#don’t mind me i just loved this video
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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#swtor#sith warrior#eralei audroti#gonna ramble in the tags real quick hope u don’t mind#six years ago today i created one of my most beloved characters of my whole entire life#and i may not really Go Here(TM) anymore but i still love her just the same#i can’t even really put into words how much she means to me#without getting too much into it…as corny as it sounds she really did help me realize so much about myself#im no stranger to putting myself in a character... i have been doing this since i was a child#but there are such sacred precious pieces of me in eralei#pieces i never even realized i planted#and i will forever be thankful for this beautiful little creation of mine#she inspired me so much#led me to deepen some friendships even#even though i don’t play swtor anymore she will always have a special place in my heart#i will seriously cherish her until the day i die#she may just be a fictional character in a video game born from my imagination#but to me she is so so so much more than that#happy birthday eralei#i love u
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youtube
#caryl#twd#caryl fanvid#the way I thought I was empty of feels after so long and then this video made me cry#such a goood video#don’t mind me#just crying over these idiots in love#Youtube
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been thinking about how asuna’s [spoiler] scene in the last chapter of idol sengen is oddly underwhelming in the volume version compared to the piccoma release?
i mean l i ke (spoiler reveal under the cut)—
idk if it’s just me but seeing it in colour made the scene hit harder somehow? in some way?
s o . im just. thinking ahead here but…
what if i tried to overlay the colour panel onto the page when i eventually tl it in a few months?
i’m not good at picture editing at all.
b u t still.
i kinda wanna try to go the extra mile for asuna anyway… hmmmmmmmmm…
#oh welllll. in the end that’s for future me to decide ig…#i’m not even sure if anyone would be interested in it anyway…#maybe i could pay someone to do it for me instead (<-has 0 connections)#hm. maybe i should’ve tried to socialise more in school. maybe i’d have met a p.shop guy or two lmao#oh well. ig it’s video tutorial time… maybe… i hope i don’t fall asleep~~~~ bc it’s for asuna….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#in any case!!!! my mind and productivity has been completely ruined by thoughts on my newfound doomed crackship of asuna x sena#like it’s a ship that could go wrong in so many ways (whether asuna gets with sena or not) and im just. ✨thoughts✨ yk???#i love the concept of rivals/enemies to lovers asumona but. like. asusena. yk.#like picture this: pov you just realised that your loving gf’s sister is the same newbie idol you’ve been unfairly antagonising and such#a n d knowing how strong sena’s sisterly love for mona is… yk??? doomed crackship is ✨doomed✨#aighhtttt ok im done with asuna thoughts for the day i s w e a r#(though ngl if they somehow end up giving asuna a cv and she somehow turns out to be ✨e m i t s u n✨ of honoka-chan fame (very unlikely)…)#(…i will pass on in ✨peace✨ idk i just think her powerful yet soothing voice would suit asuna (<-fell back into ll phase))#o k o k im done fr this time i s w e a r anyways stan asuna frusu ok bye
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can’t believe those shark things met enhypen before me 🚬💔
#guys I watched a video last night of enhypen and it made me seriously love them all over again#like don’t get me wrong I love them so much but these past few months I’ve been so out of touch with kpop and only usually keep up with skz#so enha was pushed to the back of my mind#but last night watching that video and seeing how much they’ve grown as people since when I first stanned them#it made my heart so happy 🥺#my babies are so big now im so proud of them#sorry for being sappy I just had to share !!#chit chat with coco <3
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Okay because my mind’s still on the subject, I have a bit of a weird question, but I just want an answer
So like, my favorite type of drama in series is usually familial drama, most often ones between parents and their children. And also usually, those dramas that I love are specifically between father and son
And now I’m wondering, what are parent-child dramas/dynamics that involve a female character usually like? As in, mother-son, father-daughter, or even mother-daughter? And additionally, are they as interesting as father-son dynamics? Because I feel like I don’t see nearly enough of them, or at least, they never give me that same amount of intrigue or they just aren’t as focused on
By which I mean specifically in my context, would they be interesting in an action based series? I have a particular taste, namely that I like my series (mostly this applies to shows, I’m a bit more flexible with games) to be more action focused, or at least have some fantastical elements to it, or else I don’t care. I’m not interested in soap opera kind of drama, I want something that would fit in an action based show
Sorry, again this is probably a weird request (and to be honest I really don’t expect answers, posts of mine like these usually get little to no attention), but it’s on my mind. I feel like I see so many interesting father-son dynamics and conflicts, but I never see one that involves a woman, at least not when it comes to parent-child dynamics, and not ones nearly as interesting
#I do think it has to do with the demographics of the shows I watch#or at least the ones that I watched as a kid and where my tastes stem from#most notably Ninjago but there were others#one coming to mind was Kaijudo which I loved as a kid and am still fond of (even if mostly just for Raiden’s plots)#(I’m neutral on Gabe and do not care for Allie but Raiden Bob and Saguru are all interesting to me)#anyways going back to my point those and other shows were usually marketed towards boys#and so as a result were probably made to be more male centric#and I think up until at least the past 10? years or so female characters in those shows weren’t usually written the best#as the writers were probably also all men#and so as such the male characters usually have all the interesting stuff#and the conflicts I like#especially as someone who isn’t a big fan of romance which is usually something that comes up with female characters#hell I’m shocked when a series places equal weight on a female character’s relationship with her brother#as well as her love interest#which right now I can only attribute to Xenoblade 1 but still#(and I know Fiora and Shulk’s relationship is more important but Shulk is the main protag so I get it)#fuck I’m writing too much#point is demographics and old writing conventions are probably the cause#and it’s probably gotten better but I don’t know a lot of good female parent-child relationships#questions#tv shows#video games#random stuff
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loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches
#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!!#by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept#that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends#it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters#i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days#so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse#i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode#and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol#i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin#for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven#i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh#i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them#but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain#like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media#they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less#how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc#ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal#like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep#i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift#morganposting
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💭
#online diary#this is a bit of a rant so don’t mind this please I just gotta get it out#i hate tiktok with like my whole body#tiktok is such a cesspool I truly can’t wrap my head around it#and it’s such a shame because I think it can be a good place for some artistic videos and I love it for it#i love to see the aesthetic side of it the discovering cool music and all the actual art out of it#i love to see the way other people live specially in other cultures and I love watching makeup tutorials and stuff#and sure even the silly funny videos#but i do think people that are on it so much have actually become dumber#and like so reliable on ‘what’s trending now’ and so consumeristic and even like a bit narcissistic#and like so vain and it haunts me so much how people are just so openly pieces of shit excuses of a person#just so openly racist and fat phobic and every kind of awful person that you can imagine#and just how so full of hate some people are it truly disturbs me#like everything that’s wrong with people is just so common there#and so open to see even if you don’t want to#i think about deleting that app like every couple of days#and i never end up doing it because I know I’ll regret not being able to see all the good all the art and genuine nice stuff:/#anyway im not saying all people that use and like tiktok are bad of course I just get so overwhelmed every time I see the awful people#it like breaks my heart truly
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biggest jumpscare of my life
#my own art on my own fyp??!//!#they credited me so i don’t mind at all#it just caught me so off guard#very sweet video i love johnshi sm
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#sent my mom those bts x harry photos this morning thinking she’d find it cool#since she likes harry#but she literally just. didn’t care and it kind of hurt bc it’s such a huge deal for me#to see him and the boys in the same frame#i thought i’d get some kind of reaction and i just didn’t#so i felt kinda shitty about it#but then my younger sister came over and she came in my room to look around#and started asking me questions about bts while looking at my pc collection#and then she let me pretty much give her a two hour crash course on bts#while asking questions and letting me show her music videos while she tried to study their names/faces better#and it made me feel good bc i never have anyone around to talk to them about out loud in detail#or rave about them with or anything bc my parents don’t careeee so i suppress it all#and i literally said to her ‘i never get to talk about them’ so she just. let me#mind you my sister and i butted heads so much when we were younger bc we’re so close in age#we have very different music tastes#she will likely never stan bts and that’s FINEEE lol#but it’s nice that she respects my love for them and has even gifted me things/merch and keeps her eyes open for things#knowing how much they mean to me#she’s the only one in my family who really supports it without any weird resistance or fakeness like my parents do#even if they do sometimes try to show interest i know it’s not that genuine#anyway long post just feeling nice that my sister cared about the most important thing in my life even just for a little bit
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guys can i talk about that fucking guy. clap if you think i should talk about that fucking guy.
(accidental ramble in the tags. oops. don’t read if you don’t want to read a crisis.)
#yo it's d :)#you already know who that fucking guy is unless you’re new here and that’s none of you so .#i need to start asking my friends if i can talk about that guy but it’s hard honestly#he literally takes up 50 to 80 per cent of my mind on a daily basis#even when i’m not thinking about him i’m thinking of him#i’ll see something blue and be like ‘wow! yk who really likes the color blue?’ and suddenly my brain is flooded with thoughts of Him#don’t get me wrong i love him but i realize that other people don’t care about him as much as i do so i’m trying to dial it back#still. it’s hard.#especially knowing that other people know how to contain themselves and i’m just sitting here raw out in the open like this#to be honest idk how i managed to survive school because since september i’ve kinda been living in mana hell(/heaven. depending on the day)#some people say they have addictive personalities and honestly i think that’s me#my brain is addicted to him! i literally study this man’s face and mannerisms and can tell you exactly how he smiles when his expression#is otherwise neutral. i can relay unnecessary amounts of his band history to you and have watched WAY too many interviews and videos#and the worst part? i literally told myself ‘hey! you can’t get like this again’* because the last time was really bad! it was destructive!#*(about a person.) i literally cannot function sometimes for just thinking about this guy.#i rarely listen to music besides his anymore and can literally tell you characteristic features of his composing! it’s kind of embarrassing!#like i’m a music nerd but i’m not THAT big of a music nerd. i usually can’t tell you things like that. most i can do is tell you#instrumentation. but whenever i listen to something he *mightve* composed i can automatically confirm or deny.#that’s not normal !!!!!!!!#having over *2000* pictures of a person you’ve never met in your phone is not normal!#but despite me being in the goddamn TRENCHES. i love him so so so much.#he genuinely makes me so happy. seeing images/videos of him from any time period makes me go ‘!!!’ because i think he’s the coolest!#and he’s so inspiring. he’s part of the reason i took up drawing again and regained some passion for music.#thus ends my tale of woe.
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Taylor incorporating that little slide she did during her met dance with Tom into the getaway car tour choreography….legendary
#don’t mind me just thinking about that#I think I even made a video edit 💀#love this bitch#the getaway car visuals too - the dress and the tiwycf artwork#rep tour#getaway car
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my brother is being so weird like leave me out of it !!!! i mean he’s having an emotional breakdown or smthg idk but why’s he bringing it to ME !!!! take it to SOMEONE ELSE mr. MONEYBAGS !!!! what do u want from ME !!!! take ur own advice & ‘get over it’ !!!
#diary#like ‘it’s all in ur head !!!’ like yea buddy now u don’t like that it’s in URS huh#wish i cared !#go DRINK ALONE like an ADULT#or do other DRUGS#like sorry i’m spending all my money on drugs & i love it#not him going ‘i love u’ ‘i’m happy that we’re siblings’ girl STOPPPP the DRAMAAA#shut the fuck up !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m not payed enough for this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#he’s like ‘wow work is so tough’ bro u play video games for 6 of the 8 hours u are on the clock#what do u WANT FROM ME !!!!!!!!#i’ve been live typing this since he’s come to bother me#‘do u ever overthink’ what are we 12 i swear to god if he doesn’t threaten to kill himself im going to put my head through a wall ur a grown#he keeps talking abt ‘when u used to go to therapy’ like yea when i went to therapy after telling our father that he was the reason i kept#wanting to kill myself#like nearly 10 years ago & haven’t been back since like 2018 😭😭😭#like if u want to go to therapy do it on ur OWN TIME#bro it’s been like 20 minutes i’m so fucking mad i was going to rest by eyes for 45 minutes before showering but he’s eating up like half of#it & i still have to fucking shower#i’m fumin#the way i’m just laying on the couch silently minding my own business full resting bitch face staring at my phone while he sits on the stool#w his head in his hands like girl get a GRIP#go do this BY URSELF ALONE IN UR ROOM#LIKE EVERYONE FUCKING ELSE IN THIS WORLD#like oh my GOD#if i can do this ??? if i can unhealthily stuff my emotions in myself while relying solely on nicotine caffeine & thc constantly so i can’t#focus on anything in my head :3c#SO CAN U !!!!!#develop REAL addictions douche bag !!!!!#the way he’s saved this shit to pull for MY spring break like ok#so i just can’t fucking enjoy anytbing
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psg are so rancid rn like everything about us stinks but then hakimbappe is like when middle schoolers would do gym and not shower but spray cologne like they’re a spritz of perfume on a giant log of doodoo
#they make me depressed they make me hate football they make me wanna gag in a bad way#i need a new team#but like how do i make myself love a team….how do i make myself care fr fr like FOR REAL#no i might burn the parc to the ground for what they’ve done to me#oh wait we don’t even own the parc might just burn down the ooredoo then it’s not enough but it’s a start#i’ll torch the new training facilities they’re building too#they don’t deserve a fancy training centre they should train in public and be like that game of thrones scene#people throwing matoes and going SHAME SHAME as they do rondos#messi and neymar leaving would fix me a bit ngl…..like that would be a bandaid. i would love a bandaid while i bleed OUT#i’m sad btw!#hm……someone’s got a lot on their mind ©️#nah that arsenal video fully made me sad about my own pathetico team
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spoilers
#when we dream we dream of the old world of rain of bathtubs of soap suds of clean skin of swimming pools running through sprinklers in the -#-summer of washing machines of the distant sea which may just be a dream#‘i love you’ it is hard for me to because sometimes it doesn’t seem like it is enough#found family navigating how to run a business and keep their passion of making video games alive#adored the writing style in this and how it didnt stick to one ‘shtick’#like the small moment when the nurse imagined their relationships#i loved ‘she was pretty all the time but she was beautiful in love’#i was on sadie’s side for every single argument lol#I WANT TO PLAY ICHIGO SO BADLY#marx’s death was so terrible i feel a pain in my chest#its been a long time since i’ve felt this bad for a fictional death#HE WOULD KNOW HER HANDWRITING ANYWHERE#8/10#books :)#read if you want something tender & don’t mind violence
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Someone having a bad attitude/rude articulation is not the same as someone being personally mean/harmful/offensive to you.
If you can walk away from a discussion confident that neither of you said anything worth wishing you could take back then congratulations: you’ve had the real life equivalent of a negative friendliness action in the Sims and there are NO permanent negative bodily consequences! Get back on the horse, your next social interaction with someone else could easily be far better.
My hands get tense and painful when I feel socially rejected, I can fully understand it sucks bad to receive attitude you feel undeserving of especially when you perceive yourself as working hard for unconscious social praise. But just like two autistics with different stimulation needs can’t both be happy in the exact same environment “made for autistics”, not everyone can have a pleasant reaction in a social convention “meant to be pleasant” because people can’t control their physical symptoms of frustration any more than I can control that my mind goes blank and I stutter or go silent when I’m genuinely (and irrationally) scared about answering simple questions.
As humans we are all owed common decency. Common decency is not semi-conditional kindness. It’s just respect for the unknown of a person. Offering basic comforts/requirements as you feel is natural, non-threatening environment for your personal life, acknowledging you exist when you arrive and wishing you well when you depart. That is common decency. Smiling, speaking in a specific tone, and forcing your body language to work for the comfort of a group rather than flow naturally as you react to stimuli, that is kindness. It’s nice to receive kind actions from strangers, but no one is owed these things. Even if you paid for a burger or got lost in the supermarket for two hours.
#I won’t deny there’s bad ppl in customer service who ARE objectively mean and abrasive#but I feel like there’s way less of them than there are just kinda. yknow.#bitchy people 🤷🏼♀️#I’m one of them now#I didn’t used to be#just. idk. be mindful of if you’re seeing boogie men bc of past experiences#I understand when it’s your doctor or boss who’s genuinely indecent to you#it’s a matter of safety to then lower your trust and expectations of people in that group#but when you’re scolding the entirety of customer service for complaining publicly and saying WELL WHAT IF#youre straw manning. you’re thinking ‘what if I saw a video complaining about ME one day’#and I’m sorry if that were to happen and they were straight up bullying you!!!#but I think if you see a video where a server is complaining about how an interaction went down#where THEY felt dehumanized so in turn they were a bit rude to the customer#and your reaction is to think of it as an exertion of power over you bc you had smth similar BUT DIFFERENT IN NATURE AND IMPACT#you’re not seeing the big picture#if this hypothetical video contained no mocking of a disability or threats of harm to the customer etc.#the server is literally just venting about a social interaction that frustrated them bc being frustrated feels!! uncomfortable!!!#this doesn’t mean they go around judging and hating everyone that happens to behave in a similar way SOMETIMES when pushed to a limit#they’re venting with the context that they have to go through these frustrations FREQUENTLY#erasing that context makes it seem like Customer Service Workers as a group enter social interactions seeking conflict#and while it may seem common bc of sensationalism I assure you the majority of the time we are not escalating things#and we don’t let ableist people just mock others comfortabley. truly I’m sorry if this is your most common experience#just remember like. a lot of us are disabled too.#I know it’s a privilege to be ABLE to work but it is still very much a burden bc we HAVE to#disabled ppl who can’t work have so little control in their lives and I’m sympathetic to that#but I feel like it creates this huge rift with disabled ppl who can work#bc we’re perceived as having so much more control over our finances#but we dontttt. we don’t. a lot of customer vs employee spats are just ppl going band for band w disabilities#we just aren’t aware of each other in the moment#basically love each other even if it means leaving an interaction a bit sullen
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