#don’t look too closely at gmas shirt

[anxious-chaos-art]

I was watching onsta and Karina’s miitopia stream, heard “gma and York ibs shirts” and then I blacked out and when I came back this was on my screen

[atlafan]

Nonfamous Harry dating famous yn would be great

a/n: a little bit of fluff, thanks for the idea! 

Starstruck 

Harry couldn’t believe his eyes. There she was, Y/F/N Y/L/N, leaning on the bar, laughing with her friends like she was an ordinary person. Okay, underneath it all, she probably was a normal person, but still, this was a big fucking deal. 

She could sing, and had been in the public eye for quite some time. Harry and his friends were on a little trip to NYC, just to see a show or two. He never thought when they walked into the random bar they chose after seeing The Book of Mormon would lead him to the girl of his dreams. He had been a fan for years. He would tweet about her, respectfully, and even make tik toks saying how amazing he thought she was. 

He had imagined it in his head so many times, but he never thought he’d be in the same room as her, well, he had been, but it was a few of her concerts. 

“Harry, you should go over to her.” One his friends says.

“She’s with her friends, I don’t wanna look like a creep.”

“So just go sit down near where she’s leaning and play it cool. Shoot your shot.” 

Harry takes a deep breath and starts walking over. He didn’t wanna seem like a crazed fan. He didn’t want to cause a frenzy and ruin her evening. He sits down on the stool near where she’s standing and she looks at him. He looks up at her and smiles. She nods at him and looks away. He runs a hand through his hair and looks over at his friends. They gesture for him to try to get her attention again. 

“Whatya have?” The bartender says. 

“Just a shot of tequila, and uh, I’d like to buy her next drink, whatever it is.” This catches Y/N’s attention and he looks at her. “Hope that’s alright.” 

“You know who I am, don’t you...”

“I do.” He sees the visible annoying and defeat on her face.

“Damn, I thought this place would be lowkey.” 

“Woah, woah, listen, I’m a fan, and I just wanted to buy you a drink, that’s all.” 

“Really?” She scoffs. “You mean you haven’t already given up my location? Haven’t tweeted or texted a ton of people?”

“Well...my friends are over there.” Harry points without looking. “And...I wouldn’t do somethin’ like that. I know you like your privacy. I didn’t even want to disturb you, they know I’m a big fan, and-”

“So you started out as a fan, and now you’re a big fan.” She smirks and sits down on the stool next to him. “I’ll have another vodka tonic...on you, right?”

“Absolutely.”

The bartender nods and makes her drink. Harry waits to take his shot. They clink their glasses and he throws his head back. 

“I’ll get the next one, it’s the least I could do since I can’t offer you a picture tonight.” 

“Oh! That’s really okay, I-” He starts to get up, but she grabs his wrist. 

“Relax, you’ve already caught my attention. I don’t get one on one times with fans much anymore, I sort of miss it.”

“Yeah, you don’t really do the meet and greet thing as much...” 

“I felt bad making people wait all the time for two seconds, plus, it’s really tiring.” She sips on her drink. “So, what’s your name, where you from and all that. Clearly you’re not from New York with that accent.” Harry chuckles and nods. 

“Right, yeah, I actually live in upstate New York. My friends and I are just in the city for the weekend to catch some shows we’ve been wanting to see.”

“You still haven’t told me your name.”

“Harry, Harry Styles.” She extends his hand to shake it and he nearly wets himself from the skin on skin contact. 

“What brought you to New York on the first place?”

“University. I’m in a doctorate program now, so I’m teachin’. I plan to go back to London once I’m done.”

“Oh, I love London.” She swoons. “I always have fun performing there, and I love going to BBC radio. Actually, any of the radio stations are fun to visit. I love the people at Capital FM.” 

“I can’t lie, I love whenever your interviews get posted on YouTube...”

“I appreciate that, you’re sweet.” She smiles. She was feeling a little tipsy and was looking for a little bit of fun. Harry was cute, really cute. “So you must know why I’m in New York then?”

“I actually didn’t put two and two together...but...oh! I heard rumors you might finally be doing Hot Ones.” She winks at him, but doesn’t confirm. 

“I’m here for a few things. I’m actually performing on GMA in a couple of days. How long are you in the city for?”

“Tonight’s our last night.”

“Hm, too bad. I probably could’ve gotten you tickets to the show.”

“I’d drive back.” He smiles. “Yikes, that sounded desperate.” She can’t help but giggle. 

“You really like my music, huh?”

“I do. You’re one of my favorite artists.” 

She’s tapped on the shoulder by one of her friends. She turns to her to chat and he takes the opportunity to look at his friends who are all giving him a thumbs up. He notices her wave her friends off. 

“Harry?” She says turning back to you. “I don’t wanna get too drunk here.” She says, putting some cash down on the bar. 

“Oh, well, I really appreciate your time, thanks so much for talkin’ to me.”

“You’re too cute, the night’s not over yet...not if you don’t want it to be.”

“What are you sayin’ exactly?” 

“I’m saying...well...my car’s pulling up out back and you’re welcome to come back with me.” 

“Are you serious?”

“Sure.” She shrugs. 

He gets up and follows her out, not even bothering to look at her friends. They go down a long hallway and a man opens the door for them. Another man opens up the car door and they both get in. There was a driver already up front. She tells him what streets to take to avoid papz, he nods, and rolls the partition up.

“Bert is the best driver I’ve ever had. Simply the best.” Harry was trying not to shake. He wasn’t sure what was happening. “Don’t look so nervous.” She places her hand on his knee. “I don’t typically do this with fans. I mean, I wouldn’t even date a fan to be honest with you.” 

“So...what’s happening right now?”

“I don’t know...you’re really cute, and...I thought it was sweet that you genuinely just wanted to buy me a drink and chat. No one ever does that for me. You seem...normal.” 

“In case you’re already runnin’ a background check on me, I do make posts about you sometimes...nothing that would show up in a thirst tweet video or anything...but like I said, I’m a big fan.”

“Do you have a shrine to me in your closet?”

“Jesus, no.” 

“Alright, then we’re good.” She shrugs. The car stops. “We’re here. We’re going in back, but keep your head down the entire time.” She puts a pair of sunglasses on and out the door they go. 

Harry stays quiet as he follows close. She leads him down a few bare halls, and then they come to an elevator.

“Ever been to a penthouse suite before?”

“Can’t say I have.” He smirks. 

“Well, you’re in for a treat. This is one of my favorite hotels to stay at when I come here.”

They get off on the floor, and go down the hall to a large double door. She keys in and kicks her heels off. 

“Finally.” She sighs. “If I weren’t so short, I wouldn’t even wear those things. Can I get you a drink?” She walks over to the mini bar and grabs some tequila and orange juice. “Feel free to say no.”

“A drink sounds great, actually.” 

She makes them up and he sits on the couch. She rifles through the desk in the living area. She brings over a pen and a few papers.

“What’s this?”

“It’s an NDA.” She sighs. “Before we continue chatting you have to sign it. My manager insists on it, and so do I. You could easily run out of here and report everything to the press.” 

“I thought this was just...a rumor.” He takes the papers and pen from her. “But I’m happy to sign. You have a right to privacy like everyone else.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that, Harry, really I do.” 

He hands everything back to her after he signs, and she takes pictures, sending everything to her manager. 

“Would you mind keep your phone where I could see it too? I’m sorry.”

“Sure!” He takes it out of his pocket. He even turns it off, and then sets it on the glass coffee table.

“Thank you.” She smiles. “You have so many tattoos.” She points to his left arm. “Tell me all about them.” 

They talk for a while, having a lot of pleasant conversation. She loved the sound of his accent, it  was intoxicating. And because Harry was so nervous, he didn’t mind talking about a storm. He looks down at his watch and sees that it’s nearly 3AM. 

“It’s gettin’ late...you must be wanting to go to sleep.”

“You’re a real gentleman, you know that? You haven’t made a single move on me all night.”

“I...I’m just trying to be respectful. This has already been the greatest night of my life.” 

“Would you like it to get better?”

“What do you mean?”

“Harry.” She sighs. “Not that you need to do anything you don’t want to...but don’t you want to?”

“Like...have sex?” 

“Yeah.”

“You want to have sex with me?” 

“Mhm, you’re really handsome. But if you’d rather leave, that’s fine too.” She smiles. “No pressure.” 

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

The kiss lead to some heavy petting, and the heavy petting lead to Harry having sex right there on that couch with Y/N. And that lead to him sleeping in her comfy hotel bed. Well, they didn’t get much sleep because they had sex at least two more times. Once he passed out she looked up his accounts on her phone. She wanted to know just exactly what he might be saying about her in the social media world. It really wasn’t anything bad. It was mostly memes or him telling people to stream her music. Not the worst she’d seen. When he wakes up he feels like he’s in a dream.

“Morning.” She says.

“Hi.” He smiles. “I’ll, uh, get outta your hair.” He gets up and grabs his boxers and other clothes. She grabs one of her large bed shirts to throw on.

“Wait! I promised you tickets to the GMA performance.”

“No you didn’t.”

“But I wanna give them to you. I’ll put your name on a few lists, you can come back stage. I’d expect you to say hi.”

“You’ll really remember be in a few days?” 

“Of course! I don’t think I’d forget the guy that gave me six orgasms.” He blushes at her words. 

“Right.” 

“I’ll need your phone number and all that.” She hands him his phone, and he cautiously takes it to add his number. He texts himself. “Thanks.” 

“Well...thanks for an incredible night.”

“No, thank you. I know you’re going back to your friends, but remember what you signed...”

“Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.”

“Good.” 

Harry had no idea his life was going to get turned upside down by going to that GMA performance. He was able to go on a real date with Y/N and they continued to hit it off. A budding relationship was getting ready to bloom. 

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Thunderstorms

Thanks to @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles for letting me run away with this idea. It’s not quite what we discussed but we all know I’m a soft ass bitch. 

Michael’s definitely the dad that got his quirks. He’s chill about somethings and apprehensive about others. And though a beach day turns in early, it’s a good reminder Michael’s always there for his family. 

Reader Insert. No specific race. 

Enjoy my masterlist. 

You can support me on kofi. 

__________________________

It’s a bit of a gamble, attempting to head east during the summer. But it has been a while since you saw your family and the kids are dying to see their GrandPops and Gma as your parents were affectionately dubbed. Both you and Michael figured it is safer to go early in the summer months, the chances of storms or hurricanes wasn’t zero, but it is significantly lower than waiting until August or so. So that leads you here, in late June that holds just on the horizon cookouts and BBQ’s that are famous in your family. 

Until a strong breeze comes through, bringing with it dark clouds. You look out to the sea, the breeze whipping sand up and the edges of your towel are fluttering too. “We should get home,” you warn Michael quietly. 

He’s sitting next to you, arms folded behind his head as he lounges in the foldable chair You decided to help the baby, Orion, put the last touches on her sandcastle. It’s not much of a castle at all, but it makes her content and there’s no way you’re going to fight that. Michael doesn’t respond, chest still rising and falling. 

You turn your gaze back to the kids. Orion latches onto Treyvon’s arm, attempting to get him over to look at her castle. He packs down the sand in his own bucket. “I’m coming, Ri,” he returns. Treyvon’s the oldest at 8 and Orion’s just behind him at 6. They trot back over to you and you turn back to Michael, tapping at his calf. “Michael, baby,” you say a bit louder to wake him. 

He groans, head snapping over to you. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Even though he’s wearing sunglasses, you see how tired he is. Last week he had some trouble sleeping and then Orion was sick. While Michael and Treyvon were thick as thieves, there is a soft spot in Michael’s heart for his little girl. There is nothing that she can’t get from Michael. All she has to blink her eyelashes and candy, toys, clothes, extra helpings of ice cream, first dibs on which section of the cornbread she wants is all hers.

 Michael spent most of the nights up nursing Orion, checking that her fever broke, that she drank plenty of fluids, nursing the tummy aches, giving her the extra snuggles that eased her into slumber. You were tempted to rebook the airline tickets for later. Orion didn’t get sick often, so you figured it had to be something serious. However by about Tuesday night, she was on the up and up. Though Michael kept a close eye on her throughout the rest of the week. 

You rub your hand over his knee, nodding out to the sea. More families are packing up from the beach. “Storm’s coming in.”

 Michael looks over the water and sees the dark clouds on the horizon too. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Don’t know. I’ve been in the hardhat zone over here for a while,” you tease. Michael chuckles, falling back into the scratchy material of the seat. “You’re going to get the tour next.”

It’s a quiet warning and no sooner than it leaves your mouth, Orion comes kicking up sand, hand reaching out for Michael’s. “Look, Papa,” she grins. Though she’s dropped the “Bear” right now, you know the grin that takes over Michael’s face. 

You started the trend, calling him Papa Bear when the kids were young, even before then. With Treyvon, you’d tease to Michael that he was a cuddly bear and therefore a Papa Bear, like in the book “Hop on Pop.” However, Michael demanded that no one actually hop on him. The demand was short lived once the babies got big enough to jump on the beds. Occasionally a spleen would take a foot coming down in all the excitement. 

Michael groans as he pushes up from the chair and follows Orion over to her two part sandcastle. You’re sure to snap a photo as Michael settles into the sand, listening intently as she explains the shells as windows and the twig on top as the flag. “It’s truly a masterpiece, sweetpea,” he offers, pulling her into a hug and kissing her temple. “So who’s the queen of this castle? You?”

“Mama!” Orion smiles up at you. “She’s the queen. One day I will too.”

“That’s right,” you and Michael echo. Orion’s greeted with a kiss on the forehead from you and a kiss on the cheek from Michael. Her giggles are soft. She’s a bit shy like Michael, would rather not be the center of attention except if it’s her birthday or if she’s with Michael. Then all bets are off. 

“We gotta head back to GrandPops and Gma’s,” Michael announces, throwing a glance over his shoulder to spy Treyvon turning over a bucket of dense sand. “You’re too far buddy. Stay closer to us.”

“But my castle, Dad.”

“I know. But you’re still too far from me. Just making sure you’re safe, bud.”

Trey’s pout is evident and you stop packing the bag. “I’ll stay with him if you finish packing the bag. I’ll snap a photo of it once you’re done too, Trey. But then we gotta head back. Storm’s coming in fast.”

Trey nods eagerly, running back down the shore and you follow behind with Orion’s spare bucket with her permission. She sticks close to Michael, but offers the left over of her shells for Trey’s castle too. You and Trey make quick work to fill the buckets. “What’s that?” Trey asks, taking his shovel and poking at something in the sand.

It takes a moment for you to spy it in the wet sand, but when Trey pokes it again, it jiggles slightly. The clear body camouflaging itself in the sand. “Jellyfish,” you say, taking hold of his wrist to pull him back. “Those stings hurt. Be careful.”

“It looks dead, Mama.”

“Doesn’t mean it is dead, though. Come on my side and finish filling your bucket, okay?”

“Ma,” Trey groans but when he sees the stern gaze and hard set lines he nods and takes your spot. It does look dead. But you can already see the sight if Trey gets stung. Your parents will have a fit. Michael will panic and wil not sleep for the rest of the vacation, worried about his little man. You get it, to be honest. You’ll be right up with Michael. But if you can avoid that, you will. You will do whatever it takes to avoid that. 

It’s only another minute or so before Trey’s finished and the two of you come back with more sand, packed in tightly. ON the count, you flip them over, but only after getting Treyvon’s specific instructions. He’s particular and neat. Won’t leave anything a mess. Once the pieces are mostly standing, he hands you some shells and you decorate the tiny dumes you’ve created. Michael already had most of the beach gear packed up. 

“What do you think?” you ask Trey taking a step back to admire the four tower castle. 

“Wish I had time for like the moat, but it looks pretty good.” You make sure to take a picture, Trey standing behind the masterpiece and quickly finish up packing away the tools. The rinse off is quick, mostly brushing over the kids with the spare towels and making sure all sand is gone from toes, legs and backs. 

“What’s for dinner?” Trey asks from the backseat. 

You stop at the redlight, still peering up into the skies. “I think Gma is insisting on a taco night.”

“Tacos sound good,” Orion interjects. “I like tacos.”

“Can I put hot sauce on mine?” Trey asks. He’s taken a strong liking to spicy food and though Michael’s always worried that something bad will happen, you always sneak in a few daps of spicy sauces when you can. 

“I don’t know, bub. Could mess up your stomach,” Michael responds, turning in the passenger seat to look to his son.

Trey knows the secret though. He looks into the mirror in the middle of the car and you catch his eye with a wink. “Okay, maybe next time.” 

“I hear some stinky monsters,” your dad jokes, peeking his head out from the kitchen at the sound of you opening the door. 

The kids charge down the hallway, varying degrees of volume to their roar or scream. You know your mother’s going to drop them a little snack but they can’t go too much longer without a bath. South and Moose click their paws on the hardwood floors racing their way to you guys. Your parents dognapped them to take them out and you were halfway expecting Moose to have too much energy and your parents calling that they’ll be dropping her off with you guys at the beach. Even though she had gotten older over the years, she still had her spirit of her puppyhood. But that fear never came to fruition. 

South climbs into Michael’s arms, curling up into the familiar embrace. “Oh, it wasn’t that bad, was it Southy?”

As the dogs settle back down, you know the kids should be done with their snack. So you’re quick to corral them. “Up the stairs. There we go. Up and attem. We shall not be stinky monsters any more.”

“I quite like being stinky,” Trey returns. His ascent is paused to deliver the line and Michael is quick to haul him up and over his shoulder. Trey laughs. “I take it back. I don’t like being stinky.”

“Oh, no, no, no, too late now.” Their laughter echoes long after Michael draws the bath for Trey in the guest bathroom and you take Orion into your parents bathroom. 

“Can I wear my owl pj’s?” Orion asks wrapped in her towel. “I like the owls better.”

“You can wear them, sure.” After you unearth them from the suitcase, you lay them out of the bed and shut the door for her to get dressed. She takes great pride in doing it herself, though sometimes you have to catch the backwards t-shirt before she waltz outside the house. 

“Uh oh, looks like you’re locked out for a few minutes bud.” Michael’s holding the mass of Trey’s swimming trunks and towel. Trey’s dressed already which is good. But if he wanted to grab anything, like a book, or a toy, he is out of luck for a bit. 

“That’s okay. I’m gonna go help Gma.” Trey’s descendant down to the main floor is more nosey that you would normally like, but there’s not too much to say. 

“I started a pile in my parent’s bathroom, which I’ll have to get up soon, if you just wanted to dump those for now and then shower yourself,” you offer, hands out for the dirty clothes. 

“All my stuff is still in the bedroom. So, I’m locked out too. But I’ll grab her stuff and start a load of laundry.”

“If you want, but we still have our clothes and towels too.”

“Good thing laundry is free,” he teases, disappearing down the hallway. When he returns, he has Orion’s bathing suit and towel as well. 

Over the years, coming back home feels like never leaving. Your mother is all too happy to be loads of laundry though, she refuses to fold a damn thing. That’s the job for everyone else and no one complains. Food is always plentiful, though you do sneak cash into your mother’s purse to cover the extra expense in grocery. Your father always has to the one to say he put it there so no fights ensue. Though, you know your mother knows it’s you. But visiting wouldn’t be the same if the cycle didn’t occur. 

Visiting your parents isn’t always ideal, though it had its perks. Specifically because of the sleeping situation and only because of the sleeping situation. There’s one only one spare room fit for housing guests The second bedroom was converted into a study, where you can remember spending too many nights up and staring out of the windows, or sneaking out of them. 

The guest room was originally your old room, but your mother couldn’t stop her decorative itch once you moved out. The room worked, even when there was only a limited number of bathrooms as well. The bed was big enough that the kids could sleep on it even with the way Orion fitfully slept. Michael always told you to sleep on the bed with the kids. He could fit on the mattress, that wasn’t a problem, but he knew that it was cramped sometimes. So Michael sleeps on the floor at the foot of the bed. It never lasted long that he was there by himself because you always slinked down from the bed. 

At first you’d lay with your head at the foot of the bed, with one arm dangling and he always reaches up to capture your fingers with his. And then you ask him to join you on the bed. Sometimes he gives in. Sometimes he doesn’t. And when he doesn’t you crawl down, thankful for the carpet that your parents hadn’t ripped up yet. The beauty of it all is that you made it work. And you hoped maybe they kids would always remember that it might’ve been a little cramped at times but you always made it work. 

The door creaks open and Orion smiles before taking her more quiet escape back downstairs. “Aha, there’s my daughter. I went looking for you,” Michael laughs. 

“Ya found me! Now shower, Papa Bear. You stink too.”

“On it,” he giggles with a salute and continues on up the stairs. There’s a rumble, as Michael pulls out his clothes. His ears pick up on the distant but not too far away rumble of thunder. He didn’t think the storm was that close. But when you mentioned getting back to your parents back, he knew he shouldn’t wait on it. 

The steam’s already billowing when Michael cracks open the door. Your pile of clothes on the sink counter. Your humming settles into Michael’s chest as he peels himself out of the trunks and sweaty t-shirt. It’s not clear if it’s a song or just content humming, but he enjoys the sound either way. 

“Got space for one more?” He asks. 

You peek out from the curtain and grin. “Of course I do.” 

You step away from the water, letting Michael in front as you lather soap over your chest and arms. It shouldn’t be this much of a shock. He shouldn’t be in such awe watching you. But he is. That’s just the plain truth of it. It doesn’t feel like it’s been nearly 12 years together. It doesn’t feel like it took you two years to have your first kid. It doesn’t feel like you’ve been there for three albums, three insane tours, two kids, a couple foster kittens, the two dogs, some nasty scandals. No, you’ve just been there for the blink of an eye. You’ve been there late in the nights when Michael couldn’t sleep, when that song wouldn’t let him go. You peeled him away from the video games, and though he’s been slowly introducing Trey and Orion into his hobby, you brought him into a realm of reality that he didn’t feel like he had to constantly escape. 

“Is there something on my face?” you ask, watching the way Michael’s been standing under the sprinkle of the shower staring at you. 

“Yeah, you look a lot like my spouse. And I still can’t believe it.”

“That’s funny. You look a lot like my husband. But I swear, it’s been like twelve years since I’ve seen him.”

His fingers are wet, but they’re soft cupping your chin. “I hope I’m a good stand in.”

You shake your head, one of your sudsy hand cupping the back of his neck. “Not a good stand in. Because you’re the best original I’ve ever had.”

The tender confession warms on his entire body. His chest squeezes for a moment and all there is to do is kiss you, pull you in close by your hip and melt into your touch. Michael’s grateful it’s you that he’s spent this last decade with. Anyone else and he’s sure it would’ve gone poorly. But not with you, with you it’s easy--sure there are issues here and there, but you’ve never once wanted to go to bed mad at each other. You haven’t once, even in all the tears and justified anger, felt like the only choice for you was to run. You dug your heels even deeper when the seas got rocky and said over and over with your actions that you weren’t going to leave. 

And sure, there was a couple times that leaving did seem like a more viable option, when rumors kept churning the mill and when it seemed like Michael would never come back home to you. But you stuck it out. You figured out a way to make it work and Michael can’t be more grateful that it's been you. “I love you,” he breathes as the water runs down his back. It’s starting to lose its heat. But he’s warm with you close. 

“I love you. Even if you ‘tink,” you tease, using the variation of stink that you used to coo at the kids when they were babies. 

He laughs, a bit of a squeak leaving his throat. “I do not ‘tink!”

“Hmm, I’d beg to differ.” 

You steal Michael’s sweatshirt, fresh from your shower and before he can object your mother is calling. “Dinner’s ready!” Her shout is greeted by another rumble of thunder. 

“I’m only letting this thievery go because of food,” Michael says to you. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure. It’s not because I’m sexier in your clothes.”

Michael shrugs, a slight noise of agreement leaving his throat. “Potentially.” He stops you right at the top of the stairs, kissing your forehead, down the bridge of your nose and across your cheeks.

Your giggles are high pitched and you’re clutching at his t-shirt trying to curl up and duck away from the affection. “I’m hungry,” you pout, the smell of the tacos floating up from the kitchen now. 

“Oh, dear, let’s get you to some food, stat.”

The dinner is an array of shells, soft or hard, meat, and toppings--ranging from sour cream to hot sauce. You help assemble Treyvon’s plate, only to sneak a couple dabs of the hot sauce for him and he kisses your cheeks. “Thanks,” he whispers. 

“Anytime, bub.” 

Your parents asks about the beach with Trey and Orion are more than happy to recount. They list off who won footraces and how many laps they did in the water. Trey talks about the jellyfish he countered and Orion talks about the shells she collected. Your parents listen carefully, no doubt having heard of all these adventures already. 

“But we had to leave early because the storm,” Orion concludes. The thunder’s been rumbling steadily. You’re not sure if lightning is going to accompany this storm. The windows that are drawn are showing just how dark the skies are and how fast the clouds are rolling in. The rain hasn’t fallen yet, but it’s going to be soon. 

“Blanket fort?” you ask as the kids drop their plates off near the sink. 

“We need cookies,” Trey counters. You can only laugh but have to agree. “Blanket forts require cookies.”

“Let’s clean up first. One mess at a time.”

“One mess at a time,” Trey echoes and takes up the dishrag ready to dry all the utensils that come down from the washing rack. The kitchen assembly line works effectively. You wash as Trey dries. Orion helps put some dishes up where she can reach and Michael floats, drying the larger pots and pans and putting them up for Orion as well. 

Your parents, after the kitchen is cleaned, head up to their room but you take over preheating the oven and figuring which cookies the kids want. Orion takes charge on placing them on the cookie sheet, making sure her sugar cookies are delicately spaced. A loud rumble echoes outside the house and the rain isn’t slow to fail either. It cascades down in sheets and you think it’s definitely a good time to build a blanket fort in the living room. The darkness isn’t thick itself--there’s still an undercurrent of blue in the gray that’s taken over the sky. The rain blurs the outside world, as if your eyes are out of focus. 

Michael’s chuckles alert you that he’s already getting started on rearranging the living room. Orion hugs onto your leg and lower waist as you both look out to the storm. “I want to run in the storm.”

You rub your hand over her back. “You’d get your favorite pj’s all wet and then you’d have to shower again.”

“I know. But that’s okay.” There’s a harsh strike of lightning and Orion shakes her head. “On second thought, maybe not.”

“Oh maybe not,” you laugh and turn your attention to the living room. The fort is coming together. Though the dogs are doing their best to attack the sheets and blankets. And for the moment, you’re not at your parents house anymore. You’re not standing in your childhood kitchen. You’re at home. You’re laughing at your husband’s attempts at building a blanket fort being thwarted by your own dogs. 

“We need a movie!” Trey shouts, popping out from the inside of the fort, one pillow still clutched in his grasp.

“Yes!” Orion agrees. 

You hadn’t necessarily planned on a movie night. But thankfully, you’re better with passwords than your husband and you know from having to troubleshoot with your parents over FaceTime that their TV does have the Netflix app already downloaded. You’re not sure if they’ve logged in or not. “Thank goodness for technology,” you laugh but nod at the request. 

The timer for the cookie’s finally chimes and you pull them out of the oven. They’re perfectly golden, filling the whole kitchen with the smell of baked vanilla and sugar. Orion gets a plate of cookies as does Trey. The rain is still falling in sheets, hitting the panes and side of the house and coating the background in a white noise, a constant and steady sound. Michael’s turned out of the main lights to the living room, leaving on the soft table lamp that can’t fully bleed due to the sheets, but it cuts through just enough. 

You and Michael settle towards the back of the fort, the kids laying on their pillows as you pull up the app. It takes a few minutes to settle onto a movie. Michael jokingly suggests a scary movie but Orion’s adamant against it through Trey looks intrigued. Michael winks at him, noticing the twinkle in his eye. Orion no doubt won’t make it past the first movie and when she falls asleep, Michael knows you’ll put it up to a pure vote. Trey nods at his dad and let’s the choice for the animated Spiderverse movie be the family friendly win of the night. 

Michael’s hold around your waist is reassuring and you rest more weight into him. “Look, I’m voting no on a scary movie. But if something happens after I’m asleep and Trey has nightmares, it’s on you.”

“There’s nothing that gets past you, huh?”

“Of course not. I see,” a yawn interrupts your thought, “everything.”

“Can’t see nothing with your eyes closed.”

“I can see perfectly fine with my eyes closed,” you retort. Michael doesn’t say anything when you snuggle deeper into his side, arms winding around his torso. The kids giggle, even dance along to some of the songs in the soundtrack. Michael watches them, a smile on his face. These are his kids. They can sometimes butt head in ways he hadn’t ever imagined kids could do, he’s happy that they’re his. Orion acts out Doc Oc’s big reveal scene and Trey’s laughter keeps him from acting seriously. 

The dogs catch onto the ruckus and start to investigate but when neither Orion or Trey given in too seriously they settle back down. And it’s just his kiddos, being the absolute joy that they are, acting alongside a film they’ve seen way too many times. But no matter how many times they beg for it, or agree on it, they love it all the same. There’s still the same wonder and awe like the first time they saw it. 

“Let me guess,” you start, eyes still closed. “Orion’s Doc Oc. Trey’s Miles, you’re Peter Parker and I’m just the old person in the corner half asleep.”

“Close. I’m the old man in the corner with his spouse, so you know, two old folks today.”

“Damn,” you giggle, slowly opening your eyes. “I’ll get it next time.”

He nods, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Definitely next time.” 

It’s only in the silence of the credits fully rolled that, Michael notices that the storm’s mostly passed. It’s still dark, and there’s still a soft patter of rain, but it seems the brunt of it has come and gone. Orion’s crawled up into your lap and you’ve turned, curling up around her. It won’t be long before the two of you fall back into sleep. 

Trey grins, but follows behind Michael as they take the plates and place them into the sink to be washed from the sugary goodness. “Thanks,” Michael grins taking the plate Trey’s carrying. 

“You’re welcome, Dad. How scary are we gonna get?”

“How scared do you wanna be?”

“I ain’t scared.”

Michael can’t help the laughter that shakes his shoulder, watching Trey puff out his chest. “Well, we’ll definitely see about that.” 

Trey nods defiantly at his father. He can handle scary things. It’s not even real in the end. Once the dishes are done, they slide back into the blanket fort and Trey lays across his pillow again as Michael browses the horror section. If you were awake, you would’ve snatched the remote by now and landed him with stern glare. He knows that you sneak the hot sauce. And he’s sure you know he sneaks things too. What would be the point of it all if their kids didn’t feel safe and understood? Sure, it probably doesn’t make sense to sneak like this and the two of you could have an adult conversation. But sometimes it’s nice. It’s just a thing that him and Trey have. Because they kids need that. They need a thing that they have just with one parent, so that they always know that they’re going to be there. 

They eventually settle on a movie. It’s not too scary, but the introduction definitely pushes the boundaries on the amount of gore that Michael would normally let slide. As it progress, the blood volume reduces. It’s mostly jumpscares that the movie relies on, but one or two even get Michael. Trey sits up and without much thought Michael leans forward. Not to swoop in just yet but hovering close by, just in case. There’s a lull in the plot, and Trey seems to relax. 

“Want to call it quits?” Michael asks.

“Like ten more minutes,” Treyvon offers. It’s not too bad, but it does scare him just a little bit. And it’s mostly that beginning. He’s used to movies that start a little slower on the whole gore thing and this one started right out of the gate. He’s not sure if ten more minutes is the smartest idea. But the end has to be coming up soon. He can hold out for just a little bit longer. Though, as it progress, that uneasy feeling creeps back up. Trey turns and finds his father’s hand already stretched out. 

“Done?”

Treyvon shakes his head. It’s a small comfort to settle into his dad’s lap. “How much more time is left?”

With a quick pause, Michael reveals they still have half an hour left. “Still a good chunk of time left.”

“Can we take a break?”

“Yeah of course.” Michael exits the movie completely letting the Netflix homepage fill the screen of the TV. Treyvon exhales, burying his face into Michael’s chest. “I’m sorry. Didn’t seem so bad.”

“Not your fault,” Trey mumbles. 

Michael runs his hand over Trey’s back, holding him tight and secure to his body. “You’re safe. I’m here. And there’s Southy and Moose to protect you too.”

“Dad, I love them. But they’re old,” Trey laughs.  

“Oh, Moose,” Michael pauses on the thought. “No, come to think of it, she’d roll over for pets in a heart beat.”

“See!” Treyvon giggles. 

“Palette cleanse. Let’s watch some cartoons.”

“Maybe we can finish that movie in the morning?”

“If you’re up for it,” Michael agrees. Michael won’t bring it up unless Treyvon does; it was kind of intense from the start and it’s no fault of Treyvon if he doesn’t want to finish it now or in the morning. They watch another hour of cartoons before Michael can tell Treyvon’s fallen asleep. He could wake you, carry both kids to the bed and properly sleep through the night. Or Michael can let one more episode pass of the show and then turn it off, leaving on the soft lamp and letting himself fall asleep too, just slide down to the floor and bring a pillow up for Treyvon while he keeps close by. 

“Not going upstairs?” you ask softly into Michael’s ear. 

“You feel like carrying either child upstairs?”

With a soft giggle, you kiss his cheek. “Absolutely not.” You settle behind Michael, back pressed into his as you keep an eye on Orion curled up on her pillow and find one the spare sheets to drape over her. 

Michael knows someone’s staring at him. He can feel the fire behind the gaze even if he’s eyes are still closed. If it were one of the kids, they’d be poking at his face or arms, or stomach. Instead it’s just a stare, just the hairs along his neck standing up on end. “If I’m in trouble, can I have a cup of coffee first?”

“A scary movie? Michael, really?”

It’s right on the tip of his tongue to make a joke that the omission of the nickname babe is much too severe for one scary movie. But if he says that, it’s going to reveal the whole secret. “We did a palette cleanse. I was up the entire time.” Michael blinks open his eyes to see you, kneeling next to him. The kids are missing from the fort. The clink of forks alerts him that they’re probably eating breakfast. 

“He’s been quiet the whole morning. Which is not like Trey at all. You say no to hot sauce but yes to a fucking horror film.” Your voice is firm but a whisper. 

“You say yes to hot sauce and no to horror films.”

While Michael’s right, and you don’t want him to be, you know you don’t have a full leg to stand on. Sighing you fall to your butt, hugging your knees to your chest. “Fix it. I don’t care how. Don’t care if it’s ice cream at every meal. But I need my son back and you agreed to the horror film.”

It’s a fair call and Michael nods, finally sitting up from the floor. “On it. Also, good morning.”

You huff, and swat at his butt as he crawls out from the fort. “Good morning to you too, angel.”

He giggles at the sickly sweet sarcasm but pads into the kitchen. Both kids sit, eating at their waffles and bacon. “Morning, Papa Bear!” Orion greets with a bright grin. Michael kisses the top of her head and squeezes Treyvon’s shoulder. 

The boy is slow to meet the gaze and mumble out a greeting. Michael knows it’s bad. He probably should’ve turned the movie off after the first fifteen minutes. Orion’s finished first and gets excused from the table. The thud of Michael’s coffee cup echoes for a moment. “How’d you sleep?” Michael asks. 

“Okay.” There’s a pause and Trey looks up from his plate. “Movie was a little scarier than I thought,” he whispers, glancing into the living room, trying to keep the secret from you. 

“It’s okay. It scared me a little too at times.”

“I think Mom knows something. I don’t want to get in trouble.”

Michael ruffles Treyvon’s hair. “Bud, the only one getting into trouble might be me. But not you. You got my permission to watch the movie, so it wasn’t like you disobeyed anyone and you didn’t break a rule. I just picked not the best film for us to watch. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you that badly with the film.”

There’s not a rule against scary movies. Most of your objection is just Trey’s age and wanting to wait until he’s a bit older. However, Michael knows that sometimes a good scare isn’t that bad. Besides, the movies normally get vetted by him first. Michael looks through them to see which ones are too violent or not appropriate for kids. And last night, on a slightly last minute decision, Michael made a call and it was just the wrong one. That’s his mistake not Trey’s. 

Treyvon nods at Michael’s apology. “I-I don’t want to finish it. I wanted to look strong, but,” he shakes his head. “I don’t--”

Michael nods. “No problem. We can watch more cartoons, get some ice cream at lunch.”

“Mint chocolate?”

“With all the sprinkles your tummy can handle it,” Michael grins. 

“Add gummy bears and it’s a deal.”

Michael thinks for a second, running a hand over his beard. It’s an instant yes. But he pretends for just a moment. “Alright, you drive a hard bargain. Gummy bears too.”

Treyvon’s quick to finish his breakfast. “Thanks, Dad. For like understanding and everything about the movie. And, I know you didn’t mean to pick such a scary movie. I’m-I’m just glad you were there.”

“I’m always going to be there, Treyvon. Always. I’m your dad. I’m always going to be there.”

Trey slips down from the chair and hugs Michael. “Thanks.”

“Of course. You’re welcome.”

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom ch.2

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with wife @firstofficertightpants

The place actually happened to be like, right on the edge of Little Homeworld. Outside had full glass windows, tall, that reached the ceiling. Inside the lighting was dim, and a bit smokey. You figured it looked alright enough to head in, and gave the bouncer your ID. He nodded and you walked in. It smelt of cigars, and of cinnamon, and it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. A pretty woman in a low-cut red dress was playing the piano on the stage, and it was some contemporary jazz piece. The low murmur of people talking filled the air in between the swells of music, and the place actually seemed busy with people and even gems enjoying themselves. You liked the vibe. It was.. comfortable. At ease. You looked over at the bar, rather than any of the tables, and saw a spot near the end. Perfect. Right by the bathroom. You headed over and plopped down on the stool. There were three empty at the end, so you took the one in the middle, which had the best view of the stage from back here.

While waiting for the bartender to come back down this side, you took the chance to look  at the people around you. A couple familiar faces.. small town you know? And some new ones. New gems too. You can see Mr. Fryman sitting at a table with Kofi and Nanefua, and they look like they’re playing poker. You try not to snicker since Kofi looks absolutely blasted, and Mr. Fryman is cursing up a storm because Nanefua is clearly winning. You see her wink at Mr. Fryman. You suspect a rigged game.

Your phone chimes a couple times. You pull it out of your bag, and check to see who’s bothering you. Ah. The group chat.

    Alex: ughhh you guys my gmas killing me

    Alex: no seriously mexico fucking blows rn 

    Alex: i cant step outside without feeling like my balls are melting off my body

    Alex: and my brother won’t stop listening to the book of mormon soundtrack

    Alex: im going insane

Your friends are so melodramatic. You type out a couple of replies.

    Y/N: You should be used to mexican summers by now, you go every year.

    Y/N: And for the record, your brother is valid. Book of Mormon slaps.

    Alex: what the fuck youre supposed to be on my side u ass

    Alex: i thought our special thing was wicked. OUR SPECIAL THING, Y/N

    Y/N: I’m allowed to like multiple things. Including musicals. 

    Alex: never. fuck you. also what are you even doing rn come play minecraft with me

    Y/N: Yeah as much as I’d like to, I can’t.

“Y/N! So you finally came to see what this place is all about! What can I get ya?” you hear a familiar voice ask. Turning around to face the voice, you see Bismuth wearing her usual overalls and a rather nice looking bow tie. 

“Hey Bis, how’s it going? I like what you’ve done with the place. It’s nice. And uh, I’ll just take a hard cider for now.” You smile at her and set your phone down for a minute.

“Thank you! After we finished Little Homeworld, I had to find something else to focus on in my down time.” She explains while grabbing your drink from the fridge under her side of the bar, and opens it. “So tell me,” She sits the drink in front of you and leans on the counter. “What brings you out here today?”

You take a rather long sip from your drink before meeting the large gems eyes. On the stage, a tall, beardy man replaces the woman that just finished her piece. He immediately starts this jaunty, irish tune. He’s singing loudly, and it’s not bad. A couple of people are clapping to the tune.

“I just really needed to get out.” You replied, taking another sip from your drink. “I was kinda hoping I’d meet someone new, maybe get another friend to hang out with, since my friends wanted to ditch me this summer.” As you’re saying this, more people join the clapping. It’s getting a bit rowdy. “Or maybe at least get drunk enough to forget how lonely I feel.” You add, shrugging. 

“Well, I can supply the drinks, and at least a bit of company.” Bismuth winks, and turns to the patron 6 seats up waving her over. 

You check your phone again, and there’s more from Alex. AND Harper? She must still have phone service wherever she’s at.     Alex: what are u fuckin doin that so important that u cant play minecraft with ur best friend

    Harper: yeah, Y/N. the heck. Also alex, get lost, she’s MY best friend bitch

    Alex: u had ur chances but u left us so we’re a duo now. u can go

    Harper: excuse me!? I WILL end you.

    Y/N: Oh my god, chill. I’m just out right now, so I can’t okay? 

    Y/N: And nice of you to join us, Harper.

    Harper: fuck you I miss you okay. And I miss constant wifi :(

    Alex: OUT!? What do you mean OUT. its night. u play games with ME during this time

    Alex: for real what the fuck are you doing

    Harper: yeah, you don’t go out without us. Wtf are you doing?

    Y/N: I’m at a bar!!     Alex: WHAT

    Alex: dont tell me its the one place that just opened

    Alex: Y/N do NOT betray me you TOLD ME you were gonna go with me!!

    Y/N: I was. But I was also bored and you’re both gone, soooo. 

    Alex: wow

    Alex: i cant believe youve done this to me

    Harper: hmmm. ;)

    Harper: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ;)

    Y/N: What.

    Harper: you tryin to find girls again? 

    Harper: like that one time you went to empire city just to peruse the mall?

    Alex: LMAOOOOO

    Y/N: No.

    Alex: LMAOOOO Y/N GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND A GF LOLL

    Y/N: I’m not trying to find a girlfriend you fucks. Christ.

    Y/N: Also Alex, you’re one to talk. You can’t KEEP a girlfriend.

    Alex: ur just mad i have a passionate and intimate relationship w/ my hand

    Y/N: And it will probably stay that way. 

    Y/N: Besides, so far, no one cute here. So it’s a bust.

    Harper: a bust. Lmfao u just outed yourself :)

    Y/N: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

You put your phone down before seeing whatever Alex attempts to reply back with. It sounds like the current boisterous song is coming to a close, and really, most of the people here are clapping along with this guy. It’s fun. And despite the playful ribbing from your shit-talking friends, you’re starting to have a nice time. You finish your drink, and nod over to Bismuth who catches your eye and nods back. You look over onto the stage, the man having cleared the piano, and see Lapis wiping down the piano and seat. Guess he spilled his drink while playing. Lapis, unlike Bismuth, actually dressed up a bit for the job. Her hair was pulled in a cute, small bun, and she was wearing what looks like a tailored tux with no jacket. The vest fit her quite well. She seemed.. happy. Good for her.

No one had taken up the stage again yet, but the place was still lively with chatter. You see someone out of the corner of your eye move towards the stage, but Bismuth comes over again so you tear your gaze away. 

“Another cider? Or do you want something else this time, Y/N? She asks, cleaning a glass with a rag, and moves on to the next one. 

“Ehh, yeah, give me another cider.” You say as you pull out your phone again. Bismuth sets down the drink in front of you.

    Harper: what a goddamn disaster. she got that from me i think

    Alex: no, youre both disasters separately

    Y/N: Fuck you guys. Give me a break.

You hear the piano start to play again, and someone pulling the mic forward. You look up to see pink hair.. And someone kind of familiar. She’s wearing black slacks, a white collared shirt, and suspenders. The shirt is partially open, and you see part of a pink gem showing through on her chest. It looks like she’s got mascara running down her face. 

And then.. she starts to sing. 

It’s lovely. It’s slow and a bit sad, but she seems to be enjoying herself. She’s definitely done this before. Quite a few of the people around quiet down some, so you can hear her pretty clearly. You drink some, and text your friends.

    Y/N: Guys, I lied. There’s a cute gem here who can sing.

    Alex: holy fuk

    Alex: what

    Y/N: She looks kind of familiar though? I can’t quite place it though.

    Harper: dude theres like near 100 gems now in little homeworld lol

    Harper: you’ve probs seen most in passing? :P

    Alex: are you serious Y/N? cant flirt with human women so u turn to aliens? lmfao

    Y/N: Ohhhhh my god. Die.

The gem on stage sings the chorus with gusto - man she’s really getting into this. You’re kind of taken a bit with her performance. It just pulls you. But also.. She really seems familiar now and it’s bothering you.

    Y/N: No I’m serious she seems really familiar and not in that In Passing kind of way.

    Harper: what does she look like?

    Alex: yeah a description would be nice 

    Harper: TAKE A PIC

    Alex: holy shit YES 

    Y/N: I can’t take a pic. She’s too far away, it’ll be blurry.

    Alex: literally just zoom in lord almighty

    Y/N: Okay. Hold on a sec.

You turn on your camera app, and face the stage. Looks like the gem is actually finishing up her song. Perfect, you’ll snap a pic once she stands up. She finishes, and most of the people are clapping for her. You zoom in, and it’s grainy, but decent enough to make out most of her. You snap the pic.

The flash was on.

A couple people turn to look at you, and you try turning away quickly, horrified, and see the gem looking in your direction before walking off into the crowd of people. You cannot imagine a worse scenario. 

    Y/N: FUCK FUCCCCKKKKKK.

    Y/N: (image sent)

    Y/N: I GOT YOUR FUCKING PIC BUT THE FLASH IS ON.

    Y/N: I’M PRETTY SURE SHE SAW THAT IT WAS ME THAT TOOK THE PIC.

With shaking hands, you take another sip of your drink and wait for a reply. Why is life like this.

    Harper: uh.

    Harper: ummm.

    Alex: wait

    Alex: one fucking second

    Y/N: WHY ARE NONE OF YOU CARING ABOUT MY PLIGHT. 

    Y/N: I’M TRYING NOT TO COMBUST ON THE SPOT HERE.

    Alex: shut up for one second

    Alex: harper isnt that

    Harper: uhh. yeah i think so.

    Y/N: WHAT!? WHO IS IT. WHY DOES THAT MATTER AT THIS POINT.

    Alex: lmao i cant believe i have to tell u this

    Alex: bitch do u remember that shit that happened last summer

    Alex: where half the town almost died from that gem shit

    Alex: that’s her     Alex: that’s the bitch who almost killed like, the entire planet

    Harper: you know that night your dad almost died??

As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now. 

[brimmsedge]

Dream: Home Again

The dream starts, I’m on some Transformer planet. Everything is a machine with small parts. The floors and walls have unnecessary amounts of pipes and fans. (This part isn’t really important it’s just the intro.) I’m walking around. I’m finding cities, sky scrapers, parks etc. I walk through a park a find human kids playing on it. I guess it’s just the future where we can tell the environment to change to a specific item? This wasn’t explained. No one really seemed to notice me. I go to McDonald's and order some fries. Except they’re small fry engines? I don’t know. But this is where it gets interesting. Violet walks by and takes a fry. We meet eyes and she grins, breaking into a smile. Violet! I say. We talk and hug. She comes back to me, without me having to even ask. But I’m still shy at first. I test my limits. I touch her back with my hand. No reaction.  I begin to rub her back. Slowly move my fingertips across her skin. She looks at me with the same look as before. Pure, happiness. It’s a second too short, she closes her eyes. I pull my hand to her cheek. She opens her eyes. Somehow they’re already looking into mine. Beautiful, calm, and serene. She’s trying so hard to trust me. I move my other hand to her other cheek, and hold her face in my hands. She closes her eyes again and pushes her face into my hands embracing me. Gently brushing her face into my fingers. We hug and our embrace meets a lustful surprise. We didn’t finish taking off our clothes. Her black bra unclipped but still lingering around her arms swaying with each trust. Her moans were raspy but powerful. But as quick as it came, our clothes torn animalistic nature is returned to harmony. We both enjoyed each other briefly but understood we should wait. Our heavy panting breathes synchronized. She cracks a joke and leaves the bed. As we were rolling around every time the camera panned, the walls and environment changed. Now we’re back in our house we had. After this moment of weakness she returns to her cautious self. Still loving me and acting normal but when she thinks I’m not looking I can see a small panic or nervous concern. She tries making food but I have all the ingredients moved. So I take over and tell her to get dressed. Moments pass and the house is unusually quiet for the two of us. I look around and she’s nowhere to be found. I find her in the garage in my car. Still only wearing my shirt. I carry her back inside and she starts giggling again. God her smile is perfect. I missed it so much. I rest my head on top of her head. I hear something? I pull away. It’s gone. I lay my head back down. There it is again. It sounds like a phone ringing. I pull away and ask her what that is. She denies it and lies. I feel my heart break a little. I knew she was hiding something. I lay my head back down and hear someone pick up the ringing line. But I pull away before I hear them speak. I reach to her ear and find a small black hearing aid type Bluetooth device wrapped around it. My face drops my smile and I feel betrayed. She grins and almost laughs. I get up and leave the house. But no matter where I turn I end up facing the house again. There’s a black truck in the driveway. Who is this? Her bf? Onyx? I open the front door and prepare for the storm. Closing my eyes, I push forward. The door opens and an older lady greets me. She’s got wrinkles but is unmistakably Violet’s grandmother. Spitting image. If this is what she looks like old, I’ll be the luckiest man alive. She’s gorgeous. Her grandma is carrying boxes, but not out – she’s moving them in! She’s bringing Violet’s stuff back?? Was this a test? Did I pass some test and now she’s ready to move back in. It’s boxes of toiletries, blankets, and clothes. Violet comes downstairs after what I’d assume was ruffling through her things. Her grandma says. G: Okay. That’s everything, you all good sweetie? Are things okay? V: Yup, thanks Gma! – She smiles and squints her eyes a little. But I don’t believe this. Me: Are things? Okay? Violet? Her grandma called her by her real name. So when I called her, her long lost name she almost took a step back. Her smile didn’t fade but her face wore shock. She catches herself, smiles and repeats. “I’m fine” After her grandma leaves we sit in the kitchen in silent. Both standing like statues. My eyes still in disbelief. I stand close to her and check the time on the stove. 6:33 am. I’m gonna be late for work, but this is worth it. I hold her hands in mine and stare into her eyes again. This time she’s not wearing a mask. She’s not smiling excessively. She’s serious. Me: Violet I love you. You know that right? V: I know. – She smiles. Me: Wait, the car thing. You were out making a call weren’t you? V: Yeah. How’d you know I was out there? Me: I didn’t. I was just looking around the house and got scared when I couldn’t find you. V: Why were you scared? I long feared this conversation. Feared that she’d get mad at me. Yell at me. Or not care what I had to say. But we were already there. There’s no more preparing. Four years leading to this. Time to let out everything. No more hiding. Me: I was scared to lose you again. – I feel the wet tears creeping from the corners of my eyes. Her face finally shows something real. She understands. Before she was happy but waiting for me to trip up. Get mad. But that’s not me anymore. She was guarding herself from getting hurt. She didn’t trust me. Now she understands. I still love her. She’s seeing for the first time in years, not with her eyes but her heart. She slowly starts to cry too. She reaches around me for a hug but I can’t stand. Or maybe I feel the need to kneel. I get beneath her. I cower. No sense of pride or respect. The only thing I feel is guilt and sorrow. She stands with my head pressed into her gut. Her arms wrapped around me. Her fingers occasionally twirl the ends of my hair. Her whole shirt is soaked because I’m not crying – I’m sobbing excessively. I missed her so much. We finally get to embrace again and I can’t take it.

Me: Please, Violet please. I love you so much. You understand now right She nods and cries harder. She understands but I still need to admit, confess, and explain further the depths of my heart. I slowly catch my breath from the ocean waves crashing against my face. My breathing coming in short spirts. I pull away from her wet shirt and look up at her. I feel so helpless. Vulnerable.

Me: You know it wasn’t all that bad right? You know I love you so much? More than anything. I’m shaking. My body convulses. I try not to predict anything anymore. Not her answers, not what will happen. I wait patiently for my fate. I’ve confessed. The almighty judge and executioner will finally give me what I deserve. I say it again in an instant. Me: You know I never meant to hurt you. I just needed to fix me. I couldn’t stand to see you hurt. Please forgive me. V: I know. – She barely manages to speak. Mostly nodding while she’s bawling as well. This time she smiles a little. Her sharp face lightens a little and she pulls me up and we kiss for the first time in years. Yeah the sex was just bodily fluids and stuff. This moment was the real passion. The real sensation I longed for. My heart in hers.

She had short black hair, black eye liner, fine eyebrows. Black rimmed glasses, dark lipstick, her ears were pierced with 3 spikes in each, she had lip piercings too and two black band aids on her neck. I don’t know if that was fashion or not. But her grey light blue eyes staring back at me. I was finally home again.

[spacerockwriting]

I’m feeling much better now, so I’m going to talk about the time I saw Cursed Child. It started over a year ago. When the raffles were being released I entered every single one and when I failed at winning, I, like everyone else went to enter the queue on the main day.

The tickets went on sale while I was at work, and I put everything on hold, stressing myself out for the tickets. I get really anxious when I buy tickets for concerts because most of the time I’m fighting for really good concert seats, and with this, it was no exception. However, as I entered the buying portion, I didn’t know what to do. My first plan was to try and see the show in April, as my best friend and I were already planning a trip to see George Salazar and Joe Iconis’ Two Player Game while we were there. I was very impatient with my desire to see Cursed Child. In fact, I was so impatient to see Cursed Child I was willing to throw sums of money at a person who is no longer in my life, just so they could report to me the story. Desperate, amirite?

After much conversing with my best friend, the decision became clear that we couldn’t go see the show in April. We had a lot going on already for that trip, so the decision became that we would just have to go again! When I got in line to buy tickets, september became the time period I was most easily able to get. At first, the decision was like many, to do both parts in one day. However, my best friend is not a Harry Potter fan like I am. They’re familiar with it, they know the franchise, but the thought of having to spend six hours in a theater is not something they’d personally be interested in. Fair enough, so I got the two day tickets, which I’m glad I did!

So in a hurry, I buy two tickets to the September showing of CC. The queue went so quick, and the ticket buying process is a blur. I had no more than ten minutes to make a decision and I called him shortly after buying them and was like “guess we have to go back to New York in September” which he was obviously fine with.

When I bought the tickets it was too quick to really know where I was sitting and what I had bought. When we got there in April, we went past the building and saw a few of our favourite Marquees for shows, but at the time I wasn’t able to go in the HP shop. We saw George Salazar and met him and Joe Iconis at their concert, went to Irving Plaza for a last minute 5SOS show for their upcoming album, and had a blast.

Weeks before our September trip, my best friend asks if his little brother can come to the trip. I say sure, as long as he can finance his own way. A few days later I am asked if it is okay if he goes to the HP show instead. His little brother is a really big HP fan, so I get it. I have no problem with this. We make plans for the trip and I arrive in NYC late on Wednesday before the show.

The Thursday of the show was exciting! I had started to plan out a head of time all the things I wanted at the shop.We decide that my best friend should go see a show while we’re at our show, so he buys last minute tickets for Book of Mormon, and then later that afternoon we eat lunch at Ellens Stardust Diner. The food is really good, and if you’re into Broadway and musicals, I’d suggest it.

After, we go pick up Will Call tickets and he heads back to the hotel while we get to the venue. I am overly excited. I’m in my Hufflepuff backpack and Hufflepuff shirt (my Cedric one I got at Universal) and we wait and wait. We got there like an hour early, and I highly recommend that. We were close in line, but like fifteen minutes later the line was wrapped around in like a U shape. Going in, one of the people at the door told me that “Lounge is downstairs and to the right.” My friend’s brother looks at me and is like “Comet, what did you do?”

I had just pressed buttons on the ticket site until I received tickets. I didn’t know what I did, or pressed. I just blindly bought tickets. So we went to get merch and big reminder IF YOU ARE IN LOUNGE DO NOT BUY THE SOUVENIR PROGRAM which I didn’t know so I had to return my copy of the program, lol. While in the lounge they have a name list by the entrance and you give them your last name and then we got one free beverage (alcoholic or non) and snacks, and at intermission we had desserts and one free beverage (alcoholic or non). It was a blast. Everyone we sat near was excited and hyped up and people beside us were sharing alcohol with us, and tasting and it was like a party. Everyone was excited.

At the end, the waiters in the lounge told us to come back tomorrow and have a wonderful day. The service was excellent, and they were so nice and respectful about everything. They were happy to take pictures, whatever.

At the end of Part 1, the show just stops. There is no curtain call, there is no cast coming out. Just a screen with To Be Continued... Note: the cast does not meet after part 1. If you want part 2 merch, you can only buy it behind the counter after part 1, or during part 2. You cannot buy it in the regular shop. (it is available online, however.)

On part 2 day, I wore my Malfoy quidditch shirt from Universal and kept my Hufflepuff backpack. A LOT of staff were confused why a hufflepuff was wearing Slytherin and I’m a dork about Scorpius so, theres that. Because we were in The Lounge, as we came to call it, my best friend’s little brother and I got in the “special entrance” on the side of the shop. We supposedly counted as VIP and could enter early.  As soon as we got in line, my best friend bid us farewell and went to see his night of Book of Mormon, and then we entered the venue and Voldemort Day started. All the staff hammed up the event and it just became even more of a party. In between snacking I got more stuff because I’m a nerd and tbh Scorpus’ wand is just as cute as Albus’ and I decided I needed a Voldy shirt too. (I also got two more plush fuzzy owls. One for my bestie, and one for his little brother.) During Intermission we got our free souvenir programs, the plastic cups, and I actually had more alcohol which is rare since I don’t really drink hardly ever because of my extreme reflux.

As soon as curtain call ended I told my friend’s brother we needed to high tail it to stage door because we were going to meet the cast. He had no objections, so we got in line and that queue was amazing. It was just a straight line and not a cluster and it was so calm. Some mum’s near us would pull out their programs and yell down the line who was coming which is very helpful because so many characters are in the show. When we were there, almost all the cast came out except for Jamie, the woman playing Hermione, I don’t think Rose came out, and sadly, Sam was not out. I did get to meet Antho, which I was really excited about.  Lol, I went to show him my shirt and he was like do you want me to sign it?? and I misheard and was like “Oh, no! I was showing you!” and oops. But no hard feelings. The gentleman playing Dumbledore was VERY talkative and had conversations with pretty much every person in line. My best friend’s brother is actually a HUGE Marauder’s fan, so he was upset after we realized Myrtle was ALSO Lily and declined the pictures, lol.

When the cast was done, my best friend showed up and we all went back to the hotel and saw the goodies he got from BOM (my favourite musical btw)

We found out a few days later that Jo was at the Sunday performance of the Cursed Child, and Monday the cast of Fantastic Beasts were on GMA which we were SO upset we missed. I would’ve high keyed out in the middle of Times Square at 3AM for a glimpse of Ezra Miller, lol.

Some tips if you’re seeing Cursed Child:

Arrive Early! This gives you PLENTY of time to look around the theater and buy merch & food. Trust me, the theater is WORTH exploring.

There is NO HP food there. I saw A LOT of people ask where the gummy slugs/chocolate frogs/butterbeer was. They can’t sell those there, as Universal owns the rights to those items. That being said, Cursed Child, Fantastic Beasts, and HP are 3 separate franchises, so you won’t find them intermixing.

You CAN bring food into the theater!! Drinks too!

If you have Lounge Access, you have your own bathroom. Trust me, that will save you a TON of time.

Part 2 Merch is only available during Part 2 or after Part 1.It is kept behind the counter so you can’t get it during normal shop hours.

There is no curtain call after part 1. House lights come up and thats the end. No cast come out after part 1 either.

Seeing it in 2 days isn’t as bad as one would think. I think I liked it better than I would have seeing it all in one day.

The playbills have recaps of important HP events crucial to the plot. This is helpful for anyone who hasn’t read the books in a long time, or isn’t super familiar with the story. (i.e not me or my best friend’s brother).

I think this is long enough, but if anyone has any questions about seeing the show in NYC I’ll be happy to help!

[huangfilms]

Florist!Renjun

summary: i need cash because it’s summer and my parents don’t give me allowance so i applied for this job and on the first day someone ran into me and now i have coffee all over me and wow you’re pretty cute but i gtg and when i first check in for my shift i see you there,,, with my boss,,, who’s your grandma-- oh im working with you

(A/N) ok kids i am back with another renjun bulleted fic!!!! because i have nothing else to do!!! I honestly don’t know how this is going to go but I hope u like whatever i made, feedback is appreciated! also i suck at summaries so let’s Just Pretend that i have a decent summary up there

i mean I Love Flowers ya know

renjun is a flower himself but u dont know that yet

so it’s summer break and you want to make that ca$h money because ur parents don’t give u allowance during the summer,, that Blows.

okay well you decide to apply for some job in places that interest you

like the cafe around the corner of your family’s apartment complex

or the photography studio, or the arts studio

maybe even the animal shelter because!!! animals!!!

but none of those really caught your attention

sure u liked smelling coffee at like,, 5 am, and u liked taking nice pictures and drawing, and you loved!!! animals!!!

but the thing you loved the most

u guessed it!! flowers!!!

so there was a really cute flower shop that was just across your home

and you applied ofc

step one: done

all u need to do is to w a i t 

but you’ve checked out the place, and its literally the cutest place ever!!! 

you Really Want The Job Now

so you get a cute little envelope in the mail saying that you could start full time in like 2 days!

u get super psyched because it’s your first job

so fast forward two days, and u wake up bright and early because you’re really excited!!! 

when you walk in, you see the cutest old lady just watering the plants 

the door jingles since there’s a bell, and she turns around and just looks at you for like,, 5 seconds

and then she gives you THE MOST PRECIOUS SMILE EVER

so she goes in to tell you what you should do today, and says that her grandson will be working with you for summer as well

and you’re like??? oh 

because you don’t

you’ve never interacted,,

with,,, boys.

you get SHY my dude but it’s all good because he arrives tomorrow from where ever he came from

SO anyway, you water the plants, tend to the customers, and all that jazz

you go home and you start to think about her grandson,, like

what does he look like? is he nice or what??? how old,,, is he???

so you think about ur job and then you have anxiety because wow new people who might be ur age

that doesn’t mix well with you

(unless you’re a social butterfly but a bitch can’t relate)

so you wake up and you’re feeling a little nervous to meet this kid

you leave the house really early because you’re just gonna walk around to the cafe before your shift started

but then on the way, you bump into this Pure Soul

and he spills coffee all over you

and it’s ho t like that boy?? facts

who drinks hot coffee in summer

ANYWAY you jump in shock and let out a yelp from how hot it is, and then you look up about to POP OFF but then u take a look at him

and he’s a mess, he looks so flustered, he’s r e d, and he’s stuttering out apologies

and then he dabs your t-shirt with the s i n g l e napkin that he has, wasn’t going to help but hey, A for Effort

and u gotta admit, it’s kinda cute

but anyway you say that it’s fine, it was an honest mistake, and it was kind of, both of your faults.

so he apologizes once more and then offers up his light jacket, but then u refuse because your apartment isn’t even that far away.

so you leave hastily before u could get the Cute Boy’s Name

and u literally run to change into like a sweater or something, and then Blast to the flower shop

and u see that boy again with the cute old lady 

and then u connect th e dots

it’s the grandson

oh god

and your heart??? speedy fast, like,,, sonic Wishes

so you say a greeting to his gma, and then u speed walk to check in and then start your shift

idk u felt lowkey embarrassed cause!! cute boy!! u ran!! now hes h ere!!

it isnt until the pot is overflowing to know that youre overthinking a lot, and there’s like,,, a huge puddle,, at your feet,,,

so you almost drop the stupid watering can and then fuck your life over because that boy??

across from u

in the next isle

looking at u

and he

He Smiles That Smile

I think he was trying not to laugh because he puts his hand over his mouth

i mean,,,,, u embarrassed urself once more

big OOF

but anyway you turn ur self to look away from him becaus e You Just Cant look at him

But life goes on,,,

Fast forward like idk, maybe 2 hours??? you get your first break of the day so u tell ur boss that you are just going to get a snack back at that cafe that u didn’t get to go into yet cause of That Boy 

she tells u to be careful and that you could take like 30 minutes to an hour since you were working so hard

i mean, you were just watering plants but ok,, thanks gma

ur getting off topic sis

and then d cute boy decides he’s gonna take his break too

wow life must be Crazy to have you blessed with his presence

So you see him just like jogging to catch up to you and you hear his little ‘Wait!!’

then you feel all giddy inside because he??? wants to go??? with  you???? wha t

anyway you slow your step a little so he can catch up and then he

he puts his hand on your shoulder WOW PHYSICAL CONTACT

and your heart skipped a beat more like all of them

and then he like,,, he kept his hand on your back while you guys were walking

a whole?? gentleman???

you guys didn’t really talk on the way to the cafe but u really wish u did

because u get in there, you order a snacc, and then u guys sit

in awkward

silence

and its so cringeworthy 

is this embarrassment installment number 3?? why must life Play You Like This

when you’re about to Finally say something, your guys’ orders were called up and he offered to get them

so he went with a small smile and left u with your Stupid Thoughts

but he left for like 5 seconds LMAO

so anyway

he comes back, and you both go to talk at the same time--

‘Oh no u should go first’ and then he laughs

wtf that sounded beautiful

but u don’t even remember what you were going to say

yeah, staring at his face is THAT powerful

‘oh um its ok i kinda forgot haha’

and then its awkward again

embarrassment installment number 4???

of course though you guys introduce yourselves

“My name’s Renjun”

so he just smiles and tries small talk, like why u decided to get a job, or if you’re still in school, your hobbies

all the great stuff ya feel

and by the end of the break you guys are getting closer

i mean you guys arent in any awkward silences anymore

you guys are walking back to your shifts and for the rest of the time

its just you guys messing around

like you guys Got Close hm who knew also this is getting long oops

but it’s the end of your shift,,, and then u go to check out and leav e

and it isnt until you get home that you didnt even

get his number

ayo ma can i get yo numba

so youre just in bed.

questioning life

but hey!! you made a new friend!!

life goes the same for the next few weeks or so,,, and you and renjun become Really Really Close

So close that youre actually leaving your house!! Voluntarily!!

and one day you go in to your kitchen

to see flowers on the table

and a card right next to it lol its in your moms hand 

and you just go up to it cause you see your name on the card 

you McSnatch the card away bc your moms all like ‘you have a secret admirer’ and she gives you the Mom Look

so you just Blush and read the stupid card

‘Please come to work, i miss seeing your pretty face.’ and you go !!!! what !!! 

and so you throw on some pants and the closest t-shirt near you

and then you yell that you’re going to work

so you step into the flower shop and there are wa y more flowers than you remember there to be

like theres,,, one spot that has Just Flowers

and you walk up to it and then 

Renjun comes to scare you what a little shit

and then you yelp!! once more!! 

and then he!! hugs !! you!!

but not before he gives you all of these flowers!!!!

and then he!!! says!! he made the arrangement!! just!! for!!! you!!!

so on the inside you are yelling!! wtfkdfjlsdjg

and you are just wondering w hat did you ever do to deserve this precious

and the he!! says!!

‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ and then he just!! smiles so big!

because you say of course!!! 

He is a whole Catch, he’s caring, knows how to joke around, AND he’s cute!!!

okay but boyfriend renjun who is also your co-worker would be so cute! 

because you would be watering the plants, and then you would see some flowers around with small notes tied with ribbons

with the CUTEST messages on them

and you keep every single one of them in a jar on your desk

by now you have 3 jars filled

thanks for making me the Softest Stan Renjun

and so you would always find cute arrangements in you home!!

and his gma would b watching in the back with That Look

she would think ‘i made a good decision’

BECAUSE SHE DID

his gma: god tier

but anyway florist!renjun who is also your bf!! would be so!! cute!! wtf!!

my heart: melting

honestly my heart cannot handle

SO you guys would just b so happy with each other, life is good,,,

and everytime someone asks how you guys got together,,, youwould always say

lol his grandma like u would Not Believe

but you would always say that the flower shop you both work in, has brought you guys together.

Masterlist

[project-runway-rankings]

Season 4 Episode 3 - No Man’s Land

I’m kind of glad they’ve stopped doing menswear challenges, because most of these designers clearly have no idea about men’s clothing, and that’s ok. It’s an entirely different world. I would, however, like a spin off show with only menswear designers, because I want some cool fashion too dammit!

The challenge was to create a look for Tiki Barber to wear on the Today show (maybe GMA idk oops).

13. Carmen

Between the hat, the jacket, the pants, and the shoes, it looks like this man is going golfing in 1937. And she didn’t even make a shirt...the clear choice to go home.

12. Sweet P

I have no words...

11. Ricky

How hard is it to make a collar! About half of the designers this week attempted, and failed, that task. The jacket and pants are way too big for his model.

10. Steven

from the chest down this is actually pretty good, but I can’t get past the collar, the tiny buttons that are too close together, and the awful ascot.

9. Jillian

Once again the wide collar ruins the entire look. The print of the shirt is all wrong for Tiki Barber as well. The shoes also throw me off, this would look so much better with a pair of slick black dress shoes.

8. Chris

Completely inoffensive, a clear ploy to get himself into the middle of the pack.

7. Christian

I like all of the individual pieces, but they don’t match up well. I love the cool collar on the undershirt, but it looks messy against the opening of the jacket. I do like that he tried to add fashion elements, which a lot of designers ran from.

6. Kevin

He took a bunch of random pieces from Kohl’s, threw them together, and something wearable came out, though it isn’t necessarily good. He should not have been in the top.

5. Victorya

Honestly, this may be my favorite look of the episode if it wasn’t for one glaring detail, WHY ARE THE BUTTONS SO LOW. Other than that, I love the white jacket, the pants fit great, and the shirt is a nice backdrop.

4. Elisa

This was way too casual for the challenge, but I could see a ton of men rocking this look, especially in 2007.  And she even lined her vest! Good on ya Elisa!

3. Jack

This should not have won solely for the fact that the sleeves are sooo poorly fitted. I do like that he paired two stripes together and that the pocket and the button strip are on the bias. But those damn sleeves...

2. Kit

This was pretty perfect. It’s still casual, but overall it gives off a fairly formal vibe. The cut of the jacket is just slightly off, and overall it’s just a bit too boring to win.

1. Rami

This jacket is the only upper body piece that looks like it came straight from a store and that is why this is number one.  It’s also just a cool and casual look, yet with a tie I could totally see this on Tiki on the Today show. Rami was robbed!

Judges’ Top 3: Jack, Kit, Kevin

Judges’ Bottom 3: Sweet P, Ricky, Carmen

[blaisein]

ok so here’s the story from a-z so i’ve never vacationed at a lake before?? but apparently the fam was into it idk. so three of my siblings went down to the dock where i was reading (it’s a creepy ass dock scratch that a creepy ass place i have the receipts so does kianna ask her it is on its friday the 13th shit and did i mention i have to sleep alone in one of the cabins tonight? boi bai but anyway) they were all like omg caelyn get in the water with us and i was like probs not but ok. and they are splashing and being gross but highkey i’m too scared bc for some reason the water was giving me anaconda the movie vibes so i wasn’t gonna go in! but they are stinky and calling me out for being scared (i’m the oldest out of who was there but do i care? no it’s scary) and somehow they convinced me to get in. well more like pushed they pushed me in. i was screaming. like i tried to climb back up and these demons would kick my head back down like what !!!! anyway all drama aside i eventually was okay with it and we were like u kno what would be cool? floaties. or whatever those big things are called like tubes and shark floats or wtvr. so we got in we were splashing but lowkey i was waiting for the snakes to come. but anyway so we’re racing and stuff and eventually i was over it so i just got out and my siblings were like omg caelyn get your float as i was like ok but it like .. started to drift away. by then i was too lazy to get it even tho i def could have (ok actually i was once again scared bc i floated towards the creepy hanging boat we have so i said not today) but they started yelling bc it was my fault but meanwhile none of their asses were getting it either if it was such a big deal ??? so i was like i am only getting it if y'all swim with me and they wouldn’t and tbh it’s pathetic lol i’m 4 years older than the oldest one my sisters that were there but whatever. so they are just being mean and i’m too scared and so it starts to get FAR like so far away so i actually start swimming bc imma get my ass beat if i lose it. so i head off, super scared bc i know the snakes were following me. and jet skis and boats and shit are making waves so i’m like fr and the tube is just so gone now but i’m swimming anyway. i mean in a blink of an eye this floatie vanished. then i’m like damn imma drown (the irony bc i used to swim competitively like i’m a swimmer but i did NOT want to do this i wanted to die via drowning instead of snakes ok) but eventually i’m like “HELP OMG HELP” bc i was getting too lazy and then this big boat comes and is like “um u ok fam” and i said “no i’m dying and i lost my floatie” bc by then my man was gone like out of sight idk how it happened. so i can still hear my siblings yelling at me from the shore, the skanks were salty bc they knew they’d get in trouble too. then the people in the boat pick me up but tbh in that moment i felt like if my brother and sisters weren’t there i may have been kidnapped bc i’m paranoid. anyway. so i am getting yelled at by them ugh so annoying so i haul ass up to the house to tell my parents and my grandparents about what happened. i rly didn’t want to but i swear my little siblings were bullying me! lol. my gma is like fr caelyn and my mom was like just go swim for it but ??? pls. so my dad and grandpa are like ok we’re gonna drive to the other end bc he thought he could see it out of the window (this is so dramatic all for a tube!!) like he was out there with binoculars. i felt bad so i was like “ok i’ll stay in my bathing suit so i can dive in this is my duty my responsibility my fault” n everyone rolled their eyes bc they know i’m flaky lol. anyway we get in the car and my grandpa drives us to the house where he thinks he saw it get stuck by a pier. so we walk up to the door (the house is gorgeous it’s aesthetic probs cost a million and bajillion dollars) and knock. no one answers. we see packages out front so we’re like “ok maybe they’re away” so my grandpa sNEAKS AROUND BACK AND STARTS TRESPASSING and i’m like oh no this is death. so i go with him and we run out back and get on their dock which is LIT. i’m talking hammocks, jet skis, couches, chairs, a boat, a bAR LIKE AN ALCOHOL BAR (lowkey i looked for some jameson), and all this crap i was shook. we looked and couldn’t find this stupid ass float thing and then a boat comes thru. it’s the people and the dog that saved my life!! but like … they were getting close and i was sure they were getting ready to dock so i start sweating. this was their house we’re about to get our asses beat. so my grandpa’s charming ass self starts to explain the situation and the lady is like … ok she said okay like maybe 50 times i was fr sweating. perspiration was real. and then like they start actually connecting i was like um what’s happening. they’re talking and he’s being all smooth and the husband was like ok lemme get out on one of our thousand jet skis and see if i can find it. and so my grandpa and the wife are just talking and i’m sitting there with the dog chilling then they’re like “omg we have the same lawyer !! what” like they are BONDING OVER HERE HE GOT HER NUMBER SHE’S LIKE COME OVER FOR A COCKTAIL?!? i was shook like we fr were committing a crime and snooping and btw they like saved my life earlier and def thought i was problematic but here we are. then i start talking w them and they live right next to my university they offered me to chill during the school year like ???? and she said if i ever wanted to VACATION WITH THEM in california i could like wffffff they are freaking millionaires i will take them up on that. anyway so we made bros with these people and they were like ok we’ll text u if we find it (text us wtf is happening guys this is all bc of a floatie and my problematic lazy ass). but i mean we still didn’t find the tube but by then we said whatever let’s just buy a new one (after 2 hours we came to this genius conclusion). so we go back to our cabins and my grandpa is like OMG I SEE IT HOP BACK IN THE CAR and by now i’m 50 shades of done with this but it’s my fault so i hauled ass. so we get in the car and start driving god knows where i’m like wtf but we arrive at ANOTHER HOUSE it’s under construction so my grandpa is like yeah we can def trespass here too and i’m like !! tf ??? but i get out anyway. and #1 i’m like how do you know the floatie is here this is tragic. so we start walking towards the lake but it’s like all woods here i’m fr walking in my bikini and flip flops it’s tragic. so my grandpa is like “ok u stop i don’t want you to get hurt so just stand here” and tbh i didn’t protest bc i’m lazy trash and also i know he wouldn’t let me i could get in trouble lol. so my 72 year old grandfather in his golf shirt and khaki pants starts climbing down to the lake and i see him JUMP OVER A FENCe he is as extra as i am. but yeah so then he disappears and he calls me and he’s like “is the tube black with yellow shit” and i said !!!! that’s it!! so 5 mins later he runs up, sweating and holding the tube i just stood there like “this was the most extra thing they are $5 at the store” but we found it we got it we survived and then we went home and had drinks with the millionaires lol so this was very long but i’m not a good story teller it was so DRAMATIC and i don’t think i hyped up enough the part where i almost died i was going under my fear was crimpling. but lol the end!! this was not worth the wait lol but lemme tell you the millionaires are cool i’m about to go jet ski also hmu if you wanna see pics of my friday the 13 house i'm sleeping in alone i'm shook

[cutieodonoghue]

let’s just be us

summary: based on this post by @bleebug (rockstar!killian and movie star!emma secretly dating, but those pesky fans figure it out...)

word count: ~3500

an: thanks to @swans-and-pirates for being a stellar beta! <3

Emma Swan likes to think she has it all in order.

 Being an A-List celebrity is hard enough as it is, with paparazzi discovering her when she so much decides to go visit Starbucks for ten minutes. But, she has a plan and she has tricks that keep her relatively average.

 Trick number one: private social media accounts.

While she would like to be the kind of person who doesn’t spend her days scrolling through Facebook wondering what her exes look like now, she kind of is. For the most part she spends too much time on Pinterest and Instagram looking for ideas for decorating, fashion, and recipes.

 She gets a private Twitter account one slow Tuesday afternoon while she’s waiting to be taken to set.

 She’s working in Los Angeles for the next few days finishing up this action-adventure blockbuster and while it’s been fun, she cannot wait to get to fly out to New York to visit family and friends for a few weeks before she has to go shoot a television pilot for Netflix.

 Mary Margaret, who has crowned herself the President of Emma’s fan club, monitors everything Emma does like a hawk. Emma practically doesn’t need an agent or manager with Mary Margaret scouring the depths of the internet for every review and comment written about her.

 She only gets the private Twitter account because of one reason: she’s tired of the notifications and the stress of running her public account.

 She follows only a handful of names. It helps keep things clean and she can still scroll blankly through Twitter while not worrying about what people will think if she retweets a dozen pictures of puppies or if she starts tweeting at her favorite bakery about when they’ll have her favorite kinds of muffins again.

 It’s nice. It’s simple. And when she wants to make a public post, she can switch over quite easily.

 Her phone starts vibrating in her hand as she’s scrolling through her newly acquired private Twitter timeline and she rolls her eyes when she sees who’s calling her- his stupid big eyes shining bright blue and his dopey grin spread so wide across her screen.

 Emma slides to answer and pulls the device to her ear. She bites down on her lip as a smile spreads, forming dimples in her cheeks. “I thought you were too busy with Good Morning America for me today.”

 “Did you just follow me on Twitter under the username swangirl?” he immediately asks.

 Emma laughs. She shrugs her shoulders. “I made a private account, okay? I just want to be able to have some normal even though I can’t have that.”

 He hums. “I understand.” For a moment, he’s quiet. “My private account is thatjollyroger if you’d rather-”

 She laughs again and suddenly misses him a lot more than she has in a while. Her heart squeezes tight and she turns to look at her laptop’s desktop image. He’s kissing her cheek while she laughs, both of them sitting together on the small window seat in their New York City apartment.

 It’s her favorite picture. Mostly because Killian hadn’t insisted on taking a dozen to perfect the moment. It just was and they were.

 Killian Jones has been her secret boyfriend since they met on the set of one of his early music videos. It was about five years ago, and back then they weren’t under as much pressure as they are now, with the spotlight on them practically everywhere they turn.

 Back then, she was kind of famous, with a big movie under her belt, and she was starring in his music video as a favor to a friend. Killian was just getting into his big break as well, with his album hitting the Billboard Top 10.

 It’s been five years of growth since then. For both the two of them, and their careers.

 He’s a solo artist and a very popular one at that. Every time she turns on the radio, she hears one of his singles. He’s been traveling the world promoting his latest album, one he’s admitted to her in private was completely inspired by her.

 It makes her smile, her cheeks reddening, because Killian Jones could write about anything but he chose her.

 “I miss you,” Emma admits in a quiet voice. She presses her cheek against her shoulder and listens to his end- it’s awfully loud. She imagines the guys in his band are being rowdy while they wait to go on air.

 “I miss you more,” Killian says. He sighs. “What do you say I come to town on Friday? I do miss Cocoa Bean quite a bit.”

 Emma smiles, glancing over at the puppy curled up on her couch, napping as if she doesn’t get enough sleep.

 “She misses you too. But not as much as we miss Mister Smee.”

 “The scoundrel,” Killian laughs. “He’s been so out of sorts. He misses you and Cocoa too much.”

 Emma bites on her lip. Her stomach twists excitedly at the idea of him coming to town. They have an apartment here that she uses a lot more lately rather than sharing it with him. It’s been awhile since he’s been here.

 “What’s next on the tour?”

 “Ah...” Killian groans in consideration. “A few shows in Florida and then it’s over when we head back up to New York.”

 She smiles. “God, I can’t wait for tour to be over.”

 Her boyfriend laughs. “You should come to Florida with me after I come see you in LA. We could go to Disney World. Do you have anything going on?”

 Emma rolls her eyes. “You know if we went to Disney World together the whole planet would implode or something.”

 Killian practically whines, “But, Swan… think of the fun we’d have!”

 A smile twists at her lips. She considers it- riding rides, eating too much, and buying up all of the Mickey memorabilia they set their sights on. She can only imagine Killian Jones in the middle of it all.

 “You’re right. It would be fun.”

 “Plus you’ve got an in, don’t you? With that film you did last year.”

 She hears a knock at her trailer door and she sits upright, closing her laptop as she rises to her feet. “They want me on set. I gotta go, babe. We can talk about this later.”

 “Yeah, I should be on my way as well.”

 “Okay.”

 For a moment, they share a companionable silence, almost telling each other they wish it could be easier.

 “I love you.”

 “I love you too.”

 ..

 Emma’s second trick of being an A-List celebrity is this: no looking at reviews for stuff she’s done, and no looking into gossip. No matter what.

 She’s usually quite good at this. She stays clear of the drama and lives in a peaceful, blissful bubble with her puppy pictures and chocolate chip cookie recipes.

 However, sometimes the gossip comes to her.

 In this particular instance, she’s sitting up in bed with Killian in their hotel room in Orlando, having just made a post about flying out of LAX earlier that day.

 Her eyes narrow at the comments section and she actually laughs under her breath when she realizes what a lot of people seem to be talking about- she and Killian’s nearly identical posts about flying.

@ekforever: You and @killianjones both flying out of LAX at the same time???

@ahopper: @ekforever just because they’re at the same airport together doesn’t mean they even saw each other. Get a life. Let them live.

@ekforever: @ahopper check my page for the facts. They’re more than just friends.

It’s intriguing enough to draw her attention away from the comments section of her public Instagram and Twitter pages.

She clicks on @ekforever, discovering an Instagram account dedicated to pictures of she and Killian. To her surprise, the page has 312k followers, and an incredible amount of posts. She begins to scroll through, clicking on pictures to find out what they had to say about Killian’s GMA interview.

 One is a video that automatically plays- showing Killian’s ears and cheeks burning bright red when the interviewer asks, “I’d be remiss if I didn’t ask about Emma Swan. You were just on the set of her new film, recording a song with her for the soundtrack, right?”

 “Ah… I, yeah-”

 Their relationship to the public, at least what they’ve tried to paint a picture of, has always been close friends who often work together on small projects.

 They get together sometimes for dinner and take the occasional selfie to sate the Internet’s need to see them together, but that’s really it. Emma keeps her relationship with Killian as silent as she possibly can and Killian does the same.

 But apparently, according to this fan page, they’re failing quite epically at keeping things friendly.

 “What’re you looking at, Swan?” Killian asks, practically addicted to the sound of his own voice, propping his chin up on her shoulder.

 Emma turns slightly and shakes her head. Quickly, she clicks out of the page. “Nothing.”

 Her boyfriend makes a face at her. “I heard the GMA interview.”

 Emma closes her laptop and sets it aside. “I was just… looking at some gossip stuff. People are kind of crazy. Have you ever seen the fan pages?”

 “Of course I have,” Killian gives her an incredulous look. “Perhaps we’re just a little too obvious?”

 Emma shakes her head. “No. We’re not. Normal people wouldn’t notice that I was wearing your shirt two months ago when you were in Europe and I was in LA. Or that you were blushing like an idiot during the GMA interview at the mention of my name.”

 Killian arches his eyebrow. “Did they notice that…?”

 Emma rolls her eyes and kisses him to shut him up. Mostly, so she doesn’t have to think about the ramifications of their small slip-ups and mistakes. It works, both of them smiling into the kiss with Killian’s hand on her cheek.

 At the same time, their dogs decide to jump up onto the bed. She laughs against his lips when she gets a wet nose against her arm.

 “Hey, Smee,” she murmurs, reaching down to scratch beneath his ears. “How are you?”

 Killian takes the other puppy into his arms and kisses her head. “Miss Cocoa Bean, you and your brother are awfully eager to interrupt a good moment, aren’t you?”

 Emma smiles at her boyfriend and rests her cheek against his shoulder. She leaves a kiss to it and breathes him in, a somber feeling falling over her.

 “Do you think…” Emma bites on her lip. “What do you think would happen if we announced we were dating?”

 Killian tucks Cocoa against his stomach and continues to stroke her fur, much to her approval. When they got her, she was a tiny thing, so Killian took to calling her Cocoa Bean, even though Emma just wanted to call her Cocoa. Both are equally adorable.

 Emma leans away from Killian just a little, enough so she can see his contemplative expression.

 He smiles at her, shrugging his shoulder. “I suppose people would know we’re together.”

 It still causes her anxiety. Knowing just how popular they are. She’s afraid of what it’ll do to their relationship- being public.

 “I don’t want to lose you,” Emma admits in a whisper.

 Killian frowns. His hand cups the back of her head and he leaves a kiss to her forehead. “Hey, hey. You won’t ever lose me. I promise you that.”

 Emma sighs. She admires him- the way his hair hangs over his forehead, the laugh lines in his cheeks, the brilliant blue of his eyes. He’s her entire world.

 “I love you,” Emma tells him.

 Killian kisses the spot between her eyes, then gently over her eyes when they fall closed. His lips trace a pattern down her cheeks and then finally, he kisses her lips.

 “Emma Swan, I have loved you since the day I met you,” Killian murmurs. “And I’m not keen on ever letting you go.”

 Emma breathes out of her nose, opening her eyes to look up at him. Smee is curled up in her lap- his dog, while the puppy they’d chosen together is in his lap.

 “That sounds an awful lot like a proposal,” Emma teases, trying to keep from feeling like she could break down crying.

 She sits upright, their shoulders pressed together, while she strokes Smee’s fur.

 “Would you like it to be?”

 Her heart skips a beat and her jaw falls open. “I… no. I want you to propose when you’re ready.”

 Emma swallows. She stares at him and tears well up in her eyes when he twists a ring on his right hand.

 Killian holds the ring between his fingers, admiring it. “Liam gave this to me when I was sixteen.” He smiles a little. “He said it kept him safe and in turn, he hoped it would keep me safe as well.”

 Emma watches as her boyfriend spreads out one of her palms. He settles the ring down in her hand. Her heart races so fast and she has a hard time thinking straight with all of the thoughts whirring through her mind.

 “I want you to have it.” Killian adds. “Because even when I’m not with you… I am.”

 She can only imagine what the fans of theirs will think of this development, if they’ll even notice it, but Emma can’t find it in herself to really care too much.

 She smiles at Killian and kisses him firmly, their noses bumping afterwards.

 “So, like, are we secretly engaged now?” Emma asks, again teasing.

 Killian’s eyebrows dance playfully. “That would be interesting, wouldn’t it?” Emma shoves at him and he laughs heartily before kissing her cheek. “Only if you want to be.”

 Emma glares at him for a moment, but Killian takes it in stride. He takes her hand and squeezes it gently.

 “Let’s just be us, hm?”

 Emma finds peace with the statement. She smiles and nods. “Let’s just be us.”

 ..

 Emma doesn’t have a good excuse to use when she’s recognized in the backstage area of Killian’s show in Miami, sporting a ring hanging from a chain around her neck, so she just laughs and says she’s here to support her friend.

 She’s kind of stupid and high on actually being here to support her guy, so she takes a bunch of pictures with some of the behind the scenes crew and with fans that come for a private meet-and-greet. She ends up being there for the whole thing, engaging with the fans as much as Killian does.

 It’s fun. Getting to be here with him, seeing how he is in his element.

 She’s seen him like this, of course, before. They’ve been together for five years. Five chaotic years, but she’s still been able to come to shows just as much as he’s been able to spend time on set with her.

 She loves him so much.

 The best part of being at the show has to be the way he stares at her from the stage. It’s as if she’s the only one in the crowded room.

 “This one’s for you, darling,” he says, dedicating the sappiest of his love songs to her.

 It’s enough to make her blush. She hides her face in her hands for a moment and then sets her sight on him, her hands clasped together over her heart while she sways and sings along to the song.

 She loves him so much sometimes it hurts to think about it.

 ..

 The hotel room is a bit of a mess when Emma wakes up on the morning they’re going to finally be heading home to New York City.

 Killian had woken up before her a few minutes ago and he’d immediately gone to take a shower.

 She hears the water hitting the shower floor as she runs her fingers through her hair. It’s a disaster, but she doesn’t have a hair tie around her wrist like she usually does. She imagines she’ll find one eventually.

 Emma sits down in front of her laptop at the desk and while she waits for it to boot up, she smiles slightly at the crumpled mess of bed sheets and pillows strewn about.

 Killian’s guitar is sitting against the desk. He’d played for her when they came back to the room last night, because she said she wanted to hear a song. He was more than happy to oblige her.

 Cocoa curls up by Emma’s feet after she dresses herself in her favorite travel outfit- a band shirt and jeans. Emma smiles at the puppy and looks around for Smee, who has decided to sit himself down on the end of the bed behind her.

 Emma’s heart swells happily when she sees she has a few texts from Mary Margaret and David excited to see her later today and she bites down on her lip as she goes into her Instagram.

 She last used it on her private account, so she doesn’t think twice about where she’s posting this.

 It’s a simple post about how excited she is to get to go home to New York City. She decides to post a selfie, because she feels good. She doesn’t really care what’s captured in the image, because Mary Margaret, one of the thirty seven followers she has on this account, won’t care- she’ll just be excited to see Emma so excited.

 Killian comes out of the bathroom, bringing with him the fresh scent of the warm shower he’d taken.

 “Good morning,” she says, looking up at him while she hits post to Twitter as well as Instagram as a force of habit.

 “Good morning, love,” Killian approaches her. He’s only wearing a towel around his hips, secured with a flimsily tucked knot.

 As soon as he kisses her and his hair drips onto her shoulder, she scrunches her nose up at him. “When’s the flight leave?”

 Killian takes his fingers through his hair and sighs as he thinks about it. “We’ve got two hours before we need to be at the airport.”

 Her phone begins vibrating in her palm and she frowns when she sees Regina’s name on the screen. She bites her lip. “I should take it. It’s Regina.”

 Killian nods in understanding.

 “Hey, Regina-”

 “Emma, I thought we were keeping him a secret,” Regina says pointedly.

 Emma frowns, her heart starting to race fast. She walks into the living area of the hotel room while Killian returns to the bathroom.

 “What are you talking about?”

 “The post you just made?” Regina asks. “Emma, you’re basically shouting from the rooftops ‘I’m dating Killian Jones.’”

 Emma’s eyes widen and a sick feeling sinks to the pit of her stomach. “I… what?”

 “Guitar in the lower left hand corner… his dog on the bed,” Regina lists off. “Not to mention you have sex hair.”

 Emma gasps. “I do not!”

 “Listen, I’m just trying to help because this is one thing you’ve been adamant about. Delete the post as soon as you can.”

 Emma pulls her phone away from her face and puts Regina on speaker.

 “I’m looking to see what the damage is…” Emma pulls up her public Instagram page and grimaces at the picture. “I meant to post this on my private page.”

 Regina sighs. “Okay, well, we can fix this if you take it down right now, Emma. The more time you take to delete, the more people who see it.”

 Her heart is practically in her throat and she can hardly breathe, much less think straight.

 Emma spies Killian stepping into the hotel room, not a care in the world. He sits down on the edge of the bed and lifts his guitar into his lap, beginning to pluck a few notes. He grins at Cocoa, who goes to greet him at his feet.

 And it’s enough to make Emma’s heart at ease.

 She steps into the room again, meeting Killian’s eyes and offering him a mirrored grin.

 “Regina, I want to… keep it up,” Emma says into her phone, though she keeps a smile on her face while she stares at Killian. “I’m engaged to Killian Jones.”

 “Emma-”

 She doesn’t hear what else Regina has to say, because she’s focused on the way Killian’s eyes brighten and how he sets his guitar down again before he goes to her and lifts his eyebrows.

 “Engaged?” he asks.

 She lowers her phone after hanging up on Regina. She knows Regina’s already calling her back, desperately confused and needing answers, but Emma doesn’t want to give them.

 Emma sucks in a breath and searches his eyes. She scrunches up her nose at him. “Yeah. If that’s okay with you.”

 Killian wraps his arms around her and laughs, his nose bumping hers. “Darling, it’s more than okay.”

 Emma’s eyes fall closed and she kisses him, adoring the way he gently squeezes her sides before he takes her left hand.

 “We’ll need to get you an engagement ring as soon as possible,” he says. “And, bloody hell, I should tell my manager.”

 Emma laughs happily. She shakes her head. “No, we don’t need to say anything.” She bites her lip. “Let’s just be us.”

 He grins, soft and slow. “Let’s just be us.”

[sey2017-blog]

// August 29 2017

To describe the past week and a half? I would say... bipolar. 

I finally finished my first week of work. I met some really good people. David, the 29 year old artist/white guy, Jinny 22, Henny 23, Stella 23, JiHun 23, Jung Hyun 25 were all my mains this week. I had dinner with a girl named JunMin, which was fun and sometimes I walk to work with Mina when I run into her. People in Korea are really kind in terms of helping you out. Stella treats me like her own sister already and I’ve known her a week and a half. If I spill something on my shirt or have wrinkles on my shirt she would help me straighten it out, she introduced me to people that would be good to network with, put in a good word for me at work so I can work in my desired section, and gave me a lot of advice for work- opportunities that I need to take and how to do better than the other interns that are going to come. I JUST met her and she was bending her back doing things I wouldn’t even have thought to do for my acquaintances. She even showed me the best bathroom in the building to poop (without me even asking). She... is the definition of the real MVP. She also called me randomly and we chatted this weekend til 2AM. Jung Hyun Oppa also lent me his portable charger when I was going to fix my phone, tried to trouble shoot my phone, walks me to the station, gives me directions everywhere, etc. I slept over at Jinny’s house and she let me sleep in her bed alone, shower, and even made me breakfast after knowing me for a week. People are just really kind and feel like family fast in Korea as opposed to America where people need some time to become close. 

They are leaving this week and it will just be me and JiHun left for the interns....  I met SO many people! Last thursday I went to an event where all the interns of all offices gathered and talked to the ambassador. More people than I’d meet in a year in Eugene! I also saw this really handsome man that I saw last month but it turns out he works at the US embassy too. I realized I definitely like the dark hair dark eyes tan skin look. It makes me feel good that I met all these nice people and am excited for the interns that will be coming into our office. I also realized that I had been only hanging with people my own age for a long time, andd now that Im with a lot more people in their 20s, age is more negligible than  at other ages. Like how I can have good convos with the guy that’s 29 even though he’s 8 years older, as opposed to if I was 11 and he was 19. I’m going to take it as a true sign of being an adult. 

Working at an embassy is interesting. There is a lot of exclusivity. I can go into areas other people can’t because I have a badge, and I get to escort guests because they can’t go anywhere without an escort. But also, there are a lot of places I don’t have access too, like the Base. The base is where the american diplomats and their families live. I got to go to a party in the base two nights ago and it was interesting because when I mentioned going in the base, my fam/friends were shook and excited because not just anyone is allowed to go. I don’t know how I feel about this exclusivity thing. People are definitely NOT treated as equals, and I think that kind of bugs me. Also, it bothers me that kids of diplomats can just get jobs and get paid for it in the embassy just because they are the kids of the diplomats, while we are out here working for free. Jinny was complaining to me about having to go to work (she lives 10mins away and has a shuttle that takes her which would make it 4 minutes) and she gets paid and does less work, and I just told her to stop complaining. Also her sister was telling me how she works in the embassy and just naps and nobody notices (and she gets paid for it). Jinny joked about her and i skipping work the next day and the other interns said if Sey does that she will get fired!!! and Jinny said oh... I can’t get fired... cuz the Americans view me as their own kid messing up.... because they are also diplomats like my dad. I understand people come from different backgrounds,  but that just didn’t sit quite well with me and just bugs me. It doesn’t make sense that something that’s supposed to be so professional like diplomacy can be run that unfairly (from my point of view). I’m realizing that maybe it isn’t what I thought it was.

When I went to the intern lunch, I saw grad students that were 23, who had passed the FSO exam and would be going to DC in the fall to start their careers as diplomats. At that young age! I was so impressed. Also, listening to the ambassador’s story of travels, diplomacy, and experiencing different cultures, I realized what an important and meaningful job being a diplomat was and it made me more interested in becoming one. Being around people who have accomplished a lot and are going places makes me set my sights even higher and be excited for my career. 

I’ve also been very discouraged as well. My family got annoyed with me and thought I was being rude cuz i was cranky when I napped and didnt eat dinner, and they were passive aggressive with me for a couple days. They aren’t that interested in what I have to say about work, and always seem to be stuck in their own bubbles, which is fine. One night I didnt want to go home because I was annoyed at my fam and I just sat on the swings outside my apartment and had my alone time. I feel like I have to watch my actions at home and at work and can never truly be myself or have alone time. I havent had time to watch TV or my hobbies and even writing this is such a treat for me. I’ve teared up multiple times because I’m so drained from dealing with family, not having enough alone time, being so tired, and I have to take care of myself. It was fine doing it in eugene but here it’s discouraging because they wanted me to stay in this city instead of moving so they could take care of me and they havent been doing that that well. Sometimes they try. yesterday i treated myself at Daiso, an asian dollar tree and I bought stuff that I like and a cute bulletin board to remind me of people who I can be myself around. I put up messages from nomuna, jessy and brenda from nomuna’s birthday gift last year. It was a friendly reminder. 

My family is going on a vacation without me because i cant get the days off. They didnt even talk to me about it they just said... “can u get 11th off?” and i said hesitantly “uhhh....” and then the other aunt said “whatever she cant it’s whatever” so i think im going to be home alone. I got mad at mom last week cuz she wrote me 10 pages on how I should act around my family. She said dont just do ur dishes, do EVERYONE’s dishes. Dont be picky with food, say this to gma, act like this to this aunt, like that to this aunt, blablabla. I got mad at her because I already feel so uncomfortable living with family here because... they seem to care less about my work or day than even my friends back home. It’s just so weird that they are family but are less family than my friends and that’s just so uncomfortable to me and awkward. I was very open at first sharing my day but i can tell they don’t listen attentively and brush things i say off. they DO have their way of showing love, such as calling me when it’s raining LOL (which is useless like wtf r u gonna do by calling). I just miss being myself, and I miss being heard. 

I went to a party on Sunday and it was SUCH a blast!!! Koreans know how to have a good time. We played TONS of games and I won at most of them. :) I also realized how quiet I was compared to other people and thought to myself, “ i am so awkward in group settings”. 

Last friday, I went to Han river with the childhood friend. it was an AMAZING time. We sat on the grass and ate pizza and joked around and took pictures of the city and walked across the bridge of life / suicide bridge and read the quotes. He is probably the only one I truly 100% feel myself around in Korea, and I really like hanging out with him. 

There are also so many couples here. Couples kissing, couples hugging, couples in couple shirts, couple shoes, couple pants, couple hairstyles.... Too many couples. It makes me feel single and I aint even single. I miss bryan a lot too. I just miss having someone there to experience everything with me and knowing all my problems and asking how my day was in person. After being here, I am even more appreciative that I have someone who I can really truly be myself without having to filter myself. It makes me miss home, but in all honesty, I just miss the people.  

Also, I get fat shamed a lot here. By my gma, by a kid in an elevator, basically by random people like aunts too. And i hear a lot of other crap too sometimes, about my personality, about my habits, but fat shaming is the most prominent. The fact that i can hear that stuff and not give a flying f/laugh about it really has shown me i don’t care about what people say and am really confident in who I am, which I think is something good I realized. I truly believe that if you want to go far, you should not be able to let people’s opinions or judgments deter your belief in who you are.

It took a while to write this. But the point is, I miss my friends, but I’m making new ones, staying busy, having fun, trying to treat myself and love myself once in a while, and even if I can’t be myself most of the time, I really am trying to find some alternatives. These past weeks have been so eventful, so busy, and I am so blessed to meet so many good people and to be learning so much. <3 

[milca-is-l0v3]

A day I will never ever forget 💕

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung bakit ko sya niyaya dun. Sinabi ko pa naman sa kanya na hindi ko siya dadalhin sa ganun although nung huli, desisyon na naming dalawa na pumunta dun. In other words, oo nap)apayag ko siya at naging masaya kami sa desisyon na ginawa namin. Lust? Definitely not. We just love each other so much that we push our desires to the limit. Love wins eh. Hehe sorry in advance baby kung pati ito nilagay ko dito. ✌🏻️😘 I love you Mikmik! 💕PS: In case you get to read this in the future baby, you should have your wildest imagination on. Rated SPG ☺️ It happened a month before 3 yrs of dating. Actually, it wasn't our first time seeing each other naked, and definitely wasn't our first time na alam mo na haha. But it's not what you think. Virgin pa ang baby ko no 😇 (Actually chineck ko yun bi nung nasa bahay niyo tayo just don't ask how hahaha) and yes confirmed, she's still virgin. Though sobrang pabor sakin yun, it wouldn't really matter anyway if she wasn't. I just love the fact that she wants to keep herself pure until marriage and that's a big check for me. So yun nga, punta kami sa D**** L**** sa may Paliparan, Cavite. Layo diba haha! Imagine taga San Pedro, Laguna pa ko around 2 hours byahe ko papunta dun hahaha! Natatakot kasi kami na baka may makakita samin or sa kanya kung sa mga nearby areas lang kami magchecheck-in. Cancelled yung class nila that day pero umalis sya sa kanila na ang paalam nya papasok siya. To get there, nagusap kami na sa may terminal ng GMA kami magkikita then dun kami sakay going to PalIparan. Nauna na ko umalis ng bahay since manggagaling pa ko sa malayo kaya nauna rin ako nakarating sa GMA. Pagdating ko dun pinuntahan ko kaagad yung terminal ng jeep biyaheng Paliparan para pagdating nya may idea na kami kung san sasakay para makakaalis na kami agad. Tapos bigla syang nagtext na nasa meeting place na daw siya (Babaan ng jeep sa GMA). Pagbalik ko dun sa babaan ng jeep, nakasimangot siya sakin sabay tanong na "Bakit ang tagal mo?" Ako naman, "Ha? Kanina pa ko nandito pinuntahan ko lang yung sakayan pa-Paliparan. Tara" Sabay kaming naglakad papunta dun sa sakayan habang magkahawak kamay. Nagtaka ko kung pano siya nakaalis ng bahay ng hindi nakauniform. "Pano ka uuwi nyan? Baka tanungin ka sa inyo kung bakit di ka nakauniform." "May dala ko dito sa bag ko." "Ahh." Puno yung jeep kaya medyo siksikan. Dun ko napansin na clingy siya bigla sakin. Ang sarap sa feeling nung kinikiss kiss nya ko sa pisngi ng paulit ulit tsaka humihiga sya sa balikat ko. Antok pa yata kase 7am pa lang yun eh. Ang sarap lang sa pakiramdam, I felt loved and secured.. At siguro namiss nya ko ng bongga kasi 1 week ata kami di nagkita nun. Nung nakarating kami dun sa inn, medyo hiya hiya pa kami haha first time kasi. 6 hours yung inavail namin then akyat na kami sa room. As soon as we entered the room niyaya ko na agad sya maligo. "Tara baby ligo muna tayo ulit para fresh hehe." Sigurado ko kinakabahan siya (sa pwedeng sunod na mangyari, dalawa lang kami dun at madilim eh haha) halata ko sa mukha nya. Sagot nya lang sa tanong ko, "Ehh biii.." Tapos ayaw nya kong paalisin sa kama para pumuntang CR, kaya kiniss ko na lang siya. At dun na nagsimula ang lahat.. It was quiet all of a sudden, but it wasn't dead silence at all. The blissful sound of our kiss took over she kissed me with more passion than ever. That felt really good, and while we were kissing, dahan-dahan akong humiga which means sya nasa ibabaw ko, kaya sinettle nya yung weight nya between my legs. Her lips tasted like candy. It was soft and sweet and I just couldn't stop kissing her. She was breathing heavily, siguro dahil sa excitement, kaba, at sarap na nararamdaman nya all at once. Hinug ko sya sa bandang hips as we continued kissing at alam ko nang mas intense ang mga susunod na pangyayari. I pressed my body onto her and turned sideways para sya naman yung nasa ilalim at ako naman ang nasa ibabaw. Kinagat nya yung labi ko bigla ng sobrang diin so suddenly, I stopped. With pabebe sounding voice, "Aray ko baby.." Nginitian nya ko bigla, obviously she's really happy sabay sorry sakin. I smiled too then grabbed both of her hands, stretched her arm across the bed and started kissing her on her neck. It was a playful and wet kiss, and for sure she liked it due to the fact that she was moaning lightly all along. Basang basa yung leeg nya ng laway ko at sarap na sarap siya sa bawat halik ko kaya di ko na pinatagaI pa. I undressed her, took her bra off and immediately kissed her on the side of her breasts. Naging mapaglaro ako sa bawat halik, haplos at tikim ko sa katawan niya. Nagskip ako sa nipple nya kahit alam kong yun yung inaantay niya, kase gusto kong magcrave muna syang halikan ko yun, kahit sa loob loob ko gusto ko na rin talagang sipsipin. I left it untouched, focused on kissing and licking her body again mostly around her breasts. With closed eyes I smooched her right breasts wildly while fondling the other one, still, not on her nipples yet then down to her belly while my index finger was in her mouth. She sucked it and played her tongue with it which gave me a tingly feeling that turned me on. 🙊 Back to her breasts, I knew that it is time. Her nipples were already so hard just by looking at it. Ive loved her nipples so much ever since I saw them, thats why I couldnt stop licking them inside my mouth. As we enjoyed the moment, I decided to move my hands down to her pussy and carress it very gently. It was warm, puffed up and soaking wet 💕😍I felt like I already wanna eat it, put my tongue inside it or whatever I wanna do with her wet pussy but I don't wanna mess up the foreplay (cause that's the most important part of the scene for me). Eventually, she then helped me take my clothes off sabay balik ulit sa paghalik sa bandang pusod nya pababa. Dali dali ko na rin siyang hubaran ng damit, wala kong itinira! Her panties smelled really good gusto ko na ngang iuwi eh. Kaso ayaw nya haha! 😹 That moment, I was so hard already, nakahubad pa kami at sarap na sarap sa bawat segundo. So guess what? Yup. I wanted to put mine inside of hers so bad pero may usapan kami na we won't do it until after we're married and I respect that decision of hers. — It won't make me less of a man naman kung di ko man siya magalaw agad eh, right? — Same position, nakahiga siya habang nakadapa ako sa ibabaw nya pero bandang lower part na ng body nya. Her legs were on my shoulders while I was passionately worked my way down... She went crazy over sucking my finger as if it was a lollipop at naramdaman ko yung pag pound ng heart nya dahil sa excitement lalo nung dinidilaan at hinalikan ko na yung side ng pussy nya at yung isa ko pang kamay nakadakma sa suso nya at pinaglalaruan yung nipple nya. One of my hands was on her breast, the finger from the other one was in her mouth habang kinakain ko siya sa baba. Naimagine mo? Good. It took some time before I finally ate her out, kasi nga gusto kong itease sya pero before yon tinakpan ko yung bintana ng shirt ko para lights out kase pakiramdam ko mas gusto nya yun. Pagbalik ko sa kama sininulan ko na siyang dila-dilaan sa basang pussy nya. I gently unfolded the hood of her clit and kissed it very slowly. She must have loved it. — Did you baby? Hehe, kaso di mo na tanda. Anyway.. — I did my best to be able to satisfy her. She was moaning all throughout, sarap na sarap. I felt her pressing herself towards my mouth so binilisan ko ang pagdila, ginalingan ko pa lalo sa pagsipsip at kinain ko siya nang buong buo. Wala kong sinayang sa segundo kahit pagod na ko at hinihingal, ang sarap eh. Ang sarap mo bi.. At sobra din naman ang sayang naramdaman ko dahil naaappreciate niya yung ginagawa ko. Sinipsip ko lahat ng katas na lumalabas sa kanya and all I can say is hahanap hanapin ko yung sweet taste na yon.. Hindi ko alam kung gano katagal ko siyang kinakain sa baba, basta ang alam ko pareho kaming nagenjoy. Hindi ko madescribe yung ligayang naramdaman ko nun at talagang napaka-unforgettable lang. Saglit pa lang I then decided to lie down beside her for a cuddle. Parehas kaming hinihingal, hubo't hubad at nakangiti. I wanted to kiss her, nagbiro sya bigla with a pacute face "Ayoko nyan galing yan sa ano ko eh." Hahaha! Natawa ko bigla. Isip isip ko, oo nga no, tapos medyo basa pa yung lips ko sa laway dahil nga kinain ko kasi sya. 😅 Pero hindi kami nakapagpigil. Nagpunas lang ako ng labi gamit tshirt nya tapos nakipaghalikan na ko ulit. How could resist each other? How could I? Siya ang pinakamagandang nakita ko sa buong buhay ko at mahal na mahal ko siya, more than anything.. At yon, nagkumot siya dahil medyo nailang siya na wala kaming saplot. Nagpahinga kami ng nakahiga habang magkayakap, nakaharap siya sakin at tinitigan nya lang ako. Later on hinawakan nya ko bigla sa ano at dahan dahan niyang tinaas-baba kaya pumwesto ako sa ibabaw nya at tinutok ko sa bibig nya yung akin. Galit na galit, tayong tayo. She stared at it for a sec, held it then put in her mouth. Malaki ba baby? Hehe. Even if it's already her second time na ginawa yun sakin, inosente pa rin siya tho I can't blame her kase alam ko she's a good girl. And that's one of the things I like the most about her, she knows a little about these stuff kaya sabay kaming makakapagexplore every time. Siguro, narealize niya na hindi nya alam kung pano sumubo ng maayos kaya umibabaw nalang ulit sya sakin at naghalikan na naman kami habang nilalamas ko yung boobs nya. Tinapat nya yung left nipple nya sa bibig ko kaya kinain ko. Sinipsip ko hanggang sa umayaw sya. Sobrang wild na namin so I asked her to turn around para makapag-69 position kami but she refused to do it. I asked her, "Ayaw mo bi?" she answered lightly, "Wag muna ngayon bi.." Kaya ang ginawa ko, pinaupo ko nalang sya mukha ko. I ate her out again and it was the best feeling ever. First time namin pareho sa ganung posisyon at masasabi ko na gusto kong ulit ulitin yun. I sucked her clit like a mad man while fondling her breasts at wala syang nagawa kundi ang panoorin akong iconsume ang ang pagkababae niya. Alam kong mamimiss nya yung pakiramdam na yun.. Ang tagal namin sa posisyon na yun haha sarap eh. Tapos nung napagod na ko pinabalik ko na sya sa previous na pwesto namin which is yung nasa ibabaw ko. She started moving upwards and downwards while she was on all fours. Up, down, up, down. Ni-rub nya ng paulit ulit yung pussy nya sakin habang umuungol sya, "ahhh.. uhhh.. agghhh.." It sounded like heaven at lalo akong na-turn on kaya lalong tumigas. That moment hindi na ko makapagpigil, gusto ko na talagang ipasok sa kanya. She suddenly stopped, nilakihan ako ng mata sabay, "Bi..? Napagusapan na natin to.." Pilit ko siyang pinapayag pero ayaw talaga niya. Pwersahan kong sinubukang ipasok yung akin sa kanya pero di talaga sya napayag kaya tinakpan nya yung kanya habang tinatabig yung kamay. I probably scared the hell out of her kaya hindi ko na tinuloy. So ni-rub nya ulit nang ni-rub, ang tagal na namin ginagawa yun napapapikit nalang ako sa sarap and I doubt that she ever wanted to stop until.. Yes, I had an orgasm. — Whatever way ng pag-rub ang ginawa mo baby, t'was just perfect kasabay pa ng pag ungol mo na ang sarap sa tengaaaaa! 👌🏻 Ang galing mo dun baby wala kong masabi! 😘 — Pero pakiramdam ko nabitin ka baby ko.. Sorry po. Ginalingan mo kasi msyado hihi ☺️Then I washed up and pahinga ulit sa bed habang magkayakap kami, hanggang sa nakaidlip ako. Yung moment na yun ang favorite ko sa lahat kase nasatisfy ako, katabi kongg nakahiga ang babaeng mahal na mahal ko, at higit sa lahat, nakaidlip ako. Ang saraaaaap sa pakiramdam!! 😍 Sana maulit baby..💕 Maya maya nagising nako without knowing na nakatulog pala ko. I stared at her beautiful face for a while at tulad ng palaging nangyayari, napapangiti nalang ako sa ganda nya.. Sobrang happy ko na ako ang mahal nya.. Hihi ☺️ I kissed her on the forehead, lips then nipple. Hahaha manyak style 😅 Tahimik lng syang nakatingin sakin kaya tinuloy ko yung paghalik ko sa boobs nya. Kinain ko nang walang patawad hanggang pababa ulit sa ano nya. This time I was wilder, para kong gutom na halimaw kung pano ko siya kinain. Diniliaan ko ng paulit ulit, pinaglaruan ko yung clit nya with my tongue at sinipsip ko ng mabuti. Pinasok ko yung dila ko sa loob at nilaro laro ko then back to her clit while holding the hood to prevent it from hiding her clit again. looked at her while I was doing it, at wala siyang magawa kundi ang manood, umungol sa sarap at kumagat labi habang nakabukaka sa pagmumukha ko. Baby, bakit sobrang sarap mo po? 💖 pero sorry baby ang manyak ko.. grabe ka naman kasi eh.. Ang perfect mo lang wala kong masabi. Iloveyoubaby! ♥️😘 Hanggang sa nangalay na yung panga at dila ko habang sya puro laway yung ano nya. Tumulo na nga pababa sa pwet nya eh papunta sa kama kaya biglang sabi nya, "Ano ba yan kasi eh (😅) grabe maglaway eh!" Natawa na lang kami pareho sabay hablot ng tuwalya at punas sa may bandang pwet nya at kama. Pumatong naman ako sa kanya padapa at nagpahinga habang dinidila dilaan ko yung nipple nya. Ang sarap.. Nakayakap lang siya sakin, pahalik halik sabay ngiti. "I love you Paaaaaaaaau.." with a weak voice. "I love you miiiiiiiik.. Thank you.." Hinihingal pa. Tapos tumabi na ko sa kanya at umalis nako sa ibabaw nya kase medyo nahihirapan sya huminga tapos inilalim ko yung arms ko sa may ulo nya para makapatong siya sakin at mayakap namin ang isa't isa ng maayos. Nagpahinga lang kami saglit then pinahawak ko sa kanya yung akin at nilaro laro nya.. Maya-maya pa pumatong sya ulit sakin ng paupo at ni-rub nya ulit ng ni-rub yung pussy nya sakin back and forth na para syang nangangabayo. Sobrang gusto ko nang ipasok sa kanya pero bawal talaga kaya napapikit nalang ako habang ineenjoy yung nangyayari. Di ko na kayang dumilat. Ang init ng katawan ko, ang saya ng sitwasyon ko at sarap mo pakinggan masarapan baby.. First time kong makaranas ng ganun, ganun ka-intense at ganun kasarap sa buong buhay ko. Habang nakapatong siya sakin sinisipsip ko yung isa nyang suso habang pinipisil pisil ko yung kabila and vice versa. Boom, nilabasan na naman ako.. Sa may bandang tiyan ko pumutok, habang sya walang kamalay-malay kaya bigla ko syang hinawakan ng mahigpit sa bewang at binuhat pahiga sa kama. Sarap na sarap pa rin siya without knowing na nilabasan na ko kaya bigla nalang ako at naghugas sa banyo at iniwan ko siya sa kama. Nagmadali ako dahil somehow natakot ako na baka madikitan sya nung sperm ko sa may ano nya at mabuntis ko pa sya. After ko hugasan yung sarili ko, niyaya ko na siya maligo dahil malapit na rin matapos yung time namin sa room. "Bi tara naaaa. Papaliguan kita." Habang nakangiti kong sinabi yon pinipilit ko syang pumasok sa banyo. Di naman siya nagpahard-to-get at sabay na agad kami naligo. Medyo nailang lang ako kasi ang laki nung bintana sa CR na nakatapat sa emergency staircase nung inn. Kaya kinuha ko yung towel sa kama at pinangtakip ko dun sa bintana. Dun ko nakita ng malinaw yung katawan niya na walang saplot. Kadalasan kasi nakapikit ako tuwing naglalambingan kami o di kaya madilim yung place kase nga mas gusto nya yung lights off. Habang nagbubuhos ako ng tubig sa katawan niya hinawakan ko yung boobs nya at pinisil pisil ko ng konti haha! (di na nagsawa 😂) Tapos sinabon ko na sya mula leeg hanggang paa, pinakapaborito kong part nung sa pwet na ang lamboooot 😍 hahaha! Sinabon ko din yung buong likod nya tapos sa may ano, at muntik na kong di makapagpigil, gusto ko nang ipasok yung daliri ko at gusto ko na siyang kainin dun sa cr kaso parang di appropriate that time kaya tinuloy ko nalang pagpapaligo sa kanya. So happy! Nagbiro pa siya, tinakpan bigla yung katawan niya sabay banat, "Di pa nga tayo kasal eh sabay na tayong naliligo!" HAHAHAHA Laughtrip lang! Ang cute cute pa ng pagkakasabi niya 😂 haaaay.. Then after maligo kinain namin yung longganisa na binaon ko with fried rice hahaha! Nagbaon talaga ko kase walang wala talaga ko eh 😟 Pero happy naman kami kahit ganun lang food namin. Tapos punta kami sa jollibee para makapagpalit siya ng uniform then kain kami ng kwek kwek sa may papuntang sakayan. She was blooming at bawat smile niya patuloy akong kinikilig. Wala nang mas nakakakilig pa kapag nakikita ko yung ngiti nya 😍💖 This day was full of love, happiness, at contentment. Di ako magsasawang pasayahin ka at suportahan ka baby ko maging mabait ka lang po hehe okay na ko. Sana maging masaya ka habangbuhay mik para habangbuhay din akong masaya.. Mahal na mahal kita Claren Milca Legacion Cañada! My one and only...♥️♥️