#don’t ask me to explain why
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Today I learned wonderful new ways to deeply inconvenience the ATLA kids in my fics through the delightfully complex hell of efficient wartime logistics. This time with horses.
Because honestly, in a lot of ways, I assumed that the Fire Nation figured out how to mechanize supply line transport to their front lines, but it makes way more sense that animal transport still holds the key role there.
This means mules and horses and likewise ATLA alternatives everywhere.
This means tons of animal feed and animal shit everywhere; whole groups of animal specialists and vets; constant resupply of new animals to replace injured, diseased, and dead animals. You need supply lines for your damn supply lines.
Have fun, Azula. Army camps stink to high heaven for many reasons, good luck avoiding the rampant diseases that constant rip through the ranks, and mind the judgmental ostrich horses.
#the ongoing saga of navi's niche interests#but the well is dry#gods I love wartime logistics videos#don’t ask me to explain why#I just really like looking at the bonkers numbers associated with#supplying armies with enough fuel food and ammo on a daily basis#I cannot understate the importance of roller belts in wartime#sure atla is a lot about fantasy martial arts magic#but it’s also wartime lmao so I get to be insane about the armed forces involved#don’t get me starts on how rabid the lok clips I’ve seen make me feel#and that’s not rabid in a good way
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Hey, I need some advice. For anyone experienced with kids, how do you deal with young children with hyperactive ADHD. I’m doing well babysitting but I’m afraid of being a pushover and letting these two kids get away with too much, especially when they’re rough-housing.
#ask you#personal#delete later#they’re good kids just very off the walls and screamy which I don’t mind#I generally have a lot of patience with kids who aren’t trying to be assholes#but the eldest brother teases the youngest a lot. and sometimes when I try to explain stuff their attention’s elsewhere#behavior wise they’ll cry or throw small tantrums if you deny them something they want#I’m just being very gentle and trying to explain why they can’t do or have xyz. or I give them something#new to play with to distract them#the good news is they like me. I’ve gotten them to nap#at one point the eldest got too rough and wasn’t listening to me so I barked his name and he immediately stopped and backed off#so that’s good too#but yeah i don’t really know how to explain to the eldest what the golden rule is#oh I showed them bluey too they liked bluey
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The ending is yours…
without spray paint :]
in case you’re wondering why i’ve drawn joel in a suit
#joel smallishbeans#wild life#my art#in case anyone asks. martyn is mars scar is a black hole cleo is pluto joel is earth#don’t ask me why I’m not gonna articulate it well#there are reasons I’m just bad at explaining them
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And that’s how Baphomet was born. I have no idea why everyone is posting this, but it reminded me of that joke I made on the first baphomet post, and I’m so happy to see it finally coming to life.
#jessi doodles#cotl#cult of the lamb#narilamb#true devotion#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#follower narinder#I HAVE TO ASK#WHY ARE SOME FOLKS TAGGING IT MPREGGERS#EXPLAIN#I’m scared mom come pick me up#sex? crown don’t care. HUGE BABY MAKING RITUAL? Nah man.
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Diluc’s pride and joy
Aprilluc day 4 [Horse]
#was finishing drawing this and my mom asked me why i draw the same guy so much#ma’am there is not a way i can explain this to you that would make sense to your neurotypical brain#ughhhfhh#parents when they don’t show interest in your hobbies or skills and in fact lowkey make fun of you for it <<<<#anyway#diluc#my art#genshin#aprilluc#to be clear my dad never did that he always asked me about my interests and games and sometimes even played with me#guess he was too good to be true. lol!
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I already posted before about this (and with this account too..) but seriously, please stop reposting stuff from this blog without crediting the original Flickr uploader in some form. It’s not hard, you can do it in a variety of ways on twitter. I can’t do anything about it, it’s just shitty
#I don’t like to draw attention or anything negative by posting things like this but I’ve had to once before and this is just a plea nlw#also I do not care if you personally don’t think these photographs hold any value and therefore it doesn’t matter#feel free to have your opinion but don’t ask me to explain why it’s shitty you should probably be able to figure that out yourself#if you can’t that’s on you lol
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Me every time I think about how Elain hearing Lucien’s heart beating is canon:
#lol please don’t ask me to explain why I’m so obsessed with this#I’ll never be truly able to put it into words#elucien#pro elucien#elain archeron#pro elain archeron#lucien vanserra#pro lucien vanserra
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I found another old drawing🥹
#traditional doodles#OLD art#leviathantale#utmv#ut au#dust sans#dream sans#dreamtale dream sans#dusttale#little levias weeee#Don’t ask me what dust’s tail is doing I couldn’t explain why it’s like that#undertale aus#Wtf are those ribs-#Can I just say I like when these two interact#Lonely children#Or fish in this case#My art
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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Sorry if this sounds rude, I don't mean it that way, but now that you found the dsmp fic you were searching for could you perhaps take it of the Fawcett tweets blog?
I'm glad you found the fic and if you need to use the boog this way again please do, it's just that dsmp gives bad vibes to some and this is such a good vibe blog that it's sad?
I don't know how to explain it properly, I have anxiety, sorry :(
Ah, I was a bit worried this would happen.
Warning for bad vibes in this post. I’m not very happy in this one.
This ask was pretty upsetting to get for many reasons, but I won’t get too into it because I don’t want to be rude and I’m afraid I may not be able to say what I want to without it coming across that way.
Though I try to stay positive, this is my blog and I don’t owe you ‘good vibes’. If you aren’t happy with seeing posts about certain topics, there is a way to block those tags. Please do that.
I understand that this wasn’t meant to be rude, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
#rant post#kind of#sorry if this upsets anyone#but the dsmp helped me through some really rough times#and it was painful seeing so many people involved end up being terrible#but it still holds a special place in my heart#I don’t think it’s fair of me to let these terrible people ruin that for me. they don’t deserve that power.#and I don’t think it’s fair to ask me to delete it from my blog to protect your good vibes#I had to rewrite this many times to make sure it doesn’t sound rude#but this wasn’t very nice#and I just had to talk about it#I might post something explaining why the dream smp gets so much hate on my main account later
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*slides this drawing over* *disappears into the night*
#don’t ask me to explain how and why I’m still trying to figure it out#❤️ scratchyenne ❤️#self ship fankid#🎨 chy creations 🎨
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people act like wanting to discuss how anya being male would affect the story/the themes erases the actual game from existence, like is gone or somehow cheapened by fans doing what fans do
i think you don't like those (happy) ending baby aus and neither do i but it kind of feels similar where the exploration of possibilites is discouraged entirely or considered disrespectful towards the source material or a sign that the fans don't understand the original message which is such a weird viewpoint to have
especially because i think the game lends itself to these kind of conversations/fan content... bc yeah while it wouldn't be the same if anya was male, but that doesn't mean you can't use a male anya au to criticize the patriarchy/rape culture? it would maybe help some people to look deeper into an au like that especially bc it would require THEM to use their brain and maybe confront their own biases
It’s like a ridiculous thing to be so upset about in my mind because it comes from a place I keep seeing in this particular fan space of people interpretaing personal views as like canon analysis.
It’s a game that deals with multiple sensitive topics on a lot of different fronts and of course a lot of the fans are going to go about engaging with it in different ways. Too many people are getting mad at others for depicting things in ways they don’t like even if it comes from a place of personal experience with the subject matter or other real life lived experiences.
I don’t like the idea that Anya has to keep the baby but it’s not unheard of that victims end up having to and it’s not evil or missing the point to admit that or explore it through an au. It’s not happy nor do I think it’s a post canon fix it like some are deposited as but from what I’ve seen of them I’ve only gotten ones that are real and upsetting and deal with the stress of having to care for your rapist child. Again, the concept of Jimmy refusing to take responsibility and forcing it on to others even when they shouldn’t have to.
With the idea of male Anya and female Jimmy the conversation of autonomy, patriarchy, sexism, misogyny and rape culture can still very much happen. It is a lot more nuanced and muddied just due to how male victims are addressed, if addressed at all, but to think it disregard the points of the game means you have a shallow understanding of all of the themes at play in tandem. The idea it’d affect his life less completely misses the point he would feel a shame and guilt about being assaulted by a woman but it fostering a child. Many people in real scenarios would assume he’s only saying it wasn’t consensual because he doesn’t want the kid despite discomfort and fear around Jimmy. Theres the idea that Jimmy would guilt him to care for the baby and thus her back on earth which furthers the idea of being stuck with you abuser along with how Anya may be compliant because men who defend themselves are still seen at fault. If everyone’s gender is swapped it opens the discussion of how women can be complacent in n rape culture too.
I think a sign of a good piece of media is if enables transformative conversation on the subject matter. I think the issue people are having is not understanding that there isn’t one right way to act in the scenarios we were given, that victims find themselves in. It’s a lot of people getting upset at others who react differently and acting like putting those opinions out there is damaging when it’s just another real perspective someone is either opening up and sharing or trying to depict.
#ask#anon#like it’s so confusing because you don’t have to fuck with it but acting like it inherently comes from a lack of understanding is crazy#the pregnancy can play out in a lot of ways in this flipped scenario and I don’t think it takes#away from Anya’s role to make her a guy but shows that what Jimmy did was deplorable no matter what#it changes the way her autonomy is affected but that means you have to work harder to explain why it’s just as bad like I can’t believe some#one said it’s not as bad for guys like it isn’t just guy Jimmy on guy Anya it’s a complete flip like the bay is still there it won’t happen#I just like I feel like I’m going crazy in this space like damn#any way pls send or asks about anything sillier or different this shit is pissin me off#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game
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manic is my favorite halsey album but that can’t be true because my favorite is also iichliwp but there’s no way that’s true either because badlands is like my favorite but then there’s hfk which is also my favorite and then you have H5 and I’m sure that’s gonna be my favorite soooooooo idk what to tell you
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You’re the resident chilchuck expert, so I was wondering about it there’s any canon evidence that he did smoke or drink alcohol when the kids were younger. I always thought it was something he picked up due to the strain of long jobs, when the kids were already older, but you seem to think differently and I was wondering if there was anything in canon that made you think that way!
Now that you mention it I guess it’s true there’s no evidence he did. Smoking we literally only know he does at all because of one post-canon panel where he has a pipe, so no, maybe this stick-looking thing in the panel below too though, I’m not familiar with medieval blunts eh. We’ve only gotten one panel of him and his daughters interacting when he was younger so that’s not too insightful on that end, and every time we see him young and freckled it’s in a job context so again not really where we’d expect him to be drinking. The earliest proof (/heavy implication since we don’t see inside his cup I guess) is 3 years before canon when Laios hired him, where he’s at a bar, classily placed in front of all the bottles ✨
Yes alcohol is almost certainly a way through which he copes especially with stress, so if we go with the theory he started around when work got stressful, well… Chilchuck started working as a dungeon diver ~10 years ago so when he was ~19, making Mei, Fler and Puck ~6 and ~4 respectively, so from that draw the ‘stressful enough to start drinking’ line wherever. We don’t know what he did before that with any certainty, and it could be he did odd jobs, lived off mostly mutual aid and community work, or just focused on only raising the girls. Half-foots tend to be poor and I see a lot of that in Chilchuck specifically so I don’t think he could have afforded to not have some paying work though.
Alright, so then why do I think he did drink when the girls were younger?
I give a more complete rundown of the info we do have on his alcoholism & his family with panels and references + all the speculation I make from it here. But the most targeted and objective answer I can give is:
Of course there’s just very very little we know of Chilchuck’s life with his family, and I think that’s by design too. I think the details being up in the air is to allow more nuance of the topic, like, will trying to reconcile go well, is their relationship salvageable? We don’t know, because we don’t know. So the message of giving hope a chance even if it’s a long shot, that things could truly go either way, is more relevant, impactful and meta in that way. How long was he usually away for work travels into dungeons here and there? How did he act with them? All we can really do is "it’s likely that", it’s a game of which way we think it’s more implied. There’s no right and wrong answer, it’s all Marcille-like larping the events out.
My main reason for thinking he did is that his father died from overdrinking and Chilchuck is very aware of that. He mentions his death casually in the extra about their stance in alcohol and in his Adventurer’s Bible profile, etc. He acts towards the alcohol presumably the same way his father did: with abandon, uncaring for the health effects, probably happily too considering Chil says "dying doing something you love is a good way to go". Very nonchalant. So you see what I’m saying here right, wether he started early or late, his view of alcoholism is very influenced by what he saw of his father growing up, it’s something he’s always been aware of and saw in a mostly positive light, something that was inherited you could say. It’s something that was normalized to him from a young age. Regardless or where it goes from there I do think this part is pretty inarguable. If he views it positively and we know that in the present alcohol is his favorite food that he loveees, why would he have held out on it? Personally that all makes me think he started drinking very young, especially since I don’t think they limited alcohol to age as much as modern standards (and I mean, teen drinking is obviously still a thing). And here you could argue, maybe his father only started being more alcoholic later when Chilchuck moved out, or something! And to that there’s nothing I can say except I think that’s a strained theory, and that Chil might even have largely cut contact with his family after moving out (since he and siblings are listed as almost strangers and he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to his parents, but also we know he rents out his place to "a relative"), but it’s true we have no evidence. "I’ve picked up the same unhealthy substance abuse as my father haha! No big deal right haha" repeated several times to me just reeks of intergenerational trauma, & the alcoholism gene as they call it. Like effortless sliding into drinking as if it’s second nature, it’s natural after all, it’s normal after all, it just makes sense, it makes you feel good and that’s what matters.
BUT from my interpretation then we have a whole other layer: Alcohol is of course not all bad always. I think he’s always liked alcohol and drank it on occasion and it brought him joy etc etc, but I think here the implication in the question is, how much effect did his drinking have on the family relations and how early? And that isn’t so much about when him drinking started but when the alcoholism started. Addiction is defined by a habitual need, that has negative effects from filling that need (physical, psychological, social, etc) and negative effects from withdrawal. If Chilchuck drinks to cope and he can’t not cope without it, that’s addiction, if it affects his relationships, if it’s a need he has, it’s addiction. Addiction can be very insidious or look very casual, and how much people around the person are affected by it is case by case. Cheerful drunks can be sooo annoying and uncomfortable though let me tell you. Drunks are drunks. And this sounds harsh, but even if people around them don’t mind drunks it’ll still have some effects here and there, living with one can be such a challenge, ily drunks good luck with everything much like Chilchuck you deserve good things 🫡
Ok so with the dad thing and the "ok well maybe he’s always drunk casually but it grew worse with time around when he started working as a dungeon diver" precision made, the other bit of info we have that can inform this is that Chilchuck is on a harsh diet and that alcohol is a hunger suppressant. We know Chilchuck "used to be fine not eating for two days", that literally on screen to quench his hunger so it doesn’t keep him awake he goes to drink water, drinking is his instinct to hunger. Again alcohol is a hunger suppressant and if you want info on that the internet has a lot of research and anecdotes about it. He diets to be light enough to not trigger traps, so it’s something he’d have started after dungeon diving most likely. Between the stress and the diet, yes it’s extremely likely he started going harder on alcohol after he started working in dungeons. There’s arguments on wether two days without eating is less bad for half-foots than humans, but apart from smaller portions there’s nothing that indicates half-foots should get less than 3 meals a day. They need less food but that’s because their bodies are smaller: the need is proportional to the body, not smaller than others’ races, the % of need is similar even if the kg amount of food isn’t. There’s also a popular headcanon with support basis that half-foots run hot and have a faster heartrate and whatnot, and that points towards a faster metabolism rather than a slower one: a bigger need for eating rather than a smaller one. He has the same bmi, 18, as Mickbell, but perhaps because Chil is much taller he’s less intensely visibly underweight with ribs showing than Mick during the bath extra, it’s most apparent when he becomes tallman.
Alcohol is something so important and omnipresent in his character that I have trouble believing it’s something that was part of only a small fraction of his life. It’s his immediate go-to, his no-brainer solution to a good time, I’ve sort of always assumed especially after looking at his family that it’s something he discovered decently young. Like he just acts like someone who’s always had alcohol to fall back on and started young idk. Alcohol is one of his 5 keywords. Alcoholism is very ingrained into his world view and life, his "it doesn’t matter" stance his ‘work hard play hard’ mentality his idea that the world is harsh so you get relief where you can, so it just makes sense to me that it’s always been in his life, if not actively then at least looming.
So yes, in summary, my take: Alcohol was always something he wholly enjoyed to an unwise level, but it could have been considered casual until he started working into dungeons and his need for it on a regular basis intensified. Alcohol has always had positive association to him as far as we see, so when it started being a problem he didn’t see it as such. To quote him, "I drink anytime I get the opportunity to". Why always? Approval of father’s alcoholism. Why alcoholism at all? Diet + stress & coping mechanism & emotional stunting + relationship issues, and she decided she had enough after they went out for drinks.
Conclusion
Chilchuck having drunk from a young age makes sense to me and it’s the strongest narrative angle I see on the table, but that’s objectively a me opinion, yes! There’s no evidence, moreso there’s canon basis and supporting info, but it’s all very left up to interpretation. I’ve made my own interpretations of things from the scraps we see, like everyone else making Chilwife and daughters content. Wether you have a stance on the topic or prefer to leave it vague in your takes, it’ll be a matter of what you think makes most sense, or what you’d rather believe I suppose (which is literally fine)
There’s a lot of subjectivity in even just setting up causal links like you probably noticed during this and I was careful with my word choices, because we’re just extrapolating from what we see and unless Kui states it explicitly from a reliable mouth all we can do is have informed opinions on most things. This particular interpretation is influenced by other details I’ve come to form about my interpretation of Chilchuck too, the more psychological and emotional sides of him and the timeline and how his marriage even happened, unplanned pregnancy imo. Like I hope you see what I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a speculation post just a quick simple answer but there’s sort of just no other and concise but complete way with the subjectivity nuance to put "maybe it could be yes because of this but maybe it could be no because of this" haha
Edit: Wait the phrasing on this… Interesting. "In recent years"— This does imply that if not just his alcohol consumption increasing then the diversity and quality of it did, so either he indeed did start drinking more (not necessarily meaning he didn’t drink before) assumedly because of his wife leaving, or he started drinking other/more different kinds of alcohol maybe due to the union he formed + his experience gave him greater salary than he had previously (and no wife and family to provide money for), a mix of both perhaps.
#Also he’s a lot like my own dad so to me with how he is it’s just an immediate “oh yeah he has always drunk duh of course”#So i can admit to bias. Or to specialized knowledge and authority on analysis idk in which way that tips the balance in my favor or not lol#Dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#meta#alcoholism#This post was meant to be short :|#-slaps chilchuck’s family- this baby can fit in so much projection#I have like 3 chil alcoholism & chil family fic wips rn weeeeee#I’m the kind of alcoholic’s kid who grew up to never touch alcohol btw so like. Ik Chil could not have drunk young i just think he did#Can we appreciate the alcohol opinion & resistance chart actually. So often in media it’s either “alcohol’s a source of fun yippee” and#“alcohol is evil”. Thank you Dunmeshi for diversity of opinion thank you for nuance i rarely feel so seen#Izutsumi deserves to tell Chilchuck he stinks#AND BY THE WAY I hope you don’t feel talked down on anon. Ik you seem to have your own interpretation already & that’s good#sometimes i was adressing like. The General Public TM more than you which is why I spent time on some things like ‘think what you want’ etc#Okok i hope that covers it. Help where does the time go#It’s the sort of thing that makes Kui’s masterful storytelling by implying things here and there until it forms a big picture frustrating#for meta. Like! You can’t prove Chilchuck has been poor/grew up in an empoverished family/environment. There’s no evidence#but also you cannot tell me with a straight face that he isn’t and hasn’t like omg. But then it takes 30 pages to explain how he’s coded#Stop showing and not telling Kui smh /j#Ask#I think a lot about the trolls comic and man he was already so tense and grumpy and yelling. I do think that guy was stress relief drinking
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I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᵕ—ᴗ—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative—#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#🌾#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
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Whumptober day 20: dehumanization/stockholm syndrome/master and servant (full under the cut)
Find the royal au masterpost here
In his efforts to wear Abram down to breaking, Prince Riko adopted a slightly different technique into his repertoire: respite. Abram didn’t get a place at the table - eventually most of his suppers were spent underneath it, sitting beside Riko’s chair and occasionally being relegated some scraps. As long as Abram didn’t act up, retaliate, or otherwise rebel against the treatment, Riko would simply leave him alone. One of precious few times he wasn’t in danger of being harmed for others amusement.
The first time Abram was too weak to fight back or make a comment or move much at all, Riko found a whole new kind of amusement in having begun to properly “train” Nathaniel. And it kept on like that. Anytime Abram was too overwhelmed, hurt, sick, or whatever else, he at least knew he’d get a couple hours of rest at the end of the day if he allowed Riko the satisfaction of a quiet supper with his loyal plaything.
#this one even still hurts ME after having drawn and written about it TT#which usually doesn’t happen usually I leave the emotion in the drawing and move on#it’s weird but I don’t know how else to explain it#don’t ask why this is the concept that does it#I have no clue#not to worry I have a comfort post specifically for this#hopefully I have drawn it between the time I’m drafting this and it gets posted#ALSO IF YOURE READING THIS ON THE DAY ITS POSTED#THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE IM IN THE PROCESS OF MOVING INTO NEW APARTMENT AT THIS VERY MOMENT#AHHH#anyway#fan art#my art#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#riko moriyama#royal au#whumptober#emry whumptober 2023#dehumanization
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