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fqirysim · 1 year ago

Text

untitled--

genre(s): angst, some fluff at the end, exes to best friends to lovers, highschool au, lowercase intended, lots of pov changes

requested: nope !

pairing(s): yang jungwon x reader, ft. yuna (itzy), and intak (p1h)

word count: 7.2k (my longest fic yet ! )

warning(s): cursing, underage drinking, a tiny bit of infidelity

synopsis: you had been in love with yang jungwon since the day you met him.

note: lowercase is intended, lots of pov changes! (read carefully so you don’t get confused lol). this took me a year to make PLEASE don't judge too harshly i put my heart and soul into this 😭. took me a year to make but could not come up with a title for the life of me, hence why it is called untitled, silly silly me. this was really fun to make though and although it took me a while to make, i'm very proud of it. lmk if you want to be added to my taglist and i will gladly do so !! special thanks to my bestie abby and my bf dean for proofreading love you both <3333

—------

you were certain this was the end of your friendship with jungwon. again. but this time you knew it would be permanent.

he was the boy who lived next door. growing up, you had always admired him from afar. the class president who everyone, including the upperclassmen, seemed to get along with.

you had liked him until freshman year, when you got tired of pining over someone who didn’t seem to hold any interest in you. as comical as it seems, that was around the time that he had started to take an interest in you.

and so he courted you, bringing you your favorite drink, walking you home, even coming over for dinner and hanging out at your house. this helped blossom a friendship that no one saw coming, and it wasn’t long until people started to wonder if you two were an item.

it took two months for jungwon to muster up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend.

you were sure you were over your crush on him, that it was just a silly childhood crush. but as you hung out with him more and more, you couldn’t help but fall for him all over again. of course you said yes, because who wouldn’t say yes to the pretty starry-eyed boy standing before you?

jungwon was a nice boyfriend; going on dates quite often, never fought, and he would buy you flowers without being asked.. maybe the latter was why the whirlwind relationship only lasted five months.

you remember the day so vividly, sitting on the bench at your favorite park; the same park where jungwon had asked you to be his, and here he was, asking you to break up.

it seemed poetic in a kind of way, starting as his, and leaving as no one’s.

“i’m sorry. i’ve just lost romantic feelings,” jungwon stated, staring down at the grass as a breeze of wind came, the blades of grass swaying slightly. “it’s just that we’ve both been so busy with other things, and i guess we kinda just like, drifted apart because of it.”

“yeah, i think so too,” you replied nonchalantly, ignoring the slight sting in your heart.

his head snapped up, your eyes finally meeting his, “wait, actually? you’re not lying?” the sound of relief in his voice made your heart feel like it was being squeezed.

“do you want to get rid of me that bad?” you instead teased with a grin.

“no!” he exclaimed with wide eyes. “i still wanna be friends with you. i might not like you romantically anymore, but i don’t wanna like, lose the friendship we have, you know?”

“yeah,” you replied, “we can still be friends.”

and you two meant it. there were no tears, and no broken hearts (that you would like to admit). it was just a simple case of the right person and the wrong time, and as the years continued, you tried to convince yourself that it was just nothing. that jungwon was not your “right” anything- he was just your best friend, nothing more, nothing less.

you were almost successful. until your last year of high school approached.

you and jungwon kept your word, you stayed friends. always being seen together; walking to class, walking home, studying in the library, eating lunch in the cafeteria.

people still believed you were together, and you always had to correct them, because no you and jungwon were no longer together and no you were not a thing.

they never believed you, though.

there was always a small part of you that wanted to say yes when someone would ask. that you and jungwon were a thing and that he was yours and you were his. but you never did, callingyourself crazy for even thinking of doing so.

you found yourself doing it again as yuna had asked you earlier in the week.

yuna was the new girl this year, having transferred from jyp high. from what you heard, she was nice, smart, and she was gorgeous. you were never one to put yourself down, but you couldn’t say that you didn’t feel insecure standing next to her.

“no, jungwon and i are not dating,” you smiled politely. it was almost like a script at this point. “we’re just good friends.”

“that’s good to hear,” yuna smiled, her eyes sparkling. “i just wanted to ask him out, but i wasn’t going to if you had a thing!”

“oh, you’re thinking of confessing to him?” you questioned. there was that little part of you again. the part that always said no! tell them you’re a thing! tell them to not do it!

“yeah, he’s in a bunch of my classes. he’s super smart and polite and he always knows how to make me laugh. and he has such pretty eyes,” she sighed dreamily as her mouth formed into a lovesick smile.

“well, he has that effect on people,” you grinned.

i would know, you thought.

“i say go for it! he’s not particularly interested in anyone, you have a good chance.”

“you really think so?” she asked, eyes wide.

god, i hope not, you thought. as shitty as it was, you didn’t want jungwon to move on. you felt sick at the thought of him being with someone else.

“why not?” you said instead. “he’ll be at the library after school today studying, i’m supposed to meet him, but i can just tell him something came up.”

“oh my god, you’re the best!” she squealed, engulfing you in a hug. “thank you thank you thank you.”

“you’re welcome,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around her, ignoring the green monster growing within you.

—----

it had been four days since your conversation with yuna. every time you saw him, you waited for him to bring up the date with baited breath- but he hadn’t said anything. not yet at least.

or maybe yuna simply didn’t ask him on a date. that’s what you were secretly hoping, at least.

it seemed hoping wasn’t enough. on the fifth day jungwon approached you from down the hall with those twinkling eyes and a bright smile you love so much, he seemed more energetic than usual with a little hop in his step.

“you’re not gonna believe what happened today!” he exclaimed as he reached you at your locker.

you could believe it. you were the one who hooked yuna up after all. yet you feigned curiosity as you looked at him quizzically, “what is it?”

“yuna asked me on a date! me! of all people! she’s so cool and smart and nice and pretty,” he said with a dreamy look on his face.

you knew that look. the far away gaze as he thought of her. it was one you would never forget. it’s how he used to look at you. that lovesick grin and those twinkling eyes.

it had never bothered you before when jungwon had crushes on other girls, because well, that’s all they were. they never escalated into anything more. looking at his lovestruck expression, realization hit that jungwon wasn’t yours anymore.

you shouldn’t have thought of it that way. you should be happy for him! you should’ve been celebrating with him and cheering him on!

you couldn’t help the bittersweet smile on your face as you replied, “oh, well that’s nice.”

his smile faltered slightly at your expression, concern slowly forming on his face.

“are you okay?” he asked.

“i’m fine, don’t worry,” you said, regaining your composure. “i’m happy for you! and don’t worry about spending less time with me, you’re gonna be a busy guy now! with a girlfriend…”

“okay, she is not my girlfriend. and even if she was, I would never ditch you!”

“yeah whatever you say, loverboy,” you joked, giving him a playful nudge with your shoulder.

“no seriously, y/n,” he replied, softly. “are you okay with yuna and i being a thing? i just don’t want it to be weird because you and i used to be a thing, and i know we’re both over that but i just wanted to make sure-,”

“what, me?” you scoffed, cutting the boy off. “what you and i had wasn’t serious, it was just some dumb high school fling.”

even as you spoke those words, you knew they weren’t true. it was more than just a fling. you loved him and maybe you still did.

silence hung between you, the hallway getting quieter as the remaining students scrambled to their classes, the late bell ringing, leaving you and jungwon in the hallway alone.

he looked hurt at what you said. you immediately wanted to take it back, to say you didn’t mean it and that he was your first love and you didn’t want him going on that date with yuna.

“sorry, i shouldn’t have said that,” you muttered, not being able to meet his eyes and instead turning to close your locker.

“no, you don’t have anything to apologize for,” he replied, as he started to back away, making his way to his class down the hall. “you’re right, it was just a fling, and honestly, it’s so weird to think of us as a couple.”

it was like your world was falling apart around you as he spoke. did you interpret his hurt expression wrong? maybe this all was one-sided. did he not feel his heart breaking like you did? did he not wonder occasionally (or everyday) how his life would be if you were still together? did he not miss what you had?

maybe there really was nothing between you and jungwon but friendship.

“yeah, so weird,” you awkwardly smiled, walking to catch up with him. “but you and i, we’re good, right?”

“yep, no worries,” he grinned back.

“good,” you smiled. “so when’s your date?”

his eyes brightened ever so slightly as you asked. he started to describe his date– how he was going to take her to the beach and have a picnic and play in the sand.

you nodded along, your mind wandering off to when jungwon would take you on beach dates, burying him in the sand, splashing him with water and swimming away before he could splash you back.

you looked over at the boy in question, his starry eyes wide as he talked about his date plans, his smile wide and giddy, his tone as sweet as honey as he talked about her.

you knew you shouldn’t villainize yuna– she was a nice girl, a very nice one. it wasn’t her fault you were still in love with jungwon, and it surely wasn’t her fault that she liked him. it’s not like you could choose who you could fall in love with.

you of all people would know.

so you smiled and nodded along as you walked him to class, listening to him go on and on about his plans. you finally settled with the fact then and there, that jungwon would never be yours again. you had to let go.

—--------

it has been six months since that day. the day that you had decided to give up. yuna and jungwon have been inseparable since then.

he kept to his word though; still studying with you after school, showing up when you needed him, hanging out together. sometimes yuna would tag along, which you didn’t mind. she was fun to be around.

you also didn’t mind being the third wheel when she was around, instead teasing the couple and even offering to take pictures for them. they were a lovely couple and they were seemingly happy– jungwon especially, and that was all that mattered.

the school year was coming to an end, and seeing as it was your senior year, people were throwing parties almost every weekend.

you went every once in a while, had some fun, did some underage drinking, even flirted with a couple of people.

tonight was the party though.

intak was throwing his first party of the year, and everyone knew his parties were legendary.

you sat in the uber with jungwon and yuna, anticipating the night before you. you were excited, to say the least. the last time you went to a party was a month ago, and you were ready to have fun. you even put on your best party outfit for tonight!

you arrived at intak’s house (or more like a mansion), and started to make your way inside until jungwon stopped you.

“wait! before we go in, i think we should go over some basic safety rules!” jungwon exclaimed.

you rolled your eyes with a small laugh as you replied, “only you would go over safety rules at a party.”

“i’m serious, y/n, really bad things could happen,” he shot back with a pointed expression.

“okay wonie, go ahead, we’re all ears,” yuna smiled supportively.

you ignored the slight heart ache at yuna using your old nickname for jungwon- the one you used when you were together.

get it together, y/n you thought. letting go, remember?

you instead smiled and nodded reassuringly at jungwon, who looked over at you to make sure you were paying attention.

he sighed before continuing, “okay, i won’t be doing any drinking so i can babysit you guys all night. if you need to use the bathroom give your drinks to me so i can watch them. and y/n, if you leave the party at any point, for any reason, please let me know first.”

“sir, yes sir,” you muttered.

“now let’s go have some fun!” yuna exclaimed, dragging the both of you by the wrists.

you finally entered the house, where there seemed to be everyone from your school. even kids who graduated last year were in attendance, and as you searched the party for a familiar face that wasn’t jungwon or yuna, intak strolled over, a wide smile on his face.

“you guys made it!” he shouted over the loud thumping of the music. he was wearing a letterman jacket with a white shirt underneath, and a pair of baggy straight legged jeans. the outfit looked so good on him that you had almost forgotten that you were talking to intak of all people.

“you look nice, y/n,” he grinned.

you would’ve had a crush on him if he didn’t flirt with every girl he laid eyes on, and it seemed like his victim of the night was you. but damn did he look good right now.

intak wasn’t a bad guy, he seemed harmless, not like the guys who wouldn’t take no for an answer. he just always flirted, with no intentions of making anything serious. most of the girls he talked to never knew the latter though.

but you thought it couldn’t hurt, you were here to have fun, and if flirting with intak was the way to do it, then so be it.

you saw jungwon step forward, about to tell intak to back off and go flirt with someone else, causing you to put your hand on his arm to stop him.

you also noticed how yuna examined the scene in front of her; jungwon trying to be your knight in shining armor, and you with your hand on his arm to stop him. her eyes narrowed slightly in thought as you dropped your hand and turned to intak.

“why don’t you get me a drink and then we can talk?” you smiled dazzlingly. you usually reserved smiles like that for when you wanted to flirt and get wasted, and just as usual, it worked like a charm.

“i’ll be right back then,” intak smiled, before making his way through the crowd of bodies in search of a drink for you.

“really, y/n, intak out of all people?” jungwon questioned, arms crossed.

“yeah, and what about it?” you replied, feeling slightly annoyed at his tone of voice. he had never acted this way towards you before, but you didn’t like it. it wasn’t his business who you flirted with. he talked to you like you were an idiot and you hated the thought of him looking down on you.

yuna awkwardly stood between the two of you, not wanting to be in the middle of your fight, but not wanting to go off by herself at a party filled with people she barely knew.

“‘what about it?’” jungwon mocked your voice in a high pitched tone. “you know how he is, don’t be dumb.”

“dumb? i’m here to have fun, jungwon, not to play third wheel again,” you snapped back. “and why does it matter, you’re not my boyfriend, and you’re not my brother, so it’s really none of your fucking business.”

yuna had been looking back and forth between you and jungwon, watching as you glared at each other, waiting for someone to say something. it was like watching a tennis match.

at that moment, intak arrived, back with a red solo cup in hand.

“a drink for the prettiest girl here,” he announced, handing the cup over to you.

“why thank you love,” you replied with an innocent smile as you looked over at jungwon, still glaring at you, his arms crossed against his chest.

ignoring him, you took a sip of the drink you were given, your face scrunching up at the bitter taste.

“hey intak, why don’t we go dance?” you asked, reaching for his hand.

“that sounds like fun,” he replied with a smile of his own before you led him to the dance floor, leaving an enraged jungwon, and a slightly annoyed yuna behind you.

—-----

yuna had seen the way jungwon looked at you. she might have been a bit oblivious at first, but as time went on and she spent more time with the two of you, it became more and more apparent– jungwon had never gotten over you.

at first yuna thought she could sway him, to get him to fall for her the way he fell for you. but it never worked. he looked at you like you were his own personal angel. no matter where you were, who you were with, how you looked, he was absolutely enraptured by you, and oh, how yuna wished he looked at her like that.

it had been fifty minutes since your small tussle, and yuna and jungwon sat outside, occupying two pool chairs as he angrily took sips of his water.

“it’s like she doesn’t even care, she just ran off with him knowing he’ll never want anything serious, knowing he’s gonna lead her on, and i swear when she comes crying to me, i’m gonna tell her ‘i told you’ right to her stupid dumb face,” he rambled, placing his bottle of water harder on the table than he intended to, spilling droplets in the process.

“well, she’s young and single, and she just wants to have fun baby, there’s nothing wrong with that,” yuna replied. “and she has a point, you’re not her brother or anything, so why do you care so much?”

jungwon looked up at yuna, not being able to ignore the bitter tone in her voice, “wait, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“i’m not on anyone’s side, i’m just asking as your girlfriend why you care so much. because honestly, if i didn’t know any better, i would think that you were still in love with her,” yuna sighed, exasperated.

“i am not in love with her, i like you!” he exclaimed, way faster than he should have.

yuna wanted to believe him. she wanted to ignore every bit of doubt in her body and believe every lie he fed to her, but she couldn’t. not when she knew you loved him too. it was heartbreaking, really. to watch the person you love pine over someone else. but it was even worse knowing the feelings were reciprocated.

“don’t lie to me, jungwon,” she deadpanned, feeling her eyes start to water with tears of frustration. “i see the way you look at her, and i know for sure you haven’t gotten over her. you have never once looked at me the way you look at her, and if you like her, just say that. just say that and we can end things here, without having to make this any more heartbreaking than it already is.”

yuna didn’t want to cry. the last thing she wanted to do was cry, but the feelings of anger and embarrassment had overwhelmed her, causing a few traitorous tears to spill. she was angry at herself for letting it get this far, for falling in love with a boy that she knew would never love her back.

but she was also embarrassed. embarrassed that she had even tried to make an effort, that she had thought she could win him over.

she wiped her face with the back of her hand, only for more to spill out, a sob fighting for an escape from her quivering lips.

jungwon raised his hand to wipe the tears away for her, to cup her face and tell her everything would be okay and that he was sorry. but what was he sorry for? sorry for trying to keep you away from intak? or sorry that maybe yuna was right and he did still love you?

just as he opened his mouth to speak, you stumbled out, words slurring and barely able to walk as you stumbled your way over to them.

“hey guys!” you exclaimed, as a worried intak came rushing out the house behind you.

“oh god, y/n, are you okay?” jungwon asked, immediately walking over to your side to support your stumbling figure. yuna would have felt bitter over jungwon rushing to your side faster than he had ever run to hers. yet, despite the devil on her shoulder that told her to be petty, she instead felt worried for you. you could barely even stand up straight.

“what the fuck did you do to her?” jungwon asked, throwing an accusatory look at intak.

“nothing dude, i promise! she was the one who wanted to drink, she had like 5 drinks within the span of like, 10 minutes,” intak replied, panicked. “is she going to be okay? does she have a way to get home safely?”

jungwon looked from yuna to you, who was falling asleep just standing there.

“just take her home,” yuna sighed. “i’m not gonna make you choose because we all know who you’d choose every single time.”

“yuna it’s not like that,” jungwon groaned. “listen, i’ll bring her home, and then i’ll come over tomorrow and we can talk this out, okay? i promise.”

“okay, just get her home safe first,” yuna replied.

you might have been the biggest obstacle in her relationship, but you were still a nice girl, and you had technically done nothing wrong, so yuna had no reason to want to keep you and jungwon apart. you were also wasted as fuck and there was no way you would be able to get home by yourself without something horrible potentially happen to you.

jungwon grabbed his almost full water bottle from the table he was sitting at, muttering that he would “need it to sober you up”.

he gave yuna one last reassuring smile before he walked away, you on his back as he tried his best to carry you home.

yuna sighed as she watched you go. she felt like something bad would happen today, something worse than her argument with jungwon, and she wanted nothing else but to go home and cry.

all she could do was trust jungwon, even if she knew she already lost him, even if she knew she was never a contestant in the first place.

—------

jungwon almost did it.

he almost carried you all the way home, but his legs felt like they were gonna give out once he reached the park near your house, and he decided then and there that he needed a break.

he sat you on the playground set, sitting beside you with a huff.

you were awake by this point, taking long sips of the water bottle jungwon had given you. you wanted to sober up by the time you got home, but it wasn’t really working, with your words still slurring slightly and your mind all dizzy.

the two of you sat in silence as you gazed at the stars and jungwon thought of his argument with yuna.

maybe she was right.

even now, as he glanced over at you, studying the stars, his heart skipped a beat and he felt his face warm up.

“do you remember when you asked me to be your girlfriend in this park?” you chuckled. “we were so young then, it feels like forever ago.”

jungwon was thrown off by the sudden conversation starter, but still smiled, “yeah, i remember it very well. i felt like i was gonna throw up because i was so nervous.”

you turned your head to look at him and giggled as his smile grew wider.

“what, what are you laughing at?”

“nothing, i was just so in love with you then. i used to think that we would be together forever and ride off into the sunset in a carriage.”

jungwon inspected you as you talked, trying to decipher if there was any meaning behind your words or if it was just the liquor talking.

“i just thought we were some high school fling?” he half-joked as he nudged you with his shoulder. he didn’t want it to seem like he was serious if you were sobering up.

he felt his heart start to race as he stared at your slightly flushed face from the drinks you had, your hair fluttering as a soft breeze blew by. you were everything that jungwon had ever wanted, and here you were, telling him how much you used to love him.

wait, no, what the hell am i doing? jungwon thought to himself. it wasn’t fair to yuna. it was already unfair to her that he only started to date her to get over you. he thought that if he dated her long enough, he would stop loving you and love her instead.

and he genuinely thought it worked. fuck, he thought. i’m such a shitty person.

until he saw you with intak, flirting, dancing with him, laughing at his jokes, he had never felt so jealous in his life, and yuna had noticed. and she was upset, which was fair. what wasn’t fair was jungwon using her to get over you.

use. he hated the icky feeling that word gave him.

“i lied,” you muttered, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“what did you say?” jungwon asked, making sure that he had heard you right.

“i lied,” you repeated, eyes on everything but him. “i loved you, and i think i still do.”

your eyes finally met his as you continued, “you are everything to me, jungwon. i’ve been in love with you since forever, and i only agreed to break up because you said you wanted to.”

jungwon could feel his heart starting to beat faster as he searched your eyes for any hesitation, any sign that this was a lie, or some sort of joke. his heart beat so fast he felt like he was gonna explode as he looked into your eyes, so earnest and so genuine and so filled with love that he knew you had sobered up.

you reached for his hands in his lap, interlacing your fingers with his.

“i can’t keep this from you,” you breathed. “i love you, yang jungwon, and i know you’re dating yuna, but i just have to tell you that i love you, that i always have and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. i don’t expect you to leave her for me or anything, but i can’t help it anymore. i love you, i love you, i love you.”

silence hung over the two of you as he tried to form a coherent sentence after your confession. it felt like suddenly his brain didn’t know how to make him talk, to make him say i love you too, or to make him do anything, really.

a minute passed, and then two as jungwon searched your eyes with the same desperation yours had– desperate to love and to be loved by the person sitting in front of you.

jungwon didn’t know who leaned closer first. he thought it was you but maybe it was him. he didn’t even feel like he was in control of his body as he leaned closer and closer, his hand moving to hold your face, searching your face for any hesitation, for any kind of doubt.

you were so close that he could smell the perfume you sprayed before you left your house and the drinks that you had earlier that night.

impatient, jungwon finally closed the gap between the two of you, your soft lips colliding with his. he could have kissed you forever, wanting to stay forever in time there. until realization hit him.

yuna.

he pulled away abruptly, your eyes still closed as you chased his lips with yours. he would have found it cute if he weren’t trying his best not to panic right now. he just kissed you. while he was still dating yuna.

he thought of the look on yuna’s face if she found out– the angry, hurt expression that she had at the party, and even worse, the tears. he would break the poor girl’s heart.

“i should go,” jungwon breathed, quickly standing up from his seat beside you. “it’s almost past my curfew.”

“wait, jungwon,” you said, grabbing onto the sleeve of his shirt before he could walk away. “i think we should talk about this before you go.”

“yeah, we can talk later,” he replied dismissively. “i just need some time to think.”

you opened your mouth to say something else– anything else to make him stay, but closed it as you saw he was already speed-walking in the direction of his house.

you thought that you would lose him forever after your breakup. you had almost lost jungwon once, and you were nearly positive that you won’t be so lucky to keep him this time.

you felt sick to your stomach, and you didn’t know if it was from the drinks or from the events that had just occurred, but nonetheless you felt nauseous.

you hunched over as you started to gag, your vomit flowing out of your mouth, tears streaming down your face.

you wiped your mouth with your sleeve, rinsing your mouth out with water as you started to tear up.

before you knew it, you felt sobs rising, your nose stuffed from crying, your throat getting dry from the sobbing. the embarrassment and sorrow was finally catching up to you– all of the years of repressed love you felt for jungwon, all of the embarrassment from him leaving after you confessed, embarrassment from being a homewrecker– it all came crashing down on you.

you couldn’t go home like this. you were sober enough to know that, with your tear streaked face, ruined makeup, and vomit smelling breath your parents would put two and two together.

your hands shakily reached for your phone in your back pocket, dialing your brother’s number and waiting for him to pick up with baited breath. your brother was your only hope.

“hello?”

“chan?” you breathed into the phone. “i need to sleepover at your place.”

—----

yuna hated this.

the waiting, the feeling of dread as she sat on her bed, awaiting jungwon’s arrival.

the fight that had ensued was horrible, but she believed she made a valid point. if he likes y/n so much he should just go be with her, she thought bitterly.

jungwon had texted her last night at around 1 in the morning, just to make sure she got home safe. yuna didn’t respond. she instead left him on read, still pissed off from the fight.

she used to get butterflies when he would send her texts to make sure she got home safe. but now she didn’t know if he did it because he liked her or if it was just out of common courtesy.

yuna was about to just walk to his house herself before she heard a knock on her door.

“hey it’s uh, me,” she heard jungwon’s muffled voice through the door. “is it okay if i come in?”

“yeah, let’s get this over with.”

she couldn’t meet his eyes as he walked in, striding over to the corner of her bed. yuna hated waiting, but she now felt dread as the pair sat in silence for a bit, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. she had sat nowhere near him.

usually she’d be cuddled into his side, but she instead opted to sit at the head of her bed, seemingly as far away from him as possible. she was worried that if she was too close to him, she’d crack; she’d look at his doe eyes and forgive him and that would ruin the entire point of her argument.

“so,” she cleared her throat, interrupting the silence. “did y/n get home safe?”

“yeah, she’s at her brother’s apartment. he texted me when she got there.”

“‘when she got there?’ did you not walk her there?”

“no, he picked her up from the park near our houses. but anyways, i have something important to tell you.”

yuna felt even more dread seeping into her as he finished his sentence. she should’ve seen this coming from the start. here it comes: the breakup.

“i kissed y/n last night.”

yuna’s eyes widened in surprise. she had expected the breakup, yes. she knew jungwon was emotionally cheating, but now he was physically cheating?

“wait, are you being serious right now?” she laughed in astonishment. she couldn’t believe the audacity of the man sitting in front of her.

“i know it’s bad. i feel horrible, because an amazing woman like you should never be treated as horrible as i’ve treated you, and i am so so sorry,” jungwon started, tearing up from how bad he felt. “all of the apologies in the world could never make up for how i’ve treated you. i’ve made you feel terrible and i’m just making it worse by breaking up with you to be with her.”

“i love y/n, yuna. and i’m sorry that i didn’t tell you, or that you had to find out for yourself before i even knew. you are so so perfect yuna-,”

“but i’m just not perfect for you?” she replied, tears starting to form as she breathed those words.

the silence that followed was more than enough to answer her question.

she hated this. she hated this so so much. but she didn’t hate you, or jungwon. she just hated how love worked, how she had to fall in love with the one boy who couldn’t love her back. she hated that she gave her heart away to a boy that was never going to belong to her– not fully.

she wanted to scream, to throw something, hell, maybe even hit him. she instead took a deep breath, composing herself before she said, “okay. go be with her then.”

jungwon looked over at her, wanting nothing but to comfort yuna. he may not be in love with her, but he did love her, and he still cared for her.

“i’m sorry, yuna,” jungwon said instead. “you’re an amazing girl, but you should never be anyone’s second choice, and i’m sorry for making you feel like mine.”

yuna couldn’t even look at him, fidgeting with the strings of the hoodie she wore.

“just leave, please,” she muttered.

she didn’t want him to see her cry, he had already broken her once, she didn’t want him to see her fall apart again.

with a guilty expression, jungwon hurried away, also not wanting to see her cry again. he felt gross. he felt disgusted with himself for treating her that way. he didn’t like the person he was with yuna, and he felt sick thinking about how heartbroken she was; how she was so hurt that she couldn’t even look at him.

—------

it has been two weeks since your kiss with jungwon, and you hadn’t heard a word from him since. not a single call or text, hell, he didn’t even acknowledge your existence when you walked by him in the halls.

you had seen yuna around, but seeing as jungwon wasn’t joined at her hip like he used to be, you assumed that things didn’t end quite so well between the two. knowing that you were the cause made you want to never show your face ever again, especially because of the dirty looks yuna’s friends have been giving you.

you were relieved it was the last day of the school year; you’d never have to see yuna again and feel the guilt at seeing the sadness in her eyes.

you walked into the bathroom, wanting to wash your hands after eating your lunch, when you saw yuna, touching up on her makeup in the mirror. she looked at you through the mirror above the sink, before going back to her makeup.

the tension was so thick you didn’t know if you should just leave or hide in a bathroom stall until she left.

“i’m not gonna bite, you know,” yuna chuckled.

you smiled back nervously as you started to make your way to the sink.

“yuna i’m really sorry,” you sighed, mustering whatever courage and dignity you had left.

“it’s okay,” yuna replied, finally meeting your gaze. “although it was wrong for you guys to have kissed, i saw the breakup coming from miles away. he was never mine to begin with.”

you were taken aback just by how calm she was, with the way she spoke those words with such elegance and grace. she had every right to be angry with you, to yell at you and call you a homewrecker.

“even if you did think you were going to break up, that still doesn’t excuse what i did, and i really am sorry,” you said, trying to project every feeling of sympathy and sincerity you could in that one sentence. “i’m not asking you to forgive me, or jungwon, but i just wanted to tell you that you really are a cool person, and you’ve always been so kind to me, even now. all of this for a boy, and he hasn’t even talked to me in the past two weeks.”

“wait, he hasn’t reached out to you at all?” yuna asked, confused. “i thought he would say something to you at least.”

“did he say he would?” you replied, confusion reaching you as well.

“no,” yuna replied, fixing her hair in the mirror. “i just assumed so because he’s in love with you.”

once again, you were stunned by her nonchalance. “he’s not in love with me.”

“don’t be silly,” yuna smiled softly. “i can’t tell if dating jungwon was the best or worst six months of my life, to be honest.”

“don’t get me wrong, he was a good boyfriend,” yuna backtracked quickly after seeing the guilt on your face. “he did the usual boyfriend stuff, and he really did try, but i could just always tell that his heart was always yours.”

you couldn’t meet yuna’s gaze as she said this, your face hot with shame. you felt so bad for her, and you didn’t quite know what to say in response.

“i’m sorry that things ended this way,” you finally said.

“it’s okay, it was gonna happen sooner or later,” yuna replied. “but if i’m right, then you should probably go talk to him, he’s probably going insane with guilt right now over me, and over you. bro’s got a lot on his plate.”

you gave a small chuckle at the last sentence, making yuna smile a bit.

“well thank you for the talk yuna, but i’ve gotta go. i think i need to go find jungwon.”

yuna felt her heart break a bit at the words, but she smiled anyways and said bye as she watched you leave the bathroom. yuna didn’t know if she was supposed to cry or feel happy for you and jungwon, but she did know that she was right. again. she knew his heart had always belonged to you. anyone could see that.

—--------

trying to find jungwon was easier than you expected. he was sitting on a swing, at the park that you became his, then wasn’t his anymore, and then confessed your love to him. there was so much that had happened at this park that it made your head hurt a bit just thinking about it.

“is it okay if i sit here?” you asked, motioning to the swing beside him.

“of course you can,” jungwon replied.

the two of you sat in silence.

“i don’t think we should be friends anymore,” you finally spoke up.

he jerked his head to look at you, shock coursing through him. “wait, why not?”

you took a deep breath before saying, “i can’t be friends with you anymore because i’m in love with you. there hasn’t been a moment since i’ve met you that i haven’t been.”

his heart skipped a beat at your words.

this was it, this is what you’d been waiting for since the day you laid eyes on jungwon. but you didn’t think it would go quite like this. you sat there for a moment as jungwon studied you, and you wished he would say something, anything.

“but did you ever consider how i felt?” he finally asked, his voice cracking ever so slightly. “have you ever considered that maybe i’ve felt the same way?”

you felt your breath catch in your throat as he continued, “i’ve seen you everyday since we were five when your family moved in next door. but i didn’t really see you until freshman year, sitting in class by the window, your hair flowing from the breeze that came through, doodling in your notebook instead of paying attention to the lesson. and when you caught me staring, you smiled and waved, and i swear i fell in love with you that day. that day, i knew my heart would always be yours.”

“so please,” jungwon pleaded. “please, do whatever you want with it. you could break it a million times over and it would still be yours.”

now this, this was exactly you had always dreamed of.

you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him, trying to convey all the repressed love you’ve had for him for years through the kiss. you loved him. you loved every single part of jungwon, every flaw, every imperfection, everything that made him him.

“so does this mean we’re official?” jungwon grinned as he pulled away, a playful look in his eyes. you smiled back, feeling the heart eyes in your gaze and the way your heart melted just by looking at him.

“took you long enough.”

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userastarion · 7 months ago

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EDIT: HOLD ON MY DUMB ASS NEEDS TO RENAME THIS LMAO

if you want to reblog, please reblog THIS VERSION instead! 🤡

hypothetically, if i were to make a personality quiz, would anybody take it?

#i just found this again so #here u go!#quiz #i just took it again and got the searcher lol #text post #i made this 3.5 years ago pls don’t judge too harshly okAY #ETA: took me this entire time to realize the question didn’t match the damn answers #fixed it & updated a new version of the post

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atinylittlepain · 2 years ago

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okay i have a joel request!! so yknow in the game where joel pushes ellie into the water as a joke, how about that situation with reader while they’re just playing around and reader pretends to drown or like not come back up to the surface to get back at him LOL and he’s just not happy

hey there! i love this idea, i did give it a lil of my own twist bc i like to write a very grumpy Joel lol - i hope you like it :)

Splash

Joel Miller x f!reader

joel miller masterlist

She's just trying to get him to lighten up, but Joel is far from amused.

warnings | 18+ angst, allusions to smut, joel is a stinker

......................

“C’mon.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Joel–”

“No. We’re supposed to be on patrol, not fucking around.” She huffs, turning heel and traipsing further away from him and closer to the lake they had just come across. It’s the middle of the summer, and even up in the mountains, the heat is nearly stifling, especially as they’ve been hiking around on patrol for the last three hours.

She kneels down at the water’s edge, dipping her hand into the lake. The water is refreshingly cool, and sends a shiver down her spine. She looks over her shoulder at Joel, who’s standing with his arms crossed over his chest, a pursed look on his face as he squints at her. Rolling her eyes, she stands, dropping her rifle down alongside her as she starts to toe off her boots and peel off her shirt. She can hear him scoff behind her.

“What’re you doing?” Now bare from the waist up, she turns to look at him, enjoying his wide eyes and slack expression as he takes in her figure, like it isn’t the thousandth time he’s seen her like this.

“Our shift’s almost over and we haven’t seen a damn thing. I’m hot and tired and I’m gonna cool off in the lake. You don’t wanna join me? Fine. You can stay scowling like that and keep watch, Miller.” Before he can reply, she’s already turning back around, shucking off her pants and underwear in one brisk tug. She hears him gruffly sigh her name, but she gives it no acknowledgement, wading out into the lake until she can float lazily in the deepest part. It really does feel good, the cool water easing her aching muscles. She tips her head back, letting out a moan of relief, her eyes fluttering shut. When she cracks one eye open, she sees that Joel has sidled up along the water’s edge, his scowl softened into a little pout as he watches her.

“Just get in, Joel. Feels so good.” She can just barely hear his grumbles as she watches him sit down at the edge of the lake.

The moment she has the idea, she knows it’s mean, cruel even. But she’s sick of him taking everything so goddamn seriously. They’ve been living in Jackson for months now, the most comfortable and safe situation they’ve probably ever found themselves in, but Joel is still acting like a skittish asshole. So, she decides that if he can’t lighten up on his own, she’s gonna make him.

She calls his name to get his attention, acting like she’s about to say something more before letting out a dramatic gasp and starting to splash jerkily in the water. He’s up in a flash, calling her name in concern. Got him. She pushes herself down under the water, sinking slowly to the bottom of the lake.

Joel meanwhile is a frantic mess as he practically dives into the water still in his clothes. He keeps calling her name, dipping under the water, but it’s too murky to see anything. Even at the deepest part of the lake, the water only comes up to his chest as he moves around, eyes darting everywhere for her. He lets out a loud curse when something brushes against his leg.

She pops out of the water with a spluttering laugh, quickly wrapping her arms around his neck as he tries to jerk away. His hands find purchase on her waist, squeezing harshly as he lets out another string of curses. She can’t stop laughing, trying to lightly shush his exclamations, but judging from the look on Joel’s face, he doesn’t find anything about this funny.

“Oh, c’mon, Joel–” he doesn’t let her finish before he’s shrugging out of her hold, leaving her splashing back into the water as he trudges back onto shore. He doesn’t even look at her as he wrings out the ends of his shirt, sliding his rifle back onto his shoulder.

“Get out and get dressed. We’re going home, goddamnit.” She swallows hard, still treading lightly in the middle of the lake, clearly not moving quick enough for Joel as he finally turns and fixes her with a steely glare.

“Now!” She jumps in her skin at his raspy shout, quickly swimming back to land before his temper fires any further.

It’s a very quiet hike back to Jackson, and she winces when Tommy greets them at the gate, slapping Joel on the shoulder before looking at his brother questioningly.

“What the fuck happened to your clothes, man?” Joel huffs, shrugging off Tommy’s hand and stomping off toward their home. She smiles apologetically at Tommy before trailing behind Joel, entirely dreading the groveling she’s going to have to do.

When they both get home, he still won’t talk to her, won’t even look at her as she follows him into their bedroom, watching him shuck off his damp clothes for a dry shirt and pants.

“Joel, I’m sorry, ok? Will you please just–” he holds up his hand, and she stutters into silence.

“Don’t– just don’t.” Before she can say anything else, he’s already shuffling out of the room with a huff. She sighs when she hears the front door open and slam behind him.

…

She spends the rest of the afternoon helping at the greenhouses, only being shaken out of her guilty thoughts when Ellie joins her, kneeling down alongside her and the garden beds.

“Just ran into the old man at the stables. Is there a reason he looks more pissed off than usual?” She huffs, sitting back on her haunches where she had been tending several plants.

“Think I’m in the doghouse, kid. Did something kinda mean to him on patrol today.” Ellie snorts, shrugging lightly.

“Eh, he probably deserved it. I wouldn’t worry about it, though. Joel couldn’t stay mad at you even if he tried.” She sighs, offering the girl a small smile as she squeezes her shoulder.

“I’d rather not think about it anymore. What’re you up to, huh?” Ellie grins.

“Just stopping by to let you know I’m hanging out with Dina tonight. Probably won’t be home until late so don’t wait up.” She can’t help but smile at the girl’s obvious excitement, laughing lightly.

“Alright, kid. Just be safe, ok? And smart.” Ellie nods as she gets up, already backpedaling away.

“Yes ma’am! And hey, seriously, don’t sweat whatever funk you put the old man in. I’m sure it’ll blow over soon enough.” She does her best to give Ellie one more smile, but it quickly wilts away once the girl is out of sight. The truth is, she hadn’t seen him quite that angry in a long time, and for it to be over something so silly, it has her worried. It was an unnecessarily dumb thing to do, sure, but it certainly didn’t merit such a backlash of a response from him.

She sighs, getting back to work, but she can’t shake the swirling thought that she’s really not looking forward to talking with him again.

…

She lingers well into dusk at the greenhouses, knowing full well it’s not because she has a particular fondness for mulch. By the time she reaches their house, the sun has set and a faint glow comes from the windows. It’s quiet when she steps inside, she can just make out the faint twang of guitar strings coming from upstairs. Not a great sign, she knows Joel tends to play when he wants to be left alone.

As she makes her way upstairs, she takes a few steadying breaths, padding quietly into their bedroom. He’s sitting on the end of the bed, brow furrowed in concentration on his fingers lightly plucking at the guitar strings. He doesn’t even look her way, continuing to play nonsense chords. She sighs, getting up on the bed to kneel behind him. She can feel his muscles tense when she brings her palms to his shoulders, but he slackens slightly when she lays a kiss between his shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry, Joel. I really am.” She murmurs it into the worn material of his t-shirt, pressing her forehead into his back. She can feel the push and pull of the sigh he lets out, can hear the sound of him gently setting his guitar down. One of his hands tangles with hers where it’s resting over his shoulder. His voice is low and thick when he speaks, what remains of his southern drawl muddling the words together.

“Fucking scared me. What were you thinking? I just– I–” She shushes him, moving to sit next to him, but Joel has something else in mind, squeezing her hip to guide her to straddle his thighs. Now that he’s finally looking at her, she kind of wishes he’d stop, his eyes so intensely staring her down. She huffs, winding her arms behind his neck.

“I wasn’t thinking, alright? It was stupid– just a stupid thing to do and I’m sorry. But Joel, you just– you got so angry. I haven’t seen you like that in a long time. I just feel like it was a little blown out of proportion.” He sighs, his fingers flexing into the plush of her hips as he studies her face.

“I know you’re right, but christ– I just feel restless. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, I guess. For all this to be too good to be true.” Her brow furrows and she dips her head to catch his downturned gaze.

“What if it isn’t too good to be true, huh? This is the longest we’ve stayed anywhere in a long time, hell, maybe ever. I understand, I really do. But I think we have a really good thing here, and you’re so skittish it’s passing right by you.” A deep frown still creases his face, his gaze not quite meeting hers. She starts laying smacking kisses to his cheeks, the downturned corners of his mouth, punctuating each with reassuring mantras.

“I’m safe. You’re safe. Ellie’s safe. We’re safe.” He grumbles under her ministrations, squeezing her hips, but she can tell by the way his features are softening that he’s finally starting to give in to her coaxing, letting out a long sigh as he looks at her.

“You’re right– but I can’t help being on edge. Just the thought of something happening to you or Ellie– I don’t even–” She cuts him off, tugging lightly at the curls at the nape of his neck.

“So don’t. Just be here with us, right now. Here with me.” She presses a chaste peck to his lips to seal her words, but as she pulls away, he chases after it, pulling her into a deeper kiss. They’re both a bit breathless once they finally separate, a smile daring to tug at the corners of Joel’s lips.

“Still a little mad at you.” She huffs, pouting out her lip at him.

“Aw, poor baby. Want me to make it up to you?” He lets out a breathy chuckle as she’s already slinking out of his hold, down onto her knees between his legs. She rubs her palms up his thighs and he shakes his head at her, nothing but fondness in his eyes.

“Gonna be the death of me, woman.”

#joel miller angst #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #tlou fanfiction #tlou

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sweethischier · 1 year ago

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥 | 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐇𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬

word count: 5.9k

warnings: idk some angst, misunderstanding, swearing, drinking, kissing

note: im not like super happy with this but oh well! this is my first time writing for the nhl so dont judge toooooo harshly lol. request more if you'd like!

The sun filtered through the cracks in the curtains, gently stirring you from your peaceful dream, eliciting a quiet groan as you were quite enjoying said dream. You dragged the blanket over your head in an attempt to go back to sleep, but that proved worthless as you heard Jack shout your name from down the hall. You could hear his footsteps nearing your room, and you tightened the grip you had on the blanket so that he wasn’t able to rip it off as easily. You just wanted to stay in bed a little longer and then maybe you would get up.

“C’mon, sunshine. Time to get up,” He laughed as he managed to pull the blanket off your body. The way you were curled up in a ball as you tried to shield yourself from the sunlight made his heart swell, but it was a sensation he was used to when it came to you.

For the last six years of his life, you had been present for anything major in his life. Sometimes it was over facetime, but you had still always made time for him and he made time for you. When you had finished college a year early and worked yourself into multiple panic attacks a day because you were scared about what you were going to do from there, it was Jack who suggested you move to Jersey with him. It was Jack who helped you get on your feet and start your career.

In turn, he got to have you there with him. You were there at every home game, smile wide and eyes bright as you cheered him and his team on. You were there to comfort him when he felt like he had let everyone down because had an off game. Nails scratching his scalp as you let him rant about how he felt like he was under too much pressure. He was there for you, too. He was there when you felt like a failure and nothing was going in the right direction. More importantly, you were both there for each other when everything did go right, and that was when Jack felt himself start to fall in love with his best friend.

“Go away,” You whined, “It’s too early to be awake.”

Jack gently grabbed your arms that were covering your face and pulled them down so he could see you. Your eyes were squeezed shut and your nose was scrunched, refusing to welcome the daylight without a fight. “It’s nearly 11:30. Luke and I are already back from morning skate,” He teased, thumbs softly tracing circles on your arms.

You peeked at him through your barely open eyes, meeting his own as he waited for you to get out of bed. You were never able to resist his pleading eyes and childlike pout, and it was quite pathetic just how easy you caved when it came to the boy in front of you. All he needed to do was breathe around you and you would do whatever he asked, but of course he didn’t know that. That was a secret you intended to keep in order to maintain the best friendship you’ve ever had.

“I hate you,” You grumbled, ignoring the way his touch lit your skin on fire. The action wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but it made you silently yearn for more all the same.

“No you don’t. Now let’s go or I’ll go get Trevor and we’ll drag you out of bed.”

You let Jack pull you out of your very comfortable bed, and followed him down the hall to the kitchen where Trevor and Luke were bickering over Lord knows what. You sleepily sulked behind your best friend, wanting nothing more than to turn around and go back to bed. The boys had kept you up until nearly four in the morning catching up, and arguing about whose hockey team was the better of the two.

“Y/N,” Trevor’s smile beamed once he took notice of your presence. He left his dispute with Luke and wrapped his arms around you in a hug that nearly crushed you.

“Trevor, you literally saw me last night,” You feigned annoyance as you wrapped your arms around his neck to return his affection.

Luke watched as his brother’s body tensed; jaw clenching, fists briefly balling into fists, and eyes narrowing in on his two best friends. The nineteen year old rolled his eyes at his brother's obvious, and unearned, jealousy. He lightly slapped Jack on the shoulder, breaking his attention away from the two of you, and raised his eyebrows as he silently asked what was up. Jack rolled his eyes at his younger brother before turning to find something to eat for you.

Trevor knew what he was doing, but he wasn’t doing it because he was trying to be mean. He was trying to motivate Jack to get his head out of his ass and finally admit that he had feelings for you. Making him jealous probably wasn’t the best idea, but none of his other ideas had worked. His encouraging talks had only frustrated Jack, so he was taking a different approach for his short visit in New Jersey.

“Thank you, J,” You smiled up at Jack as he placed the bowl of cereal on the dining room table you had to beg the boys to get. Jack knew that, even though it was nearing lunch time, you had just woken up and you were going to want breakfast.

“You guys are too cute,” Trevor couldn’t help but tease, falling into the chair on the opposite side of the table, “You need to put us all out of your misery and just date each other.”

“Seriously, Trev? How many times do I need to tell you that we’re just friends and that’s all we will be,” Jack clipped, giving his friend a warning glare as he walked back into the kitchen.

Despite knowing that Jack only ever thought of you as his best friend, the way he said that made your face fall and your chest tighten. You kept your eyes trained on the table in front of you as you blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over. Trevor glanced between Jack and you, eyes filled with worry and guilt once he noticed the way you refused to look up and how red your cheeks were.

“So,” Luke started, trying to diffuse the obvious tension, “You coming to the game, Trev? I know Y/N is because she wants to see Barzal.” Luke also knew what he was doing, and he was doing it to be mean.

Trevor let out a laugh as you defended, “Excuse me, I go to all of your home games! Being able to see Mat Barzal is just a bonus.”

The sound of a cabinet aggressively slamming shut made all three of your heads turn to the kitchen where Jack stood with his back turned to everyone. He mumbled an irritated apology before he finally decided to take the seat next to you. Luckily, Luke’s change in topic was enough to stop yourself from crying, but Jack mistook your reddened cheeks for a blush that was elicited by the mention of the Isles center.

“As long as you’re wearing a Devil’s jersey, look at whoever you want.”

“Why wouldn’t she wear a Devils jersey,” Jack spoke, voice laced with a hint of panic at the thought of you wearing the other team's jersey.

“Because she’s in love with Barzal. C’mon Jack, keep up.”

“Okay, first of all, she is right here and she is not in love with Mat Barzal, he’s just very nice to look at,” You gave the two boys across from you a pointed look before passing a soft glance at Jack, “And I’m wearing a Devils jersey like I do every game.”

The conversation fell back to a less awkward strained topic and the uneasiness between you and Jack faded until it was normal again. The boys still have a few hours left before they have to head back to The Rock for the game, so you all opted to hang out and watch TV before then so they could relax. You were pressed into Jack’s side, his arm slung around the back of the couch as they talked.

It was the small moments like this that made you feel like Jack liking you back was possible. The way that he would pull you back close to him if you scooted even an inch away from him. The way that he would subconsciously trace patterns on your skin because he had to keep himself occupied in some sort of way. It made you feel hopeful, but you were quick to bring yourself back to the heart shattering reality that it meant nothing to him.

To Jack, though, these moments were everything.

“Y/N,” Jack’s voice was soft as he knocked on your door, “Can I come in?”

“Of course,” You called out, filtering through your clothes to find something to wear tonight.

Jack was anxious; his heart beating out of his chest and hands slightly shaking as he walked into your room with a piece of fabric in his grasp. He had a jersey with his own name and number on the back , and he was going to ask you if you would wear it tonight. He wanted something that labeled you as his even if you weren’t. Yet.

“What’s up,” You turned to face him, eyes briefly darting down to the jersey in his hand.

“I know you wear just a plain jersey to the games because you don’t want me or Luke to feel left out, but do you maybe want to wear my jersey tonight? It’s totally okay if you don’t want to! Actually, you know what- forget I asked. It was stupid,” Jack rushed out, panic clearly written everywhere on his body as he started to rush away.

“Jack,” You grabbed his hand before he could run away, “I would love to wear your jersey.” You’re not quite sure what exactly possessed Jack to give you one of his jerseys, but you were absolutely not going to say no. To you, the gesture meant everything. A step in the right direction.

Jack searched your face for any sort of doubt, but all he saw was the same small smile and sparkling eyes he saw every time he looked at you. Every part of him wanted nothing more than to kiss you and tell you that he was yours and you were his. Not Mat Barzal’s.

Painfully aware of how close the two of you were, butterflies swarmed your stomach. The way he was looking at you made your heart soar into the clouds and hope filled your veins as you let yourself drift to the possibility that maybe he did feel the same way you had for the last few years.

“You better get going. Don’t want you to be late,” You whispered, suddenly feeling sheepish because you swear you saw his eyes glance at your lips for a few seconds.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll see you at the game.” With a chaste kiss on the cheek, he was out the door, leaving you there to overthink the entire interaction.

You and Trevor had found your seats, and it was just the two of you since Ellen and Jim were at Quinn’s game. You watch as the team warms up, and, no matter how hard you tried not to, you found yourself mainly focusing on Jack. The way he glides across the ice never fails to amaze you. He belongs out there.

“Nice jersey,” Trevor commented, eyes staying trained on the ice with a sly smirk on his face.

“Shut up,” You rolled your eyes, “He asked me if I wanted to wear it so I said yes, but I’m not sure why- Oh my god, look! It’s Mat!” You gripped Trevor’s bicep as you squealed and subtly pointed at the man who just stepped out onto the ice.

“That’s why,” He shook his head, “Your comment about how sexy Barzy is made him all jealous and moody.”

“Oh, whatever. He doesn’t care about that,” You dismissed as you broke away from the teams to look at Trevor.

“Is that why he’s looking at him like he wants to slam him into the boards before the game even starts,” He nodded his head towards Jack.

Jack had looked in your direction as soon as he heard the Isles come out, and he wished that he hadn’t. The way your face lit up as you pointed at Barzal made his skin crawl and his chest burn with jealousy. He was standing off to the side with Nico as he tried to go over some of their game plans, but his eyes were now focused on number 13 on the opposing team. He tried to not let his personal life interfere with what he did on the ice, but he’s not so sure that was possible tonight.

The first period was aggressive, to say the least. The Devils were down by one and Jack spent his fair share of time in the sin bin for boarding a certain Isles player. Luckily, all of his penalties were minors so he was still able to play in the game, but you’re not so sure the refs would keep letting him off if he continued the stunts he was pulling.

“Trevor,” Your voice was laced with anxiety as Luke pulled Jack away before he initiated an actual fight and got another penalty. You know hockey is an aggressive sport, but you’ve never seen Jack play like this.

“It’s okay. It’s not all his fault,” He tried to comfort you as your grip on his hand tightened, “They’re starting to play just as dirty. Hopefully intermission will calm everyone down.”

You nervously bit at your nails and lip throughout the rest of the game. Both teams were still being unnecessarily hostile, but it wasn’t as bad as the first period. In the end, Jack managed to get the winning shot, and the cheers that erupted shook The Rock. You threw your arms around Trevor's neck as you let out a breath of relief; thankful that the agonizingly long game ended in their favor.

You and Trevor waited for both Hughes boys, talking about what exactly the plan was going to be tonight. He, of course, wanted to go out and celebrate their win, but you weren’t entirely sure if the boys would still be up for it after the game that they had. Players startled to slowly trickle out of the locker room; most of them stopping to talk to Trevor before they went on their way.

You were engrossed in a conversation with Dawson and Trevor when Luke finally came out of the locker room. He makes a playful glance at your jersey, wiggling his eyebrows as you ignore him and ask him about how he feels like the game went. He goes on about how he wasn’t super proud of their performance due to the obvious, but he was happy that they came out on top despite that. You beamed about how proud you are of him, and then you saw Jack coming out of the locker room.

His damp hair stuck to his forehead and you could see the faint start of a nasty bruise on his left cheek. He looked defeated and annoyed, and that was enough to tell you that he got an earful from Lindy and the media asked the wrong questions. He hated talking to them in general, and he especially hated it when he played like he did. You wanted nothing more than to pull him in and comfort him like you used to often, before Luke moved in.

With an encouraging shove from Luke, you met Jack in the middle and immediately pulled him into your chest. He was quick to wrap his arms around your waist, drawing you in closer than you already were. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, wanting the moment to last forever if it was possible. You didn’t mind the wetness on your skin, but the way Jack was hugging you was not making anything easy for you. He held you like you were the only thing grounding him to Earth.

“You played like shit,” You quietly teased as you forced yourself to pull away from him before you read too much into it.

“Maybe, but we still beat ‘em. Guess Barzal isn’t that great after all,” He slightly puffed his chest out before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and walking to the others.

You furrowed your eyebrows at his last comment, and it made you wonder if you saying that you found Mat Barzal attractive really did upset him. After the way he played towards him, it would make perfect sense. Still, you can’t piece together just why that would bother him enough to make him let it out on the ice like that. You weren’t naive enough to believe that it meant that Jack was jealous because he had feelings for you. You’re positive that it was something else. It had to be.

After everyone had agreed on a bar to meet up at, they all went separate ways to go back home and quickly change. You and the boys knew you were going to go out already, so you were all dressed and ready to go. Once you were in the car, you peeled the Devil’s jersey off you to reveal the red tank top underneath.

“Damn girl,” Trevor whistled, eyes shamelessly darting down to your exposed cleavage.

You playfully smacked him in the chest and rolled your eyes, neatly folding the jersey and placing it in the middle seat of the car. Jack cast a stormy glare back at Trevor, who shrugged and gave his best friend an innocent smile.

“Bye, Lukey,” You leaned over the center console to kiss his cheek, “Next year you can join us and not have to be the driver.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He rolled his eyes, “Give’s me time to sleep without you all bothering me. Have fun and call me if you need me to come get you.”

The three of you pushed your way into the loud and crowded bar. Jack quickly announced that he was going to hit the bathroom and he would meet the two of you at the bar. You gently held the back of Trevor’s shirt as he led you through the horde of people. You got the bartender's attention and ordered a round of shots for the three of you, but when you had turned back to Trevor, he was already engaged in a flirty conversation with a pretty blonde girl.

Letting out a quiet chuckle, you moved your attention back to the bar. You waited a few more minutes for Jack to come back, but he had yet to make his reappearance. Deciding you were going to see if you could spot him, you placed your hands on the sticky counter, feet planting themselves on the footrest of the barstool to stand and look around the bar. Your eyes bounced across the sea of people in search of Jack, but when your eyes landed on him you felt the entire floor come out from underneath you.

There he was; leaning against a wall with his stupid bright, perfect smile plastered on his face as a girl animatedly talked to him. Every breath you took as you watched them felt like razor blades slicing into every inch of your body and your heart ached like it never had before. Blinking back a wave of tears, you downed the three shots in front of you. They were slightly warm, but the burning sensation they brought to you was a feeling you welcomed with open arms.

“Woah there, Y/N,” Nico’s deep, slightly accented voice cut through the loud music.

“Nico,” You cheered, pulling him into your side for a hug, “You did so good tonight.”

“Thank you,” He lightly laughed, hand staying on your back to steady you as you teetered on the stool, “Your boy was playing a little dirty tonight.”

Nico didn’t miss the way you stiffened at the mention of Jack, and he pulled his brows together in confusion. He had seen the two of you in an intimate hug right before he had left, so he assumed that things had developed between the two of you. While you ordered another two shots, the captain looked around for his teammate. He let out an understanding breath once he found him, still in deep conversation with the girl you had seen.

“Y/N,” Nico tried, “Are you o-”

“I’m going to dance,” You interrupted before he could ask the one question that was certainly going to bring you to tears.

Nico sighed, but he had been around you enough to know that you were not the type of person to push. That was a recipe for disaster. Instead, he opted to keep a close eye on you in case something were to happen.

You lost count of how many drinks you had at about five drinks, but you’re certain that you were past your limit. Sweat covered bodies bumped into your own as you danced to the loud music, ignoring the bleeding pain in your chest. You refused to look in Jack’s direction for the rest of the night, fearful that what you saw was going to further break you.

Eventually, you got tired of everyone bumping into you as you danced, so you climbed up onto a table that was littered with half full glasses and empty beer cans. You closed your eyes and let the music guide your body, hips swaying and hands salaciously running the curves of your body.

“Y/N,” A familiar voice yelled over the music, their hand coming to grasp your calf, “Get your drunk ass down!”

You looked down and met Trevor’s worried gaze, though he was quite a bit blurry courtesy of the copious amounts of alcohol you had consumed. Shaking your head at him, you continued dancing and ignored his continuous calls for you to come down from the table. It wasn’t until you heard the one person you were trying to forget that you stopped your movements.

The way Jack was looking up at you with anxiety swirling in his eyes made you want to scream. He had no right to be concerned about when he was the cause of it. Though, he had no idea that he was.

“Y/N,” Jack repeated, taking note of the drunken glare you gave him, “Please come down.”

You tore your glossy eyes away from him, and held your hand out to Trevor so he could help you down from the table. Jack felt his heart crack at your blatant dismissal of him, but he tried to not let it get to him because he knew you were drunk. Still, he hated how you latched onto Trevors side, leaning your head on his chest as he steadied you. He was always the one you clung too, and he doesn’t like the way it feels to be on the outside of that.

“We should call Luke, yeah,” Trevor suggested as he soothingly rubbed your arm, “You need to get home.”

“I can call him and we can go back together,” Jack was quick to offer himself up.

“No,” You moaned out, shaking your head against Trevor’s chest, “I don’t wanna be around you.”

Jack’s already cracked heart completely shattered inside his chest, the sting from it bleeding into his veins. The despondent look that was slapped on his face would have been enough to send you to your knees had you been looking at him, but you knew better than that. You knew that you would cave in to Jack like you always did, but that’s not what you needed. It was clear that you were never going to have him the way you wanted, and you needed to forget him. Even if it was just for a night.

“Jack,” Trevor sighed, his own chest burning for his best friend, “I texted Luke before I came to get her and he should be here soon. I’ll make sure she gets to him, okay?”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, all Jack could manage was a nod and move out of the way so Trevor could guide you out of the bar. His entire heart left with you, and he was left staring at the floor wondering what had happened for you to not want to be around him. In order to keep himself from crying in front of his teammates, he made a beeline for the bar to get drinks of his own.

The first thing you felt the following morning was the deadly pounding in your head, and you prayed to any God that would listen that you could just go back to sleep for the rest of your life. Your head was shoved underneath your pillow as you attempted to push back the consistent waves of nausea, but the feeling grew. Before you could truly comprehend what was going on, you were on your feet and darting to the bathroom.

“Y/N,” Trevor called from the other side of the bathroom door, “I’m coming in.”

You tossed him a bleary look as he walked in with a cup of water in hand. The pitiful smile he gave you in return surely would have made you vomit again had you not already emptied all the contents of your stomach. You could see the apprehension clearly arranged on his face.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” You mumbled against your arm that was acting as a barrier between your face and the toilet.

“I didn’t even say anything,” He let out an airy laugh as he searched through the cabinets for some Advil, “Since you brought it up, though...”

“Trevor,” You warned, trying to give him a mean glare, but it hurt your head too much to strain that hard.

Despite how much you drank last night, you were still excruciatingly aware of what had caused you to get that way. The feeling that consumed your entire being when you saw Jack with that girl was still something that was eating away at your heart. You knew that your emotions were going to get the better of you one day, but nothing could have prepared you for when it did.

“Take these,” He ordered, “What happened last night? I’ve never seen you like that, especially not towards Jack. I don’t care that you don’t want to talk about it. If you don’t, you’ll let it take over and you’ll fall into the same hole you did when Trent broke up with you.”

You knew that he was right, but it still annoyed you that Trevor Zegras, of all people, was right. You also knew that he was going to see through any lie you told him. In spite of his reputation, he was a very observant and caring person, especially when it cameto the ones he loved.

“I saw Jack with some girl last night. That’s all there is to say, really. You know how I feel about him, so it just really sucked. And I guess I let myself read too much into certain situations,” You admitted, taking the pills in hopes that they would help the headache subside.

He sharply sucked in a breath, understanding washing over his body like a wave. He knew the girl you were talking about; Jack had mentioned something about him being ambushed by the bathrooms. She was going on about how her girlfriend was one of his biggest fans, and then Jack had somehow, yet unsurprisingly, managed to bring you up in the conversation. He had told Trevor that the girl made fun of Jack for being a little bitch and not telling you how he feels, which Trevor happily agreed with.

“Y/N,” He sighed, squatting so he was eye level with you, “You need to go talk to him, and don’t say no. It will be better, for both of you, if you talk to each other. Watching the both of you pine over each other is really grinding my gears.”

After a not so lengthy argument with Trevor, partly because he just kept repeating himself and partly because you were too tired to argue, your feet were gently padding down the hall to Jack’s room. Your breathing was quick and uneven as you anxiously squeezed your hands together, moreso the closer you got to him. Taking a deep breath, you gently rapped your knuckles on his door.

“Go away, Trevor,” His voice was muffled, quiet, and defeated.

“Jack,” You softly called as you opened your door and peeked your head in.

“Y/N,” You watched as he jumped up in his bed, pillow falling off the bed and blanket pooling around his waist, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just- Can I come in?”

He eagerly nodded his head, scooting back so he was leaning against the headboard. Trying to keep your eyes from wandering his naked chest was proving difficult the closer you got to him. It felt highly inappropriate given the circumstances. The air was awkward and sticky as you took a seat on the edge of his bed, and you hated that. Things should never be like this with Jack.

Jack knew you so well and he had spent so much time memorizing everything about you that it wasn’t hard to tell that you were nervous, and exhausted. Your lip was red from chewing on it and the skin below your hand was irritated from you pinching yourself, both nervous habits you’ve had as long as he’s known you. However, you also had dark, stormy clouds of exhaustion hanging over you. He wanted nothing more than to pull you into his bed and hold you until you fell asleep.

“How are you feeling,” He asked, eyes flitting from your face to his lap.

“Honestly, I feel like I got hit by a bus,” You laughed, feeling some of the nerves dissipate, “But, I wanted to talk about something. Well, Trevor’s forcing me to do it, but I also think we should talk about it.”

Jack’s already high anxiety skyrocketed. He has no idea what you were going to say, and that terrified him. His mind wandered to the worst possibilities, all of which involved you telling him that you were leaving and never wanted to see him again. He’s not sure he would be able to survive that blow.

“What’s up,” He played it cool as if his heart wasn’t beating so hard and fast that he thought it was going to burst out of his chest.

“I want you to listen to me entirely before you say anything okay,” You started, tucking a leg underneath your thigh as you turned to fully face him. You continued after he gave you a shy nod, “I’m really sorry about last night. About telling you I didn’t want to be around you. I was upset, and hurt. I was waiting for you at the bar and you were taking a while, so I tried to look for you.

“And I saw you talking to a girl by the bathrooms, and I guess I got a little jealous. I got jealous because I- I don’t know, it’s kind of obvious why, Jack. I let my emotions get to me and I reacted terribly, I’m sorry. And it’s okay that you don’t feel the same way that I feel. Just promise me it won’t change our friendship?”

His heart, still beating erratically, was doing flips inside his chest as he let your words fully soak in. Jack knew he wasn’t a Harvard scholar, but it didn’t take much to figure out you were saying you had feelings for him without actually saying it. All those hours of Trevor trying to convince Jack that you liked him back flooded his memory, and he felt stupid for not believing him. Now Trevor was kind of an airhead, but if something was that obvious to him, Jack should have known it was true.

The silence that hung in the air was daunting, but you were giving him time to think about what you had said to him. Springing a half-assed love confession on someone who looked just as hungover as you were probably wasn’t the best idea, but it was Trevor’s so it made sense. You refused to make eye contact with Jack as he, presumably, found a way to gently let you down. You decided to focus on picking at your fingers while you waited, a habit you thought you had broken

“I was jealous too, you know,” He started, moving his body so he was sitting in the same position as you. He delicately took your hands in his own before you picked so hard you drew blood.

“Of what,” You frowned.

“The whole Barzal thing. You said you thought he was hot, and I guess I got a little insecure because he is an attractive guy,” He explained, his voice laced with apprehension, “Trevor and Luke kept talking about how you’re in love with him or whatever, and then I saw how excited you got when he got on the ice and I don’t know. It really bothered me.

“And the girl at the bar? We were only talking because she said her girlfriend was a big fan, and then I started talking about you, like I always do. She basically told me I was a pussy for not telling you how I felt, and she’s right.”

You snapped your gaze to meet his own, and you knew you were royally screwed. He was looking at you like you hung the stars and the moon, and it was in that moment you realize that he’s looked at you like that for a while. You were just too naive, and scared, to let yourself believe it was anything other than friendship.

“I love you, Y/N, and not in just a friend way but an “I-want-you-to-be-my-girlfriend” way. And I really want to kiss you.”

“So do it.”

In an instant, he was pulling you into him, his soft lips meeting your own in a messy kiss. You moved your hands to the nape of his neck, fingers carding into his hair as he pulled you onto his lap. His hands found place on your lower back, scared to wander any further out of fear of making you uncomfortable, but you had waited far too long for this moment for him to not explore whatever he wanted. However, the sound of Jack’s door opening caused the two of you to separate your mouths.

“Are you two going to come ea- Oh my god! They’re having sex,” Trevor screamed, quickly turning around and slamming the door shut, “Luke! Don’t go in there!”

Jack’s forehead fell to your shoulder as he let out an amused, “Fucking Trevor.” (iykyk lmao)

“You know, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but we actually owe him,” You let out a breathy laugh.

“Yes you do!”

“Go away!”

#jack hughes #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #nhl #nhl imagine #trevor zegras #luke hughes

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