#don’t be like sad beige babies

[luvingsolace]

“Tsats is so cringe🤬🤬” are y’all fine pjo has been cringe those books are for middle schoolers

[queen-esther]

Why does everyone have a black, white, or grey car? How did the car market get to where only the most boring colors are widespread? Is everyone just allergic to fun now?

[aurorawritestoescape]

FLASHER

Pairing: flasher!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: you take an elevator with a stranger. He surprises you. Then you surprise him.

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, non-con due to exhibitionism but reader is into it, flashing, mutual masturbation, sweet Joel, it’s basically a meet cute😅, semi-public (no one sees them), pet names ‘baby’, ‘sweetheart’, swearing

Word count: 2k

A/n: I blame Pedro’s curls for this! And that coat😵‍💫

MASTERLIST

******

You’re rushing through the streets maneuvering around gray puddles. The rain is so heavy that your umbrella barely helps. You see your building and breathe out with relief. Soon you’ll be in the warmth of your home.

You close the dripping umbrella, unlock the entrance door and get inside from the wet street and into the darkness of the hall. You can’t wait to take your damp clothes off so you run up a short set of stairs and hurry to the elevator. With a bag in one hand and the umbrella in the other you push the button with your elbow and wait shifting on your feet with impatience. You look up at the display over the entrance - …6,5,4,3,2,1.

Finally you hear the cabin stop on the ground floor and the doors slide open. You’re about to get inside when you see him. A man is standing in the corner of the small dimly lit cabin facing you. He’s wearing a beige trench coat and wide dark blue pants. His hands stuffed into the coat pockets. But you notice all of that later. The first thing you see are his eyes, sad and beautiful. Dark and pleading. Then his hair. All curls and softness. Some locks are sticking to his forehead which must be wet because of the rain. You’ve never seen him in your building before, you’re sure of it. You’d remember someone that handsome.

“Hello,” you greet him quietly and wait for him to get out but when he doesn’t move for a few moments you quickly step inside. The elevator doors close behind you, you press the number of your floor and the cabin starts moving up.

The stranger is looking at you with his kicked puppy eyes and you give him a warm smile. He smiles back shyly and slowly opens his coat. You see a white shirt underneath, which looks too big on him. Your gaze slides down his body and you see his cock. The band of his pants is tucked under his balls and his whole dick is out. Your jaw drops and you blink quickly staring at his member. His cock twitches and it looks like the fat tip nods at you. It’s semi hard, quite big, and, you have to admit, very pretty.

You raise your eyes to the man’s face as your mouth opens and closes silently. You should be scared, should cry for help, shout at him at least but for some weird reason you don’t. You want to ask what’s wrong. Help him. Touch him.

“Do you need help?” you ask and he shakes his head with an apologetic smile and mumbles, “Just wanna show you my penis.”

Your heart flutters hearing his voice, deep, velvety and warm.

“Ok,” you mutter, not knowing what else to say or do. You’ve always been bad at small talk and especially now you feel lost for words with a cock of a stranger in front of you. The nature of the situation makes it all feel like a dream. But it’s far from a nightmare. You don’t feel scared, you feel…

Aroused? Attracted to this man?

He’s the one who started it so you do what comes to your mind first. Your hand darts to the elevator panel and you push the stop button. The cabin jerks and stops moving and the lighting inside gets even darker.

“Can I touch it?” the question flies out of your mouth unexpectedly and it seems to flabbergast you both. The man’s expression mimics yours just from a short time ago, mouth agape, eyes widened in surprise as they dart between you and the doors.

He mumbles, “‘msorry,” and closes his coat covering his crotch.

“No, no, you can leave it. I’m not scared,” you raise your hands still occupied with the bag and the umbrella.

He furrows his brows.

“Why?” He sounds almost offended.

“Because… ehm,” you try to give him an explanation, but fail. Why are you not scared?

“I don’t know,” you give him an honest answer and add, “are you dangerous?”

He blinks at you a few times. “No,” he replies quietly as his hands fall at his sides. His cock peeks out from behind the coat again and it looks less hard which makes you sad.

“Well.. Can I touch it?” you repeat the question and his brows shoot up.

“Why?”

You shrug your shoulders and a corner of his mouth quirks up before he comments, “You’re weird.”

“Yeah, well, you’re the one who flashed me a minute ago so we’re both kinda out of the ordinary, right?” you quip and your answer seems to amuse him. His gaze trails down your body and then slides up pausing at your lips.

As soon as he says “yes” you place your bag and umbrella on the floor and step up to the man. The beauty of his features takes your breath away when you get closer and you bite your lip lost for a second in his doe-eyes. He opens his coat a little wider and you both look down at his cock. It stands at attention and you shift on your feet as your pussy starts aching with need.

After taking a deep breath you bring your hand to his crotch and take the shaft between your index finger and the thumb. The velvet softness of his skin almost makes you whimper. You check his reaction and see his lips parted and half lidded eyes glued to your hand on his cock.

Wanting more you carefully wrap your palm around it and hold it gently rubbing your thumb along his length.

It’s warm and heavy in your hand.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he breathes out and his moan makes you gush.

“Can I stroke it?” you ask, batting your lashes at him though judging by his blown eyes you can easily predict his answer.

He nods and whispers, “yes.”

Your hand leaves his cock as you bring it to your lips. You gather some saliva in your mouth and spit it into your palm. Then you take his hard cock in your hand again and start jerking it.

He’s watching your hand move easily against his length and a drop of precum beads at the red slit. He moans again and leans back against the wall closing his eyes shut,

“Yes, baby…like this.. Fuck…you’re amazing.”

You smile with satisfaction watching his handsome face contort in ecstasy.

Your core tightens just from looking at him, touching him and you press your thighs together searching for a crumb of pressure.

He opens his eyes as if sensing how desperate you’re getting and you hear through heavy breathing,

“May I touch you too?”

A blush peeks from behind his scruffy beard.

You’re blinking at him for some time while your hand is working his cock and then give him a short nod.

“Come here, sweetheart,” he takes your forearms in his hands and pulls you gently to the side, making you exchange places with him. Now your back is pressed to the wall and he’s caging you in with his size. You feel so much smaller against him now but a light pang of fear turns you on even more.

His gaze takes in your body, hunger swimming in his dark eyes. The man brings his hand to your crotch and takes the zipper pull between his thick fingers.

“You sure?”

You’re surprised that he needs so many conformations of your consent as if he didn’t flash you just a few minutes ago. You don’t say anything though, just nod.

He braces one hand on the wall near your head and with the other opens up your jeans. His breath on your cheek makes you shiver. You look up at his lips but stop yourself. Kissing feels too intimate right now. So you swallow your desire and drop your head.

The stranger flattens his hand, palm pressed to your lower stomach, mumbling “gonna put my hand into your panties now, ok?” When you reply with a breathy “yes” he slides his big hand into your soaked underwear and engulfs your whole pussy. You whimper at his touch and buck your hips into his palm. When two of his fingers push in between your folds you moan closing your eyes and barely breathing.

“Oh, baby,” he moans as his index and middle finger nudge at your slicked up entrance. He slides them up bringing the wetness to your hardening clit and starts rubbing it in tight circles. You feel you might melt under his caress and join the rain puddle from your umbrella on the floor.

You lick your palm to coat it in saliva and return it to his cock. You proceed by jerking his length, twisting your hand and sweeping your thumb over his bulbous head. His and your moans fill the small space of the elevator. You’re sure that someone might hear you from the hall but you don’t care.

His fingers find your hole again and he inserts them inside you slowly parting your walls and watching your reaction with blown eyes. He leans down, his forehead rests against yours and your noses brush as you grab the sleeve of his coat.

“It’s so warm and wet, baby…wish I could stick my cock inside you.” His words make you whine louder and you speed up your hand movements as he begins fucking you with his thick fingers. Your pussy aches pleasantly at the stretch. You both find your rhythm and give pleasure to each other with delirious generosity.

You feel a knot tightening in your core as the pads of his fingers massage your sweet spot. You squeeze your eyes shut feeling your climax approach fast. “Gonna come,” you whine and after a few moments you come undone, contracting around his thick fingers. Your legs tremble and you might fall but he wraps his arm around your waist and pins you to the wall not letting you collapse.

When your climax subsides you return your full attention to his cock and move your hand against him vigorously. The head brushes against your lower belly smearing precum over your skin.

With one arm still wrapped around you, he grabs a fist full of your hair with his free hand and gently pulls at it tilting your head back. Your neck is exposed to him and his lips latch onto your delicate skin, kissing, sucking and nipping at it.

He moans against the column of your neck and the next moment you feel warm spurts of cum landing on your belly. You jerk him off through his orgasm milking his cock until the last drop.

You both are panting heavily when his forehead finds yours again and you rest for a few moments, eyes closed trying to catch your breath.

When the aftershocks pass he straightens up and you smile at each other. He tucks his cock back and takes out a handkerchief out of his pocket. He gently cleans his spend off your belly and you watch him marveling at how gentle he is. When he’s done you zip up your pants and fix your clothes. He picks up your things off the floor and hands them to you before pressing the number of your floor again. The cabin starts moving and you look at each other as the pleasure is still coursing through your body.

When the doors slide open his expression changes - his sad eyes return and he’s shifting his jaw.

“Can we meet again?” he asks hurriedly, taking your wrist in his hand. You drop your head and smile shuffling your feet. Then you lock eyes again and you tell him the number of your apartment. His face brightens which warms your heart and ignites your core again. You step out of the elevator and turn back to say “bye”.

“See you, sweetheart,” he says as you give each other one more warm smile before he pushes the ground floor button and the doors close.

*****

Thank you for reading!💕

Comments and reblogs will make me very happy!💖

Tag list: @missannwinchester @milla-frenchy @harriedandharassed @bbyanarchist @nervousmumbling

[nctsplug02]

johnny + sexting/videocalling when he's away on tour?? 🤒🤒🤒

Happy Thanksgiving! j.suh

GENRES: fluff, smut, phone sex, idol x non-celeb fem reader!

WARNINGS: phone sex.

the dinner you cooked an hour and a half ago was getting colder and colder by the minute but you were too drunk to even eat what you’d made.

wine and cooking dinner did not mix well, especially when you’re a light weight!

RING RING!

you lift your head off the counter and scrub your face with a sigh. “what time is it?”

you reach and grab your phone, hitting the green button. “hello?” silence. “hello?” you look at the screen with barely open eyes. “oh, oops.” you giggle to yourself and swipe the screen until it shows you’ve picked up.

“yes, hello?” you put the speaker to your ear and rub your eyes.

“baby!” you wince and yank the phone away from your ear. “shit!” you hiss and rub your ear, looking at the screen to see your husband with his face up close.

it was a facetime call not an actual call.

“hellooo,” johnny says into the mic. “did i wake you up?” he pulls his face away and raises an eyebrow.

“just a little bit. i closed my eyes for five minutes… that’s all.” you smile and set your phone down against the bottle of wine.

“what were you doing before you knocked out?” you giggle and shake your head. “alright, i didn’t knock out. i only closed my eyes for a good five minute, i swear. but, i did a little bit of cooking and had a few glasses of wine while waiting for your call.”

johnny rests his phone on something and sits back on the beige couch. “what about you, handsome? finished with the concert, i see.” you rub the running mascara from under your eyes.

“mhm, i just got out of the shower. couldn’t stop thinking about you. i’m sorry i can’t be there for thanksgiving, my love.” johnny manspreads and sighs with a pout.

“i—it’s fine, baby.” you clear your throat and move your eyes back to johnnys face. “i’m just thankful that you’re with me spiritually and virtually.”

“spiritually?” johnny chuckles in a confusing tone. “yes, although you’re not here physically, i can feel your presence all around the house.”

“you sure it ain’t a ghost, baby?” johnny laughs when your face changes into a grumpy one. “shut up, don’t scare me like that!” you look around and hug yourself.

johnny laughs while shaking his head, his hand rubbing his jaw. “i was just kidding, my love.”

KNOCK KNOCK!

“room service,” johnny sits up. “looks like my dinner’s here.” he leaves the frame for a good two minutes before coming back.

you watch as johnny sets up the coffee table in front of him. “what’d you order for dinner, babe?” johnny pulls the top cover and reveals a juicy, thick steak. “steak,” he sets the top cover aside. “mashed potatoes and roasted, salted green beans on the side. all that topped off with some red wine.”

you moan and grab your phone, twirling yourself around hopping off the stool. “i wanna show you what i made for thanksgiving.”

“ouu, yeah! i’m excited and a bit sad to see what i’m missing out.” you giggle and walk towards the stove. “it’s really nothing. but, i didn’t want to cook a whole turkey since it’s just me so, i decided to go for something we usually don’t cook for thanksgiving.”

you reveal what’s sitting in your pot and johnny let’s out a horrified gasp. “what?! does it look bad?!” you turn the camera back to you.

“no, baby! i’m just… you cook seafood while i’m gone?!” you laugh and bite the tip of your finger. “well, i didn’t want turkey and mashed potatoes so, i went with what i was craving.”

“ugh, you’re gonna have to make that again but when i get back, please.” johnny groans. “i promise, baby.”

you put the top cover back on the pot and you go back to the stool. “i just brought a plate over to miss hapkins next door. she was telling me a few weeks ago that since her family wouldn’t be able to travel to her, she wasn’t going to do thanksgiving.”

johnny coos at you and tilts his head. “that’s what i love about you, baby. you’re so kindhearted and caring. i love that you decided to include miss hapkins in our thanksgiving.”

“but, now i really don’t wanna eat my steak anymore.” johnny chuckles and sighs. “i miss your cooking, babe.”

“it’s just two more weeks, john. just two more and then home meals are back.” you pick up your wine glass and the wine bottle. “just like you, i’m also having red wine.”

“1869?” you hum and set the bottle down after pouring it near the rim. “you bought that without me?” he whines and you just laugh. “i was gonna save it but… hey, i deserve a treat sometimes too.”

“of course you do, baby. always.” johnny actually picks up his fork and steak knife, cutting off a sliver of the juicy meat.

johnny holds up his piece and tilts his head so he’s in frame. “happy thanksgiving, my love.” he says.

“yes, happy thanksgiving, baby.” you hold up your wine glass, clinking the glass on your phone before taking a sip.

the sweet, rich taste of red wine melting down your throat.

“mmm,” you smack your lips and set your wine glass down. “how’s the steak, baby?” johnny nods with long hums, his eyes shutting as he takes in all the flavors. “it’s perfect. it’s juicy, flavorful, thick but melts on your tongue—mmm,” johnny sighs and cuts himself another piece.

you grab your phone, glass of wine, bottle of wine and you head to the living room.

“although,” you hum. “i prefer the way you make our steak over this.” you giggle and seat yourself on the love sack, setting the bottle of wine on the ground.

you hold up your glass again. “two more weeks, john. we can wait it out.” you take a sip.

johnny groans, “you know what else is in two more weeks?” you hum and ask, what. “your ovulation week.” your cheeks heat up. “once i get home, i’m not holding back, baby.” johnny shoves the meat into his mouth and chews.

“i am not drunk enough for this.” you laugh and shake your head. “what, you don’t wanna have a baby with me?”

“i’d love to have your baby but… i want to right now.” you could feel your panties dampen.

the thought of johnny fucking you full of his baby got you off. him going at you so many rounds that your swollen cunt is oozing out his cum. his slender fingers pushing his cum back in while whispering to you that there was no such thing as wasting good stuff.

“aw, baby.” johnny coos and sets down his knife and fork with a thud. “but, just like you said, two more weeks.”

you roll your eyes and chug the rest of your wine. “babe, you don’t even know how wet i am right now. i’m literally dripping all over our love sack.”

“i don’t believe you,” johnny sits back and groans. “how can i prove it to you?”

you knew exactly how johnny wanted you to prove it and you were trapping yourself in it.

“show me your pretty pussy and let me be the judge of how wet you are.” you bite your lip, eyes moving down to his now visible bulge. “my eyes are up, baby.” you giggle and move your eyes up.

“c’mon, take off your pants and show me how wet i make you.”

the tone of his voice is like a spell, your shorts and panties are pooled on the ground and your body is twisted in a way where johnny can see your pussy.

“fuck, y/n.” johnny growls lowly and cries out. “i wish i was home right now. i’d take you so hard on that love sack.”

“move yourself to the couch and put your phone down, baby. prop it up with the candles on the coffee table.” you listen to johnnys directions and you move yourself to the black couch, propping up your phone with the cherry red and white candles.

“that’s perfect, baby—fuck, y/n!” johnny grabs himself through his sweats.

“touch yourself, baby.” johnny undoes the strings of his sweats. “i wanna see you play with yourself.”

you lay back so that you’re barely propped up with your knees to your chest and arm between your legs. your fingers massaging your clit and ever so then dipping inside your hole just to tease johnny.

“that’s it, baby. pinch your clit.” you squeal when pinching your clit with your fingers.

johnny pulls himself free, he’s rock hard, precum oozing from his tiny slit. “finger yourself, baby.” you dip a finger into your hole.

“fuck, it just slipped in like nothing…” johnny groans, flexing as he smears the precum around his head.

“just a little faster, baby.” you whimper and pick up your pace, dropping your head back and shutting your eyes. “add another finger.” you add a second finger, shuddering at the slight stretch.

johnny curses under his breath and picks his pace with his strokes. “how does it feel, baby.” you shake your head, bottom lip caught between your teeth.

“not the same,” johnny pauses his strokes. “what do you mean, baby?” your eyes water up, “it’s not the same, johnny.” your legs fall together and your fingers come to a stop.

“we can make it feel like it’s the same, baby. i want you to keep your eyes closed and listen to my voice. imagine it’s me who’s pleasuring you.”

“it won’t be the sam—“

“just listen to my voice, baby.” johnny whispers. “listen to my voice and listen to how i want you to touch yourself.”

you take deep breaths, breathing out slowly and quietly while johnny softly hums.

“let’s backtrack, alright, beautiful?” your lips twitch into a faint smile. “i want you to touch yourself, not finger but touch your clit for me.”

your fingers find their way on your clit, softly rubbing and pinching your clit.

“that’s it, baby.” johnny pulls off his shirt. “don’t cry, take deep breaths, alright?” you nod and rub eights on your clit.

“you have the cutest pussy. cute little pussy that struggles to take my dick.” you moan and ball up your fist, sinking your teeth into the flesh, hard enough so that your teeth leave light indents.

you’re too busy listening to johnnys voice to even notice that johnny had pulled out a cotton fabric. “let’s skip past one finger and do two, i know you can do it.”

with your middle and ring finger, you slip the two into your cunt and let out a cry of pleasure. “oh, fuck.” you gasp and softly jerk forward. “that’s it, gorgeous. look how good you’re taking my fingers.”

johnny wraps the cotton material around his cock and begins to stroke himself. “fuck, baby. you feel so good.”

whimpers slip past your lips as you pick up your pace, the heel of your palm rubbing against your clit, giving you more friction and more pleasure.

“that’s it, y/n. take all of me like a good slut.” johnny moans and strokes himself faster. “faster, baby.” you whimper and gasp repeatedly while your fingers rub your g-spot.

“j—johnny,” you dig your nails into your thighs that hold your legs in place. “i—i’m gonna c—cum.”

“mhm,” johnny hums, his hands fisting tightly around his cock. “cum for me, y/n. show me who makes you feel good.”

your pants and moans filling up the room while your orgasm crashes over you. your legs shake and tremble, and your body jerks repeatedly like you’d been shocked. your fingers slowly and desperately still fingering your cunt.

“s—shit, i’m cumming. fuckfuckfuck!” johnny groans loudly.

johnny balls up his shirt and bites down on the fabric, covering up his moans and whimpers. his fist stroking the tip and painting his abs with white ling streaks.

“oh, fuck…” johnny slowly fucks his fist, his angry red tip popping up every second. “so fucking good.” johnny sighs, letting his hand drop and melting into the couch.

“you made a mess.” you giggle when finally pulling the strength to sit up.

johnny lifts his head and looks at his screen, seeing you barely sat up with your wet pussy on display for johnny to see.

“i made a mess?” johnny scoffs with a sexy smirk. “look at the mess you made.” you smile at him and shake your head.

“i can’t believe i got off to your voice, again.” you groan and grab your phone. “again?” johnny laughs and sits up, grabbing a few tissue from the table near him and cleaning himself up.

“is that my—wow, johnny. you’re gonna make fun of me for getting off on your voice but you’re jerking off with my panties that i’ve been looking for for a month!”

“well, i couldn’t bring you so i improvised.” johnny says a defensive tone. “whatever.” you laugh and shake your head in disbelief.

shuffling can be heard from johnnys side. “geez, it’s already one in the morning.” johnny says as he flips on a light. “already? it feels like we just got on the phone.” you frown and roll off the couch, making your way to the bathroom.

“we’ve been on the phone for over an hour, babe.” johnny says with a laugh. “it felt shorter but anyway, i’m gonna take a quick shower and i’ll call you back in fifteen.”

“why can’t we just keep calling?” johnny frowns and he flips the lights off and hugs his pillow. “because i need my phone to play music so i can karaoke.” you start the shower. “i bought you an ipad, laptop, and second phone for a reason.”

you roll your eyes, propping up your phone on the sink. “you’re so clingy.”

johnny scoffs, “says the one who gets off to my voice.”

you pull off your shirt, “at least i don’t need your boxers to help me do so.” you drop your bra and shirt.

“fuck you.”

you step into the shower. “i love you too.”

AN| hiiii, i know i’ve been really inactive but life is getting so rough right now and it’s really kicking my ass. happy thanksgiving, babies! i love you all and i am very thankful to have a growing account with all those who support and love me and my work. i’m trying my best to write with all my free time but yk sneakylink takes it all up. i know i dragged the end but we don’t talk about it HAHAHSJA. anywho, thank you anon for requesting this!!! happiest thanksgiving! 🩷

[extremelyblackandwhite]

pairing: dad!bucky barnes x au pair!reader

warnings: age gap (reader is 10 years younger than bucky), female masturbation, mentions of sex, smut (18+, dni if under 18)

summary: there’s something about bucky that she never allowed herself to fully explore. 

Sadie had always been a quiet baby, even the day he first met her. She was just there, on the entry mat of his flat, wrapped in hospital blanket, laid on her back and sleeping peacefully. He could not believe that such peace, such overwhelming purity had somehow came from him. Ever since, that remained. She was well behaved, usually being happy if someone she knew was around. She was the best thing that could’ve possibly come from him and as he laid her down in her bed, surrounded by another pile of plushies which she demanded she had to sleep next to every night, that feeling that his little girl only had him, the most imperfect person he knew, made his heart stop even if for a second. He shook those thoughts from his mind, distracting himself by pulling the comforter over his daughter and kissing her head, turning the lights off as he exited the room. This was not it. Not what he envisioned when he allowed himself the chance to think of a future where he had children. If he had allowed himself the fantasy when he was younger, he would’ve rather had a traditional home somewhere in the suburbs where everyone was sure to somehow get in his nerves but was safer. The home would be homey, walls covered in photos from a single live well lived, a wedding photo at the entry door and three jackets in the same colour but different sizes. He thought if he ever had children, he would be married to someone he loved and loved him back. Yet, he’d only allowed himself the childish notion of love towards himself to ran wild before he got into the army, before the accident. Truth was, after the accident he didn’t want a bride and he certainly didn’t want children. He wasn’t naive enough to believe himself unattractive, he knew he was, he knew he was magnetic. However, he knew the difference between magnetism, passion and love. Love and lust may go together, but they don’t arise together, not at the beginning. 

Parts of him sometimes wished things would’ve worked out with Sadie’s mother. God, he’d tried. He’d been an idiot before, begging on his knees to a woman who couldn’t care less about the child she’d abandoned on his doorstep, to please give him a chance. He had begged her to allow him to show her a nice life, even if she didn’t love him, even if she didn’t like him. Heck, he’d even attempted to pay her, just so Sadie would have a mother. Just so Sadie would know her mother. The sad truth was that Sadie’s mother didn’t want to be her mother. She didn’t even want to be reminded of Sadie’s existence except for when she needed money. For her, Sadie was an accident. Heck, for her she didn’t even know their child was even named Sadie. She didn’t care. Bucky tried to pretend he didn’t care either but he did. He wanted Sadie happy. He couldn’t be the best dad, he knew that, but he could try to give her everything. 

He popped the glass lid off the whiskey bottle on his drink cart, pouring himself a very generous glass. Maybe he should put some photos up on the walls. Yet, he doubted his interior designer would be very happy about it. 

     - Is she off for the night? - Y/N came down the stairs, dressed in her beige loungewear and carrying the single cup of tea she seemed to always have around her. He nodded, taking another sip of his drink while staring into pure nothingness. - I’m taking her to the park tomorrow morning. Playdate with one of the kids from school.

     - Where did you learn to shoot? 

     - How is that relevant to your daughter’s playdate? 

     - No one shoots that well as a first timer. - he turned to look at her. - That’s no beginners luck. That’s good shooting. 

     - My older brother used to have fun shooting cans down with BB guns when we were kids. He taught me.

     - You have a brother? 

     - How is that relevant?

     - We never actually talk, Y/N. You spend days with my kid and I don’t know much about you. I’m curious. - he sat on his couch, patting the seat next to him. - Trust me, doll. It pays off being in my good graces. 

    - Don’t care. You already pay me. - she leaned on the back of the couch, looking at him with a smug grin. - Quite handsomely, actually. 

    - Do you want a drink? 

    - I have a drink. - she rose her cup of tea. 

    - A proper drink. I have the good stuff, doll. Besides, Sadie’s asleep and your boss won’t care if you have a drink or two. - he got up, ready to pour her something. - Come on. When will you be able to drink 50 year old scotch? 

    - You have 50 year old scotch? - she peaked over to the trolley. - Is that even drinkable? Has it not developed a weird taste? Does the scotch know women have rights now? 

     - Don’t get too used to it. They cost a pretty penny. - he handed her a glass. - Worth it. 

    - How much does it cost? 

    - Just enjoy yourself. 

That was good scotch. She probably had no qualification to be deciding what was good and what was bad scotch but she was entirely sure this was good scotch. Good strong scotch and just by the second glass, the two of them were giggling like two school girls, her cup of tea long forgotten. 

   - C’mon, c’mon ... - she playfully slapped his arm. - You slept with at least one of them. They’re hot. 

   - I don’t sleep with my employees. I’m a good boss. 

   - But she’s so hot. - she hammered on. - I would sleep with her if I swung that way. Is that a rule? Only hot secretaries?

   - It’s not my fault hot people attract hot people. 

   - At least one of the mums at Sadie’s school. 

   - Nope. 

   - They’re always throwing themselves at you. Honestly, its your pick at this point. 

   - I can’t. They very respectfully throw themselves at me but they still think there’s a Mrs. Barnes. 

   - Sadie’s mum? - she almost sobered up at the thought. - Sadie’s mum has come by?

   - No, not Sadie’s mum. You. 

   - I’m not Mrs. Barnes. Do they think I’m Mrs. Barnes?

   - Wow. - he chuckled at her horrified face - Would it be such a bad thing to be Mrs. Barnes? There are worse fates.

    - You’re not my type. - she almost snorted a laugh, hiding the sight of her lips behind the hammered glass of the tumbler. 

Bucky leaned against the couch, looking her up and down without moving anything but his eyes. It was a sniper look if she’d ever seen one and although she was covered in oversized loungewear, she felt as if she stood stark naked in front of her boss. Her cheeks heated and she no longer knew if it was from the scotch in her system or from the look she was receiving from him. His motionless state changed as he moved like a feline, standing above her, close enough she could feel his breathe on her. She buried herself deeper into the couch, trying to avoid his eyes. Had his eyes always been this blue? 

     - I’m sure I could change your mind if I wanted. - he chuckled before returning to his seat. - What about you? You’re very curious about my love life, what about yours? 

     - I don’t have time. 

     - That I know. You’re always here, overtime with my daughter. Are there no postgraduate men vying for your attention? - he drank whatever was leftover of the amber liquid in the glass. 

     - I’m not that kind of girl. - she laughed, uncomfortable at the mention of her dating life. She was already ashamed of it, of what her love life looked like. There was no one tripping over themselves to date her. Perhaps it was merely because she didn’t know what it took to put oneselves out there, she didn’t like the superficiality of dating apps, somewhat still wanting a traditional meet cute, and when she wasn’t studying, she was looking after Sadie. Besides, she never was the centre of attention, so why would she be now? - I’m content. 

     - If I were 10 years younger, I’d be all over you. - he winked. - You need more time off. 

     - Who needs a boyfriend when I can be Mrs. Barnes apparently. - she rebutted, getting a laugh from him. - If apparently I am Mrs. Barnes, I think I’m gonna need a raise. 

      - You’re just making me lose out of on the chance to sleep with the school’s MILFs. You may need a pay cut, actually.

      - I think you’ve had too much too drink. Another comment like that and they won’t let you near the school. - she let herself lean against the pillow, taking him in with a very drunken mind. James Barnes was gorgeous, he’d always been gorgeous but perhaps her sober self had never allowed herself to see him like this, see him as a sexual being or have less than appropriate thoughts about her boss.

She knew he was attractive, she knew everybody wanted him even if it was for a single night. She’d heard some of it ... by accident when Sadie was at school and he thought no one was home. She didn’t think much of it but now, as he stood there in dark joggers and a way too tight white t-shirt, those noises were all she could think of. What it would feel like to hear a man like that come undone, to be the reason a man like that came undone. She wondered what his fingers would feel against supple skin, the texture of his lips and tongue. 

      - Are you alright? - his voice luckily took her out of her depraved fantasy world. She shouldn’t be thinking of this, she shouldn’t think of him like that. He’s her boss, he’s Sadie’s dad. - I’m just joking around. I am not a man whore, Y/N. 

      - I know. - she swallowed the lump in her throat. - I, I really need to get to bed or Sadie will miss her playdate tomorrow. 

      - I should be going too. Work tomorrow. 

      - Ah ... - she looked around. - I’ll wait for you to say goodnight to Sadie tomorrow then? Or do you want her to go to sleep before you arrive?

      - I’ll text you if I make it before bedtime.

      - Okay. Hum ... goodnight, Sergeant Barnes.

(...)

It was official. She was depraved. 

The 50 year old scotch made her a depraved individual. That had to be the reason she was twisting and turning around in her bed, her sheets no longer smooth instead tangled between her legs as her mind wandered further into the sexuality that her boss exuded. He was stuck in her mind, from the way his lips grazed the glass to how close he’d been to her. He’d been so close to her, close enough she could’ve kissed him if she wanted to. She was sure he was a good kisser. He looked like he was a good kisser. 

She turned around of more, staring at the ceiling, trying to find something remotely interesting in the wide white of the ceiling. Instead, she wondered about what he was doing in his bedroom. She wondered if he was restless too, perhaps finding something more interesting to do with his time and like an annoying radio song, those moans were back in her memory. God, she wondered if he needed a woman with him to make those sounds. Wondered if he laid down at night, fantasising about the perfect woman, tugging at his cock. Oh god ...

     - Stop it. - she mumbled to herself but that image was now stuck in her mind. The idea of his lips parted as he jerked off, moans leaving his mouth like any other fantasy. 

That heat was back to her cheeks as her hand shyly descended, from her side to the hem of her shorts. She shouldn’t, she really shouldn’t and perhaps if she were sober she wouldn’t be doing it but at the mere memory of him, all inhibitions were out the window and her hand went under the shorts and her underwear. She reached between the heat in her legs, finding to no surprise that her colourful imagination made her wet. She let herself imagine what it would be like for him to touch her as she lazily circled her clit with her fingers, her other hand toying with her hardened nipple. 

She could almost hear his voice in that state, whispering dirty words into her ear as she thrust a finger into her wanting heat, her palm rubbing against her bundle of nerves as she slowly fucked herself. She wondered if he’d put his hand around her throat, calling her all sorts of things and moaning against her ear. 

    - Sergeant Barnes ... - she moaned to herself, her head trashing around her pillow as she bit the fabric trying to suppress any noise from coming out. 

She was done for, so done for. 

(...)

     - Oh my god! - she shrieked as she stepped away from the tub, receiving yet another splash of water which instead of ending up on the floor, hit her directly across her front. 

The bathroom was steamed from the heat of the water, most of which now laid on the ground in puddles or soaked into her clothing. This never happened, or at least it didn’t usually happen. That’s what she gets for bathing an overexcited toddler. She looked down on herself, sighing before picking up the only dry towel in the bathroom and pulling Sadie out the bath before she turned the bathroom into her own private pool. She already had one of those, she didn’t need two. 

     - You’re gonna have to help me mop, huh? - she told the 2 year old as she dried her off and helped her into dry, clean pyjamas. - We can’t splash in the bath.

     - Fun! - she merely replied with that smile that almost made her forgive everything. Almost.

She picked Sadie up, leaning her against her hip so she wouldn't trip on the wet tilled floor. That’s just what she needed for tonight, to spend it all moping the floors of the bathroom. Yet right now all she needed was to get Sadie fed and calm before she created any more danger. She would change after. It was just the two of them tonight and Bucky hadn’t shown any signs of showing up before bedtime which gave her plenty of time to get her ducks in a row. 

At least that’s what she had thought until she stepped right into Bucky’s track as she made her way to the kitchen. Bucky stood there, almost made of stone as he took in what stood in front of him. His daughter was happily giggling, speaking about her playdate while Y/N was soaking wet, from head to toe. It was almost as if she wasn't wearing a shirt. The thin white material transparent and clinging to the pebbled nipples and outline of her breasts and if that wasn't enough, the wet white shorts gave him a front view of her red underwear. 

He’d never felt like a perverted old man until now. Until the sight of this woman soaking wet made him wonder what she would look like completely naked. Suddenly, his trousers felt tighter around his crotch and he had to turn his head away. This was his child’s mother ... shit, his child’s babysitter. Whatever. This was inappropriate. 

    - I’m sorry. She splashed the whole bathroom.

What was he supposed to reply? He couldn’t look the woman in the eye without getting hard. Instead, he grabbed his daughter from her, taking a few steps back. A few which looked like a mile away. 

     - You may want to change, Y/N. - he cleared his throat. 

     - Oh ... - she looked down herself. Great. Now she was having inappropriate thoughts about her boss and prancing around in see through clothing. - I’m so sorry.

    - Just go, Y/N. - he motioned towards the stairs, turning around to face the other side as she climbed up the stairs and away from his sight. Great, he was a perverted old man now. 

     - Daddy, you’re red. - Sadie piped up as he sat her down in her chair. - Angry?

    - No, Sadie. I’m not angry. 

    - Sorry. - she apologised. 

    - Just don’t splash Miss Y/N, yeah? Makes things complicated for daddy.

[heller-castiel]

🥳🥳It’s my birthday!🥳🥳

celebrate by reading some of my old fics

Bobby Day - Sam and Dean don’t have a mom to celebrate on Mother’s Day - they just have a Bobby.

This’ll Be The Day That I Die - “They had this song, before they got married, that they loved. Cheek to Cheek, you know? And they’d look so damn sad when it’d play on the record, even though he asked her to marry her to that fuckin’ song. Had to tell Sammy to stop playing that record cause they hated to be reminded of their marriage so much.” Dean swallowed. “Hell, the song feels more like a funeral march than anything else after a childhood of that. Promise me? Promise me we won’t be like that? Together and hating each other for it?”

Castiel took in a mouthful of smoke and lied. “I promise.”

Or: The American Pie (by Don McLean) fic

Holy Palmers’ Bloody Kiss - It’s nice, getting to take care of his family, getting to heal his family. Dean’s always been looking out for everyone else, was raised for it, bred for it even, and he’s made his peace with that. Held his baby brother in his arms and he knew what he was made for, going to sleep in beige hotel rooms stained in dark browns and reds with a baby in one hand and a revolver in the other.

He’s never gotten to offer healing, saving, before. It’s the first time since he was a kid that looking out for family didn’t mean guns and death and revenge.

Goodnight, Moon - Cas shifts in his arms, turning to face Dean, and just as Cas wants to hold him, Dean is ready to be held in return. Their left arms reach across their chests where they are pressed together, and they do not clasp hands but rest the backs of them against each other, and Dean’s right arm falls to rest on Cas’s hip just as Cas’s right falls to Dean’s hip, and together they let their foreheads rest on each other’s.

Or, Cas has insomnia sometimes. Dean brings him back to bed.

You Can Start to Make it Better (Beautiful Beautiful Boy) - Dean goes to bed with Cas on the night Jack's finally ready to reform heaven and give up his Godly powers; but before he does, he pulls Dean into heaven to bring someone back, one last time.

Or: Dean Winchester works through his mommy issues with some heavenly therapy.

if you ran away, just come home - Dean wandered, after. The night that Chuck died, subsumed into Amara, he had silently climbed into his car in the dead of night, walking past Jack's room, past Sam's room.

In his room, Sam laid in his bed with Eileen, and felt the air displace itself around where Dean slipped past in the hallway, instincts attuning him to movement just as they made Dean move soundlessly, without a thought to it. but Dean didn’t think of that. Dean only thought of moving, getting out, going -

Going to something the bunker couldn’t be, anymore. Something he couldn’t ever go to.

But he had to go.

[mattspoetdepartment]

Pumpkins adoption day

This is a collaboration with the incredible and insanely talented @harlowcomehome 🩷🩷🩷 thank you so much for working with me and just everything 🩷🩷

Jack had been having a tough time lately, adjusting to life back home after the whirlwind of his life the last three years.

“Baby” you kissed his shoulder blades as he softly snored beside you.

You knew he had only just fallen asleep after yet another sleepless night. Christmas was around the corner, and he had been overworking himself to get this album done, intending for a late January or early February release.

You went into the guest bathroom and got ready hoping to leave the house before he woke up for the day.

Your phone vibrating as you had finally gotten the call you’d been hoping for.

Jack had been casually mentioning how much he wanted a dog for the past couple of months, often reminiscing about his childhood pet. You had been going to an animal shelter looking for a specific breed, hoping that you’d get lucky.

You remembered how often Jack would tell you how much he loved his family dog and how he wanted the have one of his own someday. Considering how much he had been going through you thought getting him a dog now would somehow make him feel better, or ease the load.

After you had been consistently showing up at the shelter for a while, one of the girls who worked there reached out to you asking what you were looking for and putting you on a list to be called if a dog in that breed ever came in.

You were starting to give up hope until you had gotten the call this morning. Once you had finished getting ready you went into the bedroom to check if Jack was still asleep. When you saw him sleeping you kissed his head gently before quietly leaving, eager to go to the shelter first thing.

You drove down to the shelter, worried they’d place her with someone else if you didn’t hurry.

When you arrived she was up front with the staff, being passed around from arm to arm.

“Where do I sign?” You asked, holding the puppy close to you worried someone would take her away.

The employees smiled at you, printing out the necessary paperwork.

“Would you like to pick out a collar? We usually give out free ones with any adoption!”

You nodded looking through their options before picking out a silky purple one with a bow on it. You slipped it on her admiring how adorable she looked.

“Such a beautiful girl!” You cooed at her, kissing her on the curly head.

After you signed the paperwork she was officially adopted and all yours. You had carefully placed her on a pile of blankets in your passenger seat and wrapped her up in one for security.

You went to the nearest pet store to buy her all the things she needed, knowing full well you were going overboard the second you walked in.

“Your daddy is gonna love you so much,” you said, reaching your hand out to pet her head. You softly giggled noticing her and Jack had matching hairstyles.

Once you had gotten to the pet store you put her in the cart like she was a child.

You were definitely taking this mothering thing to a whole new level with her already.

“Okay, little missy what kind of bed do you want? Looks like we have a sad beige color” You looked at her and smiled when she didn’t find your antics amusing.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you girl, oh what about this pink one!” You held the bed out to her and her tail wagged so you took that as a yes.

“Pink it is! Let’s go find you some toys” Once you had picked out quite a few toys she liked you of course picked up a pink leash to go with her bed.

You also got treats, puppy food, food bowls, and puppy pads thinking you were likely all set.

When you left the store you could hardly contain your excitement.

You made it home safely leaving the bags in the car as you wrapped her in a blanket and walked inside with her.

Jack was in the kitchen making himself something to eat when he heard the door shut.

“I’m making omelets!” He shouted over the music he was currently playing.

“Babe, can you turn that down? You’re scaring her” you stifled a giggle.

“Scaring who?” He turned the music off as he questioned you. Emerging from the kitchen with a spatula in his hands.

He immediately stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes hyper-fixated on the small puppy in your arms.

“Babe” his voice cracked. “Babe, you didn’t.”

“I did” You walked toward him, trading him the puppy for the spatula he was holding.

She started licking his hands immediately, he held her up in the air above him.

“Hi pretty baby” he spoke to her in a soft baby voice that you’d never heard before.

“Is she ours?”

“Yes,” you smiled, going to the kitchen to tend to his food before it burned. You quickly plated it and turned the stove off returning to the living room where Jack was now sitting on the floor with her.

“We have to get you a bed and some food. Yes, we do” Jack spoke to her in the same tone as he booped her nose.

“I actually got all of that, it’s in the car” you smiled before sitting down beside the two of them.

Jack's eyes were glossy and filled with emotion.

“You didn’t have to do this” he whispered as he watched his new fur baby hop around your shared apartment.

“I wanted to” You leaned your head on his shoulder as he kissed the top of your head.

You both had only looked away for a moment before you realized the puppy was out of sight.

“Pumpkin?” Jack panicked the name rolling off his tongue without thinking.

Pumpkin was chewing on a pair of fresh new balance laces in the corner of the room.

“Pumpkin huh?” You giggled as you followed Jack over to her.

“Is that okay? Do you like it? We can change it” he continued rambling only making you giggle once more.

“It’s perfect. Pumpkin is perfect.”

[oh-stars]

The Wall

Polaroid

a Stobin Month 2024 prompt | 1167 words | CW: N/A | Rating: G

--

“I can’t part with it,” Robin says. 

Steve stands beside her, hands on his hips. “Me either.” 

“We can’t leave it though.” 

“But we don’t have space for it at the new place.” 

“We’re not living together in the new place,” Robin points out with a sigh. 

Steve’s shoulders fall. He keeps forgetting that part. “How do we split it then?” 

“I say we don’t and just stay here,” Robin decides. She nods her head once, then claps. “Yup, that’s settled. We’re living here forever.” 

“Rob,” Steve sighs, “you know we can’t.” 

“Says who? We love this house. It’s our house. Why do we have to leave it?” Robin takes a seat on the floor and stares up at The Wall. Steve doesn’t hesitate to follow, even when his knees pop and protest at the movement. He looks up at The Wall in all its glory, eyes flickering around from one spot to another. It’s their most important wall in the house, their collective prized possession. It’s the most beautiful thing they’ve ever made. 

The Wall is the north wall of their living room that connects with the stairs. It’s a boring beige color, but that’s not the important part, it’s what’s on the wall that matters. The very first day Steve and Robin moved into the house, they commemorated the day with a picture using Robin’s brand new Polaroid camera. And since their walls were all bare, they decided to put the picture on this wall that would one day be covered. 

He doesn’t remember why they decided to take a picture every day, doesn’t know what possessed them to keep it up for over eight years, but here they are. The wall is covered with almost three thousand polaroids, some better than others, with little dates written on the bottom. The ones celebrating big milestones are the highlights, like special birthdays and graduations or the start of a new job or anniversary, with special attention taken to the doodles along the borders. They even alter the space around them so they sit in little pockets, standing out among the silly and blurred daily shots. 

No one else understood why they kept it up, but they’ve never missed a day. Even when traveling, alone or together, they make sure someone took a picture. 

And now that they’re moving out of their first home, moving in with their respective partners, the time has come to take it down. 

Steve’s more sad to see The Wall go than he is to leave this house and he loves this house. It’s just not big enough for Steve, Eddie, Chrissy, Robin, the cats, and the incoming baby that Chrissy’s carrying for Steve and Eddie. He almost wishes Robin and Chrissy would just stay here, keep the wall up even if they stop taking pictures every day, but Robin didn’t think that was fair. “There’s no way I’m living in this house without you, dingus,” she said, “who would fight the ghost on my behalf?” 

The ghost is actually their neighbor’s outdoor cat, Sally, who likes to sneak into their home to play with their cat, Tassel. At first, they thought it was some territory dispute, but it turns out the cats are just star-crossed lovers. So much so that their neighbor’s trying to figure out how Sally can still see Tassel. Steve didn’t peg the old man to be supportive of two lesbian cats, but then again he’s never had a problem with the big rainbow flag hanging in their living room or the fact he’s had to ask Steve and Eddie to keep the noise down a time or two. 

Damn, he’s going to miss Nathaniel, too. 

“We have to take it down,” Steve says. 

“No.” 

“Rob.” 

“Steve.” 

“Would you rather someone else does it?” Steve raises an eyebrow at her. 

She rolls her eyes and huffs. “No.” 

“Then we have to.” 

“Why’d you have to go and make your family bigger, dingus,” Robin whines, leaning into him. “I’m happy to be Aunt Robin and all, and like I know this is what you were meant to do, but it’s really throwing a wrench in our growing old together plan.” 

Steve kisses her forehead then rests his cheek against the top of her head. “You’re the one who introduced Eddie and I.” 

“And I regret it everyday for him stealing you away from me.” 

“Chrissy stole you first.” 

“She’s perfect, she can do no wrong,” Robin says. “Eddie’s a gremlin man and took you from me.” 

“I resent that,” Eddie says as he and Jonathan walk into the room. The house is pretty bare, minus the big furniture that still needs to be moved tomorrow, but the whole point of today was to take boxes out, yet they’re bringing boxes in. Eddie sets down a box in front of them and opens it to reveal several photo albums. 

Jonathan does the same, but he takes out a machine that he plugs into the wall and starts fiddling with. 

“What are you doing?” Steve asks. 

“We’re here to rescue The Wall,” Eddie says.” 

“This is a scanner,” Jonathan explains, “I borrowed it from work. We can take each picture and scan it to make another one and then you both have a copy.” 

“And you two can decide who gets the originals but this way neither of you have to cry over losing it anymore.” Eddie holds out identical albums to each of them. “They’re prepped and ready for you to do your thing. But we need to finish this before we call it a day if we want to stay on schedule,” he says. 

Steve looks down at the hefty photo album. They’re ornate with little doodles engraved in the leather of ice cream and anchors and VHS tapes and music notes and every other little icon Eddie could come up with to represent the last decade of his and Robin’s friendship. In the center, in what he’s sure is Chrissy’s script, it says “The Wonder Twins Years, Vol. 1” with a blank section to write what dates they can fit into the album. 

“Eds,” he whispers. 

Eddie darts forward to kiss his cheek. “No more tears, baby.” 

Robin sniffles beside him. “Fine,” she huffs, “I guess he can stick around.” 

“Was that up for debate?” 

“It always was,” Robin says as she heaves herself up. “Dingus, go get the ladder out of the office.” 

“On it,” Steve says. He gets up and sets the album on the coffee table. As he passes Jonathan, he squeezes his shoulder. “Thank you.” 

Jonathan nods and smiles. “It’s too impressive to destroy,” he says. 

Steve’s not sure why he’s surprised that Jonathan, their resident photographer, understands The Wall like he and Robin do, but it still fills him with so much warmth. He excuses himself before he can cry some more. Better to save those tears for when Robin’s decided to go down memory lane with every other picture. 

He can’t wait.  

--

Thank you @lady-lostmind for beta reading!

Ao3 Link

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Days Eleven and Twelve

The Different Beatle Arrivals outside apple are interesting to me. 

Ringo: arrives first, in the passenger’s seat, has a chummy remark for his driver, a cheeky grin for the camera, and a kind nod for the scruffs. 

John and Yoko: arrive second, in the back of their on-brand, white thing, with no acknowledgement of anyone (and Yoko accidentally goes for the front door then changes directions when she sees John going around the side)

George: drives himself, glances over his shoulder, locks his car door, and goes in. Again, no acknowledgement. 

Paul: walks, studiously ignores the camera, bestows a condescending nod at the scruffs. (shouldn’t be sexy. Is. what else is new?)

Everything the scruffs said was perfection. Where are their parents? Who is taking care of them? Do they not go to school?

So glad for the boys that they took a day to hide from the cameras. I hope they all traded meaningful items of clothing and meditated and circle jerked and told each other how brilliant they were. (Oh gosh. Can you all imagine a circle-jerk plus yoko? Her and Paul furiously compete over who can hold John's eye contact?)

Short queens making the beatles look like child-labor supporters. 

Look at that cute little impish grin. What do we think? Did George and John actually have a punch-up? George Martin went out of his way on at least two occasions to say that they did, in fact, come to blows. But I didn’t see any evidence on John the next day, and they both seem extremely comfortable joke-fighting here, where I don’t think they would if they’d real-fought a week or so ago. I don’t know, I think it’s very up for debate. But if they did, I actually think it would be a testament to the importance of the John and George dynamic. We always say how it shows how much John must’ve cared about Paul to sprint down the road and jump his fence over a missed recording session. What would it say about how much John must’ve cared about George if he punched him when he said he’d quit?

Either way, their *meaningful* rendition of “You are my sunshine” is heart-melting.

Yoko, the og sad beige mom.

Add juggling to Ringo’s talents in his cabaret/circus act with Paul.

Every old man obsessed with “tough, acerbic Lennon” needs to have “My rock and roll finger is bleeding, my rock and roll finger is hurt” played on a loop in their heads every time they open their mouths until they shut up. 

Paul, why are you literally strong-arming Glyn into the studio? This man does not know how to touch another person.    

Maybe they kept Magic Alex around just for laughs? It’s good to hear anyway, that they are fully aware they’re being conned. 

The way George and Paul just in sync jump into their old choreography. 

The way they could really have just gone off and done their own things while Glyn finishes setting up. But the idea just doesn’t occur to them. Why would they want to be anywhere else, doing anything else, with anyone else? 

I feel like John right now because I’m like enjoying Paul’s sexy drumming face and then the camera switches and I’m like Oh Yoko you’re so pretty. And is this another *meaningful* cover? I’m going to have to make a list of all these and go through after I’m done with this and see which ones I think actually have a double meaning. “My baby left me” by Crudup. My main evidence here being Yoko’s Jim Halpert expression as John’s singing this at Paul.

How to get Paul to stop messing with your shit. A demonstration by Ringo Starr. 

John is Not having Paul reading their bad press for the cameras.

And today, it’s John that needs a little Ringofection. I wonder if it had anything to do with “Aaaaall I want is youuuuuuuuu. Everything has got to be the way you want it toooooooooo.”

George looking at Ringo’s jumping jacks. I agree. 

“Richard Rogers has got nothing on this boy. . . . Ah, sometimes, John, I don’t know.” “I just make it up as I go along.” “Oh, is that how you do it?” Again. He’s being silly, but he really does think you’re the smartest boy in the whole wide world, John. I hope you know that. (he definitely does not know that.)  

ICONIC. One of my favorite moments of the whole series. Not a glance at each other. Perfectly synchronized.

Any particular significance with Dicky Murdock that anyone knows about?  

Another favorite moment. The absolute marshmallow softness. Oh to have footage of Paul teaching John guitar chords on one of their childhood beds.

Not going to say it again, but boy am I thinking it.

Someone needs to make a compilation of all the times someone’s been caught giving John and Paul a WTF look. 

[fluloa]

my headcanons for the sully family

JAKE:

- has an apron that says ‘kiss the chef’

- has thought about getting an ear piercing and would like to

- always itchy, like will be constantly scratching at a random part of his body during a casual conversation

- had a loner phase when he was in middle school

- doesn’t like fuzzy things, he hates the texture and the way it feels on his skin, gives him a bad type of goosebumps

- adhd. said what i said

- flexes his big dad muscles every chance he can get (good for him tbh)

- finds it so relaxing when neytiri plays with his hair

- is a big purrer, to the point where it’s embarassing and he HATES it but he can’t help it

- cries every single time he watches the start of finding nemo

- hates watching reality tv

NEYTIRI:

- loves watching reality tv

- bites off her toenails (sorry not sorry)

- really likes apple juice

- loves the song cover me in sunshine by pink, every time she plays it, lo’ak screams out in agony

- a sad beige baby mom

- makes weird faces when feeding babies and does the sound ‘nom nom nom’

- loves cats. jake got one for her for her birthday and he doesn’t think she’s ever seen her happier

- wine lover and proud (especially with these little shit of a kids)

- has a collection of perfumes and jewellery that she only touched like once or twice. poor girl just forgets about them bc of all the stress she’s holdin

- the type of mom to demand every kid’s room is clean when somebody is going to be over. lo’ak is always the one to say “they won’t even be coming into our room!”

- lo’ak gets a whooping for that

NETEYAM:

- asks jake for his old band t-shirts

- loves water parks and will say weeee when going down the slides

- lets tuk put makeup on his face. but that stopped after she used some cheap shop makeup on him and he got an allergic reaction from it

- sometimes he wears belt with his jeans and it is funny

- always forgets to knock before opening doors. once caught jake butt naked and has never been the same again

- his favourite color is purple but he says it’s blue so that people don’t make fun of him

- loves playing laser tag even though he sucks ass at it

- he’s a fan of marvel and he’s always first at the cinemas when a movie comes out

- likes to skateboard. surprisingly very good at it since he’s only used it like ten times since he got it for 12th birthday

- for some odd reason, he really likes helping neytiri out with grocery shopping? also a guilty pleasure to pick out some of his favorite snacks and being the perfect little son that he is, neytiri always says yes

- brushes his teeth DAY AND NIGHT without a skip

KIRI:

- definitely plays my singing monsters

- had a monster can collection phase (will not admit to it although)

- that being said, had an ‘indie kid’ phase and begged norm for a couple of unused cds so she could paint them

- listens to mitski and lana del ray and flexes it to people and attacks them if they say they don’t know who they are or they don’t like their music

- wants her septum pierced but by neytiri’s words, “i’d rather die.”

- does her own hair, hence why it’s so messily beautiful

- neytiri cuts her hair though, as much as she doesn’t like to admit it

- would really like a tattoo, but neytiri has said no obviously

- tried asking jake for the tattoo, but jake was terrified of neytiri’s expression so he said no

- then tried to do a stick and poke and it failed miserably (rejected from her skin a week later)

- weirdly insecure of her nose, sometimes she likes it, sometimes she doesn’t

- jumps on the trampoline with tuk until she’s passed out from exhaustion

- plant lover. like seriously has a dozen in her room and will panic if she hasn’t gotten the time to water them for a day

LO’AK:

- plays mortal kombat and has an addiction to it. will yell out fatality when putting neteyam in a headlock

- begs neytiri for waves (she always says no, thank god)

- has got led lights in his room that are stuck to the wall with shitty sticky tape. you can easily see it, too

- always facetiming tsiyera but half of the time she doesn’t answer

- the type to lick chip dust off of his fingers until the last speck is demolished

- SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE BOYS

- has a pet fish and secretly adores her, her name’s shelly and will go into deep detail if you ask about her

- favorite food is doritos and takis

- was a ‘all girls are the same’ type before he met tsiyera

- wears his worn ass jordans religiously

TUK:

- has a pink ipad

- makes her own fake youtube tutorials on said ipad. kiri sneakily watches them when she’s sleeping

- can do an impressive amount of tricks on the trampoline and each time she learns a new one she yells out, “DAD!!! DAD, DAD, DAD, COME WATCH THIS!!!! DAD!! DAD!! DAD!!!!”

- her heart broke when jake with a few drinks in his system decided to jump on the trampoline on a party night and ended up tearing a massive hole in the middle of it

- has a CRIPPLING obsession with slime and neytiri absolutely hates it. always searching up ‘how to make slime no borax no glue’ and always makes a mess of wherever she makes it

- SHE LOVES DISNEY and her favorite princess is moana

- begged neytiri to let her dye the ends of her hair purple. neytiri used one of those ten washes dyes in a box and didn’t bleach her hair before because “no way am i putting bleach in my daughter’s hair” when it didn’t work because tuk’s hair is literally pitch black, she cried

- she literally loves the low space buns hairstyle and will forever ask neytiri to do it for her. but will end up crying because of how hard neytiri pulls her hair (it’s not even that hard)

- has a huge collection of squishmallows (jake got her them all)

- doesn’t actually like chocolate but loves candy

- the type to bounce on neytiri and jake’s bed to wake them up

[algrenion]

Listen, I think this is cute. I admit it. I think the “sad beige mom” aesthetic is cute, actually. I like beige. But I am an adult. And this is for kids. This giraffe toy is for kids. And I don’t think that’s good!!

It makes me irrationally angry that some freaking baby out there has this cute toy and has been lied to about giraffes to this extent. You don’t NEED to make a minamalist giraffe!! It can have patterns!!! It’s just a DIFFERENT SHADE of BROWN!! Give the giraffe back his stuff!!!!!! For the sake of the children!!!!!!!!!!!!

[clownnotes-png]

hii i’m not sure if you r still doing the genshin cg pairings and I also don’t remember if I sent one in a while ago, but here’s my req to be matched :3

my name is lagoon, I regress from 1-4 years old, i’m a virgo(aug 24th). I mostly regress around bedtime so I don’t really do much aside from snuggle with stuffies, watch cartoons, scroll on my phone, and maybe read a children’s book or color if i’m feeling big enough.

i’m mostly non/semi verbal, usually just sleepy and giggly or wanting cuddled and babied. I don’t do good with loud noises or brighter things, most of the time I lean towards softer “sad beige baby” colors or muted pastels because they're easier on my eyes when small.

I don’t rlly care who u pair me with but i’d prefer a m!char or someone from liyue/fontaine/sumeru if that’s doable >_<

srry if this was a lot of info I have a tendency 2 over share by accident bc i’m autistic, but I hope this was enough to use !!

-sincerely, fishie(🐠) anon :3

HIII you have sent one in before sorry it took me like 3 years to get to it (it was actually next now that I’m. Actually writing again) ALSO dw !! I overshare like sm too, frequently gotta cutdown my yapping :/

ANYWHO

I match you with…!

Caregiver Freminet !

Freminet is a very quiet person and would understand if you can’t or don’t want to talk/babble! He would love to read or color with you and would happily snuggle with you and your stuffies!

If you’re not big enough to read on your own Freminet would help you choose a book and gather some of your stuffies and you around in a circle and have “reading time” with you! He also always keeps the lights dimmed so they don’t hurt your eyes - it’s also a pro for him since it reminds him of the depths of fontaines seas.

Fremi has all of your favorite cartoons saved in his watchlists on streaming platforms so it’s easy to get to them and turn them on! He also has a small wheel in case you hit decision paralysis on deciding which show to watch.

Bedtime with him is so comfy, he stacks all of your stuffies around and dims all the lights (except a nightlight if you need/want one <3) and tucks the sheets a bit under you so you’re snug as a bug :)

[f0point5]

ok ok i will 100% understand if you don't post this ask because i know any mention of kelly gets you 100 rabid bitter people hate spamming her on your ask box

But i was looking at her skiing posts and I really like the fact that she dresses P like a normal child 😭 like yes the bar is low but it's nice to see a child wearing color and not a sad beige baby

also love the little moments she posts of max he looks so endearing

I am not scared of the rabid mob lol. Gets annoying but we do not negotiate with terrorists. Imma post it.

That said, I have to say, I love a sad beige baby. Not necessarily all beige, but coordinated. The biggest issue for me as a mother would be watching my daughter go out in bright and uncoordinated outfits and knowing I have to let her because you don’t want to control them so much they rebel. But oof. But generally I think Penelope is a well dressed child.

Kelly also is a not a sad beige type of person, she wears a lot of vibrant colours and can be quite daring with her fashion choices so that clearly rubs off on P. Their ski outfits have been *chef’s kiss* for me!

[fallin4fiction]

Struck by Love Gen 7: Rhiannon Rages

After taking more photos for the gram and even a memorial one to show the sadness she felt for losing her father, Kora and Haylee came home and invited over her mother and second oldest sister to see the baby.

The first visit started off sweet, but no one knew Rhiannon had some anger brewing inside over her husband’s death. Poor Holden was catching the bad vibes.

Rhiannon: Why aren’t you married? Your sisters are both married and you didn’t even invite me to your first wedding. What’s that about? Now you’re back at home with me, with a baby, and no partner.

Kassidy: I told you I’m happily single.

Kassidy tried to escape from her mom’s rants, by volunteering to put Holden to bed. Kora has yet to take her wedding garb off since no one was able to see her get married in it. They could at least appreciate her on her Sentate splendor after the event.

Rhiannon: This nursery is too blue! Not enough yellow and orange! The baby needs happy colors! I didn’t raise you to be a beige or sad mom!

Kora: His future colors are Navy and gold and we’re working with what the watcher can provide.

Kassidy: See what I’ve been dealing with?

And then it happened so fast. The watcher and Kora were shocked when Rhiannon threw a drink at her youngest daughter. But Kora didn’t hold it against her. She knew her mother was grieving.

Kassidy: Mom, why don’t you go home and relieve the babysitter? I’m sure your granddaughter wants to hear more stories about your days on the sports team.

Kora: Next time, we’ll visit you!

Kassidy stuck around a for a bit for some peace and alone time with her youngest sister

Kora: Give her some time. Maybe try to encourage her to get back into yoga. I don’t think the Watcher has ever seen grief like this and no one knows how to deal with it yet. So why haven’t you been looking for a date?

Kassidy: Single and Lovin it lifestyle, remember?

Kora: At least go on one date to try and get mom off your back. What about this guy?

Kassidy: I guess…

Kora: and if you need a break from Sunny Del Sol. Come stay with us and bring my neice too. I’ve yet to see her.

[moonspower]

a compilation of vi-isms from recent things, reminding myself that typing his dialogue is an exercise of me trying not to hate this dude because he says so much absurd shit:

❝ Yuh huh. It was so very... Werner Herzog's Sad Beige Wealthy Rave for Sad Beige Wealthy Hotties. ❞

❝ It's true! I was BH Mental Hospital's Next Top Model in 2015. ❞

❝ One time, I went to the club and the bouncer at the door was like AYO, WHOSE BABY IS THIS and they sent out a missing child alert. ❞

❝ Exactly! I'm the mall goth-prep hybrid of everyone's 2005 nightmares. I'm doing Satanic rituals in the middle of a Claire's. ❞

❝ I'm drinking a plain, plain mug of Hacienda La Esmeralda and I have to fight my way through the day while being pelted with... This. Life throws its punches... ❞

❝ If you have to hit someone over the head with a board, use a pizza board. Like, the ones with the long handles. Be careful, though. The way you swing that thing is the line between a misdemeanor and a felony. ❞

❝ He looked at the menu and was like. Can I get the luh-zzzag-nay right to the poor waitress. Maybe it's 'cause my meds hadn't been regulated at that point, but I almost barrel rolled out the nearest window. I was like... You're from Ohio, why did you say it like that. ❞

❝ Don't you think I deserve to get my ass ate in the back of an O'Reilly Auto Parts store, then taken on a fishing trip even though I can't fish and I'd probably just stand there with the fishing rod while wearing a full face of makeup? ❞

[10millionotters]

Drawing baby König is hard because I don’t want him to look like a sad beige baby but knowing him he’d probably want that himself