#doing that last bit actually made me so sad like finding the clips and stuff ough 😭 my boys😭😭😭

[vampiredraws]

All I want is my partner back | Song: I’m you’re man by mitski

merry Christmas! To celebrate the holiday here’s an edit that made me feel physically ill while making it ^_^

[slytherinshua]

You are going to see them live?! I hope you have a great time!!! The live clips that I've seen of them are amazing, so I'm sure that they'll be unbelievable (heh heh) to see in person. Can I ask, how did you come to discover them? What was it that attracted you to them?

It shocked me to find out that Yechan was the oldest and I love it. I really like his energy! He was actually what initially drew me to the band! I was aware that there was a band that had a violin and as someone who has played it from a very young age I was interested but I never actually did anything with that info lol. Then when boogie man came out, it came up on my yt and I decided to watch it. Fell in love with it, but when Yechan's solo came up I was so impressed (I made my mum watch it too, she taught me violin lol). I then decided to listen to more of their music and fell in love with them and here we are lol.

It pains me to think that I will never meet a man like Sangyeop in real life 😭 He really does seem like the best. How is he even real??

Wonsang really is the cutest oh my goodness. I love him so much! I showed my dad one of his bass solos (my dad plays bass, drums, guitar) and he was disgusted but impressed that he could play a 6! String! Bass! with such ease and sound so good. They really are a stupidly talented group, what I give to have even a smidge of their talent 😭

Now that you've said it I do kind of get boomer vibes off Gwangil ahaha. I love how goofy he is, but I also completely relate to him cringing at the others (I had the same reaction to aegihae(?) ahaha)

I'm happy to say that I have listened to most of the songs that you suggested! The solo in you're right is absolute perfection! I love how they have such a wide range of songs and sounds and somehow they suit them all! I've heard some of the solo songs (I am emotionally attached to the intro of domino), but I will definitely listen to the rest of them!

Thankyou so much for all of your recs and dive into their personalities! I don't know if I'm weird for doing this, but when I watch vids of them I can't help but wonder what they'd be like as my brothers lol. Not that there's anything wrong with mine, but after seeing gentlemen like them, mine could maybe be a little nicer sometimes? I feel like they'd all be very teasing, but caring. Gwangil and Yechan 100% seem to be the teasing type. Wonsang would be the nicest, I've seen him talk about his cousin and it's so cute. Sangyeop strikes me as the sort of person who would do hobbies and stuff with you even if he didn't like them, just to spend time together? I also feel like they would all be quite stern or serious if they had to, but would be the best overall!

Once again, thanks so much!! (Sorry for annoying you with yet another long message, I'll stop now ahaha)

yes i'm so excited to see them live but also a bit sad as the show i'm going to is the last on their tour and i've heard from other walwals who went to recent tours that they seemed pretty tired :( like wonsang would look exhausted but still put on a bright smile when a new song started.... i rly hope they're able to rest a bit before the show but if not i'm sure they'll be able to rest back home <3

actually an ex-friend of mine got me into them. originally i think she showed me flowering but that wasn't enough for me to stan them. what got me was snooze/play because i stanned right when play came out. i still cry when i hear play lol. idk why i didn't stan just cause of flowering?? to this day i feel like i have to be in the right mood to listen to it, its never been a favourite of mine in lucy's discography but i do appreciate it. i've also watched Superband for lucy and god wonsang is such a genius, watching it probably tripled my respect for him :( the way he arranged everything and made lucy unique from the other bands there by adding ambient noise to their covers and then eventually their original songs just gets me every time 😭 i love him (i'm so subtle abt the bias aren't i?)

yechan is so impressive!! he's also part of the reason that i was especially interested after my friend showed me some stuff because yechan is classically trained and before kpop i was always into classical music because of my dad. i played piano (mostly bach & scarlatti) so i loved seeing a band that incorporated a more classical instrument into a band setting.

THIS tbh like how is sangyeop real hes literally such a sweetheart and HIS VOICE. his personality offstage and his charisma on stage genuinely makes my mind spin. idk if you've seen the live performance of never in vain in particular but istg he was on something that day 🧍‍♀️ and i did not survive it lol

wonsang is literally insane... i love everything about him, his talent, his personality, his adorable little laugh. he's not real like i'm convinced i made him up cause NO WAY. even his singing voice is so nice and cute :( if you go to his instagram he has a lot of short little covers on there too and i just.... yeah he's really insane god. (also would recommend you watch the live clip of enough because wonsang plays a double bass in that and i may be very in love with him....)

lmao i had no other way to even describe it other than boomer 😭😭 he's just got an old soul and i feel him so much. but i swear he is so underrated in the group :( seeing him on Superband, he originally auditioned as a vocalist and could play guitar as well. and throughout the show he played bass, keys, and eventually landed on drums because the team needed a drummer and he had a tiny bit of past experience. the fact that hes the drummer for the team now is ???? and he sings and plays the drums at the same time LIKE THATS SO FUCKING HARD TO DO MY RESPECT FOR HIM IS INSANE.

you're right is one of my favourite lucy songs of all time.... i'm really hoping they'll perform it live but not sure if ill get lucky enough lol 😭 i've seen some of the setlists for the other shows but they switch up some songs so i really have no idea what they're going to perform... i'd honestly just say sit down and put their entire discography on in order or repeat and just... enjoy. cause they just have SUCH good music its insane. they're honestly my comfort group in kpop whether its content or music, i just feel so close to them :( so whenever i feel like i need to cry/feel sad/cheer up i'm always watching live stages. i love the ones on their channel from concerts because they put the lyrics too so i can feel extra emo and also appreciate the songs so much more lmao

i entirely get that omg.... i always wanted like a brother who was rly musically oriented like me (i do technically have one but he's 10 yrs older than me and hasn't lived in the same house as me since i was 5 so that's a no-go, my other brothers closer to my age never picked up an instrument lol) and i feel that with lucy. like they'd be so much fun, when i watch them playing games they just look like they have such a good time.

also don't feel bad about the long messages i love them lol!! it's so nice to talk to another walwal :) at this point you seem to know them pretty well and i can only recommend that you listen to the rest of their discography, watch live stages, and continue to watch other fun content :D

and if you ever are interested in watching superband (would recommend it if you like band music, it's great and not as toxic and competitive as other survival shows. the panel of judges was great too, including suhyun from akmu who i adore) i have the google drive with all episodes subbed <3 there are some legendary lucy performances on there and some of my other favourite band men (mainly ha hyunsang who has the best voice ever. he performed viva la vida in a team with yechan during the first round and they're still friends to this day i believe. sometimes they perform the song again lol their arrangement was so good and hyunsang's voice was just perfect for it)

[darklydeliciousdesires]

The Dark Passenger - Chapter Six.

As usual, I have so much love for all of you reading and reviewing this! Thank you SO much!! Seriously, you have no idea how much utter delight I feel to read your feedback :) 

Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five

Words - 3,320

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

‘Baby, I’m so, so sorry but I have to cancel tonight. I feel terrible but something important came up, family stuff. I promise I’ll make it up to you. Let me take you out on Sunday for lunch and drinks. I’ll call you later. I’m so sorry. Miss you. X'

“Ahhh, shit.” Camille sighed, halfway through pulling curls through her hair with her straighteners. Cancelling with only an hour and half notice? It really left her feeling disappointed, but if it was family stuff then she guessed there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Figuring she’d finish her hair anyway so it was all nice for the following day, she completed the task, her reflection in the mirror one of sadness. She hated being let down, especially by a guy she liked as much as him.  

Not only had she missed out on EZ, but she could also have been working, already missing out on the previous night’s earnings because of her period, waking up that morning to find it light enough to at least pop a diva cup in and be able to return safely without the fear of bleeding on either the stage, or someone’s lap.  

Turning off her straighteners, she took off her bathrobe, getting into her comfy sweats and going to flop down in front of the TV, ordering herself some takeout from her favourite Chinese. Thinking on it more, she wondered if his reason of family stuff had something to do with when he had to go and locate his brother the previous Friday. Picking up her phone, she sent him a message back hoping that everything was okay.  

It was. Because he was balls deep in Dina. He’d only stopped after remembering where he should have been in an hour and a half, a place he’d never had any intention of showing up to, no reservation at a restaurant made either.  

The only place he intended to be was exactly where he was. Loudly, too.  

“Blimey,” Bella exclaimed, shaking her head as she walked back over to Angel, Sally’s leash in her hand. “I just went to fetch this from the bottom of the stairs and I swear, the noises coming from your brother’s apartment. Bloody hell, and I thought I was loud.”

Her husband smirked, standing up. “You are loud, baby.”

Her eyes widened, bending to clip Sally's leash onto her collar, the dog beginning to spin with excitement. “Ohhh, I ain’t that loud, big sexy. Whatever the hell he’s doing to Dina, well, it sounds illegal.”  

He began snorting with laughter, considering hollering up the stairs at him, give him a good razzing, until he thought better of it. “You know, I’d go give him shit for it usually, but now? Ahh, nah. It ain’t worth it.”

Taking Bella’s hand, they both left the clubhouse, heading towards the gate so Sally could get a little exercise. Goodness knows, her owner didn’t have her evening walk high on his priority list, and the dog had the tendency to begin chewing when she was bored. The clubhouse already had part of a couch torn to shreds as well as a few table legs gnawed upon, even with her abundance of toys.  

“He’s still acting strangely, then?” she questioned as they hit the street, tightening the leash when someone on a skateboard wheeled past, Sally pulling and barking. She hated anything with tiny wheels.  

Angel sighed, rubbing his brow. He was glad for having his wife home, so he could confide all of this in her face to face. Bella was his best friend too, after all. “I don’t think this is acting strangely, baby girl. I think this is just him now. He’s changed so much over the last year, probably longer, actually.”

She sighed, squeezing his hand. “None have you have been the same, not since Coco died.” She paused for a moment, her voice trembling a little bit. She’d been heartbroken over his death, her hilarious, often inappropriate, loud, yet pure hearted friend had died just five months after she and Angel had married. She’d been up in Anaheim with her band, recording their debut album when Angel had called to tell her the news, driving back that night in floods of tears. “But do you really think it’s permanent with EZ? He seemed his usual self earlier on, before taking Dina upstairs to bang a new hole into her.”

“Sometimes he ain’t so bad, but those moments, they’re few and far between now. You’ll see what I mean, now you’re home for a few months.”  

Bella smiled thinly, leaning over to kiss his shoulder. “Something tells me I’m not going to enjoy the experience, of witnessing the altered EZ.”  

He let go of her hand, wrapping his arm around her instead, laying a kiss atop her head. “You won’t, but at least your old man here is still awesome.”

“Yeah,” she agreed with a giggle. “No change there.” As it turned out, she got to see it as soon as they arrived back just over two hours later, Sally suitably exhausted from her long walk.  

“Oh, there’s my fucking dog,” EZ bristled after striding over, snatching the leash from Bella’s hand, his face dark. “Tell me next time, or better yet, try asking.”

Fair tempered as she was, she didn’t rise to it. “Erm, you were kind of busy, EZ, and Sally was getting antsy. We thought you were doing you a favour in taking her out.”

“Well, you fucking weren’t! Don’t interfere!”

“Hey, fucking cool it with yelling at my wife, EZ!” Angel interjected with, standing between him and Bella. “I’m warning you, you don’t fucking lose your shit at her, you hear me?”  

EZ glowered, lifting his chin. “Or you’ll do what?”  

“Fucking knock you down, man,” he vouched, Bishop creeping around behind them, moving fast to grab Bella and get her out of the way when EZ lunged at his brother, Angel kicking him straight in the chest and sending him backwards. He recovered, swinging, landing a punch straight into his cheek.  

“Oh my bloody god, stop it! Both of you!” Bella cried, Sally beginning to bark as Bishop grabbed her swinging leash and pulled her back, wrapping an arm around Bella and moving her away from the melee.  

“Leave them, sweetheart. They need this, it’s been brewing,” he advised, although it brought him no feelings of ease to see what had been bubbling finally explode. It was only a matter of time before a fight endured between El Rey Oscuro and one of them. All bets were on it being Angel, who everyone knew was coming to the end of his tether with his younger brother’s antics. Acting aggressively towards his wife was the straw that had broken the camel’s back.  

“For Christ’s sake,” she whispered, hiding her face behind her hand as Bishop led her outside, the brawl continuing. She’d been in their world for long enough to understand how things were, but it didn’t mean she had to like it, when any of them came to physical blows, least of all her husband and brother-in-law.  

Bishop had been quick enough to take the bottle of Makers Mark he’d been enjoying out there with him, mainly to prevent it from getting smashed, telling her he’d be back in a few minutes, jogging over to the office and returning with two coffee mugs, pouring a large measure into each.  

“Here, cheers,” he spoke darkly with a sigh. “Some homecoming for you, huh?” The poor kid, she’d only been back for just over a week, and this is what she had to deal with, her family literally at war.

Bella took a good glug of the bourbon, Sally jumping up onto the couch to settle at her side. “Angel warned me while we were out with Sally, how bad he could be at times. What with catching up with Amelia, Nala and my mum, I haven’t really been around much to witness it. Today has been the first time I’ve seen him, in fact. I said to Angel that he seemed alright earlier, but bloody hell, Bish. For a man who has just spent the last few hours getting his dick wet, he’s in a pissin’ vile mood!”  

“Yep,” he lamented, lighting two cigarettes, handing one to her she thanked him for. “Vile is a good word to sum him up, when he’s like this.”

“What do you think is causing it? Is it the pressure of leading the MC, the stuff with the cartel? Angel told me, about the fentanyl. That fucking bitch, cutting you guys out. He had to expect she would, though. She’s smart. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Still, though. It was a stupid, dangerous idea to begin with. The tiniest little dust of that stuff kills people! They take even a fraction more than they should and bang! Dead.”

Even Bella got it, Bishop noted. EZ was still loathed to admit any of that particular mess was his fault at all. “I don’t know, darling. I really don’t. I mean, your guess is as good as any, the pressure of taking the gavel is huge, not to mention that his trajectory has been rapid to say the very least. Prospect, to VP, to president in the space of four years? It’s enough to head fuck even the strongest of minds.”  

Hearing a crash, she jumped, placing her cigarette between her teeth as she pushed up to stand on the couch, looking in through the window. EZ had just been sent into a pile of glasses upon the bar, Angel receiving a foot in the stomach for it. “I swear, they have five fucking minutes before I call for backup.”

“Felipe?”

“Oh yeah,” Bella replied, seating herself again. “If anyone can bang their heads together successfully, it’s pop.” As it turned out, they only needed a further two, everything quietening down, Angel walking out, holding a towel full of ice to his head, his lip dripping with blood.  

“It’s okay, I’m fine,” he stated after Bella had rushed to him, checking him over. “I got him worse, and his punk ass fucking needed it. It wasn’t just about you, baby.” Seating himself down, he picked up the bourbon bottle and took a big swig, wincing when the alcohol burned his lip, the doors of the clubhouse flying open with a crash, EZ striding through them, heading towards his bike. He rode out of there without word, leaving everyone to sit and ponder the damage left in his wake.

While they did, EZ burned gas for half an hour in an effort to calm down, before deciding to head over to the home of the person who he knew would make him feel better.  

As soon as Camille saw him there on her doorstep, bloodied and brushed, she gasped. “What in the hell happened? Are you alright?”  

“Yeah, I’m good,” he began, kicking his boots off as she locked the door behind him, taking off his kutte and hanging it up on the peg in her hallway, next to her little denim jacket and collection of hoodies. “Well, I’m not. I just got into a fight with Angel.”  

She suspected as much, nodding as she took in his face. “Come on through to the kitchen, you need ice on that eye. Shit, he really fucking cracked you, it’s starting to swell.” He followed along after her, his ribs groaning in pain as he twisted slightly, EZ thinking himself lucky they weren’t broken, with how many body blows he’d taken. He knew what fractures felt like, and this wasn’t it.  

“I’m really sorry to just turn up like this, especially after cancelling,” he revealed, and for once, it was the actual truth. His arrival at her home had nothing to do with him being manipulative. He sought her out because he felt like shit, and she always made him feel better. It was that simple.  

“No, baby it’s alright. I get it, I get it. Hang on.” Going to the freezer, she pulled out the ice cube tray, taking a clean towel from the drawer and up ending the tray onto it, giving it a good, sharp bash against the counter. Bringing up the sides, she knotted them together, handing it to him, stunned at the way he was smiling at her. “What’s with the grin?”

Taking the towel, he rested it against his eye, leaning down to kiss her. “You just called me baby for the first time. You’re so cute.”  

“You get the stuffing almost knocked all the way out of you, and you can still smile,” she began, softly shaking her head. “I’d be a mess in a corner somewhere.” She found it wild, that he wasn’t more affected by it, wondering how usual an occurrence it was within his world. Taking some cotton and antiseptic out from the cupboard, she went about swabbing his cuts, EZ not quite as happy then, grumbling at the sting. “Well, if you’re going to ruck, Ezekiel.” She whispered softly at a particularly deep rumble, swiping the cotton over his split eyebrow.

“I know, I know.” He leaned down, kissing the tip of her nose. “Mind if I take a shower?”

“Not at all. Get those clothes off too and I’ll wash them. I even have stuff you can borrow. My brother leaves clothes here for when he comes to stay, usually when mom is being, well, mom.”

“With the cleaning fits?” He’d remembered her telling him about those, how Marge Smith could get while under the duress of needing to deep clean her entire home. Even carpet steamers were hired, her younger brother Corey always seeking refuge from it with his favourite sister.  

She widened her eyes. “Oh yeah. Dad dropped by last week and revealed he’d had to talk her down from a set of stepladders while she tried to clean moss off the roof with a broom.”  

He laughed, taking off his t shirt and handing it to her, his chest a mess of welts and scratches. Not all of them were inflicted by Angel, but EZ thought it was lucky he could pass off Dina’s nail grazes as such, although much to his surprise, he felt a small knot of guilt twist in his stomach when Camille took them in, kissing the ones that lead down to his abs. “Full on Marge madness, huh?”

Marge madness is what everyone in the Smith family coined it, Camille again touched that he’d remembered it when she’d probably only used the expression once in passing when describing her beloved mother. “Oh yeah. He got her down and went up there himself after getting her settled with a glass of wine and an episode of Real Housewives of somewhere or another.” Entertained by the visual he had in his head, he removed the rest of his clothes, heading through to the bathroom, Camille giving him a little butt smack on the way.  

While he was showering, she threw his clothes into the machine along with a few of her items that had been waiting in there for a larger load to accumulate, switching it on and going back out to the kitchen to put the coffee machine on before going to her spare bedroom, pulling out a pair of dark grey sweats and a black vest. The sweats would fit no problem, Corey and EZ were roughly the same height, but the vest she knew might be a struggle, EZ with a wide chest and Corey quite skinny still. Rethinking her decision, she rifled through the drawer and chose a relatively loose-fitting t shirt, leaving the clothes outside of the bathroom and calling to him that they were placed there.  

“Thanks, mamas,” he called back from beneath the water. “You take good care of me.”

“Someone has to,” she snickered, heading back to pour the drinks before curling up on the couch, EZ joining her a mere few minutes later. The t shirt she thought was oversized? He filled it completely, the sleeves straining under the bulk of his biceps. “So, do you want to talk about it, what led to you and Angel having a scuffle?”

He took a sip of his coffee before replying. “Not really, no. Let’s just say it’s been building for a while, though, and leave it there. It’ll be better now, I think, now he’s got a few swings in at me.” He shifted around, trying to get comfortable, his back tightening. He’d likely pulled something, whether from the fight or the two hours of beast mode sex with Dina prior to it, he didn’t know. He knew it hurt, though, pinching away as pain shot up and down his shoulder blade. Camille picked up on it, gesturing with her hands for him to sit forward.

“Oh my god, EZ,” she exclaimed softly, her fingers pressing into the muscles in his shoulder and back. “The tension you have gathered here is insane. No wonder you’re uncomfortable. Come on, you’re in the right hands with me. I’m giving you a massage.”  

He didn’t need to be offered such twice. Ten minutes later and he was lying face down on her bed, Camille astride his thighs, working all the tension from his back with oiled up hands. God, it felt so good, although a little painful as she worked at the knots.  

“You’ve had this for years, this is really deeply built-up tension, so it might take a while before they begin to give,” she explained, the knots cracking against her fingers, the muscles warming to the manipulation, slightly starting to yield.  

“I’ll give you about a week to stop.” He sounded very blissed out, Camille beginning to work her hands lower, incorporating her forearms too, EZ making soft sounds of appreciation. She moved between offering feel good therapy and knot pummelling, alternating so he wasn’t at the mercy of a practice she knew was painful, her own back suffering the same from her dancing, having her boss Trudi give her a weekly massage in order to keep her own knots of tension at bay.  

“How’s that feeling now?” she asked a time later, his back considerably loosened up compared to how it had been when she started.  

“It’s weird,” he rumbled through a chuckle. “Half of me is all relaxed and sleepy, but I’m not going to lie. I’m horny as fuck, too.”  

She giggled at his statement, neither a surprise. After a massage, she was always in the mood for either sleep or sex, too. “And which desire is winning?”

“Sleep, I think.”  

They decided to go to bed early, Camille happy that she wasn’t in at the salon until midday, so she got to have a little lie in. Whether or not it would be with EZ was a different question, though. After going to put the washing into the dryer, she curled up with him, his bulk a warm blanket that surrounded her, falling asleep quickly.  

He woke before her, as always, his mind telling him to grab his clothes and go, just like he always did. Another part of him, though, it eventually coaxed him into remaining right where he was, when he realised that by her side was the one place he actually wanted to be.  

When Camille awoke at just gone 9am, she was pleased to reach into the space next to her and find him still there by her side, EZ pulling her close, kissing her head as she rested it on his chest. He felt content, like being straight with her could be enough for him, his need for control pushed down, not bothering him for that moment. It felt nice.  

It would, however, rise from the shadows again once more. It was inevitable, and this he knew.  

[neo-shitty]

hope you dont mind me popping in to your inbox to scream abt whc1 bc you are truly the only person out of my friend circle that has watched it 😭😭 first of all

facts. he can do no wrong.

second of all its been days and i am still processing like this has never happened to me before ?? usually i am a lil :// until the rest of the day when i finish a sad drama but with this im just so heartbroken still. yesterday during a big mental breakdown (unrelated to the drama i am not THAT crazy ok) i realised why it hit me so hard and i think its bc i somehow relate to sieun (anger issues and all /j) and so i somehow projected into his character and so when it all went down with suho i just couldnt deal w it ?? I LEGIT HAD A MINI PANIC ATTACK it felt like it was happening to me 😭😭😭 like he was such comfort for me. he broke the cycle of loneliness and stereotype for sieun and i just really adored each interaction they had. the fact that they would both kill and die for each other makes me bawl my eyes out.

but when it all comes down to it, i understand beomseok, i really do, but i also dont. i dont think ill ever forgive that character, i just cant. i cant imagine how it must have felt for him and i couldnt be able to deal w life either if i was in his shoes, but my brain just cant grasp the lengths he went to hurt people that did nothing but care for him and tried to help him with everything. he's a complex character for sure, one you have to analyze to get, but i dont have it in me to have a single ounce of sympathy after the ending of the drama.

but to think that the parents and the adults were truly at fault here ?? beomseok being abused, sieun abandoned and neglected, suho not really having parents around either (i read somewhere that they are canonically abroad or something?? not too sure), the policemen not taking sieun seriously at first, the teachers seeing the shit happening and not doing anything to stop the bullying... where were everyones parents when all those kids got caught up w the gang? its truly sickening and heartbreaking to think that this truly could be happening anywhere and to anyone.

and it broke me so much bc i could accept beomseok drifting away from them and stuff, but to gang up on suho on his fucking birthday? sieun cooking and decorating with young yi and taking pics for her insta (i strongly believe her and sieuns friendship is SO underrated they were so cute together) and both of them just hid it from everyone to protect suho,, their sunshine ??? the poor boy must have been so confused and lonely on his bday and it makes me :( and then when he saw sieuns cast and went to avenge him ?? I read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.

also i find it funny how i found the drama through a clip on tiktok where jihoon cried at watching the last scene where sieun breaks the window and i was like oh this should be just the right amount of sad for me rn and then i got emotionally damaged. :,)

yeah anyways my fav trope is found family and FUCK all of those who hurt my sunshine bc now im forever heartbroken.

sorry for the rant toffee but it did felt cathartic to write this all out

bar, please don't worry about it. feel free to come back any time you have to yell about it and i'll try to get back to you as soon as i can.

sooho was just too easy to love. we headed into that show blind HAHA we should've known it was too good to be true! i never saw it coming actually.

same !! took me days to get over this too. *hugs* i'm sorry about the mental breakdown, i hope you're feeling a bit better now !! oh the projection must've made the whole thing twice as hard. again, sooho was such a comfort character :( his happy go lucky nature was such a breath of fresh air esp when the themes occasionally got dark. i want that dynamic for me actually (to kill and die for each other, yes). i usually find it corny but it was so well executed here.

oh bumseok :( i think it's valid to simultaneously understand him but at the same time, find what he did unforgivable. i get where he was coming from and how he was just looking for a place to fit in—where he wasn't looked down on. idk how to describe it but when he started misreading the situation (like that whole bit abt sooho not following him on ig but following young yi), i think something in him snapped. he was so fed up with being helpless at home and at his previous school that when it happened a third time, he did everything to get back and lashed out.

I 100% BELIEVE THE ADULTS WERE ABSOLUTE SHITTIEST NEGLIGENT FUCKERS AROUND. like???? leaving a scamming syndicate to be dealt with by high schoolers?????? bumseok's fake ass politician dad??????? sure, sieun's parents were 'present' but emotionally distant, like check on your kids bitches or not have them at all god dAMN. i thought some of the aspects of the bullying were exaggerated bc from where i'm from it never gets that bad but hearing that to an extent, it was truthful about it just left me dumbfounded. how could parents allow things like this to happen under the radar? it's unbelievable and heartbreaking to me.

yeah, i thought bumseok would just join his cool boy squad but he really had to do whatever the fuck he did :D my girl, i know you read my tags and i was vile as fuck towards him but at the time i was just so angry too. also yes! youngyi and sieun's friendship <3 i wish they had more time </3 and honestly, if bumseok didn't do a whole 180, i think the four of them would make such a cute squad. like the way they would protect each other??? hmp :/

'i read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.' i saw that the other day and that broke me to fucking hell i could sell anyone's soul to see them together again (SPECIFICALLY, with the other one being fine and out of comatose yes i would love that for me.

ohhh, i've been meaning to watch that vid of them reacting to whc1 but at the time it didn't have subs. jihoon's acting was so fucking effective like??? the sadness the eyes of that man has can sway me to do anything !! so sorry that you got so much more than just a little sad bout. heading into this drama blind was like bringing a knife to a whole war.

this show made me realize that tragedy could strike any pairing on any show and i wouldn't bat an eye but have the same happen to a found family and then i'm instantly destroyed. THE SHOW ACTUALLY REMINDED ME OF YOUR CHENJI FIC????? FUCK. please do let me know if you ever get around to writing something related to them haha i'm ready to be destroyed.

please do not ever apologize for ranting especially about this show !! i went through this whole phase ALONE last year (watching it after christmas was the biggest mistake, i ended my year DEPRESSED as FUCK) so i'm offering as much help as i can.

[snoopdoodle]

OMG!! Snoop, it was amazing! I’m a little sad that, I didn’t find about you until now. Your writing is so great! And are your request open or are you not taking request right now because of the collaborative. (It’s ok if there not)You can make a part 2 of Ranboo dad Reader. 🏳️‍🌈 Anarchy [I say this with all of my favorite authors, but if I’m bothering you tell me please tell me]

Ahh!! Anarchy the beloved!! Of course you can have a part 2!! The link for part 1 is right below !! Also, if I had spaced this out like I was taught in english, this would be hella long-

FIRST PART \\ THRID PART

--------

Dad, but not // pt. 2

platonic!ranboo x male!reader, platonic!benchtrio x male!reader

pronouns: he/him

summary: kinda angsty second part to my story

------------

You cackled in the background as your son was blown up by a creeper. Your laugh was contagious as Tubbo started laughing with you. You slapped your knee from laughing so much. Tubbo tried to stand up, but he fell, which made you all laugh harder. “Don’t get an aneurysm, dad,” Ranboo told, and this just made you suffocate more. “Holy sh-i-i-i-t, hehe..” you spoke between laughter. “‘Don’t get an aneurysm’- heh-HEH” You tried to quote, but it just turned into a coughing/laughing fit. You groaned as your throat felt sore. “Dad, please don’t die,” Your son worried, and you pat his shoulder. “Not dying any time soon,” You started, your smile kind of turning forced.

You’d yet to tell the boys, Ranboo and his friends, that you would be leaving soon. You were happy and upset. You were only in England to do work. You could rent out a place here and leave it to one of your English friends who works in England as well. Maybe you could just buy a house here… no that would cost too much- “DAD! Are you ok? You’re zoning out.” Ranboo asked. You hadn’t realized it yet, but you had been ignoring Ranboo speaking to you. When Tubbo tried, you didn’t even reply. The both of them and chat had started to get worried. Ranboo ended up grabbing your shoulders and shaking them a few times.

“Y-yeah, I-I-I’m ok boys, I think I need to sit down for a second,” you informed. Now they were even more worried. You sat down on the couch and put your face in your hands. You had a killer headache. ‘I’m overworking myself.’ you thought, annoyed. You had asked your boss for a break multiple times, but he hadn’t responded. You thought about it for another second before deciding. You would skip a few days of work, hang out with the boys, then you would tell them. Or you’d tell them, then have your fun day…. days. Telling them after seems better. “Alrighty, I think we’re gonna end stream now, folks! Have a good day, bye!” Ranboo spoke. That was what snapped you out of your ideas.

Ranboo turned to you and sadly smiled. “You doing ok, pops?” He asked, He rarely used that name for you. Of course, you felt bad. You stood up, ignoring the sharp pain that came to your head. “Don’t worry about be kiddo… and I’m sorry for making you worry. I was thinking of stuff,” You answered, smiling as you felt Ranboo un-tense and lean into the hug. Tubbo huffed and walked into the hug as well. You moved your arm so it was wrapped around both of the boys. “By the way, Tubbo, do you have any Tylenol… or Aspirin?” You asked, ruining the mood, but making the 2 laugh.

“Yeah, we do. I’ll go get you some,” He spoke as he left the hug. Ranboo let go so Tubbo could get you some meds for your headache. Ranboo smiled, asking you s question. “So, what were you thinking of that had you so…” He stopped, as he couldn’t think of the word. “Disassociated?” You replied, “Yeah, I was thinking we could do something together. Me, you, Tommy, Tubbo, and maybe someone else if you want to invite someone.” You informed. Ranboo’s smile widened and he nodded his head. “Y-yeah! That sounds awesome!” He grinned. He hadn’t taken off his mask or glasses, but you could feel the happiness radiating off him.

“Ok, ok, kid. Let me get it planned, alright?” You spoke, chuckling. You had ford a smile onto your face as Tubbo came back into the room. He handed you the meds and a glass of water. You nodded a silent ‘ thank you ‘ to him. Ranboo grabbed Tubbo’s hand and dragged him to watch a movie. “You coming, dad?” he asked, you shook your head no and pointed to your phone and he gave a look of understanding. You walked outside and took note of the stormy clouds. You dialed the number and gave a smile when she answered. “Hey, Kristin,” you greeted into the phone. You smiled as she gave a polite hello back. “I need to ask you something,” you started. “Hm?” She hummed. You could hear her cooking in the background.

“I have to tell the boys that I’m goin’ back home soo, and I don’t know how..” You ranted, frowning into the phone. You heard a creak and turned around. The door was open. “Hm?” You questioned. You closed that door, didn’t you? Oh well. You walked back to the door and shut it firmly. “Well, I’d say you just flat out tell them. You should see how they take it, and then do something with them,” You laughed into the phone and shook your head. “That was my plan already!” You exclaimed with a grin. She laughed into the phone and you could hear her tap the counter. “Well I say you just go with your plan,” She told you. You grinned and nodded.

“Alrighty then, have a good day, Kristin,” you chuckled. “You too, [Name],” She told before hanging up. You held the phone, taking a deep breath. You walked back to the door, opening it softly and stepping inside. You could hear the thunder roar from outside so you were lucky to make it in soon enough. You walked through the halls. You heard a sniff and you stopped. “Hello?” You asked before stepping into the living room. Ranboo tuned to you and you could see his puffy eyes. “Are you really going back home soon?” He asked. Your eyes went wide and you sighed, putting your head down. You nodded to him and he sniffed again.

You walked back to the boy and pat his back. Tubbo sighed and put his head down, starting to tear up as well. He enjoyed having you here as much as Ranboo did. “I-Is that why you wanted to have a fun day?” He questioned and you nodded. “I was actually thinking of how I could stay longer.” Ranboo and Tubbo’s eyes widened as they listened to your explanation. “I want to stay longer, I really do kid. My company had only paid the hotel for the 2-week stay I have, so I couldn’t stay longer than that,” You told them with a frown. You sighed again and put your head into your arms.

“I’m sorry. Let’s just have a fun day together. You can invite that Tommy kid, if your parents’ll allow it Tubbo,” You sadly chuckled. Ranboo and Tubbo smiled at how you were trying to make things better. Ranboo called Tommy as Tubbo called his parents. Tubbo and Tommy’s parents agreed, so he walked on over. You all decided to have a sleepover-type thing. Tommy would stay over for the next 4 days that you are over. You all would stream, cook, vlog, and watch a couple movies. This should be fun. The first day you all hung out, you decided to do a cooking stream. You made a great bowl of pasta… besides the fact that Tommy spilled the sauce multiple times and Ranboo dropped the pasta noodles, breaking them into bits.

The second day, You all streamed a ‘you laugh, you lose’ stream. You didn’t laugh once, although you were very close. People had found it funny when you clapped to the song “Two Trucks” on beat. Ranboo’s hand had flown to his mouth, Tubbo had busted out laughing, and it took Tommy a seconds since he didn’t know what the song was. Chat had busted out laughing, and you only knew to do that because of how many times you had heard it from Ranboo. The other funny part was when someone donated a clip from the song “WAP”, and you had sung it word for word. Yeah… you successfully made the boys lose 2 lives… each.

On the third day, you all didn’t stream, but instead watched a movie. You decided to watch the Toy Story saga. All of you cried since you are all children. On the fourth day, you all went to a Halloween store that had opened early and vlogged there. It was all fun and games… till you all got kicked out cause, out of surprise and fear, you punched (and broke) one of the animatronics. The vlog was about 20 minutes long, so you thought it was pretty successful. Although, in the end, since you had run out of footage, you decided to do some small clips of you telling stories from America before your met Ranboo’s family.

And then you had the last day, today. Tomorrow you’d be going home. It was about 2 in the morning as you layed down. Captain America was playing in the background as the boys slept. Ranboo was cuddled up to your side, as was Tubbo. Tommy, however, was resting on the other side of the couch. Earlier in the night, he claimed that he didn’t need affection, but you knew he just didn’t want to get ‘picked on’ by Ranboo and Tubbo. You smiled as the boys shifted in their hold. Yeah, you’d miss them like hell. But hey, you just had the best 5 days of your life and, honest;y, you think you might be coming back soon.

[yukidragon]

Our Life Snippit - Fish and Flirting

Soooo... who’s ready to read another clip of the first draft for my Our Life: Beginnings & Always fanfic novelization? This time, let’s take a slice of Step 2's moment, Dinner.

I’d like to thank everyone for enjoying my writing. All of your likes, reblogs, and comments are the fuel that drives me to share more of it here. I’m thankful for the feedback my fellow fans of the game and especially its creators @gb-patch! You are all just so sweet. Thank you!

...

The crunch of sand against the mat beneath her sandals was a familiar welcome for Jamie as she entered his bedroom. Cove didn’t care if he brought a little bit of the beach home after every visit there. Cliff never scolded him for it like her moms would if she adopted such a lackadaisical attitude. This left sand to accumulate all over his personal space, but he never minded.

That was just how Cove was - a little bit of a mess.

Cove didn’t waste time getting comfortable, taking a seat on the edge of his extra large bed. “You can sit wherever you want.”

There weren’t actually all that many options. The desk chair was the obvious choice, as it was the only place to sit besides the bed, but Cove rarely used it for that purpose despite claiming her desk chair as his preferred spot whenever they hung out in her room. Jamie knew from experience that his chair was nowhere near as comfortable as hers, and it had a squeak to it that set her teeth on edge. She could deal with a stiff chair, but the noise it made ensured that the first time she sat in it was also the last.

This meant that the only options left were to stand, sit on the sandy floor, or…

Jamie fought to keep the mischief on her mind from showing on her face. Well, Cove did say that she could sit wherever she wanted.

Although Cove had hoped Jamie would take his offer as an invitation to sit on his bed with him, he was shocked that she took a seat right beside him. She was so close he felt her knee briefly brush against his as she made herself comfortable, all the while flashing him a cheerful smile that sent his heart pounding. He had hoped she would sit close to him; he just didn’t expect she would sit this close.

Not that Cove was complaining.

Jamie noticed Cove tense up, his back going stiff as he ducked his head away. It reminded her of how he would react whenever she hugged him, especially when he began to blush and tried to hide the way his lips curled into a trembling smile.

“Oh my God,” Cove whispered under his breath. The words slipped out of him without realizing, spoken so softly that Jamie might not have heard it if she wasn’t sitting right next to him.

The reaction thrilled Jamie, and she couldn’t stop herself from beaming at Cove. He was just too cute!

Cove noticed the shift in Jamie’s expression out of the corner of his eye. With how close they were, it was impossible not to notice each other’s every move. He couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at her, wondering why she seemed so happy all of a sudden.

Jamie noticed the silent question in his eyes. Before she could seriously consider playing coy, her real feelings came bubbling out. “You’re adorable!”

The compliment, delivered with such enthusiasm, seemed to come right out of nowhere for Cove. He stiffened again, his eyes flying open wide as his mouth hung open in shock. “I… what?”

Jamie watched as the blush deepen on Cove’s face before spreading to the tips of his ears and all the way down his neck. He wasn’t the only one blushing, as her cheeks grew rather hot as well, but since she already said it… “You’re adorable,” she repeated, trying to look and sound much more confident than she felt.

That got Cove’s mouth trembling again. It was a wonder how he could still look Jamie in the eye with how much his insides were fluttering. He gripped the blanket underneath him, feeling like he might just fall off the bed with how weak his knees were at that moment. “I’m not. That’s…”

It was almost too much for Cove to take. How could Jamie say stuff like that to him so easily? It wasn’t fair how easy it was for her to send his heart into overdrive and turn his mind into mush.

Cove shifted nervously in place as he scrambled to get his mind working again. Jamie was flirting with him, right? She had to be. Unless he was mistaken. Then again, this happened often enough that it couldn’t be all his imagination, right? Except this was Jamie - she was nice to everyone. Of course, she was nicest to him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t reading too much into things.

Should he flirt back? What would he say? What could he say? Should he call her cute? Jamie was definitely cute, and nice, and thoughtful, and fantastic and…

But what if that made things weird? If Jamie was just being nice and not thinking too much about this stuff, Cove might make things awkward. And if things got uncomfortable between them…

It was all too much for Cove. He did the only thing he could do - he fled the subject of romance completely.

“Did you see my fish?” Cove blurted out, latching onto the first non-romance-related topic to pop into his head. “I’ve got some. In a tank. Right there.” He threw both arms out in front of him in an almost desperate gesture to direct Jamie’s attention away from him to something else far safer with less world-shattering ramifications.

As happy as Jamie was to make Cove so flustered, she could see she had overwhelmed him. She wanted to drop hints about how she felt about him, not make him uncomfortable. Despite how poor the change in topic was, she granted him mercy and allowed it.

Cove bit back a sigh of relief when Jamie directed her gaze away from him. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on getting his rapidly beating heart back under control. At the same time, he couldn’t help but feel just a little disappointed with himself.

The fish in the tank were fairly varied, all of them bright and colorful. The way Cove had so dramatically pointed them out, one might think that Jamie had never seen them before. She knew that Cliff had gifted him the tank and pets not long after the father and son first moved to Sunset Bird.

Fondly, Jamie recalled the excitement that always shone in his eyes whenever Cove proudly introduced her to his newest pet. He always made sure she was the first to know, and it always made her feel special.

Jamie was also always the first one Cove went to whenever a fish unfortunately passed on. Those occasions broke her heart to see him so sad, and she did whatever she could to comfort him. Despite the sad memory, a small smile tugged at her lips as she recalled how she had come up with the idea of giving the fish funerals, and she officiated over them as best as her childish self could without having any real experience with funerals prior. As sad as they were, they did help her best friend heal from the loss.

Returning her focus to the tank, Jamie inspected it and its occupants with increasing interest. Although she had no experience having pets of her own, she had learned what it took to take care of fish from listening to Cove talk about his pets. She helped him out wherever she could as well, be it with checking to make sure the tank’s thermometer was accurate by comparing its reading with one her moms owned or looking up information he struggled to find by himself.

Cove was very serious about the care of his pets, and it showed. The fish were healthy and energetic as they swam through the crystal clear water.

The smaller fish zipping about were interesting, but Jamie found her eye drawn to the especially big one because of its dazzling multicolored scales. A thought suddenly occurred to her, and she felt dumb for never asking a very simple question before. “What are their names?”

Although the question was innocent enough, Cove found himself growing a bit bashful. “I don’t name them,” he admitted. “Well, not really.” At seeing Jamie direct a raised eyebrow at him, he gave her a lopsided smile. “I mean… Mostly, I just call them things based on what they look like. ‘Squirt’ for a small one, ‘Tangerine’ for a really orange one. That sort of thing.” He let out an awkward chuckle. “I’ve had a lot of fish, and I’m not that good at coming up with names…”

The answer tickled Jamie. She hadn’t known about that little weakness of his. It was always such a nice surprise whenever she learned about a new side of Cove that she had never noticed before.

“Oh,” Cove said, as a thought occurred to him. “A couple of them have other types of names.” He pointed towards a small orange-red fish. It was off on its own away from its tankmates. “My dad named her Dreamcatcher.” He paused for a moment before pointing at a more yellowish fish that just darted out of the fake log. “And that other one’s Mark. Mom came up with that one.”

Jamie focused on the two particular fish before turning back to Cove. He was still looking at his pets with a more relaxed smile on his face. For a moment she just admired how the glow from the tank reflected in his eyes before snapping her focus back onto the conversation. “You let other people name your fish?”

“Yeah,” Cove said happily. “It’s nice.” He then turned to Jamie as an idea popped into his head. He tilted his head to the side, considering the thought for a moment before deciding to go ahead with it. “Do you wanna name one?”

Jamie’s eyes lit up at the offer. “Yeah I do!”

Cove’s smile grew a little at her enthusiasm. “Cool. There’s a few who don’t have names right now, the newer ones. You can pick which you wanna name.”

Jamie waited until Cove pointed out each of her options. The first fish was the smallest in the tank. It was orange all over and zipped around the tank so fast that it was lapping the others. The second was red and just slightly bigger, with a tail dotted by black spots almost like freckles. The last fish was the largest one in the tank that had caught her eye earlier. Its multicolored scales practically glittered under the bright light of the large tank as it slowly glided through the water.

It was an easy choice for Jamie to make. “The biggest fish.”

Cove nodded, a little amused, as he waited for Jamie to decide on a name. He had a feeling that would be the one she would pick. She did like rainbows after all, and that particular fish was practically a living rainbow.

Jamie squinted at the tank, hamming up an exaggerated show of taking this sacred duty of naming a pet fish seriously as she stroked her chin and let out a low hum. She was rewarded for her theatrics when Cove noticed and let out a chuckle. She barely kept herself from grinning or doing more than glimpsing at him out of the corner of her eye as she tried her best not to break character.

Eventually, Jamie straightened up and turned to Cove, maintaining her solemn expression the entire time. “Gil.”

Cove couldn’t help but laugh unreservedly at not only her choice, but her antics as well.

Finally, Jamie broke character and allowed herself to smile and enjoy how she made Cove laugh. The affectionate sound was music to her ears.

“I could’ve come up with that,” Cove chuckled.

“Well, it was the second name to pop into my head,” Jamie said almost a little too innocently.

Cove caught on that Jamie wasn’t quite done with the bit yet and raised his eyebrow, playing along. “Oh yeah? What was the first one?”

“Cove,” Jamie announced, grinning.

With that, Cove broke into another round of laughter. “What? You thought about naming it after me?”

Jamie shrugged, doing her best to appear casual. “A little bit, but I couldn’t help it; your name is always the first one to come to my mind.”

Heat bloomed in Cove’s cheeks as his laughter turned bashful and trailed off. He was pretty sure Jamie wasn’t flirting with him this time and was merely joking around, but it still felt a little too good to hear her say something like that. “I-is it? Oh, well… uh…”

Jamie gave Cove a moment, feeling satisfied that her attempt at flirting got such a positive reaction. Those tips from Lee were paying off.

When Cove shook off the flustered feelings, he gave Jamie a bent smile. “Alright, it’s Gil.”

[mammonshuman92]

- Watched -

Mammon & GN!MC

** TW: Stalking, cussing, religion (ish? I guess?)

| part two | | part three |

It’s been nearly 6 months since you left the Devildom. You picked up where you had left off in the human world: college, work, home, repeat. Sure, you missed your family while you were away, but now your heart aches almost constantly for the new family you loved so much, that you had to leave behind. (Not that you really had a choice in the matter.)

 As much as it hurt to leave the brothers, Diavolo was right. Establishing harmony and unity with the three realms won’t go over too well if one of the human representatives doesn’t go back to the human world, now will it? Still, it sucks. Life is so boring without all of them.

And quiet.

It’s not like you don’t talk though. Yeah, Diavolo has that rule in place where they have to take turns talking to you because “human’s lives are short” and they were “taking up too much of your time”, but that’s not really going to stop them, is it?

Well kinda, actually.

You can’t really argue with a direct order from the demon lord, after all.

-

Is it Asmo's day to call? You thought to yourself, trying to remember (not that you ever could) the schedule Lucifer came up with. Your own schedule was hard enough to remember.

You had been picking up extra shifts at work and staying late to study at school when you could. Finding any reason to stay busy or get out of the house. The deafening silence was too much to bear.

"I wonder when I can go visit? I should call Diavolo.." you said to yourself quietly.

You were walking home from your shift at the coffee shop near campus. The sun was just starting to set and the air was slightly crisp, causing you to pull your jacket a little tighter.

If it weren't for the brilliant pinks and warm oranges cast on the sky by the setting sun, it would've felt like a regular night in the Devildom. Memories of your last few days spent there came flooding back, bringing the sadness along with them.

In just one year, you had gotten so close to everyone, but you had gotten especially close to Mammon. He was responsible for you in the beginning of course, but the connection was undeniable (no matter how much he did deny it). He was a total simp for you, and you for him. It was rather cringey to everyone else. He could be a handful at times, but that tsundere really is a great boyfriend. Leaving him behind was... well, there's no words for it.

Rounding the corner, you could see your house perfectly. Now that the sun had gone down a bit more, it was getting darker and you were suddenly thankful that you remembered to turn on the porch light before you left.

You pulled your keys from your jacket pocket while climbing the few steps to your front door, and something caught your eye. Your stomach dropped.

Not again..

You plucked the folded piece of paper that was stuck in the screen door and quickly made your way inside, locking the door behind you.With a heavy sigh, you tossed your keys on the table by the door and dropped your bag on the floor beside you. You immediately went to shower and change not giving the paper a second thought.

Not everyone in the human world agreed with the Devildom exchange student program. After you and Solomon had arrived in the Devildom, there were numerous protests by a group much like the Westboro lunatics. They were without a doubt against the program and called for it’s immediate termination. Thankfully, their personal hatred was no match for the opportunity for the realms to find peace.

 When you had returned, you noticed people whispering about you, calling you names and giving you dirty looks. You've even received quite a few pieces of hate mail. Granted, the people opposed to the program were very small in numbers, even if it didn’t seem that way. It didn't bother you though. Demons ended up being some of the most important people to you. Not to mention you were kinda in love with one of them. People could say what they wanted about the Devildom and about you, their words didn't bother you.

You were still towel drying your hair when your phone rang. Tossing the towel, you rushed to the living room to fish it out of your bag, Asmo's face popping up on the caller ID. You were right, it was Asmo’s night. You were secretly hoping it was a certain greedy demon’s turn to call (not that he doesn’t text you almost constantly.)

Asmo was the same as usual. Talking animatedly about this and that, gushing over new beauty products and outfits, filling you in on all the gossip you were missing. While he was rambling, your eyes fell onto the paper that was in your door. Might as well look at the newest piece of hate mail, right? 

You began unfolding the paper, quickly giving Asmo an “omg!” about the gossip he was dishing (even though you hadn’t been paying attention.)

Upon seeing the contents, all the color drained from your face. You were sure your heart sank into your stomach, but you could hear the rapid beating in your ears. You suddenly felt hot, and the air around you seemed thick.

Then the adrenaline kicked in.

With shaky hands, you quickly checked the front door making sure it was locked, and headed to the back door to do the same. You rushed around checking the windows and pulling all the curtains closed. Everything seemed fine, nothing out of the ordinary. Still, that didn’t settle your nerves any.

“MC, dear? Did you hear me?” The sound of Asmo’s voice brought you out of your frantic state.

“Huh? S-sorry Asmo. I guess I s-spaced out.” You tried your best to keep your tone normal and steady your breathing, as to not alert him to anything. You really should give him more credit, though.

“MC? Is everything alright?” His tone was different, no longer playful and flirty. You could hear the concern.

Shit.

“Yeah, I’m fine. More hate mail is all. No biggie.” You lied. Maybe he would believe it..

There was a pause on his end, “You’re STILL getting it? Don’t they have anything better to do?” Good, he bought it. For now, anyway.

After about 10 more minutes Asmo said his goodbyes, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

This piece hate mail turned out to be something much worse than the run of the mill stuff you usually received. Inside there were pictures. Of you. At work, at school, the grocery store, ...outside your house. There was also a newspaper clipping that had a picture of you and your family, from when your parents first opened their bakery a few years back. There were red ‘Xs’ marked through everyone’s faces...

The only words scrawled inside read, “I’ve been watching you. You will pay for what you’ve done, whore. And don’t even think about telling your demon fuck buddies. I know everything about you and your family. It’d be a shame if anything happened to poor old Mom and Dad because their child is an unholy slut.”

You read it over and over, tears streaking your cheeks. Hate mail was nothing new, but now this? A stalker? 

Maybe I’m just over thinking it. The other hate mail was spicy too. But these pictures... There is NO way I’m over thinking this..

“Regardless, I can’t tell the brothers.” You shuddered at what their reaction would be like. It would definitely make all of Diavolo’s hard work on the exchange program obsolete. It wouldn’t be good for any of the three realms. There was still a long way to go, but the program was a giant step in the right direction to obtaining peace and understanding. If dealing with some backlash and hate mail could help get closer to that goal, then for the sake of the greater could, you could handle it.

“For now, I will bear this burden myself.”

- {3 weeks later} -

“Are you okay?”

The simple question nearly made you squeak and nearly jump out of your skin. You turn and meet the worried gaze of your lab partner. You weren’t super close with her, so you knew your current state had to be bad if she was picking up on it.

God, do I really look that bad? You got a good look at yourself this morning, and yeah, you absolutely look that bad. But then again, you haven’t really slept in a few weeks. You had gigantic purple eye bags, your hair looked like a family of birds took up residence in it. Your skin was pale and lifeless, and you began skin picking at your nails due to the anxiety. You’d even lost about twenty pounds.

“Sorry, I guess I was spacing out.”

“It’s alright. It’s just- no offense, but you look awful. Have you been sleeping?” She asked, eyes scanning your face.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Promise.” You lied. She nodded and gave you a weak smile, dropping the subject for now.

You hadn’t really been paying attention to class today. Well, for the last several days, really. You’ve been putting in less effort for a lot of things lately. You’ve been slacking off bad at school and barely keeping up at work. Not to mention you never sleep anymore. How can you though?

You left class early and although it was still early in the day, you decided to skip the rest of your lectures for the day. You’ve always been a fantastic student, so taking a day off wouldn’t really hurt anything. And seeing as today was Thursday, you didn’t even have work today. Same as every week.

 Upon arriving home, you were relieved to see that there weren’t any notes left for you. Yet, anyway.

Ever since the first letter a few weeks ago, they’ve been showing up constantly. Only a few times the first week or so, but now you get at least one every single day. They’re also increasing in severity. The sender seems to be becoming more and more unhinged with every passing day.

“Dirty demon whore!!”

“You’re a HUMAN!! How dare you taint your body with demons!”

“I will cleanse you and make you pure again.”

There was so, so much more. All of it growing more and more explicit with each letter.

The whole thing was taking a huge tool on you, but what could you do? Your family’s safety was on the line. You so badly wanted to tell Mammon of even the cops, but you couldn’t live with yourself if anything bad were to happen. Whatever this psycho had planned, you would gladly put yourself in the line of fire to save those closest to you.

The whole situation has also affected your relationship with Mammon and the rest of the brothers as well. At first, you tried to hide what was happening, but they started getting suspicious and asking questions. Always wondering why you sounded so tired and why you kept cutting their phone calls super short. You always rejected their face time requests, knowing that your drastic change in appearance would be alarming and alert them that something was wrong. Lately, you’ve barely talked to any of them. Especially Mammon. He’d be the first to figure out something was wrong with you and come here ready to fight.

That honestly didn’t sound too bad. You wanted nothing more than for him to hold you while you ugly cried. Breathing in his scent while he rubbed soothing circles on your back.

Your heart started to ache.

-

When you got home you decided to take a nice, hot shower to hopefully help ease some of your tension and possibly begin to get a handle on your quickly deteriorating self care status.

Once you felt somewhat normal again, you put on your comfiest pj’s (which included one of Mammon’s shirts) and plopped yourself on your bed in the fetal position. It was the only thing that kinda helped ease a tiny bit of the feeling that everything was spiraling out of control. The warm scent of your most favorite demon helped calm you.

*bzzz* *bzzz* *bzzz*

Damn. I almost fell asleep..

You sat up, rubbing your eyes and reached for your D.D.D. on your nightstand. The called ID made your heart rate accelerate and your palms sweaty.

It’s him.

“Mammon..? I thought it was Beel’s turn to call?”

“I don’t care about Lucifer’s stupid schedule. I need to talk to ya.” His tone made him sound like he was on edge.

“Oh, ok. What’s up?”

He scoffed, “Really? You’ve barely messaged me back in three days. The last time I called, ya hung up after five minutes.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy.” Every lie helps break your heart just a little more. 

“You’ve never been too busy before. Besides, shouldn’t ya be in a class right now or somethin’? It ain’t even noon.”

“I left class early and I’m skipping the rest of the day.” You explained.

“..Hmm.” He replied, you could detect suspicion in his response.

It was quiet on his end for a moment.

“MC?”

“Yeah?”

“..Do ya got another boyfriend? Cause The Great Mammon is definitely better! And-and, I’ll kick their ass!”

“What? Mammon, no. One boyfriend is almost more than I can handle.”

“Wha- hey!”

For the first time in who knows when, you actually giggled. It felt so good.

“So, you swear nothin’ is wrong? You’ve been actin’ so weird.” His voice was heavy with concern.

“Yeah, I swear.” Lie.

As good as it felt to talk to him, you needed to end the call before he ended up dragging the truth out of you. If any one could figure out what was wrong with you, it’d be him. The two of you had spent so much time together, that you can practically read each other like a book.

“I gotta go, ok? I have work later and I need to get ready.” Lie. But, you needed to get off the phone with him before he suspects anything.

“Yeah, sure.” He sounded so defeated. You could almost hear him pouting.

After a quicker goodbye than you usually have when getting off the phone with Mammon, you fell back onto your bed with a heavy sigh.

That was a little rough, but he seemed to believe it. I hope this will all be over soon.

With that, you quickly fell asleep, lulled by the memory of your demon’s voice. Although you wouldn’t sleep long, at least you got to fall asleep to the thought of him.

-

*bzzz* *bzzz* *bzzz*

Geez, are ya gonna answer or not? Ya always pick up on the second ring when I call ya.., Mammon thought.

Finally, on the sixth ring, “Mammon..? I thought it was Beel’s turn to call?”

Man, hearing your voice is like music.

“I don’t care about Lucifer’s stupid schedule. I need to talk to ya.” His tone made him sound a little rougher than intended, but it was all the same. He needed to hear you voice.

“Oh, ok. What’s up?”

He scoffed, “Really? You’ve barely messaged me back in three days. The last time I called, ya hung up after five minutes.”

I miss ya like crazy. Ya keep avoiding me..

“Oh. I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy.” 

Huh? But, MC is always busy doing somethin’ and it never stopped em’ before..

He started getting an uneasy feeling deep in his stomach. He could tell something was off, but he just didn’t know what it was.

Is it ...someone else? Nah, MC wouldn’t do that. ...Right??

“You’ve never been too busy before. Besides, shouldn’t ya be in a class right now or somethin’? It ain’t even noon.” He didn’t try to hide the pout, that he knew you could hear, in his voice. His own thoughts were beginning to hurt his feelings.

“I left class early and I’m skipping the rest of the day.” MC explained.

“..Hmm.” He hummed. Thoughts started swirling around in his head.

MC never skips school, not even at RAD. Somethin’ is definitely going on. And what’s with the short answers? MC always talks like crazy. Maybe they’re mad at me?

It was quiet for a moment while he tried to sort through his thoughts.

“MC?” He asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“..D-do ya got another boyfriend? Cause The Great Mammon is definitely better! And-and, I’ll kick their ass!”

“What? Mammon, no. One boyfriend is almost more than I can handle.”

“Wha- hey!” You giggled at his response. It was small, but he heard it. It made his heart swim.

All joking aside, he did believe you. Something was definitely not right with you though.

“So, you swear nothin’ is wrong? You’ve been actin’ so weird.” His voice was heavy with concern.

“Yeah, I swear.” Those three words caused his heart to sink.

That was a lie.. MC only says ‘I swear’ while tryin’ to act like somethin’ ain’t wrong..

He pushed his thoughts aside for the time being and continued the conversation. It only lasted a few more minutes before you started saying your goodbyes. Again, cutting the call short.

“I gotta go, ok? I have work later and I need to get ready.” 

Hmm. Why does that seem weird?

“Yeah, sure.” He sounded so defeated.

There was, without a doubt in his mind, something going on. Something that would make you lie to him..

One way or another, he was going to find out.

-

“Mammon? Are you alright?”

Mammon was sprawled out on the couch in the common room. After talking to you, he was lost in his thoughts and feeling rather down. Beel passed by the common room on his was back from the kitchen when he saw his older brother. Noticing that he looked sad, Beel went to investigate.

Mammon looked up to meet Bee’s concerned gaze and with a sigh, he sat up.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Mammon said, as he stood up to leave. Beel could tell he was obviously lying, but decided not to press the issue.

Mammon stopped a few paces away from Beel, and turned back around to face him.

“Hey, Beel. Was MC actin’, I don’t know, “off”, the last time ya talked to em’?” He asked the sixth born, thinking maybe you had accidentally let something slip.

Beel’s face seemed to twist up a little bit, and he nodded.

“Yeah, kind of. MC used to sound excited when I called, but now they hardly talk at all. And they used to send me pictures of the food they were eating and new recipes, at least twice a day, but it’s been about two weeks since the last one they sent.” He explained, sadness in his voice. While in the Devildom, you were his favorite person to eat with.

Mammon nodded at his brother, getting lost in his thoughts again.

So, it’s not just me. MC is actin’ strange with Beel too..

Neither of them had paid been paying enough attention to see Asmo enter the room.

“Mammon, there you are. I’m going out, and I need my new bag from Majolish. The one I let you borrow. And i swear, if you sold it-” Asmo stopped mid sentence when he noticed the sad state two of his brothers.

“Is it about MC?” He asked, nonchalaunt.

Mammon’s head snapped toward his brother.

“What do you mean? Did they say somethin’ to ya?” Mammon asked quickly, taking a few steps closer to his brother.

MC and Asmo always gossip with each other, so maybe they’d tell him somethin’..

“Calm down. MC really hasn’t talked to me much in the last month. I’m so hurt! Who else am I going to talk beauty products with? Lucifer? Goodness, no.”

“Asmo!” Mammon said loudly, trying to get the fifth born back on track.

“Oh, right. Let’s see.” He put a finger to his chin and thought about it. “Hmm. The only thing I can think of was during the last normal conversation I had with them. They said something about receiving a piece of hate mail. They said it was no big deal, but I distinctly remember MC seemed flustered by it. Which I thought was weird, considering it’s definitely not the first one they’d received..” Asmo explained.

Hate mail? MC has only mentioned it to me a couple times. Do they really get it that often..?

“How long ago was that?” Mammon asked. He felt like he was on the brink of something. Just a few more puzzle pieces..

“Hmm, it was right before MC started acting distant toward me. So, about three or four weeks, maybe.” Asmo explained. That’s around the time you had started acting weird with Mammon too.

“So, maybe something happened to MC.” Beel suggested.

“No, MC would tell us. ..Right?” Asmo questioned.

Mammon was so confused.

What is goin’ on with you, MC?

-

After talking with his brothers, Mammon holed himself up in his room. He didn’t really want to be around anyone at the moment. His thoughts were driving him crazy and giving him a headache. What was he not seeing? What piece of the puzzle was he missing?

He started going over your last conversation again, for the millionth time, looking for any kind of clue. But, you seemed normal. Well, your new normal, anyway. Distant, short answers, not giving too much to the conversation. What were you hiding?

It was something about the end of your conversation, but what was it?

He remembered your small giggle. The memory caused a smile to break out across his face. It gave him a tiny bit of hope that you were still there. That you still loved him. That whatever was troubling you, wasn’t making you forget them completely.

It was after that though. You had said “I swear”, which was a red flag, considering you only say it when you’re trying to convince him you’re ok when you’re really not.

He sighed, and rolled over on his bed. He looked at the alarm clock on his night stand, numbers glowing an angry red.

MC is probably at work right now..

Something caught his eye.

Today is Thursday... MC never works on Thursday. I guess the schedule coulda changed. No, cause MC specifically requested to always have that day off for some reason. Delivery day at their family’s bakery, I think. ...MC lied, again..

Then it hit him.

The small little lies. Avoiding all of them, even him for weeks now. Barely talking when you do answer the phone. The way you always sounded so tired and out of it.

It had something to do with what Asmo said about the hate mail.

“Hmm. The only thing I can think of was during the last normal conversation I had with them. They said something about receiving a piece of hate mail. They said it was no big deal, but I distinctly remember MC seemed flustered by it. Which I thought was weird, considering it’s definitely not the first one they’d received..”

Mammon didn’t even know that you’d been receiving that much hate mail. Sure, you’d told him about it a couple times, but he didn’t think it was that bad. Maybe it was actually pretty serious. Is that why you’d been so distant.

Mammon got up from his bed, and began pacing around the room. He almost had it figured out, he could feel it.

Asmo said MC seemed flustered, so it had to have somethin’ to do with the hate mail they received that day, since after that is when MC started actin’ weird.What if it’s somethin’ bad. Like, bad bad. 

He stopped pacing.

The thought of MC being in danger was...

Mammon grabbed his jacket, where it was thrown onto the pool table and left his room in a hurry. He was on his way to Lucifer’s study, mentally preparing himself on the way. He was sure he knew what his brother’s answer would be, but he wasn’t going to just sit here. He needed to know that you were, in fact alright, with his own eyes.

I’m going to the human world. Whether Lucifer allows it or not.

| part two | | part three |

[peach-the-owl]

Exu crew and an artificer kid? The crew enters the kids home town and they don't seem that happy about it but doesn't say anything, everyone goes different ways to shop/explore/etc and while everyone goes their own ways the kids old bullies pull them into an alleyway and just bully them breaking anything kid made/name calling/pulling hair just being unbelievable mean. The bullies all freeze, then kid looks over their shoulders and sees the whole group behind them looking intimidating, the bullies run away while the other ask what's going on and try to comfort their child.

Wow this was longer then I expected SORRY!! I hope you have a wonderful day ❤️

There’s no need to be sorry for an idea 😁 I hope this turned out good

(Second piece to deal with a bullying theme, dang)

Fine Craftsmanship

ExU Crew & Child!Artificer!Reader

The trip to Byroden was a longer one then you first thought, having to make a few pit stops to rest and restock on food, but it did have its perks, giving you time to work on some projects while on the road. They weren’t anything huge, you wanted to surprise everyone in the group with a personally crafted item, everything was fine at first until you recognized the town you were currently approaching.

"Are you alright (y/n)? You seem a bit jumpy." Dorian comments, having noticed your fidgeting hands. You take a quick second to calm yourself before replying.

"I’m fine, this is actually my hometown. I haven’t seen it in awhile, you know." He gives you a small nod and gets himself a better look out the window.

"If you’re from here that means you know where all the good stops are right?" Dariax asks excitedly.

"I’m still a kid, I wouldn’t know what’s 'good' in your opinion." You stare blankly, it was a bit strange sometimes to be one of the smartest people in the group.

"Right, right. No drinking for you." Dariax says, as if he already knew all this. You playfully roll your eyes at him and smile a little, maybe this wouldn’t so bad after all, so long as you stayed close to everyone. You enter the town and find a good place to park the Glitter-Shitter (I can’t even write the word with a straight face) before making your way into the marketplace and instantly Opal is off browsing the different shops and stalls of the market, dragging Fearne along with her and Fy'ra Rai trailing behind them, telling everyone to meetup in an hour. Dorian heads over to the tavern hoping to sweet talk the folk there for some food for the road, Dariax tagging along most likely to grab some drinks and test his luck with some gambling. Orym had disappeared from your sight entirely, heading off to do his own thing if you had to take a guess. You sigh unsure of where to go, now just hoping things go by quickly and without trouble as you sit by the wagon pull out some tools and continue to tinker away at a small gift you were making for Fearne for a while, placing your mind into a false sense of security.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to come home." You hear a chillingly familiar voice spite at you and look over at the three people you were hoping not to see. There was Marty, Hamna, and their self proclaimed leader Fion (I just made up some names here, idk), they used to terrorize you relentlessly until you’d finally had enough and snuck on that cart to Emon, which lead to the adventure you were on now, a story come full circle in the worst way to you. You get up quickly hoping to dash over to where Opal and Fearne where looking at some sparkling necklaces for protection, you don’t move quick enough as you’re yanked back by your hair by either Marty or Hamna as Fion covers your mouth to avoid you shouting for help. Once pulled into a nearby alleyway, away from public view, Marty and Hamna each restrain one of your arms. You thrash and struggle to try and free yourself, managing to loosen their grip slightly only to get socked in the jaw by Fion giving the other two the chance to readjust their grip into a more secure position, trapping you.

"Let go! Leave me alone!" You shout as you continue to squirm to try and free yourself.

"Awww, and what are you going to do if we don’t?" Marty teases. You wanted to cast something to no avail with their tight grip preventing you of freeing yourself and grabbing your tools.

"Look at them," Hamna laughs, "they’re too weak to even break free." You glare at them. Fion walks over to you and starts rummaging around your bag, mindlessly throwing around the various items you’ve worked on for a long time to make.

"What’s this supposed to be?" They ask, holding up a hair clip you had intended to give to Opal.

"That’s for my friend! Put it back!" You shout a little too loud for their liking and the two holding your arms use their free hands to cover your mouth, muffling your words or cry’s for help. The one holding the hair clip looks it over in their hand before looking you in the eyes and snapping the item in half.

"Oops, sorry. My hand slipped." Their voice dripped with sarcasm. They continue to rummage through your bag, or look through the small pile of items they threw out of it, pulling out items you wanted to give to everyone as gifts. Every time they’d inspect one item, they'd just as quickly break it, smashing it on the ground or snapping it in their hands. You struggled and tugged against the two still holding you back and muffling out your voice, but it was no use, you were restrained, unable to call for help and left to helplessly watch as they destroyed your hard work. As if things couldn’t get worse, they pull out your tools, the literal lifeblood for your magic, look you straight in your eyes and while struggling a bit manage to break them too.

"Awww, they’re crying like a baby." Hamna laughs.

"That’s because they are a baby." Marty continues.

"If you really want to cry like a baby, we’ll give a reason to cry." Fion eggs on, getting the other two to harshly shove you to the ground. You curl into a ball preparing for the worst, you wait a moment and when nothing happens you peek up to see the three of them frozen in place with fear in their eyes. You adjust yourself to have a look over your shoulder and see everyone standing with intimidating looks on their faces.

Dorian stared daggers at the bullies, while also subtly fiddling with his handaxe. Opal twirled her knives in her hands, magic sparking at her fingertips, and if you looked closely enough you could see a faint glow emit from her necklace. Fearne stood tall, her snake staff coming to life and hissing at the three, Mister well perched on her shoulder screeches, purposely showing the fiery interior of his mouth. Orym takes a step in front of you, acting as a shield for you while placing his hand on the hilt of his sword, you knew well enough he wouldn’t actually draw his sword on the other kids, but they didn’t know that. Dariax on the other hand looked very ready to strike at the three, holding a tight grip on his spear.

"Are you hurt bad?" Orym asks quietly, looking over to you. You shake your head giving an equally quiet "no".

"I’m not a fan of people hurting my little friend here." You hear Dariax say, now fulling pointing his spear at the others, the three each take step back. You finch at the feeling of being suddenly lifted off the ground, finding yourself in Dorian's arms, he gives you a concerned but reassuring smile.

"Let’s get out of here!" Fion commands and the three turn to leave but are stopped when Fy'ra Rai blocks their exit, her eyes burning into them with fury.

"You’re unjust actions should not be left unpunished. You dare to put down this child as if they are weak, when it is you three that are the weaklings. Knowing you would never stand a chance alone you group together and single out the ones you see as vulnerable. It is sad and pathetic, now leave while we still show you mercy." Her voice held such a powerful tone to it, it almost felt like the ground itself shook at her words. Fion, Marty and Hamna scramble over each other before running off, one of them crying for their mommy.

"Who where those children? Do you know?" Dorian asks. You let out a long sigh and explain to everyone a bit about your life when you still lived in the town.

"What’s all this stuff here?" Opal speaks up, staring at the broken pile of items.

"I wanted to surprise you all with some gifts I made, but now their all broken." You sigh sadly.

"You made theses for us?"

"I tried to, I know they aren’t that good but you’ve all been so nice and carding to me, I wanted to retune the favour."

"That’s really sweet of you." Fearne smiles, giving you a pat on the head, you smile a little at this.

"Why don’t you just fix them? I’ve seen ya do stuff like that before." Dariax butts in.

"I would, but they broke my tools too." You pout.

"Well that’s easy, we'll just buy you some new tools." Dorian states, shuffling you in his grip a bit to have a better hold on you. You look up at him with big hopeful eyes.

"Really? I don’t want to bother you."

"It’s no bother at all, your our little genius, the last thing we’d want are some small town jerks preventing you from ever thinking that." He proudly proclaims, getting affirmation from the others. Fy'ra Rai walks over and gently lifts your chin up to look at her.

"Listen to me little one, you are much stronger then you'd ever believe, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise." You give her a small nod, not entirely sure what she means but finding her words encouraging nonetheless.

"You know what? I do remember seeing these really awesome looking tools, while searching for a cloths shop. Here I’ll show you." Opal brightens up a bit, grabbing and dragging Dorian and by extension you off into the market again.

"Opal!" Dorian calls in surprise, holding tighter to you so you wouldn’t fall. You just giggle at the two, looking over your shoulder to see the others hurrying to catch up.

[angstyaches]

I’ve Been Away Pt. 1

CW: angst, crying, nausea/indigestion caused by stress, anxiety. (But there’s a bit of banter at the end to round it out.)

Felix waited across the street in a rented car, waiting for Elliott to leave the house.

He and Ryan usually went out to sharpen their combat skills (at least, that was how they phrased “trying to beat the crap out of one another”) on Sunday evenings, and knowing Elliott, he wouldn’t want Ryan to see how Felix’s absence was affecting him. If it was affecting him, Felix corrected himself, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. Maybe Elliott was doing fine without him. Maybe he was better off. It didn’t really bear thinking about.

Felix gasped as the front door opened and Ryan walked out, heading straight for her car. Elliott followed, his steps a lot slower and more deliberate than usual. Felix folded his arms across the top of the steering wheel and ducked his head almost the whole way behind them, a sinking feeling in his belly. He’d bought a hoodie to cover up his mint hair, abandoned his own car at the hotel in favour of a less-recognisable one, and had even doused himself in cheap cologne on the off-chance that Elliott or Ryan would smell him from across the street.

He needn’t have worried, it seemed, since neither of them even glanced in his direction. Felix realised with a pang of despair that he was disappointed. If Elliott had been AWOL, Felix was sure he’d be glancing up and down every street and around every corner in the hopes of sighting him. He should have been happy that his plans to remain incognito had been successful, yet he wanted to cry.

Come on, Felix, don’t be a baby, he told himself. He’d come here for a reason, and things were going better than expected. He got out of the car as soon as Ryan’s disappeared from the street, taking Elliott away with it. Felix tried to ignore the pain in his heart.

He crossed the street, he realised afterwards, without even looking both ways first. His hands trembled as he took out his keys and let himself inside, the smell of lavender and floor cleaner scooping him up. This had been the first house that had ever really felt like home, but now it seemed to greet him with a glare, a side-eye. He shuddered and hurried upstairs, anxious to get in and out as quickly as possible.

Elliott had always thought Felix was crazy for having a safe in their bedroom wardrobe, complete with a code. Elliott thought a lot of things Felix did were crazy. Maybe I am crazy, Felix thought as he twisted the dial to input the code – the date of the day he’d run away from home; the first time. After all, he’d put all of his old IDs in here for a reason, and now here he was, dragging it all out.

A burning pain made itself known in the pit of his stomach as he dragged out the papers, his old passport, a small pile of newspaper clippings he had always meant to glue into a scrapbook but hadn’t. A watch slid out, landing on the wooden floor. Felix hadn’t seen in almost a decade. He swallowed a bitter mouthful of spit and shoved the watch back inside, not really concerned about scratch it in the process.

He eyed Elliott’s bedside locker as he stood up after locking the safe, clutching his documents to his chest. If he’d been in a rom-com, he would have left a little note to indicate to Elliott that he’d been there, and that he still loved him and just needed a little time. But this was real life, and Elliott would find precisely nothing romantic or comedic in a gesture like that.

So instead, Felix bolted back to the car.

He was shaking as he sank back into the driver’s seat of the car, resting his pile of papers in his lap. His old passport lay on top, but he couldn’t bring himself to open it. He wasn’t even sure if he would need any of this stuff, but if he was going to take this leap, he was going to be prepared for whatever they might want from him. He might have to fight to identify himself.

He might have to fight to make her remember.

He quickly dropped everything into the empty glove compartment, wrinkling his nose at the fresh wave of not-new-but-perfumed-to-seem-new car smell that came wafting out. A belch gurgled up his chest and he covered his mouth as it escaped. The last thing he’d eaten had been a sad sandwich from a petrol station, plus a tiny bit of the blood he’d been rationing himself, and the stress had made sure it hadn’t gone anywhere yet.

Maybe he should have picked up more blood when he’d been inside, but there was no way he could think about that without feeling like it would be stealing.

He felt sick. He was tired.

And the last thing he wanted was to be alone with his thoughts, especially with such a long drive ahead of him.

“Oh, no, no, no,” he whispered to himself, watching the door of the townhouse swing open across the street. He hadn’t thought about Shayne, who must have only gotten back from Charlie’s a few days ago. Felix whipped up his hood and sank a bit in his seat, thinking he wouldn’t be seen, but from peering out over the steering wheel, he got the feeling that Shayne already knew it was him.

“What the fuck, man?”

“Crap,” Felix hissed, scrambling to get the key in the ignition. He jumped in his seat as Shayne slammed both hands down on the front of the car.

“Stop, it’s a rental!” Felix squealed.

“The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Look, I know it looks bad –”

“Get out of the car!”

Felix inhaled deeply, staring down the hollow brown eyes that pinned him from outside the windshield. He slowly started to shake his head, even though his stomach felt like it was about to crawl up his throat.

“N-no.”

“Do you know what this is doing to Elliott?”

“No!” Felix yelled, covering his face with both hands. “No, I don’t, Shayne, but you don’t need to tell me, because I already hate myself enough! Whatever it is, it couldn’t be worse than the way it is in my head…”

He felt like he was being choked. His forehead made the horn honk gently as he let it fall against the wheel. His chest hurt, it hurt so fucking bad, it felt like whatever was left in there was rotten and crumbling and turned black with self-hatred. He’d known things were bad - he’d cried himself to sleep every night since he’d left - but right then, it felt like death itself was pressing in around him.

He jumped, the pain sharpening in his chest, at the sound of the passenger side door opening. The car bounced on its axis with the force of Shayne climbing in.

“I’m sorry!” Felix sobbed, not sure what he was actually expecting Shayne to do to him. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean for it to be like this, I just… there’s some stuff I have to do. It’s really, really important…”

“Is it?” Shayne asked sharply.

“Yes.”

Felix jumped again as Shayne pulled the door shut, hard.

“Alright.” Shayne shrugged, reaching for the seatbelt for the passenger seat. “You’re going to have to buy me more clothes if this takes longer than a day.”

Felix’s jaw dropped, the tears sliding down his face even as the sobs relented. “Wh-what?”

“Oh, and absolutely no singing.”

“That just seems… unreasonable,” Felix mumbled.

“And!” Shayne reached across to lightly slap Felix’s arm with the back of his hand. “We’re calling Elliott later. Both of us. Alright?”

Felix licked his lips, feeling both intimidated and energised by the glare he was receiving from his cousin. “Okay… sure.”

Shayne sank a bit lower in his seat and propped his head against the door. Felix took a deep breath, focusing on the full feeling in his lungs for a moment before letting himself deflate again. His hands felt a bit steadier when he started the ignition this time. The knot in his chest was still there but it felt a little lighter, and the sting of the indigestion didn’t creep quite so high.

“And the ‘no singing’ rule,” he said, “is that absolutely locked-in, or is there a bit of wiggle room on that…?”

“You break that rule, and I’m grabbing the steering wheel and wiggling us into oncoming traffic.”

[evakuality]

Mia, episode ten

1.  I like this little pile of girls she has going on here (and I love that it was recreated in s4).  I really do enjoy this group together and it’s nice when we get to see them all in one group like this.  ‘If he found out through someone else, that’d be worse’ - yeah it would, and I’m glad someone is finally working out that talking to each other is the best way to deal with things.  The most frustrating thing about this season so far (apart from the Noora bits) is how so much could have been avoided if people just actually spoke to each other rather than making assumptions.  I don’t feel like this was as big a problem in the other seasons.  Hanna was built around how unhealthy this behaviour is and Matteo was actually relatively good at communication, at least in ways that didn’t end up with this sort of issue.

2.  Druck: here are some shots of this school.  Me: 💜💙💜 - every damn time.  I really really love this school and its environs.  It’s such a great place to create interesting shots and scenes in!

3.  Okay, this bit seems better than the og.  I absolutely loathed that William refused to listen to Noora at all and chose instead to believe someone who is absolutely 100% proven by him to be an asshole and manipulative.  Here at least a) Mia genuinely did go and do something with Bjorn kind of on purpose and b) Alex is at least willing to talk; he hasn’t entirely shut her down.  Alex has far more genuine reason to be upset in this case (she chose to hang out with Bjorn rather than go see Alex after all unlike Noora who was at William’s house and sort of pressured into doing stuff against her will while she waited for him).  So the fact that Alex, while clearly hurt, is still willing to listen is a good change.

4.  Hmm, this is a very interesting shot of Mia.  Her costume is so dark and the background is so dark that her face stands out so starkly against it.  It’s another sort of black and white thing, except that where Mia and Amira were both black and white (signaling that both had aspects of each), here Alex is white and Mia is black (meaning they’re framing him as ‘right’ here).  I don’t necessarily love the way this season (and the og) tried to frame the William character as a misunderstood lovely guy when they both acted like absolute dicks.  But I do like the way Druck uses costuming and cinematography.  

5.  I don’t think any of this backstory really absolves Alex of any of what he did or how he’s acted.  But I will say, the acting is very nice and the things he’s talking about are quite poignant.  Clearly, Bjorn shows all the signs of a classic abuser and this must have been a hard thing for a young guy to watch.  But I guess the issue is that in order to stick to the og, Alex had to act like a similar sort of guy.  Which doesn’t make sense.  If he was as badly affected by all of this stuff as it seems he was, why start acting like the same sort of guy as the one who did this?

6.  Interesting that by the end of the clip we’re back to a share of the black and white.  Mia is absolutely in the right here, so this ‘nuance’ bothers me (there really is no reason for Alex to beat up Bjorn, and Mia’s right - she should be the one to deal with this in this instance).  But I do like that again, Druck is using colours and light (there’s a lot more light on Mia and a lot more dark around Alex by the end of the clip) to make their point.  It’s not absolutely one I agree with but I appreciate what they do with this stuff.  It was great in Hanna’s season and it’s great again here.  ‘Honestly Mia, this thing hasn’t worked between us from the start’ - hmmm, for once I agree with you, Alex. This is/was a high school romance that lasted for a couple of weeks.  They’ll both get over it and move on, particularly if they’re going to be in different places.  One thing I do like about the s4 stuff is that the show does acknowledge that and allows them to split up.  That’s just life.  That doesn’t mean they weren’t important for each other, but just that it was something that was with them for a short time, and it doesn’t have to be more than that.  I know that isn’t how this season ends, but overall I like where it goes.

7.  Oh, the often-talked-about ‘beanie boy’ scene.  Sad that I have never seen this episode and yet I recognized it from what Jonas is wearing.  Yes, I’ll admit it: I am a David fanatic and I’m so glad he had this little moment in this season.  Also, Hanna my dearest love looks so lovely here.  I’m not surprised Jonas hasn’t got himself over her yet.  I mean, look at her!!!  I do like how awkward this is.  Hanna did the moving on, she grew up and made a decision and it’s great that it worked for her, but I have been in the place where the other person wants to be friends but it hurts too much so I get Jonas as well.  This is a hard situation and I have to heap praise on the acting once again.  They’re both doing such a a great job here of selling just how tough this is.

8.  I have very few thoughts about the whole ‘sitting around smoking’ thing except that those glasses really suit Abdi!  But big sigh... here we go having Amira being the ‘reasonable’ one and telling us what to think about Alex.  Like Sana. she’s supposed to be the moral centre of the group and so we’re supposed to listen to her, and she’s telling us that we should understand him because of what he went through.  But there’s no nuance here again - yes, he went through something really awful and yes he has some qualities that aren’t entirely awful.  But he still did some manipulative and often plain horrible things and he shouldn’t get a pass for those just because he has a sad backstory.  If he actually did something to make up for what he did, if he acted like he was sorry rather than ‘right’ (again, a hangup from the og so I get it, but I still don’t like it), then I might have some sympathy for this line of reasoning but as it is ‘he has a sad backstory’ isn’t the ‘gotcha’ these shows think it is.  And ‘Jonas is actually worse than Alex’ is SUCH a terrible take.  Is Jonas perfect?  No of course not, but at least he didn’t deliberately do a lot of the awful things to girls that Alex did.  He at least genuinely liked both Leonie and Hanna when he was with them, and didn’t string them along for cheap sex.  Why do they always use the Sana character in this way?  Kiki of all people has the right take here.  It’s not up to outsiders whether they should or shouldn’t be together, but rather the two of them.  All we can do in the end is support our friends.

9.  Interesting placement with the message now being ‘follow your heart’ - again, I personally don’t think we should be making such a big romantic deal of this whole thing but if we listen to Kiki (rather than Amira’s ‘all men are assholes’ thing) then I guess we should applaud her.  This whole thing has clearly been difficult for Mia and it’s good that she wants to fight for what she wants.  Again I’ll slip in some praise for the acting - Druck (as with the og of course) really did seem to find some talented performers and then coaxed some lovely performances out of them.  

10.  Wow, Matteo even looks thoroughly uninterested in Sara even at this point.  How did she not pick up on it?  I do feel for Sam, though.  She wants a boyfriend and what she gets is an Abdi which was just a hook up thing really.  I wish we’d got to see her find someone good for her in all ways (and I’ll also never be over that we never did get resolution on some of Matteo’s and Amira’s stuff either... oh for even a short one-off like the abiball where we got some sort of closure).

11.  In really shallow news, I love this place where Mia ia talking to Alex - it’s really cool and with the lighting and graffiti it looks really interesting.  However, I know I talk a lot about pacing, but her again is an example of the issues I have with it.  I know they had to condense 11 episodes from the og (some veeeeeery long) into 10 more evenly sized ones.  But, this reunion in the last few minutes of the episode seems really rushed (though I am grateful that it’s not like the overly dramatic car reversing after William was yet again an asshole to Noora that we got in the og).  Alex is still talking about how Mia doesn’t trust him, how much they fight etc etc and Mia is calling him out for all the awful things he di at the start (which he continues to deny!!!!!!).  And it’s all true, and they don’t have time to actually talk about it before we get whatever fairytale they’re going for here.  It’s too short.  They could or should have rearranged a few clips (particularly earlier in the season) so we could get a better and stronger resolution of the problems they’re raising here. ‘Yeah we’ll still do and be all those things’ isn’t the romantic ideal they’re suggesting.  They still don’t communicate properly, which I personally would have liked to see before this big reunion.

However, overall I much preferred this ending to the one in the og.  William was a much worse character in the last episode than Alex is here.  I don’t like him, I don’t think he’s a good match for Mia but I do appreciate that he didn’t do what William did in the final episode.  And Mia was more at fault than Noora was and so there’s more balance between them.  I’ll never like this type of relationship, and I’ll certainly never like the Alex type of guy, but at least there was some acknowledgement of the issues and some suggestion that they can work on them together.  

[johns-prince]

Hey love! I hope you’ve been doing well! I have some thoughts about some stuff I’ve noticed recently, so I hope you don’t mind listening to a bit of a ramble.

Basically, I was listening to Here Today and being emotional, as you do, and I thought to myself “Y’know, why don’t we give John’s old demos a go as well. Wouldn’t hurt to cry a bit more while listening to Now And Then.” However, as soon as I went to their links that I had saved so I could access them easily, Youtube gave me a notice saying they were taken down due to a copyright claim from Yoko. Now, I know copyright is obviously a thing that will happen since she’s basically in control of the Lennon empire, but I found it a bit odd that they were specific recordings, at least from what I noticed.

The Now And Then recording that I was familiar with was removed, and the only ones that I can see that are still up and older than about a month (which are the age of ones I think people have reuploaded after the others were taken down) are either clips from documentaries or edited versions that people pass as “Beatles versions” of the song. The other that I noticed being recently removed was the third demo of Real Life. Both have extreme hints towards Paul in them, Now And Then basically being wholeheartedly about Paul and that Real Life demo in particular having certain lines that seem to point to Paul (at least in my opinion).

I may be reading WAY too far into all of it and if I’m completely wrong then that’s fine by me (at least that would mean the only reason would be copyright), but after the whole thing about her replacing Paul’s introduction to John’s book with her own recently AND knowing the lengths she has gone in order to keep her and John’s “love” alive in the eyes of the public, I wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t at least a bit more going on beyond the basic copyright claims in terms of some of these recordings. You’d think with a company that large, they’d have taken those videos down due to copyright pretty soon after they were posted, but they let them stay up for a fairly long while and were only taken down because Yoko herself decided to do so. I don’t really know honestly, just speaking my mind I guess.

I don’t mind rambling, all I ever do is ramble. Thank you for enjoying my rambling lol

Because I’mma ‘bout to ramble here myself—

So, let’s address some things that have been going on with the John Lennon Estate as of late, and the... Eight other companies that were linked to Yoko Ono (and apparently shared with The Beatles) because I think it’s important in maybe getting to the bottom of why the Hell this is happening now, and why so many demos, and even certain videos like the one with John filming and saying, “Paul, my dear one,” was even hit with copyright and taken down.

The companies that are in charge of John’s music rights are: 

Lensolo, Lincoln publishing, and Apple Corps. I think Apple Corps. is the only one shared between Yoko Ono and The Beatles?  

I’m not sure when she exactly did this, but from these two articles published in November, 2020 [x] [x] it must have been last year Yoko Ono apparently handed over business interests (The John Lennon Estate) over to Sean Lennon. 

So, Yoko has been managing the Estate, and the other companies, since John’s unfortunate death in 1980. Last year is when she apparently handed over management control to Sean:

“The musician has also joined the board at Lensolo which manages the music rights of some of his father’s solo output, The Mirror reported.  

Here comes the son: Sean Lennon, 45, has been appointed a director at eight companies linked to the family and the Beatles, including Apple Corp.” [x]

“Now Sean, 45, has been appointed a director at eight companies linked to the family and The Beatles according to The Mirror, including the multimedia Apple Corps.

Apple Corps had reported assets of $36million last year, and Sean is also believed to be taking over at Lensolo, managing John's solo material, Maclen, which publishes John's work in the US, and Subafilms, a music film company.” [x]

You then have Stans like this claiming Yoko isn’t in charge of The Lennon Estate, so we should just stop being spiteful and blaming her for what’s going on with these copyright strikes and removal of these videos/recordings— which by first glance at any of these articles you might be inclined to be like, “Huh I guess you’re right,”

But...

“A spokesman sad: ‘Yoko continues to oversee John’s estate but has drafted in Sean as a director to assist where necessary.’” [x] [x] [x]

So... She still oversees The John Lennon Estate, even though she supposedly is retiring... Simply making Sean the director to assist when necessary. Basically, “UK paper The Mirror now reports Ono has handed most of her duties over to son Sean Ono Lennon.” and “ While Ono has not commented on his new roles he has been actively following the passing of what would have been his father’s 80th birthday on October 9.” 

She’s incorporating Sean into business matters, but it appears she is still overseeing everything and still in charge. 

Then you have this;

“Despite it being 40 years after the death of John Lennon, the singer's estate is still raking it in, much to the delight of Yoko Ono.

Last year, he was named the seventh top earning dead celebrity by Forbes, with an annual income of $14million.

The 50th anniversary of iconic album Abbey Road boosted sales and streams of The Beatles catalog, proving a healthy stream of income to the estate.

The Lennon estate also owns memorabilia. his art and a number of properties.

The income might be more if not for the legal wrangling over the ownership of The Beatles catalog, which was once owned by Michael Jackson and then by Sony.

Yoko has kept a steady hand on John's finances, amassing a reported $700million fortune off the back of his estate.

As a key shareholder in Apple Corps, she profited from his music sales and other ventures which featured The Beatles, such as Rock Band.

She also owns multimillion-dollar properties in Manhattan and hundreds of acres in Delaware County.

But in recent years, she has sold off a number of them, selling a West Village penthouse for $12million in 2013, and an Upper West Side building for $10million in 2017.

According to Companies House in the UK, Yoko was registered as a director in a number of companies including Apple Corps, Maclen, which publishes Lennon's songs in the US, Lensolo for his solo work, and Subafilms.

Yoko has also made money off her own artwork, which has sold for up to $50,000.” [x]

Make of all that what you will. 

What do we know? We know that Sean is now somewhat working behind the scenes of the John Lennon Estate, so this could be his doing since these copyright strikes and removal of demos and certain videos had just started happening this year— but as we’ve learned, we don’t even know the full extent of control/management Sean actually has, and if he even has the position to be calling the shots and making important, noticeable decisions. 

It appears, by the research I’ve put in and what I could find about this, that it would be Yoko who’s still in charge. Meaning, she’d be the main one behind greenlighting these copyright strikes/claims and getting the demos and certain videos removed/taken down.

I think you’re right in your thoughts, and being suspicious of the reasoning behind these copyright strikes and removals, especially when we start looking at which one’s are being hit. Why now has the Estate started copyright claiming all these demos and getting them removed? Even versions of this bloody video had been struck down as copyright, and removed— which I think is extremely suspicious, and just... unnecessary? Petty? Stupid??

We can’t say with 100% certainty of why The Lennon Estate is doing this now, why Yoko (and now Sean, to an unknown extent) has decided to start copyright claiming and striking down certain demos, and even videos/clips that involve John (we just love how easy it is to claim copyright on Youtube)— but it’s suspicious, and doesn’t help improve one’s perspective and impression of the John Lennon Estate, Yoko Ono, or Sean Lennon. 

[bestkindofbeehive]

Smile for Me Week, Day 1: Secret

happy smile for me week!!! for my first trick, have a fic I wrote after thinking about my dad too hard. it ends well and it was pretty cathartic for me, but it does get a bit emotionally intense re: feelings about having to stay closeted in front of your parents for years, so fair warning. but it does end well I promise!!! I’ll probably post this on ao3 soon too, so look out for that!

-----

Never in a million years would Parsley have ever expected that being stuck in the same slapdash “mental health” retreat as his dad would end in anything other than frustration. And, to be fair, that was how things went for a while. But then that weird florist handed him one of his dad’s terrible dishes, and before he knew it he was getting drunk off his ass and actually talking to his dad for the first time in... years, probably. Somehow it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. The Kahlúa and birthday cake flavored vodka probably helped.

And then he’d been woken up in the middle of the night and suddenly urged out of the giant front gates with very little reason why— something something carbon monoxide poisoning. Not that Parsley really needed convincing to get the hell out of there at that point. Even a constant flow of free alcohol probably wouldn’t have kept him there for much longer. Those last PSAs were getting pretty creepy and, well, incredibly specific and aggressive towards one particular person. He had hoped that chicken te- flower vendor made it out alright, but he saw them a few days later in town. So things couldn’t have ended too badly.

The most astonishing thing, though, was the fact that he and his dad actually kept talking once they got out of that place. And he somehow didn’t wind up wanting to tear his hair out by the end of every conversation, even. Of course his dad frustrated him plenty of times, but it never got bad bad like it used to. Things between them were... good. Not good good, but just. Good.

So good, in fact, that Parsley manages to somehow metaphorically vomit up the words necessary to tell his dad he wasn’t attracted to women. He wasn’t even drunk— tipsy, certainly, but he was painfully in control of all his faculties that night.

It went... well. He knows the night ended on good terms, and he knows his dad didn’t get angry. He’s pretty sure his dad told him he loved him at some point, which is a good sign. It only happened a few weeks ago. He isn’t really ready to think about it very hard in any capacity. He’s scared that he’ll go looking for some specific sign, or a phrase, or a look— something that definitively tells him that his dad doesn’t look at him and wish he had another son— and come up empty.

Parsley takes what he can get, until what he can get isn’t enough anymore.

The tension finally breaks one evening; almost six months to the day they both left the Habitat. They were watching the end of some melodrama that was airing right before the hilariously disorganized cooking show they both enjoyed. And the stupid thing is that Parsley can’t even remember what his dad said that set him off so bad— but, god, his dad would know just the right string of words to tick him off enough to say something. It was something about keeping secrets. Something about how he didn’t understand why some people keep harmless stuff so close to their chest for no reason. Which is rich coming from him, the man who has to bluster his way through every emotional conversation he’s ever had. Parsley would be seeing red if his eyes weren’t already that color.

“See, I mean, like with your whole, uh, situation— Not that I’m tryin’ to rag on you or anything, sprig, but I just don’t see why you didn’t just go on and tell me! I wouldn't've been mad at you or nothin’,” Jimothan says, gladly shoving his entire foot in his mouth for the sake of scolding Parsley, just like old times.

Parsley, to his credit, doesn’t immediately blow up. “You didn’t exactly make it the easiest thing to do,” he says, his voice clipped and his jaw tense. His dad makes a bewildered noise next to him; a noise that wouldn’t be out of place in a sitcom.

“Now what’s that supposed to mean? I always told you that you could talk to me about anything, didn’t I?” Jimothan asks. The look of genuine confusion on his face almost makes Parsley want to drop it and just keep watching tv, but the fuse has already been lit.

“Sure, if you forget about all the times you showed me that definitely wasn’t true,” Parsley scoffs, pretending to focus on the tv again. The melodrama is still going. The character on screen is crying big, unrealistic tears. Parsley can’t make out what they’re crying about over the blood starting to rush through his ears. Every neural pathway in his brain left over from his teens is yelling at him to just let dad think that he’s right so the lecture that hasn’t even started will stop.

“What’re you— Parsley, what the heck are you talkin’ about? I’ve never— When have I ever said somethin’ that would make you think I wouldn’t—”

Something in his dad’s tone immediately sets Parsley’s blood to a boil. He sounds like he doesn’t understand; like he doesn’t even know where this is even coming from. He has no idea. Fuck, would it hurt less if his dad tried to justify himself instead? If he sounded angry instead of confused? Because this means that he just doesn’t know. Decades of hiding and bullshit and being afraid and he just didn’t know.

“Are you KIDDING ME?” Parsley fires back, eyes wide open and blood red. Jimothan almost jumps, having not been witness to his son’s temper in a while. “When HAVEN’T you said something that would make me think you wouldn’t approve? I wouldn’t— I couldn’t go a day without you making some comment about how I needed to get a girlfriend, or- or- how you couldn’t wait to have grandkids, or some other stupid thing about me “finally” getting a wife someday—” Parsley rants, his voice stuttering with the anger flying around in his chest.

Jimothan at least has the decency to look a bit stunned. “But— Oh c’mon Parsley, that was just me tryin’ to give you a little push! I thought you were havin’ a tough time talking to girls, so I figured I would just give you some pointers—”

“No! That’s just it! You just had to build up and build up this— this idea of what I was supposed to do! Every time you just had to make a comment like that it was another bullet on the fist— LIST of all the things I wasn’t doing right,” Parsley flusters. At some point in his rant his hands find their way to his head, and he tries to run his fingers through his hair to calm himself down, but they keep catching on tangles. “A-And you wanna act like I shouldn’t have been scared to tell you, but you—!”

“Scared?” His dad’s expression breaks a little, which just makes this awful situation all the more difficult. Shit. Shit shit shit, this wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. It shouldn’t even be happening, but the fire in Parsley’s chest isn’t dying down and he can’t keep his traitor mouth shut.

“Sprig, you didn’t have any reason to be scared, it woulda been fi—” Jimothan tries to start.

“Ugh, you’re not LISTENING!” Parsley feels like he’s seconds away from tearing his hair out. God, he sounds like such a teenager. “It wasn’t that easy! Of course I was scared! How the hell could I have explained— I just—!!” 

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU I WASN’T THE SON YOU WANTED?!” Parsley finally screams.

The room gets quiet frighteningly fast. His dad just stares at him, his face slack with a cocktail of confusion, surprise, and what Parsley wants to hope is sadness.

Suddenly, all the anger and half-hearted bravado flies out of Parsley’s chest. His arms fall to his sides, and he’s left panting with the exertion of having just spilled out a flood of emotions that have been building since he was in elementary school. He doesn’t feel relieved. He just feels tired.

And then he starts crying. Which is just... great. As if this night needed some extra turmoil to really polish things off. Like most times, he can’t even stop himself; he was never good about not wearing his heart on his sleeve. Not his anger, not his disappointment, and definitely not his heartache. It’s not even a “dignified cry”, as his dad would put it— he’s hiding his face in his hands, and he can’t stop his shoulders from shaking every time he tries to suck in a stuttery breath.

He probably looks pretty pathetic right now, Parsley thinks. And in a few moments he’ll hear his dad get up and walk out of his apartment while mumbling something about seeing him later. And then in about a week’s time, Parsley will answer the phone, hear his dad’s voice, and both of them will never speak of this night ever again.

But something different happens.

Instead, he feels his dad’s sturdy hands take him by the shoulders and pull him into a firm hug. It’s an awkward thing; Parsley’s hands were still covering his face, so now they’re kind of pinned to his chest, and his dad is squeezing him just slightly too hard. They’re both out of practice, really.

Before Parsley can manage a “whuh” in response, he hears more than sees his dad take in a big, faltering breath while his shoulders start to shake. Parsley has only seen his dad cry a handful of times in his life. Most of them happened around the time the divorce was finalized. But after that... Nothing.

Jimothan makes a wounded noise of a sob. “Y-You’re— God, sprig, I would never...” he starts, but can’t find the words to finish. Parsley manages to find it in himself to forgive his dad for that pretty easily. He’s never been the most eloquent when it comes to emotional outbursts. Parsley manages to wriggle his arms free, and wraps them around his dad. The older man lets out a little sniffle in response, and then starts to run his hand down his son’s messy head of hair. It only catches a few times.

“You’re all I got, Parsley,” his dad mumbles through the thickness in his voice. “You’re all I got.”

Parsley lets himself cry just a little bit more, his chest finally starting to feel lighter than it has in years. The two of them exist like that for a while— clumsily hugging and crying and mumbling little fragments of things they’ve both been meaning to say. At some point they’ll have to break apart, and at some point the night will have to end. They’ll part ways with slightly stilted goodbyes, and very likely won’t speak of this night for at least a few months. But for now, they both let themselves have this moment. 

And it’s not much, but it’s enough.

[novasintheroom]

Ooooo a fresh blog! Heyo there! So, my first request is some head canons, if you write them anyway, for the each of the turtles having a s/o who is usually the purest of beans. Like— she doesn’t get angry, usually shy when meeting new people, very humble, sweet and caring— but for the first time she does it’s like she realizes she’s frustrated and mad about something that happened during the day and it’s the first time she’s expressing it. the turtles notice her come in knowing something is off about her behavior when she’s usually so cheerful. Almost like “Sometimes it just makes me so— it makes me so... so...! Angry!” But she actually gets super surprised with herself realizing she’s actually venting just to say she’s fine in the end after bottling up for so long. The turtles just looking at her and asking if she’s okay 😂 If that makes any sense.. sorry if it doesn’t.

Oooooo my first ask!! I’m so nervous and excited! I think I got the gist of what you’re getting at. Thanks for sending this in, it means a lot to me! <3

Leo

·         Honestly caught off guard when you come in steaming

·         Your calm and sweetness is something he loves and looks forward to – it’s hard being the firm leader in his family when everyone pushes back, so you’re a pleasant break from the arguments and sassy remarks

·         Not today

·         It’s loud in the lair – Raph and Mikey are doing something with a basketball and hula hoop that’s got Raph raging and Mikey screaming, Donnie’s got a power tool going on the truck, and Splinter’s Celine Dion music is blaring to drown it all out while he works on pruning his plants

·         Leo’s up in the concrete rafters with a book, glancing down every other minute to make sure Raph doesn’t kill Mikey

·         He would have completely missed you coming in if Mikey hadn’t thrown the ball toward the entrance

·         You dodge the ball before it hits you, but instead of laughing it off like usual, you throw a dark look at his brothers and beeline toward the dojo.

·         Woah, that’s weird

·         Avoidance of his family = big red flag

·         You didn’t even say hi to him??

·         Hops down and follows, waving off Mikey’s calls to you

·         Finds you in the corner of the dojo, bag thrown to the side and hands smoothing out the sand of his small zen garden

·         Feels a bit awkward honestly

·         Listen, he’s getting better at it, but he’s not the best at feelings

·         Especially girl feelings

·         He knows something’s up though, and he wouldn’t be a good beau if he just let you simmer

·         Spooks you when he asks if you’re okay

·         Darn those ninja skills, how is someone as big as him so silent?

·         You sigh and just say you had a fight with your roommate and that it’s fine, you just needed some quiet before you went to his family

·         Okay, coolcoolcool. He can work with this. He and Raph fight all the time! “What was the fight about?”

·         Cue explosion

·         “She doesn’t pay her part of the bills on time, and she has her boyfriend over constantly and I can hear them through the walls when they’re screwing because the stupid cheap apartment has stupid cheap thin walls, and she leaves her dishes everywhere even when I ask her to not be a slob, and the landlord is getting after me for her rent when– “

·         W o w

·         He didn’t think you knew any swear words, but the names you’re calling your roommate would make even Raph blush

·         Your rant goes on and on

·         Anytime he tries to suggest a solution you get angry at him like why can’t he just listen omg

·         He shuts up quick

·         Somewhere in the process he sat down and your head moved to his lap while you laid all your problems out

·         By the time you’re finished your chest is heaving and it’s been an hour

·         Leo’s scared to say something in case you go off again lmao

·         He just plays with your hair and hums while you calm down

·         Finally you look at him with wide eyes, “Wow, geez, I didn’t think I was that mad.”

·         He can’t help but laugh, “Me neither.”

·         Your smile is back, though, and that’s the best thing he’s seen all day

·         “You feeling better now?”

·         You say yes, and give him a good hug and kiss as thanks for his patience

·         He asks you to come to him if things start building up again

·         Seriously, start talking to him – I don’t think the poor guy can handle another explosion like that lol

 Raph

·         Raph knows anger

·         Does he know how to deal with it? Ehhh that’s hit-and-miss

·         But he knows it

·         So seeing your tense shoulders, clenched fists, grinding teeth when you walk in – he knows you’re angry

·         It’s a bit off-putting tbh – you’re the calm to his rage, the quiet touch to wind him down when something gets under his skin

·         What happened to make his quiet girl so mad?

·         Did someone say something about your family?

·         Or something about your outfit?

·         Did a skeevy guy try to touch you?

·         Did someone try to kiss you?

·         Okay, now he’s getting mad

·         Decides to take a page from Splinter’s book and pulls you aside to talk

·         “What’s the matter?”

·         You pull at your sleeves, looking anywhere but him

·         You just mumble you’re fine, and that you’re hungry and try to move to the kitchen

·         Nuh-uh, that don’t work with him

·         Catches you by the arm and gives you a look, “Somethin’s bothering you, and you’re gonna tell me what it is.”

·         “And what if I don’t wanna talk about it?”

·         “Tough luck.”

·         Your glare could curdle milk, but you don’t say anything

·         Alright, you wanna play it that way? He’s got three brothers he grew up with; he can get it out of you.

·         Hauls you up and tosses you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and takes you to his workout station

·         Ignores your screams of outrage and the beating fists on his shell

·         They’re like little kitten paw pats; he can’t help but smile at how small you really are

·         When he sets you down in front of a world-weary punching bag, he crosses his arms and waits

·         You’re red faced and snarling. “What are you doing?”

·         He raises a fist, and gives the bag a good punch – “That’s for when Mikey backwashed into my water bottle today.” He throws another punch, “And that’s for Donnie’s stupid snorts waking me up last night,” and another, “and now I’m back on Mikey’s backwash!”

·         He stops the bag’s swaying and gestures for you to take a turn

·         Realization dawns in your eyes. You look at your fist and throw a pathetic punch at it. “That’s…for my fifth plant…dying this week?”

·         He almost laughs, but nods encouragement

·         You punch again. “That’s for whoever stole my lunch out of the fridge at work.”

·         And again. “And for those kids who spit on that homeless guy!”

·         And again. “And for Gina’s face when she made fun of my teeth!”

·         Punch after punch, you let out your anger and frustrations that boiled over today

·         Raph’s impressed – not just with how much crap happened to you, but how long you held it in

·         You’re a lot stronger than he gave you credit for

·         He’s also a bit freaked at seeing the rage in your eyes

·         Is that what others see when he comes at them?

·         Yeesh

·         You feel a lot better after the session, if sheepish for letting so much anger show

·         But he brushes it off, “Hey, you see how I am. It don’t bother me none, sweetheart.”

·         He pinches your butt for good measure as you walk back to the lair and laughs when you punch him in the arm

 Donnie

·         The one that takes the longest to realize something’s up

·         He can’t help it! He’s busy making sure his family is safe and hidden! He’s gotta keep the firewall up-to-date from all the new viruses being put out, check the perimeter lasers so that no one sneaks up on them, change the oil in the Turtle Tank, and why is the computer sparking over here, he needs to ask Raph or Leo to come with him to get new parts at the junkyard, but if he –

·         Bumps into you and is like ‘oh. how’d you get in here’

·         Delighted to see you though! It’s like all his worries suddenly vanished when he realized ‘oh yeah! I have a girlfriend!’ and that’s you!

·         Missed you a lot since it’s been a few days since you could visit

·         Starts showing you all of the progress he’s made on certain things, asks you how school’s going, how was that group project you had, did you get that interview for work?

·         It’s your clipped and short answers that finally makes him take a step back and really see how you’re doing

·         You’ve always been enthusiastic about his inventions, even if you don’t completely understand every technical thing he talks about. He thought you guys were past the awkward conversations too.

·         Clipped answers are a big no-no – it makes him shrink inside, like his words and ideas don’t matter

·         Takes a few seconds to look you over – awkward seconds, ones where you look down and away and not at him

·         “Are you alright? Did…something happen?”

·         You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself, but then the words just start pouring out: “I’m sorry, it’s just, I can’t stop thinking about how my supervisors treated me the past few days. They scheduled me to work a triple shift! Without asking me! And I told them I had a date with you, and a million other things to do, but – “

·         You lay it out for him, apologizing every other minute for just putting this on him out of the blue, that you tried really hard to be happy coming to the lair but your boss just text you that you have another shift tonight instead of getting to hang out with Donnie, and –

·         Donnie sits you both down in a couple of chairs, his hands holding your own as you keep talking and venting

·         Rubs circles into your palm, eyes never straying from your own watery and frustrated ones

·         A breath out of the nose is the end to your rant, and you lean to put your head on his shoulder. “I just hate when people spring things on me! I just wanna stay with you and hand you tools to work on stuff.”

·         His heart warms at this, even if he’s sad at how sucky your job is

·         And it gives him an idea

·         He manages to hack into your work’s scheduling system and put your supervisors or fellow employees in your place for the night

·         Even sends out a text masked as your head boss to whoever he put, letting them know they’re on the job and that you had an emergency

·         You’re torn on this – those people had things they had to do too

·         But Donnie reassures you: “If they’re as bad as you say, then getting more people mad at them might just make them change. If not, we at least get to have our date night, right?”

·         Well, when you put it that way…

·         He gets a big, long smooch for pulling it off and for listening to you

Mikey

·         Listen, this boy is intuitive when it comes to emotions.

·         He kinda has to be with the type of older brothers he has lmao

·         Instantly knows something’s up by the sound of your feet coming down the tunnels – heavy, like you want to stomp them but don’t know how

·         He’s geared up though – his baby girl’s coming!

·         Hops off the couch and has the biggest grin for you when you walk in

·         Doesn’t even falter when he sees the glower on your face

·         Says something stupid to test the waters – “Woah, babe, I’m gonna have to call the cops – I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to be as fine as you are!”

·         Not even a smirk.

·         Okay okay. Obvi you’re not in a happy mood.

·         Man, he was hoping for a little blush at least!

·         Takes that heavy bag off your shoulders you’ve been lugging around all day and corrals you back to the couch

·         Grabs some sodas and a few chocolate bars from his hidden stash in the kitchen

·         He knows you need it more than him right now

·         Sits down and calls out to the lair that “we’re making out on the couch!!” Def keeps his family from coming in and interrupting lol

·         Isn’t even phased when you explode about your day – your coworker had it out for you, your professor told the whole class that your paper was what not to do if you wanted a good grade, etc. etc.

·         Mikey accents your day with “No!” and “He didn’t!” and “What a jerk!”

·         It’s cathartic to hear someone agree with you like that

·         He takes you in his arms when the frustrated tears start falling and you start to wind down

·         “It just makes me so angry, and I hate feeling embarrassed and…”

·         Rubs circles on your back to help calm you, just like his family did to him growing up

·         After a minute you’re better, and back to your sweet, happy self, if still a bit stuffy from the tears and snot

·         You’re surprised and apologize for your emotions, but he stops you

·         “Hey, everyone has their bad days! Sometimes you just gotta let it out, y’know?”

·         You give him a big kiss for being so sweet

·         Makes the day a lot better after that with the soda and candy and some video games

·         He’s a good turt <3

[imnotwolverine]

The Accidental Family - I am..WHAT?!

Henry Cavill x OFC Phoebe (Bee) 

Warnings: mentions of smut, strong language, unplanned pregnancy, sad fluff

Word count: 2.414

Author’s note: OKAY..one more to finish the year. I’m writing this while frying oliebollen (Dutch dough balls we eat during festivities) and my fingers are all sticky and sweet, but hey; I can’t leave you readers hanging on the last day of this miserable year! Kisses 😘

(Link to my Masterlist)

--

Phoebe was done with it all. Done with this week; done with the slump that was her life right now. She just worked through a week with three over-time shifts at the hospital, some annoyances with her new IUD and Leon. Fucking-fucktard Leon. 

But tonight she was going to be a big girl and suck it up, because heck; she was a good friend and tonight was Megan’s night. After long years of hard toil and shitty side-jobs, Megan had MADE it. She had gotten her first serious acting gig and tonight was the premiere, to which Phoebe would be her +1. 

Single girls unite. 

Sighing, Phoebe leaned into her make-up mirror, applying a coat of lipgloss to her pursed lips, heavy eyelashes fluttering. She never wore this much make-up, but it seemed like a thing you did when you went to such a fancy party. An A-lister party. Would Meryl Streep be there? She always had wanted to meet Meryl Streep. 

Smacking her lips to feel the stickiness of her lipgloss - why did people like wearing this crap? -, she moved out to the hall of her small apartment where she heard the intercom buzz. Alright. Showtime. 

‘Coming!’ She called to nobody in particular, hastily looking over the rows of shoes that were messily stacked by her door. Heels - heels - heels. And that scarf. Leon’s scarf. “Accidentally” left behind after he had come over to finally pick up the last of his things. She couldn’t stand the sight of it, and if it were a “good girl thing” to do, she’d shove it down the trash right now - like the trash he was. Cheater.

*tringgg* 

Hurry! -- Okay, shoes! Purple, brown, practical, no - no - no.. And then her eye fell on the perhaps a bit painful, but very much sexy heels she had once bought to wear for her 6th anniversary with Leon. Fuck-Me-Pumps. With silvery diamond straps and all. He hadn’t given two damns about them, about her dreams she had tried to talk about during that dinner - kids - but then again, Phoebe learned a year later why that was; CHEATER. 

‘Please bring me luck, babies.’ Phoebe mumbled, picking up the intercom that buzzed again. ‘Just putting on my shoes. Down in a minute.’ 

‘Alright m’am.’ A deep voice responded politely. 

Was that the driver? It must be the driver! They had a driver?! OH MEGAN, YOU! 

Excitement started to bubble in Phoebe’s tired bones as she realised that perhaps for tonight, things could be fun - painful shoes and all. 

Show-time. 

--

The water boiler gurgled lazily on the countertop, two pairs of eyes staring down at it, willing it to go faster. 

‘You didn’t respond to my text.’ Henry tried to keep a casual tone, but even with all his acting experience, the hurt was evident as his blue eyes swiftly moved over to Phoebe, who that had just knocked on his door after 3 months of radio silence. 

‘Yea...’ Phoebe cleared her throat and awkwardly leaned into the opposite kitchen counter Henry was leaning into. The tension was tangible and for a moment she scolded herself for pushing Megan to find out Henry’s address. 

‘..some..stuff happened.’ 

‘Is this the point where you’re going to tell me you’re married and your husband found out?’ 

Phoebe’s eyes widened and a chuckle escaped her lips, making Henry frown. ‘That might have just made all this a bit easier. But eh..no. I ..’ 

--

‘FEEEEBBsss where WEREEEE youu. Oh my god. Have you met..’ Phoebe could barely manage to stay balanced on her high heels as Megan’s hand dragged her away from the toilets - away from him - and onto one of the far corners of the crowded room where some mildly creepy man was waving at Megan. Megan waved back, but Phoebe could only focus on the burst of white camera flashes behind her, her eyes wishing to look if he followed. 

But Megan’s grip was tight and Phoebe was perhaps three shot glasses too drunk to stay on her feet AND look over her shoulder - the deep pink blush on her cheeks betraying that something was going on. 

‘..so I had this super fun chat with Michael. You know Michael right? I mean he was crazyyy excited about..Phoebe? Earth to Phoebe!’ Megan’s neatly manicured nail prodded into Phoebe’s silvery dress, awakening the blond woman from her over-shoulder stare when they finally had halted. 

‘Wh-what? Hi! Sorry. Eh..’ Instantly the deep pink worsened on Phoebe’s cheeks as Megan shot her one unbelieving wild eyed stare - she knew. Oh fuck, she knew. 

‘You know what - if you’d excuse us for a moment.’ Megan smiled charmingly at the old man that was checking her out for all the wrong reasons. 

Again Megan’s hand pulled on her arm, but this time they travelled less far, walking out to a more quiet area guarded by some heavy red curtains which offered a walkway for the staff who much resembled an army of tuxedo clad ants moving large trays of fizz around. 

‘You are 50 shades of red, hun.’ Megan chuckled, wiping some mildly smudged lipgloss from Phoebe’s chin. 

‘Oh, woops.’ Phoebe quickly mimicked the wipe on her chin, but the sticky residue was already gone - though other sticky residue on some other lips were most definitely still there. 

Shit, she had to get cleaned up fast. She wasn’t even wearing any PANTIES. DAMMIT. Oh my...how..why..Wobbling dangerously on her heels again, Phoebe lurched for one of the walls, a sudden wave of nausea coming over her as her red cheeks turned bitter green.

‘Awh shit Feebs. You OK? Eh..Ehhhhh...’ Nervously Megan looked around the stretch of the hallway, black and white tuxedos cruising deftly around with the patterns of a well-practised champagne carrying dance. 

‘Pfff...’ Phoebe tried to breath in deeply, inhaling whatever air she could muster in her suddenly claustrophobically tight lungs. Oh what did she do?!!! OH NO. Oh Christ. Good girls don’t shag in toilet stalls. Good girls don’t... ‘Pff - pff -pff’ With short little puffs she let out the air, but the nausea didn’t fade. How did pregnant women do that? Damn. 

‘I gotta go home.’ 

‘Yea-yea. Let me fix you a cab.’ Megan clipped her fingers and in a few minutes Phoebe was loaded into a cab, away from the bustling bubble of Hollywood A-listers and hot shots. 

The fairytale, was over. 

--

‘I got scared.’ 

‘Of me?’ Henry’s face pulled into one of agony, making him look even more disheveled with his wild curls, crumpled white shirt - which looked much too good on his large chest - and loose hanging grey sweatpants. 

‘No. I mean. Eh. Well. I lost my phone and..I called..and..someone picked up.’ 

‘Lea? Miranda? What someone?’ Henry stepped a little closer as the water cooker started to come to a slow boil. 

‘I don’t know. I -- They said they never heard of me, so I explained what..happened - oh fuck I shouldn’t have..I...pfffff. I panicked.’ A heavy blush crept over her cheeks as she nervously eyed the water boiler, the little lever moving back to “off” as the water danced in a heavy boil within.

‘Gr-green tea? English tea? Mint? I got some..’ Henry’s voice trailed off.

Phoebe shrugged and brushed a hand over her cheek, willing herself to stop blushing as the large stranger of a man brushed passed her to reach for the tea bags that were located just beside her head. 

‘Oh sorry.’ She quickly tried to get away, but Henry could only grin. 

‘It’s not funny, Cavill.’ Phoebe pouted shyly. 

‘Well you stood me up. I’m allowed to..smile, no?’ 

Phoebe opened her mouth to say something. Perhaps ask for forgiveness, or further her explanation to why she chickened out to trying again - and how she had even gotten his address. But no words came and so she just watched as Henry turned back to the task of making tea, bunching a few mint leaves in the two grey mugs that were settled on the smooth grey kitchen counter. 

This man sure liked his greys. 

‘I eh..actually ..had to tell you something.’ 

Even Phoebe herself wasn’t prepared for the words that had just escaped her lips, but there they were, earning a surprised quirk of Henry’s eyebrow. 

‘You don’t say.’ His lip curled into another cheeky grin and Phoebe couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him. Henry chuckled and hinted in the direction of the kitchen table. ‘Let’s sit.’ 

-- And that was a very good idea -- 

--

‘Meg..oh I’m in deep shit.’ Phoebe paced her small hallway as she waited for her friend’s voice to soothe her stomach fluttering nerves, her new smartphone clutched tightly in her hand. 

‘Oh- oh- wait a sec. Baby..yea..mommy is gonna be righttt there. Just a moment okay?’ A short pause followed and then Megan finally answered. ‘HEYY booo. What’s cooking goodlookin’?’ 

‘A baby, that’s what.’ 

‘W-what?’ 

--

Why didn’t he say anything? Phoebe nervously fingered the ear of her mug, waiting for Henry to give any kind of response to what she had just explained, and for the slightest moment she considered fleeing again - like she had numerous times when she tried to find the courage and call him, text him - anything. But that just hadn’t sat right, felt right. And then for long weeks she just pushed the reality of it all away. How could she be pregnant?! HOW?! 

The new IUD, that’s how. But, Henry had used protection; how much bad luck could one have?! So much for accidents that happen in cramped little bathroom stalls. 

Finally Henry made a noise, but it was more like a surprised squeak, then any normal sound a man his size would make. 

‘I’m sorry.’ Phoebe lowered her eyes a little more, taking it up as a; yea, this is not cool, girlfriend.

No, scratch that - she was not even his girlfriend. Ha! They were strangers for fuck’s sake. 

‘O-okay.’ Henry inhaled deeply and nodded, brushing a hand over the head of his dog, who was pushing a curious nose into his lap. ‘Okay. Wow.’ 

‘Yea..’ Phoebe swallowed thickly. ‘I..I’m keeping it either way. But..I thought..’ Her fingers had apparently curled around the mug so fiercely that it right about screamed as its small ear broke off. ‘OH FUCK.’ Her eyes widened as her lips turned into a shocked little “o”. 

Henry laughed. ‘Well, we better get new mugs before that baby is born.’ 

Was he being sarcastic? Phoebe felt like she was close to tears as the man before her cracked out the mug joke. Oh, why did she always ruin things?! 

‘Oh don’t cry. Please don’t cry. It’s just a mug.’ Henry’s smile turned into a pained lip bite as he saw the silvery tears rim Phoebe’s eyes. But Phoebe couldn’t help it, her lower lip already shivering as she looked down at the broken little tea ear in her hand. 

‘I’m sorry..’ She whimpered pathetically, the first tears already beading down her cheek before Henry could push away his chair and squat down beside her. 

‘Hey-hey. It’s okay. It’s..hey, come on now.’ 

‘I’ll *sniff* g-get a new..ha..new one *sniff*’ 

Henry smiled, slowly shaking his head before he carefully brushed his fingers through her golden locks, hooking them behind her ear so he could properly see her face. 

‘Bee..’ His voice lowered to a gentle hum.

‘It’s Phoebe by the way.’ She sniffled. 

‘Okay. Hello Phoebe.’ His hand folded around her hand that was carefully holding onto the broken off mug ear. Hesitantly, Phoebe looked away from her hand, right into the blue ocean that had drawn her in some three months ago from across the crowded room. She now too noticed a little fleck of brown in there - a little accidental mutation. Would the baby have his eyes? 

‘H-hi.’ She sniffled, trying her best to turn her lips in a smile, but it only worsened everything, more tears bursting from her eyes as the stress and chaos of the past months came crashing down. In an instant she felt herself be enveloped by large warm arms, a hot breath fanning over her head as Henry nuzzled her hair, his lips brushing over the shell of her ear as he spoke: 

‘It was just an accident, okay? No harm done.’ 

Phoebe nodded, but scolded herself anyways. Sure enough he was just talking about the mug. The stupid fucking mug. But what about the fucking baby?! Her..- his - baby. 

‘Phoebe? Bee?’ He settled back a little, his fingers brushing through her hair again. ‘How about we go sit on the couch and I make you a new cup of tea and we..’ He licked his lip as his eyes quickly flew over her heart-shaped, tear bruised face. He had to try hard not to unnecessarily coo over her. He didn’t want to chase her away this time. Especially not now. Not with this..situation.

A..baby?!

‘You don’t have to be so nice you know.’ Phoebe muttered, looking back at him. 

‘Well, too bad I’m a nice guy then.’ -- Who is going to be a dad!!! WOO! --  His lips curled in a sweet smile. 

‘Nice guys don’t shag women in bathroom stalls, do they?’ 

Henry cleared his throat at her sharp words, quickly looking down at his hand covering hers. ‘Yea..that was a ..bit uncharacteristic of mine. Ha..fuck..You know I scolded myself so hard for doing that. I-I sent you a pretty long Whatsapp message after, but..’ 

‘I never got that. Must be some syncing issue when I got my new phone.’ Phoebe’s lips curled in a watery smile. ‘The couch is fine.’ 

‘Okay.’ Henry’s smile grew a little. ‘Can you walk?’ 

‘Pff..Of course I can walk.’ She huffed, before she all but flew up into Henry’s chest in surprise when she was nuzzled by a very wet nose. 

‘Oh, I forgot to mention, this is Kal. My dog. And he likes the word “walk”’ - the dog borked softly - ‘very much.’ 

They both laughed and Kal’s ears perked up, his wet nose pressing in Phoebe’s elbow again, pushing her further up into Henry’s welcoming arms. 

The whole situation was weird, but as Henry felt how naturally they somehow melted into an embrace, her arms wrapping around his back, he could only smile. 

Sometimes accidents simply offered you the little push you needed all along. Be it in the form of broken mugs or babies. 

--

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[ssajj]

Believer

Your dogs fall in love first.

2.2k

TW for mentions of a minor injury

The week after you move into your new place, you find a good dog park to take Bloom to. She's been barking like a mad woman, letting you know that she's done trying to watch you unpack your stuff. She wants out. 

"Okay, girl!" You laugh, gently pushing her down. You made the mistake of taking her leash out in front of her, so now there's no turning back. You clip it to her collar, scratching behind her ears as her tail thumps on the ground. "Let’s go find that dog park, huh? 

The walk doesn't take long. Bloom is kind of terrible on leashes though, so you're pretty sure she's walked a couple more miles than you have because of how much she's weaving around. You're still hoping that she'll settle down a bit as she gets over, even if her energy and spirit never fail to make you smile. It sounds cliche and maybe a little dumb, but you really don't know what you'd do without her. 

Once you get to the park, you take her leash off, nudging her gently so that she'll run off. She bounds off, running to the biggest group of dogs. They welcome her gladly, all sniffing each other's butts. You scoff and find a bench to settle down on, pulling out the paperback you brought with you. It's easy to relax here, even if the dogs are loud and it smells a little strange. Bloom is happy, you're happy, and the sun is shining.

--

You start taking her every weekend. There are certain dogs she seems to get along with more, other regulars. Soon, you start matching dogs to people. One in particular stands out. He's absolutely gorgeous and you're pretty sure the dog that's obsessed with Bloom belongs to him, not that you've worked up the courage to go talk to him. You don't even know what you'd say. 

Of course, that changes the day said dog decides to tackle you to the ground. 

It's an accident. You know it is. The dog tries to go for Bloom, but a slip means she slams full force into you. 

"Oh," you groan, putting your hands above your head. Both dogs are trying to kick your face. 

"Roxy!" You hear a man shout. Before you know it, the dogs are replaced by the cute man you've been eyeing. "Are you okay?"

You nod, shifting your weight in an attempt to stand up. The man offers a hand, which you take gratefully. "Strong dog."

He laughs a little, but you can see concern on his face. "Yeah, Roxy's a tough girl. Are you sure you're okay? You went down pretty hard."

"I'm fine, promise," you laugh, running your hand through your hair. Bloom's pressed close to you, nosing at your leg. You scratch behind her ear. "I'm okay, girlie."

"What's her name?" 

"Bloom."

The man smiles. "This is Roxy."

"Hi, Roxy!" You pet her, leaning down to let her lick your face. "Please don't try to murder me again."

Before you can ask the man's name, his phone starts blaring. You've never heard a ringtone so loud, noting that a few other people looking over as he answers his phone. His face closes off as he answers. To you, he seems like a completely different guy in less than a second. 

"Okay, I'll be there ASAP," he says, hanging up. "Sorry," he looks back at you. "I have to run. Work. C'mon, girl."

And with that, the mysterious cute guy is gone. 

You go back to petting Bloom. "I'm turning into an old spinster," you whisper to her like you were sharing a big secret. She just licks your face. 

--

You don't see Roxy or her owner for almost two weeks. When they show back up, the man looks beyond exhausted, settling down on a bench and folding his legs under himself. In a moment of boldness, you go up to him. 

"Is it okay if I sit here?" You gesture to Bloom and Roxy, who have already found each other. "I should probably get to know you. Looks like our dogs are dating."

He startles, making a wave of guilt rush through you. You're a little reassured by the way his face brightens when he looks at you. "Of course."

"I didn't get your name last time."

"Oh! I'm Luke. You?"

"Y/N," you tell him, settling down on the bench. The two of you watch your dogs run around together. "Roxy seems like a sweetheart."

There's not a single person on planet earth that doesn't love it when you compliment their dog. Luke isn't any kind of exception. "She is! I'm glad you're not holding it against her that she slammed into you."

You shrug. "She saw Bloom and got excited. Happens. God knows Bloom has taken me out on more than one occasion."

"Roxy loves her. She isn't usually the most social dog on the planet, you know? Like father like daughter."

"You're both being pretty social right now," you point out, making him laugh.

"You got me there. Maybe you two are just special."

A blush spreads across your face. It's stupid, but you can't really help it. "Bloom is definitely special. Is it lame if my dog is my best friend?"

Luke shakes his head. "Nah Roxy's my best friend. Got her after I was discharged."

"Military?"

"I served in Iraq, yeah."

You whistle. "Damn."

Unexpectedly, his response makes you snort. Your brow furrows. "What?"

"People usually thank me for my service. I don't think I've heard "damn" before."

"Oh!" You feel like a bit of an idiot. "Oh, was that like, super insensitive of me?"

"It's kind of refreshing, honestly," he shrugs. "Maybe don't go around saying that to everyone who served, though."

"Noted."

--

Luke and Roxy disappear again. It's probably not a big deal, and you're definitely dramatic for worrying. It isn't like you know his schedule, so you don't actually know how much he goes to the park. You don't know anything about what he does outside of taking his dog here, either. Bloom always seems a little sad when Roxy's not around to play with. 

"Your girlfriend isn't here, huh?" You ask Bloom, letting her rest her head against your leg. She's getting tired, making you gather your stuff up to head back home. 

As you stand up, you hear a voice calling your name. Bloom goes sprinting off, suddenly getting a bunch of energy. You look over and make eye contact with Luke, who's walking towards you. 

"Hey!" You greet him. "Haven't seen you in a few days."

"Work." He looks between you and the bench you just vacated, his face doing something you can't quite place. "Are you leaving?"

"Bloom seemed sleepy, but I think Roxy showing up changed that."

The two of you settle down. "I don't even know what your job is."

Luke grimaces. "Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI."

You can feel your eyes widen. "Holy shit."

At least that makes him laugh. 

"You hunt serial killers, then? Sounds super safe and not at all time consuming."

You end up talking for a long time. It isn't until Bloom and Roxy come back to you that you notice the sun is starting to set. Luke looks just as startles as you. 

As you pack up your things, you feel a gentle hand land on your arm. "Hey," Luke says softly. "Is it okay if I ask for your number?"

You grin. 

--

Insomnia hits you hard a week later. It's been over two days since you've slept for more than an hour at a time. Bloom keeps whining, obviously aware that you weren't acting right. She settles down on the bed next to you, her head resting on your chest. 

"Sorry we can't go anywhere, sweetie," you whisper as you pet her. "I can barely even function enough to go to work."

She licks your face. 

--

As you're staring at the ceiling for the millionth hour, your phone starts vibrating on the table next to you. 

"Hello?" You answer without looking at the screen. 

"Y/N?" 

Oh shit. "Luke?"

He sounds nervous. "I hope it's okay that I'm calling. You just- Roxy misses Bloom."

"Too tired."

"What?"

You belatedly realize that you should probably try making sense. "Sorry. Insomnia is really bad. Too tired for the park."

"Aw, Y/N. Is there anything I can do to help?"

You shake your head no before actually saying the word into the phone. 

--

Bloom is ecstatic the next time you take her to the park. She drags you through the fence and you practically have to tackle her to get her leash off. 

"I would have offered to help, but you looked kind of cute." You look up to see a smiling Luke. He grabs your hand to help you straighten up. "You're a little dusty now."

You snort, brushing off your shirt. "I guess you were just here for moral support, then?"

He nods. His face sobers a bit, ducking his head so he can look you in the eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"Come on. You sure?"

"Yeah. I got a full ten hours of sleep last night," you say, resisting the urge to wrap your arms around him and snuggle into his chest. You don’t know what's wrong with you. Before, you figured that as you got to know Luke, you'd lose interest. It's what usually happened when you started talking to a guy. You weren't sick of Luke, though. Actually, your heart was racing. 

His smile comes back. "Good! Roxy and I missed you guys."

--

You're asleep when the phone rings. "What the hell?" You ask, groggy. "It's like, 3am. The devil’s hour."

Whoever is on the other end pauses, the breaks out into laughter. It's a woman. "You didn't say she was funny!"

There's a rustle on the other end of the line, and you think you can hear the woman swear. "She has insomnia!" You can hear someone talking faintly in the background. Even if your brain is fuzzy, you can recognize Luke's voice. "You can't call her so late! Or at all!" Another pause, then his voice is louder. "Y/N, I'm so sorry about that."

"What's happening right now?"

"The team is out drinking. Garcia thought it'd be funny to grab my phone. No clue how she got my password."

"Why'd she call me?"

Luke sputters. You wish you could see his face. "I've just talked about you. And Bloom! They know Roxy made a friend."

More yelling in the background. The line disconnects shortly after, making you snort. 

You just go back to sleep. 

--

His face is bright red the next time you see him. Just like always, Bloom and Roxy go off on their own. You slide up next to Luke. 

"So," you start. "Were you hungover on Saturday?"

He groans. 

--

"You're limping!" You cry, running toward Luke and putting your hands on his shoulders. Roxy's at his side, so you unclip her before moving back to Luke. "What happened?"

"Hey, hey," he tries to soothe you, because he is a ridiculous man who is trying to comfort someone while he's injured. "It's just my leg."

"Sit down!"

You walk with him over to the nearest table, holding his hand as he gets himself situated. 

He doesn't let go of your hand like you thought he would. Instead, he squeezes it. "I got grazed. It'll be sore as hell for a few days, but I promise I'll be as good as new." He reaches forward with his free hand to brush the hair from your face. Your heart freezes, but he doesn't seem to notice. He just looks soft. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Not forgiven," you grumble. 

--

After you've known Luke for a couple months, you decide to start walking Bloom and Roxy together. 

"I think they're in love," you tell Luke, watching Roxy as she kisses Bloom. "I'll start getting ready for their wedding."

Luke snorts. "This is definitely the most attached Roxy's ever gotten to another dog."

"Same with Bloom."

It's nice, walking around with Luke. He's sweet, he's funny, and you can tell that he cares about you, even though you don't know if it's platonic or romantic. Either way, you know how you feel about him. It's almost enough to scare you off, but you've planted your feet in the ground next to him. You aren't going anywhere. 

"I don't really connect with people, either," Luke says suddenly, looking over at you. "So I'm glad that you met you, Y/N."

You feel warmth spread over you. "Oh. Thank you. You're not too bad, you know." You knock your shoulder against him, smiling when you manage to make him stumble. Luke is a sturdy guy. Huge muscles. You wonder how easily he could lift you, how easily he could envelop you. "How's your leg, by the way?"

"Good!" He nods. "It's all better by now."

Once the walk is over, you agree to his suggestion to do it next week, as long as Luke isn't on a case. 

--

"Should I ask him out?" You ask Bloom, who wags her tail in response. "Is that a yes? I don't speak dog. You're not being super helpful."

She just stares at you. 

--

Before you can ask Luke out, he asks you out while you're walking the dogs. 

"Hey, Y/N." You note that he sounds nervous, his usual demenor gone. "I have something I want to ask you."

"Yeah?"

After a moment of hesitation, he continues. "Do you want to go on a date with him?"

You smile widely enough to break your face. "I'd love to."

[mrsbarnes107]

Secret of the Widow

-part three-

Summary: Post Endgame time period. The team is healing, trying to navigate this new normal they’ve found themselves in when Bucky and Sam bring home a stray with an attitude.

Warnings: language, *eventual* violence and smut, death, fluff, angst

Pairings: Bucky x OC

Disclaimer: this is posted to Wattpad as well and it WILL HAVE PLOT. I’m a Bucky hoe so there will be smut and romancy stuff but this is a series, so plot plot plot.

A low growl emitted from Buckys chest upon my revelation. I turn to him and shake my head. "I know that you're curious as to why I never told anyone about your identity. Well get to that in moment." I said with a clipped nod.

"As I said, I know about you all. Steve Rodgers and his heroic friend Bucky Barnes, lost in the mountains so long ago. It's a story I know well. So imagine my surprise when I remove his beloved mask and see a very war torn Sargent Barnes decades after his apparent death staring up at me. When he came to, Bucky had no memory besides the pain he felt at the hands of HYDRA. So getting him to trust me took time, patience, and a lot of food."

I looked back to Barnes as I grew close to finishing up the story. "I told him who he was. Everything. He didn't believe me of course, at the time he was broken and confused and wouldn't understand that he was once a man that saved the world. A man that was still dying to break free from the prison of his own mind. I showed him photos from those days, told him his story, and after a lot of convincing and sleeping on a moldy floor, he began to trust me."

I sighed and took a sip of my water, setting it down with a thud. "However, I am obviously not Steve nor did I have the magic end of the line phrase handy. So once Bucky returned to HYDRA and was wiped he forgot everything again."

With a quick glance to Barnes and the flash of a smile I continued. "Keep in mind this was a year before Steve found him. In that year I came across the Winter Soldier about a dozen times. After our first meeting I couldn't leave him all alone again. I gathered intel and found him, every mission he went on. After the first few times of getting thrown through walls I learned that, if I allow him to catch me, to see me not fighting him. Bucky would fight his way out and remember me, remember who he was suppose to be. For that year I made sure he wasn't alone and I helped keep him human as much as I could."

With a shrug I finished "Like I said, when he was wiped he forgot me. And evidently the last time he went under it wiped me completely considering I got yeeted once again." I said with a quiet chuckle.

I looked around the room, allowing the silence to set for a moment. Peter broke it.

"You spent a year getting thrown around, just to keep Cranky Pants over here from feeling lonely?"

Bucky grunted and sent a glare to Peter, then leaned forward and looked at me with serious eyes and creased brows. "Why would you put yourself in that much danger, over and over again. Not only do I not deserve that kindness, but it was incredibly reckless of you."

I looked between the two. "I did it because you were in pain and I was the only person that knew you were alive. I did it because you never actually hurt me and you deserved to feel compassion."

Sam broke his silence with a frustrated sigh. "If you believe he deserved compassion, deserved help. Why didn't you tell anyone about his existence?"

"I did it to protect him. And me. If I told Nicky, he would of had him hunted and killed, he wouldn't want the liability and likely would've never told Steve. And I couldn't tell the Avengers, not only were you all preoccupied, but I would of blown my cover long before I was suppose to."

"What do you mean blow your cover? Why were you even taking out HYDRA agents in the first place? Do you work for SHIELD?" Confusion laced Banners tone as his eyebrows creased tighter together. He looks like he's trying to solve a difficult equation but is missing half the variables.

"No, I don't officially work for anyone. I answer to myself and work alone. However, Nicky, the man who helped raise me, provided me the information I have on you all. He'd send me tips on HYDRA sightings and I gathered intel and found my own missions. I was my own operative, helping you lot right under your noses."

"This Nicky, you said he helped raise you. Where are your parents? And who does he work for to have clearance like that?" Sam asked with squinted eyes.

I scrunch my nose in disgust. "Lovely. Time for the personal questions apparently."

Sitting up straight I look to Wanda, who has been incredibly quiet and mindful during the story. She looks at me and gives a small smile. This doesn't go unnoticed by Bucky or Clint, both of whom are looking between us with suspicion and curiosity.

"Only three people in this world know my identity. One of them now being Wanda due to her wonderful, yet intrusive, powers." I say with a kind look to the witch. "And the other, besides Nicky, is dead."

I clear my throat and tilt my chin up. "As we all know, Tony Stark was a very nosy genius. And that stubborn man hacked enough databases to find out about little ole me when I was thirteen years old." I glance at the room before I continue. "My identity is reserved for only the highest clearance. When Tony discovered my files he contacted Nicky and offered me an internship. He said I had too much intellect to waste and wanted to teach me how to become the operative this team will need one day." With a small, sad smile I look to Banner. "I worked with him and lived in the tower for over six years, save for the times we were both preoccupied with HYDRA agents or killer robots."

"Tony practically helped raise me, never saying a word to anyone about my existence or bragging about his favorite student." I winked at Peter at that.

The kid looked to me, confusion evident. "So Wanda, Tony, and Nicky are the only people who know who you are. If only high clearance gets access to your files, then who's Nicky?"

Someone cleared their throat, then a deep voice boomed. "That would be me."

As everyone turned in their seats to look at the new comer, I glanced at his one eye and smiled. "Ah theres the last attendee, you're late Nicky."

"Fury. Nick FURY. Thats your Nicky?!" Spidey boy squeaked out as the rest of the team just stared at the two of you.

"It's Fury to you Parker." He said with a stoney face, making Peter pale the slightest bit. "And I'm not late kiddo, you just got captured a lot faster than I thought you would."

Fury's boots echoed on the floor as he came to stand beside me. He put a hand on top of my head and glared at the rooms occupants. "Everyone, meet your newest team member."

I look up at Fury meeting his gaze with an arched brow, a question in my eyes. He gives me a slight nod and I turn to the group.

I meet each of their eyes, pausing at Bucky for a moment before stopping at Clint.

"This is Alianovna . Alianovna Romanoff."