#dom!hyejin

[written-in-flowers]

A Different World: Gwinam x Reader

Pairing: Yoon Gwinam x Plussize!fem!Reader

Genre: Smut. So much Smut. Minors DNI please

Word Count: 12k

Rating: M....very much M, explicit

Summary: Before the outbreak, you never thought you had a chance with Yoon Gwinam, and he thought the same about you. But, once you've both come into a new state of being, a "hambie", suddenly sexual fantasies don't stay fantasies.

Tags: Fat Shaming, Bullying, Toxic Friendships, Dom/sub, Light Sadism, Light Masochism, Spanking, Pulic Masturbation, Masturbation in bathroom, Mutual pining, blood and gore, blood kink, spit kink, rape fantasy, thigh worship, body worship, rough sex, rough oral sex, oral sex (m. and f. receiving/giving), anal sex, rimming, anal fingering, face slapping, facials, cum swallowing, multiple orgasms (m. and f.), multiple positions, no breaks, they're both fucking pervs and so horny for each other, kind of a forbidden romance? well, until all their friends die anyways. ****

You fixed your shirt for the millionth time that morning. You hated how your stomach and chest lightly pushed on the clear buttons of your shirt; it made you look fatter tucked into your skirt. The skirt is a different breed of annoying. Your thick thighs used to chafe from rubbing together throughout the day. You usually pull on gym pants if it becomes too much, but deodorant sticks and your thigh high stockings make it easier to bear. Other girls can wear the pants without a word; you, the chubby one, can't. You hoped the shirt did not pop open from the stretch. The laundry schedule at home meant you'd have at least one day with the smaller school shirt. Fixing it again, you decided to button your blazer over it for now. When you get to class, you can unbutton it to breathe before doing it again.

"Stop doing that. You're going to make it worse," Hyejin said from beside you. "You should've gotten a larger size."

"The store didn't carry any more of it," you admitted quietly. "I need to go there later to see if they have them again."

Choi Hyejin, small and narrow, was one of the two people you're certain you hate. A petite, brown haired girl from an upper class family, she carried the haughty air and snotty opinions of the high society she came from. Had you two not grown up together, you're sure you'd be her favorite punching bag. But since your fathers worked together, and your mothers ran in the same social circles, she resorted to backhanded compliments like this.

"Or you can have it tailored like my brother did," said the girl on your left.

Slender and tall, Kim Soomin was part of the girl's volleyball team and well liked in the athletic scene. Her black hair tied back in a long plait, she wore her volleyball jacket over her uniform, which made her look broader but slimmer at the same time. Another girl from an affluent family, you and her became close on your first day of primary school. That is where your trio-friendship forged, and where it would remain until the end of time. Soomin didn't discourage you like Hyejin did, but you knew why she hung out with you. It's the same reason they both did:

They look hotter when compared to you. Because even with Hyejin's hooked nose and Soomin's height, at least they're not fat.

"I suppose, but my mom might say no," you told her, holding your books to your chest. "She'll just tell me to lose weight."

"Then why don't you? It'd be better for your health, if anything. It can’t be that hard.”

The false concern for your health stabbed another hole in you. Hyejin and Soomin might not be ideal friends, but it was certainly better than having none. With at least these two, you avoided the cruel, harsh bullying you often witnessed happen to others. If Choi Hyejin and Kim Soomin liked you, then you must be cool. However, the trade off is the occasional 'you're fat and that's why your life sucks' discussion. You knew they didn’t actually care if you lost any weight. The longer you remained fat, the better they’d continue to look in comparison. In your mind’s eye, you saw all the boys who flirted with Hyejin at school. They ignored you completely. Not that you cared. Only one boy in Hyoson High School caught your attention, and he’d never notice you. Not in a million years.

"You can always come to the school gym with me!” said Soomin. “I don't mind having a partner and the coach won't say anything about it."

"No thanks. I hate gyms. I always feel people are watching me."

"Nobody watches you, YN," Hyejin scoffed. "They don't care as much as you think they do."

You wanted to tell her that a fat girl in a gym often attracted some kind of torment, but the words caught in your throat. Looking up the path leading into school, you spotted him. Yoon Gwinam. A tall boy with black hair that reached his neck, he wore the school shirt open with a black sweater underneath, likely to fight off the chill. Long limbs made him look longer and broader. You often imagined him completely encapsulating you in a hug, your head on his shoulder and hearing his heart beating. Your heart fluttered seeing him standing in the distance with his friends. He stood, chuckling and smiling when one of them made a joke. You wished it was you making him smile like that. You’d do anything to see it up close. Gwinam is a tough guy; you’ve seen him beat up people with little effort. The sort of guy who’d protect you and care for you above everyone else; the guy whose heart would only melt for you. No guy you’d managed to date treated you the way you wanted.

“-We did it by that old railroad track outside the train stations,” Hyejin’s story broke into your thoughts as you walked. Your eyes kept focusing on Gwinam, leaning against a building near the school. Absent-mindedly, you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, thinking it made you more attractive. “I love it when they groan. It’s super hot when a guy is vocal.”

“I can’t believe you did that,” Soomin laughed. “Especially since he’s dating Aro.”

“Aro should take better care of her man then, if you know what I mean.”

You tuned out Hyejin’s recount, and thought of saying something Gwinam as you walked by. ‘Hey Gwinam’. ‘Morning Gwinam’. ‘Gwinam, please rip off my panties, and fuck me hard.’ No, the last one is a bit too much. Besides, if Soomin and Hyejin saw you talking to him, they’d ask why you did. His reputation around school wasn’t very good; he hung around with bullies who picked on people weaker than them. Yet, it was this bad reputation that made you want him more. You didn’t want to “fix” him. You wanted him as he was, meanness and all. You couldn’t really explain it. Something about him attracted you, and they wouldn’t understand.

“Are you still talking to him?” asked Soomin, amused. “Or have you already thrown him away?”

“Nah, we’re still talking,” she said. Of course they were. You knew Hyejin would eventually forget about her newest conquest and move onto someone else. “He said he can’t get enough of me.”

“Oh my god, you’re so bad.”

The thought of Gwinam only wanting sex from you crossed your mind. It was why most guys approached you: they thought heavy girls are desperate and will sleep with them for crumbs of affection. Normally you reject these guys, since high school boys like to brag. Yet, if Gwinam ever showed interest, you’d crumble immediately. If you put out for any guy in school, it’d be him. Deep down, you sensed he enjoyed the kind of sex you did…At least, in your fantasies he did.

“You know, YN, he’s got a pretty cute friend,” she told you. “I mean, he’s not Namjoon hot, but he’s okay looking. He’s definitely your type. I could set you up-YN? Are you listening?”

“Huh? What?”

Hyejin looked between you and where Gwinam stood and let out a soft laugh. “Oh my god, no way,” she teased, “You’re actually checking out Yoon Gwinam?”

“What?! No,” you defended instantly. “I wasn’t looking at him at all.”

“He’s a jerk, YN,” said Soomin. “He’s a bully. How could you like a guy that bullies people?”

“He’s also a total idiot,” added Hyejin.

“I wasn’t looking at him,” you repeated firmly, heat rising in your cheeks. “He’s just…He’s in my eyeline, that’s all.”

“He’s not even a cute bully,” said Soomin. “You know, like the guys in the dramas. He’s ugly. He’s got a weird face shape.”

You wanted to hit her. Gwinam is by no means ugly. You liked his face, his body, his hair, and everything else. In your daydreams, he liked your body too. He’d spend ages telling you how beautiful he thinks you are, and how much you turn him on.

“Not to mention that ugly haircut,” Hyejin scoffed. “Besides, I wouldn’t bother. It’s not like he’d be into you.”

“Hyejin,” Soomin said carefully. “Don’t be so mean.”

“I’m not being mean. I’m being honest,” she retorted. “Guys like him are total assholes. He’d probably laugh at you and walk away if you confessed.”

“I won’t confess because there’s nothing to confess.”

It pained you to admit it, but Hyejin was right. Gwinam would never like a girl like you. You looked at him one more time as you came closer. He didn't even look your way. Why should he? There’s nothing special about you. Guys never looked at you; why should he be any different? You walked past his group, and your eyes met him for a split second. You quickly turned away before he noticed you. It made your cheeks burn more, simply having him acknowledge you for a second even if he thought nothing of you.

“Ugh, so gross,” Soomin huffed.

“The dude’s a walking red flag. You should like someone else,” Hyejin smiled slowly, “Like Lee Suhyeok. Isn’t he gorgeous?”

Yes, Suhyeok was the handsome, friendly guy any sane girl would like. Yet, you didn’t. You found it difficult when you compared him to Gwinam, who checked all your boxes. Your fondness for bad boys will eventually come back to bite you, you know. It was best for everyone if you kept it to yourself.

“Gosh, I’d kill to get a slice of him,” Hyejin sighed.

“But he’s not into you,” you said to her. A little dig into her made you feel good. “He likes someone else, I heard.”

“That’s because he hasn’t gotten with me yet,” she replied with a sly smile.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to get with you because you fuck any guy who gives you attention,” you heard yourself say to her. You instantly gasped and Soomin laughed out loud. “Oh, um, well, I mean maybe-”

“-Maybe ‘what’? At least guys actually look at me, unlike you. Namjoon told me he and his friends have a bet going, you know,” she spat back. “Yeah, to see who could bag The Pig. He told me to introduce you to his friend, since he said if he wins, he’d split the money with us. Want to know what I said? I said ‘no’ because I’m a good friend.”

“What?” Your throat dried up at that confession. It was always your worst fear: a guy showing interest as a dare from his friends. “So, you were going to set me up with someone who means to play a prank on me?”

“Oh, come on, like you’re that dumb. I told him you wouldn’t fall for it. He’d have to try really hard since you always get all weird when you like a guy.”

“But you still knew,” you stopped walking, and gripped your books tightly. “You were still going to go through with it just so some asshole keeps liking you.”

You wanted to hit her. You wanted to call her every name in the book, and smack her until you drew blood. She thought herself so above you and Soomin. You pictured yourself literally knocking her down a size. Your nails dug into the soft cover of your textbooks, so tight your knuckles burned. Images of you sitting in a restaurant, waiting on a guy who might never come, tightened your chest. You hated her.

“I was going to tell you,” she said, “Stop being so dramatic. It’s not like you’ll go through with it. You chicken out every time a guy comes onto you. I told you about it just now, didn’t I? See, I’m a good friend to you and you say mean things to me. I was only looking out for you.”

She turned on her heel and continued walking. Soomin stayed behind for a moment, seeing your eyes glare at Hyejin’s back. “YN?” she came to you cautiously, “YN, we gotta go to class.”

Why were you friends with her? Why were you friends with either of them? You knew why. Because it was better to be friends with them, taking the licks, than not having friends at all.

“YN-”

“-Fuck off,” you hissed at her before leaving her side.

You blinked back the tears building up in her eyes. Going into the school with teary eyes might attract more attention than you’d like. Crying in front of people showed weakness. You couldn’t let people know you’re weak because then you’d become a target too. Walking away from the school pathway, you ended up in the construction site beside the main building. You aren’t sure what the school planned to make the building, but that didn’t matter to you. The half finished, concrete building remained abandoned during the day time. Nobody will hear you crying. You walked until the sounds of the other students faded into nothingness.

You’re a joke to them. You’re the dumb, ugly fat friend who they can look at when they feel bad about themselves. Every rude word, every mean comment from everyone in your life came rushing back to you. Your mother scolded you for eating more than you should. Your father said he was glad because then he didn’t have to worry about boys coming to his door. Hyejin liked pointing out the flaws in your outfits and Soomin constantly offered unsolicited health advice. You doubted this “friend” of Namjoon’s would actually like you. Not even the boys you’d gone out with before liked you. They always shift uncomfortably or tell you to keep it a secret. God forbid their friends should find out they liked the fat girl.

You collapsed against a bare, concrete wall and looked outside a window frame. Fresh air blew past the window, only just brushing the window sill you leaned against. You forced yourself to enjoy the free air to drown out the pain festering inside you. Visions of beating every single person in your life passed like a movie reel. You briefly imagined Hyejin getting into an accident that disfigures her pretty face forever; you pictured your mother finally dying and being free of her hateful words. Why couldn’t people just let you live?

As you stood there thinking, your favorite daydream came back. Gwinam is your boyfriend, and he hears what Hyejin said to you and what Namjoon’s friends planned to do, and beats them all up for you. In this daydream, you have a protector who adores you; who loves you as you are. A Gwinam who’d burn down the world for you; who’d bring ultimate pain to anyone who hurt you. You knew this Gwinam did not exist, but you comforted yourself with the fantasy anyways. Wiping your eyes, hoping the redness won’t be noticeable, sudden footsteps from the next room made you jump. You listened closely and realized it was multiple people.

“I told you to have the money with you.”

The familiar voice of Gwinam sent shivers down your body. You didn’t know who he’d come with, but you guessed it was his gang of bullies. Visions of what they might do if they caught you in the building, weeping and weak, and you pressed yourself against the wall. You could stay there until they left, or maybe you could sneak out through the window. But, the temptation guided you to the nearby hole in the wall meant to be a doorway. You rarely get a chance to watch Gwinam undisturbed this way. Usually, you’re with one of your friends or in a crowded room, and someone might see you. These moments didn’t come very often, so you seized it. Quietly, you walked to the door nearby and peeked one eye into the main room.

There he was, standing a few feet from a short, skinny boy. You immediately recognized the boy as Park Jisung, a boy from your homeroom. Jisung cowered away from Gwinam, who had him cornered in the empty room. Gwinam looked at Jisung the way a cat looked at a mouse. Your eyes scanned over his long frame; you pictured him standing front of you with the same stare. If you wanted anyone to bully you, it’d be Gwinam.

“I’m-I’m sorry, Gwinam,” Jisung gave a bow, shaking and nervous. “I’ll bri-bring it tomorrow.”

“But I need it today,” he said. He sighed, “Guys like you really fucking piss me off.”

‘Yes. Yes, get pissed off. Make him regret it,’ your darkest fantasies screamed. You pushed yourself against the wall, heat starting to flare up in your body despite the cold wall. ‘Hit him. Hurt him. Hit me. Hurt me.’

“I’m sorry, Gwinam! If you give me a little bit of time, I’ll get you the money. I promise. My parents didn’t have any to-”

“-I don’t care,” he said. “Fucking asshole.”

You flinched as Gwinam’s hand slapped Jisung across the face. Jisung stumbled to the side. Psh, weakling. He didn’t even hit that hard. You looked at Gwinam’s face, anger rising in him as he smacked Jisung around more. If only he did that to you. You clenched your thighs together watching him swing his long arms in each slap. Once Jisung hit the ground, Gwinam’s kicks began harsher and deeper. He looked so hot. Being angry or scared brought out a person’s true nature; Gwinam liked hurting people, and you liked watching him hurt people. You liked how Gwinam threw Jisung around like a rag doll, smacking and kicking him. You thought of him doing the same to you. Guys like Gwinam made you feel small and weak, despite your heaviness. You bit your lower lip thinking of those hands pinning you to the ground, leaving bruises around them for later. He’d throw you on the ground, tear open your shirt to bite and slap your tits before fucking you. No foreplay. No gentleness or kindness. You’d be wet from his ferocity alone.

“Piece of shit,” Gwinam growled.

“What a loser,” you heard one of his friends laugh.

Your body slowly began grinding into the side of the doorway. Nobody would see you in the dimness, surely. They’re preoccupied with Jisung, who wept and begged them to stop. Your pussy pulsed watching Gwinam kick and stomp on him. You stuck your hand underneath your skirt, carefully running your fingers over your sex. It’d have to be quick, but watching Gwinam in the flesh this way made you wetter. Tightness built between your thighs, that familiar arousal burning as your fingers trailed over your slit. The chilling wall caused your nipples to harden, and you thought of Gwinam’s mouth on them. He’d bite and suck as his cock grinded into your pussy. You’d grip his shoulders and arms, nails clawing his flesh as he teased you.

You’d let him take you however he wished. You’d be his personal fuck toy; a thing only made to pleasure him.

“Psh, pathetic motherfucker,” Gwinam spat at Jisung. He crouched down and lifted his head by the hair.

You bit down on your lip as you circled your clit. His tongue swirls around it greedily, gripping your thighs hard and growling from the taste. He stood Jisung up to his feet. He’d do the same to you. He’d laugh at you for getting so wet so easily; he’d call you a whore, smack you one more time, before continuing the sexual torture. Maybe he’d do what he did to Min Eunji once. He’d grab a marker and write filthy words on your body, on your clothes, so people knew you belonged to him. Screw what your friends thought. This is your fantasy, not theirs. Your lips grew wetter, and you pushed your panties aside. You started rubbing yourself quicker. A slew of dirty thoughts came as Jisung groaned, and coughed.

Gwinam spanking your ass until it becomes tender and hot.

Gwinam spitting in your mouth, then calling you a filthy bitch for doing it.

Gwinam tying you to his bed at home and leaving you there for whenever he gets horny.

The climax hits you hard with the usual scene: Gwinam chasing you through a forest, feral and high on adrenaline, until he gets his hands on you. You rode it out on your hand as you pictured him fucking you like an animal. His teeth gritted, his muscles tense and tight, and his cock shooting cum over your face and breasts. It’d hurt, but you’d love that. Your juices coated your fingers, and you shivered as you came down into your post-orgasm glow. Gwinam finished beating up Jisung, who tearfully ran away when Gwinam and his friends let him go. Panting, running his hands through his hair, Gwinam stood there a moment while his friends left the building. You continued circling your sensitive nub, wishing you could go for a second time. The bold fantasy of you offering yourself to him right then crossed your mind, but no, you’d never do that. Then, the unthinkable happened.

Gwinam saw you. He’d turned his head casually; you supposed he’d done it to check if anyone had seen him, and spotted you in the other room. You froze in place, quickly withdrawing your hand from your panties. Due to the angle, Gwinam didn’t see your lower half, but him having seen you was enough. Dark eyes swept down the parts of your body he could see. What if he suspected what you’d done? What if he’d heard you and purposefully prolonged the beatdown? You gasped and whipped your body around out of sight. You worried he might confront you. You held back a whimper imagining him coming over to you, sticking his hands in your panties, and telling you how naughty you’ve been.

‘Insatiable slut. You can’t even wait until we’re alone to touch yourself for me. Do it again. Now.’

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. You heard Gwinam’s friend call out to him, and you heard him leave. In reality, he’d never want to touch you. He’ll no doubt go to his friends and tell them what he suspected. They’ll taunt and tease you forever about it. Soomin and Hyejin would be disgusted with you, because even if you disliked them, they’re all you have. On wobbly legs, you picked up your things and left the construction site.

Your fantasies will always be exactly that. Fantasies. Nothing more.

How did you do it? How did you catch his attention when nothing else does? How do you make this entire world slow down when you walk past him? Any time Gwinam saw you, he swore everything around him stopped for you. Most girls at school didn’t have that effect on him. They were too skinny or too annoying. Gwinam liked girls with soft curves that made him drool. You are such a girl. The briefest of glances from you haunt him throughout the rest of the day. That small twinkle of acknowledgement sent him into a stunned silence for several seconds, if not minutes. So, to see you in that half-finished building, breathless and clutching the wall, inspired a fresh series of fantasies. He thought of going up to you in that building, pulling down your panties and shoving himself inside you. You’d stay up against that wall, shirt open and tits bouncing, as he pumped his cum into you. He loved your tits. And your thighs. He liked peeking at them during class. The desk always stopped just underneath them so he had a nice view. Lord knows what he’d do if you sat beside him. He’d leave class with wet fingers every day.

But, sadly, those dirty thoughts would never come to be. A smart, clever girl who always did well would never want an idiot like him. Girls like you wanted handsome, smart guys like Suhyeok. Gwinam is forced to live with thoughts of you in his arms in his dreams. You must be so soft. You always smell nice too. He’s noticed it before; it’s a flowery perfume that drew him to you. He thought of your laugh as he walked towards school with Myunghwa and the others. He wished he could be the one making you laugh. Visions of kissing you, walking hand-in-hand with you, and being with you clouded his mind. He’d be good to you. Gwinam wasn’t kind very often, but he’d treat you so well. He’d give you anything you wanted; do anything you asked of him.

He’d hurt someone for you, if you wished it.

The group entered the school before classes began, and Gwinam caught sight of you rushing past them. A hint of floral perfume hit his nose, causing him to breathe it deeply. He noticed you heading towards the bathrooms. He smirked. You must’ve made such a mess. Too bad he isn’t there to lick you clean. He shook the image of your soaked pussy from his head when Myunghwa smacked the nape of his neck.

“-Are you listening to me?” the short boy asked him irritably.

“Huh? Yeah, I was.”

Myunghwa scoffed disbelievingly. “Fucking idiot,” he said, “You never pay attention.”

“He was checking out Park YN,” Changhoon, another part of their group, smirked. “I can’t believe you like that fattie. She’s not even pretty in the face.”

“I wasn’t checking her out,” Gwinam said defensively. “I wouldn’t touch her even if she was the last girl on earth.” He considered the feeling might be mutual. You’d never truly like him. If you were doing what he thought, it must’ve been for someone else. The idea alone boiled his blood. “She’s ugly.”

No, you’re not. You’re beautiful. So beautiful. He thought of the other day when he saw you in the library. You often go there during lunch to catch up on homework or to read quietly. You liked reading, he noticed. You’d sat beside a window, and he admired how the sun caught in your hair, illuminating your face. He put the image to memory for those tough nights at home. Whenever his dad called him useless or his mom shook her head in disappointment, he pictured you in that chair. You’d lift your head, smile, and tell him he’s not a waste of space. You’d encourage and lift his spirits up…and he’d kiss you. He thought of your lips and the cherry lip balm he spotted in your bag. They must taste so good.

And he’d never have them. He’d never have you. He’s not supposed to like girls like you. He’s supposed to like skinny, pretty girls like your friends. Yet, those girls didn’t excite him like you did.

Myunghwa went on with some story about how someone mentioned his name in Jinsu’s disappearance. The police went to his house to question him. Gwinam wanted to tell him they’d done the same to him and the others. It’s not their fault Jinsu made it so easy for them; he never fought back until that night. Gwinam recalled the way his body hit the sign, hit a balcony, before finally crashing into the alleyway. He’d never seen a dead person before. He’d been sure that the police might arrest him. They could’ve found fingerprints on Jinsu’s skin or caught him on camera somehow. Yet, they’d done the opposite. They believed the story of them having been out in the street and nowhere near Jinsu’s last location.

Gwinam walked into class on his own, and spotted you in your usual seat next to him. You shared a desk space with your friend, Soomin, but his desk was across the aisle. He bit the inside of his lip seeing you crossed your legs under your desk. A small peek of your thigh high stocking stirred more dirty images in his mind. He liked how a bit of pudge went over the stocking bands; if he ever got his hands on those thighs, he’d lose his mind. He took his seat nearby and did his best to not look at you. He thought about the construction site again, picturing you fingering yourself to him and cumming hard on your pretty fingers. He shifted his gaze slightly to see your chest exactly where he knew it’d be. The combined picture of your thighs and your breasts caused him to swallow thickly and look elsewhere. He’d die of embarrassment if he got a hardon in class, but how could he ignore such a sensual sight?

As Mr. Lee, their science teacher, began class when Gwinam noticed you starting to pull off your blazer. Logic and reason said you must be hot, considering you’re sitting near the windows. But his horny, perverted mind said you were taking it off for him. You wore a tight shirt today, so it showed off the curves of your bosom and tummy. His jaw dropped when he spotted a white strap through the fabric. Your bra, he hoped. He quickly thought of you in his lap, wearing nothing but your skirt and stockings. No bra. No panties.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he dared a chance to look at it. A message from Myunghwa.

‘Wow, you got it bad for her, huh? Bet she’d crush you if she got on top.’

He clenched his jaw and put the phone away. Whenever he felt a new fantasy coming on, his friends ruined it for him. He wished he could sit closer. He wished he could talk to you, and only you. You’re so smart. You answer Mr. Lee’s questions without hesitation and so eloquently. Your friends might be pretty, but they’re complete airheads. You’re the intelligent one. The intelligent one with pretty lips and eyes that made him melt.

Gwinam went through absolute torture during class. Not even amusing himself by bullying Eunji distracted him. Seeing the buttons between your tits stretch from the size, he knew he’d have plenty of jerk-off scenarios tonight.

‘Gwinam? Could you help me with my shirt? It’s so tight and uncomfortable. Please, take it off me.’

He squeezed his eyes tightly and bit his tongue as the signal for lunch rang through the school.

‘The cold’s making my nipples hard. Would you warm them with your mouth? They’re so hard and my hands aren’t as warm as your tongue.’

Fucking hell. Gwinam stood up from his desk before you did, and decided a walk to the cafeteria might clear his head.

‘Oh, Gwinam, your cock’s so big-’

Fuck. No.

‘-Put it between my tits, and fuck them. I want to make you cum using my soft, huge tits.’

He pushed into a bathroom stall, locked the door and started unbuckling his pants.

‘God, they just swallow your dick. I can’t wait for you to cum all over them. I love cum. I want you to cum on me. Please, Gwinam, cover me in your yummy cum.’

His dick throbbed in his hand in every stroke. His eyes closed and he thought about you in the construction building. He thought of catching you touching yourself, and taking advantage of your vulnerable position. Gwinam pictured himself tearing off your clothes, exposing your luscious body, and tasting every inch of you. You’d struggle at first, pleading and whimpering for him to stop, but you’d soon give into him. Gwinam focused on the image of you riding him to climax. Your tight walls clenched hard around him as he rubbed his thumb over your clit; your breasts bouncing in his face until he suckled on one of them. The thought made him cum within minutes. That’s what you did to him. He wished you didn’t have such a fierce hold on him. He wished he didn’t desire you so much, but he couldn’t help it. He’d become completely blind to any other woman he met. He only wanted you.

Coming down from his orgasm, he cleaned himself up and decided to head to the cafeteria. He felt refreshed having gotten you out of his system. He wondered if he might see you there or if you’d go to the library again today. He didn’t care which one. He’d have to keep his leering to a minimum now that Myunghwa saw him looking at you. He came up with explanations to why he’d been looking your way, but none of them sounded convincing. When he entered the cafeteria, he did see you there. You stood in line with Soomin. You’d put your blazer back on, which dampened his spirits a bit. But then again, it might be good for him. He’d only just finished rubbing one out to you. He can’t do it twice in such a short amount of time.

He got into the line two people behind you, and looked at his phone instead. Myunghwa and Changsoon taunted him over what they’d seen in class. They made fun of you, talking about how your buttons must be holding on for dear life or telling him to be careful as you might break his bed getting into it. He wanted to kill them. He didn’t care if they talked badly about other girls; he didn’t want them talking badly about you. But, rather than tell them off, he joined in the conversation.

‘Kekeke, she probably jiggles around like jello.’

This amused them. Yet, he looked at you as the line moved. You styled your hair differently. Usually, you wore it tied back from your face, but today it flowed freely around your face. Gwinam did not have a particularly favorite look; he loved anything you wore or did to yourself. He watched you chat with Soomin. By your annoyed gaze and clenched jaw, he assumed you’re arguing quietly. No doubt your “friend” Choi Hyejin said something to upset you, and Soomin defended her. He often overheard you three talking at lunch or in class. He liked the sound of your voice, so sue him. Hyejin in particular liked putting you down, and you let her. Just like how he let Myunghwa talk down to him.

He shoved the person in front of him out of the way, stepping to them when they protested until they backed off.

“-She didn’t mean anything by it. She only meant that you’re not that good with guys, so she was trying to help,” Soomin said to you as you started down the line. “She didn’t know Namjoon planned anything until he said it.”

“Whatever.”

“Oh, YN, you know Hyejin cares about you. I do too.”

“Okay.”

You shut down. Whatever Soomin said to you left you defeated. He thought of pushing Soomin aside and holding you close. Whatever prank or mean thing Hyejin said to you would be smothered away by his kisses. He grabbed a tray, and began going down the line with you. Seeing your cold stare, and how you avoided Soomin’s gaze, you’d gotten locked inside your head. It happened to him a lot too. Whenever Myunghwa insulted or hit him, or whenever his father called him a worthless piece of shit, he’d sink into the dark, lonely place in his mind. If only he could pull you from it, then you would never feel pain again. Soomin must’ve given up trying to reach you, because then she scoffed and walked away to sit down. This left a gap between you and him. He thought about what he’d just done in the bathroom, and wished he’d taken you with him. As you reached the end of the line, the both of you reached for a pair of utensils at the same time.

“Oh, sorry,” you said timidly. “I didn’t…I’m sorry, I…”

“It’s okay,” he said, picking up one of the wrapped pairs to hand to you, “Here.”

“Thank you.”

Oh, your eyes. He never gave them enough appreciation. So much innocence and sweetness shined from them, yet they hid something much darker within. He could tell. He wanted to say more, but what? Rarely did he get this close to you. He was always worried someone might see and make fun of him for it. But, there’s nobody who matters around him. He saw you turn away from him shamefully. No doubt you’re remembering what happened on the construction site. When he did not look away from you, you squeaked out:

“I won’t tell anyone what I saw. I promise.”

Did you think he’d hurt you? “Good,” he said, bending down to your ear, “I won’t tell anyone what I saw either. I hope you enjoyed yourself.”

What in the hell was he doing? Trying to scare you away? He mentally kicked himself when he spotted your widening eyes. He watched you scurry away from him like a mouse, and it left him disheartened. He couldn’t help himself, could he? What did he think you’d say to that? Gwinam bit his tongue again, then went to sit with the gang. He forced himself not to look at you. Looking at you in front of the guys meant more teasing. He only liked one kind of teasing, and it was the teasing he got from you.

You woke up with a gasp. Your heart hammered in your ears, and suddenly you croaked in pain. You felt as if someone dislodged your bones, then put them back into place. Heat burned behind your eyes, and briefly you smelled blood all around you. Hunger. A distinct hunger rumbled in your body, but something inside you fought it back. Your mind went back and forth between this limbo of cravings and denials before you paused all together. You blinked your eyes a few times as your vision cleared.

It took several moments for you to register that you were soaked to the bones on the cafeteria floor. All around you, you hear gargled snarling and sharp hissing sounds. You heard feet shuffling or skidding across the floor; the cracking of bones made you flinch every time it sounded in the room. You kept your eyes closed, hoping if you open them, you’ll be back home in your bed. But, no you weren’t. You knew you weren’t.

Sitting up, you felt a distinct soreness in your neck, shoulder, stomach and arm. You looked down at your shaking hands to see them stained with blood. You found more of it on your uniform and stockings. You took deep breaths as you spotted the deep, crimson stain on your left forearm. Gingerly, you pulled up your sleeve to see a bite mark deep in your flesh. It looks fresh, as if it’d never healed. But, when you touched it, you felt no pain. The same was said for the scratches and bites on your stomach, the injuries having slashed through your shirt. You pressed down on the mark on your neck, only to hear the squishing of severed flesh. Curious, you poked your pinky into a hole in your neck, feeling no pain whatsoever. How could this be?

“Am I dead?”

You stared around the empty cafeteria. The people who’d been there had not escaped. The blood stains on the walls, windows, floors and tables told you as much. The creatures who’d once been classmates must’ve attacked the others, turning them into beasts as well. But, why had that not happened to you? You jumped suddenly when the gnashing, guttural sounds came from behind you. Your eyes widened in shock. Hyejin. At least, what was left of her. Hyejin, once dainty and posh, now cracked her neck this way and that as she snapped her jaws like a turtle. You saw her front covered in blood, more of it smeared around her mouth and on her hands. Blood red eyes instantly locked with yours. You let out a scream as she rushed towards you, hands outstretched and clawing for you. You shielded yourself in a fetal position, ready to be devoured by her, before you realized she wasn’t touching you. Hyejin, reeking of rotting flesh, only hunched a few inches from you. You heard her sniffing the air around her. She moved her head side to side, still biting and growling as drool came from her yellowed teeth. But, she did not touch you.

Soon, Hyejin backed away. She jolted upright, and began moving from you to the center of the room. You realized she was not the only one in the room. Other students who’d sat in the cafeteria now jerked and stumbled around. You stood up, almost slipping on the wet floors, and waited for one of them to notice you. But, none of them did. They should be charging at you; they should be ripping and tearing at your body, but they did not. To them, you’re not there. Touching your wounded neck again, you realized something: You’d become one of them. That is why they did not attack you as you walked out of the cafeteria.

Nor when you reached the pathways outside school. All around you, students walked around, sniffing and searching for more human meat. None of them bothered you unless you bothered them first. Even then, they only snapped their teeth at you before moving away. It felt surreal. An ignorant person might believe they’re in a dream, but you knew better. Whatever happened here has led to hundreds of students being infected with a mind altering disease. You wondered what could’ve caused this as you walked around the school. Biochemical warfare? Chemical lab experiment gone wrong? You couldn’t think of anything else. You could only focus on trying not to attract any of the zombies around you.

It all came back to you as you walked. One minute, you’d been apologizing to Hyejin for what you’d said about her, and the next a rush of students flooded the room. You’d been the first to stand from your seat. You remembered students screaming with terror as they ran through the cafeteria. You remembered seeing the things chasing them: other students, all of them red-eyed and feral. They screeched and growled hysterically, as if possessed by demons. But, that’s childish; this was something worse. You’d grabbed your bag once you saw an infected student tackle a girl by the wall and instantly bite into her throat. Soomin, the athlete, managed to get to a back door before either you or Hyejin. Some friends. It truly became every man for himself. Hyejin had screamed in absolute terror when one zombie, a large boy, blundered after her. You remember being a few steps ahead of her by then. You’d reached for the kitchen doors when a hand yanked your head back.

Hyejin used you as a means of escape. You’d slipped and tripped over the floors as the sprinkles above went off, causing it to rain inside the cafeteria. The large zombie grabbed hold of you, but you’d managed to fight him off. Another zombie, a girl with short hair, launched at you. That’s how your arm was bitten. But, you hadn’t stayed under her for long, since you threw her off you. You’d gotten up a second time where you watched Hyejin running through the kitchen to the back doors. Seeing it up ahead, you knew instinctively she’d close the door on you if she reached it. You recall leaping. You never leapt before, but you leapt towards Hyejin. Your hands found her long dark hair, fisted it tightly, and dragged her from the door. She fell to the ground with a painful groan. By the back door, you saw the two zombies attack her. You sidestepped another zombie when you realized the back door was locked. Running into the main kitchen, you dodged zombies and screamed when one of them lurched for you. Due to the slippery floor and chaos of humans and zombies, you’d fallen face forward. All air knocked out of you, you scrambled up before a zombie caught you.

That’s when more of them came. You squeezed your eyes tightly as you thought of the stink of death and harsh pain of teeth breaking skin. You’d howled from the nails digging into your skin, and the number of zombies all vying for a piece of you. Kicking and screaming, you eventually caved when one of them sunk his teeth into your neck, the one that was most obvious to you. You touched it again, walking back into the school to the library, your sanctuary. You didn’t find anyone there. It appeared whatever zombies were here had left.

Empty. That is what the world became: empty. Yet, it didn’t feel like it to you. You heard the sounds of zombies groaning outside perfectly. You could smell the paper of the books underneath the foul odor of blood and corpses. Tapping a table, the sound was louder to you. Your ears became sensitive to any sound you made after. You guessed the other zombies, mindless and aimless, reacted to noise as well. Grabbing a book, you opened the window to test your theory. You saw several zombies walking around the fields outside. You launched the book out the window, watching it fall and crash onto the ground. The small slap alerted every zombie within a twenty foot radius. They clambered over to the sound, but growled their discontent when they only smelled more dead flesh. So, a unique sense of sound. You wondered what else your new existence brought you.

This heightened sense came in handy an hour or so later. You’d been setting small fires across the library, trying to see how far your sense of smell went, when you heard it. At first, you thought it might be another zombie, but your new nose said otherwise. The newcomer did not smell like rotting flesh or congealed blood. They were something in between. You took a whiff around, and the trail led towards the library entrance. You’d been thinking of testing out your strength and speed. You saw how indestructible your fellow zombies were: you’d been throwing computer parts at them from above and barely making a dent. You might have a similar strength. You knew whatever being sauntered into your hideout will be your guinea pig. You put out your small bonfire with a wet paper towel, and followed the sounds and smells with your new body.

You made to move, but the intruder stepped out from behind the bookcases. It was Gwinam, except he looked drastically different from the boy you saw this morning. Firstly, he wore a new jacket that obviously wasn't his. Secondly, a hideous, nauseating gash went through his left eye, leaving a gory mess behind. He stopped when he saw you. You stared at him. He stared at you. Neither of you said anything. It was like meeting one of the zombies; you did not have to speak to understand one another.

"You too?" He asked, his deep voice breaking the silence.

"Yeah."

"In the cafeteria?"

"Yeah. You?"

"In here."

"When?"

"A few hours ago. Cheongsan pushed me off there," he pointed to one of the high bookcases, "And I got bit." His good eye surveyed you from afar.

"And your eye?"

"He shoved a phone into it."

"A phone?"

The idea of a cell phone never occurred to you. You could've called for help, but that didn't seem to matter anymore. Who could help you? And if help was called, they would have come by now. "Yeah, the corner part," he said, acting out the gesture with a stabbing motion, "But it's whatever. I don't really feel it. I plan on killing him." He spotted the deep wounds on your neck, and said, "Those don't bother you either?"

"Not really. I thought they'd at least itch, but they haven't," you said. "I tried recording the healing process, but it's very slow. I think because we're still partly human, we can't feel the pain but our muscles and skin react to it. Look, see," you showed him your bite marks, the skin barely together but no longer leaking blood. "It stopped bleeding, but the wound hasn't healed."

"Is that what you've been doing here?" He gestured to the trash can at your feet. "Experimenting?"

"Well, yes," you said, sheepishly. "I want to see what my body is capable of now that I've reached this new level of being. My senses are certainly sharper: I can smell things from at least twenty feet; I'm able to hear things from a further distance too, since sound echoes and bounces. I've discovered I don't die. I can't die. Seeing you now, I'm assuming it's the same for you?"

"Yeah."

You caught him looking over your body again. You became self-conscious immediately. Being undead, you doubted you'd lose any weight from your previous life. Add the disgusting bites and scratches on your flabby flesh, and you're absolutely distasteful. You didn't need Gwinam staring at you like that.

"Stop it," you said, not meeting his eyes.

"Stop what?"

"Looking at me. You don't see me staring at your eye, do you? I don't need reminding of how ugly I am."

"You're not ugly."

You scoffed, "Please, don't insult my intelligence. I know how my body looks."

"I know too, and I like it."

"Huh?" You saw it once you met his eyes.

"Nothing about your body has ever bothered me," he said, licking his lips at you. "In fact, everything about it turns me the fuck on."

You walked backwards from him as he approached. Your heart thumped in your chest, the sound spreading to your ears and freezing your bones. A sudden heat flared up in your body, and you gulped thickly as it went all over. The glint in his eye is unmistakable, and it excites you. Never did you think this would happen. Yoon Gwinam was only meant for your dirtiest, smuttiest fantasies reserved for lonely nights at home. Yoon Gwinam was the forbidden fruit that you'd never reach; Hyejin and Soomin being the ones raising the branch with each disgusted word. Yet, as the world turned upside down, those fantasies quickly turned into reality as Gwinam moved towards you.

"You make my cock so fucking hard," he nearly growled, already unbuckling his pants. "It drives me crazy. I have to sit in class…seeing you there in that little skirt…seeing your tits almost bursting out of your shirt…I know why you wear it that way…you like showing off those big tits just for me, don't you?" The way he walked reminded you of Jisung from that morning. A lion coming upon its prey. Something about this brazen, direct Gwinam caused your mind to wander back into those fantasies. "And don't get me started on those thighs of yours,” his eyes scanned your body and stopped to your thighs, “I love looking at them, especially when you wear stockings…the way they hug your thighs so some pudges out…fuck, you know it does things to me…"

"What?" Your voice quivered slightly.

"Don't act innocent with me," he said, getting closer. His dark eyes full of frustration and lust brought back to the last scenario you imagined. Your arousal throbbed between your legs. "You act all clean cut but I know deep down you're just a whore who wants to be fucked senseless every second of the day.” He unzipped his fly, but did not pull anything out, "You made me so horny in class that I jerked off in the bathroom during lunch. I remembered you at the construction site, all breathless and horny, and I couldn't help it."

He came within inches of you. The heavy scent of blood and sweat reached your nose, and you bit your bottom lip. A sharp gasp left you when his body pressed into yours. Gwinam tugged down the front of his pants and boxers to withdraw his dick. The sight made you wet instantly. Not too long, it was certainly thick with heavy balls underneath. You knew you'd definitely feel him stretching you soon. You already imagined it tearing you apart as he ravaged your body.

"Open your shirt and let me see those tits," he demanded, eyes focused on your chest. "You were so eager to show them before. I want to see them now."

With trembling fingers you unbutton your shirt. Underneath, Gwinam saw the white undershirt you wore stretched over your large breasts. You untucked your shirt so he may see more of you, which he liked. You worried about the gashes zombies left on your stomach and chest, but Gwinam hardly noticed them. He sailed up your body past them and to your breasts. He cupped one right away, causing you to whimper from the touch. Gwinam smirked and squeezed it so you whimpered again. You never considered stimulation before this moment. You might not feel any pain, but you certainly felt the small sparks his hand alone brought. His hands warmed up as they fondled you over your bra and shirt, the temperature hardened your nipples so they poked into the fabric. The cotton fabric of your bra did nothing to hide this from Gwinam, who bent down to bite gently down on one. You made a mental note to write down ‘sexual stimulation’ as part of your human side.

He put your hand on his crotch, and instinctively you grabbed it. You liked the feel of him against your fingers. Even with his half undead existence, his body felt human as ever. You sensed the blood pumping through his cock, and could almost smell it through the thin skin. Big hands remained nearly lukewarm on your chest; their gentle squeezes were certainly stronger than your daydreams concocted. Full lips didn’t skip over the bite mark on your neck, kissing upwards and licking the dried blood. The feeling of his tongue against your skin sent chills down your body. You needed more of him. You continued lightly touching his cock, sometimes slipping lower to the ball sack underneath, which caused several deep groans.

“You feel so fucking good,” he groaned in your ear, still fondling your breasts. “So addicting,” he went back to kissing your neck, “I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“I don’t want you to stop.”

You brought him into a kiss, and you're thankful he didn't pull away. His plush lips caressed yours, carefully opening them with a small flick on your bottom lip. Blood tinged your lips, sliding from one tongue to the other, but you liked it. That undeniable hunger for flesh and blood came over you; you growled and sunk further into his kiss. You didn’t know if a half-zombie could eat another half-zombie, but you found his taste to be particularly intoxicating. You pushed yourself against him, roaming his body with your free hand to unzip his jacket There, you found his bloodied black sweater where zombies bit into his torso. You didn’t mind it. This new discovery only aroused you more. It was as if he'd opened the floodgates repressing your desires. You couldn’t stop yourself.

"Let's get rid of this," he growled between kisses.

He took the collar of your tanktop and tore it open easily. Gwinam groaned at the sight of your tight white bra, which squeezed your breasts more than you liked. He kissed fiercely along them, even giving a bite that pinched you, groping and squeezing them. You kept your hand on him, his shaft growing even harder while you jerked him. The touch made your sex clench within you, and your clit throbbed from the newest sensation. Gwinam roughly tugged down your bra, so your tits spilled over the wire supporting them. He stopped kissing you to admire the soft mounds filling his hands. You whined as he grazed his thumbs over your nipples, the two peaks hard against the rough pads.

"Fuck," he moaned, kissing one of them, "They're exactly how I imagined them to be. So big and soft. I could suck these all day." He took it in his mouth, rolling his tongue around it and sucking hard. He did this to each one since you squirmed at the mixture of pain and pleasure. "You can't imagine," he grunted, nipping at your tits, "How many times I felt like ripping your shirt open to play with them…How many times I thought of taking you…fucking you…raping you…"

"Gwinam…" you whimpered at his words, the filth causing you to stroke him faster. Droplets of precum stuck to your hand and slickened your motions. This only amplified your arousal.

"Like today with Jisung," he flicked his tongue over the very middle, which sent shocks of pleasure down your body. "I saw you standing there watching me hit him. I saw how you panted and bit your lower lip. You were touching yourself, and I wanted more than anything to fuck you. I wanted to chase you down, rip off your panties and have my way with you…whether you wanted it or not. I don’t care anymore.” He sucked particularly hard on one nipple, then came back up to you, “I’m the boss here now. I can have whatever and whoever I want, especially you.” He cupped your chin for a hard kiss, “I should’ve fucked you there. I would’ve given you the fucking little teases like you deserve.”

"What stopped you?" You asked him breathlessly, sliding one hand over his shoulder to feel more of him. You started pumping him faster. "Hm? What stopped big bad Gwinam from fucking the shit out of me right outside our school? You could've tossed me on the floor, fucking me into the dirt or into the bushes with your hand over my mouth-"

He cut you off by grabbing your throat. The slender digits squeezed both sides of your neck, cutting off air but not hurting you. The pain came from the harsh slap that went across your cheek. When you cried out, he did it again to the opposite cheek. He stared at you for a moment, surveying the need written on your face. Your clit throbbed for his attention, hoping your grinding hips might clue him into that. He then slapped you again, then kissed you roughly.

"You filthy slut," he grunted against your lips. "You like that, huh?” he smacked you again, “You like being hit?”

The truth was: yes, you did. The stinging pain mingled with the desire burning inside you. Being in his strong grasp, pinned by his long body, you knew you could easily escape him. This elevated, evolved being you’ve become came with a strength you’d never known before. It made you invincible. Breaking away from him wouldn’t be a problem, yet you don’t push or thrash in his clutches. You instead spread your thighs and begin pumping him once more. From his heavy breathing, you knew you’d gotten the effect you wanted.

“Let me see for myself then.” He stuck his hand under your skirt and roughly pushed your panties aside. You gasped from the sudden invasion of his fingers on your sex. Boys touched you there before, but not like how Gwinam did. Three fingers cupped your dampening center to rub carefully up and down; he didn’t care if you let him or not, your pussy was his now. “Oh, you do enjoy this kind of thing,” he sneered, releasing your throat and grabbing at your hair instead. A quick tug and a forceful pull brought you to your knees in front of him. “I’m going to show you what I would’ve done if I’d caught you. Open.”

He prodded his tip to your lips, which opened right away. The taste of salty precum slid over your tongue and savored the sticky substance. A huge part of your fantasies finally came true. Gwinam kept his hold on your hair while he guided you over his hips. The girth of his filled your mouth completely, and his head hit your throat once or twice. It’s exactly how you imagined. You sucked the hard muscle firmly, a move that made Gwinam groan. You wanted to please him; you wanted his approval and satisfaction. It became harder to breathe once he forced you right up to his base. You gripped your knees tightly as pain started burning your throat and chest. Inhaling through your nose, you tried your best to breathe as Gwinam’s cock nearly suffocated you. You loved it. Something about his dick blocking your airway, causing you to gag and choke on it excited you. Your eyes teared up whenever he held you to him for too long, only moving his tip from your throat in short strokes. Yet, you did not object or force him away. You hummed in your throat as he moved in and out. When he mumbled about enjoying it, you kept on going. Streams of his precum and your saliva started dripping from your mouth, leaking through the corners. You pointedly rocked backward and forward so your tits jiggled for him, and you saw him eye them right away. When he pulled away, streams of it came out and you gasped for air.

“Look at you,” he groaned, tapping his wet cock on your lips and cheeks. “You love choking on dick,” he sneered, pushing his tip into your mouth once more. He kept you still with one hand under your chin and the other on the back of your head. More tears spilled down your cheeks as he fucked your throat. You started playing with your nipples, and moaned around his shaft. “Your mouth is fucking heaven,” he moaned, “Like a silk toy. Because that’s all you are…A mindless, stupid fuck toy for me to use whenever I want.”

Your muffled moans made him laugh. “And, to think, what I’ve become gives me so much more stamina than before,” he continued, shoving himself fully inside. “I can do all the dirty things I’ve wanted to do with you, and never get tired,” he withdrew himself to let you breathe, “And you know what that means, right?” As you tried swallowing the thickness in your mouth, he said, “It means you’re going to learn what happens to sluts who think they can flash their tits and ass at me. You thought you could flaunt those thighs and those tits and that ass and I’d do nothing about it? Hm?” He plunged his cock right back into your mouth, laughing as you cried. “And there’s nobody around to stop me; nobody to laugh at me about it. It’s only you and me, and you make me horny nearly every second of the day.” He thrusted rapidly, drowning out your cries with his moans. “That means you might as well not wear anything at all.”

He pulled out a final time, and watched you sputter and gasp for air. You massaged your throat, which felt hoarse and ached. Gwinam tugged your head back, and rested his balls right on your mouth. You knew exactly what to do. You took one in your mouth for a tender suck, licking your tongue over the curves and skin. Gwinam stroked himself slowly as you tongued his balls; he occasionally grinded into your face so you’d swallow the whole thing. Little moans vibrated over the sensitive skin, and Gwinam gritted his teeth. You grabbed his thighs for some stability, a thing he did not deny you, and buried your face further into his crotch. Gwinam pulled his balls away and had you lick his shaft up and down while you fondled them instead. Your pussy became so wet, you felt your juices sliding between your thighs. You loved how he used you. You loved giving yourself over to him entirely, and being the sex doll he wanted. Gwinam is the only boy you ever considered yourself fucking this way; you knew he had the ferocity, the depravity, the perversion to do it how you’d wanted. Other boys you’d managed to hook up with always showed hesitancy. Not Gwinam. You’ll be his whore and nothing else.

That was what you wanted.

Long, drawn out moans and panting preceded the thick, hot semen suddenly filling your mouth. You eagerly and greedily swallowed the substance going down your throat. It tasted delicious. Whether it was being undead or because it was Gwinam, you swallowed his whole load. Gwinam’s orgasm made him push harder and faster, making your neck and jaw burn from the pain. He didn’t stop until each drop left his tip and into your mouth. You swallowed whatever he left, even opening your mouth to let him squeeze it onto your tongue.

“You’re the perfect cum dump,” he breathed, running his tip over your lips so you’d lick off the droplets remaining. When he spotted worry in your eyes, he laughed, “Don’t worry. There’s more where that came from. Stand up,” he ordered, lifting you with little effort, and turning you around.

Excitement brought out your smile as he forced you to bend over. Your mind whirled from the thoughts going through your head. Spreading your legs, you arched your back slightly for him to see underneath. He lifted up your skirt to show your panties, and the cold air touched over your sex. No doubt he saw the wet spot pooled right in the center, since he then cupped it in his hand. Long fingers rolled up and down each inch of your sex, and stopped right at your clit. Your cotton panties, white and cheap, must be almost see through with how wet you’d made them.

“Your pussy is so fucking wet,” he moaned, one finger finding your clit and teasing it gently. “I thought about it so many times. Even today, when I jerked off during lunch, I thought of your sweet, tight cunt.”

“And I thought of your dick in it,” you admitted, whining when you felt his finger push delicately against your panties. “I want it so bad. I can’t think about anything else when I’m…I’m around you, oh fuck…”

His fingers teasing your clit only caused more wetness to develop. Gwinam then took both sides of your panties and threaded them between your buttocks and folds. A small bit covered your clit yet exposed it to him at the same time. While one hand spanked your ass cheeks, the other used the tip of his finger to pass over the sensitive nub. Streams of mewls, cries, and whimpers left your lips. Every little touch to it tightened the ball building inside your loins. He knew exactly what to do, and how to make you whine like a bitch in heat. Gwinam’s constant torture had you clawing the table and wriggling around in front of him. You thought you might cum from just the teasing alone.

“Fuck,” he hissed, “I could feel that pussy fluttering for me already.” He moved his finger side to side and threw down more sharp spanks to your ass. “I bet you’re dying to have me in there, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” you sobbed, “Yes, yes, please.”

“Please, what, slut?”

“Please fuck me,” you said, tears brimming your eyes.

“Ummm, no.”

Using both hands, Gwinam did not pull off your panties. He did not slowly peel them off and slide them to your ankles. He took the seam keeping front and back together and tore it apart. The sound of shredding fabric reached your ears. He did not remove the waistband. He only ripped it enough to expose your ass and pussy to him, leaving a long tear that went from back to front. Gwinam left your side and crouched down behind you. You felt him dangerously close to your center; you shuddered when something hot and slippery slide over your clit. Gwinam pulled the lips apart and focused his tongue there. You cried out feeling the tip circle it repeatedly; you grabbed at the table whenever he dipped beneath or on top of it slowly. The obscene lapping and slurping from below added to your uncontrollable moans. When he turned you around, your thighs immediately locked around him and with your own strength, you forced his mouth to take your clit. Gwinam gazed up in amusement, eagerly sucking and licking the cunt right in his face. He didn’t stop you from grinding over his mouth and nose; it’s not as if he’d suffocate. That was a perk of being partly dead, you guessed.

“I’ve wanted this for s-s-so long,” you said, gasping when his tongue entered your clenching and unclenching walls. “Oh god, just like that,” you started fucking his face in return, “Your tongue feels so fucking good! Ah!” his sudden grasp of your thighs with a hard smack let out a sudden squeak from you. “I’ve wanted you to fuck me for such a long time. My pussy gets wet just looking at you. I thought…I thought if I teased you, you’d give in and take me. I would’ve let you fuck me however you wanted, as long as I got your cock inside me.” You gripped his hair, soft and silky in your hand, and cried out from the pleasure he brought. “I saw you beat up Jisung, and I couldn’t help…couldn’t help touching myself to it. You being so big and long and strong-”

Gwinam interrupted you by rolling you backwards so your body curled into a c-shape. He pinned your knees to your chest as he wagged his tongue over your pussy. That’s when you came. In a blinding, gut-tensing, muscle-contracting orgasm, you came right on his face. Gwinam only growled his delight at your cum in his mouth. You bucked your hips around, the table underneath you moving slightly, and pushed into his face more. He sucked up all the juices until your clitoris turned sensitive from your climax; it didn’t stop him. Gwinam kissed down to your ass hole where his tongue moved teasingly before coming back up. You're normally concerned with him going from one hole to the other, but not anymore. You’re dead. What infections could you get from it?

“Looks like,” he said, kissing up the backs of your thighs, “We’re both going to get what we want then.”

With total ease, he pulled you to the edge of the table and onto his cock. Keeping your thighs on your stomach, Gwinam charged into you as he liked: hard and rough. The stings of pain did nothing to you. It only made you want to cum again.

“Oh my god,” he growled, squeezing your thighs tightly. “You really must be a whore to take my dick so well. You’re the perfect fuck hole; the perfect cum dump…and you’re all mine.”

“Yes, yes, I am.”

He grabbed your throat, hovering over you and making you face him as you moaned his name. Your lips parted from your constant moans, Gwinam spat into your mouth. He slapped you when you didn’t swallow it immediately. He did it a second time, and you bent to his whims. Then, he gave you another sloppy kiss. You loved the dirtiness of it all; you craved more and more of it. You’d dreamt of this moment for months; you’d desired, lusted, and fantasized about it. When Gwinam grabbed your wrists to keep you on the table, hungrily kissing you, you almost came again. His shirt brushed lightly on your clit which made you weak and shuddering. Biting down on your neck, you winced from the pain, but you knew it wouldn’t last.

“Push back on me,” he said, kissing down to your nipples where he sucked harshly. “Show me how badly you’ve wanted this dick, slut.”

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you kept Gwinam in place as you pushed your hips into his own. His thick cock stretched you pleasantly, bringing you nothing but pleasure as you drove him deep inside. Gwinam stuck out his tongue to let your nipple brush over the flat part, flicking it once or twice or sucking it for you. You purposefully made them bounce in his face which made him growl and grunt. He let go of your wrists and grabbed your tits. His tongue teasing your nipples and his dick hitting that spot inside your pussy brought you closer to another orgasm.

“Gwinam, Gwinam, I’m going to cum,” you wept, the pleasure overwhelming your body. “Oh fuck, you’re going to make me cum again.”

“Good. Do it,” he gripped you by the chin, “Cum on my dick. Do it. Now.”

The second wave made you scream. You worried undead classmates might hear you, but they must’ve been somewhere else. Not that it mattered. They didn’t touch you. Only Gwinam touched you, and he rode out your orgasm in a few thrusts. Still shivering and whimpering, Gwinam ignored your weakened state and tossed you onto the library floor. On your front, air punched out of you for a second before he was on top of you. Without warning, his fingers entered your ass, and his cock shoved into your pussy. You arched your back for him, nearly dizzy from your orgasms and his relentless abuse of your body. And then he fucked you. He fucked you exactly how you’d always wanted. The depravity of the scene made your head swim in the haze of it all. With his free hand, Gwinam gripped your throat so your head lifted from the floor. The slight pressure cut your airway, but not enough that you’d suffocate completely.

“I’m going to cum in all your holes,” he huffed, his fingers knuckle deep in your ass while his dick filled you. “You’re going to be limping out of this library with cum dripping from you. I only wish everyone was alive…then they can see what a fucking…fucking…fucking whore YN is!”

More cum squirted into your pussy, and you couldn’t be bothered to protest. You accepted every drop. “Please cum in me,” you cried, fists underneath you and humping his cock, “Please. I want you to fill each one, please.”

“Don’t worry. You’ll be more than filled,” he grunted, going faster and harder like before.

In a few more strokes, he finished his second orgasm. You took a moment to notice that he did not need a small refractory period. A surprise perk to being dead, you supposed. Not even taking a moment to breathe, Gwinam removed his fingers from your ass and laid back on the floor. You knew immediately what he wanted. You turned around to stuff his coated cock in your mouth, slobbering over it to make it wet as possible. Gwinam groaned, hands going through his hair as pleasure came over him again. A part of you wanted to stay there, cleaning his cock of your combined juices until he came again, but you knew what your lover really wanted. When his cock was prepared, you turned your back to him and sunk down on it…with your ass. This new tightness had Gwinam cursing and moaning your name. You leaned forward, broken panties and skirt over your hips so he’d have a perfect view of your ass, and bounced as much as you could.

Being undead left you stronger and faster. Before, you could never properly ride a guy. Your body felt too heavy and you worried you’d hurt them somehow. Not Gwinam. He handled you with ease, and you had no trouble riding him. You wanted him to cum again. You enjoyed his deep, throaty groans and the names he called you. He dominated you and you couldn’t help but submit. He went back to smacking and grabbing your ass while you touched your soaked, hard clit again. If anyone came upon you two, it’d certainly be a feast for the eyes. The feeling of him fully driving into you, stretching and filling you, drove you wild. You did whatever you could to milk more cum from him.

“Stay still,” he ordered, and you stopped at once. Luckily, it was for him to continue the pace on his own. “Your ass is as good as your pussy, fuck,” he panted, grabbing your hair to pull you backwards, “I could fuck this forever.”

“I wish you would,” you replied, meeting his hips nevertheless so loud smacking sounds filled the space. “I want to be a good toy and make you cum.”

“Oh my god,” he grunted, “Say that again. Say it.”

“I want to be a good toy and make you cum.”

“Then make me cum, slut. Come on,” he smacked your ass hard, “Make me cum with that fat, round…oh fuck, yes, yes, like that-”

The sheer motion of him cumming in your ass had you joining him. You kept going, not feeling exhausted at all. In fact, it heightened every sense. Everything became clearer, and the hunger nestled inside you had you slamming down on him. Once you drained him of cum, Gwinam still did not stop. He seemed incapable of it, and you did not complain. Rolling you onto your side, hands on your breasts, he used one leg to spread your thighs and sink back into your pussy. He let you continue your third orgasm on your own, rubbing your clit and pinching your nipples. You screamed once more as the climax truly hit you this time. Gwinam smacked your clit a few times during it, the light stings having you saying his name. He put you into a scissor position, the new angle driving home and leaving you senseless beneath him. Squelching sounds told you that his cum mixed with yours, and leaked out of your sex. You almost felt it pooling underneath him in every thrust. The new pace and position had you screaming his name a fourth time, and his own soon followed.

You did this for a while. It felt as if all those months of repressed feelings and sexual frustration exploded into this unrelenting, insatiable bomb. You couldn’t stop. You both bit, clawed, slapped, spat and growled throughout the day. Yes, the day. It was a thing you didn’t think possible until you’d turned into this half-human, half-zombie lifeform. Gwinam took you on every possible surface: the tables, chairs, against bookshelves and cabinets. It continued even against the glass doors where the bloody, snarling, stumbling and shuffling zombies went right by. The most exciting was when he fucked you right in the hallway, having you on all fours as he grunted about people watching you both. Pure bliss. That’s all it was.

Fantasies do come true.

***

A/N: wow, this one is wild! lol it's one of my longer pieces, but I hope you still enjoyed this. It's my first Gwinam fic, and I'm really proud of it. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed it <3

[neowinestainedress]

GLIMPSE OF US ― SERIES

— One day you think you have everything under control, a job, the love of your life, your passions, and your friends, then one day you realize that not everything that shines it’s gold. Fresh out of college and pushed harshly into the real world trying to survive, it’s not easy to deal with life. And between ups and downs, it gets even hard to get a glimpse of the people we know best and love the most. But life’s unpredictable, and after all, it’s a journey made to make new connections and truly discover yourself, and realize that time changes people but that doesn’t mean you have to let them go. Everything will find the place where it belongs.

PAIRINGS: haechan x oc, jaemin x oc, haechan x ex girlfriend!oc, jaemin x haechan's ex girlfriend!oc

GENRE: childhood best friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, exes to lovers, lovers to exes, non-idol au, love triangle (but not really, is more complicated than that), fluff, angst, smut | requested (be careful reading these asks [n2 and n3] bc a lot of things were discussed and might be spoilers!!!)

STATUS: 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃

PLAYLIST: glimpse of us

MOODBOARDS: the characters | the relationships (will be out when the series is done to avoid spoilers) | pinterest board (the couples' sections contain spoilers)

TAGLIST: comment to be added | general taglist: @froggyforyoongi, @wingsss45, @tddyhyck

CHAPTER ONE ― GENRE: fluff ― SUMMARY: after a year of drying tears, and three of dating, haechan’s ex-girlfriend comes back in their life and hyejin’s biggest fears start growing again. But everything is fine because hyejin and haechan fit right into each other palm. ― WARNINGS: none ― WC: 4k

CHAPTER TWO ― GENRE: fluff, smut ― SUMMARY: jaemin arrives in korea, and he and hyejin immediately get along. But while he tries to settle in, new doubts creep into his mind, keeping him hooked on her relationship with haechan more than he should. ― WARNINGS: smut, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex ― WC: +5k

CHAPTER THREE ― GENRE: fluff, slight angst ― SUMMARY: feelings that shouldn’t exist surface after jaemin proposes to do something with hyejin after haechan declined, and things start to get complicated. ― WARNINGS: none ― WC: +5k

CHAPTER FOUR ― GENRE: fluff, slight angst ― SUMMARY: heartfelt conversations are shared, and hyejin can only push her fears away for so long before they jump back at her, making her question if the choices made until now are the right ones. The problem is the new choices might lead down a treacherous path. ― WARNINGS: verbal fight ― WC: +5k

CHAPTER FIVE ― GENRE: fluff, slight angst ― SUMMARY: it’s time to face reality, no matter how painful it is, but hyejin is not sure she is ready for it. ― WARNINGS: none ― WC: 4k

CHAPTER SIX ― GENRE: angst, smut, fluff ― SUMMARY: everything falls apart and putting back the pieces to start brand new is harder than expected. but it’s time to move on and address feelings that have been hiding for too long, but most importantly, try to not mess up another time. ― WARNINGS: angst, smut, alcohol consumption, fing*ring, sq*irting, unprotected s*x, dirty talk, oral s*x, switchy/subby hyuck (no dom/sub dynamics tho), hair pulling, kinda hate s*x (there are unresolved feelings coming out), fingers sucking, handj*b ― WC: +19k

CHAPTER SEVEN ― GENRE: smut, fluff, light angst ― SUMMARY: eventually, everything finds the place where it belongs. ― WARNINGS: smut, public s*x, fingering, h*ndjob, unprotected s*x, oral s*x (f receiving) ― WC: +13k

BONUS

© neowinestaindress; all rights reserved. do NOT repost, modify, or translate any work from this blog on any other platform and claim it as yours. you can find my works on ao3 (neowinestaindress) and wattpad (winestaintedress_; currently inactive).

[byuljoonie]

Cherry Airhead // pjm

You want a piece?

pairing: Jimin × fem!reader

genre: smut, roommates to lovers, friends to lovers, unedited so beware

word count: 2.3k

warnings: smut, unsafe sẽx, dirty talk, pet names, c0čk worship, spit play, fuckboy!Jimin, pj bottoms…, oral, (he’s big), dom!jimin x sub!reader, rough jimin, eavesdropping Jimin

note: I put a little too much effort into the plot so the smut isn’t exactly how I want it…hope you still enjoy it 🕴🏾reader request coming next

“Jimin! Someone’s at the door for you!” you yelled unenthusiastically. Waiting for the long haired man to emerge from his room.

“Are you his…girlfriend?” The unknown woman questioned sourly, looking you up and down in disgust.

“No, I’m his roommate. But we fuck sometimes,” you say seriously, letting your ego take over and guide the conversation. If she was going to be rude so were you.

You watched the color drain from her skin, looking like a deer in oncoming headlights.

“Coming!” Jimin bursts from his room with a towel wrapped around his waist. Water still dripping from his freshly showered hair onto his exposed chest.

“Who’s her-“ he said out of breath, stopping when you moved over to reveal the guest.

“What are you doing here, Hyejin?” He said coldly, standing unimpressed in the living room.

“When did you get a girlfriend, Jimin?” She asked looking between you and Jimin.

“Girlfriend?” He questioned confused. You couldn’t hold it in anymore, you burst into a small fit of laughter. Jimin leaning against the couch, trying to stifle a laugh.

“Okay I lied, but I just think you shouldn’t be a bitch to other people in their own home.” You confessed with a shrug, walking past Jimin with a pat on his shoulder.

You entered your room not interested in the argument Jimin was about to have with another one of his obsessed conquests.

After 10 minutes of muffled yelling and the slam of a door, a knock rang through your apartment. Jimin was at your bedroom door.

“Open the door, Sunny.” He said voice rumbling from the other side of the door.

“Oh, now I’m your sunshine. What about her?” You asked playfully, opening the door for him.

“Don’t start. Did she say anything to you?” He asked concernedly, searching your face for answers.

“I’m fine, Park. You should pick nicer fuck buddies though.” You say nonchalantly walking back over to your bed.

Jimin trailed closely behind you, grabbing your arm and spinning you around to face him. You squeaked in surprise, holding onto Jimin’s arm.

“What was that, sunshine?” He questioned deeply. “I don’t think I heard you clearly.” Your heart began to race and you quickly removed your hand from his bicep.

“Nothing.” You murmur looking down at the space between the two of you.

He placed his hand under your chin, gently making you look at him. He cocked an eyebrow in suspicion.

“Hmm, well go get the popcorn ready. I’ll get dressed so we can start our movie night.” He said sweetly, flashing you a gummy smile before poking his tongue out at you.

“Did you eat another cherry airhead in the shower? Your tongue is bright red!” You exclaimed slapping his bare chest. He recoiled in pain, a faux pout now on his lips.

“Hey, I blame you for putting a candy bowl in my room,” he said shrugging his shoulders. “You want a piece?” He questioned teasingly, walking to leave your room.

“Oh! Let’s wear the Pajamas you bought us yesterday. I think it’d be cute.” Jimin said down the hall, not listening for your rebuttal.

After changing into your plaid Pajama shorts and one of Jimin’s shirts, you walked out to the living room to prepare the movie.

“We’re watching horror movies right, Minie?” You yelled while bending over to check the dvd player.

“What did you say, hon- woah.” Jimin said, stopping in his tracks.

His eyes fell directly on your ass, the bulge in his pants growing slightly.

“What? I said we’re watching horror movies right?” You asked obliviously. Squatting down to grab a handful of dvds from under the TV console.

Jimin clears his throat eyes still unmoving. He walked further into the living room, plopping on the couch behind you.

“I’ll take your silence and heavy breathing as a yes. Anyways the pizza should be here soon.” You said standing up to turn around.

You were met with the sight of your best friend shirtless and slightly sweaty on your shared couch. Your eyes widened at the sight, heat invading your cheeks.

Maybe you did have a small crush on Jimin, but how could you not when he looks like a walking art piece?

“I-I’m hungry,” you stuttered out shyly. Trying not to stare at Jimin’s lap.

“Me too,” Jimin smirked running his eyes over your body unapologetically. Meeting your gaze with hungry eyes.

“I’m gonna get some water. I’ll be right back,” you said trying to scurry away to the kitchen.

Miscalculating your step, you tripped and landed in Jimin’s lap with a huff. Bracing your hands on his shoulders unconsciously.

“Oh my god I’m sorry—“ you cried out trying to stand up quickly. Jimin grabbed your waist, pulling you back down onto his lap.

“Jimin, what are you doing?” You asked breathlessly. Going to stand up a second time, only to fail against his strong grip.

“Sit down.” He demanded intensely.

You didn’t move another inch, looking anywhere but his eyes.

“You know, you look very cute in these shorts.” He said moving a hand to play with the hem of your pants.

“I’ll go get you some water, Sunny.” He placed his hands on your waist and gently moved you to the next cushion.

“Thank you,” you muttered quietly, eyes darting from the floor to the print in Jimin’s pants. He noticed immediately, smiling as he brought you a glass of water.

“So what movie are we watching?” He asked casually, sitting on the cushion closest to you. You told him about the movie, stumbling over some parts as your mind was elsewhere.

Shortly after the movie started, you guys ate dinner and trash talked your way through the cliché horror tropes.

The next movie was frightening, sending you flying into Jimin’s lap after the 4th jump scare in a row. He happily held onto your hips, glancing down at you every so often.

You felt something hard against your ass, and shifted uncomfortably in response.

“Hey, stop moving Y/N.” Jimin grunted trying to hold you still.

“I feel something hard, it’s uncomfortable Jimin.” You complained, frustrated and grinding down harder.

The next noise you heard made you freeze. A growl? Did he just growl?

“If you would stop moving so much I wouldn’t be hard, Sunshine.” He stated dryly, “well seeing you in those shorts is also the reason.”

“JIMIN-“ you yelped embarrassed. Hiding your face in his chest immediately. He placed a finger under your chin, forcing you to make eye contact with him.

“You think I don’t know, Y/N. Hmm?” He crooned, looking down into your eyes, his infamous smirk still glued on his lips. The movie suddenly forgotten.

“I’ve seen where your attention has been tonight,” he said cockily. “You don’t think I’ve noticed your eyes on my lap practically the entire movie?”

“I’m not as stupid as you think I am, baby.” He smiled sinisterly, making your mouth water in fright. The nickname igniting something fiery inside you.

“I hear all those pretty noises you make almost every night. Just begging for me to come ruin you.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Park.” You lied defensively, swatting Jimin’s hand away from your face. The memories of your perverted activities flashing through your mind.

“I’m not one of your toys, Jimin. I won’t fall at your feet.” You stated stubbornly, still sitting in his lap.

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N. I’ll make you scream louder than any toy could.” He said grabbing your face roughly. Smiling at the whimper that barely escaped your throat.

“You’re special, darling. Someone made just for me,” he said trailing soft kisses down your jaw to your neck.

“I’ve been longing to taste you, sweetheart. Be a good girl and tell the truth.”

Your breathing had become erratic, Jimin’s feather light lips sending your mind into a frenzy. How could you give in so easily?

You melted into his touch, moaning when he left a particularly prominent love bite on your collarbone.

“Mine” he said, kissing his way up your neck, to your cheek, until he finally met your lips.

Your lips molded perfectly together, Jimin grabbed your waist pulling you closer in his lap. You both pulled apart to catch your breath, a light sheen of sweat coating your foreheads.

“See? I’ve barely done anything Sunny, but I can feel your crying pussy through your shorts.” He groaned, reaching down to grab the hem of your pants.

“I want you to use your words now, pretty girl,” he said running his hands beneath your shorts. He stopped just before he reached your pussy.

“If you want me here,” he tapped two fingers over your clothed clit. “You’ll have to get on your knees and beg,” he deadpanned, kissing the tip of your nose.

You nodded in response, pealing yourself away from him. You climbed to the floor, getting on your knees in front of him.

“Please Jimin,” you began softly, doe eyes trained on his.

“You can do better than that, Sunshine.” He interjected, palming himself through his pants. Your eyes widened at the sight, mouth watering for him.

“Been needing your dick for so long,” you continued nervously. “Want the real thing,” you beg pathetically, crawling forward and placing your hands on his thighs.

He pulled his pants down his legs, trailing his underwear right behind them. You watched his cock spring free, the mushroom tip leaving a sticky trial of pre-cum on his happy trail.

“You want my dick, Sunny? Hmm?” He cooed mockingly, watching you shift cutely in front of him.

He grabbed your face roughly with one hand, craning your neck to look at him. “Open,” he demanded calmly.

He squeezed your cheeks forcing your mouth open. Spitting into it as if he owned you. “Now swallow.”

He smiled happily at you, enjoying the control he had over your actions. “You can taste it, baby.” He said releasing your face with a quick kiss to your nose.

You pushed up on your knees, reaching forward to finally come in contact with his member. Your hand was too small to fit the whole thing.

You wrapped both hands around it, letting out a shaky breath before taking him into your mouth.

“It’s s-so big,” you mewled, hands sticky and furiously moving up and down his shaft. He groaned at your words, loving the attention.

“Tastes so good,” you said before engulfing him again. The sound of him fucking your throat filling the living room.

“Shit—you’re so good at sucking my dick Y/N.” Jimin said moaning at the sight of your bobbing head. “Don’t wanna cum yet, hold on Sunny,” he grunted. You removed your head in frustration, missing the taste of him on your tongue.

He reached down to pull you back into his lap, planting a kiss on your lips. “Good job, princess.”

“Strip for me, Y/N.” Jimin demanded tugging on the waistband of your shorts.

You shakily stood up from his lap, quickly removing the plaid shorts for him. Gripping your forearm nervously as Jimin inspected every inch of your exposed skin.

“You look delicious, Sunny.” He said lazily stroking his cock, eyes still focused on your body.

He motioned for you to lay on the couch, sitting back to give you more room. You did as you were told, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as he towered over you.

“I’m gonna fuck you in these, so precious.” He whispered hotly in your ear, toying with your panties. Sliding then to the side, he began rubbing small circles across your clit.

Hushing you after a string of moans escaped your lips. “This my shirt?” He questioned, running his other hand under the soft fabric. His hand gliding across your skin effortlessly, like he already knew the map of your soul.

You nodded, feeling his hair brush against your cheek at the motion. He hummed in delight, grabbing your breast and squeezing.

You felt the tip of his cock graze against your clit, making you to shudder under him. He started to grind against you, sending waves of shock running through your body.

“Mmfp—can’t take it anymore, need you” Jimin flexed his hips forward, groaning as your pussy engulfed him.

You whimpered at the stretch, tears clouding your vision at the feeling. You wrapped your arms around his neck loving the way he grunts in your ear.

“So soft and hot, Sunny. Could fuck you all day.” He said pulling out slightly. Rocking forward before he could miss the contact of your skin.

“Please fill me up, Jimin.” You begged into his neck, “don’t wanna be empty.”

He chuckled at your words, his smile quickly being replaced with an “O,” expression. You clenched around him again, relishing in the whimper he released.

He swallowed another whimper, rhythmically slapping his hips against yours. He placed a hand on your lower stomach, pressing down for your reaction.

A symphony of moans rang through your living room. The obscene squelching and slapping sounds drawing you closer to your orgasm. You felt your stomach bulge with every thrust, your legs wrapping around his waist.

“Gonna paint your pretty tummy with my cum, baby.” He placed a hand over your head to brace himself. Slamming back into you aggressively.

You screamed in pleasure, clawing at his back in desperation. You felt your orgasm wash over you. Jimin not easing his movements.

“Fuck—so good for me,” he grunted. “Love watching your pretty face, Y/N.”

You blushed in response, mind and body still reeling from Jimin’s touch. You felt his thrusts become sloppy, a guttural growl coming from his lips as he slipped from inside of you.

He eagerly squeezed his cock, stroking it rapidly as he watched your ruined body underneath him. His eyes closed momentarily, his hips stuttering as he came on your stomach.

Your chests heaved with heavy breathing, Jimin grabbing a towel from the kitchen to clean you up.

“Round 2 in the shower?”

The end.

(Sorry it was short, just supposed to be a quick smut.) (There will be a pt.2)

[itsbeeble]

Down? Astronomically.

Summary: Sangyeon doesn't like sweets. That doesn't stop him from visiting you and your bakery every single thing and leaving with the one thing he hates.

Genre: smut, fluff, mild angst

Pairing: idol!Sangyeon x bakery owner!afab!reader

Fic Warnings: Sickeningly sweet (bah dum tsss) fluff, strangers to simps to lovers, mild mild angst, mentions of food, Sangyeon's cringey as hell actually (like he's down BAD down bad)

WC: ~6.4k (oops)

18+ MDNI, AGELESS BLOGS DNI

SMUT WARNINGS BELOW THE CUT

Smut Warnings: y/n definitely has an oral fixation, soft dom!Sangyeon, pussy drunk!Sangyeon, y/n drunk!Sangyeon (he’s down astronomically bad your honor), he’s like obsessed with everything about her, public sex (they fuckin in the bakery 💪 but it’s closed and the lights are (mostly) off lmfao), standing by big dick!Sangyeon until the day I die, hair pulling, tummy bulge bc why not, lowkey size kink hdjgfsj, uhhhh p in v sex (protected. yall better wrap that shit); i think that's it but lmk if i missed anything.

A/N: 5 months and 6.4k words later and this sangyeon rec is done. anon i'm so sorry for the wait i'm so horrible. Also thank you to pookie (Fawn) for beta reading half of this but she had to bail and I told yall 3:30 so.... yuh. Also this is the first time I've written smut since Doll so please don't be harsh on me i'm sorry if it's bad

~

Sangyeon doesn’t exactly know when he started coming to your bakery. He doesn’t even like sweets, so why does he keep showing up in the dead of night and leaving with several boxes filled with sweets and a piece of cake stuffed into his mouth?

You.

Gorgeous, kind, brilliant, sweet, you. Coincidence? He thinks not. 

At first, he’d started going because Eric had recommended the coffee. And then he met you, stumbling out of the kitchen with a smear of pink frosting on your cheek, a dye-stained apron, and strands of hair slipping out of your tight bun and clinging to your forehead. He didn’t believe in love at first sight, but seeing you in that near-disastrous state, yelling at the poor cashier? God, maybe he should start believing. 

Down bad, Sunwoo had called him a while ago when Sangyeon had dragged him along on his nightly coffee trip. Down horrendous, actually. Sangyeon had forced him to carry all four boxes of treats you’d sent home with him, ignoring how the younger member of the group had whined about how sore his arms were going to be. No, he didn’t pay any attention as he sent the boy along. All of his attention was on you, watching you wipe down the counter and talk about how busy your day had been. 

In the end, he’d only left because Jacob kept calling, begging him to come back to the company to get the boys back in order. 

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite regular!” You’re beaming at him when he walks in the door, your hand placed on the shoulder of Hyejin, a younger and newer employee. You shooed her away, ignoring her questioning of who this mysterious man with a hat and mask on was. When the door to the kitchen shuts and you’re sure she isn’t coming back out, you circle the counter to stand in front of Sangyeon. “I’m assuming you want your normal order?” 

Sangyeon ignores the buzzing in his body when you call him your favorite.

Sangyeon quirks an eyebrow, and though his face is hidden for the most part, you can see his hat shift with the tensing of the muscles in his forehead.

“You have my order memorized?” His tone is teasing, and you feel your cheeks warm. 

“Well, I mean- you just- you’re here every day, and- and I just-” you stumble over your words, a low laugh from the man in front of you causing your cheeks to go from pink to red in an instant.

“I’m kidding,” Sangyeon promises, nudging your side with his elbow while he moves to the register. “I think I would be offended if you didn’t know my order by now.” You hum, a delicate and angelic sound that has Sangyeon feeling fuzzy. He forces the feeling away, tapping his card on the screen in front of him. It lags for a moment, and you awkwardly tap the screen to get it to move faster. Sangyeon smiles, watching you repeatedly try to tuck nonexistent hairs behind your ear. 

He leans forward, placing his elbows on the counter and peering up at you. You don’t meet his eyes.

“Do I make you nervous, Y/N?” You shake your head, and he clicks his tongue. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not nervous,” you insist, now slapping the screen, “this stupid thing is just- it’s just slow and I feel bad about taking up your time. I know you’re really busy-” 

Sangyeon cuts you off again. “I’m never too busy for you, cupcake.” You freeze, and the machine dings. Sangyeon’s eyes squeeze shut. Why the fuck would you say that? What moron says that?

“I-” you pause, drumming your fingers on the counter. “Your order will be out in a few minutes. Hyejin will bring everything to you.” 

He inhales, ready to apologize, but you’re gone by the time he can form words. The swinging kitchen door is his only indicator of where you’ve gone, and he mentally kicks himself. 

Across the counter, Hyejin clears her throat. 

“Iced latte for…Yeonnie?” Her voice lifts at the end, almost disturbed at the name on the cup. Sangyeon walks over, hesitantly grabbing the drink. “I’ll be right out with your boxes.”

“Not necessary,” he shakes his head. “I don’t need them-”

“Too bad,” the young girl purses her lips. “Y/N won’t let me leave until they’re gone so…”

“Oh…”

“Plus, I’m pretty sure she makes so much extra because you love her baked goods.” Hyejin stares him down, and he shuffles his feet. 

“Yep…that’s…that’s true,” an awkward laugh, “the one who really loves baked goods…” 

Sunwoo was right. He’s down astronomically bad.

~

“You’re such a fucking loser, you know that right?” Hyejin scrubs a baking tin furiously, grumbling about how these stupid drops of batter are gonna be the death of her. “Running away and giggling like someone my age because he called you cupcake.” You glare at her. She continues to scrub at the pan. “Do you even know anything about him?”

“Who even asked you?” His birthday is November 4th. I remember because he knew his friends were planning a surprise party for him.

“Nobody. I’m just the unfortunate soul who has to sit here and witness your gag-worthy flirting with Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome.” You throw down your rag.

“I’m not flirting with him! He’s a paying customer!”

“Mhm. A paying customer who you wanna fuck sooooo bad.” She smirks at you, and whether mocking or not you know she’s right. Would you ever admit that to her face? Absolutely not. 

“You know what-” You pick up your rag and jab a finger in her direction. “If you keep this shit up I’m cutting your hours down.”

“Do that and I’m telling Yeonnie that you want him inside of you. Call it a taste tester or whatever.” 

“You know what,” your face is burning up again and your grip on the rag tightens. “Get out.” 

“Nope.” Hyejin sets down her sponge and smiles at you. “I’m not leaving until I’m scheduled to leave. Unless we finish early, that is. So you better make a plan to jump this guy’s bones before I help him instead.”

Your rag hits the ground, a groan rises from your throat. And yet…you can’t help the smile that pulls across your lips. You can’t help the warm feeling in your chest that blooms with every thought of this masked customer who only ever goes by Yeonnie, even if you don’t know what he looks like under that mask and hat of his.

~

“You called her what?” Kevin reels back, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped. Sangyeon cringes. 

“Yeah…”

“Why would you say that? That’s like…textbook ‘do not call a woman this unless she’s your wife!’” 

“You think I don’t know that?” Sangyeon flings himself back on the studio floor, a loud thump echoing around him. The other boys had left a few minutes ago, and, oddly enough, Kevin was the only one he trusted enough to tell this to. “God, I’m such a moron.”

“No,” Kevin coos. Sangyeon frowns, rolling his head on the ground to look at him. “You’re just a dumbass who-” Sangyeon flings his foot out reaching to kick Kevin. “Whoa, hey, let me finish!”

“You’re just gonna make fun of me!” Sangyeon whines. 

Kevin purses his lips.

“For a 26-year-old man, you sure are childish.”

“Are you gonna help me fix this or not, Kevin?”

Kevin hums. 

“Operation Sangyeon-does-get-bitches is a go!”

“Call it that again and I’m getting you kicked out of the group.”

~

“So,” Hyejin leans against the counter while you mix up the batter for a cake. “Has Yeonnie come in yet?” 

You purse your lips, carefully pouring part of the dry ingredients into the stand mixer. 

“He doesn’t come in until later usually.” 

“You must be so disappointed.” You don’t respond. 

Truthfully, it is disappointing. Sure, you know he’ll be coming in later on. You know that he’s likely going to be your last customer and for that, you’re relieved. However, the wait has you picking at the skin around your nails. Anxiety builds inside of you. Cupcake is what he had called you. Just a small amount of affection, and for that you had shut down. What if running away had sent the wrong message? What if he thought you hated him and were just being nice? “You shouldn’t stress so much,” Hyejin stops the stand mixer, taking the empty bowl of dry ingredients from your hand. “You’ll overmix the batter and then the cake will be gross.”

“A professional, are we?” A lighthearted smile passes over your lips. Hyejin shrugs. 

“I’m here to learn, aren’t I? I’m not gonna get through culinary school by working at a gas station.” 

“That’s true.” 

“Anyway,” she huffs and grabs a tray of macarons, “just remember the plan and he’ll fall right back in love with you. Guaranteed.”

“How do you know?” You pour the cake batter into a few baking tins, ensuring that all are evenly layered. 

“Have you seen how he looks at you?” She scoffs. “That man clearly couldn’t care less about the sweets you give him. He’s here for you and the coffee. Not the cakes or the cookies or the brownies. He’s here for you. No one comes in that often for some baked goods.”

Have you seen the way he looks at you? Yes. You had. Just briefly, though, when his hat had lifted enough for the light to pass over his eyes. The corners were crinkled, clearly smiling under the mask. You’d thought he looked so pretty, even if you couldn’t truly see his face.

You knew him as Yeonnie. That’s the name he had requested the first few times he came into the bakery. He didn’t give you a full name, and you joked that what he gave you sounded like something you’d name your dog. He’d laughed, and when he did it had been like the air was punched out of you. It was such a beautiful sound, and somewhere deep in your mind, you had vowed to make him laugh every time you saw him. 

Then he was showing up every day, asking about what didn’t sell very much that day. Every day he would buy them all. And every day, you cracked a joke that had you hearing that gorgeous laugh of his. 

Never, however, had he called you anything but your name. Maybe you cared a bit too much about what he thought of you. Maybe you cared a little bit too much about the smudges of frosting on your face, the sweat-slicked strands of hair that clung to your hair after being in the kitchen all morning and afternoon, preparing for the next day’s pastries. 

Never had you hidden from a man you loved, even if he didn’t quite know it yet.

~

“So,” Sangyeon leans against the counter, watching you get his drink ready. “Anything exciting happen today?” His hands are shaking, but he hides it by drumming his fingers against the counter. You’d been quieter than usual, ducking your head whenever he looked at you.

Now he was worried that he made you uncomfortable.

“Not really,” you shrug, cupping your hand around the rim of the go-cup to prevent too much splashing as you add a bit more ice. “It was kinda busy, but it was bearable.”

“That’s good,” Sangyeon nods, tugging his mask further up his face. He peers around you, squinting as he searches for Hyejin through the window on the kitchen door. “Where’s Hyejin today?” You shrug.

“I sent her home early. We slowed down a lot about an hour ago and I had already gotten a lot of things done so I told her to head home.” 

“So you’re here alone?” Sangyeon frowns. “That can’t be safe.”

“I mean…” you run your tongue over your lips, “I dunno. I do it all the time.”

“You shouldn’t.” Sangyeon frowns, “This is a big city, what if something happened to you?” 

“You saying you’re worried about me, Yeonnie?” You lean toward him, your lips twitching up. 

“Sangyeon.” He blurts his name out before he can stop it. You blink, your eyebrows knitting together.

“What?”

“My…my name.” He takes a deep breath. “It’s Sangyeon. Not Yeonnie.” 

You nod, frowning.

“Why didn’t you just tell me your name in the first place?” He inhales, shaking his head.

“It isn’t that simple, cupcake.” 

“Why not?” You drum your fingers on the marble countertop. “It seems pretty simple to me. I ask for the name of the order, and you say ‘Sangyeon.’ Easy peasy.” 

Sangyeon can’t help but laugh. He can’t help the disbelief at how calm you are. Sure, the reveal of his actual name isn’t that big of a deal. Maybe you thought he was just uncomfortable around people. A bit socially awkward.

The smile returns to your lips. 

“Can I ask something?” He nods, leaning on the counter to look you in the eye. The hat casts a shadow over his face, but you can see that little crinkle that you’d been longing to see up close since the first day you met him. “Why do you wear this…” you wave your hand at him. “This little get-up?” 

He falls quiet, and for a moment you think you’ve made him uncomfortable.

“I…I’m sorry, Sangyeon. I don’t- I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t apologize.” He cuts you off, and your mouth shuts. “I just…I didn’t want your opinion of me to…to change. If you saw my face, that is.” 

“If I saw your face,” you echo. “What, are you famous or something? Oooh, are you an idol?” 

Boom, right on the money.

You can see the emotions in his eyes. The fear, the shock, the confusion, the nerves. You can see his hands clenching around his coffee. A pit forms in your stomach, growing larger and larger as he shuffles back. Toward the door. 

Away from you.

“Sangyeon…” you speak slowly when you circle the counter. “Are you…”

“I have to go,” he spits out. “I’m s- I just…I’m sorry. I have to go. I’m just-” his breathing is shaking, and he back into the wall. Sangyeon stumbles, whipping around and shoving through the door before you can say another word. 

And after all that…you couldn’t even give him the cake you’d planned on giving him for his birthday.

~

Sangyeon is pacing. His footsteps are quiet, muffled by the carpet beneath his feet. His hair is in disarray from hours of tugging at the strands. 

Kevin is sitting on his leader’s bed, eyes drooping and his head resting on one of his hands.

“Dude,” Kevin pinches the bridge of his nose. “You do know that she probably thinks she messed up somehow, right?”

“God, I just keep making things worse.” Sangyeon groans loudly, kicking away one of the shirts lying on the floor. 

“I love that I get to sit back and watch you ruin your love life before it begins.” Kevin stretches his arms above his head, his eyes squeezing shut and a yawn fighting to leave his mouth. 

“Gee, thanks Kev.” Sangyeon scowls, throwing his body face-down onto the mattress. Kevin shifts to the side, patting the older man’s shoulder.

“I’m just speaking the truth. You shouldn’t have reacted like you did. What happened to being in love with her? Did you really think she would expose you for being an idol?” 

A tough question. Sangyeon would like to say that the answer to that question is yes. He would love to trust you with his whole being, with every fiber in his body, but he’s been burned before. He’s been burned, and he doesn’t want it to happen again. 

“I just…I got scared, I think.” Sangyeon’s hands fold under his cheek, his voice slightly muffled. “I just got so scared because I care about her so much, but what if…what if she isn’t…” his voice trails off.

“She isn’t like Nabi.” Kevin frowns. “Is that what you were worried about? That she was like Nabi?” 

“I…I think so.” 

Another pregnant pause between the two of them. 

“Here’s what you’re going to do. And this time you are going to listen to me and you are going to follow every bit of my instructions no matter what happens. You are going to do this tomorrow. You aren’t going to let this simmer. You are going to go there tomorrow night, you’re going to apologize, you’re going to confess, and you’re gonna have amazing sex, badabing badaboom, we get our free pastries.” 

“There’s no way you’re just helping me because you want free baked goods.” Sangyeon clicks his tongue, rolling onto his back. Kevin scoffs.

“Who do you think I am, Juyeon? No, I’m helping you because we need you to get laid and fucking relax.”

“Somehow that’s even worse.”

“Yeah, well you’ve been up our asses with this next comeback on the rise. Now are you gonna listen to me or are you gonna fuck up again and make us all miserable with your moping?” 

Sangyeon bites his tongue, fighting back a retort. “I’ll listen.”

~

“What are you doing here?”

Sangyeon practically cowers under the weight of Hyejin’s gaze. Her eyes are narrowed, her lips drawn into a thin line. He’s abandoned the mask and the hat. The only thing shielding him now is the hood of his sweatshirt. 

“I need to talk to Y/N.”

Hyejin snorts. “You think she wants to talk to you after what you did?” 

Regret boils inside of him, and he digs the nail of his thumb into his pointer finger. 

“Please, Hyejin. I just- I just need to talk to her.” He watches the college student think. Watches her consider her options.

“Wait here. I’ll go see if she wants to talk to you.”

“Thank you, Hyejin. God, thank you-”

“Don’t thank me,” she snaps. “I’m not doing this for you, so don’t thank me.”

~

You’re in the back, listening to the conversation just outside the door. Your hands tug at the edge of your apron, your eyebrows knitting together. 

“Do you want to talk to him?” Hyejin is careful to speak only when the door has stopped swinging, her voice hushed and her hand resting on your arm. “I won’t force you to go out there, and I can stay longer if you don’t want to be alone.” 

You smile, placing your hand over hers. For the shit you two give each other, she’s one of the few people you can rely on.

“It’s fine, Hyejin. You can go home.”

“You sure?” 

No. “Positive.”

~

It’s dark in the bakery. The blinds have been drawn shut, the door locked and most of the lights turned off. Sangyeon stares at the box you place on the table in front of him. Your eyes are trained on the ground, your teeth digging into the plush flesh of your lip. 

“What- what did you make tonight?” His voice cracks, and he grimaces while clearing his throat. What a great start, dumbass.

“A cake.” The statement is cold, and he gnaws on his lip. “For you.”

“For me?” He echoes, tugging it closer to his side of the table. You place your hand on top of the box, pulling it back toward you. He drops his hands back to his sides. 

“Not right now. Not until you explain what the hell happened last night.”

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. You flinch, your body curling in on itself. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“Why did you run off?” Your voice is quieter than he’d ever heard it, and he has to strain to pick up the words you’ve said. “Why…why did you leave?”

“I don’t- I swear it isn’t your fault, cupcake.” Another flinch, and he snaps his mouth shut. 

“Then why did you run?” You lift your eyes, and he can see the tears waiting to fall. He can see you fighting to keep them at bay, to keep calm. 

“I…” Sangyeon sighs. “It’s a long story. One that…that I didn’t really want to have to tell you. Not yet, at least. Not like this.”

“You don’t trust me, do you?” Your voice shakes, and Sangyeon shakes his head, one of his hands reaching forward to touch your own. He hesitates, his hand partway across the table before he decides against touching you. “It’s okay if you don’t. I get it. Fans are…they’re crazy these days, I know.” You try to laugh, but you break off into sniffles.

“I trust you, Y/N,” Sangyeon protests. “I really trust you. I ran off because…because I didn’t want this to end like the last time I trusted someone.” He drags a hand down his face, laughing in disbelief. “My last relationship was rough. I thought I could trust her, and she…she betrayed me. So because of that, I was scared.”

“Of what?” You press. “Letting go of the past? Loving me?”

“Yes!” He exclaims, erupting from his seat and running his hands through his hair. “Fuck, Y/N, I love you so much that it hurts. All I ever want to do is hold you, and kiss you, and- and-” he shakes his head, and you rise from your seat. “It drives me crazy because you make me so happy to see you excited to give me things that I don’t even like but I take anyway because I just love you so fucking much. And- and I’ve wanted to tell you everything for so long but I just- I couldn’t-” 

His lips are soft, you think when you kiss him. They’re soft, although slightly chapped. He’s frozen in place, his hands hanging in mid-air on either side of your body. He remains like that and you pull back, afraid that you misinterpreted everything.

He doesn’t let you get very far, his arms wrapping around your midsection and yanking you back into him. 

~

It’s so soft, the way he kisses you. Sangyeon doesn’t move too fast, cautious and hyperaware of everything around the two of you. His hands have untied the apron around your waist, tossing it somewhere amongst the tables and he’s placed you up on the counter. His hands are all over you: moving up and down your back, caressing your cheeks, squeezing at your hips, running over the tops of your thighs and through the strands of hair that he’s tugged out of the claw clip. 

His tongue is in your mouth, but he’s not using any force. Sangyeon lets you take the reins, set the pace. Whatever you want, he’ll give you. He’s yours. He lets your tongue prod at his own, lets you suckle at the wet muscle to your content. Your body is shaking against his own, and a smile crosses over his lips. 

Sangyeon pulls his mouth from yours, his smile widening when you whine and chase his lips. His hands are on your waist, holding you in place. “You’re shaking, cupcake.”

“Want you so bad, Yeonnie.” You reach for him again, your lips just grazing his before he pulls back.

“What do you want?” One of his hands drags along your leg, running higher, and higher, and-

“Want you to eat me out.” 

Sangyeon’s eyes go wide. So maybe he’d just been teasing you, but he hadn’t expected his sweet little baker to be so bold.

Your hand pushes against his chest, and he stumbles backward a few steps. There’s a dazed look in his eyes as he watches you unbutton your blouse. The delicate fabric slides down your shoulders, and Sangyeon swears that he’s drooling over you. The shape of your breasts in the orange glow of the fairy lights, the steady rise and fall of your chest while you breathe. 

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, and your cheeks grow warm. He reaches for you, but hesitates and puts his hand down again. You watch as he drops to his knees, practically crawling to you, and you can feel your panties dampening from the action. There’s a warm feeling in your gut, one you haven’t felt in a long time. His hands are quick to undo the button of your jeans, and he watches you as he tugs the zipper down. You’re leaning back on the counter, eyes struggling to stay open and on him. One of your lips is tucked between your teeth, red and puffy from you chewing on it.

Sangyeon drags your jeans and panties down in on harsh tug, and he helps you lift your legs to step out of them. Your legs are soft, he notes to himself. He leans forward, his lips touching the soft skin gently. You flinch, and he pulls away. 

“Why-” your voice trembles. “Why’d you stop?”

“You flinched,” he shrugs. “I will only do what you want me to, cupcake. The second you show discomfort, I stop until you tell me to continue or to leave. I’m yours. Whatever you want is what I want.  But right now, I really want to drown in this sweet pussy of yours.” He doesn’t move though, his cheek resting against the inside of your knee and his eyes are lidded with lust. “I’m not doing anything until you say so, cupcake.” 

You squeeze your eyes shut, and a nod of your head has Sangyeon practically moaning as he pulls himself closer to your core. 

“Fuck, cupcake, you’re dripping f’ me.” He coos, gauging your reactions as he prods at your entrance with the tips of his calloused fingers. You whine, trying to squeeze your legs shut, but his broad shoulders keep them open while he plays with your sopping pussy. His thumbs spread you open, and he watches you clench around nothing. 

“Hurry up, Sangyeon,” he grins at the desperation in your voice. 

“So needy,” he hums. You click your tongue and one of your hands laces in the soft strands of his hair. Your grip tightens, and he whines when you yank him closer to you.’

“Well,” you hide the way your voice shakes when you feel his breath right up against you. “I need a bit of a taste tester, you know? Need to know if she’s sweet enough- oh fuck-”

His mouth against you before you can finish your statement. His mouth is wide open, his tongue swiping along your folds, dipping inside of you and just grazing your clit, knowing full well that’s where you need him the most. Your hand is still in his hair, but your grip has gone slack. Your jaw hangs open, your head tipped back, and Sangyeon can feel him growing harder just at the taste of you in his mouth. 

His eyes drift shut, his hands grabbing your thighs and pulling you impossibly closer to his mouth. His neck has tipped back at an awkward angle, one that he knows is going to hurt later, but right now? With your pussy dripping against his face and the pretty little moans and whines you release? Sangyeon couldn’t care less. He's enraptured by you. He's obsessed with your taste, and he knows that even if he doesn't like sweets, he'd make an exception just for you.

“Sangyeon,” you’re breathless, pitch raising as he sucks at your clit, laving over it with his tongue. “Sangyeon, please.”

“Please what, cupcake?” His voice is muffled, not even bothering to pull away from you, and the vibrations of his voice have your back arching. “What do you need?”

“Need you inside of me,” you whine. “Please, please I need you so bad. Been waiting for so long. Haven’t you been waiting for me?” 

You’re a seductress, Sangyeon decides. A succubus. Sent here to torment him. To get him drunk on you, so much so that he’ll never want to leave. So much so that he’d sell his soul just to get a taste of your nectar one more time. 

“Have to make you cum, cupcake,” he denies your pretty little begs. “Wanna make you cum, just once before I fuck you. Please? Please let me make you cum?” His eyes are glowing in the light of the bakery, and you let out a high-pitched whine. He doesn’t wait for your response this time. He drowns himself in your pussy, tongue reaching inside of you for as much of your arousal as he can get. He sucks harshly on your clit, teeth grazing it and drawing loud cries from your lips.

Your legs tremble. A knot is growing in the pit of your stomach. Your body jerks. 

“Oh, fuck, Sangyeon-” Your cry trails off into a loud whine, your orgasm washing over you like a wildfire. Sangyeon drinks you up like he’s been in a desert for a week without water, moaning just as loud as you. Getting drunk on the feeling of your thighs shaking around his head, overstimulating you as you come down from your high. 

He doesn’t pull away until you physically kick him away from you. His face is drenched in your juices, his eyes glazed with need, and you have a sneaking suspicion that if you asked, he would crawl over and drag another orgasm out of you in no time at all. 

But you don’t ask. You need him inside of you so desperately that now you’re the one crawling to him. He’s still fully dressed as you perch your body over his, your core pressed right up against the bulge in his pants. His hands are tight on your hips, and he watches as you tug his sweatshirt up his body. 

“Did you plan for this to happen?” You smirk when you find bare skin under the soft hoodie. Bare, golden, skin, with toned abs like no other. Fuck maybe you were gonna get drunk on him.

He grins at you. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. What are you gonna do about it?” You click your tongue and slide off of him to sit on the counter. He sits up, eyebrows knit together as you swing your legs and smile at him.

“Planned or not,” you hum, “you should probably fuck me before I change my mind and eat that birthday cake on my own.” Sangyeon scoffs, but he’s pulling his pants down his legs and walking over to you without another word.

You, on the other hand, are taken completely aback. He’s big. Like…big in both length and girth. You wonder if you’d be able to wrap your hand around it, but you don’t get the time to think about it before Sangyeon is in front of you, tearing open a foil packet and rolling the condom onto his cock.

“Is it gonna fit, do you think?” You reach your hand forward, wrapping your hand around it. You were right. 

Sangyeon hisses at the contact of your hand wrapping around his sensitive cock. “We’ll have to see, won’t we?” 

You smile, your legs wrapping around his waist and tugging him closer to you. Your hand is still on him, guiding him to your entrance. You both hiss at the initial push into you. It stings, the stretch more than you’ve had in quite a while. 

“Shit, you’re tight,” Sangyeon grips your thighs tightly, his fingers holding you so tightly that you swear there will be bruises after this. You whine, your arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders. 

His arms slide up, holding you close to him as he continues to press inside of you. Sangyeon whispers words of comfort into your ear. He pauses whenever you whine in discomfort, hushing you as he continues to push into you. He bites his tongue every time your pussy clenches around him, muffling the groans that threaten to escape. 

You, on the other hand, are moaning shamelessly despite the discomfort. You can feel him everywhere, touching every inch of you and just kissing that sweet spot inside of you. Every time he pushes further into you, once the sting passes, the pleasure is quick to replace it. It overpowers every other emotion inside of you. Your legs wrap tighter around him, forcing those last few inches into you until his hips are pressed tightly against your own and his breathing grows shaky again. You clench around him, and his body jerks. 

“Little tease,” he practically growls. “Clenching around me like you want me to cum too fast.” You laugh, but it cuts into a moan when he pulls out a few inches and shoves himself back in. Your nails dig into the back of his neck, your fingers lacing into his hair and pulling lightly. "Feels so good, Yeonnie.”

“Weren’t you the one that said that was a dog's name?” He moves slowly against you, and at first, you don’t respond, your lips attached to his shoulder and sucking dark marks into the skin. “Cupcake, careful with the marks.” Sangyeon pinches the skin of your thigh and you whine.

“Stop complaining and just fuck me already,” you plead. Sangyeon smiles.

“Whatever you say, cupcake.” You can’t get another word out. Sangyeon pushes you onto your back, barely giving you time to adjust to how he feels in this new position before he’s thrusting harshly inside of you. 

He’s harsh with his pace, each thrust punching the air out of your lungs, forcing out moans and cries and begs for him to go faster, harder, right there oh god right there Sangyeon. He lowers his mouth to your shoulder, giving you the same treatment he’d just scolded you for, listening to everything you say and every sound you make as he does. The sound of his hips slapping against yours is so loud and he can feel your arousal dripping down your pretty cunt and allowing him to go faster, to fuck you harder. 

Then he sees it. It’s faint, but when he looks down at you he can see the outline of his cock pressing against your stomach. His pace stutters, and you whine when he slows down. 

“Cupcake, look at you.” He coos, grabbing the hand that’s in his hair and bringing it down to your stomach. You raise your head, eyes fluttering when he thrusts again but you can feel the bulge against your stomach. You force your eyes to stay open the next time he thrusts into you, whining when you see it. “So fucking pretty, baby. So fucking pretty, and so small that my cock is pressing against your tummy, wanting to get out, hm?” You whine again, raising your hips to meet every thrust. 

He’s getting close. He can feel it. Every thrust, every clench, every whine. It’s all drawing him closer and closer to the edge, and he knows you can feel his cock twitching inside of you. He knows that you’re getting close again, he can feel the way your walls are fluttering around him rather than persistently clenching. 

“Are you close baby?” His hand comes up to rest next to your head, and you whine.

“So close, Yeonnie. Please I’m so close-” Your hips stutter against him, and the knot in your stomach goes tight. 

Sangyeon swears he goes blind for a moment with how hard his eyes roll back. His body shakes against yours, his cum filling the condom to the brim. Your back arches, your chests brushing together and he wraps one hand around your back, pressing against your shoulder blades to hold you close to him while the two of you ride out your highs. Both of you are panting, your bodies slick with sweat, and you can only imagine what anyone walking outside is thinking-

“Oh my god, we just fucked in my bakery.” You sit upright, your head knocking against Sangyeon’s in the process. He snorts, rubbing where you just hit him.

“You’re realizing this now?” You smack his arm, and he laughs, pulling away from you. The two of you are quiet for a few minutes, quietly cleaning up and getting dressed. Well…Sangyeon gets dressed. You’re stuck on the counter, your legs proving to be useless now. Sangyeon smiles at this, grabbing your clothes for you and helping you tug your jeans on. 

“We’re not fucking in here again.” He quirks an eyebrow.

“So what you’re saying is my car is next?” You punch his arm again, but he just laughs. “I’m kidding.”

“Are you though?” 

“...”

“Lee Sangyeon!” He laughs again, taking you by the hand to keep you steady on your feet. The two of you stand there for a few minutes, in the middle of your bakery with the orange glow of the fairy lights. 

“Did you mean what you said?” You ask, letting him lead you back to the table you’d left the cake on.

“About what?” Sangyeon peers at you, his head tilted. 

“About not liking sweets.” Your cheeks are warm. It’s a silly question, but it had bugged you. Sangyeon smiles, ducking his head.

“Yeah… I was really just here for the coffee.”

“Then…Why did you take what I gave you?” You pout. “If I had known you didn’t like that stuff, I would’ve given you something else!” 

“Because I like how happy you sounded when I told you the recipes you were trying tasted fantastic.” He says simply. “I would hate if I said or did anything that made you upset.”

“But you…” you purse your lips. “Then why did you run away? I know that you said someone had…betrayed you before…but did you really think I would do that to you?” 

Sangyeon sighs. 

“I didn’t know. Obviously, I trusted you- I trust you. But…somewhere inside of me I just couldn’t help but be a bit too cautious. I couldn’t stop myself from being afraid that this would turn out just like that relationship did, you know?” You nod, drumming your fingers on the table. “Can I see the cake you made me now?” 

“After all that, you wanna see the cake now?” You scoff and he grins at you, tugging the box toward him. “Whatever. It’s nothing special anyway.”

“Anything you make me is special.” He argues, flipping open the lid of the box. He gasps.

“Do you like it?” Sangyeon doesn’t respond. You get nervous. “Yeonnie?”

“Oh, you want me sooooo bad.”

~

TAGLIST: @winterchimez @juyeonszn

[ao3feed-ateez]

Your eyes shine for me and mine for you

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/khmA7Y6 by ILoveAteezTiddies “I can't go on like this anymore. Maybe we weren't destined. I can't be with a defective and useless alpha, San. I need something more for myself. I want a family and because of you, I can't. Thank you so much for making this period a living hell because you can't even be good at the only thing you’re supposed to be. Bye.” San had spent the past six months thinking about how pathetic and useless he was as an alpha, ever since that rainy November day when his boyfriend, Ryoki - or rather, his ex - left him a note on the kitchen counter. San understood well why Ryoki did it, but he still hoped for at least one last conversation with him, to hear those words spoken directly. That way, he could have found peace. How foolish he was. Words: 9057, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: ATEEZ (Band) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Choi San (ATEEZ), Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Kang Yeosang, Song Mingi (ATEEZ), Kim Hongjoong, Choi Jongho (ATEEZ), Jeong Yunho (ATEEZ), Park Seonghwa Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Choi San (ATEEZ), Alpha Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Alpha Song Mingi (ATEEZ), Beta Park Seonghwa, Omega Kim Hongjoong, Omega Choi Jongho (ATEEZ), Omega Jeong Yunho (ATEEZ), Omega Kang Yeosang, Best Friends Choi San & Kang Yeosang, Best Friends Jung Wooyoung & Park Seonghwa, Siblings Choi Jongho & Choi San (ATEEZ), Minor Kang Yeosang/Song Mingi, Minor Choi Jongho/Kim Hongjoong, Minor Jeong Yunho/Park Seonghwa, Mentioned Ahn Hyejin | Hwasa, Strangers to Lovers, toxic ex boyfriend, Alpha/Alpha Relationship, Omega/Omega Relationship, Beta/Omega relationship, Hurt Choi San (ATEEZ), Protective ATEEZ Ensemble, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Switch Choi San (ATEEZ), Switch Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Switch Choi San/Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Nipple Piercings, Nipple Play, Hand Jobs, Frottage, Coming Untouched, Coming In Pants, Semi-Public Sex, Choking, Hand & Finger Kink, Oral Fixation, Hair-pulling, Come as Lube, Condoms, Safe Sane and Consensual, Rough Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Come Swallowing, Belly Bulge, Praise Kink, Jung Wooyoung Has a Degradation Kink (ATEEZ), They cum a lot, Breeding Kink, Sex Toys, Anal Plug, Soft Dom Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Sub Choi San (ATEEZ), AND SINCE THEY SWITCH, Dom Choi San (ATEEZ), Sub Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Aftercare, NO BITCHING THEY REMAIN ALPHAS!!, SLURS BUT ONLY IN THE FIRST CHAPTER read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/khmA7Y6

[sexualmamamoosnaps]

MLT to be into thigh riding receiving and giving

Pairing: Dom Mamamoo and Sub Female Reader

Author note: 🍏🥒This is just giving🧃🥬🥝

Name: Moon Byulyi (Moonbyul)

Name: Jung Wheein

Name: Kim Yongsun (Solar)

Name: Ahn Hyejin (Hwasa)

[lesbolieeh]

Calling them Mommy in public (m)

Dom!Mamamoo ✦ Sub!Fem!Reader

WARNING—suggestive content ✦ relationship au ✦ titles/ pet names ✦ tiny part with degradation ✦ mentions of multiple kinks and sexual acts

NOW PLAYING—The Pleasure Principle ✦ Janet Jackson

[A/N.] this is the first dom!idol thing i've ever written but it's bc i was comfortable writing this abt mmm (and maybe other women too in the future). idk if i would consider myself a switch since i’ve only dommed b4… but my biggest kink is women in power and so the idea of another women being i power doesn’t sound so bad— kwon eunbi and megan thee stallion can do anything to me and i’m ok w/ that.

i’m sry if this is shit but, again, this is the first time i’ve ever written anything dom!idol x sub!reader hehe😅

M.LISTS—f.idols ✦ latest updates ✦ read on wp

All rights reserved © lesbolieeh

김용선 (𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑎𝑟)

Damn, I picked the wrong GIF for this reaction but Yongsun just looks so damn badass, powerful in this performance— She is the leader of her group and she tends to take that role in her friend groups so she has been called mommy by others in the past — which she’d never had a huge reaction to before. However, hearing you call her that will make her feel flustered, especially if you do it in public. She just wouldn’t know how to react so she’d just giggle at the situation and try to escape it, blushing.

"Hope it tastes well, Mommy.”

She choked on her food, “Wh— What? Haha.”

She giggled with a hand in front of her mouth both to hide her chewing and part of her blush.

Afterwards, she’d think about how you called her by that title in public as if it were nothing and she’d come up with so many ways she could’ve reacted, regretting everything. But she’s optimistic so she’d just show you how much she enjoyed it by expressing her contentment through words on the ride home or by expressing how turned on she got once you’re at home. Anyway, she’s make sure you knew she appreciated it and she’d tell you to call her that in the future — doesn’t matter how many times it’s happened, she’ll always blush a bit<3

... ✦ ...✦✦✦

문별이 (𝑚𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑏𝑦𝑢𝑙)

I can’t decide between whether she’d become really embarrassed and walk away (lol) or if she’d smirk and flirt with you. Anyway, Byulyi doesn't care for titles and thinks they aren't necessary and rather can be bad as they can put people into certain boxes or categories. Don't get her wrong, she doesn't mind being called Mommy at all, it's just that she prefers not having any title. When it comes to you calling her Mommy in public, she'd 1. be so embarrassed and walk away with a blush on her face because she's shy about that stuff 2. act all dom and confident (but still prefers not having titles in bed)

Ver. 1:

"Damn, Mama."

Her face turned beet red so she hid it in her arms, wondering how you can be so bashful sometimes.

Ver. 2:

“Thanks Mommy.”

“You’re welcome, Princess,” she giggled, wrapping her arm around your waist, holding her chin up high, feeling herself.

Call her that when you’re alone, and only occasionally because she prefers hearing you say her name more than a title. Don’t call her the d-word. Fans have called her ‘oppa’ in the past and she’s said that although she doesn’t conform to gender stereotypes she is a woman and doesn’t like being called a man. In conclusion, don’t call her d-word ever, and if you want to call her Mommy, don’t use it all the time since it can make her feel uncomfortable (feeling like she has to play a role, not be herself). She is either really OK with you calling her Mommy in front of others because it makes her confident to show others her dominance OR she gets really embarrassed and wants to leave the face of Earth. Anyway, don’t overuse the title/ pet name!

✦... ✦ ...✦✦

정휘인 (𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒊𝒏)

Cocky as fuck. You already call her Mommy in bed but if you did it in public, all shameless, she'd be feeling herself, maybe go as far as calling herself Mommy in third person. And she’d do it in an condescending way, like with a tone you’d use for someone below you, patting your head like you’d do to a puppy, calling you her slut when she whispers in your ear.

“I forgot my wallet, can you buy me this? Please, Momma?” you tried to convince her.

"Hmm… Momma wants a hug first, Babygirl," she pouted at you and held her arms out, smiling brightly at you when you hugged her.

“Good slut,” she whispered so only you could hear, then proceeded to place an innocent kiss under your ear.

Call her more kinky shit outside of home more often! You bet your ass she’ll fuck you so well when you get home, worshipping your body and making you cum over and over until you can’t take it anymore.

✦✦... ✦ ...✦

안혜진 (ℎ𝑤𝑎 𝑠𝑎)

She would smirk and wink and the whole deal. In fact, I think she’d be comfortable enough to whisper dirty shit in your ear. Telling you she loves hearing you call her that, and that you shouldn’t address her as anything else, or it could go the other way and she’d tell you she’d punish you if you continued acting naughty.

Ver. 1:

“Okay, Mami.”

She smirked, leaning closer to you, “Don’t call me anything else, alright, Baby?”

Ver. 2:

"Damn, Mami, you look so good.”

"Behave unless you want to be punished," she raised a brow at you.

Shit, maybe she’d make you call her Mami everywhere (with exceptions, of course). And she’d both act all wholesome and cute, buying you gifts when you call her Mami in public or sexual, introducing public play (assuming you hadn’t done that together before) like using remote-controlled vibrators when you’re shopping at a mall.

✦✦✦... ✦ ...

❝ You might say, that I'm no good

I wouldn't trust your looks, baby, if I could

I got so many, things I wanna do, before I'm through ❞

—janet damita jo jackson; 1987

[bangchanswolfpelt]

I just wanted to drop in to ask if you’ve seen/heard Hwasa’s new album? God hyejin’s visuals are top tier this era this woman is killing me I want her over me and under me and I just want her to sit on my face so I can overstimulate the fuck out of her 🥵🥵

i have!!!! I'm a B was so fuckin wild, she was gorgeous of course, but also—Hwasa's one of those artists who will drop shit that's got so much meaning and so many layers that my brain's too busy trying to figure out what was going on to even be horny??? it's like when Taemin dropped Advice—i'm too busy yelling 'what does it mean??? what are we saying here????" to even thirst properly.

god, but i love how sleek she looks with a bob, and when she has a a few strands of hair falling in her face??? 🥵 the look in the red dress was probably my favorite—seeing her in that, i just wanna unwrap her. like, imagine setting Hyejin on your lap and making her take off all that tough cool-girl armor piece-by-piece, until she's just soft and sweet and shy for you, knowing that you're the only one who gets to see her like this because she knows this is where she's safe. stroking her hair and pressing teasing little kisses all over until she's squirming and pouting and tugging at your clothing. tugging her up and onto your face, because she's your princess, she should be sitting on her throne.

your whole world narrows down to her taste on your tongue and the press of her thighs around your face, all your purpose focused making her cum once, then twice, hot and sticky and loud. when Hyejin finally tries to scramble away, out of breath and too sensitive, you grip her hips, dragging her back down to run the flat of your tongue up her folds, to suck her clit into your mouth and make her squeal, high and desperate as she jerks under your touch. it's easy to hold her to your mouth, though, to drink her up and work her through peak after peak until her thighs are trembling against your cheeks, until she's limp, unable to even hold up her own weight.

when she has words again, Hyejin whines about being too heavy for you, retreating into shyness like a well-worn blanket—but when you pull her back into your arms to haul the full weight of her on top of you, she curls into you like a cat in a sunbeam.

[mashup-writing]

Sub!A!Mamamoo being endlessly teased by Dom!O!Reader

--------------------------------------------------

Requested? ☒

--------------------------------------------------

Hwasa:

Hyejin acted over-confident when you gave her one task, raising her eyebrow at you as if she was daring you to do your worst. You swore to yourself you'd make her regret underestimating you, and you succeeded. You didn't bother tying her up and just promised her that if she lifts any part of herself off the bed she wouldn't be cumming for a month. Halfway through you having your fun and already you had rendered the alpha into a begging and panting mess. Hovering over Hyejin, you bit at her scent gland and pumped down on her length and she unconsciously bucked up into your hand.

You let go of her and put a hand on her stomach, you kiss her neck that's now full of marks and get off of your alpha. Chocolate orbs flutter open with unshed tears of frustration and overstimulation she grabs at your hand weakly although desperately Hyejin asks why you stopped.

You smile sweetly at her and tell her that you don't ever break your promises.

Moonbyul:

No cumming until 20 minutes pass. That was your command, to be honest you felt as if 20 minutes was being easy on your cocky little alpha. So you decided to amp your simulations up to "Make it even"

Byul's moans and desperate whines fill the room as you fuck and roll into her with a strap, she grabs onto anything that she can reach so as to give her some semblance of grounding to no avail. 10 minutes in and she begs and begs for your permission to let her cum, you deny her and tell her that cumming before the 20 minute mark will result in punishments.

15 minutes in and Byul arches her back, with one hand supporting her weight beneath her, she grabs onto your nape and digs her nails in. You wrap your hand around her neck and apply just enough pressure to stop blood flow for a split second, and it sends her over the edge. A broken scream leaves her mouth and she falls face first onto the bed as both her arms lose their strength, spasms wracking her body as her length shoots ropes of cum onto the sheets beneath, tears leave her eyes as the tip of her cock rubs onto the drenched sheets, she shuts her eyes as she attempts to catch her breath.

You smirk and wait till almost all of the spasms leave Byul's body. Almost. Once you see her body sag even lower, you lean down and firmly grab onto her cock from behind. The alpha's eyes shoot open as you pump her length at a high speed, breathless gasps leaving her lips as you buck into her as a declaration.

"I told you Byul-yi, 20 minutes at the very least. And now the real fun begins.."

Wheein:

Wheein was easily the most innocent looking one in the group. But behind closed doors? She was easily the most submisive masochist you could have ever met. You had given Wheein a hand job so many times within the past 30 minutes that a drag of your fingernail across the tip of her length made her moan and jerk her hips away from you, desperate to catch a break.

But you weren't going to let her get away that easily.

You grab her length and placed a slow lick from the base to the very tip. Watching Wheein squirm above you like how a predator would watch their prey. You alternate between pumping and licking her length until she thrashes in your grip with her breathing becoming extremely erratic once more.

"Please Y/N, please, please, I can't.... I can't.. No please.. I just-" not even for a second, does the thought of stopping cross your mind. You taunt her with a drunken haze in your eyes and a smile on your face, telling her that deep down, she wants as many orgasms as you can give her. She moans once again and feebly tries to push your head away.

"Then use your safe-word baby, there's no shame in it if you really can't cum anymore."

The loud moans that filled the room a second ago ceases for a moment, and you feel Wheein's hands run through your hair and rest on the top of your head. Your smile conveys evil as you lay a kiss on her throbbing cock.

"That's what I thought babygirl."

Solar:

She gives off a very "Macho Alpha" vibe out in public and you let her friends and every other person think that you were the submissive one in the relationship. It doesn't matter seeing as it's more fun this way, especiallt when you both know who really calls the shots. You let your eyes slowly wander down her body whenever your gazes meet and it makes her facade falter just enough that no one but you notices, it makes you impatient in waiting for the right time to do what it is you're going to do to her.

You throw your drink back and get up from your seat, the DJ chose to play a more slow and sultry beat and it suits your plans perfectly. Walking towards Solar, you grab her hand and pull her to the middle of the dance floor, where most of the people were. Hinding in plain sight is somewhat of a skill you have. Pulling her close to your body, you turn around and grind on her as you dance to the beat.

Solar pulls you close and buries her face in your neck as her eyes fall shut and her moans vibrate against your skin. Her hardening length straining against the cage you put her in before you left the house, she soon finds out it's only the beginning when your hand makes its way down and gives her a squeeze. She bucks into your hand as you lean up and place your mouth just by the lobe of her ear.

"What's the matter alpha? Don't you have a little...... Restraint.... In you?"

--------------------٩(◕‿◕｡)۶--------------------

[mercurygguk]

make you mine ; master-post

MAKE YOU MINE ; 37k words

➵ summary; your first day at your new college is quite eventful to say the least. but everything seems slightly less chaotic when Jeon Jungkook offers to help you on your way – if only knowing him wasn’t an even bigger mess than the day you first met.

details;

pairing; jungkook x f. reader

rating; 18+ (mostly)

content; college au, friends to lovers au

warnings; mentions of alcohol, swearing, making out, groping, grinding, dirty talk, fingering, oral (f & m receiving), unprotected sex, nipple play, food play, slightly dom!jk, multiple orgasms, so. much. sex., soft shit bc it’s the mym couple <3

➵ main masterlist · mym tag · mym jk photo · playlist

drabbles;

#1 – first hangout with friends as a couple

#2 – you overhear some girls in class

#3 – a nerve-wrecking study date (m)

#4 – taehyung and hoseok see something shocking

#5 – driving home for christmas

#6 – jealous jungkook causes a change of plans (m)

#7 – hyejin won’t answer her phone and you’re worried

#8 – exams makes it difficult to find time

#9 – tent trip but it’s pouring down (m)

#10 – jungkook’s hoodies go missing all the time (m)

#11 – graduation day

#12 – your careers get in the way

— more to come…

all rights reserved © mercurygguk 2022 | do not repost anywhere, translate or edit. you will be reported and blocked.

[neowinestainedress]

𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 — 𝐂𝐇. 𝟔

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 — 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 — 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗 — 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: lee haechan x oc ; na jaemin x oc ; haechan x ex girlfriend!oc, na jaemin x haechan's ex girlfriend!oc 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: angst, smut, fluff, childhood best friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, exes to lovers, lovers to exes 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: everything falls apart and putting back the pieces to start brand new is harder than expected. but it’s time to move on and address feelings that have been hiding for too long, but most importantly, try to not mess up another time. 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: angst, smut, alcohol consumption, fing*ring, sq*irting, unprotected s*x, dirty talk, oral s*x, switchy/subby hyuck (no dom/sub dynamics tho), hair pulling, kinda hate s*x (there are unresolved feelings coming out), fingers sucking, handj*b 𝐖𝐂: +19k 𝐀/𝐍: this chapter is a long ass ride, so brace yourself!!! listen to this if you want to cry harder in the first part. since we’re coming to the end (and i think there's a lot to discuss this time) PLEASE reblog and leave feedback to show support and let me know what you think! enjoy ♡

Gathering the courage to be the one to bring this news was never in Hyejin’s plans. Her plans were clear, the picture of her future with Haechan had been in her mind for years by now as she added details with each passing day, sure with every passing second, he would’ve always been by her side. So being the one that would’ve torn that picture in shreds in a few moments felt like the most agonizing nightmare she ever had to live. 

But it was for the better, right? It couldn’t be. It wasn’t meant to be. Love meant to be able to let go when it was clear nothing was holding people together anymore, and she loved Haechan dearly and deeply. 

“Hi,” she said, voice barely higher than a whisper, when Haechan opened the door of his place. “Are you alone?” 

Haechan nodded. “Yeah, why?” 

She would’ve found the teasing tone in his voice and the sexy smirk on his face exciting, but it wasn’t the moment for that. Everything they knew would’ve fallen apart in a few instants. 

“I need to talk to you,” she replied, stepping in as he moved to the side before closing the door. 

He raised a brow, staring at her with surprise on his face, immediately understanding something was going on. “Are you okay?” 

Hyejin nodded. No, she wasn’t. “I think it’s better if we sit.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked again to make sure nothing happened. 

“Just, please, let’s sit.” 

Haechan hummed, not really convinced, and sat on the couch next to her. 

“I thought about this a lot,” she started saying, forcing herself to look into his eyes, but it felt too painful, and her gaze met the ground as she let out those painful words, “I think this should end.” 

Haechan blinked repeatedly, thinking he heard wrong. She couldn’t mean… “Excuse me?” 

She gulped, lifting her head, and squeezing her eyes to push the tears back. “I don’t think this is working.” 

“This is… us?” He asked to make sure they were talking about the same thing. 

Hyejin hummed, rubbing her nose which was starting to tickle from the cries she was holding back. 

Haechan laughed, it was a panicked laugh full of disbelief as he shook his head. “No, is it April first?” 

She shook her head, swallowing hard. “I mean it.” 

“I… I thought we were fine,” he said, feeling lost because nothing of this made sense in his mind. Why was she breaking this up? 

“I thought that too,” she breathed out. “But I honestly feel we’re not meant to be.” 

“But why?” Now the one holding back tears was Haechan, still searching for her eyes that were avoiding his. 

“For so many little things, Hyuck. But I don’t want to fight.” 

“Don’t you think I need to know why you’re ending us after three years? I’ve already been left without a word, I don’t think I deserve it.” 

She snickered bitterly. “See, you brought the first problem up yourself.” 

Haechan’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?” 

“Zoya,” she said more sternly than she planned, and he scoffed, standing up from the couch. 

“You’re breaking up with me because of her?” He asked, voice full of anger and shock. 

“Yes, because I’m not crazy, and I know you, Hyuck. I know your eyes when they are full of love, and every time they stop on her…” Hyejin sighed, torturing her lower lip and bouncing her leg nervously, “they will never shine so bright when they are on me.” 

He shook his head, murmuring ‘nos’ under his breath, feeling his lungs hurt as he pushed back sobs. “That’s not true, she’s in the past. She… she hurt me so badly, I…” 

“And? Does it matter? The heart doesn’t care much about what hurts us.” 

“But I don’t love her,” he screamed. “I don’t want to love her, and I love you. I love you.” 

Hyejin shook her head, tears falling freely as she couldn’t hold herself together anymore. Hearing those words, those damned three words she longed for for so long caused more pain than all those years spent wishing on a wishful fantasy. 

“Please, don’t let your fears come between us,” he begged, moving closer to her, kneeling in front of her. 

“But they’re not fears,” she said, “you choose her over me, you don’t even see how much you still want her.” 

“I wouldn’t cheat on you.” 

“I know,” she replied, smiling bitterly because a part of her wished he did. It would’ve been so easy, she would’ve had a reason to hate him, but instead, she had this beautiful thing in her hands, and she had to tear it apart. “I know you’re not cheating, but I know your heart is not on me.” 

“That’s not true,” he insisted. “We were friends before being lovers.” 

Yeah, and so were we. She thought. And only one of us is destined to be more; not us. 

When she didn’t answer, he sighed. “Are you seriously breaking up with me because of her?”

“It’s not only her, Donghyuck.”

He groaned. “And then what’s the problem?” 

“It’s us. It’s the way… I’m always the one making time for us. I’d go to the moon for you, and it’s not a burden for me, but I deserve more.” 

Haechan didn’t say anything, just cried silently. He had failed. He had tried so hard to love her, and yet he had failed.

“And even when we’re together it just doesn’t feel right. Not like it used to be when we started dating, and not even like when we were friends.” 

Haechan kept shaking his head. Thinking he was going insane. “No, I’m… I’ve been too busy with work, and I had a hard time.”

She grabbed his hands. “I don’t want you to constantly be with me, I want you to be happy when you’re with me, even if it’s just five minutes a day. And I… I feel we’re the happiest when our relationship looks like we’re friends. When we have those moments, when I don’t try to kiss you or search for your hand, I…” she sighed, feeling her heart sting. “I’m so, so happy you tried to make this work for us. I… I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same happiness I felt when we kissed the first time, or when you told me you loved me back, but I can’t keep living in a lie.” 

“But it’s not a lie, I love you,” he said almost screaming, choking on his words as tears made it hard to breathe. “I do, I love you.” 

“I know you do. If there’s one thing in this world I will never question is the love that ties us, but as painful as it is for me to admit, the love that ties us is not romantic, Hyuck. It will never be.” 

Haechan didn’t reply, he only fell on his knees, hugging her as she sat on the couch and lulled him in her hold. Keeping him close while her fingers ran in his hair. 

She always knew him before he knew himself. It had always been like this. Haechan could stare in the mirror and still don’t get himself as easily and swiftly as she did. And even if it hurt, that was the truth he wasn’t ready to accept. Time. Hyejin knew he only needed time to realize this was the right thing. Otherwise, they would’ve forced this thing to work until it would’ve torn them down and ripped away even the last residues of the beautiful relationship they always had. The truth didn’t help to make this hurt less. It didn’t stop his tears from feeling like bullets ricocheting in her heart and it didn’t stop his pleas to don’t leave him from feeling like life leaving her. She was the executioner and she had to cut deep. To promise him that eventually, they will be friends again. But not now, not so soon.

“I think it’s better to take a bit of time away from each other. We’re not what we used to be, we’re not kids or dumb teenagers anymore, and as much as I love you, I think it’s time we find our new selves.” 

Haechan sobbed louder, hands clenching around her shirt, and pulling her closer to him. “You want to stop being friends too?” 

“I need time, Hyuck. I need to find myself, I need to find my place in this world, and it kills me knowing my place here is not by your side.” 

“But why? Can’t I make it work? I’ll be a better boyfriend this time.” 

She cried, holding back a sob. “I can’t give you what you need, and you can’t give me what I need. I will always be glad for everything you gave me, but I… I need to stop loving so much, I need to stop letting love consume me until there’s nothing left for me.”

“I can prove you,” he mumbled, sniffling as he pulled back to look into her eyes. “I can make this work. We can make this work. Like we have always done. It’s us, it will always be us.”

“No,” she whispered, caressing his cheeks as her eyes melted into his brown ones, a strange mix of something that was home and something that was a foreign land. “Not this time, Hyuck. It won’t be us anymore.”

“But I… I don’t know how to live without you.” 

She smiled. “You know. And we both know it will be scary but… I think it’s what we both need. You’ll thank me one day.” 

“No, I’ll… I…” he sobbed, lowering his head, torturing his hands more. 

“I can’t give you anything more, it will kill me.” 

Haechan cried louder. “And what am I supposed to do without you?” 

“Find your happiness,” she said. “Take her back, because I’m sure she loves you just as much.” 

“No,” he sobbed, “don’t do that. You used to — you used to do that when you loved me in silence, and I couldn’t see what you gave me.” 

“I know, but I know that it’s the right thing right now. I know there’s something bright and beautiful waiting for us, and if you don’t hurt, if you don’t bleed, you can’t heal and step out of the darkness.” 

Haechan didn’t reply. He didn’t agree. He didn’t understand this. He felt so many emotions but he couldn’t deal with any of them. Too all over the place, crashing on him like a sudden waterfall. And he looked at her, trying to find a piece of what he loved the most to hold on to, and she was still there. She was always there. Full of love, for him. But this was the end, she wasn’t his anymore, and he wasn’t hers. Everything he knew in these past years was vanishing in front of his eyes and he couldn’t stop her. Once again, he was losing whom he loved so much, and he was powerless, watching her go. 

“Do you hate me?” 

“I don’t,” she reassured him. “But I need to let you go.” She stood up and Haechan grabbed her hand, squeezing before she let it fall. 

“Don’t go,” he whispered. 

“I have to,” she said, smiling weakly. “I love you.” 

The door closed, and the cold air of the night sank deep into her bones. There were no words for the ache she was feeling, just like there were no words for the feeling that, behind all the pain, was telling her it was the right thing to do. 

Sometimes the most painful thing to do is the right thing to find a better start. To find the true road destined for us. And Hyejin knew it, deep in her soul, that that was the right thing; it was time to go. 

Falling out of love with someone you still deeply love is the worst feeling in the world. And you can only trick yourself so much into hoping something better waits for you. But when the rain doesn’t seem to stop, when the sun doesn’t shine, it’s hard to look out of the window and wish for a rainbow. 

May was a month Hyejin hated already, the weather would start to get hotter, the library would fill with students studying for their tests, and the mosquitos would start biting her ankles. 

May was a month Hyejin hated more now, other than the usual, she didn’t have her rides back home with Haechan, and she didn’t have her future anymore.

Hyejin never liked having to rewrite her plans. She made them in a certain way at the start for a reason, so there was no point drawing a line on them and doing it all over again. But she was left with no choice. 

So instead of redrawing the picture she yearned for ages, she sat in her room, staring at the white wall, hoping for changes to show themselves. 

If she was a warm light before, she was now a dark cloud bringing her gloominess around. She had to find herself, but that felt so scary when she didn’t have her other half by her side after a whole life together. She felt like a bird learning to fly, or a lamb taking its first steps. It was scary, and the only outcome possible seemed to be a catastrophe.

So she tried to hang on to the other people she loved the most. Going out with Yeri and Ningning when possible, or simply doing the things she loved the most on her own. She even thought about calling Jaemin, she missed him much, but after the small exchange of texts after the break up (“hey, heard what happened, if you need to talk I’m here!” and “yeah, thanks, I’ll call you if I need it”) nothing happened between them. 

“Zoya?” She asked when the bell rang on a late afternoon on Saturday. 

“Can I come in?” 

Hyejin frowned, not understanding what she was doing there, but let her in anyway. “Sure. Need something?” 

The girl shrugged, sitting on the couch. “Wanted to check on you. Haechan is a mess.” 

Hyejin didn’t say a word, she simply stared at her, standing up close to the couch. “I’m fine.” 

Zoya chuckled. “Sure you are. You broke up with the love of your life and want to tell me, you’re doing fine.”

Hyejin frowned. “What would you know about me, about us?” 

She expected Zoya to react, but she simply smiled, snickering and lifting her hands up. “I’m here in peace. Trying to help a friend, if you still consider me one,” she said, eyes moving from her to the empty spot on the couch, a spot that got filled when Hyejin preferred to don’t answer. 

“He’s not the love of my life,” Hyejin said bitterly. 

Zoya sighed. “I think it’s funny.” 

“What?” 

“How we both left thinking he loved the other more.” 

Hyejin’s eyes widened, staring at her in disbelief. “You did what? Wait, what did he tell you?” 

“A lot of nothing, if I have to be honest. He was a crying mess, and then he fell asleep. Understood a bit more from Jaemin that has been listening to his nagging for weeks now.” 

“I didn’t leave him because of you,” Hyejin whispered. “Not only. But you? I left giving him reasons, you left without a word. And left me there to mend the scars you caused.” 

“I know,” she said. “And I feel guilty to this day, Hye. But I was a teenager, I was afraid. I… I always felt like I came between you two and whatever thing you had going on. Why do you think I tried to drift apart from our trio? I felt like I didn’t fit in that magic that naturally flew between you. But I would always come back, somehow. So I thought, fine, I belong there, and then… then we started dating. But when I got the news that I had to go back home, my fears took over again. I was terrified that… I was sure he would’ve stopped loving me and realize the feelings he hid for you.” 

“He never loved me.” 

“I could only see love behind his eyes, and I still do to this day. I felt like I could never compare to you. You were you, and I know it’s such a cliché thing to say but you know him more than he knows himself, so how could I compare,” Zoya explained, her lips curled in a small, bittersweet smile.  

Hyejin furrowed. “So you left? You hurt him… why?” 

“I wanted to tell him, but I was afraid he would’ve convinced me to try to make it work with the distance.” 

“Why would it have been a bad thing?” She almost screamed, even angrier now that she knew all the pain he went through could’ve been avoided. 

“I don’t like it. And… and I feared he would’ve cheated on me with you.” 

“You’re so stupid,” Hyejin exhaled, eyes wide. “How could you even think that?” 

“But that’s what happened!” 

“It happened because you left, because you hurt him, and probably he never even loved me like that, he just had wounds too big to mend on his own and he used me to do that.” 

“Are you saying he never loved you?”

“Not like he loved you. Not like a lover, but always like a friend.”

Zoya shook her head. 

“You do know how much you leaving without a word hurt him, right?” 

“I know. But I also knew he had you. And you were always ready to… to do anything for him, I thought it was safe. I thought a silly teenage love story couldn’t hurt him this bad. I didn’t think I meant so much to him. I thought his whole world revolved around you.” 

Hyejin snickered. “I thought his whole world revolved around you.”

“God, we’re both so dumb, aren’t we?” 

Hyejin laughed, tears rolling down her face as she threw her head back in a sigh. 

“Don’t pretend you’re fine,” Zoya said, caressing her hair back and letting her thumb caress her cheek. “I know our friendship is weird, and I did my best to ruin it, but if you want to, I’m here… for you.” 

Hyejin hummed, turning around, and meeting her eyes. “It’s just hard… letting it all go, and learning how to rebuild a house you thought was your home.” 

“So why don’t you go back home?” 

“Because it’s not mine. Because it was never mine,” she whispered, pulling her knees to her chest. “It’s not about you, it’s about us. We don’t work together, not romantically. That’s not my place in his life, and his in mine. And I don’t like it one bit, but it’s not the end of the world,” she chuckled bitterly. “I’m so young, and I could go out clubbing and get any person that I like, I should, maybe I will.”

“Need some company?” 

“Yeah, why not?” She replied before breaking down crying. “The truth is I’m… I’m not made for that life. I’m not made for quick encounters and meaningless flirts. I don’t see myself fucking around, and then going on with my day. I’m such a… such a… mess.” 

“Or maybe you just have different needs? There’s nothing wrong with wanting stability. It’s hard, it can’t be easy when all of a sudden everything you know doesn’t exist anymore. You can’t be mad at yourself for being terrified of the future.” 

“But I hate being stuck,” she confessed, head falling on Zoya’s shoulder. “I feel like the whole world is moving on and I’m here, not knowing what to do with my life. It’s not even about love, it’s everything. I’ve got my major wrong, I’ve got my lover wrong, I’ve got a job I don’t want and I’m a terrible friend. Everything is a mess.” 

“Maybe you just need to change your perspective. Flip the picture, put on a wig and become someone else.” 

Hyejin furrowed and pouted, feeling like she was making fun of the situation. 

“I’m just saying, were those bad choices when you made them? No. They were right at the moment. You are not in that moment anymore, you are moving on, you are changing, you are growing.” 

“I don’t like it.” 

“I know,” she said. “I spent months pondering whether to come back here or not, and when I did, the only thing I wanted to do was to leave again. But it turns out I only had to endure a bit more. I’m close to having my dream job, and you and Haechan welcomed me back. I’ve got to meet Jaemin and so many other people. It was terrifying eight months ago, but now? It can only get better.” 

“I miss Jaemin,” she confessed, snuggling closer, needing to feel a warm and familiar embrace. 

“He misses you too,” Zoya said. “But he also understands if you don’t want to see him ever again.” 

“Did he tell you that?” 

“He did,” Zoya replied. “Maybe you could start with him, I’m sure he’s a good friend. He could be a big support for you, don’t push him away.” 

Haechan could only remember he felt a pain like this four years ago when Zoya left without a word and left him to bleed. Now he was older, wiser —some could say— and Hyejin didn’t leave him without a warning, yet, it still felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. 

He couldn’t deal with this. The thought of having lost his other half forever kept him up at night and left him wandering in the day like a ghost, desperately looking for salvation. But it was a lost cause when his salvation was her. Living without Hyejin was hard, it felt like he had forgotten how to breathe. 

But he couldn’t rot in his bed and watch his life go by. He had to go to work, the same job that had torn them apart by keeping him too busy and stressing him too much. He had to hang out with his friends, or at least try to, not that he brought much to the table, only sad smiles and lame conversations as he counted time to go back home. But most importantly, he had to fight the urge to not pick up the phone and call her every time he was left alone. 

Hyejin needed time. She made it clear — at least he believed so, the memories of that talk were a mess in his head — that they needed a break even from being friends. She cut him out of her life and he had to respect that. 

But as weeks passed by, the anxiety in his chest grew. What if he had lost her forever? What if there was no space for him in her life not even as a friend? What if he fought harder and begged her to stay? Maybe she wanted to see him fight for her, to see how far he would go to keep her with him. Maybe he had done something wrong again, that was just another test he didn’t pass. 

But he had no certain answers, and he couldn’t find them anywhere, not in the alcohol he drowned in, or the wasted hours staring at a wall. 

He had lost the only answer he ever knew. 

Jaemin was sleeping with guilt in his heart. He hadn’t heard from Hyejin for weeks, and he had to watch Haechan go through the worst pain ever. 

And he wondered if maybe he had read too much into them, if he truly caused all of this just because he was jealous. 

But when Hyejin finally showed up at the door, he felt the guilt leave him. He couldn’t say she was happy, but from the talks at the bar, he could get she wanted to start brand new, and those conversations with him, as painful as they were, were also helpful. 

All the pain and guilt of the first weeks disappeared when they started to spend so much time together. Jaemin thought she hated him, so he couldn’t believe she was seeking comfort from him. And even if it was painful to be torn between her and Haechan (lying to him to don’t slap at his face he was still hanging out with Hyejin was more painful than he imagined) he had no other choice.

“Your room is pretty, you know?” Jaemin hummed while caressing her hair as they laid on the bed. 

“You’ve never seen it before?” Hyejin asked, rolling her head back to look at him, watching as he shook his head before replying. 

“Nope,” he replied. “I’ve been in the living room, kitchen and bathroom but never here.” 

Hyejin smiled softly, moving closer to him, enjoying the way his strong arms wrapped around her. It felt like a silly thought, but every time he hugged her, she could feel he was hiding some big muscles under the big sweaters, and she was a bit disappointed that even with the hotter weather he kept hiding them, usually under wide t-shirt that hid more than half of his arm.

“Are you listening?” 

“Mh, yeah, yeah, I am,” she replied, shaking her head, and cursing lowly for even thinking such things. “Okay, no, I wasn’t, sorry.” 

Jaemin chuckled, kissing her head before repeating. “It feels like a privilege being here.” 

“A privilege?” 

“Yeah, Yeri told me you don’t let many people here.” 

“Oh,” she gasped. “Well, it’s true. This room is like my safe place, I don’t like strangers to be in it. Honestly, I just don’t like staying here for too long. The only ones allowed are… was… Haechan and well, now you,” she mumbled, not knowing how to put it. Feeling a small twinge of pain in her chest naming Haechan. 

“Yeah, makes sense,” Jaemin whispered, fighting the urge to ask more questions about him. It was a topic she avoided, the main reason why they got so close was that he would keep Haechan out of her mind, so talking about him wasn’t a wise thing. 

“Iseul saw a cat today when I was walking her home from school,” so he changed the topic, surely talking about something that would’ve put her in a good mood, “she thought about you. So, she made me take a pic of her holding it, threatening me if I didn’t show it to you,” he said, giggling as he searched for his phone in his pocket to show her the photo.

Hyejin laughed, shifting to give him more space before pressing against his broad chest again, and waiting for him to find it in the gallery. “Oh, please, she’s so cute. I bet she named it.” 

“Yeah, of course, she named it,” Jaemin said, scrolling through the thousands of pictures the baby made him shoot, “guess what?” 

“Surely like food,” Hyejin said, not able to hide the big smile on her face as the pictures passed by her eyes. 

“You get it, it’s Kimchi.” 

“Kimchi? Did she also make you buy that?” 

Jaemin raised a brow as to ask as if it could be any more obvious and Hyejin laughed. “She’s so funny. You know she loves you so much, right?” 

“Yeah, I know. I love her too, I mean, she makes my days funnier, I’m not sure I want to work in a kindergarten just yet.” 

Hyejin smiled in reflex as she watched the smile on his face, and then her brain let out thoughts. “You’d make a great father.” 

Their eyes met and for a moment she felt the air stop and get heavy. She looked away and coughed. “I mean, kids love you, and you know how to take care of them. Whoever ends up with you is lucky.” 

Jaemin hummed, slowly nodding as he stared at her back now that she was sitting up straight, scratching her neck. “If someone ends up with me.” 

She scoffed. “Please, don’t act as if you’re ugly.” 

“You think I’m handsome?” He asked, bouncing on the bed to sit next to her. 

“I — I…” she mumbled, eyes skimming on his face, eyes, nose, lips, silky blonde hair framing everything that looked sculped by Gods. “I would be stupid to think you’re ugly.” 

A smile curled his lips, and he stared at her lips. “I think you’re beautiful too,” he whispered. 

She had no idea what was going on, but they both started to lean closer, too close, as their gazes were stuck on each other’s lips. It felt like being pulled by a magnet, a force stronger than their will, but it couldn’t be. She was the first one to back away, coughing awkwardly as she stood up and rubbed her nose before fixing her hair behind her ear. 

Jaemin only lowered his head, sighing disappointedly and feeling his heart sink into his chest. What was he even thinking? As if there was space for him like that in her life. 

“It’s dinner time, do you want to order something? There’s a place close to here that makes your favourite dish.” 

“Cleo?” 

Jaemin hummed. 

“That’s where I always go, it’s my favourite place.” 

“Great, I’ll order, then.” 

The night passed with no more awkward moments, even though they were still close to one another, sitting side by side on the bed while eating and watching their favourite movie on the laptop, and then laying on the bed to watch another one. 

Jaemin wasn’t much interested in the movie playing, his eyes moved on her every time she giggled or whispered something, getting lost in her beauty for too long. But by now he wasn’t surprised anymore, he had come to terms he loved her. And it was fine like this, even if she was never going to love him back. Not like he could her ask to, or even wish about, especially considering she had just broken up such a long relationship and surely still had feelings for Haechan. 

But Jaemin liked this nonetheless. Being friends with her was already a win for him, especially after the rough path they walked on for a bit. 

“Why don’t you stay?” When the movie ended, Jaemin barely noticed it and was taken by surprise when she spoke to him. 

“Mhh? What?” 

Hyejin chuckled, stretching her body and jumping off the bed. “I said, why don’t you stay?”

“For the night?” 

“No, for the day,” she joked, rolling her eyes. “Of course, dummy. It’s late, way past midnight. You can sleep here.” 

“Oh,” Jaemin gasped, lifting his wrist to check the time and realise it was indeed later than he expected. “You have another room?” 

Hyejin shook his head. “No, but my bed is big, I’m sure we can fit.” 

“You want me to sleep with you?” 

Hyejin sucked her lips, furrowing, “Yeah? Is it so weird?” 

“No, I — I just…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I didn’t want to make you drive back home, but you can leave if you feel uncomfortable.” 

“I don’t feel uncomfortable,” he replied right away. “I just wasn’t expecting it.” 

She giggled. “I asked you to sleep, not to do something else.” 

“I know,” he retorted, glaring at her. “I wasn’t hinting at anything, I would never do that,” he stuttered, looking around to avoid her teasing gaze. 

“Are you blushing?” She teased, jumping on the bed again to squeeze his cheeks. 

“Stop it!” Jaemin said, trying to push her away, but the vain attempt only made her laugh more. 

“I know I’m hot but I didn’t think I’d have such an effect on you,” she joked, getting up again, and sensually swinging her hips as she walked to the closet. 

Jaemin huffed, running his fingers through his hair as he watched her. Oh, how many things she didn’t know. “You don’t have an effect on me,” he clarified. “I usually don’t sleep with my friends.” 

“You slept with Haechan.” 

“Yes cause my bed was lost in Ulsan for some reason,” he justified, throwing a pillow at her. 

She laughed, shaking her head before turning around. “So, I guess you can do the sacrifice to squeeze in my bed?” 

Jaemin gulped, involuntarily getting lost in the way her slender fingers were moving to unbutton her button-up shirt before he mentally slapped himself and looked into her eyes, a glint of teasing shining in them. “Yeah, I can do that sacrifice.” 

“Good,” she smiled, walking out of the room after grabbing her clothes for the night. 

Once they were both ready for the night, they laid under the covers. Jaemin tried to stay as far as possible, feeling too hot to even think about her, but Hyejin had no intention of keeping personal space. 

“I don’t bite,” she said, glaring at him when he moved away. “Are you dating someone?” 

“What? What kind of question is that?” 

“I don’t know, we’ve been close to each other all day, we always are, and yet you’re acting like this,” she said, moving her hands to show him the space between them. “Is this weird because you’re dating someone?” 

“I’m not dating anybody,” he replied, sighing and rubbing his forehead. “It’s a bit… hot, I thought you wanted space.” 

“It’s hot?” She asked, lifting a brow. 

Jaemin gulped, meeting her eyes shyly. “Maybe I’m just not used sleep with these covers.” 

Hyejin hummed, biting her lower lip. “So, if we take them off, can I hug you?” 

He didn’t reply right away, trying to understand why she wanted to be this close. But he couldn’t find an answer that he liked. 

“Yeah, sure,” he said, lifting the heavy blanket from his body before shifting closer to her and opening his arm for her to lay on her chest. 

She immediately placed her head on his pecs, while her hand rested on his sternum and inhaled deeply. “That’s better,” she said.

Jaemin chuckled, fighting the awkwardness and caressing her nape in circles. “You love this, don’t you?” 

She hummed, snuggling against him. “Yeah, but it makes me fall asleep easily.” 

“Good, didn’t you say you were having troubles falling asleep?” 

“Yeah,” she replied. 

“Maybe I can be the cure.” 

Hyejin hummed, relaxing with each passing second, and before she could realise it, she fell into a deep slumber. 

Jaemin was the cure. 

“I hate summer so much,” Hyejin whined for the nth time, wiping away the sweat on her forehead with the back of her hand. 

Jaemin chuckled. “Yeah, I would’ve never guessed.” 

She rolled her eyes, ripping the cup from his hands before drinking it, and bringing it to her mouth. “Why does it have to be so hot?” 

He shrugged. “I don’t know, blame it on the climate changes.” 

Hyejin studied his face for a moment, watching the smile stay on his face as he stared at the horizon, and then she let her head fall behind against the wall, watching the sky change its colour as the night approached. 

It felt weird to be back at their place, it felt even weirder when Jaemin convinced her to come inside since Haechan was out (luckily it seemed like he was starting to move on and have fun on his own), she felt like a thief in a place that first felt like home. But on the balcony of Jaemin’s room, she felt a bit safer. 

Two months had passed by, and while her heart wasn’t completely mended, yet, she felt confident enough to say she was doing better. 

“I started painting again,” she whispered in the quiet of the night, lifting her feet on the handrail in front of her as she turned her face to her friend. 

“Really? That’s great. What did you paint?” 

She shrugged, shifting her head another time. “Things… emotions.” 

“Emotions?” Jaemin asked, a confused frown on his face as he let his eyes wander on her. He loved how she was so open with him now, body relaxing against the chair, while she only wore black shorts and a tiny, pink tank top. And he couldn’t hide the smile as he thought about when they first met, and how awkward they both were. It felt surreal to be this close and at ease with each other. “How can you paint emotions?” 

Her head rolled back as she breathed in a deeper breath and then scrolled her hair out of her face, bringing the glass to her lips before answering. “Without thinking. I like to use colours and not shapes,” she explained, smiling at him. “To be honest, I’ve never done it before, but it felt fitting. It felt therapeutic.” 

“What colours?” 

“Red,” she said, a bitter smile on her face. “I was angry and mad at love, I turned the colour that represents love into a dark mix of black and brown.” 

Jaemin let out a bitter chuckle, lowering his head as sadness washed over him. “Love, uhm?” 

“Yeah, I… I thought a lot about what you said to me and I…” she breathed deeply. “I don’t think I love him anymore.” 

He raised a brow. “Are you talking about…?” 

“Yes, about him, who else could I be talking about?” She giggled. “I miss him, of that I’m sure. But now that he’s not been part of my days, and I could think about these past years over and over again, I realized I was just hanging on to a dream. And I’m so mad at me for this, for not loving him anymore, because I feel so lost when loving him was all I knew.” 

“But you love many things, not only him.” 

“I do, but there’s… there’s this anger that I feel because things didn’t go as planned, because I got lost in a dream, because…” she sighed. “I lost my best friend. Love made me lose my best friend and my partner, my lover.” 

Jaemin nodded, keeping his gaze on her face, watching it saddened a bit. “Why don’t you… talk to him? He misses you, too.” 

“I know he does, but I’m not ready. I’m learning how to walk on my own, I’m meeting new people. And I feel like I’m finally growing up, you know?” 

Jaemin hummed.

“I’m sorry, I annoy you so much,” she apologized, but Jaemin immediately stopped her. 

“I like listening to you,” he said. “Did you draw something else?” 

“Just that… until the canvas turned black. And then I set fire to it.” 

“You did what?” He gasped, raising his voice. 

“I needed to let it go!” She justified, shrugging. 

“By setting things on fire?” 

“I told you it was therapeutic,” she defended.  

“Remind me to don’t stay too close to you when you’re mad,” he joked, shaking his head before he took a sip again. 

She chuckled. “I was mad because I felt like I wasted so much time of my life on something that wasn’t meant to be. I feel like I wanted too much and lost everything.” 

“It’s not wasted time if you loved,” he said, facing her. “So… you don’t love him anymore?” 

“I don’t know, everything with him has been so blurry, I… I never had anybody else, I don’t know what’s love and friendly love and just attraction, I… but I’m so afraid of going out and just kissing the first person that passes by.” 

Jaemin didn’t reply, he stared at her, the nervous playing of her fingers, the bouncing of her legs, and then her lips. Those lips he wanted to kiss so badly. 

“Kiss me,” he said, eyes locking into hers, not drifting away not even when hers widened in shock. “I’m not the first person that passes by.” 

“But — but you’re my friend, wouldn’t this be the same as kissing him?” 

“Would it?” 

Hyejin gulped, thinking about it for a moment, staring at his lips. How soft they looked, she wouldn’t have wasted a second doing it if only… if only… 

“I don’t think it’s wise.” 

“Come on, it’s just a kiss.” 

“But what would it prove? I — I know I don’t like you,” she said, panicking when she was Jaemin’s eyes losing their typical sparkle. “No, wait, I just mean I want you like a friend, not a lover.” 

Jaemin nodded, turning around, and getting up. “I know, it’s not like I wanted you to want me like that.” 

“No, I’m sorry. Are you offended?” She asked, standing up, and blocking him from going inside. 

“No, it was a dumb proposal anyway. I’m sorry, I surely made you uncomfortable. I just… I hate when I can’t help you, so I come up with a stupid thing,” he said, but he still avoided her eyes for most of the talk. “You should go outside, a club, or let one of your friends set up a date. You will never truly move on if you don’t see the different shades a relationship can have.” 

Hyejin wanted to stop him again but when he tugged his wrist away, she had to let him go, standing on the balcony as he walked out of the room. She turned around, placing her elbows on the handrail, and looked at the view in front of her. Maybe she should’ve kissed him, maybe she should’ve let her impulses take over, but she didn’t want to lose another friend. She loved spending time with Jaemin, and she felt like only a few people — probably only Haechan — got her like he did. So his other solution was the most rational one. She needed to go out and flirt with people, throw herself on the dating ground and try to experience things she had never done before. It was the only way to move on from Haechan. 

Haechan was doing better, some days he dared to say he was doing good, but then a random wave of sadness would wash over him and he felt like being back at the start. But those waves of sadness started to happen less, at least. He would keep himself busy, trying to hang out with his friends as much as possible to don’t stay at home and rot on the couch, and when he had to stay in, there was always Jaemin to keep him company.

Now, always... Jaemin was mostly out, doing things. Haechan didn’t get why he was so vague every time he asked where he was going or what he was doing, but he didn’t care enough to pry. Jaemin was reserved about his private life, and maybe he just met someone to spend time with. Haechan was happy for him, and he was sure it was just a matter of time before his friend would’ve opened up and spoken about this person he had fallen for. 

Unfortunately, he had other things to worry about. And that was himself. He missed Hyejin, but he was waiting for her to text him first, or do any kind of first move. But not seeing her, not hearing her laugh, not listening to her day, pained him when he was left alone with his thoughts. 

He had no idea how she was doing. When Zoya showed up at his place months ago, he had begged her to check on her, since she wasn’t even replying to Jaemin, but after that, he didn’t dare to ask. He hoped she was doing fine, but if that was true, it also meant that he was so easy to forget, and that hurt even more. 

The worst pain of this all was that he had no idea if he was mourning love or friendship, maybe both, so that was why it hurt so much 

“What are you doing here?” 

“What am I doing here? Really, Hyuck?” Zoya asked, pushing him back to make her way into the apartment. “You’ve been avoiding me, and you ask why I’m here.” 

Haechan didn’t reply, he stared at the floor. Well, so, not only he didn’t want to know about Hyejin, but he was doing everything in his power to avoid Zoya. 

“Why? What have I done?” 

“Nothing,” he replied, lifting his gaze. “I need to be alone. Is it so crazy?” 

“You are hanging out with everyone except me,” she said, crossing her arms on her chest. “What happened?” 

Haechan sighed. “Do I have to hang out with you?” 

“I just would like to know what happened since we used to do it when you were dating but now you can’t even pick up the phone?” 

“Oh, you want to know what happened,” he laughed. “Very funny for someone that disappears without giving a reason.” 

“Seriously? I explained it to you, I thought we were fine with that.” 

“We were fine with that because I’m an asshole and I welcomed you in again without thinking twice, fucking up my relationship with Hyejin because, fuck, four years later and I still care so much about you, no matter all the pain you put me through. But no, dear, you never explained why you left me without saying a word, you never explained why you never picked up my phone calls or never answered my texts when I was worried sick because I had no idea where you were, with who you were and what you were doing. I feared you were taken back against your will, I thought that if only you’d spoken to me I could’ve helped you stay here even if your parents’ jobs required you to leave with them. I fucking asked my mother if she would’ve been fine with letting you stay with us, hopelessly thinking you would’ve at least let me know you weren’t hating having to go back to India. I blamed myself because maybe you were telling me something with your talks about how much you loved being in Korea and how happy you were to be here, how when you were a child you would’ve never expected to love a place you hated so much,” Haechan ranted, veins popping out of his arms as tears streamed down his face. “And you were fine, I bet you took the opportunity of your parent’s jobs to go back and erase everything as if it had never been,” he breathed out. 

“I… I can’t tell you why I left, but I’m sorry, I told you many times how sorry I am,” Zoya whispered, fighting back the tears that were making it hard to talk and see. 

“Yeah, you are, but don’t expect me to be open about what I’m going through when you can’t be open with me.” 

“You would hate me if I gave you the reason, and you would think that… that everything is a twisted joke on you.” 

He shrugged. “I’m used to it.” 

Zoya sighed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand to dry the tears. “I don’t want to leave you alone. You and Hyejin have always been close to me when nobody wanted me, when I was just a small kid not knowing what she was doing in a foreign country, I…”

“We’re not those kids anymore, Zoya,” he said, looking into her eyes. Those eyes that still caused shivers to roll down his spine, those eyes he didn’t want to see because he would always get lost in them. Every eye contact was like a thunder striking him without his consent. And he felt like he had lied saying those words because if he focused on her face a bit more, he could still see the little girl he knew, the one that turned into the teenager that stole his heart before tearing it into pieces. “And I don’t know what I’m feeling, for her, for you, for me. It’s like a big tangle, and I’m stuck in the middle of it. I feel like I’ve already lost her, and I don’t know if I’ll also lose you.” 

She shook her head, walking closer to him, wanting to hug him but didn’t. “You will never lose me,” she reassured. “And you will never lose her, she just needs time and space. I’ve seen love a few times in my life and I swear that I’ve never seen it as strong as in her eyes when they would fall on you. You two are something that can’t be torn apart, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t have obstacles to surpass.” 

Haechan lowered his head. “But what if I don’t want to surpass them? I had her by my side.” 

“And maybe you took her for granted?” Zoya said, and Haechan looked into her eyes. “Sometimes you have to lose something to know how much you care for it.” 

“I knew how much I cared for it even before,” he defended. 

“If she left maybe it wasn’t so clear.” 

“So what do I have to do? Look for her? Force her into a relationship she doesn’t want? Beg her to take me back?” 

She shook her head. “You have to wait, and she will come back to you.” 

“I swear, we should do this more often,” Hyejin giggled as she poured the soju down her throat. 

“Careful, don’t get too drunk,” Jaemin warned her after doing the same, placing the bottle on the countertop. 

“I have a good tolerance,” she replied. “That club sucked.” 

“People suck,” he corrected. 

“True,” she chuckled, opening a kitchen shelf to look for food. “Chips?” She asked, lifting a bag of paprika chips. 

“I’d love something more filling but this will do.” 

She smiled, ripping the package. “Your room? What if he comes back?” 

“He’s out tonight, said he’ll sleep over to Yang.” 

“Can we still go up? I want to sit on the balcony,” she pouted. 

“Whatever you wish,” he said, “Go, I’ll bring the rest.” 

Five minutes later they were sitting on the balcony, the usual view as always as they shared a bag of chips and some drinks.  

“Thank you for stopping that man before,” she said. 

“Nothing,” he smiled. 

“Wasn’t in the mood to fuck him.” 

Jaemin giggled. “Not what you said when I picked you up tonight,” he said. “Tonight I’m getting laid,” he mimicked her voice and she laughed after pushing him away. 

“I said I wasn’t in the mood to fuck him, not to don’t fuck in general,” she specified. 

Jaemin looked over, pinching her arm. “You’re still not getting laid tonight.” 

“It’s a shame don’t you think so?” She asked, voice dropping lower as she teased him twirling her hair. 

“Indeed, it is,” Jaemin replied, running his tongue on his lips as his eyes lingered on her for a second. 

“Got so pretty for nothing,” she pouted, pointing with her head at her clothes. 

“The butterfly top is pretty,” he hummed. 

“What about the skirt?” She asked, crossing her legs, making the fabric rise up on her smooth thighs. 

Jaemin gulped, paying little to no attention to the black skirt, too focused on her soft thighs and the way her hands, covered in jewellery, touched her skin. “Pretty.” 

“It’s really a waste,” she huffed, pushing the skirt down and yawing, making him snap out of his trance, nodding and forcing his gaze on the horizon. “But at least it’s not too hot.” 

“No, not hot at all,” he forced out, trying to don’t think about the dirty thoughts his brain was screaming. He wanted her, now more than ever. It was already a miracle he didn’t ask her to kiss him while they danced together all night after he had to push some creeps away. But this felt like it was too much. And he couldn’t understand if she was doing it on purpose or if she had no idea of the power she had over him. Or maybe she thought it was just attraction, but to Jaemin was so much more than that. 

“Can we dance?” 

“Can we what?” He asked, turning around but the chair next to him was already empty as she was inside, busy to turn the music on. 

“I’ve always wanted to try the speakers,” she said, putting a playlist on youtube and connecting her phone to them. 

“Not too loud,” he said, “the neigh—”

“Shh,” she shut him up, placing a finger on his lips while her arm wrapped around his neck and her hips started moving to the sensual music. “Don’t think about anything.” 

Jaemin wanted to retort, and even question why the music was so sensual, but he stood no chance with her eyes silently commanding him. So his shoulders dropped as he tried to relax to the music; a struggle when her body was grinding on his and her face was so close. 

It felt natural, their bodies swinging to the rhythm as if they got those movements down by heart, as if it was supposed to be like this. Daring hands touching dangerous patches of skin, lips wanting so badly to get a taste, and eyes that were screaming thousands of secret thoughts. 

It took Jaemin a while to realize what was going on, with his eyes closed, letting the music move him, he thought he was making the soft touch on his lips up, but when his eyes parted and she was standing face to face, he realized it was reality. 

“What — what are you doing?” He asked, involuntary tightening the hold on her waist. 

“Can I kiss you?” She answered with another question, eye contact not faltering not even for a second, and he wondered if she was the same Hyejin as always. 

“I — I don’t think we should be doing this,” he mumbled, throat dry and legs weak. 

“But you said I should try to kiss you and see how it feels,” she said, caressing his cheek. “I want to know what you feel like.” 

“I’m… I’m bland, I don’t feel like — oh,” his words died down when her lips crashed against his, cupping his cheeks while the hand on her lower back pushed her flat on his body, lifting her from the floor for a split second. 

Hyejin’s hand tightened on his neck, feeling her head spin, and she knew she couldn’t blame it on the alcohol. This was anything but bland. It felt like thousands of unspoken words and feelings being rushed on her, sweeping her like a wave. The shyness of their lips lasted less than ten seconds, and then Jaemin got braver. His touch was strong, and his lips were greedy, kissing her like she hadn’t been kissed for months. 

“Jaemin,” she gasped when she pulled away for air. 

“Yeah?” He asked, leaning in for another one, not giving her time to continue. But it wasn’t like Hyejin had any words left in her brain. This was breathtaking and addictive. A new kind of attraction she didn’t even know she could feel. 

“Jaemin,” she screamed when he lifted her up, her legs swiftly wrapping around his waist, and trapped her against her wall. “God,” she moaned when he grabbed her wrists and pushed them over her head, lips moving to kiss down her neck, until he reached for the curves of her boobs, playfully biting down the soft skin. 

“I need you,” Jaemin whispered, climbing up again, whispering against her swollen lips. “Please, let me have you,” he said, caressing her cheek, “I promise I’ll make you feel so good.” 

Hyejin nodded, struggling to give him a vocal response as her body moved on its own, grinding on him and searching for more contact. “Please,” was the only whimper she could make come out of her lips, but it was more than enough for Jaemin to keep going where he stopped. A curse rolled from her mouth when he pressed his hips against her, making her feel how hard he was already, while his hands frenetically moved to untie the knots behind her back, soon letting the top fall loose on her before he pushed it off her arms, throwing it in a corner of the room. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he muttered, staring at her bare chest, cupping her boob as he trapped her lips in another kiss. 

“Jaemin, please,” she begged in the kiss. 

“You want me? Want me to stop fucking around and make you feel good?” 

“Yes.” 

Jaemin had no idea what was running in his body at that moment, driving him to act in a way he never acted before, craving her like he never craved anybody else before. He swiftly moved around to throw her on the bed, standing tall in front of her as he worked to take his clothes off, baring himself to her eyes, watching even the smallest of her reaction with a smirk on his face. 

Hyejin had no idea either, she wasn’t even sure she felt that attraction before that night, and yet here she was, already wetting her panties just from the sight of his body, toned and beautiful just like she had imagined a thousand times before (maybe the attraction was there before that night, she was just in denial). She gulped, squeezing her thighs together when he pushed the boxers down, revealing his big, hard dick. 

But as much as Jaemin would’ve liked to indulge in the sight of her surprise, he needed her. And in a second his body was on hers again, slipping off her skirt in a swift movement. When he kissed her again, pushing her against the mattress, her hands couldn’t help but wander on him, feeling his skin under her touch before reaching his hair and pulling strongly, making him groan. 

A shaky breath rolled from her lips when his hand sneaked between their bodies and rubbed on her wet panties. 

Jaemin chuckled. “So wet and sensitive, aren’t you?” 

She hummed, not so confident anymore of keeping eye contact. 

“And I barely even touched you,” he said, pulling the crotch to the side to move his tips on her slit and clit. 

Hyejin would’ve liked to disagree, that was a lot for her. That passion, that need, was something that had been missing from her life for so long. And honestly, probably had never been much into it. She had never been lifted on her feet to be kissed, nobody ever pressed her against a wall and tried to undress her with rush and need. She never felt this wanted. And she couldn’t care there wasn’t love behind this, because it felt new and refreshing, and Jaemin was going to make her lose her mind. 

“Fuck, babe, didn’t even have to push them in, look at how easy you’re taking them,” he whispered, bringing her back to earth, shyly trying to look between their bodies to see what he was doing. But his fingers curling so nicely and deep into her made her head roll back, mouth open as she moaned with no care. 

The house was empty anyway. They had nothing to worry about. 

Her hands clenched around the bedsheet when Jaemin’s lips made contact with her skin, starting to kiss and nibble at her jaw and neck as his two fingers never stopped doing wonders. Her whole body was on fire, back arching as she searched for more, eyes rolled back hidden behind her closed eyelids, and lips parted. 

That was, to Jaemin, the prettiest view in the world. And he had to blink a few times to make sure it wasn’t a fantasy, that he didn’t have to blame it on the alcohol, but she was truly underneath him. “You can’t be real,” he whispered, staring at her face, contorted in an expression of pleasure. 

Hyejin felt her heart twirl in her chest. She had never been touched like this by somebody that wasn’t him, never even ever imagined what other hands and lips could feel like, and she couldn’t believe this was what was waiting for her. That this pleasure was the something new that was missing. It was wild to her how much chemistry she was feeling flooding between her and Jaemin. How could he possibly be so good at playing her like a violin? Touching her as if he had been doing that for ages. 

“I’m close,” she whimpered when she felt her stomach tighten. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting but surely not for him to fasten the pace of his fingers inside and the thumb on her clit, taking her breath away. “Jaemin,” she cried out, legs bending up in a twitch. 

“Come on, you can take it,” he reassured her with no intention of slowing down, grabbing the hand that was clenching on the sheet as he sat up to have a perfect view of her trembling body. “That’s it, that’s it,” he encouraged, watching her hips lift from the mattress and feeling her pussy clench around his fingers. 

“I — I…” she moaned, trying to find the words to describe what she was feeling but it was impossible since she never felt that way before. And before she could think another coherent thought, her orgasm got the best of her, hitting harder than ever before, making her legs tremble while her head rolled back and her eyes rolled in the back of her skull. 

“Fuck,” Jaemin moaned when a jet of liquid hit his arm, coating it with thicker and more liquid slick. Shocked he had made her squirt so easily, but even more amazed at the way her body reacted to his touch. He didn’t stop moving, not caring if that meant adding even more mess as she kept squirting until the orgasm died down and she begged for him to stop. 

“Shit,” Hyejin huffed, moving her hair back and forcing her neck to lift her head to come face to face with the aftermath of her orgasm. “What have I done?” 

Jaemin pulled his fingers out, licking them clean, and then stared at her with a confused expression. “You’ve never done this before?” 

She bit her lip, shaking her head with a faint red tint on her cheeks. “No. What was that?” 

“You squirted?” 

“I can do that?” 

“Well, you did,” he chuckled. “It was pretty fucking hot if I have to be honest.” 

She didn’t reply, only giggled before her body fell lack on the mattress again. 

Jaemin chuckled back before he was where he was before, hands resting at the sides of her face and lower body pressed against hers. “I’m not done with you,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. “Tell me you want this. Tell me you want me.” 

“I want you,” she said without hesitating not even for a moment. “Please.” 

That was all he needed to push into her. 

“Oh,” she gasped when he was halfway in and kept slowly making its way in, stretching her with each inch sinking deeper until he bottomed down.  

“Are you okay?” He asked, standing on his elbows to be closer to her body, his chest pressing against hers, while their lips almost brushed. 

“Yeah, it’s just been a while and it’s… big,” she chuckled awkwardly, “but it feels good, you can move.” 

And so he did, going back on his hands to move more freely, driving his hips back before thrusting forward. 

“You feel so good,” he breathed out, eyes falling where their bodies met before moving to her face again. “So, so fucking good.” 

She wanted to reply and say she felt the same, letting him know how much she loved the feeling of being filled and fucked, but it was already impossible to speak coherent words.  

Jaemin had so many things to say, but he had no courage to ruin this moment with feelings that weren’t returned. All he could do was try to show her how much he loved her and cared for her. He couldn’t whisper in her ear how lucky he felt at that moment, or how much he wished to be this intimate with her, he couldn’t even tell her he loved her. So he kept reminding him that this was enough, and it didn’t matter if tomorrow everything went back like before. He had her, and that was all that mattered. 

But it was hard to don’t slip on those three words when she looked so pretty underneath him and kept moaning his name, loudly in the night with no care someone would hear. Why should have this ended in another way when they fit so well together? Jaemin didn’t get it, but he didn’t want to stain this moment with sadness, so he focused on her. Leaving kisses on her neck and chest, and touching her body all over because he needed to be reminded that this was real. 

“Is this why you dressed up tonight and danced with me the whole time?” He teased. “You wanted me all along, didn’t you?” 

She hummed, looking into his eyes but seeing blurry as all the pleasure got into her brain more and more. 

“As if you need to do all that to get me on my knees,” he thought he said that to himself, well, slow enough she couldn’t hear, but those words reached her perfectly, and she wasn’t sure it was just a play for the sake of the dirty talk or if he really meant it. 

“Jae, I’m close,” she breathed out, deciding not to think too much about it. Also, it wasn’t the first time Jaemin made it clear he found her beautiful and attractive, there’s was nothing to worry about. 

“Yeah? Gonna come?”

“Yes, fuck,” she moaned, swallowing hard. 

“Already, pretty girl? How desperate are you, uhm?”

She opened her mouth to reply but he stopped her with a click of tongue and a thumb on her lips. “Don't answer, I can see how desperate you are. How badly you need this, to be fucked good, and nice, and deep.”

Her body trembled at his words, and she couldn’t hold it in anymore, coming around his dick as hard as before, feeling the air leave her lungs and lust fill her brain completely, triggering his orgasm too with no warning. 

When they laid there, they both felt stuck in a euphoric state they couldn’t explain. Surely for different reasons, but it felt like that chemistry couldn’t be turned off. 

Right when Jaemin was about to turn over and ask her if she wanted to take a shower, he found Hyejin on top of him, pressing him down the mattress, kissing him roughly. 

“I need more,” she whispered in the kiss, grinding on top of him. “Just for tonight.” 

Jaemin nodded, stunned, not expecting her to initiate something for the second time. But he also needed more. “I’ll give it to you,” he replied, hands cupping her ass as she slowly lowered on his dick, letting out shaky whimpers as he filled her again. “I’ll give you everything you want.” 

“Oh, I finally get to meet you,” Haechan joked, entering the kitchen, seeing someone sitting on the stool, wearing Jaemin’s shirt, and giving him their back. “Though, Jaem, the rooms are not soundproof and you kept me up all night.” 

When the person on the stool turned around and Haechan saw her face, he could swear he could feel the moment stop. He stood there, frozen and speechless, the only part of him moving were his eyes, skimming back and forth from his best friend’s and ex’s shocked faces. 

Nobody spoke. Nobody dared to say anything. Haechan wasn’t supposed to be at home that night, so they didn’t even expect him to be up so early in the morning as they both knew how much he slept when he didn’t have to go to work and slept over to someone else. But Haechan was there, staring at them while silent tears started streaming down his face and mixed emotions started to overwhelm him. 

“You — you two are…” he mumbled, pointing a finger at them, trying to understand what hurt the most. His best friend fucking his ex. Or his ex fucking his best friend. “You two are fucking?” 

“Haechan, is not what —” 

“Is not what? You’re fucking my best friend?” 

Hyejin got up, shaking her head. “It only happened once.” 

“Once? I fucking heard everything! You kept going all night!” 

“Oh my god,” she whispered, rubbing her hands on her face because that was so embarrassing. As if he wasn’t the one hearing her moans once, or seeing her naked, but now it felt weird. It wasn’t for him anymore. “We’ve never done that before.” 

“Wait,” he said, taking a moment to think about the past weeks. “Have you two been hanging out all this time?” 

“Why does it matter?” Jaemin tried to intervene, coming to her side. 

“It does because you told me she wasn’t picking up your calls, and she wanted to keep her distance, and look at you,” Haechan said, scoffing bitterly. “Oh my god, is she… is she all the times you were busy? All the times you were vague about what you were doing? When you couldn’t explain why I couldn’t come with you, it was because you were with her?” 

“Yes, I was,” Jaemin snapped, bringing his hands in the air. “And what about it? Me and her were friends, well, are friends,” he specified, a twinge of pain in his heart. “Why do you care?” 

“Because I just wanted to know she was fine and you couldn’t even tell me she was,” he replied. “Fucking dumbass,” he murmured to himself, “I’m so fucking stupid. Always worrying you are hurt or something and look at you, fucking my best friend.” 

“I was hurt,” she said, deeply offended by his assumption. “You think I was happy?” 

“Well, I don’t know, you broke up with me,” Haechan screamed. “Was it because of him?” 

“What are you saying?” She asked, starting to feel her throat close as tears menaced to have their best on her. 

“Oh, please don’t act dumb, Hyejin,” he said, sniffling. “Of course, you like him. I should’ve seen it.” 

“I don’t, we’re friends.” 

“And since when you fuck with friends?” Haechan asked with more urgency in his tone, taking a step closer to her. 

“I told you it only happened last night, and it’s none of your business,” she screamed. 

“It is when you accused me of being in love with someone else to break up with me and then you were the one in love with someone else all along.” 

“You are out of your mind,” she spat out, furrowing as her heart clenched. 

“Oh, really?” he asked before throwing his head behind and pushing down tears. “For how long has this been going on?” 

“There’s nothing between us,” Jaemin said firmly.

Haechan clicked his tongue, tilting his head to the side as he let out another bitter snicker. “No? Who are you kidding? You said I was busy thinking about Zoya as if you didn’t spend our last months together attached to him by the hip, Hyejin! You were always giggling and doing shits together and you still had the gut to blame me for your crazy ass fantasies about Zoya!” 

“I never… I never blamed you.” 

“Please, if that’s not the literal reason you broke up with me,” he retorted angrily, his gaze on her full of disgust and betrayal before it moved to his friend. “And you? I gave you a house and you came by charming my girlfriend? Aren’t you ashamed?” 

“Ashamed? I should be ashamed for not treating her like an ornament like you did?” Jaemin snapped. “I was always there for her because I wanted to be there for her, because I cared for her, and I hated to see her smile drop every time she wanted to do something and, guess what, you would always say no,” Jaemin yelled, walking closer to him, making him walk back to the door, leaving Hyejin behind his broad back. “You lost her because you didn’t cherish her enough, because you didn’t care to listen to her or to make her truly happy. So tell me, have I charmed her, or did you take her for granted?” 

Haechan didn’t reply, he briefly looked over at Hyejin that was staring at them with eyes wide open as tears streamed down her face, and before he could think twice, his body reacted. 

“Haechan!” Her scream bounced in the kitchen walls when his fist landed on Jaemin’s face, making him take a few steps back holding his cheek in pain. 

“You don’t have a say in our relationship, you don’t know shit about me and how hard these past months have been. You don’t know me! And you don’t know how much I loved her. It’s so easy for you to come in and be the prince of the situation, the saviour, the one that has his shits together, it has always been easy for you to do that, right?” 

“Really? You’re telling me I lied? You’re telling me she didn’t come third in your priorities if not less?” Jaemin said, glaring at him as he once again moved closer, hand in the air to hit back while Haechan was about to do the same. 

“Don’t you fucking dare —”

“Stop it!” Hyejin screamed, putting herself in between them. “Are you two stupid?” 

“Are you listening to what he’s saying? Do you think that too? Do you think I didn’t love you enough?” 

Hyejin didn’t reply, she only stared into his dark eyes and let the silence give him an answer he didn’t like. 

“Why couldn’t you be fucking honest then? Why did you have to lie when we broke up? Why do you hate me?” 

“I don’t hate you,” she whispered, shaking her head as if she wanted to push out all the pain and noises. “I could never hate you!” 

Haechan sighed, looking down at the floor, not daring to watch how she held Jaemin’s shaking hand instead of his. Everything made sense. “You moved on so easily, everybody moves on so easily,” he whispered. 

“Hyuck, we —”

“Don’t call me Hyuck, that name is not yours to call anymore. I’m not yours anymore in any kind of way. Fuck you, fuck our friendship, and fuck everything that has ever been between us,” he retorted, taking a step away. “I’m so fucking happy for you, go and live your happy life with your prince charming, the one that doesn’t have problems, the one that will always put you first, he surely loves you so much, my love will feel like a drop in the ocean compared to his.” 

“Haechan,” she called, feeling her heart sink in her chest as he walked toward the door, following him, only then letting go of Jaemin’s hand. “Please, stop. We don’t even love each other.” 

Haechan scoffed. “Funny you say that as if you didn’t tell me I still love Zoya and you don’t see the same love in my eyes. You always know what’s best for everyone, how can you not know what’s best for you?” 

She didn’t reply, feeling guilty and confused. “Where are you going? This is your place.”

“Away. I don’t want to see you, or him. You can fuck somewhere else in the house if yesterday wasn’t enough.” 

When the door slammed shut, more tears started falling down Hyejin’s face, she stayed there, staring at the wooden door as if she could turn back time and change everything of what happened, until she heard sounds coming from the kitchen that reminded her she wasn’t alone, and she wasn’t the only one hurt. 

“Sorry,” she apologized entering the room, “you need ice.” 

“No, it’s fine,” Jaemin said, trying to stop her from opening the freezer but all in vain. 

“He hit you.” 

“Yeah, and he had all reasons to do so,” he replied, chuckling bitterly and shaking his head as he sat on a chair, throwing his head back.  

“No, he didn’t.” Jaemin hissed when she placed the cold item on his cheekbone after wrapping it in a towel. “You were right, and he had no reason to get so mad about us.” 

“I was right but I wouldn’t be happy to hear those things, and I fucked up saying he didn’t love you,” he explained, leaning his head against her chest while her arms kept him close to her. “I’m sorry I put you in this situation, I should’ve said no last night.” 

“No,” she said resolutely. “I wanted to do that, I don’t regret it. You wanted me, right?” 

Jaemin took a moment to reply, if only he could scream how much he wanted her, if only it didn’t sound so pathetic after she made it clear there was nothing more going on between them. “I did, but I didn’t want it to lead to this.” 

“But I’m free to do what I want. I don’t belong to him. We’re not dating anymore, and I didn’t break up with him to stay with you.” 

Jaemin hummed, too tired to add anything to the conversation. Why couldn’t he have one nice thing without watching it crumble apart in a second? Why was he so stupid? Why did he fall for the wrong people?

“Hey, I loved being with you last night, I don’t want you to regret this,” she said, caressing his hair, pressing a bit harder on the swollen cheek, making him groan. 

“I don’t regret it but…” he sighed, “now he’s mad, and we all fought, and… how do you fix this?” 

“By talking to him,” she said. “I know him, he just needs to cool down, and then I’ll explain for the nth time why I broke us off. He will understand.” 

“I hope so,” Jaemin whispered, letting his head fall in her warm embrace again. He wasn’t so sure about it. 

Hyejin was right. After three days of cold shoulders, the three of them managed to sit down and talk about what had happened. It was easy to apologize for the harsh words and acts, but it was a bit harder to make Haechan believe she didn’t fall for his best friend months ago. 

And even if Haechan was now sure about it, he couldn’t help but seethe every time he saw them together. He wanted to be the bigger person, but he wasn’t that mature yet. So that, and his need to at least have her around again, led to him nervously bounce his leg or play with his fingers as he heard them laugh in another room, or cook together, or watch a movie cuddled on the couch. 

We’re not dating. 

That was what they kept telling him, and pretty much everybody. 

Bullshits. 

It was what Haechan thought every time. 

Maybe they weren’t, but denying the feelings that were so evident between them, was absurd to him. 

But at least he —partially— had Hyejin back, right? That should’ve been the positive outcome of the whole situation; the healing of his suffering. Yet, it didn’t feel like it. 

So he tried to lock himself in his room and don’t even think about what was going on outside. The plan was successfully failing, he needed a bigger distraction, and he had tried pretty much everything — from going out to drinking himself to sleep, and nothing worked.

“Can we talk?” Haechan asked, standing in front of Hyejin that was sitting on the couch, cuddled up against the armrest, busy reading a book. 

Her eyes flickered up, staring at him as she shook the momentary confusion off. “Sure, sit,” she replied, patting the empty space next to her while bookmarking the page before placing the book on the coffee table in front of her. 

Haechan coughed, sitting down almost as if he was a stranger in his own house, and he suddenly got why he hated seeing her there so much. It reminded him how much she was part of his routine, how she would always try to spend time there for him, how much this felt like her house too, and now it was all for someone else. 

“Haechan?” She called his name when he didn’t talk. 

“Where’s Jaemin?” 

“In the shower,” she replied so nonchalantly as if it was so normal that she was waiting for him just like she used to do with him. “Why?” 

Haechan shook his head, pressing his lips in a thin line to swallow the bitterness he felt rise. “Just asking.” 

“Do you need the living room? I can go to his room —”

“No,” he stopped her, going to touch her with his hand but stopping mid-air. “I wanted to talk.” 

Hyejin sat back down, confusion even more evident on her face as she tried to decipher his expression. “Is this about the other day?” 

“No, we’ve already discussed it,” he said, leg bouncing nervously as he stared at the floor. “I just wanted to make conversation.” Lie. He wanted answers. Answers to questions not even he knew. If only there was something that made sense in his mind. 

“Oh, sure,” she replied, shifting to sit better. 

And when Haechan looked into her eyes he wondered if she couldn’t read him anymore or if she didn’t care to do it anymore, the latter was somehow much worse than the first one. 

“I heard you started painting again,” he said, trying to hide the tremble in his voice and look into her eyes, feeling his heart warm up when her eyes lightened up. 

“Yeah, I did,” she replied, smiling brightly. “Did Jaemin tell you?” 

“No, I… I overheard the other day while you were making, what was it? Bracelets?” He asked, faking he didn’t sulk on that for days as he regretted all the times he said ‘no’ when she asked to try to do DIY stuff just for fun. “Yes, bracelets,” he said when she hummed. “I was cooking but staring at the pot wasn’t interesting, so my ears got caught, sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine,” she giggled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

An awkward silence followed, something so jarring in their everyday life. They had shared their every day since they were three years old and there had never been an awkward silence or a dull moment between them, this was something they had no idea how to deal with, something that looked so scary if they dared to lean over and look at what the future held for them. 

This was the exact reason why Haechan was terrified of letting those cursed three words slip from his mouth three years ago. And he couldn’t believe his biggest fear was staring at him right in the eyes, mocking him carelessly. 

“I’m happy for you,” he said, letting her know the first thing that his brain could make up. It wasn’t a nicety, he truly was. Well, maybe he wasn’t exactly happy she moved on so easily, leaving him in the back as if a blow of wind had taken everything that had been between them, but he was glad she was happy and in love, whether it was because of Jaemin or her biggest passion. 

“I’m ha — thanks,” she said, stopping mid-phrase, when she realized she didn’t know what was going on in his life. “What are you up to?” 

Haechan shrugged. Maybe it was better not to have her at all if this was the only way he could have her now. It felt like a mockery she wasn’t the first one to know what he was up to. It felt crazy she couldn’t be happy for him because she didn’t know if he had something to be happy about. 

“Just the usual,” he shrugged, looking around the room, counting down the seconds for Jaemin to walk out of the bathroom so he could have an excuse to leave. 

“Did you see Zoya lately?” 

But at those words he snapped his neck to her, a deep furrow creasing his forehead. “Is this a test?” 

“No, I’m — I was just asking…” 

“Why would you ask about her?” 

Hyejin mouthed something, rubbing her neck. “I was just making conversation, she’s our friend.” 

“She’s the reason you broke up with me,” he replied, more bitterly than it sounded in his mind.  

“Haechan, do we have to do this again?” 

“We’re not doing it again, I just don’t get why you would bring her up. Don’t go back to your words, you told me you felt I still loved her and didn’t love you anymore, so why am I the bad guy when I remind you that?” 

Hyejin sighed. “I’m sorry, I… I wasn’t teasing, I was just genuinely asking. She told me you were avoiding her.” 

Haechan snickered, shaking his hair before getting up. “Of course, she did, you two are best friends now, right?” 

She furrowed, not understanding his sudden switch. “We’ve always been friends.” 

“Don’t act as if you loved her, you hated every time she came around.”

“I hated the way you looked at her, I never hated her,” she clarified, clenching her hand nervously next to her leg.  

Haechan scoffed, cocking his head to the side. “Oh, really? And how did I look at her?” 

“Like you loved her!” She screamed. 

“But when I say you and Jaemin love each other I’m the crazy one, right?” 

“What’s going on here?” Jaemin asked, entering the room with hesitant steps. 

“Nothing,” Haechan cut short, standing up to leave and go to his room, giving her his back and passing by his friend. “Maybe I need to make her fantasy come true.” 

The night wasn’t supposed to end this way. When Haechan called Zoya to ask her if she was free and drove to her place, his only intention was to get drunk and rant about his feelings while she listened and then do the same for her. 

So he wasn’t sure how they ended up naked on her bed, knuckles deep inside her while she moaned his name. 

It would’ve been easy to blame it on the alcohol, but the truth is that the cans of beer were mostly left untouched. 

The reason was bigger than that, but none of the two wanted to address the elephant in the room, and it was fine like this. Being tangled in the sheets wasn’t a new thing for them, surely years had passed, and they both went beyond the awkwardness of their first time, but there still was a familiar feeling lingering in the air. 

“Haechan, fuck,” Zoya moaned when his fingers curled, hitting her sensitive spot, and his lips sucked harshly on her clit. Her heart dropped in her chest as butterflies took flight in her stomach when he only grinned, staring straight into her eyes. If she wasn’t drunk on the feeling, she would’ve wondered since when he was this good at this, but it really didn’t matter when her legs were trembling and her lungs were gasping for air. 

“Too much for you?” He teased after pulling away from her with a loud pop sound, but replacing his tongue with his thumb, rubbing quick circles. “I’m not even started, yet.” 

No words left her mouth, the only reply was in her hands moving down to tangle in his hair and push his face back between her legs. Haechan grinned against her skin before resuming his movements. Tongue moving in swift licks and mouth sucking, while his other hand ran up her thigh, keeping her spread.

“Hyuck,” her voice came out like a whisper while her back arched, feeling the orgasm approach, fingers clenching harder in his hair and toes curling. And his name was the last thing she was able to say before her high hit. 

“Feared you weren’t letting me go,” Haechan joked, grinning playfully as he stood up once her fingers left his hair, bringing his fingers to his lips to lick them clean. 

Zoya chuckled, supporting her upper body on her elbows. “You changed a lot,” she said, staring into his eyes, slowly moving back against the bed as he crawled to her. 

“Is this a bad thing?” He asked, grabbing her chin to lift her face before letting his thumb run over her lips. 

“I don’t know,” she whispered, feeling the tension rise up in the air, “I feel like I still have to get to know the new you.” 

Haechan snickered. “Do you want to start getting a taste now?” 

A smile curled her lips as she moved closer to him, lips brushing. “I’m not dumb enough to say no.” 

This was a slippery slope and deep down in their hearts — and brains, too — they both knew it. But tonight it didn’t matter, tonight was just for fun. Nothing of this would’ve existed tomorrow. They could’ve pretended, leaving this as it was — a tangled mess of bodies and skin — and not an overcomplicated, emotional mess of feelings and fears, those were waiting outside at the door, but they would’ve faced them in the morning. 

Haechan was about to open his mouth and say something, but Zoya was quick at shutting him up, one hand over his mouth as she moved her head side to side. 

“Don’t,” she breathed out, glassy eyes looking into his, “Please, don’t say a word. Just fuck me.”

And he didn’t make her repeat herself, nodding quickly before slipping inside of her, watching her mouth part at the stretch as he eased down until he bottomed down. 

“Fuck,” they both muttered at the same time, eyes fluttering shut for a split second before they opened again. 

“Move,” she ordered, “do I have to guide you through this or can you fuck me good?”

Haechan furrowed, grunting under his breath, “I can fuck you good, and better than any other man has ever done. You should know that.”

Zoya scoffed. “I’ve had much better sex after you. You know, you weren’t that great.”

It could’ve easily been a trick to drive him past his limit and start fucking into her, but Haechan didn’t care. He wanted to prove to her he was the best she ever had. 

“Is this how you want it? Hard and rough?” He teased, head tilting to the side as he watched her face let go into pleasure, head slightly rolled back while soft, husky moans slipped from her mouth. “Is this how my replacements gave it to you?”

A crease formed on her forehead as she forced herself to don’t reply. “You moved on, too,” she said, parting her eyes to meet his. “Much faster than me.”

Haechan scoffed. “Were you keeping tabs on me? Couldn’t even let me know if you were alive but were making sure to know my every single move?”

“Just shut up,” she groaned, pulling him closer by his hair, tugging at them harshly, biting his lower lip, making him whimper. 

“What if I don’t want to? What if I want to — mmph — fuck,” he mumbled when she cupped his chin and squeezed tight. 

“You don’t,” she replied sternly, taking advange of his momentary state of surprise to turn the situation around, pushing him on his back on the other side of the bed, quickly fixing her body on top of him. “You shut up and fuck me like I tell you to, okay?” 

“This is not me fucking you, it’s you fucking me.” 

“Good,” she breathed out, “better even, so you don’t act up.” 

“I was just —” his words died in his mouth when she pushed two fingers inside, pressing down on his tongue, making him gag. “Suck,” she ordered. “You’re so good with your mouth when you suck, so keep it busy.”

Haechan wanted to complain but he physically couldn’t, and honestly, after a few seconds, he couldn’t even care. Not when she was riding him so well, filthy sounds of skin slapping against skin filling his brain and getting him drunker on the feeling. He wasn’t used to this, going back to back into stable relationships he rarely felt the heat of irrational sex, and even more hate sex. He could read it in her thrusts, she was mad, angry at him, but didn’t dare to say anything out loud, so she unloaded in another way. And he was mad too, he was so angry, and he didn’t even know why. He didn’t know anything anymore. 

“Fuck, that’s good,” she hissed, throwing her head back, sinking her nails into his chest while the others kept keeping his mouth full. “Just take it and don’t say a word,” she ordered when she pulled her fingers out, messily smearing the spit on his chin. 

And he didn’t complain, he couldn’t, it felt good, and he felt like he needed to be punished a bit, he deserved to be put back in his place. 

And with all those emotions running through their bodies, it didn’t take long for them to come. Panting bodies, needy hands, and breathy, desperate moans, making a mess on the sheets, letting out senseless words and curses, before everything came to an alt. 

Her body collapsed on his, and with the few strength left his arm wrapped around her waist, thumb caressing a patch of skin. 

The night wasn’t supposed to end this way. 

“I think I fucked things up,” Jaemin and Zoya said at the same time as they sat down at a table at the bar where they set the date.  

“You start,” they voiced out together, rolling their eyes at their thing today. 

“I fucked with Haechan,” Zoya confessed, nervously biting her lower lip. 

“You did what?” He gasped, eyes widening in shock while his mouth hung open. 

“What you heard, Jaemin. Please, don’t make me repeat it,” she huffed, rubbing her temple.  

“But why?” Jaemin asked. “I mean, you’re allowed to do what you want, but you were the one telling me he was a prohibited zone?” 

“He was, I mean, he is, I just,” she sighed, running a hand in her hair, and looking outside at the street before bringing her attention to her friend. “I guess we both felt lonely and it’s easier to fall in the arms of a friend than a stranger,” she shrugged. 

Jaemin chuckled bitterly, bitterness filling his heart, but Zoya looked at him with a confused expression, thinking for a moment he was mocking her. “Oh, no, I agree. I kinda did the same thing.” 

“Don’t tell me…” Zoya whispered, and when Jaemin lowered his head, giving her a silent answer, she gasped. “You said you weren’t going to be near her like that!” 

“She did it first!” Jaemin justified. “I tried to push her out of my mind, I swear I tried to erase my feelings because even if he was a shitty boyfriend, I still felt wrong for that, but it happened…” 

Zoya was speechless, looking around as if she could find the words somewhere, before her gaze fell back on him, trying to comfort him with a smile. “Tell me he doesn’t know?” 

“He knows, he punched me,” Jaemin facepalmed. 

“Oh, Lord…” she gasped, quickly covering her mouth with her hands. “At least, are you two together? Because I’m not saying I would feel less guilty, but I would.” 

“She doesn’t care about me,” Jaemin whispered. “Not like I care about her.” 

She frowned. “But you said she started it?” 

“It was just sex, Zoya. She’s never been with anybody but Haechan, she wanted to get laid the other night when we went clubbing, but she sucks at flirting, and I simply was there, right time, right moment.” 

The coldness behind his voice made her sad, watching him try to cope with it and pretend he didn’t care, sucked. “But why would you say yes if you love her?” 

“Because I thought it was better than nothing,” he replied before sighing. “And because I thought I could make some magic tricks with my dick and make her fall for me, what a dumbass.” 

Zoya chuckled before reaching for his hand and caressing it. “But… are you sure she doesn’t even like you a little bit? You two are close.” 

“Did Haechan talk about us?” 

“He did, he ranted saying you go around looking like a couple to rub it in his face, but he didn’t talk about the sex thing,” Zoya explained. 

Jaemin rolled his eyes, of course, he was going around saying they acted like a couple. “We don’t, he’s just jealous. Hyejin might not love me, but she’s happy with me, and she’s also happy with herself in a way she simply wasn’t when she was with him.” 

Zoya sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “He wasn’t like that when we were dating. I had my insecurities and fears, but he rarely fed into them. I’m not saying he was the best boyfriend ever but… he was.” 

“I know right? He’s not a bad person, but you agree that Hyejin is shining now that they’re not together anymore?” 

Zoya exhaled deeply. “Yeah, it’s true.” 

“Anyway, should we order and stop talking about this? It’s kinda making me sad,” Jaemin chuckled, handing her the menu. 

Zoya smiled, nodding. “Sure, before my appetite disappears.” 

Lunch went on fine, talking about more and less, and somehow never going back to the ‘Hyechan’ topic again, but when they were walking around town and the things to say to each other about the week ran out, Jaemin couldn’t help but ask. 

“So, what will you do with Haechan?” 

Zoya stopped abruptly, taking her eyes off from a bag in the window and looking at him. “Nothing, it was just sex and a very dumb idea.” 

“Do you still love him?” 

She gulped, swirling the liquid in her cup to take her time. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ve ever stopped loving him. But I can’t do this to Hyejin… it would be like proving her right, and potentially even putting her against Donghyuck because she’ll think he was in love with me even when they were together.” 

Jaemin hummed. It made sense, it sucked, but it made sense morally. “That’s how you felt when you found out they started dating after you left?” 

Zoya hummed, fighting back the tears. “Yeah… I can’t do this to her.” 

“So we’re fucked?” Jaemin asked. “We might as well give us a try, maybe it was supposed to be like this.” 

Zoya laughed, pushing him away with a light slap on his arm. “I doubt we will work romantically.” 

“No, no, I agree,” he giggled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they started walking again. “I just wish it was easier. I wish it wasn’t like walking on a tightrope with the risk of losing friends…” 

“Haechan doesn’t talk to you anymore?” 

Jaemin hummed. “Just greetings, and when we talk about something else, we bicker.” 

“I can talk to him,” she proposed, genuinely feeling sad it all came down to this.  

“No, I’m in the wrong too because I get aggressive and defensive even when he tries to simply communicate. I’m stressed and scared, and I fuck things up too. And if I was him, I wouldn’t trust me anymore… I should’ve said no to her. It was like stabbing him in the back.” 

“Or maybe we should all be looser and let everything find its place? She’s not going back to him, so she might as well come to you.” 

“You just said you can’t take Haechan back because it would be like betraying her trust?” 

“It’s different, I’m his ex, the reason why she already felt insecure for months, years, if we want to be honest. If I get in the picture, I would tear their friendship apart too, and they don’t deserve it. I have to take a step back, breathe, and remind myself that there are thousands of other people in the world waiting for me, and Haechan is not one of these.” 

Another sigh left his lips as he nodded. “Still, if she doesn’t love me there’s nothing I can do. I’m sure she will find her person, and I’ll be happy for her when it happens.” 

Jeno should’ve thought twice before inviting every person of his groups of friends to this small party he threw. It was nothing wild, something to drink, something to eat, and music playing from the speakers. The place was crowded as there were a lot of +1, but the air was still breathable… for some people at least. 

Haechan wasn’t having a great time as he held in his hand the — by now — empty glass and pierced his gaze on Jaemin and Hyejin that had never stopped dancing together since they arrived. 

It should have been none of his business, he could’ve easily looked away and maybe even flirt with anybody else, but he couldn’t. 

“Can you at least tell me if I’ll ever have you in my life again?” 

When Hyejin walked out on the balcony of a bedroom upstairs, she didn’t expect Haechan to follow her. She thought Jaemin was going to tag along and enjoy the peace of the quiet of the night, but instead, a very heartbroken Haechan was standing in front of her. 

“I didn’t want to follow you,” he said, leaning against the window, “but I need to talk to you. I need answers because I hate everything about this, and it’s driving me crazy.” 

“And what do you want to know? I can’t see into the future, Haechan. I can’t promise you or Jaemin anything…” 

Haechan huffed. “See, you always bring him up. And it’s like you do it on purpose to rub it on my face. I hate seeing you with him, not like this, not so soon.” 

Hyejin scoffed. “Then why didn’t you show me you cared when we were together?”

“But I do! I did care, we could’ve solved this by talking instead of cutting things off.” 

“I didn’t cut you off, I needed time. I will never be able to live my life without you, at least that’s what I think, but I opened my eyes and realized that that wasn’t your place.” 

Haechan felt his heart drop. At this point this wasn’t even about love, it was about everything that had been between them since they were little. They were walking on a tightrope with no safety net, something they’d never done before, and the outcomes looked terrifying. “And it’s his? It’s Jaemin’s?” 

“I don’t know,” she said. “He’s just a friend…” 

He scoffed. “Oh, seriously? You treat friends like you treat him?” 

“He cares for me,” she retorted, brain running faster to come up with an answer. “Maybe that’s why you’re mad and jealous, you are afraid he will treat me better than you even as a friend, you’re terrified he will take me away from you. But tell me, are you mad for losing me as a lover or are you shitting yourself for losing me as a friend? As your best friend, as the one that has always been by your side. The one that cleaned your wounds, the one that walked with you every step of your life. Because I shit myself too when I think that maybe we will never have that back when I think that I lost you and there’s nothing I can do to have you back,” her voice came out higher than she wanted to as she tried to fight against her tears and don’t sob like a child, but the alcohol and the conversation weren’t helping.  

Haechan took a step closer. “I don’t know. I wish I knew but I don’t know. I… I miss you and I don’t know what I miss of you. But I hate that you lie to me. You let him kiss you just two seconds ago, I saw you, and I… I never felt more jealous than this in my life. I want to be the one kissing you, I want to hold you, I want to…” he sighed, looking down at the floor. “I want you.” 

Hyejin sniffled, shaking her head. “Do you really? Or is it just because we are the only ones we’ve ever known, and we’re terrified of navigating life in a different way? I… I’m so confused and every time I think I’ve taken a step forward, I see you and it takes me back to the start.” 

“Then let’s give it another chance…” he said, holding her hand. 

“I can’t… Jaemin…” 

“So you see you like him?”

“I don’t know if I do. I don’t want to use him, but I don’t know what I’m feeling. I know I feel good with him, and I know he gets me so much, Hyuck, you don’t understand how easily and quickly Jaemin understands me, you have no idea how he makes me feel. But I’m terrified, I’m afraid I’m rushing everything, and I don’t want to lose him too.” 

“I can make you feel good, too. I used to understand you so easily, what happened?” 

“I don’t know what happened, but something happened and here we are…” she said, looking into his eyes. They were standing so close to each other now, and she felt her heart skip a beat. But this didn’t feel like it used to feel. Staring into his eyes, she could only see blurred lines and holes. Surely there was tension, but she knew it was driven by dumbness. 

“Please, just another chance.” 

She felt the need to lean forward, to kiss him, to feel his lips again, but she couldn’t. “I can’t.” 

“Why? Are you two dating? Or is he the only one having feelings for you?” 

“It’s because I know you don’t love me and it’s just jealousy.” 

“You always know everything, don’t you?” 

Hyejin lowered her head, hugging herself as she felt her heart slump into a void. No, she didn’t know a thing. She needed to let go, but holding onto Haechan was so tempting when he was her safety net her whole life. And right now, he was right there, begging for another chance, just like she wanted before she took her decision of breaking up. 

“It’s always on me,” Haechan said, walking closer to her, pushing her close to the wall, “it’s me loving somebody else, it’s me not caring for you enough, what about you? What about your feelings for him?”

“I broke my back to be with you, I started doing so many things for you, I… I even tried to look past all of our differences to make it work and you only… you didn’t even meet me halfway.” 

“Tell me you love him,” he urged. “Tell me you love him as much as you love me, now. Tell me pushing me out of your life has made you feel better!” He said, crying. 

“I don’t love him, I don’t even want to think about him,” she screamed before impulses took over and she kissed him. Haechan immediately kissed her back, hands cupping her face as he pushed her against the hard frame of the window, bodies pressing against each other. 

A stupid urge that was going to stain that picture with more blood, especially when their hands moved to undo the buttons on their pants, touching each other in a way they haven’t done in months, feeling adrenaline and pain rush in their blood. 

“I can still give you so much,” Haechan whispered while his fingers moved in circles on her clit, still covered by the panties. “Don’t leave me, Hyejin. I need you so fucking much.” 

“I — I need you too, but I — I don’t,” she sighed, head rolling against the hard surface because of his fingers. “I don’t know how I need you.” 

“Don’t think, don’t worry, we’ll solve this. We can do that, we’ve been through so much together.” 

Hyejin nodded, feeling tears roll down her cheeks. Not this time, a solution wasn’t going to arrive for this. Always, but not this time, not so soon, not now, and not like this. 

“Please, let me make you feel good,” he whispered, kissing her cheek, waiting for her answer, a nod was all he got and a small smile. 

But his slender fingers knuckles deep inside of her didn’t feel as good as they used to. The physical pleasure wasn’t enough to suppress the emotional pain they were feeling. The uncertainty, the mess, and the future. Her hands quickly moved up and down his hard dick, trying to focus on him too, trying to feel him more, to make this look like it was, but nothing was like before, it was all different, and they both knew all of this had no meaning, no depth, no feelings if not regrets and fears. 

When the glass shattering echoed in the room, they both brought their teary eyes to the source of the sound. Jaemin was standing there. 

His eyes immediately locked with Hyejin’s as he tried to hold back his tears, wanting to leave the room as soon as possible but somehow feeling stuck. 

They all felt the same way, almost as if every single one of them was in the wrong and had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. 

Yet, the first one to break this tension was him. 

“I’m sorry, I thought you were alone,” he quickly voiced out before stepping out of the room and closing the door. 

“I — I…” 

“You have to run after him,” Haechan finished for her, moving away from her, looking at the floor, quickly buckling his pants again and cleaning his fingers on them. 

“Aren’t you mad?” 

“Am I happy? No. But mad? For what?” he whispered. “I’m just terrified because I don’t have answers, but I’m pretty sure you have them, so go and finish this.” 

“But we kissed, and your fingers were into me two seconds ago.” 

“And?” 

“And…” she said, lightly shaking her head to urge him to make two plus two and come to a conclusion.  

“It wasn’t like before. It was full of fears and thousands of things we never had the courage to face. Not you, not me,” he sighed, sniffling. “I’m sorry.” 

Hyejin raised her eyes, feeling tears drip down. “I don’t want to lose you.” 

“I don’t want to lose you either but maybe we really need more time off. I don’t think I’ll truly get over you if I keep seeing your face, if I keep seeing you with him.” 

“But what if I’m using him? What if… what if what I’m feeling it’s just momentary? He doesn’t deserve this.” 

“He loves you enough to pay the price for giving it a try. He would’ve left you behind months ago if he didn’t truly care for you. And I hate this so much but… yeah, you’re right, knowing that you’re with him drives me so mad because I know he will love you more than I ever did, and I’ve always been your only one your entire life. I’m not used to being on the sidelines of your life, and I act like a child when it happens.” 

Hyejin sobbed, shaking her head. “But I don’t want to push you on the sidelines.” 

“But you’ve only had eyes for me your entire life, and I’ve drugged myself into that feeling, and now that your eyes are not for me only, I feel lost, scared, and worthless. And it’s selfish, and you’ve already been enough selfless for me, I can’t ask you to be selfless even this time. Go to him, go to him before this thing can get messier.” 

“What if… what if I’m not ready? What if it’s not about him but me?” 

“He still deserves an explanation. I don’t care, blame it on me, Hye, say anything, but don’t hurt him. You were all over him all night, and me and my stupid games lead you here.” 

“Our stupid games,” she whispered. “I still don’t know what to tell him.” 

“Anything. Just don’t hurt him.” 

“Hey,” her voice resonated weakly in the night air as she rested her arms on the terrace, standing next to Jaemin. 

He was quick at wiping his nose and cheeks quickly before coughing and turning to her, nodding his head in a small greeting. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, gaze fixed on him even if he was staring at the road in front of them. 

“For what?” 

“You know for what,” she said. 

“No, I don’t,” he replied. 

She sighed. “That I kissed him.” 

Jaemin shrugged, peeling the crusty paint on the rail. “My fault for not knocking, I hope I didn’t ruin the mood.” 

She sighed. “You… you don’t care?” 

“Why would I?” 

“Because… I don’t know, I thought that we…” 

“We just fucked once, and made out before, it’s meaningless,” he said, a bitter smile on his lips. “I understand, really. It’s not easy to move on from what you had.” 

“You think I still love him?” 

“I don’t care,” he said, taking a step back. 

“You don’t? I thought — I thought you did…” 

“You’re a grown-up, you don’t need me to make a choice. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever been one of the options to pick so, I don’t care.” 

“But you said — you said all those things, about me and him,” she said. 

“Weren’t they true?” 

“Yes, that’s why I broke up with him. Now you’re fine with me going back?” 

“I don’t care,” he repeated sternly, but it felt like he was trying to convince himself. “It’s up to you to decide if it’s a smart choice or not. Who knows, maybe he’ll learn this time.” 

She sniffled, looking down. “So… we were just… just sex and… and kisses?” 

“Kisses,” he snickered. 

“What? Don’t act as if we didn’t kiss more than friends would.” 

“Friends don’t kiss, Hyejin. They simply don’t.” 

“But we did… not only now, we… when we’re cooking together, when you drop me off work, when you…” 

“And you kissed him, well, you were all over him, I wouldn’t even call it a kiss,” he pointed out. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Jaemin shook his head. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Not my first time being a rebound.” 

“You’re not a rebound.” 

“Well, whatever I am, it’s clear you don’t love me, so let’s just stop with this. it’s clearly just attraction,” he said. “No more kisses from now on.” 

Hyejin shook her head. “No, not from now,” she said, reaching him. “From tomorrow.” 

But Jaemin pushed her away. 

“You can’t force something that’s not meant to be.” 

“How do you know?” 

“What?” 

“That it’s not meant to be, how do you always know everything? Why do you have to be wiser than me? Why can’t you be stupid and do stupid things like kissing me, over and over, until I have no more air in my lungs? Why… why can’t you fight for me?” She asked, feeling her throat close while her eyes got foggy again. 

“You want me to fight?” 

“I want you to want me.” 

“I want you,” Jaemin said, feeling his heart break for his following words, “I don’t love you, that’s the difference.” 

And as Jaemin left her outside alone, the truth started to sink in while she stared at the ghost he left behind. She had lost both loves of her life in one night. 

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[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt.37)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: A collection of moments, snippets in sequence, each that brings you closer. (Or alternatively: you and Jungkook figure out the pack hierarchy, Namjoon finds an alternative means of you submitting other than sex, and Hobi starts to fall in love with you, just a little.)

Pairings: Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin, Beta! Yoongi,

Tags: Dom! Namjoon, sub! m/c, scruffing, negotiations, contracts, biting, handfeeding, talks of anorexia, themes of recovery, recovery through Bdsm rules, hurt/comfort, talks of trans characters + dysphoria, flashbacks, Talks of drugs, consensual drugging, Violence, Blood, implied dollification, a little bit of nonconsensual touching,

W/c: 12.0k

A/n: this part was greatly inspired by Hobipaloza and how adorable and scruffy hobi looked during it. this is probably one of 10 favorite chapters i’ve written- i think it touches on some very important themes of the series. that being said HYEJIN’S PART has the potential to be VERY TRIGGERING so be warned. The line “life is short but also unbearably long” is a paraphrased Jenna marbles quote.

Previous Chapter - Masterlist

~-~

(Title Track: Jungkook)

By the time that you wake from the scene, the pack has come back from the ocean all salt sweet and freckly regardless of Jin’s protests for his poor pups’ cheeks. But the teasing and hassling is all in good fun, their bodies are sun-kissed and relaxed by the cool water, almost languid from sticky sea salt as they drag each other by the pair into a shower. Jin hates the feeling of ocean salt in the nest. 

You woke from the scene feeling all clean and washed down too. Grooming- they tell you. Jin fell into a little bit of a frenzy after you fell asleep. The idea that the pack omega rubbed you down so thoroughly and in such an intimate place, but did it gentle enough that you didn't wake makes you hot all over. It makes Jin's hand burn where is presses against the small of your back, herding you towards the kitchen for some snacks when you’re still half asleep. 

The other pups are likewise sleepy, and clingy when it comes to your reappearance. “Ah I wish you would have come with us today we had so much fun” they prattle on about what they did, the funniest moment of the day when Jimin got almost knocked over by a wave how Hobi practically walked for so long that they thought he might have gotten lost. each of them dragging you in for a sniff and a surprised happy noise. You know you smell good without them having to say it- that you smell claimed by the pack alpha and omega. 

Theirs’s truly- for the first time maybe.

Being a packmate is one thing, but smelling like one sate something primal. You're a little down still, a little more prone to be moved by Jungkook and the others without protest, Jin’s not sure if you notice that you're still feeling the effects of subspace but he's watchful where he stands next to Yoongi, chopping up vegetables for a salad.

Namjoon drags Jimin and Tae into the nest room soon after you vacate it with a hand on the back of both of their necks, tugged them to their knees almost immediately once the door closed. They’re startled- but prepared once Namjoon strides forward, lacing a hand over his barely constricted hardness. Fingers itching towards the button. “Would you like to tell me what you did with the pup last night? Or should I show you what she told me you did?”  

The barely leashed anger tangling with arousal emanating from under the door is quick to sweeten. And although both of the pups had been nursing sore bottoms when they’d reappeared, further exacerbated by sunburn on Jimin’s part- the punishment and reminder of the pack alphas will have slowly faded from importance. 

Namjoon let them off easy, maybe he’s still feeling the effects of your slick and slick intoxication. He hasn’t realized that you’ve tamed him that way yet and It will be a while until he makes the connection to his own behavior- that your slick makes him more docile.

They must have stopped at the grocery store on the way home because a variety of treats are piled on the kitchen island, small cupcakes and cinnamon sugar speckled donuts. Chocolate-covered strawberries and keto treats from the special (and kind of expensive) bakery that Jimin likes because it carries things that Jungkook can actually eat. 

Some of them ate and some of them didn’t but regardless a plate waits for you later, the same way you’ve eaten and not the new way that Jin is only just starting to turn over in his head while you play with the rest of your packmates. Handfuls of sand dollars and sea glass are shown, and you ooh and ahh over Jungkook and Tea’s found treasures. Even shaggy-haired Hobi is prompted to show you the find of the day; a small Shark tooth- tinier than the tip of his pinky but undeniably a little baby tooth. 

"Hobi's got good eyes," Tae comments, and Hobi blushes, hiding his face in the overgrown shag of his hair, curling at the edges a little mullety. 

Jungkook’s hair sits long and salt curly over his forehead too; he enjoys a few scoops of the only ice-cream brand he can eat sitting at the table still in his swimsuit like Taehyung. Although her button-down shirt is just one button awry, the skin of her hip inviting in its tan lines that sit just over her hip bones. (It makes you wonder what she’d look like with the delicate crisscrossing strands of a bikini there. Memories of where the sun has kissed and what edges it hasn’t; delightful evidence of moments spent lying in ease).

She looks at the hickeys on you in much the same hungry way as you when you shuffle between her legs. You look so well fucked that it has them a little delirious. The bruises from Namjoon’s fingers that line your inner thighs are only too visible and tantalizing in your small shorts. Tae knows there is only one way you get those, in fact, she’s pretty sure she’s got some fading marks that are similar.

You smell like Namjoon and Jin and Yoongi, so much so that it’s a little too intoxicating to their sun-fried minds. It makes them touch you longer, makes Tae pull you in between her thighs when you try to wobble away, grabbing at your prone body to keep you still. But no one mentions or comments to it while you share spoonful of strawberry ice cream back and forth to cool off before dinner. 

Jin doesn’t even complain that you’re all spoiling your appetites. eyes fixed on tae feeding you sweet spoonfuls.

“Are you sure that you don’t want help?” you ask, leaning up against the island still in between Tae’s legs, watching Yoongi do the dishes. Your mate doesn’t seem to mind, up to his elbows in soap and drowning in joy. Tae can see the smile on his cheeks even when he turns away, his face round with it from the side. Jin has pulled his cutting board as close to Yoongi as possible without directly being in his way even though there is more than enough available counter space in the kitchen. 

Every few seconds Jin pauses to stroke down his arms in comfort, holds his hip, or otherwise touches your mate. Reassuring him back from the last of the drop and Yoongi would never refuse the contact. He feels good, hands in the soapy water, as he gets to listen to everyone in love. 

You reach for one of the sweets and Yoongi feels impossibly fond and happy. But your monsters are never banished for long because although you have the sweet in your hands- you still grab the box, turning it over to look at the label on the back.  

He’s not the only one who sees- and tries to keep the moment from turning heavy before it can. Almost quicker than you turned the box over Jungkook snatches it off of the table, holding it up and out of reach using his height to his advantage as you protest and try to swipe at it. With both his hands above his head he’s easily got two feet over you, you hop, trying to rip it out of his hands, "Come on- I only want to check."

Jungkook's grinning down at you even if this isn't something to smile about, "Nope, not happening. I know what you're gonna do, and I know it's gonna make you feel guilty and these are guilt-free calories. They’re aftercare treats." You huff, frustrated, reaching up to try and get it from him and hopping up on the chair and moving to reach for it when that doesn’t work. Tae presses her knuckles to her mouth to keep from laughing.

Your whole body gets pressed against Jungkook’s as crane your neck, warm and sweet honey salt smelling. "Koo give it-"

"No." Jungkook can be as stubborn as a stick in the mud when he knows that he’s right. You’re face to face with him still reaching and trying to grab it, close enough that he can feel your breath when you speak, he follows his instincts- too warn down from the sun to think clearly. 

He turns, biting at the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. Not too hard, but enough for you to feel it and squeak in surprise, for there to be little square imprints of his teeth when he pops off.

"Jungkook!" Yoongi scolds, ignoring the zing down his mating mark at having your neck be bitten. You step back, startled, your cheeks pink. The dull throb of the bite quiets your protests instantly. Two perfect half circles on your shoulder in the shape of Jungkook’s mouth that you clamp a hand over in surprise.

Jungkook licks his teeth and hums.

You go from plucky puffed-up kitten to sleepy and soft in just about two seconds, teetering, almost falling off the chair where it not for Jungkook’s arms around you, the box dropping back onto the counter as he guides you back to the floor before you can fall.

 "You bit me." You sound crushed, the epitome of offended as you pull away. Hand still clamped over your shoulder to soothe the smarting skin. "Why’d you do that?" 

Jungkook rubs his chin stubbornly over your other shoulder, "Cuz you weren’t listening." 

You don’t reach to check the container now that it’s within reach, instead blinking back a sudden haze. Huh, that’s strange, Namjoon can't help but lean back, watching the two of you without interfering just yet.

In terms of hierarchy in the pack, Jungkook has always been at the very bottom. He’s never disliked it or confessed that he wanted to be higher- no, Jungkook has always been comfortable being their littlest pup. 

Until now. 

"If it will make you happy, I’ll eat it." He nods, and the others hake their head, perplexed that the fight dissipated as quickly as it came. You’re being so obedient and to the lowest ranking member of the pack too- all of this is so strange. Jungkook doesn’t (didn’t) have a dominant bone in his body but that's about the clearest show of dominance that Namjoon's ever seen- and he's pack alpha for fuck's sake. 

Jungkook’s grinning triumphantly as he sets his hand on your shoulder. Namjoon sniffs the air, checking for any discomfort, anything unhappy coming from either of you but there’s nothing.

Namjoon sips at his hot coco and Jin stops his chopping, gesturing with his knife, "You know you can't just bite people when they don't agree with you.”

“You also shouldn’t gesture with knives.” Namjoon quips, Jin huffs but puts it down. The last thing the pack needs is any unintentional stab wounds. 

"Why not? You guys bite me when I don’t agree with you all the time?" Jungkook pouts, you match his and Jimin comes close, gesturing at you to pull your hand away. The marks from Jungkook’s teeth are pink and sensitive as the alpha skims his fingers over them, giggling. 

You blink, still trying to make your brain operate through the haze of aftercare and now a bite. Jimin touching you so possessively, standing back between Tae's thighs once she grumbles, complaining that Jungkook ‘stole you’ while jk still has his arms wound around you, pulling you to his chest- it's dizzying. 

You tilt your head and bare your neck without thinking.

It earns you a fresh wave of crooning, "oh pup." Tae huffs, settling her palm on your hip, and you start to slick up stubbornly- your body deciding it still hasn’t had enough (that it won’t be enough, not until you smell like all of them the way that you smell like Namjoon and Jin and yoongi right now)

You sniffle- and it's Hobi who comes to your defense surprisingly pulling at Jungkook’s elbow, “guys come on- you're practically mauling her.”

You turn up your eyes at him, thankful and willing but still new. Hobi has always been above Jungkook in the hierarchy and now…he guesses he’s above you too. 

"You still got that train ticket?" 

Hobi almost chokes on his chocolate-covered strawberry. Hobi’s laugh is as bright as waves crashing against rocks, sea spray tossed high into the air in exultation. 

Hobi puts his head between his knees and laughs, leans back with chocolate on the corner of his mouth and shakes his head. The two of you leave the perplexed and, in some cases, concerned glances to your packmates. The internal question of what inside joke you just touched on never mind that you and Hobi are the two last people in the universe that they would ever expect to have an inside joke.

Namjoon slings his arms around Jungkook’s shoulder and teething at his ear, making the omega jump, "does 'I bit it so it's mine' apply to people too?"

"Yes," Jungkook answers petulantly, happy as you actually nibble at the food in front of you.  In all honestly, the bite has the desired effect, and you sit down and eat the sweets and a chocolate-covered strawberry that Hobi hands you once he catches you watching his. Pliant and not nearly as resistant as before.

Jin huffs, snapping his knife through the garlic on his cutting board, mincing it efficiently, "If you dare try that with me tonight, you're going to find out that I also have teeth and they're sharper than yours kookie."

Being a the bottom of the pack hierarchy isn't always a bad thing, the pups that need the most care are ready to receive it and stay there. The bottom spot is for those that can't necessarily fulfill their needs themselves and are ready to exchange them being fulfilled for obedience (and maybe a good nibble here or there). 

Just like that the pack hierarchy is settled; Jungkook at the very bottom, and you just below.

~-~

(Interlude: Namjoon) 

It takes a few days for Jin and Namjoon to construct the perfect new rule for you regarding the food, but It’s not the only new rule you gather in that timeframe; 

You have a whole new little list of them that’s stuck to the fridge, stickers, and bunny doodles on the corners from Jungkook. It's a little bit too of a public place in your opinion but the whole pack had assured you that it was okay to have it put there- the same way a little kid might have a drawing or a report card stuck there by a proud parent. 

Under the heading “cupcakes’s rules” sit a dozen or so points on a bulleted list, None of the rules are truly embarrassing, private maybe. But they're your pack, they deserve to know every private thing about you. None of them are rules that you’re at all unwilling to obey, (but that was kind of the point of negotiating them after all). Not a single rule asks for too much or gives Namjoon and Jin too much control over you. 

You have to want this too, and Jin and Namjoon had been incredibly clear that this didn’t have to be a 24/7 thing. Like with the other packmates- it was likely that you’d strike some sort of balance that worked for you. Tae for example- rarely ever gets punished or has rules lorded over her head, your mate too- seems to barely feel their will when compared to Jungkook, you, or even Jimin.

Your rule list as Namjoon and Jin’s submissive goes as follows:

1. Good pups must always use their safewords, even during situations that are not explicitly sexual, safewords are always allowed to be used (even during meal times)

2. Good pups treat themselves and others with respect (no negative self-talk). 

3. Good pups tell their doms when they are having a rough day and need some extra babying.

And the fourth rule, the one that you are most nervous about- the one that you are always worried about: 

4. Good pups eat 3 square meals a day, the organization and implementation of which will be at their alphas and their doms discretion.

It’s not all that dissimilar from the rule you'd had before even if Jin and Namjoon had been sure to outline to you what would change in practice. The stinky note system could only last for so long before you had to find something that worked better. 

You negotiated the list not only with Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi, but with Jungkook and Jimin too. Although those two had asked to sit in just to watch and maybe add their two cents in. The document (it feels weird to refer to an 8 by 12 piece of computer paper written with Jin’s neat scrawl as a document) only explicitly specifies Namjoon and Jin as your Dom’s. 

But the scrawled list of limits on the back was at least good for them to know. 

Jin’s no hissing at me I don’t know why it makes me Dom drop sometimes but it does is hardly an obtrusive limit as is Namjoon’s no tickling, if you tickle me during sex even accidentally, I will probably flail and hurt you, no blood, if I see you start bleeding I will safeword, no extreme breathplay.

 It had taken you the longest to decide on your limits, Yoongi had helped write the list the most. They’d told you that it could be a work in progress too, there is more than enough space on the sheet to add more rules. I don’t like to be face down a lot, no spitting on me, no hair pulling cuz Yoonie (<3)

It was complete with Jin’s delicate signature below your list of limits, Namjoon’s messy doctor's tangle, and your inelegant one- unused to having to sign anything. 

Out of practice. 

There are other rules and space for more at the bottom on the front of the sheet as well. Rules that make you shift and slick up a little when you think about them too hard. They haven’t been much in practice yet (it’s only been a few days) but there are still ones like 7. Good pups must tell Jinnie every time they have an orgasm and what made them cum, because it’s his responsibility to make sure his pup is properly satisfied.

6. Pup must verbally agree to a scruffing before getting one unless a scruff has been explicitly negotiated prior to a scene or the scruff is necessary to prevent the pup from either hurting another packmate or the situation requires them calming down. (That rule is a little nebulous, Namjoon and Jin and Yoongi spend long minutes debating the wording. You where entirely unworried that namjoon and jin would ever abuse the power- but Yoongi wasn’t. )

And “10. Good pups must not let their pussy be cum marked without the pack alpha’s explicit permission.” That had earned you a flushing face from Jimin and a wry comment from Jungkook that had turned the pack alpha all shy. 

“I promise it’s not like a possessive thing-“ Jin had eyed Namjoon knowingly, “okay- it's definitely a possessive thing but-“

“You don’t need to justify it alpha; we get it.” Jungkook’s legs had been swinging below the dinner table. He'd been on and off hooking his pinky with yours for emotional support the whole negotiation. He'd even dragged his own list out for you to see when you'd asked to see it. The warn paper thin at the seams and folded in his collars case. It helps to see that Jungkook has similar rules to yours even if they’d been written 3 years prior. 

4. I must not eat anything that could trigger seizures, and I must not do dangerous activities alone or without contacting alpha and Jinnie before and after.

There are also crossed out rules, ones that don’t apply to him anymore. “I must ask Jinnie for permission every time I take alpha’s knot” and “if Jinnie sets out clothes for me in the morning I must wear them until he tells me to take them off” and their brief forays into daily orgasm control and clothing control Jungkook tells you, before they’d realized that these where things that they liked only occasionally and not semi-consistently. 

Your ears perk up at them. but you leave them for another day. 

But Jimin and Namjoon seem particularly stuck on the cum marking thing, Jimin sits- still blushing and begging you to understand, he probably thinks that you got punished for that too even though you weren’t. His scent shifts from cute vanilla to guilty stale gunpowder. 

“-To be fair, I didn’t realize that Namjoon would be upset- “

Namjoon’s eyes had been sharp, “it’s alright pup, you’ve already been punished for it.” And that had been that.  

It’s several days before you really notice any change in how they act around you. (Beyond one morning that Yoongi makes you sit in Jin’s lap and confess every dirty thing you’d done with your mate the night before. Whispered into his ear over breakfast while the pack omega hummed and sipped at his coffee. Jin thinks it was a lovely way to wake up you in his lap smelling all sweet and getting all blushy before 9am).

But when you come into the kitchen for dinner one evening, the world has shifted. 

The most noticeable difference is the absence of any sticky note with the calculated calories sitting next to your usual seat, namjoon reads something on his phone where where you usually sit too, although he lifts his head and smiles at you when you answer Jin’s call of “pup’s! dinner!” shouted through the halls. 

Calorie counting is an old enemy that you’d hope to become your friend eventually But to Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi- it's clear that that wasn't working, rather reinforcing a bad habit. 

Now there isn’t a single plate filled with food already at the table or one with a sticky note that shows where you will sit, and the longer you look at the table, the more you realize that something’s a little more wrong. 

While you have become used to sitting in Namjoon’s lap (or one of the other’s during dinner time) your seat usually just remains vacant. But this time someone has removed your chair completely, there are only seven at the table tonight. 

Your first instinct is to look to the ground, but there is no pillow or place for you to sit, where you might lean your chin on Namjoon or Jin’s thigh and pliantly take every bite pressed to your lips (you’d negotiated floor sitting as something that you were cautiously interested in).

When you find nothing, something in your chest begins to sting. You spiral momentarily- Seven seats, seven placemats, and seven sets of silver wear, and not a single one for you. But you’re not left to stew in your sudden insecurity for long as Jin turns from where he cooks, brandishing a wooden spoon. 

“Jin what’s-“ you start, but the pack omega cuts you off.

“Color sweetheart?” the meaning is as clear as day- what he asks without asking. Are you okay just going along with what we do right now? Or do you want me to stop and explain? 

Green or yellow?  

Not tonight Jinnie, Red is always an option. After all, it's the first rule on your list for a reason.

“G-green” you stutter, before you can ask any more questions Namjoon turns, guessing at your perplexed look, extinguished when the pack alpha pats his lap. You fall into Namjoon’s chest gladly wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Your thighs folded to the side as usual but the pack alpha isn’t having it. 

His hands on your thighs are firm, not rough, but you feel every inch of where they press. “Sit properly pet.” He moves you, manhandling you, and Namjoon presses you into the table, your stomach digging for a second as you shift.

You feel incredibly small sitting like this, your ass pressed firmly against his Namjoon guides your legs to rest onto either side of his powerful thighs restraining your wiggle-prone limbs. 

Your size difference is deliciously apparent when you sit like this. Even sat in his lap Namjoon is still tall enough that his chin can rest on your head if you slouch down a little. 

Jin’s intimidating as ever in his fluffy apron. The stiff linen is ruffled ever so slightly at the edge but it does nothing to distract from Jin’s glower as he ladles curry onto rice, and tops it off with a little bit of chopped coriander too. The meal smells thick and spicy, with a hint of lime too.

The smell of red sauce and sesame oil fill the house and beckon your other packmates to the table, no one comments on your predicament when they enter although Tae hovers, gliding her fingers across your shoulder as she sits next to you- they must have warned them- someone must have sent a text to the group chat about the scene. 

(You don’t realize how usual that is, how once upon a time it had been normal for Namjoon to check his phone after surgery and find waiting texts of jk wants to go free use today! So if you don’t Wanna see him kneeling by the nest with his mouth open for a knot, let me know now and I’ll tell him to wait until the weekend for a scene Or Our pretty puppy wants to make an appearance this afternoon, is everyone okay with Hobi in puppy space? We’re thinking he won’t be nude just like- boxersnude for comfort.)

Jin has put what can only be described as a monumental portion onto Namjoon’s plate and while the pack alpha usually eats very well- even you have to admit that it’s a little overkill. There is no way that Namjoon can possibly finish the massive portion on his own.  

Oh

Namjoon’s chin hooks over your shoulder, voice raspy deep, and pure command. “If our pup can’t feed herself right that only means we need to take a more direct role in feeding you. Our poor little thing, so tied up in her thoughts that she needs us to do everything for her.” 

You would be embarrassed by the words if he didn’t sound so fond. So endeared that you are so dependent. You melt at the humiliation of it, trying to hide your blush but failing. Jungkook shoots you a knowing wink while Jimin settles in across from you, already shifting like he’s going to have a hard time staying in his seat with such a tantalizing treat in front of him. 

You feel like you want to shrink into a thimble-sized version of yourself ready to curl up in someone's pocket, or sink through the floor and hide. Your anxiety mounts as you look at the plate. There is so much, even if it is for you and the pack alpha to share.

It’s not Namjoon’s hand that settles on your chin, but Jin’s still holding the pot with an oven mitt on the other. “We know how much it is, and we won’t let you eat too little or too much this time pup. From now on, how much you are eating is for us to know. Now, can you tell me your color?” 

They are taking a chance with this, this scene. It hadn’t been explicitly negotiated even if your list has been. This little show of their dominance over you is comparatively small and doesn’t have much- if any risk of hurting you in it.  

You look up at Jinnie for a moment, turning it over in your head, or trying to- Namjoon’s hand's petting over your stomach is a noticeable distraction. You murmur a quiet “green”

Feeding his omegas by hand does something to settle the primal provider instinct in Namjoon’s chest that he can never quite paw at otherwise. Your other packmates don’t look surprised at Namjoon and Jin’s casual dominance of you over the dinner table- conversation flows as easy as it does normally. Although they do a good job of leaving you to your own devices. 

Yoongi’s shoulders have never been more relaxed or at ease as he jokes with Hobi. His hand brushes your thigh at times when you squirm, but Namjoon is always quick to settle you when you get too twitchy, subtle pinches to your inner thigh have you stilling. 

The first bite, and then another, is easy. 

Namjoon lifts the full fork to your mouth and you open obediently. He holds your jaw while you chew, fingers tapping against your collarbones. You spiral as you swallow- another bite already proffered to your lips. 

“There's a good pup, isn’t that better? Eating so sweetly for alpha.” You melt further at the praise. Your mate turns his eyes hot on you as you eat a bite and it's utterly overwhelming.

Jin folds his hands in Infront of his face, leaning on his hands and watching the two of you like it’s a soap opera, commenting sweet praises every few minutes “What a good pup for Joonie.”

Even Hobi doesn’t seem flustered or disgusted by such an obvious act of dominance. You don’t know why you keep checking, keep glancing at him like you expect him to get up and take his plate and go somewhere else in the house. 

You aren’t yet aware of how Hobi prefers to take his meal times when he’s feeling submissive and has the mental energy to go through a negotiation scene; With a puppy bowl on the floor, a collar, and a pair of ears on his head. 

Playing like that will have to wait a little longer still. There has been an itch building in him too- and seeing you act submissively with Namjin only makes him want it too. 

And the ruling pair of your pack miss their little puppy.

You send the alpha an anxious glance, and he raises his eyebrows at you from across the table like he’s surprised. He’s the only one whose willing to directly adress your predicament (none of them would ever dream of teasing you right now, worried about making you too shy). 

“What? It’s not like you’re fucking at the table?” he earns a swat to his thigh for that one. Your packmates are riled at the sight of this, a scene, a small one, and a punishment displayed so casually.

Jungkook’s already fidgeting, nearly needy for something similar. Hobi has a tad bit better control over himself but even he has to admit that such a casual show of dominance has him nearly humming.

The truth is, it’s been too long since a group scene, since a good pack fuck. almost a month and a half now since Tae’s rut and they all piled into the nest room for a few days with the sole purpose of pleasing and satisfying a pack-mates needs. 

When they were at their last apartment and before you, group fucking or even group discipline scenes like this had been so common. And though they’d been resigned to the fact that they were to be more private when you came into your lives now, now that you’re ready- it brings the possibility of all that coming back. 

Your anxiety builds and builds with each bite, although Namjoon gives you a second between each where he eats too (just to give you a second to cool down before the fork is prodding at your lips again) You start to back up with the next bite, head bumping into his shoulder a whine building in your throat. 

Instead of forcing it, Namjoon put the fork down and sets a hand on the back of your neck.  

“Do you need me to scruff you to get through the scene omega?” Namjoon’s voice is authoritative, and he leaves no space for you to avoid the question. 

You barely keep back a whimper, “Can you do it like, just a little, please alpha?” you tack on for good measure. 

Namjoon just barely brings his fingers together, but the effect is instant. You go numb all the way to your toes, nearly sliding out of his lap and slamming into the table were it not for his quick thinking, his arm around your waist vicelike. You let out the smallest- most pupish whine, almost mewling as he releases you and the endorphins rush at your head- thicker and intoxicating than any drug. 

The curry drops out of Tae’s spoon onto the table, but the other alpha is quick to recover. Jimin even teases her for being distracted. Warmth bubbles and gurgles in your stomach, your toes curl and you’re so comfortable. 

It’s only natural for you to get just a little turned on from a scruff. With Namjoon’s nose pressed to your nape, it’s hard for the pack alpha not to notice but as it is he focuses on keeping your limp body in his lap. if you leave a little wet patch of slick on his lap- that’s only something to be handled later with your reward for being so good. 

Namjoon’s mouth waters at the idea of getting on his knees for you again. 

But this is not about sex- not this time, although in another world a knot might do more to settle you than just a simple scruffing- that’s not an option for you yet for obvious reasons.

Your brain goes from frying in anxiety to bunny softness within a few seconds. Fuck, you’re going to have a hard time not asking for that every day. 

“Sorry- sorry I just-“ you let out a whine when words won’t suffice. Being scruffed by Namjoon even a little- feels absolutely liberating. Your mind is a mess of alpha- alphas so nice he feels so nice and strong under you, his arms so safe as they wrap around you. He's smiling- and you'd like him to be smiling for longer- want it badly enough that when he proffers yet you another bite you open your mouth eagerly. Eyes wide and searching for- 

“Good pup”

You start to purr almost instantly. Namjoon wonders what a real scruff would be like if just pinching on the back of your neck just a little had such a visceral effect on you. What it would feel like to get his teeth there, to sink them in and tug. 

He can’t wait to try it. 

Your eyes flutter closed, Namjoon’s thumb and forefinger dig into your cheeks, and you open your mouth obediently. If alpha's not anxious about the food, then you don't need to be. You don't need to do anything but sit and look pretty doing it. Your eyes roll when you taste Jin’s cooking and unbeknownst to you, Yoongi leans his chin on Jin’s shoulder, nuzzling into him in thanks exhaling a heavy breath. 

You let him feed you once, twice, and then a third time before you shake your head, “alpha should eat too.” You’re clumsy with it when you lift the fork to Namjoon’s mouth, almost spilling half of it. But Namjoon takes your bite and you squeak. The conversation starts back up around the table but your eyes flutter closed, curled up in Namjoon’s lap feeling small and safe. Opening your lips when the fork nudges at your lips it but otherwise floating happily with his hands on you- your tether, keeping you from fluttering too far away. 

Namjoon gives you a few seconds between every bite but- but the next time you open your eyes and look down, the plate is nearly empty. And you know Namjoon hasn’t taken nearly as many bites as you.

And you barely feel full, not an inch of anxiety clinging to you.

Jimin tries to make the next bite from his plate look as casual as possible. Chewing slowly “how long are you gonna do this?” Jin shrugs, looking at you, absolutely mewling in Namjoon’s hands, turning into his shoulder for another bite. Namjoon can’t tear his eyes away from you.  

“However long it takes for one of us to get tired of it.” However long it takes for her to not need it, and then maybe a little longer just for us remains unspoken, and unpromised for obvious reasons. 

But if anyone would get Jin's near dogmatic approach to his pack's care- it would be Jimin. Jimin almost chokes on his next bite when he looks over and sees your mouth parted easily, eyes closed and tongue out, undeniably lewd and yet, so cute as you let Namjoon feed you. 

He shifts in his chair, an eager pup as always, Tae hides her smile in her curry. “Can I, maybe do it next time? Feed her” he clarifies with a hard swallow. Jimin’s barely tasted the food this whole meal- so distracted by you that not even taste punctures the moment.

He’s been walking on thin ice since the whole scent marking incident (thin ice in the sense that every act of dominance over you had been carefully regulated by the two older dom’s) and yet now Jin smiles, and he doesn’t have to say yes for Jimin to know that he’s agreed.

~-~

(Demo: Hobi)

A storm rolls through that Wednesday and dumps buckets and buckets of water that the small garden Hobi’s been building at the front of the house desperately needs. But by Thursday the world is freshly watered with not a drop out of place, the summer sun returning with a vengeance after being denied a day. 

Hobi doesn’t usually hate his job even though most of it boils down to customer service and customers are well…pleasant at best and really really shitty at worse. He much prefers making bouquets in the back or reorganizing the annual flats of veggies and petunias where he can just stick his headphones in and ignore the world for a few hours. 

Getting paid for it is a little bit of a perk. 

He doesn’t usually hate his job, but sometimes he pricks his fingers one too many times or has to handle one too many rude customers or like today- the freezers that they keep the florals in just crap out because of the heat. The shop is a little old and rusty in general and many things haven’t been replaced in as many years as Hobi’s been alive. They lose a whole 1/3rd of their inventory that day and close early. The other two freezers packed to the brim with the expensive roses but-

It does have some upsides. Those upsides being a full bouquet of orange daylilies and copper tips, butcher paper bunches of asters- blue tiny stars mixed with yellow-white ones that have become particularly on trend with younger audiences. A small bunch of gardenias that Hobi split with his coworker that he knows are Jin’s favorite for their smell alone. 

They’re not the most attractive bunch of flowers color pallet-wise but Hobi is known for being particular about color. He’s just happy to have something to bring home especially since it smells so nice in his arms on his walk back. 

If he’d known he’d be so laden with blooms he might have taken his car this morning, but he’d woken early with the itch to listen to his favorite songs for a long long while and more than enough time to walk to work. The same itch that only Yoongi really gets; ears ringing and head messy- sick for the medicine of music notes.

The delphinium isn’t his favorite but the track that hums in his head is. They might make nice bouquets if Hobi gets home and sticks them in some water before they crap out. He blushes looking down at his handfuls, the cord of his headphones tangling with the half dozen bushels in his arms. Thinking of the reactions that his pack might have to the flowers makes him more excited with each step. 

Jin loves them, and so does Tae- Hobi knows he’s going to be absolutely smothered when they come home and see. He rarely ever gets to bring more than one or two bushels home.

The midsummer air is hot but shifting, foretelling either another storm or maybe a cold front, something that will hopefully banish the leftover humidity from the storm, his button-down shirt is sticky with sweat. 

Yoongi is fixing the mailbox when Hobi turns onto your street, which isn’t surprising seeing as Namjoon had accidentally backed into it on his way out this morning, late for a surgery and rushing. 

He hasn’t been working on the house so much in the last week, and although Hobi thinks it might be for some larger issue- there also is the fact that the top floor is nearly finished. Not much left to do without Jin picking out the paint color upstairs, and he hasn’t seen it yet so they’re at a stalemate. Yoongi can do no more work without showing him and yet he’s not ready to do that and have Jin judge the culmination of his hard work. 

Hobi can see it from the end of the street if he stands just right; The floor to ceiling windows, the jem box of it- more of a greenhouse than a second floor with how much natural sunlight it must get. There aren’t any other houses that high on their end of the street and there’s more than enough cover from the cypress trees next-door so- Hobi doesn’t think Yoongi was taking too much of a risk with so many windows. 

Maybe he would start working on the back part of the house but the windows for that room haven’t come in yet. He’s heard Yoongi talking with the contractors on the phone more than once about the delays. 

Hobi’s already thinking of turning it into a green room once the weather sours. Summer has been here and is here for a while yet but colder weather will be here in a few short months whether they like it or not, pretty soon they won't need to worry about what parts of the house are as yet unfilled with furniture with plants to fill every nook and cranny. 

Yoongi's arms are sweat speckles and a little dirty with fresh specks of sawdust as he fiddles with the shovel and the few decorative rocks that support the post, but he’s finally gotten it looking the way he wants by the time he straightens up and sees Hobi coming on the sidewalk 

He smiles, showing off his gums, and Hobi hides his blush behind the chamomile. 

“Hey daisy” he murmurs, low and thoughtful as he catches around Hobi's waist, gravely enough to make Hobi blush roses onto his cheeks yet again, He pulls Hobi in for a small scent mark and the alpha is further brought down. “What’s this?” 

“Fucking freezer was on the fritz again, spent half of the day trying to get it to work but in the end we just-” 

You are never far off, Yoongi's little shadow and Hobi isn’t sure why he trails off when he sees you folded oh so carefully on the porch furniture. Knees brought up to your chest, half a plate of cut watermelon in front of you. Your face rests in the shade below one of the large leaves of Hobi’s fig tree.  

You’ve been doing so well recently and Hobi had almost forgotten what it looked like when you go non-verbal. That’s his first thought when he sees you, that somehow time is regressing. You're still in pajamas even though it’s passed midday, eyes closed and chest rising evenly. Although there is something in your body- tense, perfectly placed- that lets him know you’re not asleep. 

But then you open your eyes and Hobi recognizes that this isn’t one of those days- you’re still mostly present, just small and sleepy and domestic. His heart doesn’t stop thudding a little too hard, an omega waiting for her alphas to come home. 

Your alphas, Hobi is one of those, whether either of you want it or not. Both of you belong to Namjoon and Seokjin and now that your position in the pack hierarchy has been solved- technically- you belong to him too.

Hobi’s fingers tighten around the bouquets in his hands. 

Jungkook hasn’t let you forget your new status in the pack (although really- had anything really change?). He's man-handled you into a cuddle puddle over movie nights and has firmly bullied you into nesting the way that he likes; something that Hobi has only ever seen you go small and obedient for. Not plucky and defiant the way that Jin would if Jungkook tried that with him.

Jungkook had even made you wear one of his shirts to bed one night, had all but plucked one of your sleeping sets off your shoulders so that you could put on something that smelled like him. leaning forward to nuzzle and nibble at your shoulder again, refreshing the hickeys that taehyung or jimin had left- just barely fading. 

God help them all if Jungkook had been born an alpha. 

Pup or not- omega or not, He’s surprisingly possessive of you. They were all so used to Jungkook being the lowest ranking pup- always ready to show his tummy and be at the dom's mercy- that they’d never paused to wonder much of a menace he could be where their situation different. 

You watch Hobi, blink slowly at him like a cat might blink at a kitten, and close your eyes again.

Hobi swallows. Fingers teasing at the delicate chamomile in his hands (it’s his favorite) Yoongi takes the heavy lily stems from him pressing his face into them and sniffing. “What’s with her?” 

There is a tiny almost imperceptible dot of pollen on Yoongi's nose when he pulls away, Hobi reaches out to wipe it away without thinking.

Yoongi shrugs, voice a little quiet. “She’s been like that all day, didn’t want to sit in her nest- but she’s talking- so at least there’s that.”

“She’s not non-verbal?” he asks to confirm. Hobi does not keep his voice to a hush so that you might not hear them talking about you. Jin and Namjoon talk about you this way so why can’t he?

Yoongi purses his lips, “not quite.” 

You open your eyes as Hobi passes, and he proffers you one of the bouquets. Tilting it down at your level so that you can lift your body off the outdoor couch and sniff at them before you make a happy noise in your throat. It satisfies him, so Hobi leaves you there and heads inside in search of their largest mason jar. 

Trimming the blooms and putting them into a bouquet is hardwired into his body at this point. His mind wanders as he goes, trimming, fluffing, popping off the shriveled blooms with his fingers- no scissors necessary. 

He’s halfway through chopping down the stems before the frustration builds and he plucks off a perfectly good bud on accident.

He's left to stare at the little bud, curled tightly in his fist, delicate and damaged by his fingers. Never to bloom now that he's cut it off. It's not his first time accidentally damaging a perfectly good stem because he was thinking too hard about something, and it probably won't be the last. 

Hobi looks down at the small pink flower for longer than he’s willing to admit. 

The house is quiet, the rest of the pack won’t be home for the next hour and that is more than enough time to fix this. 

He puts the rest of the unopened flowers into the water without arranging them, begging them silently to survive for just a few more hours. Hobi snatches Yoongi’s flannel from where it hangs by the door, chocolate smelling and happy with the beta’s scent- it’s perfect for what he needs. The keys in the catch-all jingle as he leaves the quiet house behind

He tosses it on your lap as he passes, fisting his keys with a muted clink of metal against metal. You lift your head, startled by his sudden re-appearance so soon.  

Hobi’s not sure why he knows that you were just biting the inside of your cheek when you look at him, grabbing at the flannel on your lap to keep it from sliding to the floor. Fingers curling in the precious fabric like you’d needed something to hold onto. 

“I’m going to drive to the beach for a bit, you comin'?” you still for a second, then oh so carefully stand, wobbling a little. Hobi resists the urge to grab your elbow as you pull on the flannel. 

Hobi has a water bottle in his car. He’s going to hand it to you the second he gets in.

You slide on your shoes and Yoongi cleans his hands with a towel, looking every bit the househusband wet dream that he is. He looks like he’s about to ask you something before he turns to Hobi instead. “How long do you think you’ll be?”

Hobi tells him an hour, probably no more. “Okay.” Yoongi eyes you- wary and concerned, but doesn’t stop you from getting in the car without him. You don’t ask Yoongi to come either although the beta stands at the ready like he maybe expects you to. 

You’re transported from one cozy spot to the other and Hobi gets in his car and lets you buckle yourself in before he pulls away. He doesn’t prompt you to speak the entire drive there, letting the music hover where words might fail. His tastes get a little bit more mellow without Yoongi in his passenger seat to spark his sound into delicious deep base rhythms, tamed by your quiet and companionable silence. 

You let him play the music he wants; you don't say you like the first song or the second but that's fine. Hobi will eventually play something you like- one thing he prides himself on is his good music taste. 

It shifts from; and I really wanna let you go, cuz I just wanna be only yours to Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in but you don’t fault him for his choice of oldies as the bridge sparks indie summer bright and cinematic when you turn from town to beach boardwalk and pull in to a place to park.

Hobi turns the car off and the music stops. “Do you want to go down to the water?” 

Your ankles rub together like a cricket, toes perched, shoes abandoned on the floor of the car. This part of the coast has the berm is built up so that people can drive their cars close without having to let the air out of their tires or drive onto the sand; something that Jungkook and Hobi have been trying to convince the pack to do forever but Jin and Namjoon have been resistant too- at least until one of your cars gets too old to consider fixing and becomes a beach beater. 

The storm a few days ago has left the water dark and churning, it’s mid-week and even mid-day and high tide so there are few people here. Hobi isn’t expecting you to speak- not really. If you were truly non-verbal, he’s sure you wouldn’t force yourself 

But you reply, quiet. “I’m not sure I want to get sandy today, can we just sit here for a few minutes?”

“Sure.” Hobi turns the car back on and the music plays in the background like a special sort of loving, mixing with the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks. It only takes a few minutes for the salty air to turn his bangs all sticky, make them curl like orchid throats against his forehead, and sometimes he looks your way and finds your hair similarly pulled at by the ocean wind. 

“Are you going to keep stewing in silence or are you going to tell me what's wrong today?” Hobi is perhaps the only one who can push it out of you through force alone. But at least understanding waits on the other side of the bridge.  

You lean your cheek against his car door, finger tracing a slash in the plastic. You watch the ocean, the waves that recede and then crash, back and forth and back and forth. It’s not sunset yet but it’s a near thing, people are already starting to gather in their chairs to watch it from here. In the distance, a Ferris wheel and merry-go-round jingle. Moving syrup slow at this distance. 

“there’s- this itch under my skin, like something's going to happen, or like something's going to go wrong. I guess it’s just bugging me.” You can’t explain it and you won’t need to because Hobi out of all of them gets it. 

Hobi hums, low in his throat, Hobi doesn’t often sound like an alpha, unlike the others he doesn’t growl or purr very often.  “I felt something similar, a few months after I like- started getting courted. It’s hard to get comfortable with good things without feeling like there is another shoe waiting to drop.”

You fiddle with the edge of Yoongi’s flannel, pulling it over your knobby knees. There is a bruise there; finger-sized and purple. Hobi wonders where you got it from and if you categorized the hurt. It could literally be from anywhere but still-

You curl up looking fragile in his front seat. He teases at his keys with his fingertips, wanting to start the car and take you somewhere where you might be able to get the care that you need but unable to make the push to. 

“Don’t tell him but sometimes I just want space to be like- a little sad sometimes without it hurting Yoongi,” your eyes are like the ocean, furious, bubbling towards histeria, words spit like sea spray “I don’t even know why I'm sad, everything been so good recently too- I’m just-"

"Restless?”

You fall silent and Hobi screws his eyes shut, and his eyes sting with saltwater, aching dully from the ocean air. He stays quiet because he doesn’t have a good fix for you. Maybe it’s enough just to bare your pain, not to try and fix it for now. 

After a heavy moment, you sigh, then refold your body like thoughts reorganized sitting up more properly. “Life is short but also unbearably long” you quote, more for the sake of it than anything. 

Hobi’s fingers drum against the steering wheel “It is. But I think it can be sorta pretty if you let it” Hobi reaches over and ruffles your hair on a whim, you duck away from the touch- affronted like a cat at just being woken up. 

Hobi does it again extra rough- truly messing your hair up just for good measure, you push his hands away and grumble threatening,

 “next time you’re about to leave for work, and you’ve spent ages on your hair- I’ll be waiting” 

He laughs leaning his elbow up against the car door while he watches you fix the mess he made, taking your hair out and putting it back up in a messy something. Hobi’s never had long hair- it looks really hot (And not in the sexy way hot).

 “what are you so worried for- it’s not like anyone important is going to see you?” You shrug, and fix your hair in the mirror. Omegas and their vanity. Hobi wonders why it stopped bothering him when it’s you. 

(If he looked closely, he might see you hiding your blush, but Hobi has never been known for his observation skills.)

“I’m kind of hungry” he says, and it’s true, Hobi rarely ever packs a lunch with him to work, only on the long days, theres no need to make the effort when he only works 4-6 hour shifts “Is it okay if we stop by the usual spot on the way home?” 

“Sure” 

Hoseok struggles to get the car started, it turns over once, then again before the engine reeves to life. Your phone lights with a notification but you don't check it and the sea waves crash behind you ever-present. Not stopping, not even now that the storm is over.

The ocean never stops moving and you’ve barely been here for 10 minutes but you don’t mind- it’s all about the drive anyway especially when you can’t get out and walk along the beach today- the tide is too high and the seas too angry.

“Can you make mine up the way you did last time? With the fries and stuff?”  

Hobi hides his smile as he lingers at the exit to the parking lot, turning his face away so that you won’t see. “Of course, I can.” 

The song on the stereo plays, the queue progressing because Hobi had fiddled with the playlist before you’d even started driving, allowing you to sink back into comfortable silence without pause. 

You set your hand on the center console as the speakers play, the singer speaks dolefully, the hiss of it going in and out plesant; I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying.

at least i’m trying. 

“I like this song” you comment quiet enough to be lost in the music.

But Hobi hears you, and at the next red light, without being prompted, Hobi adds the song to an unnamed playlist.

~-~

(Hidden track: Hyejin) ( 2 years prior) 

You recline along Hyejin’s lap, your body stiff, not only because you're worried about tearing the fresh stitches on your back, the little lines of silk thread closing the marks, the letters that your husband carved there not hours ago.

Right now, you're more nervous about getting her scent on you and tracking any hint of this home to Geumjae. It would be a death sentence after this- to wear another scent home so brazenly.

Above you she hovers, petting over your hair with her long-manicured fingernails, her short hair falls over her face, pretty. Hyejin is so pretty- pretty in a way that you could never hope to be. 

She hadn't made any sort of disapproving noise at your distance only cooed like an owner kooing at a puppy’s hurt paw when she'd seen the marks on your back. The doctor had left a short while ago, and you're hummy, a little high from the pill they'd pushed against your lips. You’d barely avoided the humiliation at it, her manicured fingers petting at your tongue making sure you swallowed. 

But you’d had no choice but to be obedient. 

You're high enough not to feel the pain and the room is so spiny- it feels like your body is just a bunch of leaves being turned over in the wind. That doesn't apply to your mind, turning over details of where you are or who you're with without much haze. 

You, in a master bedroom; a nest room- thick red velvet on the walls and thin plumb gauze that sections off a lavish nest of the finest Egyptian cotton. An expensive tufted velvet bowl, the perfect nesting barrier. It’s a very perfect and precise nest, not a pillow or a blanket or an omega out of place. All overseen by Moonbyul, reclining on a tufted settee of the same color sipping at a glass of white wine.

There are two omega’s in the nest, but they’re hardly more animated than any of the designer pillows. You wonder how much they cost. You’ve never met Moonbyul’s and Hyejin’s other packmates before today. 

Though their still figures might have more to do with the drugs on the side table labeled with fancy names that you fixate on. Arymo ER, Ketamine-8h, a orange white lid bottle of heat inducers, a bottle of heat and rut suppressants. And one, the vial that there is certainly a lot of, blue-capped, plenty of it sitting empty on the dresser and the wastebasket. 

LPH-44 (Alpherine Clorohexadine)

Your eyes roll into the back of your head as the dose really starts to hit you and you shift, letting out a small noise. Hyejin's hands on you get hungry, one of hers gripping under your ribs a hair too close to your chest to be proper. 

"Oh, does that feel better pup?" she finishes tightening the bandages on you and your body gives a dull throb, not drugged up enough apparently. She pulls you up, and you go like a rag doll across her lap. "We really should be getting you into the nest my cute little doll.”

It isn’t just you high and vulnerable right now, Moonbyul and Hyejin's other packmates are both equally as giggly at her comment, you thought that both of them were passed out but it turns out it's just one of them and she’s waking, shifting in her tiny little night dress, translucent white lace that does so little to hide her body. 

You’ve never seen another omega wearing so little.  

The room is thick with the smell of slick, a scent so foreign to you on account of how little you smelled it anymore- even from yourself. Their giggles litter the edge of your peripheries, twirling ribbons that echo in the large room. Your mouth feels like it’s stuck together with peanut butter as you try to voice your protests but-

But Moonbyul gives a hum of agreement, and you realize Hyejin had never meant her comment to be for you.

up little doll, let alpha hold you.

You feel Moonbyul's hands on you, pushing at them weakly before she can lift you up. It takes great effort for you to speak, to make your tongue and teeth and vocal cords operate properly. "No- don't wanna," you blink blearily, and she sits, huffing and gesturing at you and sharing a laden look with Hyejin. 

See, I told you that you didn’t give her enough. 

Being invited into a pack omegas nest is one thing, being invited into an omega's nest while one of their omegas is in pre-heat is another and sends a very clear message that you're not prepared to answer. Not now or with the way that Hyejin's hands tangle in your hair, her words murmured quickly dissipate like a ripple on a lake, you won't remember them later but-

"She seems to be in good condition, at least he hasn't damaged her too much yet."

"You call this good condition?" It's not angry or vindictive, if anything their comments on your body are playful. like you're a project- some house purchased off the lot that just needs work.

One of the omegas in the nest is staring at you with bright eyes, not quite lucid just like yours- who knows if she’s high on drugs or on the hormones of pre-heat. Funny, you haven't felt like that in so long, you've almost forgotten what it feels like. 

The omegas peer up and out of the nest, staring at you like two children presented with a new toy they can't open till Christmas, one of them makes grabby hands, and Moonbyul goes to soothe them leaving you with Hyejin. 

The pain in your back from the cuts sting and ache. Subtly drawing you out of your drug-induced fog until you can pull yourself out of Hyejin's arms though it only makes the room spin harder, you decide there and then that you don’t like drugs- don’t like anything that makes you feel so unsteady.

You suck on your dry lips, and a second later there is a hand on your chin.  Hyejin, beckoning you to drink from moonbyul’s glass of half finished wine. 

With her hand on your chin, there is no disobeying. 

You remember at least to be polite. In a wolf’s den there is no reason to thank one for sharpening its teeth and yet- "thank you, thank you for helping me" Hyejin’s long manicured nails rub a bit of the wine that’s gotten off your cheek, and she presses the nail between her own lips, purring at your taste. 

"If we weren’t going to be otherwise occupied very soon," Hyejin says, with a clear tip of her head in the direction of her quickly sweetening nest, "we could help you, you know, Moonbyul and I- we could keep you safe from him if you only let us."

"You know I can't ask that of you." but the protest sounds weak even to your own ears. 

Moonbyul sits on the edge of the nest, and the two omegas quickly wrap themselves around her, one looping their arms around her neck to nose at her scent gland, and the other pulling at her legs, letting out small keening noises trying to get between them. She behaves like they haven't touched her at all, like she's not nearly getting eaten out right now, petting gently at the omegas head that noses between her legs. 

You try not to look but when you tear your eyes away, Hyejin is watching you with a smile cracking at her red lips.  "Be honest pup, you can't afford to go without our help much longer."  

You know that nothing comes without its price and you don't often get something without anything in return. But you're desperate, and as much as it chills you to admit it- 

Hyejin is right, you don't know how long you'll survive on your own. A few months maybe, till Christmas if you’re lucky. 

You whisper the words, still so afraid "he could kill me. Just for you saying that." It's the truth. 

Hyejin brushes a manicured hand across your cheek. "I know, but if what Moonbyul and I have planned works out- and it will work out- then we'll be the ones holding all the cards and he'll be dead in his grave."

So they do have a plan, your husband is always going on about the moon family and their blasted penchant for scheming, always telling you that you need to stay away from them- unable to confront Moonbyul about her omegas friendship with you without risking an internal war. 

You furrow your eyebrows, thinking it through. If they’ve got a plan already then this is hardly your fault. you’re just trying to make the best out of a bad situation- even if this feels like trading one jailer for another. 

you want so badly to be free, to not worry about pain anymore, to not be in the thick of it, you just want a spot to rest your head, to feel a little safe. 

and well, the omegas hyejin and moonbul keep look well taken care of- happy- if not for their slack smiles.

You swallow and resign yourself to what might happen, whatever it may be. It can’t be worse than dying- than the hell waiting for you back home. 

As if in response, the marks on your back throb anew. Whatever they gave you it's wearing off quickly. 

You reach up fiddling with the collar of her shirt where the bee tattoo lingers. It's a sweet gesture, one that makes her want to coo at you and deposit you in her nest, where all perfect and pretty little things should go. 

But you're not her's- at least not yet. 

"Okay, what do you want me to do?"

Her teeth look just a little sharper when she smiles down at you. "Alright, listen closely pup.” 

~-~

(Outro: Taehyung)

It’s late, and the rest of the pack is curled around Jin and Tae on the couch, a forgotten movie spitting its credits out. In a few minutes, Jin will wake them and will heard his pack into the nest room for sleep, but Tae knows it won’t feel quite as good as this.

With Namjoon piled by the door with a lapful of Jimin nosing sleepily at the pack alphas stomach, with Jungkook curled in a small mess of blankets beside him in a cute little mini nest, cheek pressed against Hobi’s thigh. With Yoongi asleep and reclining against Hobi’s chest with you in his lap similarly prone, your and Jungkook’s hands twined between the two of you.  

There's something budding there, Tae is almost sure of it. She sensed it the second you came home from the beach today, the two of you quiet- but not startlingly so. 

She’d watched you both very closely-  the way he’d gotten you a glass of water while you ate, Namjoon and Jin eyeing you waiting for a meltdown but waiting in vain as you ate side by side with him, the way Hobi had gone to rearrange the flowers after dinner- and had saved a small mason jar full of blooms for your bedside table. Similar vases full sit on either side of Jin’s nest room. One on the kitchen table, and one on the dining room too. 

Tae just hopes that nothing ruins it. 

Tae is just barely awake with her head placed in her pack omegas lap trying to savor this for as long as it lasts. because she knows that going to bed won’t feel quite as good.

You and Yoongi will sink across the hall, will cleave this group in two. Tae wonders if it frustrates Jin (looking up at him, his face colored all blue from the tv screen and his open phone) to not have you nest with them still and sleep in the pack bed. 

The omega can’t know what he does when he touches Tae, if Tae were a poet (and we all know Tae is a poet) she’d call the feeling shimmering, the heat over asphalt on all but the hottest days, delicious ripples of sensation that pull at Tae’s very seems as he carding his fingers through her hair. 

It’s gotten so long, a grown-out shag of cinnamon cuteness. Red-tinged at the ends from their beach day. She’s only just started to really like it- her hair grown out just enough to start to be considered feminine. She catches herself looking at her reflection extra long in the mirror these days, struck by the idea that somethings changing and whatever it is- she likes it. 

Her face looks just a little rounder like this, her eyes poking out from beneath her long bangs a little more doe eyed. It makes her wonder what transitioning might look like if she where strong enough to reach for it- what she’d look like with waist or even shoulder length hair. Would it look pretty? Would it look as perfect as she imagines? Could she get highlights and fun colors and braid it side by side with you? 

It’s yet another reminder of all the unsaid things between them when Jin speaks. Earth shattering and simple, love is often a breaking force that way, especially when you don’t want it to be. 

“You need a haircut, I scheduled one for you tomorrow pup.”

Tae’s heart drops into her belly, the words low and hard and aching like a wound. Her first reaction is that she doesn’t want to. She freezes and stiffens just barely; Jin picks up on it. tearing his eyes away from his phone and looking down at Tae- her scent just barely souring before she gets a handle on it. 

“Taehyung baby, what’s wrong?”

“I just didn’t expect to have plans tomorrow, but it’s- it’s fine. It’s okay.”

It’s the furthest thing from okay as Tae stews, unsure. The calming pheromones that Jin is pumping out to soothe one of his alphas aren’t working on Tae at all as she thinks about the haircut- thinks about cutting off the one bit of herself that she actually likes- the one thing about her that actually doesn’t give her dysphoria but euphoria just a little.

It takes real effort for Tae to meditate her scent into remaining cinnamon and sweet. Tae’s first instinct is always to hide, like some insect masquerading as a piece of bark, anything to avoid the unpleasant teeth of a predator or something that might tear at her delicate wings. 

Jin isn’t one, but Tae still can’t say anything to it. The words bounce around her stomach like a metal ball in a pinball machine, there one moment, then jingling around her chest the nest. 

Tae can’t say it, she can’t say that she doesn’t want it because Jin is watching her. She can’t ask for what she wants- if there was ever a time to confess to something- maybe now would be it. 

I’m actually not sure I want too, I’ve been thinking about my hair recently Jin,  I think I might- I think it might make me happier to keep it longer- to grow it out like a g-girl- Jin I think that I’m- that I could be- 

She couldn’t speak even if she wanted to. Her throat closing up, is this what going non-verbal is like?  She is at once, drowning underneath her fear of disappointing her packmates (and Jin in particular) and burning from the inside out with want, (a wanting maybe triggered in her from your first kiss, your first time doing makeup in the library room- you. Just you. Without you- Tae might never have wanted this so bad.)

Tae can only keep going like this for so long before hiding her gender actually starts to kill her. and it feels like something in her was just ripped open, her heart offered up willingly to disappointment. 

Jin clicks away at his phone, unaware of Tae’s conflicted heart, drying up like a flower without any water. 

“Will you pick up kookie after work and take him with you? He’s looking like a shaggy pup too. I’d ask you to take Hobi but he says he wants to let his hair grow out a little.” 

it’s not jin’s fault, he still thinks that tae wants this kind of babying, still needs to be reminded to get haircuts and grooming like this. So Tae says a quiet whimpered goodbye in her head, bleeding out onto Jin’s lap and the couch. metaphorically of course. Not a drop remains spilled. Tae will not make a fuss for this. 

On the couch, Jimin twitches, as if somehow he knows that his soulmate is hurt- that something hurtful is happening to Tae- even in his sleep. 

Tae lets out a single held breath,

And agrees.  

~-~

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Come tell me what you liked about this chapter!

~-~

Extra: Hobi’s playlist 

Harry Styles - Satelite  Maye - Yours  Taylor swift - This is me trying Willow smith - meet me at our spot  Hozier - Cherry Wine  Post Malone - I Like you 

[mingiswow]

Relax | Ahn Hyejin

Pairing: Hwasa x genderneutral!reader

Genre: smut, fluff

Words: + 1.4k

Warnings: sub!hwasa, dom!reader, fingering (f), swearing, praising (hwasa), a little overstimulation, you call her baby a lot, not proofread,

⚠ If you’re under the age of 18 and/or don’t feel comfortable reading that type of content, I have a lot of other content here.

⚠ English is not my native language, so pardon me if there’s any mistake. And you can always tell me what’s wrong.

Request: Oh, my god. Can I just say your sub!hwasa fic was just so hot….. can I maybe request another one? Being a soft dom to hyejin after she comes home on a high after a performance?

The clock on the wall kept tick-tacking as you focused on your computer screen, finishing some details and retouches of the pictures you had to show your professor in the next class.

You were more than happy you had an all-rounder girlfriend, who gladly helped you in your project, being not only your muse, your inspiration, but your model as well. Ever since Hyejin entered your life a few years ago, everything changed, you never imagines that THE HWASA was going to fall for you, the clumsy intern that landed an internship at RBW and spilled coffee all over her in the first week.

To be really honest, everything about your relationship felt like a stupid cliche rom-com, from the way you met, how you became friends and were clueless about your feelings until some of your friends squared you two to talk about your feelings, your first kiss, your first time being intimate. Everything. What you didn’t expect was the first time she came to you and asked to dom her. It wasn’t something you expected but you didn’t deny it.

Hyejin was a very… interesting sub. She was compliant most of the time, behaving and doing as you say so. She rarely acted bratty, save for the occasions where she became jealous or felt like you were giving your college more of your attention than to her. Either way, you always got to make her enjoy herself.

You looked at the clock once again, 3 a.m., the time flew by but you managed to finish everything and send it to your professor. Hwasa was in a concert in town that much to yours and her sadness you couldn’t go - but you promised her you’d go the next day -, so she should be arriving in a few. So you decided to prepare some lavender and chamomile tea as well as a warm bubble bath for her, you had just bought this bath bomb that smelled like ylang ylang. Even though the concerts are always tiring and energy-draining, the first ones on a tour for your girlfriend were always the most exciting.

You had just finished melting the bath bomb and were playing with the bubbles when you heard her unmistakable singing voice. Yeah, she was definitely on a high from the adrenaline.

“Honey, I’m home” she sang, extending the “o” in home after she took her shoes and entered the house.

“On the bathroom”

She smiled widely looking at you and the bath, pulling you up for a kiss. “Is that all for me?” you nodded and kissed her lips again.

“I imagined you’d be high on adrenaline, so I prepared a relaxing bath and tea for you” she squeaked, her almost child-like persona always amazing you. “Take your clothes off and take a bath, I’ll grab your tea, ‘kay?” she nodded, already stripping out of her shirt.

You grabbed her favorite mug, a cute coral one that had matching drawings with yours, and served the tea, taking it back to the bathroom.

“You’re so good for me” she said as she heard your footsteps enter the place, eyes closed, neck resting comfortably on the little pillow you put, head thrown back, and a big smile on her face.

“I’m just doing what my perfect sweet girl deserves” Hwasa felt her cheeks burn at your words, the sweet pet names always putting her in a place of adoration and submission, she loved being your good girl, your sweet girl, your princess, your queen, she loved being yours with body and soul. “Take your tea and why don’t you tell me how was the concert”

Her eyes opened, hands grabbing the tea as she took a sip, enjoying the soft, sweet, and warm taste on her taste buds.

“It was great! The second nights are usually calmer because the first and the last ones are the fullers, which is funny because makes no sense-” she fired the words, excitement lacing her voice, even with all the downfalls of being an idol, she still loved to perform, to sing and inspire people.

As she spoke an idea popped into your mind. You slowly dipped your hand and arm in the water, searching for her tights and squeezing. A little squeak left her lips “keep talking, baby, I’m just helping you relax” Hyejin bit her lower lip, her eyes become instantly glossy, as you expected she was entering her sub space.

The singer went back talking as you massaged her tights, hand getting closer and closer to where she was starting to feel the heat rise. Instinctively she opened her legs, a smirk taking place on your lips. “S-so Byulie unnie went to perform her solo, it’s always good for- ahn, y/n” she lost her focus as soon as your fingers touched her clit.

“Keep going, baby girl. Be a good girl for me and tell me everything about today” with the other hand you grabbed her face, turning towards you and licking her lips. “Can you do that for me?” she nodded, lips searching for yours for a kiss, which you gladly complied, kissing her deeply, tongues dancing inside your mouths, breaths becoming more accelerated as you kissed and your fingers playing with her clit.

You two broke the kiss, Hwasa throwing her head back and taking a deep breath before speaking again, her voice as loud as a whisper, her mind becoming cloudy with arousal and pleasure. It was hard for her to properly form her words and sentences, she just wanted to enjoy your touch, but she knew if she didn’t finish you wouldn’t let her cum. And that was her priority.

“A-and… and… y/n I’m close, please, I… cum” the woman announced, her body, slipping into the bath, your fingers following the movement.

“But I’ve barely touched you, are you already going to cum?” she just nodded, eyes closed with pleasure, holding her orgasm the longest she could and your movements on the bud became faster. “Oh baby, you’re so sensitive. You can cum now” a rope of thank yous left her lips as she came, your fingers helping her ride her orgasm.

“y/n… please…”

“What is honey? Are you sensitive?” she nodded, the knot in her stomach building up again. “Can you take one more? Can you be a good girl and cum again for me?” she moaned, her honey voice being music to your ears. “Look at you, baby. Always so good for me, always taking what I give to you. I love you so much, my dear” her hands grabbed the edge of the bath, knuckles white from the strength.

You entered her pussy with two fingers, the water of the tub mixing with the wetness of her genital, a lewd sound filling the room. Hyejin moaned again. And again. And again. All she could do was moan as her walls clenched around your fingers while you pumped them in and out of her. “You pussy seems hungry, baby. Eating my fingers. Such a good girl, aren’t you?” She loved your praises, if there was something about the woman is that the more you praised her, the more she would melt into you, do whatever you told her to.

Her torso flew to the front, a deep whine leaving her lips as one of her hands grabbed your arm. “Are you gonna cum again? Go on them, cum on my fingers” like a button was pressed, her walls clenched hard, almost trapping your fingers in. You loved to see her fucked out like that, voice hoarse from the moans, chest rising and falling and heart beating fast with euphoria and adrenaline, eyes glossy and heavy, the sweat drops falling down her beautiful tan honey skin. More than that, you loved Hyejin.

When you noticed her high was coming down, you took your fingers out of her, the woman whining at the emptiness. You gently kissed her lips, savoring the taste of her grape lip balm mixed with the salty taste of her sweat. The kiss seemed to come from two different people if compared to the previous actions.

“I love you” your girlfriend spoke, lips curled in her beautiful smile.

“I love you too. Now let’s get you dry and go to bed” you lifted yourself up, earning a whine from her. “I know what you want but you have one more show tomorrow, I can’t fuck your voice out” you leaned down again, grabbing her chin and looking into her eyes “even tho I wanted to, my beautiful girl can’t have her voice ruined. Be brave for me and wait until tomorrow’s show is over, yeah?”

“Fuck! You have such a good way with your words” you chuckled at her pout when saying the sentence, helping her to dry herself and going to lay together in bed, her body pressed close to yours. You both drift asleep very fast, smile stuck on your lips.

[alluringjae]

all yours - jjh

all yours | it’s a royal order

⤑ summary: just how long will you remain stubborn to your feelings over your bodyguard?

⤑ pairing: jaehyun x female reader

⤑ word count: 2.7k

⤑ genre: romance, fluff, mini angst, suggestive (soft dom jaehyun aww) | bodyguard!jaehyun, princess!reader, slight enemies to lovers!au, modern royal!au (where south korea remains under monarchial power)

⤑ warnings: mentions of family problems, explicit language

⤑ author’s note: recently, i rewatched the princess diaries and it just sparked me to write this! this story is a prequel to it’s a royal order (which hit 500+ notes btw like OMG THANK YOU!!) though they can be read independently! honestly though, who wouldn’t feel week for bodyguard!jaehyun?? oh btw, i’ll be uploading my masterlist tmrw!!

anyways, enjoy!!

this is semi-edited hehe

⤑ leave me some feedback or hellos!

Parties held by the kingdom weren’t new. In fact, you’ve been trained for them all your life.

Proper etiquette, learning the waltz, and staying in trend with fashion, you’d say you’re a pro at it. That was until your rebellious ways got the best of you, and so you ditched attending them to be with your peers at the club.

Not your best phase frankly.

This upcoming ball, your presence was mandatory. It was your father’s birthday, and it’s been years since he held a huge party for it. The last being with your mother months before her accident. He also figured that since you’re in the midst of fixing your public image, you must show up to this event and socialize again with everyone. Fix old feuds, too.

If he requested you to this before your rebellious phase stopped, you would’ve flat out rejected it with explanations as to how much you despise the kingdom. However, ever since he assigned Jeong Jaehyun as your bodyguard, you’d give it a shot. Once a tough pill to swallow, but Jaehyun truly aided you in getting your act together again.

Yes, he had drastic measures since he worked with your father in the past. But after more time spent with each other, you could say that you’d entrust him with your life. Unlike your past gullible bodyguards, Jaehyun didn’t fall for any of your tricks, keeping it professional at all times.

You respected his views on life the way he respected your personal space. Often, you’d drop the formalities. After all, the age gap between you two wasn’t so wide. Within the boundaries of professionalism and friendship, there was a turning point where you’ve sheltered these peeping feelings for him from his vicinity.

Although you viewed him initially as your bodyguard, you’ve fallen for him as a man over time.

Even attempting to deny it when your childhood best friend Hyejin called you out on it, you’ve eventually accepted it that, indeed, you were enamored by him. It’s tricky, and you’re aware that he may turn you down, so you kept it within yourself. You wanted him by your side for however long, by and behind the public eye.

Enough about him, you’re about to step down the stairs that will lead you to the entrance of the main ballroom with the help of your maids. The nerves from last night haven’t ended, and you’re frightened to make a fool of yourself. You were seconds away from backing out if it weren’t for Jaehyun stepping in between the bedroom door of your father and you.

“He’s done so much for you, (Y/N). Don’t do this now.”

“I’m going to be verbally attacked by everyone, and I’m scared shitless, Jaehyun.” As your hand almost turned the knob open, Jaehyun pulled it away rather harshly.

“You have so many people to prove wrong, (Y/N).” He toughly stated, his captivating brown eyes directly looking at yours. Deep down, Jaehyun believed that you’re absolutely capable of anything and he’ll do his best to bring out the best in you. “You’re not going to be a failure like they expected.”

Almost like magic, if he asked you anything with those pretty orbs, you’ll just do it. It’s things like this when you’re infatuated one-sidedly. “Will you be there to watch over me?”

He chuckled, releasing your hand. “Of course, your highness. I am your bodyguard and friend, so I’ll always be there for you.”

Jaehyun, alongside the other bodyguards of your brothers, were inside already. Secretly, you longed for his presence after your father made an additional and sudden request. It was for you to be his first partner during his birthday waltz, meaning you’re also entering the venue together.

In a white and gold tule gown custom made by the kingdom seamstress, the gold crown pinned on your hair felt as heavy as your role. With a pair of designer high heels saved for these events, you tolerated the mild discomfort for the sake of your father. Meeting him in front of the main doors, the amusement in the emphasized beauty you glowed with enlarged his heart.

You were his only daughter and the youngest child in his family. It’s a hidden given, but he has the softest spot for you as you are the remaining identical piece of his beloved wife. Even if he advised you those strict rules, he was doing what he can to protect your family.

“Shall we?” He stretched out his arm for you, which you unhesitatingly took.

“I’m ready when you are, Father.”

On cue, the giant doors in front opened and the huge audience inside turned their way to pay attention to you two. From royals, influential figures, working staff, to those personally invited by the king, none of them could take their eyes of the both of you, though mostly you. Most of them chattered quietly amongst their groups, fawning over your bloom and how much more you resembled the late queen.

The music from the small orchestra played as soon as you paraded inside with poise, sharing a pure smile with everyone. This was your tiny way of reestablishing your image of innocence and revamped empowerment, not letting anyone harm you in any way ever again.

Curtseying in front of your father, you breezily waltzed with him on the main floor. With authentic bliss that even the audience could sense, you only recalled stepping on top of his feet when you were a young girl, still learning the ropes of the kingdom. Now, you’d say you’re capable of the basics and anticipate what’s to come. Whatever ruckus your grandmother queen attempted to throw at you, you’ll fight your way through them. She never liked you from the start, and painful to accept at first, you could care less now.

By the sinister glimpse she gave from her throne, you only bowed back with a carefree smirk as your father danced with another royal figure.

You are the bright future of the kingdom, while she’s part of the problematic present of it that you’re trying to redo with your brothers and people.

From the back with the other guards, Jaehyun marveled at your formal and sophisticated appearance. Even if this wasn’t the first time he’s seen you dressed up like this, it’s the elegance and respect you freely gave to the audience. He’s always found your beauty unmatched by others, but now, he’s undeniably whipped for you. From your jokes to your kind-spirited nature, he reminded him of the youth he missed out on.

It’s not like he’s strict because he wanted to, but he had to be the strong one capable of it all. But if it weren’t for your pep talk telling him that it’s okay to be emotional and weak, he loosened up. That’s how you two dropped the formal talk in private, going as far as roasting the awful royals and sneaking out to the city with disguises.

He knew he had a mission with you, but doing those kinds of activities was in his process.

Youth simply comes and goes, never to return.

Yuta, his close friend within the security department, wasn’t sluggish to the concealed liking of his friend for you, his elbow nudging him on his side. “Go dance with her, she’s getting shy there.”

During nights like this, Jaehyun reverted to his professional stance. Surveying the surroundings, especially when you’re within the vicinity, he lets his logic and physical skills take charge. He stood his ground, nudging back at his friend. “Shut up, we’re on duty right now.”

“If you’re going to continue hiding those feelings, you’re going to lose her.”

“I don’t have a clue about what you’re talking about.”

Training his eyes more clearly, no one dared danced with you yet. It started to feel uncomfortable, rubbing your palms together. These kinds of events, everyone would absolutely do anything to dance with you. Yet, no one bothered. Perhaps, it was intentional by the grandmother queen as you noticed the sides of her mouth quirk into a menacing grin. She just thrived on making your life hell.

But no, you’re not going to let her win again. You’re not the same problematic teenager she messed around with emotionally. As if the heavens heard your plead, a recognizable figure strolled between the crowds to reach the front. With his dimpled smile, you beamed calmly. No matter what situation you’re in, he always found his way to you. You’ve been accustomed to all sorts of his attires, formal and informal, but it’s the handsome way he looked with his hair pushed back and his black suit hugging his figure just right.

Indeed, you’re quite lucky to have someone like him.

The grandmother queen fumed in her seat, but that didn’t matter.

As Jaehyun courteously bowed, you gracefully curtsied in return. Coming closer, he straightened his posture as he planted a hand on your back, while one of yours on his shoulder. Colliding your remaining hands together, he led you first by leaning forward. For someone who said he never danced in his life, he did know direction and passion.

“I thought waltzes weren’t your thing.”

“Spending time with you is, though.”

The butterflies in your stomach raged inside, affecting the normal pace of your heart. Especially with his dearest gaze on you and his fingers grazing behind you, you could only wish he felt the same way.

Yuta had a blunt way with his words, successful in urging Jaehyun to rescue you from the pressure of the grandmother queen. Knowing all too well your hatred for her, he reassured you to always save you from it. But honestly, he’s been dying for a dance with you. He chose to end his stubbornness this time.

Screw the nosy eyes of the audience, wherein some disliked your current joy. The both of you brightened the room from especially the eyes of your father and brothers, watching innocently at your dancing.

He spun you a bit, landing on his chest with a fit of giggles. Deemed improper because you could drop your crown, but whatever. It’s been so long since you’ve felt on top of the world like this.

More people decided to join the floor, fond of the lovely music. Unknown to you, Jaehyun had other plans. Now or never, he thought. As the space started to enclose around you, he sustained eye contact with you. With a trusting glint, he held onto your hands and brought you out of the busy dance floor.

The balcony was more private, vacant even since everyone inside was either dancing, socializing, or drinking endless rounds of champagne. The fountain in the backyard worked actively, with some lights wrapped around some vines of plants in the garden down there, the night sky complimented everything. You’ve had your share of late-night talks here, but the fully lit garden made everything more remarkable.

Pausing to gape the scenic area, Jaehyun stood by your side and glancing at your visage. He’s been so hard-headed about his feelings, afraid to lose what you have. But also, if he never told you, he’ll lose his mind. He’ll only pray for the best, preparing himself for the worst.

How can one look effortlessly beautiful just by examining the garden, his body leaning over the rails? Not to mention how a singular curl fell in front of his forehead, you mentally geared yourself for what you’re doing next. As the night sky twinkled the evening with the breathtaking stars, so did your infatuation for him.

“Why did you come after me?” You questioned by his side, making him turn his head at you. The loss of count you’ve had for the times he mentioned that he didn’t enjoy the ambiance of these kinds of parties. So many fake and snobbish personalities, he’d comment every time.

“I’m quite sure you needed saving from the grandmother queen, plus I overheard from Yuta that she bribed most men not to dance with you tonight.” He responded truthfully, pitying how you had to cope with the treacherous leadership of the grandmother queen at a very young age. “I only did what I must as your bodyguard, Your Highness.”

“But what if that’s not what I want you to be?” You mustered your strength as you met his stare, his eyes filled with confusion as he scrunched his brows.

“What else do you want me to be then? I am your bodyguard, as ordered by your father and I don’t want to work with anyone else besi-”

An overthinker who rambled on and on, something in you snapped and couldn’t take it anymore. He was dumbfounded as your lips sweetly captured him for a delicate kiss, cutting him off entirely. Scarily enough, you anticipated him to push you off right away if it weren’t for his hand snaking around the nape of your neck. Luring you in deeper, your eyes shuttered by instinct and your soft hands tugged on the collars of his blazer.

Your mind was in frenzy, in disbelief of such an action. Could it be?

For you to make the first move so drastically, it only ended Jaehyun’s fears. There was nowhere else he’d want to be in the party as long as you’re by his side. Having you around his arms like this, the relief washed him over like the raging sea.

Literally enough, fireworks from the garden blasted to the sky for that extra bang of your father’s birthday like the emotions intensifying the both of you. From the loudness, it shocked your ears, halting your intimate moves first. Your eyes widened, strands of your hair untightened from the hairpins, and your knuckles reddened. At least your crown remained intact, not wanting the royal stylist to blame you.

Jaehyun attentively gazed as you wiped your lips, lost of its added pink complexion from your lipstick. As his fingers dabbing on his lips, he’s thankful not to find a patch of it or else questions would arise about it from the security team. It’s definitely not the first time a guard gets scolded for unprofessional behavior with elite guests.

In terms of those rules, he crossed beyond it. But nothing could overpower this delight. Without a single word yet, the feelings he contained were returned.

Eye to eye, you two smiled with endearment as the familiar warmth on your cheeks grew. Of all the men in the past you’ve stupidly entangled yourself with, never did you bother to strike the first piece of the board. Yet Jaehyun broke the norms you’ve established, and there’s nothing you could protest about it.

Right as Jaehyun pulled you in by your waist, craving another kiss like the first, groups of people begun to exit the ballroom to watch the fireworks show. Taking his hands, the two of you skipped away before anyone caught you and headed downstairs to the private open patio. The rush of excitement livened your bodies even if you could trip on your heels at any moment.

The music from the orchestra was still audible, hearing the oohs and aahs of the audience above. But now, you’re too spellbound by the dominant romance Jaehyun presented in his succeeding kiss. Cornered against the wall, you’ve let down your crown and let him have his way with you. An animalistic moan was released from your precious lips as he raked his hands through your sides and back, while yours removed his black blazer down to the cemented floor.

“No way this is happening.” You gasped through kisses, undoing a few buttons of his formal white top.

“It is, (Y/N).” Jaehyun peppered your neck with supple pecks, giving you all the admiration you wholeheartedly deserved. “It’s only you that I’ve ever wanted to be with.”

You sighed with gratitude, your index finger leveling his chin to come face to face with you again. Even when you’ve been doing so much naughty things, he still managed to look effortlessly like a god. This moment was beyond all you’ve wished for, and if the kingdom wasn’t going to have it, you’ll do what it takes to fight for it.

“I’m all yours, Jaehyun.”

[matryosika]

shoot me, chapter IX

pairing — changbin x reader

rating — 18+

genre of the overall series — smut, angst, fluff if you squint

prologue chapter I chapter II chapter III chapter IV chapter V chapter VI chapter VII

word count for this chapter —

warnings — mentions of alcohol, infidelity?, ! there is a scene where someone flirts on reader at a bar. the stranger makes an unwanted action by putting his hand on reader's thigh. it doesn't escalate to anything, but it must be listed as a warning. fist fight, reader slaps changbin twice... i think that's it.

note – this chapter does not contain smut (im sorry, i know some of you are here just because of it) but it does contain angst... so...

just a heads up, next chapter will include switch!reader as well as hard dom!changbin and it will be mostly hate sex. stay tuned for that. this probably has grammar mistakes but i am too sleepy and i will review it tomorrow. i am sorry... i love you all, and i think there's only one chapter left for this (+ small epilogue).

goodnight!

friday into the first week of arthur's honey moon.

"so he confessed love to you, you rejected him and he hasn't called you since you last saw him?" ryujin asked, her head hanging from the edge of your bed while she played with one of your pillows. you shook your head, sitting next to her "i hung out with chan twice this week at his place and i saw a few of his friends but he wasn't there".

"since arthur isn't here i haven't been to the company either so i'm not sure if he has been there" you mumbled, staring at the chat box under his contact.

"and you haven't tried to reach out for him?" she questioned again.

"i sent him a message after he left on saturday" you replied, reading the last message you wrote for him "he saw it, but didn't reply"

your blonde best friend hummed while fixing her gaze on the wall in front of her, analyzing the situation and trying to come up with a solution to mend your broken heart. “well, why don’t we talk about it?”

“talk about what?” you questioned so casually, laying down completely into the bed. ryujin crawled from the edge to where your head was, laying down next to you while she gave you a look of disbelief.

“you are in love with him, aren’t you?” she mumbled, touching the tip of your nose with her fingers, “that’s why you are so upset about him disappearing”.

you licked your lips and gave her a killer gaze, your heart sinking at the realization that, sooner or later, you would have to have that talk with someone for the very first time. and ryujin was that someone.

“he is a good friend” you replied, trying to avoid making eye-contact with her, “he was a good distraction from arthur”.

“admit it” ryujin teased, “admit that you are into him”.

“i am not”

“then why did you spend the whole week crying?” ryujin asked, her curious half-lidded eyes almost driving you insane, “hyejin called me on tuesday, she was very worried”.

“i was homesick” you lied, turning on your side so that your gaze would fix on anything but ryujin.

“you are such a bad liar, i can’t believe changbin bought it” she mumbled, laying down completely in the bed again. “you are lying to yourself and you know that”.

the thing is, you weren’t.

you knew that you loved him, and you knew that he loved you as well.

but for some reason, the kind of love you felt for him was selfless and, as much as you wanted to be selfish and have him all for yourself, you couldn’t do that.

“just let it go” you whispered weakly, closing your eyes and swallowing hard to avoid crying in front of her.

it’s not that you didn’t trust her, at the end of the day she was your best friend. but you truly believed that, by being open about your feelings, talking about them would only make them more real.

ryujin left the bed and walked towards the vanity in your room, sitting down in the matching chair while she grabbed a comb to fix her hair, “does changbin know you are leaving next week?” she bluntly asked, looking at your tired reflection in the mirror.

another question you were trying to avoid.

“no” you shortly replied, your eyes still touring around your window curtains, “why would I tell him? he won’t even talk to me”.

“don’t you think he deserves to know?” she questioned again, his hands and eyes wandering around the vanity, “you said it yourself, he is a good friend to you”. ryujin smirked at her own choice of words, her bright eyes focusing immediately on the gold necklace resting on the vanity.

“maybe I will tell him,” you mumbled without noticing ryujin’s actions, “right before getting on the plane”.

“who gave you this?” the blonde girl asked without listening to any of your previous words, hanging the necklace from its fingers and drawing your immediate attention to her.

“changbin” you answered, feeling a pinch in your heart while your eyes fixed on the charm between her fingers, “last week”.

“do you know who this is?” your best-friend asked, her curious gaze shining more than it did before. you straightened yourself from the bed as she walked towards it, sitting on the edge with you.

“he said it was achilles but he never explained why he gave it to me” you mumbled, tilting your head, wondering what was so special about that necklace that got ryujin mildly excited. “you know i’m not really fond of history classes”.

“this isn’t history, this is universal knowledge” ryujin scoffed, hitting your head slightly, “isn’t it romantic?”

“what part?” you asked, “the fact that he gifted me a necklace or the random charm?”.

“be honest, have you ever read something that isn’t related to your major?” ryujin questioned with a look of disbelief in her face, “greek mythology?” you shook your head, confused.

“achilles was the greatest of all the greek warriors,” she explained while fixing both of her eyes on you, forcing you to keep up with whatever she was saying, “there's this story about him that says that when he was infant, it was prophesied that he was going to die at a very young age. his mother, to prevent his dead, took him to the ryver styx and dipped his body into the water. this river supposedly offered powers of invulnerability, however, because his mother held him by his heel, that part was not touched by the water of the river.”

“i love this history lesson” you mumbled with a tired gaze, not having any clue of what your enthusiast best friend was talking about, “but i would really appreciate a summary, my head can’t even think straight”.

“that’s the origin of the achilles’ heel expression. it is basically a weakness in spite of overall strength, which can lead to downfall.”

and after ryujin stopped talking, the last words changbin said to you before leaving arthur’s house were brought back to your mind.

"at the end of the day you were my biggest weakness, what made me feel helpless."

the gift was a way of letting you know that he was at your mercy. that no matter how hard he tried, you were his weakness and the potential cause of his downfall. only then you understood that his love was as selfless as yours was, putting his complete and blind trust in you, knowing that you were going to take good care of his feelings.

but you failed him.

a couple of seconds in silence passed by, ryujin’s compassionate eyes fixed on the single tear that streamed down your face. she talked a lot about so many things but, for a moment, she kept quiet. like she knew everything, even when you didn’t say anything.

you never told her about your feelings for changbin, nor how arthur threatened you to leave the house. she only knew about your sexual encounters with him, nothing more and nothing less.

you laid down your head in her lap, your eyes drifting away from her face. she sighed profoundly, her hands caressing your hair while you tried to hold back your tears.

“do you believe in soulmates, y/n?” she questioned out of the blue, not expecting any kind of answer. ���it was hard for me to believe in them at first, how someone can be made perfectly for you”.

another inevitable tear streamed down your face, landing on her naked knee.

“but, as i grew older, i’ve realized a lot of things that have made me fall into the idea that they might exist” she explained, her warm words feeling like the embrace you had been longing for. “you and changbin are an example of it”.

“you are talking nonsense” you whispered with broken words.

“you lived your childhood here,” she continued, not caring about what you said, “for one reason or another you had to leave, but the universe made sure to bring you back”. ryujin’s face contorted into a faint smile, “you were at the same bar changbin was by chance, but even if you had decided not to go out that friday with me, you were going to meet him later on”.

the urge to stop the tears finally ceased, giving up at the unpleasant, but liberating, feeling of crying.

“it was fate” ryujin concluded with a seriousness that you rarely had seen on her, “one cannot escape fate, that’s the beauty of it”.

“fate was never on my side” you replied, sobbing and wiping away your tears.

“that’s what you like to think”, she answered, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear, “pain is sometimes way more bearable than the fear of the unknown”.

you turned your body around to face her, her sweet smile giving you a feeling of reassuring and warmth that you hadn’t felt in years, “you like to think that life conspiracies against you and sabotage yourself constantly because you are too afraid to accept what it gives you”.

“i fucked it up” you mumbled, “i told him i didn’t felt anything for him”.

“there’s a solution to everything but death” ryujin concluded, still caressing your hair while you came undone in her embrace, “i am sure this can be fixed”.

“he doesn’t want to see me” you hissed in between cried, “shit, he doesn’t even want to talk to me”.

“when has a man stopped you before?” she joked, earning a smile out of you, “be true to your heart”.

“what am i going to tell him?” you questioned feeling a sort of unknown melancholy inside of you.

“what are you going to tell him?” ryujin repeated, letting go of your hair once you straightened yourself from her lap, “i am sure once you see him, all the right words will come to you”.

“are you sure you don’t want me to drive you there?” ryujin asked as she got into her car, “i truly have nothing else to do tonight”.

“i’m fine” you replied, closing the door for her, “i kind of want to do this on my own”.

she tilted her head and gave you a faint okay before starting her car. “just remember that honest-”

“honesty is the best policy” you interrupted, trying to say those words with the same tone she used. ryujin rolled her eyes and gave you a smile.

“i am really going to miss you again” she mumbled, “once you go back to japan”.

“i still have a week left here” you reminded her in an attempt to cheer her up, “a lot of things can happen in a week”.

the blonde haired raised her eyebrows before disappearing into the overwhelming city, leaving you on your own. as you stood there, you couldn’t help but smile thinking about how valuable ryujin’s presence was in your life: she always knew exactly what to say, and she was one of the only people who could change your whole mindset in a matter of seconds.

but now that you were on your own, you faced the harsh reality of a friday night at exactly 10 p.m.. you highly doubted that changbin was home but, after chan confirmed to ryujin that he didn’t make any plans for the weekend with them, you assumed that it was going to be way easier to find him there. the coldness of the wind suddenly made you regret your choice of outfit, but there you were at a point with no return. now that ryujin wasn’t there with you, you didn’t felt as bold as you did a few hours ago, and if you were to go inside arthur’s house you would probably refuse to keep up with the plan.

but it was all right. in the end, everything was going to be worth it.

no more self-sabotaging, no more fear. just like the way changbin risked everything to make you his, you were determined to be brave for him too. you were going to tell him how you felt about him, how you are being forced to leave and how badly you wanted to stay with him.

your trembling hands held your phone while you waited for the taxi to arrive, too nervous and excited to even think about anything else. even though it had only been one week since the last time you saw him, it felt like a whole eternity. you missed his bright gaze, his plump lips, his scent, his voice. you couldn’t wait to jump into his embrace and tell him all the things you wanted to vocalize the night you were in the bathtub, the overwhelming joy of loving and feeling loved intoxicating your senses as you smiled thinking about the promising future that awaited you.

[10:18 p.m., y/n]

are you home?

i want to talk to you

and even though he read the messages, there was not a response from changbin to be found. no matter how many times you called him or how many messages you left him during the car ride, he never replied.

you stood outside of his apartment complex for a few minutes, your curious eyes wandering around the parking lot in hopes of finding his car. bingo, fortunately for you, it didn’t take you long to spot it at one of the parking spaces. you smiled to yourself, taking a deep breath and walking towards the pair of glass doors ready to take the elevator.

at this point, your mind was rambling, overthinking the first words you were going to say to him. i love you too, maybe too direct. i lied, that’s too ambiguous. i want to stay here in korea with you, too specific. i feel the same way about you, that was an understatement.

the doors of the elevator opened, leaving you alone on the 18th. floor. the white walls welcoming you as if you had been away for long, the sight of the hallway bringing back all the memories of you walking across them holding changbin’s hand, guiding you all the way to his place with the ablazing promise of making you feel alright.

and so your feet started walking, without thinking anything twice. there was nothing to think about, your feelings were resolved and you were certain that changbin felt exactly the same for you.

but it would’ve been nice to receive a warning before opening the unlocked door to his apartment.

the coldness of the environment was not the only thing that made your whole body tremble in despair, both of your legs threatening to stop supporting your weight the moment you set a foot into his place.

an opened bottle of alcohol sitting on the coffee table with two half-empty glasses was evidence enough to let you know that changbin wasn’t spending his friday night alone. but fate wasn’t satisfied with that, no. fate needed you to be certain about the fact that there were 3 people in that apartment, including you.

the lewd noises coming from his bedroom made your heart stop beating in a matter of seconds, the blood in your veins turning cold just like your skin.

he is with someone else.

[12:21 a.m., ryujin]

i've been trying to call you

how did it go?

your glossy eyes ignored her message while you chugged down another shot of alcohol in hopes of blacking out soon, your gaze touring around the exact same bar you had gone to the first night you arrived to korea. i could've avoided a lot of things if i had just settled for the men in the first floor, you thought to yourself, a bittersweet smile appearing in the crook of your lips while you recalled the first encounter with changbin.

maybe ryujin was wrong, and things were supposed to end the way they ended. with him moving on to someone else and you returning back home. just like they were before your paths crossed with each other.

"can i have one more?" you shouted at the barman, handing the empty little glass to him. he gave you a kind smile and took it from your hands, leaving an awful sensation inside you.

this is what people do when they are heartbroken right?

"you are not from around here, are you?" a stranger approached you, sitting right beside you at the bar. "you have been drinking non-stop since you got here".

"are you stalking me?" you inquired with a playful, yet annoyed, tone.

the man raised both of his hands slightly trying to act innocent, "it is impossible not to look at you".

"ah, you men" you mumbled, grabbing the shot from the barman and drinking it in a matter of seconds, "you always know what to say to have a girl on their knees".

"i'm sure every man would do anything to have someone like you on their knees" he mumbled with a seductive tone, landing one of your hands on your thigh. you cursed under your breath at his actions, one of your hands carefully pulling your dress to cover more of your body with it.

"i'm not interested in chatting with anyone right now" you spitted, grabbing your purse and getting ready to abandon the awkward scene.

"hey," the stranger interrupted, the hand that was on your thigh moving all the way to your arm in an attempt to prevent you from leaving, "you look lonely, i just thought you could use a friend tonight".

"i could have any man i want" you darted annoyed, stumbling on your way down from your seat, "what makes you think i would settle for you?"

"don't be ungrateful," the man insisted, his grip on your arm becoming harsher, "just stay for a while, maybe i can change your mind".

"she said she is not interested" another familiar sharp voice intervened, the warmth of his body welcoming you while the man's grip left your arm, "how many times do you need to hear it?".

"are you his boyfriend?" the man questioned, trying to keep his composure, "next time you should tell her not to act slutty at a place like this".

as you raised your gaze, you realized that the familiar voice belonged to someone you had been with before.

jisung.

his tongue poked the side of his cheek, putting his body immediatly in front of yours. "watch your mouth and i will watch mine" jisung mumbled, moving one of his hands behind to make sure that you were still there with him.

the man that was acting too bold a few minutes ago withdrew from his seat at the bar and walked away, leaving you with jisung as the both of you watched his figure dissappear into the crowded place.

"if you can't handle drinking" the short-haired said, grabbing the empty glass and asking the barman for another shot, "then you shouldn't drink".

"god, who are you? my father?" you replied dragging your words, your mind already dizzy from the alcohol you had been consuming the past hours. "first changbin, then that man, and now you... do i really have to keep dealing with useless men tonight?"

"i came here to have fun, not babysit my best friend's girlfriend" jisung scoffed, grabbing the shot from the barman and chugging it down quickly.

"are you sure you got the right girlfriend?" you asked him with a playful tone, trying to order another shot but being interrupted by jisung right away. "because changbin is fucking someone right now and it is not me".

"you are fucking drunk" jisung sighed, placing the glass on the bar. "it's almost 1 A.M., i'm taking you home".

"i don't want to go home" you whined, rolling your head back.

"well i'm not going to leave you here on your own" jisung muttered, "give me the address of your friend or i'm taking you to changbin's".

"i don't want to be with either of them right now" you whined again, your clumsy feet not being able to support you and threatening to make you fall at any time.

jisung talked to the barman for a minute, giving him his credit card while he watched you in awe. "not only you wanted to drown your sorrows with alcohol but you also bought the most expensive drinks in here", he scoffed.

"i'll pay you later" you barely mumbled, your eyes closing constantly due to the flashing neon lights inside of the place.

"your address" he repeated, pulling out his key cards and cellphone.

"i don't have the keys to my place and my sister isn't there" you lied, resting both of your arms on the bar, "i don't remember my friend's address and i don't want to go to changbin's so either you take me to your apartment or you leave me here alone".

jisung looked at you for a few minutes with a frustrated look on his face, only to end up resigning.

"here is this t-shirt and here are some shorts" jisung mumbled, handing you two clothing articles from his closet, "i think they are way more comfortable than whatever you are wearing right now".

you looked at him with sleepy eyes, trying to engage in a conversation with him but failing almost immediately due to the alcohol's side effects. "do you remember when we kissed?"

jisung let out a soft laugh, walking towards the door of his room, "why wouldn't i?"

"changbin got jealous" you added, falling flat into the mattress, "i saw his face, he was angry".

"yeah, you should've told me that you were hanging out with him before that" jisung scolded you.

"given the opportunity, would you kiss me again?" you inquired, offering him a soft smile from his bed.

he shook his head, "the alcohol is thinking for you, y/n" he mumbled, walking towards the bed and pointing at the clothes he had given you for you to change into them.

"so is that a yes or a no?" you questioned, straightening yourself to grab the clothes.

"do i have to remind you that my best friend is deeply in love with you?" he fired back, crossing both of his arms against his chest.

"maybe you do have to" you replied, shimming down your dress in front of him. jisung's gaze drifted away from your body, fixing it on the wall behind his bed that looked ten times more interesting than it did before. "because i went to his apartment today and he was having the time of his life with someone else so i don't think he loves me that much".

"you broke his heart" jisung mumbled, only returning his gaze to you once he realized that you were fully clothed again, "i'm not trying to justify him but he would do anything to stop thinking about you".

"right" you whispered in annoyance, "because my first instinct would be to screw someone after the person i love did something wrong".

"weren't you the one trying to bring back the topic about the time that we kissed?" jisung inquired with half-lidded eyes and a smirk, making your ears burn in embarrassment, "sometimes people do impulsive things out of spite".

"and am i supposed to forgive him?" you bluntly asked, the burning sensation of anger lingering into your skin.

"i never said that" he mumbled while shooking his head, "i was just explaining to you what people act the way they act".

"well that's bullshit" you replied, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes, "if you truly love someone, you would do anything but hurt them".

"the problem with love is that there's not a universal definition to it", jisung continued, "your definition of love differs from the one i have, and that happens with the rest of the population. you do things out of love but sometimes they end up having the opposite effect".

you had learned that lesson.

"and what does that has to do with changbin fucking someone else?" you inquired with broken words.

"i was talking about you" the short-haired replied, "changbin told you that he loves you and you rejected him. are you that afraid of letting go?"

"there's a reason of why i did that" you fired back.

"it's not enough" he continued, "whatever reason forced you to hurt him that way, it's not enough, just like whatever reason drove him to be with someone else tonight."

with a swift movement you removed the necklace and placed it on the night stand right besides jisung's bed, his words drilling holes inside of your mind while your swollen eyes struggled to keep themselves opened.

"i will drive you home tomorrow" he whispered, "if you need anything i'll be sleeping on the couch".

and after spending the night at his place, he did as he promised. saturday morning he dropped you at arthur's house, hyejin receiving you with a worried look in her face.

"jesus fucking christ" she mumbled once you got into the house, "one of these days you are going to fucking kill me".

you gave her a tired look and walked with her to the living room, ready to tell her everything. from the casual encounters, how you ended up madly in love with him and how he ended up breaking your heart.

[changbin's pov]

"you are not going to drop me off at my place?" the black-haired woman in changbin's apartment asked, watching as he got ready to leave.

"i have things to do" he replied, looking for the keys to his car, "you came here on your own, i'm pretty sure you can leave the same way".

"you are such a bastard" the girl hissed before slamming the front door.

changbin sighed at the uncomfortable scene and continued on getting ready to head outside to distract himself, the weight of his cellphone on the pocket of his pants increasing as he was reminded of the series of messages you had left him the previous night wanting to reach out for him.

but he was too hurt to even see your face again. your pretty face, with those pretty, shiny eyes.

he swallowed hard at the thought of your image, leaving his apartment in an attempt to focus on anything but you.

*

"we are meeting chan at 9 p.m." jisung mumbled while he prepared some dinner for himself, "he needs some help with his work stuff". changbin nodded, grabbing a piece of what jisung was cooking, "did you have a good night?"

"i barely slept" changbin replied, his gaze fixed on jisung's hands while he prepared his food. "you went to itaewon right?"

jisung nodded, "it was interesting, to say the least. i didn't get a good night of sleep either".

changbin licked his lips and nodded, grabbing another piece of food. "well that's sad to hear but i'm going to take a nap on your bed, you don't mind?"

jisung shook his head, "just make sure to get up before 9" he replied, "i'm not too fond of waking you up, it's a hard task".

changbin let out a faint smirk and walked to jisung's room, ready to lay down into his bed and get the rest he wasn't able to get in the whole week, the overthinking and pain keeping him up for hours.

the memories of last night flooded his mind. your messages and his impulsive decision to call someone else in order to keep you away from his mind were overwhelming him with guilt. there were so many things he needed to fix, but not right now.

right now, he just needed to rest.

however, as soon as his eyes spotted the gold charm he had given you at arthur's wedding, his heart stopped beating.

your gold necklace was resting on jisung's night stan. the gold necklace he had gifted you.

he took it into his hands, approaching the unmade bed. your scent was starting to fade from the bed sheets, but it was definitely there. your sweet scent, a scent he would recognize even for a million miles away.

she slept at jisung's bed.

she slept with jisung.

driven by the anger, he approached his best friend at the kitchen again, jisung's relaxed countenance fading immediately as soon as he saw changbin's gaze ablazing with rage.

"care to explain this?" changbin spitted, holding the gold necklace between his fingers. jisung tried to act disengaged, but his face sold him out right after he recognized the piece of jewelry.

"look, ch-"

and giving him almost no time to defend himself, changbin punched his face. jisung's body swayed to the sides, his hand traveling all the way to his cheek in an attempt to lessen the blow.

"dude, what the fuck" jisung mumbled in exasperation, "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"what the fuck is wrong with you, han?" changbin growled, "how long have you been fucking her?"

"i did-" and another punch, jisung's body losing its balance and falling into the ground.

"i told you what happened" changbin groaned, looking down at jisung's confused face, "and the first thing you do is go and fuck her?"

"we didn't fuck" jisung tried to defend himself, his words coming out more desperate than he intended to. "she just spent the night here"

"as if that's more credible" changbin mumbled once again, his deep voice sending shivers through jisung's body, "let me guess what happened, you called her immediately after i told you that she rejected me".

"i don't even have her phone number" jisung mumbled in despair, crawling onto his knees to stand up from the floor again. he wanted to tell changbin what truly happened but, to do so, he would have to tell him that you were at his apartment last night and witnessed the not-so-pleasant scene of him fucking someone else. he couldn't do that, not when you made him promise to keep that secret.

changbin looked at jisung for a couple of seconds in silence, his jaw just as clenched as his fists. jisung stood up from the kitchen floor and walked towards the bathroom to clean the cut on his lip, leaving changbin alone.

not losing any time, he stormed out of jisung's apartment without a warning. if jisung wasn't going to talk, he was sure you would.

[y/n's pov]

you told hyejin everything, from the night at the bar up until you spending the night at jisung's. she gave you a soft smile and held your hand the whole time, trying to reassure you about the fact that everything was going to be alright, even when things were not looking that great at the moment.

"i had a feeling you were going to end up with him" hyejin whispered caressing your hand, "the energy between the two of you was too intense to be ignored".

"i am not even sure if i want to see him again though" you added, lowering your gaze to focus it on your feet, "maybe i will end up leaving without confronting him".

"i am sure you can handle this" hyejin encouraged, "at least try and get a closure from this, so you can be at peace with everything that happened".

hyejin was a mysterious woman. too smart for her own good, and too wise for her short age. even though things were looking awful at the moment, her positivity made you feel the slightest bit of hope. hope for you and your heart.

"i am going to sleep" you mumbled getting up from your seat. "i have a headache from last night and honestly, jisung's bed was too uncomfortable for me to sleep in it".

your sister gave you a smile, "i'll be at the company until late today, but tomorrow i promise i will spend the whole day with you" she proposed, "i can take you to the mall and you can get some cute clothes, sometimes that helps to boost the mood".

you nodded and walked to your room, tasting the sweet feeling of getting your first sleep without your mind overthinking the what ifs. you did what you needed to do, even though things didn't turn out in your favor.

*

the desperate knocks on the front door woke you up in the middle of the night. the clock marked 8:22 p.m., but you were certainly not expecting anyone. you hadn't talked to ryujin since friday and hyejin was not going to come home early that day, so your stomach twisted at the thought of who could be behind the front door of arthur's house.

as you walked through the stairs, you checked your phone once again. no messages, no missed calls, nothing. no indicator of who could be banging the front door that fucking loud on a saturday night.

but it didn't took you long to find out who was behind it, his angry gaze shooting bullets right through your body once you opened it.

"changbin" you mumbled, feeling your heart sinking into your own chest. the mixture of emotions feeling like fireworks mixed with pure dynamite inside you.

"jisung? really?" he hissed, walking into the house and slamming the door right behind him. "not even a week has passed and you are already fucking my best friend?"

you looked at him with the most confusing look ever, probably more confused than jisung was. "what the fuck are you talking about, changbin?"

he pulled your necklace from his pockets, throwing it to your body. "you forgot this next to his bed" he groaned, "very considerate of you to take him off before screwing someone else, y/n"

"you are even more stupid than i thought" you mumbled, leaving the necklace on the first surface you could find.

"his bed smelled like you" he muttered, "his bed smelled like you".

you looked at him for a few seconds, his breath becoming heavier and louder by the second. it didn't took you long to realize the situation, though, and you immediately realized that he was not aware about your presence on his apartment that friday night.

"you are so fucking stupid" you whispered, your cold gaze almost intimidating him, your eyes traveling all the way to his redden knuckles "you are a pathetic man who can't control his instincts".

"and what do you have to say about yourself?" changbin asked, "a pathetic woman who doesn't even know what she wants-"

and as a result of his anger, his words, the memory of the two half empty glasses and the lewd noises coming out of his bedroom, you slapped him. his body didn't even move, but his gaze told you everything you needed to know at that moment.

"do it again" he ordered.

and so you did.

the anger building up inside you getting the best of you, the strong feeling on your palm functioning as a form of relief to you.

"you are pathetic" you repeated, the sadness that once occupied your soul was now being replaced with anger and rage.

both of his hands grabbed your wrists harshly, the grip on them making you unable to move. "you are rubbing me off in the wrong way, y/n," changbin hissed, his dark gaze landing on every single feature of your face, "if i were you, i would be more careful with my words".

"or what?" you challenged him, the amount of anger coming out of you being almost the same as the one he held inside him.

one should've told you that doing things out of hatred was not a good idea...

[muselin]

finally I see someone +25 y.o talking about slightly younger ppl. i'm on my early 30s and always feel ashamed of myself when i think someone younger is attractive. how much of an age gap is ok for you? also, i'm a switch and i don't have daddy/mommy kinks, but if there's someone who can make me call him daddy is top of bigbang. i stan suju, leeteuk n hyukjae give me the chills, but none of them give me dom vibes enough. i'd mostly like to tie them down and make them whine bc of overstimulation.

To give you a reference, I'm the same age as Taemin.

I know what you mean lol, I had the biggest mental block when 4th gen kpop ramped up, i couldn't get over the hurdle in my head of the age gap. I have different "thresholds" for different things. I used to think it was weird to write smut for idols who were so much younger than me but i got over it. Look at all the smut I've written for TXT lol. I have a 9-year gap with their maknae line.

But it's okay, you know why? Cause Heechul dated Momo, and he is 13 years older than her. Shim Mina's husband on the other hand is 17 years younger than her. IU dated Kang Jiha who is 11 years older than her. The actress Han Hyejin married footballer Ki Sungyeong who is 8 years younger than her. Not to mention that in Korea it's definitely a THING for a guy to date a noona.

Age truly is just a number my friend. Especially if we're talking about good old straight up sex and not marriage.

TMI for my own age gaps:

1. Had sex with - 10 years older than me

2. Dated casually - 4 years older than me

3. Serious relationship - 3 years older than me

4. Made out with - idk, probably 3 years younger or more? We didn't get to know each other much lol

5. Felt attracted to IRL - probably 10 years younger than me? I see cute university freshmen all the time. Sue me.

T.O.P. definitely gives daddy vibes, I agree! And as much as I love SuJu, I agree that there don't seem to be any straight up dom vibes in there. My bias is Hyukjae btw, love him so much 💙

SuJu definitely have a bit of a Great Gatsby, forever-young kind of vibe. Personally I can't see them as daddies and I can't really see myself domming them either, I view them mostly as equals.

Now, Shinhwa definitely give me daddy vibes, absolutely. Minwoo, Dongwan and Eric especially.