't like it if you're playing the serious guy. When you smile, you make me smile too. And you're the reason I can't stop smiling. ", she said and smiled sweetly.

"That's why you were randomly tickling me, huh?!! You are the one that makes me smile already when you're happy, rook. If you wanna keep sleeping longer, you can. It's just... it would be much nicer when you would join me with work-out. You and me, rook. Since you started living with me, it's no fun anymore if I do my usual things alone without you."

"Guess you got more used to it by having me on your side, partner.", she winked and stood up from bed, when suddenly Nik pulled her back which made her sit on his lap.

"Now it's your turn to smile.", he answered and started tickling her. Alex was very tickly and couldn't stop laughing that much.

"Hahahaha... Niiiiiik, haha... Stop, please?!!", she begged.

"That's what I call sweet revenge. Make me stop now, rookie."

Alex really couldn't stop laughing hard which made Nik stop after a few seconds and waited till she calmed herself down.

"Oh Nik, oh my..."

"Alex, you alright? Calm down. Breathe slowly, okay."

"I... I... I'm fine. Don't worry.", she sweetly smiled.

"I didn't know you were tickly, rook. You still okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. With you, I'll always be fine."

Soon enough, both were ready for a morning jog outside. Nik still patiently waiting in his black sportswear in the livingroom for Alex to change. As she arrived, his eyes widen as he saw her in her tight sportwear, revealing a little skin, her curves, but especially the slim body shape. Her silvery hair was tied into a ponytail.

"Damn, rookie... You... You're hot.", he suddenly felt more attracted by her.

"Oh, thanks. I decided to wear my black sportswear to match with your's. Hey, how do you like my pink sports shoes?"

"Uhhh, they're... very pink."

"Wow, really? I didn't know, thanks", she rolled her eyes and smiled.

A light jog in the fresh air was exactly what the two needed to start their day. Both having a relaxing jog in the almost empty park. The lush park was teeming with vibrant flowers and plants that were both beautiful and fragrant which gave Alex a relaxed and peaceful feeling.

"Such a beautiful day. Hey Nik, don't run so fast. Let's have a relaxing jog."

"Sorry if you're too slow, rook."

"Hey, I'm not slow. I'm definitly faster than you. I challenge you for a race.", she stopped while arguing which made Nik stop too.

"You sure? I don't wanna beat you."

"I'm so sure about it. See that tree over there, let's see who reaches it first. By the count of three, we both start running.", Alex challenged the guy as she pointed at a lonely standing tree at the other side of the park.

Nik agreed and both got into their positions, making themselves ready for the race. They fairly wished eachother good luck and by the count of three, they began the race. Sprinting across the park. Nik was leading, but Alex wasn't far for him, slowly trying to gain the lead.

"Come on rook, faster!!"

"I... I... I'm almost", she pushed harder with all her might. After a few more steps, she finally managed to take the lead. When the couple finally neared the old tree at the end, it was indeed Alex who first reached it which surprised Nik.

"Damn, well done. You won.", he confessed and slowly fell on the grass for rest while Alex leaned against the tree. Both desperatly catching for air and trying to slow their breathing. When they were done, they slowly walked back, down the tiny hill where their little race first began.

"Hey, Nik... Could you show me some cool new moves? Let's train.", she stopped walking to seek his attention.

"Fine. How about this?", he stopped walking, stood behind her so that he felt her back leaning against his chest. With his arm around her waist, he moved his foot towards between her feet and shove them apart.

"Woah, Nik... And then?", she almost lost balance but then maintained it.

"And then I have you, so the next step is this...", he planted a kiss from behind and chuckled.

"Niiiiiik, not those moves of your's. Teach me your other moves. Some fighting and punching.", she moved away from him and mimicked to deliver a few punches while jumping up and down which made Nik laugh.

"How cute, my silly rook. Fine, let's go and find the perfect place for training.", he suggested and both strolled around until they found a wide, secluded area in the park with enough space for training.

But this secluded corner of the park was also the perfect place for a romantic moment between lovers, because they weren't alone. Not far away they spotted two familar figures sitting on a bench while gently stroking eachother's bodies. Their backs turned towards Nik and Alex. They definitly couldn't see them, but Nik and Alex could.

"Oh my, are that...??!!", she discovered with Nik. It looked like they were having a conversation and laughing.

"Well, whatever. Let's leave them alone and give them some space. We..."

"Nik, look!!!", Alex cupped his face and turned it towards the couple infront of them, so he would see what she's meaning. Their eyes widen as they discovered Luc who joined Vera on the bench suddenly stood up and got on one knee.

"Damn, is Luc... Is he gonna propose to Vera? Were they secretly dating the whole time and... Ouch!! Heeeey, what was that for?", he complained as Alex delievered a strong punch on his shoulders and glared at him.

"This was for the wedding proposal which I still haven't received from you. Learn something from Luc, he's so romantic and just proposed to Vera while I'm still waiting for you to propose to me. I bet Luc's already planning his future and family with Vera. But you, Nik..."

"Woaaah, slow down. Hold the horse, rook and take a closer look.", he answered and pointed back towards Luc and Vera.

On his knee, Luc wasn't holding a ring to propose to Vera Reimonenq. Instead he held a rose towards his blushing lover. It took the young Reimonenq a bit time until the blushing and overwhelmed feeling faded away. She finally dared to pull him closer for a passionate kiss as Luc stood up from his knee. Alex gasped, but Nik quickly managed to cover her mouth to not disturb the couple infront of them.

"Let's leave 'em alone, rook.", he wispered, but Alex didn't listened to him and quietly consumed the lovers infront her which made her happy.

Now Luc held the flower between his teeth, took Vera's gloved hand in his his and both twirled and danced in eachother's embrace without taking their eyes away from eachother.

"They're so perfect for eachother, Nik. I'll ship them from now on as Lu-era or Lu-ra. Just look at the lovely couple."

"There's no music. Why do they dance then?"

"Because they're in love, Nik. Love makes everything possible."

"Yeah, that's cute and all, but I don't know about Luc. He basically flirts with everyone. Hope he doesn't hurt Vera's feelings. She seemed a nice and innocent girl. And rook, you shouldn't mention that we saw them like this. I think they should tell us about their relationship when they feel ready."

"Ugggh, fiiiine. Nik, why are you always so right? You have no idea how much I want to congratulate them, but... Well... Okay, fiiiine. We'll keep it a secret.", she sighed and left together with Nik to give the newly discovered couple some more privacy.

Luc gracefully danced with Vera in his arms and at the end, holding her tight to dip her. With that, they finished their romantic dance and took back their places on the park bench. Luc gave Vera her rose, took her gloved hand to plant a kiss.

"You're so beautiful, ma chérie. Never have I ever seen such a beauty like you before, Vera chérie. Mon amour.", he confessed and kissed her hand again.

"Ooooh, Luc...", she shyly met his warm gaze and stroked his cheek.

"Je t'aime, Vera."

"Je t'aime aussi. I love you too, Luc. I was so shy and well... Thank you for everything. For trying to break the Reimonenq curse. And I'm glad we're together."

"I'll do anything for you, Vera. I never thought we'll become that close. I mean, I flirt with anyone handsome and beautiful, but you... Why should I flirt with anyone when I have you, Vera chérie?", he kissed her hand again.

"I don't like it when you flirt with others."

"And I won't do it. I'll surrender. I have you. I don't find anyone attractive anymore because of you. You're truely a blessing. A beauty, mon amour. You make me the happiest man in all realms. I love you."

"I never thought beeing in love would be so... so beautiful. Seeing first Alex happy with Nik, I secretly wished to find someone else too... My other half, but now I think I already have now."

"Really?", he grinned.

"Oui, Luc. You're my other half. My love. You're the reason I can't stop smiling. ", she giggled and pinched Luc's nose.

Both laughing, talking and enjoying eachother's company while Luc let Vera lean against him. Her head on his shoulder while his arms wrapped around her waist. After a few minutes of calm silence, Luc began to spoke.

"When will we meet again like this, ma chérie? I don't want to keep our relationship a secret anymore. Everytime we were around with friends, I had to control myself. So many times, I wanted to hug you, kiss you, but I can't. Not until you're ready to finally announce our relationship, Vera. When?"

"Oh Luc, don't you understand? What will everyone think when they found out that a Reimonenq and a witch are dating, when our families had conflicts which eachother for centuries?"

"I'll try to convince my mother somehow, I promise. No witch will have a problem with us, I promise. I'll keep you happy and safe. As long as we have eachother, nothing will seperate us.", he lightly brushed a kiss on her forehead.

"You're right. I'm not scared of my mother and her goons. Besides, my mom has nothing against the witches because she considers the Reimonenq touch as a gift. And if her goons ever try to scare you, don't worry. I'll always be with you. Nobody will try to harm you. Luc, let's finally announce our love.", she proudly spoke.

"Oui, c'est vrai. I love you, ma chérie."

[fluffyf0x]

INSECURITIES

Arataki Itto x Reader

TW: Slight mentions of Insecurities

Story notes: this contains insecure Itto, and nervous wreck reader. I'm like dead inside cause I'm not sure if I wrote it properly lol. (I'll just edit later on hehe)

Insecurities

*＊✿❀ Now Playing: Heat Waves by Glass Animals ❀✿＊*

You and Itto have been together for about a year. You knew you loved this man with all of your heart and soul. You knew you would do anything within your power for him. Glancing at the framed photo of you and Itto by your desk, you smiled.

You turned back to your laptop, trying to fix your bad posture. You fingers worked their way as you had to finish an essay before your next class starts.

Being a college student was never easy. You had to make sure you had good grades, all the while making sure that your projects are to be submitted on the deadline and that you performed well enough in your role being part of the student council. You had a shitty sleep schedule because of that.

You sighed, it was 6am in the morning, you've been awake for the past 24 hours, and you're running on coffee. You've barely had time to talk to Itto. You miss him very much.

You grinned anyways, you had a date after class since it was Friday. Your heart fluttered with joy, excited to see him again.

Classes ended and you were chatting with Ayato. He was the student council president, so you needed to report to him regarding your work in the student council. But as the the issue you raised to him ended and the misunderstandings we're cleared, the two of you started to casually chat. Laughing at each other's jokes and such.

"Oh I remember, you're dating that troublemaker Itto correct?" Ayato confirmed, fixing his jacket. His blue eyes were gentle looking at you. You nodded at his question. Sipping on your ice coffee.

"No wonder he's been behaving. You two are a cute couple. I hope for the best in your relationship" Ayato said sweetly. He then noticed something, or perhaps someone, then excused himself.

"I'm afraid my sister is looking for me, I will take my leave for now" Ayato said. You smiled.

"Bye!" You piped. Waving him goodbye. Not soon after, you arms wrap around your waist, snuggling into your shoulder. You turned to see Itto.

"Hi baby, how's class?" You asked. Itto mumbled into your shoulder, tickling you a bit. You giggled.

"Tiring" he groaned. You patted his head as he held your waist tighter.

'I love him so much'

The two of you sat on the bench. The air was chilly as the street lights lit up the night. It was already peaceful and quiet. Little to no people around as it was already late in the night. You took a deep breath and smiled. Enjoying Itto's presence and the peaceful environment.

Itto on the other hand, seemed to be down.

You turned and pat his head. Sending a curious glance to him.

"Is something wrong?" You asked him, your voice was a bit quiet but you were sure Itto heard you. He sniffed, as if he was crying.

"Do you still love me?" He asked. You stopped in your tracks.

What? Of course you love him! Why wouldn't you?

You tried to speak, saying that he was your everything and that nothing will stop you from loving him. You loved him so much.

But where did you go wrong in expressing that? What happened? Did you do something to make him think that way? Were you not expressing your love enough?

Your breath hitched as you tried stuttered. Unable to speak. The next thing you knew was that tears spilled from your eyes. Itto widened his eyes. Pain evident in his eyes. You started sobbing. You hit him in the shoulder.

"Why would you think that!" You questioned him. But it seemed more like a choked out sob as your words mushed together from crying. Tears seemed to fall from his eyes too.

You wrapped his arms around his neck and buried you face into his shoulder. Still crying.

He hugged you back as you tightened your hold on him.

"I love you so fucking much. Don't forget that" you mumbled. Itto merely nodded into your shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. But I love you so much. I really do." You inhaled his scent. Sweet hazelnut cologne.

"Please don't leave me"

"Never."

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Her Song part 23

The doctor came back an hour later. This time, there is someone else with him. A woman with brown hair and a white lab coat.

"Ms. Y/L/N," he starts, closing the door behind him and the other doctor. "We've come to discuss treatment options. This is Dr. Shepherd, a world-class neurosurgeon. I've asked her to discuss the surgical option with you. Is that alright?"

I nod, swallowing my nerves. By now it's ten pm, and Florence is asleep in the chair next to me and Syd is sound asleep in the hospital bed. I'm the only one who can't seem to fall asleep.

"Would you like your partner to be awake for this?" Dr. Shepherd asks quietly, pulling up a chair to sit across from me. I glance down at Florence and I's intertwined hands and debate correcting her assumption, but ultimately just shake my head.

"No, it's alright."

"Okay, Ms. Y/L/N-"

"Y/N. You can just call me Y/N."

"Okay. Y/N," she says with a small smile, "I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. This is gonna be tough. It's gonna be hell, but I'm gonna try my damnedest to get your daughter through this."

"Thank you. So," I breathe, subconsciously squeezing Flo's hand a little tighter. "What are the options?"

"First I need to explain the reason this kind of tumor is so hard to treat. The cancerous cells grow into the healthy ones, so it's impossible to remove them all with surgery."

"Does that mean surgery is off the table?"

"No, not necessarily. We could try to fight it with radiation and/or chemotherapy. But with Sydney's age...that poses some risks. In my professional opinion, I think our best move is surgery, followed by chemo. I'll perform surgery to remove as much of the tumor as possible, and then as soon as she's healed enough, we'll begin chemo treatments to get the rest of the cancerous cells."

I take a deep breath and swallow my hesitation. "Then that's what we'll do. I trust your judgment, Dr. Shepherd."

"Okay. I'll come back tomorrow with our head pediatric surgeon. Until then, try and get some rest." She gives me a small smile and stands up. The neurologist follows her out of the room and closes the door without saying a word.

I breathe deeply and fail to keep the tears from falling. I don't know what I'll do if I lose Syd.

~

I wake up to a bright light shining in my eyes. I groan, blinking to adjust to the sunlight piercing through the windows. I check my phone. 6am. The sun is just now rising. I'm not sure how long I slept, but it couldn't have been more than a couple of hours.

Sure enough, Flo and Syd are still sound asleep. I quietly stand up, but Florence stirs anyway. "Where are you going?" she asks groggily, rubbing her eyes.

"I was just gonna go to the bathroom," I say, pointing to the bathroom attached to the room.

"Oh. Ok. I'm gonna go get us some actual food. I can't stand this hospital crap," she grumbles, standing up.

"Okay," I laugh lightly. "Thank you, Flo."

"It's nothing. Will you be alright?"

"Yeah. I'll see you soon."

"See you soon," she promised with a wink before leaving the room.

FLORENCE'S POV:

I walk through the hospital with my head down, hoping for Syd and Y/N's sake that I don't get recognized.

As I walk down the busy streets of New York towards a small bakery, I decide I should probably call my manager and let him know why I fell off the face of the Earth.

It rings a few times before he picks up. "Hello?"

"Hey, George, it's Florence."

"Yes, I know, I have caller ID. Mind telling me why you canceled on Vogue? That photoshoot was a big deal, Florence. You can just walk away from something like that."

"I know it was a big deal but I had something personal I needed to do. Which brings me to my next point...I don't think I'll be available to work for a while."

He—understandably—sighs in frustration. "And why is that? I'm gonna need an actual explanation."

"My...friend's daughter is in the hospital. She has brain cancer. I need to be there for them."

He remains silent for a moment. "Is this the same friend you haven't stopped talking about?"

"George, it's complicated."

"I know. I know, and I understand that. Your life is yours and you can do with it what you want, but just be careful, Florence. We can't deal with the PR nightmare of you being spotted in a hospital getting cozy with a random woman."

"She's not a random woman," I snap defensively.

"You're right, I'm sorry. But you get my point. Just be careful. And you can't avoid work entirely. You may have to come in a few times."

I sigh, knowing that's as good as it will get. "Okay, fine. I have to go. Thank you, George."

We exchange our goodbyes and I head into the bakery to get some food.

When I get back to the hospital, I expect Y/N to be sitting in the hospital room. But she's not. When I reach Syd's room, she's pacing outside with her hands on her head, tears streaming down her face.

I rush over to her and put the bag and coffee on the ground. "Y/N, darling, what's wrong? What happened?" She stumbles over her words, panting heavy breaths. I notice the blinds and door to the room are closed.

I cup her face in my hands and force her to stop pacing. "Look at me. Y/N, look at me. What happened?"

"Syd- she's having a seizure. They're trying to stop it," she chokes out. My heart skips a beat and my stomach fills with dread. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I can't fix this. I can't do anything to help. So I just hold her in my arms and pray to any deity that might be out there to please, save this little girl.

Y/N'S POV:

Florence sways me back in forth in her arms and, surprisingly, it helps calm me down a little bit. I listen to her steady, fast heartbeat and small whispers of sweet words.

After a few more minutes that felt like an eternity and a half, the nurses leave the room. Dr. Shepherd comes out and approaches us with a somber expression. I turn to face her, but Flo still keeps a hand on the small of my back.

"It took longer than I'd like, but we gave her diazepam to stop the seizure. She's asleep for now, but she'll probably wake up in an hour or less. Let a nurse know when she's awake, and I will be back. Okay?"

I nod in understanding and Dr. Shepherd soothingly rubs my arm as she walks away. "Are you ready to go in?" Flo asks. I grab her hand and nod, walking into the room. Pulling a chair up to the side of the bed, I sit down and grab Syd's hand, sniffling. Florence is still standing beside the chair, holding my other hand, so I pull her down to sit on my lap.

I rest my head against her shoulder. Our hands are still joined, resting in Flo's lap. "I can't believe this is happening," I mumble.

"I know it's hard, but we can do this. She's a fighter. And we'll keep her safe, okay?"

The words ring familiar in my mind and I chuckle lightly. "She's our little Satanist."

[pettyrevenge-base]

Wake me with your alarm? Guess my day starts now, too.

I (28F) live with my boyfriend (29M) and one roommate (35M) in a house that I own. They both work at the same company, so their workday starts at 6AM. I WFH so I sleep/get up pretty much whenever I want. It's worth noting that I am a very light sleeper, and my boyfriend is a fairly heavy sleeper that I usually have to wake despite his alarm.

My boyfriend's alarm goes off at 5:30. He usually gets dressed and heads to work by 5:40, which is fine. In those 10 minutes I'll pack his lunch, make him coffee, and get him set up for the day. My roommate however, has a very loud, blaring alarm that goes off every 5 minutes between 5 and 5:30, when he finally rolls out of bed and gets ready. Even on weekends, he'll sometimes let his alarm go off until 6 until it finally shuts off on its own. It's very annoying.

I have no idea why he sets his alarm to be so damn loud that the whole house hears it, especially since he's also a light sleeper (supposedly) and has expressed before that me watching TV in my room at night keeps him up, even if I close the door. If the alarm was quieter I wouldn't care, but at that point he wakes my dogs, and he's even woken my boyfriend's daughter (3F) who stays with us on occasion. Needless to say, once that first alarm goes off at 5, I'm awake, and so is everyone else. I don't know if you've ever dealt with a toddler being unwillingly woken up at 5AM, but it's not pretty, especially since she usually wakes up between 9:30 and 10.

I've asked him a number of times if he could just turn down the alarm a little so he doesn't wake the whole house. He refuses to do so. Cue petty revenge.

My wake up routine usually involves taking a shower, then doing the dishes/cleaning, caring for the dogs, etc. If we have the baby, I'll make breakfast and put on a show for her to watch while she wakes up. Two of my three dogs are fairly large, so they make noise when I let them out of their crates and feed them. So, the past few days I've been dragging my ass out of bed at 5, and starting my routine. None of which I do quietly. I'm awake anyway, and it's my house, so I can do what I want.

The toddler will usually fall asleep again on the couch (even if I turn on the TV), so I put a show on for her at a normal volume. At 5. My dogs are energetic so I let them out of their crates to run around. At 5. Dishes? 5AM, baby. TikTok's in the living room? 5 again. Wake me up at 5, that's when my day will start.

I haven't gotten much out of my roommate except for dirty looks and the occasional "why are you awake?" to which I simply respond with, "because you woke me." He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, so he's started to complain that I'm being petty for no reason. I again suggested for him to turn down the alarm or at least lessen the frequency, but he's refused to do so. Guess we'll all just keep waking up at 5.

Except for my boyfriend, of course. He can sleep through virtually anything. Bless his heart. I should go wake him.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

[hopelessromantic1352]

Early morning at 6am. Alex was lying on the bed with her eyes closed. Soon enough she woke up, opened her chocolate-brown eyes and was facing Nik, who's been exercising in his new black sportswear next to their bed.

"...16, 17, 18, 19...", he counted his sit-ups.

Without letting Nik notice that she was awake, she smiled and silently watched him exercise.

"...23, 24, 25..."

When he raised his upper body from the floor at the 25th sit-up, he quickly pulled Alex from the bed towards him on the floor and turned around which made Alex lie under him and Nik hovering over her as he pinned her on the floor.

"Hey??!"

"What? You think I wouldn't notice you watchin me exercise, sleepy head? Now I gotcha, rook.", he smirked.

"Niiiiiik, come on. Yes, you caught me, now could you please stand up?"

"No, I finally got ya'. Got ya' where I want ya'.", he kept staring in her chocolate-brown eyes and moved his face closer to hers to reach of her lips.

"Oh no, you don't!!", she giggled and started tickling him. But it didn't worked as she expected and surprisingly looked at Nik who smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Nik, aren't you tickly?", she asked while continued making him laugh and back away.

Looking at her confused girlfriend, he backed away and chuckled.

"I'm not tickly, rook. Now come on, let's get ready."

"For what? It's 6am in the morning.", she asked and both stood up from the floor.

"Let's go for a morning walk and do some jogging outside."

"Nooo, I'm headin to bed. It's too early.", she complained, covered herself back in white blankets and closed her eyes. Watching her softly, he joined her and layed himself next to her on bed. A quick kiss planed on her forehead and rested beside her.

"Nik, can't you just rest for a while. You're always training and exercising."

"I have to be ready for anything.", his arms wrapped her waist and pulled her closer.

"Fiiine, alright. I know, I know, for the safety of our world. I'll join you then.", she agreed. Then she started tickling him again and tried harder this time, but Nik stayed calm.

"Try harder, rook", he grinned, but after a few seconds he couldn't hold it back anymore, gave up and finally laughed.

"Yesss, you're finally laughing!!!"

"Ah, hey... hahaha... stop now, rook. Hey, stop! Rookie, please!! Okay, yeah, you... you... you got meee!!!!"

Alex stopped tickling him and sat infront of him to get a better look at him. Smiling at him, she apologized.

"Sorry, I just wanted to tickle you see your smile. It's cute. I don't like it if you're playing the serious guy. When you smile, you make me smile too.", she said and smiled sweetly.

"That's why you were randomly tickling me, huh?!! You are the one that makes me smile already when you're happy, rook. If you wanna keep sleeping longer, you can. It's just... it would be much nicer when you would join me with work-out. You and me, rook. Since you started living with me, it's no fun anymore if I do my usual things alone without you."

"Guess you got more used to it by having me on your side, partner.", she winked and stood up from bed, when suddenly Nik pulled her back which made her sit on his lap.

"Now it's your turn to smile.", he answered and started tickling her. Alex was very tickly and couldn't stop laughing that much.

"Hahahaha... Niiiiiik, haha... Stop, please?!!", she begged.

"That's what I call sweet revenge. Make me stop now, rookie."

Alex really couldn't stop laughing hard which made Nik stop after a few seconds and waited till she calmed herself down.

"Oh Nik, oh god..."

"Alex, you alright? Calm down. Breathe slowly, okay."

"I... I... I'm fine. Don't worry.", she sweetly smiled.

"I didn't know you were tickly, rook. You still okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. With you, I'll always be fine."

This is so cute!!!! 😍😍😍

[sparklyeevee]

My insights so far from living with five other people none of whom I'm related to, which is sort of like Being Part of a Community, specifically wrt the endless Stuff That Needs To Get Done, and how to decide what is and isn't your problem, without any chore schedules or other formal or informal accountability tools beyond "people will be stressed and irritable if this doesn't get done".

Is the need to do the thing a direct result of my actions? Probably my problem unless something else was worked out. (I make sure the cat I brought into the household gets fed and all that, but one of my housemates is really invested in If You Cooked Someone Else Should Do the Dishes so he usually washes the pots after I cook).

Will the thing get done if I don't do it? (No one else really sews, so for the couch blankets, or the dog toys, to be repaired rather than replaced requires that I undertake to repair them).

Will it make someone else's life substantially easier or more pleasant if I take care of this? (One housemate gets Stressed if the kitchen is messy when she gets up to make coffee, so I usually take a quick pass at the kitchen - empty dishwasher, load dishwasher, throw out obvious trash, maybe wipe the counters, about 30 minutes before she usually gets up. Note: if we didn't have a dishwasher, I would not do this because I can't Stand for that long and dishes are a sensory nightmare for me, and this is not about hurting yourself for others' convenience. I'm also the last line of defense against my housemates having to get up Early on a weekend to take the bins to the curb.)

Is the thing gonna be substantially easier for me to do than for anyone else? (Part of why I picked up the kitchen routine is that I'm in there anyway because I make lunch for another housemate - this is four easy minutes for me because I'm nocturnal, so at 6am I am (still) fully awake and not trying to get through my own morning routine, whereas for my housemate it would be like 10 minutes several of which include staring at the pantry trying to remember how to make a peanut butter sandwich, and which they could instead spend sleeping or just taking their morning a little easier).

Did someone else agree to handle this and then forget? (This is another one that's kinda related to my partner and I being the night shift around here. If one housemate asked another to put away the leftovers and the other agreed but went to bed without doing it, I can just... handle it, and the the leftovers are put away and we avoid some needless interpersonal friction.)

Did *I* agree to handle it? This one is obvious.

Does it sound fun? (Idk I like dusting).

There's still absolutely stuff that gets missed, even with 5 adults and one almost adult doing their best, but it seems like if everyone does the stuff that meets one or more of these criteria for them, most shit gets handled and there's a minimum amount of Upset about it.

[cheerstotheelites-if]

so you don't lay on your bed awake and stare at your ceiling thinking about your existence after the 6am alarm? Do you legit get up and start your day? Also, sorry I feel bad cause this is so not part of the ask list but I genuinely never met anyone that woke up after one 6am alarm before and I'm in awe. If it makes you feel better, some of my alarms are my neighbours yelling at 2.27am. A wonderful time to feel alive if I do say so myself (pls kill me)

No you're fine, don't worry! I have fun answering Q's of all types (ones that aren't deeply personal, of course) Also dear lawd why are your neighbors yelling at 2 am. You poor soul, may your neighbors finally shut up so you can sleep properly. 😭😭😭

But yes, I do just get up after the alarm. I use the one hour to wake myself up fully and prep and eat breakfast, since my first class starts at 7 am exactly. I can't really waste time or just lay down on bed for a bit if I want to since I have to get up 15 mins before 7, and my laptop is as old as Covid and takes a lil while to start up.

Edit: When I mean "get up 15 mins before 7" I mean go upstairs since my room is there 😭

[aptericia]

***Personal rant, not anything cool***

Making a vent post because I'm still awake at 6am and am very sleep-deprived >:( Also I'm guessing a lot of other people have had similar experiences and that makes me feel better.

So today I was chatting with a close friend who was excited for public schools' break next week. They asked if I had any sort of break (I'm homeschooled) and when I answered no, they said something along the lines of "well, your school is basically like a break anyway, since your workload isn't very high :)" They didn't say it in a resentful way, and I think it's likely that their workload is higher at the moment (I very much Do Not like talking about my personal problems and schoolwork most of the time, so we haven't really compared), but I felt a bit defensive at the comment, so I spent some time thinking about why.

I realized that other comments that have made me feel that way weren't about my homeschooling, but about my decision to pursue an art career. A parent has said "I don't mind if you want to be an artist, but I think you're so smart that you could be doing science or anything else you want to." A sibling has said to my face that they could never be satisfied going into art/entertainment even though they enjoy it, because they want a job that does good for the world. The advisor at the community college where I take classes made jokes to me about how if my sister got a good job, she could financially support me when I become a starving artist. I feel like I'm constantly being reminded that I'll grow up to be a lazy, unaccomplished burden--and that it's because of my choice to take such an easy, meaningless job.

Sometimes my lifestyle feels like that as well. As a homeschooled student, I have a lot of flexibility. I get to choose when I wake up in the morning, what classes I take, etc. Although I have problems with sleep and mental health, I constantly see worse talked about on the internet, or by my friends. I'm also extremely privileged--in addition to being homeschooled, I'm able-bodied, cisgender, White-passing, and a native citizen. I'm financially secure and have a supportive home life. My atheism and aromanticism, while not the "default" by society's standards, can be swept under the rug more easily than some identities. I feel like have the environment to take on a lot of work and accomplish a lot, so if I'm not doing that, it must be because I'm lazy.

In my worst moods, I feel almost betrayed. I want to say to my parents and teachers, "if art is such a shameful career, why did you encourage me? Why did you make me think it was okay?" or "why didn't you make me work harder and do things I hate doing? Now I'm not used to effort and hardship." I start to wish I didn't have so many privileges, or that I was abused, so that I would have a reason for slacking off so much (yes, I know that's messed up and unfair to people who have had to deal with those things).

On a purely personal level, I usually feel that I have balanced my work and rest reasonably well. I get good grades, I know basic things like how to buy stuff and cook and look up what I don't know, and I take breaks for my mental health. However, other people's expectations still affect me (and even if that weren't true, I wouldn't feel comfortable trusting only my own judgement). Although I'm meeting the requirements I feel like I need to, I'm still scared that I'll be completely unprepared for adulthood due to being "spoiled" so much as a kid. I still feel guilty that I appear to be doing so much less work than my peers. And I still feel like a failure for not doing more to "help the world".

Anywayyyy rant over, but I'm genuinely curious to hear what other people think. I'm sure other artists, privileged minors, etc have similar feelings, so how have you dealt with them? Do I sound completely nutty and make no sense? XD

[theantarwitch]

Hello! I came across your blog and saw that you had listen Baltic/Slavic practices as a semi closed / open by blood/lineage. Recently I have been looking into my ancestry and by asking my family, looking at family trees, etc, and I have found that I have some latvian ancestry (one of my great grandparents immigrated) Along with German and some other things (Im very white lmao). I was wondering if that would make it okay for me to practice some aspects from it? I grew up disconnected from the culture and I don't want to "reclaim" something that isn't mine to reclaim. Also if you have any resources about the culture, why its semi-closed, etc. It would be greatly appreciated!! Sorry if this is kind of long, I don't really like bothering people with asks but I swear it's so difficult to find information on this kind of stuff!!

Hello there!

A great grandparent is a good chunk of blood lol More if you add the German part.

I (personally) think you are fine, you are very close to these roots to be able to reconect with them withou feel like a colonizer.

Usually the cultures closed(or semi) by blood is mostly based to the idea than many of these cultures have been historically hunted by other biggers cultures/religions, to the point that their practices were tagged as witchcraft/heresy. By blood usually means "You need to belong to us, you need to have our culture and histories in your blood".

The culture of the baltic states has been destroyed over and over generation after generation because they keep getting eaten by bigger and bigger fish (Persia, the Ottomans, the Nazis, the Soviets) so what we can get now from internet have nothing to do with their roots. Wiki says "The Balts originally practiced Baltic religion. They were gradually Christianized as a result of the Northern Crusades of the Middle Ages. Baltic peoples such as the Latvians, Lithuanians and Old Prussians had their distinct mythologies. The Lithuanians have close historic ties to Poland, and many of them are Roman Catholic. The Latvians have close historic ties to Northern Germany and Scandinavia, and many of them are irreligious."

Also sadly (or not), this closed cultures tend to keep their practices in secret to be teached between members of their communities (the mouth to mouh), so there will be a huge amount of info that you will not be able to get unless a Baltic member tell you.

For example, oomancy (egg reading) tend to be open and closed at the same time because is a practice that evolve globally, but also have their particularities between the different cultures (including the Baltic oomancy).

I have a not a lot of info sadly, sorry, but I guess, as everything, the best is start easy and general, like wikipedia, and keep searching more in depth. For what I know, neopagans in the Baltics developed the Romuva (derived from the traditional mythology of the Lithuanians, attempting to reconstruct the religious rituals of the Lithuanians before their Christianization in 1387), maybe you can check that?

I welcome anyone else if they can bring more info!

I hope I was somehow helpful, sorry for my english, I'm awake since 6am and is currently midnight hahaha * cry tears of blood *

[idlycandid]

april 12th, 2022 pt. 2

i had walked into their house plenty of times before, it was modest, tidy, warm, and inviting. my uncle led me to their back bedroom they set up for him and curled up on the bed, under the brand new cozy throw blanket i bought for him, my dad laid on his side, like a little kid, watching an old Western television show from the 1950s, "Cheyenne". my best friend and i sat in the back bedroom with him on folding chairs, as he tried to tell us about the show we were watching. my uncle shared with us that he loved watching this particular show as a kid. during a commercial break, my aunt mentions to me in a hushed tone, "I had other bedding on the bed, but he kicked all the other blankets off--he only wants the blanket you bought for him." in the moment, this sentiment makes me cry (and even now), because somewhere in the swell of my ribcage, i know that the version of my dad i'm seeing on this afternoon is a helpless, tired, scared child and the adult in me, his youngest daughter, managed to unknowingly provide a sense of comfort, of safety. a feeling he rarely felt throughout his life, if ever. i walk back into the room and see him snuggle a little further down under the blanket. he looks up at me and asks if he can stay. i don't fully understand him the first time he says it, and as he struggles through the words a second time, i'm confused as to why he's asking and respond with, "of course you can stay, that's why you're here. you can stay for as long as you'd like." he nods his head... it's only moments after this exchange i realize he's asking because he's afraid of being forced to go to the hospital; my aunt makes meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and canned green beans (soft, easy-to-eat foods) for dinner. my best friend and i eat off paper plates on the folded chairs in the back bedroom while we try to follow the plot of "Cheyenne" each taking a chance to keep an eye on and talk with my dad as normally as possible in between bites. eventually, the hospice intake worker arrives... i let my dad know that we'll be right back & reassure him he isn't going anywhere, then join my aunt, uncle, cousin, best friend, and hospice intake worker around their dining room table to fill out paperwork. she has to ask my dad a few questions, one of which is the date.. he confidently answers that he knows exactly what the day is, and exclaims a day in February of 2020 (the date is April 12th, 2022). she asks who the President of the United States is and he says, "Trump" (it's Joe Biden). this shows that he does not have full awareness of reality and therefore, i'm able to make decisions on his behalf. we finish the paperwork around 7pm. the hospice intake worker assures me that she will get all of his paperwork submitted before the end of the night so he will be covered for in-home care. we say our goodbyes, i thank her for her time, i go back into the bedroom and say goodbye to my dad, that i love him & that i'll be going back home the day after tomorrow. i hug my aunt, my uncle and my cousin (their youngest daughter) for everything they're doing, express all of my love & gratitude, and let them know my plans to travel back home; after all, he's set up now and i've been away from home for a month and a half. when we finally arrive back at my best friend's house, i fall asleep quickly in their guest room... faster than i have in weeks. so when i awake the next morning to what i believe is my alarm at 6am, i'm jarred awake. my phone is ringing & it's a call from my aunt. i answer immediately... "honey, he didn't wait for one of us to come to help him stand up this morning. he stood up and immediately hit the floor. he's gone. we're calling to have someone come get him, can you get here?" i left within 30 minutes... his body was taken just before i arrived. i apologized to my uncle what he's just experienced,his response was, "the upside is, tumor rupture was immediate, he went quickly, so he didn't feel a thing." the easiest experience in my dad's seventy-three years of life was at the moment of his death.