#don’t get me started on english that’s a whole other can of worms

[cranberrylane]

i shouldn’t have checked my course list before bed and while i’m still on my break

[hrrtshape]

haiii emmaaaaa, how've you been? Hope you fine :333

I want help with something, it's more like... emotional LMAO, but istg you're the one I can trust the most for this, sooo well...

okay, I haven't shifted yet, and I love my s/o so much, like very very very much, I would kill for him, and yk that's okay, I mean, it's love after all. But, I've been scared of NEVER being able to see him, like shift. I've been actually feeling so sad abt that, I started to cry almost every night whenever I don't shift or when I want to see him. Cause I have a kind of problem... I've manifested meeting a boy at school in the first day of school (March 10) and it manifested, at first I was very happy, but then I realised something: Maybe I can completely forget about my s/o, cause I can't love two persons at once. It happened to me last year when I fell for a boy of my school, and that shit scared me for life. (Hopefully he rejected me, he was kinda cringe) And the thing is that I'm pressured to shift before March 10 cause otherwise I'm almost 100% sure I'll forget my s/o and probably shifting too js cause I will fall for him. AND I DONT WANT THAT, LIKE PLS NO, NEVER (well, I would like falling in love, but not forgetting my s/o or shifting). I tried to enter void state to shift and also manifest stuff but I didn't reach it still, also I tried other stuff but somehow I still didn't. The most close I've been to shift was in the start of 2024, it's been a fucking year. A WHOLE YEAR. I still believe in shifting but I've been getting so much doubts, a lot. And that scared me and provoked me to think that I'll never shift and I'll never see my s/o. I know I have time, I know I'll do it, but that shitty doubts live in my mind like toxic worms, and I hate that. I've been SO sad about the thing of never meeting my s/o or shifting, that I think I may be in a kind of depression or almost, some weeks ago I wanted to leave. And I talked with my mom abt this (not the shifting thing, but my feelings) and she said she's gonna try to get me a phsicologist or smtg. But I don't feel like this is the kind of stuff to talk about with someone who probably won't believe in shifting. Also I feel like you're my shifting sister and my safe place for this stuff, so tysm for always answering <3

And well, I think that's all. I'm tired of this feeling, and I don't know when I'm gonna see him, but I need it cause it's literally killing me. Please, if you have any recommendations or any other way of helping, I would be sososososo glad and thankful. Of course I won't oblige you or smtg, it's okay if you don't answer :3

Anyways, wish you a good day Emma!! baiii <33

(also sorry if stmg I wrote is wrong, english it's not my native language :c)

come here and let me wrap you in the softest, silkiest energy rn. your english is perfect and your heart is so big i can feel it through the screen.

i know this kind of love !!!! i do !!! it’s the kind that feels like it stretches across lifetimes, like it’s written into your bones. and the fear of losing it, of it slipping away from the thing that feels like home? i get it. i do !!! but listen to me, really listen!!! love like that doesn’t disappear. it doesn’t get replaced. you are not a machine with only one save slot for love. you are an entire universe, vast and infinite, and there is room for everything you care about. even if you develop feelings for someone in your cr, that doesn’t mean your love for your s/o stops existing. you don’t forget the moon just because the sun is shining.

shifting will happen for you. not because you’re racing against time, not because you’re scared, but because it’s already yours. doubts are normal. they don’t mean anything except that you care. and caring is not a weakness. it’s proof of how real this is to you. try to let go of the pressure. march 10 is a day like any other, the universe isn’t clocking you in like a shift supervisor. it’s just waiting for you to relax into what’s already meant for you.

and i’m really, really glad you talked to your mom about how you’re feeling. even if you don’t bring up shifting with a psychologist, having someone to talk to about the weight of all this could be really good for you. you deserve to feel okay. you deserve to feel safe.

you are not alone in this. take care of yourself, lovelie, and trust that you are on the right path. shifting isn’t going anywhere. neither is your love. neither am i !!!

[blurglesmurfklaine]

you seem really odd and your blog intrigues me, do you want to tell me more about Alicia, Buck's daughter, in texas!buddie au? pretty please?

HELLOOOOHOHOHOOOOOOOOOOO

You too seem really odd and your blog intrigues ME! Of COURSE I will tell you more about Alicia and Texas!Buddie this is a literal dream come true skndkskdkdn

You’ve opened a can of worms so I cannot be held responsible for the yapping that ensues ❤️

Alicia is 6 when she is sent to live with Buck

She was born in San Antonio Texas, where her mom and grandparents migrated to before she was born

She is the spitting image of Buck. She’s got his smile, his nose—even has a birthmark to match his—except she’s got dark hair and dark eyes. I am obsessed with the idea of Maddie doubting that this kid is even her baby brother’s up until the moment she sees her and then she’s like 😳

Alicia is fluent in both Spanish and English. Truly a bilingual queen

She definitely prefers Spanish, though, and the first time Eddie meets her she is incredibly shy about it, and then Buck whispers something to Alicia in Spanish, which Eddie hears and is like “Oh worm?” And starts talking to her in Spanish and of course she’s immediately obsessed with him

Her favorite show is Bluey, her favorite movie is The Lion King

She wants to be a Paletera when she grows up, because paletas make people happy and she wants to make people happy

This isn’t necessarily about Alicia, but I’m obsessed with the idea of her grandparents HAAAAATING Buck. Even though Buck is like. The absolute best to them and Alicia—they just can’t get past Buck being the gringo who knocked up their baby girl and then ran away back to America

Until they meet Buck’s actual parents and then they both decide “Hm. You know what? Actually fuck them, you’re ours now” and Buck is so weirded out but ultimately thinks it’s sweet

I think it would be fun if Eddie somehow orchestrates the meeting of the Buckleys and Alicia’s parents lol just so he can show them that Buck has enough asshole parents in his life

Scenarios?? You want scenarios??? I GOT Scenarios (TM) just you WAIT BABEYYYY

So this one has been rattling around my brain for a while. Chris is 16, Buck and Eddie have been married for years at this point and Chris BEGS Buck and Eddie to teach him how to drive. And Eddie of course is so soooo wary about it because it’s Christopher, that’s his son. And he never wants to discourage his kid but with his disability there are some things that are just more dangerous for him to do

But of course, they both cave—Bucks does copious amounts of research, they make the necessary adjustments, get any accommodations and modifications needed. It takes a long while, but Chris gets his license! Yay! He can drive! With limitations of course. Only with a parent in the passenger seat, and with prior approval.

It would ideal (for me. The whump bitch) if maybe Chris got into an argument with Buck and Eddie before this whole next part. Because I said so ❤️ but basically they tell him he’s not allowed to go somewhere (maybe a party??) because both of them have to work and can’t drop him off and he’s like “I can drive myself!” and they’re like the fuck you can! Besides, he’s been begging them for more responsibility, so he offered to watch Alicia.

Alicia, in an attempt to cheer her brother up, talks him into taking her to see the latest paw patrol movie “And maybe we can even stop by that girl’s party afterward!” And Chris is pissed at his dads and sold

Meanwhile, back at the 126, things are relatively easy. Until they get a call for FD at a two car collision just off the highway. One vic is stuck behind the wheel of the car. Other car has two vics, both minors. One male teen, female child in the passenger seat

As they arrive in the scene, Buck starts venting to Eddie because “What the hell kind of parent is letting their little girl in the front seat of a car. Don’t they know that those airbags are death traps for kids?”

“Buck—”

“I’m just saying. Someone should talk to those parents, if this kid makes it out of here.”

“Buck.”

And finally Buck stops, grounded by Eddie squaring his shoulders and pointing him to the wreckage.

That’s their car.

The exact make and model and Buck doesn’t believe in god but he starts praying anyway as he and Eddie sprint to the car, that the license plate isn’t theirs.

It is. That’s their daughter in the passenger seat, bleeding and unconscious. That’s his kid behind the wheel, fighting against the firefighters trying to get him out of there, screaming for his sister. And then he’s looking at Buck, and his face just crumples.

And he collapses into Buck’s arms, a wet mess of sobs and apologies and Eddie is pulling Alicia’s body out of the passenger seat and checking her vitals and performing rescue breaths on her and Christopher is asking “What’s going on, what’s happening, what are they doing with her?” And Buck just holds him so Chris doesn’t have to watch

Anyway. I just think that would be really neat!

[dramallamas]

Rewatching Beyond Evil and I’m taking (somewhat) unserious notes! Enjoy my brain worms.

Episode 1 || Next Episode

Ooooo dead body

Mad to think that when I first saw Jihoon’s actor he was playing a bully. This is a complete 180 and he does both roles well.

Intense middle aged running with intense music

(Spongebob style) Flashback~

Ah a church. You will never catch me there

The song they’re singing is oddly fitting to the theme of the show sans the whole God thing

We don’t stan Dongsik slander in this household.

Lee Dohyun <3

The signs in this flashback. The shot of the guitar pick, Kang Jinmuk being seen a lot but in the background, Bang Juseon being rude to Dongsik, Dongsik telling Yuyeon to leave at night (aka he had “motive”) etc

Lee twins crumbs I love it.

The cold filter when Dongsiks mum finds yuyeons fingertips nice touch

The title being “(to) Appear" mwah nice

Love the shots of how everything is “worse”when we transition to Dongsik now

Oct 11 2020 remember that me

HERE HE IS ITS JUWON

Dongsik saying stop in english <3

Pls the dramatic slow mo 🤣

Dongsik is a true justice/law upholder. Never letting things slide if its wrong. He and juwon are alike in that sense.

“Many a mickle makes a muckle” netflix what does that mean???? Like i get it but ive never heard that saying in my life

Everyone turns to see Juwon par Dongsik… that is until he speaks.

Juwon judging people and things right off the bat. Bro is not amused.

Technically Juwon is higher rank than Dongsik because Dongsik is assistant inspector and Juwon is flat out inspector

Dongsik immediately knew something was up as soon as he heard who Juwon’s dad is.

Juwon’s first impression of Dongsik is that he is intelligent and follows the law like rulebook when dealing with people (ofc he also thinks he is a murderer and should avoid someone like him and has already decided he hates his guts)

The tension starts as soon as Juwon drives past Dongsik. They immediately are making notes on each other

YOO JAEYI MY GIRLBOSS BELOVED. She is so much more clever than people give her credit for.

Jeongje and Dongsik being best friends…

OH JIHWA ^^

I love the manyang crew interactions.

“He’s not my type” not now… but he will be. you have no idea whats coming for you, Dongsik

Ew Hna Kihwan

I love these dinner scenes with Juwon. They so clearly reflect him and his attitude at the time as well as his relationship with his dad as well as how they change over the show.

아버지 and not 아빠 really emphasises the father-son relationship they have (or lack thereof)

Their first interaction and they already dont like each other.

Everyone sucking up to Juwon and trying to work with him and hes like yeah… no. Y’all are weird.

THEN GETS OFFENDED WHEN DONGSIK SAYS HE DOESNT WANNA WORK WITH HIM LMAOO

so hes like… two can play at this game bitch and calls Dongsik a nutjob.

Their reaction when Sangbae pairs them up is top tier

Juwons inner thoughts: “Day one… fuck my life”

Dongsik started teasing Juwon off the bat

They both have a super impressive memory wtf

“There are no secrets in this town. You are always being watched by someone.”

Dongsik nags Juwon about his aggressive driving and immediately drives aggressively because he can

Ah the reed field…

Juwon traipsing through the mud was me last week when I had to walk home (our area flooded)

We dont give the score for this show enough credit its so good like

“Why did you just stand there when a gust of wind was coming? You’ll learn once it slaps you in the face.” Metaphorrrrrrr

Juwon is already accusing Dongsik like 40mins into the ep like damn

Fresh out the shower dongsik is so yes.

Juwon in that white jumped is also a yes.

Mate respectfully I don’t think you got how relationships work. “People at my school or in my hometown want to be my friends by showing me unwanted kindness or attention. But at get-togethers they all talk about what I have or my connections. They gossip and laugh about it. In the end they all come to me for favours.” Dongsik is right in asking “Is it that simple?” Because it isn’t. (I will make a full post about this omg)

“What could you possibly have that makes you think you are the most important person in the universe?” THE MEANINGS OMG

Man gets so offended when people are like you have mysophobia then ends up roped into a get together.

Juwon trying to text a fake excuse to get out of the get together is so me because I have done that (its the anxiety for me)

Juwon is so awkward bless him.

“You’re supposed to stay glued to your partner all day, and know the colour of his underpants.” Dw Jihoon Juwon will learn ;)

Everyone clapping for Jinmuk and calling him the most important guy in manyang…

Juwon not liking his dad being brought up and Dongsik joking about it to diffuse the situation and also poke at Juwon

All important scenes happen when it rains.

Juwon quickly learns to not believe what dongsik says half the time XD

“I don’t want you to like me.” “It’s up to me to like someone or not.”

“Leave before you get caught.” What interesting phrasing Dongsik

Ah yes the Juwon and Hyeok brother dynamic. I find it interesting and think its an underrated Juwon relationship.

Hyeok trying be Han Kihwans son and Juwon is like “dont. Trust me.”

We mention Dongsiks wall of notes and stuff on the Yuyeon etc case but we dont talk about Juwons enough. Mf has two. Two fricken boards. One he makes in his closet (?) above his computer and the other next to his bed.

The! Score! Ugh im a lover

It takes a whole day to get to the reed field this time??? Cause he arrived in the morning (i assume) at the police station and then the sun is set by the time he gets there. I think he may have procrastinated bc of the mud or he actually arrived in the afternoon and the sun sets ridiculously early in late october?

Juwon getting jumpscared by Dongsik again XD

I love how this episode brings us full loop to the start of the episode but includes Juwon the second time to add fresh perspective and the aftermath.

Juwon’s step back and shaky hand is a give away that he knows her and Dongsik immediately picks up on it. Yet Dongsik tells Jihoon to leave knowing this must be a secret.

And Juwon doesn’t miss a beat when Dongsik says its a woman. They’re both one upping each other all the time

We give Juwon shit for constantly grabbing juwons collar/shirt but Dongsik did it first! (And it was hot because he smooths out Juwons shirt after) Juwon just copied and repeated.

And Dongsik quickly realises why Juwon is in Manyang and decides to just play with him and be a little shit.

Mate you guys are at the first ep and already in each other’s faces

Ok fin see you next episode ^^

[nero-vanderwolf]

Ryuji Sakamoto could tolerate a lot. 

He was often told he had anger issues, and he did when he was a kid, but since befriending Akira he had calmed down. Or, he liked to think he had. 

But this was the final straw- or whatever the English phrase was. He was too pissed to think about his English lessons. 

Morgana had insulted him one too many time- called him useless and stupid and a bunch of other shit that never failed to get under his skin and worm its way into his head. 

He had snapped, cussing Morgana out before storming off, down and out of LeBlanc and onto the streets of Yongen. Somehow, he ended up in the city, desperate to get as far away from the others as he could. 

He just needed to cool down- he had seen the way Futaba flinched away from him, the panic in Yusuke’s eyes when he started shouting. Even Ann had backed away a bit. He had scared them. He had scared his friends, the people he swore to himself to protect- 

“Sakamoto-kun?” 

Ryuji looked up from the ground, pausing his frantic pacing. “Okumura-senpai?” 

Haru Okumura stood in front of him, carrying a small white bag. Well, that explained what she was doing out so late. 

“What are you doing out at this hour, Sakamoto-kun?” Okumura-senpai asked, tilting her head slightly. Ryuji looked away- he couldn’t bring himself to meet her gaze. 

“Uh- takin’ a walk... And I toldja you can call me Ryuji, Okumura-senpai.” 

He didn’t have to look at her to know she was smiling. “And I told you that you can call me Haru.” 

“Uh- right. Sorry, Ok- Haru.” He scuffed his foot on the path, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His knee was effin’ killing him, the usual dull ache amplified into a sharp stabbing that only happened when he ran. He shouldn’t have run. 

“You never answered my question. Why are you out so late, Ryuji-kun?” Haru asked, her voice softer. His chest hurt. Why had he run? 

“...Had an argument. Lost my cool a bit ‘n stormed out,” he mumbled. He looked up to see Haru moving closer, resting her hands on his shoulders. 

“What was the argument about?” She asked. He sighed, letting himself relax. Haru wouldn’t judge him for what he said. He was safe with her. 

“It just- got too much, y’know? Mona kept effin’ talkin’ shit about me and everyone else just let ‘im! It’s like I’m nothin’ but a damn punching bag sometimes. I lost my shit and started yellin’ at Mona a bunch and ran away before anyone else could say anything. It was probably an asshole move, but I’m so tired of bein’ called a useless stupid monkey that I really don’t give a shit about that anymore.” 

He hadn’t realised how heated he was about the whole thing until he was allowed to talk about it- as soon as Haru asked, he couldn’t hold back from talking about it. 

Haru scowled. “Do you need me to speak with them?” She asked, her tone sending chills down Ryuji’s spine. He knew exactly what she meant- and it didn’t exactly entail a friendly chat over coffee. 

“No-! No, it’s-” He stopped himself mid-sentence, sighing. It wasn’t fine, not really. Even Ann’s lighthearted jokes about him being stupid ate at his self-esteem. It hurt, more than he cared to admit. “...come with me to talk to them later this week. I’ll, uh- text you when I’m ready.” 

Haru’s expression softened immediately, and she pulled him into a hug. Her arms were looped around his neck, his head resting on her shoulder. “Of course I will be there for you, Ryuji-kun. Just let me know when you’re ready, okay?” 

Ryuji nodded, hugging her back. “Yeah. Uh- thanks, Haru. You’re a good friend,” he mumbled. Was he crying? He couldn’t tell. He needed to get home soon or his ma would start to worry. 

“You ought to get home. Goodnight, Ryuji-kun.” Haru released him, a small smile on her face. Ryuji couldn’t help but grin back, his chest significantly less tight than before. 

“G’night, Haru.” 

That night, Ryuji checked his phone. Several missed calls, a bunch of unread text messages, and multiple new voicemails. 

He ignored them all, sleeping better than he had in a while. 

OMG ITS THE RYUJI RUNS AWAY INSTEAD OF MORGANA FIC LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO!!! as he deserves bc they do NOT treat him well for all the shit he does. i love haru and ryuji friendship... ough it would have been amazing if they had a showtime together. i love haru hearing someone was mean to her friends and doesnt pressure them on details and is just

im gonna need to speak with them...

[golddustedqueen]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

13! Tho one of them’s cowritten so maybe 12? Hopefully it’ll be up by one in a week or so tho~

2. what's your total Ao3 word count?

149,077 words! Probably like another ten thousand+ in wips

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it’s mostly Genshin, but I’ve written for BNHA and Black Butler before and plan to write more BNHA and break out into at least bsd and possibly Voltron?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Benedictions of the New Moon (E) (490)

Forever Mine Even Your Breath (E) (326)

Love Me Honey Like Ambrosia Wine (E) (300)

I Love You Most But I’m Not Worthy (E) (274)

When Wind Meets Grief and Divinity (E) (250)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yeah! I love interacting with readers! If i don’t then it’s usually that i saw it, meant to respond, and forgot😔 its the ADHD

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably When Wind Meets Grief And Divinity (E)? Forever Mine, Even Your Breath (E) is probably also pretty angsty, both are VERY dead dove do not eat so beware!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooh I dunno, I think maybeeee Its a Love Story (E)? I do think that ending is soooo cute! Oh and True Soul Bound To True Soul(T)!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I think I’ve gotten like one hate comment? Definitely have gotten some slightly annoying comments tho^^; readers pls, asking me to update does not make me go faster😭

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Smut is what I like writing the most! I love writing kinky queer smut, no one’s cis or straight in my fics

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don’t really tend to? Not on my own at least, I’ve cowritten/rp’d/brain rotted a few but never finished or published anything.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Gosh i hope not! If you see my fics anywhere but ao3 they’re likely stolen!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of but if anyone would ever want to do so id welcome it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah! Loads of times! Most aren’t published tho and likely will never be, you can find the singular published cowritten fic on my ao3! Black Butler: House of Gold

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oh man I have to pick???? I don’t think i can! But I definitely love writing xv the most so far!! Smth abt them gives me violent brainworms

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Probably this one firefighter xiao/single mom chem major venti au i have, its plotted out pretty heavily and its super cute buuut i dunno modern aus aren’t my favorite to write and I have so many other ideas, but who knows! Maybe ill get brain worms for it eventually!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Id say prooobably my descriptions??? And world building?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Repetitiveness for sure, tho i think im getting better at not repeating constantly

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think its a great idea!! I do it a bit in my fics, a word here and there with translations, and I think it helps like i dunno pull their culture in? Also I think sometimes the English version of certain words don’t have the same Impact yknow?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

…One Direction… i had like the beginnings of a whole fantasy au written out at one point and i had a sorta shadow hunters au started too

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Ooh thats a tough one!! I looove Benedictions of the New Moon (E) so much but i also love Treat Me Right (E) and Its A Love Story (E), those two are very much labors of love but i also think they’re really interesting!! Our Love Is Holy (E) is also one of my favs because it was the first time I wrote Venti the way I see her, a genderfluid transfemme! And it’s just so sappy even though its filthy

[redspex]

☎️FAQ☎️

Who am I? -> Ryan! I use he/him/his pronouns, trans and queer. 22. General interests are powerlifting/gym-going, cats, reading, DnD, being in a hammock, Garfield. English native speaker, moderately okay at German. Chicago based.

What’s the purpose of this blog? -> I’ve been dealing with TAPS for a while now, so this page will partly be about documenting my experiences with it. At the moment my career goals pertain to researching TAPS (I would specify what in particular about the condition I want to research, but so much about TAPS is unknown that it can feel hard to identify a starting point 😵‍💫); I was recently brought on by Fourcast as an intern, so that’s a very exciting step for me and I want to document my time with them! Will also throw in some non-TAPS/4CL posts as well.

TAPS? -> Temporal Alignment Permeation Syndrome. I’ll probably make a whole info post about this, but in extremely simplified terms, I get glimpses into alternate realities and futures. Some good, some bad, mostly while sleeping. It’s really a can of worms so keep your eyes peeled for more in-depth info later :).

Fourcast Lab? -> Yeah...Love-hate relationship with the 4CL. Doing good, yes, but also TAPS started popping off when they started messing with SPORE, so my feelings are mixed, to say the least. Not many other paths to take for researching TAPS except to head into the belly of the beast, so here I am.

Can I send in asks? -> Yes!! Very open to answering questions (as long as they’re polite!). I’m pretty open about my life with TAPS, so feel free to ask. Ask box is preferred over DMs (can’t promise I’ll read the latter, especially if it’s from people I don’t know).

Anything else? -> Page rules: be nice :)

[beantothemax]

Ryuji Sakamoto could tolerate a lot. 

He was often told he had anger issues, and he did when he was a kid, but since befriending Akira he had calmed down. Or, he liked to think he had. 

But this was the final straw- or whatever the English phrase was. He was too pissed to think about his English lessons. 

Morgana had insulted him one too many time- called him useless and stupid and a bunch of other shit that never failed to get under his skin and worm its way into his head. 

He had snapped, cussing Morgana out before storming off, down and out of LeBlanc and onto the streets of Yongen. Somehow, he ended up in the city, desperate to get as far away from the others as he could. 

He just needed to cool down- he had seen the way Futaba flinched away from him, the panic in Yusuke’s eyes when he started shouting. Even Ann had backed away a bit. He had scared them. He had scared his friends, the people he swore to himself to protect- 

“Sakamoto-kun?” 

Ryuji looked up from the ground, pausing his frantic pacing. “Okumura-senpai?” 

Haru Okumura stood in front of him, carrying a small white bag. Well, that explained what she was doing out so late. 

“What are you doing out at this hour, Sakamoto-kun?” Okumura-senpai asked, tilting her head slightly. Ryuji looked away- he couldn’t bring himself to meet her gaze. 

“Uh- takin’ a walk... And I toldja you can call me Ryuji, Okumura-senpai.” 

He didn’t have to look at her to know she was smiling. “And I told you that you can call me Haru.” 

“Uh- right. Sorry, Ok- Haru.” He scuffed his foot on the path, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His knee was effin’ killing him, the usual dull ache amplified into a sharp stabbing that only happened when he ran. He shouldn’t have run. 

“You never answered my question. Why are you out so late, Ryuji-kun?” Haru asked, her voice softer. His chest hurt. Why had he run? 

“...Had an argument. Lost my cool a bit ‘n stormed out,” he mumbled. He looked up to see Haru moving closer, resting her hands on his shoulders. 

“What was the argument about?” She asked. He sighed, letting himself relax. Haru wouldn’t judge him for what he said. He was safe with her. 

“It just- got too much, y’know? Mona kept effin’ talkin’ shit about me and everyone else just let ‘im! It’s like I’m nothin’ but a damn punching bag sometimes. I lost my shit and started yellin’ at Mona a bunch and ran away before anyone else could say anything. It was probably an asshole move, but I’m so tired of bein’ called a useless stupid monkey that I really don’t give a shit about that anymore.” 

He hadn’t realised how heated he was about the whole thing until he was allowed to talk about it- as soon as Haru asked, he couldn’t hold back from talking about it. 

Haru scowled. “Do you need me to speak with them?” She asked, her tone sending chills down Ryuji’s spine. He knew exactly what she meant- and it didn’t exactly entail a friendly chat over coffee. 

“No-! No, it’s-” He stopped himself mid-sentence, sighing. It wasn’t fine, not really. Even Ann’s lighthearted jokes about him being stupid ate at his self-esteem. It hurt, more than he cared to admit. “...come with me to talk to them later this week. I’ll, uh- text you when I’m ready.” 

Haru’s expression softened immediately, and she pulled him into a hug. Her arms were looped around his neck, his head resting on her shoulder. “Of course I will be there for you, Ryuji-kun. Just let me know when you’re ready, okay?” 

Ryuji nodded, hugging her back. “Yeah. Uh- thanks, Haru. You’re a good friend,” he mumbled. Was he crying? He couldn’t tell. He needed to get home soon or his ma would start to worry. 

“You ought to get home. Goodnight, Ryuji-kun.” Haru released him, a small smile on her face. Ryuji couldn’t help but grin back, his chest significantly less tight than before. 

“G’night, Haru.” 

That night, Ryuji checked his phone. Several missed calls, a bunch of unread text messages, and multiple new voicemails. 

He ignored them all, sleeping better than he had in a while. 

GRAAAAAAH!!!!! RUNNING AROUND REALLY REALLY FAST AND BITING ETC ETC ETC!!! THE FUCKIGN FREINDS!!!

[quillquiver]

On SPN, Burying Your Gays, and Being Heard

I am shaking, I feel sick, I feel like I’m insane. And did I run a little wild with the theories? You bet. But you know what didn’t help? The botched clusterfuck that was this entire goddamn finale debacle. How was I supposed to believe anything they said in panels when M&G dialogue would leak saying the exact opposite? How was I supposed to grieve and move on when there was nothing from the cast and crew? Nobody said anything! And any info leaked just destabilized what we already knew or directly contradicted what we’d been told. In light of that, how was I supposed to trust anything anyone said? One rogue translator reciprocated the love confession and I was practically sold, because there were so many questions surrounding the English text that this was something good, something that logically fit, and something I wanted to hold onto. 

Because they hurt me. This is about so much more than one episode or a ship; for years queer fans have seen ourselves in these characters and been told that we were crazy. That we were reading too much into it. I’m not sure how people get upset and offended when a storyline that doesn’t exist... doesn’t exist! said Guy Bee (2013). And then, after all of that, they turned around and said magnanimously, you have your version, I have mine... and that’s okay. But it’s not okay. It’s not okay, because that doesn’t erase what came before - that doesn’t erase the baiting and the gaslighting, and that invalidates everything we felt in the time leading up to that episode. It gave them an open window for all the subtext that came after. It allowed them to brush us off.

And then we got Cas’s love confession. I watched that scene about 500 times. Added to the rest of the season - to the fandom avatar being presented as successful and intelligent, to arc being the death of the author - I felt seen. Really seen, by a show that made it its mission to erase me. I had been okay with Cas dying at first because I had been sure the romance arc would carry through. I had been convinced that after everything, there was no way they would give that to us and then take it away.

But they did, because this is Supernatural. To anyone saying this is not bury your gays, I implore you to read up on the Hays Code. This link is to an amazing queer history podcast and the episode that covers it. In short, the Hays Code was a legal document that came about in 20th Century Hollywood during the puritanical war on the American entertainment industry,  and it stipulated what was not allowed on screen. Not all of it was queer - there’s a whole section about kissing - but what the Code is most remembered for is that queerness was not allowed on screen. But queer people are resilient, and so they started testing the waters... and it turned out that you could in fact code queerness into a narrative, as long as it was subtextual, or as long as the queer character died/was punished, or both. The point is that the character is not allowed to live their truth openly. They are buried, either in the ground or punished in the narrative. The former is normally what we refer to these days, because the latter just doesn’t really happen anymore.

Until Supernatural. 

Castiel is immediately punished for speaking his truth - and please don’t tell me he leveraged that punishment and so he had agency. Literally the only thing that could make him happy was confessing his feelings, and so the Empty deal was directly related to this idea of queerness-as-punishment. That being said, Bobo wrote a beautiful scene. Cas’s confession was a love letter to queerness and coming out... but everything that came after buried him. Castiel may have ended the series alive but he was effectively written out of the last two episodes, and that means that he actually never really got to live his truth. He was silenced by the narrative - that is punishment. 

Dean is a whole other can of worms. Does one rogue translator confirm canon bi!Dean? Or do we have to read our own version of the text? The fact that we even have to ask these questions firmly places us in the realm of queerbaiting. Were the writers trying to get bi!Dean approved but were unable to? I have no idea, but queerbaiting requires proof that the writers encouraged a reading they had no intent of following through on, and we certainly don’t lack in evidence of that. Not from this writers room, but from those of previous eras. Did these writers try? They might have, but the funny thing about queerbaiting discourse is that there has never been a show to bait this long, and I’m making the call that even if you tried at the end, you baited me with half the ship and all the years that came before. 

Of course, the narrative leaves open the possibility of bi!Dean so if you do read the show that way, that means Dean also falls into the bury your gays category; if you read the show this way - which many of us do - the mere suggestion that Dean Winchester was bisexual was enough to punish him. And he was punished. We’ve all written extensively on this, but he was given a random death, on a case his father never finished. All that growth, all that time spent having him accept himself, love himself, that was all taken away. He died the way he always thought he would: as a tool, in service of his father, protecting his brother. He had always believed he’d been a body to throw on the sword and in the end that’s all he was. And when he gets to Heaven? He’s also silenced. He barely speaks in the episode except to monologue during his death, and that is 100% Sam-centric. He is scared. 

It was horrific to watch. I sobbed so hard my roommate was seriously concerned. 

I had been fully prepared for Supernatural to end disappointingly. I had figured everything would end with a huge heaven reunion because white, straight, cis-male S&F writers love the idea of death as a reward, but instead of being disappointed I felt like I had witnessed a slaughter. Every single one of the queer themes intrinsic to the show: found family, resilience, speaking your truth... were gone. And I know we’ve talked about this too, but it bears repeating, because in doing this, in writing the queerness out of its narrative, Supernatural effectively looked every one of us queer folx in the eye and said: you are not important. You don’t matter. All of that stuff that came before is all good and well, but what really matters at the end of all things is blood family. It’s two brothers in a car. Life sucks but at least we get to die and go to paradise - real paradise, that your angel buddy died for and then made for you and who we never hear from again.

I felt insane. I felt cheated. I felt humiliated. I felt devastated. I still feel all those things, but listen to me. You have been heard. Not by Misha Collins, who is a great guy, but doesn’t get it. Not by Jensen Ackles, who is a similarly great guy, but also just doesn’t understand. And not by anyone else who worked on this show. 

You know who heard you? Me. The people who follow me. The people who follow you. We saw each other, and heard each other, and we gave each other a leg up. We made memes. We wrote fic. We drew fanart. We made gifs. All for ourselves and all for each other. We broke Tumblr multiple times. We donated over $60,000 USD to multiple different causes. We got multiple hashtags trending at multiple different points, and today kept it up because we demanded answers and then we got them. There were at least 5 articles written about the show today. We made that happen. We made people listen. 

Supernatural didn’t deserve me, and it didn’t deserve you. It didn’t deserve Dean. It didn’t deserve Cas. It didn’t deserve Misha and Jensen. But this show ended with a bleak, awful message and we turned around and showed them that love is loud. So what about all of this is real?

We are.

[cosmicgrapevine]

A Brief Guide to Demonology

One of the stereotypes of amateur sf/f writers is that they can fill a whole encyclopedia’s worth of information about races, magic systems, political factions, and the like, but get stopped cold when it comes time to write the actual story. Ergo, in the interests of this not happening to me I am trying to focus on function over form, and only expand the lore as much as I need to. (Breaking out of the whole “I love writing except for the writing part” mindset is crucial in general, but that’s a different discussion.) That said, gone are the days when you could just make up this stuff as you went, so:

The term ‘Demon’ itself is a bit ambiguous, and I’m not sure at this point where its outer boundaries are. If American English had a term closer to youkai or sidhe, I would use that instead. Nor are they quite Abrahamic in origin; they’re corporeal, possession works more like parasite-induced metamorphosis, and it is usually permanent. I feel they are close enough for the term to make sense. They can take over people (but can also be exorcised) they’re mostly evil, but they’re diverse enough for a more broad term to make sense.

The weakest form of demon is the Imp. In their natural form, these guys are tiny, slimy, pathetic little things (think Envy’s caterpillar-like form from FMA) who are nonetheless basically living petroleum jelly and very hard to kill or exterminate for good. While they can technically force themselves to stay in a sapient host, it’s much easier for both if the host agrees to be possessed; that said, ‘agrees’ is interpreted very loosely among imp-kind.

They search for willing hosts by sensing negative emotions in a potential host that they can worm their way in by exploiting or manipulating. At this point, either the host recognizes what is happening and forces the imp out, or they sink further into whatever emotions or memories the imp is messing with, and the possession continues apace.

For any non-sapient host, the ceiling for the Imp is becoming a Half Demon. Basically, a non-sapient mind can only house an imp for so long, and as the clock ticks down, the host begins to mutate unpredictably. Eventually it will die, and if the imp hasn’t escaped, it will die as well. Something like a pig, ape, or bear might last a month; most invertebrates would die within 24 hours. When imps engage in organized warfare (not often, up until my plot starts) they use such beings as the equivalent of suicide bombers or kamikaze flyers.

In human territory Imps often try to make animal hosts ‘more humanlike’, both biologically and psychologically, but don’t understand humanity very well and more often create shambling half-sapient abominations. Half Demons also can occur when an imp is not compatible with a host, or the host tries to force it out but the imp tries to cling on inside, or any number of other complications.

If it goes well, you end up with what is called a Full, Pure, or True Demon; a demon that has fully synthesized with its sentient host and can only be expelled by an exorcist. With the intelligence and strength of a human and the resourcefulness and malice of an imp, these make for terrifying foes, especially the ones who have found juuust the right host to bond with (yes, there’s a bit of Venom going on here). They augment their host’s body, making them stronger, tougher, and faster than before. Furthermore, they can pass as human easily, only occasionally needing to cough up a little black ooze in private. True Demons will burn out eventually too, but it can take years.

True Demons who have ascended to great power, held the same host for 10+ years, and/or command other demons are known as Master-Demons, but this is a social distinction, not a scientific one.

Some other notes:

-Individual imps don’t really have a ‘self’, and basically take on the identity of their host.

-As you can surmise, the ‘magic’ here is very biological in origin and aesthetic; this is deliberate, and is meant to contrast sharply with the more mystical, fae-inspired paranormal characters that will show up later.

-The King of Demons, insomuch as there is one, is a Master-Demon named George E. Scutari, who has formed an allegiance with the aforementioned fae, and is combining fae and demon magic, at scale, to terrifying effect. He is the ultimate pursuer of Lind in the early chapters, for a magical artifact he thinks Lind holds. I may soon do a Major Antagonists page in which he will be described in more detail.

[sallertiafabrica]

💖💖💖💖 and 👀👀👀👀

💖 What made you start writing?

strap up, this one’s gonna be long

I always loved stories, consuming and creating them. All of my dolls had their own names and backstories that I play over in my mind again and again as I basically just silently moved them around (I struggled to express myself, so when playing with other kids I’d just go along with whatever they went with). I only learned how to read when I was eight years old, and even then, it was a slow process from going from funny comics, to kids’ books (those very thin and with full-page illustrations), to those “Diary of a--” kinds to finally reading a book with more than 100 pages and no illustrations (a classmate chose to read The Selection for a school work and end up buying all the books so I asked if I could borrow it [I remember liking it at the time, but I don’t think I’ll ever revise it, lol. Still fond of it for being my first “real” book, tho).

After that I tried getting into writing it a few times, but it never stuck. I just couldn’t find a story I was interested in writing for more than a few pages and always end up forgetting about it. Fast-forward to the ending of 2019: I’m graduated from high school and just starting my gap year. To put my English into practice, I started sending letters to other English-speaking folk through an app (Slowly, it’s really good!), and the more I write, the more I fall in love with the process of it. One of my exchanges was with another writer, and reading him talking about his stories inspired me to open a writing app; 1k words of a draft for an original story get out! It was about a concept I had been turning around in my head for over a year and I remember being really proud if myself for it (sadly, it fell victim to impulsive deleting tho 😞). That concept didn’t go much further (I tried making an outline for that story and found out I’m not an outliner, lol), but this time, writing stuck and I still wanted to practice it. I started watching tons of writing videos, practicing quick scenes as warm ups and to see what I can do (those I still have it, but only an edited version of them), and when I reached the bottom of the felinette fics on the Ao3 tag but was still craving for more-- well, I decided to give a go to the fox!Félix concept that had been bouncing around in my head :P

��� Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Well, I’m trying to keep my focus on finishing Trickster, but the brain worms don’t care for focus and just keep knocking on my imagination’s window with ideas that range from oneshots to new AUs that I really don’t have the time to right now, BRAIN! But, as for an actual answer: a new Komi Félix oneshot about how he met Flora (it’s still in the “foggy idea” stage, but I’m thinking that they could’ve been childhood friends/acquaints, but while Flora remembers fondly of their friendship, Félix ended up dumping their time together with all the bad experiences he had while interacting with his peers and gets very freaked out when she greets him during one of their classes together), and there’s a whole chapter in my docs for a new felinette fic that I promised myself I won’t post before writing more for it (it’s pretty much Outside of my Comfort Zone territory and I’m kinda scared of ever sharing it djmddjmddimd).

[aching-tummies]

I'm not as good with words/scenario/description as your first RP-esque submission...but here goes. I want to finger your navel during that 24+hours of no food followed by feeding. Hungry, stuffed--don't care, just wanna force my finger(s) into your navel and enjoy the moans and groans both from your tum tum from you.

No worries! You don't have to be good at descriptive writing or anything to message me. Coherent/understandable English is preferred though.

Before responding to this in an RP-way I wanna say that I was actually doing what you described while writing the first RP-response. I was actually hungry when I wrote the first one and I actually pressed my thumb deep into my navel and felt the bumps of my intestines and whatnot within. I felt them vibrating with the rumbles. It was great ^^

I groan as I’m torn from the peaceful embrace of sleep by some sharp, rumbling ache. The first thing that registers is the weird texture on my teeth. I’m biting my pillow…but that only happens when I’m—a deep grumble cuts off that thought and I release the fabric from between my teeth.

“Ugh…just what do you think you’re doing?” My tone is sharp and it cuts through the silence of our bedroom like a knife. I’m not pleased at being woken up by induced hunger pangs. That’s what you’ve done…like how hospitals sometimes induce labor—you’ve induced the hollow cramps and snarling rumbles from my bowels.

Your hand lingers on my stomach, your fingers worming their way into my navel. Two of your fingers manage to wedge themselves in there and begin to pull apart, stretching the tight ring of flesh and triggering another painful rumble from my guts. I slap at your hands but that only succeeds in pushing your fingers deeper and I gasp as your thumb jabs into a sensitive area. It’s gotta be some nerve or a very sensitive part of my intestines based on the intense sensation. It’s sort of like the feeling of hitting your funny bone…there’s that cramping, almost unbearable sensation like something very raw got scraped. I feel the pain of the jab reverberating throughout my entire gut, the epicenter feeling like a throbbing wound. The ‘reverb’ triggers a cacophony of growls throughout my digestive tract. A deep, hollow, guttural snarl is squeezed from the area I am sure contains my actual stomach organ. My body attempts to curl in on itself again but the action crushes your hand deeper into my poor belly. Your thumb is pressed deep into my navel—so deep that you can feel my organs pulsating beneath your thumb. You wiggle your thumb around as much as you can, finding that it sort of ‘pops’ between either side of a rounded nub you can feel. Again, that’s either got to be some sort of nerve or a sensitive part of my intestines because the pressure of your thumb bumping against it and pressing hard into it sends my whole system cramping and twitching.

“Oww…ouch! Babe—stop it!” I slap at your hands again, pushing at them, trying to pry them away from my sensitive stomach and very tender navel. We had just done some navel stuff before retiring to bed and it’s still sore from our earlier bout of fun. Sharp objects were used, among other things, and the puckered skin at the base of my navel is still very raw from our earlier activities.

Your hands refuse to budge. You’ve managed to worm two fingers into my navel again. You feel around inside until you manage to pinch something between your fingers. I feel something akin to a bolt of lightening lancing through my stomach—starting at my navel and traveling lower. As the sensations die down I’m left with a less than pleasant pulling sensation in my navel. It feels like my intestines are being tugged on. It’s not a nice feeling and it causes me to grit my teeth and groan again.

“Ah…ow…ouch…ugh…b-babe…t-that really hurts. S…stop p-ul—aaah—lling…please? Ergh…ow…ouch!”

“I’m not pulling, love,” You rasp into my ear. The dull pain in my guts intensifies, causing me to cry out and tears to prickle my eyes. “I’m pinching.”

My empty tummy snarls and growls. It sounds like angry dogs snapping at an intruder—in this case, your probing fingers.

We didn’t just do navel stuff earlier. We decided to indulge in some hunger-kink tonight. A series of mishaps at work caused me to be called in early (skipped breakfast), have nobody to cover my lunch break (skipped lunch), and after I whined to you about how my day was craptacular and how hungry I was you had taken charge of the rest of the night. You picked me up from work, going out of your way to ensure that I would not stop somewhere to fill my ravenous stomach. You brought me straight home where you spent almost two hours experimenting with my navel, poking and prodding at it with different utensils. Surprisingly, we found that sharp, probing objects (like straightened out paper clips) were the most effective in drawing growls and grumbles from my stomach. You had such high hopes for the wax-play…but no dice. My best guess is that the heat quelled some of the clenching and tensing enough to dampen the growling. You allowed me to fill up on liquids…mostly water and tea. You poked and prodded and sloshed my neglected tummy and did a bunch of stuff that left my navel sore and aching for a long while. At some point, we found ourselves in bed and I drifted off while there was still enough liquid in my belly to trick my body into thinking it wasn’t ravenous.

“Ugh…whatever you’re doing, it’s annoying. Stop it.” None of my protests mean anything right now. We have agreed-upon safe-words and I haven’t used any of them. To be fair, my protests have a kernel of truth to them. My navel’s been used and abused all night and is very sore right now. If I were awake enough to use one of our safe-words I’d probably do so.

“Your tummy was loud. That was annoying. It woke me up.”

“And whose fault is that?” I snap. I can feel you grinning as you spoon me.

“Sienna, was it? The one that skipped out on their shift today. Caused you to miss two meals, didn’t she? I only caused you to miss one.” Your fingers continue to probe at my navel, stirring up my guts and awakening the hunger pangs that could have left me to slumber peacefully for another couple of hours.

A deep, segmented rumble drowns out my voice as I cry out sharply from the cramp that it brings. Just as well, I have no response to your terrible logic.

I roll onto my front and grit my teeth. You swapped fingers just as I rolled so now my tummy is basically impaled on your middle finger. You can feel my guts around your finger like fleshy cushioning while I feel a very solid and very painful intrusion jabbing into my intestines and causing the area to give a few aborted cramps—like some dying creature twitching out the last of its life.

I try to crawl away, pinning your arm beneath me as I hope to move away from it and leave it behind. Just as I get to the last knuckle, you crook your finger and basically hook it into my navel. I let out another exclamation of pain as I feel like a fish caught on a hook. You drag be back along the covers until I’m face-down, my belly in your lap. You stroke my back as my stomach rumbles deeply, vibrating against your thighs.

“Aww…is my little kitten hungry?”

I hiss at you and bite at your hand as it nears my head, settling on my hair and smoothing it down. You stroke at my back and sides and card your fingers through my hair with your other hand. I slowly untense and relax, reaching over to snag my pillow and bring it under my face. My stomach is still grumbling, but less intensely than it was earlier.

Just as I feel like everything has calmed to a point where I might be able to go back to sleep, you bounce your legs, the movements jostling my tummy. I groan as the nauseating hunger builds in intensity again. It’s going to be a long night.

[sa-tou]

Chapter 139 + ending opinion

Okay..where do I begin, I already wrote something yesterday but now having read the English typeset I have come to this conclusion regarding the ending of SNK. (It’s a long post, may have some typo’s, which I will try to fix while editing the post)

Disclaimer: Isayama has my respect, even if I may not agree on all points I want to thank him for years of hard work and bringing us a beautiful story, that being said his story is not immune to criticism and so I will write this with my fullest and honest opinion. (Do not send Isayama or any of the voice actors and anime production staff any hate, if you didn’t like the ending that’s fine! But do not harass anyone else because of it)

Here goes:

Chapter 139, what can I say, even after reading it in English I cannot seem to like it.

Why? First of all, Ymir’s love…oh god I dreaded writing this but, her love it’s not comparable to Mikasa’s, that’s why I am unable to link the two, but at the same time I don’t see them as very different characters either. Let me elaborate, Ymir was a slave who had her whole family killed by king Fritz, had her tongue cut out and was impregnated at a very young age because she has the power of the titans, Ymir falling in love with him is nothing short of Stockholm Sydrome. Sure Mikasa being able to kill Eren and end it, was something Ymir couldn’t do but WHY and WHEN was Ymir ever in love with King Fritz…back to Mikasa, she let go of Eren, but in the end she really didn’t (Eren wishing she’d never move on came true). Yes you can mourn your loved ones for how long you want but, why did Isayama have to put her in a position where she is always tied to Eren, she never had her own character growth, because when we thought she finally let go of Eren, she returns with the scarf and ends up crying at his grave for the last 3 years (kind sounds like how Ymir started off wandering alone in Paths no?) regardless the EreMika built up came out of nowhere and it was to sudden for me to actually believe any of it. Opinions may differ but, it’s lackluster and well, to me SNK was never about romance, so this whole romance subplot was meaningless and shat on every character who died in this manga.

What also irked me is, Reiner’s character. SUCH A GREAT character, so much build up, so much amazing storytelling and he ends up not dying, nor sacrificing himself, no instead he ends up sniffing Historia’s letter… I still like Reiner but, this development went straight down the trash bin.

Also Historia having a baby, but why? We’ll never know. She supported Eren’s rumbling plan, but why? We’ll never know. Paradis turned into a dictatorship with fascist leaders, but why? Fuck it I don’t give a fuck.

But what I do wonder is, is Armin this naive? Does he think nations will just sign a peace treaty? No way, geopolitical relationships don’t work like that, look at the real world, we are constant war because people can’t set aside difference, now people want to tell me that after Eren stomped on 80% of the world’s population, they want to just be at peace? I don’t think so, especially now that Eldians no longer have titan powers, have zero advanced technology in weapons..Makes no sense.

The worm…wtf was it, why was it there, who stopped it and where did it go? It had a mind of it’s own and even after Zeke and Eren dying it still kept going so my question is, what was the purpose of introducing this shit and then not to further elaborate on it? Why did everyone have to turn into titans for them to turn back into humans in no time? Why not just take the sad route and have every shifter die and have Ymir reborn as a free girl, because I thought Ymir was shackled to paths because she couldn’t be a free human, that’s why the rebirth theory sounded so plausible, but now all Ymir is, is a Stockholm syndrome patient who was waiting to…..what the hell even happened to Ymir? Where’d she go, why did she leave, what was her fucking purpose in the end. You want to tell me that she put so many people and teenagers under stress because King Fritz wanted more women than just Ymir? Jfc.

Now to Eren, so we know Eren was always a crybaby and never fully mature to do what he did, but what the fuck was this chapter? Sure he loves his friends and wants them to be save but, how did you go from “I know what I need to do and this is why I must start the rumbling” to, “I don’t man, just felt like it, I love Mikasa and you all so I don’t want to die but I don’t know Ymir wanted this and I don’t know what Ymir wants”, like did Yams stop remembering his own story here?

Regardless, Eren dying is a good thing, he could not and should not be redeemed for mass genocide, I think we can all agree on this. But my whole issue is, why put the warriors, especially Reiner, through so much shit, when you started the whole massacre on your own. One chapter was all it took to butcher Eren’s persona, then again he was never my favorite so I couldn’t care less about him.

Another point, he says he will give everyone their memories back once he dies, they will learn about his plan. Sure, but why do Mikasa and Levi experience this? Is this the cause of their headaches? I don’t get it, wasn’t the whole plot that Ackermanns under no circumstance could be mind manipulated…so how the fuck did Eren pull this off? It just took that subplot and flushed it down the toilet.

ZEKE, the only man with an actual plan and he died for no reason, just like Porco, Marcel, Ymir, Marco, Erwin, Hanji, Shadis, Colt, Magath and every other character that died for no reason.

The ending to me feels like a bad EreMikaMin fanfic, it just left so many plot holes untouched and now we are left wondering wtf all the other 137 chapters were for.

To end this post, up until chapter 132 I really really really liked the story, after that I feel like Isayama just wanted to finish the story and just did what the shippers wanted and finished the story in a wholesome way without really tying up any loose ends. It’s a shame but, it is what it is.

[realcube]

Karasuno and their love languages headcanons

tw// cussing, sexual references

Shoyo Hinata

his love language is physical touch

after every one of his games, the first thing he does when he sees you is tackles you to the ground in a hug 

the day he walks beside you without holding your hand is the he is kidnapped and replaced with a clone 

and he’d always place a kiss on the tip of your nose and vice versa before you went your separate ways on the walk home 

and one time he caught a flu and (because he loved you so much) he wouldn’t go within 10 feet of you for like a week 

and that was the hardest week of his life

he almost had a meltdown on day 3 

HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE WITHOUT HIS GOODBYE KISSES?!

but don’t worry because as soon as his flu subsided, he gave you enough hugs and kisses to compensate for the whole week he missed

Tobio Kageyama

his love language is word of affirmation 

honestly, whenever you compliment his volleyball skills (even if it sounds really amateur) it makes his heart go 💖💞💕💓

not that he’d even admit it though

and recently, he’s been trying to compliment you more because some how he came to the conclusion that he wasn’t being nice enough to you and that you’d leave him for Oikawa if he didn’t step up his game 

so whenever you mention one of your slight achievements to him, he goes insane with the praise 

“Oh, Kags. Did I tell you about the English test?”

“No, you didn’t.” 

“Well, I got a pretty good mark so don’t stress about it. It was an easy test but you should probably still study though-”

“A good mark? (Y/N), that’s amazing.” He said in a monotonous voice, making you snicker slightly. 

Although his flattery didn’t seem genuine, you still appreciated his efforts

At least he tries

he just wants to make you feel the way he does when you compliment him 🥺

Kei Tsukishima 

his love language is acts of service

to him, nothing says ‘i love you’ like helping him fold the laundry 

he does acts of service for you too, like helping you with your homework

or sometimes you help him with his homework

honestly, it didn’t take long for you to figure out this man’s love language considering he’d describe all the other things as ‘shallow’

(other than quality time)

“Seriously? I mean, I’d hate to be in a relationship that was based off of compliments. That shit gets tiring, y’know?” he’d gush to you while you both were buying the groceries 

and don’t even get him started when you make his lunch hhhhhhh

one time he went downstairs to see that you had already made him lunch and at first he thought it was sweet but no big deal so he just texted you 

‘Thx for the lunch btw’

but when he actually got a bite of your god-tier onigiri

he deadass almost got up and said 🚶‍♂️✌

anyway when he got home you got railed so <3

and by railed, i mean you heart got railed because he gave you a kiss on the forehead :3

Tadashi Yamaguchi 

his love language is words of affirmation

again, his heart goes brrrrr whenever you compliment him 

but it’s different depending on what you compliment him on 

when it is on his volleyball skills, he feels chuffed and not absolutely worthless

if it is has something to do with his facial appearance, he gets that warm tingly feeling inside and gets the urge to cuddle you - which he usually acts on 

but if it is a comment on his body..the unholy thoughts-

like on one hand, he wants to crawl into a hole and die

but on the other hand, he is like ‘is that so?’

anyway, he doesn’t act on either of those thing so he usually ends up making a comment about your height in response 

also, you make sure to shower this boy in compliments because he deserves it 

and he does the exact same right back at you because you deserve it too

but he is shy so he either writes a note to you in class or, more commonly, he ends up texting you after a date like 

‘omg I AM SO STUPID AAAAAAA..! I wanted to say this so bad while I was with you but i just couldn’t >< anyway i think you look so beautiful and your hair was absolutely gorgeous in that style, goodnight <3′

Ryunosuke Tanaka

his love language is quality time 

this man has no chill

if you text him like ‘omg i wish you were here bb 🥺’

my mans would be RUNNING WKDHWESAK

his personal motto is ‘get that bread, get that head, get that love and affection, get that attention, get that movie, stay the night, THEN LEAVE! PEACE OUT!’

his home his your home and your home is his home 

then there was that one time that he studied so hard on his tests, just so he could pass and hopefully get moved up into your class 

mission unsuccessful but he did get good grades ^^

Yuu Nishinoya 

his love language is receiving/giving gifts

which is really hard coz y’all are poor lol 

jk jk 

but anyway, sometimes you find a cool rock on the ground and then give it to him like “this rock reminded me of you..”

and honestly, he thinks that his is the cutest thing ever

he has a display on his windowsill in his room of all the rocks you’ve given him ever

and sometimes he’ll catch an insect, put it in a container or a plastic bag and give it to you like “it reminded me of you!”

then he hands you a tub filled with worms lmao 

it’s the thought that counts

Asahi Azumane

his love language is physical touch

contrary to popular belief - it is not words of affirmation

he likes compliments and feeling worthy as much as the next person  but..

sometimes it makes him kinda flustered and self-conscious 

anyway, he thinks that actions speak louder than words

before a game, rather than verbally encouraging him, he prefers it when you play with his fingers or give him a massage 

that relaxes him ten times more than words ever could

 and he might not act like it in front of his friends - but he spends most of his day looking forward to 9 o’clock when y’all can both be together and cuddle in bed ^^

also, before a big game you make it your mission to wake up especially early , find Asahi and do his hair 

firstly, you do it better than he ever could 

secondly, the feeling of your fingers gently massaging his scalp and lacing his hair in between them just made him so calm

and in those moments he would just look up at you with admiration in his eyes and wonder what he ever did to deserve you

Koshi Sugawara 

his love language is quality time 

this man actually gets physical withdrawal symptoms when he is away from you for too long 

and his teammates know symptoms off by heart and the order they appear in so they can identify when Suga is going through YNWF (  Y/N withdrawal fever ):

The first sign of YNWF; excessive lip biting, lip dryness and generally poor lip condition - this is due to the fact that (Y/N) is the one that always reminds Suga to put on lip balm

The second sign of YNWF; becoming lenient and overly nice to the first years - since (Y/N) isn’t here, he has nobody to be nice to. So he is nice to the children.

The third phase of YNWF - and probably the most dangerous; mood swings. He goes from fanon to canon Suga real quick. 

The fourth and final phase of YNWF; denial. 

“No! I don’t miss (Y/N)! I am doing just fine without them.”

Then his teammates force him to facetime you and then he is cured.

Daichi Sawamura

his love language is physical touch 

every second he spends with you, he has his hands on you

not always in a sexual way, ofc

and he’ll immediately back off if you are even slightly uncomfortable with it 

but he just loves he feeling of having you close to him 

it makes him feel like he is protecting you (especially in front of Tanaka)

(’tanaka, nice kill!’)

and when he cuddles you to his chest, not only does it warm you up, but you also feel like you’re making him feel big and strong (which you are), so that makes you happy

also, Daichi will lend you ever single jumper/jersey/jacket he owns if you even shiver within a 10 metre radius of him

Chikara Ennoshita

his love language is quality time 

y’all don’t even need to be talking or even interacting 

as long as he is in the same room as you, he is chill

(Narita and Kinoshita are also quality time kinda guys because it is not like they get any quality time in the actual anime smh)

[everythingsouthasian]

My Liberation Notes E2 Climax

I think that episode 2 climax has become kind of a hit with the fandom, but I didn’t get it. “You’ll have nothing to do in the winter, so worship me” is such an... odd phrase/request to put forth. I have a terrible problem with her wording, or at least the way it’s translated. I guess primarily because I associate worship with anything “godly” and transcending humanity, so I am unable to fathom why Mi-jeong feels like she deserves God-status? And I think this has less to do with the translation, because in the following scene, they display the English synonyms of the Hangul term as “revere, respect, worship”. She perhaps meant she wanted him to respect her, because she was tired of people at work treating her like shit?

I don’t know, the “worship me” phrase makes absolutely 0 sense to me in the context of Mi-jeong’s character (whom we anyway know so little about thus far). I know that she’s looking for an earnest and profound relationship at this point (hence the multiple arsehole boyfriends’ reference), but she could probably have used something more pertinent like “be my best friend” or “let’s get to know each other” or “be my 3AM friend” or, Greys Anatomy fandom will get this reference, “be my person”; anything but “worship me” would make sense to me. The way she uses the phrase, or how it is inserted (and repeated about a zillion times in the span of 2 minutes), kind of ruins the entire scene for me, truth be told. I wish they’d had better dialgoues there, because that does seem to be an incredibly important scene between a possibly canon couple.

And don’t even get me started on all the negative connotations of “I need to feel whole for once” follow up to the “worship me” line. I mean, here we are in the 21st century, advocating to not be dependent on others to fulfill us, hence, that is a whole new can of worms I do not wish to open right now. For now, “worship me” makes for a terrible catchphrase.

/endrant

[pietropatrol]

Păpuşă (Part 3)

Read Part 1 Part 2

A/N: Fic Friday is back! 

Pietro Maximoff liked to get on your nerves and he was good at it because you were annoyed simply at his mere presence. Now Steve has sent the pair of you on an undercover mission as husband and wife. But the mission may have been more complicated then intended, for more than one reason.

Pairing: Pietro x Reader Warnings: language, angst, kidnap Words: 1,800

3 years ago

Pietro Maximoff was accustomed to attractive women, but something felt different about the one who glided across his line of sight. Y/H/C peaked out from your winter hat, tendrils framing your face. A look of ease in your eyes as you changed direction in a split second, weaving in and out of other not so graceful skaters.

"Piet," the voice of his twin sister pulling his eyes away from you. Wanda struggled to stay upright on the ice.

"You know, for someone with superpowers, you can't skate to save your life." Pietro closed the few feet between them and steadied her. She narrowed his eyes at him.

"And you can?"

"I can at least stand, dear sister. Where did Vision go?" Pietro took her hands and pulled her with him around the rink.

"To get hot chocolate, I'm afraid the line is probably long. He's already been gone for ten minutes."

"He'll be fine, he is the most patient of us all." He reassured Wanda in their native tongue.

You skated into his vision once again, accelerating across open space before throwing yourself into the air and landing perfectly on one foot.

Pietro halted and Wanda stumbled back into you.

You quickly caught her and flashed her a sheepish smile. "Sorry, didn't mean to invade your space. I get carried away on the ice."

"No, no. It was my idiot brother's fault, he should be the one to apologize." Wanda gave Pietro a withering look.

Your Y/E/C landed on the speedster for the first time and a small breath caught in your throat. The smirk that seemed to be at home on his face invited you in as he regarded you with intrigue.

"I'm Wanda, and this is Pietro." Wanda stepped to the side to allow Pietro into the conversation, leaving the space in between the pair of you open. He offered out his hand.

"I'm Y/N." You took it, his hand engulfing your own.

“It is… nice to me you, Y/N.” Your name rolling off his tongue sent a thrill through you.

“Hot chocolate?” Vision floated into the group, balancing 3 Styrofoam cups in hand. You recognized the android.

Adrenaline shot through you when you realized who the siblings were associated with. You had been careless coming to New York City. The Avengers had been beginning to target your assignment when you had escaped. They must have known you worked for the Rambovas. Now they were here to get you.

“Long line?” Wand inquired as she plucked the cup from the top.

“I probably could have gone to your favorite coffee shop on the other side of town and it would have been quicker.” Vision passed another cup to Pietro. Vision’s attention turned to you, literally frozen on the spot. You had iced yourself into the skates and onto the rink. “Um, sorry, my apologies. I’m Vision.” He gave an awkward wave.

“I-I ha-have to go.” Maybe they weren’t here for you, but you weren’t going to stick around to find out. There was a loud shatter as you yanked yourself of the rink, cracking the ice around you.

“Wait!“ Pietro made to dart after you, but Wanda held him back. She looked from the fractured ice to Vision.

“That’s not normal.”

Vision frowned. “Indeed, we will bring it up with the team as soon as we get back. We should be able to track her down.”

****

Now

A neat stack of books on your desk by the same author piqued Pietro’s interest. The spines were cracked and frayed like you had read them a million times. Pietro knew you liked to read, but he had never seen you read this series.

He glanced behind his shoulder to your sleeping form, counting your deep breaths to make sure you were not pretending to get out having to explain your past to Pietro. He had pushed you for more information, but you insisted you needed to sleep off whatever they had injected the pair of you with.

“I have nothing else better to do,” he murmured to himself. Pietro grabbed the book off the top, he knew you would have put them in order. The memory of you moving into his room and meticulously organizing your bookshelf was bittersweet. You had trusted him completely and the way you openly adored him made his stomach churn with regret. The past year had only been scowls and annoyance. But it was an improvement from your empty eyes.  

Pietro sat on the floor in a corner of the room, keeping you in his line of sight. With a heavy sigh at yours and his predicament, he opened the book to try and not think about it for the time being.

It was an easy read, even for Pietro whose English reading skills still weren’t the greatest. The books seemed to be written for young teen girls, that was what he could glean from the first few chapters. The main character was a 16-year-old girl pulled into a world of teens with special abilities being used as spies. The fifth chapter had him physically pause.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” he traced your name with his finger, trying to make sense of it. Your name was a character in the book. He read further. She was a 16-year-old, experienced spy for the Government, abilities she would not disclose, and closed off to the main character. Suspicion wormed into Pietro’s brain. What was the likelihood you coincidently shared a name with a character in the book who was almost the equivalent of your real life? You weren’t closed off, at least when you and Pietro were speaking terms, and he was very much aware of your abilities. From both a positive and negative receiving end. But you had abilities and worked for someone before the Avengers. Was Y/N even your name? Why had you never told him about any of this?

The suspicion only grew the more he read on. Personality-wise, as Pietro knew you, you didn’t share much in common with the character. But stylistically as she was described and some of her common phrases were too familiar.

You began to stir, still feeling a slight numbness from the sedative. A groan escaped your lips as you pushed yourself up, they had not been gentle transporting your body.

“Piet…ro?” You silently cussed yourself out for almost using his pet name, but not seeing him upon waking up stoked a level of concern you had suppressed.

“Down here.” His tone was flat and clipped. You looked over to the corner of your room by your closet. He met your eyes with a level gaze and he frowned at you. “Care to explain something to me?” He held up a book, his thumb holding his place in the book. He had already read about half of it.

Dread washed over you, but you kept a calm demeanor. “My favorite book as a kid? What about it?”

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N. If that’s even your name.” He dog eared his page, you had to stop from yelling at him for doing that, because that was not an argument he would want to entertain. Pietro’s eyes had narrowed in on you and he was going to focus on what he wanted to.

“Y/N is my name. It’s the only name I’ve known.” That wasn’t a lie.

“You’re omitting, omitting is lying, remember?” Pietro used your own words against you. Goddammit, sometimes he was too good at reading you.

“Oh, I remember. You want to bring that up, right now?” You rose an eyebrow, you didn’t want to bring it up either, but if it distracted from the line of questioning you would stomach it.

“Something tells me you have been hiding something bigger since I met you on day one.” He threw the book back on your desk and closed the distance between you.

“Bigger than you sticking your—” You started to snark.  

“Y/N! I am not having this conversation again. I’ve profusely apologized for it and admitted my mistake. We’re talking about you, not me, right now.”

“I don’t know what you want to know!”

Pietro threw his arms up and gestured wildly around the room. “Everything! What have you not told me? What have you not told the team?”

“I didn’t think it mattered!” You defended yourself.

“Didn’t think it mattered? It got us captured. You said you went to boarding school.”

“Technically it is a school and everyone boards here at one point or another.”

“Wow, so I get my ass chewed out by you for omitting, but this whole time y—” Pietro was interrupted by the beeping of your door.

You tensed as Moreau stepped into the room. “Trouble in paradise?” He smirked at you. “You didn’t tell your poor hubby about your accomplishments here at the academy? You’re not ashamed of your family, now are you?”

“You are not my family,” you hissed.

“Tsk-tsk, that’s not a nice thing to say. We grew up together.” Moreau tossed a bag of clothes at you. “Get changed, both of you. The Baroness would like to meet you, Mr. Maximoff.”

Moreau turned on his heel to leave but paused in the doorway. “You better hope she’s in a good mood.”

He just the door, leaving a small crack and you pulled Pietro to you. Your lips hovering near his.

“Y/N, what are—”

“Sh,” you whispered as quiet as you possibly could, “Moreau is probably listening in, possibly spying. Go along with whatever I say from now on. We are married, we met when you were still with Hydra undergoing experimentation, you proposed at the Rockefeller center when we were ice skating—”

“That’s where we met—”

“I know, I know, just…trust me. Okay? Can you do that? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You don’t?” A small smirk appeared on his.

“Not the right time. Do you trust me?”

“I always have until now. But yes,” he nodded and gently kissed you. “We got married on my parents’ anniversary, October twenty-third, in Central Park with just the team around. The leaves were changing, the air was crisp, and you looked beautiful in your dress, sexy even. Goosebumps covered your skin, not from your exposed back and cold, of course, but from the rush of getting to marry me—”

“Slightly smug, but I will let it pass,” you murmured, “Continue?”

“We held a dinner at that hipster Biergarten you love, drank hot apple cider mixed with whiskey, and instead of wedding cake, we had donuts. As we danced, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have married a woman as beautiful, smart, and cunning as you.”

You sucked in a shaky breath; his words had brought life to a film in your head. Pietro had thought about this before, and it hurt that it had never gotten to be his reality.  

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