#don’t think about how paul is playing a guitar just like john’s

[javelinbk]

Paul McCartney singing ‘Twenty Flight Rock’. The day Paul met John, The Beatles Anthology (1995) - part three (part one, part two)

[tavolgisvist]

Once upon a time…

JOHN: [Paul] even recorded that all by himself in the other room, that’s how it was getting in those days. We came in and he’d – he’d made the whole record. Him drumming, him playing the piano, him singing. Just because – it was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that, but he couldn’t – couldn’t – maybe he couldn’t make the break from The Beatles, I don’t know what it was…. But we’re all, I’m sure – I can’t speak for George, but I was always hurt when he’d knock something off without… involving us, you know? But that’s just the way it was then.

(August, 1980: interview for Playboy with David Sheff)

‘More than anything,’ he says, ‘I would love the Beatles to be on top of their form and for them to be as productive as they were. But things have changed. … I would have liked to have sung harmony with John, and I think he would have liked me to. But I was too embarrassed to ask him. And I don’t work to the best of my abilities in that situation.’

(Paul McCartney, interview, Evening Standard, April 21-22, 1970)

PAUL: On 'Hey Jude', when we first sat down and I sang 'Hey Jude…', George went 'nanu nanu' on his guitar. I continued, 'Don't make it bad…' and he replied 'nanu nanu'. He was answering every line - and I said, 'Whoa! Wait a minute now. I don't think we want that. Maybe you'd come in with answering lines later. For now I think I should start it simply first.' He was going, 'Oh yeah, OK, fine, fine.' But it was getting a bit like that. He wasn't into what I was saying. In a group it's democratic and he didn't have to listen to me, so I think he got pissed off with me coming on with ideas all the time. I think to his mind it was probably me trying to dominate. It wasn't what I was trying to do - but that was how it seemed. This, for me, was eventually what was going to break The Beatles up. I started to feel it wasn't a good idea to have ideas, whereas in the past I'd always done that in total innocence, even though I was maybe riding roughshod.

I did want to insist that there shouldn't be an answering guitar phrase in 'Hey Jude' - and that was important to me - but of course if you tell a guitarist that, and he's not as keen on the idea as you are, it looks as if you're knocking him out of the picture. I think George felt that: it was like, 'Since when are you going to tell me what to play? I' in The Beatles too.' So I can see his point of view. But it burned me, and I then couldn't come up with ideas freely, so I started to have to think twice about anything I'd say - 'Wait a minute, is this going to be seen to be pushy?' - whereas in the past it had just been a case of, 'Well, the hell, this would be a good idea. Let's do this song called "Yesterday". It'll be all right.'

( The Beatles Anthology, 2000)

‘There’s no one who’s to blame. We were fools to get ourselves into this situation in the first place. But it’s not a comfortable situation for me to work in as an artist.’

(Paul McCartney, interview, Evening Standard, April 21-22, 1970)

‘It simply became very difficult for me to write with Yoko sitting there. If I had to think of a line I started getting very nervous. I might want to say something like “I love you, girl”, but with Yoko watching I always felt that I had to come out with something clever and avant-garde. She would probably have loved the simple stuff, but I was scared.’ ‘I’m not blaming her, I’m blaming me. You can’t blame John for falling in love with Yoko any more than you can blame me for falling in love with Linda. We tried writing together a few more times, but I think we both decided it would be easier to work separately.’

(Paul McCartney, interview, Evening Standard, April 21-22, 1970)

JOHN: "I was always waiting for a reason to get out of the Beatles from the day I filmed 'How I Won The War' (in 1966). I just didn't have the guts to do it. The seed was planted when the Beatles stopped touring and I couldn't deal with not being onstage. But I was too frightened to step out of the palace."

(John Lennon, Newsweek, September 29, 1980)

PAUL: As far as I was concerned, yeah, I would have liked the Beatles never to have broken up. I wanted to get us back on the road doing small places, then move up to our previous form and then go and play. Just make music, and whatever else there was would be secondary. But it was John who didn’t want to. He had told Allen Klein the new manager he and Yoko had picked late one night that he didn’t want to continue.

(Paul and Linda McCartney, interview for Playboy, December 1984)

PAUL: I must admit we'd known it was coming at some point because of his intense involvement with Yoko. John needed to give space to his and Yoke's thing. Someone like John would want to end The Beatles period and start the Yoko period; and he wouldn't like either to interfere with the other.

(The Beatles Anthology, 2000)

PAUL: I think, largely looking back on it, I think it was mainly John [who] needed a new direction – that he then went into, headlong, helter skelter, you know, he went right in there, doing all sorts of stuff he’d never done before, with Yoko. And you can’t blame him. Because he was that kind of guy, [the kind who] really wanted to live life and do stuff, you know. There was just no holding back with John. And it was what we’d all admired him for. So you couldn’t really say, “Oh, we don’t want you to do that, John. You should just stay with us.” We felt so wimpy, you know. So it had to happen like that.

(Paul McCartney, November, 1983, interview with DJ Roger Scott)

The Beatles split up? It just depends how much we all want to record together. I don’t know if I want to record together again. I go off and on it. I really do. The problem is that in the old days, when we needed an album, Paul and I got together and produced enough songs for it. Nowadays there’s three if us writing prolifically and trying to fit it all onto one album. Or we have to think of a double album every time, which takes six months. That’s the hang-up we have… I don’t want to spend six months making an album I have two tracks on. And neither do Paul or George probably. That’s the problem. If we can overcome that, maybe it’ll sort itself out. None of us want to be background musicians most of the time. It’s a waste. We didn’t spend ten years ‘making it’ to have the freedom in the recording studios, to be able to have two tracks on an album. This is why I’ve started with the Plastic Ono and working with Yoko… to have more outlet. There isn’t enough outlet for me in the Beatles. The Ono Band is my escape valve. And how important that gets, as compared to the Beatles for me, I’ll have to wait and see.

(John Lennon, New Musical Express December 13, 1969)

PLAYBOY: In most of his interviews, John said he never missed the Beatles. Did you believe him? PAUL: I don’t know. My theory is that he didn’t. Someone like John would want to end the Beatle period and start the Yoko period. And he wouldn’t like either to interfere with the other. As he was with Yoko, anything about the Beatles tended inevitably to be an intrusion. So I think he was interested enough in his new life to genuinely not miss us.

(Paul and Linda McCartney, interview for Playboy, December 1984)

Yoko: Paul began complaining that I was sitting too close to them when they were recording, and that I should be in the background. John: Paul was always gently coming up to Yoko and saying: "Why don't you keep in the background a bit more?" I didn't know what was going on. It was going on behind my back. Yoko: And I wasn't uttering a word. It wasn't a matter of my being aggressive. It was just the fact that I was sitting near to John. And we stood up to it. We just said, "No. It's simply that we just have to come together." They were trying to discourage me from attending meetings, et cetera. And I was always there. And Linda actually said that she admired that we were doing that. John: Paul even said that to me.

(John Lennon interviewed by Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld at the St. Regis Hotel, September 5, 1971)

Paul: They’re onto that thing. They just want to be near to each other. So I just think it’s just silly of me, or of anyone, to try and say to him, “No, you can’t,” you know. It’s like, ‘cause – okay, they’re – they’re going overboard about it, but John always does! And Yoko probably always does. So that’s their scene. You can’t go saying – you know, “Don’t go overboard about this thing. Be sensible about it. Don’t bring it to meetings.” It’s his decision, that. It’s – it’s none of our business, to start interfering in that. Even when it comes into our business, you still can’t really say much, unless – except, “Look, I don’t like it, John.” And then he can say, well, “Screw you,” or, “I like it,” or, “Well, I won’t do it so much,” or blablabla. Like, that’s the only way, you know. To tell John about that. Michael Lindsay-Hogg: Have you done that already? Paul: Well, I told him I didn’t like writing songs… with him and Yoko. Michael Lindsay-Hogg: Were you writing much more before she came around—? Paul: Oh yeah, sure. Michael Lindsay-Hogg: Or had you – cooled it a bit, then? Before her. Ringo: Before Yoko got there. Paul: Yeah, cooled it, cooled it. Sure. We’d cooled it because… not playing together. Ever since we didn’t play together… Michael Lindsay-Hogg: Onstage, you mean? Paul: Yes. With the band. Because we lived together, and we played together. We were in the same hotel, up at the same time every morning, doing this all day. And this – I mean, this, you know, it doesn’t matter what you do, [but] just as long as you’re this close all day, something grows, you know. In some ways. And when you’re not this close, only, just physically… something goes. Michael Lindsay-Hogg: Right. Paul: So then you can come together to record, and stuff, but you still sort of lose the… Actually, musically, you know, we really – we can play better than we’ve ever been able to play, you know. Like, I really think that. I think, like – we’re – we’re alright on that. It’s just that – being together thing, you know.

(Paul McCartney, Get Back sessions, 13 January, 1969)

What actually happened was, the group was getting very tense, it was looking like we were breaking up. One day, I came in and we had a meeting, and it was all Apple and business and Allen Klein, and it was getting very hairy, and no one was realy enjoying themselves. It was – we’d forgotten the music bit. It was just business. I came in one day and I said, “I think we should get back on the road, a bit like what you and I were talking about before, small band, go and do the clubs, sod it. Let’s get back to square one, let’s remember what we’re all about. Let’s get back.” And John’s actual words were, “I think you’re daft. And I wasn’t gonna tell you, but – we’re breaking the group up. I’m breaking the group up. It feels good. It feels like a divorce.” And he just sort of sat there, and all our jaws dropped.

(Paul McCartney, November, 1983, interview with DJ Roger Scott)

Wenner: You said you quit the Beatles first. John: Yes. Wenner: How? John: I said to Paul “I’m leaving.” John: I knew on the flight over to Toronto or before we went to Toronto: I told Allen I was leaving, I told Eric Clapton and Klaus that I was leaving then, but that I would probably like to use them as a group. I hadn’t decided how to do it – to have a permanent new group or what – then later on, I thought fuck, I’m not going to get stuck with another set of people, whoever they are. I announced it to myself and the people around me on the way to Toronto a few days before. And on the plane – Klein came with me – I told Allen, “It’s over.” When I got back, there were a few meetings, and Allen said well, cool it, cool it, there was a lot to do, businesswise you know, and it would not have been suitable at the time. Then we were discussing something in the office with Paul, and Paul said something or other about the Beatles doing something, and I kept saying “No, no, no” to everything he said. So it came to a point where I had to say something, of course, and Paul said, “What do you mean?” I said, “I mean the group is over, I’m leaving.” … So that’s what happened. So, like anybody when you say divorce, their face goes all sorts of colors. It’s like he knew really that this was the final thing…

(John Lennon, December 1970, interview with Jann Wenner for Rolling Stone)

PAUL: But what wasn't too clever was this idea of: 'I wasn't going to tell you till after we signed the new contract.' Good old John – he had to blurt it out. And that was it. There's not a lot you can say to, 'I'm leaving the group,' from a key member. I didn't really know what to say. We had to react to him doing it; he had control of the situation.

(The Beatles Anthology, 2000)

Allen was there, and he will remember exactly and Yoko will, but this is exactly how I see it. Allen was saying don’t tell. He didn’t want me to tell Paul even. So I said, “It’s out,” I couldn’t stop it, it came out. Paul and Allen both said that they were glad that I wasn’t going to announce it, that I wasn’t going to make an event out of it. I don’t know whether Paul said “Don’t tell anybody,” but he was darned pleased that I wasn’t going to. He said, “Oh, that means nothing really happened if you’re not going to say anything.”

(John Lennon, December 1970, interview with Jann Wenner for Rolling Stone)

And – that was it, really. And nobody quite knew what to say, and we sort of then, after that statement, we then thought, “Well… give it a couple of months. We may decide. I mean, it’s a little bit of a big act, to just break up like that. Let’s give it a couple of months. We might all just come back together.” And we talked for a couple of months, but it just was never going to be on.

(Paul McCartney, November, 1983, interview with DJ Roger Scott)

Postcard from John and Yoko to Paul from Danmark January 1970

John: George was on the session for Instant Karma, Ringo’s away and Paul’s – I dunno what he’s doing at the moment, I haven’t a clue. Interviewer: When did you last see him? John: Uh, before Toronto. I’ll see him this week actually, yeah. If you’re listening, I’m coming round.

(John Lennon interview 6th February, 1970)

Interviewer: What about the Beatles all together as a group? John: …You can’t pin me down because I haven’t got- there’s no- it’s completely open, whether we do it or not. Life is like that, whether I make another Plastic Ono album or Lennon album or anything is open you know, I don’t like to prejudge it. And I have no idea if the Beatles are working together again or not, I never did have, it was always open. If someone didn’t feel like it, that’s it. And maybe if one of us starts it off, the others will all come round and make an album you know.

(John Lennon interview 6th February, 1970)

Interviewer: Why do you think he [Paul] has lost interest in Apple? John: That’s what I want to ask him! We had a heavy scene last year as far as business was concerned and Paul got a bit fed-up with all the effort of business. I think that’s all it is. I hope so.

(John Lennon interviewed by Roy Shipston for Disc and Music Echo, February 28, 1970)

‘Anyway, I hung on for all these months wondering whether the Beatles would ever come back together again…and let’s face it I’ve been as vague as anyone, hoping that John might come around and say, “All right lads, I’m ready to go back to work…”

(Paul McCartney, interview, Evening Standard, April 21-22, 1970)

PAUL: For about three or four months, George, Ringo and I rang each other to ask: 'Well, is this it then?' It wasn't that the record company had dumped us. It was still a case of: we might get back together again. Nobody quite knew if it was just one of John's little flings, and that maybe he was going to feel the pinch in a week's time and say, 'I was only kidding.' I think John did kind of leave the door open. He'd said: 'I'm pretty much leaving the group, but…' So we held on to that thread for a few months, and then eventually we realised, 'Oh well, we're not in the band any more. That's it. It's definitely over.'

(The Beatles Anthology, 2000)

PAUL: I started thinking, 'Well, if that's the case, I had better get myself together. I can't just let John control the situation and dump us as if we're the jilted girlfriends.'

(The Beatles Anthology, 2000)

‘John’s in love with Yoko, and he’s no longer in love with the other three of us. And let’s face it, we were in love with the Beatles as much as anyone. We’re still like brothers and we have enormous emotional ties because we were the only four that it all happened to…who went right through those ten years. I think the other three are the most honest, sincere men I have ever met. I love them. I really do.’ ‘I don’t mind being bound to them as a friend. I like that idea. I don’t mind being bound to them musically, because I like the others as musical partners. I like being in their band. But for my own sanity, we must change the business arrangements we have…’

(Paul McCartney, interview, Evening Standard, April 21-22, 1970)

‘Last year John said he wanted a divorce. All right, so do I. I want to give him that divorce. I hate this trial separation because it’s just not working. Personally, I don’t think John could do the Beatles thing now. I don’t think it would be good for him.’

(Paul McCartney, interview, Evening Standard, April 21-22, 1970)

‘I told John on the phone the other day that at the beginning of last year I was annoyed with him. I was jealous because of Yoko, and afraid about the break-up of a great musical partnership. It’s taken me a year to realise that they were in love. Just like Linda and me.’

(Paul McCartney, interview, Evening Standard, April 21-22, 1970)

John: Well, Paul rang me up. He didn't actually tell me he'd split, he said he was putting out an album [McCartney]. He said, "I'm now doing what you and Yoko were doing last year. I understand what you were doing." All that shit. So I said, "Good luck to yer."

(John Lennon interviewed by Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld at the St. Regis Hotel, September 5, 1971)

I think he claims that he didn’t mean that to happen but that’s bullshit. He called me in the afternoon of that day and said, “I’m doing what you and Yoko were doing last year.” I said good, you know, because that time last year they were all looking at Yoko and me as if we were strange trying to make our life together instead of being fab, fat myths. So he rang me up that day and said I’m doing what you and Yoko are doing, I’m putting out an album, and I’m leaving the group too, he said. I said good. I was feeling a little strange, because he was saying it this time, although it was a year later, and I said “good,” because he was the one that wanted the Beatles most, and then the midnight papers came out.

(John Lennon, December 1970, interview with Jann Wenner for Rolling Stone)

Q: "Why did you decide to make a solo album?" PAUL: "Because I got a Studer four-track recording machine at home - practiced on it (playing all instruments) - liked the results, and decided to make it into an album." Q: "Were you influenced by John's adventures with the Plastic Ono Band, and Ringo's solo LP?" PAUL: "Sort of, but not really." Q: "Are all songs by Paul McCartney alone?" PAUL: "Yes sir." Q: "Will they be so credited: McCartney?" PAUL: "It's a bit daft for them to be Lennon/McCartney credited, so 'McCartney' it is." Q: "Did you enjoy working as a solo?" PAUL: "Very much. I only had me to ask for a decision, and I agreed with me. Remember Linda's on it too, so it's really a double act." … Q: "What has recording alone taught you?" PAUL: "That to make your own decisions about what you do is easy, and playing with yourself is very difficult, but satisfying." … Q: "Is this album a rest away from the Beatles or the start of a solo career?" PAUL: "Time will tell. Being a solo album means it's 'the start of a solo career…' and not being done with the Beatles means it's just a rest. So it's both." Q: "Is your break with the Beatles temporary or permanent, due to personal differences or musical ones?" PAUL: "Personal differences, business differences, musical differences, but most of all because I have a better time with my family. Temporary or permanent? I don't really know." Q: "Do you foresee a time when Lennon-McCartney becomes an active songwriting partnership again?" PAUL: "No." Q: "What do you feel about John's peace effort? The Plastic Ono Band? Giving back the MBE? Yoko's influence? Yoko?" PAUL: "I love John, and respect what he does - it doesn't really give me any pleasure." … Q: "What are your plans now? A holiday? A musical? A movie? Retirement?" PAUL: "My only plan is to grow up!"

(Paul McCartney, April 9th 1970, press release 'McCartney')

SCOTT: Did you not realize that this was going to happen to you after you’d been the one to actually do it, and say, “Right, that’s it”? PAUL: No – it’s – wrong. Wrong. Sorry. It wasn’t me, it was John. SCOTT: Well, he said it first, but he said it quietly, he didn’t let everybody know. PAUL: No no no no, but the point – what I’m talking about is, see, this is – see, I love this legend stuff, god, you know, you have to actually live with this stuff…

(Paul McCartney, November, 1983, interview with DJ Roger Scott)

Int: I asked Lee Eastman for his view of the split, and what it was that prompted Paul to file suit to dissolve the Beatles' partnership, and he said it was because John asked for a divorce. John Lennon: Because I asked for a divorce? That's a childish reason for going into court, isn't it?

(John Lennon interviewed by Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld at the St. Regis Hotel, September 5, 1971)

"And I've changed. The funny thing about it is that I think alot of my change has been helped by John Lennon. I sort of picked up on his lead. John had said, 'Look, I don't want to be that anymore. I'm going to be this.' And I thought, 'That's great.' I liked the fact he'd done it, and so I'll do it with my thing. He's given the okay. In England, if a partnership isn't rolling along and working -- like a marriage that isn't working-- then you have reasonable grounds to break it off. It's great! Good old British justice!

(Paul McCartney, Life Magazine, April 16, 1971)

‘… So, as a natural turn of events from looking for something to do, I found that I was enjoying working alone as much as I’d enjoyed the early days of the Beatles. I haven’t really enjoyed the Beatles in the last two years.’

(Paul McCartney, interview, Evening Standard, April 21-22, 1970)

'Eventually,' McCartney recalled, 'I went and said, "I want to leave. You can all get on with Klein and everything, just let me out." Having not spoken to Lennon for several weeks, he sent him a letter that summer, pleading that the former partners 'let each other out of the trap'. As McCartney testified, Lennon 'replied with a photograph of himself and Yoko, with a balloon coming out of his mouth in which was written, "How and Why?" I replied by letter saying, "How by signing a paper which says we hereby dissolve our partnership. Why because there is no partnership." John replied on a card which said, "Get well soon. Get the other signatures and I will think about it.” Communication was at an end.’

(Peter Doggett, You Never Give Me Your Money, 2009 - P.88)

John phoned me once to try and get the Beatles back together again, after we’d broken up. And I wasn’t for it, because I thought that we’d come too far and I was too deeply hurt by it all. I thought, “Nah, what’ll happen is that we’ll get together for another three days and all hell will break loose again. Maybe we just should leave it alone.”

(Paul McCartney, November 1995 Club Sandwich interview)

Int.: … What else was Klein doing to try and lure Paul back? John Lennon: [laughs] One of his reasons for trying to get Paul back was that Paul would have forfeited his right to split by joining us again. We tried to con him into recording with us too. Allen came up with this plan. He said, "Just ring Paul and say, 'We're recording next Friday, are you coming?' " So it nearly happened. It got around that the Beatles were getting together again, because EMI heard that the Beatles had booked recording time again. But Paul would never, never do it, for anything, and now I would never do it.

(John Lennon interviewed by Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld at the St. Regis Hotel, September 5, 1971)

There’s no hard feelings or anything, but you just don’t hang around with your ex-wife. We’ve completely finished. ’Cos, you know, I’m just not that keen on John after all he’s done. I mean, you can be friendly with someone, and they can shit on you, and you’re just a fool if you keep friends with them. I’m not just going to lie down and let him shit on me again. I think he’s a bit daft, to tell you the truth. I talked to him about the Klein thing, and he’s so misinformed it’s ridiculous.

(Paul McCartney interviewed by student journalist Ian McNulty for the Hull University Torch, May 1972 [From The McCartney Legacy, Volume 1: 1969 – 1973 by Allan Kozinn and Adrian Sinclair, 2022)

JOHN: We’re not – we’re not fighting too much. It’s silly. You know I always remember watching the film with, uh – who was it? Not Rogers and Hammerstein. Those British people that wrote those silly operas years ago, who are they? WIGG: Gilbert and Sullivan? JOHN: Yeah, Gilbert and Sullivan. I always remember watching the film with Robert Morley and thinking, “We’ll never get to that.” [pause] And we did, which really upset me. But I never really thought we’d be so stupid. But we did. WIGG: What, like splitting like they did? JOHN: Like splitting and arguing, you know, and then they come back, and one’s in a wheelchair twenty years later— YOKO: [laughs] Yes, yes. JOHN: —and all that. [laughs; bleak] I never thought we’d come to that, because I didn’t think we were that stupid. But we were naive enough to let people come between us. And I think that’s what happened. [pause] But it was happening anyway. I don’t mean Yoko, I mean businessmen, you know. All of them. WIGG: What, do you think they were – do you think businessmen were responsible for the breakup? JOHN: Well, no, it’s like anything. When people decide to get divorced, you know, you just – quite often you decide amicably. But then when you get your lawyers and they say, “Don’t talk to the other party unless there’s another lawyer present,” then that’s when the drift really starts happening, and then when you can’t speak to each other without a lawyer, then there’s no communication. And it’s really lawyers that make… divorces nasty. You know, if there was a nice ceremony like getting married, for divorce, then it would be much better. Even divorce of business partners. Because it wouldn’t be so nasty. But it always gets nasty because you’re never allowed to speak your own mind, you have to talk in double-dutch, you have to spend all your time with a lawyer, and you get frustrated, and you end up saying and doing things that you wouldn’t really do under normal circumstances.

(John Lennon, Yoko Ono, October, 1971, St Regis Hotel, New York, interview with David Wigg)

Q: "If you got, I don't know what the right phrase is… 'back together' now, what would be the nature of it?" JOHN: "Well, it's like saying, if you were back in your mother's womb… I don't fucking know. What can I answer? It will never happen, so there's no use contemplating it. Even is I became friends with Paul again, I'd never write with him again. There's no point. I write with Yoko because she's in the same room with me." YOKO: "And we're living together." JOHN: "So it's natural. I was living with Paul then, so I wrote with him. It's whoever you're living with. He writes with Linda. He's living with her. It's just natural."

(John Lennon, Yoko Ono, St. Regis Hotel, New York, September 5th, 1971, interview with Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld)

'Dear Mailbag, In order to put out of its misery the limping dog of a news story which has been dragging itself across your pages for the past year, my answer to the question, “Will The Beatles get together again?” … is no.’

(Paul McCartney, Melody Maker, August 29, 1970)

‘Just tell the people I’ve found someone I like enough to want to spend all my time with. That’s me…the home, the kids and the fireplace.’

(Paul McCartney, interview, Evening Standard, April 21-22, 1970)

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[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 15

The beautiful mess that would’ve been The Beatles plus Yoko Ono plus Billy Preston plus Bob Dylan plus whoever else. Although I guess that is sort of what George went on to do. He really did just want a group of friends that cared more about each other than the product, and that’s what he created for himself. 

John: And the dream I had was you. The camera: zooms in on Paul’s wounded puppy eyes. John: *staring at Paul* d’you get my meaning? Imagine doing that to literally any other human being. I would not be that intimate with my best friend, my husband, my sister . . . anyone. Let alone my ex, (not literally, you all get what I mean) in front of my current SO and multiple cameras. This kind of thing really makes me wonder what kind of insane shit he must’ve said/done when they were alone, especially in happier times. 

George painted his own psychedelic guitar, and it looks gorg. Who painted Paul’s. Anyone know?

How can I Not assume “Stand By Me” is *meaningful* if, firstly, this is the second time you’ve sung it at each other during this project, and secondly, if you look at each other like This while singing it? Then again, when are they not uncomfortably intense when singing together?

“Oh, help me, Daddy. I don’t even know how this thing works.”  He says about the instrument he plays in the most successful band of all time. Paul can play whatever he needs to to get what he wants out of someone, and that includes dumb.

John’s little “Ookaay.” At Paul’s weird carrying-on about his insecurities with his bass playing. It just screams, “You’re delusional and I’m not getting into this right now.” Which is 1000% valid. Imagine being Paul McCartney and second-guessing your bass skills. Reminds me of that quote where John’s like, “He’s an egomaniac about everything else, but he’s coy about his bass playing. Which is stupid because he’s one of the most innovative bass players . . .”

John and Paul nail the harmony on “HoooooohOoOoOme.” And the LOOKs, you guys.

But also the nonverbal vocal communication! It’s one of my favorite parts about them, really. One of the things that reminds me of how special their relationship is. John makes a face. Paul goes, “brroop”. John replies with a beaming, “Yeah!” To which Paul adds another “brrrrip” as they simultaneously continue the song. It’s just unreal. Nobody does that. They are magical and they were right to think they had special telecommunicative powers. 

The lunch orders today are everything you need to know about the Beatles. John: Sparrow on toast. Paul: Boiled testicle. George: Uh, Mal? So, we’ll have whatever the vegetables are, and if they’ve got any cheese sauce for the cauliflower. Ringo: Mashed potato. That’s it. That’s them.

“Then there’s another one,” says Paul, doing a shit job of pretending he hasn’t rehearsed this to sound like some accidental discovery. “Don’t let me down. Oh, darling,” sung suddenly, and forcefully, directly at John, “I’ll never let you down.”

John, beaming like the star quarterback just told him he looked pretty, tucks his hair behind his ears and says, barely hovering in the safety of a joking tone, “Yeah, it’s like you and me are lovers.”

John has of course taken Paul’s game of gay chicken an arm’s reach farther than Paul’s comfortable with, at least in front of cameras, so he can only nod, and brush his own hair back. Stiff, expressionless. "Yeah."

(Of course, Peter Jackson cuts out what eventually evolves into John and Paul singing “we’re a couple of queers” and talking about wearing skirts for the performance) 

Am I the only one getting the vibe that John genuinely dislikes Teddy Boy? Not because he thinks it sucks or anything but because he doesn’t like the obvious similarities to his relationship with Julia? Personally, I love it. It was my anxiety song a few years back.

The original lyric to “fancy me chances” was Not “frock” I absolutely guarantee. 

Love Paul checking on Billy. Love that they're all, even with everything they've got going, making sure he's set up and taken care of.

Sorry not sorry that I’m so thirsty over literally every woman in this show, but. Hello, Pattie! She just walks in, ignores everyone else, kisses him Like That, whispers something, and gets out to go live her own life. Queen. Gorgeous. Obsessed.

George Martin praising his children for "working so well together." I love that he refused to produce them after the white album, not because they were being disrespectful to him or anything, but because they weren't getting along. And that, although he's not producing, technically, he can't stop himself coming in to make sure they're okay. He's such a good dad, literally.

John over here being emo af by himself, playing “I Feel Fine,” because he definitely does Not feel fine and he’s just as nostalgic as Paul, which is way too fucking nostalgic. Poor baby. 

[got-ticket-to-ride]

'We’d often get in the little glass-panelled porch on the front door looking out onto the front garden and Menlove Avenue. There was a good acoustic there, like a bathroom acoustic, and also it was the only place Mimi would let us make noise. We were relegated to the vestibule. I remember singing ‘Blue Moon’ in there, the Elvis version, trying to figure out the chords. We spent a lot of time like that. Then we’d go up to John’s room and we’d sit on the bed and play records, Fats Domino, Jerry Lee Lewis, Chuck Berry. It’s a wonderful memory: I don’t often get nostalgic, but the memory of sitting listening to records in John’s bedroom is so lovely, a nice nostalgic feeling, because I realise just how close I was to John. It’s a lovely thought to think of a friend’s bedroom then. A young boy’s bedroom is such a comfortable place, like my son’s bedroom is now; he’s got all his stuff that he needs: a candle, a guitar, a book. John’s room was very like that. James reminds me very much of John in many ways: he’s got beautiful hands. John had beautiful hands." - Paul (Source: Barry Miles, Many Years From Now, 1997)

I've slept in friends bedrooms before. Looking back on those memories personally, I had lots of laughs and fun, but I have never really cherished their bedrooms like how Paul is talking about John's room?

Queue end of 1970s when John was singing Blue Moon all alone in his New York apartment, reminiscining on his Elvis looking pal, Paul. (Blue Moon starts around the 1:52)

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

An (incredibly long) "I want"-style song dedicated to the most unruly of trios: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, and George Harrison.

The setting is the late 50's – it's deliberately a bit of a mish-mash :-)

Lyrics below the cut!

John: Green

Paul: Blue

George: Purple

P&G: Pink

J&P: Red

JP&G: Neutral

Liverpool gave up on me the first day of preschool

Teachers called me unruly cause I don't suffer fools

And my aunt who says she can't believe I’d throw it all away

Quarrybank, that school for cranks suspended me the other day

All those lads who quit this band to learn a proper trade

Think that I don't understand the facts of getting paid

But you both see,

It's them not me, it's us and this here prophecy

Do you see us five years on – well

Maybe three, that's sort of long

As they're writhing for our songs

And “Your group's on now, John "

Earning some preposterous wage

Free of this less-town-more-cage

As we enter center-stage

In our gold disk age

And the birds will have to queue

For a single peck at you

Then, emboldened by the view

Watch them molt on cue

And all we need is not to quit,

They'll call us Great Britain's

Newest stars, brand new guitars, guaranteed not to split

Picture us: the favourite band

With a record deal in hand

Going deaf from screaming fans

As per my new masterplan

Where we going, fellas? Where we going?

Where we going, fellas? Where we going?

(To the topper-most of popper-most of popper, to the topper)

To the toppermost of the poppermost!

I hear music in my head

Wherever I go

It's like it's bursting out my soul

It's something I cannot control

Meanwhile I can't drop this tune

Every night When I get home

I watch dad roll his eyes

"Heard of this thing called a comb? "

I sigh as he implies

That mum would be

So unhappy and so disappointed in me

However inopportune

There's a decade dawning soon

Shooting for the moon

And John may seem unreasonable

But his dream is feasible

Sometimes yes, guess he's a gull

I'll appease him though

And then I see how for we're come

Joined, we're greater than our sum

See, the rhythm's in the strum

Of the guitars and then some

Playing my part in your vision, I'll

Grab a pen, so much to discover

Let's produce another

Lennon-McCartney original

See the day John and me met

And Yes George, I didn't forget!

We become a matching set

Writing tete-a-tete

Where we going, Johnny? Where we going?

Where we going, Johnny? Where we going?

(To the topper-most of popper-most of popper, to the toppermost)

And where do I fit in?

And when do I come in?

Is there a spot for me at the

To the toppermost of the poppermost!

I'm the youngest, there's no day when they let me forget

But the part Paul will not say: I'm their safest bet

See the fact is they don’t practice systematically like me

I know my chord charts, strings, fretboard, parts of my soul, sorted by key.

Still the world is their playground

And I am watching from the fence

I can't yet jump with confidence

But mum taught me about patience

I still feel Julia's arms around me every time I play

What would my mum say? (She tells me)

Anything I set my mind to  (She taught me everything)

The heights I'll climb to (She wanted everything)

My time soon

Anything to prove I'm worth it (Wouldn’t approve)

Move the earth, they'll learn…

I had to learn to be the only one believing in me

And ever since she's gone, I can hardly stand it (Mum says I can stand it)

No one understanding (Don’t quite understand it)

The thing she saw in me

And dad, he just wants me to be practical

She’d call me her rebel without applause and tell me

Just keep making noise, always play in your own key

I will wait patiently

He may believe in me but not my choice

They will have no choice but to love me

Where we going fellas? Where we going?

To the toppermost of the poppermost!

Insert band name here.

Liverpool has no idea what’s coming

Liverpool will never be the same

They’ll put up posters of us

Like on this truck

John, that’s a bus!

Put your glasses on, Jesus!

And dad will be non-plussed when

Walking down the street he’ll see John (John), Paul, George (George) of the…

Johnny and the Moondogs… What! Definitely not. The Shoes!

The Quarrymen… Nononononono, JaPaGe3!

Liverpool has no idea what’s coming

Liverpool will never be the same

When they all see us one as three the blasphemous song trinity.

Everybody’s bitching

Where’s that old ambition

That got you essay prizes and into the institute?

I’m not a delinquent

I’ve just been rethinking

No one realizes I’m still just as resolute

Just keep making noise

Always play in your own key

They will have no choice

But to love me

Anything I set my mind to

The heights I’ll climb to

My time soon

Anything to prove I’m worth it

Move the earth

They’ll learn from me.

Where we going, fellas? Where we going?

Where we going, Johnny?

Where we going, fellas? Where we going?

(To the topper-most of popper-most of popper, to the topper)

And where do I fit in and when do I come in?

Toppermost of the poppermost.

[pauls1967moustache]

I've also been pondering George's role in all the girl Paul/John business, and I feel like he and Paul had their first kiss with each other and Jim always wished Paul would end up with George instead of John, but it didn't take long for George to figure out she just wasn't into him like that. John is definitely a giant competitive dick toward George for a while when he first joins the band, but eventually they decide to put aside fighting for Paul's attention and form their own closeness which they frequently ostracize her from, leading Paul to ironically feel like she has to compete with John for George's friendship. Also, the media deeefinitely milks the love triangle for all it's worth with them. (Not to mention the Paul/Yoko catfight lol, which they always deny but in ways that just keep fanning the tension. Also Yoko gets really put out whenever Paul/Linda don't invite her to their sapphic potlucks)

God, okay, I’ve actually thought about this a stupid amount because obviously when she meets John (and George) Paul’s still young enough that she’s still in that comp het mentality. Like she feels so different from other girls because sure Elvis is hot, she’d love to marry Elvis as much as the next girl, but also don’t they want to be Elvis?? But all the girls around her are talking about boys, and expect her to be talking about boys, so she kind of fakes it a bit to fit in, and she’s like “I’ll just kiss George to see what all the fuss is about”, and then promptly decides that the fuss is about nothing.

And then she meets John and that’s completely different, but also John takes her music seriously and she values that so much, so even if she sort of gets what the other girls are talking about now, she doesn’t want to be John’s girlfriend because a) she’s seen how John treats his girlfriends, and b) everyone already says she only got in the band because she’s John’s little girlfriend and she isn’t even, so she can only imagine how much worse it would be if she actually were.

Plus she can’t date any other guy because now that she’s in the group she knows how guys talk about girls, and she doesn’t want some loser who can’t even play the guitar as good as her going around saying he went all the way with the girl in the quarrymen.

So she comes to the very logical and pragmatic conclusion that she simply won’t have sex until she’s famous :)

But yeah I think JPG just end up in this little triangle of jealousy where like George is jealous for all the usual reasons, John is jealous because oh what she’ll kiss baby George but not him?? (He definitely calls George her boyfriend to piss the both of them off when he’s being antagonistic). Paul is jealous because John and George join forces to do chauvinism at her when she’s being annoying. Horrible little friend group all around!

Also I think it would be really funny if when they do get famous the general public just like ships Paul and George together. Like there’s definitely rumours about whatever the hell is going on with John and Paul, but because John’s married, they’re a whispered low-key implied in tabloids but in a way that works around libel laws kind of thing. But Paul and George are the single Beatles, and they are a girl and a boy, so reporters are straight up like “Are you two going to marry each other? All of your fans want you to,” to Paul and George (and John!)’s mutual disgust.

[harrisonarchive]

Recording “Don’t Bother Me” at Abbey Road Studios on September 12, 1963; photos by Norman Parkinson.

“The first song he wrote was ‘Don’t Bother Me,’ ‘and that pretty much summed up my state of mind at the time,’ he admits. ‘John and Paul were really getting into writing songs. I took a look at them and thought, “Well, I’ll get in on this game. I’m gonna try hat.” But having them as the other writers in the group, it was very difficult,’ he notes with considerable understatement. ‘So I tended to just write on my own for years and years, because I didn’t know how to communicate like that with somebody else. And it was very difficult to write songs that would be good enough for the albums.’ As a consequence, Harrison’s relatively small output with the Beatles — about 20 songs — are mostly gems. In any other ‘60s groups, a guy who wrote ‘If I needed Someone,’ Taxman,’ ‘You Like Me Too Much,’ ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps,’ ‘Here Comes the Sun,’ ‘Something,' 'Within You Without You’ would have been hailed as a pop savant; within the Beatles Harrison might as well have been playing Graham Greene’s The Third Man. And as the Lennon-McCartney copyright was more or less sacrosanct, Harrison’s contributions to their songs were never credited. ‘I had my one or two songs occasionally, but really I was more involved than that,’ he says. ‘I know now, writing with friends, that when you’re all sitting around and a song comes out, you have to think carefully about assigning how many percent each person gets. ‘Cause there’s nothing worse than being involved in a situation where you think, “Wasn’t I there?” ‘A lot of Lennon-McCartney songs had other people involved, whether it’s lyrics or structures or circumstances. A good example is “I Feel Fine.” I’ll tell you exactly how that came about: We were crossing Scotland in the back of an Austin Princess, singing “Matchbox” in three-part harmony. And it turned into “I Feel Fine.” The guitar part was from Bobby Parker’s “Watch Your Step,” just a bastardized version. I was there for the whole of its creation — but it’s still a Lennon-McCartney.’ ‘Tell me about it!’ Paul McCartney smiles when told of George’s comment. ‘I wrote “Yesterday” singlehanded and not only do I share it — now with Yoko — but the Lennon names comes before mine.’ Paul concedes the point about ‘I Feel Fine’ but suggests that ‘if you were together picky about all that stuff there’s a million woes and a million reasons to sing the blues. In actual fact we just decided to split it down the middle. Me and John were the writers, unless George came up with something. Anybody who threw half a line in, it just really didn’t count.’” - Musician, March 1990 (x)

[jiyoodreams]

Lost in the Melody: How Led Zeppelin Takes Me Somewhere I Can’t Explain

I’ve been thinking a lot about music lately. I guess it’s because there’s something about it that makes everything feel so… alive? I don’t know if that’s the right word, but you know how some songs just make you feel like you’re part of something bigger? That’s how I’ve been feeling, especially when I listen to certain songs. It’s almost like music knows things that I don’t. Like it understands parts of me I didn’t even know were there. Does that even make sense?

One song that’s been on my mind a lot is “You Shook Me All Night Long.” I know, I know, it’s a classic, and maybe it’s kind of obvious to talk about, but there’s something about it that gets under my skin. It’s like every note and beat has a purpose, like it’s telling a story without needing any words, even though there *are* words. But I guess the instruments are telling their own story too, you know?

I’ve been obsessing a little over the solos in that song, especially how each one feels like a different emotion. Like the part with the keys from John Paul Jones. It’s almost like… I don’t know, he’s trying to be polite at first? Like when you meet someone and you’re trying to make a good impression, but there’s something deeper going on. You can feel the passion underneath, the “Hey, I really want to know you more” kind of thing, but he’s still holding back. There’s this tension, almost like fancying things up, trying to make everything perfect, but you know it’s not going to stay like that. It’s like a polite conversation that’s hiding something much stronger underneath. Does that make sense? It feels like life is sometimes like that too — there’s all this stuff we hide behind what we say, but music just cuts through all that.

Then, oh my gosh, Robert Plant comes in with the harmonica. And it’s like, all that polite stuff just gets thrown out the window. Suddenly, everything’s raw. There’s no more pretending or holding back. It’s desire, but not in a gentle way. It’s like… primal? Like you can’t help it anymore. It feels so different from the first part, where things were controlled, almost like there was some fear of going too far. But now, there’s no fear left. You just… want. I think that’s why I love this part so much. It’s kind of scary but also thrilling? I wonder if other people feel this way when they hear it too. Like, do we all experience music the same way, or is it different for everyone?

And then, the last solo… I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s like everything builds up and then… explodes? That sounds dramatic, but that’s how it feels. It’s this moment where everything comes together, like all the feelings from before mix into something bigger. It’s not just about the music anymore — it’s about the whole experience. Like, Robert and Jimmy (I’m talking about Plant and Page, but it feels more personal to use their first names, doesn’t it?) are in this back-and-forth that almost feels like a conversation. But not a normal one. It’s more like… they’re challenging each other? Like when Robert’s screaming and Jimmy’s bending the guitar, and then they switch, it’s like they’re saying, “Okay, your turn now.” But they’re not just playing. It’s like they’re showing each other who’s in control, but also giving up control at the same time? I don’t know if that makes sense, but it’s such a crazy balance between them, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

And then there’s the moaning. Gosh, I’m blushing even thinking about it, but it’s kind of impossible to ignore, right? There’s something so intimate about it, but not in a cheesy way. It’s more like they’ve gone past the point of caring what anyone thinks. It’s just… pure. Like two people who’ve stopped worrying about how they look and are just lost in the moment. That’s what makes it so real, I think. When Robert screams and Jimmy bends the guitar and they’re almost… switching roles? It’s like they’re saying, “Let’s just give in to this and see where it takes us.” I wonder if people feel this way when they’re in love — like you’re so close to someone that nothing else matters anymore. Is that what love is like? I’ve always imagined it’s like this wild mix of emotions, where you feel like you’re losing control but don’t want to stop.

The way the whole thing ends, with that back-and-forth between them, it’s like the song’s telling you, “It’s okay to switch, to let go and trust the other person.” I guess that’s kind of what I think music does too. It lets you feel things you might not even realize you’re feeling, and it takes you somewhere you didn’t expect. It’s like a dance where you’re not always the one leading, but you trust the music to take you where you need to go.

I’ve always wondered how musicians can create something so powerful. Like, how do they know what to play to make us feel things like this? Do they feel it too, or is it different for them because they’re the ones making the music? I wish I could understand that better. Maybe one day I will. Maybe I’ll learn to play an instrument or sing, and I’ll get to feel what it’s like to create something that moves people like that. I wonder what it feels like to be on stage, playing something that makes people feel… everything. Is it scary? Is it freeing?

Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is, music is one of those things that just makes life feel bigger, like there’s more out there than we can ever fully understand. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe we don’t need to understand it all. We just need to feel it. Maybe that’s the point of music in the first place.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever really get it, but I think that’s part of the fun, you know? Not knowing exactly how or why music makes us feel the way it does, but just letting it take you somewhere. Does that ever happen to you? Where a song just sweeps you up and makes you forget about everything else?

I guess I’ll always have questions about music anyways.

[pleasantlyinsincere]

Do you know what John's hang ups about not being good about playing with kids was about? Like the Kyoko tape sounds adorable, and so do the the audios with Sean that are around, and even that moment in GB where he's joking with Heather about eating kittens. I don't at all get the sense of a man bad at hanging around with and entertaining children in the slightest.

I can't help but wonder if it was because he had some idea of how a dad "should" be that he felt he couldn't live up to because he didn't have one around. But then Paul also mentions in MYFN iirc that John couldn't play with kids, so I guess it wasn't just in his head, but I don't get it.

(Hi. Sorry, I had family over for a few days, so I am a bit late with replying.)

I actually don’t know. I think it might have just been one of the stories you start telling yourself and that sticks, or like you said he thought he should be able to do a certain kind of play that he found difficult to do. I do think he we can see that he was able to be fun with kids and doing a lot of goods things like we see with the tapes, playing guitar with them, teaching them swimming, riding bikes, flying paper planes, making drawings, taking Julian picking flowers in the garden for Cyn, or just being in idiot with kids like Julian said. So, maybe he thought that his way of hanging wasn’t really considered play? "I'm not a daddy with a set of bricks to play with. When I'm with the kids, they just come along with me and be with me, whatever I'm doing."And then I guess he knew that he didn’t have the patience, the endurance for constant repetition, or the will to put a child's needs first all the time, but those probably more blended into his uncertainty of fatherhood than a question of being entertaining with kids. I think it's in Giuliano, but definitely someone talking about the diaries, where there's a lot on John reading parental guides and trying different techniques and feeling frustrated, when he doesn't feel like they are working. In that context it definitely sounds like John thought there was a manual and a correct way to be a father and that he instinctively was doing it wrong.

[mooseyspooky]

Moz Solo was already on it @lovely-lady-fox! FamousWhenDead posted the whole thing:

Johnny Marr: How could Meryl Streep agree to be in Mamma Mia?

The guitarist lets us into his cultural life, from his love of David Hockney to making his friends watch a Joan Didion documentary

My favourite piece of music For a long time now, it’s been My Goal’s Beyond by John McLaughlin. Like his work with the Mahavishnu Orchestra, it is in a genre entirely of its own. It’s unquantifiable and makes me feel a certain way, no matter what happens in the outside world.

The lyric I wish I’d written “You’re going to reap just what you sow”, from Perfect Day by Lou Reed.

The instrument I wish I’d learnt Piano. I can play it, but only in amateurish fashion. I should say though there are guitar players who play the piano nicely like Neil Young, Paul McCartney and David Bowie. They play it as a means to an end and do wonderful things with it. But I would like to be a few levels up from there.

The music that cheers me up Any good pop music, which by definition usually means contemporary. There are things from my past that of course make me feel good. But there’s something about hearing music that’s fresh, upbeat and represents the modern world — it makes you feel that everything is OK.

I’m having a fantasy dinner party, I’ll invite these artists and authors Gary Oldman, Muhammad Ali and certainly Marilyn Monroe.

And I’ll put on this music Spirit Power: The Best of Johnny Marr.

Overrated I don’t tend to like shitting on people, but Mamma Mia!, for God’s sake, or We Will Rock You or any of those sorts of musicals. How did it get to that? We’re supposed to go along with the idea that they’re good. What was Meryl Streep thinking she was doing starring in that film, and Julie Walters? What were they thinking? There are a lot of things culturally that we’ve just gone along with and they really must stop.

Underrated

Blindboy Boatclub, the artist and musician from Limerick, is best known as one half of the Irish comedy hip-hop group the Rubberbandits. He’s amazing, has such an interesting way of thinking and also hosts the brilliant series The Blindboy Podcast too. One of the best books I have ever read is his Topographia Hibernica. I can’t recommend him or it enough.

My favourite author

Aldous Huxley. People would assume I’m thinking about Brave New World orThe Doors of Perception, but I’m actually referring to his work after he moved to the United States in the second half of his life. His essays and lectures are even better than his earlier work. I rediscovered him in the Nineties and he is my actual hero. Everything you read of his is an education.

The book I’m reading

Autobiography of Red by Anne Carson. It’s a trip, moving around from style to style. The novel is loosely based on Greek mythology, but set in modern times. It’s relatable and super interesting. PJ Harvey introduced me to Carson, an intriguing cross between an essayist and a poet.

The book I couldn’t finish

The Perennial Philosophy by Aldous Huxley. Just couldn’t do it.

The book I’m ashamed I haven’t read Ulysses by James Joyce. It just sounds so hard going. I love the idea of it and feel genuinely bad that I haven’t read it, but I do also feel like I know so much about it already. I admire it enough, without feeling the need to put myself through the hassle of reading it.

My favourite film Sergio Leone’s film Once Upon a Time in America. When it was first released, I went to see it a few times and decided then it was the best thing I’d ever seen. I recently saw The End We Start From, starring Jodie Comer. It’s so good. Amazingly, I came away from it with this feeling of triumph of the human spirit. It says a lot about what it means to be human and what we fundamentally need, which is compassion, connection, love and understanding. And Comer is just so believable in the role.

The box set I’m hooked on I’m rewatching Nurse Jackie. There’s so much good stuff out there that whenever I occasionally revisit old, great stuff, you forget how much it stands up. I like anything Edie Falco is in. I also have just rewatched the documentary Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold. I’ve watched it at least three times and whenever someone comes to my place that hasn’t watched it, I watch it with them.

My favourite TV series It has to be Mad Men. One of my friends is eagle-eyed and noticed that when they put an album on a turntable, it has the correct label from the Sixties. That’s crazy.

The film I walked out on

There are loads, often stuff I take my kids to see and they don’t even notice I’d left. I didn’t enjoy Baby Driver — I didn’t like the music in that at all.

I wasted an evening watching Manchester City play in the Champions League final in 2021.

The last movie that made me cry These days I can cry at almost anything so I can’t remember.

The place I feel happiest Running around Brooklyn, over the Williamsburg Bridge. Or around Portland, Oregon. Whenever I’m at those places, I always run unless I’m injured. I’ve done a lot of things in my life, but nothing quite beats that.

My guiltiest cultural pleasure Cheese and onion pasty, chips and peas. Anybody who says that’s not a culture doesn’t know what they are talking about.

If I could own one painting it would be We Two Boys Together Clinging by David Hockney. Any of his work would be a dream to own. Even the iPad stuff is beautiful. I went to see David Hockney: Bigger and Closer at the Lightroom and it was great.

FamousWhenDead's post of the article

[mythserene]

John in the Star Club Tapes: No Mr. Lewisohn, he is not charming

It is so stressful to listen to the December 28th Star Club tapes. And for anyone who has endured a relationship with an out-of-control person, who has tried to minimize the damage in public, terrified in every moment, it is borderline traumatic. You’re not terrified of anything in particular, but you still feel terrified. As moments stretch out, beat by beat, every hair on your body feels electrified. Your senses are on fire. Your blood seems hot and thick. You can hear and feel your pulse BOING-BOING-BOINGing in your head, and you are just trying to get through another second. You are blind to everything else and any future. All there is is now and you must, somehow, get through this because there is no escape. 

I can remember the understanding that dawned on me when I first heard Paul trying so hard to keep it together. Heard Ringo trying to distract with little drum fills, and for the first time truly understood how much George’s guitar is his voice.

But that is not at all what Mark Lewisohn got from these tapes. (By the way, I’ve done a few threads on this night as it breaks down, and I don’t have it in me to parse through and post all that audio again now.)

--

LEWISOHN: I mean, John— we need to talk about John Lennon on this recording. These recordings. Because he’s uh— he’s- he’s- he’s belligerent. Um, he’s under the influence of— I’m sure he’s under the influence of Prellies. Probably drink, as well. Um, he’s beguiling, he’s rude—

CS: —Yeah.

LEWISOHN: —He’s still charming. He’s— I mean he’s not horrible. He’s just —yeah— he’s just edgy!

--

On December 31st John’s “Battina” might indeed be beguiling, but on the 28th nothing is fucking “edgy” and it’s certainly not “charming.” It’s a dysfunctional family at Cracker Barrel desperately trying to get dad to stop screaming at the waitress.

But what is clear from the first moment to the last is that Paul is the conductor. At first John is just shambolic and a little wild, and Paul seems fairly relaxed, but it changes. All the sounds of everyone change as John unravels. There are times when I can just see Ringo, George and Paul looking at each other, and although Paul is the one who is landing the plane, it feels so much like a team effort.

(John, playing out the cycle that would become so familiar, has shaped up and is on his best behavior on the 31st and the band sounds great.)

I think we need to realize that this was just the dynamic. This is by far not John at his worst. By all accounts this was one of John’s best behaved Hamburg trips. It was a short trip, they had real bedrooms and a real manager, and they had a future they didn’t want to screw up. All those “funny” stories about John wearing a toilet on his head and laying on the stage drunk just smudge out the three other people in the picture. How much fun was it for them? 

Derek Taylor says that one of the things that helped bring George back after he walked out of the “Get Back” sessions was Taylor going to him and saying, “Come back, don’t make Paul shoulder the burden of John all alone.” The tape from December 28th makes that so explicit. 

There is the whole separate issue of Lewisohn seeming to be a terrible listener. He listened to the NAGRAS like a tribute and has gotten so many things wrong about them in interviews that I hope someone else (wink, wink AKOM) will handle the mess, because I do not have a podcast and this ain’t the best format for lots of audio. But hearing Lewisohn gush about John being “edgy” in these recordings in that weird, fawning voice—and completely fail to see and hear what the band was going through—troubles me in a much deeper way than almost anything else regarding the man. How can anyone be that blind?

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Nine

Here’s the thing. Like, on one hand, Paul loves teaching. But on the other hand, I honestly think he’d be a terrible teacher. He’s genuinely trying to explain songwriting to this kid, and all I’m getting is that I should be able to just look at a piano and it’ll give me whatever I want. “So it’s really just . . .” *plays Martha My Dear* “. . . and from there, you know, like, um, there’s no – unless you stop yourself – there’s no stopping yourself.” Yes, thank you, Professor McCartney. Very informative. Good thing you’re a gorgeous genius because not a word of that lecture made any sense. 

Seriously I am BEGging someone to write Paul and Ringo in the 20s as a cabaret duo! With Paul’s talents being songwriting, slutting it up, piano, and vocals and Ringo’s talents being tap-dancing, ventriloquist dummy impersonation, with the occasional piano, vocals, and sly winks. Maybe they meet George and John through organized crime, idk.

“They don’t just sort of come in your head, kind of thing?” “Yeah, sure. Fact, I had one this morning.” You know. As one does.

See, even Ringo’s on board with my plan. “Let’s make a silent movie.” And Paul. “In a club. That’s it. We’re in a band. We’re in a band, but we sell drugs.” And now they're stringing Paul up just for kicks. Maybe they could join the circus!

Literally the minute John starts being silly, Paul gets this fond look on his face and you can see the wheels turning like “quick, think of a way to get close to him.” And John’s into it. But they keep doing this seesaw thing and I can’t help but think how reminiscent it is of their dynamic as a whole. 

“I see you’ve given up smoking, Richie.” “Yes, I have.” Reminds me of that classic, “I don’t even smoke,” thing. Seems like five-hundred years ago.

PLEASE tell me Peter Sellers and Ringo had a torrid love affair during the filming of The Magic Christian. The way Peter touches Ringo’s hair and his face! Ringo being a gentleman and getting Peter a chair! And I mean there’s plenty of queer coding between them in the film.  

But also laughing my ass off at Peter’s reaction to their song-titles/lyrics/gibberish/other references code.

Yoko, you’re stone-cold and hilarious. “Or what we haven’t.” I honestly have mad respect for her complete disregard/disdain for the Beatles and their art only because that’s how they treat hers for the most part. But girl. You’re married to one of them. He genuinely does love them and what he does with them and you’ve got to respect that or go find someone else, you know?

Also, Paul does Not appreciate the attitude. “Or we’ll just sort of sit here and allow ourselves to be embarrassed. ‘Number nine . . .”

Aaand, just like that, Peter Sellers “must be off.” He lasted all of 1 minute 26 seconds. Weak. George and Ringo lasted fifteen years. 

MLH is literally that annoying person that asks you a serious question about yourself just so he can use you as a segue to talk about his problems.

John: just recovering from the day, you know. Yoko: from the night. John: embarrassed (you have no right, dude, you literally played your sex tape for everyone like two weeks ago) Paul: Did not want that image, thanks very much. 

It actually KILLS me though that we’ll never understand their code. Paul and Ringo will take it to their graves and no one else knows it and any footage like this we’ve got, and any code songs, will just be mostly uninterpretable for all time. 

Okay these few minutes here are soooo special to me. It’s John at his peak lovely, sweet, gentle, kind self. He makes a joke at which Paul can only nod darkly which makes John realize just how bad of a place Paul’s in. 

Paul wants them to get to work “achieve something every day.” But John knows he’s not in a good headspace to work and it’ll be shit and then Paul will spiral even more. So, he turns up the humor until Paul is sufficiently cheered. 

And then, he says. “Guitars? I thought that’s what they do.” And Paul’s stammering. “Oh, that is what they do, but–” John stands up, does a little head-tilt toward the instruments. “Come on, I’ll even show you about half a song I was writing. Come on.” That last in the tenderest, most coaxing voice. It’s just soooo. Like. We talk a lot about Paul ‘handling’ John, and he did. But John sure knows how to handle Paul.

I SO wish they’d have done something with “Madman”. It’s so fun!! Every single song in this era I will go to bat for, no question. 

Ringo’s little hug for Paul!!!! I can’t.

[the-boney-rolls]

The Great Covid Beatles Binge, Day 1: Nowhere Boy

I am stuck in bed with Covid and have decided to spend my time binging all the Beatles movies, docs and biopics I've never gotten around to. Up first, Nowhere Boy (2009)

OK this opening shot is actually stunning? The first chord of A Hard Day's Night and John running through Liverpool and stumbling just like in that movie. STRONG opener!

“Do I ignore you? No. So please don’t ignore me.” makes me think of "Don’t 'nore me Mimi!"

Oh Uncle George! I don’t know if their relationship was really this lighthearted and warm but it breaks my heart to think that sweet John couldn’t have a positive father figure in his life for long, he clearly needed that. 

John making weird little sounds while he doodles and then doesn’t even know that he’s being asked about his favorite guy. “Churchill sir!”

This poor actress has really been type cast as Messy Mom. I feel like she usually plays meaner/more fucked up characters though so I was skeptical, but I like her in this after all.

"I Put a Spell on You" really is a sexy song, damn.

So in the context of this movie, these scene doesn't even feel all that scandalous. This entire movie to this point (and going forward) has been framed a romance between John and Julia, so by the time you get here it's like yeah, I guess that's what we're doing. The writer of this movie read that one quote of John's talking about having feelings of attraction to Julia and really went WILD with it.

I'm shocked that they didn't try to find some way to get the song "Yes It Is" into this movie. Clearly someone has a theory:

If you wear red tonight Remember what I said tonight For red is the color that my baby wore

Anyway, this forest scene was hot.

I love Aunt Mimi and John teaming up to haggle with the man for a better price on the guitar. “That’s not very good is it John?” “Borderline mediocre if you ask me”

What is going on with this lodger and Aunt Mimi! I feel like I'm getting a vibe.

OK unsurprisingly, I need there to be like %1000 more significance placed on this scene.

I'm gonna pause here to talk about casting. I don't believe that actors need to look just like the subjects they're portraying, it's more important that they can carry out the essence of the character, but I do feel like sometimes, with certain characters, there are some aspects of appearance that are important. Like I think it is important that Paul is very pretty, both for his own character and for John's perception of him. And in this instance, the John actor is just objectively much prettier than the Paul actor and that's simply wrong. John would never in a million years say this little boy looks like Elvis!

This scene is such a mess, this movie is just making shit up now. Julia at literally every one of their gigs. John being weirdly jealous of Paul's relationship (??) with Julia. Paul being a great and confident lead guitarist! This last point in particular gets me because if that were the case, what's the point in bringing in George? Which happens in the next scene! There's absolutely no build up, it's just like here's George.

Justice for George, once again a nonentity in a Beatles movie. At least in Backbeat he had a couple funny lines.

Mimi made him birthday dinner and bought him a new guitar!! But he didn't show! Excuse me while I sob. This trope always gets me. I think the relationship between John and Mimi is my favorite part of this movie.

Ah the infamous punching scene. It really must have especially irked Paul that it was in the context of John grieving for his mother. Like, how dare they take this thing that was such a tender, emotional bonding experience for the two of them and make it into a display of John's macho anger.

Make me think -- WHAT would John have thought of this movie??

"In Spite of All the Danger," my beloved! This song is so good. Peter Jackson, please work your AI magic on the record to give us a cleaned-up version! I'm so McLennon-pilled though that it's very weird to see it in this context. Also, it's mostly a Paul song!

“Hamburg? Humbug!” Mimi, I love you!

OK sobbing. And as "Mother" plays the movie out? It's on the nose but it's working for me.

Overall, a fine movie. The whole concept of the movie as essentially a romance between John as his mother is questionable at best! But there were a lot of lovely shots of Liverpool and I did like Aaron Taylor-Johnson as John. He captured John's silly, playful side that you don't often see. Definitely the Mimi/John relationship was the best and most authentic feeling part of this movie, so I am glad that it ended on that note.

Next up, Give My Regards to Broad Street!

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday Barbara Dickson, born September 27th 1947 in the Kingdom of Fife.

Dunfermline lass Dickson’s dad was a cook on a tugboat at Rosyth and Barbara says her mother, a housewife “ was a very good singer, although she didn’t work professionally.”

From an early age she admits she knew she could sing better than most people, but that didn’t have the confidence to do anything about it. Barbara learned the piano at five n then “slowly but surely how to play guitar. “Playing the pop hits of the time like Everly Brothers songs and Shadows hits.

Barbara loved The Beatles when they came along, and then, when she was 17 and started going to the local folk club, discovering the music of Bob Dylan as well as the traditional folk music.

In 1969, Dickson recorded an album, The Fate O’ Charlie, with Scottish folk singer Archie Fisher, her first solo album, Do Right Woman, came out in 1970. Her career changed course after she met playwright Willy Russell who invited her to Liverpool to sing Beatles songs in his musical John, Paul, George, Ringo… and Bert. Robert Stigwood produced the show and signed her to his RSO record label.

In 1976 her single Answer Me went Top 10, this led to her being resident guest singer on the BBC Comedy show The Two Ronnies.

In 1977 Barbara released Another Suitcase In Another Hall, which Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice they had asked her to sing for Evita but wasn’t in the show, just on the cast album. Next came a children’s album with Ringo Starr called Scouse The Mouse and her hit January February in 1980 became one of her biggest hits around the world.

Dickson appeared in the musical Blood Brothers in 1982, when she acted for the first time. In 1984 she hit the top of the charts in a duet with Elaine Paige, I Know Him So Well, written by Benny Andersson of Abba. It was very much of its time; a 1980s power ballad, slightly overblown, she had the hair and the big shoulders which makes me think that the version of The Skye Boat Song was around the same time.

Dickson is married to Oliver Cookson who works as an Assistant Director in television for the BBC, and has three sons. She and her family live in Edinburgh.

It’s always tough when I get to this part of posts regarding singers as I have to choose what song to post, that’s not to say I don’t enjoy reacquainting myself with some cracking songs and with Barbara being in the business for over 50 years there is no shortage to pick from.

In 2022 our songstress toured with pianist Nick Holland they will perform a wonderful range of material drawing on Barbara’s folk roots, contemporary greats and some of her classic hits.

Now in her 77th year Barbara is still working hard and tiouring the UK agai. As well as dates down south you can catch her in Dundee, Greenock, Crieff, Edinburgh and Livingston next month, a live album was also released two weeks ago.

[otsukare-katsukare]

Please do!!

Well If You Insist!

(copied right out of the drafts <3) (long)

okay beatle roys. they don’t map perfectly at all, but if you absolutely HAD to, im sorry roman but you are george. yeah sure romey we know you’re a good songwriter you can have 2 on this album how’s about that? as smart as or maybe smarter than his siblings/bandmates but doesnt have a genius complex unlike them so is forced to play their games. including their mind games with each other. didn’t want to go on the roof; ended up on the roof. kendall is paul, ‘big brothering’ the little angry guy on the bus who he’ll always see as a little kid even though there’s like 2 years between them for christ’s sake. in terms of age seniority john might be the kendall equivalent but unfortunately paul was ACTUALLY an older brother and he brought that energy to the band, and the john/george alliance against paul reeks much more strongly of roman and shiv teaming up to peck their golden boy older sibling than anything george and paul had together against john. and to those who would say roman’s too much of a dick to be sweet peaceable george, he’s actually nicer okay cause he refused to sign the letter decrying kendall as a bipolar drug addict but george played slide guitar on how do you sleep quite happily.

on the subject of kendall, his depressive lows may seem more john but his manic highs? his big creative visions? his costumes (he got one for roman too)? his general addiction to the spotlight? his droopy eyes? his inability to have swag despite his charm and talents? the way his siblings close ranks against him when he tries to make a stand? the way he's a cog built to fit one machine and paul mccartney's state after the beatles broke up Actually im getting sad let's change the subject? looking for pussy like a fuckin techno gatsby? non zero chance of having done a collab with kanye west/wanted to do one? paul. he’s paul. 

but it’s tough because shiv is the least easy to pin down as her age and gender relations with the rest of the family put her the furthest from john, and she ends up being at best a combo of all three - the underestimated and undermined baby (george) the repressed thwarted leader failgirl (paul) and the hotheaded bastard who's smart but not as smart as she thinks she is (john). but that john role gets much more delectable when you have kendall as paul, or at least if you think of them as the core duo in some way - im thinking of that crushing final scene between them, like take 'I want a divorce' and multiply it by a hundred holy fuck. she respects him, but she needs to prove herself better than him constantly. she needs validation just the same as he does but she's determined to believe/put out that everything she does is entirely under her own steam and that other people are pawns to her. her relationships with logan and mattson remind me of john with authority figures he would latch onto in the hope that they'd fill the void left by his parents, before realising they were phonies trying to get something from him and angrily discarding them.

honestly actually while shiv is the hardest to map clearly john is also the hardest from the beatles end cause there's a lot going on there from childhood trauma that any one of the roys can relate to, and his brand of cruel wit fits them all to an extent as well - but this is the configuration i like the most. also her spouse broke up the band

of course connor maps onto ringo perfectly do i even need to explain it - actually i do cause people might just take that to mean i’m saying ringo was useless or ignored. no he was the older brother everyone loved and who loved everybody, who was an only child for most of his childhood and was so happy to get three brothers/siblings even though they happened to be the worst people alive.

there you have it. and logan. is allen klein (kendall dreams he is being hunted down by him as a dentist)

oh one more thing - kendall as paul is right because he's the only one who's a documented beatles FAN lol

[winstonhenderson]

𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟗.

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓻𝓾𝓲𝓽𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓔𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓸𝓾𝓻

𝙎𝘼𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙁𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎

Julia’s Diary

Today was wild.

So, I was doing my chem homework, organic chemistry (drawing all those silly hexagons) when I hear the doorbell.

“Julia, get the door please, I’m in the bathroom washing the clothes.”, Mimi ordered. I sigh.

“Fine.”, I ran downstairs to the door. Opening the door I see… Paul!

“What are you doing here?”, I ask him.

“Have I come at the wrong time? I wanted to surprise John, I had a great idea for a song.”

Well, he surprised him.

“You appeared so suddenly.”

“John does that to me so much.”, Paul remarked with a soft smile. I blushed.

“What’s that song like? I ask John about your songs, but he always wants to finish something to the end so I never get the feel of your process.”

“Johnny being secretive, of course.”, Paul giggled, “I have listened to Elvis recently and I decided to move his chords down on me guitar and I liked the melody… I wish I could show ya, but I forgot the dumb thing, not thinking. I just wanted to get to John’s as fast as possible.”

“The melody just dawns on ya?”, I asked him for fun… As John I never got to talk with Paul about this in a more formal way, “I know the feeling, I write poetry in my freetime, the text just appears before me. Don’t worry about the guitar. You could always play on John’s.”

Paul was staring at me.

“You’re right, Julia.”, he smiled wide, “And you write too? Maybe you could help us two with rhymes or somethin’?”

“No, I trust you two can get the job done.”, I wanted to disappear.

Paul frowned.

“Will you at least give me some advice? Or critique?”

I cackled, “Of course, you git!”

I mentally facepalm myself for this, because John usually says that.

Paul took it well. He entertained me with some more topics and I didn’t notice when Mimi put a hand on my shoulder.

“Oh, it’s your-young man himself, John’s little friend.”, it was the most effective save.

“Hello, Mrs. Smith.”, Paul politely greeted my aunt. 

“I should go get John.”, I said.

I went to John’s room and saw his clothes on the heater. Wet. 

“Okay.”, I thought, “Second solution; get bandages and some of my clothes that can pass as masculine. I feel sorry for John.“

And half of my masculine clothes were dirty and the other was wet like John’s clothes!

“Fucking hell.”, I swore.

It looked like I would be spending most of the day at home and without Paul. My thoughts were “God fucking damn it! I need to be more careful! I was reckless as John and Julia. I failed twice. And now I have to send Paul home.”

I go down the stairs with sadness. I somehow got myself together and told Paul, “Paul, John is not here currently.”

“What? He is always home at this time!”, Paul panicked because he liked when his plans go exactly how he imagined, “God. Mrs. Smith, do you know where John went?”

Mimi’s eyes widened.

“I don’t know… He didn’t tell me where he went.”

“Oh, he could be anywhere! I have to find him!”, Paul decided.

Why must he complicate things!

“Paul, he is fine really, trust me, I’m his twin!”, I told him.

“No, I have to check some places, and that fact makes me think you should go with me!”, Paul smiled.

“No, I’ll wait for him.”, I rejected his offer. But his offer couldn’t be rejected.

“Mrs. Smith, us two are going to search for him!”, he dragged me off.

“Paul, Paul, what do you think you’re doing?”, I asked him, while he didn’t slow down.

“I am taking another person with me to balance out my panic? Smart, huh!”

“Yeah, you’re smart but you’re mostly cute.”, I regret that compliment.

He turned his head toward me.

“John could be at the Cavern Club so we’ll go there first.”, he slowed down to a walking pace.

That’s when I knew this was going to be a long day. I wanted to escape that situation and tell Paul I’m John. But John would be compromised so… A long day was the better choice. 

“Wait here, I ask them if John has appeared.”

I waited for Paul. Paul calmly asked for John and the owner answered he hadn’t seen any of the Beatles since the last gig they played. Paul was sad.

“John wasn’t here.”

“Of course, it’s day, it would make more sense if he’d gone to Cyn’s.”, I mumbled.

“Julia, you’re a genius!”, he took my hand in preparation to run like a madman again.

And that’s when I furiously blushed.

“Let’s go to Cynthia’s.”, he began running and made a hard stop, “Wait, I don’t know where Cynthia lives.”

“It’s lucky you got her best friend by your side.”, I told him, letting go of his hand and leading him.

“How does it feel to have your brother date your best friend?”, this question made me laugh inside but I decided to be serious and make up a story about jealousy.

“I dunno, I think he could be brash with you and I’m afraid it will affect Cyn.”, I answered.

“I think he is quite sweet with her!”, Paul stepping into John’s defence was cute as hell, “I know he could be violent and agressive, but he always defends Cynthia and honours her desicions, privacy and time. Though I admit, he is possessive. But Cynthia could be clingy and possessive too.”

“You can’t say that against her!”, I defended Cyn, “Cyn barely sees him because of your practices.”

“You have a point, but sticking around during that time could be distracting for Johnny.”

“Well, John making a mess in front of her parents could be distracting for Cyn.”

I made a reminder to write in here that I shouldn’t be that overreactive to Cyn because it makes her look bad, even though it solidifies our “relationship”.

We arrived at Cyn’s.

I rang the doorbell, and her highness, Cynthia Powell, or Lennon if we continue doing this forever, came out with her hair full of curlers.

“Jules! What is the occassion?”, she noticed me first, “I didn’t think we were going out today?”

“Hi, Cyn, have you perhaps seen John?”, I asked.

Cynthia began laughing because I just asked where I was.

“I wish I had… We haven’t gone out in a while…”

I gave Paul the look of  “See?”

“Perhaps you could give us some more information where he could be?”, Paul asked with a scoff.

“He isn’t at Jules’ so… Because Paul’s here you checked the Tavern… You could check the record store!”

Paul lit up. Cyn did me a favour. At least I could see some new records.

“Bye, Cynthia!”, Paul dragged me again.

“Hey! Cyn, bye!”, I shouted for Cyn to hear me, “Why are you leading again!”

“Too slow.”, he said, “We were just fast walking! He could’ve got to the end of Liverpool by now!”

“Paul! Don’t worry your pretty head about it!”, I made a hard stop!

“Why’d ya stop!”

“John wouldn’t run anywhere. He’s lazy about stuff.”

“I’ll slow down then.”, he still held me by my hand, “But we are faster walking!”

I chuckled at his behaviour. I love him so much, my dear diary, I do.

“So, Cynthia calls you Jules?”

“Yeah… Almost all of my friends call me that. Even though my name isn’t shortened in anyway.”

“But it is cooler.”, god, my heart melted for that boy right then.

“Right on the mark, fella’”, my John was showing through.

We entered NEMS, a music store which began selling new records. I wanted to check it out for a while. Inside were two people, an older gentleman and a younger man who was becoming an intern I guess? The fresh intern went to the staff room. I was starry eyed! Records upon records upon more records! Paul felt like home too by his expression. 

“John and I have to check it out together! I could even bring George here.”

“Yeah, I’d love to look at this too.”, I sighed.

“You can come with us!”, Paul looked into my eyes.

“I dunno.”

Paul used the “puppy dog eyes” on me.

“You think we aren’t cool enough? Or maybe that we’re boring! Or… small?”

I remembered I was two years older than him.

“You are a bunch of nerds, and I am, so deal.”, I made an unfulfillable promise.

He happily leads me to the counter to ask for John.

“Hi!”

“Hello.”, the older gentleman said.

“Um, have you seen about this high-”, he pointed to me, “boy with a quiff like me and similar outfit enter today?”

The older gentleman gently smiled.

“No. I’d remember a teddy boy if I saw one. My son, Brian, always points them out, today is the day he becomes the director, so you’ll see him more. It’s a shame he isn’t working at the cash register today, he is great with this new record craze.”

So, that younger man is his son.

“Oh congrats.”, I politely congratulate him.

“I hope you find your friend soon.”, he wished us luck.

“I hope too.”, Paul said, “And thank you, good luck to your son.”

Paul is always so polite. It was already lunchtime, and I think Paul is hungry. Paul and I would usually go for a snack right about now so I knew where Paul was heading. Our favourite restaurant spot wasn't far from NEMS. I wanted to curse Paul for pulling me everywhere, but I didn’t have time. Paul headed to our favourite waitress which John relentlessly teased. Paul was intelligent, of course he’d head for her! 

“I didn’t spot any Lennon.”, she infeciously giggled, “Except his sister behind ya.”

Another fooled woman. Just how charming was my illusion?

Paul came close to me grabbing my hand.

“John’s not here, time to go.”

“Paul, you need to eat something!”, I said sternly, “You’re hungry!”

“No, I’m not!”, he was angry.

His stomach grumbled.

“Your digestive system says otherwise.”, I made a medical pun! A medical pun. So uncool.

Paul sighed, “Then we’ll grab some grub and continue searching. I hope John’s okay…”

He cares about me so much…

We sat on our… John’s and his favourite spot. Usually John would make some unnecessary puns at the waitress so I decided to do the absolute opposite.

“So, what’ll it be for you and Lennon?”, she was joking.

“I would like the usual.”

I would love to say the usual, but.

“I would like a burger, no fries, with a Coke. That’s it.”, I was straightforward with listing my favourite order.

“Siblings have similar taste.”, she chuckled and then she gasped.

“What?”, I panicked.

“Nothing nothing, just a funny little thought.”, she looked at Paul, “I mean you even share friends.”

“This is just pure coincidence, your Johnny went missing.”, I explained.

“He went missing!”

“Yes, why would I, his best friend, be asking if he was here?”

“Then we will hurry up with your orders, lovebirds.”, she’s done it.

“What?”, Paul was pink from embarrassment.

I facepalmed myself.

“At least our food will come faster without a prolonged battle of wits.”

“You really are something, Jules. Never seen a girl be this direct in my life.”

I raised my eyebrow.

“You haven’t met enough of us lad.”, I pat him on the head unconsciously.

I realized it when he said, “Haven’t had a good chance to talk with you.”

I quickly got my hand off, “Oh.”

“Usually I look at birds, I mean girls as people who like cute clothes, organizing themselves, having fun, following trends, wearing makeup, doing their hair… Geo would describe a typical girl as “Cynthia”.”

“George isn’t right. Cynthia is a great girlie, she loves art and enrolled into a great college and is doing gear.”

“Not in that right, but like… What I said before that. You are not like that. You are… A girl's girl, though, hum, you’re into records like John and dress more casually. You don’t draw attention.”

“Are you saying I’m not feminine enough?”, I got angry.

Paul got more pink.

“I-I jus-just think you being different is cool, because you-you aren’t interested in men, um, noticing you. You are just you.”, he calmed down. I didn’t see him mutter so much, except when he lied to Dot and when a cute girl approaches him.

“You are lying.”

He got pink.

“No. I mean it! Cross my heart. Which girl has such a cool nickname? Only you.”

My dreams came true, I could’ve died at that moment. I was red for sure.

“That’s enough. You need to hang out with more women.”

Our food arrived hot from the oven. We take it out.

“Bye!”, Paul and I say.

“When you find Johnny, tell him he shouldn’t disappear on you like that ever again!”

“I will teach him a lesson.”, I told her.

“Oh, Paulie, you should watch out! The stories are true! While Johnny is too intelligent for his own good, she is too intelligent for our good.”

I roll my eyes, while Paul laughed. I couldn’t help but smile.

“I know where we should go! You were right, this literally was food for thought!”

“Where?”

“Strawberry Fields!”, Paul took my hand and blushed…

“I won’t drag ya this time… Just keep up.”

“Alright, Paul.”, he led and I trailed behind him, quickly catching up. 

Strawberry Fields was further than any spot we visited so far. Paul wasn’t up for a talk now, I could see by his focused face and huffing. He was really worried for John. 

We arrived in record time for us two, just ten minutes of  “faster walking”.

“JOHN!!!”, Paul shouted scaring people in the park, “Julia, you take the left side of the park and I’ll take the right, we’ll meet at the fountain okay?”

God, I will have to scream an imaginary person’s name to convince Paul and the others. This seems so fucking funny.

“John!”, I shouted everytime before entering another part of the park.

I asked around for myself. I wanted to die of embarassment and laughter everytime. I had to go to some bush to laugh it out. My search was of course fruitless and I gave up pretending and went to the bench. I got my worried face on. I had to act. Because this really was the last place I would think of going. Paul came with a deathly afraid face without hope.

“Where is John, where the hell is he?”, Paul loudly elaborated.

“I know he’s fine. I’m sure of it. He is home surely, we just didn’t have any luck to run into him-”

“HOW COULD YOU KNOW! YOU HAVEN’T HAD A REAL CONVERSATION WITH HIM FOR MONTHS, JULIA!”, Paul screamed, “WHO KNOWS WHERE HE COULD BE! MAYBE HE WAS SADDENED BY YOUR NONCHANLANT ACTING!”

Paul put his hands on his mouth. I sold the image about Julia and John’s relationship too well.

“Paul… I didn’t know he felt that way. I could be naggy and too logical sometimes…”

“We are emotional too! We’re not queer for being that way.”, Paul got upset real fast.

“Paul, Paul…”, I pat him on the shoulder. I made my angel upset. I did that. My lack of planning made this day awful. Paul felt insecure for being called queer.

“People call you that?”

“My eyes… My eyelashes to be exact.”, he pointed, “My "pigeon" chest. My dainty figure.”

“You are not dainty.”, I defended him, “You are a man like any other!”

“I don't think I'm like John.”, oh Paulie…

“He is so brave and strong. He can stand up to anyone… Don’t tell him, but I really think he’s my coolest and my biggest idol. He is George’s too.”

I’m an idol? I’m like Elvis already. Jokes on me.

“That’s why he is fine, Paul. I won’t tell him, I promise.”

You told him yourself Paul.

A small pause.

“You know.”

He looks into my eyes.

“He respects you a lot too. He told me last time we spoke. His words were “Macca can play so well he could best any Liverpool player.”. I trust him on that McCartney.”

“He even in private calls me Macca…”, his words wandered off, “I’m glad you told me.”

He hugged me. It was late afternoon.

“If you want, we can go to my house and check if John’s back? If not, we could ask aunt Mimi to make us some tea. John bought a tin of Digestives for when you and George come by.”

“That’s nice of him.”, Paul smiled, “I’m sorry for dragging you so suddenly… I was so drawn in by my best friend going missing that I didn't even want to listen to reason.”

“It’s alright. I should’ve gone with you and searched, you did the right thing. And I had fun. Though it was stressful. I have seen the new NEMS record selection and had time to talk with John’s little friend.”

Paul blushed profusely. 

“Not so little aren’t I?”

I wanted to kiss him on the lips at that moment but I held myself together.

“Yeah. You aren’t. You're a big boy now.”

He looked at my chin.

“Yeah, yeah.”, he let me lead the way.

“What a gentleman.”, I chuckled.

“Only for a lady like you, Julia.”, he smiled sadly. His day did go to waste. John’s clothes are dry for sure so he will see his Johnny today. Now I was speeding up.

“Oi! Now, you are going too fast! Aren’t you tired?”

“Exactly why I am “faster walking”.”, I lied.

“I follow.”, he giggled.

“I love your smile, Paul.”, I regret that too.

“I love yours too, Julia, it’s beautiful. It suits you as it suits John.”

He called our smiles beautiful! Paul loves us! And respects us!

We ran and arrived at my house at sunset. I rang the doorbell.

Aunt Mimi didn’t get the door and we heard some shouting.

“JOHN WINSTON LENNON! YOU ARE GROUNDED! GOING TO STRAWBERRY FIELDS THEN COMING BACK DIRTY AS A PIG! AND TO THINK MY INNOCENT LITTLE NEPHEW WOULD DO THIS!”

Aunt Mimi was smart.

“Looks like we found Johnny.”, I sighed full of relief.

“You were correct about him being fine! Oh, Jules, you’re so cool!”

Wow, now that I write that down, I can’t believe that happened, but it did.

We heard some steps and aunt Mimi opened the door.

“No need to explain, auntie!”, I said.

“I’m glad you don’t cause so much stress, Jules.”, she patted me on the head, “My innocent little niece. Your poor little friend can sit down. John will come down, Julia will go and help him clean himself up.”

I hug her. I sent her a “thank you” look.

“Yes, auntie!”, I tried to go upstairs.

“Julia, I had fun!”, he said without reason. Maybe he knew I wouldn’t come down. So. I did the unthinkable.

“Me too, thank you for this day Paul.”, I hugged him and ran upstairs.

I knew my aunt was going to pester him about this.

I went to John’s room again and the clothes were dry. I got some already dirty towels and clothes on the floor. I put on my bandages, dressed up, fixed up my hair and put on makeup. And I was done! Great! Just great. I didn’t get to spend the whole day working with Paul! I haven't heard his idea yet! Maybe he lost it by now. Just because of mine and Julia’s poor planning.

I left my room and went downstairs just to be greeted with Paul’s hug.

“JOHN! YOU GIT!”, he squeezed me hard.

“I missed ya too lad.”, I said.

“YOU WENT OUT WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING! YOU IMBECILE!”

“I went outside for a ciggy and inspiration, and everyone gets their knickers in a twist? Though outside meant some bushes in Strawberry Fields.”

“Where’s Jules? Can you ask her to come down with the guitar?”, he got pink again.

“You want her or the guitar?”, I joked.

“Um, I want both!”, he got defensive.

“You like my sister?”, I am a special kind of cunt.

“NO. I was wondering where she is…”

“She has become one with the bed, bloody tired from runnin’ after ya. Literally heard ya dragged her to find me, knight in shining armour.”

He blushed again.

“I apologized.”

“I know.”, I let off, “I’ll get the guitar. I hope Mimi isn’t too mad.”

“From what I’ve heard, she is.”

I get my guitar quickly. I’m back to see that Mimi is letting me hang out with Paul.

“I convinced her to let us work.”

“You are still grounded.”, Mimi stated.

“I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Until you’re 21, you are a child, John.”

I sighed. Thank you for looking out for me.

“I have this melody I have to show ya.”, that was the reason he came.

“Great. I have some text and melodies to show ya too.”

“We could combine them. Oh, do you know your sister writes poetry? It’s similar to you. Both of you start with text.”

“Oh… She didn’t tell me.”, I faked being disappointed.

“And she has some mannerisms like you, and she speaks her mind, and she has a good taste in music, her smile is similar and”

He paused for a second laughing.

He knows too much! Distraction, fast, distraction!

“You indeed like her.”, I spouted not thinking. Though this would be so nice if it were true.

“I wanted to say, that that makes you siblings for sure and shows how much time you spend together.”, Paul rolled his eyes, “Do you want me to get with your sister? You think people like your sister are my type?”

“They aren’t…”, I sighed, “I’m joking Macca. You know me.”

“It isn’t a very nice joke.”, he pouted.

“Oh, now jokes have to be nice?”, I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Jokes have to offend somebody otherwise they aren’t funny.”, a nugget of knowledge from John Winston Lennon.

“What’s next? It’s okay because the means justify the ends.”, Paul made a great joke worth a laugh.

We went to my room and sat on my bed discussing the melodies and text… We had a blast.

“You sure we aren’t too loud for Jules?”, he was worried.

“Oh, no… She sleeps like a log.”, I made up some new story on the spot.

He chuckles.

“I know now why you can’t stand each other!”, he thought to himself.

“Why Macca dear?”, I came closer.

He closed in, a hair away from my nose.

“Because you are too similar.”, he turned around, making me jump! God, I was being queer again! Stop!

“Yeah.”

Late night. Meaning Paulie has to go home. 

“I must head out.”, he poshly elaborated.

“I’ll see ya to the door, Mr. McCartney.”

“You know, your aunt has been making eyes at my behaviour because your sister thanked me for a great day.”

“So, I’m not the only one. Mimi is a queen.”

“Mr. Lennon, you drive me crazy.”

“Crazy? I drive you mad huh?”, I played with the word.

Paul rolled his eyes.

“Wanted to say mad with love?”

“Mad with power! God, Paulie, you and your love stuff. And you have to stop setting yourself up for queer jokes.”, I ruffled his hair.

“Thanks Lenny, now I have less ruffling to do.”

“Always at your service, Macca.”

“See ya, Johnny.”

“Goodbye, Paulie.”

I closed the door and was relieved.

“Julia Victoria Lennon, I trust you won’t be going out as John for two weeks?”, Mimi was washing the dishes.

“I promise, Mimi, I’m so glad you exist. How did you know we were coming?”, I went to the kitchen.

“Oh, I was watching every couple of minutes to check if you are near. When I saw you in the distance, I began screaming a bit earlier and repeated the whole sequence in a circle.”

“Auntie, you are very smart and I promise you as your smart niece that I won’t get into this mess again.”

“John is still grounded!”, Mimi was difficult.

“That sucks!”

“Your little friend understands. He respects John and respects me, so he’ll wait out.”, she put down the sponge.

“And my gigs?”

“Go and cancel them.”, she looked me straight into the eyes.

“Not even the gigs?”

“Not even them. Learn your lesson.”

“I’ll help ya around the house, just don’t make it two weeks.”

“Maybe I’ll look over next week's gigs, but this week no.”

“Oh! Great. Good night, Mimi.”, I put the chairs in their places and went upstairs to tidy up my room. I got out of my outfit. Always a nice feeling when I get off of bandages, almost as good as when I get in them. I take off my makeup. I wash and dress fresh. 

And now I’m here writing this down. What did I think of this day? Exactly what I wrote at the beginning plus…

I’m not letting myself make the same mistake ever again.

Rest of Sacrifame