#don’t talk to me about canon as far as I care they got married and are living their best lives

[tenjikufag]

He Found Us.

Gojo Satoru x Male!Reader

-hurt/no comfort, young ‘parents’, Gojo saving megumi, not exactly from canon

-no one requested but this was on my mind for awhile, kind of breaking my own rules since I don’t like writing about parental roles/kids. Hope you enjoy!

Freshly 19, your boyfriend and you had moved into an apartment close to Jujutsu tech- he’d decided on becoming a mentor, a teacher, an an overseer of the school. He said it was because there was nothing suitable for him to do as job like other sorcerers do, but you knew it was because he was already far too deep into the politics of everything.

He was a target, if he were to be out of their grasps they’d do anything to put him down like a dog. Many favoured ones in past history were..

All that to say,

You lived an okay life.

Satoru had decided on the two of you living here for the foreseeable future, it was a safe place and just a walking distance for him to get into the school.

You kept up with curse fields, taking out threats like a janitor of sorts, that’s what it felt like. Nothing serious, but you always felt a twinge of unease.

Something was about to happen.

You weren’t sure what, or if it was good or bad.

But you hated surprises.

You liked to be in the know, be prepared for what’s coming. It was bothersome to allow such annoyances ruin your day, week, month, or even life.

Satoru knew this, and yet..

You had come home to a child in your apartment.

A young, spiky black haired, dark blue eyed boy sat on your couch.

Your boyfriend trying to feed him, only to be ignored by the kid- a visible scowl on the poor kids face.

“Who is that?”

The kid looked over at you, small finger pointing in your direction to which your boyfriends gaze followed- eyes brightening when they landed on you.

“That’s Y/n! He’s my boyfriend and he’ll be takin care of ya with me!”

Huh? Taking care of him? You didn’t sign up for babysitting, you had a packed schedule for the foreseeable days and weeks- no way in hell are you putting your job aside to take care of some kid.

“Huh? We babysitting?”

Approaching the pair, the kid shrunk into the couch and Gojo mumbled apologies under his breathe to the child.

“I uh, we are gonna raise him. Keep him safe, yknow? I already got all his school fundin’ taken care of-“

“What?”

You didn’t want to say anything brash, the kid obviously already emotional and bothered by the situation..

But what did he mean? Funding? School? Raising?!

There were no indications of him lying, especially with the way he tried to interact with the kid, trying to push himself into its space and almost coddle him..

Gulping, you stepped away and quickly left again.. you’d let Satoru take care of the kid until nightfall- when you came back maybe you could talk to him and make sense of it all with the kid asleep.

Kids was never a discussion you’d had with him.. I mean hell, you were two dudes. Not that there was ever any problem in your mind of same sex parents but it was never.. anything you’d envisioned for yourself. Nor was it recognized in Japan, you couldn’t even get married!

And… You didn’t want kids.

Maybe Satoru did..

What he had said about raising him.. your skin raised with goosebumps at the ‘implications’. Where did he even get the kid?! It wouldn’t be out of the question that he had happened to kidnap a kid but he couldn’t be that stupid, right?

It felt surreal, a child had infiltrated your ‘okay’ life.. you were too young to have a child in tow, what the hell did you know about raising a kid?! What did Satoru know about anything?!

It was too dangerous to have young child around, there was a reason curse users were typically born to clans; they were given a community to protect the young and vulnerable. They knew how to take care of their own, despite all the other problems they at least made sure the new heirs lived!

You didn’t even know if the kid had any cursed energy or could even see anything! This was an occupational hazard, not only for the kid but for the two of you!

Scenarios of the horrors you could face because of this made your body buzz and shake, what the hell is Satoru thinking..

—

It was dark, the night had fallen upon the now quiet city. Only a few drunks and night shift workers stumbled around.. even with the quiet, a buzzing in your ear persisted. The buzz of having to confront your boyfriend about bringing a child home without your consent.

It was a confident guess that the kid had no one else, maybe Satoru had become a saviour of sorts.. the surprise was still unforgivable.

It was dangerous.

The two of you were dangerous.

The kid deserves a safe place to grow. A stable family, not two teen dads.

And definitely not a single teen dad, if that’s what it came to.

If he didn’t have a sound explanation and plan, you weren’t going to stick around to see them fall into the depths of whatever hell awaited.

—

The door to your apartment felt like a doomed closet door, one a kid would be afraid held monsters inside. An emanating aura that only you’d fabricated oozed from it.. the cold steel on your hand causing a pulsing shiver down your spine as you turned it.

The lights were off, your apartment filled with a voiced darkness and silence.. quietly, you shut the door behind you and locked it.

It felt like you were intruding, a stranger in your home. There was no greeting, no bouncing white haired man to smile at you coming home.

“Satoru?”

A light quickly turned on, Satoru popping out of your shared bedroom in his sleep clothes. Before he could pounce on you with a typical hug, you stopped his arms and pinned them to his sides; inspecting him closely

“Is it asleep?”

“It?”

“The kid Satoru. Is it asleep?”

His lip curled in disapproval at the use of ‘it’ for a kid.

“His name is Megumi.”

“I don’t need to know it’s name.”

“He’s staying here, learn his name and stop calling him an ‘it’!”

The twisting of a scowl played on your face, letting go of him you asked once again

“Is the kid asleep?”

“Yeah, he’s been out for at least an hour.”

“Good. We need to talk.”

With a weak grip, you grabbed his wrist and led him into the bedroom once again, being sure to close the door behind you and sitting on the bed.

“Why? Why would you do this?”

He looked at you, an ignorant aura playing off him as he tilted his head.

“Do what?”

“Don’t play stupid with me Satoru, why the hell would you bring a kid home?! What are you thinking?!”

You tried not to yell, with the exasperated tone you took your voice crackled. Satoru looked at you, you held your head in your hands and he could see how you pulled at the hairs that laid themselves in your fingers.

“He had no one, he was going to be sold off to the Zen’in clan.. he was entrusted to me. I got it all figured out. Don’t worry..”

He tried to touch you, pry your hands from ripping out your hair.

“And why did you have to be the someone to take him? Don’t you understand the gravity of this situation?!”

“Yes, I do!”

With a quick swift move, you were on your feet and in your boyfriends face- an accusatory finger jabbing into his chest

“What exactly is the plan, Satoru? Huh? What is this grand plan of yours that has you so confident?”

Through gritted teeth, you waited. Waited for the grand plan and scheme the white haired man had thought up- you couldnt think of anything worthwhile in terms of the child, there were no benefits to this situation. None that you could see, even for yourself, and definitely not for the kid alone.

Why didn’t he let the kid be sold off? Why didn’t he take the kid to an orphanage, a safe haven, hell why didn’t he just surrender the kid?! He could’ve brought it anywhere, but he brought the kid here!

Surely there were better options than to take up parenting a kid. You weren’t there, you wouldn’t know, but the bottom line was that it was irresponsible and unsafe.

“He’s going to train and become a sorcerer. I’ll take him under my wing.”

The kid.. would be a sorcerer? Why? Why the hell would he sign off a kids life? He and you didn’t get a choice in the matter of becoming sorcerers, most of the people you knew didn’t have a choice either.

He, on his own cognizance, took it into his own hands to force a child into this. The kid could’ve been given a normal, safe, cozy life if he had been surrendered. Your heart was beating out of your chest.

This was selfish.

Did he want to play a grand saviour? What exactly did he gain from this? Good-will can only go so far, you can want the best for a kid that was presented with being sold off but to take them and put them in an equally, if not more, dangerous scenario was.. it was unfathomable.

“What do you mean?”

With your throat running dry, he started talking of the life long plan he had made up for the kid. He was going to take care of him not only financially but step up as a proper parental figure in the absence of his own. The idea was.. absurd in your mind.

What did the higher ups think of this?! It was clear that the funding had been allocated and discussed with them.. and they’re letting him do whatever? You knew he didn’t care what they thought and that he would go off on his own to make it work but wasn’t this negligent? It made your stomach ache, you couldn’t imagine the future and what it held anymore.

“What’s his full name?”

“Fushiguro Megumi.”

…

…

“..Toji? Toji Fushiguro? That’s his kid?! What’s wrong with you Satoru?”

You backed away from him, body shaking in anxiety. This situation was far more dangerous than you’d initially thought.

“No wonder the Zen’ins wanted him! God, don’t you think?! Have you ever thought about anyone else outside of yourself in this situation? The kid is gonna grow up fucked up, Satoru!”

He grabbed your wrist, keeping you from leaving.

“Of course I thought about others! This is the first time in forever that I’ve actually cared about a cause! This kid will do unthinkable things, I know it. He has refined cursed technique already-“

“He has a technique? He’s going to bring carnage, Satoru. This is not a good thing, not to me, no matter how you frame it. I don’t see the good in it for the kid either, surrender him. He’ll live a better life then.”

“I’m not doing that. I made promises that I can’t let up.”

“I won’t stay here, I won’t watch you open the flood gates with this. This is dangerous.”

Pulling away from him, you pulled a duffel bag out from under your bed and started packing. You didn’t need much, just enough to keep you away for atleast a week.

“You won’t.. stay?”

“No, I won’t. I didn’t sign up for this. I love you, I do. But this is.. not something I want to be involved in. Having a kids death on my hands is not on my bucket list.”

“So you think he’ll die?”

“I know he’ll die. Not everyone is born with your gifted skill set, even if he shows promise you’re only useful to him when you’re around him. Whose to say the higher ups won’t snap his neck as soon as you’re out of sight, what’s stopping the Zen’ins from coming in and taking him from you?”

Shoving a final item into your bag, you stood and slung it over your shoulder.

“This isn’t going to be a fight I’ll be at your side for. I won’t be involved.”

Satoru looked at you in shock, he didn’t expect this from you at all. He expected you to be right by his side and help him with the transition, help him with the training and care of Megumi. The fact you’d so easily made up your mind and were already leaving not even a day into him being Megumi home.. it hit him hard. His body was frozen, feeling as if he’d crumble if he moved even a step.

He could only watch as you left the room.

You shut the door behind you, and quietly you put your bag by the door.. some weird instinct called you to check on Megumi. The guest room, well you’d guess now his bedroom, light was still off and there were no sounds coming from it. You approached, quietly turning the knob and peaking into the room.. Megumi laid in the bed peacefully sleeping.. his cheek squished against the plush pillow and a faint sheen of drool on the corner of his lip.. the scene laid before you made a faint smile tingle on your lips. Sighing softly, you entered the room quietly, barely making a sound on the floor with your steps.

You stood over the child, inspecting the things he’d brought with him.. seemed like a backpack and his own little duffel bag of things.. you knew Satoru wouldn’t leave the room until morning, or until Megumi woke up. So you’d leave the kid with one thing.

Chanting quietly, your fingers crossed and intertwined as you laid a seal on the boy. A protective seal. Satoru wouldn’t be with him 24/7, it was impossible.

The seal would protect him from other curse users, since he was young enough that his cursed energy was near undetectable this would ensure that he would go unnoticed by both users and rogue curses- at this stage the seal would also grow with him and his advancements.

Changing positions, you went to the opposite side of him and laid a second seal. This was a normal seal, one a parent would put on a young or weak clan/family member to know if they are hurt or in imminent danger. It was a duly designed formation that needed two to properly seal it- you tethered the other half to Satoru. It gave you piece of mind. Even if you weren’t going to be involved, someone other than Satoru needed to be on the kids side.. and you cared. Even if you didn’t want to, you did.

Breathing out, the final string of energy expelled from you and left a faint symbol on the kids forehead. He would be protected until he was atleast 10 or so.. hopefully he will live long enough for this seal to eventually fade, maybe he’ll progress fast enough to take it off himself.. softly smiling, you got up and left the room, making sure to close the door as gently as possible before you left the apartment.

a part two? maybe?

[melrosing]

got bored made some Lannister ocs

besides Stafford we don’t have names or deaths or anything for Joanna’s other two brothers and her two sisters so since everyone else has ocs I decided I wanted some and it was free real estate ✨ names/ages/personalities under the cut

joanna lannister (247AC - 273AC) guess what i didn't actually make her up but not like we have much detail on her anyway so w/e. eldest child of Jason Lannister & Marla Prester, and just a frustratingly perfect girl (at least as far as Cerella is concerned) who always seems to get her way. has always enjoyed gossip and that becomes an interest in court and politics once she moves to KL at 10 to become one of Queen Rhaella's companions. as a child at the Rock she was best friends with Genna, but it was a complex relationship where Joanna was slightly resentful of Genna's power over her (as Tytos' daughter) and Genna was resentful of Joanna's apparent perfection, and the way she seems to wring an affection out of Tywin where he has none for his siblings. Joanna isn't exactly a mean girl but is well aware of the effect her charisma has on others, and can make you feel like shit by looking straight through you (albeit w a smile on her face) if she doesn't feel you're much worth her time.

stafford lannister (248AC - 299AC) i didn't make him up either but canon says he's a blundering idiot so we'll go w that. Stafford just had the luck to be the firstborn son of a Lannister knight, so he gets wealth and riches with little responsibility to show for it. he's thought of as a bit of a Tytos 2.0 but without his humour or heart of gold. thinks he has a fascinating life but is just rich. tells dreadfully boring stories but never seems to notice the snores. constantly landing himself in shit and waiting to be rescued. that's all there is to say about Stafford.

gerold lannister (249AC - 280AC) yay my first oc. well he's just a bit of a creep really. twin to Cerella, born first of the two. Gerold thinks he's the perfect Lannister specimen (he's more like.... weedy handsome squidward) and figures he ought to have been born in Tywin's place. but somehow he ended up the second son of a fourth son and nothing much is expected of him. he's not much good at anything and noone likes spending any time around him because he's perpetually consumed by bitterness. he's not close to his sister Cerella either, bc he seems to treat her worse than anyone, constantly talking down to her etc and mocking her crush on their cousin Tywin. in his final years, as his other siblings are growing up and moving on w their lives, Gerold remains bitter & stagnant, and no-one cares to see what's up except youngest sibling Loren, who has never been close to his brother but takes pity on him, believes maybe Gerold just likes men (specifically he suspects he likes TYWIN) and Loren is a theatre kid all his friends are gay it's fine. he decides to reach out. except Gerold isn't gay and in a confrontation between the two, Loren discovers that the true object of Gerold's affections is: their sister Cerella!!! who has already been married off to Sumner Crakehall. his secret out, Gerold kills himself shortly after, and Loren never tells anyone what he learnt but is consumed by guilt and disgust for the rest of his days.

cerella crakehall née lannister (249AC - 295AC) younger twin to gerold. Cerella has a cold demeanour but the heart of a romantic. when she was a small child she was in awe of Joanna and followed her everywhere, and Joanna likewise enjoyed Cerella's hero worship and treated her as a mini-me. however, as Joanna blossomed, Cerella felt ugly and awkward by comparison. Joanna only seemed to verify this by gradually ignoring Cerella in favour of Genna, and later in favour of her friends at court it KL. Joanna seems to get everything she wants before she can think to ask for it, whereas people seem to forget Cerella is in the room. and the one thing Cerella has always wanted is Tywin: she thinks they're entirely alike, and she's even modelled herself on him in hope that one day they would make a perfect match. except Joanna gets Tywin too: she has his attention without even seeming to ask for it, and takes him because she can. Cerella thinks she might have got her comeuppance when Jo is sent home from court, after Aerys affections for her become a little too heated. Tywin won't want her now. except he does, and they're betrothed not long after. Cerella, despondent, doesn't argue when she's married off to Lannister bannerman Sumner Crakehall (his second wife), and never returns to the Rock thereafter. she notices Joanna's son training in the yard at Crakehall but wants nothing to do with him; Jaime Lannister will wonder why in all those years his mother's sister never deigns to speak to him.

rowena cary née lannister (255AC - present) her father's favourite (though he dies before she turns six), Rowena looks the spit of her grandmother Rohanne Webber. Jason never knew his mother, and so has highly idealised notions of her (whilst the rest of the Lannisters loathe her for leaving without a trace). he likes the idea that Rowena is Rohanne born again, but wouldn't get away with naming her Rohanne - so names her an approximation. and she's just a fuckin disney princess lol. extremely amiable, not a girl of any great talents but does her best to please everyone. she never sees much of her eldest siblings, who are at court or squiring by the time she's old enough to engage with them, and the twins pay her no particular attention, but the adults around her love indulging her, and she's close to her younger brother Loren. there are no great expectations of Rowena, so despite many great westermen begging her hand, she marries for love to a wealthy merchant of Lannisport. sadly, they're unable to have the children they long for, but enjoy entertaining at their Lannisport manse, and enjoy welcoming nieces and nephews into their home (Tyrion is a regular visitor uwu). w her red hair, people tend to forget she's a Lannister at all, and so does she tbh.

loren lannister (257AC - 297AC) born in what many thought were finally past Marla's childbearing years, Loren is the youngest of Jason's brood. there are no great expectations of Loren, and Loren has none of himself - but in some ways he ends up being the most successful of the bunch, besides Joanna. he likes writing plays, acting in his own plays, and generally getting merry with the folk of Lannisport. the Lannisters of the Rock tend to forget Loren exists because he's seldom there, always in the city instead - till he moves out of the Rock entirely with little fanfare, and uses his inheritance to build a theatre in the middle of town. his plays do well and he's popular with the people, but very much a rich kid cosplaying poor lol. he never marries but has affairs w men and women, and when he hears of a bastard that might be his he throws a load of money their way without checking to see if it's true. Loren enjoys attention and pays close attention to others in turn, but is largely estranged from the Lannisters besides Rowena. after trying and failing to help his estranged brother Gerold, Loren falls into something of a depression for a time, doubting himself and all his instincts - his estrangement from the rest of his family becomes much more definitive as a result. anyway after a fairly prolific career Loren falls from some theatre scaffolding to his death at 40 years old, to the misery of Lannisport and the faint bemusement of the Rock

[whyoneartheven]

What head canons do you have for the LU boys? (Yes, this is a request for you to ramble about them)

aaaahhh hello! Thanks for asking, but wow, goodness me

this will take some thinking XD

umm

ok a lot of these are a lil generic or just other people’s ideas I kinda adopted but here goes!

also I didn’t expect it when I started but this got long…

for Legend, I really like the idea of him drinking tea and still having an apple orchard. And also having honey bees! (These aren’t mine originally lol) Also I feel like post LU (this ofc may change depending on the ending) he fell into depression a little bit before digging himself out with Ravio and Zelda’s help… he cut his hair during this time. idk I just feel like that would happen. I like the idea of him having a good singing voice. (merperson stuff but also even beforehand. He definitely sang lovely duets with Marin once she taught him how) Also I feel like he’s one of those people that’s always cold! So he secretly likes to cuddle :)

with Wild, I feel like… he definitely doesn’t use recipes! This is based off how I am in his game and irl, as I just throw things together and never go back to see how I made things before, but also I feel like it just fits his personality! I think it would be hilarious if he named his horses at first after anything that had an impact on him so like, one horse is named Zelda and another is Stir Fry. Or smth XDDD Also based on my experiences in game (to an extent), I feel like he doesn’t actually care about legitimately looking fashionable… it’s more that he likes wearing things that looks crazy XD

on to Hyrule! Ok this isn’t as much a headcanon as a ship but I really ship him and Aurora; I feel like they’d be absolutely adorable together but he’s really private about it! I like to think Hyrule can sew? And I think he’d love to run around barefoot on fresh grass! And just, be in love with nature in general! And maybe he doesn’t have an eye for color; he can’t tell if colors clash or actually match. Also is it just me or does he feel like out of the entire chain he could easily be a Studio Ghibli protagonist? Just me? Idk lol

Time! I like the idea of Time and Malon having a running joke that the other is color blind, and the chain eventually picks it up! And then Time keeps mistaking one color for another (on purpose or not? We’ll never know), and every time the others go wild XD (this may or may not be based on a joke my parents have irl hehe). When Time first met Malon he was very very lactose intolerant. And drank it anyway, of course! also I feel like Time really likes flowers? Idk why! And finally, if Time was in the modern world he’d be the guy who’d be eating food months to years past the expiration date…

Four, my beloved! Umm this is kinda a design idea more than anything but I like the idea of him growing his hair out and wearing it in a ponytail post LU! (provided he doesn’t die…) I don’t think of him as having voices in his head or being a system but I still like the idea of him talking to himself sometimes XD! Also this is just something canon I don’t see talked abt a lot but I love he and Twi’s relationship sm! Four totally has RBF and definitely stares at people accidentally when he’s thinking… also I saw a crack fic somewhere where Four was already married to Dot and had children and the chain were shocked; it was hilarious, and while I don’t think he would actually have kids yet, I think it’d be hilarious if he and his Zelda are already quite far along in their relationship (as I ship them lol)

the man, the myth, the legend, WIND, is next! This man has Opinions. I feel like he’s the kind of person so have opinions on things he’s only heard of two seconds before, like automatically deciding he will like a food or deciding the other way round. (And yeahhhh I’m basing him on my brother lol) I’m definitely not the one to come up with this but Wind is probably the one with the best (and most opinionated) fashion sense (most of the others are just hopeless in varying degrees so it isn’t hard)! Maybe older him bonded with young Wars in the War of Eras over this (bc I love the idea of older wind being there), Idk XD! Also he definitely braids Aryll’s hair and is generally very responsible (I mean he’s a big brother he’s gotta be XD); he starts off almost treating LU as a bit of a vacation! Nothing will go wrong, his family is safe, and he gets new friends :D

Warriors, the wonderful man, is next! I feel like he’s very nostalgic and a little sappy. Like, just in general. He likes to look back on his happy memories! Also (once again not my idea) but I like the idea of Warriors growing up either orphaned or really poor, and living in the less palatable portion of Castle Town. (Therefore he played pickup soccer as a kid; he just feels like he would lol) I definitely ship him and his Zelda (ok tbh I ship ALL the Links with their Zeldas lol). I feel like at the point of LU they’ve talked abt it but Warriors isn’t ready (thanks to Cia and maybe just all the barriers in his mind about being inferior to her or smth) Also, give this man the craziest accent you can find and I am here for it; whoever first came up with that is a genius. Ok yeah you can probably tell I love Warriors angst

XD Sky!!! My bestieeee!! If Sky was in modern times he’d be one of those people who gets sleepy when they drink coffee, fs! He is definitely the artistic one, and maybe during LU he discovers a bunch of mediums besides woodworking that he loves (and maybe he makes a bunch of art for Sun, who knows!) This next one is based off @margindoodles2407’s Forger from her loz AU but the idea that his parents died in a house fire and he lived with Gaepora and Zelda until he was older is so cool to me! And bc of this I feel like he’d really hate being around fire (to the point of panic attacks? Maybe, maybe not). Finally, hopeless bird lover Sky is a beautiful thing. As a bird watcher myself, I cannot blame him.

Last but not least is Twilight!! This guy totally holds conversations with animals all the time and it freaks people out (they can never tell if he actually understands them)! Twi definitely has a lot of respect for kids too and talks to them like they’re adults (by using the same vocabulary and tone, not by talking about things that aren’t good for kids to hear XD) and I feel like he would write painfully cheesy love poems? Twi definitely can’t cook but I feel l Ike he also cares the most about food? Idk? ALSO LET THIS MAN QUILT. IDK I THINK HE’D BE TERRIBLE AT IT BUT STILL TRY AND IT WOULD BE FUNNY

ok, and that’s it!!! Wow, that was a lot…

and I could definitely come up with more lol

[lotus222]

Okay.

I only meant to make one SJM post cause Ik how certain girls like to tussle

But since the gwynriels and elucians decided to mess w me EVEN THO I SAID TO LOOK AWAY IF YOU GET EASILY TRIGGERED…

There is only one thing to do:

Talk more about why Elriel is not based in delusion — unlike some ships (not naming names, if you take offense that’s your mind questioning things)

Again, I am giving my PERSONAL OPINION. I even said at the end of my last post that I am not the author and I will love & respect whatever SJM does, which some of y’all can’t echo. That’s sad. This is a fictional world.

DISCLAIMER: if you’re easily triggered by elriel/elucian/gwynriel…l o o k a w a y

DISCLAIMER#2: I am unapologetic cause this is my page :)

Also, stop hitting my line with the “I wasn’t going to respond to this but…” or “you’re so anti…” like 1, if you weren’t going to respond, then don’t. It’s not that serious where the world is BEGGING for your opinion. And 2, I’m not anti anything, I’m pro-logic, again if that offends you then that’s a convo for you and you not you and me.

Now onto the main event…

Azriel

My mans is being dragged through the mud both in the books and online. We say we “love him” but are ignoring what he wants and babes, that’s Elain. If you don’t like her personally, that’s not how Az is feeling, that’s how YOURE feeling. Gwyn has one chapter (+1 sentence) of where I can even attempt to grasp at what Gwynriel’s quote as bible, but again, AZ AND ELAIN HAVE 3 BOOKS. Y’all are acting like Rhys in Az’s bonus chapter and if Rhys couldn’t make his stance acceptable, y’all definitely can’t.

Elain

Again, I say, if you do not like the lady pictured above, stop reading ACOTAR cause she ain’t going anywhere. To be so for real, I didn’t mind Elain at first, meaning I didn’t care whether or not she was included in any story whatsoever. But as I read ACOWAR and ACOFAS, I started realizing that there’s something so lovely about having a character who is innately good and wants/practices peace in a world of animosity and ugliness. She brings beauty in all areas of her life and I think that there’s nothing bad about being “boring” cause that just means your life ain’t a dang mess (*cough* *cough* everybody else in this book)

So here is where I debunk all the claims I have grown tired of ignoring:

• #1 - “He hadn’t gotten that far into his planning beyond the fantasies he’s pleasured himself to.”

(Picture credit: unknown) Get a good look cause that’s what he’s doing at night when he thinks about ELAIN. (It’s canon, so cry to yourself)

So, y’all really think you got us here, huh? So, my man Azriel blatantly admits to thinking of Elain when he wants to be intimate and y’all STILL want your girl to be with this man?

Ugh

Anyway, so Azriel hadn’t planned a relationship with Elain…OKAY???? Did you expect this man to have a map laid out about how he’s going to steal Lucien’s mate??? Do y’all even know Azriel? Like, be so for real rn.

Idk about y’all but when I have a crush on someone, I’m not thinking about how to steal them from the rest of the world, I’m imagining kissing them or going on cute dates. Not how I’ll actually make it happen. And ik y’all do that too with your favorite celebrities so stop playing.

He has a crush. Can you let the man figure out if Elain even wants him to act on it before he plans a 12-step mission on making Lucien disappear forever?

Azriel doesn’t want to force his emotions on anyone (as seen with Mor) so of course he’s not going to act or plot without confirmation that the other person in the party wants that. I.E. why he hadnt tried anything with Mor in all the CENTURIES that he liked her.

So, yeah, consider that point invalid.

• #2 - Lucien is Elain’s mate

(PC: @shauna_the_author) *sigh* This one cannot be dubunked, unfortunately, because it is true. You got me here.

BUT

Elain is more likely to marry Nuala and Cerridwen before she spends the rest of her life with Lucien.

And it has nothing to do with Lucien. It really, really doesn’t. Elain simply doesn’t like him. Y’all were in my comments like “oh he didn’t really sell out Elain and Nesta, he didn’t know”. OKAY. But Elain literally says in ACOWAR that she knows Lucien as two things: Feyre’s friend and the MAN WHO SOLD THEM OUT TO HYBERN

Who cares if it isn’t true, that’s what Elain thinks and with her in mind, you can’t say that this bond means anything more to her than Lucien having some ownership of her which she doesn’t like at all. She even tells Graysen that she doesn’t care Lucien is her mate (“I belong to no one, but my heart belongs to you.”)

Whereas with Azriel, my girl is practically skipping into his arms; talking with him about her dream garden, getting him not one but two solstice gifts, almost-kissing him, recoiling at Cassian’s dagger but actively using Azriel’s…

Idk about y’all but if someone who was fated to be with me was acting this way with another girl, I’d drop him like a hot potatoe. AND AS LUCIEN SHOULD. He deserves someone who wants him, not someone who, as even Lucien said in ACOWAR when he was questioning if Elain was “worth it”, is shackled to him.

I harbor no ill will toward this dreamy man, but it ain’t gonna happen so do Elain a favor and lose her number, k?

• #3 - Sarah wouldn’t do the 3 brothers with 3 sisters, it’s too cliche

Write your own book then. Fan fiction is a thing. If the ONLY thing preventing you to see reason is the possibility of a cliche in a book about kingdoms and fairies and magic then your priorities are so out of shape I won’t even spend the time explaining it to you.

This is SARAH’s WORLD. If she wants to be cliche and have the three female protagonists end up with the three male protagonists then let her. Omg.

• #4 - That Gwynriel scene tho

(NOTE THE PICTURE) Oh, you mean the bonus chapter that featured thoughts about Elain? Not that one? Oh, then maybe you mean the other bonus chapter that featured thoughts about Elain? No? You mean the scene with Gwyn…hmmm

OH! You mean the 2 page conversation about training and why he couldn’t sleep (cause of Elain) and the subsequent regift of Elain’s present to Gwyn. Yeah, I know about that but why are we talking about it? Cause that means Az likes Gwyn? Huh?

That’s how delulu y’all sound. And if I hear another “you’re the ribbon Az”, one more time I’ll scream. THE RIBBON WAS ABOUT TRAINING NOT GWYN WANTING TO SLEEP WITH THE MAN. We are talking about the same girl who hadn’t left a library in god knows how long because of a sexual trauma and y’all are forcing her onto another man??

Gwyn was focused on coming into herself and mastering the ways of the Valkyrie. Nesta meant Gwyn found another obstacle in Az that she would have to overcome to become a Valkyrie. The only man Gwyn was concerned about was Cassian and that’s cause he was getting it on with Nesta. Again, be so for real right now.

I refuse to acknowledge this point until the opposing ships acknowledge the 3 books (+ ACOFAS) of build up between Elain and Azriel.

• #5 - Elain doesn’t belong in the Night Court

This is the last point I’ll mention cause I actually feel bad for dogging the Gwynriels like this, but it had to be done. (Elucians get a pass bc at least their ship is based in evidence)

Elain doesn’t belong in the Night Court, okay, yeah Cassian said that the colors drown her out, I’ll give you that.

But Elain doesn’t know where she belongs anymore, just like Azriel has said about himself. She’s still figuring herself out and what she wants, so it’s okay she looks odd at times or feels at times out of place. Azriel keeps his shadows out 24/7 for the same reason. He doesn’t let anyone past the front he puts on unless he knows it’s safe to. They’re both figuring out how to live their best lives in their current lives.

I’ve heard Dusk Court theories and others but I won’t even repeat those (even tho they’re so good and you should definitely look into them). They just need to find their place in this world (and Cassian was right, Elain DOES NOT BELONG in the Hewn City).

Just like how Nesta didn’t believe she belonged in the Inner Circle, I believe there’s a place for Elain and Azriel where they can be themselves. They just need to find it I.E. their book.

-

Okay, that’s enough slaying of my enemies for one post. Again, this is just my opinion/theories and at the end of the day I’ll be happy with whatever Mrs. Maas gives us as long as she gives us something.

Act correctly or else I’ll be back.

[legitalicat]

Out of Time

Chapter 7 - "Letters of Life and Love"

AN: Sorry for the long wait, lots of stuff going on in the personal. Also I may update the picture now that we have a new hairstyle for Jace lolol

If you love this header go check out zaldritzosrose for more amazing work! She is tagged on the series masterlist and on my welcome post!

Find the series masterlist here!

Summary: Tales of the past can help shape the future.

TW: blatant talks of past self harm, canon typical incest, Jace being tooth rotteningly sweet, talks of basically everyone being in love with everyone

Relationships: Jacaerys Velaryon x Twin!Reader, talks of just about every other ship imaginable in this story

Word Count: 3.8k

Aemond did not take it any further as we flew on Vhaela. He told me it was so that I could focus on flying, since it had been so long. Whether that was the truth, I wasn’t sure but I wasn’t entirely convinced. Yet, I didn’t particularly care.

Soaring through the skies on Vhaela’s back was perfect. The chill in the air stung against the skin of my face. The supple leather of the saddle she wore rubbed against my inner thighs. We passed birds who moved out of the way in perfect time with our approach. Today was the day I was meant to take to the skies.

I truly believed that the gods, whether they be the old or the new, made certain moments perfect. There had just been too many moments in my life that were so good there were no other explanations. This flight on Vhaela, the first time I flew on her, the first time I slept with Aemond, and the night I lost my maidenhead to Jace. How could I expect that much good to come from anything but divine intervention?

Aemond accompanied me the rest of the week so that I may fly, though he did choose to fly on Vhagar. We never went far, never past Felwood to the south or Duskendale to the north. Though in my bones I longed for more. I don’t imagine I would ever fly enough to be satisfied. In the sky I was free. Free from obligation and duty, free from the pains of my soul.

Free from the wretchedness that is Mother preparing me for this feast.

It felt as though I should’ve never agreed to it to begin with. I didn’t want every Lord in the seven kingdoms ogling me once again. Especially if word got out that my betrothal to Jace was no longer official. Men would see me as an opportunity to get close to the throne, maybe even have their children sit it one day. The thought disgusted me.

��Daemon, Rhaena, and Baela have returned from Driftmark. Your sisters are very anxious to see you,” Mother told me as she braided my hair. We were in her chambers, the door being propped open once we were dressed to allow a breeze. Today was warmer than usual.

I watched her reflection in the mirror as she moved. Sometimes I wondered if she thought of me as a doll. That is not to say anything against her parenting or the care she has given me, but it does cross my mind. She took every opportunity to dress me and fix my hair until I was perfect. Or as perfect as I could be.

“Step sisters,” I corrected her.

Rhaena and Baela may view my brothers as theirs but they made sure that I understood I was not their sister. Mother and Daemon always assumed part of it was Baela having a crush on Jace and Rhaena’s loyalty to her twin. I tried to offer to her that she could marry him and become Queen one day, begging with her that I would give anything to be their sister. But it was never about Jace.

Rhaena had been too kind and timid to say it to my face but Baela never had any problems with such. It was all about Vhagar and the role I played in Aemond claiming her. They claimed I showed no loyalty. That we were cousins and I should’ve convinced Aemond to allow Rhaena the chance to claim her first. They never listened to me when I told them he would’ve done it whether I was there or not. And they also never took into account I did not know them at that point. Yes, we were cousins, but they grew up far from King’s Landing. I grew up with Aemond at my side. Was he not owed my loyalty more?

“You are all women grown now,” she told me. “Surely you can move past this.”

“Mother I love the way you love your children, Baela and Rhaena included, but you need to realize a lot of us are far more capable than you think,” I said so firmly her hands took pause. “They are not the victims in anything, not more than I or Aemond. Yes, Rhaena did not have a dragon as a child but neither did Aemond until he claim Vhagar, and I waited longer. Yes, Baela and Rhaena lost their mother as children, but the four of us lost both men who could count as our father and I wasn’t even allowed to mourn. Rhaena and Baela started the fight that night on Driftmark because of their entitlement and Aemond lost his eye. The three of us did not get along during our girlhoods but not because of anything that I could help.”

“Darling,” she whispered. Her hands continued their motions, finishing the intricate braid.

“I offered Baela to take my place, did she ever tell you that? I thought if it was about Jace and her then I could deal with not marrying him so I could have sisters. It was never about that, it was about me telling the truth of Aemond losing his eye,” I told her. Tears started stinging my eyes as I spoke about things I swore I would never admit bothered me.

My entire life I always felt I had to be perfect. The perfect princess who would be the perfect queen. This kept me from having many emotional outbursts. The closest I ever got to crying in front of others was when tears forced themselves into existence as they did now. My pain was my own and I did not need others to experience it.

Jace always called it unhealthy. He said one day I would explode with the years of feelings I kept inside. I had always thought he was full of shit until I began to realize that physically harming myself made the pain in my chest ease. When I made a fist so tightly that my fingernails became so deeply embedded in my palms I started to draw blood, I was concerned at first. Until I realized I felt better. I referred to it as my pressure relief.

It became a growing concern. Jace caught me taking a knife to my thigh once when he had come to question why I was avoiding him. He was appalled at what I was doing. I tried to explain it was nothing bad, that I was merely caring for myself. He did not see it that way. He held me that night late into the night.

That was the night I gave him my maidenhead. I wasn’t sure you could fix someone by loving them hard enough. But gods, that night he tried. Looking back, it was awkward and clumsy, neither of us really knowing what to do. We were fifteen, nowhere near marriage, and Jace had always said I would be his first, so neither of us had any experience or had been taught anything. Though, I would not change anything about it. Thinking about it made me miss him more than I had the entirety of these last few weeks.

“You always stand up for every other child yet you do not stand up for the ones who need it most. I do not know if it is because you think I am strong enough to handle it, but I need you to come to my defense too. Not allow Jace to punish me in the ways he always does whenever I have displeased him. Not assume I can handle Baela and Rhaena isolating me for doing what was right,” I whispered, blinking rapidly to get the tears to go away. “Does Daemon know how close Alicent and you are?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

Her jaw clenched for a split second. If I were not looking for any sign that I may be right, I would miss it. With that simple little movement, I knew that even if she denied it to me, I was right.

But then she eased and smirked at me. “You assume he is not involved?” she asked.

My eyes widened. That was enough asking questions for now.

“Aemond has asked I do not announce that your betrothal to Jacaerys is on pause,” she told me after a few moments of silence. I must have had a confused look on my face because she chuckled and then continued. “He says if other lords know, they will try something idiotic.”

“Smart man, he is,” I whispered. “But they will know something is going on when Jace ignores me as he has done for weeks now.”

“It was not my intention to ignore you, my sun,” Jace’s voice sounded in my ears. I turned to my left and saw him standing in the open door way. “Did nobody tell you? I got pulled away to Dragonstone and have only just returned an hour ago.”

“I think I would know if you had gone to Dragonstone,” Mother said before I had the chance to respond.

The more I thought, the more I believed that Jace had not been here. I had been at breakfast and dinner before anyone else and he had not been there. Whenever I sent someone to get him, they merely said they could not find him. Mother and I were so used to Jace being rather dramatic when his feelings were hurt, so his avoidance of anything to do with me had not come with questions. I was merely used to it.

He sighed rather loudly, an exasperated type of sigh. It sounded like an old man whose grandchildren were irking him and trying to get him to tell him stories of war. Perhaps he had grown.

“Then it is my fault for entrusting Joffrey to tell you both. He was there when I got the letter. I would have told you myself but the matter was urgent,” he said, walking over to us.

Mother had just finished pinning the braid. She had wrapped it around itself on the back of my head. It was a hairstyle her mother did for her before she had died, in fact doing it the morning of her death. She learned to do it and wore her hair this way the day she was named heir. It felt special

When I stood from my seat to face him, I noticed his jaw drop a bit. He looked me up and down many times over. When Alicent brought this dress to me this morning, I was a bit skeptical. It was a very fancy dress made of black silk and decorated with blood red rubies. It had a matching black silk cape that fastened around my neck, leaving only the area just above my cleavage visible. I wore earrings made of silver and a jewel called green tourmaline, a beautiful green with secondary tones of blue. It was, apparently, the closest one could get to a Velaryon House colored stone. I wore black shoes that bared the top of my feet, giving the style of my bed slippers but more durable. The outfit was modest, not showing enough skin to be considered indecent, but yet the fabric clung to my every curve in a way that felt completely indecent.

“You are so beautiful,” he said quietly.

“I feel a bit like a ham stuffed in a stocking,” I whispered, biting her lip.

“You are not a ham,” he said before offering a smile.

He was in a rather lovely outfit himself. His shirt was made of matching black silk, though it did not cling to him in such a way. It was fitted, giving him shape but hiding the further intricacies of his body. He was wearing fitted pants as well, making me blush a bit at how amazing his body looked in them.

“So what business did you attend in Dragonstone?” I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“Sheepstealer was causing more trouble than usual,” he told the both of us. “As Prince of Dragonstone, the concerns of that island are mine own.”

Before Mother could say anything, I hugged him tightly. “Next time come get me yourself. If I am to be your Queen I need to be involved with your matters,” I said instinctually.

It occurred to me after I said it that I may not end up as his Queen. The possibility of that had never been present in my mind. It was always our plan in life that we would rule side by side, never one without the other. Any other reality made me ache.

My heart ached and it felt ridiculous. I am stuck choosing between two men that I love with everything in me. If I wanted to be really technical, I have three choices, though I could not name how I feel about Aegon. They love me the same. How silly it felt of me to be saddened by either possibility when no matter what I would love happily.

“I apologize, my sun,” he said quietly, hugging me to him just as tightly. “You are right, of course. I cannot hope to be a good King if I do not consider my Queen’s words on every decision.”

My heart fluttered against my chest. He still considered our marriage an inevitability, not just a possibility. He still thought of us being married and ruling together.

“Allow me to stay with you until it is time for your entrance?” he asked me. I nodded eagerly.

Mother looked between the two of us. Her gaze settled on me, her eyes searching my face. I gave her a subtle nod. She needed to know I had to be with him.

When she left the room, the doors still wide open behind her, I leaned into Jace’s arms. The world felt calm when he held me. The universe knew, somehow, that he was who I needed as my twin. He and I were balanced perfectly.

“You truly thought I was ignoring you?” he asked once I pulled away.

I looked down at the ground for a moment before looking back to him. He was looking at my with sad eyes. It hurt my heart to see him look like that.

“Yes. I thought you were upset enough that you were punishing me,” I told him.

He nodded and took my hand in his. “I’m sorry. Both for making you think that, and for what happened that night. It was not my place to act in such a way.”

“In truth, I think it is more your place than Aemond’s,” I admitted to him. I sighed quietly then looked to him. “You had a point. You are my twin, who I am formally betrothed to.”

He smiled at me. His smile was beautiful in a way that one had to see to understand. If you could imagine the way the prettiest sunrise makes you feel, that is how his smile makes me feel.

“You know, I like that you’ve grown your hair out. It’s quite curly, and you look amazing,” I told him. That simple of a compliment was enough to make him blush.

Jace and I felt so different than Aemond and I felt. With him there were no games. No constant battle for control. Our love for each other was simple and pure, uncaring of who was in control. I longed for the days when he was the only one who held a piece of me. It was so much simpler then.

“You always used to beg for me to grow it out,” he said with a smile on his face.

“And I was not wrong to,” I told him, smirking at him. “You look handsome. Classical. Like the prince from a fairytale.”

He reached his hand out towards me. I took it immediately, our fingers intertwining. He had somewhat of a sad smile on his face even though his eyes were sparkling like they normally did.

“It was never about us, was it?” he asked me. I couldn’t help the confusion that crossed my face at his question. “I mean…you are able to be complete with all of us, yes? Me, Aemond, even Aegon. The different sides of you that we all see, that is what makes you whole, and so it was never about one of us being better than another, but it was all about you feeling completed.”

As he spoke, he squeezed my hand. My throat felt as though it was beginning to close. All I could do was nod. I had no argument, no further explanation for him.

When Jace pulled me to sit on his lap, I could feel tears begin to prick at my eyes. The way he was so adamant about holding me close scared me. It almost felt like he was about to tell me he was done, that he didn’t want me anymore.

“I wish I could be the only one you need,” he said softly, placing his hand on my cheek. “I could never make you unhappy, issa dāria, and I thought giving you the time to find which you wanted would be the way to make you happy. But I realized something.”

“If this is your way of explaining to me you do not wish to marry me anymore, please just say it outright. This feels more cruel,” I whispered, letting out a shaky breath.

He shook his head softly. “Not at all. I could never love anyone else. I merely want to say that I have realized you have told me what would make you happy since we were children, and I was too selfish to ever consider it.”

My brain tried to understand what he was saying, to really grasp his meaning. But I could feel my heart banging against my chest as though it could already sense his next words. There was no way he was actually about to say it, was there?

“If marrying both Aemond and I is what will make you happy, I will no longer fight against it. I do not know how everything will work, I do not know how Aegon will fit into it, but I know that I love you and you love me. In the end, that is all that matters to me,” he told me, wiping away a tear that I had not been aware escaped my eye.

My entire life I had been begging for this. My entire life I knew that I was always meant to be with them, that my fate intertwined with theirs. I had convinced myself it was selfish and impossible.

I looked everywhere along his face, trying to find any uncertainty or reluctance. Yet, no matter how desperately I searched, there was none. He spoke the truth and his mind was made up.

“I imagine you already have thoughts as to how you wish it to work,” I whispered. He smiled at me and leaned forward to give me a gentle, albeit brief, kiss.

“Ideally we wait for certain things. You and I marry and give ourselves a couple of years so that we can have a child without question. I will not try to stop you from being with either of them in that time, I merely hope you will respect me enough to take precautions. Then after a couple of years, you and Aemond marry in the Valyrian tradition. Everything else I figure we will take it as it comes,” he said softly, running his thumb over my cheek again and again.

“And you truly love me enough for this?” I asked him. If there was any part of him that had any doubts, I could not ask him to do this.

“When I was in Dragonstone, I found letters. Many more than I ever thought had been shared, and in truth I should not have read any of them. But they were letters that Mother had received from Daemon, from our Aunt Laena, from our fathers, even from Alicent. All of these letters were discussing life and love in ways I had never thought of such,” he told me.

I placed my hand on the one of his that rested on my cheek. Simultaneously, I was pulling him further into me while holding him. He did not need to say anything else about them.

While I had not seen any from Alicent, I did once find nearly a box stuffed with letters. It was hard to piece together everything without Mother’s words, but I had an idea. Letters from Daemon and Laena talking about longing for Mother’s company, how they should have always been raising us and Rhaena and Baela together from the start. Letters from Ser Harwin, which I am almost certain he would hide for her to find instead of them being sent with a raven, describing her beauty and how she glowed when she was pregnant, thanking her for giving him such blessings. Ser Laenor’s were always phrased as though he was talking to his dearest friend, describing to her the beauty of the sea on the few trips out he went on after their marriage.

I could not honestly say I understood all the implications of them when I first read them. If I were being honest, they confused me more than told me anything. But when I thought back on them, I felt similarly to Jace. They teach more about love than most are willing to openly admit. That love does not always mean you find one person and that was it, after that person you were doomed to be alone.

“And your plans for you?” I asked him. I needed to know. If for no other reason, than if I felt too strongly about him talking about being with someone else, I couldn’t take him up on this. It had to be fair.

“I told you, I will never love anyone else,” he told me with a firmness that I had never heard from him. It was very Kingly of him. “I was not with anyone while you were away, but not because I never tried. After a couple of years, I tried. I tried to find love, I tried to find someone that could make the pain of losing you manageable. But after every person I met, I came to my chambers alone, still praying to every god imaginable you would be returned. I never even got so much as a kiss because any person I spoke with just made me ache more for you.”

“My darling, I never thought it could be so difficult for you,” I whispered. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

He kissed me softly. It truly was the best way to shut me up. And this kiss felt so good. It was like it was the beginning of everything.

[chevelleneech]

Someone made a joke on Twitter about T proposing to Buck, to rile up BT shippers, and don’t hate me, but I genuinely think that wouldn’t be the worst storyline to give Buck this season.

Objectively, BT has gone nowhere. They have no romance, no fun, no nothing, but the show is also trying to convince viewers T is good for Buck. They’re not having any other characters really even question his relationship or ask him about it, it’s just a fact of canon, so to me, a proposal would be a huge way to force the show to discuss it.

Do I think it’d make sense for Buck to get married to him? No, obviously not, but what else are they doing? Nothing. They won’t even develop them romantically, so I’m all for them giving us something. Anything. A proposal is anything. It means Maddie would have to talk to Buck about it, since as far as we know the only time she met T was at her wedding, where only family and close friends should have been. Next is Bobby, who during his suicidal stint was claiming T is good for Buck, despite having never seen them interact for real nor having heard Buck talk about him.

They’d all have to actually have conversations with Buck and ask him if he’s sure, why he’s sure, when they got to that point, and so on. Which of course would require the writers to either finally add some development or actually look at what they’ve written them far and have Buck realize he doesn’t have any feelings toward T and is simply going along with it because he is tired of being broken up with and feeling like he can’t commit in a relationship.

All Buck wants is to feel loved and chosen, and what better way to do that than to have the first man he ever dates propose, after a near death experience, even when both of them know they don’t want it? Hell, it’s even add some depth to T, because they can write him as proposing solely because he’s older than Buck and wants to settle down, and chose Buck because Buck is nice and handsome. They don’t even gotta make it anything nefarious. Just two guys who both want to be with someone, making a mistake of convincing themselves they want to get married to each other because they don’t think they’ll find anyone else. That’s it. But of course they call it off, because again… they’ve had zero romantic development whatsoever, so it’d be ridiculous to have them randomly ready for marriage. They breakup, go their separate ways, and that’s that.

Again however, this is a plot too in depth for Buck, because the show hates putting in the work to develop his relationships and self-worth, and have him confront his own issues.

They wrote Abby as the bad person for leading Buck on to end their relationship. (Which is fine. She was his first serious relationship, but age and life got in the way, and that made sense.) Ally couldn’t handle his job, making it seem like she was the problem, thus they ended. (Again, nothing inherently wrong here, but they still put the blame on the woman for having a boundary for Buck’s lack of love.) He cheated on Taylor, but they wrote her as being too uncompromising in order to end that relationship. (Not great. Buck is also uncompromising despite his lack of self-worth, so having this be their end instead of Buck’s infidelity and lie and underhanded controlling actions of letting her move in despite knowing he cheated on her, was wrong.) Then he broke up with Natalia, and they wrote it as being because she only cared about him having died. Even though he knew she had an above average interest in death to begin with.

So yeah, I think writing Buck into an engagement with a man who canonically hasn’t really done anything to him, but is still someone he clearly isn’t fitting well with romantically, would force the writers to do something. They’d have to either expand on ways BT could work, or they’d have to confront the fact that they just don’t, and end the relationship. But in the midst of that it would mean Buck gets written as being introspective and curious about himself and his wants.

It would also be a fire way to force Eddie to realize he has feelings for Buck and for Buck to realize if he had to marry someone, it’d be Eddie. But that’s not the overall point, lol.

[eeblouissant]

Oh you reblogged the character ask game, yay!! I'd like to ask numbers 7, 21 and/or 22, and 24 (since you mentioned other fandoms 👀) for Dorothy :)

I just love these ask games, I get so chatty when my interests are brought up & I feel like the only people that ever want to listen are the friends I’ve made here 😂 I’ll reblog any ask game that comes across my dash for a chance to ramble haha!!

7: what’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I feel like our corner is very dedicated to portraying the girls exactly as they would be (sticking very strictly to canon, with the exception of, well. You know. The three of them being married. Which arguably is just barely not canon) & this is something I love so dearly. I’ve been in big fandom spaces in the past & have had to distance myself from favourite characters when their main portrayal happens to be far outside of canon. Dorothy is a very good example of this; she presents far from who she really is on the inside. It kills me on an entirely different level to see characters taken at face value, and to be extended and projected that way. For example, Dorothy presents herself with a very dominating presence, someone who is cold and who likes to be in charge. However!! That is very much not the case. In fact I don’t thing that description fits any of the girls. That’s just not a character type you’re going to get with this show. What I can’t stand is when people don’t pay attention to the media they’re consuming, & even more when it’s on purpose (ignoring canon and key character traits/experiences for the sake of it) - people who choose to pay attention to a version of a character they’ve created in their head. Good for you! Create an OC if you’re going to do that!!! Don’t ruin my favourite characters with your wildly out of character headcanons that you push as canon lmao!! Because it will always lead to others that haven’t actually seen the series they’re from thinking it’s canon & further spreading that agenda. Drives me up the WALL. The lengths some people go to to defend these fabricated versions of characters so far beyond who they really are is nuts!!!!

What I’m trying to say is that I love, love love how much care is put into every portrayal & piece of fan media I’ve seen from this fandom. Oh my goodness - if any characters deserve it it’s these four. Of course we’re only talking about Dorothy here but there’s no specific character from this show that deserves it more than another. (Speaking specifically about Dorothy though, I really adore how carefully her trauma regarding Stanley is handled here, in every aspect. It’s really lovely to see.)

21: if you’re a fic writer & have written for this character, what’s your favourite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like?

I’ll start with something I don’t like; I don’t love writing Dorothy that much 😅 mostly because I relate to her so intensely that I sometimes catch myself straying from her character, or projecting bits & pieces of my own experiences onto her. She can be tricky to write - so I guess it’s not that I don’t like writing her, she’s the tricky. Younger Dorothy especially - lord. She’s real hard not to project onto. Harder scenes mostly, not my favourite. But at the same time so interesting I can’t resist.

At the same time I love writing her. What I love most is writing her to fill in the gaps of her story - that has always been the most interesting thing for me to write. The boring things, random little snippets of her life I guess. Sometimes I’ll jot down a paragraph or two when I’ve got nothing else to do on a train ride home. Don’t get me wrong, I live for the drama that came with her marriage, but ahhh there’s something about thinking of all the thoughts & feelings she must have had as a new mother getting to know her kids - & how she responded to Kate while she was an only child. The change that came with her son nine years later, how that affected Kate too (would Kate have smashed a plate dramatically the way Dorothy did when Phil was born? I think so lol). Anyway, I like the random & boring bits most :)

22: if you’re a fic reader, what’s something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don’t like?

I love seeing Dorothy get to show that happy bubbly side we don’t see very often in canon :’) anytime I’ve read a fic where she gets to be unapologetically happy & a little aloof it brings me an infinite amount of joy. That’s her!!!! That’s the real her!!!! ahhhhhh!!!!! She’s just silly she just wants to have a little laugh!!!! (thinking about how she was canonically the class clown. She just wants to make everyone giggle & maybe get to giggle a little herself 🥲)

I’ve mentioned it already, but … the mischaracterization… please lord spare me (and HER!!!). I can take this no longer I cannot deal. I’m so sick of it - I could count on my hands how many authors I trust to read a new fic about/involving her from - when!!! Will people stop leaning into her safeguard!!!!!!!!! She’s not that way!!!!!! Oh my GOD!!!!

24: what other character from another fandom of yours reminds you of them?

this is an interesting question 👀👀 hmmm … I’ve always been a huge poison Ivy fan, & Ivy from the recent Harley Quinn series reminds me a lot of her now that I think about it. I am also, very unfortunately, violently hyperfixated on the game genshin impact & have been for a good few years now, so naturally I’ll have to assign her a character - I think she & Xianyun have a bit in common for sure!! If even just in mannerisms & general outlooks on life. (Pictures below in the order I mentioned them!)

[preciouspiastri]

IM STARING SOOOO INTENTLY AT canon(ish?), logan loves benny and later sarah but feels like a homewrecker

ok this one i can already tell is going to be my legit baby so here's a few pieces of it so far <33 i'll probably decide later on down the road if benny comes back after he leaves or not but idk yet! i might make him and sarah logan's wags and let elias keep his job lol

“But this is our dream?” (Logan) “No, Logan, this is your dream. I want to be a father. I want to be a family with Sarah.” (Benny) Logan reels back like he's been smacked. “Oh. I get it. I'm not a part of this like I thought I was then.” (Logan) “Logan, I didn't mean it like that. You have to know I didn't mean it like that!” (Benny) “I thought this would be better, but it’s not.” (Benny) “We tried, right?” Logan curls in on himself, feels impossibly small. Just wants Benny to say this ever meant something, anything to him like it did Logan. “We did try.” (Benny) “I know we were waiting to see if it would get better once we made it to F1, but it’s just not getting better. I think we both have to admit that.” (Benny)

“This is hard, but I think you were right. You should go be a dad to Kobe and Nala, spend time with Sarah.” “I won’t stop you, but are you sure Logan?” Logan nods. “Yeah, I can’t keep taking you away from your family. It’s not fair.” “You’re my family too, Logan. Whatever happens, I need you to remember that, yeah?” Logan nods to appease Benny, but he knows that Benny’s just saying that to make this easier, to make Logan feel better about essentially firing his trainer. Knows that eventually communication will peter out to obligatory texts and that Logan has to find a way to cope with that and move on. He can’t keep doing this to Benny or Sarah. He can’t destroy their actual family.

Logan’s phone lights up with the name ‘Sarah ❤️’ and the picture that the three of them took on the beach in Miami in 2023. Logan has a feeling as to why she’s calling, but can’t let it go unanswered. He couldn’t do that to Sarah, so he takes a deep breath and unlocks his phone. “Hello?” “Hi, love.” “Hi, Sarah,” Logan says. “You want to tell me what’s going on?” She asks gently. And something inside Logan breaks. Suddenly he’s sobbing down the phone with shuddering gasps racking his body, unable to catch his breath. “Hey, hey. You’re fine, babes. I need you to breathe for me.” He’s fucking trying, but his body just won’t cooperate. Sarah can hear him struggling, and it breaks her heart. “Do you need me to do anything?” Sarah asks. “No,” Logan chokes out. “Will you just talk? About anything, I don’t care.”

fuck it i'll include the playlist for this one too, it's more infidelity/guilt vibes but there are a few repeats

you signed up for this (maisie peters)

the blue (gracie abrams)

is there something in the movies (samia)

i know it won’t work (gracie abrams)

aeroplane (greer)

the other woman (lana del rey)

triptych (samia)

picture you (chappell roan)

coffee (chappell roan)

why did you marry (nataly dawn)

i don’t sleep well (hello saferide)

i do (reneé rapp)

high infidelity (taylor swift)

right where you left me (taylor swift)

go home (lucius)

don’t tell my mom (reneé rapp)

the kids don’t wanna come home (declan mckenna)

the one that got away (katy perry)

as long as we’re together (the lemon twigs)

why didn’t you say that? (the lemon twigs)

pool (samia)

to me it was (samia)

orange show speedway (lizzy mcalpine)

reckless driving (lizzy mcalpine)

called you again (lizzy mcalpine)

just dumb enough to try (father john misty)

nobody sees me like you do (japanese breakfast's version)

everybody does (julien baker)

your father (the front bottoms)

when u love somebody (fruit bats)

tornado warnings (sabrina carpenter)

things i wish you said (sabrina carpenter)

talking to strangers (maisie peters)

tough act (maisie peters)

bad decisions (bastille)

good lesson (bastille)

make me cry (noah cyrus)

fell in love without you (motion city soundtrack)

rewind (goldspot)

where’s my love (SYML)

meant to stay hid (SYML)

bottom of the ocean (miley cyrus)

not like the movies (katy perry)

grow as we go (ben platt)

same boat (lizzy mcalpine)

illicit affairs (taylor swift)

if you leave (orchestral manoeuvres in the dark)

also probably half of lizzy mcalpine's new album will end up on this list as well because that entire album is about logan and benny

[fareehaandspaniards]

Hey, since you smoked some more Laurence information and inspiration, how do you feel about Laurence x Rom ship idea? This is the last combination within Byrgenwerth's main four that was never explored yet :') It is /THAT/ rare. XD

Also imagine Laurence and Rom bullying Micolash and Caryll in Byrgenwerth era for not having disagreed with Willem even once (haaaahaaaa teacher's pets!), then bullying them in Healing Church era for still not evolving when Laurence got cool horns and Rom got cool extra eyes.... and maybe then some day in the Nightmare they are still laughing at Micolash and Caryll for not becoming monsters and dying as just some boring twinks gfbhghfh (I know it is not canon because Laurence did NOT want to lose humanity, I am just shitposting xD)

Are they really a rare ship?? Like yeah, I haven’t seen any fanart for them, but it seemed very obvious to me that they are very shippable!

Bullying you mean like that? XD

And Caryll with Micolash be like:

Okay, but talking about Laurence/Rom, I think that's the only ship I really like with Laurence :^) I hc Ludwig as a married man, Gehrman loves Maria, maybe Brador/Laurence could be fine...?

Rom and Laurence could be a great couple and maybe even help each other with their weaknesses and flaws. Laurence would be an incentive for Rom to be bolder and could understand her troubles, since he is an excellent psychologist, and Rom, in turn, would take care of him and help him not to go too far, combining progress and humanity! Actually, I think such a pair would be Yharnam's salvation!

I have headcanon that during Byrgerkingth era (no, I am not tired of this pun) Laurence initially considered her a “lower” class, since she is an orphan and not noble like himself (well, and also since she is very smart! We don’t miss the point that neglect and the desire to humiliate often come from envy and deep admiration, right? I’ll soon write and translate a post on this topic, because I fell in love with another ship!!!). Laurence was quite an unpleasant young man in his first two years of study! And if after a while he found a common ground with Romi, the rest of the students were compelled to tolerate him for a long time - he could easily deceive someone, set up – oh, clearly “high school” vibes xD

What pushed him and Rom to friendship - probably was that Laurence was extremely lonely and complex on the inside, and he created many enemies for himself with his own hands! Rom would have been one of those who would have forgiven all the previous mockery, just because she believes in his good side. And for this he secretly would be her “protector,” like, without advertising it, but if someone makes her feel bad, they will definitely be ridiculed and publicly humiliated.

Plus, I love the concept of the “Byrgenwerth trinity” Rom + Laurence + Micolash, and there are a lot of details about their communication, but now I probably need to focus on Rom. The key point is that she and Laurence, in a special way, acted as “parents” for Micolash (although I am not sure he liked it, especially because for some time he was interested in Rom, you know, romatically). And it brought them closer again!

As a result, in the middle of her studying in Byrgenwerth, Rom had around her - Caryll, who admired and respected her, but quietly, modestly and from afar, faithful Yuri (I remember the nuance with her name as with Caryll, but I still use version from Eng localization, since it is more familiar) and Laurence, the only who could see her as a woman, not only a good friend and sister (Micolash was kinda upset discovering that they are half-siblings :^( )

Laurence, in turn, went through real personality development, experiencing transformation during his studying, as often happens with bullies. And from an ugly, bullying duckling, he turned into a balanced, understanding and pleasant swan, which in fact he always was, just inside! (I think this would be the first time Micolash would be truly angry at him, because they would become less “alike.”) And Rom would not immediately understand this change. Reincarnated, Laurence would already be thinking about his future life, after graduation, and would come to the conclusion that he simply could not find a better wife than Rom. She is smart, kind and would not prevent him from blood researches, since she shares his passion for science. So he started hitting on her. But Rom remained indifferent, feeling that it was all insincere - just a practical calculation. And Laurence liked that fact, because she saw him through!

Next comes Research Hall, where Rom (based on your, dear Katy, research, which I sliiiightly took to my headcanons xD) was a patient (imagine Laurence being concerned about her and seeing as a future prophet for the Church, it's both science and love, tho cruel tbh), and then the Choir. Actually, Rom as the leader of the Choir is very logical, even if it’s not mentioned in the game. Laurence and Micolash, her friend and brother, are outstanding figures, why does she always remain on the sidelines? I think she had even more Insight than these two from the beginning! She perfectly perceives those same higher planes that Micolash strives for, and is able to communicate with Ebrietas, because she fEeLs.

Aaaand... Laurence and Rom could have become officially a couple after foundation of Choir! Tender, warm to each other, not demanding anything from each other except love.

There is a difficult moment with the timeline, but I would like to headcanon that Rom distanced herself from the Choir, from Micolash - from everyone when Laurence died, turning into a beast, and this became the point-of-no-return, after which she no longer needed anything, and her grief resonated with Ebrietas, causing the Great One to feel compassion for her...

So yes, good ship, deserves attention

[maygrcnt]

Let’s see the Olivia 911 song list

thank youuuuu for asking i love you!! i know i said five but i didn’t want to stop at five so i did ten. also im gonna try and refrain myself from just saying every song is a buck song but it’s hard

1. Brutal- seasons 1-3 May. I feel like we as a collective don’t talk about the early seasons of may grant enough. she was just a kid! and she was being bullied so bad she thought she didn’t have any way out of it, it’s so heartbreaking. and then she just kept going through stuff in her family life and… i just care for her so much and this is HER song fr.

2. Deja Vu- Buddie. there’s no like actual moment of buddie for deja vu but i just feel like this is what’s going through both of their heads every single time the other person has a date with someone else. like this is the one and only buddie jealousy song to me!

3. Vampire- Buck/abby. like i’m sorry you can’t convince me buck abby was an ethical relationship and im NOT talking about the age gap even though that’s the main point of this song. like she got his info in a sketchy way and then basically used him to help her heal until she was ready to move on but then didn’t even have the guts to do an actual breakup and left the kid hanging for months. call me a bitch but i feel very comfortable saying she sucked so much of his energy and life. it took two full seasons for him to fully find closure from that while she had started a whole new life! :/

4. Stranger- Buck/abby again lol. this is like the other side of that argument where it’s like, buck was totally crushed but now in season seven who the fuck cares about her! she’s just a stranger now! and the lyric “you are the best thing i keep so far out of my life” is very them. because she did change his outlook on life in MANY ways but his healing from her was the best thing he could have ever done.

5. logical & enough for you- maddie. my heart breaks listening to these songs from a maddie perspective. thinking about how long she suffered and dealt with so much she didn’t deserve,,, these are the best songs for her imo especially the lyric “one day i’ll be everything for somebody else” because she is she really is! and she’s getting married to the person who looks at her like she hung the moon and i love her!!!

6. Making the bed- eddie, specifically pre canon eddie. idk how to explain this one but it’s very much just the idea of him getting back to his son realizing how shit things are and being like … i had a part in making this problem and now i need to fix my shit. and then he did!

7. 1sf3sb- henren in the early seasons/precanon. the cheating storyline is one of my least favs but i love how they showed them rebuilding from it and coming back even stronger. but in the midst of it all this song is truly very them from karen’s perspective. she was valid for everything during that time btw karen is a literal saint for her patience.

8. boahsg- ravi, our little clumsy socially awkward darling

9. Love is embarrassing- Bisexual buck!!!!!! this is my fav liv song and it’s so buck it’s not even funny. the anthem for the give more than they get hopeless romantics oh god i love him and it became way way more buck when he kissed a man who’s kind of a loser. i bet he’s planning out his wedding with a guy he’s never marrying right now!

10. finally, the newest addition to my list and the most important in my mind: Scared of my guitar the most buddie song to ever buddie (other than good luck babe). I love this song so much coming from the perspective of them literally not being able to lie to each other but they can lie to significant others like it’s nothing. oh there’s so much good stuff in there it’s amazing.

thank you for letting me do this anon ily

[kakusu-shipping]

Hey sorry I know this is weird but

You got that anon before talking about being worried because their F/O is a minor and people might not take their love for that F/O seriously in the first place, but like ?

It would probably be good to point out that people age while characters predominantly don’t? Or at least are stuck in a kind of stasis when there ceases to be new canon material, so like. I personally “aged out” of being suitable for one of MY F/Os even though I was also a minor when they became my F/O? And idk people are allowed to have their own opinions, but I’ve always operated under the assumption that my F/Os age with me, so we’re Both not minors anymore

People still might pick to hate if they’re so inclined and might not care to listen to reasoning, but it might be food for thought

I’ve never actually seen any instances of minors with adult F/Os going 😠 you CANT love them, they’re too old for you etc, soooo

You're talking about Aging Up an F/O? I think? Sorry I don't fully understand what you're saying or what you mean with this ask.

But yeah some people will age a Fictional Character Up to match their IRL age, or age up with them if they've been together long enough for that, and I always think that's neat! Childhood friends to lovers kind of thing, very cool. Always a thumbs up in my book.

But some people don't do that! Some people Age their S/Is down, or don't change at all, and that's good too!

I personally don't like changing canon very much, or thinking too far outside the Canon Content Timeline, it misses the mark for what makes Self Inserting and Self Shipping fun for me, so I'll usually make an S/I who's age matches the F/O in canon, and leave them at that age no matter my irl age.

Maybe it's just because I'm somewhere in the Age Dreamer/Regressor camp, but the idea of Age Sliding your S/I to fit the Canon Demographic seems a lot less complicated than Aging Up an F/O. I can be any age, but canon events only happen when they are This Age, you know? Does that make sense?

And of course there's people who like the age gap. My first My Hero self insert is in his early 20s and dating Toshinori Yagi who's in his... mid 50s? I think? My Kisses Sun on the Mouth Security Breach Self Insert is 4. My Promised Neverland S/I meets Leuvis at 16 and is half raised by him until they get married when he's 25. I have several Immortal S/Is who date Mortals as young as 20! It's a fun plot point! For some people it's angsty, but I use it for pure silly thoughts mostly, I don't take it too seriously.

There's a lot of different ways to go about self inserting with an age gap. You can make yourself older, you can make the F/O younger, you can match your ages or be drastically different. Sometimes you wanna be just a littol guy and sometimes you wanna be the oldest fart in the series

As always, the only point is to have fun, and do whatever you want forever.

[kitkatt0430]

Okay, so it's actually Monday, but I was busy yesterday. :D

The still as of yet unnamed sequel to Closer and Closer Still has stagnated a bit during my struggle with an ongoing wasp invasion of my house (check out 'the wasp invasion' tag on my main for more details if you're curious) but there has been progress all the same.

Eobard’s heart was suddenly thudding in his chest too fast. Did Barry know what he’d just said? Just implied about his feelings for the Reverse Flash? Someone… someone he loved…

“Let’s get dinner.” The words just slipped out without permission. “My treat. You’ve had a difficult day.”

Eobard is all worried that Barry will deliberately slow his own progress to keep the Reverse Flash around, but maybe he should be worried about his own resolve to go home should Barry ever confess being in love with Eobard directly.

My Flash Finale Fix-it has also been suffering under the wasp invasion writing-block stress, but it's inching in the direction I want it to go so that's good. It's Westhallen endgame and Barry's not exactly being subtle about his feelings about Eddie. Though Eddie's not connecting the dots yet because he knows a.) Barry's married now and b.) Barry's always been in love with Iris. Just Iris. Right?

And then he asked, "what's the Negative Speed Force?"

Barry's turn to grimace.  "Either it's an artificial Speed Force that Eobard created in the far flung future or it's the Negative pole to the Positive represented by the Speed Force I get my powers from.  And, honestly, the first explanation makes more sense as Eobard's ego talking because he thought he created something that he actually just woke up."

That got a snort of amusement from Eddie.  "When he kidnapped me, he ranted on and on about how I wasn't a scientist or a politician and didn't live up to his expectations.  Sounded like my parents, like my achievements only mattered based on how they reflected on him.  Or them.  I hate to say it, but the ego is a Thawne family trait."

"Skipped you, then," Barry said, gently squeezing Eddie's hand in his.

Barry's been holding Eddie's hand the entire time they've been sitting on the couch in future!Joe's house.

By the time I get to Eddie's PoV, he's a lot calmer about what's going on than canon!Eddie was. He's been dead and it's not like he didn't realize it'd end up being Barry that Iris would most likely move on with in time - Eddie just hadn't expected to suddenly be alive in that future and it's being dropped in the middle of a point in time where he knows neither of them really need him that makes him sad.

I've also been working, on and off again, on the next entry in my Flash Back series. This entry would be set right after the now altered events of Flash Back in S2. In which Barry's memories of the new timeline have filtered in alongside his memories of the original (to him, anyway) timeline.

Eddie's alive now and still engaged to Iris. Ronnie is alive and gone with Stein to join the Legends, which is straining his relationship with Caitlin. But at least they're alive.

“Without me, Eobard Thawne couldn’t exist anymore…” And Barry can see those wheels turning in Eddie’s mind.

So Barry hugged him. Too tight, maybe. “If Eobard dogs my steps for the rest of my life, I don’t care. Not as long as you’re here and safe. You are worth more than you know, Eddie.”

Eddie hugged back, a shaky breath let out against Barry’s shoulder. “Got it,” he promised softly.

I didn't go in to this series intending Westhallen, but... I am a sucker for that ship. I can't guarantee it'll go that way, but the hints of it are there now. (All I really intended was one-sided EoBarry on Eobard's side and Barry recognizing that things between them are really weird for two people who hate each other.)

[strawberryjamsara]

the ask game thing for fandom anddd yttd or persona!!!

Yttd

Favorite character: Sara

Least favorite character: Midori or Megumi

5 favorite ships: Naoreko, Saranzu, Qmai, Maiple, and Keitaro

Character I find most attractive: Mai is sooo pretty and also covered in blood and wears a cool dress and has that awesome eye design and

Character I would marry: Reko Yabusame has me like that image of Homer Simpson in a wedding dress

Character I would be best friends with: Nao! Sorry I stole your wife.

An unpopular opinion: I don’t think Sara and Midori have many parallels. What’s far more prevalent and interesting to me is Sara’s utility to Midori as another source of entertainment similar to Shin. He wants to bring out her ruthless nature because it intrigues him, and he will hurt people around her for the sake of it, and yet he’s uninterested in treating her like an equal despite talking like she is.

A random thought: The fact Nankidai never finished the sketches for that High School AU bothers me like hell

Canon otp: Ryojoe <3

Non canon otp: Naoreko I guess

Most badass character: Well obviously, it’s Hayasahrurhkgtsjisdjyrgjtzf

Most epic villain: Uh, well my favorite floormaster is Safalin

Pairing I am not a fan of: The twinks with scarfs

Character I feel the writers screwed over: tbh I think the emotion route does Kanna sooooooo dirty. Like first of all she doesn’t even react to Shins death. Like she just tried to stick up for his life and failed. He died. She’s losing another sibling. But apparently she’s better now. In an instant she has gone from wanting to die at the alter to saying that she’s learned sacrifice is something you should never do. Everything is A-Okay. This is the good route. It makes this feel like Nankidai didn’t care about writing her, and that she’s just a pawn to develop Shin and this was a fun bonus. Like that’s the last thing you would want. At least show her change! Or hell, maybe you should show her final parting with Shin!

Favorite friendship: I really care about Sara and Keiji’s relationship. Guy who kills people and the weird lesbian kid who he is not qualified to care for but he does is literally the trope ever.

Character I most identify with: Sara. I have issues.

Character I wish I could be: Nobody. These bitches need therapy.

Persona 5

Favorite character: I am unfortunately, an enjoyer of Goro Akechi

Least favorite character: Kamoshida.

5 favorite ships: Akeshu, Makoann, Ryukita, Akiryu, Shihoann

Character I find most attractive: Tae

Character I would marry: I guess I’d enter a lavender marriage with Sojiro. We can have a nice coffee shop au.

A random thought: Every Ann redesign is better than the original how do they do it.

An unpopular opinion: Yaldabaoth was like a really good concept for the game because saying “getting rid of the asshole in power is not the solution, this here is the foundation of sloth that society feeds upon and you must destroy complacency itself for anything to change.” Is actually like really cool and radical for a game in 2016 to say.

Canon otp: Sojiro and Wakaba

Non canon otp: Akeshu.

Most badass character: They’re all losers

Most epic villain: I liked Maruki as a villain

Pairing I am not a fan of: I see Futaba and Akira as siblings.

Character I feel the writers screwed over: (Holding Makoto’s character arc in my arms and sobbing)

Favorite friendship: Futaba and Yusukes bickering was really endearing!

Character I most identify with: Makoto again. Maybe I need help.

Character I wish I could be: I was gonna default to Sojiro again but then I remembered his attitude at the beginning of the game and I was like “Oh fuck no.” So I got nothing.

[geee-three]

ALRIGHT TIME TO REPLY FOR REAL.

HI HELLO!!! (@lizbii, @written-by-kafka) it's below the cut,, ofc /no pressure if you don't have the time or mental energy!! im open to all criticism if you have any but also if you just wanna rate it out of 5 that's chill too!! there might be typos and grammar errors but i'm gonna fix those later!!! also it's not formatted for tumblr.. sorry...

tw for a lot of self-hatred, parents not parenting well, and a lot of swearing!!! (+ ooc shinodad)

wip 

A/N: btw when I wrote this, I thought it was canon that Shinodad divorced Ena’s mother then married Akito’s, who died when he was 4, then remarried Ena’s mother, who died a little later on. That is Not Canon. I don’t know why I thought that was canon. I don’t even know where I heard that. In canon, Shinomom is in the picture and really nice. Idk man, but there’s a few references to that in here, so let’s just say it’s an AU or something.

-----

He’d been putting it off for days. It was far too daunting to even try and start. 

He knew that made him a dissapointment. He couldn’t care. He’d just stay up all night the night before.

The morning of, the homework remained unfinished. He hadn’t slept, he’d wanted to do it, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know what it was, but it was paralysing. Laziness, he presumed.

Everyone else could do it. He guessed that made them stronger than him. He guessed that made him weak.

Not like he didn’t know that already.

He was tired. So fucking tired. Mentally, physically, he couldn’t tell. But he had to get up. He had to make it to school. Nene had wanted to tell him about that game she’d gotten. He couldn’t disappoint her. (Why she’d want to talk to him of all people about that, he didn’t know. Presumably as a substitute for Toya, as they were in different classes now.)

-----

He made it, presentable enough. His tie was on wrong, Nene pointed out, before launching into a brief lecture on the game. Slime Rancher? Who’d eat slime, let alone put ranch on it? He fixed his tie, watching his reflection in the window as he nodded along to Nene’s monologue. 

20 minutes later, there was a teacher standing in front of his desk, hand held out for missing homework.

“Shihonome.”

Akito didn’t look up.

“Again?”

Akito didn’t look up.

“Why not?”

“I didn’t see a reason too.” A blatant lie. But no-one needed to know that.

A sigh. “This is the fourth time this term.”

“I thought it was more.”

“I’m going to have to write you up.”

“I know.” He still didn’t look up.

Another sigh. The words were whispered this time, presumably intended to stay in the teacher’s head, but they would spin in Akito’s for a long time afterwards. “Useless kid.”

He stood up, picked up his bag, and left the room.

No-one said anything. No-one stopped him. No-one even asked why. Why would they? Not the first time that had happened.

-----

He shoved open the door. It was always stiff, but somehow he felt it was worse that day. He’d taken his keys with him, they were in him pocket, but he’d forgotten to lock it. Oh well. Ena was probably fine. He couldn’t bring himself to care in that moment. He’d regret that in a few hours.

He ran straight to his room, pushed past the door on his shoulder, dumped his bag by the foot of his bed, and fell directly onto his pillow face down. 

He immideatly got up and started pacing around his room. His thoughts were too much to stay still. 

Did you not hear the teacher? Useless kid.

I’m not useless, he wanted to shout. I can do things, I just don’t try.

You’re lying to yourself. You can’t get out of bed, can’t be motivated to do things, can’t understand them when you do try. Can’t do basic person things, like make yourself food or keep track of time. Can’t keep track of money. You wouldn’t survive without Ena, and you can’t even be grateful for it.

He didn’t have a response for that.

if you’re bad at being a person, you’re probably a bad person too.

Y’know, there’s proof for that.

What proof?, he wanted to scream. Please, tell me, what’s proving that I’m so bad at everything?

You have to force yourself to be kind. That’s not normal. And it doesn’t even work. You can’t tell what people are feeling, you don’t know how to comfort people - you’re a bad person, and a bad friend.

He didn’t have a response for that either.

He punched his bed instead. Twice. Three times. Didn’t Toya say there was a word for that in English? Shit, you can’t even remember what Toya told you. How bad of a friend are you?

No. Feeding into the voices was the wrong way to go about it.

Oh, but how he wanted to.

He was so tired. He couldn’t last forever, right?

So he gave in. (Pathetic) Set an alarm for 12:10, which would give him enough time to get to school for lunch, to meet Toya. (An would cover for him if he was late, even then, and wouldn’t tell him about his disappearance. Lucky that Toya wasn’t in his morning lessons. He’d never need to know. He’d be so disappointed.) Got changed. Took out his contacts - if he slept with them in again, he might just actually claw out his eyes.

It’s 9:30 am, for fuck’s sake. More proof you’re not normal. Good people are awake - AT SCHOOL - at this time. 

“Shut it,” he whispered through gritted teeth. The voices were so loud that there was no room for him, forcing his words into the real world.

You could at least get schoolwork done now. Or clean your room. You could go to the SEKAI. But no, you’re going to be selfish and sleep. You sleep a normal amount. You don’t need more. What’s the fucking point of skipping if you’re not even going to try to catch up on other things?

He was lying on his bed by that point, staring up at the ceiling. He knew he couldn’t do those things. Some kind of mental block.

What kind of weakling, wimp, blamed laziness on a mental block? You fucking waste of space. If Toya knew about this, he’d abandon you. They don’t need you, after all. Weakest link.

The tears weren’t gonna stop now. He wouldn’t admit that, even to himself, let alone to the voices. Who the hell cries over the truth? He remembered what his dad had told him, when he came out last year. A sentiment he’d carried with him ever since.

“You must learn to be strong. You can’t be weak anymore.”

No. He didn’t deserve to be weak. He couldn’t be weak. He had to be strong. (Something in him whispered that he had to be strong for Ena, Airi made him promise. But that string of thought got lost quickly in the ever-growing spider-web that formed his emotions.)

You can’t be unpopular and cry whenever you’re shouted at in the corridors. You can’t have an absent dad, two dead mothers, a questionable relationship with your sister, and not be able to rely on yourself. You can’t be trans and snap when it’s used against you. You can’t be the worst on your team and break under criticism. 

You can’t be weak. 

He couldn’t tell what were the voices and what he really believed. 

But with those endless thoughts swelling in his mind, he fell asleep.

-----

It felt sharp, and painful, as the alarm rang out. He sat up, but the heavy weight in his chest forced him down again.

No fucking way would he get to school, be able to talk to people, and deal with class.

If you weren’t so weak, that wouldn’t be a problem. Disgrace.

So the voices were still there. Great.

He pictured Toya, waiting for him at lunch. An would cover, right?

He wouldn’t be too sad, right?

He couldn’t think about it for too long. 

Don’t mope. Set an alarm and be done with it.

For once, he agreed with the voices. 5:10. Enough time to get dressed and make it to practice without hurting anyone more.

He rolled over and tried not to cry as he imagined what Toya would say.

-----

It sounded out again. 

The weight had moved from his chest to his head. He could deal with that.

He got up, got dressed - normally he’d pick out clothes specifically for practice but today he just threw on whatever (grey cargo wide-leg jeans, an oversized graphic tee and a dark grey hoodie, with just one necklace, the one with a topaz (or was it citrine?) that mizuki gave him.) - didn’t even brush his hair, or put in his contacts, and no makeup. Too tired, despite sleeping all day.

At least you know how pathetic you sound now.

“Shut it.” he whispered, addressed to the air. 

He trudged downstairs, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket but leaving it. He wasn’t talking to anyone before downing either a shot or and energy drink.

Searching in the fridge, he decided on energy drink, grabbing at the neon green can and relishing the burn as the cool liquid fell down his throat. He gulped at it as if it was the first thing he’d drank all day - then he realised it was. He should probably eat something, now that he thought about it.

Whatever. Who cared.

“Akito?”

He jumped. “Shit, Ena, you scared me-“

“The fuck are you doing?” she glared at him. “Did you just get back from practice?”

Was it that late? He glanced at the clock on the wall - no, it was 5:20. He normally got back about 2am.

“If you just got back - shiiit, I’m late.” Worry began to seep into her voice.

“Yeah, you better get going.”

What a shitty “brother”. Just tell her she woke up early.

He watched as she ran around in a panic, shouting something or other. Maybe the brains-worms were right, sometimes-

“I’m kidding, Ena. You woke up early. I’m just heading out.”

She looked up. He expected her to be relieved, but fury filled her eyes. 

“You fucking- I’m GOING to kill you someday.” She rose, stepping towards him.

“Shi-it, didn’t realise it meant that much t’ya, gonna go now, bye!” He hopped over a coat lying by the door, pulled at the handle, and swore, remembering his keys were still upstairs, in his school blazer pocket. “Correction: gonna grab my keys then go.”

She slapped him across the face as he walked past. “Bastard.”

“Love you too, Ena.”

“Suck a dick.”

He practically sprinted out the door, only getting a glance of his reflection as he passed a car - it was already beginning to bruise.

Are you going to reply to those notifications?

Fuck.

VBS!! 

--5:12 pm --

cunt: practice on today? vivid street?

sunflower: Yep! Can’t wait! 💕💕

sappy bitch: I can be there in 10.

cunt: wait until akito responds.

Cunt: @/bastard

-- 5:16 pm --

cunt: @/bastard

-- 5:23 pm --

cunt: @/bastard

you: great name for me you have saved

Cunt: and yours for me is?

You: accurate. (Its cunt)

(Cunt reacted: angry face)

Cunt: are you coming or not

You: I’ll be there.

an

-- 5:23 pm --

cunt: are you sure youre alright to come

You: yeah y

Cunt: given you disappeared what 10 min into school

Cunt: normally you’re back by lunch

You: I fell asleep

Cunt: thank fuck you need to sleep more

You: I’m fine

Cunt: try telling toya that after you didn’t even greet him when you came in

-- 5:24 pm --

Cunt: don’t fucking storm off we’re just worried bout you

-- 5:25 pm --

Cunt: akito seriously

Cunt: what the fuck dude

-- 5:28 pm --

You: did you lock the fucking door

Cunt: what

You: im here 

Cunt: one sec

He heard An almost topple down the stairs to grab the door. He heard Ken yell, “Who is it?” and An’s reply of “Akito!” before the clicking of the lock and An’s startled expression.

“Whoa, dude.”

-----

He’d waited for An to get changed before they headed down to meet the others. Apparently, he looked more shit than he felt. She hadn’t said anything yet, but he could feel her eyeing up the bruise from his and Ena’s spat. She knew how bad it could get, and didn’t want to push him, he presumed.

Then she broke the silence. “Are you wearing glasses?”

“What?” He turned to face her, confused. “Yeah?”

“Oh, that’s so cute. Toya’s gonna-”

He snorted, cutting her off. “As if.”

“No, dude! He’ll short-circuit.” An kept moving, while he stopped in his tracks.

“Akito?”

“Did you just call me cute?”

“I-“ She froze.

He laughed, catching up to her. “I’ll kill you someday.”

Her face was redder than usual. He tried not to think too much of it. If he did, he’d be just as red as An.

They walked in silence until they reached Vivid Street.

Toya did not short-circuit. He started plotting a murder.

“Aoyagi! They’re here!” Kohane tugged at the tall boy’s sleeve, waving at An. “We can get started!”

“Calm, Azusawa. Hello, Shiriashi, Akito.”

They both saw the same thing at once.

“Shihonome, are you alright?” Kohane tilted her head. 

Toya was already worried. His partner hadn’t spoken to him once that day. He didn’t want to push, but this was the last straw.

“You and me need to talk.” He walked past Akito, grabbing onto the grey hood of his jumper as he walked past.

“What- holy shit, Toya.” Akito stumbled backwards, almost hopping. “Let go, damn.” Upon regaining his balance, he spun on his heel, following Toya behind a corner out of sight - but likely not earshot - of the other two.

“Toya, what-“

“Who did this?”

“What, this?” The ginger gestured vaguely at the bruise. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. If your father did something-“

“-he didn’t-”

”-alright, but you weren’t in school today. And look at you. You’re tired, injured, and avoiding the topic.” He squinted, looking closer at Akito’s face. “Have you been crying?”

“What?” He was on his heels, ready to step back. “No, Toya, why-“ he sighed. “Listen, I’m fine now, ok?”

“No, you’re not.” The taller boy put it simply. “Something’s going on. Please, talk to me, Akito.”

He knew he wasn’t getting out of this one. Toya wouldn’t keep pushing if he asked him not to, but something in him wanted to give in. His hard-built walls wouldn’t stand forever.

But he needed them to stay up, just for the rest of practice.

“Later, okay?”

Toya did not look happy about it, but he nodded.

They returned to the group. An quietly raised an eyebrow at Akito, who shrugged back at her.

“Shinonome, are you sure you’re up for practice?” Kohane looked up at him, her big brown eyes full of concern.

He looked down, surprised. “What? I’m fine, Kohane.”

“Stop fucking saying that, man!” An came up behind him, slinging an arm over his shoulder. “We all know it’s bullshit.”

He flinched away from An, avoiding her gaze. “I am fine, though.”

“No!” He was a little surprised by Kohane’s exclamation. “Your hair has grown out almost 3 centimetres, you normally re-dye it after about 2 and a half. You’re wearing glasses, which you never do unless you’re really tired, and even then, you always wear contacts at practice and shows. You normally use makeup to cover up the dark spots under your eyes, and I would guess marks like that bruise, but you didn’t! Your clothes always go together perfectly, and you always seem happier in your own clothes rather than school uniform, but you don’t seem happy today and you’re not wearing any bright colours at all. That all means you’re not okay!” The small girl took a breath, seemingly having exhausted her lungs. “You don’t seem like you,” she finished. 

Toya hummed in agreement, as the other two stared, dumbfounded. 

“I couldn’t have put it better myself.”, he decided.

An, however, was more confused. “How in the hell did you pick up on that much?”

Akito shook his head. “I didn’t pick up on that much.”

“HAH! So you admit, you’re not fine!” She was far more triumphant than she should’ve been.

“No, I’m- ugh. Let’s just start practice.”

The other three had some sort of silent discussion. 

“Fine.” An announced their verdict. “But we’re stopping early. I have chores anyway.”

Bullshit. Ken was doing them.

He didn’t say anything, though.

The music started, from Kohane’s phone. He couldn’t afford to disappoint them further - he couldn’t afford to be sloppy. He pushed through, fatigue hitting him with every step, but he grit his teeth and kept going. He had to sing now, didn’t he? What were the words? He forced his mouth open, hoping they would come, but his voice wouldn’t work. Black spots danced in his vision.

Shit.

And then the ground met his face.

-----

His vision was swimming in and out of focus.

“-elp for-“ An was sprinting away. Part of him wanted to reach out, yell ‘Don’t go!’, but that was selfish. His voice didn’t work anyway.

“-nome!“ Kohane was crouching next to him, a worried furrow in her brow, watching An go. She looked down.

“Akito?”

She used the first name. He must really look like shit.

“Are you awake?”

“Mmhm.” He couldn’t quite form words. He wanted to tell them to carry on with practice, not to bother with him, he could deal with himself, might as well leave him here. But he couldn’t. And they wouldn’t anyway. He didn’t know if he loved or hated them for that.

Love? God, you’re pathetic.

“Good. Do you think you could sit up?”

“Mmmmayybee.” He squinted, as Kohane started to merge with the sky again. It was dark and cloudy, almost as if a storm was brewing. Not helpful.

“Aoyagi? Could you..,” she gestured to the mess that was Akito. Toya nodded, and the two helped him sit up against the wall. Even that was enough to have him shiver against the effort.

Kohane stood up. “Okay, stay here. An-chan went to go tell Shirashi-san about this.” 

“Waaaait,” Akito grabbed at her sleeve and missed by almost 10 centimetres. “Why is An talking to herself? And couldn’t she do that here?” His head fell onto Toya’s shoulder.

“He’s delirious,” the taller boy informed Kohane. “I’ll take care of him.”

“Okay. I’m going to go update them, and then we’ll get you home, Shinonome!” She smiled and jogged off. The smile that could take on the world, at least Akito thought so

To the ginger, Toya explained: “Shirashi is talking to her father, Shirashi.”

“An is her own father?”

“No I-“

“Wouldn’t she be a mother?” He giggled. “Didn’t Kohane say we would make great dads one time?”

Toya sighed, cheeks slightly pink. “I suppose she did.”

“Where did Kohane go?”

“To update Shirashi and Shirashi.”

Akito’s head jumped upwards. “There’s two Ans?”

“No, Shirashi An and Shirashi Ken. Different people.” The frustration was creeping into Toya’s voice now. He took a deep breath, trying to remain level, but he was never good at giving instructions.

“Wait, THE Shirashi Ken? The music artist?” Akito looked genuinely excited. “Can we meet him?”

“Not right now, partner.” Toya glanced at the partner in question, regretting it immediately, as Akito’s deflated expression made him feel as though there was barbed wire cutting into his throat. “We’ll come back and see him later. He’s always here.”

“Oh. Alright, then.” Akito yawned, somewhat contented. He flopped his head back onto Toya’s shoulder. “I might just.. nap a little.”

He was out in 10 seconds flat.

Toya looked up at the graffitied wall, and wished that this moment would last forever. Just when Akito wasn’t refusing to talk to him about a clear problem. And maybe inside, though he didn’t want to be too demanding. 

-----

Akito fell asleep on Toya’s shoulder. He woke up in An’s arms.

Specifically, she was carrying him. Bridal style.

It took him almost a minute to figure out what was going on. And An was so strong? He almost wanted to just let her carry him. But he couldn’t. He’d already hurt her enough by messing up practice.

“An.”

She glanced down. “Hey.”

“Put me down.“

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you can walk?”

“Yes! Put me down right fucking now or I swear to Miku-“

“Fine, fine, if you’re gonna take her name in vain.” She considered dropping him, but she put him down normally. He wobbled, but he was fine after 2 or 3 steps.

“D’ya want me to walk back to your house with you?”

“No. It’s fine.” He glanced back at her. “By the way, I’m sorry I ruined practice. Don’t feel like you need to look after me or anything.”

An stared at him blankly. “Akito, we can practice another time. You come first. And we don’t mind taking care of you whatsoever-“

“Don’t lie to me. If I’m being a burden, tell me to fuck off. Don’t,” he gestured in the direction of Vivid Street, “enable me, or whatever you did back there.”

She stepped towards him, concern leaking through her face. “You’re not being a burden, you’re ill! There’s a fucking difference! We’re not gonna tell you to ‘fuck off’,” she put air quotes around the words, “for anything, let alone this! Akito-“

“I’m not ill.” he took a step back, hissing as An put a cold hand on his forehead. 

“You have a temperature. You fainted. You’re ill.”

“I didn’t faint, I-“ he shrugged, and turned to walk away.

“Akito, where’s this come from?”

“Huh?”

“Why do you think you need to be so independent?” She pressed. “You don’t. We’re here for you, you can rely on us-“

“Not the point. I’m going. Didn’t you say you had chores to do?”

An’s face lit up at the white lie. “Wait-“

“Don’t follow me. I’ll know.” He called out behind him.

He heard An sigh and turn around. After passing the corner, though, he spied for a few minutes to see if she came back. Could’ve been a few seconds, if he was being honest. He was impatient.

-----

He didn’t lock the door behind him when he left. It’s fine. Probably.

He checked his phone again, spotting an absurd number of notifications. 

-- 5:31 pm --

Dad: 6 missed calls.

Dad: call me back.

-- 5:46 pm --

sappy bitch: did you get home safe? Shirashi said you left her halfway.

Cunt: you home yet

Oh, you fucked up big time.

For once, he agreed with the voice. It had been almost 20 minutes - Dad would be simmering with rage about whatever he deemed worth calling his son about. It was never anything good.

The phone rang ominously as he paced the kitchen. He’d rather do this downstairs so he was less likely to wake up Ena.

“Shinonome Senshi speaking, I’m currently occupied. Leave a message.”

“He-ey Dad, it’s Akito. You wanted me to call you back about something? Uh, let me know when you’re free, I guess.”

He hit the hang up button.

The phone rang again less that 20 seconds later. 

“Ahem.”

“Dad, hey.”

“I received an email about you, from the school.”

Shit.

“Do you know what this is about?”

“Uh, not sure.”

“You have missed out on enough credits that you are no longer on course to graduate, if this keeps up.”

“Ah.”

“I’m spending a lot of money on your education, you know.”

“I’m sorry, Dad- I didn’t know it had got that bad-“

“It should not have gotten anywhere near this.”, he hissed through the phone, wrath filling every inch of a room he wasn’t even in. 

“Well, I’m fucking trying! I don’t know what more you want from me, I can’t just magic more intelligence.”

“Do not swear at me.”

“Right, sorry-“

“You’re going to end up nowhere at this rate.”

“I- “

“Don’t make excuses. Are you trying to destroy my reputation? Again? I don’t need two dau- uh, children who’ll end up nowhere!”

“How dare you talk about Ena like that-“

“Don’t refuse the truth. You’re both worthless. I’ll tell you the same thing I told her - either put in some fucking effort or find a plan b.”

“Well, I-“

“Don’t tell me, you think your stupid band is going to take off? That’s never going to happen. You’re talentless, just like your sister.”

“She is not talentless, she’s-“

“Even if you’re convinced on her, that leaves you. You’re nothing like her. You love trying to prove that to me, don’t you, Akito?”

He flinched at the detest leaking from his own name.

“Try harder.”

His dad hung up.

You know, everything he said was right.

“Akito?”

He jumped. “Ena-“

Guess she woke up anyway. More ways you’ve hurt her.

“I’m sorry about him.”

“Did you tell him about..”

“Your band? Yeah. I’m sorry - I thought he’d be proud for once.”

“Why?” He laughed dryly. “I’ll never earn his respect. He can’t handle the idea that I’m not a perfect copy of Mom.”

“Same here.”

They stood in silence for a few seconds. It was the first time either of them had mentioned their mothers in years. 

“He tried to email Shirashi Ken, he’s the guy who’s promoting you, right?” Ena sighed, staring at her hands. “Wanted to get him to drop you.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuckin- well, we already know he’s a bastard. Now that you mention it, Ken-san did mention someone trying to get him to.. oh. He wouldn’t tell me who.”

The tears were coming now, but he couldn’t cry in front of Ena. “I’m going to my room.”

“Oh. Okay.”

-----

He threw his phone across, the room, leaving a dent in the wall across from his door.

He shoved the door closed, leaning on it with his back and slowly sinking to the ground. The phone was blowing up now - messages from during the call were coming in. 

He sat for a minute, before fumbling for the glowing screen, swimming in his vision. 

-- 5:46 pm --

sappy bitch: did you get home safe? Shirashi said you left her halfway.

Cunt: you home yet

-- 5:51 pm --

Cunt: don’t fucking ignore me bitch not after today

-- 5:53 pm —

Cunt: reply to toya at least

Sappy bitch: are you ok?

Sunflower: akito-san, are you alright?

-- 5:56 pm --

Sappy bitch: akito, please tell me you’re safe.

Sappy bitch: you’re welcome to come to mine if you’re lonely. 

-- 5:57 pm --

Sappy bitch: is this because I made you promise to talk? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.

Cunt: youre making toya upset dont give him the cold shoulder because youre too much of a coward to ask for help

Cunt: that was harsh sorry. (Toyas making me say this)

-- 5:58 pm --

Sunflower: we’re all very worried for you, we hope you’re ok.

-- 6:00 pm --

Sappy bitch: I’m sorry, akito. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m here if you do. Please, just tell us that you’re ok.

-- 6:01 pm —

Cunt: if youre dead im not going to you funeral because of this.

It was 6:07 pm. Shit.

Look at you. All you do is hurt others - it’s expected with Dad, but Ena and those you supposedly hold most dear? That’s pathetic. They *worry* about you. How sweet.

You don’t need concern. That makes you weak. You can’t be weak.

Well, he was sure as hell weak now. And no amount of thoughts would change that.

He had to fix the damage best he could, though.

VBS!!

You: I’ll be there

-- 6:07 pm —

You: guys my phone just died on the way back I’m fine lmao

Sunflower: that’s a relief!! Glad you’re safe!!

(Cunt reacted: finger pointing up)

Sappy bitch: did you see my other messages?

You: yeah I’ll reply in one sec

toya

-- 5:46 pm --

sappy bitch: did you get home safe? Shirashi said you left her halfway.

-- 5:53 pm —

Sappy bitch: are you ok?

-- 5:56 pm --

Sappy bitch: akito, please tell me you’re safe.

Sappy bitch: you’re welcome to come to mine if you’re lonely. 

-- 5:57 pm --

Sappy bitch: is this because I made you promise to talk? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.

-- 6:00 pm --

Sappy bitch: I’m sorry, akito. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m here if you do. Please, just tell us that you’re ok.

--6:07 pm --

You: im heading over now

He typed it without thinking. But he knew he wanted too.

Is it really ok? You know about Toya’s parents. They’ll kill him. Do you really want to put him in that situation? That’s so fucking selfish. You should die. Kill yourself.

Great. His brain-worms were resorting to COD lobby insults.

“C’mon, think of something better.” He murmured, picking himself up off the ground, stomping down the stairs.

“ENA! HEADING OUT!” He yelled behind him, ignoring how Ena’s reply of “OK” sounded suspiciously like she had been crying.

--6:08 pm --

Sappy bitch: ok. You know which one’s my window, right?

(you reacted: thumbs up)

Sappy bitch: see you soon.

The window. Of fucking course. He really was an idiot, huh?

-----

He tapped on the glass. The deep purple curtain was shut, and the crisp cold was biting at his neck - a wind had picked up, funnelling fast through the street behind the Aoyagi house.

The curtain was pulled back by what at first appeared to be a disembodied hand, but was in fact Toya, who opened the sliding door from the inside.

“It was unlocked. I always leave it unlocked for you.”

“I forgot.” Akito mumbled, shuffling into the warmth. He met Toya’s eyes as the door fell shut behind him, and felt a stab through the heart as the concern practically melted off the taller boy. Tears sprung back into his vision as Toya embraced him, and the two sank into the mess of blankets and jumpers also known as Toya’s bed.

He didn’t care anymore. He was neck deep in a sea of dispair, clinging to the life raft that was his partner.

He won’t define it like you want to.

An was right - he was ill, for fuck’s sake, trapped in an endless cycle of heat and shivering, tired out of his mind, and trying not to cry knowing just how disappointed his father was in him. He was allowed to be needy.

But it felt so bad. So wrong. So selfish.

Toya stroked through Akito’s ginger hair as he sobbed into his own jumper, but adorned by the calmer of the two.

“Do you want to talk, or do you want me to just be here?”

And it all came spilling out, like a pot put to boil for far too long. Every thought, every event, every brain-worm - all meeting Toya’s ears. Even things he’d barely admitted to himself - how he thought of himself by his dead name; felt like a little girl playing dress-up in Airi’s clothes all over again whenever he stepped on stage; how he heard his dad hesitate before addressing him; how he felt like he couldn’t be two ‘bad’ things at once, like being the worst on the team and bringing in hate due to simply who he was; how he used to be numb to criticism but after a while pins and needles stop pricking at your skin and plunge into your heart; how he couldn’t smile on cue because he never had a chance to learn when he was younger; the whispered slurs and insults that reached his ear in the school corridors; how he’d learnt to rely on himself but when he couldn’t he didn’t know where to turn; how he felt helpless to stop Ena’s spiralling let alone his own. He even mentioned how he was scared that Toya didn’t even care of him at all, (let alone in the same way,) despite how irrational it was.

Toya listened, through all of it, until that last point.

“You think I don’t care?”

“I- I don’t know, man.” His voice broke, and he laughed dryly, though it may have been a sob. “I can’t tell what’s for show and what’s real. What’s you trying to use my connections and what’s.. y’know, us.”

“It was all real, Akito.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’m the guy who doesn’t understand sarcasm and went bright red when I tried to lie to you about spending lunch with Tsukasa for one day. I don’t fake things.”

Akito stared up at him. Yeah, there was no way this guy could possibly lie to him. Not like he could lie to Toya, either.

He wanted to stop lying to himself, too.

“Are we friends, Toya?”

“I- I would say so, yes.” “Do you want to be friends?”

“Of course.”

He sighed. “Let me rephrase. We’re singing partners, yeah?”

“Yes.” Toya looked sincerely confused by this point.

“Would you ever want to be partner in, y’know, a different way?”

He could see the gears turning in his head. Then a light lit up, and it was apparently neon red.

“Akito, I- uhm. I’m flattered, I-“

“Yes or no. Simple answer. No, things go back to how they were. Yes, we figure it out from there.”

“Yes.” It was quiet, but certain. A yes that would be repeated a thousand times in the future, at every do you love me? and can I come over? and do you actually want to be with me? A yes that meant yes, not a maybe or an I’ll think about it or an I’m not sure. It was a yes that had been on the tip of his tongue for weeks, if not months.

Akito would question that yes a million times more than he’d ever ask about it. He would fall asleep wondering if his boyfriend was only that because he felt he had to be. But in that moment, he knew exactly what he wanted, and what Toya wanted too.

He kissed him.

Plain and simple, you’d think.

It was like the fuse to a firecracker had been burning for so long, he’d forgotten about it, but now it’d exploded, filling him with something warm and fiery and fierce. Those embers flew between them in a way they’d only ever done as they sang, but so much more, filling the room with the heat of a thousand suns. Not great for his fever, but who gave a shit?

An’s going to kill you. You’ll be so distracted in practice and school. You’re not even out as gay. What about his parents? Don’t you ever think about anyone else? Are you really ok with doing this?

He’d just kissed Toya Aoyagi. He was far more than ok with that.

This was most certainly a reason to keep going. And that gave him hope. Hope that maybe, he had a future, even if it only extended into next week.

Delirious and about to pass out, one last thought crossed his mind. He supposed, in a metaphorical sense, that he’d always had seeds of hope. Enough for a garden, one he could grow all by himself. Over the years, those had slowly fallen out of the bag or died in the soil. He’d planted the last one with Toya. He’d been expecting a tree to launch out of the ground, faster than life, but nothing had happened. He’d hung onto this lost cause seed, watering it every day. It seemed that now, it had begun to sprout. Love and hope take time, he supposed. Relying on someone was even harder. But, maybe, he could still grow that garden. He needed to look for the seed labelled ‘Ena’. No, first properly plant the ones called ‘An’ and ‘Kohane’, rather than just throw them at the ground. Then maybe ’Nene’. Toya liked her, after all. He’d work his way up to the one sitting at the very bottom of the bag. The one called ‘Dad’. He smiled at the idea - unlikely, but possible. 

It was a long thought.

Then he passed out.

aaanyone wanna proofread my pjsk wip....

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Pairing(s): Margaery Tyrell x Baratheon!Reader, Tommen Baratheon x Margaery Tyrell

Warnings: canon character death, cuckold

Words: 2202 

Summary: A glance and a sassy comment. The more time you two spent alone together, the less of a sister you became to one another. It wasn’t your intention to fall in love with the wife of your brother. You had never really felt bad about it when Maragery was married to Joffrey, but now that she was wed to your sweet Tommen. . . You couldn’t do that to your sweet lion.

You caught her once again staring at you with such obvious flirtation in her glittering eyes that it took everything you had not to out right blush. She knew exactly what she was doing as Margaery’s smile expanded. Oh she was sweet, sure, but boy did she have a penchant for mischief. The more you got to know your twice good-sister, the more you saw. Margaery had her public personality and then her private one. Not even Tommen, her now husband, had gotten a peek of it. In the comforting silence of the gardens, you had been gifted that side of Margaery.

“Don’t even think about it.” Telling her, you can’t help but glance at the two patrolling guards. Even in your own home you were still subjected to being monitored. Especially after the death of your brother Joffrey. Your mother grew ever paranoid that someone would go after you or Tommen next. Myrcella, having been sent to Dorne, was not of concern since she was safe and sound under the protection of the Martells. Cersei kept you and your brother close to her; never were her eyes too far from you. In fact you wouldn’t doubt if she was gazing from her balcony upon the garden right now at you and Margaery. There was obvious dislike for her. Even when she was engaged to Joffrey, your mother never had much love for her. She always warned you to be careful because she had an inkling that Margaery was in fact trying to advance the Tyrell name by becoming queen.

Of course she was. Who else would want to marry Joffrey if it wasn’t for the prospect of becoming queen. Well, that is beside Sansa Stark. Poor girl had been utterly in love with him when she was a young girl. Sansa had to learn the hard way that Joffrey wasn’t the prince she thought he was. It took the execution of her father to figure that out.

The day was beautiful, even so that the guards would agree as they passed by your canopy every so often, grateful that it was just the queen and princess they had to guard. An easy day for them.

Margaery’s eyes flick back to her cards playfully. “What are you talking about?” Sunshine danced behind her, making her glow in its light. Many men had gone through the Red Keep, claiming that you and your mother were the great beauties in all of the Seven Kingdoms. They were all wrong. In actuality it was Margaery. No other woman could ever measure up to her.

Putting your cards down on the stone mosaic table that stood between the two of you, you place your elbows on your knees and lean forward. “That thing you do where you think I’m not paying attention. Your eyes scream how desperate you are to kiss me.”

A hand on her chest in a shocked fashion, she exclaims “My eyes? I’m most certain they do not scream that.” It was cute how she couldn’t even pretend to be shocked. Her real self bleeding out.

You shrug. “Hm. I guess I was wrong. You don’t want to kiss me.”

“Now hold on, I never said that.”

That’s how your relationship had blossomed. A glance and a sassy comment. The more time you two spent alone together, the less of a sister you became to one another. It wasn’t your intention to fall in love with the wife of your brother. You had never really felt bad about it when Maragery was married to Joffrey, but now that she was wed to your sweet Tommen. . . You couldn’t do that to your sweet lion. Tommen had a puppy love for Margaery. If he were to find out about the two of you, it would destroy his gentle heart. Not only that but you could potentially be imprisoned if anyone else were to find out.

The Tyrell Queen leans over to get closer to you. “Who wouldn’t want to partake in the delicacy that are your lips.” Her voice barely rose above the buzzing of the nearby bees. It was only meant for your ears. Margaery was always more bold than you. Her Queensguard was composed entirely of knights sworn to house Tyrell. She was always confident that none of them would tell a soul. Words were wind though and you never let your guard down, especially in front of her guards.

Anxiety makes you lean away from her advances. Heat creeps up your neck as you frantically check to see if there was anyone around. “Please Margaery. . .”

A little bit of her light dims, smile stalling before ever so slowly dipping down. “(y/n). You don’t have to worry.”

“I do though. I have a lot to worry about. I told you we should be more careful. Things are different now that you’re married to Tommen. He’s not Joffrey. Nothing like him.”

She closes her eyes. “I know. I’m sorry. I just. . . I forget. Having to see you after being apart. . . I just want to kiss you.”

You fell back into your chair, heart constricting. “I want to kiss you too. But I can’t.”

“I only married Tommen to stay close to you.” Margaery sits up, laughing a little despite her eyes becoming glossy. “I did this for us.”

Tommen was leagues better than Joffrey ever was, but it didn’t change the fact that the two of you loved each other deeply. All the things that had happened since you met was because of your love. Neither you or Olenna could ever allow Margaery to stay married to Joffrey. Something had to be done with the tyrant, even if Margaery was fully capable of taking care of herself. Joffrey was a monster. He needed to be dealt with.

You never questioned Olenna how she intended to get rid of your terrible brother. Even as you watched him suffocate to death, you forced yourself to watch without blinking an eye. Watched as his eyes bulged and face blooming purple. Deep down you felt shame for feeling no sorrow, no emotion, as Joffrey died. The only sadness you felt was for your mother. She had loved that beast fiercely despite how horrid he was. Cersei had always been blind to his atrocities.

“I know.” Chimes that had been hung on your canopy, imported from Tyrosh, tinkle with the passing breeze. “I’m sorry it’s just, this time it’s different. I love you, but I love Tommen more. He’s my sweet lion. It would kill me if he ever found out and it broke his heart.”

Your words pained Margaery as was clear with the flush to her cheeks and the tears that dripped from her eyes. Her full lips quiver. “I. . . I understand. . . He is a sweet boy. . . Can I get one last kiss?”

Heart sobbing in your chest, you stiffly nod.

Margaery gets up from her seat and drifts over to you like a ghost. She leans over you, beautiful chestnut hair kissing your face before her lips descended on you.

**

Fire blazed in her as Cersei found herself frozen on the spot. Rage consumed her as she stood witness to Margaery Tyrell kissing her eldest child, her daughter (y/n). Cersei wanted nothing more than to strangle the now Queen of Westeros.

Now the tart was moving in on her daughter. Cersei wouldn’t let that go unpunished.

Absentmindedly Cersei goes to touch her sheared blonde hair. Remembering the time she spent being tormented by Septa Unella. Betrayed by her own cousin Lancel.

King’s Landing was full of snakes. From the moment the Golden Rose of High Garden set foot into the city, Cersei knew immediately that she didn’t like the beautiful maid that was to wed her first born son. Her son that was King of all the Seven Kingdoms. To make matters worse was the fact that Margaery had previously been wed to Renly Baratheon, the man that crowned himself king. An imposter. The moment he was killed, Margaery fled, on to her next victim. She should have never listened to Tywin that the Tyrell girl was the best bride for Joffrey. Looking at her now, Cersei was aware of what Margaery was after. Not too long ago Cersei had been much like her: wanting to be queen and stopping at nothing until her goal was reached.

Sharply, Cersei turns on her heels and walked the other way; pretending that she had seen nothing. Margaery’s time was coming. She would regret the day she decided to meddle with Cersei’s family.

**

Unceremoniously you were thrown into your brother’s room, much to his own shock, by the Mountain. All you had tried to do was attend the trial of your mother and Margaery.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Tommen demands.

“This oaf won’t let me go to the trial.” You hiss and glare at Gregor Clegane. “It should be starting soon and people will notice if we are missing.”

Pale brows scrunch up as your brother attempts to size up Ser Gregor but it’s obvious that he wouldn’t stand a chance. “Who put you up to this?”

You pace over to the window that had a wonderful view of the city, including the Sept of Baelor. “Who do you think Tommen? There is no one else that he obeys but our mother.”

Confusion was still plaguing him as he steps away from Gregor’s blocking form. “Why would she make him do this though? Is she going without us?”

“I don’t know.” It confused you. Where was your mother?

Even though Tommen was king, that little to persuade Gregor to move. Those haunting blood red eyes of his just stared without any focus. You still didn’t understand exactly how Qyburn had brought the brute of a man back to life. Seeing him die with your own eyes you had been quite shocked when your mother had showed up with him one day. It wasn’t right. He wasn’t right. Unholy and damned, you hated being around Ser Gregor. Every inch of your skin crawled whenever he was around. You dared not mess with him.

Your little brother walks over to your side to look over the city. “I feel uneasy. . .”

“Me too. . .” What else could either of you do? The Mountain blocked the only door and you weren’t about to scale down the Red Keep. That would have been insane. Your body disagreed as it itched to get out by any means possible. Cersei had purposefully kept you and Tommen from the sept. Why else would she have Gregor put you in Tommen’s room and stand guard. Moments like that made you find similarities between your mother and your late grandfather. Tywin Lannister had a magnificent mind that was always scheming for the sake of his family. Before his untimely death you had overheard him talking to Cersei about your marriage. How it would guarantee further support and allies. Who they had been planning to marry you off to, you never found out. All talk of marriage was snuffed out with his death. Compared to your uncles, your mother took after Tywin more than they did. She had aspirations and drive. Unwilling to give up on something once she had her mind set on it. And unwilling to forgive if she deemed that someone had done her wrong. Much wrong had been done to her recently at the hands of the High Sparrow. After spending weeks under their torture, she had come back to the Keep filthy, naked, and her once beautiful hair cut close to her scalp. They had done a number on her. For the first time your mother had cried in your arms when she saw you.

Fear clicked as a thought entered. You knew your mother wasn’t the forgiving type. What if. . . what if she had plans for the High Sparrow and his ilk? And today was the day when she planned to play out her revenge?

You found breathing to be difficult as panic settled into you and made your head warm and dizzy. It hurt. Vision grew blurry.

“(y/n)? Are you okay?” You hear Tommen’s soft voice, filled with concern.

“I don’t feel good.” You hold on to the windowsill, trying to steady yourself as you look away.

Even though he was scared of the Mountain, Tommen turns his face to him. “Please. Get someone to help my sister.”

Margaery.

Margaery was in the sept.

Waiting for you.

“Please! Do something!” His voice quivered. For being king he lacked the power, the authority. Everyone knew all the power belonged to Cersei.

Then you heard it. A far off deafening clash.

Tommen freezes, his neck stiffly turning toward the window to see the distant plume of dark clouds that had enveloped what had once been the illustrious Sept of Baelor. The sept itself was crumbling down, being enveloped by the smoke and green flames. Gentle green eyes widen in absolute horror as he helplessly stares at the havoc. The screams of those caught near the crossfire drilled into your head as you struggled to gain control over your own body.

The clanging of a broken bell echoed the breaking of your heart.

[phoenixyfriend]

The Family Tree is... a Disaster

Takes place in the TCW Leverage AU. It does contain a few deviations, namely that the narrative ended up shifting Plo's role in Ahsoka's life, and Ventress's role overall.

This is mostly just dialogue where I outline the fuckery that is the disaster lineage family tree, not actual fic. It stemmed from my incessant need to justify "25yo Obi-Wan somehow got custody of 9yo Anakin without Shmi dying."

Warnings for: canon character death (modernized), canon violence (modernized), and references to Nazis and white supremacists (Palpatine collects WWII weaponry as a parallel to his canon display of Sith artifacts in his office as chancellor, and Ahsoka thinks it's sketchy)

----

"Okay," Cody says, setting down a glass of whiskey as he drops into the seat across the table. "What the hell is your family tree like?"

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow, and continues cleaning off the definitely-not-stolen crystal komodo dragon he'd won in today's job. "I beg your pardon?"

"You and Skywalker," Cody says, gesturing between Obi-Wan, who is just sitting there minding his own business, and Anakin, who is across the closed-for-tonight bar and doing something inadvisable on the pool table. "You've said he was your brother, and mentioned raising him, which, sure, I'm over twenty years older than my youngest brother, people take over parenting roles all the time. But you have different last names, have mentioned stepfamilies that the other doesn't have, reference things as 'your aunt, not mine,' and I am just getting... very confused. I figured it was personal and I could leave well enough alone, but considering your older brother almost shot us today--"

"Okay, Xanatos is not my brother," Obi-Wan immediately says. "Just. I just have to stop you right there. Xanatos was a student of my father's for a time, but I promise he's not family. Nobody except maybe Komari would consider him even close, and she doesn't count since she's in prison for life and the farthest thing from stable."

Cody gestures. "That, Obi-Wan. That's what I'm talking about. I don't even know who Komari is."

Obi-Wan purses his lips in a failed attempt to not smile. "Do you actually want the explanation? It's long and unnecessarily complicated."

"So's mine," Cody snorts. Obi-Wan waits, patient and pleasant, and is rewarded when Cody sighs. "Please."

"Of course, my dear. To answer your first question, though, Anakin is my half-brother." With a smile, Obi-Wan digs a piece of paper and a pen from his briefcase. "So, center of the chain: me, my father Qui-Gon, my grandfather Yan, and my great-grandfather Yoda. With me so far?"

"Easy enough. Do you have to go back that far?"

"Great-grandfather Yoda is still alive and regularly escaping the old folks' home to terrorize younger relatives, so yes," Obi-Wan says. "Given that you may just meet a tiny, meddling relative of mine when he's bored, we do in fact have to go back that far."

"...how old is he?"

"We don't know for sure. A hundred and eight-ish is the best guess." Obi-Wan shrugs. "It's not a huge deal, mostly he likes bothering Anakin these days. Anyway, grandfather. Yan Dooku. Inherited a minory duchy from his maternal grandfather decades back. Mostly hangs around there because he's on terrorist watchlists in the States."

"Oh, lovely."

Obi-Wan grins. "Trust me, it gets worse. Anyway, grandfather never actually married, but spent most of his time with his 'best friend' Sifo Dyas, who died about a decade back."

"Gay?"

"Well, we know that now, but they got together in the seventies, and this was back when they were both working government jobs, so, you know. It happens."

"Good to know," Cody says. "So, Yoda's kid is Yan, who inherited a title and land from a maternal relative, and had a life partner but never married. With you so far."

"All of Yan's kids were adopted," Obi-Wan continues, sketching out the first branch away from the Yan/Sifo partnership. "Rael was actually grandfather's cousin, maternally, and ended up in his custody after getting orphaned at five. These days, he does most of the stewardship duties at the Serenno Duchy. His daughter Nim is teaching military history at a university in Germany."

Cody nods. "Uncle number one is named Rael, technically your dad's cousin, has a daughter. Got it."

"About a decade after Rael, they adopted my father, Qui-Gon. He and grandfather fought, frequently, but they did care for each other. My father was a botanist, did bio-engineering. We'll get back to him later, because he's where things get complicated." Obi-Wan made sure to leave room around the name. "Just a few years older than me was--is--Komari Vosa. She is... serving a life sentence. I think she fought Jango once."

"She fought my father?"

"To the best of my knowledge, they both almost died, yes," Obi-Wan says. "She's in maximum security these days. She was an assassin. I'll get a call if she breaks out, and I'll let you know along with everyone else."

"Bad news auntie, got it."

"Last adoption, sort of, is Ventress," Obi-Wan finishes off. "A few years younger than me, is technically grandfather's personal assistant and does secretarial work and the like, but we all know he's planning to leave as much of the inheritance to her as he is to the rest of us. She's aggressive and unpleasant, but she takes care of him and hasn't actually threatened to kill any of us yet, so that's fine."

"How'd she join?" Cody asks.

"Ky Narec was a friend of Qui-Gon's; Ventress was his daughter. Ky died a few years after Qui-Gon did, and Ventress was a mess, after." Obi-Wan shrugs and scratches that connection into the little sketch of a family tree as well. "Grandfather offered her a job until she got herself back together, and then she just kind of... stuck around."

"Youngest aunt, more of a cousin." Cody summarizes. "Now we go back to your father?"

"Qui-Gon Jinn was a man of many skills," Obi-Wan says drily. "Adequate birth control was not one of them."

It's almost a pity that Cody wasn't drinking anything, because going by the way he chokes, Obi-Wan's pretty sure the spit take would have been spectacular.

"I'm sorry," Cody says. "Can you repeat that?"

"I was an accident," Obi-Wan says, not even bothering to hide his smile. "So was Anakin."

"So that sounds like... a story."

"It is," Obi-Wan confirms. "My biological mother has never been in the picture. They had a fling, she wasn't sure if she'd want to abort or give me up, just that she wasn't ready to be a parent, and Qui-Gon volunteered to take full custody so she could go back to her life after the birth. I've never met her, but I kept her family name. You can consider her irrelevant beyond that."

Cody nods.

"So, when I was about a year old, Qui-Gon reconnects with an old flame, they get married two years later. Step-mother number one is Tahl. Lovely woman, I absolutely adored her, and she had a daughter, my stepsister, Bant Eerin."

"I met her, right?" Cody asks.

"Yes, she was the doctor who patched up my bullet wound a few months ago," Obi-Wan says. "With the giant glasses that make her look a little fish-eyed."

"She was nice."

"She is," Obi-Wan agrees. "At any rate, that was our family for a while, and then Tahl died when I was fourteen. Bant wanted to go to a magnet school for medical studies, and Qui-Gon's grief was... not optimal for taking care of multiple teenagers, shall we say, so Bant moved in with her paternal uncle, Kit Fisto, and Kit's son Nahdar. He's a marine biologist, incredibly friendly, and has no idea of any of the rest of my side of the family's questionable activities. If you ever meet him, you will pretend that we are a legal firm with a team of security consultants."

Cody raises a brow. Obi-Wan despairs. "Best you could do?"

"We're not that likely to run into him." Obi-Wan draws out a new line. "So, Qui-Gon deals poorly with grief. This is also around the time that Xanatos came around to ruin our lives a little. He was a very rich and unpleasant man, but he's dead as of four hours ago, so you don't have to worry about him. Or his son."

"His son?"

"Anakin handled that," Obi-Wan says. "Thoroughly. Granta Omega is no longer an issue. He's not dead, but... well. Anakin has his ways. Er--I should probably mention Feemor; he was my father's assistant at the university for a long time. Anakin and I still call him our uncle."

"Also a person to avoid mentioning criminal activity to?" Cody prompts.

"Well... no, but only because I don't think he'd care. The man is, forgive me, more of a 'walking sweatervest' than I am. He's a very bland and unassuming man. He once described himself as the background character of the soap opera that is my family's existence."

"Sounds like a charmer."

"Oh, he's very kind and clever, and witty as well. I adore him, and he really is family. He's just also very, very normal. Not boring, but..." Obi-Wan trails off and shrugs helplessly. "He's an editor for an agricultural research journal. Also not someone I anticipate us running into."

"Noted."

"Right, so, Qui-Gon dealing poorly with his grief didn't involve much drinking, but there were a few months of him trying to... lose himself in the pleasures of the flesh?" Obi-Wan tries, and then deflates at the look on Cody's face. "He was slagging around. Shmi got pregnant with Anakin, who was born when I was sixteen. Shared custody at first, Qui-Gon got him weekends and every other holiday, that sort of thing, and then they got married because they actually did like each other well enough, and it was easier on the taxes."

"So Shmi is stepmother number two."

"Shmi is stepmother number two, yes." Obi-Wan sketches in Anakin and Shmi. "About nine and a half years after Anakin was born, Shmi and Qui-Gon were in a car accident with... well, it later turned out it wasn't an accident, there was a hitman called Maul involved, he's actually Ventress's second cousin or something, I don't know. Grandfather handled most of that problem. Qui-Gon died, Shmi was in intensive care, and I got custody of Anakin as his nearest adult relative. We weren't very close before that, because I was off at university by the time he was old enough to form memories, but that changed once he started living with me. I more or less raised him as a single parent from that point."

"This is why he jokes that you're like a father to him."

"Precisely," Obi-Wan says. "Shmi took about a year to recover enough to move again, and grandfather covered the costs. She still had to live with a dedicated carer and attend daily physical therapy. At that physical therapy, she met Cliegg Lars, whose son Owen was also a patient there. They hit it off, and three years later, they married. When Anakin refers to his stepfamily he's talking about the Lars out in Nevada."

"Nevada?"

"They have a farm. A very, very normal one. We don't drag them into our activities, unless we have an at-risk person who needs a safe house." Obi-Wan pauses, and then decides this really needs to be stressed. "This is important to me and Anakin, that we don't get them involved unless there's absolutely no other choice. Shmi's been through a lot, and the Lars are busy enough running the farm."

"Works for me," Cody says. "We've got enough safe houses that it shouldn't be an issue. I'm guessing this story doesn't end there, though."

Obi-Wan grimaces. "My own love life has been... a bit of a mess."

"I already know about Kryze, at least."

There's that. "I was temporarily engaged to a friend, Siri Tachi, shortly after high school. We were in a relationship, but this was mostly something done to appease a relative of hers that was getting overbearing to the point of absurdity, and she couldn't just cut them off. We broke off the engagement after the relative passed, and we're still friends."

He notes that down, then adds the other embarrassment of his early years. "First marriage was actually a drunken joke between myself and my best friend when we were in college. We got it annulled a few months later because we just didn't have time to drop by the courthouse before then, and he's actually engaged to Asajj now."

"Asajj?" Cody asks, watching in fascination as Obi-Wan tries to mark in both his own short marriage and the newer, long-term engagement without crossing any lines. He settles for just writing the name twice and including an asterisk with 'this is the same person.'

"Ventress," Obi-Wan clarifies. "Yeah, Quinlan's a fun guy. His little sister, Aayla, treats Anakin like a beloved younger cousin."

"Are they also off-limits for criminal activity?"

"No, Aayla's the one that taught Ahsoka how to vent-crawl," Obi-Wan says. "And I'm pretty sure Quinlan has contacts in every major government branch, criminal organization, and Fortune 500 company on the planet. I reach out to them regularly."

"Resources, then."

Obi-Wan nods. "Some time later, I married Satine. We had a son; you've met Korkie. We split due to incompatibility a year and change before Qui-Gon's death. Satine doesn't engage in criminal activity, but Bo-Katan is..."

"I've met Bo-Katan. I know what she's like, Obi. You don't have to explain."

"She works with Maul sometimes."

"...the man who killed your father?"

"Yes. It's all very stupid and convoluted." Obi-Wan still writes her in. "So, that's them. Korkie goes to boarding school, and I try not to involve him in anything. Anakin and Ahsoka like to teach him self-defense and the like, but Satine is adamant that he stay unaware of my less legal dealings until he's an adult."

Cody shrugs. "Makes sense. Is that every--wait, no, Skywalker's married."

Obi-Wan grins. "Yes, and Padme's got twins on the way."

"I was there when he told us," Cody says drily. "He was very loud about it. Okay, how does Ahsoka fit in?"

"Hold on, I forgot Beru," Obi-Wan mutters. "Owen's fiancee. Same rules as the Lars. Okay, you asked about Ahsoka. Right. So. Um."

He dithers. Cody waits for him, and then Obi-Wan just gives up. "Ahsoka, dear, would you like to explain how you joined the family, so to speak?"

Ahsoka looks up from whatever she and the boys are doing--there are multiple beer glasses and straws and duct tape involved, and Obi-Wan doesn't really want to know--and then flips off the table and over to Obi-Wan and Cody. She looks over the family tree chart, and then says, "Oooh, did you tell him about the cult?"

"You were in a cult?" Cody demands.

"No, Komari was. She was head priestess or something. I dunno, it's why she's in prison and stuff."

"I did not tell him about the cult," Obi-Wan mutters, already regretting this. "The Bando Gora aren't a problem anymore. I've already gotten to explaining how you and Anakin know each other."

Ahsoka rolls her eyes, steals his pen, and starts sketching in around Quinlan's name, over by Asajj since Obi-Wan's section is too crowded. "Okay, so, Quinlan's adopted. His dad is Tholme, and Tholme's dad is Plo Koon. Plo Koon is good friends with my Auntie, Shaak Ti, who raised me. They live next door to each other, out in the country, and I'd play in his yard a lot, because he had puppies, and he took me to visit his bees. Whenever Auntie needed a babysitter, she asked Quinlan or Aayla to do it since she knew and trusted them, and Aayla needed pocket money."

"This is so unnecessarily complicated," Cody mutters.

"It is!" Ahsoka chirps. Her grin is far too sharp. "So, this one time, Aayla was watching me when I was fourteen, and she was just helping me with my physics homework. BAM, the door slams open, and in stumbled Skyguy with his arm missing. I've never met him before, and my first introduction is him shortly after he's gotten an unplanned amputation."

Anakin, on the other side of the room, giggles. Obi-Wan just sighs. The Fett brothers appear to be in the land of 'horrified fascination.'

Ahsoka revels in it. "There's blood everywhere, I'm screaming, Aayla's panicking, Anakin's halfway to unconscious and insisting we can't call the hospital, and nobody can get Obi-Wan on the phone. Quinlan's in another country, and Auntie Shaak and Uncle Plo are at a movie, so they've both got their cellphones off. Tholme was faking his death at that point to get away from an incident with the Irish Mob, so we didn't even try him."

"What the actual fuck," Rex breathes.

Ahsoka continues with relish. "We get Bant to pick up, and she's there an hour later with Padme, because Padme knows how to drive the way Skyguy does, and the entire drive there is just Auntie Bant on speakerphone telling Aayla how to stop the bleeding and get him stabilized while Padme's screaming at traffic at the top of her lungs."

"I owe Aayla a fruit basket," Anakin muses aloud. "The anniversary of her saving my life is coming up, it's warranted."

"Five years, baby!" Ahsoka crows. She fist-pumps.

Obi-Wan just drops his head into his hands. "You're killing me, children."

Anakin shrugs, grinning. "You know, I think Fett Senior might have been involved in that fight."

"My shitty dad cut off your arm?" Rex demands.

"No, I think he was busy fighting the Interpol guy," Anakin says. "But he was definitely there. I think. Blood loss kinda got to me after a bit, but I'm pretty sure Jango Fett was there, and also Boba might've been hiding in the getaway car?"

"I need another glass," Cody mutters. He doesn't stand up, though.

"Wait," Rex says. "So who cut off your arm?"

Anakin shrugs with an unsure noise. "Someone tried to convince me it was Grandpa Yan, but he was in the middle of a court case in Italy for some kind of parole violation when it happened, so he had an alibi."

"...did he actually violate parole?" Cody asks, and Obi-Wan thinks he looks like he doesn't know if he actually wants an answer.

Ahsoka shrugs. So does Anakin. Obi-Wan carefully looks at a spot behind Cody, and doesn't explain anything about wine tastings used as covers for illicit arms deals.

"The arm?" Rex prompts, sounding a little desperate to get back to the question he likely thinks is the most important.

"I still say it was Skeevy Sheev," Ahsoka chimes in.

"It wasn't Palpatine," Anakin snaps.

"Your creepy older friend who took you to operas and gives you fancy gifts and knows way too much about swords who was conveniently there to talk to the police and cover for you so you didn't get arrested for getting in the middle of a gang war in the first place, yes," Ahsoka says, dropping into a chair and sighing dramatically. "The guy who definitely hasn't been trying to convince you for a year and change that your wife is cheating on you with your older brother."

"Ahsoka!"

"What? He is."

"Anakin," Rex says, "your life sounds like a trainwreck."

"I'm not going to assume a frail, elderly man cut my arm off!" Anakin protests. "Even if he wanted to, he doesn't exactly have the muscle for it!"

"Grandfather's older," Obi-Wan points out, even though he knows it won't help. "And he definitely still could."

"Ha!" Ahsoka shouts.

"He could have hired someone?" Cody suggests. "Doesn't need to do it himself, if he has enough money."

Obi-Wan has a sneaking suspicion that Cody is deliberately stirring the pot as revenge for Anakin sending him eighty-seven cat memes inside an hour during last night's dinner.

"You all suck," Anakin declares. "Also, what the hell do you mean 'knows way too much about swords,' Ahsoka? You know way too much about swords!"

"Yeah, but I'm like ninety-percent sure that his antiques are Prussian and mid-century German military officer dress uniform relics, and pairing that with the Nazi pistols he's got on display--"

"He's just a history buff! And his family's German, of course he prioritizes that region, it's not like he doesn't have Russian or French or English antiques in there too, it's all sides of the war and--"

"I'm just saying he's almost definitely sending me sketchy glances like he thinks I'm planning to steal the silver on the three occasions you've had me with you when you stop by, and I'm pretty sure it's got less to do with my criminal record and more to do with me being, you know, not white."

Anakin looks ready to blow, so Obi-Wan interrupts. "Ahsoka, you were explaining how Anakin passing out on Aayla and scaring us all half to death led to your friendship?"

Ahsoka blinks at him, and then sticks her tongue out at Anakin and turns back to the chart. "So basically, Skyguy had to recuperate in Uncle Plo's living room for a week or two, and I kept showing up to bother him because he was bored and nobody would give him a laptop for 'security reasons,' because he had to lay low and stuff. He made me help him sketch out designs for a prosthesis and do all the writing for the math he had to do for the 3D printer, and we got to chatting."

Ahsoka hops up and back onto a table, legs swinging below her. "I decided he was cool and started following him around while he was getting used to only having one hand, mostly because I was bored. He showed me how to hotwire a car, and explained the best places to put a bug if you were looking to make it sneaky, and he picked my pocket to show off so many times when he was walking around Uncle Plo's house that I made him teach me that, too. And, uh, then Aayla found out and they got into a shouting match about it and decided they both needed to teach me parkour so I could get out of any mess I got myself into, since I was obviously going to follow them into a life of crime."

"And you did," Anakin says, far too proudly. "You're the best thief in this half of the country."

"Only because Aayla moved out east."

Anakin rolls his eyes and pulls Ahsoka into his side, digging his knuckles into her skull. "Best thief! You are the best thief! Be proud of yourself!"

"Let go!"

"Never!"

Obi-Wan sighed heavily and rubbed at his forehead. "Children, please."

"You're not my dad," Ahsoka growls out at him. "Skyguy, I'm going to bite you!"

"Good luck, the only arm you can access is the one that's going to break your teeth."

Ahsoka shrieks in outrage and stomps on Anakin's instep.

It's almost funny, for all that Obi-Wan's seen it play out a million times before, but the really interesting part is seeing Rex's look of fond dismay.

Obi-Wan thinks he might be adding a branch out to the Fetts soon. He's not actually sure if Rex is interested in Anakin or Ahsoka, and he's smack dab between them in age, so that's not a help either, but... well. The expression is familiar enough.

"Please tell me you don't match-make," Cody mutters to him.

"No, I plan to let the pieces fall where they will," Obi-Wan responds, just as low, and far more amused. "I'm simply trying to predict where those landings are to be."

Cody looks at him, and then back at the roughhousing trio, and sighs heavily. "You know, I really didn't think that you technically being minor royalty was going to be the least convoluted thing in your story, Obi-Wan."

He laughs, because it's true. "I'm first in line to inherit the title, since Rael denounced his claim. Nim isn't interested, and Qui-Gon's dead, so... I'm next."

Cody makes a face. "Delightful. I'm guessing that's not a connection we can safely make use of."

"No more than the Kryze or Naberries, I'm afraid." Obi-Wan claps him on the shoulder. "Chin up, I've plenty others in the metaphorical rolodex, all far less legitimate and far more amenable to work with our little outfit."

"Rolodex, really?" Cody snorts. "You're not that old."

Obi-Wan smiles winningly. "You don't know how old I am, Cody. All my IDs are fake."

"Anakin's twenty-four, and you're sixteen years older than him, going by the story you just told me," Cody points out. "I do know how to do basic math, Obi-Wan."

"I had to try," Obi-Wan admits. "I threw a lot of information at you all at once; I'd hoped you missed some of the ages in there."

"I have eight brothers," Cody scoffs. "And literally dozens of cousins, plus niblings, uncles, aunts, and so on. I have experience on this."

"If I asked you to list of the age of every single relative you have, you'd be able to do it?"

"Do you want me to draw a chart? I can draw a chart."

Obi-Wan can't help but laugh. "I'd be delighted, my dear."

Cody rolls his eyes, but Obi-Wan thinks--it's hard to tell in the dimmed lights of the closed bar--that there's a hint of a blush on the man's face. Obi-Wan lets himself slouch to the side, drops his head to rest on one fist, indolent debauchery in every line of his body. Cody does his best to ignore him, but Obi-Wan knows how to smile lazily and blink slowly and draw a man in.

(The whole 'indolent debauchery in every line of his body' phrasing is Anakin's, from back when he was a teenager trying to read highbrow literature to impress a cute girl... and to come up with new insults for his older brother.)

"So," Cody says, with a cough meant to somehow distract Obi-Wan from whatever's showing on the man's face. "Why, uh, why is your grandfather on terrorist watchlists?"

"Well, he didn't initially do anything," Obi-Wan says. "He was just a gay man who didn't hide it quite well enough, and had too much money and too white a face for someone to just call the cops on a faulty report. The Red Scare was technically over by that point, I think, but if a few people made suggestions that he was more loyal to the country that gave him a noble title than to the United States... he received a few warnings, of course, and it could have all blown over..."

"But?"

"But my grandfather is not a man to do things by halves, and instead decided that if the government was to list him as a threat, then he would oblige and make himself a threat," Obi-Wan finishes. "Living up to their labels, rolling with the assumptions, whatever you'd like to call it. It all irked him, and so he made some incredibly questionable decisions to make the government's lives harder. Some weren't bad, like donating to anti-war foundations that were protesting the Gulf War and the interventions in Yugoslavia, that sort of thing, and some were... nobody really looks well on gunrunning, you know."

"For fuck's sake..."

"Indeed," Obi-Wan chuckles. "Ironically, he has minimal opinion on the optimal form of economics, for all that virulent xenophobia and the remnants of anti-communism were involved in the whole mess. He just wanted to create problems for the people that were causing him problems."

Cody shakes his head. "I want to judge that, but you've met my father."

"Jango Fett is, indeed, also not a man to do things by halves," Obi-Wan agrees, attempting to nod gravely but breaking into a smile at the end. "That man is absurd."

"At least he's not dragging Boba into it anymore," Cody mutters. He drags over the fresh sheet of paper and pen that Obi-Wan offers him. "Okay, right, let's start with Jaster..."