#don’t mind me i just loved this video
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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#swtor#sith warrior#eralei audroti#gonna ramble in the tags real quick hope u don’t mind#six years ago today i created one of my most beloved characters of my whole entire life#and i may not really Go Here(TM) anymore but i still love her just the same#i can’t even really put into words how much she means to me#without getting too much into it…as corny as it sounds she really did help me realize so much about myself#im no stranger to putting myself in a character... i have been doing this since i was a child#but there are such sacred precious pieces of me in eralei#pieces i never even realized i planted#and i will forever be thankful for this beautiful little creation of mine#she inspired me so much#led me to deepen some friendships even#even though i don’t play swtor anymore she will always have a special place in my heart#i will seriously cherish her until the day i die#she may just be a fictional character in a video game born from my imagination#but to me she is so so so much more than that#happy birthday eralei#i love u
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“Why’s he call you Darlin’?”
on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam
#(it’s too late guys i’ve already added it to a couple playlists. i can’t help it)#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted sam#redacted darlin#rp audio stuff#Seven’s Blorbo Songs#music stuff#i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously#skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not#and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me#i hate that i like it#it’s very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes#but i’m not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion#‘You’ve been beatin’ ‘round the bush so much you’re knockin’ off the leaves.’ goes kinda hard tho i’m ngl#‘ole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevy’ would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm#i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that#like irl i think it’s very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a ‘foreign’ vehicle. but i don’t even like trucks at all so#insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car#but i’ll stop before i go off on a rant about america’s transportation problems#anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. cliché as it may be#getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesn’t even necessarily fit Sam’s vibes i just. can’t undo the association#been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlin’ to be cheating on him and i don’t like that thought#like i love some types of angst but cheating isn’t one of them#i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesn’t fit in canon#and i don’t know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlin’ too. though it’s very possible. mmm angst#not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow#and i can’t even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if i’d like it practice anyways#tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlin’? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days i’ll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!
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youtube
#caryl#twd#caryl fanvid#the way I thought I was empty of feels after so long and then this video made me cry#such a goood video#don’t mind me#just crying over these idiots in love#Youtube
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“For Now,” Phases of the Moon Knight (Vol. 1/2024), #4.
Writer: Fabian Nicieza; Penciler and Inker: Moisés Hidalgo; Colorist: Fer Sifuentes-Sujo; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Phases of the Moon Knight#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Nakia Hunam#don’t mind me I’m just admiring the details of her costume here (I love them)#and can I just take a moment to say…I love how practical this costume is#it’s lovely and distinct (while still distinctly being Moon Knight) and most critically#it’s like the polar opposite of a chain mail bikini#her body type is still drawn as feminine for the most part but she’s not cursed with the stereotype of «woman armor»#that haunts comics and video games you know?
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been thinking about how asuna’s [spoiler] scene in the last chapter of idol sengen is oddly underwhelming in the volume version compared to the piccoma release?
i mean l i ke (spoiler reveal under the cut)—
idk if it’s just me but seeing it in colour made the scene hit harder somehow? in some way?
s o . im just. thinking ahead here but…
what if i tried to overlay the colour panel onto the page when i eventually tl it in a few months?
i’m not good at picture editing at all.
b u t still.
i kinda wanna try to go the extra mile for asuna anyway… hmmmmmmmmm…
#oh welllll. in the end that’s for future me to decide ig…#i’m not even sure if anyone would be interested in it anyway…#maybe i could pay someone to do it for me instead (<-has 0 connections)#hm. maybe i should’ve tried to socialise more in school. maybe i’d have met a p.shop guy or two lmao#oh well. ig it’s video tutorial time… maybe… i hope i don’t fall asleep~~~~ bc it’s for asuna….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#in any case!!!! my mind and productivity has been completely ruined by thoughts on my newfound doomed crackship of asuna x sena#like it’s a ship that could go wrong in so many ways (whether asuna gets with sena or not) and im just. ✨thoughts✨ yk???#i love the concept of rivals/enemies to lovers asumona but. like. asusena. yk.#like picture this: pov you just realised that your loving gf’s sister is the same newbie idol you’ve been unfairly antagonising and such#a n d knowing how strong sena’s sisterly love for mona is… yk??? doomed crackship is ✨doomed✨#aighhtttt ok im done with asuna thoughts for the day i s w e a r#(though ngl if they somehow end up giving asuna a cv and she somehow turns out to be ✨e m i t s u n✨ of honoka-chan fame (very unlikely)…)#(…i will pass on in ✨peace✨ idk i just think her powerful yet soothing voice would suit asuna (<-fell back into ll phase))#o k o k im done fr this time i s w e a r anyways stan asuna frusu ok bye
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can’t believe those shark things met enhypen before me 🚬💔
#guys I watched a video last night of enhypen and it made me seriously love them all over again#like don’t get me wrong I love them so much but these past few months I’ve been so out of touch with kpop and only usually keep up with skz#so enha was pushed to the back of my mind#but last night watching that video and seeing how much they’ve grown as people since when I first stanned them#it made my heart so happy 🥺#my babies are so big now im so proud of them#sorry for being sappy I just had to share !!#chit chat with coco <3
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Okay because my mind’s still on the subject, I have a bit of a weird question, but I just want an answer
So like, my favorite type of drama in series is usually familial drama, most often ones between parents and their children. And also usually, those dramas that I love are specifically between father and son
And now I’m wondering, what are parent-child dramas/dynamics that involve a female character usually like? As in, mother-son, father-daughter, or even mother-daughter? And additionally, are they as interesting as father-son dynamics? Because I feel like I don’t see nearly enough of them, or at least, they never give me that same amount of intrigue or they just aren’t as focused on
By which I mean specifically in my context, would they be interesting in an action based series? I have a particular taste, namely that I like my series (mostly this applies to shows, I’m a bit more flexible with games) to be more action focused, or at least have some fantastical elements to it, or else I don’t care. I’m not interested in soap opera kind of drama, I want something that would fit in an action based show
Sorry, again this is probably a weird request (and to be honest I really don’t expect answers, posts of mine like these usually get little to no attention), but it’s on my mind. I feel like I see so many interesting father-son dynamics and conflicts, but I never see one that involves a woman, at least not when it comes to parent-child dynamics, and not ones nearly as interesting
#I do think it has to do with the demographics of the shows I watch#or at least the ones that I watched as a kid and where my tastes stem from#most notably Ninjago but there were others#one coming to mind was Kaijudo which I loved as a kid and am still fond of (even if mostly just for Raiden’s plots)#(I’m neutral on Gabe and do not care for Allie but Raiden Bob and Saguru are all interesting to me)#anyways going back to my point those and other shows were usually marketed towards boys#and so as a result were probably made to be more male centric#and I think up until at least the past 10? years or so female characters in those shows weren’t usually written the best#as the writers were probably also all men#and so as such the male characters usually have all the interesting stuff#and the conflicts I like#especially as someone who isn’t a big fan of romance which is usually something that comes up with female characters#hell I’m shocked when a series places equal weight on a female character’s relationship with her brother#as well as her love interest#which right now I can only attribute to Xenoblade 1 but still#(and I know Fiora and Shulk’s relationship is more important but Shulk is the main protag so I get it)#fuck I’m writing too much#point is demographics and old writing conventions are probably the cause#and it’s probably gotten better but I don’t know a lot of good female parent-child relationships#questions#tv shows#video games#random stuff
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Not only is my therapist hella supportive of my weird ass goal in therapy to learn shapeshifting (in whatever ways are feesable but especially in dreams) and is cool with all the negative thoughts being a monster comes with (daydreaming about hurting and eating people as a monster doesn’t make me a bad person), but they are roping in a literal shaman to help me out. That’s only part of the reason why, I’m also plagued with sleep hallucinations that are distressing (these are unaffected by my antipsychotics directly as it isn’t psychosis so I’m not gonna request med changes). That is probably the more pressing matter for them but I will be sure to tie it back to my desperate need to be a monster. I need to figure out how to satisfy this need for my mental wellbeing. I want it so bad I have literally offered my soul to entities I perceive as real and evil, hell I do it completely unprompted at times. The fact that I believe it is real and do potentially dangerous things is alarming to me when awake and have my wits about me. It’s essentially like I am drunk and wandering up to random people with a weird request. Some have gently told me they can’t do that, some are rude and tell me horrible things about me and why I don’t deserve to be happy.
Part of this is being billed to my insurance company, which is funny to me, do have to pay the shaman but my therapist is so cool they are not charging me for their time even though it is over the hour limit. They are helping me out because they care/worry about me and it is very nice to feel supported.
#I’m actually not the most spiritual person but am willing to do anything to feel correct#pretty much any attempt at woo leads back to wanting to be a monster#otherkin#monsterkin#therian#my psychiatrist knows I have weird dreams and hallucinations but has no clue what they are and how to treat that#I will let her know they have been increasing#she hurt my feelings by once saying I had a delusion so I’m not sharing anything further than that#it does not matter if I am delusional because a) I refuse to try any other antipsychotic#for fear of side effects#and b) if I’m delusional then believing in a cure hard enough will make it work#placebo effect or mind over matter or whatever#I literally do not care all I know is other people are successful at doing what I want to do#text post#wearing a fursuit helps actually but those are my characters not me#I’m not at a point where I can comfortably commission someone else to do it for me#I do not actually linger too much on the gore aspect#I’d like to I think I ought to really think of the implications of what I want to do#but also obviously I will not literally physically be a monster so don’t plan on hurting anyone#sometimes I look at gore deliberately and am like hmmm#what’s this suppose to be doing this ought to be titillating me#however simulated gore in movies and art is DEF my thing#love to see a monster brutalizing a person#but looking at a bear attack victim with the same injuries I’m like hmmmm ok#I want to tear people limb from limb and eat them#but looking at a real person eaten and torn limb from limb is like ehhh to me#hearing about videos or pictures of people INTENTIONALLY hurt and tortured upsets me can’t do that#I don’t want to hurt people in the people way#just a predator way#it’s not cannibalism fantasies btw not cannibalism if you are not human
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💭
#online diary#this is a bit of a rant so don’t mind this please I just gotta get it out#i hate tiktok with like my whole body#tiktok is such a cesspool I truly can’t wrap my head around it#and it’s such a shame because I think it can be a good place for some artistic videos and I love it for it#i love to see the aesthetic side of it the discovering cool music and all the actual art out of it#i love to see the way other people live specially in other cultures and I love watching makeup tutorials and stuff#and sure even the silly funny videos#but i do think people that are on it so much have actually become dumber#and like so reliable on ‘what’s trending now’ and so consumeristic and even like a bit narcissistic#and like so vain and it haunts me so much how people are just so openly pieces of shit excuses of a person#just so openly racist and fat phobic and every kind of awful person that you can imagine#and just how so full of hate some people are it truly disturbs me#like everything that’s wrong with people is just so common there#and so open to see even if you don’t want to#i think about deleting that app like every couple of days#and i never end up doing it because I know I’ll regret not being able to see all the good all the art and genuine nice stuff:/#anyway im not saying all people that use and like tiktok are bad of course I just get so overwhelmed every time I see the awful people#it like breaks my heart truly
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biggest jumpscare of my life
#my own art on my own fyp??!//!#they credited me so i don’t mind at all#it just caught me so off guard#very sweet video i love johnshi sm
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#sent my mom those bts x harry photos this morning thinking she’d find it cool#since she likes harry#but she literally just. didn’t care and it kind of hurt bc it’s such a huge deal for me#to see him and the boys in the same frame#i thought i’d get some kind of reaction and i just didn’t#so i felt kinda shitty about it#but then my younger sister came over and she came in my room to look around#and started asking me questions about bts while looking at my pc collection#and then she let me pretty much give her a two hour crash course on bts#while asking questions and letting me show her music videos while she tried to study their names/faces better#and it made me feel good bc i never have anyone around to talk to them about out loud in detail#or rave about them with or anything bc my parents don’t careeee so i suppress it all#and i literally said to her ‘i never get to talk about them’ so she just. let me#mind you my sister and i butted heads so much when we were younger bc we’re so close in age#we have very different music tastes#she will likely never stan bts and that’s FINEEE lol#but it’s nice that she respects my love for them and has even gifted me things/merch and keeps her eyes open for things#knowing how much they mean to me#she’s the only one in my family who really supports it without any weird resistance or fakeness like my parents do#even if they do sometimes try to show interest i know it’s not that genuine#anyway long post just feeling nice that my sister cared about the most important thing in my life even just for a little bit
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guys can i talk about that fucking guy. clap if you think i should talk about that fucking guy.
(accidental ramble in the tags. oops. don’t read if you don’t want to read a crisis.)
#yo it's d :)#you already know who that fucking guy is unless you’re new here and that’s none of you so .#i need to start asking my friends if i can talk about that guy but it’s hard honestly#he literally takes up 50 to 80 per cent of my mind on a daily basis#even when i’m not thinking about him i’m thinking of him#i’ll see something blue and be like ‘wow! yk who really likes the color blue?’ and suddenly my brain is flooded with thoughts of Him#don’t get me wrong i love him but i realize that other people don’t care about him as much as i do so i’m trying to dial it back#still. it’s hard.#especially knowing that other people know how to contain themselves and i’m just sitting here raw out in the open like this#to be honest idk how i managed to survive school because since september i’ve kinda been living in mana hell(/heaven. depending on the day)#some people say they have addictive personalities and honestly i think that’s me#my brain is addicted to him! i literally study this man’s face and mannerisms and can tell you exactly how he smiles when his expression#is otherwise neutral. i can relay unnecessary amounts of his band history to you and have watched WAY too many interviews and videos#and the worst part? i literally told myself ‘hey! you can’t get like this again’* because the last time was really bad! it was destructive!#*(about a person.) i literally cannot function sometimes for just thinking about this guy.#i rarely listen to music besides his anymore and can literally tell you characteristic features of his composing! it’s kind of embarrassing!#like i’m a music nerd but i’m not THAT big of a music nerd. i usually can’t tell you things like that. most i can do is tell you#instrumentation. but whenever i listen to something he *mightve* composed i can automatically confirm or deny.#that’s not normal !!!!!!!!#having over *2000* pictures of a person you’ve never met in your phone is not normal!#but despite me being in the goddamn TRENCHES. i love him so so so much.#he genuinely makes me so happy. seeing images/videos of him from any time period makes me go ‘!!!’ because i think he’s the coolest!#and he’s so inspiring. he’s part of the reason i took up drawing again and regained some passion for music.#thus ends my tale of woe.
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Taylor incorporating that little slide she did during her met dance with Tom into the getaway car tour choreography….legendary
#don’t mind me just thinking about that#I think I even made a video edit 💀#love this bitch#the getaway car visuals too - the dress and the tiwycf artwork#rep tour#getaway car
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my brother is being so weird like leave me out of it !!!! i mean he’s having an emotional breakdown or smthg idk but why’s he bringing it to ME !!!! take it to SOMEONE ELSE mr. MONEYBAGS !!!! what do u want from ME !!!! take ur own advice & ‘get over it’ !!!
#diary#like ‘it’s all in ur head !!!’ like yea buddy now u don’t like that it’s in URS huh#wish i cared !#go DRINK ALONE like an ADULT#or do other DRUGS#like sorry i’m spending all my money on drugs & i love it#not him going ‘i love u’ ‘i’m happy that we’re siblings’ girl STOPPPP the DRAMAAA#shut the fuck up !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m not payed enough for this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#he’s like ‘wow work is so tough’ bro u play video games for 6 of the 8 hours u are on the clock#what do u WANT FROM ME !!!!!!!!#i’ve been live typing this since he’s come to bother me#‘do u ever overthink’ what are we 12 i swear to god if he doesn’t threaten to kill himself im going to put my head through a wall ur a grown#he keeps talking abt ‘when u used to go to therapy’ like yea when i went to therapy after telling our father that he was the reason i kept#wanting to kill myself#like nearly 10 years ago & haven’t been back since like 2018 😭😭😭#like if u want to go to therapy do it on ur OWN TIME#bro it’s been like 20 minutes i’m so fucking mad i was going to rest by eyes for 45 minutes before showering but he’s eating up like half of#it & i still have to fucking shower#i’m fumin#the way i’m just laying on the couch silently minding my own business full resting bitch face staring at my phone while he sits on the stool#w his head in his hands like girl get a GRIP#go do this BY URSELF ALONE IN UR ROOM#LIKE EVERYONE FUCKING ELSE IN THIS WORLD#like oh my GOD#if i can do this ??? if i can unhealthily stuff my emotions in myself while relying solely on nicotine caffeine & thc constantly so i can’t#focus on anything in my head :3c#SO CAN U !!!!!#develop REAL addictions douche bag !!!!!#the way he’s saved this shit to pull for MY spring break like ok#so i just can’t fucking enjoy anytbing
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psg are so rancid rn like everything about us stinks but then hakimbappe is like when middle schoolers would do gym and not shower but spray cologne like they’re a spritz of perfume on a giant log of doodoo
#they make me depressed they make me hate football they make me wanna gag in a bad way#i need a new team#but like how do i make myself love a team….how do i make myself care fr fr like FOR REAL#no i might burn the parc to the ground for what they’ve done to me#oh wait we don’t even own the parc might just burn down the ooredoo then it’s not enough but it’s a start#i’ll torch the new training facilities they’re building too#they don’t deserve a fancy training centre they should train in public and be like that game of thrones scene#people throwing matoes and going SHAME SHAME as they do rondos#messi and neymar leaving would fix me a bit ngl…..like that would be a bandaid. i would love a bandaid while i bleed OUT#i’m sad btw!#hm……someone’s got a lot on their mind ©️#nah that arsenal video fully made me sad about my own pathetico team
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