#don’t mind me i’m just in my bellarke feels

[star-kovs]

I’m still not over Clarke talking to Bellamy over the radio every day for 6 years. He was the person she wanted to talk to most that whole time and it kept her sane to keep radioing to the ring and hope someone could hear her.

And when they finally talk about it, he reassures her so sincerely that it’s not crazy. Then to lighten things up, he calls it a little pathetic. He was able to get Clarke to laugh about something so serious and traumatizing right after because they’re still really good friends, despite everything. Despite him basically moving on with Echo on the ring, especially when he thought Clarke had died in Praimfaya. Despite the tension of the two of them getting reacquainted after the 6 years of separation and Bellamy locking her in that room.

And then you tell me they didn’t end up together???

Not to mention his devastation when Clarke “died” and Josephine took over her body and the fact that the only people on the walls in her mind were her loved ones like Lexa, her last love and BELLAMY. And the way he fought to bring her back declaring “I’M not losing her again.” and giving her CPR and the relief and the way they clung to each other when she came back… brb gonna go cry over them again

[cs-and-bellarke]

Bellarke- Love isn't weakness

Ao3, FF

Prev / Next Part

Chapter 12

Bellamy's P.O.V

“What are you writing princess?” I ask when I see her put her book down.

“The story of my life” she tells me.

“Is it for school”

“No, it’s too sad for that, but some of the things Murphy doesn’t even know about so…”

“Would you let me read it?”

“Maybe one day, I have to get home...I’ll see you later”she says and gets up to leave.

“Yeah I’ll see you later” I say as she leaves.

Something is going on with her and I want her to be able to come to me when she needs to talk to someone, I know she has been hurt by so many people in her life and I just want to be the one to hold her and make her believe that everything will be okay. I have deep feelings for Clarke and when O said that she didn’t mind if me and Clarke dated, I was happy and yet nothing has happened because I know if I asked her out she will say she is not ready to be in a relationship and to be honest neither am I. Of course I have feelings for her but only one person who knows is O and she just wants me to be happy, I was on the couch and the only thing that is on my mind is Clarke writing in that damn book. I’ve noticed that she takes that book everywhere she goes and she is always writing. I know it’s not a diary but it’s some kind of journal maybe about her life. 

Clarke’s P.O.V

Bellamy keeps wanting to know what I have been writing in my book but if he knew what I was writing I think he would give me pity then hate me because I talked about him being a player and how I don’t want to get my heart broken. I do have feelings for Bellamy but I have to listen to Lexa and somehow make up how I treated her before she died, Love is weakness and I have to stick by having only one love in my life and that is the love I have for Murphy and only him. 

*in Clarke’s journal*

Back to the fact of my feelings for Bellamy Blake and how I want to have him be with me and no one else. And I want to be able to tell him about my past and for him to understand that I am the way I am because of how I grew up, but I don’t want his pity and if he knows and doesn’t give me pity then maybe I can see a future with him. 

That will never happen but I wish it would...he’s a good friend and if he wasn’t a player then maybe he would be a good person for me to be with...just maybe. Being around him makes me happy and safe for some reason, having him around keeps me sane I guess you could say. Bellamy Blake is so sweet and kind to me and it makes me feel even more for him then I already do, I don’t know why he is sweet to me and kind and I just can’t be sure he won’t just want me because he thinks I can give him a good time. 

He can have anyone he wants and yet he is being so sweet to me and I didn’t even do anything to him for him to be nice or anything like that. Sometimes he confuses me as to what he wants or why he does some of the things he does, maybe I should talk to Octavia about it or maybe even Murphy because Murphy and Bellamy are like best friends. Bellamy is probably wondering why Murphy is so protective of me but there’s a reason why people don’t know Murphy is my brother, people don’t know because Murphy is not the best person so when it comes to the law so as to prevent people thinking I’ll do the same thing we didn’t tell people we were related. 

So when people see Murphy protecting me they think we are either together or sleeping together which is disgusting because he is MY BROTHER of all people...and I bet Bellamy thinks the same thing knowing him. Sitting alone at home gets people thinking that maybe there is more to life than what high school shows us and teaches us over the years...life is more about what they put in movies and what they say and teaches us in school no matter what grade you are in. 

I’m hoping that Bellamy will change within this last year of high school.

*End of the writing*

After writing what I’ve been feeling I chose to take a nap because writing made me tired, after about an hour and half of sleeping I got up and looked at my phone. I had 2 texts from Bellamy and 6 from Octavia.

(B=Bellamy, O=Octavia, C=Clarke)

B- hey I was wondering what you were up to.

B- tonight?

O- Clarke, Bellamy is being mean and won't tell me what's wrong with him

O- can you ask him what’s wrong with him?

O- Please.

O- CLARKE ANSWER ME PLZ.

O- I’m sorry for texting so much but Bell is pissing me off

O- help me.

After reading all of O’s texts I decided to call Bellamy to see why he was wondering what I was doing tonight. I have nothing to do like always so why not go somewhere with the one person I like hanging out with the most other than Octavia, don’t get me wrong I love hanging out with O but sometimes she is a little too much for me to handle within one week. 

[otp-armada]

The 100 Rewatch 2023 Season 1, Episode 1 “Pilot“

Alrighty, live-blogging The 100. If only 2020!Me could see me now.

First off, let me gather myself.

I’ll preface this by saying I’ve recently gotten obsessed with The Rookie shortly before embarking on this rewatch. I’ve forgotten how thrilling it is to fall head over heels for a new ship. Chenford has made me so deliriously ecstatic and in such good spirits that it triggered a sort of informal revival tour of my favorite ships. When the Bellarke compilation on YouTube came up next in queue, I chickened out just as quickly as the first ad popped up. Knowing how their story ends, I was afraid that Bellarke wouldn’t feel the same. That the ending would taint my memory of them upon revisitation.

All of which is to say, this rewatch should be an interesting experiment.

Alright, best get a wriggle on.

Oh, baby!Clarke. And just like that, I’m transported seven years ago to my dining table, where I first pressed “play” on a little CW show that would consume me.

100 years until the Earth is survivable again, eh? Killed everyone, huh? In roughly a year’s time, she’ll be the one thought to have perished in radiation.

“Reality sucks.” Babe, you don’t know the half of it.

The wristbands feel like an ancient relic.

It really has been such a long time since I watched season 1. I’m lost in time. At this point, it really does feel like your typical CW teen drama, and it’s such a strange thought, considering how long I’ve been holding onto the bulk of the narrative where it departed into its unique footprint.

“The rules have changed.” Because *I* made them change, is what’s left unspoken by Abby.

“Your instincts will tell you to take care of everybody else first...” Yep, two minutes in, and I’m emotional.

Baby!Delinquents!!!!

A good bedside manner, Jaha does not possess. There’s blunt and there’s brash, and he is solidly in the latter. The thing about juvenile delinquents? They’re KIDS. Sure, you’ve got the odd murderer in the ranks, but they are few and far in between a sea of children with offenses probably befitting a slight slap on the wrist, if that.

“Your records wiped clean.” Assuming the lab rats don’t expire from radiation upon arrival. Way to incentivize them. Little wonder Bellamy will so easily corral them into removing the wristbands.

For once, the fluke in the plan works to their advantage. If those kids had landed at Mount Weather as intended...*shudder*

Shut up, Finn.

100 + 1 - 2 = A landing party of 99. Check. 👍

“The air could be toxic.”

There they are. The chance encounter of the loves of my life. And of each other’s life.

I want to say something here about the Blake siblings, but I’m too preoccupied with internally screaming at the sight of my bby boy on my screen again.

Have I mentioned that I’m adrift in time??

Little do these three know how entangled their fates will be. From here on out, they will be the trio comprising the foundation of this entire saga. The trifecta.

“Like being the first person on the ground in 100 years.” “First one to touch the ground loses.” My oh my.

I AM AWASH IN NOSTALGIA

I WILL BE BLASTING RADIOACTIVE AFTER THIS EPISODE AND YES IT WILL BE STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT

Oh, back when it was all so simple...

I’m conflicted. I want the perfect marriage of this simplicity before the wars with S6 Bellarke at the helm. Basically, what season 7 should have been. Don’t we all? *sigh*

Finn is such a chameleon, it’s infuriating. He is whatever fantasy version he thinks will earn him brownie points with the pretty girl. I can’t believe there was a time when I didn’t mind him. He was every bit the textbook teen heartthrob with floofy hair I thought wouldn’t be so bad. Basically, this dude, with a slightly deceptive edge.

By now, Clarke and Wells had ingrained themselves into my heart. Too soon, you say? Perhaps. But it was always the logical, pragmatic, responsible characters I found myself leaning to. Always the ones I felt should be in charge.

You’ve been on the ground for a minute, Murphy, how’d you put together a posse already?

Poor Wells. He’s so sensible here, and he’s ignored because of the tall shadow his father casts. I do wonder the man Wells would have become had he lived. I’m not under any impression that he would be stagnantly stalwart. The axiom of a show continually striving to push its characters to the brink is that no one is incorruptible, even those we approximate most to pure cinnamon rolls. There is no such animal in this narrative.

“Do you think we care who’s in charge? We need to get to Mount Weather not because the Chancellor said so, but because the longer we wait, the hungrier we’ll get and the harder this’ll be. How long do you think we’ll last without those supplies? We’re looking at a 20-mile trek, ok? So if we want to get there before dark, we need to leave now.”

Bellamy knew. I don’t mean it in a “he was in love with her at first sight” kind of way. He correctly assessed her right here and then as one who could seize control as the de facto leader of the camp. And where would it put him and Octavia then, if the princess got her way, if the Ark came down as planned? No, what appears as attitude toward Clarke and Wells is a well thought-out ploy to wrestle the camp in his favor in their absence. And it worked.

Oh, right. I remember. Here’s the faux-hero complex that ingratiated Finn to my good side.

“Rescue me next.” Icky.

“I need to just do something crazy just because I can, and no one, including you, is gonna stop me.” You will not lack opportunity for craziness. One might say you will not miss any chance, including, but not limited to, tyranny. 

Oh, no. The evil black lightbulb is going off in Rebel!Bellamy’s head.

“Before you get any ideas, I don’t care.” You really should have stuck to these guns, Clarke.

“The Chancellor’s been shot.” *record scratch*

Jasper and Monty, precious, innocent beans. Before the world scarred them so badly. As close as brothers, who will one day branch off into diametrically oppositional philosophies about humanity and the meaning of life. One to nilihism, one to hope. 

“Being born.” Cue the bunker flashbacks. As many mistakes as she will make in her pursuit of agency, Octavia’s initial resentment toward the Ark cannot be blamed. By the laws of the Ark, she was born a criminal by virtue of existing. Lost her mother, displaced from her brother and her home, what little there was, and lost a year of her life, during which she could presume she’d be killed the moment the illusion of civility peeled away when she turned of age.

Weird the mutant monsters swiftly disappeared, but these kids had enough problems on their plate.

Though Abby will catch a lot of flak later on from the fandom, I hardly think anyone wouldn’t cheer her on in the pilot. I know I always have been. She’s on the praiseworthy delineation of “rebel.”

“He’s no one. A janitor.”

Good one, Shumway.

“Her mother kept her hidden for 16 years. Nearly a record.” I’m sorry? Nearly a record? What is the record for “longest hidden kid,” then?

I still take it with a grain of salt that Bellamy and Octavia would be the only siblings in 97 years on this orbiting hunk of metal. Presumably, there would be plenty more in Aurora’s predicament. Poor women from the lower classes with limited, if not scarce access to medical resources. Women who didn’t want to abort their second child. Mixed families. Multiple spouses, what with the death toll of a justice system embroiled in capital punishment. Step-children, half-siblings. It makes you wonder what kind of medieval laws an unforgiving society like the Ark would enact to ensure its rigid population control.

I will say the power struggle between Abby, Jaha, and Kane, with the morality conflicts emerging from the Ark, was what first drew me in to this show. The kids were...the teens from your average CW show on your average stilted CW pilot. The Ark adults were intriguing and provocative. For me, at least.

I have to hand it to Bellamy. Both he and Clarke know how to make compelling arguments for their causes. It’s a shame how Clarke’s station is her albatross (for the time being) when she has everyone’s best interest in mind. For once, Bellamy’s origin from Factory Station is his advantage. He can connect to these errant kids seeking freedom like Clarke cannot. It’s a good metaphor for how subversive the worlds of the Ark and Earth appear to be. Visually, yes, between the muted grays of space versus the bright colors of Earth, but also, the visages of emancipation and carte blanche versus confinement and restraint between the adults and the kids.

And yet, while Bellamy offers the kids the allure of freedom, it’s really a facade as he cleverly maneuvers himself to the top just as the same as the leadership hierarchy he resents. Smart of him, until he runs afoul of a betrayed Murphy.

It’s funny how out-of-touch the adults are with the kids. Never does it occur to them that the kids they imprisoned are voluntarily removing the wristbands to escape the Ark’s reach until another kid clues Abby in.

“So that was the secret they locked you up to keep, why they kept you in solitary, floated your old man?” I know Finn’s laundry list of Clarke’s nightmares is for exposition, but it’s undermined when rattled off by this sleazebag with a poor attempt at compassion offered solely to charm her. In layman’s terms, shut up, Finn.

“My mother disagreed.” And it doesn’t occur to you that your mother may have been directly responsible for your father’s execution? It HAD to be Wells? I guess, had I been Clarke, it’s easier to blame him than to consider the horrifying reality of how Jake’s death came to be.

“We have to warn them.” “That’s what my father said.”

Once again, I am reminded of how little concerted effort Jason can put into a lot of these provisional relationships. Sometimes, the show skillfully communicates a layered storyline with very little footwork. Other times, it’s not so great.

Octavia had no way of knowing how deep the water was, monsters notwithstanding.

Our first foray into Jasper the Hero. It hurts already to think ahead to the hollow young man he’ll become when he can’t save the girl.

For a sea monster of that size, you’d think Octavia’s wounds would be larger. Like, a whole leg bitten off.

“Earth Day 2052″ I just noticed.

“Note to self: next time, save the girl.” Oh, you will, Monty.

Very evocative Lord of the Flies imagery.

“We can take care of ourselves, can’t we?” You are all a scrappy, resilient bunch, but you will soon find survival in this neck of the woods to be an uphill battle.

Love this exchange between Wells and Bellamy. Wells, of course, is right. Though Bellamy’s anger is not without reason. His argument is wrapped up in camp politics, but here we have a glimpse of the Bellamy who always tapped into his pain to persuade others to his side. The Bellamy who speaks from his heart, even when the message may be a little flawed in execution.

What about the kids whose loved ones remain on the Ark? How aren’t they hesitant about abandoning them?

Iconic.

Currently picturing Bob nursing a hangover for his Bellamy voice. Who knew alcohol could produce such beautiful results?

Do I detect a hint of wavering? I think I do. He knows Wells is right. Wise, even. He’s in too deep of this persona he thinks is crucial for his and Octavia’s protection to turn back now.

After years of watching the Bellamy we know and love, Baby!Bellamy is so jarring to revisit.

As is Kane.

“And I choose at every turn and at any cost to make sure that the human race stays alive.” “That’s the difference between us, Kane. I choose to make sure that we deserve to stay alive.” If nothing else the pilot did, it established our roadmap of the series in these three sentences. These two objectives have guided this story at each turn in equal measure. For Jason to claim at the very end that this story was only ever governed by cold and ruthless survival is a lie. Those of us who paid attention know it. It’s documented from the very first episode how these characters endeavor - strive - to aim for higher than the impossible decisions and questionable morality they are cornered into. The right ending of this narrative was to allow to finally achieve their second guiding principle. Let them use the hard-won lessons they’ve learned to build a golden age from out of the post-apocalypse. Let them LIVE.

Oh, what glory that bastard robbed from us.

Also, how the turntables with Kabby from now to their conclusions.

As pragmatic as Clarke is, she’s a dreamer. She’s always had such a wonderful vision of how beautiful the world could be. And I hate how often Jason stole her hope from her.

I forgot what unencumbered delight looked like on Clarke’s face.

Strictly speaking, I can’t say I shipped Finn and Clarke. I was very determined on my first viewing to not get sentimentally entangled with ships, knowing my penchant for walking away from shows when ships sink. (Oh, the irony.) I wanted to like this series. As I said, I was intrigued by the Ark arc. I was in it to see how things go. What I can say is I didn’t mind Finn and Clarke, as chosen apathy goes. Maybe a spark of ambivalence here and there before Raven shows up.

It’s disorienting to remember the Clarke so open to falling in love. Her primary directives are safety and obtaining the imperative amenities the kids need. But on a personal scale, after their immediate crises are solved, this Clarke wants to live.

“Now, you all think I’m a bad guy, but I’m the only one willing to do what it takes to save us.” Season 1 and Season 3 Bellamy will also believe the same, and time will humble both of these men.

“...and if I have to take us to a cosmic Adam and Eve, I will do it.” Serious nomon and nontu imagery whizzing through my brain of the various pairs symbolizing them. Kabby. Marper, paving the path for Book Two: “Everyone dies. Let’s show them how to live.” Bellarke, as nomon/nontu in its final form, representative of all the narrative’s themes. The story has always been, on some level, how their union saves the world.  

Even Russell and Simone, as the versions that Bellamy and Clarke could have been if they were without a moral compass.

Nomon/Nontu is a legacy, spanning generations and centuries, intrinsically tied to the fate of humanity and the Earth. Add it to the extensive list of themes forgotten by the outlier nameless season.

I should have realized the first time around how there was more to Bellamy than meets the eye when he didn’t kill Wells. Certainly would have been easier for him in terms of divesting himself of a political rival.

Speaking of, Kane must know how valuable a resource Abby is to the Ark, especially now when their home is dying a slow death. Was civil obedience really more vital to the sustainability of this place than what Abby could provide? It’s a big, fat no. Then again, these are the people who killed the engineer to their life support systems.

Well, at least one of them has sense.

We’re in agreement that the pilot episode is cheesy as hell. Exactly in the wheelhouse of 2010s!Me. It was perfect. Oh, what? Did you think I wasn’t going to let the next episode play, right there on the dining table in 2015? Jasper’s just got speared through the chest!!! They’re not alone!!!

Tagging the brilliant @sometimesrosy​ for revitalizing this beloved show for me from the depths

[kybee1497]

Fic tag game

Tagged by @dark-visitors (thanks Visi!!)

1) How many works do you have on Ao3?

75

2) What's your Ao3 word count?

300,411

3) What fandoms do you write for?

So so many, lol. Jatp, Wednesday, descendants, do revenge, first kill, Batman (eventually, I have plans okay I just haven’t like done it yet). I’ve also written one fic each for bridgerton and wynonna earp.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Season of Woe (Wenclair - Wednesday)

Don’t talk to me or my scary goth gf ever again (Wenclair - Wednesday)

Bat vs. bug (calliete - first kill)

Fire in my blood (Wenclair - Wednesday)

Hate to say I told you so (Kathony - Bridgerton)

5) Do you respond to comments?

Yes? I really try to, I’m just horrifically bad at actually getting to each comment. I think overall I respond to like 50% of comments in a super nonsensical order.

6) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ha. Hahahahaha I’ve actually been yelled at many many times for this fic and it was so so worth it

Always by your side

Also

Never saw you coming (I’ll never be the same) Aka Luke leaves

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh fuck idk, I love me some fluff. If we’re going purely based off of soft fluffy vibes it’s laughing at clouds so dark above, the suns in my heart (I’m ready for love) or dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat

8) Do you get hate on fics?

No thank god, I would cry for days

9) Do you write smut? What kind?

… maybe so. I’m a kink girlie what can I say.

10) Do you write cross-overs?

No? No, not yet anyways.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

12) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes! I wrote a Bridgerton fic with my beloved wife Rach @itsthebooks (whomst almost divorced me last week but she did not file the paperwork so it’s all good 😂) for the bridgerton troped round last year. I am a menace and would not shut up about this fic until it was written. It was a lot of fun tho!!

Hate to say I told you so

13) What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh god most of them. The adhd hypefocus gremlin is a bitch and a half when she changes fixations. I really want to finish promise me you’ll catch me but I’ve been stalled out on the third chapter for like 2 years. I also want to finish here we go again but I’m pretty sure I wrote myself into a corner and idk how to fix it without trashing it and rewriting and I don’t have the patience for that.

14) What's your all-time favourite ship?

Again adhd hyperfocus gremlin rules my heart and mind so it depends on the day tbh. In terms of longest reigning ships it’s jukebox and bellarke. Currently I’m obsessed with all things batfam (familial/platonic obvi) and DCU

15) What are your writing strengths?

I’m really good at diving into a characters head and the way they think. One of my fave Fics, writing wise doesn’t have any dialogue or specific action, it’s more character study than anything else. It’s really easy for me to just write and be able to flow through memory’s and thoughts and feelings and how the character experiences the world. I’m sure there’s a word for it I’m just not remembering but it’s my favorite kind of writing

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

Um probably that I get really bogged down in action heavy scenes, I focus too much on where they’re bodies physically are and what movements they’re making and it takes me a billion years to write and I think I put in too much detail but I never know how to trim it down???

17) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

There’s a reason I’ve only failed 4 classes in my life and 2 were math and 2 were a foreign language. It is a struggle for me. I don’t want to have to work that hard to write and also I’m afraid of fucking it up cause google translate is not reliable. I’ll do the occasional word or term of endearment but that’s pretty much it. Usually if the characters are speaking another language I’ll mention it in story and then write the dialogue in English

18) First fandom you wrote for?

Jatp

19) Favourite fic you've ever written?

No, you can’t make me 🥺

Always by your side cause I’m so fucking proud of the pain I unleashed

As if it’s really that easy to get over you (just snap your fingers) the aforementioned fic with very little dialogue or action, just vibes and character study into drea from do revenge

20) What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

I have no idea, I’m vaguely hoping to rewrite here we go again one day but tbh I barely have the focus to fics the first time.

Tagging: @itsthebooks @a-tomb-with-a-view @wr0temyway0ut @thatbitchmabel @fandomscraziness22 @angelofarts and anyone else that wants to do it, I’m so tired and totally blanking rn

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 16: Valentines BTS

Behind the scenes on my Bellarke Valentines fic, Wonder, today, because I am feeling sort of down, and not introspective.

My original notes:

So what defines an early relationship?

Figuring out PDA boundaries

Wanting to be around each other all the time

Telling your friends or, if already in the same friend group, letting friends know and them adjusting to you being a couple

Romantic gestures (and them feeling a little awkward maybe?)

Sweet kisses

This is appearing in my mind as a friends-to-lovers, in-the-same-friend-group scenario. A staple for me, which is perhaps why I’m defaulting to it. That doesn’t mean it’s the best thing, I just… have such a hard time imagining Bellarke as not best friends first, because of canon being the way it is. I like the idea of exploring that moment when they let themselves admit why they keep having soft moments together, all the unspoken, etc. Now it is out in the open! And what then!

Maybe I don’t want to do this as a modern AU. Maybe I want to do this is as a canon AU where they are co-leaders for a while and then stuff happens, building on all that canon trauma etc. That would be a particularly interesting transition. But in terms of what sort of setting I want to describe, I feel like urban or semi-urban drab winter is kind of calling to me.

That’s the other thing I’m seeing. It’s February. It’s gray. It’s slushy. It’s cold.

I don’t know. I’m really torn.

Either way, I want them coming from a situation where they had both resigned themselves to always being an almost and now they are an actual. It felt like this would never come! Will it live up to the expectation? Do they even know how to do this?

I want this to be very different from their past relationships, whether it’s canon or AU: more intense, without these built in expirations or safety catches. I think they both tend to pick people who are very safe because there’s no way it could work (Clarke) or the person is not a challenge (Bellamy).

There’s something intriguing about how fucking extra they are all the time in canon, and playing with the part of their story that is just routine, everyday life, and love.

I’m really torn on the setting, which is of course going to determine a lot. I know I want a long-term friendship between them, very long term, and for them to be the leaders (either literally or in some other modern au sense) of their friend group. Lean in hard to that co-leaders kink. I want a lot of emphasis on their newfound sweetness with each other. The sense that they have always been very honest but hidden this one thing (their romantic feelings) and now that’s out, a new level of honesty unlocked so to speak. The awkwardness but loveliness of it. Navigating the new rules.

That’s the theme basically: navigating the new rules.

I also want a scene where they fall asleep together cuddled up and then they feel sort of awkward in a way they wouldn’t have before because is it going to look like they’re fucking? IS this too intimate by their own standards? Is the other one comfortable? Is this going to lead to more?

I am incapable of writing people who aren’t awkward and uncertain of their relationships looooooooooooool. A me problem. Let’s not overdo it or anything.

I’m not sure how much more detail I can get here without picking my overall universe. When I think about the Bellarke relationship, I think canon. When I think about the specific moments, I think modern au. Chilling with the gang at the coffee shop. Falling asleep on the couch.

[trippymockingquake]

Okay HSMTMTS fans, shippers, etc.. I’m calling on all the WILDCATS!

You can like ship. You can like a character. You can hate a ship. You can hate a character. But STOP sending HATE and DEATH THREATS to the actors that play said characters. They are NOT the CHARACTER. I repeat THEY ARE NOT THE CHARACTER.

To all the PORTWELL and RINA and RINI shippers STOP going at each other’s throats. SOME of you yes SOME of you are boarder line cyber bullying others the last time I saw that was when CLEXA and BELLARKE were going at it. BELLARKE was canon in the books and CLEXA was canon in the show. If YOU, yes YOU do not like that your SHIP ended or your character left the show guess what you can do. You can write fanfiction. I do it on another blog. But also ao3, fanfiction.net, here on tumblr, or you can create your own free website for it.

I didn’t really ship anyone in the show I enjoy seblos and redlyn (not sure how it’s spelled) but portwell grew on me in season 2 in season 1 it was rina but after half the season I didn’t care anymore. I HATE Ricky with a burning passion and not because of Joshua Bassett or anything but because Ricky reminds me of myself and I do have to say it was sort of annoying that he went after someone who was in a relationship (nini). But I don’t hate Joshua. I do however have a hatred for Olivia Rodrigo and to answer why, I literally don’t know I just do, so by default I ended up disliking nini but even she grew on me. Nini not Olivia. But I’m not sending her hate mail or death threats the same with Josh. I’m literally just now getting more into other projects Sofia is in and Matt and while I too hated EJ at first for all the bad things he did I didn’t send hate or death threats to Matt. When Gina confessed her attraction to Ricky during season 2 when we got the flashback I hated that but again I didn’t send hate mail or death threats to her. When Maddox got on my nerves during this season I didn’t send horrible stuff to Saylor or Julia or Meg. I don’t know how Adrian (jet) is doing on that front or Dara for that matter. You all have got to STOP, just like YOU don’t want people messing with your mental health and sending you stuff like that YOU guys have to STOP messing with there’s and each other’s. When Falcon and the winter soldier came out the actor who plays John walker got so much hate mail and death threats because of the character he played and ultimately it started to effect him. So words do hurt and they are powerful so please be mindful. Each one of our HSMTMTS actors are young and they go through the same things some of us go through. I know this was a lot to read but PLEASE learn to separate characters and actors. And PLEASE STOP putting each other down and bullying each other. I’m not saying you can’t be mad or hurt but if you are that upset about your character leaving or a ship not going quite your way write fanfiction on wattpad, ao3, fanfiction.net, or anything because you probably aren’t alone and there are a lot of people I’m sure who would love to read it or also write but they don’t know how or how to go about it. If you have any questions on where to go with your fanfiction feel free to dm me. If you want to vent about something even if it’s about a different show or just because you want to talk to a stranger feel free to dm me. I struggle with depression on a daily so I know what it’s like to just need to vent. If you want to get what I think on characters or on why I hate some characters or try to get me to like Olivia feel free to dm me. If you’re a senior in high school and you’re concerned about your future please dm me I’ve been there and my whole job last year was to help high schoolers figure it out. I keep saying dm because I don’t know if I have my asks up to where you can do anonymous. Stay safe.

[multismileee]

When other characters finds out about certain Buddie pLaToNiC moments... then what?? [A thread of sorts]

When Ana finds out about Eddie literally changed his will so that Buck is Christopher’s legal guardian if anything happens to him then what?

When Taylor finds out that Buck ignored his own trauma of being crushed by a ladder truck to go rescue Eddie from the sniper then what?

When Ana finds out that Eddie looks at her in disdain after Carla says, “But just be sure you’re following your heart and not Christopher’s okay?” which is a clear contrast to when Eddie was looking at Buck (fondly) when Chris and Buck was decorating gingerbread houses during the Christmas time, then what?

When Taylor finds out that Buck tried to dig up the ground with his bare hands when Eddie was under the well, and only stopped because Bobby physically pulled him back then what?

When Ana and Taylor find out that Buck lived in Eddie’s house while he was in the hospital to take care of Christopher because that’s what Eddie would’ve wanted then what? 

When Ana finds out that Eddie said to Buck after the tsunami, “There is no one I trust more with my son than you” while looking him in the eyes then what?

When Taylor finds out that Buck didn’t correct the lady at the christmas tree place when she said “You two have an adorable son” alluding that Buck and Eddie are together then what?

When Ana finds out that Eddie automatically asked if Buck was okay when he saw that Buck had blood on him even though he was literally shot then what?

When Taylor finds out that the reason Buck put himself in danger at the crane was because he couldn’t deal with someone getting hurt like Eddie and felt like he couldn’t protect him, then what? 

When Ana finds out about how jealous Eddie was that Buck asked Taylor to be his partner for the treasure hunt and basically ignored him while he didn’t even think to ask Ana to participate then what?

When Taylor finds out that Buck was most affected by Eddie ignoring him and yelling at him after the lawsuit then anyone else then what?

When Ana finds out that after their first meeting where Eddie yelled at her for Christopher getting hurt, he trusted Buck’s skateboard that he built for Christopher without any doubt then what?

When Taylor finds out that Buck is the one who introduced Eddie to Carla, and helped him out then what?

When Ana finds out that Eddie was adamant about getting Buck to like him on the first day, and even trusted him after knowing him for a few minutes with his life then what?

When Taylor and Ana find out that their boyfriends don’t fully trust them, thus the fact that Eddie thought Ana was snooping when she found the go fund me page and Buck thinking Taylor was there for a story instead of checking up on him, then what?

When Taylor and Ana find out that a lot of people from Becca’s live stream that one time when they helped her get a maggot out of her fave shipped them then what?

When Eddie realizes that when Bobby said that he might miss something right in front of him, he actually was talking about Buck then what?

When Buck realizes that when that old man told him that “you don’t find love, you make it” that that’s exactly what he did with Eddie then what? 

When Maddie realizes that her joke about “So does this boy crush on Eddie mean you’re finally over Abby?” is a little more accurate than she thought then what?

When Chim realizes that Eddie’s advice about not having time and to tell the person right away if you love them is something Eddie should follow himself then what?

When Maddie realizes that Buck saying ““This is Eddie’a house, I’m not really a guest” was because he practically lives there and feels comfortable there then what? 

When Maddie realizes that Buck automatically assuming she was talking about Eddie when she said “he is so cute” is because he knows how attractive Eddie is then what?

When Taylor and Ana realize that their boyfriends are quite literally co-parenting a child together then what?

When Ana realizes that when she said ““I know you haven’t had anyone for a long time” that it isn’t true because he has Buck, then what? 

When Bobby realizes exactly what all the small gestures, eye contact, and mind reading means between Buck and Eddie then what?

When Taylor finds out that Christopher felt  comfortable enough that when he’s mad at his dad, he calls and Uber and runs away to Buck’s place then what?

When Ana finds out that the only reason Christopher gave her a chance is because Buck promised to not go anywhere no matter what then what?

When Taylor finds out that Buck is fine with being called Evan by Eddie even though he hates it by anyone else other than Maddie then what? 

When Ana finds out that Eddie said, ““because Evan, you act like you’re expendable. But you’re wrong” at the hospital after telling Buck about the legal guardianship then what?

When Chim and Hen realize that Buck and Eddie’s comment about there having to have a good and bad cop is because they do it to Christopher then what?

And now the ones I hope for:

When Taylor realizes that Buck and her work better as friends and they mutually break up then what?

When Ana realizes that Eddie likes the idea of her and that they have the chemistry of a rock together then what?

When the firefam finally gets to see their favorite oblivious idiots get together then what?

When Hen most likely has a bet going on at the firehouse about when they get together and her and Athena win it then what?

When Bobby reveals that he had the relationship papers sitting at his desk for a while for Buck and Eddie then what?

When the 126 realize that Eddie and Buck weren’t dating when they came to visit Texas only seemed like it then what?

When TK realizes that Buck was never flirting with him because he only has eyes on Eddie then what?

When the girls who got turned down because as Eddie states “they’re not my type” and Buck’s “mine either, not anymore” is because of their type is each other, then what?

When Eddie and Buck finally get their heads out their rear ends and finally get together in season 5 then what? The answer to that last bullet: I literally scream at the top of my lungs and dance around my house!!! Or [if] Buddie doesn’t become endgame and I realize that I went through another Bellarke situation... I will lose my mind and then sent a very opinated email to the producers.

Okay good night now, I literally wrote this at 1 am instead of sleeping lol!

[she-who-the-river-could-not-hold]

Creative Journal [July 18]

inspired by @kinetic-elaboration who made a post a bit ago about sharing updates throughout July about what we’re working on! It felt good to compile my thoughts into one place as I think about what I’m trying to accomplish!

Taking a creative hibernation has been one of the best things I could have done for myself! But it also means now that I’m wanting to get back into things, the itch is twice as intense as before! I think my plan is to still keep things either somewhat vague or at least without any update plans. Getting to work in my own little cocoon has been quite lovely, especially since I do plan on making most of my work this month try to be outlining. 

WRITING PROJECTS

As warm ups, I’ve taken to picking a couple of the prompts from the 2021 Crackling Fires and combining some and writing either summaries or outlines for my ideas for them. I’m thinking once I get all of them outlined, I can get to writing them as actual writing warm ups. I also have a horror/slasher oneshot that I’m attempting to wrangle (base idea = good, execution = struggling) that I’d desperately love to write in time for spooky season. Also a follow up to my Bellarke + CAOS AU would be really fun and I’ve gotten multiple people requesting one (since I mentioned it in the author’s notes). That one is the least likely but we’ll see! But since I’m getting married this fall and all of the stuff involved with that, we’ll see. But I would love to get some fun Halloween content pre-written for the season! 

I’ve fallen victim to my old Stranger Things addiction so some plot seeds have taken root with that as well. The zombie rewrite is always floating in my mind but I do think I have more plans for that now rather than just a simple rewrite. Flushing out plot holes, upping the stakes. Making it the truly complex story I think it deserves. I’ve also fallen for a side ship and am in the depths of planning something out for that one as well! But that’ll be a secret one until it’s further along I think. 

As for my other WIPs, I think I’m settling into a place that I can open them up again. I have a couple that I really don’t think I care about anymore, but I don’t want to write them off quite yet. I think I’ll first look at the ones that have a more defined direction and see what I feel most inspired to work on again! It’ll be nice to write off of ~vibes~ again though and not feel as much pressure. I’m hoping that’ll make it easier to finish them! I’ve also begun to lay the groundwork for a Bellarke AU I promised my partner I’d write and I’m SO excited for that to take shape!

DESIGN PROJECTS

There are definitely some creative projects that take precedent over everything––aka my two contract jobs right now as well as all of the designs for my wedding lol. I’m working on improving my scheduling of work and removing distractions so that I can work more productively during the day. I also need to finish updating my portfolio, which is woefully lacking.

In the more fun element of designing, I want to keep doing some character and episode graphics for Tumblr. I can’t believe my Eddie one is almost to 1k notes!! Those are great exercises for me and a fun way to play with fonts that I don’t have a place for in my day to day work. I also have an idea for making a series of badges/patches inspired by camping that I want to do. Plus my million other art ideas on my Notion board! 

As always, “intention” is my word that I’m focusing on. Planning and being intentional about my time, especially even when it’s not “working” on things, is so crucial and I’m excited to be shaking off the cobwebs and getting back into things!

[melodyofmischief]

You know, you’ve gotta give it to The 100 writers, they’re one of a kind. They actually managed to make me absolutely detached from a show I loved for years in just one ep. It never happened before. I’ve been sad or disappointed, yes, but this was like a personal betrayal on a whole different level.

I went through literal five stages of grief during the last week lol. First I was numb, didn’t feel a thing, because this dumbassery isn’t real, right? No one is that stupid, RIGHT? Then became angry. REALLY angry. How can you do this to your own story? It’s like hurting your own child ffs! On Sunday I calmed down enough to read reviews to 7x13 and it finally hit. I legit broke down, cried my eyes out, but not exactly for Bellamy, but for the whole show some petty idiots took from us. Notsurprisingly, it helped.

Now, a week later, I’m looking at the spoilers (kudos to you guys who decided to watch the ep) to 7x14 and, again, I feel nothing. But not in the “I refuse to believe it” kind of way. I really feel nothing. Clarke is OOC? Ok. Octavia is super fine with her brother being murdered? Sure. Spacekru spitting on Bell’s legacy? Go ahead. Gabriel died? Lol. Like... normally I would be raging at even one of these, but now? I find it so bizzare that my love and care towards this show ended just like that. With one pointless scene and my mind finally accepting it a few days later. Four years of being ride-or-die for it (I started watching right before S4 aired) and it’s gone, just like that.

And no, all these assholes who say “it’s all about the shipping” don’t know shit. Would I be disappointed without Bellarke happening? Of course. But I would still love the show for the enjoyment it got me over the years. I would rewatch it (or just fragments) from time to time and think fondly about the times when I avoided spoilers like a plague and I raced home from work just so I can finally watch the new ep.

Let’s face it, S7 wasn’t perfect, but I was one of these people that actually still enjoyed it. My enthusiasm wasn’t that big, but I decided to give it a benefit of the doubt. Good job naive me, who believed they’re just tying up loose ends to focus on the main cast at the end. Never in a million years I would think it will all lead to the show self-destructing in the most horrible way possible 4 eps before the end. And the worst thing is, I just finished 7th (and last) season of Agents of SHIELD and it felt like a love letter for the show and its fans. It gave characters and their relationships time and attention they deserved. Wrote around the absence (for the most of the season) of one of the male leads splendidly, focused on a very similar conflict of collective good vs. love towards your designated people and made the bonds of (found)family win against all odds. 7th season of The 100 feels like a mess where suddenly nothing makes sense. Characters, plots, nothing. And at the end they will all probably become some light beings, because humanity sucks. ...did I really watch so many episodes to reach THIS conclusion? Just wow.

[cs-and-bellarke]

Bellarke- Love isn't weakness

Prev / Next Part

Chapter 13

Bellamy's P.O.V

I decided to see what Clarke was doing tonight because I was bored and I didn’t want to hang out with Octavia because I get tired of just hanging out with her all of the time. I texted her and then about an hour and a half later she called me.

*Phone call*

“Hello”

“Hey Bellamy, I got your text and I’m not doing anything tonight but if you are just trying to get me to hang out with you so you don’t have to deal with O and you want to make me then I don’t want to do anything”

“Calm down Princess, I was just thinking we can go to the small carnival that just opened with me”

“Sure”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not”

“Okay so I’ll pick you up around 6:30ish”

“Sounds good, I’ll see you then”

“See you”

*End of phone call*

I can’t believe she said she would hang out with me tonight...I know it’s not a date but I kinda wish it was, anyway I think one reason why she is still closed off is because she thinks I’m still a player. I stopped being a player when I got into a relationship with Gina...she thought I had feelings for another and that I didn’t love her (well I didn’t love her yet because it was too soon) so she dumped me. It hurt but I understood why I guessed and if she didn’t I wouldn’t be as close to Clarke as I am now, I have developed feelings for my little sister's best friend how messed up is that.

I really hope I can get Clarke to let her walls down for me but knowing her it’s going to be harder than I think. Octavia wants me to do whatever it takes because she thinks if I can bring down her walls then maybe her and O could be closer but I just don’t think that is going to happen, it’s 6:25pm and I know Clarke only lives about 5 to 10 minutes away.

Clarke’s P.O.V

Bellamy arrives at my house at 6:30pm on the dot and I was really surprised that he did in the first place. I open the front door to leave and that’s when Murphy stops me, why does he always have to do this when I want to go somewhere he just appears.

“Where are you going?” he asks me.

“Out” I tell him.

“I can see that, where that’s what I’m asking”

“I’m going out with Bellamy Blake okay?”

“With Bellamy, that 2 timing player...I told you to stay away from him all he will do is hurt you and I can’t let that happen”

“It’s not a date, we are just going to a carnival, I know he will hurt me so I’m fighting whatever I feeling for him okay...Now can I please go”

“Okay, but be careful”

“I will, love you”

“Love you too”

I get into the car and he drives, we are silent but I like the silence. It's peaceful.  We are on the freeway and he hasn’t said a word to me but I don’t mind and at the same time I don’t want to talk because I’m afraid I’ll say something I’ll regret.

“What took you so long to get to the car?” Bellamy asks.

“Someone got in my way when I was going out the door,” I said to him.

“May I ask whom”

“No one important”

“I don’t believe you”

“You don’t have to”

“Well we are here, come on, lets go”

We leave the car and we start to walk in...all it was, was a small little carnival for either little kids or just some fun. Bellamy and I walk around and joke about everything we see or hear around us and it’s nice but I can’t fight the feelings I have for him for very much longer, everytime he says something or just smiles I can’t help but want to kiss him or jump his bones. He makes me happy but I can’t get hurt again, yeah I might be in high school but I have been through hell and some people might not believe that I have been through that but I have and no one really knows how much shit I have been through at all.

Today was one of the best days I’ve had in awhile and that is because of Bellamy, he made today better by just being who he is and I can’t thank him enough for it. He won me this little stuffed elephant that I love so much and by the time they closed we were tired and wanted to go home but I didn’t want to go home, I wanted to stay with him.

“Ready to go” he asks when we get back to the front gate.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to go home,” I tell him.

“Where do you want to go then”

“I don’t know, anywhere but home”

“Okay then”

We drive off and I have no idea where we are going and I don’t care, I know Murphy will be worried and be pissed when he finds out why I was out so long and why I didn’t go home when I told him I would be home by midnight. I just hope he doesn’t blame Bellamy for this because it was my idea to not go home and to go anywhere but home.

Before I knew it we were at Bellamy’s spot...well he liked to say it was our spot because he and I were the only ones who knew about it. Bellamy is so kind to me and it confuses me a lot because he is a player that only cared for himself...so I thought. We got out of the car and I ran to the edge and I think Bellamy was worried that I would fall because of how fast I ran up there, but I couldn’t help it. Standing at the edge made me feel alive, made me feel free for once in my life and I couldn’t get enough of the feeling it gave me, I then felt a pair of strong hands hit my lower back and all I wanted to do was melt into them. I felt so safe when I felt his hands anywhere on me even when it was just my hand, like earlier tonight we were walking around and I felt his hand over mine and without thinking I interlocked our fingers together as we walked. 

Bellamy pulled me closer to his chest and I knew I couldn’t hide my feelings for him anymore even though how many times I have told myself that Love was weakness it’s not working. “What are you thinking about Princess?” Bellamy asks me when he sees that I’m spacing out.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it” I tell him. He lets go of me and when he does all I want is to feel his touch once again but I know if I ask for it then something will go wrong. I can’t hide behind lies anymore, I keep telling myself that I can’t be falling in love with my best friend's brother but that is just lying to myself because the truth was that I was falling in love with Bellamy and I couldn’t stop it from happening.

[pendragaryen]

I guess after all this time i’m ready to put into words why i’m so uncomfortable with the Bellarke content in S6 - in contrary to the common opinion. Yes there are beautiful and brilliant Bellarke scenes in S6 and i can clearly see the possibility of them getting together right after the cpr-scene. It’s just THERE. I am not blind. But the reason why i’m so uncomfortable with it and NOT with for example all the brilliant bellarke scenes in S4 (my fave! the list-scene! the head and heart-scene! and so many others!) is b/cho.

You and i may think of b/cho what we want, seriously. Everyone its ship. But IT IS STILL EXISTING in s6! It is CONSTANTLY and CANONICALLY there! And i can’t get that fact out of my fucking mind, like ever! And that upsets me! It upsets me that i’m unable to erase them out of my mind, and if it’s JUST for the time being, just to be able to enjoy the Bellarke scenes... But... I don’t want to be disrespectful towards another ship, even in my own headcanon and feelings. And that is why i can’t fully ENJOY the Bellarke of s6. It’s there, i know, and it’s STRONG, i know that too! And with Beliza’s confirmation, that they were supposed to be endgame after the cpr-scene it’s even MORE obvious. I KNOW all of this. But i can’t get out of my own skin. I wish i could...believe me. I feel bad and uncomfortable bc there’s still b/cho somewhere in the bg. And that’s why i cannot put the Bellarke content of s6 on top of my list - let alone understand, how you’re all able to do it. I simply can’t. I guess this is just a “me-thing”...

That is why S4 Bellarke will always be superior for me. THERE they’ve been both single. Yes, Clarke was still mourning L. But nonetheless i felt so much BETTER while shipping the hell out of Bellarke in that season! It felt more... legit. More FREE. EVERYTHING was possible! I don’t know how to explain it better, i’m sorry. But that’s the way i see it. And i clearly needed to get that off my chest once and for all.

That being said: I love bellarke with my whole heart. And at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter which season was “their strongest”. Bc they’ve been ALWAYS meant to be - despite the existence of any other ship. It was always there. We never have been delusional or something. We never MISINTERPRETED anything. It was there. And it was real. And that’s what counts.

[pawprinterfanfic]

☆ essie’s 1.5k follower celebration ☆

thank you so much for following me!!! 1.5k is amazing and I’m so thankful!! I might be boring and I might not be able to create graphics or gifs (as seen above), but I appreciate all of you for being here. this blog’s given me a chance to share my creative projects and meet so many amazing people, and I’m so incredibly grateful I get to do it with all of you.

extra special thank you to all my bellarke followers. you all have stuck with me through a lot of fandoms and for so long, so thank you. the show might be over, but the community will always hold a special place in my heart.

I will be doing two pieces of this celebration since I missed my 1k milestone!

→ fanfic requests

Must be following my blog

Must reblog this post

Send a request to my ask box — include what fandom/character/ship and any other details! I will only write for fandoms I’ve written for previously (you can check my AO3 if you’re not sure).

Fics will be around 1500 words (so keep that in mind when sending in an idea!)

Send in a request any time between now and December 14!

*I will not be taking any canonverse Bellarke requests because I’ve been really struggling to write that atm. Sorry!

→ ask games

You don’t have to be following me to play along!

I’ll be setting aside a few hours on December 12 for us to play some ask games and just hang out!

I’ll reblog some fun lists I’ve seen floating around, but you can ask me whatever (make me choose between characters/ships/scenes/etc, send me this or thats, get me to pick my favourite characters, ask me to rank ice cream flavours, etc). It’ll really just be super chill and fun time!

I’ll be tagging everything with #essies1500. Feel free to blacklist this if you’re not interested!

Thank you again for following me. I’m genuinely so happy you’re all here. I can’t wait to celebrate with you!

[suzy-queued]

Author Interview

I was tagged by the amazing @arrowflier to participate.  Thanks for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

3 (but I'll write more for sure)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

188,687 

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Under Lock and Key (390 kudos)

Estate of Blood and Trust (269 kudos)

Taking a Chance on Love (160 kudos)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!  I am giddy whenever I get one.  It's way easier to read a fic, shrug your shoulders, and move on, so it makes me really happy when someone takes time to leave feedback.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably "Taking a Chance on Love" because it's unresolved.  It leaves a lot to the imagination, and it ends with Mickey in a pretty raw place.  It implies a happy future, but one that's not spelled out in the story.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

"Under Lock and Key." I try to not overstay my welcome once everyone is happy, but I let Ian and Mickey have the most milestones in that one. 

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Oooh, not yet. 

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not necessarily, although not everyone likes that I painted Lip as a villain in "Estate of Blood and Trust."

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

If by smut you mean porn without a plot, then no, not yet.  But I don't mind showing everything in sex scenes. My hope is to make any naughty time have relevance to the character development.  When my husband reads and comments that he's "tired of the gay sex," it's my cue to scale it back.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've been approached to have "Under Lock and Key" translated, but it isn't complete yet.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but I wouldn't be averse to it.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I have to say Gallavich because it's the first one that inspired me to write.  But I also love Hannigram and Fleabag/Priest.  I was a huge Bellarke shipper until that show went off the rails.  I'm still bummed that Lance and Keith weren't endgame on Voltron.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I wrote about 1/3 of a YA romance novel with dark undertones. It's not in any fandom; it's an original work.  I love the idea and what I completed so far, but I don't know if it has enough meat for me to finish it.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I try to have good grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.  I've been told I have good editing.  I suck out as much fat as I can so that the stories stay moving, so that every scene has a point.  

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm really impatient.  Meaning, I know where I want my characters to go and already write them as if they're at the finish line.  I have to remind myself to slow down and soak in the pre-growth versions of them so that their changes feel more earned. So, I guess, pacing of character change.  I’m working on it.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I've done snippets here and there, just a couple of phrases. I'm okay with it, but I haven't had much need for it so far.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Shameless!

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

The Umbrella Academy.  Specifically, Five and Mr. Pennycrumb. 

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

"Under Lock and Key."  I finished it last week, so I'm still going through withdrawal of not having that story in my daily routine anymore.      

I'm tagging these people (and feel free to play along even if you aren't tagged!):

@mzshko  @yeah-all-of-it  @notherenj-nowherenj  @wildxwired

[bellarkeficawards]

Best Alternate Universe Fic (More than 10,000 Words) - Nominations

Sanctuary by RogueTwelve

Homesick (It's a Bittersweet Feeling) by burninghoneyatdusk @burninghoneyatdusk

Waste It on Me by eyessharpweaponshot @eyessharpweaponshot

luminous beings by kindclaws @kindclaws

I'll Find You in the Morning Sun by Cominguproses13x @cominguproses13x

The Naked Truth by mad_magic @kombellarke

Paint me in Trust by Pawprinter @pawprinterfanfic

the earth is trembling on some new beginning by kindclaws @kindclaws

stole my mind and found my dreams by millipop @millipop

comes and goes (in waves) by selflessbellamy @selflessbellamy

And Maybe I'll Grow Into You by jekisawrites @thefangirlingbarista

i would give my life just to hold your hand (i'm your number one fan) by safeandsound13 @captaindaddykru

Sugar by asroarke @asroarke

Through Chaos As It Swirls by HeartofGlassMindofStone

too good to be all mine by safeandsound13 @captaindaddykru

a castle in the clouds by Pawprinter @pawprinterfanfic

Stay Here Tonight by Dayo488 @dayo488

Instant Family by Nakeycatstakebaths @nakey-cats-take-bathsss

Wrapped Up in You by bellarkeness @johnmurphysass

Rare and Beautiful by marauders_groupie @marauders-groupie

don't wanna sleep tonight by safeandsound13 @captaindaddykru

Connecting on the Wraparound by WelpThisIsHappening @welllpthisishappening

Almost Paradise (We're Knocking on Heaven's Door) by Nakeycatstakebaths @nakey-cats-take-bathsss

Moved By You by Dayo488 @dayo488

I've Learned in Love and Death We Don't Decide by grumpybell @grumpybell  

The (single) Parent Trap by Nakeycatstakebaths @nakey-cats-take-bathsss

you wrap your heart in gold (you tell me it’s treasure) by lightyears @bisexualbellamyblake

Soul Fate Determination by LaughingSenselessly @wellsjahasghost

it's a small world by virgohotspot

Everything's Made to be Broken by MoonShoesReyes @moonshoesreyes

drinking whiskey after dark by blaketrash @gansxythethird

The Graduation Pact by burninghoneyatdusk @burninghoneyatdusk

A Change of Heart by mylifeiskara @queenemori

veni, vidi, Vinci by carrieevew @carrieeve

Princess by marauders_groupie @marauders-groupie

A Twist of Fate by mylifeiskara @queenemori

It Had To Be You by useyourtelescope @useyourtelescope

Red Sky At Night by Arianne_Isobel @excuseyouclarke

[bellamyblake]

Headcanons for Bellarke working together late at night on camp stuff and being absolute IDIOTS towards each other: 

they usually end up in one of the offices attached to the main room where the council meetings happen, together, late at night, after most of the camp has had dinner and went quiet;

they love working side by side, even if sometimes they spent hours going over maps and documents, discussing things, feelings their heads grow heavy, racking their brains at how they’ll push this through Kane and her mom or wondering how, how on earth can they make it easier for their kids, for their hundred;

or whatever’s left of them anyway;

as much as Bellamy loves those nights, he also absolutely despises what they do to Clarke; she tends to spent over 20 hours without any rest and the dark circles surrounding her eyes honestly scare the hell out of him;

he’s not much better off, having done at least one if not two guard shifts but somehow he doesn’t see that as much of a burden as her working in medbay saving people or fighting over with the council for the camp buildings or the living conditions and the jobs given out at the kids; 

their kids;

when he asks her if it’s time she head to bed late on a similar cold winter night with her hunched over the maps on the metal table and him going over reports she responds with a curt, stubborn, very Clarke-like;

”I’ll sleep.”

“When?” he crosses his arms over his chest, daring her.

“When I get this done.” she doesn’t even look at him instead uses the pencil to outline another thing on the map; 

another project for a tomato garden or a medbay building or a cabin to smoke the meat for that he knows, he just knows he’ll cut the trees for, chop them and prepare;

she was the brain, he was the hands; he was the hard work; that’s all he was ever good for anyway; 

and it brings him a sense of peace too-the splinters in his hands, the cuts, bruises, his sore muscles, his bad knee aching at night, dragging him in all his glory-maybe he was a masochist but he enjoyed it, found it made his nights quieter, kept the demons at bay;

“You’ll never get it done that’s why we have council meetings.” he huffs even more annoyed.

“They’re too loud and frustrating,”

“Clarke-”

“Bellamy?” she looks up briefly and gives him a once over “Don’t play so innocent, you haven’t slept either.”

“That’s different.”

“How? Please tell me how it’s different?” she’s angry now, that angry you got when you were so tired that anything could piss you off. 

Good thing he liked pushing her buttons especially when it came to her own damn health.

“It’s different because I never slept much. On the Ark I was awake most of the night, I’m used to just a few hours, my body can handle it.” she softens at that, knows just what he means beyond the surface and imagines him-just a boy, a child really, waking every time there was even the slightest of noises to be heard in Factory, or when his baby sister cried or when he had to feed her cause his mom was at work, or when-

God so many possibilities, so many times.

He never truly got peace.

She sees the cracks in his armous and wants to kiss him.

And then slap him.

But mostly kiss him.

So she turns her head away and waves her hand “Give me an hour.”

“I’m clocking it, princess!” he warns but grabs another folder from the table before going back to the old raggedy couch and resting on it and every now and then he’d snort like a horse at her angry paper slapping. 

he knows her so damn well-she’s angry but her brain is so busy, she’s not even registering it so he goes out and comes back without she so much as lift her head in the meantime but when he brings in a plate full of stew and boiled potatoes with rosemary as well as some hot milk and chocolate she hears her stomach grown loudly-

which of course only makes the idiot smile in satisfaction.

he brings her the salt they kept in the cupboard with the coffee, sugar and tea that they used for late night evenings like this one and because he knows she loves to put too much on everything he expertly stops her by blocking her way with his palm while her eyes are pinned on a recent guard report.

She pouts, of course she does, and with her eyes she says “Just a little more.” he huffs, pulls his hand away but stops her again by snapping it out of her hand before the entire meal turned white.

“It’s bad for the eyes, you know.”

“Says mister “I have to squint to see in the near distance.” he hobbles back to the couch and falls on it dramatically.

“For the record, Miss medic, it’s also bad for the heart.”

“Says the guy with the high blood pressure!” she cuts him off and he rolls his eyes at her. It was true. 

Last year every Arkadia citizent was subjected to the mandatory yearly check ups which she was helping her mom and Jackson with as they didn’t have enough nurses or doctors in training yet. 

She had taken it lightly then, made fun of him because she knew how much he hated being in medbay, the idiot even hid when he was hurt sometimes and she had to hunt him down and force him to sit still while she patched him up, so she thought she’d just use this as a way to make fun of his weird dislike of doctors. 

Instead when her mom listened to his heart furrowing her eyebrows at what she was hearing and then she took his blood pressure and saw how high it was, it had brought her back to the ground so fast, she felt like someone punched her in the gut.

he played it off as cool and her mom promised it’s not too serious yet, probably something genetic, running from his mom’s side according to old records but she spent the next two weeks monitoring his every move until he called her off; 

she still worried; still listened closely to his heart whenever he hugged her and begged it quietly, in her mind,to keep still, to slow down, to let him live till he was ninety;

“Maybe you’re putting too much salt in your food?” she suggests trying to get rid of her cloudy thoughts;

He throws a pillow at her and she chuckles’

But all she does in return is stick her tongue out at him and wolf down her food “God for an alpha princess you eat like a pig”

“Don't make me throw a hot potato at you”

“You wouldn't!”/ Don't test me!”/ “Just eat, Clarke”/ “I would if you shut up” 

“Asshole”

“Animal”

“Old man”

“Workaholic”

“Insomniac”

“Oh my god, ARE YOU REALLY THROWING THAT AT ME!”

“YEP”she says with a smirk “Now quiet I gotra focus!” He curses under his nose and leans back.

He thinks she doesn't pay any attention to him but in fact she does, she always did. So now she peaks under her maps and finds him stretching his legs and taking off his boots, rubbing the knee he broke last winter that must be getting sore with the cold weather and then leaning back and closing his eyes.

he dozes off first, in fact he falls on the couch in a half-slumped, half-sitting way that she knows can’t be comfortable, his mouth hangs open, he drools like a child and then he snores, not too loudly, softly, like he knows he can’t bother the world with himself or his rest and his hair that’s had a rebel strike of her own falls over his forehead.

she puts down her maps and documents and leans on the chair, tilting her head, staring at him with love and adoration;

she can’t help herself but she gives herself a moment to just take him in like that-soft and at peace and then her heart bursts, she can’t command it to still, to stop-

she stands up and carefully like oh-so-many nights before, she walks over there, takes his face in her hands, rubs her thumb under his dark circles, lean over and kisses his forehead;

he groans just a little as she pushes him down but his arm falls wide open for her to fit in to his side; when she leans her head over his heart and listens to his fast thrump thrump thrump she rubs her hand over his chest and tries to sooth it;

“Take it easy” she mumbles “I need him here.”

she doesn’t register when she falls asleep, she just knows she’s warm and that’s the best feeling in the world.

[ijustdontlikepeople]

for the salty asks: based on a quick look at your tags, think i'm also a fan of most things you are, so pls answer these with any fandom in mind 😌

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? (i'll suggest teen wolf bc there's a lot to choose from lmao but really any show is fine)

23. Unpopular character you love?

+ any other one you wanna answer 💫😚

I just saw this! Sorry if it’s been a few days!

5. I don’t think fandom itself has ever ruined a ship for me. Writers definitely have but I can’t think of a fandom that’s done it on its own.

11. I like Lizzie Saltzman and Caroline Forbes from tvd! They were pretty unpopular at the beginning of their respective shows but I think they’ve gained some traction! People disliked them because they were both kind of bitchy from a place of insecurity. Caroline put on fake niceness, and Lizzie was outwardly hostile. I felt for Caroline from the get go. And watching lizzie struggle with her mental health, i kind of understood her. Her issues didn’t excuse her actions but it explained them. Plus, they were always funny and interesting.

On Teen Wolf, I love Cora. I don’t think people dislike her but I think she’s underrated.

I thought Octavia was always interesting and she had some really spikes and valleys in her popularity in The 100. She did terrible things when leading the bunker, but I read a very interesting opinion piece on the level of accountability placed on her vs Abby and Kane. I don’t think she did the right thing, but I still enjoyed watching her character. I always liked Gabriel in the 100 too. He was so interesting. I think people disliked him bc all of season 6 was so jarringly different from the rest of the 100. And bc he he created the whatever chip things. But he was smart, cute, and deeply sad so you know I’m interested.

16. Things I would change about Teen Wolf? Wow there’s so much to choose from! First, I’d pretty much leave canon up to season 4. Kira never goes to the skinwalkers and remains main cast. Sterek is canon (down the road, like Stiles Junior year of college maybe? Make up for all the queerbaiting) Emotionally, I want Erica and Boyd back, but plot wise their deaths made sense so instead I’ll settle for them actually remembered and Isaac not fucking off to France. Actual Hale Pack! True Alpha Scott is great but my heart lives with Derek Hale and he’s lost so much he should get to have his pack with his found family. Oh! Cora’s here too! Jackson as Peter’s son! Maybe we make a few new additions to the pack Liam still gets bit, dragging Mason in too.

Plot line maybe involving the recognition of Deaton as untrustworthy! Also Spark!Stiles supremacy!!! They dropped in that he had magic and then forgot about it! So let’s say, coming off the nogistune possession Stiles starts getting powers; the possession awakened his dormant magic. Stiles starts learning magic from Deaton but he does research on his own. He figures out Deaton isn’t telling him everything. Something to this tune. Maybe a big evil too. Vampires? Lydia dates vampire?

Let me add in here a few small critiques of 2 other shows too.

The 100: season 6 and 7 do not happen. Bellarke ends up together raising Madi. Earth is hospitable. Memori and Marper have kids. Dealing with harsh climates since the nuclear explosion and internal issues. (Might sound boring but I think I would have liked it better lol)

TVD: Damon doesn’t do anything to Caroline in season 1, because I rewatched season 1 recently and it ruins his entire character for me. Give Bonnie some happiness that lasts. Many other things.

23. So I’ve kind of answered this with 11. But I’ll add, some people really dislike Clarke Griffin and I love her. She has done many terrible things but as a character she is so good to watch. (I’m ignoring season 7 bc it doesn’t exist in my head). I loved Jackson on The Originals too. (I feel like I don’t have a great idea of people the fandom dislikes or are unpopular).

Thank u so much for asking!! I hope these answers are fun! ♥️😄